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Speaker 1: Lisa Lambinelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.

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Speaker 1: She is a meddling advice giving yana and know it all,

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Speaker 1: and her words come from her head, her heart, and

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Speaker 1: often out of her ass. His podcast should not be

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Speaker 1: misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a huge

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Speaker 1: strain of salt for entertainment purposes only.

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Speaker 2: These You need help, you're the problems. Come on, come down,

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Speaker 2: go leab, take a pill. I think you're insane. Do

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Speaker 2: what I say, dumb ass.

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Speaker 3: Listen to me.

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Speaker 2: You everybody hat Lisa Ambinelli and this is shrink This

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Speaker 2: with Lisa Lambinelli with me today. It's my creative assistant,

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Speaker 2: Nick Scopaletti's Hello.

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Speaker 3: Ni, it's me. I got a promotion.

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Speaker 2: I got a promotion. That's what I got that in Yes, Nick,

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Speaker 2: to tell everybody where they can find you.

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Speaker 3: Out you on Instagram and TikTok at.

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Speaker 2: I love how you like stare at yourself.

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Speaker 3: I just hate seeing myself.

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Speaker 2: Okay, what are you looking at?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 2: Seriously, you guys don't understand. Okay, look I can't see anything.

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Speaker 2: I'm just looking at Wait I have to turn around.

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Speaker 2: Hold on, so what's happening? Oh? Hi? Wait? But you're

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Speaker 2: always looking at it while you're talking. Why and look

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Speaker 2: at it if you hate it?

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Speaker 3: I don't know. It's just like a car crash. Look away.

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Speaker 2: That's true. I've seen that face. So Okay. So this

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Speaker 2: is a topic that I want to do for a

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Speaker 2: while because it plagued me for so many years. Today

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Speaker 2: I want to talk about family traditions, friend aditions, holiday traditions,

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Speaker 2: any tradition, because I feel like in society we are

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Speaker 2: told we have to quote keep up traditions, and it's like,

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Speaker 2: wait a minute, what if no one else wants to

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Speaker 2: keep it up when we're the only one upholding it,

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Speaker 2: or what if everyone kind of senses while this thing's

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Speaker 2: outlived its usefulness, we should stop or change it up,

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Speaker 2: or do it differently, and do it with the intention

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Speaker 2: of like, hey, this is somebody just trying to recapture

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Speaker 2: their youth with their family. They're trying to do new traditions.

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Speaker 2: And I think the word tradition is so loaded because

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Speaker 2: we feel like failures if we don't carry them on.

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Speaker 2: So I wanted to talk about and we got a

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Speaker 2: lot of letters from people who are sort of going

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Speaker 2: through the same thing of like when should I let

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Speaker 2: things go. When is it okay to just like go ooh,

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Speaker 2: I don't have to do anything. I basically consider my

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Speaker 2: ass at Christmas if that's where I find peace and

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Speaker 2: how I want to live. Are you familiar with this

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Speaker 2: type of subject, Nicholas, Yeah.

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Speaker 3: The holidays for my family was always a point of contention.

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Speaker 2: Wait, always like growing up or just as an adult.

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Speaker 3: As an adult, I would say as a kid it

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Speaker 3: was fun because didn't really matter, but then logistically it

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Speaker 3: got a little you know, without going to the whole story,

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Speaker 3: just we always had to like ghost like. It was

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Speaker 3: always like the driving issue.

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Speaker 2: Right, Okay, you had to drive from where to wear.

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Speaker 3: So every it was Thanksgiving in particular, but it was

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Speaker 3: my grandmother lived in New Rochelle, New York. Okay, so

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Speaker 3: every the day every Thanksgiving Day, So the night before,

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Speaker 3: usually in college especially, I go out with my friends.

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Speaker 2: Ye always get hammhaed.

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Speaker 3: We could go out the next day to the Sea Grape.

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Speaker 2: You go to the Sea Grape. That was like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I forget where we would go though, definitely okay.

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Speaker 3: For a few but I would have to drive from Monroe, Connecticut,

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Speaker 3: down to New Rochelle, New York, pick up my grandmother

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Speaker 3: then drive to upstate New York, past Albany, my cousin's house.

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Speaker 3: I was in a Dobbs Ferry. No, no, it was

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Speaker 3: past Albany. It was like, wow, that's far okay, Cone

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Speaker 3: whatever it was called state, go up there, battle the

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Speaker 3: tap and ze bridge the whole time. And we would

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Speaker 3: stay overnight and then stay the next day and have

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Speaker 3: to leave. So the pain, the ass thing that we

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Speaker 3: used to do every year was again I had to

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Speaker 3: go from an road and New Michelle. And one year,

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Speaker 3: one year I suggested, you know what, why would I

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Speaker 3: go down to New Rochelle and then battle through the

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Speaker 3: tap and Zee. I said to my grandmother, I go,

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Speaker 3: how about this year? Oh you drive up to Monroe.

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Speaker 3: I'll drive you from there. We skipped the tap. She

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Speaker 3: used to complain every year about the traffic, right, and

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Speaker 3: I was too tired, and I was like, this is insane.

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Speaker 3: I go, you come an hour here, I do the

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Speaker 3: three hours up, the three hours back. You don't have

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Speaker 3: to worry about nothing, and up in arms.

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Speaker 2: Oh yes you don't want to come pick me up,

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Speaker 2: but I don't do enough for you? Yes, yes, yes,

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Speaker 2: And then the guilt kill a nightmare and with people

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Speaker 2: like that, it's impossible to say. A shrink told me

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Speaker 2: years ago that the five most powerful words and the

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Speaker 2: only words you ever really need, are that doesn't work

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Speaker 2: for me. So if you truly feel that drive doesn't

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Speaker 2: work for you, that should be enough. Like it has

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Speaker 2: to be case closed. But when it comes to family

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Speaker 2: and traditions, it's so heated and such a hot hot

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Speaker 2: button issue that people get very emotional over it. I mean,

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Speaker 2: I remember when we sort of stopped celebrating Easter. It

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Speaker 2: was like me kicking and screaming, I love, or at

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Speaker 2: least loved. I'm learning to, you know, let it go.

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Speaker 2: Every holiday, meaning Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve, July fourth,

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Speaker 2: Memorial Day, and Labor Day, there was always something to

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Speaker 2: do specifically on those days that involve family. So I

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Speaker 2: remember we still do Thanksgiving and Christmas sort of similarly

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Speaker 2: as we always have. I remember the first year that

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Speaker 2: Easter wasn't gonna happen because I don't think people like

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Speaker 2: Catholics used to be the biggest holiday. They used to

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Speaker 2: say Easter is more important than Christmas because Jesus rose,

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Speaker 2: he was just born on Christmas. That's not important. He

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Speaker 2: didn't do anything, but he fucking rose. So you would

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Speaker 2: have to go to like the fire department and get

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Speaker 2: like buy plants for your moms and aunts and grandmothers,

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Speaker 2: because I always, for some reason, held them at these

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Speaker 2: fire stations, so it seemed like a cute little thing.

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Speaker 2: You'd go buy all these elderly aunts and things, these

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Speaker 2: flowers and like plants like lilacs and tulips, and then

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Speaker 2: you'd have like the church thing with your family, and

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Speaker 2: then the Easter egg hunt and then the Easter baskets

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Speaker 2: and Easter dinner. So it was like a big deal

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Speaker 2: in a lot of Catholic slives, and definitely mine in

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Speaker 2: our family. But I kind of felt like, oh, that's

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Speaker 2: gonna I sensed after my parents, or right before my

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Speaker 2: parents passed. I was like, I bet that's gonna be

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Speaker 2: the first one to go. I think Easter's gonna be

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Speaker 2: not as observed as the other ones. So I remember

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Speaker 2: the first year, I get a call from my sister

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Speaker 2: and she says they're gonna go on a cruise because

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Speaker 2: it coincides with their school vacation. She's a teacher, and

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Speaker 2: I was, oh, yeah, no. Externally, of course, I'm like, no,

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Speaker 2: that's great. Oh my god, you deserve it. Have fun, girl,

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Speaker 2: get your groove on, which I didn't say any of that.

