1 00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:03,920 Speaker 1: The fucking pol police coming straight from the underground. The 2 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:06,480 Speaker 1: younger nigga got it back because I'm brown and not 3 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:09,600 Speaker 1: the other colors of police think they have the authority 4 00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:12,520 Speaker 1: to kill the minority. Fuck that shit, because I ain't 5 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:15,079 Speaker 1: the one for a punk motherfucker with a badgine the 6 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:18,239 Speaker 1: gun to beat North. It's on this jail. We can 7 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:20,400 Speaker 1: go to the talk in the middle of a sell 8 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:23,280 Speaker 1: fucking with me because I'm a teenage up. 9 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:29,160 Speaker 2: The French advisory. Good mom's bad choices. 10 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:33,279 Speaker 3: It is a beautiful day outside. 11 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:36,360 Speaker 2: Finally it's been raining. Yes, it's been raining non stop 12 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:37,760 Speaker 2: in LA, but we need that rain. 13 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:40,120 Speaker 4: I actually like the rain, yeah, because it only happens 14 00:00:40,159 --> 00:00:42,880 Speaker 4: like six days out of this three hundred and sixty five. 15 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:45,000 Speaker 3: But remember when it used to rain like all the 16 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:50,920 Speaker 3: time in LA in the nineties, nearly two thousands, okay, 17 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:51,879 Speaker 3: kind of believe it. 18 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:55,080 Speaker 2: I remember we had a shower storm once in two 19 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:55,760 Speaker 2: thousand and four. 20 00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:00,400 Speaker 3: I just always feel like it's the weak again when 21 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:02,600 Speaker 3: it's raining, and then it's not the weekend because I'm 22 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:03,680 Speaker 3: getting emails and. 23 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:07,000 Speaker 2: I have to like do things and I have shit 24 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:08,000 Speaker 2: to do, Like, is. 25 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:11,800 Speaker 4: The only place on earth that it sprinkles, and then 26 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:14,840 Speaker 4: you hear people in the gas station like, oh no, 27 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:16,360 Speaker 4: it's raining, John, I'm not coming in. 28 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:17,039 Speaker 2: The office today. 29 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:22,840 Speaker 3: I'm like, you, guys, well, they can't drive either, retarded 30 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:26,560 Speaker 3: people from LA It's like the people that the transplants. 31 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,880 Speaker 2: Know how to do it. The locals might be the ones. 32 00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:30,759 Speaker 2: Because this is when I moved to Atlanta. 33 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:33,280 Speaker 4: Honestly, the first time it rained, I thought it was 34 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:37,440 Speaker 4: going to be a tornado storm and it was just 35 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:40,480 Speaker 4: regular rain, and I realized that what we get is 36 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:41,560 Speaker 4: not rain at all. 37 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,800 Speaker 2: It's a light drizzle, it's never really raining. It was 38 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:45,760 Speaker 2: raining a lot. 39 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:48,680 Speaker 4: Girl, you haven't been to real rain unless you've lived 40 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:49,640 Speaker 4: outside of California. 41 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,560 Speaker 2: No, I mean, I guess, but it was a medium. 42 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,520 Speaker 2: It was medium. All I want to do when it's 43 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:56,520 Speaker 2: raining is just like. 44 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:01,880 Speaker 4: In my bed, Like I didn't go anywhere all day yesterday, 45 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:03,720 Speaker 4: and then for like two hours, I was like, I 46 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:04,760 Speaker 4: think I'm depressed. 47 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:06,440 Speaker 2: But then I realized maybe it's because. 48 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:07,920 Speaker 3: It was the weather and I hadn't washed my ass, 49 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:11,120 Speaker 3: changed my clothes, went outside. 50 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:14,520 Speaker 2: I was like, I'm I'm stressed. I'm depressed. And then 51 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:15,720 Speaker 2: I'm like, maybe you should wash your. 52 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:20,720 Speaker 3: Ass maybe that that that always makes me feel better washing. No, 53 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:28,960 Speaker 3: what was I gonna say? I I had an idea 54 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,680 Speaker 3: of what I was gonna say, and then I forgot, 55 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:39,400 Speaker 3: probably because I smoked already. I'm having like Eela. That's 56 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:41,440 Speaker 3: why I'm not gonna smoke. 57 00:02:43,919 --> 00:02:46,720 Speaker 2: This is why I went to Dare. It's peer pressure. 58 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,600 Speaker 2: Oh God, don't say those words, stare, Please don't listen. 59 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:51,799 Speaker 2: Still they're still around. 60 00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:52,280 Speaker 5: They are. 61 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:55,560 Speaker 4: I really want one of those T shirts, even though 62 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:59,600 Speaker 4: I feel like I'm kind of a hypochis that's the point, right, oh, 63 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:03,079 Speaker 4: to wear No, I don't think that's the point for you. 64 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:04,120 Speaker 2: I mean for me. No. 65 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:05,760 Speaker 4: I just like their shirts and I thought they were 66 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:07,760 Speaker 4: like retired, but they're making it come back. 67 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 2: I know what I wanted to say. 68 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:11,600 Speaker 3: I want to just say that if you tuned into 69 00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:15,120 Speaker 3: our episode last week, I have since added links on 70 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:17,960 Speaker 3: our website. If you go in our to our Instagram, 71 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:21,000 Speaker 3: our websites. There it's good Mom's Bad Choices dot com. 72 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:24,560 Speaker 3: I added a section with resources from our last talk. 73 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:27,040 Speaker 3: Our last episode. If you didn't tune in, you should, 74 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,200 Speaker 3: but if if you did, then you know it was 75 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:35,160 Speaker 3: about basically talking about body parts anatomy sex with your toddlers, 76 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:38,200 Speaker 3: your kids, and that it's an ongoing conversation and it's 77 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:42,040 Speaker 3: so important for kids to identify their body parts by 78 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:45,680 Speaker 3: their real names. But I'm not gonna get too much 79 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:47,760 Speaker 3: into that because we already did a whole episode on it. 80 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:50,680 Speaker 3: But just check out that resources link. It's going to 81 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:53,360 Speaker 3: be up all the time, and whenever we do episodes 82 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:54,880 Speaker 3: with like really good info. 83 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 4: We're going to keep all of the resources up there 84 00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:59,240 Speaker 4: so you guys can check in and you know, do 85 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:02,560 Speaker 4: some research, have additional resources to the things we discussed 86 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:03,600 Speaker 4: exactly smart. 87 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:07,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, and also I'll mean have bad resources there too, 88 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:09,080 Speaker 3: Like it's just my favorite strip club. 89 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:14,960 Speaker 2: Oh Sam's. I mean it's it's like the best you're 90 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:15,640 Speaker 2: gonna get in La. 91 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:18,080 Speaker 4: Yeah, but have you actually have you done Crazy Girl 92 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:18,960 Speaker 4: anytime recently? 93 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:21,640 Speaker 2: Now I went there years ago and they weren't even naked. 94 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:25,160 Speaker 4: Really, they've they've they've stepped up their game majorly. It's 95 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:26,320 Speaker 4: a little Sam's up in there. 96 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:27,960 Speaker 2: It's a little shut up and it's closer. 97 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:31,240 Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's you know, if you live in La, 98 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:33,200 Speaker 4: ain't nobody want to drive no more than a ten 99 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:36,440 Speaker 4: mile radius anywhere? If no one goes to the airport. 100 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:38,239 Speaker 4: No one goes downtown if they live in the valley. 101 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,520 Speaker 3: This is Sam's is deep, I mean on deep, It's 102 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,599 Speaker 3: just in the downtown. I'm like new to Sam's because 103 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:47,200 Speaker 3: my ex used to go there all the time, and 104 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 3: I would like, I didn't really and it was a 105 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:52,320 Speaker 3: strip club, Sam's Club the store. Now I know it 106 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,839 Speaker 3: was a strip club, but like I was just like, okay, cool, 107 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,520 Speaker 3: but he was going all the time. And then I 108 00:04:56,560 --> 00:05:00,240 Speaker 3: went like recently, maybe like three months ago on my 109 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:02,480 Speaker 3: own with a girlfriends, and I was like, that's why 110 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:03,280 Speaker 3: this nigga. 111 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:07,479 Speaker 2: Was here, Okay, I see. I was like low key angry, 112 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,200 Speaker 2: but then I was like, hey, that's kind of fun. 113 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:10,080 Speaker 2: And you know what. 114 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:12,160 Speaker 4: Also, this is me because I'm a fat ass. I'm 115 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:13,960 Speaker 4: a foodie, y'all the skinny bitches. 116 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:17,039 Speaker 2: The foodie her and her daughter and my kid. Yes, 117 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,040 Speaker 2: oh my god. And I can't be mad. She's be 118 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:20,280 Speaker 2: like every five minutes, I'm like, oh my god, I 119 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,040 Speaker 2: did it to my child. 120 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:23,120 Speaker 3: Every time when it comes over you guys, She's like, 121 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:26,560 Speaker 3: I want strawberries, I want her harries, I want a food. 122 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:28,760 Speaker 2: It makes me feel like people think I don't feed 123 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:31,440 Speaker 2: my kid. No, you know, she just loves her. She 124 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:34,240 Speaker 2: loves her some food she does. I really doesn't want 125 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:35,960 Speaker 2: to eat anything French fries. 126 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:38,560 Speaker 4: Sam's has good food, and usually, like ship clubs in 127 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:39,599 Speaker 4: Atlanta have good food. 128 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:43,520 Speaker 2: And that wasn't like ninety like sixty percent of my motivation. 129 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:46,320 Speaker 4: So the fact that they have good food really makes 130 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:49,080 Speaker 4: me feel at home because I'm like naked bitches and 131 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 4: good food, you know, like wings and. 132 00:05:50,839 --> 00:05:53,920 Speaker 2: Titties, Wings and titty We should open a strip club, 133 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:54,640 Speaker 2: wings and titties. 134 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:57,120 Speaker 3: That's a good one. It's a good one, and it 135 00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:59,280 Speaker 3: can be close. We're gonna make some merch that say 136 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:02,680 Speaker 3: wings and tit checking out on our website. 137 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:06,279 Speaker 2: What wings and titt wangs? Titties and wangs? Cause what's 138 00:06:06,279 --> 00:06:11,920 Speaker 2: wrong with them? Anyway? Anything new this week happened to you? 139 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:14,640 Speaker 2: And they've been like feeling out of it. 140 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,680 Speaker 3: So no, I just been like I got back into 141 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:21,120 Speaker 3: work and then I uh, I've been hanging. 142 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:26,000 Speaker 2: Out with Iri and I had an audition, no commercial. 143 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:29,080 Speaker 2: Oh you did have that? Go it was good? It 144 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:33,640 Speaker 2: was good. Yes, Irin, you have to go out there. Okay, 145 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:35,000 Speaker 2: so you guys go play in there. 146 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:41,800 Speaker 4: Oh, go go by, go outside, Okay, come through come here, 147 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:42,880 Speaker 4: come through here. 148 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:50,880 Speaker 3: Our podcast lives al't but anyway, iother gets to hurt me. 149 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:55,480 Speaker 2: Hi, let's go go go go. 150 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:00,040 Speaker 3: It. 151 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:03,440 Speaker 2: Okay, cause i'd be ending stuff too, Come on you 152 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:05,880 Speaker 2: edit it. I edited our last episode just like from 153 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,760 Speaker 2: stuff when I came in and it cause it was 154 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:12,560 Speaker 2: like overkill. Yeah, I was like, just it was easy. 155 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:18,520 Speaker 3: I've been getting back into work and just I wanna 156 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:20,960 Speaker 3: start working out again. I've been falling off, not feeling 157 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:24,120 Speaker 3: so great. Working out is like part of my mental 158 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:25,800 Speaker 3: sanity in life. 159 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:28,160 Speaker 2: Period. You feel like working out n ki ki like 160 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:31,080 Speaker 2: n keeps you sane. Yes, that's probably what I need 161 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:32,240 Speaker 2: to do, but it's hard for me. 162 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:34,760 Speaker 3: I get really into it and then I get really inconsistent, 163 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:36,760 Speaker 3: and then I start I just noticed a shift in 164 00:07:36,800 --> 00:08:03,320 Speaker 3: my attitude. Yes, baby, okay, okay. 165 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:04,600 Speaker 4: All right. 166 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:09,680 Speaker 2: I went on a date that was cool. This is 167 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,080 Speaker 2: oh a new date? No, no, the date we were 168 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,480 Speaker 2: a little the same date, okay, same guide, same date. 169 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:24,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, and chatted with you, texted, we texted a lot, texted, 170 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:29,360 Speaker 3: built Insta stories. 171 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:32,720 Speaker 2: To like whatever I'm like am I slow? Clearly social 172 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,960 Speaker 2: media is a whole other thing. I feel so much pressure. 173 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,480 Speaker 2: I'm like, let me ask the hair cut. This one's okay. No, 174 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:39,360 Speaker 2: I don't feel pressure. I don't. I barely know what 175 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:39,719 Speaker 2: I'm doing. 176 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:41,800 Speaker 3: I only know because of beauty Blender and like looking 177 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:44,320 Speaker 3: at their stuff all day and watching other people make 178 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:46,160 Speaker 3: things better than me, and then I'm like, oh, that's 179 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:46,880 Speaker 3: how you do that. 180 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:49,520 Speaker 4: I thought I could stayed up post for like forty 181 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:51,960 Speaker 4: five minutes, and then I get Hi, I distracted, and 182 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:52,800 Speaker 4: I'm like it's ugly. 183 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:58,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's too much. Oh So, speaking of new news 184 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:04,240 Speaker 2: recently in Kelly of North's Sacramento, did you hear about 185 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:08,240 Speaker 2: Stephen Clark. Stephen Clark is Stephan or Stephen Stefan. 186 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:11,160 Speaker 4: I think when when white people use pH, it's Stephen, 187 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:14,439 Speaker 4: when Black people use pH, it's Stefan or Stephan. 188 00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:16,520 Speaker 2: Because I've heard in a few different ways and no confusing. 189 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:19,040 Speaker 3: I don't want to be out here saying his name 190 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:23,160 Speaker 3: incorrectly because it's really important and he's an important person. 191 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:24,400 Speaker 2: Rest his soul. 192 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:30,240 Speaker 3: Unfortunately he had to lose his life absolutely, get murdered. 193 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:31,440 Speaker 2: Let's just say get murdered. 194 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:34,559 Speaker 4: He got murdered by the police in his own backyard 195 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,040 Speaker 4: for being on a cell phone. 196 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:39,920 Speaker 2: I mean this seems like I've heard this before. 197 00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:42,360 Speaker 3: I just can't believe when we just watched that video 198 00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:46,760 Speaker 3: right now, like that they shot twenty shots between two people, 199 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:50,320 Speaker 3: like this is Iraq, Like this is the war. There's 200 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:52,600 Speaker 3: only one person. It does not take twenty gun shots 201 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:55,719 Speaker 3: to put one person down. Like what kind of it's 202 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:56,280 Speaker 3: like a video? 203 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 2: Gay? 204 00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,960 Speaker 4: Yeah. I mean, first of all, to be in the 205 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,520 Speaker 4: line of duty, you're on gonna you're fighting crime. 206 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,760 Speaker 2: Let's be real, that's what you're supposed to be doing. 207 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:05,640 Speaker 2: But at some point. 208 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,199 Speaker 4: When you signed up for that ship, when you went 209 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:10,520 Speaker 4: through the camp or training whatever training that obviously it's 210 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:17,600 Speaker 4: minimal go around that happens. I mean, honestly, these people 211 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:20,959 Speaker 4: are cowards. You can literally hear him shaking and his 212 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:25,200 Speaker 4: breathing in the officer. Yeah, after they've shot this man 213 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,880 Speaker 4: twenty times. The most the hardest part is that they 214 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:31,199 Speaker 4: let him sit there for five or six minutes asking. 