1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,560 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Angie and this is Dakota, your favorite 2 00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:05,320 Speaker 1: Okay story Time hosts, and we've got some great stories 3 00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:05,800 Speaker 1: coming up. 4 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:08,039 Speaker 2: But before that, we have a quick, too mini break 5 00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:10,360 Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep this show running. 6 00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:14,400 Speaker 1: My friend booked her wedding in the same week as mine. 7 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:17,680 Speaker 2: And didn't think it was a problem. Well, actually, girl, 8 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:18,840 Speaker 2: it is I. 9 00:00:19,079 --> 00:00:21,840 Speaker 1: Twenty nine female have this friend thirty female who booked 10 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:28,000 Speaker 1: their wedding date six days before ours. Four background, her boyfriend, 11 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:30,880 Speaker 1: I and my fiance went to the same university. We're 12 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:32,919 Speaker 1: not that close, but fast forward. The four of us 13 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,880 Speaker 1: are currently working abroad and became closer with the span 14 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:38,800 Speaker 1: of two years. Close friends is in we were together 15 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:41,400 Speaker 1: for almost every week for that period. By the way, 16 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:44,199 Speaker 1: this comes from web No. Forty four eleven, And if 17 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:45,600 Speaker 1: you want to spit your own stories, go to the 18 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:47,239 Speaker 1: our slush Okay Storytime severed it. 19 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:51,000 Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, I'm Savannah, I'm Keon. I'm back, and. 20 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,400 Speaker 1: We're back to give you good advice. Goofy, But we 21 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:55,200 Speaker 1: don't have all the answers. We only know what we do, 22 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:56,880 Speaker 1: so let us know what you would do in the comments. 23 00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,800 Speaker 1: Hey Doopie, says my fiance and I got engaged last 24 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:03,720 Speaker 1: and we booked the date, venue, and other major suppliers 25 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:06,039 Speaker 1: on the same month. We immediately told our friend group 26 00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:07,760 Speaker 1: about the date so that they can plot it in 27 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:09,040 Speaker 1: their calendar ahead of time. 28 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:10,040 Speaker 2: I've been sharing. 29 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,640 Speaker 1: Every detail to this close friend of mine since she 30 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:16,040 Speaker 1: had already appointed herself as one of my bridesmaids, which. 31 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:17,280 Speaker 2: I also intended to do. 32 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:21,640 Speaker 1: Then, four months after, this close friend of mine got engaged, 33 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:24,760 Speaker 1: which I'm obviously happy with, until she told me a 34 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:27,039 Speaker 1: month ago that they picked a date which is six 35 00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:29,000 Speaker 1: days before ours. 36 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 2: That's ridiculous. 37 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:33,440 Speaker 1: I was so shocked because it seems like she didn't 38 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:36,200 Speaker 1: consider the people around her. We have common friends who 39 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,680 Speaker 1: will both be attending our wedding, and both of our 40 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:41,240 Speaker 1: weddings will be held at the same city four hours 41 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:43,600 Speaker 1: away from the Metro. I immediately told her that I 42 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:45,920 Speaker 1: might not be on her wedding since for sure I'll 43 00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:47,920 Speaker 1: be busy a week before my wedding since I have 44 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:50,880 Speaker 1: no coordinator, I live abroad, and we will hold our 45 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:53,440 Speaker 1: wedding in our home country, which I only took a 46 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:56,680 Speaker 1: work leave for three weeks max. There's a lot to 47 00:01:56,760 --> 00:02:00,240 Speaker 1: do for last minute preparations. So after telling her that, 48 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:03,080 Speaker 1: she replied to me it's okay, I understand that leaves 49 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:05,280 Speaker 1: as if she was just given me an FYI, which 50 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:07,520 Speaker 1: hurts me a little bit more because it doesn't seem 51 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:09,360 Speaker 1: like she cares if I'm at her wedding or not. 52 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:12,560 Speaker 1: She's in my bridesmaid's list, but I'm planning to remove her. 53 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:13,080 Speaker 2: Due to this. 54 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:14,679 Speaker 3: Were you about to say brides maging. 55 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:18,560 Speaker 1: Rides majing list. She's doing magic, but I gotta let 56 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:20,520 Speaker 1: her go. I didn't talk to her about this, but 57 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:22,760 Speaker 1: I've been hurting since then. At the end of the day, 58 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:25,480 Speaker 1: it's not within my control. She can pick any date 59 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:28,480 Speaker 1: she wants, but I just hope she considered me in 60 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:31,240 Speaker 1: any way. So am I the a hole for having 61 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:33,680 Speaker 1: this feeling? What should I do? How can I tell 62 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:36,040 Speaker 1: her about removing her on my list without getting into 63 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:39,440 Speaker 1: these details. I thought about opening up to her, but 64 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:43,399 Speaker 1: I think she'll play the victim. Or maybe I'm just overreacting. 65 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:44,440 Speaker 1: And we've got an update. 66 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:48,200 Speaker 2: Folks, what do you think GOP should do? Not overreacting? 67 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 2: I think it's very hurtful. Yeah, absolutely, your friend have 68 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:56,280 Speaker 2: their wedding, like not even a week before yours and 69 00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:58,720 Speaker 2: then just be like, oh, you have to like put 70 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,320 Speaker 2: all your attention on my wedding and then try to 71 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:04,680 Speaker 2: also plan your wedding like right after it. Yeah, literally 72 00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:08,160 Speaker 2: six days later. Yeah that's so much time. Yeah, that 73 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:11,440 Speaker 2: is not happening. I do think if you're upset, you 74 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:12,400 Speaker 2: should talk to her. 75 00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:15,400 Speaker 1: If she was going to be your bridesmaid, presumably she 76 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:17,560 Speaker 1: was close, you know, a close friend. 77 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:19,440 Speaker 2: So I would talk to her first. 78 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:23,040 Speaker 1: See how she responds, Say that you're upset, and if 79 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:25,960 Speaker 1: she's like, oh, well, joke's on you. I don't freaking care, 80 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,400 Speaker 1: then you don't invite her to your wedding. 81 00:03:28,639 --> 00:03:30,880 Speaker 3: The fact that you haven't talked to her about it yet. Sorry, 82 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,960 Speaker 3: I would talk to her, yeah, be like, hey, this 83 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:35,080 Speaker 3: is not cool. You were supposed to be my bridesmaid. 84 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:35,880 Speaker 2: Yeah. 85 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:37,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a lot of feelings here if I did 86 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:39,360 Speaker 3: that to you kind of thing, you know, exactly. 87 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:43,680 Speaker 1: And I'm wondering if her friend planned this four months 88 00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:47,040 Speaker 1: after OP had already you know, decided on the date 89 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:50,440 Speaker 1: and everything, has OP already sent out the save the dates, 90 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,080 Speaker 1: because this girl might not even get people to come 91 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:55,800 Speaker 1: to her wedding, you know. But we got an update 92 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:58,600 Speaker 1: so let's see what op did. This is from a 93 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:01,600 Speaker 1: bit over five months later. Hello, So, at first I 94 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:04,320 Speaker 1: didn't cut off my close friend because I'm trying my 95 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:07,600 Speaker 1: best to remind myself that this is their wedding, not mine, 96 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:11,080 Speaker 1: so I have no control over. But something definitely changed between. 97 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:12,600 Speaker 2: Us, and I know she knows it too. 98 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:15,160 Speaker 1: A few months later, her fiance messaged and asked my 99 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,960 Speaker 1: fiance to be his groomsman. He even requested for my 100 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,800 Speaker 1: fiance to allot at least two to three days of 101 00:04:20,839 --> 00:04:24,560 Speaker 1: his time to prepare as a groomsmin insane. My blood boiled. 102 00:04:24,839 --> 00:04:28,120 Speaker 1: They set their wedding six days before ours. Then he 103 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:31,320 Speaker 1: had the audacity to ask for the prep days. Take 104 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:33,520 Speaker 1: note that's for the role of an entourage, so they 105 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:35,920 Speaker 1: knew that a groom needs maybe more than six days 106 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:39,039 Speaker 1: to prep for his own wedding. My fiance politely declined 107 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:41,839 Speaker 1: and explain that we have things to polish days before 108 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:44,200 Speaker 1: our wedding since we have no coordinator and we have 109 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:46,600 Speaker 1: a lot of things to do last minute prep. This 110 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:48,919 Speaker 1: girl also asked me about being a bridesmaid, but I 111 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:51,440 Speaker 1: politely declined as well. Gi low Ki asked me if 112 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:54,240 Speaker 1: they're still invited but indirectly told her that we will 113 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:56,960 Speaker 1: remove them on our list since we're considering that they're on. 114 00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 2: Their own honeymoon. 115 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:01,800 Speaker 1: Anyways, I was furious again at how inconsiderate they are, 116 00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:03,760 Speaker 1: so I decided to talk to her to open up 117 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:06,440 Speaker 1: about how I felt. So we went for a coffee 118 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:09,280 Speaker 1: and talked about the issue. None of us said sorry. 119 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:11,240 Speaker 1: She told me that if she were in my shoes, 120 00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:13,360 Speaker 1: she wouldn't feel mad about what they did. I think 121 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,720 Speaker 1: you have to change your wedding to six days before 122 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:19,640 Speaker 1: her wedding, then she'll know, and then she changes her 123 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:23,200 Speaker 1: wedding to six days before that, and then you change 124 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,400 Speaker 1: your wedding day back to the original one, and. 125 00:05:25,279 --> 00:05:28,919 Speaker 2: Then it's just two weeks, two weeks earlier, perfect than planned. 126 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:31,880 Speaker 1: She'd was like, based on my personality, I was just 127 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:34,680 Speaker 1: too emotional as a person. That's why I took it 128 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:36,680 Speaker 1: the way I did. She really wishes me to be 129 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:39,520 Speaker 1: part of her entourage and thought that six days was enough. 130 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:41,640 Speaker 1: I told her, it's easier to think that when your 131 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:44,280 Speaker 1: wedding is the first few days of the week and 132 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:45,039 Speaker 1: not the latter. 133 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:46,359 Speaker 2: Is fiance even. 134 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:49,160 Speaker 1: Asked three days of press as a groomsman, so they 135 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:51,680 Speaker 1: know that a groom needs to prep more than six days, 136 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,880 Speaker 1: especially if there's last minute things that we need to handle. 137 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:57,520 Speaker 1: After the talk, I realized that our EQ was not 138 00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:00,919 Speaker 1: the same because I would never be so inconsiderate to 139 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,800 Speaker 1: a close friend of mine. We're not going to each 140 00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:05,320 Speaker 1: other's weddings, but we'll support each other as a bride. 141 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:08,120 Speaker 1: I recommend it suppliers that she still needs, and she 142 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:10,560 Speaker 1: has done the same. After that talk, I took a 143 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,920 Speaker 1: step back from our friendship and went back to being 144 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:15,839 Speaker 1: an acquaintance. I never had a friend like that. I 145 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:19,320 Speaker 1: focused on my true friends. But somehow I still feel 146 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:22,880 Speaker 1: bad about it, and some relevant comments from Ope, it's 147 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:26,600 Speaker 1: really an unfortunate event. What's most sad about it is 148 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,440 Speaker 1: that it affected how I viewed the wedding planning face. 149 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:33,960 Speaker 1: My enthusiasm to it really skyrocketed down, and I feel 150 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:37,040 Speaker 1: really bad for my fiance. I always saw this couple 151 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:39,640 Speaker 1: since we're in a small group of friends working abroad, 152 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:43,240 Speaker 1: but we've slowly started to set some boundaries, like not 153 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:46,680 Speaker 1: inviting them to my birthday since I don't feel good 154 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:49,120 Speaker 1: whenever I see them. My fiance is very protective of 155 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:52,480 Speaker 1: me and very objective towards this issue. He already told 156 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,760 Speaker 1: me before not to get too close with this girl 157 00:06:54,839 --> 00:06:58,440 Speaker 1: because he feels like she's always prioritizing herself without considering 158 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:01,880 Speaker 1: the people around her. There have been other instances like 159 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:04,320 Speaker 1: this before, but I fought him on this. Our other 160 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:06,520 Speaker 1: friends don't know about this issue, and I feel like 161 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,760 Speaker 1: it will be awkward when we send the invites and 162 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:12,720 Speaker 1: they'll know that this couple isn't invited, and maybe they'll 163 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:17,320 Speaker 1: understand when they get the other girls invite why it 164 00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:18,200 Speaker 1: an't invite her. 165 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:21,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I feel like it's kind of 166 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:24,760 Speaker 2: it's not being petty, it's being just setting a boundary 167 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:27,800 Speaker 2: because she obviously like crossed the boundary there. So it's like, Okay, 168 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:30,160 Speaker 2: now I have to like rethink her friendship and kind of, 169 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:32,320 Speaker 2: you know, like take a step back from her. 170 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:33,680 Speaker 4: Like I completely understand that. 171 00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:37,680 Speaker 1: Absolutely. I don't want to retell this story anymore. Did 172 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:40,920 Speaker 1: Opie's friend know about her wedding date beforehand? Opie said 173 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,720 Speaker 1: they knew our date even before they got engaged. She 174 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:45,760 Speaker 1: told me she set that date so that our friends 175 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:49,040 Speaker 1: are in our home country in the same month. I 176 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:54,640 Speaker 1: kind of understand that logic However, she absolutely should have 177 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:55,160 Speaker 1: talked to you. 178 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:59,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like it still had to be a conversation. Yeah, 179 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:01,680 Speaker 2: especially with it being so close to each other, it 180 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:04,440 Speaker 2: still has to be a conversation. Yeah, because just doing 181 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:06,560 Speaker 2: it behind each other's backs ridiculous. 