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Speaker 1: My husband thinks I cheated, and what's a paternity test?

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Speaker 1: But there's something he doesn't know. I actually did cheat.

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Speaker 1: Same banter point, baby, two great buds think alike? Is

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Speaker 1: that how we want to think alike? Though? Is that

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Speaker 1: the telepathic connection that.

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Speaker 2: We was It's a telethon. It's a telepathic connection we

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Speaker 2: have and that we should be grateful for.

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Speaker 1: That is true. That is true, and it comes from

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Speaker 1: two thousand stories.

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Speaker 2: Oh you know a rainbow. Put a rainbow in my

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Speaker 2: hands and make make John lepre Kahn and my pottic

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Speaker 2: cold at the end. You be.

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Speaker 1: Me pot of gold. Don't get me started. All right, boys,

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Speaker 1: let's do this. My twenty four female husband thirty one

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Speaker 1: male and I have three children. Our son looks exactly

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Speaker 1: like him, dark skin and dark eyes and hair, but

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Speaker 1: our daughter does not. She looks exactly like my great grandparents,

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Speaker 1: really pale, blonde and green eye. But apparently he didn't

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Speaker 1: think it was possible that our daughter could look like

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Speaker 1: my great grandparents. We always say, Sam should fucking open

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Speaker 1: up a biology textbook, baby, please? Uh, we should start

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Speaker 1: We should start a campaign, uh biology textbooks for idiots,

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Speaker 1: sending it to all the idiots, worldwide.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I did just send it to every toddler read

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Speaker 2: this idiot.

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Speaker 1: Stupid And from the moment he saw her, he told

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Speaker 1: me that he wanted a fraternity test. Wait, wait, are

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Speaker 1: we talking like straight out in the you know this

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Speaker 1: is not mine? What are you talking about?

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Speaker 2: This person looks like my grandfather and we all know

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Speaker 2: my grandfather was a notorious fernanda. This says my grandfather's baby.

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Speaker 1: You chated just like aided. I knew you were alike.

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Speaker 1: You're related, aren't you?

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Speaker 2: You're related?

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Speaker 1: And you fucked? Oh my god, I know you've had

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Speaker 1: a thing for guilphs. Oh god. Wait a second was

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Speaker 1: that when we were going I've lost father as I'd

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Speaker 1: like to bang? Uh oh, I get to the sex thing.

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Speaker 1: We got the sign all right. At first I refused

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Speaker 1: because I felt like it was humiliating and because I

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Speaker 1: didn't think it was necessary because I never cheated on

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Speaker 1: him and I hoped he would trust me, but he didn't.

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Speaker 2: And for the right you think he trusts you, bro?

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Speaker 1: You only have children together in a marriage, Like, why

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Speaker 1: would he ever trust you?

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Speaker 2: Bro? When you got a guilf like that running around?

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Speaker 1: You can't trust no one, don't you know that, don't

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Speaker 1: you know that marriages are built on lies and hedonistic passion. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that is, It's what they should be at least first

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Speaker 1: rule for successful marriage. And for the first two months

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Speaker 1: of our daughter's life, he made my life a living hell?

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Speaker 2: What did he do? What do you do? John?

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Speaker 1: He didn't want to hold her even if she cried

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Speaker 1: desperately while I was doing something.

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Speaker 2: Else because gross, Why I came out looking like my grandfather.

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Speaker 2: She has Benjamin Button's disease. I don't want it.

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Speaker 1: He never woke up at night to help me with her.

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Speaker 1: He never helped me with anything, and that hurt me

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Speaker 1: so much.

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Speaker 2: Being a deep sleeper.

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Speaker 1: Come on, and with our boys, he was completely different.

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Speaker 1: He helped me all the time with absolutely everything, and

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Speaker 1: he was always there for me after giving birth.

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Speaker 2: He really thinks she cheated.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but this time he left me alone and it

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Speaker 1: was the worst experience of my life. It's like just

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Speaker 1: like not even engaging.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: There's just something about that that's just like so cold wrong.

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Speaker 1: He looked like a frog.

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Speaker 2: My butt hurts. I'm gonna do it like this for

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Speaker 2: the rest of the episode. I like.

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Speaker 1: I also like the slow spinning just gradually turning, do

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Speaker 1: you have any pillows any like?

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Speaker 2: I got pol pillows right here, baby.

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Speaker 1: Dude, we don't have enough. We don't have enough meat.

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Speaker 1: Speak for yourself in a trunk.