215 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,800 Speaker 2: Him to get up. Do you have a gun? You 216 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:34,480 Speaker 2: have a gun? 217 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:36,880 Speaker 3: You just shot someone twenty times? Do you really think 218 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:38,480 Speaker 3: they're gonna then they can respond? 219 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:41,440 Speaker 2: You think they're alive? Do you think they survived? You 220 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:43,040 Speaker 2: are a fucking idiot, is what you are. 221 00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:45,440 Speaker 4: And you should have no business having any job except 222 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:48,520 Speaker 4: the one at Walmart because you're dumb as fuck. And 223 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:53,000 Speaker 4: I really hope even though unfortunately we all know, these 224 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:56,800 Speaker 4: motherfuckers are gonna get paid leave for six months or 225 00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:59,800 Speaker 4: however long it takes a paid vacation for them the 226 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:03,280 Speaker 4: investigate when I could be I'll be the investigator murder. 227 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:05,480 Speaker 2: They need to go to jail. They're not going to 228 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:07,440 Speaker 2: go to jail. They they're not. 229 00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:09,920 Speaker 3: Especially they've already started talking about that this was a 230 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:13,120 Speaker 3: justified kill because after watching the footage, even though that 231 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:14,719 Speaker 3: like it could have because of. 232 00:11:14,679 --> 00:11:20,000 Speaker 2: What anything, how are they discussing it. It's a justified kills. 233 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:22,360 Speaker 3: That's the report that I had seen when it first happened, 234 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:23,760 Speaker 3: and I don't know if it's I'm pretty sure it's 235 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:26,360 Speaker 3: probably changed its First. 236 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:29,240 Speaker 4: Of all, the call was for a black male who 237 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:30,560 Speaker 4: was breaking into cars. 238 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:32,319 Speaker 2: Okay, not a mass murderer, not. 239 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:35,080 Speaker 4: A rapist on the loose, not someone with a machine 240 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:39,080 Speaker 4: gun in the neighborhood. It's an alert red somebody breaking 241 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:39,720 Speaker 4: into cars. 242 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,319 Speaker 2: Now, if you're going to find something. 243 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,240 Speaker 4: Breaking into cars and you just see a black man, 244 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:46,079 Speaker 4: you have not identified this person, haven't asked for any 245 00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:51,320 Speaker 4: type of ID and you pull your weapon. First of all, 246 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,240 Speaker 4: you don't need a gun to break into a car. 247 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:55,280 Speaker 4: And they said they thought it was a crowbar. What 248 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:56,000 Speaker 4: did they think he was. 249 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:56,600 Speaker 2: Going to do? 250 00:11:56,720 --> 00:12:01,240 Speaker 4: Willkanda swing it at them? Like they shot him twenty times? 251 00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:03,160 Speaker 4: And then proceeded to ask him, we need to know 252 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,520 Speaker 4: if you have a gun on you. They must show 253 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:06,760 Speaker 4: me your hands, Show. 254 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:07,160 Speaker 2: Me your hands. 255 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:09,640 Speaker 4: They must really think we're from we're superhuman. They must 256 00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:10,920 Speaker 4: think black people are superhuman. 257 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:14,079 Speaker 3: I mean, we are superhuman are but ain't nobody human 258 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:17,680 Speaker 3: survive twenty gunshots? 259 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:23,160 Speaker 2: Show me your hands? I like, I just I want 260 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:24,480 Speaker 2: to know how these people sleep at night. 261 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:26,240 Speaker 4: I want to know how do you go to work 262 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:29,880 Speaker 4: every day and you're this scared of black people. 263 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:34,160 Speaker 2: Or people period? Like this should not be listen. I 264 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:36,160 Speaker 2: don't like blood. I don't like death. 265 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:38,400 Speaker 4: I don't like losing people. I can't be a nurse. 266 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:41,360 Speaker 4: I know that because I know myself. If you're a pussy, 267 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:42,880 Speaker 4: you need not be a cop. 268 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:46,480 Speaker 2: You need not be a cop. It's like one plus 269 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:48,840 Speaker 2: one equals too. And I hope, like I literally hope 270 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:51,560 Speaker 2: that he has he. I hope that I should hunt 271 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,679 Speaker 2: that motherfucker for the rest of their lives. I really do. 272 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,920 Speaker 4: I really do, because that's somebody's child. That's somebody that 273 00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:59,400 Speaker 4: he lived with, his grandparents. His grandparents and his child 274 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:00,320 Speaker 4: were in the house. 275 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:02,400 Speaker 2: They didn't even know it was him that they shot 276 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:05,319 Speaker 2: in their backyard. They didn't even. 277 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:09,319 Speaker 4: Know that their grandchild is back there getting murdered by cops, 278 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:11,000 Speaker 4: people who are supposed to protect you. 279 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,480 Speaker 3: I mean, if I saw a cop running towards me 280 00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:18,400 Speaker 3: as a black man, I'm running too. I'm running because 281 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:20,880 Speaker 3: I don't know why y'all are running, and I'm running 282 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,560 Speaker 3: because y'all are chasing me and I haven't done shit. 283 00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:24,680 Speaker 3: And I'm scared of cops at this point because you 284 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,720 Speaker 3: guys have worked in our trust so many times. 285 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:30,040 Speaker 2: And don't get me wrong, I know some things are accidents. 286 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:33,040 Speaker 3: Do I think that these cops like set out to 287 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,920 Speaker 3: murder someone woke up this morning and were like, we're 288 00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:39,600 Speaker 3: gonna go murder some like niggers today. Like, I don't 289 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:41,600 Speaker 3: know that for sure. I can't make that. That's a 290 00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:45,440 Speaker 3: really grandose assumption, But I just feel like it's the 291 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:49,480 Speaker 3: lack of training. These people do not have any training, 292 00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:53,760 Speaker 3: which makes you do pussy shit. You act like you're 293 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:56,080 Speaker 3: in a fucking video game because and suddenly your life 294 00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:57,400 Speaker 3: is more important than the other person's. 295 00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:00,800 Speaker 2: There is training, but the training is probably biased. It's terrible. 296 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:06,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, and there's just there's just a bad likes. And 297 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:08,480 Speaker 3: then on the at the root of like what the 298 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:11,160 Speaker 3: police force is, I know it comes stems from goodness, 299 00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:14,000 Speaker 3: but they're rotting way. 300 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:16,880 Speaker 4: But that's where you're wrong, and that's where people are misconceived, 301 00:14:17,559 --> 00:14:20,920 Speaker 4: the misconception of the police forces that they I mean, 302 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:23,760 Speaker 4: we all have, you know, think that they're there for good. 303 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:26,560 Speaker 4: But you know that the police the police force started 304 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:31,640 Speaker 4: as like slave catchers. That's literally where the police force 305 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,840 Speaker 4: the root of it is. So like even the badges 306 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:37,120 Speaker 4: are similar, like that came from that. So when it 307 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,160 Speaker 4: stems from that, even like we're in the United States, 308 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:42,520 Speaker 4: it's not gonna twisted. Even black people have like embreded 309 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:47,240 Speaker 4: stereotypical racist feelings because that's what we're fed constantly. 310 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:48,720 Speaker 2: These white like these cops. 311 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:51,360 Speaker 4: That ship is not that big of a deal because 312 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:54,200 Speaker 4: there's no consequences and there have been no consequences. Fuck 313 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:57,560 Speaker 4: a body cam, it does not matter. First of all, 314 00:14:57,560 --> 00:14:59,720 Speaker 4: on that settage we didn't see him run. We just 315 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:01,880 Speaker 4: talked in the backyard. There was no footage of him running. 316 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:02,720 Speaker 4: I didn't see him run. 317 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,240 Speaker 3: And where's the app where's the rest of the footage? 318 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:07,760 Speaker 3: You only put it on so you own They switched 319 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:09,960 Speaker 3: on their camera footage when when. 320 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:11,320 Speaker 2: They started break before they started shooting. 321 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:14,640 Speaker 4: And then the fact that part is even if he 322 00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:16,960 Speaker 4: had not run or had run, it may. 323 00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:19,800 Speaker 5: Not have changed their It may not have changed anything 324 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:22,640 Speaker 5: because we've seen other videos where people aren't running, they 325 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:26,800 Speaker 5: aren't doing anything, plain daylight, Eric Gardner, and they strangled 326 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:28,720 Speaker 5: him together ten people and nobody. 327 00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:35,479 Speaker 2: Yes, okay, I'm coming. 328 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:39,760 Speaker 6: This interested. 329 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:56,640 Speaker 2: Sorry for that short break. Kids are very needy. We're 330 00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:59,200 Speaker 2: back but but yeah, anyway. 331 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:03,440 Speaker 3: I don't wanna We have an episode plans today, guys. 332 00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:05,240 Speaker 2: But we had to mention this because it is just 333 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:07,360 Speaker 2: so outrageous. 334 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:10,280 Speaker 3: Outrageous and sad, sad, and it's just sad that it's 335 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:13,960 Speaker 3: like I'm getting used to it. 336 00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:17,720 Speaker 2: It's normal. It's not surprising that this is happening because. 337 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:20,520 Speaker 3: I'm getting numbt getting numbed to it, Loki, Like, not 338 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:22,280 Speaker 3: that I don't care about this at all, I do. 339 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:24,120 Speaker 3: When I just saw that video, Like something inside me 340 00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:28,360 Speaker 3: just makes me so fucking angry. I'm angry, like it's 341 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:31,200 Speaker 3: just becoming. It's not getting better because no one's paying 342 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:34,200 Speaker 3: the price. There's no comb's going to be an example. 343 00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:36,120 Speaker 3: We just have to be the examples all the time. 344 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:37,800 Speaker 2: It's just it's crazy. 345 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:41,800 Speaker 3: And this person is someone's child, Like, this is someone's child. 346 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:46,640 Speaker 3: And people don't look at other people from different socioeconomic 347 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:50,480 Speaker 3: places and like different skin cut but they suddenly like 348 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:53,640 Speaker 3: their children are not human to them or something. 349 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:57,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, like they're not looking at they're they're what are 350 00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:58,040 Speaker 4: you saying, separating? 351 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:02,160 Speaker 3: I just mean like they just don't look at people like, oh, 352 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:03,640 Speaker 3: you're a child, You're someone's child. 353 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:07,359 Speaker 4: That's my biggest That's what I'm most baffled by because 354 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:10,359 Speaker 4: a lot of the times these cops are parents, and like, literally, 355 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:13,320 Speaker 4: I don't know what your experience was, but like obviously 356 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:15,200 Speaker 4: I knew this, but when I gave birth to, when 357 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,040 Speaker 4: I gave birth to like this innocent, small little being, 358 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:20,639 Speaker 4: and then you just see how innocent they are and 359 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:21,920 Speaker 4: how they don't know anything. 360 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,240 Speaker 2: And I mean literally, we're just born. 361 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:27,440 Speaker 4: We were not choosing any of our socio you know, 362 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,000 Speaker 4: economic statuses and it's just like you would think that 363 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,439 Speaker 4: that could soften anyone's heart. 364 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:33,000 Speaker 2: Like that when people. 365 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:36,080 Speaker 4: Who have kids who are mothers or fathers and they're racist, 366 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:39,919 Speaker 4: it really baffles me because you've experienced the beauty of 367 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:43,959 Speaker 4: childbirth and like the pureness and that you've you've chosen 368 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:48,199 Speaker 4: to have hate. Oh my god, this is this is 369 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,800 Speaker 4: not on topic, but have you seen there's a snapchat 370 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,200 Speaker 4: in some racist ass places in Middle America? 371 00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:55,480 Speaker 2: Two white nurses are. 372 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:02,560 Speaker 4: Maternity nurses in the maternity ward and they were snapchatting 373 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:05,680 Speaker 4: like this little black baby and saying like, look, I'm 374 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:08,600 Speaker 4: a rapper, like making racist comments with the baby on 375 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:09,359 Speaker 4: the snapchat. 376 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:14,040 Speaker 2: What a newborn. And apparently they have one friend that 377 00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:17,080 Speaker 2: cares because someone reported them and they got fired as 378 00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:17,520 Speaker 2: they should. 379 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:22,280 Speaker 4: But calling the baby like inappropriate names. Can you imagine? 380 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:26,760 Speaker 4: That's another thing like which brings us to our topic today. 381 00:18:27,119 --> 00:18:33,360 Speaker 4: Today we're gonna be discussing pregnancy postpartum and how real 382 00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:36,600 Speaker 4: that motherfucking transition is. Yeah, the shock factor. 383 00:18:36,359 --> 00:18:40,960 Speaker 3: Shock factor. It's not what Instagram is showing. No, it's 384 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:44,280 Speaker 3: not even what my Instagram is showing. Nobody told me 385 00:18:44,359 --> 00:18:46,400 Speaker 3: about this part of it. There's a lot of shit 386 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:50,120 Speaker 3: people don't tell me about, but this, for sure, it's like, oh, 387 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:51,160 Speaker 3: it's gonna be hard. 388 00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:58,439 Speaker 4: That is the lightest, most diet sugarcoated form of saying bitch, 389 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:08,439 Speaker 4: are you sure about this? Because yeah, yeah, seriously. This 390 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:11,440 Speaker 4: is a big thing for me because immediately I was like, 391 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:12,960 Speaker 4: what the fuck have I done? 392 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,440 Speaker 2: When you got pregnant? I mean, when I got pregnant. 393 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:20,000 Speaker 4: After I had the baby, when I got home two 394 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:20,840 Speaker 4: weeks after that. 395 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,240 Speaker 2: Well, no, when I got pregnant, I was so scared. 396 00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:27,840 Speaker 2: I was terrified. Did you cry? I didn't cry. 397 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,120 Speaker 3: I just felt fear Like I was like, yeah, like 398 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:33,080 Speaker 3: I'm going to pass time right now. And I was like, 399 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,280 Speaker 3: oh my god, Like I don't even like kids. 400 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:39,840 Speaker 2: You don't I do? Now? I love kids other than 401 00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:41,920 Speaker 2: your own kids. No, I love all kids. When I 402 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:45,399 Speaker 2: see the little kids, like really maybe like yeah, you know, 403 00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:48,120 Speaker 2: they got what I know. I have friends. 404 00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:50,520 Speaker 4: My friend who I just came back from visiting, she 405 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:52,399 Speaker 4: doesn't like kids, like she likes hers. 406 00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:54,919 Speaker 2: But like she doesn't. I have to remind her like 407 00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,560 Speaker 2: you're her aunt, like you're Linna remember She's like. 408 00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:02,920 Speaker 4: Oh, I was like her, just like I have friends 409 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:03,520 Speaker 4: who have kids. 410 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:04,199 Speaker 2: There was a mistake. 411 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:08,040 Speaker 3: No, I I just it's not that I didn't like kids. Okay, 412 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:09,760 Speaker 3: that's a strong word. I just think I just I 413 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:11,880 Speaker 3: wasn't into like playing, Like I don't want to play 414 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:12,200 Speaker 3: Hide and. 415 00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:16,720 Speaker 2: Go Seek, I want to play. I just I think my. 416 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:20,480 Speaker 3: Even like I have a really young sibling, my siblings, 417 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:23,000 Speaker 3: my youngest sibling of six, so it's like a baby. 418 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:26,160 Speaker 3: And like now that I have a baby, I would play. 419 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,000 Speaker 3: But before I'd be like, I want. 420 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:31,000 Speaker 2: To play, you know, it's so stunny to play. 421 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,439 Speaker 4: I see myself as this like nurturing maternal person, Like 422 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:36,240 Speaker 4: I've always thought that I've always wanted to have a lot. 423 00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:38,840 Speaker 2: Of kids, maybe because I'm a cancer, which was like 424 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:39,520 Speaker 2: the mother's sign. 425 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:42,000 Speaker 4: But when I told my dad, like I was telling 426 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,040 Speaker 4: my dad like yeah I want He's like you want kids, 427 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:47,400 Speaker 4: and I was like, yeah, you didn't know that, He's 428 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:50,040 Speaker 4: like remember, I just I was shocked that my own 429 00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:53,680 Speaker 4: father like was questioning that I should be a parent 430 00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:55,600 Speaker 4: and be like wanted to be a parent. But like 431 00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:59,160 Speaker 4: almost like eight years ago, one of the coptail witch 432 00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:01,000 Speaker 4: I was telling him body, I was getting a puppy, 433 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,280 Speaker 4: and they were like, why you shouldn't get a puppy 434 00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:05,800 Speaker 4: like everybody, And I was like, what nobody thinks of 435 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,040 Speaker 4: any skills? 