182 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:09,400 Speaker 3: How did nobody ask like, hey, is this okay? Or 183 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:10,840 Speaker 3: like this is cool? 184 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:11,360 Speaker 4: Yeah? 185 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:12,040 Speaker 2: It should have been. 186 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:13,880 Speaker 1: She goes to you and says, hey, I had this 187 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,600 Speaker 1: idea about, you know, making sure all of our friends 188 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:19,720 Speaker 1: can go to both of our weddings without too much 189 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:22,400 Speaker 1: cost to them. Wouldn't be okay if I did it 190 00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:23,840 Speaker 1: a week before yours. 191 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,200 Speaker 3: Which is sounds so stressful to be, like you're a bridesmaid, 192 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,520 Speaker 3: but then you're like, oh, I'm gonna do my wedding first, 193 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:30,080 Speaker 3: making ridiculous. 194 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:32,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, I told her, why does it have to be 195 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:34,480 Speaker 1: on the same week? She told me she had no 196 00:08:34,559 --> 00:08:35,280 Speaker 1: other choice? 197 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:36,960 Speaker 4: Liar, Yeah, what? 198 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:40,000 Speaker 1: And also why wouldn't it be after OPI's wedding? 199 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:42,080 Speaker 3: What do you mean by no other choice? There's three 200 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:43,880 Speaker 3: hundred and sixty five days in a year. 201 00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:48,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, and also there's you know, four weeks to choose 202 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:49,559 Speaker 1: from in that month. 203 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:53,000 Speaker 2: They could have been maybe planing it around like family 204 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:56,440 Speaker 2: like when they were open. Yeah, I could see that. 205 00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:59,319 Speaker 1: But again, still, why didn't we talk about this before 206 00:08:59,360 --> 00:08:59,920 Speaker 1: you decided? 207 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:04,280 Speaker 2: Yeah? Still there's not any other day they couldn't, you know. Yeah, 208 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:06,040 Speaker 2: she told me she had no the choice. 209 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:08,840 Speaker 1: I couldn't argue much about it because I really don't 210 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:11,920 Speaker 1: know if that's true. And a short update from Ope, 211 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:13,920 Speaker 1: they had a wee night with their friends to tell 212 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,200 Speaker 1: them they're side of the story. I didn't know what 213 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:19,160 Speaker 1: they actually told them, but I know the guy cried 214 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:21,200 Speaker 1: and they were hurt that we didn't invite them to 215 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:24,000 Speaker 1: our wedding. I've always been contemplating on whether or not 216 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:26,959 Speaker 1: I'll invite them because I feel guilty. But I imagine 217 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:29,240 Speaker 1: if I see my friend at my wedding, it'll trigger 218 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:32,000 Speaker 1: my stress since my mind would link it to the 219 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:34,760 Speaker 1: issue that we went through, the issue that ruined by 220 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:38,040 Speaker 1: enthusiasm on the wedding planning process. That's the main reason 221 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:40,840 Speaker 1: why I disinvited them. And we've got an update to 222 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:45,040 Speaker 1: ten months later. Oh boy, any thoughts They sat down 223 00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:47,880 Speaker 1: to have a conversation. Yeah, but they didn't even come 224 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,520 Speaker 1: to like an agreement or solution or anything like. There 225 00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:53,040 Speaker 1: was no resolution that was talked about and then they 226 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:54,640 Speaker 1: were like, well, we're just still going to keep this date. 227 00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:56,400 Speaker 1: They're like, okay, well we're still going to keep this date. 228 00:09:56,600 --> 00:10:00,199 Speaker 2: Okay, glad we talked. That's it. I guess yes. 229 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:04,480 Speaker 1: Let's see how their weddings went though. Ten months later, Hello, 230 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:07,800 Speaker 1: it's been a year, and just wanted to give everyone 231 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:12,520 Speaker 1: an update. First we got married. Ooooh they did it. 232 00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:15,080 Speaker 1: A lot has happened over a year. To summarize it 233 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:17,560 Speaker 1: from the start, let's start with what happened after the 234 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:19,880 Speaker 1: one on one talk with the other bride. Things got 235 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:22,400 Speaker 1: heated and awkward, but my partner and I tried our 236 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:25,240 Speaker 1: best to reconcile the past issue with the other couple 237 00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:27,520 Speaker 1: for the sake of the group. We kept initiating sit 238 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:31,199 Speaker 1: down talks to eliminate awkwardness and misunderstandings as much as 239 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:34,880 Speaker 1: we could. But the problem now is this engaged couple 240 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:38,959 Speaker 1: keeps inviting our other friends without us. In short, we 241 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:40,720 Speaker 1: were being left out of our own group. 242 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:42,760 Speaker 3: It's the good old eye for an eye. 243 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, like, fine, we're not invited to your wedding. We're 244 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:48,640 Speaker 1: just gonna keep throwing parties behind your back. It's just 245 00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:52,439 Speaker 1: getting messy y yeah, we're too busy with wedding errands, 246 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:54,280 Speaker 1: so we haven't even had the time to go out 247 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,400 Speaker 1: with friends, so we're just keeping it that way. Before 248 00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:58,480 Speaker 1: the wedding, we tried our best to sort things out 249 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:01,280 Speaker 1: before flying to our home. Cun we're invited to each 250 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:03,880 Speaker 1: other's weddings, my husband and I decline since we'll be 251 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,400 Speaker 1: busy by then. They RSVP to ours, but had to 252 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,640 Speaker 1: cancel last minute due to a family trip. But a 253 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:11,880 Speaker 1: week before a wedding, I cut ties with the other groom. 254 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:15,560 Speaker 1: There has been a circulating story within our batch mates 255 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:21,680 Speaker 1: like blo oh, yes, maybe that I was frantic and 256 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:24,800 Speaker 1: mad at them because they're coming us. I heard the 257 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:26,720 Speaker 1: story from a friend of mine that came from a 258 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:29,360 Speaker 1: friend of the other groom, which he denied that it 259 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:30,240 Speaker 1: was coming from him. 260 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:32,240 Speaker 2: I mean, it's definitely coming from him. 261 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:35,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, his group of friends has been talking crap about me, 262 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:38,000 Speaker 1: to the point that after accidentally seeing his friend in 263 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:41,000 Speaker 1: the neighborhood, this friend posted a story telling that I 264 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:43,400 Speaker 1: have no right to speak since I'm overweight. 265 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:48,560 Speaker 2: WHOA, okay, now it will suck. Yeah, now it's just 266 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:49,480 Speaker 2: blatant attacks. 267 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,319 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, okay, now, we're playing the mud now. 268 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:56,679 Speaker 1: Okay he posted it indirectly, but just right after that encounter. 269 00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:58,760 Speaker 4: Nah, I'd be bringing my pitchforks. 270 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd be like, Okay, we're bringing this out in 271 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,480 Speaker 1: the open. We're gonna have a tussle with that. I 272 00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:08,680 Speaker 1: finally literally cut them off up until now because everything's toxic, 273 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:11,080 Speaker 1: and we made peace with that. But my problem now 274 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:14,480 Speaker 1: is our common couple friends here abroad are stuck in 275 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:16,959 Speaker 1: the middle. I've been friends with these two since high school, 276 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,920 Speaker 1: and I introduced this other couple to them when they 277 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,160 Speaker 1: moved here. It doesn't feel great that they will go 278 00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:24,160 Speaker 1: out on these days and the days after it is 279 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:26,160 Speaker 1: our schedule to meet with our friends. 280 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:27,200 Speaker 2: What should we do? 281 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,559 Speaker 1: And we've got some additional information from op I think 282 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:32,480 Speaker 1: some people misunderstood. 283 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:33,040 Speaker 2: What my issue is. 284 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:35,600 Speaker 1: I'm not upset that my friends are still friends with 285 00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:38,640 Speaker 1: the other couple, and I'm not asking anyone to choose sides. 286 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:41,080 Speaker 1: The difficult part is that we live abroad, so this 287 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:44,319 Speaker 1: small group is basically our only social circle. I was 288 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:47,160 Speaker 1: also the one who originally introduced everyone, which makes it 289 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,520 Speaker 1: emotionally hard to suddenly feel excluded from the same group 290 00:12:50,679 --> 00:12:53,320 Speaker 1: I brought together. What's been happening lately is that our 291 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:57,120 Speaker 1: high school friends usually accept hangouts with the other couple first, 292 00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,840 Speaker 1: so when we ask if they're free, they often already 293 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:02,920 Speaker 1: have plans with them. Special occasions and holidays also tend 294 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:04,680 Speaker 1: to be spent with them. I don't want it to 295 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:07,719 Speaker 1: turn into a competition of who invites first, because that 296 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:08,840 Speaker 1: feels unhealthy. 297 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:12,520 Speaker 3: But that feels like also how it started. Yeah, like 298 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:14,520 Speaker 3: or like who's having the wedding first? 299 00:13:14,679 --> 00:13:18,760 Speaker 1: And yeah, yes, maybe unhealthy, but like that is also 300 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:22,680 Speaker 1: just how inviting people to things works. It's just whoever 301 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:25,120 Speaker 1: gets there first. So maybe you just got to start 302 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:26,160 Speaker 1: inviting people early. 303 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:29,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just annoying that now it's like a competition 304 00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:32,120 Speaker 2: between the two and it's like we all were fine 305 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:36,120 Speaker 2: until you chose to do this, and now it's ruining everything. 306 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:39,880 Speaker 1: So my question isn't about controlling their friendships. I understand 307 00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:42,040 Speaker 1: they want to stay neutral. I'm just trying to figure 308 00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:45,200 Speaker 1: out how to navigate the situation emotionally and socially. When 309 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,920 Speaker 1: you live abroad and have a very small circle and 310 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,319 Speaker 1: it starts to feel like you're slowly being pushed out 311 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:53,880 Speaker 1: of the group, and we've got some comments, Let's read them. 312 00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:56,440 Speaker 1: Comment one says, look, you had enough comments from your 313 00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:58,560 Speaker 1: first post telling you that you were making this a 314 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:01,199 Speaker 1: bigger deal than it needed to be. That should have 315 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:02,920 Speaker 1: been enough of a warning to let it all go 316 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:05,079 Speaker 1: and just plan the best you can for your own 317 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:08,560 Speaker 1: things and not let the upset over it interfere in 318 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:09,239 Speaker 1: the friendships. 319 00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:10,160 Speaker 2: Yes, it sucks. 