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Speaker 2: I was just oh my god, great, have fun. But

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Speaker 2: inside it felt like the biggest loss and death ever

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Speaker 2: because I was like, oh no, like once that one goes,

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Speaker 2: what about the next one and the next one, when

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Speaker 2: in reality, like if Christmas, Thanksgiving, an Easter and all

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Speaker 2: the rest disappeared, we'd figure it out. I'd figure out

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Speaker 2: how to make peace with it. Somehow I'd work it through.

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Speaker 2: But it was so like a it almost felt I

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Speaker 2: was getting stabbed in the heart, like, oh, Easter's gone.

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Speaker 2: So for the first year I tried to like scare

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Speaker 2: up people to do Easter with and it worked ish

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Speaker 2: for two years, like with six people, but it felt

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Speaker 2: sad that it was only six instead of like forty.

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Speaker 2: And then last year I remember, no one wanted to

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Speaker 2: do anything. So I texted my brother and his wife

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Speaker 2: and I go, hey, if you're around for Easter, if

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Speaker 2: you want to get brunch somewhere, And we went to brunch,

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Speaker 2: then went on a walk, which I never walk. I

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Speaker 2: have a fully established hatred of any type of movement,

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Speaker 2: but they wanted to and I was like, sure, it

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Speaker 2: was a gorgeous day. I was like, oh, this is

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Speaker 2: that was nice, And it was me just having to

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Speaker 2: work on loosening the hold of like I want traditions

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Speaker 2: like mommy and Daddy had. It's always cause my mother

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Speaker 2: was so vigilant about doing it the way her parents

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Speaker 2: did it. So she was like, I could almost my

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Speaker 2: voice sing like mommy and Daddy did. It is her

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Speaker 2: voice saying it about her parents. So it all felt

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Speaker 2: sad to let go of it. And it's still kind

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Speaker 2: of has a little tinge of like, ooh, we're not

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Speaker 2: doing anything. But then it kind of I think you

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Speaker 2: have to really, or least I did, have to meaningfully

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Speaker 2: work it through of what it really means inside to

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Speaker 2: me to let it go and not be either resentful

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Speaker 2: or angry or just sad about it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I definitely think for me the traditions are I

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Speaker 3: like them. But at the same time I get a

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Speaker 3: little like I'm like, oh, let's just keep it loose,

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Speaker 3: like we should all just be having fun, right, like

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Speaker 3: it's whatever, like one of the points I get another

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Speaker 3: point of contention. But this is mostly when I was younger.

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Speaker 3: My grandmother used to really get on me about what

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Speaker 3: I wore to holidays. Oh my god, I wasn't in

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Speaker 3: khaki's in a button down. I mean, yeah, what are

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Speaker 3: you wearing jeans for everyone else? Is it's tradition you're

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Speaker 3: supposed to And I would be like, shut up. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: Like I was a teenager, I was like, doesn't murders,

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Speaker 3: so it's not a big deal.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So I used to like, nah, just do it different,

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Speaker 3: it's cool, like whatever. So I go back and forth

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Speaker 3: on that and now and I'm not like, I mean,

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Speaker 3: I'm an adult, but I don't like a family and

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Speaker 3: going to I'm not going to easters with like my

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Speaker 3: own you know what I mean, Like I don't have

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Speaker 3: So I'm not like worried about traditions yet I'm just

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Speaker 3: like I show up and we all hang out. Who cares.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I definitely feel like last year's the first year

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Speaker 2: I loosened up on that because it was like I

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Speaker 2: was fighting tooth and nail for something no one else

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Speaker 2: wanted or valued. And it's like, but then it's not.

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Speaker 2: I had to really look internally and go, it's not

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Speaker 2: my job to make them like and want the same

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Speaker 2: things I like and want. And by the way, once

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Speaker 2: you start doing that, you go, wait a minute, what

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Speaker 2: am I trying to do? Oh, I'm trying to recreate

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Speaker 2: something that happened, you know, fifty forty years ago. But

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Speaker 2: they can never happen that way again because those people

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Speaker 2: aren't here anymore. Your grandparents are gone. You're in a

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Speaker 2: different house my grandparents. I passed their old house every

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Speaker 2: day because it's on the way to my house, and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, they're not there anymore. My parents aren't

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Speaker 2: here anymore. So really, you're never gonna recapture that holiday.

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Speaker 2: And it's that it's a corny saying, but it's true.

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Speaker 2: Don't weep for what? Don't weep that you no longer

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Speaker 2: had it, smile because you'd had it at one point.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure I basteardized the quote, but it's like, well,

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Speaker 2: the whole you're lucky enough that you had these memories,

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Speaker 2: so until I could use the gratitude of like, you're

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Speaker 2: fucking lucky that up until you were probably fifty eight,

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Speaker 2: like Easter was a big f and deal and the

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Speaker 2: Easter egg hunts with the kids and all that cuteness,

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Speaker 2: and now it's like everybody goes well, now, established traditions

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Speaker 2: of your own. I would even argue go or maybe

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Speaker 2: you don't have to, maybe you could just see what

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Speaker 2: happens year to year. So I remember last year at

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Speaker 2: July fourth. Also had always had a real thing to

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Speaker 2: me because we still always go to my brothers. The

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Speaker 2: kids were always in a parade. They would barbecue. My

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Speaker 2: brother's family is the least time maintenance people, so casual.

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Speaker 2: You never felt any stress. It was always my parents

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Speaker 2: and me and them, and they just have all these

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Speaker 2: things set up to play, and the kids had so

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Speaker 2: much fun. And these are like teenagers, so they were

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Speaker 2: like really fun to hang out with still and I'm

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Speaker 2: like one of those kids. All live in different parts

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Speaker 2: of the country. Now my parents are gone. Uh oh,

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Speaker 2: I go, let me have a July fourth where I

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Speaker 2: experiment on staying home because also with good weather, it's

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Speaker 2: pressure to have fun. And also I've never been a

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Speaker 2: weather good weather person who needs to do outdoor things.

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Speaker 2: I lived on the water for years and never went

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Speaker 2: in the water because I just hate the sand. But

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Speaker 2: I lived on a private beach. It's mentally ill. So

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Speaker 2: I said, let me see what this is like. And

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Speaker 2: three weeks before I'll never forget my friend Anthony, who's

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Speaker 2: you know, one of my oldest friends, known him forever,

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Speaker 2: he says, And how perfect did this? He goes, Me

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Speaker 2: and David, his husband. Me and David are having a

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Speaker 2: few people over for July fourth. We'd like you to come.

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Speaker 2: We're doing it our way. We cook outside, but eat inside.

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Speaker 2: I said, I'm in because I don't have to deal

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Speaker 2: with a fly. I don't have to deal with a

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Speaker 2: fucking wind or a breeze and none of that shit.

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Speaker 2: I literally showed up their house at noon. I left

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Speaker 2: at nine at night, where I have so much fun. And

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Speaker 2: by fun, it's my type of fun, like games and

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Speaker 2: like silly conversation and just having a good time. And boy,

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Speaker 2: if I didn't let up on the but I have

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Speaker 2: to recreate that memory of what we used to do

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Speaker 2: with my brother. And why don't I just chase one

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Speaker 2: of the kids around the country and go to Cincinnati

255
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Speaker 2: and see those guys enforce this tradition. I wouldn't have

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Speaker 2: been open to that other thing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's fun, man, Sometimes letting.