436 00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:07,159 Speaker 7: You? 437 00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:08,760 Speaker 2: Well, you're like, I'm mother nature. 438 00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:16,000 Speaker 4: I came off, I was nurturing Motherlike what are you 439 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:20,479 Speaker 4: talking about? So clearly my own self perception and everybody 440 00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:24,680 Speaker 4: else's is off. But yeah, I mean, I guess I 441 00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:27,800 Speaker 4: can see where people could get that idea, but clearly 442 00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:29,600 Speaker 4: we are very mothering mother like. 443 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:36,280 Speaker 2: I love I love kids. Now it's usually the parents. 444 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:42,000 Speaker 2: Parents do better. Parents bad parents make asshole kids do better. 445 00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,080 Speaker 3: But you know, I was. I was, and then I 446 00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:50,439 Speaker 3: got excited because he was excited, and you know, but 447 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:53,280 Speaker 3: then when my body started changing was hard for me 448 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:56,119 Speaker 3: to At first it was. 449 00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:58,320 Speaker 2: Cute and then there was a point where I just 450 00:21:58,359 --> 00:21:59,119 Speaker 2: wasn't cute anymore. 451 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,080 Speaker 3: But it was my fault. I ate, like it was 452 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:04,439 Speaker 3: my fucking full time job. Like I ate, like I 453 00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:07,119 Speaker 3: was eating for three and three How. 454 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:10,960 Speaker 2: Much weight did you gain? Seventy pounds? Oh my god, Eric, yeah, 455 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,680 Speaker 2: seventy pounds. How did you even lose on that weight? 456 00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:16,120 Speaker 2: It's been a minute, Yeah. 457 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:20,600 Speaker 3: Taking me almost three years, literally, Like I was like, 458 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:22,920 Speaker 3: you're passed about that? At first, that's like I think 459 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:25,399 Speaker 3: part of the reason that like postpartum popped up for 460 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:28,560 Speaker 3: me initially because I've always been so conscious of my 461 00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:32,640 Speaker 3: weight and my body and like being an actor and 462 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:34,520 Speaker 3: like like a kid model or whatever. 463 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:37,600 Speaker 2: Like you know, you become aware of those things that 464 00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:40,399 Speaker 2: are kind of an early age, which doesn't help. Yeah, 465 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:41,000 Speaker 2: you come away. 466 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:42,439 Speaker 3: Those things kind of an early age. And so I 467 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:46,200 Speaker 3: was always like a little self conscious. And so I 468 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:48,600 Speaker 3: don't get me wrong, I look in the mirror even 469 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,320 Speaker 3: now and like even back then and be like growing, 470 00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:52,400 Speaker 3: you look good to day. The other's days I'm like, ooh, 471 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:58,480 Speaker 3: ate those burgers four days in a row. But yeah, 472 00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:00,280 Speaker 3: I just like the idea of my body and it 473 00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:02,800 Speaker 3: was really hard for me to adjust to. It was 474 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:05,280 Speaker 3: really hard. And obviously when you gained seventy pounds, it's 475 00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:06,119 Speaker 3: also hard to hide. 476 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:10,120 Speaker 4: So yeah, ain no uh weigh. 477 00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:13,320 Speaker 2: But I saw your pregnancy photos. Girl, you were all cute. 478 00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:15,679 Speaker 2: You just didn't gain one paund You gain like ten pounds. 479 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:18,160 Speaker 4: I gained like thirty five pounds, but it was literally 480 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:19,200 Speaker 4: all in my stomach. 481 00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:20,960 Speaker 2: I went for my postpartum six weeks. 482 00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:22,960 Speaker 4: First of all, I was portion of the reason I 483 00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:24,480 Speaker 4: was happy to get pregnant, since I thought I was gonna 484 00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:27,400 Speaker 4: be thick and get hips, and like six weeks later 485 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:29,199 Speaker 4: when I went to the postpartum I think I was. 486 00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:32,080 Speaker 2: I started and ninety eight pounds. 487 00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:33,399 Speaker 4: Before I got pregnant, and I went back to my 488 00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:36,760 Speaker 4: postpartum bitch, I was ninety six pounds. 489 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:42,119 Speaker 2: I was pissed. I'm like, check that again, what do 490 00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:44,200 Speaker 2: you mean it was only six weeks ago. 491 00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:48,280 Speaker 4: You're telling me not any of this weight stayed thirty 492 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:51,800 Speaker 4: five pounds and I come back with my negative too. 493 00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:56,320 Speaker 2: I was mad. Oh my god, I lost thirty pounds, 494 00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:57,679 Speaker 2: like immediately from. 495 00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:00,159 Speaker 4: Having the baby, right the baby, all the weight you 496 00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:02,040 Speaker 4: lost right there. I think you can see my I 497 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:05,560 Speaker 4: think you can see like my ribs in my Like 498 00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:07,639 Speaker 4: my ribs were on top, the belly was the loft. 499 00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:10,040 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. 500 00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,160 Speaker 4: But when I found out I was pregnant, first of all, 501 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:14,560 Speaker 4: it's so it's a bizarre thing because I was like 502 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,600 Speaker 4: living with my man at the time. I've known him 503 00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:22,200 Speaker 4: like fifteen years, so I shouldn't have been like freaked out. 504 00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:25,320 Speaker 4: But I cried. I like cried like a baby. And 505 00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:26,560 Speaker 4: I remember looking at him and he was like, oh 506 00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:29,240 Speaker 4: my god, this she's a bitch. I remember thinking like, 507 00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:31,639 Speaker 4: I'm a mean person, and I was just like, eh, 508 00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:34,480 Speaker 4: I was scared. And I was so scared that first 509 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:36,119 Speaker 4: of all, I'm super hippie and I'm super. 510 00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:39,720 Speaker 2: Like, God send me signs, spirits, ancestors. 511 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:42,800 Speaker 4: So I asked all my friends, like, do you guys 512 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:45,960 Speaker 4: know any like spiritual guides or like psychics? I asked 513 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:48,680 Speaker 4: all the hippie friends for two weeks straight. Nobody got 514 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:50,680 Speaker 4: back to me. So I'm like, oh, this is something 515 00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:52,800 Speaker 4: I'm gonna have to make a decision about pretty soon. 516 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:56,159 Speaker 2: So I'm literally at a friend's friend's house. 517 00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:58,840 Speaker 4: We've been there all day and I just smoked a 518 00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:00,879 Speaker 4: little weed and I said her like, do you know 519 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,280 Speaker 4: any spiritual advisors I have, like this thing I really 520 00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:05,399 Speaker 4: need to talk to someone about. She's like, yeah, my 521 00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:07,840 Speaker 4: friend Eddie she's inside. I'm like, really's like, yeah, she's 522 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,320 Speaker 4: been here all day. She's the best psychic I know. 523 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,200 Speaker 4: I'm like seriously, She's like yeah. I'm like I'm been 524 00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,440 Speaker 4: asking people for two weeks. I'm like, can you ask 525 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:16,640 Speaker 4: her if she'll talk to me? She's like yeah, I'll 526 00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:20,320 Speaker 4: pay her. So Eddie decides to do it. She busts 527 00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:21,240 Speaker 4: out her Tarot cards. 528 00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:24,439 Speaker 2: Oh damn. I didn't tell her what my thing was 529 00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:26,879 Speaker 2: because I was still skinny. I was like four or 530 00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:27,840 Speaker 2: five weeks pregnant. 531 00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:32,200 Speaker 4: And she starts reading the cards. Erica, this bitch, I'm 532 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:35,240 Speaker 4: looking at the cards they're facing. Her pulls a pregnant 533 00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:37,800 Speaker 4: Tarot card. Shut up, it was I didn't even know 534 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:39,200 Speaker 4: if pregnant tarrot card existed. 535 00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:41,520 Speaker 2: And I'm looking like trying to break my neck, and 536 00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:43,080 Speaker 2: she's like, well, you see this card. 537 00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:47,760 Speaker 4: And after that, like I didn't, I consciously asked God 538 00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:51,320 Speaker 4: to give me an answer. She clearly pulled the pregnant card. 539 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:55,320 Speaker 4: I didn't hear anything else she said. I was just like, oh, okay, God, okay, 540 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:58,879 Speaker 4: well let's do it, you know, like okay. So, I 541 00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:02,399 Speaker 4: mean I basically kept my child because the strangers psychic 542 00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:04,560 Speaker 4: lady told me that it was in the stars. 543 00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:05,840 Speaker 2: In the stars. 544 00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:08,679 Speaker 3: Yeah, I was scared, but I had, like I just 545 00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:12,640 Speaker 3: knew I was going to keep it, per keep it. 546 00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:14,960 Speaker 4: Well, I mean because I help her. Like when we 547 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:18,359 Speaker 4: got pregnant, I was twenty six, twenty seven. Yeah, so 548 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:21,040 Speaker 4: I mean we're past the like unacceptable way. 549 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:21,879 Speaker 2: I'm twenty seven. 550 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:23,879 Speaker 3: I've been with my man at this point for like 551 00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:25,440 Speaker 3: five years, you know. 552 00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:29,960 Speaker 4: Mature adult. Yeah, and she's like kind of in high school. 553 00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:34,439 Speaker 4: I think I had started to feel more maternal in 554 00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:36,360 Speaker 4: that last year for some reason. 555 00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:41,119 Speaker 2: A little bit more probably age. Yeah, And so I 556 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:41,800 Speaker 2: just went for it. 557 00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:45,200 Speaker 8: And here I'm blessed of my little Ivy Jane Yay. 558 00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:49,160 Speaker 8: Now we have children that are friends and very annoying friends, 559 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:54,960 Speaker 8: but it's still very nice. 560 00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:59,199 Speaker 3: But yeah, So I think you know, if you live 561 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,359 Speaker 3: in the world that we live, which is Instagram, like 562 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:03,920 Speaker 3: you see people and they have their babies and and 563 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:06,720 Speaker 3: they're like they've lost all the weight or there are 564 00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:10,760 Speaker 3: suddenly their baby wait turned into like like like musa 565 00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:14,160 Speaker 3: video vixen body, or like they're. 566 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:14,879 Speaker 2: Madly in love. 567 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:17,200 Speaker 4: They've just got engaged and had a huge fat ring 568 00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:18,640 Speaker 4: and fee a huge house. 569 00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:20,920 Speaker 2: And yeah, and like we're going on walks and they're 570 00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:21,720 Speaker 2: all watching. 571 00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:26,240 Speaker 3: I think it's just so like confusing for someone who 572 00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:28,719 Speaker 3: like has most part of it is seeing that as 573 00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:31,520 Speaker 3: a first time parent and they're just like, what, like, 574 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:35,040 Speaker 3: what's wrong with me? Why am I not? Like, first 575 00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:36,960 Speaker 3: of all, am I why don't I look like that? 576 00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:38,720 Speaker 2: Yet? It's not even about love. 577 00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:41,800 Speaker 3: Why don't I feel like that? I feel why I 578 00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:43,280 Speaker 3: don't want to go to the park. Why do I 579 00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:44,720 Speaker 3: want to Why would I want to go to the park. 580 00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:47,399 Speaker 3: Everything's here, honestly. 581 00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:52,639 Speaker 4: Like the day I left the hospital, they put me 582 00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:55,639 Speaker 4: in the car and I got home, I was like 583 00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:59,720 Speaker 4: I felt like a child that got dropped off by 584 00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:03,480 Speaker 4: our for the like wha, wait your late wait hold on, 585 00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:05,719 Speaker 4: I'm not ready to go yet. Like I know, I 586 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:08,080 Speaker 4: still get out of here, but are you The nurse 587 00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:09,000 Speaker 4: is not coming with me? 588 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,520 Speaker 2: Like I felt in shock, like I was in shock. 589 00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:14,919 Speaker 2: And then after like three days sitting in my house, 590 00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:18,280 Speaker 2: it was raining and shit, I think. 591 00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:20,040 Speaker 4: Her dad went to work, and I was just like, 592 00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:23,040 Speaker 4: oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my. 593 00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:26,479 Speaker 2: God, this is my life. This little bitchmull get off 594 00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:29,159 Speaker 2: of my nipple. I'm gonna come on. 595 00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:31,800 Speaker 4: And then like I was cleaning and she fell asleep 596 00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:33,600 Speaker 4: and I was cleaning, and I was like zoned out, 597 00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:37,600 Speaker 4: and oh shit, that baby, check on that baby. I 598 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:40,360 Speaker 4: was like, I just it was It's like the hugest 599 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:42,400 Speaker 4: transition I've ever experienced. 600 00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:44,720 Speaker 2: And immediately I'm like, oh my god, how am I? 601 00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:47,800 Speaker 4: My stomach got really dark, because like the hormones, like 602 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:48,440 Speaker 4: the stretching. 603 00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:50,360 Speaker 2: I was like, I'm never gonna be wear bathing suit. 604 00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:54,560 Speaker 2: I'm not sexy, I'm not spicy. I'm not spicy Jam. 605 00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:57,760 Speaker 2: Then who am I like, Mama Jam, Like, who's that person? 606 00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:01,560 Speaker 2: It seems we don't know. I'm still figuring it out 607 00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:04,440 Speaker 2: right this ban hence the show. 608 00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:06,720 Speaker 3: You've fee one way your whole life and then you 609 00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:08,760 Speaker 3: have to take care of another life and shit kind 610 00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:10,920 Speaker 3: of so I'm like, you're not you who you are, 611 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,680 Speaker 3: but everything changes. And that's how I felt. I felt 612 00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:16,960 Speaker 3: when when I went home, I was like, I mean, 613 00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:20,040 Speaker 3: I was just like, oh my god, like is she alive? 614 00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:20,680 Speaker 2: She okay? 615 00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:24,240 Speaker 3: Like always just always so nervous, there's no hand and 616 00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:28,480 Speaker 3: the most tired I've ever been in my life. 617 00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:30,600 Speaker 2: It comes this daunting cloud that comes. Ever you're like, 618 00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:33,160 Speaker 2: oh my god, this is my life now. It's just heavy. 619 00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:34,640 Speaker 2: It's so tired. 620 00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:36,320 Speaker 3: I try to explain to my friends I don't have kids, 621 00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:38,760 Speaker 3: or like maybe are pregnant, like our girlfriend is pregnant, 622 00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:41,120 Speaker 3: and I'm just trying to tell explain and sometimes I 623 00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:44,800 Speaker 3: have flashbacks and I'm like I thought I knew that 624 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:47,240 Speaker 3: I'd be tired like before when I before I had 625 00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:48,760 Speaker 3: a baby, I'm like, okay, yeah you're tired. 626 00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:50,280 Speaker 2: I get it. I'm gonna be so tired. 627 00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:55,680 Speaker 3: Then until your art You're like this is beyond tired. 628 00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:58,840 Speaker 3: This is some other shit. And that's where like it's 629 00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:03,160 Speaker 3: just like can get confusing. The tiredness can make you depressed. 630 00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:04,880 Speaker 3: And if you don't have breaks and if you don't 631 00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:08,320 Speaker 3: have someone to a support system, it's really difficult. 632 00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:11,960 Speaker 4: And then it's just like you're you're feeding the baby, 633 00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:13,560 Speaker 4: you're changing the baby, You're bathing with the baby, you're 634 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:15,320 Speaker 4: getting the baby dressed, the baby's sleeping with you. There 635 00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:16,720 Speaker 4: was a moment I got home to the hospital and 636 00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:19,479 Speaker 4: like my baby's daddy was like here on my cheeks. 