1 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:08,480 Speaker 1: Hi am Kate Hudson, and my name is Oliver Hudson. 2 00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:11,959 Speaker 1: We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship and 3 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:23,440 Speaker 1: what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling, Railvalry, No, no, sibling. 4 00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:38,879 Speaker 1: You don't do that with your mouth, Vely. That's good. 5 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:44,520 Speaker 1: You know. I was thinking about last night. Danny said, 6 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:47,199 Speaker 1: I entered another dimension last night, and I feel like 7 00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:50,879 Speaker 1: he's right. And then I put these sunglasses on this 8 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:55,640 Speaker 1: morning and it like confirmed it. Did you like eat 9 00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:59,279 Speaker 1: marijuana or something? No, I don't need I don't need 10 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:07,920 Speaker 1: anything to enter her different dimensions. I'm not like you, man. 11 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:15,199 Speaker 1: I entered the dimension like on a regular basis. I need. 12 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:22,440 Speaker 1: I am the matrix. Your hair looks great. I feel 13 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:24,960 Speaker 1: like you should this whole look with the chain and 14 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,920 Speaker 1: the rope. Yeah, but I looked. I look really sexy 15 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:34,400 Speaker 1: last night. Though Gwyneth is in love with me. You 16 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:36,560 Speaker 1: were so happy. When I saw that. I was like, 17 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:40,600 Speaker 1: oh my god, she knows, she just plays you. She's 18 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,560 Speaker 1: like plain. Now. I felt it was real. There was 19 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:46,240 Speaker 1: something behind the words that were like I felt it. 20 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:48,720 Speaker 1: You know what I mean. It's all been fun in 21 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:53,240 Speaker 1: games up to this point. And then then something got real. 22 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,480 Speaker 1: I just I gotta talk to I gotta talk to Brad. 23 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:59,720 Speaker 1: I gotta figure this out. You should probably talk to 24 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:03,800 Speaker 1: your although your wife is so great, she'd probably be like, 25 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:07,280 Speaker 1: I love you this wee can Oh yeah, No, Aaron's 26 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:09,919 Speaker 1: cool with it. She loves Gwennath just as much as 27 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:12,079 Speaker 1: I do. So this thing could really work if I 28 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:19,600 Speaker 1: could just get Brad on board. Hey, man, I read 29 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:22,520 Speaker 1: some articles somewhere and was talking about this with Michael Fooje, 30 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:26,920 Speaker 1: my man's brother, about the polyamorous relationship is really in. 31 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:30,760 Speaker 1: You know, yeah, it seems to be hot right now. Yeah, 32 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:32,680 Speaker 1: it's kind of the hot thing. What's your take on 33 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:36,280 Speaker 1: that though? Why do you think it's trending so to speak? 34 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:39,880 Speaker 1: What do you think is happening in the universe to where, oh, 35 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:46,440 Speaker 1: polyamoryes kind of in because people are not as comfortable 36 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:49,959 Speaker 1: with intimacy, and I think it's I think people having 37 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:54,800 Speaker 1: a harder time. This is coming right out of my heini. Okay, 38 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:59,960 Speaker 1: I'm just I'm vibing with a theory on this, which 39 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:05,320 Speaker 1: which is that based on this new digital era that 40 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:09,840 Speaker 1: we're we are probably not connecting as deeply or as 41 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:15,480 Speaker 1: comfortable with deep intimacy, especially with the younger generation as 42 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:19,400 Speaker 1: we have or have had to in the past, and 43 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:22,360 Speaker 1: this idea of the unit having to be one unit 44 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:29,639 Speaker 1: has been so kind of blown apart that the sacrifices 45 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:32,680 Speaker 1: that you make to stay in one relationship don't feel 46 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:37,240 Speaker 1: as important, I think, to a lot of people. And 47 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 1: then it's sort of like, as the evolution of things go, 48 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:45,160 Speaker 1: some people probably don't really want to have that kind 49 00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:48,880 Speaker 1: of intimacy. They like newness, They want the newness of relationships. 50 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:53,040 Speaker 1: They don't want to find themselves having to be faced 51 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:56,920 Speaker 1: with like their own intimacy issues. They want too I 52 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:59,360 Speaker 1: think that. But do you think then that it's having 53 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:03,440 Speaker 1: multiple partners you can sort of parcel out your intimacy 54 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:06,120 Speaker 1: and you don't have to give it all at once. Yeah, 55 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:09,360 Speaker 1: I think that when you have multiple partners, you're not 56 00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:12,680 Speaker 1: you know. You it's like anything. It's like it's like 57 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 1: having a closet filled with like different color dresses. You know. 58 00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 1: It's like I walk into my closet and I feel great, 59 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:23,000 Speaker 1: and I feel like I want to wear the pink 60 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:30,599 Speaker 1: dress today, and that's Danny. Danny's the pink dress, you know. 61 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,039 Speaker 1: And then and then tomorrow. You might like that pink 62 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:35,280 Speaker 1: dress for a good couple months, and then one day 63 00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:37,640 Speaker 1: you're going to be like, you know what, I don't 64 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:39,800 Speaker 1: want to get rid of the pink dress, but I'm 65 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,039 Speaker 1: I want to start wearing the blue dress and the 66 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:46,200 Speaker 1: green dress. Right. But but isn't poly isn't everyone together? 67 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:51,280 Speaker 1: It's not just like an open relationship, right, No, Polyamorous 68 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:56,280 Speaker 1: is multiple relationships at once, basically like, oh, oh it is. 69 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:58,520 Speaker 1: It's not like, so then what is the what is 70 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:01,720 Speaker 1: it when? Uh, let's look this up any serious? This 71 00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:04,320 Speaker 1: happens all the time. I thought polyamerus was like you 72 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:12,240 Speaker 1: have a unit with multiple peoples, multiple people romantically involved 73 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:15,640 Speaker 1: with more than one person at the same time. Yeah, 74 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:19,880 Speaker 1: oh so it's just basically legal legal cheating. It's like, 75 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:25,440 Speaker 1: it's well, it's not legal cheating. Cheating isn't illegal, well 76 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:30,680 Speaker 1: morally sound cheating. It's this idea that you can actually 77 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:33,040 Speaker 1: be in love with more than one person at a time, 78 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:37,480 Speaker 1: that you can exist in this sort of constantly fluid 79 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:42,520 Speaker 1: and open place where loves it just flows. Man, it 80 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:46,880 Speaker 1: just flows, hey man, man, Like you know, I love 81 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:50,919 Speaker 1: Lizzie and I love Sarah, and I love Mommy. I 82 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:54,840 Speaker 1: love Rick Man, I love Rick, and I love John. 83 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,839 Speaker 1: You know I I think I think it's like I 84 00:05:57,839 --> 00:06:05,640 Speaker 1: feel like you could do it. Oh for sure, I'm 85 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:09,680 Speaker 1: just kidding. I could never, I would be well, that's 86 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:12,600 Speaker 1: not true. You know what's funny? I think, yeah, because 87 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:15,359 Speaker 1: you could. You could get something from each man, you 88 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,560 Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like you could take something from 89 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:20,720 Speaker 1: each person and fulfilled. I just want all of our 90 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:22,680 Speaker 1: listeners out there to know that Oliver is doing this 91 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:28,080 Speaker 1: because Danny is standing right next to me. Well, I know, 92 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:31,800 Speaker 1: but Daniel, Danny's our videographer, so he has to be 93 00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:35,200 Speaker 1: privy to all the shit. So so here's how here's 94 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:38,279 Speaker 1: what I think about this. I'm gonna be really honest 95 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:41,919 Speaker 1: about this, and I actually probably won't cut this out. 96 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:45,600 Speaker 1: I have been in relationships and dated people who have 97 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:50,080 Speaker 1: been very open about their inability to want to be 98 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:53,560 Speaker 1: to be monogamous or their desire to be monogamous, right, 99 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:57,120 Speaker 1: And when someone is really open and transparent about it, 100 00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 1: it kind of gives you the choice to say, well, 101 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,120 Speaker 1: do I want to explore this or is this not 102 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:05,000 Speaker 1: for me? But they're being honest and upfront about it. 103 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:08,120 Speaker 1: It's like when you kind of present yourself with that openness. 