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Speaker 2: Goes it's all letting go. That's Anthony. Actually, the same

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Speaker 2: guy had given me a bracelet one year that said

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Speaker 2: the balance of life is how what we hold on

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Speaker 2: to and what we let go. So I held on

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Speaker 2: to the good memories. But it took years of me

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Speaker 2: working out being sad over it. But then it stops

264
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Speaker 2: being sad suddenly, which is really nice because you can't

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Speaker 2: I can't live where I'm holding on so tight to

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Speaker 2: a dream that's never gonna happen again.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, my grandmother used to do that too, and it

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Speaker 3: would stress everyone out, especially me. She'd be like, let's

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Speaker 3: stay the next day for Thanksgiving for turkey sandwich is

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Speaker 3: and everyone else is leaving. She's it's traditional. I go,

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Speaker 3: We're the only ones that stay. Yeah, I think it's over,

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Speaker 3: like they hosted us. We were here all day yesterday.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I think Uncle Jimmy is annoying. He just wants his

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Speaker 3: house house back.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, But we stay and we do this.

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Speaker 3: It's like, no, let's we gotta go. I want to go.

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Speaker 2: Let's leave. Well, And also you probably haven't experienced this

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Speaker 2: yet because of age. When you actually lighten up and

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Speaker 2: not force a tradition, people end up staying longer in

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Speaker 2: the right way. So in other words, with Anthony lightening

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Speaker 2: up and having this silly mistakes inside, don't worry. We

283
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Speaker 2: don't have to deal with a bug. You end up

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Speaker 2: staying longer. And look at your watch. Go Jesus Christ,

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Speaker 2: it's eight nine o'clock. This is how'd this go? By?

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Speaker 2: Some best my house for Christmas last year? I remember

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Speaker 2: I thought everyone's going to leave around six, you know,

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Speaker 2: and I would I thought I would have killed to

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Speaker 2: have them say to midnight. My brother and his kids

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Speaker 2: were like, we want to stay a little longer. And

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Speaker 2: it was probably because I wasn't giving off a vibe

292
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Speaker 2: of please stay, I'm desperate for you to stay, and

293
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Speaker 2: they were so relaxed, and I said, oh, it's because

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Speaker 2: I lightened up. People would rather People would rather be

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Speaker 2: around the person who's lightened up than be around the

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Speaker 2: person who's forcing a tradition, right, you know. And I

297
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Speaker 2: just got to really maintain that because it's never going

298
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Speaker 2: to go back to what it was, right, you know.

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Speaker 2: About three years ago, when Leona, my great niece, was

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Speaker 2: firstborn and maybe one, and Elliott, my great nephew, was

301
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:04,080
Speaker 2: about six months, I was down in Richmond, where one

302
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Speaker 2: of them lives, and my brother had put together this

303
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Speaker 2: big Easter egg hunt. It was like two weeks in advance.

304
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Speaker 2: Of Easter because he wasn't gonna be there for Easter.

305
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Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, we can do holidays

306
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Speaker 2: on different days. You mean, like it had never dawned

307
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Speaker 2: on me so three years ago that oh my god,

308
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Speaker 2: Like it doesn't have to be on the day of, right,

309
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Speaker 2: And I was like, that felt more like Easter than

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Speaker 2: anything in years, because we were doing the stuff with

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Speaker 2: the vibe that was internally warm.

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Speaker 3: One percent my family, honestly, my dad's side does that now. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's to the point where I mean, at one point

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Speaker 3: both of my cousins were married and one still is

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Speaker 3: and she has her kids, and like she'll go see

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Speaker 3: the in laws and like my uncle has his in laws,

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Speaker 3: Like my dad and my mother aren't are single. So

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Speaker 3: it's whatever. So like a lot of years we won't

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Speaker 3: even do the holiday on the day of, It'll be like,

320
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Speaker 3: say Christmas, Like it'll be like, hey, how's how's January

321
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Speaker 3: eighth for everyone? Saturday?

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Speaker 2: And we're like, good in the feast of the King.

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Speaker 3: Yeah we do it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you freaking tell you. But here's the question,

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Speaker 2: what do you do then on the day of I'm.

326
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Speaker 3: Curious, pretty chill man, I mean, for.

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Speaker 2: Me, does that feel good to you?

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Speaker 3: There are I always get invited. I've been lucky enough,

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Speaker 3: even though I don't have a lot of immediate families,

330
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Speaker 3: just my dad and I, I've been lucky enough. I

331
00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:23,400
Speaker 3: was get invited to people's homes, friends.

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Speaker 2: Home, right, And it always does come up no one

333
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,640
Speaker 2: if you make it known, not in a needy way,

334
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:31,280
Speaker 2: but in the way of, hey, I'm gonna experiment stay

335
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:34,960
Speaker 2: at home on Christmas. You'll get three four invitations because

336
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,640
Speaker 2: people are like, oh, well, I like them, they're pleasant

337
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:40,560
Speaker 2: and you and again, I think the kind of would

338
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,960
Speaker 2: be cool to kind of say no once in a

339
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,560
Speaker 2: while too and just see how it feels.

340
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Speaker 3: For sure, like this, I mean like this year, me

341
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:49,159
Speaker 3: and my dad do it a lot. Is we'll do

342
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:52,359
Speaker 3: like a Jewish Christmas. Yeah, it's Christmas Day. We go

343
00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:54,399
Speaker 3: get Chinese food, me and him. Yeah, it comes to

344
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,720
Speaker 3: the house. We chill and my dad he didn't even stay.

345
00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:58,200
Speaker 3: Like it's kind of funny, like he goes for a

346
00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:00,320
Speaker 3: few hours and he'll sit down for an hour talk.

347
00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:02,679
Speaker 3: He'll go, Okay, I'm gonna go because he wants to

348
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:05,800
Speaker 3: being too, and I'll turn on a movie and just chill.

349
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Speaker 2: Well, I remember, though, remember how I do. The only

350
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:12,240
Speaker 2: tradition I have other than like the family dinners and

351
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:15,680
Speaker 2: stuff is for Valentine's Day, even though I could care

352
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,240
Speaker 2: less about Valentine's Day. For some reason, one year, I

353
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:21,360
Speaker 2: had a dinner in Valentine making party with my friends,

354
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:25,679
Speaker 2: like twelve people, and it's just so funny and dumb

355
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:28,480
Speaker 2: because it's all like the cards get dirty and it's

356
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:31,960
Speaker 2: fun and nobody's crafty except one person. The rest of

357
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:35,200
Speaker 2: us suck that. It's like the third year. We did

358
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:39,000
Speaker 2: it this year, But then it's never on Valentine's Day,

359
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:42,280
Speaker 2: So I go, oh, I don't have a Valentine nor

360
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:45,560
Speaker 2: do I want one? Me and I go my gay

361
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,560
Speaker 2: friend Bobby, who's single. I just go, you want to

362
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,600
Speaker 2: go see The Brutalist, which is, by the way, a

363
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:54,560
Speaker 2: four hour, horrifyingly depressing movie. And what's weird is it

364
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:56,920
Speaker 2: wasn't playing that day because no one's going to see

365
00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:59,040
Speaker 2: that on Valentine's Day, so we went to some horror

366
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:01,800
Speaker 2: film instead. But I was like, Oh, it's really fine

367
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:08,159
Speaker 2: to do stuff. Not everyone's a couple, not everyone's Catholic

368
00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:10,040
Speaker 2: and has a family, who does a Christmas like that?