637 00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:21,200 Speaker 4: The baby was like right under me, and I was. 638 00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:25,320 Speaker 2: Like I was like, oh my god, I can't breathe. 639 00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:26,800 Speaker 4: And then like maybe like six six later, he was 640 00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:28,800 Speaker 4: trying to like the baby went to sleep, probe me 641 00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:29,320 Speaker 4: for sex. 642 00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:32,320 Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my god, I'm a machine. Like I decided, 643 00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:34,000 Speaker 2: I like you is give I give right. 644 00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,160 Speaker 4: I felt like I was getting depleted, like my energy 645 00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:38,840 Speaker 4: was just going to this baby. Now you you just 646 00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:42,320 Speaker 4: put your dick out right, like, put that shit away. 647 00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:44,080 Speaker 4: First of all, we just had a baby. You see 648 00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:46,560 Speaker 4: that where that gets us? You got to fuck away 649 00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:48,640 Speaker 4: from me from that thing. Don't ever pull it out again. 650 00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:52,560 Speaker 2: It was pits. Oh my god, it's so true. You 651 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:54,440 Speaker 2: do you feel like the giving tree? 652 00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:57,960 Speaker 4: Yes, like wait, hold the fuck up. This is what 653 00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:00,200 Speaker 4: I this is what I signed up for. And then 654 00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:02,440 Speaker 4: I think there's like it's because you know what, a lot. 655 00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:04,040 Speaker 3: Of it, like I said, in social media plays a 656 00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:06,120 Speaker 3: part because men are looking at these women that have 657 00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:08,360 Speaker 3: babies and they're just out and about looking sexy and 658 00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:10,880 Speaker 3: their stollers and look fuckable, like you're just living this 659 00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:13,680 Speaker 3: great post baby life and they're like, why isn't my 660 00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:17,120 Speaker 3: wife looking are doing this? It's because most of those 661 00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:18,440 Speaker 3: women aren't doing this either. 662 00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:21,120 Speaker 4: And then we live in this fucked up society where 663 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:24,000 Speaker 4: like we said, like, no one discusses this real shit 664 00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:27,200 Speaker 4: about what happens after you have a baby. Literally after 665 00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:29,040 Speaker 4: I gave birth and I laughed, I was like, my 666 00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:29,960 Speaker 4: vagina hurts. 667 00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:31,600 Speaker 2: No one talk to me about that. 668 00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:31,840 Speaker 7: No. 669 00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:34,480 Speaker 2: I was like, don't laugh, Like, no one talks to me, 670 00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:36,760 Speaker 2: like you always think about the birth. It's gonna be 671 00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:38,360 Speaker 2: so hard a da da dah, and then but then 672 00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:41,600 Speaker 2: you have then you're bleeding, you're fucking pussy hearts. 673 00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:44,720 Speaker 4: You can't laugh hard. It's weird, like these are none 674 00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:47,440 Speaker 4: of the things. Nobody mentions this shit. And then even 675 00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:50,680 Speaker 4: within the mom community, I feel like there was a 676 00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:53,160 Speaker 4: lot of pressure to be like we have like this 677 00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:54,840 Speaker 4: mom image, you. 678 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:57,040 Speaker 2: Know, like you schoos to be fucking Susie Homemaker. 679 00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,480 Speaker 4: After you have a kid, automatically, you birth the baby, 680 00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:02,280 Speaker 4: you come up looking like Susie. You know, like, no, 681 00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:05,760 Speaker 4: it's not what happens. And if you don't like live 682 00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:07,720 Speaker 4: up to that, then you're like, something's wrong with me. 683 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:09,840 Speaker 2: No, for sure, it's true. 684 00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:12,400 Speaker 3: I mean there's just yeah, it's just I mean I 685 00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:15,680 Speaker 3: didn't wash my like do my hair for like weeks. 686 00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:18,000 Speaker 3: I don't even know if that's postpartum. I think that's 687 00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:21,840 Speaker 3: just the first four weeks also. But then if you 688 00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:24,560 Speaker 3: just keep it going, we're going and going, you know 689 00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:26,480 Speaker 3: what I mean, Like you have to get you have 690 00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:29,280 Speaker 3: even though like literally your life is never the same. 691 00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:30,320 Speaker 2: Because that was my thing. 692 00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:34,080 Speaker 3: I was like, I think postpartum depression is such like 693 00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:36,640 Speaker 3: people don't like to talk about it because it can 694 00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:40,520 Speaker 3: be really embarrassing. The thoughts that you have some parents have. 695 00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:43,480 Speaker 3: I fortunately did not have these thoughts, but I know 696 00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:46,480 Speaker 3: that it pops up all the time in postpartum, that 697 00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:48,640 Speaker 3: women feel like they want to hurt their child, that 698 00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:51,400 Speaker 3: they have bad thoughts, that they feel totally disconnected from 699 00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:56,000 Speaker 3: their child. And that's the worst thing that you can feel, 700 00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:58,440 Speaker 3: or feel judged by, feel. 701 00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:00,000 Speaker 2: Judged for as a woman. You know what I mean. 702 00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:04,880 Speaker 3: We're supposed to be these like maternal like beings, right, 703 00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:05,680 Speaker 3: and that's not true. 704 00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:09,080 Speaker 2: We don't come in maternal. We learn it because you know, 705 00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:09,720 Speaker 2: I could. 706 00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:12,960 Speaker 4: Only be as maternal as you know your experience and 707 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,280 Speaker 4: if you've never had kids, right. Even I think I 708 00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:18,120 Speaker 4: went to the I had got the doctor maybe like 709 00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:20,400 Speaker 4: a week after I gave birth, or maybe a few 710 00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:22,920 Speaker 4: days because I had high blood pressure. And I was 711 00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:25,320 Speaker 4: in the waiting room at that OpEd my inn and 712 00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:28,760 Speaker 4: the baby Luna starts crying, getting fussy, and I remember 713 00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:33,000 Speaker 4: like shaking her, bouncing, and I remember all the women 714 00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:34,520 Speaker 4: looking at me, and I just got this. 715 00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:37,479 Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, everybody's looking at me. 716 00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:39,920 Speaker 2: She won't shut up. I'm doing it wrong. I just 717 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:42,600 Speaker 2: touched your position. A couple of times unless she put 718 00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:47,360 Speaker 2: my blue rock. I was with my my, her dad's mom, 719 00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:49,480 Speaker 2: and she was looking at me. I just felt I 720 00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:50,200 Speaker 2: just had to step up. 721 00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:51,840 Speaker 4: I took the baby and I stepped outside because I 722 00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:54,120 Speaker 4: felt so much pressure that the other women who probably 723 00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:55,600 Speaker 4: already had kids were like that, there's just no. 724 00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:59,760 Speaker 2: She's doing well. You did it, you did it, you know. 725 00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:03,960 Speaker 3: I mean I took baby classes and everything in the 726 00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,120 Speaker 3: moment she came. I mean, I have to say though 727 00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:08,120 Speaker 3: the moment she came, I knew how to hold her. 728 00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:10,319 Speaker 2: I know that for sure, it does come natually, but 729 00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:13,839 Speaker 2: it is still a very scary experience. But it's over. 730 00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:16,279 Speaker 3: When she came home, we were alone, just met her 731 00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:18,840 Speaker 3: and her dad. I was like, and then he left 732 00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:20,439 Speaker 3: for like I don't know, to go get food. 733 00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:22,759 Speaker 2: I was like, wait, what right? Any way coming on? 734 00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:24,960 Speaker 2: Are you okay? Like are you reading? 735 00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:30,839 Speaker 3: And then just once I finally adjusted to being a mother, 736 00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:34,440 Speaker 3: and I still I just then I just felt I 737 00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:37,120 Speaker 3: was like, okay, I'm getting the hang of this. I 738 00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:40,680 Speaker 3: haven't been out in months and I looked terrible. I'm 739 00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:44,480 Speaker 3: still I'm still there's something, there's something different for me. 740 00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:46,640 Speaker 3: Nothing's ever going to be the same again, and that's true. 741 00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:49,680 Speaker 3: Nothing is ever the same again, and in the best 742 00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:51,760 Speaker 3: way possible. But it's hard to see that at first, 743 00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:55,080 Speaker 3: especially when you're in postpartum, which I didn't realize I 744 00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:58,799 Speaker 3: had postpartum until I was out of it and I 745 00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:01,200 Speaker 3: looked back on it and I was like, Oh, you 746 00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:04,560 Speaker 3: were not okay and you were not happy, and you know, 747 00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:07,080 Speaker 3: the person that you were with didn't know how to 748 00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:08,960 Speaker 3: support you in that because they don't. 749 00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:11,520 Speaker 2: Teach men about that. They don't. They don't. 750 00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:14,280 Speaker 3: Men don't even understand, even if if they get taught 751 00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:17,080 Speaker 3: or whatever. It's hard for no men understands how a 752 00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:18,920 Speaker 3: woman feels after you. 753 00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:21,760 Speaker 2: Literally women don't even know I understand how they feel. 754 00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:25,760 Speaker 3: Like our bodies are flushed out, like we gave birth 755 00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:28,600 Speaker 3: and everything that we've been like incubating and holding in 756 00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:30,520 Speaker 3: is just suddenly depleted. 757 00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:33,560 Speaker 2: For other babies just like that. Yeah, and we're supposed 758 00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:35,840 Speaker 2: to be just fine. Your hormones are literally raging. It's that. 759 00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:38,000 Speaker 2: It's that it's literally an influx. 760 00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:41,160 Speaker 4: In your hormones or whatever readjustment. But it takes time 761 00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:44,600 Speaker 4: to adjust to that. And honestly, as soon as I 762 00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:47,640 Speaker 4: came home when I was sitting on that couch alone 763 00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:54,880 Speaker 4: and overwhelmed. I saw immediately how postpartum depression can easily 764 00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:57,160 Speaker 4: even how any woman who does how the baby can 765 00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:00,279 Speaker 4: easily fall into a form of depression because there's this 766 00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:04,280 Speaker 4: major transition and adjustment that nobody talks about. 767 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:05,560 Speaker 2: And no, it's crazy. 768 00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:07,719 Speaker 3: And we did a little bit of research and found 769 00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:11,840 Speaker 3: out that one in seven women suffer from postpartum depression. 770 00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:13,880 Speaker 2: Which is a lot. That's a huge number. 771 00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:19,680 Speaker 3: And it's even crazier is like four million, So four 772 00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:23,759 Speaker 3: million live births a year, six hundred thousand of those 773 00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:28,240 Speaker 3: women that have those children are going to experience postpartum depression. 774 00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:32,920 Speaker 3: That's more than someone who has breast cancer, cervical cancer, 775 00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:36,680 Speaker 3: a stroke, all those combined. These women there, there's more 776 00:36:36,719 --> 00:36:39,239 Speaker 3: cases of postpartum depression than all those things combined to women. 777 00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:42,319 Speaker 2: So it's it's seriously a thing. And then it's a thing. 778 00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:46,879 Speaker 3: After looking at these stats, I was like, damn, Like 779 00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:50,160 Speaker 3: like I was like really, I thought like I was alone. 780 00:36:50,239 --> 00:36:52,400 Speaker 3: And then I talked to my other girlfriend who experienced 781 00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:55,000 Speaker 3: it pretty badly, a lot more severe than I did, 782 00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:58,560 Speaker 3: and she was embarrassed to talk about it and to 783 00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:01,160 Speaker 3: hear her talk about it was like wow, wow. I 784 00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,480 Speaker 3: mean if I have felt the way that, if I 785 00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:06,560 Speaker 3: had those thoughts, like suicidal thoughts and thoughts of hurting 786 00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:08,640 Speaker 3: my child, I don't know who I would feel comfortable 787 00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:09,280 Speaker 3: talking about. 788 00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:10,640 Speaker 2: That with either, because you feel guilty. 789 00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:13,480 Speaker 4: Those so shamed, like ashamed, like who am I that 790 00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:16,279 Speaker 4: I'm thinking of killing my kid? But it's common and 791 00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:18,680 Speaker 4: it happens. And because it's so shamed, it's such a 792 00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:20,920 Speaker 4: it's so look that it's so shameful, and people don't 793 00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:22,560 Speaker 4: discuss it and people are embarrassed. 794 00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:26,080 Speaker 2: To talk about it. Forty percent of those cases go undiagnosed. 795 00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:29,200 Speaker 2: So there's four million, like six. 796 00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:32,319 Speaker 4: Hundred thousand women developed this and forty percent are not 797 00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:35,839 Speaker 4: even cases are not diagnosed. I mean, imagine how many 798 00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:38,319 Speaker 4: people experiencing it and not a not knowing and be 799 00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:39,560 Speaker 4: not getting help. 800 00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:40,840 Speaker 2: Right, No, it's crazy. 801 00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:43,440 Speaker 4: And how many kids actually get harmed as a result 802 00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:47,719 Speaker 4: or abandoned or actually moms kill themselves. The suicide rate 803 00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:50,040 Speaker 4: and among postpartum women is pretty high too. 804 00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:53,080 Speaker 3: It's pretty high. Yeah, especially the kids. It's just like 805 00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:57,000 Speaker 3: they don't know why mommy is disconnected from them. Why 806 00:37:57,120 --> 00:37:59,719 Speaker 3: is and even when you're even as a child, as 807 00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:03,560 Speaker 3: a as a baby, a newborn, you're you all, you're 808 00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:07,640 Speaker 3: you're just like this new thing in this world and 809 00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:11,000 Speaker 3: you don't have anything except your mother, right, and she's 810 00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:13,520 Speaker 3: who you writ from. You Like, can you imagine what 811 00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:15,120 Speaker 3: that what kind of effect that has on like a 812 00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:16,160 Speaker 3: baby's brain? 813 00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:21,360 Speaker 4: Well, whenever, what did our stats say? Eleven percent? 814 00:38:22,239 --> 00:38:22,279 Speaker 7: No? 815 00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:25,600 Speaker 2: No, there was a study on eleven year olds who. 816 00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:29,120 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, eleven year olds who's whose parents suffered from 817 00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:32,920 Speaker 3: post part of depression, and they had considerably lower IQs. 818 00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:35,680 Speaker 4: I mean we don't I'm not sure what the variable 819 00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:39,360 Speaker 4: or in that research, but I mean I can I 820 00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:41,920 Speaker 4: can see how important it is to bond with your 821 00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,560 Speaker 4: kid and those to those you know, initial moments, and 822 00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:46,799 Speaker 4: that not happening does affect your kids, even if they 823 00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:49,239 Speaker 4: are just newborns and you think that it doesn't, that 824 00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:55,239 Speaker 4: emotional like connect is it's pretty important. Yeah. 825 00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:58,480 Speaker 3: I mean these like suicidal deaths account for twenty two 826 00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:01,040 Speaker 3: percent of postpartum mortalities. 827 00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:04,000 Speaker 2: Like that's that's just twenty two percent of the lot. 828 00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:06,960 Speaker 3: That's just not okay, And it's kind it's like some 829 00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:09,440 Speaker 3: people know like I'm depressed. Other people I think postparty 830 00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:11,879 Speaker 3: we can be confusing because you have this beautiful baby. 831 00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:13,879 Speaker 2: So you're like, I'm not depressed, what I have this kid. 832 00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:15,200 Speaker 2: We're good where I'm happy. 833 00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:17,320 Speaker 3: And then you're like, I'm not happy and I'm so horrible, 834 00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:18,960 Speaker 3: like I'm never gonna be able to go out again. 835 00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:23,440 Speaker 3: Like everyone hates me. I'm I'm fat, I'm not pretty. 836 00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:25,080 Speaker 3: My husband doesn't want to have sex with me. He's 837 00:39:25,120 --> 00:39:25,719 Speaker 3: cheating on me. 838 00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:28,799 Speaker 2: Like all these different vagina hurts. My vagina hurts. My 839 00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:32,200 Speaker 2: vagina is not the same, right or yeah, like you know, 840 00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:34,920 Speaker 2: like you just have all these did you tear? I 841 00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:38,200 Speaker 2: had a sea section? Oh right, I forgot. Yeah, I 842 00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:39,239 Speaker 2: don't recommend it. 843 00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:41,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a whole different thing. I mean imagine yeah, 844 00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:44,000 Speaker 4: even having a sea section. Imagine having a newborn and 845 00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:45,960 Speaker 4: then having to recover from. 846 00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:47,000 Speaker 2: A major surgery. 