320 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:12,000 Speaker 1: It was a week before yours, and a really good 321 00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:14,120 Speaker 1: friend would make sure it's okay first or have a 322 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,640 Speaker 1: deeper discussion. But they did it and weren't back and 323 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:18,640 Speaker 1: down by making it a bigger deal, though you made 324 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,400 Speaker 1: it awkward for the other friends. If you knew this 325 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:23,840 Speaker 1: was your only friend group locally, then you should have 326 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:26,040 Speaker 1: simply let it go completely and ignored it. When you 327 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:27,920 Speaker 1: put people in a position where they feel they have 328 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:31,520 Speaker 1: to choose, they often just don't. Those other friends probably 329 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:33,480 Speaker 1: thought this wasn't a big deal and aren't going to 330 00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:36,160 Speaker 1: cut the others off because of how you view it, 331 00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:39,040 Speaker 1: especially if they didn't agree with you. I'd also do 332 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:41,640 Speaker 1: some self reflecting and try and learn from this for 333 00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:45,200 Speaker 1: future friendships. You say they claim you were mad about copying, 334 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:48,160 Speaker 1: as though you actually weren't and it was lies and gossip. 335 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:50,600 Speaker 1: But in the original post you were upset already at 336 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,600 Speaker 1: them choosing some of the same things as you, So 337 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:54,920 Speaker 1: are you sure you weren't mad about that and letting 338 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,680 Speaker 1: it show, even if not meaning to you weren't talking 339 00:14:57,720 --> 00:14:58,120 Speaker 1: about this. 340 00:14:58,200 --> 00:14:59,480 Speaker 2: At all in any way. 341 00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:02,120 Speaker 1: With friends, the best you can do is work on 342 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:05,360 Speaker 1: trying to make new friends and moving forward. You can 343 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:07,920 Speaker 1: try and plan ahead, but you're right, it shouldn't be 344 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:10,400 Speaker 1: a game of who invites first, and that may not 345 00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:13,040 Speaker 1: even work, since they may enjoy their time with them 346 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:16,360 Speaker 1: and spending those specific holidays together again, work on creating 347 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:19,560 Speaker 1: more connections locally, or being okay with them, or being 348 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:22,560 Speaker 1: okay without them, or planning around them. Don't put those 349 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:25,400 Speaker 1: friends in the middle. Plan ahead knowing they may want 350 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,240 Speaker 1: to be with the other group, and so just plan 351 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:29,480 Speaker 1: around their time with the others. Oh P says, thank 352 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:32,120 Speaker 1: you for putting me in my place. The reason why 353 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,200 Speaker 1: we cut them off this time is because it's becoming 354 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:34,960 Speaker 1: too toxic. 355 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:35,560 Speaker 2: A lot of. 356 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:38,640 Speaker 1: People from our home country were already dragged into this mess, 357 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,560 Speaker 1: which we didn't expect to happen. As me and my 358 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,600 Speaker 1: husband tried our best to mend things so that it 359 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:45,640 Speaker 1: wouldn't be awkward, but we're really surprised at how massive 360 00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:47,760 Speaker 1: it was in our home country. Believe it or not, 361 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:50,240 Speaker 1: we're not mentioning it to our friends in our home country, 362 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,360 Speaker 1: as we want to focus on our wedding. But during 363 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,480 Speaker 1: their wedding, some other guests kept asking my other close friend, 364 00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:57,760 Speaker 1: who happened to be invited as well at their wedding, 365 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,680 Speaker 1: thinking that my close friend knows something about it. This 366 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:03,280 Speaker 1: close friend went to my bachelorette and the first thing 367 00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:05,920 Speaker 1: she asked me is what's happening? Why are they bombarding 368 00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:07,280 Speaker 1: me with questions on their wedding. 369 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,720 Speaker 2: You should have told me. Of course, I wouldn't go 370 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:12,200 Speaker 2: out of my way telling everybody about it. I don't know. 371 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:17,080 Speaker 1: It does seem like that comment or before was being 372 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:20,240 Speaker 1: a little harsh. In Ope, it feels like Opie's just 373 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:23,800 Speaker 1: kind of spirally. Yeah, I couldn't make her wedding, and 374 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:26,120 Speaker 1: then she was weird about it, so I didn't want 375 00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:26,760 Speaker 1: to invite her. 376 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:27,360 Speaker 2: To my wedding. 377 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:29,720 Speaker 1: I'm just happy that the people who went to our 378 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:33,360 Speaker 1: wedding never mentioned anything about it, even if they were 379 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,160 Speaker 1: hearing things, as they all know. I'm so effing over it. 380 00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:38,280 Speaker 1: But all of their friends weren't over it because of 381 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:40,840 Speaker 1: the false stories they've been hearing from the couple. That's 382 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:42,840 Speaker 1: the main reason we cut them off. It's not really 383 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:45,320 Speaker 1: about the date and the wedding already. The issue was 384 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:48,480 Speaker 1: just dragged so out of proportion. Comment who says, Ope? 385 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:50,640 Speaker 1: I read your previous two entries and I have to 386 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:53,360 Speaker 1: ask what culture did you get married? I'm racking my 387 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:56,520 Speaker 1: brain for what tradition requires the room to take six 388 00:16:56,680 --> 00:17:00,760 Speaker 1: or more full uninterrupted days to prepare for wedding and 389 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:03,280 Speaker 1: his groomsmen to take two to three days to prepare. 390 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,840 Speaker 1: I've been a groomsman in a few different ceremonies, and 391 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:08,760 Speaker 1: outside of the bachelor party a month before, my only 392 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:11,639 Speaker 1: real obligations were to do the rehearsal the night before, 393 00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:13,880 Speaker 1: get dressed with the groom the next day, and then 394 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:16,760 Speaker 1: do the ceremony. But onto the matter at hand, Ope, 395 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,360 Speaker 1: you need to grow up. You sound like a teenager 396 00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:22,080 Speaker 1: whining about prom From what I read, the other couple 397 00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:24,639 Speaker 1: invited you to all the things and even asked you 398 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:27,040 Speaker 1: to both be in their wedding parties. You say in 399 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:29,359 Speaker 1: this post that you were too busy with wedding errands 400 00:17:29,359 --> 00:17:32,480 Speaker 1: to see friends, you say your groom needs six days 401 00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:35,040 Speaker 1: to prepare and you need the weekend before your wedding 402 00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:37,679 Speaker 1: for wedding errands. Yeah, Shanny Opie says they probably just 403 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:41,600 Speaker 1: skimmed the story. It feels like those commenters are dragging 404 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:46,280 Speaker 1: Ope for being upset that someone completely ignored how she 405 00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:48,400 Speaker 1: might feel if they put their wedding a. 406 00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:49,200 Speaker 2: Week before hers. 407 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:53,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's ridiculous. I would be super upset if one 408 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:56,080 Speaker 1: of my best friends who is gonna be my bride'smaid, said, Hey, 409 00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:58,920 Speaker 1: just so you know, we're doing our wedding right before yours. 410 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,119 Speaker 1: Is that okay or not even is that okay? 411 00:18:01,359 --> 00:18:02,240 Speaker 2: But will you come? 412 00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:05,280 Speaker 1: And then not caring whether or not op dotes. 413 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:09,919 Speaker 2: Yeah. From reading the comments, I can be easily persuaded. Yeah, 414 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:12,720 Speaker 2: and I could see how Ope is making it like 415 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:14,600 Speaker 2: a bigger deal than like it needs to be, but 416 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:17,520 Speaker 2: also looking at it from an outsider's point of view, 417 00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:20,280 Speaker 2: like without all of the like stuff in the middle 418 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,880 Speaker 2: and emotions all that, it is like they did try 419 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:24,679 Speaker 2: to make it work of being like, you know, you 420 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:27,320 Speaker 2: two can both be in our wedding and you can 421 00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:30,000 Speaker 2: like do other stuff, but also that means like more 422 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:33,040 Speaker 2: on them it's more so, I feel like that's not 423 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:35,560 Speaker 2: even trying to make it work. It's just like getting 424 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:36,680 Speaker 2: more inconvenient food. 425 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:40,800 Speaker 1: Exactly, discrediting. Yeah, what they're you know, gonna be busy 426 00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:41,960 Speaker 1: with even more. 427 00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:44,240 Speaker 2: That's true. And good Morning Putty. 428 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,719 Speaker 1: Potato says they're also planning this wedding from a different country. 429 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,000 Speaker 1: There's probably gonna be a lot of people flying in 430 00:18:49,119 --> 00:18:51,000 Speaker 1: and it takes at least a week when you're in. 431 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:51,960 Speaker 2: A different country. 432 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:53,280 Speaker 4: That is also true. 433 00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:55,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, And a lot of people just can't take off 434 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:57,920 Speaker 2: that amount of time. Yeah. 435 00:18:57,920 --> 00:18:59,560 Speaker 1: So if they were yeah, if they were coming for 436 00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:02,120 Speaker 1: ope wedding weekend, who's to say they could. 437 00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:02,480 Speaker 2: Go to both. 438 00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:05,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, but we've got a little bit left to be frank, 439 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:08,240 Speaker 1: I think you put way too much importance on a party. 440 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:11,560 Speaker 2: It's not a party, it's her wedding. Yeah what, it's 441 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:13,199 Speaker 2: not a party. It's not a party. 442 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,560 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. You do sound frantic and like 443 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:17,600 Speaker 1: you're a lot to handle. It sounds like your friend 444 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,920 Speaker 1: group is kind of over your dramatics. My best friend 445 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,119 Speaker 1: is married to a literal wedding planner, and the fact 446 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:25,000 Speaker 1: you can't see friends because of wedding planning is outrageous. 447 00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:27,320 Speaker 1: Was the week before thing a little rude? 448 00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:29,199 Speaker 2: Sure, a little rude? 449 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:31,560 Speaker 1: This person? Is this the friend that planned the wedding 450 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:33,639 Speaker 1: six days before? But it's also a wedding in a 451 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,560 Speaker 1: foreign country and a lot of factors beyond anyone's. 452 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,639 Speaker 2: Control go into picking a date. It's not true. 453 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,440 Speaker 1: You could have made this a fun twin bride's vibe 454 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,440 Speaker 1: and made a giant week long party out of it. 455 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:47,560 Speaker 2: If her friend had asked her. No one wants to 456 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,480 Speaker 2: share their wedding. Also that, Yeah, I'm gonna put that 457 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:52,760 Speaker 2: out there. No one wants that. I don't care how 458 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:55,320 Speaker 2: close you are. No one wants to share their day 459 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,879 Speaker 2: with someone else. These comments are weird. 460 00:19:57,640 --> 00:19:59,880 Speaker 1: Opie says, Actually, I get what you mean, but based 461 00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:02,960 Speaker 1: on experience, Yeah, we're really dang busy the week before 462 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:06,080 Speaker 1: our wedding as we're cram and legal requirements before the wedding. 463 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:10,520 Speaker 1: We don't have a coordinator since it's expensive, so we diid. 464 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:10,800 Speaker 2: Most of the things. 465 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:13,760 Speaker 1: Everything went well, but we almost had no sleep due 466 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:17,000 Speaker 1: to preparations, so we scheduled everything before. We told them 467 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:20,040 Speaker 1: that we cannot come anyway. We're actually okay with it already. 468 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:23,440 Speaker 1: I stepped back from the friendship since they're spreading rumors 469 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,720 Speaker 1: and talking to my friends negatively about the issue, even 470 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:29,800 Speaker 1: after making peace about it, and even after the wedding, Like, 471 00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:32,479 Speaker 1: what's the point. I'm more focused on why I'm feeling 472 00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:35,320 Speaker 1: like I'm too dependent on our other friends. And that's 473 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:36,600 Speaker 1: the end of that story. 