369
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:12,879
Speaker 2: Some people are at the movie, and I just admire

370
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,840
Speaker 2: the open mindedness because I was very close mind about

371
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:18,439
Speaker 2: things have to be this certain way. It's almost like

372
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:21,280
Speaker 2: now I have to take the feeling that I liked

373
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:26,399
Speaker 2: from the past holiday. So say, with July fourth, I

374
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:30,679
Speaker 2: like the feeling of being included, like the feeling of

375
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,080
Speaker 2: it's warm out, but I don't have to be outside.

376
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:37,879
Speaker 2: I like the feeling of it was funny. There was

377
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:41,960
Speaker 2: a lot of laughter. I remember at my brother's house. Okay,

378
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,639
Speaker 2: that's what I want to create with somebody else, like

379
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:47,720
Speaker 2: friends or by myself, and those things can all be created.

380
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,879
Speaker 2: So it's basically taken the feeling and being responsible for

381
00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:53,200
Speaker 2: my own life. So I think that's how I could

382
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:54,640
Speaker 2: get my head more around the whole thing.

383
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love it.

384
00:19:56,320 --> 00:20:00,000
Speaker 2: I love this journey for I not negative such a journey,

385
00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:01,560
Speaker 2: all right.

386
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:05,399
Speaker 3: This is from Fiona from Hartford on.

387
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:08,800
Speaker 2: I'm thinking that's a girl married to Shrek.

388
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:13,359
Speaker 3: Probably dear Lisa. Ever since we were kids, my family

389
00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:15,800
Speaker 3: has gone to Maine for two weeks every summer.

390
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:19,920
Speaker 2: God, this sounds like hell. I mean, I love my family, no,

391
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:24,160
Speaker 2: but two weeks around anyone at all.

392
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:28,879
Speaker 3: I just mean like.

393
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:34,280
Speaker 2: Sharing a bathroom with someone in the family for more

394
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:38,560
Speaker 2: than a day. Nobody can't stand that forced together any

395
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:39,040
Speaker 2: my god?

396
00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:42,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, go fully than I and our families have

397
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:46,640
Speaker 3: continued the tradition. But a few weeks ago he told

398
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:48,959
Speaker 3: me he was skipping this year and going to Spain

399
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,080
Speaker 3: with his family.

400
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:54,720
Speaker 2: Instead, pretentious eurotrash going to Spain. I'm getting it in

401
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:55,879
Speaker 2: the s.

402
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:04,159
Speaker 3: Anal more anal. It's just me and him now, and

403
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:07,000
Speaker 3: I'm really hurt that he's breaking our family tradition. Is

404
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,240
Speaker 3: it fair to be pissed at him?

405
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:14,400
Speaker 2: Thinks Okay, it's not fair. It's okay to be hurt,

406
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:20,879
Speaker 2: but it is not his job to heal that hurt

407
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,280
Speaker 2: for you. So, like I was saying before, when my

408
00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:25,200
Speaker 2: sister decided to go on a cruise a bunch of

409
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:28,280
Speaker 2: years ago, and I was all but hurt about it,

410
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:30,879
Speaker 2: it's not her job to continue a tradition that doesn't

411
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:33,560
Speaker 2: work for her. It also is I'm an adult. It's

412
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:37,240
Speaker 2: not her job to heal my wounds. It's for me

413
00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:39,600
Speaker 2: to take it to a therapist or to a book

414
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:43,280
Speaker 2: or whatever I'm working on and say, hmm, I wonder

415
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:46,920
Speaker 2: why that feels so bad? And maybe later years later

416
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,159
Speaker 2: they could talk about it and just go, wow, it's

417
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,159
Speaker 2: really hurt at that time, and I realize you get

418
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:52,639
Speaker 2: to do what you want with your family. I get

419
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:54,520
Speaker 2: to do what I want. And it did sting a

420
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:56,199
Speaker 2: little and it kind of felt bad, but I'm so

421
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:59,160
Speaker 2: glad I worked it through, because it's not everyone's job

422
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:03,320
Speaker 2: to care take your feelings. That's just codependent one hundred percent,

423
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:04,080
Speaker 2: it's not.

424
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:08,160
Speaker 3: It's also like you and your brother are adults now

425
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:11,800
Speaker 3: you each have your own families, like he has his

426
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,280
Speaker 3: own if his wife or his kids, Like, we really

427
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:16,520
Speaker 3: want to go to Spain and he's like, no, I

428
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:18,480
Speaker 3: have to for my sister. Right.

429
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:22,119
Speaker 2: You don't want anyone doing anything just for you, because

430
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:26,840
Speaker 2: then you end up being hoping they don't resent you.

431
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:29,360
Speaker 2: You don't want to be caretaken like an old person.

432
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:32,840
Speaker 2: I remember during COVID, no one could be around my

433
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:36,359
Speaker 2: mom because she was so old. I got tested a lot,

434
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:39,240
Speaker 2: and I'm single with no kids, so they're like, well,

435
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,800
Speaker 2: if you get tested, you can go and do stuff.

436
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:44,000
Speaker 2: So I stated my mom because there was like an Easter,

437
00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:47,040
Speaker 2: a Mother's Day at July fourth, like all that during COVID,

438
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:48,960
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, eun me and her, which,

439
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,440
Speaker 2: by the way, was so much fun because my mother

440
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:54,480
Speaker 2: did not like to talk. She just liked to play cards.

441
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:56,800
Speaker 2: And I would be like, I'm gonna bring you dinner

442
00:22:56,800 --> 00:23:00,320
Speaker 2: and we're gonna fucking play cards and it was a blast. Again,

443
00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:02,119
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have been open to that tradition if co

444
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:05,920
Speaker 2: what is it called COVID? What is the thing called

445
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,680
Speaker 2: this disease? You know that fake disease? They create you

446
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:13,879
Speaker 2: fake I know, right, I v no when I you

447
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:17,560
Speaker 2: Southern Bubkin, It's like, if that hadn't come along, I

448
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:20,000
Speaker 2: wouldn't have had those memories with my mom. It's like,

449
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:24,360
Speaker 2: you don't allow anything else to grow and ps maybe

450
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:27,359
Speaker 2: and again she's one hundred and fifty percent allowed to

451
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:31,959
Speaker 2: feel sad, not allowed to put it on him. Maybe

452
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:34,480
Speaker 2: talk about it later when you've resolved it within yourself,

453
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:37,800
Speaker 2: maybe figure out, Wow, is this kind of a sign

454
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:40,080
Speaker 2: from the universe that let's see what happens with just

455
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:40,760
Speaker 2: my family?

456
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:43,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, And it's like, well, you know, it's what they

457
00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:46,240
Speaker 3: want to do, it's their own they have to that's cool.

458
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:48,080
Speaker 3: You guys have your memories and that's great. And like

459
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:50,560
Speaker 3: maybe the next like he wants to go to Spain

460
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:52,000
Speaker 3: this year, and the next year it's Maine, and then

461
00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:53,200
Speaker 3: the next year he wants to go to Italy.

462
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:56,880
Speaker 2: Like you just can't prescribe to someone else what to do.

463
00:23:57,280 --> 00:24:00,080
Speaker 3: It's like it's also like I noticed my friend's doing

464
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:03,680
Speaker 3: this when they had children, because when my friends had children,

465
00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:06,679
Speaker 3: those are now the grandkids. So the grandkids are the

466
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:09,720
Speaker 3: stars of the show. Oh yeah, right, so like back

467
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:11,760
Speaker 3: in the day. I remember, in particular, my friend, my

468
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:15,000
Speaker 3: friend Anthony always had his comes from big family, him

469
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,520
Speaker 3: and his wife and their parents are divorced, so it

470
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:20,439
Speaker 3: was like hitting four different houses this day and they

471
00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 3: all live in the same area. Yeah, we gotta go here,

472
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:24,360
Speaker 3: we gotta be here. Guess what when they had the grandkids,

473
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 3: they were like, you come here on this day or

474
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:30,159
Speaker 3: we're not going anywhere. Well yeah, that it became a

475
00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:32,760
Speaker 3: new thing. It's like I'm not going to do the thing.

