Speaker 1: This could be the most stupid thing you've ever heard,
Speaker 1: are the most revolutionary, Oh my god, aha moment of
Speaker 1: your whole life. If you particularly with Christmas coming up
Speaker 1: and all the ship that's coming into your house, okay,
Speaker 1: all the goddamn unnecessary gifts, and you're just sucking pumping
Speaker 1: the system. If you want your kids to get rid
Speaker 1: of ship in their rooms, and I mean stuffed animals,
Speaker 1: old clothes, toys, electronics, whatever it is, you just want
Speaker 1: the ship out of there. Their skincare, these kids of
Speaker 1: the skincare fridges, these routines. At whatever age, it could
Speaker 1: be a seven year old getting rid of stuffed animals.
Speaker 1: Here's how you do it. Mom. Can I get how
Speaker 1: many times a day? Do you here? Mom? Can I get?
Speaker 1: How many times a week do I? Can I get?
Speaker 1: Can we get? Can I get? Can I order? Mom?
Speaker 1: Can I send you a link? Mom? Can you prove
Speaker 1: to buy blah blah blah? Right? How many times every
Speaker 1: time your kid wants to buy something? It doesn't matter
Speaker 1: if it's a lip gloss or a toy car, whatever
Speaker 1: the hell it is, right, Okay, if you agree with
Speaker 1: the purchase, okay, And I'll go up to five. If
Speaker 1: it's a big item that they really want and they're
Speaker 1: really obsessed with it. Fine, go in your room and
Speaker 1: find five things that you're getting rid of. It could
Speaker 1: be a pair of underwear, it could be a book,
Speaker 1: whatever it is, go find you know, unless you know
Speaker 1: that the closets swollen to beyond and then and I'll
Speaker 1: be like, go get and she'll like I can't. I'm like,
Speaker 1: you can go through every category, go through the costumes,
Speaker 1: go through whatever. Yesterday it was a bathing suit. Can
Speaker 1: I get a bathing suit in my bathing suits? Crunchy whatever? Okay,
Speaker 1: Well bring the bathing suits out that are old, because
Speaker 1: they leave ship in their room. So it's just going
Speaker 1: in one direction. That's why you have clogged drawers like arteries.
Speaker 1: So I say, fine, bring out the ones that you
Speaker 1: say you don't that direct and and something else. So like,
Speaker 1: yesterday was a bathing so I'll get you one bathing suit.
Speaker 1: I want three things to come out of that room,
Speaker 1: and they actually have to. If you have this as
Speaker 1: a regular practice, in the beginning, it will be easy.
Speaker 1: It could be a squishable, stuffy, a fidget whatever. In
Speaker 1: the beginning, it's easy. Once they start doing it, it
Speaker 1: becomes more difficult. Fine, keep going, come out of there
Speaker 1: with three things. And they do it, and it's great
Speaker 1: because you're going in the right direction. And they learned that.
Speaker 1: They learned that what they have in their closets and
Speaker 1: their toys is good. They want to have only good.
Speaker 1: It's how I roll, like, I want good in my closet.
Speaker 1: I don't want a bunch of clutter. I don't want
Speaker 1: crusty bathing suits in there. I want only good. So
Speaker 1: if you get into the habit, and by the way
Speaker 1: you do it too, you're buying something. Fine. One thing
Speaker 1: comes in, two things go out. I did a shopping spree.
Speaker 1: Everything was like this crazy sack sale in Cincinnati, Ohio,
Speaker 1: like Valentino, like really high end stuff. And I called
Speaker 1: and I was with my assistant and we were having
Speaker 1: panic attacks and dehydrated because we're buying so much ship
Speaker 1: and we were like, we're getting home in a purge
Speaker 1: is happening, And I said, I want to level up
Speaker 1: with some of my clothes. And I got home and
Speaker 1: I got rid. Some of it had tags, some I
Speaker 1: was bummed out about some my of away. Whatever, it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter, you know, go do it with your towels.
Speaker 1: Do your sheets, do with anything you have coming in
Speaker 1: get rid. It's a great practice. It will change you're
Speaker 1: like Paul told me, it's liberating. He's like, it's so satisfying,
Speaker 1: so just do it. Just a random thought. I'd like
Speaker 1: to reiterate that I in two thousand nineteen tweeted that
Speaker 1: Pete Davidson shoots diamonds out of his penis. I repeated
Speaker 1: it again, and here I am in two. That is
Speaker 1: not aging like milk. That is aging like fine wine.
Speaker 1: That tweet, I mean two thousand nineteen, and I said,
Speaker 1: Pete Davidson shoots diamonds out of his dick? What is
Speaker 1: he shooting out of there? Now? They must be pink
Speaker 1: or purple diamonds, blue rare diamonds. Okay, because that's very serious.
Speaker 1: The whole phone thing is a scam. I just want
Speaker 1: to mention that the chargers that don't work with their chargers.
Speaker 1: The big charger now fits in the iPad but doesn't
Speaker 1: fit in the air pods, but doesn't fit in the thing.