474 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:41,200 Speaker 2: My best friends sent everyone an RSVP except me. Mine 475 00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:44,560 Speaker 2: arrived five days before the deadline. Maybe she just forgot 476 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:47,360 Speaker 2: I had a friend I'd known since grade school. We'd 477 00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:49,640 Speaker 2: been close for over twenty years. We called each other 478 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:52,320 Speaker 2: best friends, but as we grew older, life got busy 479 00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:54,640 Speaker 2: and we each focused on our careers. By the way, 480 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:57,399 Speaker 2: this comes from no Comment sixty seven ninety seven, and 481 00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:58,920 Speaker 2: if you want to submit your own stories, go to 482 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:02,320 Speaker 2: the our slash Showcase story Time subreddit. I'm Savannah, I'm Sophia, 483 00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:05,000 Speaker 2: I'm Keon. We had to give some good advice, goofy, 484 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:06,840 Speaker 2: but we don't have all the answers. We can't only 485 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:08,479 Speaker 2: tell you what we would do in all little heads, 486 00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:10,560 Speaker 2: but let us know what you do in your big 487 00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:13,760 Speaker 2: brains down in the comments. As Opie says, back then, 488 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:15,920 Speaker 2: we used to hang out every day since we only 489 00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:18,840 Speaker 2: lived five minutes apart. Our homes became each other's second home. 490 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:21,919 Speaker 2: Even our families were close. We were the typical girl 491 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,600 Speaker 2: best friends who did everything together. We were there for 492 00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:28,520 Speaker 2: each other through heartbreaks and happy moments, from first relationships 493 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:32,520 Speaker 2: to life milestones. We knew everything about one another. Then 494 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:35,720 Speaker 2: last year I heard from her grandmother that she was 495 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:38,159 Speaker 2: getting married this year. I was excited for her, so 496 00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:40,480 Speaker 2: during our next hangout, I asked her about it, but 497 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:43,440 Speaker 2: she outright denied it, saying, I'm not getting married yet. 498 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:46,200 Speaker 2: Why are people spreading rumors? The thing is, I knew 499 00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:48,720 Speaker 2: she had always wanted to marry her boyfriend. She had 500 00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:50,679 Speaker 2: told me during their first year together that she was 501 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:53,199 Speaker 2: eager to settle down, but he wanted to wait a 502 00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:55,280 Speaker 2: bit longer so they could save up for their future. 503 00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:57,520 Speaker 2: I didn't bring it up again after that, even though 504 00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:00,560 Speaker 2: her parents had also mentioned the upcoming wedding. Okay, so 505 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:04,520 Speaker 2: it's this wedding's happening unless she doesn't know that he 506 00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:09,240 Speaker 2: hasn't proposed yet, or she's just lying. Yeah. I figured 507 00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:11,800 Speaker 2: maybe she just didn't want to announce anything until there 508 00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:15,000 Speaker 2: was a formal engagement. Then last month, she posted her 509 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:18,880 Speaker 2: prenuptial shoot everyone on Instagram was congratulating her. I felt 510 00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:21,280 Speaker 2: a bit hurt that she had denied it before, but 511 00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:23,120 Speaker 2: I let it go because I didn't want to soult 512 00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,080 Speaker 2: during what should be a joyful time in her life. 513 00:22:25,119 --> 00:22:28,120 Speaker 2: I have to comment and even messages her to say congratulations, 514 00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:30,360 Speaker 2: but I didn't get a reply. Still, whenever we see 515 00:22:30,359 --> 00:22:32,760 Speaker 2: each other, she's always the first one to approach me. 516 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,720 Speaker 2: That made me think there wasn't any bad blood between us. 517 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:37,960 Speaker 2: When we hang out with our mutual friends, she usually 518 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:40,080 Speaker 2: stays close to me and catches me up on everything 519 00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:42,040 Speaker 2: going on in her life. She's more of the talker 520 00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:44,840 Speaker 2: between us, while I've always been the listener. Then came 521 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:49,040 Speaker 2: the digital RSVP. Our common friends received THEIRS, but I didn't. 522 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:51,720 Speaker 2: I felt hurt, and honestly, I was angry. I waited 523 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:54,080 Speaker 2: a few more days, hoping to receive the RSVP, but 524 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,600 Speaker 2: nothing came. I didn't want to be confrontational, so I 525 00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:58,480 Speaker 2: asked one of our close friends about it. That friend 526 00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:00,800 Speaker 2: told me maybe I should wait a bit longer. Then 527 00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,240 Speaker 2: maybe she just forgot to send mine. Hearing that hurt 528 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:03,800 Speaker 2: even more. 529 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:06,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's still dub It's like, Oh, so she either 530 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:09,879 Speaker 1: definitely didn't want me there or forgot about me. 531 00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:14,480 Speaker 2: She just forgot. Yeah, guys, you're just such a forgettable person. 532 00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:18,560 Speaker 2: I always imagine that when either of us got married, 533 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:20,680 Speaker 2: we be the first of No. We used to talk 534 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:23,199 Speaker 2: about it, and I genuinely believed we'd be each other's 535 00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:27,320 Speaker 2: top priority. Eventually, the RSVP came, but only after that 536 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:30,280 Speaker 2: close friend of ours asked her why I hadn't received one. 537 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:32,399 Speaker 2: She said it to me just five days before the 538 00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:35,679 Speaker 2: RSVP inline. Right after sending it, she messaged me with 539 00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:38,360 Speaker 2: please respond now. I don't know. I feel like she's 540 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:40,960 Speaker 2: being like weird, Like it's like a chore. Yeah, her 541 00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:42,639 Speaker 2: to like invite you there, like are you friends or what? 542 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:45,080 Speaker 2: Like hurry up and respond, It's like, gird, just got it? 543 00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:48,680 Speaker 2: Yeah you have please respond right now. Let me check 544 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:51,640 Speaker 2: my freaking calendar. Yeah I don't know. Did you even 545 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:54,080 Speaker 2: want me there? Yeah? That made me feel like I 546 00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:56,920 Speaker 2: was only invited because someone pointed out I hadn't been included. 547 00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,160 Speaker 2: I didn't respond right away. I needed time to think. 548 00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:02,320 Speaker 2: The whole situation deeply hurt me and triggered my abandonment issues. 549 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:05,359 Speaker 2: Started questioning everything again. How could someone I've been so 550 00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:08,840 Speaker 2: close with suddenly exclude me from such a major life event. 551 00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:11,600 Speaker 2: I tried to figure out what went wrong in our friendship, 552 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:13,840 Speaker 2: but I couldn't come up with anything. We were always okay, 553 00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:16,720 Speaker 2: even when life got busy. She would still update me 554 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,560 Speaker 2: whenever we had the chance to hang out. After about 555 00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:21,919 Speaker 2: a week, I made the decision not to attend. I 556 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,080 Speaker 2: couldn't bear the thought of being there, knowing I was 557 00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:26,680 Speaker 2: only invited as an afterthought. I send her a message 558 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:28,560 Speaker 2: thank you for the invite. I'm really happy for you, 559 00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:30,200 Speaker 2: but I'll be out of town on your wedding day, 560 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:32,560 Speaker 2: so I won't be able to attend, wishing you all 561 00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:35,359 Speaker 2: the best. She never replied, I just don't really like 562 00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:38,639 Speaker 2: this girl. It seems like it was a pity invite. 563 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,400 Speaker 1: And yeah, like you had talked to one of your 564 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,880 Speaker 1: mutual friends and then maybe the mutual friend was like, hey, 565 00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:47,600 Speaker 1: so he's supposed to be coming, and then she's like, oh, yeah, 566 00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,320 Speaker 1: I guess i'll invite OP then invites her and it's 567 00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:53,480 Speaker 1: like t hurry up, come right now, right now, come on. 568 00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:56,720 Speaker 3: I feel like, yeah, someone brought it up and like, hey, 569 00:24:57,280 --> 00:25:00,640 Speaker 3: you forgot about OP, Like do I have to? No? 570 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:01,960 Speaker 2: I don't want to bring us. 571 00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:05,760 Speaker 1: I would talk to her, if you're really gonna be 572 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:08,120 Speaker 1: kind of thinking about this for a while, just hop 573 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:10,080 Speaker 1: the conversation and say, hey, I was a little hurt 574 00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:14,240 Speaker 1: that you seemingly invited me as a second thought. 575 00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:17,719 Speaker 2: You know, if it's really like gonna make you overthink 576 00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:20,240 Speaker 2: and bring up your trauma, then yeah, I feel like 577 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:22,040 Speaker 2: it would be in your best interest to be like, 578 00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:24,040 Speaker 2: let me get a better understanding. 579 00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:24,879 Speaker 4: About this, because why not. 580 00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:27,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, I took that silence as her cutting me off. 581 00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:30,520 Speaker 2: That's when I decided to fully let go and burn 582 00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:33,040 Speaker 2: the bridge. I kept torturing myself trying to figure out 583 00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:35,960 Speaker 2: what went wrong, but I guess I'll never know. Then, 584 00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:38,679 Speaker 2: just yesterday, we were both at a friend's birthday party. 585 00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:40,880 Speaker 2: She arrived late and actually came up to me first 586 00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:43,840 Speaker 2: before greeting the celebrant. I used the moment, since things 587 00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:46,080 Speaker 2: were winding down, to quietly leave. I didn't want to 588 00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:48,159 Speaker 2: make a scene or pretend everything was fine. I just 589 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:49,800 Speaker 2: want to be at peace with the fact that we're 590 00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:51,959 Speaker 2: not friends anymore. I don't want to dwell on her 591 00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:54,320 Speaker 2: reasons to try to understand them, and I definitely don't 592 00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:56,280 Speaker 2: want to be petty about it. Even though I could 593 00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:59,000 Speaker 2: stir up some drama if I wanted to, hah, but 594 00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:01,879 Speaker 2: I don't do that. Yeah, there's an edit to add. 595 00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:05,280 Speaker 2: Sorry for my poor construction of sentence. It's not that 596 00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:08,159 Speaker 2: she's always the one who approaches me first, But what 597 00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:10,159 Speaker 2: I mean is when we're together, she's usually the one 598 00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:13,040 Speaker 2: who initiates most of the conversations and shares more stories. 599 00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:17,080 Speaker 2: She's naturally talkative, and I genuinely enjoy listening and responding 600 00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:19,520 Speaker 2: to her. Of course, when I see her first, I'm 601 00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:21,760 Speaker 2: the one who approaches her. I go up to her 602 00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:24,399 Speaker 2: and give her a hug. Then she usually starts talking 603 00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,400 Speaker 2: right away, catch me up on things, and I share 604 00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:29,000 Speaker 2: my stories too. But overall, she just talks more because 605 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,440 Speaker 2: that's her personality. I really don't mind at all. Edit 606 00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:35,560 Speaker 2: it again to add this, as per a co editor suggested, 607 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:37,800 Speaker 2: Thank you so much for understanding where I'm coming from. 608 00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:40,600 Speaker 2: It's actually a bit funny how some people think my 609 00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,800 Speaker 2: friend might be tired of always initiating conversations. English isn't 610 00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:46,159 Speaker 2: my first language, so it's hard for me to explain clearly, 611 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:48,440 Speaker 2: but that's just how our friendship works. 612 00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:51,159 Speaker 1: Just talk to her, just so I can know you 613 00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:53,240 Speaker 1: don't even have to continue the friendship after that. I 614 00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:56,359 Speaker 1: just gotta know find out for me, please, why she 615 00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,439 Speaker 1: seems to not want to be friends with you anymore. 616 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,480 Speaker 1: I mean, and OPI you may just be taking it 617 00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:07,239 Speaker 1: that way, like maybe true, like you know, nothing has 618 00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:09,760 Speaker 1: happened and you're just taking it that way, or you know. 619 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:12,040 Speaker 2: I don't know. It just seems like there are pieces 620 00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:13,879 Speaker 2: missing to this puzzle, and I really want you to 621 00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:15,840 Speaker 2: figure it out so that you feel more at peace 622 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:17,800 Speaker 2: with it, because as much as you're like, I want 623 00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:19,640 Speaker 2: to be done, I want to be done, this still 624 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:23,080 Speaker 2: continues to haunt you. It lingers. Yeah, we've been friends 625 00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:25,840 Speaker 2: since we were six, and like any long friendship, we've 626 00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:28,440 Speaker 2: had our small arguments too. I know her well. If 627 00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:30,960 Speaker 2: she were upset with me or didn't like something I did, 628 00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:34,120 Speaker 2: she would completely ignore me. But that's not what's happening. 629 00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:36,280 Speaker 2: She's still friendly, and that's why I find the whole 630 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:39,520 Speaker 2: situation confusing. The only possible reason I can think of 631 00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:41,959 Speaker 2: for her not wanting me at her wedding is that 632 00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,720 Speaker 2: I'm the only one who knows she was unfaithful to 633 00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:50,960 Speaker 2: her fiance. Ooh, well, you see this changes things now. Girl. 634 00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:52,600 Speaker 2: Why do you even want to be friends with this girl? 635 00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:54,640 Speaker 3: Is Opie the only one who knows? 