476
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:34,919
Speaker 3: You want to come see the grandkids. We will be

477
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,840
Speaker 3: home with them opening presents and we'll have dinner at

478
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:39,760
Speaker 3: this time. Cool right, what I mean.

479
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:42,120
Speaker 2: Which is by the way, literally how it's supposed to be,

480
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:44,560
Speaker 2: Like you're supposed to be dragging two year olds out,

481
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:46,679
Speaker 2: you know, and making it.

482
00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:49,280
Speaker 3: They're miserable, they have a routine, they have to nap

483
00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:52,040
Speaker 3: the food. It's like whenever he had to go anywhere

484
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:53,600
Speaker 3: with them, or even when I would be I spent

485
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:55,240
Speaker 3: the whole day one time with my buddy and his

486
00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:58,919
Speaker 3: twin girls when they were probably two or three, and

487
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:02,200
Speaker 3: I was like bye, seven pm. I was like, dude, yeah,

488
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:06,760
Speaker 3: you do this every day. I get what thing isn't oh?

489
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:11,560
Speaker 2: I know? And they get to be the ones people

490
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:16,080
Speaker 2: take care of, meaning like as a parent, it's like, oh, yeah,

491
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:19,160
Speaker 2: we'll come to you, like the grandparents should come there.

492
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:21,639
Speaker 2: You know. It's like, oh, let our kid have a

493
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 2: break from cleaning up after his two three kids. You know.

494
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:29,200
Speaker 2: So I think it's just everybody thinks they got to

495
00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:32,919
Speaker 2: get all mad, But what's at the root of the

496
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:38,879
Speaker 2: anger is that you're sad, frustrated, feeling pushed aside, feeling forgotten,

497
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:42,520
Speaker 2: feeling like you don't count and by the way, and emotionally,

498
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:45,159
Speaker 2: hell yeah, I'm all those things. I go through all

499
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:49,159
Speaker 2: those whenever something fades away like this. But that's not

500
00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:52,280
Speaker 2: for them to solve. Because we did an episode recently

501
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:55,800
Speaker 2: on when is it enough? How many holidays is enough?

502
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:58,639
Speaker 2: Then no matter how much spose. He was like, you

503
00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 2: know what, Okay, you're right, focks, we're gonna go to

504
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:05,840
Speaker 2: your house, the house in Maine. She has no chance

505
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:08,439
Speaker 2: of working on that self esteem problem that's making her

506
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:12,000
Speaker 2: cling on too much. I wouldn't have grown at all

507
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:16,879
Speaker 2: in self worth if people kept like placating me and going, okay,

508
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:18,600
Speaker 2: so we'll just do what you want to do. Then

509
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,560
Speaker 2: you don't work on your shit, and you carry it

510
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:24,320
Speaker 2: into where your your grandmother, poor thing who couldn't even

511
00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:28,200
Speaker 2: see past getting picked up every time she went somewhere.

512
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:29,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was. And another thing that just came to

513
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:31,960
Speaker 3: my head that she used to do a lot. She

514
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:38,560
Speaker 3: had a penhouse in Pelham where she lived, two bedroom,

515
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 3: three bathroom, two story, the spiral staircase. She bought it

516
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 3: in the nineties for like nothing, and it was worth

517
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:46,440
Speaker 3: a lot, but she held on to it too long

518
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:48,639
Speaker 3: because she didn't want to let it go.

519
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:49,280
Speaker 2: Yep.

520
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:52,040
Speaker 3: Now this is a woman who's had a lot of loss.

521
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:55,080
Speaker 3: Her only daughter dies of cancer. She has one grandson,

522
00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:56,120
Speaker 3: which is my dumb ass.

523
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:57,480
Speaker 2: Oh god, that's tragic.

524
00:26:58,520 --> 00:26:59,640
Speaker 3: She starts drinking.

525
00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:02,200
Speaker 2: When I mentioned tragic, that is that you are the

526
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:03,760
Speaker 2: heir to this the.

527
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:07,720
Speaker 3: Heir to the throne, but to stay in that, to

528
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:10,160
Speaker 3: keep the tradition alive, and to stay in that apartment.

529
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:13,320
Speaker 3: She was like, well, the family comes here, it's nice.

530
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:15,160
Speaker 3: And I was like, but you're going You're going broke

531
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:16,480
Speaker 3: staying here. There's no reason.

532
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:20,040
Speaker 2: But here's the problem with you as a man, And

533
00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:22,720
Speaker 2: it's not you, it's a lot of men and rational

534
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:27,120
Speaker 2: women too. It was never about thinking your way out

535
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:31,080
Speaker 2: of it or telling her how to think, or hey, Grandma,

536
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:36,160
Speaker 2: be logical. Grandma was stuck in they owe me. I'm

537
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:38,760
Speaker 2: I did this tradition for them, and they have to

538
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:43,680
Speaker 2: do it for me. So really the only argument is like, yeah,

539
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:44,960
Speaker 2: you get to hold on to it as long as

540
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,480
Speaker 2: you want, but then you don't get to complain about

541
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:48,440
Speaker 2: it like that.

542
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 3: That was the part, right was I have to put

543
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:54,280
Speaker 3: a reverse morgage. You have to do.

544
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:59,680
Speaker 2: Your house well. Victim. So that's why I realize a

545
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:03,040
Speaker 2: lot of that stuff about oh my god, they don't

546
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:08,520
Speaker 2: want to do insert holiday here anymore. It's like that's

547
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:10,840
Speaker 2: putting me in victim mode, like I'm a victim of

548
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:14,520
Speaker 2: their whims. No, but I'm not a victim if I go, oh,

549
00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:16,640
Speaker 2: what did it feel like, let me do that for myself.

550
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:18,359
Speaker 2: And the first three years it is a little wonky

551
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 2: and wobbly, and then you suddenly are like, that was

552
00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:23,119
Speaker 2: pretty good. I remember the first year because it was COVID.

553
00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:28,399
Speaker 2: Remember they had COVID, and hey, they nobody could do

554
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:30,880
Speaker 2: anything New Year's Eve, and I remember going, oh, man,

555
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:33,199
Speaker 2: that's weird because I never liked New Year's Eve, but

556
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:37,680
Speaker 2: I felt I should should do something. I remember staying home.

557
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:41,440
Speaker 2: I was at the gayest New Year's ever. I watched

558
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 2: it in the heights and the prom on Netflix. I

559
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:48,360
Speaker 2: looked at my watch. It was twelve thirty. It was done.

560
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:50,080
Speaker 2: I was like, that was so much fun.

561
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:51,200
Speaker 3: Did you kiss anybody?

562
00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:54,480
Speaker 2: My dog? I totally tongued him and gave him anal

563
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:57,800
Speaker 2: So I just drop it on for that dog, like

564
00:28:57,840 --> 00:28:58,360
Speaker 2: that's love.

565
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, you fuck a dog? That makes sense? Like yeah, cornhole,

566
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:02,480
Speaker 3: cornhold dogs.

567
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 2: Thank you, cornholl of Collie. That's my new charity, collecting

568
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 2: money for dildos for animals.

569
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:11,160
Speaker 3: You're welcome, deserve pleasure to all.

570
00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:14,480
Speaker 2: Right, So we solved your problem. Work on yourself and

571
00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:16,920
Speaker 2: have a nice, peaceful time in Maine, and maybe your

572
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:19,840
Speaker 2: brother will die in a plane crash. Go ahead, Oh God,

573
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:20,960
Speaker 2: probably will Okay.

574
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:24,920
Speaker 3: Hey Lisa, Hey huge.