104 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:12,040 Speaker 1: I think it allows the other person to feel like 105 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:17,400 Speaker 1: they're starting off with a like just total honesty, which 106 00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:20,360 Speaker 1: then makes you kind of go because I've been in 107 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:23,240 Speaker 1: that situation, it makes you go, you know what, I 108 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:26,280 Speaker 1: really like this person. I love spending this time with person. 109 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:32,800 Speaker 1: This person, he's basically lowered my expectation of monogamy with him, 110 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:35,040 Speaker 1: and I have a choice to see if this is 111 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,880 Speaker 1: the kind of relationship, and I'm going to explore it. 112 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:39,360 Speaker 1: And as you explore it, you kind of go, well, 113 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:41,560 Speaker 1: maybe I could do this. There is a moment where 114 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:46,280 Speaker 1: you go because it's so honest, Yeah, maybe you could 115 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:49,720 Speaker 1: do it. The problem is with me is that then 116 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,040 Speaker 1: you get like a month or two in and you're like, 117 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:58,679 Speaker 1: fuck this. No, Yeah, I could absolutely not. I need 118 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:08,880 Speaker 1: lockdown monogamy. I would. I would be devastated if Danny felt, 119 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:13,320 Speaker 1: you know, like wanted to, you know, be with another 120 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:19,040 Speaker 1: woman or it was like the worst feeling ever. Yeah Danny, don't, yeah, 121 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:21,840 Speaker 1: don't tell her. Well, I'll just if that ever. I 122 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:24,720 Speaker 1: always say, like, like, you know, if that ever happens, 123 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:28,240 Speaker 1: I'm just out. That's how I am. There's no like 124 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:31,960 Speaker 1: saving something with that. Well, usually it's symptomatic of something, 125 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:35,040 Speaker 1: you know what I mean, And it's then it's about 126 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:39,400 Speaker 1: whether you want to fight for that relationship. I think 127 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:43,360 Speaker 1: that people are so quick now to just throw everything away, 128 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,760 Speaker 1: not just with cheating, just in general, meaning like something's wrong, 129 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:50,600 Speaker 1: Fuck you, You're gone on to the next that's me. Yeah, 130 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:53,920 Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, a big bite, don't do that. Yeah, 131 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:56,320 Speaker 1: but but you might be missing out on something great. 132 00:08:56,600 --> 00:09:00,480 Speaker 1: I'll miss out with someone else. Just Danny come live 133 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:04,040 Speaker 1: with me. Oh yeah, let's get to emails. Let's talk 134 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:07,160 Speaker 1: about other things. Nah, this was great. We need to 135 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:10,640 Speaker 1: do a whole another three hours on this. Yeah, Gwynne 136 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:15,600 Speaker 1: did she started this whole conversation. I know. Well, I'm 137 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:17,400 Speaker 1: going to give you an update. The audience will get 138 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:22,080 Speaker 1: an update next podcast. Okay, let's all right, let's get 139 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:25,800 Speaker 1: to the email. Okay, So here we go. I'm really 140 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:28,440 Speaker 1: going to try not to cry because I know it's 141 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,920 Speaker 1: just so always. I don't know, maybe she's got a 142 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:36,000 Speaker 1: weird cry Fetish gives us these emails where it's just 143 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:43,360 Speaker 1: like devastating, you know. Okay, am I you go first? 144 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,560 Speaker 1: You want me to go first? Okay? Oliver and Kate, 145 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:50,080 Speaker 1: I'm not even sure where to start. Your podcast has 146 00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:54,520 Speaker 1: carried these tired bones through the last year of the pandemic. 147 00:09:55,559 --> 00:10:00,640 Speaker 1: I knowed throat. My throat immediately started to get froggy. 148 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,960 Speaker 1: You know, I am thirty seven, a registered nurse and 149 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:06,720 Speaker 1: have seen more grief and illness this last year than 150 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:10,480 Speaker 1: I've seen in my whole fifteen year career as an urn. 151 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:13,800 Speaker 1: I work on a surgical floor, but because of the 152 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:17,360 Speaker 1: coronavirus and the influx of patients needing medical attention, I 153 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:20,040 Speaker 1: was pulled to the ICU to care for COVID patients 154 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:23,360 Speaker 1: for many months. My time in the ICU was scary. 155 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:26,400 Speaker 1: I was out of my comfort zone, and I know 156 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:29,240 Speaker 1: I took a lot of emotional baggage home to my husband, 157 00:10:29,679 --> 00:10:39,760 Speaker 1: beautiful eleven year old son, and strong willed nothing's happened yet, 158 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:42,880 Speaker 1: and I'm like literally getting emotional. I know, you know what, 159 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:47,640 Speaker 1: But here's the problem. It's Pavlovian. It's pavlovian. Allison has 160 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:50,440 Speaker 1: created a Pavlovian response from us because we know that 161 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:54,160 Speaker 1: when it's the email episode, it's gonna happen. So it's not. 162 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:56,440 Speaker 1: And you know what got me was that she called 163 00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:59,120 Speaker 1: her a strong willed, strong willed I know I got 164 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:04,000 Speaker 1: tired bone, I was off to the races. We love you. 165 00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:06,040 Speaker 1: I don't even know your name yet, but we love you. 166 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:09,000 Speaker 1: Okay and strong willed nine year old daughter. But I'm 167 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:11,840 Speaker 1: so grateful for it. You can't help but realize that 168 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:15,240 Speaker 1: family really is all that matters. After you have watched 169 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:17,920 Speaker 1: people die alone without their loved ones by their side. 170 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:19,720 Speaker 1: There were nights I just wanted to cry and go 171 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:27,000 Speaker 1: to bed, but instead I did my favorite thing. I'm 172 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:30,240 Speaker 1: not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm 173 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,880 Speaker 1: I feel very emotional this morning in general. I don't 174 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:37,280 Speaker 1: know why. If you're starting to go wet my lexipro, 175 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:39,640 Speaker 1: you're going off your lexophone, you're starting to sweat, it's 176 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:43,000 Speaker 1: all coming out, which is great. I'm excited for you. Oh, 177 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,600 Speaker 1: But instead I did my favorite thing, talk to my 178 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:48,440 Speaker 1: mom or siblings on the phone to ground me. I 179 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:52,600 Speaker 1: live in Fargul, North Dakota, and my best friends on 180 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:56,160 Speaker 1: planet Earth are my oldest brother Justin, sister Lauren, and 181 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:59,160 Speaker 1: baby brother Gabe. He is the baby of the family 182 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:02,040 Speaker 1: and ten years younger than me, but he's six foot five, 183 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,480 Speaker 1: so calling him my little brother always makes me laugh 184 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:07,680 Speaker 1: Because my parents raised us to spread our wings and 185 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:10,520 Speaker 1: venture out into this wild world. We all did just that. 186 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,560 Speaker 1: My big brother lives in Chicago, my sister lives in 187 00:12:13,559 --> 00:12:16,120 Speaker 1: New York, and my little brother lives in Oregon. We 188 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:19,120 Speaker 1: couldn't be further apart, but we are still so close together. 189 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:22,360 Speaker 1: My sister had a baby last year, but because of COVID, 190 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,880 Speaker 1: we've only been able to see her six weeks after 191 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:28,200 Speaker 1: she was born. She has grown so much this past year, 192 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:30,800 Speaker 1: and my sister and I cry when we talk about 193 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:33,400 Speaker 1: all the milestones and daily nothings. My family and I 194 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:36,760 Speaker 1: have missed my sister two years. My junior called me 195 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:40,040 Speaker 1: one day on one of our pretend like we are together, 196 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:43,160 Speaker 1: but we aren't walks. We talk and walk. She is 197 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:46,240 Speaker 1: in NY and me here in our hometown. She told 198 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:48,720 Speaker 1: me about your podcast and said it made her both 199 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:51,880 Speaker 1: miss me more but feel closer together all at the 200 00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:55,800 Speaker 1: same time. It quickly became our new weekly routine. We 201 00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:58,840 Speaker 1: listened to each podcast. Then the next day she pushes 202 00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:02,679 Speaker 1: my now one and a half year old niece, Wow God, 203 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:06,280 Speaker 1: in a stroller and we go on our thousand miles 204 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:11,760 Speaker 1: apart morning walk and rehash the previous episode over the phone, cry, laugh, 205 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:15,160 Speaker 1: then usually cry a little more. Listening to the two 206 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:18,520 Speaker 1: of you banter, sing, randomly, cuss each other out, and 207 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:22,880 Speaker 1: say I love you, love you, love you too, reminds 208 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:25,320 Speaker 1: me so much of the relationship that I have with 209 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:28,080 Speaker 1: my brothers and sister. It just brightens my whole entire 210 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:31,520 Speaker 1: day and makes my heart feel lighter. I found out 211 00:13:31,559 --> 00:13:34,920 Speaker 1: this month that my sister, her husband, and my baby 212 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:37,959 Speaker 1: niece are moving back home after being away for seven years. 