636 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:57,960 Speaker 2: The only one? She said? Yeah, she said. The only 637 00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:00,200 Speaker 2: possible reason I can think of her for not wanting 638 00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:02,040 Speaker 2: me on her wedding is that I'm the only one 639 00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:04,040 Speaker 2: who knows she was unfaithful to her fiance. 640 00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:09,720 Speaker 1: Obviously, I don't know why, but maybe it's because I 641 00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:11,760 Speaker 1: could destroy her whole wedding. 642 00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:14,080 Speaker 2: Dude, one, why. 643 00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:15,440 Speaker 1: Would you even want to be friends with someone who 644 00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:17,679 Speaker 1: cheated on the fiance? Like, and also, why haven't you 645 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:18,480 Speaker 1: told the fiance. 646 00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:20,520 Speaker 2: Let's get around to that. 647 00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:23,359 Speaker 1: I mean, if Op's close friends with you know the girl, 648 00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:25,080 Speaker 1: presumably you know the fiance. 649 00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:28,720 Speaker 2: Why doesn't he know that he was cheated on? Yeah, 650 00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:32,639 Speaker 2: the fact that that wasn't the first thought, and it 651 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:34,600 Speaker 2: was just like, maybe she just doesn't want me there. 652 00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:39,920 Speaker 2: Maybe it's what she did and what you know, what 653 00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:44,320 Speaker 2: she told you. Yikes, that's crazy. Okay, Now this is 654 00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:47,480 Speaker 2: a whole different perspective now, and we both know what 655 00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:50,560 Speaker 2: we know. I called her out on it multiple occasions 656 00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:54,000 Speaker 2: until she eventually stopped. That's the only thing that makes 657 00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:57,360 Speaker 2: any sense to me. That's the end of that story. Hey, 658 00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:00,160 Speaker 2: it's Dakota, your favorite good time boys. 659 00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:00,520 Speaker 4: Here. 660 00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:02,880 Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's three 661 00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:06,040 Speaker 1: minutes of ads from our sponsors. My wife made a 662 00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:08,520 Speaker 1: disgusting comment about her brother's girlfriend. 663 00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:11,719 Speaker 2: Now he won't speak to her. I'm not talking to you. 664 00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:15,560 Speaker 1: So this goes all the way back to last Christmas 665 00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:18,640 Speaker 1: when my twenty nine male wife twenty nine female and 666 00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:20,960 Speaker 1: I first met my brother in law's twenty eight male 667 00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:25,000 Speaker 1: girlfriend twenty three female. My wife has five siblings, and 668 00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:27,400 Speaker 1: out of all of them, she's always been the closest 669 00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:29,880 Speaker 1: to Paul, meaning he would come over to our house 670 00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:32,160 Speaker 1: at least twice a week. He has a spare spt 671 00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:34,320 Speaker 1: of keys to our place in case of an emergency, 672 00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:37,720 Speaker 1: and we even had an emergency key to his apartment. 673 00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:40,760 Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from expert Sample sixty five 674 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:43,400 Speaker 1: sixty three, And if you want to spit your own stories, 675 00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:46,560 Speaker 1: go to the r slash. Okay, storytime suppared it. I'm Sophia, 676 00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:48,680 Speaker 1: I'm Savannah, I'm ke On, and. 677 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:49,760 Speaker 2: We're here to give good advice. 678 00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:51,640 Speaker 1: Goofy, But we don't have all the answers be aling 679 00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:53,360 Speaker 1: know what we'd do, So let us know what you 680 00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:56,240 Speaker 1: would do in the comments, and Opie says everything was 681 00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:59,800 Speaker 1: fine until last October when we noticed that Paul stopped 682 00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:03,120 Speaker 1: co over. My wife said he hardly even replied to 683 00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:06,040 Speaker 1: her texts, which was concerning since Paul has a history 684 00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:10,120 Speaker 1: of depression and sometimes withdraws from everyone when he hits 685 00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:12,800 Speaker 1: a dark place. One night, after my wife got his 686 00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:16,280 Speaker 1: voicemail four times and my in laws confirmed they hadn't 687 00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:19,360 Speaker 1: heard him either, we drove to his apartment out of 688 00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:23,320 Speaker 1: concern and used the emergency key. Usually when Paul gets 689 00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:26,920 Speaker 1: like this, his apartment looks a mess, but to our surprise, 690 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,520 Speaker 1: his place was spotless and smelled like a bath and 691 00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:33,400 Speaker 1: bodywork store. When my wife realized he wasn't home, she 692 00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:36,960 Speaker 1: took the opportunity to snoop, and that's when she found 693 00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:42,840 Speaker 1: silk sheets, high end women's clothing, skincare, new appliances, and 694 00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:44,400 Speaker 1: meal preps in the fridge. 695 00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:47,640 Speaker 2: It was clear that Paul had a girlfriend. As soon 696 00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:49,720 Speaker 2: as we got home, my wife sent him a message 697 00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:52,280 Speaker 2: telling him we had stopped by and asking why he 698 00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:56,080 Speaker 2: hadn't told us he was seeing someone. Eventually, Paul called back, 699 00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:59,720 Speaker 2: apologized for being so distant, and explained that he had 700 00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:02,560 Speaker 2: been aiding a girl named Sadie for a while. The 701 00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:05,080 Speaker 2: reason he hadn't told us was because my wife is 702 00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:09,440 Speaker 2: often too pushy, clearly, and she's snoopin' and he didn't 703 00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:11,400 Speaker 2: want her to be upset that he was dating someone 704 00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:14,440 Speaker 2: she hadn't set him up with, since my wife had 705 00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:16,640 Speaker 2: tried to set him up with her friends several times 706 00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:18,680 Speaker 2: in the past. He also told us not to worry 707 00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:20,440 Speaker 2: if he didn't stop by as much, and that he 708 00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:23,600 Speaker 2: would introduce us to Sadie when he felt ready. After that, 709 00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:24,720 Speaker 2: we hardly. 710 00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:27,239 Speaker 1: Heard from him until December, when he told us he 711 00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:30,960 Speaker 1: was bringing Sadie to meet the family the day after Christmas. Honestly, 712 00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:33,480 Speaker 1: I was happy for him. Yes, I missed hanging out, 713 00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:35,840 Speaker 1: but I was glad the guy was living his own life. 714 00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:40,040 Speaker 1: My wife, however, was furious, saying that Sadie was probably 715 00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:43,239 Speaker 1: the one making Paul distance himself from the family, and 716 00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:45,920 Speaker 1: that she had made him buy all those expensive items 717 00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:48,360 Speaker 1: we had seen at his place. When the day after 718 00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:51,400 Speaker 1: Christmas came, everyone gathered at my in laws house to 719 00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:55,000 Speaker 1: meet Sadie, and everyone, including myself, was a bit surprised 720 00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:59,000 Speaker 1: since Sadie was nowhere near his usual type as my 721 00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:01,840 Speaker 1: sister in law said, she gave off black cat energy. 722 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:05,160 Speaker 1: I honestly thought Sadie was pretty nice. She was friendly 723 00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:07,800 Speaker 1: to everyone, helped in the kitchen, cracked a few jokes, 724 00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:11,240 Speaker 1: and Paul seemed genuinely happy. He was telling everyone about 725 00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:14,160 Speaker 1: how he had been eating less processed foods and now 726 00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:16,760 Speaker 1: craved cleaner meals, and how Sadie takes him on her 727 00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:21,080 Speaker 1: morning runs. Throughout it all, however, my wife looked noticeably annoyed, 728 00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:23,600 Speaker 1: and when I tried to speak to her, she brushed 729 00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:26,240 Speaker 1: me off, saying that Sadie was trying to change Paul 730 00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:29,320 Speaker 1: into some of you was not despite everything, she held 731 00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:31,720 Speaker 1: her tongue. That night, while my wife and I were 732 00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:35,440 Speaker 1: having drinks with all her siblings, the conversation steered toward 733 00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:39,640 Speaker 1: everyone making jokes about Paul's new lifestyle and how surprised 734 00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:42,280 Speaker 1: they were that his type had changed so much. It 735 00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:45,760 Speaker 1: was all lighthearted until my wife offered Paul a second 736 00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:50,000 Speaker 1: adult soda uh oh, and he declined, saying he tried 737 00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:51,840 Speaker 1: to drink less because Sadie hates the smell of it. 738 00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:54,320 Speaker 1: That led my sister in law to crack a joke 739 00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:57,520 Speaker 1: saying that he better refused the adult soda or he 740 00:32:57,520 --> 00:33:00,720 Speaker 1: wouldn't get lucky that night. At that point, I think 741 00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:03,360 Speaker 1: Paul just had enough of the jokes and drink another 742 00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:05,480 Speaker 1: adult soda just to quiet everyone down. 743 00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:09,320 Speaker 2: I hate that. I hate that you shouldn't have to 744 00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:12,560 Speaker 2: feel bad for wanting to like be healthy, accommodating to 745 00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:16,000 Speaker 2: his girlfriend and also just be healthier. 746 00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:18,800 Speaker 1: I think like sometimes you get around that certain group 747 00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:23,760 Speaker 1: and whether that's like drinking or smoking or like eating unhealthily, 748 00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:28,080 Speaker 1: they make you feel bad if you don't. Also, like 749 00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:30,000 Speaker 1: that's not everyone who does those things, but like there 750 00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:33,120 Speaker 1: are certain people that will make you feel bad because 751 00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:36,320 Speaker 1: they kind of feel bad about it, and then they 752 00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:39,800 Speaker 1: see you not wanting to do that, and to them 753 00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:42,400 Speaker 1: it feels like a slight against them. Yea, And like 754 00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:46,360 Speaker 1: you're making you know, you're saying that they're doing something wrong. 755 00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:48,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's not what you're doing, Paul. I never thought 756 00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:51,560 Speaker 2: like if I like go out and like drink and 757 00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:53,600 Speaker 2: like someone's like, oh I don't drink whatever, I don't 758 00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:55,600 Speaker 2: like make them feel bad for that. Yeah, because you're 759 00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:56,480 Speaker 2: a good person. 760 00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:00,000 Speaker 1: It's crazy. 761 00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:03,680 Speaker 2: It's actually crazy. I'm just nice to them. Yeah, I 762 00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:06,960 Speaker 2: don't know, better than being mean. 763 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:10,560 Speaker 1: I guess by one am Paul had gotten Prince Zip 764 00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:14,080 Speaker 1: say two beers had turned in two five. And then 765 00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:16,280 Speaker 1: he took the bait of the other's jokes by revealing 766 00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:18,719 Speaker 1: that Sadie actually wants to wait a while before they 767 00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:22,319 Speaker 1: become intimate. Immediately after he said that, my wife told 768 00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:24,560 Speaker 1: him that with them out of money he spent because 769 00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:26,880 Speaker 1: of her, he should be getting somewhere by now. 770 00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:33,360 Speaker 2: Off and with all the money that you're spending on her, 771 00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:36,279 Speaker 2: open her legs. 772 00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:39,080 Speaker 1: And followed up by saying she was surprised because Sadie 773 00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:40,720 Speaker 1: looks like she gives it up pretty easily. 774 00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:47,160 Speaker 2: Yoh wow, Oh, I would have slapped something off of someone. 775 00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:49,439 Speaker 2: You knocked the highlights out of her hair. 776 00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:57,359 Speaker 1: After that, things went south fast, and Paul hasn't spoke 777 00:34:57,440 --> 00:35:00,600 Speaker 1: to my wife since December. No matter how many times 778 00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:02,680 Speaker 1: I tried to reason with my wife and tell her 779 00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:05,480 Speaker 1: that all she needed to do was apologize, she wouldn't 780 00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:07,839 Speaker 1: hear it. She kept insisting she was the only one 781 00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:10,279 Speaker 1: who cared enough to tell him the truth. On top 782 00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:12,720 Speaker 1: of that, she started trying to turn her parents against 783 00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:16,280 Speaker 1: Paul's relationship by telling him that Sadie posts designer bags 784 00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:19,719 Speaker 1: and sheoes on Instagram and that she bets Paul is 785 00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:20,280 Speaker 1: the one. 786 00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:21,040 Speaker 2: Paying for it all. 787 00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:23,400 Speaker 1: One night, I tried to tell her to stop and 788 00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:25,840 Speaker 1: that she should be happy for her brother, but that 789 00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:28,600 Speaker 1: escalated into an argument where she made a remark about 790 00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:31,160 Speaker 1: how I apparently don't know what an older sibling looking 791 00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:32,560 Speaker 1: out for a younger one looks like. 792 00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:34,920 Speaker 2: Not this, it's not this. 793 00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:37,880 Speaker 1: At that point I told her that her attitude was 794 00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:39,520 Speaker 1: the reason Paul cut her off. 795 00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:41,000 Speaker 2: Am I the a hole. 796 00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:42,880 Speaker 1: For finally reaching the end of the rope and telling 797 00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:44,280 Speaker 1: my wife the ugly truth? 