575
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:26,000
Speaker 2: Fan, No you're not a liar.

576
00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 3: I am. My name is Marissa. I'm thirty four living

577
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:35,200
Speaker 3: in Queen's Oh and my family takes Thanksgiving way too serious.

578
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:37,400
Speaker 3: Oh boy, oh this already gives me. This is, by

579
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:40,360
Speaker 3: the way, real quick. Marrying a woman like this is

580
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:41,440
Speaker 3: my fucking nightmare.

581
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:44,160
Speaker 2: Then you better make sure whoever you date has dead parents.

582
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 3: I'll talk about another thing after this before I forget.

583
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:50,520
Speaker 3: But anyway, see, they take Thanksgiving way too seriously, like

584
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 3: assign rolls and printed itinerary.

585
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 2: Serious. That's very that's out of a bad movie. That's

586
00:29:57,880 --> 00:29:59,760
Speaker 2: not right. You shouldn't do that anyway.

587
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:03,120
Speaker 3: God, cousin tried to bring mac and cheese last year,

588
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:05,840
Speaker 3: and my aunt acted like she pissed on the turkey.

589
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 2: I mean she did, she did.

590
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:09,920
Speaker 3: I mean that's how. That's where you get the flavor.

591
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:13,720
Speaker 3: And god forbid, someone suggests we don't do the exact

592
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 3: same menu from nineteen eighty six.

593
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:19,680
Speaker 2: Those were very good years. Shut out, those were good years.

594
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:23,200
Speaker 3: I wasn't born yet. My uncle said changing the stuffing

595
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 3: recipe was disrespectful to our anis do you mean.

596
00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:29,560
Speaker 2: The mayflower relatives that you.

597
00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:31,400
Speaker 3: Came in Native American rule.

598
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:35,880
Speaker 2: I fucking hate the whole. An says, how about the Italians?

599
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:39,880
Speaker 2: They want to put sausage in it. Well that's great,

600
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:41,160
Speaker 2: so we can't change things.

601
00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:44,000
Speaker 3: One year, me and my family we did Mexican food

602
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:46,880
Speaker 3: on Thanksgiving because everyone said, fuck it. Everyone's like, no

603
00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:49,040
Speaker 3: one wants to this ship enough and it was anyway,

604
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:52,360
Speaker 3: and then she goes, it's stuffing. It's not sacred text.

605
00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 3: I love a good tradition, but not when it feels

606
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:57,240
Speaker 3: like a hostage situation with cranberry sauce.

607
00:30:57,320 --> 00:31:00,160
Speaker 2: Well yeah, see, that's the thing. When people start feeling

608
00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:03,320
Speaker 2: put upon, that's the time to like pull the reins

609
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:04,640
Speaker 2: in a little bit. You know.

610
00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:05,880
Speaker 3: It's a lot, man.

611
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:10,000
Speaker 2: It's like, I, Oh, what's crazy is if people just

612
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 2: knew that at the root of all that activity, they're

613
00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:16,360
Speaker 2: just trying to capture the memory of the past, and

614
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 2: the memory guess what is in there, it will live forever.

615
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 2: So I remember one of my best Thanksgivings was I

616
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:28,440
Speaker 2: was just out of college. I was renting like house

617
00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:33,040
Speaker 2: in Monroe, I think Connecticut and or somewhere like that,

618
00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:35,240
Speaker 2: and my brother was coming home and it was a

619
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:37,960
Speaker 2: day before Thanksgiving. He was coming home from college and

620
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:42,600
Speaker 2: I remember Hungary Heart by Bruce Springsteen. He loved that song.

621
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:45,800
Speaker 2: We love the clash rock the Kasmo. So we had

622
00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:48,240
Speaker 2: all the vinyl records. It's the day before Thanksgiving. They're

623
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 2: on the record play at my mom's house and she's

624
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:55,680
Speaker 2: cooking and yelling about the turkey and the Lendy help

625
00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:59,320
Speaker 2: me with basing this fucking thing. Whenever my brother's just

626
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 2: laughing and saying along, and I'm like, that memory lives there.

627
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 2: I literally know what my brother was wearing. That is enough.

628
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:12,000
Speaker 2: So the whole thing is that try and desperately to

629
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:15,640
Speaker 2: recapture that. If I was so insane, and again people

630
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 2: who do this fully respect, But if I said, Okay,

631
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:22,120
Speaker 2: so we're gonna like make the turkey like Mom did,

632
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:24,160
Speaker 2: I'm gonna get the record player, we're gonna put the

633
00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:26,720
Speaker 2: records on and we're gonna dance around, and it's like,

634
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 2: you're nuts. It's like that's a little wacky. So but

635
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:33,720
Speaker 2: the good thing is if her family and she could

636
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:36,480
Speaker 2: just get their heads around, it lives inside of us.

637
00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 2: The memories really never go and we can't recapture it

638
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:44,120
Speaker 2: because my brother's no longer seventeen years old in college

639
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:47,440
Speaker 2: and I'm not, like, you know, living in a rental

640
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 2: house in Monroe, and like it was the years when

641
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:56,240
Speaker 2: everybody had seen probably the movies where every hipster has

642
00:32:56,720 --> 00:32:59,080
Speaker 2: a movie camera and you're making films. Could you have

643
00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:01,520
Speaker 2: your punk hair like all that souff, Like it's ever

644
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:04,240
Speaker 2: gonna be that time again? The boy, It's nice that

645
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:04,920
Speaker 2: it happened.

646
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:09,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I used to do. I think for me,

647
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:12,680
Speaker 3: I remember the year of twenty twelve was like such

648
00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:16,160
Speaker 3: a fun, amazing year for me and my friends and

649
00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:17,960
Speaker 3: we all went out all the time and it was great,

650
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:21,440
Speaker 3: and it was right when everyone got home from college. Yeah,

651
00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:24,000
Speaker 3: and you're you guys, are you're making money now and

652
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:26,680
Speaker 3: like you're like this is wild and you're all home again.

653
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:30,360
Speaker 3: And then when that started to dissipate, when people started

654
00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 3: to move in with each other and get married and

655
00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 3: relationships and move away, I had like a real tough

656
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:38,720
Speaker 3: time with like, oh, man, like I know this isn't

657
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 3: a holiday.

658
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:41,480
Speaker 2: But like just it feels like one.

659
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:43,800
Speaker 3: I was like, shit, dude, like it's over, Like this

660
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 3: is over and you try to recreate it whatever, and

661
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:49,000
Speaker 3: like no, no, let's go Hey, guys, remember we should

662
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:51,800
Speaker 3: go bar and Stanford. Remember we all used to go

663
00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:53,920
Speaker 3: to and say, everyone's like, I gotta work at six am.

664
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:56,280
Speaker 3: I know I'm over this and you're like, right, okay,

665
00:33:56,880 --> 00:34:00,800
Speaker 3: but yeah, that stuff trying to recreate it can be.

666
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:03,240
Speaker 3: And I remember for years feeling that way, like years

667
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:06,360
Speaker 3: being like remember twenty twelve, I know, and we would.

668
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:09,279
Speaker 2: All I know, yeah, but isn't it funny? How like

669
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:13,359
Speaker 2: both of us have said, it felt sad. It felt

670
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:17,200
Speaker 2: like a letdown. I think people either skip to anger

671
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,040
Speaker 2: or they skip to activity of like, well, we'll do

672
00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:21,560
Speaker 2: it this way instead, how about we just do this?

673
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:23,920
Speaker 2: How about you instead of just going wow, I really

674
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:28,239
Speaker 2: feel sad. And that's the lesson here is that I'm

675
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:30,040
Speaker 2: allowed to feel sad and move on and see what

676
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:31,400
Speaker 2: else finds its way in.

677
00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:33,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, and so memories I know.