847 00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:50,120 Speaker 4: They like to remove your like, don't they remove your 848 00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:54,320 Speaker 4: your intestines. They're like they take everything out of your stomach, 849 00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:55,960 Speaker 4: then hit the baby out, then place it back. 850 00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:59,160 Speaker 2: That's a major surgery. So people are like, oh, I 851 00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:01,120 Speaker 2: want to schedule see section. No, bitch, you. 852 00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:05,960 Speaker 4: Don't, because you're like signing up for a newborn plus 853 00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:11,440 Speaker 4: recovering from a major surgery where they just removed your intendance. 854 00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:13,440 Speaker 2: And put them on the table. Hell no, let's just 855 00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:15,080 Speaker 2: try to push it out the canal. If we can't. 856 00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:19,040 Speaker 3: I don't know how people opt for that, like to 857 00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:22,239 Speaker 3: each his own. But because there's not there's not information, 858 00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:25,960 Speaker 3: it's on my mind like I had, like meant try 859 00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:28,960 Speaker 3: to at least mentally prepare for what birth, childbirth would 860 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:31,200 Speaker 3: be like. And I just knew I was gonna have 861 00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:34,120 Speaker 3: my child vaginally, you know what I mean, Like she 862 00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:35,680 Speaker 3: was gonna come out of there. We were gonna have 863 00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:37,279 Speaker 3: this bonding experience where she comes out. 864 00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:38,840 Speaker 2: I have this whole vision. 865 00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:41,640 Speaker 3: Quality because they have they have these videos were like 866 00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:44,840 Speaker 3: their mother would pull them out, place the baby, the 867 00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:47,360 Speaker 3: baby on their stomach. Baby like inches up to the 868 00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:50,640 Speaker 3: boh where to go. I've never seen the newborn inch 869 00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:54,239 Speaker 3: up to anywhere. It seems like like a national weldlife 870 00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:56,160 Speaker 3: so beautiful. 871 00:40:55,920 --> 00:41:01,960 Speaker 2: I've never seen a new born crawl. I really will 872 00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:04,439 Speaker 2: not crawl, but like wiggle, you know. But you know what, 873 00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:05,520 Speaker 2: And that's a good point. 874 00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:07,319 Speaker 4: Because I had this whole birth story that was going 875 00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:09,320 Speaker 4: to birth at home, just me and my baby's saddy. 876 00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:11,120 Speaker 4: I wanted to do like an unassistant hippie home birth, 877 00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:12,040 Speaker 4: which is totally insane. 878 00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:16,759 Speaker 3: But what's insane it's yeah, maybe maybe baby too. 879 00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:19,759 Speaker 4: Yeah, I would still try again, but because I had 880 00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:21,719 Speaker 4: like high blood pressure pre clamped. 881 00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:23,160 Speaker 2: Yet, I had to go to the hospital, which was 882 00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:25,160 Speaker 2: totally not in my plan. I did not want to 883 00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:25,720 Speaker 2: the hospital. 884 00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:30,120 Speaker 4: But you know what that initial welcome to motherhood was like, yeah, bitch, 885 00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:31,160 Speaker 4: you thought you had a plan. 886 00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:34,600 Speaker 2: Now you don't. It was like you used to it. 887 00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:37,600 Speaker 4: They don't plan, they don't like, let me, this is 888 00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:39,120 Speaker 4: this is how you get started from motherhood. 889 00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:40,160 Speaker 2: Bitch, fuck your plans. 890 00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:44,919 Speaker 4: So yeah, here I am not going by. 891 00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:47,520 Speaker 2: Any of those plans. Yeah, no, I guess you're right. 892 00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:48,760 Speaker 2: It's it's true. 893 00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:51,120 Speaker 3: I've learned so many lessons just like that, because I 894 00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:56,360 Speaker 3: have that initial crawling out of my room, drinking fresh 895 00:41:56,400 --> 00:42:03,480 Speaker 3: milk easily messed milk easily as just gonna on perfectly's 896 00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:07,080 Speaker 3: going to just flow out to her, Look at shining face, 897 00:42:07,239 --> 00:42:11,279 Speaker 3: blow a kids off eyeliner on right, not look like 898 00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:15,799 Speaker 3: ship me too, horrible, Oh my god. But and then 899 00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:20,160 Speaker 3: so then that didn't happen, because that doesn't happen because 900 00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:23,360 Speaker 3: I feel like I feel like had I went with 901 00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:26,200 Speaker 3: my gut, which was I wanted to give birth at home, 902 00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:29,759 Speaker 3: or at least I don't I want to give birth 903 00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:30,040 Speaker 3: at home. 904 00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:32,480 Speaker 2: But I didn't really have My doctor wasn't very being 905 00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:34,320 Speaker 2: very supportive. They're not gonny because he's not going to 906 00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:35,200 Speaker 2: make money, I know. 907 00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:38,680 Speaker 3: And I also had no friends with children or that 908 00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:40,399 Speaker 3: I've ever given birth, so I had like no one 909 00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:42,440 Speaker 3: to talk to, like except my mom. But like I 910 00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:44,640 Speaker 3: was like, a bang, mom, there are no old school 911 00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:47,080 Speaker 3: I know, so I didn't and then which I will 912 00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:48,520 Speaker 3: not old school because I wanted. 913 00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:50,120 Speaker 2: When I told her I wanted to give birth at home, 914 00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:51,120 Speaker 2: she was like, why. 915 00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:54,120 Speaker 4: No, Yeah, that's well they're old school in the sense 916 00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:55,080 Speaker 4: like their hospitals. 917 00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:55,359 Speaker 3: Yeah. 918 00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:57,560 Speaker 4: Like my grandmother was like, oh yeah, who cares, they've 919 00:42:57,560 --> 00:42:59,120 Speaker 4: been doing that. My mom was like, are you crazy? 920 00:42:59,120 --> 00:42:59,840 Speaker 4: You're gonna die. 921 00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:02,280 Speaker 2: So there's like you can see how the trend shifts. 922 00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:04,400 Speaker 4: That's a whole different episode because I'm a huge I 923 00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:06,440 Speaker 4: think I should have been a midwife. 924 00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:07,600 Speaker 2: Or still can. But I do want to. 925 00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:10,640 Speaker 4: I do want to do a topic about like the 926 00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:13,759 Speaker 4: options for you know, the type of childbirth through because 927 00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:14,320 Speaker 4: there are options. 928 00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:16,280 Speaker 3: I know, there are so many When I was researching, 929 00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:17,560 Speaker 3: I wanted to do to a water birth. 930 00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:19,759 Speaker 2: They had these water birthing centers you could go to. 931 00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:23,640 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I think it's just like I feel like 932 00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:26,720 Speaker 3: it's like one of the most It just makes sense 933 00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:28,040 Speaker 3: to be birthed into water. 934 00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:31,040 Speaker 2: You've been in water in your smooth transition and your 935 00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:34,200 Speaker 2: comfort zone. Right you think Ricky lakele covenor show. 936 00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:39,160 Speaker 3: Ricky Please, I love born. That was one of the 937 00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:41,720 Speaker 3: reasons I was convinced. I went and got a midwife. 938 00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:44,399 Speaker 3: But then he, like, you know, baby Daddy didn't really 939 00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:46,799 Speaker 3: support it. He was had that old school mentality too. 940 00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:51,160 Speaker 3: And you know, I was already kind of nervous about everything, 941 00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:54,040 Speaker 3: Like I was like the strictest like pregnant person, Like 942 00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:55,920 Speaker 3: never did I have one piece of tiny sushi? 943 00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:57,040 Speaker 2: Like really did I. 944 00:43:57,040 --> 00:43:59,160 Speaker 3: I would not eat cheese like certain cheeses, and like 945 00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:01,160 Speaker 3: I was like I need anything could happen. 946 00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:03,799 Speaker 2: You know, that is so not my personality. That's how 947 00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:04,799 Speaker 2: my personality eat. 948 00:44:04,880 --> 00:44:07,640 Speaker 4: I've been in Japan or eating sushi pregnant day, let's 949 00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:08,680 Speaker 4: go kind of farly. 950 00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:09,759 Speaker 2: It is my personality. 951 00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:12,120 Speaker 3: I didn't realize I was like that until I got 952 00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:13,920 Speaker 3: pregnant and I was like, whatever you say goes. 953 00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:16,680 Speaker 2: And so I think because of that, I just my 954 00:44:16,719 --> 00:44:18,920 Speaker 2: doctor was like, do you tell me still birthstart delivered 955 00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:19,560 Speaker 2: from home birth? 956 00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:21,960 Speaker 4: Oh my god, that's an evil fucking thing for him 957 00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:22,480 Speaker 4: to say. 958 00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:25,759 Speaker 2: So like, yeah, that's shit, Like that's the likelihood is low, 959 00:44:25,800 --> 00:44:27,960 Speaker 2: but it's there. Just do your first they'd like to 960 00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:30,719 Speaker 2: tell you the point five person first birth in the hospital, 961 00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:32,600 Speaker 2: the second birth. Once you get through it, you can 962 00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:34,799 Speaker 2: do it that way. Blah blah blah blah blah. And 963 00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:36,399 Speaker 2: then when I was a week late, she was like, Okay, 964 00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:38,600 Speaker 2: we got to induce you. Baby's getting too big. Meanwhile, 965 00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:38,920 Speaker 2: Like I. 966 00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:40,440 Speaker 3: Was just with a girlfriend last night and she told 967 00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:41,959 Speaker 3: me her friend delivered a ten pound baby. 968 00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:44,360 Speaker 2: I was like, bitch, if people go like ten days, 969 00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:47,200 Speaker 2: two weeks, after days, ever even eight pounds, like I 970 00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:50,200 Speaker 2: could have waited another week. Everybody has this is the 971 00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:50,719 Speaker 2: biggest thing. 972 00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:54,680 Speaker 4: Everybody has different pregnancies, everybody has different styles of motherhood, 973 00:44:54,719 --> 00:44:56,279 Speaker 4: everybody has different deliveries. 974 00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:58,399 Speaker 2: Like it's everybody does different shit. 975 00:44:58,760 --> 00:45:00,799 Speaker 4: And I think like if we can embraced that more 976 00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:04,000 Speaker 4: as like a village of moms and there's less judging 977 00:45:04,080 --> 00:45:06,480 Speaker 4: and less like these these standards of what it looks 978 00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:08,279 Speaker 4: like to be a good mom. People would a be 979 00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:12,560 Speaker 4: more honest and be be less fucking surprised when that 980 00:45:12,560 --> 00:45:15,400 Speaker 4: baby gets out and it's not looking like Martha. 981 00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:15,960 Speaker 2: Stewart up in here. 982 00:45:16,719 --> 00:45:19,400 Speaker 4: And you know, we could, if we could have a 983 00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:23,560 Speaker 4: real conversation about the reality of motherhood. Like it's it's beautiful, 984 00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:27,680 Speaker 4: it's wonderful, but there's a downside, not a downside, but 985 00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:28,080 Speaker 4: like you. 986 00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:31,759 Speaker 3: Know when they say it takes a fucking village girl, 987 00:45:32,239 --> 00:45:35,080 Speaker 3: Like I think back on like I think back like 988 00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:37,279 Speaker 3: when I was like living in when I was a 989 00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:41,600 Speaker 3: Native American, But you know, they had, like they had 990 00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:45,640 Speaker 3: support women of the village that like took care of 991 00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:49,399 Speaker 3: whatever child was born, like took turns, gave that mother 992 00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:52,160 Speaker 3: a break. I just feel like postpartum was probably non 993 00:45:52,160 --> 00:45:54,160 Speaker 3: existent then because everybody. 994 00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:57,360 Speaker 2: It was down to participating. It's so important. 995 00:45:57,440 --> 00:46:00,800 Speaker 3: And my point is is participation is so important, especially 996 00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:02,400 Speaker 3: if you have the part if you have a partner, 997 00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:05,720 Speaker 3: if you're with the father or the mother or whatever 998 00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:09,520 Speaker 3: whatever your sexual preferences, whatever, whoever you're with, they need 999 00:46:09,520 --> 00:46:11,600 Speaker 3: to be they need to know the ways to support 1000 00:46:11,640 --> 00:46:14,800 Speaker 3: you because it is rough out here. I don't know 1001 00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:17,080 Speaker 3: if we have any male followers, but it's very rough 1002 00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:19,719 Speaker 3: out here for us women when we give birth, even 1003 00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:22,200 Speaker 3: if we are trying and pretending like we got this, 1004 00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:24,640 Speaker 3: because you want to be able to do it all. 1005 00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:26,319 Speaker 2: I know, I'm that type of way. I don't like 1006 00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:27,600 Speaker 2: to ask for help for things. 1007 00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:30,720 Speaker 3: I want you to know, like I made this choice 1008 00:46:30,719 --> 00:46:32,759 Speaker 3: to have this baby, or I go to kill it, 1009 00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:35,160 Speaker 3: and then sometimes I don't kill it, and I'm like 1010 00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:39,240 Speaker 3: tired and I'm not doing well because I'm burning myself 1011 00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:39,800 Speaker 3: on both. 1012 00:46:39,719 --> 00:46:44,000 Speaker 4: Ends and it's like it's physically exhausting and it's mentally exhausting, 1013 00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:47,960 Speaker 4: Like there's a huge mental you know, physically your body's 1014 00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:51,680 Speaker 4: going through you've made your fucking changes, and then mentally. 1015 00:46:51,719 --> 00:46:56,680 Speaker 2: You're like it's a huge challenge too. So for spouses 1016 00:46:56,760 --> 00:46:58,640 Speaker 2: or boyfriends or girlfriends or whatever. 1017 00:46:59,280 --> 00:47:01,600 Speaker 4: Yeah, you do have Like it's important that you educate 1018 00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:04,120 Speaker 4: yourself on the signs of if your you know a 1019 00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:07,520 Speaker 4: partner is experiencing these types of things, because a it's 1020 00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:09,600 Speaker 4: good to protect the child because some people do have 1021 00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:11,560 Speaker 4: extreme cases where they want to hurt the child and 1022 00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:13,040 Speaker 4: hurt themselves. 1023 00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:15,000 Speaker 2: And you know, you need to be able to be 1024 00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:15,520 Speaker 2: aware of it. 1025 00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:19,400 Speaker 4: To support them, we did some additional research. 1026 00:47:19,719 --> 00:47:23,760 Speaker 2: Some of the symptoms were only road one two. My notes, 1027 00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:26,040 Speaker 2: this is why high school was bad for me. I 1028 00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:28,120 Speaker 2: know it's say, disconnect with the baby. 1029 00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:31,239 Speaker 4: If you feel a disconnection with your baby and you 1030 00:47:31,239 --> 00:47:35,560 Speaker 4: don't want to hold it, or you just feeling rude. 1031 00:47:35,320 --> 00:47:38,440 Speaker 3: Out the other one's Erica, Yeah, I know you feel 1032 00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:43,440 Speaker 3: disconnected from the baby. You feel like useless, tired, want 1033 00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:46,359 Speaker 3: to You're gonna be tired. You're gonna be tired. There's 1034 00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:48,000 Speaker 3: just there's no getting around it. Just because you're tired 1035 00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:50,000 Speaker 3: doesn't mean you have part of depression. 1036 00:47:50,160 --> 00:47:51,080 Speaker 2: Like that is normal. 1037 00:47:51,239 --> 00:47:53,920 Speaker 4: I feel like everybody has feels farm depression, and to 1038 00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:55,960 Speaker 4: some extent. I mean, I'm sure there's like those instant 1039 00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:58,359 Speaker 4: moms that like that hot one with all the kids 1040 00:47:58,400 --> 00:47:59,800 Speaker 4: who are still skinny. 1041 00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:03,319 Speaker 2: This is a fair stage. She looks like she never 1042 00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:04,359 Speaker 2: experienced anything like it. 1043 00:48:04,480 --> 00:48:08,200 Speaker 3: She I don't even know where her baby existed, like 1044 00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:11,799 Speaker 3: like I don't know it was. But then she has 1045 00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:14,279 Speaker 3: a beautiful, big baby and I'm like, yeah, bitch, where 1046 00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:15,320 Speaker 3: the fuck was this baby? 1047 00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:18,120 Speaker 2: And the belly some people have big ribs or like 1048 00:48:18,239 --> 00:48:20,640 Speaker 2: you looks so small. She did she looks like you. 1049 00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:22,680 Speaker 2: You guys were the same size, but even I had 1050 00:48:22,719 --> 00:48:25,640 Speaker 2: a big ass belly. That was insane because we me 1051 00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:27,040 Speaker 2: and her were pregnant at the same time. 1052 00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:30,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, and I was looking at her Instagram, I'd be like, 1053 00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:32,080 Speaker 3: I'll be over here, seventy pounds heavier, like. 1054 00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:36,200 Speaker 2: Maybe I just had my baby when I saw her. 1055 00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:38,680 Speaker 2: But even you know, at my homegirls, that's another thing. 1056 00:48:38,760 --> 00:48:42,000 Speaker 4: Me and Erica became friends, like I guess the girls 1057 00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:44,719 Speaker 4: were so small, but after we had kids, but so 1058 00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:45,319 Speaker 4: a lot of. 1059 00:48:45,239 --> 00:48:48,000 Speaker 2: My friends don't have kids or hadn't had kids yet either. 