798 00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:45,000 Speaker 3: Nah? 799 00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:47,480 Speaker 2: And there is an update. I think you think. I 800 00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:49,399 Speaker 2: think if she's gonna hear it, it should be from him. 801 00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:52,200 Speaker 2: I think you gotta tell the truth more. Yeah, you 802 00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:55,239 Speaker 2: gave her like a little bit of the truth. That's true. 803 00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:57,360 Speaker 2: You get her a nibble of the truth. You said 804 00:35:57,440 --> 00:35:59,879 Speaker 2: like one thing that everyone has been thinking. But there's 805 00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:02,719 Speaker 2: also several other things you could have said, but I 806 00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:05,440 Speaker 2: think you started off with like yeah, the best one 807 00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:07,120 Speaker 2: being like yeah, when you act like that, that's probably 808 00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:09,640 Speaker 2: why he doesn't talk to us anymore. Yeah, I think 809 00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:11,520 Speaker 2: you should call her out way more. She sucks. 810 00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:13,480 Speaker 3: Do you do you think it's just because it's like 811 00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:16,719 Speaker 3: a sibling dynamic or like because again it's I don't 812 00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:21,359 Speaker 3: even know, man, Like that's like, this is why she has. 813 00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:23,440 Speaker 2: A weird relationship with her brother. I mean it could 814 00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:27,680 Speaker 2: be like I mean, I know families that like are 815 00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:32,000 Speaker 2: weird like that, that want to be like a thing. 816 00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:35,800 Speaker 2: But yeah, they're like really close and they post pictures 817 00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:38,880 Speaker 2: of themselves like kissing each other's cheeks and stuff, and 818 00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:40,920 Speaker 2: it's like your brother and sister. I don't know what, 819 00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:42,600 Speaker 2: why do I have to think about this? 820 00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:45,600 Speaker 1: And it might not even be like a they actually 821 00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:48,000 Speaker 1: want that in like a weird way or anything, but 822 00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:51,439 Speaker 1: I know it gets to the level of enmeshment where 823 00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:52,520 Speaker 1: she's just too involved. 824 00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:55,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, too involved, and let your brother live his life, 825 00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:57,160 Speaker 2: Like if you're sitting there and trying to control him 826 00:36:57,160 --> 00:36:58,800 Speaker 2: all the time, No wonder he doesn't want to speak 827 00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:01,279 Speaker 2: to you. But we do have update, so let's see 828 00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:02,560 Speaker 2: if she changed her tune. 829 00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:05,520 Speaker 1: Hey everyone, and I honestly didn't expect to get this 830 00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:07,800 Speaker 1: much feedback, but I just want to give a heartfelt 831 00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:09,560 Speaker 1: thanks to everyone who offered advice. 832 00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:12,240 Speaker 2: After reading the comments and doing. 833 00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:15,680 Speaker 1: Some quiet assessment of the situation, I decided to reach 834 00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:18,359 Speaker 1: out to Paul, not on behalf of my wife, and 835 00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:21,880 Speaker 1: not to make excuses for her behavior, but to genuinely 836 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:23,880 Speaker 1: check in and make sure he was doing okay, and 837 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:25,839 Speaker 1: to let him know that if he ever wanted to talk, 838 00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:28,520 Speaker 1: I'm here. Took a bit of convincing, but I will 839 00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:31,320 Speaker 1: be meeting with him tomorrow during my lunch break. As 840 00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:34,320 Speaker 1: for things between my wife and I since that argument, 841 00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:37,560 Speaker 1: she's been very frosty. Before she left for work, I 842 00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:39,480 Speaker 1: told her I was sorry for the way I phrased 843 00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:41,120 Speaker 1: my words and that I would like it if we 844 00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:44,799 Speaker 1: could sit down, think about the situation rationally, and look 845 00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:48,480 Speaker 1: at each other's perspectives. I don't think you phrased your 846 00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:52,280 Speaker 1: words harsh enough. That, however, just led to another argument, 847 00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:54,800 Speaker 1: as apparently to her, it seemed like I was playing 848 00:37:54,880 --> 00:38:00,200 Speaker 1: devil's advocate for Sadie. Sadie's not the devil, girl, you dad, 849 00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:02,520 Speaker 1: He's not the devil. I told my wife that I 850 00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:05,200 Speaker 1: don't think Sadie is a gold digger or even trying 851 00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:08,440 Speaker 1: to change who Paul truly is, and that Paul's just 852 00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:10,560 Speaker 1: doing what a lot of guys do when they find 853 00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:13,600 Speaker 1: someone they truly connect with. My wife responded by saying 854 00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:16,480 Speaker 1: that I was only giving a good assessment because I 855 00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:20,160 Speaker 1: find Sadie attractive and ow. 856 00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:25,719 Speaker 2: And there it is jealous. Yeah, could have spotted that 857 00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:29,800 Speaker 2: from a mile away, and despite my reassurances, she scoffed 858 00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:31,760 Speaker 2: and left for work that evening. 859 00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:33,719 Speaker 1: After she got back home from work, she said she 860 00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:36,120 Speaker 1: had late lunch with her friends and wasn't in the 861 00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:38,520 Speaker 1: mood for dinner. When I tried to bring up our 862 00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:40,920 Speaker 1: earlier discussions, she told me that she now knows I 863 00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:43,480 Speaker 1: would never take her aside or trust her instincts, and 864 00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:47,680 Speaker 1: then went to bed. Cause your instincts suck, They're terrible. 865 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,480 Speaker 1: Most likely, I will update after I catch up with 866 00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:53,759 Speaker 1: Paul tomorrow and we got an update too. 867 00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:57,440 Speaker 2: Uh. Oh, do you think that she will listen? 868 00:38:58,160 --> 00:38:58,359 Speaker 3: No? 869 00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:00,719 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think she's to be this way for the 870 00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:03,320 Speaker 2: rest of her life and just be miserable and annoying. 871 00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:07,560 Speaker 2: Ain't I feel like we might be getting a divorce? 872 00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:10,960 Speaker 2: I mean maybe, I don't know. I don't know if 873 00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:13,440 Speaker 2: it'll go well, but we do have an update, so 874 00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:14,640 Speaker 2: let's see what happens. 875 00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:17,040 Speaker 1: Put in the chat one if you think they're gonna 876 00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:19,759 Speaker 1: get divorced, or two if she comes around let us know. 877 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:21,320 Speaker 2: Hey guys, it's been a while. 878 00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:24,160 Speaker 1: Honestly, I wish I had a happier update to give, 879 00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:27,080 Speaker 1: but it seems like every time I tried to take 880 00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:30,480 Speaker 1: one step forward, I end up taking three back. My 881 00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:33,520 Speaker 1: lunch with Paul went great. At first, we talked about 882 00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:35,960 Speaker 1: work in the family, and then we gradually shifted to 883 00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:39,080 Speaker 1: how things stood between him and my wife. Paul said 884 00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:41,719 Speaker 1: that my wife was way out of line and suggesting 885 00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:44,239 Speaker 1: that Sadie was a gold digger, and that if she 886 00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:46,359 Speaker 1: and the rest of their siblings had let him get 887 00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:49,160 Speaker 1: a proper sentence out during the holidays, he would have 888 00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:52,680 Speaker 1: set them straight. Apparently, Sadie has her own money, buys 889 00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:55,680 Speaker 1: basically whatever she wants, and even owns a small business 890 00:39:55,719 --> 00:39:58,839 Speaker 1: back in her home country while also earning a decent living. 891 00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:03,200 Speaker 2: Year admitted that yeah, he buys Sadie gifts, as all 892 00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:07,000 Speaker 2: boyfriends do, but those gifts aren't the reason she's with him. 893 00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:11,319 Speaker 1: Yeah, every boyfriend buys gifts. He said that he went 894 00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:13,440 Speaker 1: out and bought new things like an air fryer for 895 00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:16,840 Speaker 1: his apartment because he genuinely wanted those items, and that 896 00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:19,759 Speaker 1: Sadie's been teaching him how to cook simple meals so 897 00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:22,080 Speaker 1: he won't turn the door dash when she isn't around. 898 00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:24,960 Speaker 1: He also told me that Sadie has her own appliances 899 00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:28,319 Speaker 1: in her own apartment. What came as a surprise was 900 00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:31,120 Speaker 1: that Paul told me he had asked Sadie to move 901 00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:34,640 Speaker 1: in with him Wow, but she declined, saying she doesn't 902 00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:37,279 Speaker 1: believe in living together before marriage and also thought it 903 00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:39,600 Speaker 1: was too soon and she didn't want him to feel suffocated. 904 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:42,720 Speaker 1: Paul also told me that before he blocked my Wife, 905 00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:46,440 Speaker 1: she had been sending him messages raging about how wrong 906 00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:48,920 Speaker 1: Sadie was for him, and now she was driving him 907 00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:49,680 Speaker 1: away from. 908 00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:51,239 Speaker 2: The family to isolate him. 909 00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:54,160 Speaker 1: He laughed at that, because he said Sadie's actually been 910 00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:56,920 Speaker 1: making sure Paul feels like he has a support system 911 00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:59,480 Speaker 1: outside of her. She cooked a whole spread for him 912 00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:01,719 Speaker 1: and his friend during the Super Bowl and even left 913 00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:05,000 Speaker 1: afterward despite them insisting she stay just so he could 914 00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:06,520 Speaker 1: have some time alone with his friends. 915 00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:11,760 Speaker 2: Healthy Healthy, Healthy, Healthy Black. 916 00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:14,920 Speaker 1: My wife has also told Paul that Sadie was probably 917 00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:18,040 Speaker 1: just using him for citizenship and wanted to escape her 918 00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:21,279 Speaker 1: home country. Paul said that was the message that solidified 919 00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:24,040 Speaker 1: his decision to block my wife, since all of it 920 00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:27,120 Speaker 1: was completely unfounded. Sadie has been a citizen for a 921 00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:29,919 Speaker 1: few years and actually has a pretty good home back 922 00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:33,200 Speaker 1: in her country. Paul also mentioned that Sadie has been 923 00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:36,440 Speaker 1: more open to forgiving my wife than he has, that 924 00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:40,120 Speaker 1: she's very family oriented and hates the idea that others 925 00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:42,880 Speaker 1: think she's trying to isolate him. I think it's just 926 00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:46,680 Speaker 1: Opie's wife. Moving on to the current status of my marriage, 927 00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:49,839 Speaker 1: my wife had no idea. I met with Paul when 928 00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:52,080 Speaker 1: I got home that evening. She was already in a 929 00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:55,400 Speaker 1: bad mood because one of her friends had said something insensitive. 930 00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:57,919 Speaker 2: Whoa, whoa. 931 00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:01,680 Speaker 1: One of your friends said something insensitive and that made 932 00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:03,080 Speaker 1: you feel bad? 933 00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:09,319 Speaker 2: No, oh, no, anyway, so I let it go for 934 00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:09,640 Speaker 2: the night. 935 00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:13,160 Speaker 1: The message she had sent Paul about Sadie's home country 936 00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:16,360 Speaker 1: still lingered in my mind because the way she had 937 00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:19,759 Speaker 1: phrased things was completely out of line and struck a 938 00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:23,480 Speaker 1: particular nerve with me personally. Saturday came around and things 939 00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:26,840 Speaker 1: were somewhat calm until my wife decided to start ranting 940 00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:30,759 Speaker 1: about the entire situation with Paul again. I tried to 941 00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:32,920 Speaker 1: shut it down, but she had gone quiet for a 942 00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:34,600 Speaker 1: minute or two, and I thought she had agreed to 943 00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:38,040 Speaker 1: let it go, only to realize that she was browsing 944 00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:39,399 Speaker 1: Sadie's Instagram. 945 00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:40,720 Speaker 2: Stop. 946 00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:42,480 Speaker 3: I think she's just obsessed. 947 00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:44,400 Speaker 2: She is, she is obsessed. 