678
00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 2: And guess what, they're not bad. Honestly, I will never

679
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:40,799
Speaker 2: regret the things that happened in the past few years

680
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:44,319
Speaker 2: that weren't how my parents used to do things. And

681
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:47,560
Speaker 2: you just don't you know, I remember this year they

682
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:54,360
Speaker 2: have probably sixty between them and me, sixty enormous crates

683
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:59,000
Speaker 2: of Christmas decorations sixty. Yeah, and I'm very organized. It's

684
00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:02,920
Speaker 2: all very organized and in each and I felt almost

685
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:07,160
Speaker 2: a betrayal if I didn't put everything out. And then

686
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:11,719
Speaker 2: I'm like, wait a minute, I'm gonna see what it

687
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:15,720
Speaker 2: feels like to look at everything, go through the boxes

688
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:18,160
Speaker 2: and just take out the stuff that's speaking to me.

689
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:21,279
Speaker 2: And again, it's like a slow process. It's sad, it's

690
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:26,560
Speaker 2: whatever it is, and like, the house looks so nice.

691
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 2: But I noticed, just by even looking at the stuff,

692
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 2: it felt like I honored their things or their memories, like, oh,

693
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:34,920
Speaker 2: so it doesn't have to look the house doesn't have

694
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:39,960
Speaker 2: to look like they had it. It has to feel

695
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:43,959
Speaker 2: like I'm having them in my mind when I'm doing

696
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,399
Speaker 2: this stuff. At least for now. Maybe someday I won't

697
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:48,200
Speaker 2: even feel like that. That it's just enough to be like,

698
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:50,640
Speaker 2: oh it's fine, it's cute this way, but I like

699
00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 2: just going you work through it. You have some chance

700
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:56,520
Speaker 2: of growth. The thing when you're kind of telling your

701
00:35:56,560 --> 00:36:00,359
Speaker 2: family they have to do certain things. No growth's more

702
00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:03,920
Speaker 2: healthy growth or no growth. I think we all know growth.

703
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:06,040
Speaker 2: Thank you? Wow you won?

704
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:07,399
Speaker 3: Did I get it right?

705
00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:11,360
Speaker 2: Yeah? You ding ding ding? Where's the oh my god.

706
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:14,840
Speaker 3: It's like, okay, go ahead, you give yourself Like like,

707
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:17,240
Speaker 3: for example, this happened recent my buddy's wife turned forty

708
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:19,719
Speaker 3: and he threw like an old school got a food

709
00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:22,480
Speaker 3: truck and he said, no kids, they all have kids.

710
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:25,440
Speaker 3: He's like, get babysitters. We're having an old school adult

711
00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:28,000
Speaker 3: beer pong. There was a list like it was it

712
00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:30,440
Speaker 3: was where I was playing video games upstairs on my buddies,

713
00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:32,560
Speaker 3: and like, that's a brand new memory that now I'll

714
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:34,440
Speaker 3: think about it right all the time, and it was

715
00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:36,759
Speaker 3: great and it's and it's more fun now because those

716
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:38,400
Speaker 3: moments are few and far between.

717
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:40,839
Speaker 2: I think every week. I think you're right. I think

718
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:44,160
Speaker 2: part of it is that the less is more proves

719
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:47,040
Speaker 2: that it is really more, because oh wow, now I

720
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:50,400
Speaker 2: fully remembered that. Also, it's like letting things happen naturally.

721
00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:53,360
Speaker 2: He wasn't forcing anything. Remember last year for my birthday,

722
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:55,719
Speaker 2: I was like, I don't really want to do anything.

723
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:58,520
Speaker 2: I was like, I don't know. And my friend Bonnie

724
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:01,200
Speaker 2: is really bougie, so she's like, what's your favorite restaurant.

725
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,439
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, John, George or Danielle. But I don't

726
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:06,480
Speaker 2: want to be fancy, Like that's not me anymore, and

727
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:09,680
Speaker 2: it occurs to me out of nowhere. I want to

728
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:14,399
Speaker 2: have like a thing where I hire a dancer who

729
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:16,920
Speaker 2: knows how to do line dances, not country or anything,

730
00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:21,600
Speaker 2: but like funny like ballroomy line dancy things, and I

731
00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:23,719
Speaker 2: like put everyone on the list who I have a

732
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:26,279
Speaker 2: big you know, feeling towards like who are just fun

733
00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:29,799
Speaker 2: and funny and cool. And I was like, Oh that

734
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:34,120
Speaker 2: came because I was on the inside making happen how

735
00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:38,400
Speaker 2: I felt on the inside, like playful fun, not in

736
00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:41,360
Speaker 2: the least traditional, like anything I've ever had before. And

737
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:43,520
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, that wouldn't have happened if I was

738
00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:46,920
Speaker 2: forcing something else. And that's what these traditions do sometimes,

739
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:51,160
Speaker 2: So pissing the stuffing is what I have to say. Yeah,

740
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:52,680
Speaker 2: do we have one more more?

741
00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:56,200
Speaker 3: Melanie from Brookline, Massachusetts.

742
00:37:56,320 --> 00:38:06,080
Speaker 2: Yeah.

743
00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:08,319
Speaker 3: My birthday has always been a big deal to me

744
00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:11,160
Speaker 3: and I love to celebrate it with my friends and family.

745
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:17,839
Speaker 3: My wife diminishes it now, saying I'm forty two. Kind

746
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:20,399
Speaker 3: of funny, I'm forty two, and what adults still care

747
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:25,640
Speaker 3: so much about their birthday? I is wanting to celebrate

748
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:27,479
Speaker 3: your birthday childish at a certain age.

749
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:32,520
Speaker 2: Thanks Melanie, I don't think it's childish. I think if

750
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:35,640
Speaker 2: it's a thing where you're making everyone else do the

751
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:40,040
Speaker 2: work and run make it special for you when you're

752
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:42,239
Speaker 2: not doing anything to help yourself. I used to have

753
00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:45,960
Speaker 2: a friend who every year she wanted her birthday enormous,

754
00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:49,360
Speaker 2: but was willing to do nothing to make it happen.

755
00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:53,480
Speaker 2: So it fell to like six people to like, make

756
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:57,320
Speaker 2: the magic happen for Sophie. Just make the magic. And

757
00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:59,320
Speaker 2: we're like, but we don't even like her that much, okay,

758
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:01,960
Speaker 2: but like we got to make the magic. And eventually

759
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:05,719
Speaker 2: it was my job. Because I'm the least codependent of

760
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:08,879
Speaker 2: the group, I just go, guess what. Guess what I'm

761
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:12,840
Speaker 2: happy doing for old soap. She's getting a fucking dinner

762
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:16,960
Speaker 2: out at some fucking restaurant that we all like and

763
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:19,680
Speaker 2: cake at my house. And do you know, ever since then,

764
00:39:19,719 --> 00:39:22,919
Speaker 2: I haven't resented her at all. I've had a great

765
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:25,680
Speaker 2: time doing it because it's on my terms. Because if

766
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:27,200
Speaker 2: I'm doing all the work, I'm gonna do with the

767
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:30,239
Speaker 2: work that I like, which is hosting games and cake

768
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:32,359
Speaker 2: and stuff at my house. So I think with this

769
00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:35,000
Speaker 2: it's like it's not foolish to love your birthday. I

770
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:37,840
Speaker 2: used to think that. I was like, oh, these fucking

771
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:41,320
Speaker 2: jerks have to Oh you're so speak beauty. But then'

772
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:45,160
Speaker 2: like it's one thing you got God bless Yeah. Also, ps,

773
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:47,440
Speaker 2: that's a whole other subject people thinking that's all they have,

774
00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:49,480
Speaker 2: Like the other three hundred and sixty four days are

775
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:52,960
Speaker 2: pretty big too, so stuppying asshole. So first of all,

776
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:54,840
Speaker 2: what's his name? This? This this somo?