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Speaker 2: That is.

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Speaker 1: I have no family here, and his entire family from

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Speaker 1: the moment they saw my daughter turned their backs on me.

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Speaker 2: Oh so the entire family is like, you're not my daughter.

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Speaker 1: Yeah? His uh like Opie's the husband's whole family. I

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Speaker 1: love this. This is a great addition. It's it's it's

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Speaker 1: it's this is your therapy, gecko therapy frog so good

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Speaker 1: at that. I don't have any friends here either, so

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Speaker 1: it was just my daughter and me. She what is

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Speaker 1: what does kolaki mean?

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Speaker 2: Colic is when and otherwise healthy baby cries or fusses

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Speaker 2: frequently for no clear reason.

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Speaker 1: Got it, I'm gonna say colicky so that way people

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Speaker 1: will be mad at me. She is a kolaky baby.

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Speaker 1: So it was very difficult for me to do everything alone,

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Speaker 1: and on top of that help with our sons. I

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Speaker 1: decided to do the paternity test because one day his

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Speaker 1: entire family came to our house to celebrate my son's birthday,

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Speaker 1: and nobody spoke to me and they didn't want to

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Speaker 1: include my daughter in the photos that my in laws

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Speaker 1: took of the grandchildren.

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Speaker 2: Why is the whole family on board? Do they also

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Speaker 2: not know how genetics work?

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Speaker 1: Apparently? Apparently everyone is just maybe Also, also, we've seen

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Speaker 1: this before. Maybe the husband, you know, spun a you know,

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Speaker 1: took his little kernel or something and spun this crazy tale. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: It sounds like something he would do.

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Speaker 1: So I knew it was stupid to keep waiting for

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Speaker 1: them to come to their senses. Well, the paternity test

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Speaker 1: came back and obviously he's the father, and that paternity

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Speaker 1: test was not negative. It was positive. The baby is Op.

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Speaker 2: In her husband's okay, point blank, Garry Confused for a second,

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Speaker 2: I was like, wait, what.

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Speaker 1: Three for a loop? The baby is theirs, The baby

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Speaker 1: is the husband's. And everyone was shocked, and of course

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Speaker 1: they felt guilty for not believing in me. Dude, I

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Speaker 1: would be I would be so angry if I was

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Speaker 1: in Op's position.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I mean I wouldn't want to be with

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Speaker 2: that guy anymore for sure. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Everyone apologized, and my husband even cried when he held

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Speaker 1: our daughter in his arms for the first time. And

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Speaker 1: I know that his apologies were genuine, and that's why

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Speaker 1: I forgive him. But I don't know if I can

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Speaker 1: forgive his family.

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Speaker 2: Dang, wait you could. You can forgive him, but not

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Speaker 2: his family. He was probably the ones spreading the lies

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Speaker 2: to his family. Yeah, why would you forgive him and

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Speaker 2: not his family? That doesn't mean any sense.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the fam and also to like the family. It's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: this is like a cousin or whatever, like this is

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Speaker 1: his own daughter, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: They treated me really badly and said horrible things about

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Speaker 1: me just a few days after giving birth, and I

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Speaker 1: can't forget their insults or violence. My husband knows that

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Speaker 1: I don't want to see his family, nor do I

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Speaker 1: want them anywhere near any of our children, and he

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Speaker 1: told his family. So these last few months, it's just

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Speaker 1: been the five of us, but it doesn't feel as

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Speaker 1: good as I expect it. My husband is constantly apologizing

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Speaker 1: and crying every time he holds our daughter, and I'm

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Speaker 1: getting tired of the situation, which I could see. You know.

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Speaker 2: It's just like like, bro, stop crying a little whiny baby.

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Speaker 1: You did, Yeah, you're the baby baby, and I'm not

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Speaker 1: nursing you, buddy, keep that out the way from these titties. No, milk,

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Speaker 1: I want us to be happy as we were before.

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Speaker 1: So how can we move on? My husband suggested that

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Speaker 1: we should start couples therapy. How much can therapy really help?

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Speaker 2: You can help a lot?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it can.

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Speaker 2: And that's what therapy is for. It's it's for helping

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Speaker 2: a lot exactly.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, having someone outside of the perspective that's done it

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Speaker 1: a hundred times, Yeah, help you.

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Speaker 2: Do it literally, that is that is what therapy helped.

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Speaker 1: Sam. I'm gonna eat this hamburger. But will it fill

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Speaker 1: my stomach?

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Speaker 2: Yes, most likely?