948 00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:46,799 Speaker 1: I tried to shift her attention and asked if she 949 00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:49,480 Speaker 1: was excited about where I was taking her for Valentine's Day, 950 00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:51,120 Speaker 1: but she brushed me off. 951 00:42:51,239 --> 00:42:55,760 Speaker 2: She's like, I don't freaking care about Valentine's Day. I mean, honestly, 952 00:42:56,320 --> 00:43:00,520 Speaker 2: I think he might have to end it, Opie. Yeah, really, 953 00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:03,400 Speaker 2: you know you're trying. You're just now discovering her true colors. 954 00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:05,720 Speaker 2: I don't know how long they've been together, but you're 955 00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:08,800 Speaker 2: just now discovering what a freak she is. And it's like, Okay, 956 00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:12,640 Speaker 2: she's just so aggressive. She is for like what reason? 957 00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:16,879 Speaker 2: Like your reason. She was like so worried that her 958 00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:22,160 Speaker 2: her son, that her brother wasn't happy, and then she 959 00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:26,160 Speaker 2: discovers that he is happy, and she's like, well, I 960 00:43:26,239 --> 00:43:28,920 Speaker 2: had nothing to do with that, exactly exactly. 961 00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:31,719 Speaker 1: She's upset because she didn't have anything to do with 962 00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:33,040 Speaker 1: like his happiness. 963 00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:35,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, and she needs to be involved in every area 964 00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:37,960 Speaker 2: of his life. Yeah, Like what a control freak. 965 00:43:38,239 --> 00:43:42,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, but we've got a little bit left. I finally 966 00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:44,960 Speaker 1: told her to stop and that most people don't spend 967 00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:48,919 Speaker 1: hours obsessing over their brother's girlfriend. She shot back, saying 968 00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:51,880 Speaker 1: I don't care about her or her family and that 969 00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:54,680 Speaker 1: I was allowing her brother to get taken advantage of. 970 00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:57,960 Speaker 1: I told her calmly that I trust Paul and his 971 00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:01,160 Speaker 1: ability to think for himself, and that the simplest way 972 00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:03,520 Speaker 1: to quell her worries was to apologize to her brother 973 00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:06,560 Speaker 1: and ask for a chance to get to know Sadie. 974 00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:09,160 Speaker 1: She said she doesn't need to get to know Sadie, 975 00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:12,439 Speaker 1: and I gave up. We did go out for Valentine's Day, 976 00:44:12,440 --> 00:44:15,920 Speaker 1: but the vibe just wasn't there this evening. When she 977 00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:18,840 Speaker 1: gets home, I'm going to ask her to attend couples. 978 00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:20,479 Speaker 2: Counseling with me or if. 979 00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:24,200 Speaker 1: She prefers, individual therapy, because this is becoming too much. 980 00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:28,240 Speaker 1: Thanks for all the advice again. Yeah, you need big 981 00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:32,000 Speaker 1: amounts of therapy because this marriage is not gonna last 982 00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:33,879 Speaker 1: if you just keep going on the track you're on. 983 00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:39,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree, I think counseling individual and yeah, she 984 00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:43,640 Speaker 2: other she really needs some uh, because now you're you're 985 00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:46,160 Speaker 2: like falling out of love with this woman now, all 986 00:44:46,239 --> 00:44:50,080 Speaker 2: because of these, like I would too, weird controlling assumptions 987 00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:53,600 Speaker 2: that she has of her own brother and this girl 988 00:44:53,719 --> 00:44:57,440 Speaker 2: that is doing wonders for him, especially because she's like, 989 00:44:57,719 --> 00:44:59,799 Speaker 2: he's you know, depressed, and he's down and I feel 990 00:44:59,840 --> 00:45:01,640 Speaker 2: bad for him and blah blah, and now he's happy, 991 00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:05,280 Speaker 2: and she's like, well, he should have taken my advice 992 00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:07,399 Speaker 2: on how to get happy, not like do his own thing. 993 00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:10,359 Speaker 2: It's like, girl, he's happy, be happy for him. 994 00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:13,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, she doesn't want self sustaining happiness. 995 00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:15,680 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just crazy in my opinion. 996 00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:17,640 Speaker 2: But that's the end of that story, folks. And we've 997 00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:21,000 Speaker 2: got another one coming right up. Yeah, we do. My 998 00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:24,560 Speaker 2: mother refused to leave my dad even if he was cheating. 999 00:45:25,080 --> 00:45:27,600 Speaker 1: Now I know, I girl leave him. 1000 00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:30,960 Speaker 2: I eighteen male. For the past two years have seen 1001 00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:33,960 Speaker 2: a weird dynamic between my father, forty six, and my 1002 00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:37,759 Speaker 2: mother's younger sister, thirty four. My dad is a guy 1003 00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:41,239 Speaker 2: with some status. I mean, not a big deal for 1004 00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:44,040 Speaker 2: the general population, but he is the VP of a 1005 00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:47,840 Speaker 2: company that has production and branches in eight countries and 1006 00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:50,360 Speaker 2: is not exactly modest about it. No one is smart 1007 00:45:50,440 --> 00:45:52,920 Speaker 2: enough to give him advice, no one knows better. By 1008 00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:56,000 Speaker 2: the way, this comes from Okay Weird ninety four to 1009 00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:57,600 Speaker 2: thirty and if you want to submit your own stories, 1010 00:45:57,640 --> 00:46:00,640 Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay Storytime subredd And I'm Savannah, 1011 00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:02,839 Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, I'm Keon, and we are here to get 1012 00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:05,080 Speaker 2: some good vice in a little goof manner. But we 1013 00:46:05,160 --> 00:46:07,319 Speaker 2: do not have all of the answers. We'd only tell 1014 00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:08,759 Speaker 2: you what we would do in this situation. But I 1015 00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:11,120 Speaker 2: would love, but love love to know what you would 1016 00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:15,160 Speaker 2: do down in the comments. As Opie says in his field, 1017 00:46:15,280 --> 00:46:18,000 Speaker 2: I am sure he's very skilled, but no one knows 1018 00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:21,040 Speaker 2: better than him, even with unrelated things like what furniture 1019 00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:23,399 Speaker 2: to buy, why the dog won't eat, and stuff like that. 1020 00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:26,440 Speaker 2: When we eat, my mother puts the plate in his face, 1021 00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:29,400 Speaker 2: puts the food on that plate, and he looks around 1022 00:46:29,440 --> 00:46:31,680 Speaker 2: and is like the recipe for the steak says it 1023 00:46:31,719 --> 00:46:34,719 Speaker 2: should be eaten without salt, and my mother instantly jumps 1024 00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:37,359 Speaker 2: up and brings the salt she forgot. I told him 1025 00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:39,840 Speaker 2: you can bring it yourself if you need it. I 1026 00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:42,200 Speaker 2: don't know how relevant it is, but my dad is Slavic. 1027 00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:46,560 Speaker 2: He's a slav as a Slavic man, as a Slavic man, 1028 00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:49,840 Speaker 2: as a Slavic woman. I agree with this Slavac. He 1029 00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:53,359 Speaker 2: knows best, he knows best, and I disregot everything I said. 1030 00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:58,480 Speaker 2: My dad's Slavic came here pretty poor when when he 1031 00:46:58,520 --> 00:47:01,960 Speaker 2: was a student there is from here, still European, but 1032 00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:05,799 Speaker 2: more western. He works long hours, meetings after meetings and 1033 00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:08,880 Speaker 2: then goes to jog or to the gym, or during 1034 00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:11,360 Speaker 2: winter he goes to the pool to swim. During that 1035 00:47:12,719 --> 00:47:15,279 Speaker 2: my mother, who also has a full time job, tries 1036 00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:17,279 Speaker 2: to hurry with the dinner. I try to help her 1037 00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:19,560 Speaker 2: all the time, but I really don't think she should 1038 00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:22,360 Speaker 2: be doing all that for him. This aunt of mine 1039 00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:26,520 Speaker 2: is pretty funny and doesn't take life too seriously. Thirty four, 1040 00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:29,520 Speaker 2: no kids and divorced with a history of affairs with 1041 00:47:29,640 --> 00:47:32,720 Speaker 2: married guys that ended in drama. Dad treats her differently 1042 00:47:32,760 --> 00:47:36,120 Speaker 2: than he treats everyone. He talks down to people and 1043 00:47:36,160 --> 00:47:38,680 Speaker 2: everyone is walking on thin ice around him. But my 1044 00:47:38,800 --> 00:47:42,840 Speaker 2: aunt doesn't s was rubbing his arms. So, mister big boss, 1045 00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:47,120 Speaker 2: have you peeled potatoes yourself? Because they are the best 1046 00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:50,120 Speaker 2: and we all know only you can make the best things. 1047 00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:53,160 Speaker 2: And then she laughed, and he laughed too. He doesn't 1048 00:47:53,200 --> 00:47:56,719 Speaker 2: laugh with us. Dad's hobby is making wine. And he 1049 00:47:56,800 --> 00:47:58,520 Speaker 2: took my aunt to see the grapes and put a 1050 00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:00,319 Speaker 2: grape himself in her mind mouth. 1051 00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:02,719 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, depends how you did. 1052 00:48:02,719 --> 00:48:11,600 Speaker 2: It was like did he throw it? He goes? Oh, 1053 00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:17,360 Speaker 2: think fast? Or he was mowing the lawn and she said, ooh, 1054 00:48:17,440 --> 00:48:23,320 Speaker 2: mister engineer, doing the ordinary man work. Where are your servants? Girls? 1055 00:48:23,440 --> 00:48:23,840 Speaker 1: Stop? 1056 00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:27,920 Speaker 2: He left? Stop it. People who work under him at 1057 00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:30,440 Speaker 2: the company or directly with him are under constant stress 1058 00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:34,080 Speaker 2: because he treats them like in the military on burger events. 1059 00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:37,560 Speaker 2: Every time he is around, people are somehow tensed. She 1060 00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:40,160 Speaker 2: put her hand against his neck and said, what do 1061 00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:43,359 Speaker 2: you say, brother in law? Would you make me your secretary? 1062 00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:43,640 Speaker 4: Oh? 1063 00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:51,279 Speaker 2: Oh, ew, why would you? As a slavic woman, I 1064 00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:57,720 Speaker 2: disagree with that. Wake up, that's gross. My mother didn't 1065 00:48:57,800 --> 00:48:59,440 Speaker 2: like that. Well, yes, I. 1066 00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:00,600 Speaker 3: Don't think any one like that. 1067 00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:05,640 Speaker 2: But mother would. She's like, yes, dear, And he laughed 1068 00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:10,560 Speaker 2: and said you would beat my but and she says, 1069 00:49:10,719 --> 00:49:12,840 Speaker 2: and you would deserve that? In wings? 1070 00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:15,040 Speaker 4: Ew do they do? 1071 00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:17,320 Speaker 3: They not realize there are people in the room. 1072 00:49:17,719 --> 00:49:20,200 Speaker 2: I don't think they care. They just don't care. 1073 00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:22,480 Speaker 3: Like, hey, stop it, you know what? 1074 00:49:22,520 --> 00:49:22,840 Speaker 2: That's it? 1075 00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:24,160 Speaker 1: Spring? 1076 00:49:24,200 --> 00:49:24,759 Speaker 3: What's going on? 1077 00:49:25,160 --> 00:49:29,319 Speaker 2: Water spray? I would literally be like stop, so you 1078 00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:30,239 Speaker 2: guys gonna kiss her? 1079 00:49:30,239 --> 00:49:30,279 Speaker 3: What? 1080 00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:34,480 Speaker 2: I would get a room and they're like, you want that? 1081 00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:37,480 Speaker 2: We can do that only if I'm his second day, 1082 00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:44,160 Speaker 2: only only in front of everyone here. If my mother 1083 00:49:44,239 --> 00:49:47,279 Speaker 2: needs a ride he is always busy, or if I 1084 00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:49,640 Speaker 2: needed now, I can gride myself. But when my aunt 1085 00:49:49,680 --> 00:49:51,600 Speaker 2: called him at ten pm to pick her up from 1086 00:49:51,640 --> 00:49:54,640 Speaker 2: the train station, he was at the office, but he 1087 00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:57,440 Speaker 2: went to pick her up. So they're having an affair 1088 00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:01,759 Speaker 2: or something. And the update is I told mom, without 1089 00:50:01,880 --> 00:50:05,040 Speaker 2: using the word cheat, just about my concerns, and she 1090 00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:07,560 Speaker 2: got angry and threw a coffee mug on the floor. 1091 00:50:07,680 --> 00:50:11,160 Speaker 2: WHOA Okay, she got angry and cried and said to 1092 00:50:11,239 --> 00:50:16,240 Speaker 2: never repeat such nonsense. That's cause shit old Betty knows. Yeah, 1093 00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:19,680 Speaker 2: she knows your dad is chitting on her and she 1094 00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:22,880 Speaker 2: doesn't want to confront that. Then it's just in my head. 1095 00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:26,880 Speaker 2: She also immediately called Dad to tell him what I did. Girl, 1096 00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:31,040 Speaker 2: I feel betrayed. To be honest, why she needs to 1097 00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:34,200 Speaker 2: tell him everything? I am a bit worried he will 1098 00:50:34,239 --> 00:50:37,040 Speaker 2: be angry with me when he comes home. 1099 00:50:37,200 --> 00:50:41,760 Speaker 1: Freaking hitler, youth over here, stop reporting on your family. 1100 00:50:42,640 --> 00:50:44,480 Speaker 2: There's an update. What do we think is gonna happen? 1101 00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:47,520 Speaker 2: I hate this. He's gonna go home and be like 1102 00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:48,719 Speaker 2: what with you? 1103 00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:50,160 Speaker 4: That's it stopping? 1104 00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:52,239 Speaker 1: Get me to eight. I think the mom is not 1105 00:50:52,280 --> 00:50:55,160 Speaker 1: gonna do anything because unfortunately she is stuck in this 1106 00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:56,640 Speaker 1: very Lina's dorm out. 1107 00:50:56,880 --> 00:50:58,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, well she's dorm out. 1108 00:50:58,080 --> 00:51:02,640 Speaker 1: And also I think just sorry, oh, just trained to 1109 00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:03,880 Speaker 1: be like traditional wife. 1110 00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:06,920 Speaker 3: Yes, but also like since he's has so much money 1111 00:51:07,200 --> 00:51:08,839 Speaker 3: that I mean, she's a full time job too, she's 1112 00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:12,000 Speaker 3: a full time job. But like this guy's probably like hey, 1113 00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:15,600 Speaker 3: if you you know, if you can leave whatever you want, 1114 00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:17,040 Speaker 3: I'm not gonna give you any more money or like 1115 00:51:17,040 --> 00:51:18,040 Speaker 3: I'm not gonna provide. 1116 00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:18,400 Speaker 1: For you anymore. 1117 00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:21,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, like yeah, I mean I want kind of thing. 