213 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:41,360 Speaker 1: They bought a house not even four blocks from my husband, kids, 214 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:44,440 Speaker 1: and I. Your podcast helped me survive. I know that's 215 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:48,920 Speaker 1: so awesome. Your podcast helped me survive a very emotional, 216 00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:51,280 Speaker 1: trying time in my career as a nurse and simply 217 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:54,840 Speaker 1: as a sibling who desperately misses her dumb ass brothers 218 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:59,440 Speaker 1: and little sister. I absolutely can't wait to continue our 219 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:02,360 Speaker 1: sibling reconversations, but this time I will be able to 220 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:05,440 Speaker 1: do it holding my sister's hand instead of my phone. 221 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:08,080 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for being you and connecting us 222 00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:13,560 Speaker 1: all in ways we never thought possible. Lovingly and respectfully, Ashley, 223 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:18,960 Speaker 1: oh Oh, I love that one so much. It also 224 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:22,240 Speaker 1: I feel like I also feel like her writing. So, 225 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:25,320 Speaker 1: you know, I was I was reading something about writing, 226 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:29,240 Speaker 1: and I forget what writer it was who said, you know, 227 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:35,480 Speaker 1: people overwrite, just yeah, tell your story, just be clear 228 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:40,520 Speaker 1: and concise. And I feel like, this is how I 229 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:43,960 Speaker 1: feel about this letter. It's like, I really feel like 230 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:48,600 Speaker 1: she was so clear and descriptive and very kind of 231 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:51,120 Speaker 1: straightforward ways, and I felt like, I feel like I 232 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:56,600 Speaker 1: know her, I really know. I know this family. I know. Yeah. Well, 233 00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:59,440 Speaker 1: it's also nice to see that people are finally able 234 00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:02,080 Speaker 1: to sort of get back into each other's circles again, 235 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:05,640 Speaker 1: you know, I mean, yeah, it's an emotional time. For sure, 236 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:08,960 Speaker 1: we've been lucky. I think that we've been able to 237 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,000 Speaker 1: be around each other, but you know, there's a lot 238 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:15,640 Speaker 1: of people who have not. Yeah, and so to come 239 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:19,080 Speaker 1: together again, I'm sure it's highly emotional and exciting. And 240 00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:22,240 Speaker 1: you know, geez, like she said, you know, her parents 241 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:24,920 Speaker 1: wanting them all to spread their wings and then everybody 242 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,960 Speaker 1: ends up in different places in the country. It's something 243 00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:30,400 Speaker 1: like this that does make you want to be closer 244 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:34,880 Speaker 1: to your family. You know, before COVID, pre COVID, I 245 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,960 Speaker 1: think it was a lot easier to get around a 246 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:41,040 Speaker 1: lot easier to kind of live in different places. And 247 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:44,120 Speaker 1: there's something I think about this time that makes you. 248 00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:46,600 Speaker 1: I think a lot of people want to just be 249 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:50,480 Speaker 1: in a closer community with their family. I know that's 250 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:53,200 Speaker 1: how I feel. It's like, you know, I was talking 251 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:55,200 Speaker 1: to Mom and Paul last night and we're out out 252 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,560 Speaker 1: in the des I just have to be near family 253 00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:01,960 Speaker 1: all the time. But we were talking about where we'd 254 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,400 Speaker 1: want to live, and that if someone wanted to move, 255 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:09,760 Speaker 1: we'd all have to move. No. I you know, look, 256 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,560 Speaker 1: I've even toyed with the idea of like moving to 257 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,720 Speaker 1: you know, Hidden Hills or Calabasas you know, which is 258 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:18,280 Speaker 1: only an hour forty five minutes away. But still it's 259 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:20,920 Speaker 1: like it's just too far. I mean, it's kind of 260 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:25,200 Speaker 1: I can't. We're only seven minutes away, so I don't know, Man, 261 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:29,200 Speaker 1: it's thirty minute drive. It's a little too far. Yeah, 262 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:32,920 Speaker 1: anything further than ten blocks from my mom is too far. 263 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,640 Speaker 1: I know we've got problems, but we'll deal with that 264 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:42,000 Speaker 1: in another episode of Sitting at Ashley. I just want 265 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:45,360 Speaker 1: to say to you, first of all, thank you for 266 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:49,760 Speaker 1: doing what you do and helping so many people who 267 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,920 Speaker 1: as scared as you were were also probably as scared, 268 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:57,000 Speaker 1: and you know, I'm sure you were there for a 269 00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:59,400 Speaker 1: lot of people who couldn't be around their family. And 270 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:04,760 Speaker 1: what you do is a saving grace And and I 271 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,679 Speaker 1: respect you guys so much and so thank you for 272 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:13,040 Speaker 1: your work, and and also to your sister. You know, 273 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:15,800 Speaker 1: I just think that that's so great that you guys 274 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:19,240 Speaker 1: like just making the effort. I love hearing that that 275 00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:21,600 Speaker 1: you you know, live in different places, but that you 276 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:25,400 Speaker 1: actually take walks together. I mean, I don't know that 277 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:28,880 Speaker 1: that warms my heart. And and then your parents, because honestly, 278 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,959 Speaker 1: it all comes from your parents. If you weren't raised 279 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:36,200 Speaker 1: a certain way to really honor the relationships in your family, 280 00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:39,359 Speaker 1: then you know, you might have a different relationship with 281 00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:42,800 Speaker 1: your siblings. So your parents sound like they are pretty awesome. 282 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:50,919 Speaker 1: So but thanks for writing in, Ollie. Are you going 283 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:57,600 Speaker 1: to tap that shit? I'm going to tap that shit. 284 00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:04,080 Speaker 1: I'm going to tap the right Oh sh yes, I'm 285 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:08,080 Speaker 1: gonna tap the Rockies cores light. We're getting into the 286 00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:10,679 Speaker 1: spring months, were getting into the summer months. Not that 287 00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:14,439 Speaker 1: you can't drink an ice cold cores light in the snow, 288 00:18:15,359 --> 00:18:19,440 Speaker 1: but you know it's getting hot here, it's in the nineties. 289 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:24,200 Speaker 1: It's time to drink a beer that's made to chill. Yeah, 290 00:18:24,359 --> 00:18:30,800 Speaker 1: you made to chill button, Oliver. You just open that 291 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:36,480 Speaker 1: Cores Light. It's mountain cold refreshment. Well, because here's the thing, 292 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:38,399 Speaker 1: I just want to give a little anecdote. We just 293 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:41,639 Speaker 1: went on a camping trip and you were there. It 294 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:45,760 Speaker 1: was very hot outside. We had the cooler, opened it up, 295 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:49,320 Speaker 1: you fold your chairs out, and we we literally did this, 296 00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:50,760 Speaker 1: I think it was about a week and a half ago, 297 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:54,719 Speaker 1: and drinking Cores Light in the ninety degree sun, and 298 00:18:54,760 --> 00:19:00,399 Speaker 1: it was just magnificent. It was magnificent. You drink it 299 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,000 Speaker 1: when you camp, you drink it when you're at the beach. 300 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:03,840 Speaker 1: You could drink Course Light anywhere. As long as those 301 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:06,840 Speaker 1: mountains are blue and cold, You're going to enjoy it. 302 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,760 Speaker 1: You're going to love it. So Course Light is the 303 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:11,280 Speaker 1: one that I choose when I need to unwind. I 304 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,359 Speaker 1: think Kate can agree with me, I said, I, but 305 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:16,280 Speaker 1: I mean we So when you want to hit reset, 306 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:20,200 Speaker 1: you reach for the beer that is literally made to chill. 