1060 00:48:48,239 --> 00:48:53,200 Speaker 4: And my girlfriend was like, why aren't you dressing cute 1061 00:48:53,200 --> 00:48:56,000 Speaker 4: when I'm pregnant. I'm gonna dressed so cute, and I'm 1062 00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:58,319 Speaker 4: dressed so cute when I'm pregnant, Like, get dress, what's 1063 00:48:58,360 --> 00:48:58,800 Speaker 4: wrong with you? 1064 00:48:58,880 --> 00:49:00,680 Speaker 2: You're not doing your hair. You look a mess. 1065 00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:03,080 Speaker 4: I wanted to say, bitch, I will beat you with 1066 00:49:03,160 --> 00:49:05,360 Speaker 4: this fucking boot, okay. 1067 00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:06,960 Speaker 2: Because you don't. 1068 00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:09,880 Speaker 4: You think it's all fun, it's fluffy and cute, and 1069 00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:12,680 Speaker 4: I'm like, I mean, I've had some cute days, like 1070 00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:16,160 Speaker 4: twice and you know, like the ones to bur bikini, 1071 00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:20,920 Speaker 4: but your body changes so quickly. 1072 00:49:20,719 --> 00:49:22,120 Speaker 2: Even me, I'm skinny, I don't. 1073 00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:23,719 Speaker 4: I mean, I've always wanted to be thicker, but I've 1074 00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:26,520 Speaker 4: never had any like major body images issues because in 1075 00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:27,399 Speaker 4: my head I think I. 1076 00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:30,800 Speaker 2: Am thick and tall. But literally, when. 1077 00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:34,600 Speaker 4: Your body starts to gain weight that rapidly, it is 1078 00:49:34,719 --> 00:49:38,319 Speaker 4: a strange ass feeling like you carry a child within 1079 00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:40,520 Speaker 4: the nine you feel like an alien, like a nine 1080 00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:43,000 Speaker 4: month span, and you just start to bulge in one 1081 00:49:43,040 --> 00:49:44,960 Speaker 4: place like you're first of all, I'm a houchie, like 1082 00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:46,800 Speaker 4: I'm number one hoochie mom of the year if you 1083 00:49:47,280 --> 00:49:49,600 Speaker 4: if you didn't know, I have self proclaimed that title. 1084 00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:52,520 Speaker 4: So none of my clothes fit and I refuse to 1085 00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:54,480 Speaker 4: buy maternity clothes. I'm like, I'm gonna be skinny, like 1086 00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:55,120 Speaker 4: in six months. 1087 00:49:55,120 --> 00:49:55,799 Speaker 2: I don't need to. 1088 00:49:55,760 --> 00:49:58,799 Speaker 4: Do this, But literally, I think I want to see 1089 00:49:58,800 --> 00:50:03,040 Speaker 4: my uncles weight like this little summer dress. He's like Jamilla, 1090 00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:04,440 Speaker 4: it looks like Nicki Minaj. 1091 00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:08,400 Speaker 2: I'm like, you shut the fuck up. Okay, this is 1092 00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:10,239 Speaker 2: all that fits. Only three more months of this ship. 1093 00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:12,120 Speaker 2: You shut the fuck up. I look good, Okay, I 1094 00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:15,880 Speaker 2: look good. I can see you. You shut the fuck 1095 00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:20,680 Speaker 2: I was pissed. COUCHI Mama, No, I've bought. I had 1096 00:50:20,719 --> 00:50:22,880 Speaker 2: to bur it buy things. But I'm not so large. 1097 00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:25,920 Speaker 3: I just lived in spandex SPANX and sweats and I 1098 00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:27,080 Speaker 3: have bun And then like. 1099 00:50:27,040 --> 00:50:29,320 Speaker 2: If I want to be cute, I'll put like see laur. 1100 00:50:29,800 --> 00:50:32,080 Speaker 4: I pour a hot stars like the African heads are 1101 00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:33,520 Speaker 4: literally for like six months. 1102 00:50:33,560 --> 00:50:35,200 Speaker 2: I'm like that you must do your hair. You have 1103 00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:37,719 Speaker 2: to because I also have this like naturalist stage. I 1104 00:50:37,719 --> 00:50:38,239 Speaker 2: shaved my. 1105 00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:40,880 Speaker 4: Head and then I let it grow back and I 1106 00:50:40,920 --> 00:50:43,160 Speaker 4: had afro and I was like, Okay, this is not 1107 00:50:43,160 --> 00:50:46,040 Speaker 4: gonna work. I'm really trying to be natural and hippie 1108 00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:47,200 Speaker 4: and like power to the people. 1109 00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:51,160 Speaker 2: And then I go to the club and I'm like, 1110 00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:53,920 Speaker 2: oh no, I'm not gonna work in la. I don't know. 1111 00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:56,200 Speaker 4: I mean, it's my insecurities and I used to my 1112 00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:57,040 Speaker 4: normal hairs. 1113 00:50:57,080 --> 00:51:00,000 Speaker 2: But yeah, I feel you. I feel you. 1114 00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:04,280 Speaker 3: Okay, back to the symptoms crying for no apparent reason. 1115 00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:08,759 Speaker 3: I definitely did that, yeah, but I thought like it 1116 00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:11,880 Speaker 3: was for like I thought that it was maybe because 1117 00:51:12,239 --> 00:51:15,400 Speaker 3: like me, like when you Another thing I don't talk 1118 00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:20,400 Speaker 3: about also is how trying it is on your relationship. 1119 00:51:20,480 --> 00:51:24,239 Speaker 3: If you're in a relationship, married, boyfriend, whatever, when you 1120 00:51:24,280 --> 00:51:24,600 Speaker 3: have a. 1121 00:51:24,600 --> 00:51:27,160 Speaker 2: Kid, like your relationship is going to change. 1122 00:51:27,160 --> 00:51:30,080 Speaker 3: It doesn't mean for the worst, but it's gonna challenge 1123 00:51:30,080 --> 00:51:33,600 Speaker 3: your relationship because suddenly it's not about each other anymore. 1124 00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:35,439 Speaker 3: You don't have time, like as a woman, I'm sure 1125 00:51:35,480 --> 00:51:37,200 Speaker 3: like you don't have time, like we were just talking about, 1126 00:51:37,239 --> 00:51:40,399 Speaker 3: like don't come near me with your dick, like, stay away, 1127 00:51:40,400 --> 00:51:42,880 Speaker 3: it's not about you. I've done enough for you. And 1128 00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:44,879 Speaker 3: they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, wha, what do you mean? 1129 00:51:45,280 --> 00:51:47,920 Speaker 3: You know, it's just like just little moments like that, 1130 00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:51,960 Speaker 3: like you've changed, and they and sometimes they can't understand 1131 00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:53,040 Speaker 3: why they don't get it. 1132 00:51:53,040 --> 00:51:55,839 Speaker 2: They're like, what's wrong? Why don't you want to you know? 1133 00:51:56,080 --> 00:51:59,560 Speaker 2: Or you're like yeah, yeah I do, and so you know, at. 1134 00:51:59,440 --> 00:52:02,439 Speaker 3: A party or and also men kind of can get 1135 00:52:02,480 --> 00:52:04,080 Speaker 3: to continue on living their life. 1136 00:52:04,160 --> 00:52:06,960 Speaker 4: Yeah, like nothing change, nothing changes for them, which I 1137 00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:08,160 Speaker 4: mean they feel don't. 1138 00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:09,080 Speaker 2: I don't want say nothing. 1139 00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:11,279 Speaker 3: I'm not trying to like devalue their feelings because a 1140 00:52:11,280 --> 00:52:12,920 Speaker 3: lot of men will be like, well, i'm working, I'm 1141 00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:15,399 Speaker 3: working double time now now I have a family to rise. 1142 00:52:15,719 --> 00:52:17,319 Speaker 2: Hopefully that's the kind of thing you're with. 1143 00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:27,960 Speaker 3: Anyway, So uh yes, huh, Okay, guys go back over there, 1144 00:52:28,040 --> 00:52:30,560 Speaker 3: go and sit on the couch and watch Pepa. Yeah 1145 00:52:33,760 --> 00:52:39,360 Speaker 3: uh so, yeah, I mean, but they they get to 1146 00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:41,600 Speaker 3: go back to work, They get to go feel a. 1147 00:52:41,640 --> 00:52:47,360 Speaker 2: Sense of flamingo floating. What's happening? I don't love what? 1148 00:52:48,760 --> 00:52:50,680 Speaker 2: Why should I trying to like? Everything? 1149 00:52:50,719 --> 00:52:50,880 Speaker 4: Is that? 1150 00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:55,319 Speaker 2: Take on a ride? I don't know. That is a 1151 00:52:55,440 --> 00:52:57,640 Speaker 2: very small flamingo floating. I think it's for a cup. 1152 00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:00,839 Speaker 2: And my daughter is sliding see the floor with it, 1153 00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:03,359 Speaker 2: she's writing it. It's very strange. 1154 00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:07,640 Speaker 3: But yes, I think men and I don't want to 1155 00:53:07,640 --> 00:53:09,960 Speaker 3: discredit the man's feeling like I was saying, because I 1156 00:53:10,040 --> 00:53:13,160 Speaker 3: know that they most good men will go and work 1157 00:53:13,239 --> 00:53:15,480 Speaker 3: extra hours because they know the baby's coming, or try 1158 00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:16,279 Speaker 3: to just figure out. 1159 00:53:16,719 --> 00:53:18,640 Speaker 2: You got to figure it out. Shit, kids aren't cheap. 1160 00:53:19,239 --> 00:53:23,400 Speaker 2: But at the same time, like you, guys get to 1161 00:53:23,440 --> 00:53:23,879 Speaker 2: go to work. 1162 00:53:23,920 --> 00:53:25,680 Speaker 3: Even going to work, you get if you're if you're 1163 00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:28,319 Speaker 3: going to work hopefully, if you have a job you like, 1164 00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:30,440 Speaker 3: you feel a sense of achievement, you feel like you're 1165 00:53:30,480 --> 00:53:33,560 Speaker 3: working towards something. You get to get out of your house, 1166 00:53:33,680 --> 00:53:36,240 Speaker 3: you get to feel like something other. 1167 00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:37,759 Speaker 2: Than a father for eight hours. 1168 00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:41,200 Speaker 3: Whereas mothers that are like living at home or at 1169 00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:44,120 Speaker 3: home off of work for the next three to four months, 1170 00:53:44,120 --> 00:53:47,920 Speaker 3: and this is their whole life. It's it's it's intense, 1171 00:53:48,160 --> 00:53:50,839 Speaker 3: like feeling like, oh my god, this is I'm a mother. 1172 00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:53,239 Speaker 2: Now that's it. I think I said only a mother. 1173 00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:55,160 Speaker 4: As soon as I started to get those feelings of 1174 00:53:55,239 --> 00:53:58,200 Speaker 4: like panicking, I remember taking learn into them all like 1175 00:53:58,280 --> 00:54:00,839 Speaker 4: sixty days old. I didn't have to get at the mall. 1176 00:54:01,200 --> 00:54:03,319 Speaker 4: I didn't need shit. I just was like, Okay, time 1177 00:54:03,400 --> 00:54:05,120 Speaker 4: to get out the house. Let's get let's get this movie. 1178 00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:07,080 Speaker 4: Let's show the baby the world. The baby just through 1179 00:54:07,080 --> 00:54:10,080 Speaker 4: the world. She's curious. I was like, I think I 1180 00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:10,759 Speaker 4: got back to work. 1181 00:54:10,960 --> 00:54:13,800 Speaker 2: I think I went back to work like two weeks later. 1182 00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:17,080 Speaker 4: I just took the baby with me because I was 1183 00:54:17,120 --> 00:54:19,480 Speaker 4: bored to death and I didn't I felt like my 1184 00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:22,879 Speaker 4: life was dwindling away, like my normalcy, and I didn't 1185 00:54:22,880 --> 00:54:25,160 Speaker 4: want to just like I've always had this fear, even 1186 00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:27,040 Speaker 4: as like a kid, I'd be like a frum by 1187 00:54:27,719 --> 00:54:31,279 Speaker 4: van driving like T shirt wearing mom, and I never 1188 00:54:31,320 --> 00:54:32,640 Speaker 4: wanted to be that, Like I want to be like 1189 00:54:33,080 --> 00:54:35,840 Speaker 4: going on the go and like still fly and hot, 1190 00:54:36,440 --> 00:54:37,000 Speaker 4: so I was. 1191 00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:39,680 Speaker 2: Just like, I think my anxiety kicked in the opposite way, 1192 00:54:39,840 --> 00:54:40,560 Speaker 2: like I didn't want to not. 1193 00:54:40,640 --> 00:54:42,520 Speaker 3: Look No, mine was the other way. Mine was the 1194 00:54:42,560 --> 00:54:44,279 Speaker 3: other way because I could. I took time off, you 1195 00:54:44,280 --> 00:54:46,160 Speaker 3: know what I mean, I had the time off. I also, 1196 00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:49,719 Speaker 3: you know, I was acting, and when I was doing 1197 00:54:49,760 --> 00:54:51,680 Speaker 3: stuff for work, like I was always on camera. So 1198 00:54:51,719 --> 00:54:52,920 Speaker 3: like I took the time off, and I was so 1199 00:54:52,960 --> 00:54:54,640 Speaker 3: happy I didn't have to be on camera. I was like, 1200 00:54:54,680 --> 00:54:56,480 Speaker 3: I cannot, you know, I don't feel comfortableing on here. 1201 00:54:56,719 --> 00:54:58,279 Speaker 3: But then I put pressure on myself like I need 1202 00:54:58,440 --> 00:55:00,000 Speaker 3: like at some point, I'm like I need to lose 1203 00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:01,279 Speaker 3: this way at that point because it's some one I 1204 00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:04,960 Speaker 3: gotta be on camera job. Yeah, I was just putting 1205 00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:09,200 Speaker 3: too much pressure on myself. Anyway, back to okay, crying 1206 00:55:09,200 --> 00:55:13,080 Speaker 3: for no parent reason. I think mood swings, which you 1207 00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:17,840 Speaker 3: know we have to experience anyway, feeling overwhelmed. Change and 1208 00:55:17,880 --> 00:55:22,279 Speaker 3: eating or sleeping, I mean that's pretty. That's pretty. I 1209 00:55:22,280 --> 00:55:25,360 Speaker 3: mean change in eating or sleeping, that's every that's just 1210 00:55:25,400 --> 00:55:26,080 Speaker 3: bound to happen. 1211 00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:28,400 Speaker 2: You're not sleeping the same ever. 1212 00:55:28,239 --> 00:55:32,360 Speaker 3: Again, No interesting your baby thoughts of hurting yourself or 1213 00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:34,839 Speaker 3: your baby that's the biggest one. 1214 00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:37,279 Speaker 4: I mean, that's the one that's I mean with that, 1215 00:55:37,360 --> 00:55:39,759 Speaker 4: if you're experiencing that, you need to recognize that that's 1216 00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:41,759 Speaker 4: what it is, and you need to ask anyone you 1217 00:55:41,760 --> 00:55:44,160 Speaker 4: can think of who you trusts, to take the baby 1218 00:55:44,239 --> 00:55:46,399 Speaker 4: and go check in somewhere and get help, because there 1219 00:55:46,440 --> 00:55:48,600 Speaker 4: is help and it does exist, and it's normal. It's 1220 00:55:48,640 --> 00:55:51,320 Speaker 4: not like you're a monster. You're not a bad person. 1221 00:55:51,920 --> 00:55:53,960 Speaker 4: It's just like the hormones are real. 1222 00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:54,719 Speaker 2: That shit is real. 1223 00:55:55,520 --> 00:55:59,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, Like feeling feelings of guilt and worthlessness, I felt 1224 00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:03,560 Speaker 3: that way. I felt feelings of guilt and worth worthlessness. 1225 00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:07,400 Speaker 4: Maybe it's a guilt stemming from I think I felt guilty. 1226 00:56:07,440 --> 00:56:10,319 Speaker 3: I felt guilty like I never felt like I was 1227 00:56:10,360 --> 00:56:12,200 Speaker 3: doing it, like I wasn't good enough, like it was 1228 00:56:12,239 --> 00:56:14,520 Speaker 3: never doing enough to be a good mother, like I 1229 00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:17,360 Speaker 3: have those feelings now. Then I felt guilty, like leaving, 1230 00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:19,759 Speaker 3: like if I ever wanted to leave, Like it's too 1231 00:56:19,760 --> 00:56:20,319 Speaker 3: early to leave. 1232 00:56:20,320 --> 00:56:22,400 Speaker 2: I'm leaving. I'm guilty, I'm not a good mom. I 1233 00:56:22,400 --> 00:56:23,160 Speaker 2: shouldn't go do this. 1234 00:56:23,239 --> 00:56:25,319 Speaker 3: I stay here all the time, like I wanted to, 1235 00:56:25,400 --> 00:56:28,520 Speaker 3: like get away. But then I also felt guilty about 1236 00:56:28,520 --> 00:56:30,840 Speaker 3: getting away That's another thing that was. 1237 00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:34,080 Speaker 4: Like those weird pressures and expectations and shit that people 1238 00:56:34,120 --> 00:56:36,680 Speaker 4: put on you, because people have all, oh you're leaving already, 1239 00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:38,319 Speaker 4: Oh you're going already, are you sure? 1240 00:56:38,360 --> 00:56:40,640 Speaker 2: Oh you want to go out? Or you're drinking. You know, 1241 00:56:40,640 --> 00:56:42,560 Speaker 2: it's like, yeah, bitch, I haven't drinking nine fucking months. 1242 00:56:42,600 --> 00:56:48,360 Speaker 2: I'm gonna kill myself. Do you think it's true? It's true. 1243 00:56:48,440 --> 00:56:50,960 Speaker 3: I mean there's so many different signs, and like I think, 1244 00:56:51,320 --> 00:56:53,000 Speaker 3: like I was saying, it's so important that if you 1245 00:56:53,040 --> 00:56:55,120 Speaker 3: have if you do have a partner, your family members, 1246 00:56:55,920 --> 00:56:58,640 Speaker 3: like if you're listening to this and maybe you're not 1247 00:56:58,760 --> 00:57:01,640 Speaker 3: a mother or or like maybe you have someone in 1248 00:57:01,680 --> 00:57:04,279 Speaker 3: your life that is going to be or is but 1249 00:57:04,400 --> 00:57:09,080 Speaker 3: maybe your wife or your sister or whatever. There's just 1250 00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:13,080 Speaker 3: different ways that you can help someone who's going through postpartum. 1251 00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:15,839 Speaker 2: I mean it sounds like I just asking are you cool? 1252 00:57:15,920 --> 00:57:18,160 Speaker 2: Like my mom kept asking like fifty million times, like 1253 00:57:18,160 --> 00:57:20,280 Speaker 2: how are you feeling? And my mom, what are you 1254 00:57:20,280 --> 00:57:22,880 Speaker 2: talking about? Now? I see what she was like trying 1255 00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:24,280 Speaker 2: to get at. But you know, sometimes you gotta be 1256 00:57:24,320 --> 00:57:24,640 Speaker 2: straight up. 1257 00:57:24,680 --> 00:57:27,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, sometimes you gotta be straight up, and then you know, 1258 00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:29,680 Speaker 3: making sure that if they do know they're in postpartum, 1259 00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:31,800 Speaker 3: letting them know that this is not their fault, because 1260 00:57:31,800 --> 00:57:34,000 Speaker 3: it's not. They can't control it. All they can do 1261 00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:37,040 Speaker 3: is try their best to make maybe take steps in 1262 00:57:37,160 --> 00:57:40,200 Speaker 3: like in a more positive way to try to get 1263 00:57:40,200 --> 00:57:42,640 Speaker 3: out of it. Yeah, it's not guaranteed to work, but 1264 00:57:43,160 --> 00:57:43,960 Speaker 3: I mean shit. 1265 00:57:44,840 --> 00:57:50,160 Speaker 4: And then we've even touched on in our research. We 1266 00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:54,840 Speaker 4: haven't discussed yet the postpartum that women who've experienced miscarriages 1267 00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:57,520 Speaker 4: are still births experience, which I can only imagine is 1268 00:57:57,560 --> 00:57:58,880 Speaker 4: on a completely different level. 1269 00:58:00,160 --> 00:58:02,640 Speaker 2: That's like something that people never talk about. Never. 1270 00:58:02,720 --> 00:58:04,720 Speaker 3: It's like you don't talk about how you feel after 1271 00:58:04,760 --> 00:58:06,640 Speaker 3: an abortion. It's like it's like it's done. 1272 00:58:06,640 --> 00:58:07,160 Speaker 2: It's done. 1273 00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:09,440 Speaker 6: Abortion was not on the list. It was a miscarriage 1274 00:58:09,560 --> 00:58:19,320 Speaker 6: or so guilty collegence. I mean, I mean the same thing. 1275 00:58:19,440 --> 00:58:22,240 Speaker 6: Though they need to add that to. 1276 00:58:22,160 --> 00:58:25,400 Speaker 4: The less because even though it's a choice, choice still hurts. 1277 00:58:25,400 --> 00:58:28,000 Speaker 3: But had to well, no, sometimes you have to get 1278 00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:30,560 Speaker 3: abortions too, Like I feel like your life is in danger, you. 1279 00:58:30,600 --> 00:58:34,240 Speaker 4: Know, like some people have like bad pregnant bag child 1280 00:58:34,240 --> 00:58:37,240 Speaker 4: burbs or whatever, you know, Like yeah, I mean, I 1281 00:58:37,240 --> 00:58:37,880 Speaker 4: mean I had an. 1282 00:58:37,840 --> 00:58:40,760 Speaker 2: Abortion in like or like you're raped or like. 1283 00:58:41,120 --> 00:58:44,280 Speaker 4: I mean, I actually met someone who was the product 1284 00:58:44,280 --> 00:58:47,120 Speaker 4: of a rape. I think it was like a Christian 1285 00:58:47,840 --> 00:58:50,480 Speaker 4: a Christian camp. She talked to us, So even that 1286 00:58:50,520 --> 00:58:52,640 Speaker 4: made me feel a certain way. So, I mean, this 1287 00:58:52,680 --> 00:58:54,600 Speaker 4: is not a conversation about pro life for poor choice, 1288 00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:58,240 Speaker 4: because obviously we're both pro choice, right Huh. 1289 00:59:00,160 --> 00:59:05,960 Speaker 2: Come on, I quit, come on, I can't go further me. Actually, 1290 00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:09,600 Speaker 2: I'm very prolific. We found horrible make America great. 