777
00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:58,360
Speaker 3: No clam is clam.

778
00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:01,200
Speaker 2: Hey, Melanie, No, this clam needs to make all the

779
00:40:01,239 --> 00:40:04,160
Speaker 2: other days feel a little elevated, And I feel like

780
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:05,960
Speaker 2: that you're one day and the rest days of shit.

781
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:09,400
Speaker 2: That's sometimes the problem with birthday people. I also don't

782
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:12,120
Speaker 2: like birthday people who go, it's my birthday month. No,

783
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:15,200
Speaker 2: you get one fucking day and it doesn't have to

784
00:40:15,239 --> 00:40:16,920
Speaker 2: be the day of. It could be a Saturday or

785
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:19,239
Speaker 2: Sunday around it, but it can't be a birthday month.

786
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:20,439
Speaker 2: Nobody likes you that much.

787
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:21,000
Speaker 3: Disgusting.

788
00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:23,640
Speaker 2: I know. I hate those people. So I think it's

789
00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:26,920
Speaker 2: okay to be a birthday person. But also you have

790
00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:30,799
Speaker 2: to kind of share the load. You can't make it

791
00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:33,080
Speaker 2: be well. My friends know this about me, so they

792
00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:35,359
Speaker 2: have to do it. No, they they leave you in

793
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:36,080
Speaker 2: the dust, bitch.

794
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:40,480
Speaker 3: Yeah it's I mean, I know for me, for my

795
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:44,000
Speaker 3: birth because I don't have a big immediate family, I

796
00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:46,279
Speaker 3: would always use my birthday just as an excuse. I

797
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:49,600
Speaker 3: would plan everything though. Yeah, like I wouldn't just say, yeah,

798
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:52,120
Speaker 3: it's my birthday, take me out. No, that's not sane.

799
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:54,719
Speaker 3: I would use it, especially as my friends got older

800
00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:56,360
Speaker 3: and when they got married. I would just use it

801
00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:58,279
Speaker 3: as an excuse to be like, hey, we're going to

802
00:40:58,320 --> 00:40:58,839
Speaker 3: dinner here.

803
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:02,239
Speaker 2: Yes, it's a great and you make the plan. You

804
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:05,800
Speaker 2: make the plan, but also get the where you're an asshole.

805
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:10,160
Speaker 2: Get this, Celia, this fucking guy. We say to him, Look,

806
00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:13,120
Speaker 2: we have this tradition you've heard about, which is the

807
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:16,480
Speaker 2: three guys in me every Tuesday week go to the

808
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:20,480
Speaker 2: diner ostensibly right stuff, but it never happens. And so

809
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:24,040
Speaker 2: it's just fun. It's a little community of idiots. So

810
00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:28,399
Speaker 2: Nick's birthdays, like we're gonna be on Wednesday. We meet

811
00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:30,239
Speaker 2: on Tuesday. So we're like, oh, like, we'll take you

812
00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:32,600
Speaker 2: out free birthday instead, And I go, do you want

813
00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:35,080
Speaker 2: to go to Sally's Pizza? Cause it's like Connecticut's famous

814
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:38,360
Speaker 2: for pizza. And he's like, no, I just kind of

815
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:40,520
Speaker 2: want to go to the diner. I'm like, oh, that's nice.

816
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:44,440
Speaker 2: I go for sure, and he's like, yeah, Well he

817
00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:48,720
Speaker 2: picks that fucking week that he asks the fucking load

818
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:52,440
Speaker 2: up he's eating for power lifting. He gets a steak,

819
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:58,400
Speaker 2: he gets a shrimp boat, he gets a baked potato soup,

820
00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:04,200
Speaker 2: everything in a the cake. I said, this, motherfucker, that

821
00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:08,520
Speaker 2: was fifty dollars. I don't like it. We're gonna get

822
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:11,480
Speaker 2: pizza salads who cost me fucking twenty each. Now we're

823
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:16,279
Speaker 2: each maying fifty dollars. No, I would have liked it better.

824
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:21,960
Speaker 2: It's my birthday. God damn it. The guy he decides

825
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:25,560
Speaker 2: that's the week that protein is of the utmost importance

826
00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:29,120
Speaker 2: to the only reason. What a fat bastard. And you

827
00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:31,479
Speaker 2: went and you also did. He did the thing where

828
00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:33,960
Speaker 2: these guys who think they lift weights but are just large.

829
00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:39,040
Speaker 2: He gets rice with four fucking eggs. Alright, it's disgusting

830
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:41,959
Speaker 2: eggs because they got a carb.

831
00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:44,880
Speaker 3: What do you do with that a taste?

832
00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:49,720
Speaker 2: It's stupid. Nobody likes those eggs like that. No, what

833
00:42:49,719 --> 00:42:55,440
Speaker 2: what did you say? Just like I was disgusted. No

834
00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:59,200
Speaker 2: one cares. So next birthday for you, we go to

835
00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:04,000
Speaker 2: Sally's Fine and you pay what there you go.

836
00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:06,520
Speaker 3: I'll be honest, I'll tell you why I picked the

837
00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:09,120
Speaker 3: diner simply because I don't have to dress up but

838
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:11,480
Speaker 3: on jeans exactly, so.

839
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:13,320
Speaker 2: You don't exactly come there in style.

840
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:16,279
Speaker 3: I feel like I have to, like if I come

841
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:17,719
Speaker 3: there in a hoodie and sweat like, I'm like.

842
00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:20,120
Speaker 2: Okay, so you like your see I like that, know

843
00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:22,879
Speaker 2: one your comfort level for how you dress, like your

844
00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:23,920
Speaker 2: parties and things.

845
00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:24,640
Speaker 3: Especially the winter.

846
00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:27,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have the worst birthday. March.

847
00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:31,759
Speaker 3: March sucks because the birthday. My birthday's March twelfth, and

848
00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:36,000
Speaker 3: literally every year on my birthday it's either sixty degrees

849
00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:39,040
Speaker 3: in sunny or a snowstorm or you know, it doesn't

850
00:43:39,040 --> 00:43:39,880
Speaker 3: You don't know what the fuck's going.

851
00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 2: What it costs me less to plow my driveway and

852
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:45,920
Speaker 2: buy you a fucking steak of four eggs. Shut up,

853
00:43:46,320 --> 00:43:49,840
Speaker 2: we gotta go. So my advice to you is to

854
00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:53,719
Speaker 2: say fuck traditions, make your own, have fun, feel your feelings,

855
00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:55,880
Speaker 2: and shut the fuck up and listen to our podcast.

856
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:56,759
Speaker 2: What do you say? Nick?

857
00:43:57,440 --> 00:43:59,360
Speaker 3: I agree? Thanks, for listening.

858
00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:07,040
Speaker 2: Everyone, is that one of those eggs cock?

859
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 3: Thanks for listening. Be sure to email us your questions

860
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Speaker 3: maybe if you want to. You want to at shrink

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Speaker 3: This Show at gmail dot com. That's Shrink this Show

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00:44:18,880 --> 00:44:22,000
Speaker 3: at gmail dot com. Make sure to follow me on

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00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:24,719
Speaker 3: social media at Nick Scopes on Instagram and TikTok, and

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00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:28,680
Speaker 3: follow her Lisa Lampinelli at least Lampinelli. And make sure

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Speaker 3: to listen to Shrink This on your iHeartRadio app.

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Speaker 2: Yes, wherever you get your other mediocre.

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Speaker 3: Podcast podcast, you listen to it on iHeart because we're

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Speaker 3: on iHeart and helps is my uncle, and that's why

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Speaker 3: I'm getting

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Speaker 2: By