Speaker 1: It's a different charger for that. Brent is a different
Speaker 1: charger than I have a charge charging. Her iPad charger
Speaker 1: is different than my phone charger. Then the phone changes,
Speaker 1: then the phone case charge, then the phone case changes.
Speaker 1: Then the phone case doesn't work anymore, and the phone
Speaker 1: case doesn't charge anymore. Then your phone says fuck you,
Speaker 1: and you didn't do an update. Then your phone says
Speaker 1: fuck you and you didn't buy the new phone. It's
Speaker 1: just such a fucking scam. And I know some of
Speaker 1: you hate when I curse. I can't say it any
Speaker 1: other way. It's a scam. The phone mafia try to
Speaker 1: change your phone. What about when your phone starts crapping
Speaker 1: out and you have to change it down, you start
Speaker 1: sweating and panicking. You know you're gonna be without your
Speaker 1: phone for a day. You're in limbo, You're in no
Speaker 1: man's land. You're in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle
Speaker 1: with the Lockness Monster. You don't know whether to go
Speaker 1: back and be with your old ship phone that doesn't
Speaker 1: even work, because you're just scared to go into the
Speaker 1: big wide ocean of a new phone which has new
Speaker 1: ship on it that you don't understand because you are
Speaker 1: in the mafia, and they put your head underwater, drowning you,
Speaker 1: water boarding you, making you get this new phone you
Speaker 1: didn't even want that as new charges. You don't understand
Speaker 1: that doesn't work with any of your old cases that
Speaker 1: you bought and got so excited because they're blinged out
Speaker 1: and they have like fish tanks in them. What a
Speaker 1: bag of bullshit? This Ponzi scheme is that we are
Speaker 1: all part of. I look at people with a Samsung phone.
Speaker 1: They take the best pictures. Let me make an announcement.
Speaker 1: Samsung takes the best pictures. Sometimes you're on a vacation
Speaker 1: and I don't know, you see someone else's phone, or
Speaker 1: you someone that works with me. I don't know why
Speaker 1: I've seen Samsung phones. Why, oh I know why someone
Speaker 1: asked you to take a picture of them on vacation.
Speaker 1: And you see what a Samsung phone can do. And
Speaker 1: it can open up and flip sideways and look like
Speaker 1: an iPod but like oor gami itself into a tiny
Speaker 1: little Chinese fortune cookie, like one of those little like
Speaker 1: paper games you play. And I'm like, I want, but
Speaker 1: you're not allowed. You're in the Apple mafia. You can
Speaker 1: never go back once you were in here, no we
Speaker 1: have you. You killed a couple of people. Now you've
Speaker 1: fucking got you. You can never go back. I looked
Speaker 1: at a girl works with me. She has a Microsoft computer. Like,
Speaker 1: what do you call, like, not an Android computer? Whatever?
Speaker 1: That is? That an Android whatever? It's called the opposite
Speaker 1: of like Apple Mafia cult, the Apple Mafia cult. I
Speaker 1: look over and I'm like, and I said it to
Speaker 1: PAULIC said, but I I've always liked the Samsung for years.
Speaker 1: I've been saying this. I want the BlackBerry back I wrote.
Speaker 1: I wrote five books on a BlackBerry. So I'm like, Paul,
Speaker 1: I would love to say, so, don't even talk about it,
Speaker 1: Like what is it? You can't you can't like why
Speaker 1: And I'm not even on his networks. You can? Then
Speaker 1: you're green, Then you're green, Now you're green, Now you're Shrek,
Speaker 1: You're a loser. I bully one of my pistal I'm like,
Speaker 1: why don't you get a real phone? Because she comes
Speaker 1: through on green. It makes me feel unsafe when there's
Speaker 1: one green in the middle of a group text. It
Speaker 1: makes me think none of the text went through. I
Speaker 1: have four people on my on my staff that go
Speaker 1: on these texts, and I text them all and because
Speaker 1: of that one green monster, now I don't know if
Speaker 1: anybody's getting a text. So I always don't trust and
Speaker 1: I always text her separately, but I'm like a green
Speaker 1: bully and I'm telling her something I don't even believe,
Speaker 1: like why don't you come over on our phone stuff?
Speaker 1: Get get get a phone? Like this, bullying her when
Speaker 1: I don't even believe in it. I just want her
Speaker 1: to kill somebody too and be in this mafia and
Speaker 1: be miserable like me. Because I say to Paul, I
Speaker 1: love the Samsung phone. I want to take pictures on
Speaker 1: that Samsung, and He's liked, don't even fucking think about it.
Speaker 1: Don't even think about it. You can't go back. It's
Speaker 1: in hand in Handmaids Tale, I mean gill Yad and
Speaker 1: they're like, I'm like, I just want to go. No,
Speaker 1: you cannot go to even Canada. You're here, You're never leaving.
Speaker 1: And you can get a thousand chargers and spend ten
Speaker 1: thousand dollars a year switching this program up, but you
Speaker 1: could sucking never go back, and you can never get
Speaker 1: a Samsung even though it takes better pictures. And you're
Speaker 1: an accidental beauty influencer