1291 00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:15,120 Speaker 4: But I mean, but that is actually a good that's 1292 00:59:15,160 --> 00:59:17,360 Speaker 4: a good ad because it's true. Even though I mean, 1293 00:59:17,360 --> 00:59:19,959 Speaker 4: people take away from that, especially young girls or people 1294 00:59:20,040 --> 00:59:21,600 Speaker 4: don't want to tell their parents or whatever, because that 1295 00:59:21,680 --> 00:59:24,920 Speaker 4: was you know, that's the case. I'm damn grateful for 1296 00:59:25,360 --> 00:59:28,320 Speaker 4: the high school since you play in parenthood because I mean, yeah, 1297 00:59:28,360 --> 00:59:28,840 Speaker 4: think about it. 1298 00:59:28,920 --> 00:59:31,240 Speaker 3: Just think about a girl who's in high school who like, 1299 00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:33,600 Speaker 3: doesn't want to get an abortion, but doesn't know how 1300 00:59:33,600 --> 00:59:36,480 Speaker 3: to tell her parents, and she doesn't have any education, 1301 00:59:37,160 --> 00:59:40,000 Speaker 3: so she goes against the abortion that maybe she didn't 1302 00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:42,240 Speaker 3: have to get, you know what I mean, maybe she does, 1303 00:59:42,320 --> 00:59:44,200 Speaker 3: maybe the baby wasn't going to live a great life, 1304 00:59:44,320 --> 00:59:46,880 Speaker 3: but now she's depressed because she didn't feel like she 1305 00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:48,400 Speaker 3: had any other choice, and. 1306 00:59:48,400 --> 00:59:50,360 Speaker 4: She didn't even know that what post part of it 1307 00:59:50,480 --> 00:59:52,040 Speaker 4: is or that she's experiencing it. 1308 00:59:52,200 --> 00:59:52,720 Speaker 2: Yeah. 1309 00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:56,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, this is that a late term abortion, because miscarriages 1310 00:59:56,160 --> 00:59:58,480 Speaker 3: and abortions can happen in the same time in the 1311 00:59:58,520 --> 01:00:02,919 Speaker 3: time same time frame, I mean, you know, because I mean. 1312 01:00:02,840 --> 01:00:04,320 Speaker 2: One is farther long than the other. 1313 01:00:04,560 --> 01:00:07,520 Speaker 4: Yeah. And then like I found myself like I've been 1314 01:00:07,520 --> 01:00:11,880 Speaker 4: insensitive before, Like I know someone she's kind of young, 1315 01:00:11,960 --> 01:00:14,480 Speaker 4: so maybe that's where I'm like judging. She had like 1316 01:00:14,520 --> 01:00:20,280 Speaker 4: a miscarriaget like ten weeks and she got like the 1317 01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:24,000 Speaker 4: time tattooed on her and she's like always wants to 1318 01:00:24,080 --> 01:00:27,560 Speaker 4: like put Mother's Day, Like, well, maybe she was really 1319 01:00:27,600 --> 01:00:31,280 Speaker 4: looking forward to I know. But I'm like, okay, that 1320 01:00:31,440 --> 01:00:32,520 Speaker 4: makes me sound like a bitch. 1321 01:00:34,320 --> 01:00:36,400 Speaker 2: Well, I mean I get it, I get it. You're like, girl, 1322 01:00:36,480 --> 01:00:36,880 Speaker 2: you aren't. 1323 01:00:36,880 --> 01:00:39,120 Speaker 3: You don't need that child, You're not you It's like, 1324 01:00:39,160 --> 01:00:40,840 Speaker 3: I mean, so you're not ready for that child. 1325 01:00:40,960 --> 01:00:42,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just a bit much. But I mean, who 1326 01:00:42,880 --> 01:00:44,400 Speaker 2: am I'm never had a miscarriage. 1327 01:00:44,600 --> 01:00:48,200 Speaker 4: I mean I can understand more so like someone miscarriaging 1328 01:00:48,480 --> 01:00:51,320 Speaker 4: after four, five, six months, especially. 1329 01:00:50,920 --> 01:00:52,800 Speaker 2: Like a still birth after you've carried a child. 1330 01:00:53,120 --> 01:00:54,920 Speaker 3: You know what about the people that are like I 1331 01:00:55,080 --> 01:00:57,440 Speaker 3: been trying to get preged for a long time and 1332 01:00:57,480 --> 01:00:59,520 Speaker 3: then they do, and then they you know, it's just 1333 01:00:59,600 --> 01:01:02,280 Speaker 3: it's just there's so many different like ways either way. 1334 01:01:02,320 --> 01:01:05,360 Speaker 2: If you're pregnant once and then you're not, you can 1335 01:01:05,400 --> 01:01:06,600 Speaker 2: experience most partum. 1336 01:01:06,400 --> 01:01:13,240 Speaker 4: Because it is hard. And then there's also the notes 1337 01:01:13,600 --> 01:01:16,479 Speaker 4: and a natal depression. I just played that word today, 1338 01:01:17,240 --> 01:01:20,480 Speaker 4: which is eleven point five percent people experience, and that's 1339 01:01:20,560 --> 01:01:23,479 Speaker 4: usually within your third try master that's before you give birth, 1340 01:01:23,520 --> 01:01:24,880 Speaker 4: which I didn't even know that she existed. 1341 01:01:24,880 --> 01:01:27,120 Speaker 2: I didn't even know this word. And a natal now 1342 01:01:27,120 --> 01:01:29,240 Speaker 2: you know it, but that exists too. 1343 01:01:29,280 --> 01:01:30,760 Speaker 4: So if you're in your you know, you're getting big 1344 01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:32,800 Speaker 4: and fat and it's time about that time and you're 1345 01:01:32,800 --> 01:01:36,160 Speaker 4: feeling depressed, that's also a thing. So it's not anything 1346 01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:39,000 Speaker 4: to like maybe I had that because you saw like 1347 01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:41,320 Speaker 4: towards the end, yeah, I mean, you know what, it's 1348 01:01:41,320 --> 01:01:43,680 Speaker 4: also hard to differentiate because at the end you're so 1349 01:01:43,800 --> 01:01:45,920 Speaker 4: fat and so uncomfortable and so out of breath. 1350 01:01:46,160 --> 01:01:47,960 Speaker 2: You don't know if it's depression or you're just pissed. 1351 01:01:48,920 --> 01:01:51,480 Speaker 3: Like my friend literally right now, just text me Nishe 1352 01:01:51,640 --> 01:01:56,600 Speaker 3: shout out to nishe hang, and she just wrote, I'm waddling. Yeah, 1353 01:01:56,800 --> 01:02:00,600 Speaker 3: I think at birth in like next month, and she's literally, 1354 01:02:00,640 --> 01:02:01,280 Speaker 3: I'm waddling. 1355 01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:03,439 Speaker 2: I feel different today than I did four days ago. 1356 01:02:03,480 --> 01:02:05,680 Speaker 2: What the fuck? That's literally what she just texted me, right, 1357 01:02:05,840 --> 01:02:08,680 Speaker 2: because that shit is real. Four days can go by 1358 01:02:08,720 --> 01:02:12,120 Speaker 2: and you feel like you just grew times four. Yeah, yeah, 1359 01:02:12,200 --> 01:02:16,120 Speaker 2: it's true. It's like you just I mean, it's a bizarre, 1360 01:02:16,280 --> 01:02:19,360 Speaker 2: trippy experience. It's so bizarre. It's bizarre. 1361 01:02:19,440 --> 01:02:22,760 Speaker 4: And I would really say that the birth part was 1362 01:02:22,800 --> 01:02:26,920 Speaker 4: like the least not bizarre, like the it's not the 1363 01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:27,560 Speaker 4: least trying. 1364 01:02:27,600 --> 01:02:29,680 Speaker 2: I guess the whole thing is pretty intense. The whole 1365 01:02:29,720 --> 01:02:33,760 Speaker 2: thing is very intense. Did you, oh mae see section ocause? 1366 01:02:33,920 --> 01:02:35,720 Speaker 4: Okay, so I didn't want to have a berth in 1367 01:02:35,720 --> 01:02:38,600 Speaker 4: the hospital, but I did, and I didn't want to 1368 01:02:38,600 --> 01:02:42,000 Speaker 4: get a pre a epidural because I was on some 1369 01:02:42,080 --> 01:02:44,960 Speaker 4: hippie shit, but then two days later I did. So 1370 01:02:46,000 --> 01:02:48,080 Speaker 4: as I'm giving birth, they ask you if you wanted 1371 01:02:48,360 --> 01:02:51,480 Speaker 4: the mirror like to watch it, and I said, hell, yeah, Like, 1372 01:02:51,720 --> 01:02:52,840 Speaker 4: I don't know how manyime I'm gonna do this. 1373 01:02:52,840 --> 01:02:54,160 Speaker 2: I'm about to I want to see this shit. 1374 01:02:54,680 --> 01:02:56,560 Speaker 4: And literally in my birth video you can hear me 1375 01:02:56,600 --> 01:02:58,880 Speaker 4: say her head comes out. I said, oh my god, 1376 01:02:59,680 --> 01:03:02,520 Speaker 4: Oh my god, this is crazy. 1377 01:03:03,360 --> 01:03:06,720 Speaker 2: And I said, oh my god, this is crazy. It 1378 01:03:06,800 --> 01:03:09,080 Speaker 2: is crazy. It looks like I feel like I was 1379 01:03:09,080 --> 01:03:09,880 Speaker 2: in the movie Alien. 1380 01:03:10,200 --> 01:03:12,040 Speaker 3: I was so dragged down and see anything. I'm so 1381 01:03:12,120 --> 01:03:14,080 Speaker 3: jealous that you got to see that girl. I was 1382 01:03:14,240 --> 01:03:16,920 Speaker 3: a little uh whatever the back one, but I was 1383 01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:18,760 Speaker 3: fully aware to see that baby pop out of that 1384 01:03:18,800 --> 01:03:23,080 Speaker 3: koushi and I was like, this looks insane, dude. 1385 01:03:23,080 --> 01:03:24,960 Speaker 4: I mean it's cool to think of, like where the 1386 01:03:25,080 --> 01:03:27,800 Speaker 4: where the portal, Like we are the closet bert trap. 1387 01:03:27,800 --> 01:03:29,840 Speaker 2: Earth is the closest thing you'll ever get to the Maker, 1388 01:03:29,920 --> 01:03:31,560 Speaker 2: whoever you believe in, whatever you believe is on the 1389 01:03:31,560 --> 01:03:32,200 Speaker 2: other side. 1390 01:03:32,280 --> 01:03:35,400 Speaker 4: We literally become the portal for the he the Heaven's 1391 01:03:35,440 --> 01:03:38,480 Speaker 4: gate to Earth. So it is like I always think 1392 01:03:38,480 --> 01:03:41,120 Speaker 4: of it as a rite of passage too, Like it's 1393 01:03:41,120 --> 01:03:43,560 Speaker 4: a it's an intense experience, but once you get over 1394 01:03:43,640 --> 01:03:46,360 Speaker 4: the hump and the transition, you know there's light at 1395 01:03:46,360 --> 01:03:47,200 Speaker 4: the end of the tunnel. 1396 01:03:47,960 --> 01:03:50,720 Speaker 2: There is there's you know, there's a few ways I 1397 01:03:50,800 --> 01:03:53,000 Speaker 2: think that. I mean, I know helped me get out 1398 01:03:53,040 --> 01:04:11,920 Speaker 2: of Sorry, let me tell that Peter's thoughts to die. 1399 01:04:07,520 --> 01:04:09,240 Speaker 3: There is I mean, I know there's been a few 1400 01:04:09,280 --> 01:04:12,880 Speaker 3: ways that really helped me get out of my postpartum depression. 1401 01:04:13,840 --> 01:04:16,440 Speaker 3: I kind of just one day I lived in the 1402 01:04:16,480 --> 01:04:19,160 Speaker 3: mirror and I was just like, I am so tired. 1403 01:04:18,920 --> 01:04:19,680 Speaker 2: Of feeling like this. 1404 01:04:20,040 --> 01:04:23,160 Speaker 3: Like it's like it's like I hit my my breaking point, 1405 01:04:23,880 --> 01:04:27,680 Speaker 3: and I was like I just had to remember, like 1406 01:04:27,880 --> 01:04:31,160 Speaker 3: how who I was before this, and that's and I'm 1407 01:04:31,200 --> 01:04:32,080 Speaker 3: still that person. 1408 01:04:32,720 --> 01:04:34,800 Speaker 2: And it's like you start feeling like no, you're not. No, 1409 01:04:34,840 --> 01:04:36,480 Speaker 2: you're not you don't look say or you're not allowed 1410 01:04:36,560 --> 01:04:37,160 Speaker 2: to be that person. 1411 01:04:37,360 --> 01:04:39,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, you're you're not allowed to be. Like I can't 1412 01:04:39,040 --> 01:04:41,360 Speaker 3: do I can't. I can't do this, I can't do that. 1413 01:04:41,360 --> 01:04:43,000 Speaker 3: I can't smoke weed, I can't go get drunk, I 1414 01:04:43,040 --> 01:04:45,560 Speaker 3: can't look at me, I can't party, I can't travel, 1415 01:04:45,720 --> 01:04:46,600 Speaker 3: I can't, I can't. 1416 01:04:46,600 --> 01:04:49,040 Speaker 2: There's so many fucking I can't. But that doesn't exist. 1417 01:04:49,080 --> 01:04:51,080 Speaker 2: That's bullshit. No, it really doesn't exist. 1418 01:04:51,320 --> 01:04:52,880 Speaker 4: It's in your head and it's in everybody else's head. 1419 01:04:52,920 --> 01:04:54,320 Speaker 4: And anyone who thinks that flocked. 1420 01:04:54,080 --> 01:04:58,240 Speaker 2: Them seriously fuck them. It's everything you can you can't, okay. 1421 01:04:58,320 --> 01:05:00,920 Speaker 3: And one of the first thing that really helped me 1422 01:05:01,000 --> 01:05:02,920 Speaker 3: get out of it was working out. I know it 1423 01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:05,800 Speaker 3: sounds so taboo like it sounds like, oh yeah, of 1424 01:05:05,840 --> 01:05:09,200 Speaker 3: course working out, but like, seriously, you have got to 1425 01:05:09,240 --> 01:05:10,720 Speaker 3: get out of your house. And it doesn't mean you 1426 01:05:10,760 --> 01:05:12,680 Speaker 3: have to go like run a mile, like just start 1427 01:05:12,720 --> 01:05:16,120 Speaker 3: with the walk around the block, you know, like even 1428 01:05:16,160 --> 01:05:19,040 Speaker 3: if I'm with your stroller or like maybe you need 1429 01:05:19,080 --> 01:05:23,240 Speaker 3: to like be like love, husband, wife, grandma, I need 1430 01:05:23,280 --> 01:05:25,959 Speaker 3: an hour today. Don't be afraid to ask for help, 1431 01:05:25,960 --> 01:05:28,120 Speaker 3: because sometimes I'd be like I need an hour or anything. 1432 01:05:28,760 --> 01:05:31,000 Speaker 2: Demand it. Yeah, I need. 1433 01:05:30,880 --> 01:05:33,160 Speaker 3: Help, and you need don't be afraid to ask for help. 1434 01:05:33,200 --> 01:05:36,800 Speaker 3: Don't try to do everything on your own. And then 1435 01:05:37,120 --> 01:05:40,080 Speaker 3: meditation helped me. And I'm like, I'm like the fake 1436 01:05:40,160 --> 01:05:42,240 Speaker 3: hippie over here. It looks more hippie than me, but 1437 01:05:42,920 --> 01:05:45,360 Speaker 3: I do do I really do meditate. I try to 1438 01:05:45,360 --> 01:05:47,960 Speaker 3: meditate every day I get I skip, like I'll. 1439 01:05:47,800 --> 01:05:50,800 Speaker 2: Go in silence or you have like a thing. 1440 01:05:52,560 --> 01:05:55,520 Speaker 3: I do and I like guided meditations, yeah, because I'm 1441 01:05:56,120 --> 01:05:57,560 Speaker 3: That's what I was gonna ask you. So I like 1442 01:05:57,720 --> 01:06:00,960 Speaker 3: the app headspace, I really like a lot. Oh, it's 1443 01:06:01,040 --> 01:06:04,640 Speaker 3: really good. Headspace is good. Sometimes I put on YouTube videos. 1444 01:06:05,080 --> 01:06:07,040 Speaker 3: Sometimes if I go on a hike, I'll just take a. 1445 01:06:07,000 --> 01:06:09,800 Speaker 2: Second and just sit, not too long so I don't 1446 01:06:09,800 --> 01:06:13,560 Speaker 2: fall asleep. You can fall asleep on a hike if 1447 01:06:13,600 --> 01:06:14,200 Speaker 2: I'm comfy. 1448 01:06:16,760 --> 01:06:18,840 Speaker 4: Sometimes I like to do Nomino home rang gyey kyo, 1449 01:06:18,920 --> 01:06:21,440 Speaker 4: nommeo ho rang ye kyos because then I remember to 1450 01:06:21,600 --> 01:06:23,720 Speaker 4: like be mindful and not fall asleep. 1451 01:06:25,000 --> 01:06:27,280 Speaker 2: Yoga helped me because. 1452 01:06:29,000 --> 01:06:31,240 Speaker 3: I was doing hot yoga, so I was like working 1453 01:06:31,280 --> 01:06:34,200 Speaker 3: out intensely sweating, so I felt like it was so 1454 01:06:34,320 --> 01:06:37,040 Speaker 3: uncomfortable that my brain I literally couldn't think of anything 1455 01:06:37,040 --> 01:06:40,000 Speaker 3: because when I was in my depression, I was just 1456 01:06:40,000 --> 01:06:42,680 Speaker 3: always had anxiety, always thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking that what 1457 01:06:42,720 --> 01:06:43,160 Speaker 3: was my future? 1458 01:06:43,200 --> 01:06:43,680 Speaker 2: What's my future? 1459 01:06:44,400 --> 01:06:47,520 Speaker 3: Did I do Launce? I make enough milk for her 1460 01:06:47,640 --> 01:06:48,880 Speaker 3: for me to go be here right now? 1461 01:06:48,880 --> 01:06:49,160 Speaker 2: Did I? 1462 01:06:49,400 --> 01:06:49,640 Speaker 4: You know? 1463 01:06:50,080 --> 01:06:52,480 Speaker 2: And so it kind of shut that down for me. 1464 01:06:52,520 --> 01:06:54,240 Speaker 3: And I was also like working on a losing weight 1465 01:06:54,240 --> 01:06:56,400 Speaker 3: at the same time, so I saw results. I was like, 1466 01:06:56,600 --> 01:06:58,240 Speaker 3: I saw results mentally and physically. 1467 01:06:58,400 --> 01:06:59,560 Speaker 2: Yoga is a big deal. 1468 01:06:59,760 --> 01:07:01,600 Speaker 4: I didn't realize what a big deal it was until 1469 01:07:01,880 --> 01:07:04,720 Speaker 4: like right after I got out of my relationship, I 1470 01:07:04,760 --> 01:07:06,560 Speaker 4: went I started to do yoga a little bit, and 1471 01:07:06,760 --> 01:07:08,960 Speaker 4: I went to yoga class and I've got into a 1472 01:07:09,000 --> 01:07:12,440 Speaker 4: stretch and literally I just started to cry, and I'm like, 1473 01:07:12,680 --> 01:07:13,280 Speaker 4: this is weird. 1474 01:07:13,280 --> 01:07:14,920 Speaker 2: I'm not even like a cry baby type bitch. 1475 01:07:15,360 --> 01:07:17,720 Speaker 4: So but later yoga check it told me she's like 1476 01:07:17,760 --> 01:07:19,880 Speaker 4: she she stretched one way and she was like, I 1477 01:07:20,000 --> 01:07:21,280 Speaker 4: was just laughing hysterically. 1478 01:07:21,280 --> 01:07:21,800 Speaker 2: I didn't know why. 1479 01:07:21,840 --> 01:07:23,720 Speaker 4: And then I stretched the other leg a certain way 1480 01:07:24,160 --> 01:07:26,320 Speaker 4: and I just start to ball out of control. And 1481 01:07:26,360 --> 01:07:29,160 Speaker 4: she's like telling us how different stretches of different places 1482 01:07:29,160 --> 01:07:31,040 Speaker 4: in your body physically can. 1483 01:07:30,920 --> 01:07:34,880 Speaker 2: Hold different emotions. So I mean, you know our physical selves. 1484 01:07:34,880 --> 01:07:39,800 Speaker 4: That really that yoga does intertwine with the meditative spiritual 1485 01:07:40,080 --> 01:07:40,720 Speaker 4: growth too. 1486 01:07:40,800 --> 01:07:41,400 Speaker 2: That's a good. 1487 01:07:41,280 --> 01:07:45,320 Speaker 3: One that And Okay, so if your if your postpartum 1488 01:07:45,400 --> 01:07:48,880 Speaker 3: is really bad, I mean any type of postpartum, if 1489 01:07:48,920 --> 01:07:52,919 Speaker 3: you can go seek help, go talk to someone about it. 1490 01:07:52,960 --> 01:07:56,800 Speaker 3: Because I didn't realize I had postpartum until I go 1491 01:07:56,840 --> 01:07:59,160 Speaker 3: to therapy, and so like, I didn't realize I had 1492 01:07:59,160 --> 01:08:02,360 Speaker 3: postpartum until I was in therapy. She told you, she 1493 01:08:02,400 --> 01:08:03,800 Speaker 3: didn't even tell me. I was like, I came to 1494 01:08:03,840 --> 01:08:07,720 Speaker 3: the realization myself really, and I was like, what. And 1495 01:08:07,760 --> 01:08:10,280 Speaker 3: same with my one of my friends, who's who is 1496 01:08:10,320 --> 01:08:14,040 Speaker 3: even currently right now battling postpartum and much more severely 1497 01:08:14,080 --> 01:08:16,559 Speaker 3: than I did. She said she didn't realize she was 1498 01:08:16,560 --> 01:08:18,360 Speaker 3: in postpartum either, and then she but she was like, 1499 01:08:18,439 --> 01:08:19,960 Speaker 3: I know these thoughts are not normal. 1500 01:08:20,000 --> 01:08:21,120 Speaker 2: I need to go see someone. 1501 01:08:21,240 --> 01:08:24,479 Speaker 3: And she was diagnosed with it, So don't feel ashamed 1502 01:08:24,479 --> 01:08:27,280 Speaker 3: about talking about it with people. You need to talk 1503 01:08:27,320 --> 01:08:29,640 Speaker 3: to your partner about it. You need she needs to 1504 01:08:30,080 --> 01:08:34,080 Speaker 3: educate themselves. You know, they need to be reliable. They 1505 01:08:34,120 --> 01:08:36,320 Speaker 3: need to be reliable for you during that time. Like 1506 01:08:36,360 --> 01:08:38,320 Speaker 3: if you are dealing with someone who has postpartum, it 1507 01:08:38,400 --> 01:08:40,360 Speaker 3: is so important that you're reliable for them. If you 1508 01:08:40,360 --> 01:08:43,120 Speaker 3: say you're gonna be home at seven, be home at seven, yeah, 1509 01:08:43,160 --> 01:08:44,679 Speaker 3: please don't be home at ten. 1510 01:08:45,040 --> 01:08:45,240 Speaker 2: No. 1511 01:08:45,400 --> 01:08:47,439 Speaker 3: And that's not just some like woman like needy shit, 1512 01:08:47,560 --> 01:08:49,200 Speaker 3: that's like real, like we need a break. 1513 01:08:49,280 --> 01:08:54,240 Speaker 4: Yeah, and guys or whoever like, don't I've seen my 1514 01:08:54,240 --> 01:08:57,960 Speaker 4: friends do this or people like don't don't like cop 1515 01:08:58,000 --> 01:09:00,760 Speaker 4: out with the you're the mom, but you're the mom, 1516 01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:02,360 Speaker 4: but you're I've heard that. 1517 01:09:02,400 --> 01:09:04,479 Speaker 2: She's so many times I'm like, and I'm gonna kill you. 1518 01:09:05,240 --> 01:09:06,720 Speaker 2: I'm the mom that was on snapped. 1519 01:09:06,439 --> 01:09:10,680 Speaker 3: And you didn't mind making me a mom, right, so help? Yeah, 1520 01:09:10,800 --> 01:09:13,840 Speaker 3: And and try to just just help out do things 1521 01:09:13,840 --> 01:09:17,000 Speaker 3: without her asking. That's damn near impossible. I know that this, 1522 01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:20,120 Speaker 3: this this tip is damn near impossible for y'all. Okay, 1523 01:09:20,760 --> 01:09:24,720 Speaker 3: Like for those that are self aware, try to do 1524 01:09:24,840 --> 01:09:27,360 Speaker 3: some housework, anything to make her life a little bit 1525 01:09:27,400 --> 01:09:29,000 Speaker 3: easier without her having to ask. 1526 01:09:29,680 --> 01:09:31,120 Speaker 2: She needs to feel appreciated. 1527 01:09:31,200 --> 01:09:33,320 Speaker 4: Like if you're just chilling on the couch and she's 1528 01:09:33,320 --> 01:09:36,479 Speaker 4: trying to get dressed, get the baby, right, if you 1529 01:09:36,479 --> 01:09:40,600 Speaker 4: can assist in getting the baby dressed, do that, because. 1530 01:09:40,320 --> 01:09:41,000 Speaker 2: You know what I'll say. 1531 01:09:41,040 --> 01:09:43,599 Speaker 4: Also, I feel like, no matter how much your partner helps, 1532 01:09:44,680 --> 01:09:47,240 Speaker 4: you're gonna you're gonna still feel like, oh fuck, everything's 1533 01:09:47,240 --> 01:09:47,479 Speaker 4: on me. 1534 01:09:47,520 --> 01:09:49,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, you're still gonna resent them a little bit. That's 1535 01:09:49,360 --> 01:09:52,160 Speaker 2: normal because that's let's be real, that's mom. That's like 1536 01:09:52,200 --> 01:09:53,280 Speaker 2: the part of the role. 1537 01:09:53,120 --> 01:09:56,480 Speaker 3: Of the mone We have a bigger role initially, and 1538 01:09:56,560 --> 01:09:58,000 Speaker 3: sometimes we resent them for that. 1539 01:09:58,200 --> 01:09:59,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's just the way of the world. Like 1540 01:10:00,000 --> 01:10:02,320 Speaker 2: they don't have breast milk, Yeah, it's not there. They 1541 01:10:02,320 --> 01:10:04,720 Speaker 2: can't hate them for it. Yes, I do. 1542 01:10:05,439 --> 01:10:08,920 Speaker 4: Another thing I experienced, which I don't think is necessarily depression, 1543 01:10:09,040 --> 01:10:12,200 Speaker 4: But this is just for people who are just having kids. 1544 01:10:12,640 --> 01:10:13,960 Speaker 2: Did you experience like I. 1545 01:10:13,880 --> 01:10:16,360 Speaker 4: Would have really off the wall thoughts like oh my god, 1546 01:10:16,360 --> 01:10:18,640 Speaker 4: what if she falls down, rolls off the cliff, Like 1547 01:10:18,680 --> 01:10:21,280 Speaker 4: I would think of really extreme situations like oh my god, 1548 01:10:21,280 --> 01:10:22,240 Speaker 4: what if that falls. 1549 01:10:21,960 --> 01:10:23,920 Speaker 2: On her head? Like I would just think of super 1550 01:10:24,160 --> 01:10:25,880 Speaker 2: and I and my friend had to tell me she 1551 01:10:25,880 --> 01:10:28,120 Speaker 2: has three kids, and she was like, no, that's normal. 1552 01:10:28,160 --> 01:10:30,479 Speaker 4: But that's your body training you to be prepared, prepared 1553 01:10:30,520 --> 01:10:31,120 Speaker 4: for anything. 1554 01:10:31,200 --> 01:10:34,040 Speaker 2: It's not weird. You're not having that Mama Bear's like, 1555 01:10:34,040 --> 01:10:35,080 Speaker 2: you're not having dark thoughts. 1556 01:10:35,120 --> 01:10:37,680 Speaker 4: You're just thinking of all the possibilities, which is that's 1557 01:10:37,840 --> 01:10:38,920 Speaker 4: that's normal as a mom. 1558 01:10:39,080 --> 01:10:40,960 Speaker 2: Like Okay, get down, because I no, I'm not saying 1559 01:10:41,000 --> 01:10:42,960 Speaker 2: them get down. I say because you. 1560 01:10:42,920 --> 01:10:44,880 Speaker 4: Know, you're just like your brain is beginning to train 1561 01:10:45,080 --> 01:10:48,040 Speaker 4: to basically have your ears and eyes open in a 1562 01:10:48,040 --> 01:10:49,479 Speaker 4: fifty mile radius at all times. 1563 01:10:49,720 --> 01:10:52,599 Speaker 2: Right, No, for sure, for sure? 1564 01:10:52,760 --> 01:10:57,320 Speaker 3: And I think also making sure you get her out 1565 01:10:58,040 --> 01:10:59,519 Speaker 3: date night once a. 1566 01:10:59,439 --> 01:11:02,080 Speaker 2: Week, want to get cute, get a sitter, whatever you 1567 01:11:02,080 --> 01:11:03,600 Speaker 2: got to do. You can do once a week. It 1568 01:11:03,640 --> 01:11:05,559 Speaker 2: doesn't have to you don't have to spend money. 1569 01:11:05,560 --> 01:11:10,000 Speaker 3: You just go on a walk together, like seriously, like 1570 01:11:10,720 --> 01:11:13,240 Speaker 3: anything to make But you know, taking her out. 1571 01:11:13,120 --> 01:11:15,400 Speaker 2: On a date was always ideal. I mean if your. 1572 01:11:18,920 --> 01:11:21,720 Speaker 3: Because I want to like ideally take her somewhere where 1573 01:11:21,760 --> 01:11:25,439 Speaker 3: she needs to get dressed so she can get out. 1574 01:11:25,320 --> 01:11:27,240 Speaker 2: Of Mommy's an event she needs to. 1575 01:11:27,160 --> 01:11:30,320 Speaker 3: Get out of mommy from led her to you're taking 1576 01:11:30,320 --> 01:11:32,400 Speaker 3: her somewhere nice. You would have to spend that coin 1577 01:11:32,479 --> 01:11:34,519 Speaker 3: that day, so you're gonna have to save all week, 1578 01:11:34,800 --> 01:11:35,559 Speaker 3: but trust me. 1579 01:11:35,840 --> 01:11:38,719 Speaker 4: It's worth it for the headache that you'll be resolved 1580 01:11:38,720 --> 01:11:39,680 Speaker 4: from exactly. 