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Speaker 1: Or will it but yeah no? In all seriousness, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think uh yeah, see, I agree. I feel like

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Speaker 1: pretty quick, easy light forgiveness, at least off rip for

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Speaker 1: the husband where when he seems.

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Speaker 2: To deserve like a you know, a few lashings for sure. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: at least more than the family.

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Speaker 1: And I would just bet money that like whatever he

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Speaker 1: told them was more exaggerated. If everybody in the family

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Speaker 1: like is not willing to like, look at you take

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Speaker 1: a picture with your child, like I don't know, that's

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Speaker 1: that's kind of crazy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's crazy that like a whole family would have

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Speaker 2: gone against the wife without there being some meddling of

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Speaker 2: some sort. Yeah, like hat do I have said some

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Speaker 2: things consistently to all those people.

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Speaker 1: I am suspicious. There were some comments, what exactly happened

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Speaker 1: with the violence? Why haven't you taken your children back

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Speaker 1: to your family? His sister pulled my hair during a fight,

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Speaker 1: a one sided fight, by the way, as I never

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Speaker 1: responded to her insults, and his mother also did it

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Speaker 1: on another occasion. I'm planning to go visit my family

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Speaker 1: in a few months. You know. They literally fought her.

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Speaker 1: Weit fought who ope? Oh they Oh his sister thought, ope,

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Speaker 1: his sister and his mom got he had to be

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Speaker 1: spinning some crazy lives. Yeah, come on, no one just

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Speaker 1: like does that off rip like looking.

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Speaker 2: At a kid?

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Speaker 1: No, no, no way, gosh. And she and she like

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Speaker 1: I would have to assume with her mentioning her her

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Speaker 1: grandparents that she mentioned that to Op as well. So

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Speaker 1: OPI had at least that information, my goodness, and no one,

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Speaker 1: no one had the information of biology ninth rid textbook apparents. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Fortunately, unfortunately.

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Speaker 1: How old were you when you got together with your husband?

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Speaker 1: I was eighteen. Has he ever mistrusted you for no

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Speaker 1: reason or refused to listen to you before. Is this

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Speaker 1: a common occurrence? No, this was the first time. And

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Speaker 1: how old were you when you had your first kid?

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Speaker 1: Nineteen years old?

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Speaker 2: So so p now again? Twenty something, twenty fourty four,

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Speaker 2: twenty four.

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Speaker 1: He's thirty one. Come on, like, you're old enough, bro

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Speaker 1: old enough, you are a grown man. But we have

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Speaker 1: an update.

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Speaker 2: Okay, let's hear it.

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Speaker 1: I think before I update, I should clarify a few

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Speaker 1: things in context. I know I should have said it originally,

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Speaker 1: but I didn't that many people believe some things that

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Speaker 1: aren't true. Before I got pregnant, I met a man.

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Speaker 1: I think he's in his early fifties at work, and

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Speaker 1: you could say that he's a little too friendly. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so maybe way so oh shit, met a man Okay,

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Speaker 1: we've met so far. For example, he liked to buy

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Speaker 1: me and another female coworker she's in her late fifties,

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Speaker 1: coffee every morning or once in a while. He used

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Speaker 1: to leave a flower on our desks and things like that.

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Speaker 1: That never seems strange to me because he never tried

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Speaker 1: anything with us. He was always just friendly and he

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Speaker 1: was always talking about his wife, children and grandchildren and

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Speaker 1: giving us parenting advice. Well, here we go, Sam, here

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Speaker 1: we go. Well, my husband did not like that I

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Speaker 1: was friends with this man because he said that he

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Speaker 1: was sure that this man liked me because I'm young,

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Speaker 1: and that he would soon try something on me. And

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Speaker 1: when he told me that, I told him that I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't stop being friends with him because he was always

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Speaker 1: respectful and I did didn't see anything wrong with being

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Speaker 1: friends with the man, and I'm not gonna lie. He

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Speaker 1: got really angry, but after a few days he forgot

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Speaker 1: about it. Okay, So I think where it's where I'd

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Speaker 1: say that.

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Speaker 2: This is probably this is probably where some of his

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Speaker 2: crust issues originate.