307 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:22,960 Speaker 1: Get Course Light in the New Look, delivered straight to 308 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:29,000 Speaker 1: your door with Drizzly or Instacart. Celebrate responsibly course brewing 309 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:38,280 Speaker 1: company gold in Colorado. I personally have been using the 310 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:42,840 Speaker 1: beauty blender for years. He's almost a booty blend. Booty blender, 311 00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:48,240 Speaker 1: I've been using that too, But the beauty blender. My 312 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:52,240 Speaker 1: makeup artist is obsessed with it. Every day. Every morning, 313 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:56,359 Speaker 1: I see that little pink beauty blender and I know 314 00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:58,240 Speaker 1: it's going to be a good day. It's the number 315 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:03,080 Speaker 1: one cosmetic tool in America, won countless awards, including twelve 316 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:08,080 Speaker 1: of Allure's Best of Beauty Awards. So the thing about 317 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:10,119 Speaker 1: the beauty blender, it has to be wet. So you 318 00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:12,560 Speaker 1: wet this. It's like a sponge, and you wet it, 319 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:16,119 Speaker 1: and what it does is it absorbs it differently when 320 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,000 Speaker 1: you wet the sponge, and it actually gives you a 321 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:23,120 Speaker 1: really beautiful skin texture with coverage without having to use 322 00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:26,560 Speaker 1: so much product. So they have a collection of original 323 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,719 Speaker 1: pink Zodiac blenders all in the twelve signs, which I 324 00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:36,560 Speaker 1: really love. Very cool. So they launched a Biopure makeup sponge. 325 00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:39,520 Speaker 1: It's a sustainable beauty blender made out of sixty percent 326 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:43,360 Speaker 1: plant base of renewable sugarcane, which is great. Yeah, it's sustainable. 327 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:47,320 Speaker 1: That's what's cool too, you know, recycled resins, less plastic 328 00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:51,760 Speaker 1: in the landfill. They're all made in the USA. They're vegan, 329 00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:56,560 Speaker 1: curalty free, gluten, latex parabins, sulfates and say it all 330 00:20:56,640 --> 00:21:02,000 Speaker 1: dalates where it's dalates but the pH is silent. There 331 00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:05,639 Speaker 1: just isn't another makeup sponge that can compete with a 332 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:08,960 Speaker 1: beauty blender. And now beauty Blender is offering twenty percent 333 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,680 Speaker 1: off your first order on beauty blender dot com with 334 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:16,640 Speaker 1: code sibling. That's twenty percent off with code sibling. Exclusions apply, 335 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:28,240 Speaker 1: all right, Hello, Hello, Kate and Oliver and Alison. Nice Alison, 336 00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:31,280 Speaker 1: you are coming up in the world. Shut up. My 337 00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:34,040 Speaker 1: name is Rowan. I think that's how to pronounce it. 338 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,480 Speaker 1: I'm a female in case the name was new to 339 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:41,000 Speaker 1: your ears. I'm a Syrian radio producer and I live 340 00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:43,880 Speaker 1: in Kuwait with my family. I've always fought the idea 341 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:46,760 Speaker 1: of podcasts until the lockdown happened early last year and 342 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:50,840 Speaker 1: everyone started caving into a new reality and we miraculously 343 00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:54,200 Speaker 1: gave everything a second chance. And I'm glad. I did 344 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:56,840 Speaker 1: I remember hearing about this podcast when you guys were 345 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:59,399 Speaker 1: on Ellen, And because I love your family dynamic. I 346 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:02,960 Speaker 1: decided I decided to start with your duo project, and 347 00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:06,440 Speaker 1: my first episode was with the Fosters, Sorry about that, 348 00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:14,119 Speaker 1: and I was hooked. Ever since. I've always loved you, Kate. 349 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:16,480 Speaker 1: I think whenever I see your face on a movie poster, 350 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:21,080 Speaker 1: I hit play immediately. Oliver, You're so funny and beautifully vulnerable. 351 00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:24,439 Speaker 1: I respect your straightforwardness, and God, you have a good face. 352 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:33,080 Speaker 1: The end, oh Rowan, just like you know, gave you 353 00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,960 Speaker 1: a little boost there. I listened to your podcast on 354 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:37,600 Speaker 1: my runs and it really makes me think of my 355 00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:41,840 Speaker 1: siblings bonds. I'm the youngest of four. I would say 356 00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:43,720 Speaker 1: I'm the closest to my sister, but it's really not 357 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:46,560 Speaker 1: that close. When I reflect after the show, I get 358 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:49,000 Speaker 1: a feeling of oh, I wish I had that with 359 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,880 Speaker 1: my sister and two brothers, but I actually never act 360 00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:54,280 Speaker 1: upon it. I take the blame on that because they're 361 00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:57,080 Speaker 1: all very nice and they show interest in being close 362 00:22:57,119 --> 00:23:00,760 Speaker 1: to me, but I always distanced myself. Part of that 363 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,040 Speaker 1: could be due to the differences in the way I 364 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:06,159 Speaker 1: lead my life and the principles we sometimes disagree on. 365 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:10,320 Speaker 1: In our culture, kids never leave their parents home unless 366 00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:13,560 Speaker 1: they're traveling for work or college or getting married, so 367 00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:15,919 Speaker 1: having all my siblings around me made me kind of 368 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:20,360 Speaker 1: cruel and constantly irritated by the cramped space. Also, as 369 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,800 Speaker 1: a family, we don't display love emotions, so when we 370 00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:28,080 Speaker 1: do in special occasions like ed or birthdays, it gets 371 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:30,840 Speaker 1: a bit awkward, at least to me. Whenever I finish 372 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:33,280 Speaker 1: listening to an episode of your podcast, I go home 373 00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:35,479 Speaker 1: after my run and plan to talk to my sister 374 00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:38,600 Speaker 1: and sister more and spend some quality time with my mom, 375 00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:42,040 Speaker 1: but I really fail. Once I arrive. I tend to 376 00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:44,879 Speaker 1: head to my room and stay there for hours. I 377 00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:46,960 Speaker 1: also noticed that I love everyone more when they're not 378 00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:49,560 Speaker 1: physically around me. That's why I never travel with them 379 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:52,400 Speaker 1: in the summer, because I just enjoy my time alone here. 380 00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,280 Speaker 1: I keep reminding myself that one day I might regret 381 00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:58,080 Speaker 1: this and then I should appreciate them around me while 382 00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:00,119 Speaker 1: they're here. But I don't know why it does and 383 00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:04,399 Speaker 1: come that easy sure thing is sibling revelry makes me 384 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:07,919 Speaker 1: rethink my selfish demeanor and helps me cherish these family 385 00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:12,760 Speaker 1: bonds a bit more. I love you so much, so 386 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,440 Speaker 1: I love this. First of all, Rwan, thank you for 387 00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:19,959 Speaker 1: writing in. But it's this is so interesting because culturally 388 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:24,919 Speaker 1: it is clearly so different from you know, how we 389 00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:29,080 Speaker 1: grew up, and that must be so challenging, especially like 390 00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:34,640 Speaker 1: it sounds like she really pushes against that traditional way 391 00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:37,720 Speaker 1: of living and she just can't handle being around it. 392 00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:40,600 Speaker 1: But I guess what are the reasons? You know what 393 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,280 Speaker 1: I mean, I wonder what those reasons are. It's just 394 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:45,960 Speaker 1: sort of who you are, this is personally you just 395 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:50,359 Speaker 1: want your own space or is there something else brewing there? 396 00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:54,800 Speaker 1: You know, sounds like she feels like a rage against 397 00:24:55,000 --> 00:25:00,240 Speaker 1: the machine, a little fuck you. I want do what 398 00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:03,560 Speaker 1: you tell me, you know. But it sounds like she 399 00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:08,240 Speaker 1: has a great family, so it's it's it's feels very 400 00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:11,480 Speaker 1: internal for her. And I know, I mean, very fascinated 401 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:14,000 Speaker 1: about a lot to this story. You know. Yeah, I 402 00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:16,480 Speaker 1: want to get into this one. It's like I want to. 403 00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:19,320 Speaker 1: I want to. I want to actually like talk to her, 404 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:22,480 Speaker 1: you know. I wonder if we should do that where 405 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:26,720 Speaker 1: we have episodes where we actually talk to these listeners 406 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:32,720 Speaker 1: and ask them questions, just them, Yeah, because if I 407 00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:35,400 Speaker 1: don't know if it's about her, you know, and how 408 00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:38,600 Speaker 1: she feels, or if it's if it's if it's brought 409 00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,320 Speaker 1: on by something within her family, or if it's just like, hey, 410 00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:43,119 Speaker 1: this is who I am. I mean, at that point, 411 00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:45,720 Speaker 1: how do you? How do you square that? It's like, 412 00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:48,880 Speaker 1: you guys are great, I just can you don't really 413 00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:58,200 Speaker 1: at your robe? You it's disgusting. You're like clearly naked. 