1581 01:11:39,960 --> 01:11:43,000 Speaker 3: So I just think like that, and then also being 1582 01:11:43,040 --> 01:11:46,080 Speaker 3: patient with her sex drive because I think a lot's 1583 01:11:46,120 --> 01:11:46,920 Speaker 3: a lot of pressure too. 1584 01:11:46,960 --> 01:11:48,640 Speaker 2: We just gave a birth and now you want to 1585 01:11:48,680 --> 01:11:52,840 Speaker 2: put hormones affect that too. Yeah, Like I wasn't horning 1586 01:11:52,920 --> 01:11:55,639 Speaker 2: it all during pregnans me neither at all. 1587 01:11:55,760 --> 01:11:59,360 Speaker 4: Like all I was like the most yeasty I've ever 1588 01:11:59,439 --> 01:12:01,320 Speaker 4: been in my life, and I wanted to kill myself 1589 01:12:01,960 --> 01:12:03,760 Speaker 4: and I didn't want a dick to be anywhere close 1590 01:12:03,800 --> 01:12:06,200 Speaker 4: to like get that ship out of my face. So 1591 01:12:06,320 --> 01:12:09,360 Speaker 4: like slowly after it came back. But yeah, yeah, be patient, 1592 01:12:09,439 --> 01:12:11,920 Speaker 4: I know. And you know, look, Pamela goes a long way, fellas. 1593 01:12:11,920 --> 01:12:13,439 Speaker 4: I know you guys do it all day anyway, what 1594 01:12:13,520 --> 01:12:14,000 Speaker 4: does it. 1595 01:12:13,920 --> 01:12:19,360 Speaker 3: Pamela, Pamela, Oh, Papa. 1596 01:12:19,840 --> 01:12:24,280 Speaker 2: I was like, palm oil. Who's that a new masturbation oil? Organic? 1597 01:12:24,560 --> 01:12:30,679 Speaker 2: Like jacking off? Oh yeah yeah. Just and and one more. 1598 01:12:30,600 --> 01:12:36,120 Speaker 4: Last advice for moms. I think in general, you know, 1599 01:12:36,400 --> 01:12:39,839 Speaker 4: like you just have to relax, like chill out. Baby's 1600 01:12:39,880 --> 01:12:43,320 Speaker 4: gonna be babies, babies are gonna cry. Don't take everybody's 1601 01:12:43,360 --> 01:12:45,880 Speaker 4: advice so literally, like if you listen to everybody, you'll 1602 01:12:45,880 --> 01:12:48,680 Speaker 4: stress yourself the fuck out. Stay in tune with yourself, 1603 01:12:48,840 --> 01:12:51,759 Speaker 4: like do what the fuck you want to do. Connect 1604 01:12:51,800 --> 01:12:53,519 Speaker 4: with who you used to be because you're still that person. 1605 01:12:53,600 --> 01:12:56,439 Speaker 4: You don't have to transform into this new woman. And 1606 01:12:56,600 --> 01:12:59,200 Speaker 4: just don't like helicopter kid your kid all the time. 1607 01:12:59,280 --> 01:13:02,280 Speaker 2: Like people sho developed that habit after baby too. 1608 01:13:02,800 --> 01:13:05,360 Speaker 4: But I'm like super chillaxed because even my friends, I'm like, girl, 1609 01:13:05,439 --> 01:13:07,280 Speaker 4: let her live, she's fine. 1610 01:13:07,400 --> 01:13:09,720 Speaker 2: Is she killing anyone? She's fine? You know. 1611 01:13:09,760 --> 01:13:11,599 Speaker 4: And I think some people have like all these pressures 1612 01:13:11,600 --> 01:13:13,320 Speaker 4: from like how they're supposed to mom or what their 1613 01:13:13,360 --> 01:13:15,680 Speaker 4: their kids are supposed to do and their kids are 1614 01:13:15,680 --> 01:13:18,120 Speaker 4: supposed to behave and like the kids are kids, their children, 1615 01:13:18,160 --> 01:13:20,800 Speaker 4: they're learning, and it's okay to like allow them to 1616 01:13:20,840 --> 01:13:21,200 Speaker 4: do that. 1617 01:13:21,240 --> 01:13:24,080 Speaker 2: So don't feel like you have to like be a 1618 01:13:24,080 --> 01:13:24,919 Speaker 2: certain way. 1619 01:13:25,120 --> 01:13:28,559 Speaker 3: No, you don't, you really don't. I fell into that, 1620 01:13:28,720 --> 01:13:30,240 Speaker 3: I feel like, and it took me a while. I 1621 01:13:30,240 --> 01:13:32,400 Speaker 3: don't even know why I fell into it. It's like 1622 01:13:32,720 --> 01:13:36,120 Speaker 3: this wasn't anyone's fault except my own, but I just 1623 01:13:36,160 --> 01:13:39,479 Speaker 3: felt like, no, I can't do this anymore. I can't 1624 01:13:39,479 --> 01:13:40,160 Speaker 3: do that anymore. 1625 01:13:40,200 --> 01:13:41,920 Speaker 2: It took me a while to like, can I wear 1626 01:13:41,960 --> 01:13:44,120 Speaker 2: this on somebody's mom? No, but she if I can 1627 01:13:44,160 --> 01:13:46,080 Speaker 2: fit it, I can wear. It wasn't the clothes. It 1628 01:13:46,120 --> 01:13:47,240 Speaker 2: was more like what I could. 1629 01:13:47,080 --> 01:13:50,400 Speaker 3: Do socially, Yeah, yeah, Like I can't be out here, 1630 01:13:50,560 --> 01:13:51,000 Speaker 3: like I'm not. 1631 01:13:51,120 --> 01:13:53,720 Speaker 2: I can't. I can't get high. I'm tired already, and 1632 01:13:53,840 --> 01:13:55,559 Speaker 2: plus like what do I look like being high? 1633 01:13:55,680 --> 01:13:55,840 Speaker 3: Right? 1634 01:13:55,800 --> 01:14:00,160 Speaker 2: And like also like the father and my child's. 1635 01:14:00,320 --> 01:14:02,640 Speaker 3: Non stop and I would be so annoyed when I 1636 01:14:02,680 --> 01:14:04,920 Speaker 3: was pregnant and he would be smoking all the time, 1637 01:14:04,960 --> 01:14:06,679 Speaker 3: and I'd be like, oh, so you can just smoke 1638 01:14:06,760 --> 01:14:07,320 Speaker 3: all the time. 1639 01:14:07,439 --> 01:14:08,960 Speaker 2: Then yeah, like you're not supposed to. 1640 01:14:09,040 --> 01:14:10,639 Speaker 3: Then it became like you're not supposed to stow because 1641 01:14:10,680 --> 01:14:12,520 Speaker 3: you're gonna be a dad too, you better figure. 1642 01:14:12,240 --> 01:14:14,599 Speaker 2: Out not to be sober like me. Well, no, when 1643 01:14:14,600 --> 01:14:15,679 Speaker 2: I said this, if I'm. 1644 01:14:15,520 --> 01:14:19,600 Speaker 4: Pregnant, motherfucker, so are you pretend right support me? I 1645 01:14:19,600 --> 01:14:22,839 Speaker 4: mean I smoked a little bit throughout my pregnancy, Lonuza 1646 01:14:22,880 --> 01:14:23,599 Speaker 4: gones your baby. 1647 01:14:23,680 --> 01:14:26,400 Speaker 2: I wasn't cheafing every fucking five second. I smoked. I 1648 01:14:26,800 --> 01:14:28,840 Speaker 2: tried to smoke, but honestly, I just didn't even want it. 1649 01:14:29,320 --> 01:14:31,799 Speaker 3: I smoked a few times, like a few little puffs, 1650 01:14:31,800 --> 01:14:34,200 Speaker 3: and I was like, oh, same with drinking, like I 1651 01:14:34,200 --> 01:14:36,240 Speaker 3: didn't even want I did want a margarita, which I 1652 01:14:36,240 --> 01:14:36,680 Speaker 3: didn't have. 1653 01:14:36,760 --> 01:14:39,760 Speaker 2: Guys, don't worry, which would have been fine if I didn't, 1654 01:14:40,040 --> 01:14:44,000 Speaker 2: if you do, like, no, I did it, but I didn't. 1655 01:14:44,040 --> 01:14:47,120 Speaker 2: But that's that's also placed into my whole thing that 1656 01:14:47,200 --> 01:14:49,040 Speaker 2: I was very like I was buried by the book 1657 01:14:49,080 --> 01:14:53,120 Speaker 2: during my pant I ate sushi. I ate chese cold cuts. 1658 01:14:53,240 --> 01:14:55,320 Speaker 2: I'm just kidding any cold cuts, but you know you 1659 01:14:55,360 --> 01:14:57,759 Speaker 2: made sushi. I didn't eat those cold cuts, but sushi 1660 01:14:57,840 --> 01:15:01,200 Speaker 2: raw sushi. I banged out some sushi. 1661 01:15:01,240 --> 01:15:03,599 Speaker 4: I didn't think about it twice because I thought women 1662 01:15:03,640 --> 01:15:06,679 Speaker 4: in Japan are eating pregnant sushi, you know, And it's. 1663 01:15:06,560 --> 01:15:08,680 Speaker 2: Not about that, I think more so as America and 1664 01:15:08,680 --> 01:15:10,439 Speaker 2: our food is Probably it was a mercury. I mean 1665 01:15:10,479 --> 01:15:12,040 Speaker 2: that it's fine. So yeah's she. 1666 01:15:12,040 --> 01:15:14,639 Speaker 4: Does like shrimp way too much for a three year old. 1667 01:15:15,040 --> 01:15:17,080 Speaker 4: She thinks that's the only dish that exists, So that's 1668 01:15:17,080 --> 01:15:17,800 Speaker 4: probably my fault. 1669 01:15:17,880 --> 01:15:21,920 Speaker 3: But oh my god, well, I don't know if I 1670 01:15:21,960 --> 01:15:24,240 Speaker 3: have anything else to contribute to this conversation. 1671 01:15:24,320 --> 01:15:27,639 Speaker 2: I mean, and this conversation can keep going forever, and 1672 01:15:27,760 --> 01:15:28,160 Speaker 2: this is. 1673 01:15:28,560 --> 01:15:30,200 Speaker 3: This is like the tip of the iceberg when it 1674 01:15:30,200 --> 01:15:32,400 Speaker 3: comes to it, because there's so many different aspects of 1675 01:15:32,439 --> 01:15:34,560 Speaker 3: postpartum depression, like we talked about. 1676 01:15:35,479 --> 01:15:37,600 Speaker 2: But I hope that we were like somewhat informative. 1677 01:15:38,120 --> 01:15:41,320 Speaker 4: And I mean, if not informative, at least like if 1678 01:15:41,320 --> 01:15:43,920 Speaker 4: you are experiencing this about to experience it or have 1679 01:15:44,200 --> 01:15:46,400 Speaker 4: at least you don't feel crazy, because I know I 1680 01:15:46,439 --> 01:15:47,280 Speaker 4: was feeling crazy. 1681 01:15:47,520 --> 01:15:49,479 Speaker 2: Yeah, but you know, there's other real as. 1682 01:15:49,600 --> 01:15:52,360 Speaker 4: Women out here just like you that are experiencing the 1683 01:15:52,360 --> 01:15:53,839 Speaker 4: same thing, so you're not alone. 1684 01:15:54,160 --> 01:15:56,439 Speaker 2: And if you do experience these things. 1685 01:15:56,520 --> 01:15:59,120 Speaker 4: It's okay to call a friend or get some help, 1686 01:15:59,240 --> 01:16:01,000 Speaker 4: and it's not it's not weird. 1687 01:16:01,200 --> 01:16:03,280 Speaker 2: And if you don't have those friends, we'll be your friends, 1688 01:16:03,360 --> 01:16:06,599 Speaker 2: just like yeah, we really honestly, Like if you don't 1689 01:16:06,600 --> 01:16:09,719 Speaker 2: have a babysitter, I'm the type of mom like, okay, 1690 01:16:10,120 --> 01:16:11,439 Speaker 2: what's wrong? You gt me pick up the baby at 1691 01:16:11,439 --> 01:16:11,800 Speaker 2: one time? 1692 01:16:12,439 --> 01:16:14,400 Speaker 4: Like I've only seen I've only met this girl four times, 1693 01:16:14,400 --> 01:16:16,640 Speaker 4: Like okay, okay, I'll sing else swing you think I'll 1694 01:16:16,640 --> 01:16:20,600 Speaker 4: recognize me. I picked him up because I really understand. 1695 01:16:20,720 --> 01:16:22,639 Speaker 4: I understand that it's hard to be a mom. I understand 1696 01:16:22,680 --> 01:16:24,320 Speaker 4: it's hard to be a single mom. And I and 1697 01:16:24,360 --> 01:16:28,600 Speaker 4: then I really believe fully in the village situation, like 1698 01:16:28,640 --> 01:16:29,320 Speaker 4: I really do. 1699 01:16:29,760 --> 01:16:33,320 Speaker 2: My friend's cousin told her, you know who you are, 1700 01:16:34,120 --> 01:16:34,519 Speaker 2: my friend. 1701 01:16:34,520 --> 01:16:37,880 Speaker 4: I hope the cousin's not listening not to discipline her 1702 01:16:38,000 --> 01:16:39,439 Speaker 4: child because she only wants her to. 1703 01:16:39,520 --> 01:16:42,960 Speaker 2: She's one, by the way, she only like wants. 1704 01:16:42,840 --> 01:16:46,519 Speaker 4: Her to like be receptive to her disciplinary action or 1705 01:16:46,560 --> 01:16:49,160 Speaker 4: some stupid fucking shit like that, and that you know, 1706 01:16:49,200 --> 01:16:52,200 Speaker 4: don't give so much, don't put so much highlight on 1707 01:16:52,240 --> 01:16:54,960 Speaker 4: her negative bad behavior. The child is one years old, 1708 01:16:55,880 --> 01:16:57,920 Speaker 4: so I had to think about it. It's like, first 1709 01:16:57,920 --> 01:16:59,439 Speaker 4: of all, I'm not going to be around my kids. 1710 01:16:59,479 --> 01:17:01,160 Speaker 4: I gonna be around another mom that I don't trust 1711 01:17:01,200 --> 01:17:04,120 Speaker 4: your judgment. Can you imagine being around ire and Luna 1712 01:17:04,160 --> 01:17:05,800 Speaker 4: and you couldn't rock for mand Luna. 1713 01:17:05,960 --> 01:17:07,559 Speaker 2: It doesn't exist their children. 1714 01:17:07,640 --> 01:17:09,599 Speaker 4: You have to be able to be like, no, don't 1715 01:17:09,640 --> 01:17:12,360 Speaker 4: do that share yes, No, like you're teaching them. 1716 01:17:12,439 --> 01:17:15,599 Speaker 2: Yeah. So like, if you're the type of mom you 1717 01:17:15,640 --> 01:17:18,200 Speaker 2: need to accept help. You need to trust the help 1718 01:17:18,240 --> 01:17:19,519 Speaker 2: who you're getting it from. You need to calm the 1719 01:17:19,560 --> 01:17:22,320 Speaker 2: fuck down. Okay, you need to smoke some weed. Is 1720 01:17:22,360 --> 01:17:23,000 Speaker 2: what you need to do. 1721 01:17:23,360 --> 01:17:26,280 Speaker 4: Speaking of that past the week, because now it's over 1722 01:17:26,320 --> 01:17:27,679 Speaker 4: and I can lose my train of thought. 1723 01:17:27,680 --> 01:17:31,120 Speaker 2: If I want to thank you for joining us, Thank 1724 01:17:31,160 --> 01:17:33,519 Speaker 2: you for joining us. If you need friends, email us 1725 01:17:33,600 --> 01:17:37,080 Speaker 2: or dm US Yeah, dm US Good Moms Underscore Bad 1726 01:17:37,160 --> 01:17:39,719 Speaker 2: Choices and getting better at that. Yes, And you can. 1727 01:17:39,600 --> 01:17:42,400 Speaker 3: Also check out our website. We have all of our 1728 01:17:42,439 --> 01:17:46,559 Speaker 3: episodes up there. It's www dot Good Moms, Bad Choices 1729 01:17:46,720 --> 01:17:49,519 Speaker 3: dot com. I'm gonna put some links up there from 1730 01:17:49,720 --> 01:17:53,599 Speaker 3: today's episode to just some some resources for anyone that's 1731 01:17:53,600 --> 01:17:59,880 Speaker 3: going through postpartum I'll have some links for dads and yeah. 1732 01:17:59,520 --> 01:18:02,439 Speaker 2: Yeah, there's also a contact page there. I think, like, 1733 01:18:02,479 --> 01:18:04,360 Speaker 2: I feel like contact pages are so ancient. 1734 01:18:04,560 --> 01:18:08,559 Speaker 3: Keep putting, or I was gonna say, hit up our 1735 01:18:08,640 --> 01:18:13,840 Speaker 3: contact Parental Advisory g MBC at gmail dot com. 1736 01:18:14,160 --> 01:18:17,639 Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, guys, Well do we say our names? 1737 01:18:17,760 --> 01:18:20,000 Speaker 2: I don't think we say our names enough. I'm Erica, 1738 01:18:20,320 --> 01:18:24,719 Speaker 2: and I'm Mela Erica, Mela Erica. Okay, this is my voice. 1739 01:18:24,960 --> 01:18:29,120 Speaker 2: This is my voice. That's pretty single, young hot men 1740 01:18:29,160 --> 01:18:30,479 Speaker 2: out there, this is Mela. 1741 01:18:30,720 --> 01:18:30,880 Speaker 4: Hey. 1742 01:18:33,040 --> 01:18:42,160 Speaker 2: Oh wait, it's horry time story. It's so boring. Fine, No, 1743 01:18:42,360 --> 01:18:43,200 Speaker 2: I know horry then. 1744 01:18:45,240 --> 01:18:45,640 Speaker 6: Oh you did. 1745 01:18:45,920 --> 01:18:48,320 Speaker 2: Okay, Well I'm not gonna talk about that yet. That's 1746 01:18:48,320 --> 01:18:51,120 Speaker 2: from saying that horry. Okay, go a horry, I guess. 1747 01:18:51,439 --> 01:18:53,920 Speaker 4: I mean our stories are probably horries, so any square 1748 01:18:53,960 --> 01:18:56,679 Speaker 4: bitch in America, So a normal story. 1749 01:18:56,520 --> 01:18:59,880 Speaker 2: Is a horry for a square bitch. One time, when I. 1750 01:19:02,320 --> 01:19:05,080 Speaker 3: When I was back in the day, not that back 1751 01:19:05,120 --> 01:19:07,639 Speaker 3: in the day, well back in the day before children, 1752 01:19:08,560 --> 01:19:11,439 Speaker 3: I had a boyfriend and he was super jealous, like 1753 01:19:11,760 --> 01:19:16,880 Speaker 3: very very possessive, extremely jealous, crazy, and we had like 1754 01:19:16,960 --> 01:19:19,120 Speaker 3: broken up for a while because of that, and it 1755 01:19:19,240 --> 01:19:21,360 Speaker 3: was the summertime, and I was having like this summer 1756 01:19:21,439 --> 01:19:24,720 Speaker 3: flame with this guy that like I'd known for a 1757 01:19:24,800 --> 01:19:27,160 Speaker 3: long time. He was really fine, Like, oh he was 1758 01:19:27,200 --> 01:19:31,680 Speaker 3: fine anyway, uh, and so we went out. I had 1759 01:19:31,680 --> 01:19:33,799 Speaker 3: went to this I went to this Pea Diddy party, 1760 01:19:35,080 --> 01:19:37,200 Speaker 3: you know his all white parties, the p Diddy all 1761 01:19:37,240 --> 01:19:37,639 Speaker 3: white party. 1762 01:19:37,720 --> 01:19:39,920 Speaker 2: Yes, okay, So I went to the all white Pea 1763 01:19:40,000 --> 01:19:42,800 Speaker 2: Diddy party out here. Yeah, okay. The only reason I 1764 01:19:42,880 --> 01:19:45,479 Speaker 2: went was my mom. That's just so lame, my mom, 1765 01:19:46,040 --> 01:19:48,000 Speaker 2: my mom. Yeah, because my mom used to used to 1766 01:19:48,080 --> 01:19:49,559 Speaker 2: do uh ditty's makeup. 1767 01:19:51,439 --> 01:19:55,000 Speaker 3: And so I went to the party and I was 1768 01:19:55,040 --> 01:19:56,960 Speaker 3: just I was with one of my girlfriends and I 1769 01:19:57,080 --> 01:19:59,360 Speaker 3: saw my ex there and so it was really awkward 1770 01:19:59,439 --> 01:19:59,960 Speaker 3: and I kind. 1771 01:19:59,880 --> 01:20:03,400 Speaker 2: Of dodging him and I ignored him, and so I left. 1772 01:20:03,520 --> 01:20:04,360 Speaker 2: We went to another party. 1773 01:20:04,400 --> 01:20:07,000 Speaker 3: I met up with my new boo, and we got 1774 01:20:07,040 --> 01:20:09,519 Speaker 3: back to my house and we had like, you know, 1775 01:20:09,760 --> 01:20:13,840 Speaker 3: we did our thing and and then so then but 1776 01:20:13,920 --> 01:20:16,320 Speaker 3: then at like four in the morning, we're sleeping and like, 1777 01:20:16,640 --> 01:20:19,960 Speaker 3: my my, there's someone pounding at my door and I'm like, 1778 01:20:20,040 --> 01:20:21,560 Speaker 3: what the fuck, who the fuck is it? And I 1779 01:20:21,680 --> 01:20:24,519 Speaker 3: look out and it's my ex and I'm like scared 1780 01:20:24,560 --> 01:20:26,280 Speaker 3: of him, Like I'm like, I have a man in 1781 01:20:26,360 --> 01:20:29,160 Speaker 3: my bed, like he's there. We'd only been broken up 1782 01:20:29,200 --> 01:20:32,960 Speaker 3: for like oh weeks, and so I was like what 1783 01:20:33,040 --> 01:20:34,760 Speaker 3: do I do? So like the guy in my bed 1784 01:20:34,840 --> 01:20:35,559 Speaker 3: is like what the fuck? 1785 01:20:35,840 --> 01:20:39,960 Speaker 2: And I'm like the I'm like, I'm like he's saying it. 1786 01:20:39,960 --> 01:20:40,960 Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't know what to do. I don't 1787 01:20:40,960 --> 01:20:43,519 Speaker 2: know what to do. So he jumps out my window. 1788 01:20:44,640 --> 01:20:48,000 Speaker 2: He jumps off my balcony like into the street, and 1789 01:20:48,120 --> 01:20:51,120 Speaker 2: then he told him to jump. He was kind of 1790 01:20:51,120 --> 01:20:53,040 Speaker 2: a pussy too, and like he was like I'm out, 1791 01:20:53,200 --> 01:20:55,439 Speaker 2: Like he wasn't down. He wasn't down to face the music. 1792 01:20:55,520 --> 01:20:56,920 Speaker 2: He was like, I don't know what's going on, bitch. 1793 01:20:56,920 --> 01:20:58,320 Speaker 2: If you're opening the door on leak. He was not 1794 01:20:58,439 --> 01:21:00,519 Speaker 2: a pussy. It was a fine pussy he was. He 1795 01:21:00,600 --> 01:21:05,360 Speaker 2: was pussy. So he jumped out the window and then 1796 01:21:05,760 --> 01:21:08,160 Speaker 2: my ex I like let my exit, and I was 1797 01:21:08,200 --> 01:21:11,040 Speaker 2: like trying to like act like I was just so tired, 1798 01:21:11,200 --> 01:21:13,080 Speaker 2: just woke up. I was like what, like what are 1799 01:21:13,120 --> 01:21:13,479 Speaker 2: you doing? 1800 01:21:13,520 --> 01:21:14,920 Speaker 3: And Eve been pounding for at this point for like 1801 01:21:15,760 --> 01:21:18,240 Speaker 3: twenty minutes, because I took me that long to figure 1802 01:21:18,240 --> 01:21:20,040 Speaker 3: out what to do right, So he's liked, what the fuck? 1803 01:21:20,160 --> 01:21:21,680 Speaker 3: Like I've been knocking, like, what do you mean you 1804 01:21:21,760 --> 01:21:22,840 Speaker 3: haven't heard me this whole time? 1805 01:21:23,240 --> 01:21:25,360 Speaker 2: And I was like, no, my daughter was closed. I'm 1806 01:21:25,439 --> 01:21:29,479 Speaker 2: so tired, and let me be fucked. 1807 01:21:31,479 --> 01:21:34,080 Speaker 4: I think I didn't even I wasn't even expecting that 1808 01:21:34,479 --> 01:21:38,240 Speaker 4: that turn, and I thought it was wonderfully surprising and great, but. 1809 01:21:38,280 --> 01:21:40,800 Speaker 3: I really I don't really remember much of it because 1810 01:21:40,800 --> 01:21:44,160 Speaker 3: I was low key drunk. Still that sound like an 1811 01:21:44,240 --> 01:21:45,920 Speaker 3: abused battered story like. 1812 01:21:46,479 --> 01:21:49,040 Speaker 2: And then on my ex, I'm scared of him, so 1813 01:21:49,120 --> 01:21:52,519 Speaker 2: I gave him some pussy. No, it sounds like you weren't. 1814 01:21:52,720 --> 01:21:54,720 Speaker 2: He's so scared. A minute you got him out. I 1815 01:21:54,840 --> 01:21:57,640 Speaker 2: was trembling, and then I gave him some pussy to 1816 01:21:57,680 --> 01:22:00,519 Speaker 2: calm him down. Yeah, so you know to one day 1817 01:22:01,560 --> 01:22:06,080 Speaker 2: our period. I mean, it happens. I don't regret it. 1818 01:22:06,320 --> 01:22:09,400 Speaker 2: You shouldn't. I don't want to. Yoo, no regrets over here. 1819 01:22:09,640 --> 01:22:11,720 Speaker 4: No, trust me, there is way more people than you 1820 01:22:11,800 --> 01:22:13,560 Speaker 4: think doing it, just nobody's talking about it and not 1821 01:22:13,680 --> 01:22:14,400 Speaker 4: on their podcast. 1822 01:22:14,880 --> 01:22:16,519 Speaker 2: So if you're judging, it's probably because you've done it. 1823 01:22:16,720 --> 01:22:19,400 Speaker 2: Fuck you or you want to or you want to 1824 01:22:19,520 --> 01:22:21,320 Speaker 2: or you wish that you had two guys wanted to 1825 01:22:21,360 --> 01:22:23,360 Speaker 2: do it to you in twenty five our period. Do it? 1826 01:22:24,560 --> 01:22:26,720 Speaker 2: Just do it, just like do it? Do it and 1827 01:22:26,800 --> 01:22:30,880 Speaker 2: meant to call us and tell us about it. Real problems. Yeah, 1828 01:22:30,880 --> 01:22:33,439 Speaker 2: if you want to submit your hories, please, we need hories. 1829 01:22:33,960 --> 01:22:35,040 Speaker 2: Tell us your horries. 1830 01:22:35,120 --> 01:22:38,400 Speaker 4: We need more horries without us continuingly to sound like, yeah, we. 1831 01:22:38,400 --> 01:22:41,160 Speaker 3: Don't need, we don't need all of our like potential, 1832 01:22:41,400 --> 01:22:45,599 Speaker 3: like bad stories on the internet, our future booze listening 1833 01:22:45,680 --> 01:22:46,719 Speaker 3: to all of our horror stories. 1834 01:22:46,720 --> 01:22:50,160 Speaker 2: Well, they're gonna know anyway, but I'm gonna just don't listen. 1835 01:22:51,720 --> 01:22:54,200 Speaker 2: Do you want to continue this relationship? Don't listen. You're 1836 01:22:54,240 --> 01:22:59,280 Speaker 2: not gonna like me after Oh my god. Okay, guys, well. 1837 01:23:00,680 --> 01:23:04,360 Speaker 7: I won't your money money, I want your money. I 1838 01:23:04,479 --> 01:23:07,360 Speaker 7: want my money. I won't show money. Once upon a time, 1839 01:23:07,520 --> 01:23:10,560 Speaker 7: not long ago, I was a hope and I'm admitting it. 1840 01:23:10,920 --> 01:23:13,080 Speaker 7: I won't take you back because I did this ship. 1841 01:23:13,320 --> 01:23:16,120 Speaker 7: I was a hope and I'm admitting it. I won't 1842 01:23:16,160 --> 01:23:18,400 Speaker 7: take it back because if did this ship, I was 1843 01:23:18,439 --> 01:23:21,479 Speaker 7: a help. My money. I want your money. I want 1844 01:23:21,560 --> 01:23:25,080 Speaker 7: my money. I want your money, my money. I want 1845 01:23:25,120 --> 01:23:28,080 Speaker 7: your money. I want my money, I want your money. 1846 01:23:28,200 --> 01:23:30,280 Speaker 7: If I want to fuck, I'm gonna fuck him. But 1847 01:23:30,400 --> 01:23:32,800 Speaker 7: if he ain't got a buck, I won't cover. Spend 1848 01:23:32,840 --> 01:23:33,519 Speaker 7: a hundred on me. 1849 01:23:33,720 --> 01:23:34,479 Speaker 2: It ain't nothing. 1850 01:23:35,120 --> 01:23:37,479 Speaker 7: I want a double B. So he stuck back to 1851 01:23:37,600 --> 01:23:40,040 Speaker 7: the point, is it some cash in this place? If 1852 01:23:40,080 --> 01:23:42,160 Speaker 7: it is, I probably stick the stats and your face 1853 01:23:42,240 --> 01:23:45,400 Speaker 7: turn around. Then he asks about the taste he fell 1854 01:23:45,479 --> 01:23:49,080 Speaker 7: in love like the passion the drag. Better fuck him though, 1855 01:23:49,479 --> 01:23:52,040 Speaker 7: And I don't even care if his mother no, it's 1856 01:23:52,080 --> 01:23:52,960 Speaker 7: about that paper. 1857 01:23:53,080 --> 01:23:54,160 Speaker 2: On another note, and