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Speaker 1: But all those doubts resurfaced when our daughter was born

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Speaker 1: because she had a lot of platinum blonde hair, which

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Speaker 1: neither of our other children five and four male had,

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Speaker 1: and my husband thought that she would look like her brothers,

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Speaker 1: but no, she looked completely different from him and me,

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Speaker 1: and that made him doubt. My coworker is not blonde,

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Speaker 1: but he has the same eye color as our daughter,

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Speaker 1: and he's pale like her. So my husband asked me

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Speaker 1: for a paternity test and I refused. Because it was humiliating,

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Speaker 1: and because I thought that at least he would educate

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Speaker 1: himself about basic biology, but he didn't and refused to

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Speaker 1: do so. And when I say this, I mean that

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Speaker 1: my great grandparents look exactly like my daughter, same hair, color, eyes, skin,

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Speaker 1: and she mixed to this nerd. Yeah yeah, yeah, really right.

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Speaker 1: He always knew this, but decided to ignore it and

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Speaker 1: believe that I was cheating on him. And I know

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Speaker 1: that I helped the situation escalate and end badly because

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Speaker 1: I should have accepted the paternity test. And I say

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Speaker 1: this because here it is not easy to do a

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Speaker 1: paternity test without the authorization of both parents. I don't

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Speaker 1: know that she's necessarily at fault for you know, once

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Speaker 1: you bring up the paternity test, what does it imply.

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Speaker 1: It implies you not only cheated, you not only had

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Speaker 1: a child with another person, but that you're like lying

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Speaker 1: about it and trying to pass it off as their kids.

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Speaker 2: So it's a serious accusation.

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Speaker 1: It's a very serious accusation. And regarding his sister and mother,

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Speaker 1: they never liked me, and for a while we even

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Speaker 1: stopped having contact with his family because they didn't like

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Speaker 1: the way they treated me. But when our second son

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Speaker 1: was born, I felt alone because it was just my husband,

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Speaker 1: his friend, and our son. And I wanted my children

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Speaker 1: to grow up with a family, so we got back

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Speaker 1: in touch with them, and in fact, they treated me

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Speaker 1: very well up until my daughter was born. And when

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Speaker 1: they pulled my hair, my husband wasn't present and I

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Speaker 1: didn't tell him until a few weeks later, and by

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Speaker 1: then they had a big fight because of that. I

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Speaker 1: swear that he was never violent, nor did he ever

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Speaker 1: endorse anyone being anything like that with me. Well, the

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Speaker 1: update is I gave him an ultimatum. I told him

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Speaker 1: that I want to go live in my home country

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Speaker 1: and be close to my family, and that if he

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Speaker 1: didn't want that, then the only option would be getting divorced. Wow,

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Speaker 1: the gauntlet. We're going all the way to divorce now, Yepang.

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Speaker 2: Dang bores.

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Speaker 1: When I told him that. I also told him that

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Speaker 1: I'm talking to a lawyer to advise me on a

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Speaker 1: divorce and joint custody. Well, she is, she is not.

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Speaker 1: He is digging in and I guess that made him

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Speaker 1: realize that I was being serious, because he said he

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Speaker 1: would be willing to do that to earn my forgiveness.

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Speaker 1: Another thing I asked him is to cut off contact

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Speaker 1: with his family forever, because I don't want our children

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Speaker 1: to suffer what I suffered with them. And he agreed.

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Speaker 1: So they are divorced. No, they're cutting off contact with

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Speaker 1: husband's whole family and leaving to Ope's home country, which

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Speaker 1: we don't know where it is though, Riley, do we know?

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Speaker 1: I don't think, so.

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Speaker 2: I'll look into it. Yeah, dang, Okay. So I wonder

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Speaker 2: if she thought he wouldn't do that and this is

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Speaker 2: her way of like kind of like more easily getting

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Speaker 2: a divorce in terms of him like agreeing to it.

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Speaker 2: I wonder if she thought interesting he wouldn't have said.

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Speaker 1: Yes, like ask for one hundred thousand when you only

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Speaker 1: want ten thousand kind of a thing exactly. Yeah, any luck,

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Speaker 1: Riley to throw away account, so I can't like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: all good, Okay. At the moment, our plan is to

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Speaker 1: travel for Christmas and stay there for a few weeks

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Speaker 1: and move in the middle of next year. In the meantime,

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Speaker 1: we will go to couples and individual therapy and hope

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Speaker 1: to be able to solve our issues. So far, things

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Speaker 1: are going well, and I hope that they continue that

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Speaker 1: way at it. I don't understand why there are so

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Speaker 1: many people accusing me of being a terrible wife and

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Speaker 1: not supporting my husband when he told me to stop

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Speaker 1: talking to my coworker. I've supported him since we started dating.