414 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:04,960 Speaker 1: Just close it. It's like so you can't see anything 415 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,399 Speaker 1: though you know no, but it cuts off right the 416 00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:20,160 Speaker 1: perfect plate. Oh my god, sibling, Like, we should actually 417 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:23,400 Speaker 1: invite some of these people who've written in and see, 418 00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:25,439 Speaker 1: we don't have to show them, we can, they can 419 00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:29,560 Speaker 1: be totally anonymous, but actually talk about whatever these things are, 420 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,240 Speaker 1: and and see if in some way we can like 421 00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:37,600 Speaker 1: armchair therapy there. I'd love that, you know, and just 422 00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:42,040 Speaker 1: and just say listen. Here's the disclaimer. Don't listen to anything. 423 00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:48,960 Speaker 1: I don't know what we can give you advice, but 424 00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:54,080 Speaker 1: you don't have to take it. Okay, In fact, you're 425 00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:59,000 Speaker 1: better off if you don't. But here it is, because 426 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:03,520 Speaker 1: this is really interesting. I'm really intrigued. It sounds like 427 00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:06,840 Speaker 1: she's longing for a close relationship with her family that 428 00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:09,520 Speaker 1: she really struggles with, and she recognizes. What I like 429 00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:15,080 Speaker 1: about it is that she recognizes that it's her own issue. Yeah, totally. Yeah, 430 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:18,320 Speaker 1: it takes responsibility. It's it's it's cool. I mean it's like, look, 431 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:21,560 Speaker 1: I've I've got the issue here. I I you know, 432 00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:26,160 Speaker 1: that's the first moment of change. I think when you're 433 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,120 Speaker 1: when you when you want to change, when you want 434 00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:30,520 Speaker 1: to shift anything, It's like when what they talk about 435 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:32,879 Speaker 1: in AA, you know, the second you have to not 436 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:35,080 Speaker 1: be in denial. The denial has to go away. You 437 00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:37,800 Speaker 1: have to stop blaming other people. You take total accountability 438 00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:40,880 Speaker 1: for your own actions. Yeah. And I think the same 439 00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:43,879 Speaker 1: is applied to every relationship that you have, is that 440 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:48,879 Speaker 1: you can't really move and transition if you're not taking 441 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:52,560 Speaker 1: full accountability for your for yourself and your actions. It 442 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:56,080 Speaker 1: sounds like she's doing that, which I love and rowand 443 00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:58,919 Speaker 1: I'm grateful that we can bring you some sort of 444 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:02,119 Speaker 1: I don't know, desire or want to connect and have 445 00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:06,720 Speaker 1: an even stronger relationship. Yeah, and it sounds like they 446 00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:09,479 Speaker 1: love her very much, you know. From the sidelines too, 447 00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:13,200 Speaker 1: it's like, maybe just force yourself, you know, break through 448 00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:17,360 Speaker 1: that angst of oh, I don't want to get yourself 449 00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:21,760 Speaker 1: into the place with your family, and then things might shift, 450 00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:25,359 Speaker 1: you know, right, or ask instead of wondering why, like 451 00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:28,680 Speaker 1: I just find myself being cruel, ask yourself what you're 452 00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:32,960 Speaker 1: feeling like in that moment when you want to like 453 00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:37,080 Speaker 1: run and walk away, like kind of try to connect 454 00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:39,520 Speaker 1: with what the feeling is and where it's coming from, 455 00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:45,760 Speaker 1: because I think our reactive nature can can go it 456 00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:48,239 Speaker 1: could be so quick that we forget to kind of 457 00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:51,760 Speaker 1: really check in to see you know. When you do that, 458 00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:56,520 Speaker 1: you can actually pinpoint sometimes where it's coming from and 459 00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:58,719 Speaker 1: then you can work from there. It's like what our 460 00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:02,120 Speaker 1: therapist always says, It's like, you know, when you get 461 00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:06,360 Speaker 1: that feeling, it's not the person that's triggering it, Like 462 00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:09,000 Speaker 1: what is it that you're feeling in that moment? And 463 00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:12,160 Speaker 1: have you felt it before? And then you have to 464 00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:15,720 Speaker 1: think about what you felt before and you realize that 465 00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:21,400 Speaker 1: what you're experiencing is just a reaction to old, right, 466 00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:24,680 Speaker 1: and it's also old being the observer, So it's about 467 00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:29,080 Speaker 1: stepping outside of yourself and observing, observing yourself, you know, 468 00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:32,680 Speaker 1: in want and asking yourself the question, Hm, Okay, I'm 469 00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:35,920 Speaker 1: looking at myself from out here. Why am I feeling 470 00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:38,920 Speaker 1: this way? Is what's going on? Yeah? You know it's 471 00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:41,640 Speaker 1: the thirty two thousand feet up kind of trying to 472 00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:46,000 Speaker 1: look down. Well, I kind of feel like thirty five 473 00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:50,040 Speaker 1: is the perfect it's too hot, it's a little smooth. No, 474 00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:54,360 Speaker 1: it's much smoother at thirty five. It just depends on 475 00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:57,680 Speaker 1: where how the jetway, where the turbulence. So sometimes you're 476 00:29:57,680 --> 00:29:59,520 Speaker 1: going to go you know, you're gonna go lower, or 477 00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:01,560 Speaker 1: you're going to because they find that smooth air. Have 478 00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:04,240 Speaker 1: you ever been up to forty five? Because this is 479 00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:06,840 Speaker 1: a good analogy, by the way, because sometimes you got 480 00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:09,120 Speaker 1: to go higher to find the smooth air, and then 481 00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:11,440 Speaker 1: sometimes you got to dip lower. You never know where 482 00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:15,760 Speaker 1: that's smooth air. It's true, you gotta find the smooth pockets. Yeah. Yeah, Oh, 483 00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:18,440 Speaker 1: this is a good analogy. I like it. It's true. 484 00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:21,120 Speaker 1: We need like a little we need like a we 485 00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:27,720 Speaker 1: need that audio and some funny little drawing, no, like 486 00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:31,600 Speaker 1: an animated drawing of a plane growing up and down 487 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:35,800 Speaker 1: trying to find right it's the plane is the plane 488 00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:39,920 Speaker 1: represents your emotional self and it's like whoo, like it 489 00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:42,200 Speaker 1: some smooth air here like oh shit, it's getting bumpy, 490 00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:47,160 Speaker 1: gotta go, you gotta descend. I like it. I like it. 491 00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:49,920 Speaker 1: You got to bring the speedback. You got to bring 492 00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:59,560 Speaker 1: the speedback and go low. Each and every here it is. Yeah, 493 00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:02,120 Speaker 1: this is this is for this for the stinky people 494 00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:04,920 Speaker 1: out there who don't want to put all kinds of 495 00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:09,360 Speaker 1: crap under their armpits. I'm raising my car chemicals and 496 00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:12,560 Speaker 1: mercuries under your armpits. I'm raising my arm and guess 497 00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:15,280 Speaker 1: what you're raising her armpit. I can't even smell you, 498 00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:17,720 Speaker 1: smell or can't even smell you. You know why, because 499 00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:20,800 Speaker 1: you have each and every on It's the first for 500 00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:26,480 Speaker 1: me personally. It's the first natural deodorant that actually works. 501 00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:29,880 Speaker 1: It does. Tried it for years. I've put rocks under 502 00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:34,680 Speaker 1: my arms that doesn't work, weird crystals that doesn't work, 503 00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:38,200 Speaker 1: Each and every they have. They have a new limited 504 00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:42,160 Speaker 1: edition white camera meal and Bergamont, which may do you 505 00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:46,440 Speaker 1: say kama meal or Cama mile? I say cam a meal, right, 506 00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:51,040 Speaker 1: I kind of like Cama mile, well, camera meal, Cama 507 00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:55,200 Speaker 1: mile potato potato. Uh. This is a limited scent. It's 508 00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:59,000 Speaker 1: really really yummy. It's a great spring scent. I would 509 00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:02,040 Speaker 1: definitely recommend it, and I love each and every I've 510 00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:06,120 Speaker 1: been loving it. I will I will only talk about 511 00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:09,840 Speaker 1: things that I actually use, So this I would very 512 00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:13,960 Speaker 1: much for anybody out there who really wants natural deodorant deodorant. 513 00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:16,200 Speaker 1: I would also say to you please, if you don't 514 00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:21,440 Speaker 1: use natural deodorant, it's a wonderful step into you know, 515 00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:25,200 Speaker 1: putting more healthy things on your body and into your body. 516 00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:30,440 Speaker 1: Our armpits are direct, you know, the sweat glands right 517 00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:33,240 Speaker 1: into our lymph nodes. It is very important that we 518 00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:37,280 Speaker 1: are using natural deodorance. And they're getting way better at 519 00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:40,360 Speaker 1: making good ones. Each and every has made an excellent one. 520 00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:44,240 Speaker 1: So it's also founded by women, and I do love 521 00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:49,240 Speaker 1: supporting women owned brands. It's six ingredients, that's it, six 522 00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:54,440 Speaker 1: safe ingredients. Coconut oil, dead sea salt, essential oils. You 523 00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:57,040 Speaker 1: can pretty much eat it. Don't do that, but you 524 00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:59,320 Speaker 1: know if you get if you get stuck in a 525 00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:02,520 Speaker 1: buy and maybe just take a bite. So trust us, 526 00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:06,040 Speaker 1: you're gonna love each and every order. Today, we've got 527 00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:08,880 Speaker 1: a great offer for our listeners. For limited time only, 528 00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:12,440 Speaker 1: get thirty percent off your first purchase. Go to each 529 00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:17,040 Speaker 1: and every dot com sibling and use promo code Sibling thirty. 530 00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:21,560 Speaker 1: That's thirty percent off with promo code sibling thirty at 531 00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:29,640 Speaker 1: each and every dot com slash sibling Dear Kate and Oliver, 532 00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:32,680 Speaker 1: thank you for this podcast. Sometimes I find it hard 533 00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:35,040 Speaker 1: to listen to the podcast because I actually don't have 534 00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:38,480 Speaker 1: a relationship with my siblings or parents. Long story short, 535 00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:40,080 Speaker 1: I grew up in foster care and was in a 536 00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:43,240 Speaker 1: different home to my siblings. I've also decided for my 537 00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:46,400 Speaker 1: own piece to not have a relationship with them or 538 00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:50,240 Speaker 1: my biological mother because of private matters, and I don't 539 00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:53,280 Speaker 1: know who my father is. I loved how you touched 540 00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:55,720 Speaker 1: on that we can reconnect and I know right now 541 00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:58,720 Speaker 1: that I'm not in a place to reconnect with my siblings, 542 00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:01,440 Speaker 1: but I do want to in the future, so it's 543 00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:05,160 Speaker 1: great that you discussed how. Also, I love that you 544 00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:07,960 Speaker 1: mentioned that you don't have to reconnect with a relative 545 00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:11,640 Speaker 1: if it is harmful to your happiness, and that is 546 00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:14,400 Speaker 1: really great because there's a lot of guilt that is 547 00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:17,760 Speaker 1: attached to that. Also, I do feel like I hide 548 00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:20,880 Speaker 1: that I don't have a relationship with my family members, 549 00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,359 Speaker 1: and I'm glad I'm really not the only one. Thank 550 00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:27,920 Speaker 1: you for discussing this. I feel seen and heard from Carla. 551 00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:32,560 Speaker 1: Oh this is this is so tough. Yeah, there's so 552 00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:37,160 Speaker 1: many kids in the foster care system there. It's it's 553 00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:41,160 Speaker 1: it's just wild, Like when you actually start to look 554 00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:45,000 Speaker 1: into it, it's just so heartbreaking that it's almost like 555 00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:47,920 Speaker 1: hard to to look. It's hard. It's hard to research 556 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:52,239 Speaker 1: because there are just so many kids without homes, without families, 557 00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:55,759 Speaker 1: And like she's saying, like, you know, how do you 558 00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:59,480 Speaker 1: reconcile these things your biological mother? How do you know, 559 00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:02,480 Speaker 1: I don't even know where to begin. This is way 560 00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:07,480 Speaker 1: above my ability to even comprehend what that must feel like. 561 00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:10,880 Speaker 1: I would say only this just because of again my 562 00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:14,680 Speaker 1: time at Hoffmann, which is there's this everyone has their 563 00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:17,799 Speaker 1: story there, you know, not that it's right, but there's 564 00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,600 Speaker 1: a reason for why your parents did what they did, 565 00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:23,160 Speaker 1: and maybe it was something they couldn't control themselves, something 566 00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:26,239 Speaker 1: that they were affected, how they were affected by their 567 00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:28,919 Speaker 1: parents and so on, you know. I mean that's where 568 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:31,719 Speaker 1: forgiveness can come in, if you can learn their story 569 00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:34,880 Speaker 1: and maybe get a deeper understanding of who they were 570 00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:37,880 Speaker 1: and maybe the lack of tools that they had to 571 00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:41,240 Speaker 1: be able to be parents or to support that relationship. 572 00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:45,400 Speaker 1: You know, but again, who knows. It's also that, you know, 573 00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:50,320 Speaker 1: the clichehade thing, which where every everybody who's ever felt 574 00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:54,200 Speaker 1: any abandonment or neglect or anything like that, it's like, 575 00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:58,560 Speaker 1: it's not about you or divorce parents. You know, it's 576 00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:01,239 Speaker 1: not about you. It was never about you. And that's 577 00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:04,040 Speaker 1: a really easy thing to say, and it's a hard 578 00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:08,759 Speaker 1: thing to feel, and it's hard. It's like easier said 579 00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:12,319 Speaker 1: than done. It's like you can intellectually know that it 580 00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:16,479 Speaker 1: wasn't about you, but the programming of it in your 581 00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:24,120 Speaker 1: brain is like this traumatic, continuous feeling that when something 582 00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:27,400 Speaker 1: else comes up, it could be something totally and completely different. 583 00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:30,800 Speaker 1: It triggers that old part of your brain that feels 584 00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:34,520 Speaker 1: like you aren't worthy, that you are going to be left, 585 00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:38,960 Speaker 1: that you don't deserve love, that you whatever it is, 586 00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:41,440 Speaker 1: you know that is your trick. You know that is 587 00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:47,239 Speaker 1: your programming to deprogram that takes so much work and 588 00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:53,560 Speaker 1: so much effort and so much dedications. It's just so 589 00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:57,840 Speaker 1: much easier said than done. But it is simply that 590 00:36:57,920 --> 00:37:02,120 Speaker 1: it wasn't ever about you. It's like Matt Damon and 591 00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:05,440 Speaker 1: Robin Williams and Goodwill Hunting. He's like, it's not your fault, kid, 592 00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:08,279 Speaker 1: It's not your fault. Remember this. Oh my god, I 593 00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:11,399 Speaker 1: don't even got I'm gonna start crying. And then Matt 594 00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:13,239 Speaker 1: saying him is like dude, I know whatever, and then 595 00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:17,359 Speaker 1: he starts screaming crying, and oh I can relate. That 596 00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:22,160 Speaker 1: scene made me lose it. Yeah, I'm crying just thinking 597 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:29,080 Speaker 1: about that scene on Robin Williams too. But yeah, you know, you, you, 598 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:33,200 Speaker 1: you know you. Everybody deserves a good life. You're born 599 00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:38,760 Speaker 1: into this world deserving the best, and anything that doesn't 600 00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:42,239 Speaker 1: give you anything other than that isn't about you. It's 601 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:45,320 Speaker 1: about someone else. I also think that, like what you said, 602 00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:49,440 Speaker 1: you know, with how it's easier said than done. You know, 603 00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:55,600 Speaker 1: there's a lot to sort of go through to reconcile 604 00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:58,560 