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Speaker 1: I moved to a different country as a teenager. I

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Speaker 1: left behind my family, friends, and everything I ever knew,

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Speaker 1: all for him. I didn't go to college until last

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Speaker 1: year because he was doing his PhD. And I had

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Speaker 1: to stay home with the kids full time, which is

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Speaker 1: why I could never have a single friend here because

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Speaker 1: since I arrived here, my only duty was to be

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Speaker 1: a mother and a housewife, and that consumed all of

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Speaker 1: my time. I got my first job when I was

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Speaker 1: twenty three, and it was only because the kids were

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Speaker 1: old enough to go to kindergarten. So don't say that

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Speaker 1: I don't support him, because that's the only thing I've

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Speaker 1: been doing since we started dating. This was the first

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Speaker 1: time that I had friends here, even though those friends

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Speaker 1: were both over fifty, and it felt good because there

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Speaker 1: were days where I felt so lone and talking to

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Speaker 1: them at work made me feel good. But for him,

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Speaker 1: that was wrong. And when my daughter was born, I

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Speaker 1: quit my job. I liked so much, just so that

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Speaker 1: he would have to stop feeling insecure. So don't jump

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Speaker 1: to conclusions or say stupid things. So it looks like

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Speaker 1: she's saying she left her job after OP was super uncomfortable.

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Speaker 2: Really like she left solely basically because of that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, her daughter was born too, so I imagine it's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, a to some degree, a mix of things.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, it seems like that was one of the reasons.

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Speaker 1: There are some more comments. This was one more response

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Speaker 1: to the downvoted people who think she's going too far

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Speaker 1: and cutting them off. His family rejected my daughter since

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Speaker 1: she was born. They pulled my hair during a one

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Speaker 1: sided fight when I was holding my daughter. Okay, that

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Speaker 1: also adds to it.

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Speaker 2: Wow, wow, that's boud.

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Speaker 1: Yes, that's bad. They mistreated me when I was pregnant

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Speaker 1: with my first child. So why should we keep in

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Speaker 1: touch with people who don't respect his wife or his dog?

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Speaker 1: And that is it?

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Speaker 2: Dang, So I think definitely going no contact. I mean,

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Speaker 2: like I understand a little bit more. Why going no

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Speaker 2: contact with the family just because, like they literally assaulted her.

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Speaker 2: But the husband's stuff is like I don't know if

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Speaker 2: he should be excused either. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I mean it seems like her deal to him is like,

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Speaker 1: we go back to my home country, we cut off

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Speaker 1: contact with her family. And I'm also just like, I

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Speaker 1: wonder if the we say this often, it's like, is

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Speaker 1: a relationship from an ultimated really really that great?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? You know, is that solid ground to build up of?

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, And yeah, OPI was very OPI was very

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Speaker 1: quick to forgive him.

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Speaker 2: It's too quick, especiously quick. I don't know that. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: let me know in the comments if you would forgive

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Speaker 2: your husband, if this was your husband so quickly?

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, here's my question, is op the a whole

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Speaker 1: for proposing this ultimatum?

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Speaker 2: I don't think that's a question.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I think like OPI went through a lot,

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Speaker 1: not just with this whole ordeal with the baby where

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Speaker 1: she was one hundred percent innocent the whole time.

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Speaker 2: Also, she feel like she's using the leverage at this

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Speaker 2: moment to move back to a place where she's more comfortable.

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Speaker 1: Right, So yeah, you could you could definitely say that.

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Speaker 2: Which I don't know if you feel like this whole move,

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Speaker 2: but it is a move.

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Speaker 1: And maybe maybe one question I kind of have too

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Speaker 1: is or one thing that's kind of running through my

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Speaker 1: mind is like it doesn't necessarily repair the trust that

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Speaker 1: was broken.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeahship, Like moving countries is like it's not like

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Speaker 2: you know, it's like, oh, having a kid is going

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Speaker 2: to save the relationship, or getting married is going to

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Speaker 2: save the relationship. Like I don't know if moving a

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Speaker 2: country is going to to save the relationship.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so let us know in the comments below what

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Speaker 1: you think. And by the way, if you have your

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Speaker 1: own story, if someone maybe accused you of having a child,

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Speaker 1: if someone accused you of cheating and having a child

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Speaker 1: with someone else, we have a call and I said,

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Speaker 1: we sere four zero five zero eight six five six seven.

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Speaker 1: We'd love to hear from you. Speaking of stories, should

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Speaker 1: we get into another one, let's do it.