Speaker 1: or even reconcile with yourself or understand that it isn't 605 00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:02,640 Speaker 1: your fault. And but I will say that that doesn't 606 00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:06,040 Speaker 1: mean you don't start, because at least personally, what happens 607 00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:09,560 Speaker 1: is once you scratch the surface and you learn something, 608 00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:14,480 Speaker 1: it becomes exponentially easier to keep sliding down. And I 609 00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:17,000 Speaker 1: mean I mean not sliding down, but keep going down 610 00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:21,560 Speaker 1: that path because you start to feel how it works 611 00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:24,400 Speaker 1: and how it just you know, bubbles up and then 612 00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:26,359 Speaker 1: you're like, oh god, I learned this, and I want more. 613 00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:30,000 Speaker 1: I want more. It becomes easier, you know, to at 614 00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:35,520 Speaker 1: least seek and try to help yourself. At least for me, 615 00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:40,480 Speaker 1: this makes me think about how many people really suffer 616 00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:44,040 Speaker 1: from feeling alone. There's just so many people who don't 617 00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:48,160 Speaker 1: feel seen and heard, and it's just not okay, you know. 618 00:38:48,239 --> 00:38:52,200 Speaker 1: It's like, you know, as you were talking, I started 619 00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:55,120 Speaker 1: thinking about purpose, like what is the purpose of all 620 00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:58,280 Speaker 1: of this, like of all of it just being here alive, 621 00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:01,400 Speaker 1: like on this planet. What is the purpose? Like what 622 00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:06,480 Speaker 1: are we doing? You know? And I think, I think, honestly, 623 00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:11,120 Speaker 1: I think now more than ever, the openness and being 624 00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:16,279 Speaker 1: able to talk about feeling loved, Like it's just like, 625 00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:18,479 Speaker 1: that's that's it. At the end of the day. That's 626 00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:23,120 Speaker 1: all anyone really needs is to feel loved. And and 627 00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:28,520 Speaker 1: when you you know that that active verb, you know, 628 00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:32,239 Speaker 1: love to love. When I feel loved, it's when I 629 00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:36,959 Speaker 1: feel seen and heard from someone you know, and and 630 00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:40,440 Speaker 1: so many times in a in a real way, not 631 00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:44,560 Speaker 1: in like some bullshit digital era. Oh I feel seen 632 00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:47,040 Speaker 1: and heard because people are commenting on a post or 633 00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:49,880 Speaker 1: oh I feel so unloved because people are hating on 634 00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:52,560 Speaker 1: me right now? What not not that? I mean real 635 00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:57,440 Speaker 1: connective like like yeah, like like like what Gwyneth posted 636 00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:05,000 Speaker 1: on my account like that, you know, it like brings 637 00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:09,279 Speaker 1: me back to when we interviewed you weren't there, you 638 00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:14,400 Speaker 1: were sick. But the Veig Martin and his book about 639 00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:18,319 Speaker 1: loneliness being an epidemic, and these are this is Carla is. 640 00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:22,000 Speaker 1: This is a real one oh one example of how 641 00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:25,800 Speaker 1: someone could could could carry this loneliness into their life 642 00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:28,879 Speaker 1: when they come from a foster care system, they don't 643 00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:30,520 Speaker 1: know their siblings, they don't want to have a relationship 644 00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:32,239 Speaker 1: their siblings, they don't want to have a relationship with 645 00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:36,080 Speaker 1: their mother. And then intrinsically, what does that create inside 646 00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:40,840 Speaker 1: of someone you know or rowan who wants to alienate 647 00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:42,839 Speaker 1: herself from her family. You know, there's a sort of 648 00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:50,000 Speaker 1: a theme of people feeling alone m hm. And how 649 00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:54,720 Speaker 1: do we create a life for ourselves to feel connected? 650 00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:57,919 Speaker 1: You know, you got to let go of your past shit. 651 00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:02,800 Speaker 1: I have an idea what we create an agency. And 652 00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:07,920 Speaker 1: in our agency we have you know, mother's daughters, siblings, friends, 653 00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:12,280 Speaker 1: and we can give them give people who are lonely 654 00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:15,240 Speaker 1: what they need. So it's like, oh, you need a mom. Okay, 655 00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:18,319 Speaker 1: you know Central Casting, here you go. How does this 656 00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:21,359 Speaker 1: one look great? You know we can hire her out. 657 00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:25,800 Speaker 1: I think it could be a good business, you know, 658 00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:29,799 Speaker 1: imagine that, right, So this is so like weirdly, I 659 00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:33,160 Speaker 1: feel like I just entered her. Like the Spike Jones movie. 660 00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:36,160 Speaker 1: You're like on like a screen, You're like, I need 661 00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:39,120 Speaker 1: a mom, and you like, press a mother that looks 662 00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:40,800 Speaker 1: like the mother that you'd like to have. Give it. 663 00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:42,880 Speaker 1: Imagine like a Black Mirror episode where it's like in 664 00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:47,279 Speaker 1: the future ish and everyone's just become hyper lonely, and 665 00:41:47,320 --> 00:41:50,000 Speaker 1: now there's an agency where you are literally sort of 666 00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:53,960 Speaker 1: renting out people to sort of, you know, fulfill that. 667 00:41:53,960 --> 00:42:00,360 Speaker 1: That's trippy. Yeah, it's also terrifying. Exactly, I need a 668 00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:07,239 Speaker 1: new brother. That's our version of this. It's not even 669 00:42:07,239 --> 00:42:10,040 Speaker 1: about loneliness. It's like, honestly, I just need to get 670 00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:17,200 Speaker 1: him out of my life, like I need a new brother. No, 671 00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:19,520 Speaker 1: I would never want a new brother. I don't know 672 00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:22,120 Speaker 1: what i'd do with that mine. As long as I 673 00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:26,600 Speaker 1: stay in your will, you can do whatever you want. Also, wait, 674 00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:29,480 Speaker 1: I do want to I do want to acknowledge that 675 00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:34,279 Speaker 1: we got so many emails on the Estrangement episode and 676 00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:38,040 Speaker 1: people sharing their stories. So everyone out there, thank you 677 00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:41,000 Speaker 1: for sharing this with us. It's so wonderful to be 678 00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:45,239 Speaker 1: able to talk about this stuff out loud and and 679 00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:50,120 Speaker 1: just get it off our chests. No, there's no shaming here, 680 00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:54,719 Speaker 1: whatever side of the story you're on, whether you're the 681 00:42:54,760 --> 00:43:00,839 Speaker 1: a stranger or the estrange. I don't even know if 682 00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:03,320 Speaker 1: it's a real thing, but I like it. You should 683 00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:05,120 Speaker 1: make T shirts that say that and send one to 684 00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:08,160 Speaker 1: our dad. But I like that. I also like stranger 685 00:43:08,280 --> 00:43:12,640 Speaker 1: and with a stranger, that's funny. That's a good shirts. 686 00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:17,640 Speaker 1: That's what that's what we should swag it out imaginally, 687 00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:21,520 Speaker 1: dark and weird. A digital stranger is called an e stranger, 688 00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:35,239 Speaker 1: an e stranger, it's a digital stranger. Oliver Hudson. One 689 00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:38,879 Speaker 1: listener shared their very personal story, but said, I say 690 00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:42,040 Speaker 1: the whole dang book to say thank you, and you 691 00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:45,000 Speaker 1: guys aren't alone either. I know what it feels like 692 00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:47,080 Speaker 1: to be a strange, and I also know what it 693 00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:49,720 Speaker 1: feels like to want to reconcile. It's a whole host 694 00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:53,160 Speaker 1: of feelings. Hearing your podcast and your stories has been 695 00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:55,400 Speaker 1: my light at the end of the tunnel. You've given 696 00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:58,560 Speaker 1: me friendship with complete strangers and a community of kids, 697 00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:01,279 Speaker 1: the kid and all of us adults that are more 698 00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:03,759 Speaker 1: alike than I could have ever known. Thank you for 699 00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:06,720 Speaker 1: all that you do with just simply sharing a piece 700 00:44:06,719 --> 00:44:08,600 Speaker 1: of your lives. Much love, and I wish you guys 701 00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:14,239 Speaker 1: nothing but the best as fellow kids with complicated parental relationships. Oh, 702 00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:17,120 Speaker 1: I love that. Thank you for sharing that I loved. 703 00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:20,640 Speaker 1: We loved hearing that one. Kate and Oliver. I just 704 00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:22,239 Speaker 1: want to say thank you so much for all the 705 00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:25,440 Speaker 1: laughs you bring each week. I started listening to you 706 00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:28,320 Speaker 1: during quarantine, when I took my poor dog for walks 707 00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:31,439 Speaker 1: of bazillion times each day. You always have a great 708 00:44:31,480 --> 00:44:33,719 Speaker 1: message and I find myself walking down the street and 709 00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:37,000 Speaker 1: laughing out loud during every episode. I often wonder what 710 00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:38,840 Speaker 1: the people in the neighborhood think when they see me 711 00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:41,839 Speaker 1: doing that. I have a twin brother. We grew up 712 00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:44,120 Speaker 1: out in the middle of nowhere, so we only really 713 00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:46,520 Speaker 1: had each other to play with when we were little. 714 00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:49,360 Speaker 1: Funny how we never got to play what I wanted 715 00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:53,200 Speaker 1: teacher Baker Arts and Crafts. Instead, we played football, cops, 716 00:44:53,280 --> 00:44:56,680 Speaker 1: and robbers and had some knockout pillow fights. Really I 717 00:44:56,760 --> 00:45:00,200 Speaker 1: knocked them out once. We loved each other and we 718 00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:02,760 Speaker 1: were always together. It worked out well in high school 719 00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:05,319 Speaker 1: because we could because he could invite over boys I 720 00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:07,480 Speaker 1: had a crush on, and I could invite the girls. 721 00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:10,160 Speaker 1: We got older and we were deciding where to go 722 00:45:10,239 --> 00:45:12,440 Speaker 1: to college. I wanted to be a teacher, so I 723 00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:15,359 Speaker 1: was looking at schools that specialize in that. I found 724 00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:17,960 Speaker 1: a small school and was going to go there. He 725 00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:20,160 Speaker 1: wanted to go to a larger school and was set 726 00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:22,520 Speaker 1: to go. One day, I was just sitting in my 727 00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:24,480 Speaker 1: room and he came to the door and asked me 728 00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:26,960 Speaker 1: where I was going to college. I told him I 729 00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:28,719 Speaker 1: wasn't quite sure, but I thought I was going to 730 00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:31,480 Speaker 1: go to Saint Mary's. He said, I think you should 731 00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:35,000 Speaker 1: go to MSU. I asked him, why not, looking up 732 00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:37,560 Speaker 1: from what I was doing. He said, because I miss you. 733 00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:41,479 Speaker 1: I looked up and he was gone. Needless to say, 734 00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:43,960 Speaker 1: we went to the same college and had a blast together. 735 00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:47,640 Speaker 1: After college, we moved to separate places. We still stay 736 00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:50,920 Speaker 1: in touch, but nothing like before when we were always together. Oliver, 737 00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:54,120 Speaker 1: you remind me so much of him. What you say, 738 00:45:54,200 --> 00:45:57,319 Speaker 1: and your mannerisms and Kate, that laugh that you do 739 00:45:57,400 --> 00:45:59,600 Speaker 1: when Allie says something funny is exactly what I do 740 00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:02,799 Speaker 1: with my other So thank you. I tend to call 741 00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:05,160 Speaker 1: my brother after I listened to you. It's a great 742 00:46:05,160 --> 00:46:08,440 Speaker 1: reminder of how much fun we have when we are together. 743 00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:11,560 Speaker 1: Please keep making more episodes. My poor dog can go 744 00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:15,120 Speaker 1: on a walk after walk after walk after walk. Love 745 00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:17,880 Speaker 1: you guys, Janna, Oh, Jane, we love you too. I 746 00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:22,640 Speaker 1: love that one. Oh. It makes me a little sad 747 00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:24,880 Speaker 1: that they're not They don't they're not together. You know 748 00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:27,880 Speaker 1: that they're not in the same place, but you know 749 00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:29,680 Speaker 1: the same that he said because I miss you and 750 00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:31,600 Speaker 1: looked up and he was gone. That doesn't that does 751 00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:34,920 Speaker 1: make me. It actually does remind me of you and 752 00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:38,920 Speaker 1: like the whole thing of like the girls, and you 753 00:46:38,960 --> 00:46:40,800 Speaker 1: know what I mean, because we were closer in age, 754 00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:44,360 Speaker 1: you know, your your friends, and when we were younger, 755 00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:46,600 Speaker 1: I know it was I know that that was that 756 00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:49,000 Speaker 1: was that was a shift. It used to be you 757 00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:51,879 Speaker 1: at my door, and then now and then it turned 758 00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:54,520 Speaker 1: into me at your door. You know your girlfriends, and 759 00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:58,440 Speaker 1: I know well you know, I love long I can 760 00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:02,120 Speaker 1: continue a relationship it's life man like. People need to 761 00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:03,880 Speaker 1: do what they need to do. There's a separation as 762 00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:06,680 Speaker 1: long as it's that, as long as that connection is 763 00:47:06,680 --> 00:47:11,480 Speaker 1: still there. You know, it's so fun that they they 764 00:47:11,680 --> 00:47:16,440 Speaker 1: you know that we're our podcast, that this like strange 765 00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:20,520 Speaker 1: little thing we decided to do has resonated. I still 766 00:47:20,600 --> 00:47:22,640 Speaker 1: I'm still in it. I guess it's like when I 767 00:47:22,680 --> 00:47:26,120 Speaker 1: see myself on a magazine, I feel totally disassociated from it. 768 00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:30,080 Speaker 1: It's kind of like mm hmm, it's it never feels normal. 769 00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:32,640 Speaker 1: I think the same thing about this podcast. Like we 770 00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:35,080 Speaker 1: sit here and we do this, and we talk to 771 00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:37,799 Speaker 1: each other, and we have a blast doing it, and 772 00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:41,400 Speaker 1: we get to connect. Janna, thank you so much. I 773 00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:44,440 Speaker 1: love laughing with my brother. Oh well, you know, look, 774 00:47:44,680 --> 00:47:46,880 Speaker 1: I love laughing. I love making people laugh. There are 775 00:47:46,920 --> 00:47:49,640 Speaker 1: certain people who I love making laugh more than others, 776 00:47:49,719 --> 00:47:51,880 Speaker 1: and you are definitely at the top of that list. 777 00:47:52,320 --> 00:47:55,000 Speaker 1: You know. Making you laugh is when when you when 778 00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:57,600 Speaker 1: I can get you to that point of like hard 779 00:47:57,680 --> 00:48:02,000 Speaker 1: to breathe, sort of hysterics. It's fucking the best. It's 780 00:48:02,040 --> 00:48:06,319 Speaker 1: you and paw jaw and you and mom. You know 781 00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:09,680 Speaker 1: what I mean. Yeah, yeah, it's so bad, but but no, 782 00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:12,920 Speaker 1: And what I wanted to say was I love to laugh, 783 00:48:13,120 --> 00:48:15,440 Speaker 1: but it's the opposite of what you're saying. There's a 784 00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:20,120 Speaker 1: few people that make me laugh like that. I just 785 00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:25,640 Speaker 1: it's almost like therapy, like it's Oliver and it's Rider 786 00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:28,880 Speaker 1: that I laugh with I think the most. And Mom, 787 00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:31,880 Speaker 1: Mom and I will have p in her pants laughing 788 00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:36,160 Speaker 1: moments that like aren't explainable to anybody but us, Like 789 00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:38,640 Speaker 1: you know where we'll just start, We'll get on one 790 00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:43,440 Speaker 1: and it's just that's it. But but the the the 791 00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:49,719 Speaker 1: therapeutic laughter of like of life always do you know 792 00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:52,439 Speaker 1: what I mean? Does that make sense? Oh, it's you 793 00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:57,080 Speaker 1: and Rider. It's just it's like every day there's laughter. Yeah, 794 00:48:57,760 --> 00:49:02,400 Speaker 1: it's the best. There's nothing like it. Honestly. Really, it's healing, 795 00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:05,399 Speaker 1: there's no doubt about it. It's like I can't live 796 00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:09,840 Speaker 1: without it if I'm if I'm feeling heavy, like and 797 00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:12,520 Speaker 1: then I realize a lot of times when I'm in 798 00:49:12,600 --> 00:49:15,600 Speaker 1: a funk, I'm like, I haven't laughed, I haven't been 799 00:49:15,760 --> 00:49:20,080 Speaker 1: with an around laughter. It's too much weight you need 800 00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:24,840 Speaker 1: to get, you need to vibrate higher. Sometimes you know 801 00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:27,120 Speaker 1: there's a time and a place, but I think daily 802 00:49:28,680 --> 00:49:31,920 Speaker 1: to have some kind of levity and laughter. It must 803 00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:34,760 Speaker 1: be some trick to longevity. It's got to be Listen, 804 00:49:34,880 --> 00:49:37,799 Speaker 1: this was the best I loved. I loved these emails. 805 00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:42,759 Speaker 1: Thank you keep writing in. We love hearing you. And 806 00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:45,880 Speaker 1: one day we hope we can talk to some of 807 00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:49,720 Speaker 1: you in person or yeah, we should do that that idea. Yeah, 808 00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:56,480 Speaker 1: and and I love you Allie Hudson go Back to Sibling. 809 00:49:56,520 --> 00:50:00,280 Speaker 1: Revelry is executive produced by Kate Hudson and Oliver hudsonroducer 810 00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:04,359 Speaker 1: as Alison. President. Editor is Josh Wendish. Music by Mark 811 00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:07,880 Speaker 1: Hudson aka Uncle Mark. If you want to show us 812 00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:10,640 Speaker 1: some love, rate the show and leave us a review. 813 00:50:10,719 --> 00:50:14,359 Speaker 1: This show is powered by simple cast