1118 00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:22,360 Speaker 2: I have all this power. 1119 00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:22,759 Speaker 3: Yeah. 1120 00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:25,239 Speaker 1: The problem is that I think that even though she 1121 00:51:25,680 --> 00:51:27,719 Speaker 1: like totally would be fine if she laughed, because again, 1122 00:51:27,760 --> 00:51:29,720 Speaker 1: she has full time job. I think she is stuck 1123 00:51:29,719 --> 00:51:33,640 Speaker 1: in this like traditional idea of I can't leave my husband. 1124 00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:35,600 Speaker 1: I'm supposed to care for my husband. It doesn't matter 1125 00:51:35,640 --> 00:51:37,400 Speaker 1: if he cheats on me. I just have to keep going, 1126 00:51:38,160 --> 00:51:40,319 Speaker 1: and anyone who says anything bad about my husband is 1127 00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:42,360 Speaker 1: the enemy, even if it's her own kids. 1128 00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:46,799 Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, I don't know. Weird family dynamic we 1129 00:51:46,880 --> 00:51:50,720 Speaker 2: got here so weird. But onto the update. Mom doesn't 1130 00:51:50,719 --> 00:51:53,200 Speaker 2: talk to me, doesn't talk to him. She didn't even 1131 00:51:53,239 --> 00:51:56,400 Speaker 2: feed my seven year old sister, and I cannot stop 1132 00:51:56,400 --> 00:51:58,960 Speaker 2: feeling it's my fault. I had plans with friends for 1133 00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:01,520 Speaker 2: New Year's Eve, but I feel guilty and bad. I 1134 00:52:01,560 --> 00:52:04,320 Speaker 2: should have waited until January? Should I apologize? 1135 00:52:04,320 --> 00:52:04,919 Speaker 4: Would help? 1136 00:52:05,480 --> 00:52:08,080 Speaker 2: Don't apologize? You did nothing wrong. 1137 00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:12,319 Speaker 1: You're probably gonna be moving out soon, and realize that 1138 00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:14,640 Speaker 1: maybe you need to distance yourself from this family. 1139 00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:19,600 Speaker 2: Unfortunately, Yeah, I don't think. I mean, you can apologize, 1140 00:52:19,600 --> 00:52:22,879 Speaker 2: but be like I still feel that way though, Yeah, 1141 00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:25,719 Speaker 2: you did literally nothing wrong. Yeah, I feel like you 1142 00:52:25,760 --> 00:52:28,040 Speaker 2: are trying to look out for your mom. Yeah, because 1143 00:52:28,480 --> 00:52:31,920 Speaker 2: your dad and her sister have a weird dynamic. 1144 00:52:32,160 --> 00:52:32,359 Speaker 3: Yah. 1145 00:52:32,480 --> 00:52:34,640 Speaker 1: Unfortunately, the only one who can help your mom is 1146 00:52:34,640 --> 00:52:35,040 Speaker 1: your mom. 1147 00:52:35,239 --> 00:52:35,960 Speaker 4: That's true. 1148 00:52:36,440 --> 00:52:40,480 Speaker 2: Upting number two. Three days later, my mother today came 1149 00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:43,160 Speaker 2: to me to talk and apologize for her reaction, and 1150 00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:45,400 Speaker 2: she also wanted me to know she truly doesn't believe 1151 00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:48,760 Speaker 2: he is cheating with her sister, okay, girl, but admitted 1152 00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:51,319 Speaker 2: their interactions are making her sad because he is never 1153 00:52:51,360 --> 00:52:54,239 Speaker 2: that chill around her. In her opinion, it's just that 1154 00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:58,240 Speaker 2: her sister has a way with him, she herself doesn't. Yeah, 1155 00:52:58,280 --> 00:53:03,359 Speaker 2: a way of cheating, Yeah, flirty way, a rambunctious way 1156 00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:07,800 Speaker 2: of like intertwining, and ended it always saying that probably 1157 00:53:07,920 --> 00:53:10,320 Speaker 2: her sister would be a better match for my dad, 1158 00:53:10,360 --> 00:53:12,520 Speaker 2: but asked me to never again come to her with 1159 00:53:12,560 --> 00:53:15,560 Speaker 2: such comments as I did recently. Now you're even admitting 1160 00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:18,839 Speaker 2: it though. Yeah, she just can't face it. That's how 1161 00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:22,359 Speaker 2: your problem, girls, I mean, boy boy. 1162 00:53:23,239 --> 00:53:23,359 Speaker 3: Uh. 1163 00:53:23,520 --> 00:53:26,400 Speaker 2: She repeated that she's sure he is not cheating with 1164 00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:28,919 Speaker 2: my aunt, but even if he did, she doesn't want 1165 00:53:28,960 --> 00:53:32,040 Speaker 2: to live without him. Okay, so you just are giving. 1166 00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:35,480 Speaker 4: Him permission to do that, I guess. Yeah, that's crazy. 1167 00:53:36,640 --> 00:53:40,120 Speaker 2: And she mentioned that the custody over my sister would also. 1168 00:53:39,880 --> 00:53:41,200 Speaker 4: Be a very sensitive topic. 1169 00:53:41,680 --> 00:53:45,839 Speaker 2: Oh that's bit. So nothing got solved here, And I'm 1170 00:53:45,840 --> 00:53:50,200 Speaker 2: pretty sure he is messing around with your aunt. Positive 1171 00:53:50,239 --> 00:53:53,960 Speaker 2: about that, yeah, because why else would they be like 1172 00:53:54,120 --> 00:53:58,080 Speaker 2: weirdly flirting Like I have aunts and uncles. Never seen 1173 00:53:58,120 --> 00:54:01,480 Speaker 2: any of them do that with anyone else besides their 1174 00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:02,360 Speaker 2: significant others. 1175 00:54:02,440 --> 00:54:04,120 Speaker 4: Yeah, no, it's so freaking weird. 1176 00:54:04,200 --> 00:54:07,920 Speaker 2: It was really weird, really weird. But that's the end 1177 00:54:07,960 --> 00:54:10,560 Speaker 2: of that story, and we got another one coming round 1178 00:54:10,600 --> 00:54:16,200 Speaker 2: it sure do. Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fake redhead 1179 00:54:16,239 --> 00:54:19,400 Speaker 2: host here and we're going to get back to the stories. 1180 00:54:19,440 --> 00:54:22,520 Speaker 2: But here's a three minute ad break from our sponsors. 1181 00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:26,160 Speaker 1: My mother wish she had a different daughter and now 1182 00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:27,520 Speaker 1: everything's changed. 1183 00:54:27,880 --> 00:54:31,640 Speaker 2: What's wrong with me? Is it because I don't shape 1184 00:54:31,680 --> 00:54:33,120 Speaker 2: my lane? 1185 00:54:33,239 --> 00:54:36,120 Speaker 1: For some context, my mom has this friend couple she 1186 00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:38,680 Speaker 1: met when she was a teenager and they have a 1187 00:54:38,760 --> 00:54:42,080 Speaker 1: daughter six months older than me, be Female twenty five. 1188 00:54:42,440 --> 00:54:44,600 Speaker 1: We used to be very close when we were younger, 1189 00:54:44,640 --> 00:54:47,040 Speaker 1: but as we grew up, our interests were very different, 1190 00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:50,080 Speaker 1: so we kind of drifted apart. And she's still close 1191 00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:52,759 Speaker 1: to my sister, Female twenty three. By the way, this 1192 00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:55,160 Speaker 1: comes from throwing am I the Ahole eight four eight 1193 00:54:55,320 --> 00:54:57,400 Speaker 1: nine two nine, And if you want to smit your 1194 00:54:57,400 --> 00:54:59,920 Speaker 1: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subur 1195 00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:04,040 Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, I'm Savannah, I'm Keon, and we're here to 1196 00:55:04,040 --> 00:55:05,759 Speaker 1: give good of us, goofy, but we don't have all 1197 00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:08,040 Speaker 1: the answers. We really know what we'd do, So let 1198 00:55:08,120 --> 00:55:09,759 Speaker 1: us know what you would do in the comments, and 1199 00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:13,120 Speaker 1: Opie says, last year, when my country was in lockdown, 1200 00:55:13,280 --> 00:55:15,719 Speaker 1: my daughter, a female four at the time, had a 1201 00:55:15,960 --> 00:55:18,600 Speaker 1: very hard time adjusting to the fact that we had 1202 00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:22,040 Speaker 1: to stay home and she couldn't go to daycare since 1203 00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:25,360 Speaker 1: they were only open to essential workers. She started to 1204 00:55:25,360 --> 00:55:28,280 Speaker 1: become aggressive and I had a very hard time dealing 1205 00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:31,000 Speaker 1: with her, and it took about three to four months 1206 00:55:31,040 --> 00:55:33,520 Speaker 1: and the help of a social worker to fix this problem. 1207 00:55:33,840 --> 00:55:35,680 Speaker 1: Before I was able to fix the issue, I got 1208 00:55:35,719 --> 00:55:37,759 Speaker 1: a message from B saying that I was a piece 1209 00:55:37,800 --> 00:55:38,680 Speaker 1: of garbage. 1210 00:55:39,120 --> 00:55:41,200 Speaker 2: Oh ollow, that I'm the one. 1211 00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:44,000 Speaker 1: Who caused my kid's behavior issues because I'm a bad mom. 1212 00:55:44,200 --> 00:55:47,359 Speaker 1: Oh that my kid lost the wrong parent. Oh her 1213 00:55:47,440 --> 00:55:49,920 Speaker 1: dad passed away when she was one and a half. 1214 00:55:50,160 --> 00:55:52,759 Speaker 2: That's a horrible thing to say to someone, And that 1215 00:55:52,840 --> 00:55:56,960 Speaker 2: I should have been the one who passed away. Oh B. Why, well, 1216 00:55:57,080 --> 00:55:58,880 Speaker 2: she chose violence for no reason. 1217 00:55:59,640 --> 00:56:01,879 Speaker 1: She said, she feels sorry for my kid because she's 1218 00:56:01,880 --> 00:56:03,920 Speaker 1: stuck with me until she's old enough to leave, and 1219 00:56:03,960 --> 00:56:07,840 Speaker 1: several other things along those lines. I was really surprised 1220 00:56:07,920 --> 00:56:10,000 Speaker 1: to get this message because I hadn't talked to her 1221 00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:10,719 Speaker 1: it over a year. 1222 00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:14,439 Speaker 2: Why that's imagine like. 1223 00:56:14,680 --> 00:56:17,040 Speaker 1: You haven't talked to someone in over a year and 1224 00:56:17,080 --> 00:56:20,880 Speaker 1: then you just get like really aggressive, awful message. 1225 00:56:21,640 --> 00:56:25,080 Speaker 2: Huh yeah, h huh huh. 1226 00:56:25,120 --> 00:56:26,920 Speaker 1: So I called my sister to ask her if she 1227 00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:30,320 Speaker 1: knew what it was all about. Apparently, when my sister 1228 00:56:30,440 --> 00:56:33,080 Speaker 1: is upset, she vents to be and when my mom 1229 00:56:33,200 --> 00:56:35,759 Speaker 1: is upset, she vents to be's mom, but they never 1230 00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:37,760 Speaker 1: really update them when they're no longer upset. 1231 00:56:37,760 --> 00:56:39,960 Speaker 2: For some reason. I told me that if she. 1232 00:56:39,920 --> 00:56:42,400 Speaker 1: Wanted to know I'm raising my kid, she should talk 1233 00:56:42,440 --> 00:56:45,680 Speaker 1: to me instead of making up her mind based on 1234 00:56:45,719 --> 00:56:48,680 Speaker 1: what my family says when they're mad. She told me 1235 00:56:48,719 --> 00:56:50,960 Speaker 1: to f off and stop trying to find excuses for 1236 00:56:51,040 --> 00:56:53,319 Speaker 1: being a moron. So I just blocked her. 1237 00:56:54,080 --> 00:56:57,720 Speaker 2: Be like, uh huh what ewa? 1238 00:56:58,440 --> 00:57:01,160 Speaker 1: She called CPS on me two or three days after 1239 00:57:01,360 --> 00:57:04,760 Speaker 1: claiming my kid was neglected, but the case was closed 1240 00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:07,080 Speaker 1: after the first appointment because it was obvious that my 1241 00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:09,640 Speaker 1: kid wasn't neglected. 1242 00:57:10,080 --> 00:57:11,160 Speaker 2: Dude, I'm call my mom. 1243 00:57:11,160 --> 00:57:13,759 Speaker 1: I'm saying I'm gonna have to put you on like 1244 00:57:13,760 --> 00:57:16,200 Speaker 1: an information diet if you talk to Bee's mom because 1245 00:57:16,800 --> 00:57:18,520 Speaker 1: and then you send her what be sent to you. 1246 00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:21,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I also would be like, what are you 1247 00:57:21,600 --> 00:57:25,800 Speaker 2: guys saying that makes them react like yes, is just 1248 00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:29,200 Speaker 2: actually insane. They have to be saying something pretty severe. 1249 00:57:29,480 --> 00:57:32,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, my sister and Bee's dad tried to explain that 1250 00:57:32,800 --> 00:57:35,280 Speaker 1: she shouldn't have said those things, and Bee's dad even 1251 00:57:35,320 --> 00:57:38,240 Speaker 1: apologized on her behalf and I'm still close to him. 1252 00:57:38,640 --> 00:57:41,680 Speaker 1: Fast forward to today, my mom called me because she wanted 1253 00:57:41,720 --> 00:57:44,680 Speaker 1: to take my daughter to the insectarium since Bee was 1254 00:57:44,720 --> 00:57:47,160 Speaker 1: in town for a couple of days and it had 1255 00:57:47,200 --> 00:57:49,000 Speaker 1: been a while since she had seen my kid. 1256 00:57:49,560 --> 00:57:52,400 Speaker 2: No, no, you're not seeing my kid ever again. 1257 00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:54,520 Speaker 3: Ge to switch up, you know, from everything you said, 1258 00:57:54,600 --> 00:57:57,600 Speaker 3: you like, hey, I think something's going on. 1259 00:57:57,720 --> 00:58:00,360 Speaker 2: She's like, hey, yeah, she probably has some sort of 1260 00:58:00,360 --> 00:58:00,920 Speaker 2: mental health. 1261 00:58:00,800 --> 00:58:03,360 Speaker 3: Ish That's what I'm talking about, Like something's going on. 1262 00:58:03,400 --> 00:58:05,520 Speaker 3: Because there's no way you can switch that switch up 1263 00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:05,760 Speaker 3: like that. 1264 00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:09,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely insane to say to the mom that you 1265 00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:12,880 Speaker 1: just told, you know, called c cps on said she 1266 00:58:12,960 --> 00:58:16,040 Speaker 1: was terrible mom, and then you have the audacity to 1267 00:58:16,160 --> 00:58:17,760 Speaker 1: text her and say I want to take your. 1268 00:58:17,600 --> 00:58:19,720 Speaker 2: Tie to the insectarian. No. 1269 00:58:20,440 --> 00:58:23,320 Speaker 1: I told her no, because B is not someone I 1270 00:58:23,360 --> 00:58:25,880 Speaker 1: want in my kid's life. She kept insisting, but I 1271 00:58:25,920 --> 00:58:28,560 Speaker 1: held my ground, and then she called me selfish and 1272 00:58:28,600 --> 00:58:30,840 Speaker 1: said that because of my little bump in the road 1273 00:58:30,880 --> 00:58:33,960 Speaker 1: with B, CPS is not a bump. 1274 00:58:33,720 --> 00:58:35,880 Speaker 2: In the road. Yeah, what she called CPS. 1275 00:58:36,560 --> 00:58:38,400 Speaker 1: My kid was going to miss out on a lot. 1276 00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:41,000 Speaker 1: I said I didn't care, and that people who wish 1277 00:58:41,040 --> 00:58:43,480 Speaker 1: I was gone are not welcome in my life or 1278 00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:45,840 Speaker 1: my kid's life until she's old enough to make her 1279 00:58:45,840 --> 00:58:46,520 Speaker 1: own decisions. 1280 00:58:46,680 --> 00:58:47,080 Speaker 2: Agreed. 1281 00:58:47,720 --> 00:58:50,360 Speaker 1: My boyfriend and Bee's dad agreed that I'm not being 1282 00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:53,440 Speaker 1: selfish by keeping my kid home, But my sister sided 1283 00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:56,400 Speaker 1: with my mom and said that grown up problems shouldn't 1284 00:58:56,440 --> 00:58:58,800 Speaker 1: impact kids and that I'm ruining. 1285 00:58:58,440 --> 00:58:59,640 Speaker 2: It by being spiteful. 1286 00:58:59,640 --> 00:59:02,160 Speaker 1: You're her sister and your mom are crazy, and I'm 1287 00:59:02,160 --> 00:59:03,600 Speaker 1: also not talking to them anymore. 1288 00:59:03,920 --> 00:59:06,080 Speaker 2: I just like don't understand where all of this, Like, 1289 00:59:06,200 --> 00:59:09,120 Speaker 2: what was the event that happened that makes them think 1290 00:59:09,200 --> 00:59:12,680 Speaker 2: like she's neglecting your child and being you know, wrongful. 1291 00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:15,360 Speaker 1: I don't know some way, but I don't trust sister 1292 00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:17,960 Speaker 1: and mom because we already know that they are the 1293 00:59:18,040 --> 00:59:20,680 Speaker 1: source of whatever B thinks it is going on. 1294 00:59:21,160 --> 00:59:23,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, because she doesn't talk to either the mom or B, 1295 00:59:23,440 --> 00:59:25,880 Speaker 2: so like, what is her family telling these people? 1296 00:59:26,360 --> 00:59:28,800 Speaker 1: I can understand her opinion, but I feel like Bee 1297 00:59:28,840 --> 00:59:29,720 Speaker 1: really went too far? 1298 00:59:29,920 --> 00:59:32,520 Speaker 2: Am I the a hole? We've got an update? Put 1299 00:59:32,600 --> 00:59:33,960 Speaker 2: in what world? 1300 00:59:34,280 --> 00:59:37,240 Speaker 1: Girl? She called CPS on you? 1301 00:59:38,040 --> 00:59:41,560 Speaker 2: That's unforgivable. Yeah, like you were trying to get my 1302 00:59:41,680 --> 00:59:45,000 Speaker 2: child taken away from me because of what something that 1303 00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:47,720 Speaker 2: like somebody told you. Why don't you come to me 1304 00:59:47,800 --> 00:59:49,480 Speaker 2: and ask why don't you try to be a part 1305 00:59:49,520 --> 00:59:50,400 Speaker 2: of my life? 1306 00:59:51,560 --> 00:59:54,640 Speaker 1: Bibby, You're never coming around here. You're never coming around 1307 00:59:54,680 --> 00:59:58,200 Speaker 1: these parts no more? Shoot Scraham, get. 1308 00:59:57,960 --> 01:00:01,400 Speaker 2: Out of here. Get I had an update be gone? 1309 01:00:01,960 --> 01:00:10,240 Speaker 2: Ooh that was it? Be gone? 1310 01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:13,480 Speaker 1: I have a not so little update. Things really hit 1311 01:00:13,520 --> 01:00:15,840 Speaker 1: the fan these past few days, so I wasn't able 1312 01:00:15,840 --> 01:00:19,200 Speaker 1: to update sooner. My sister came over to my place 1313 01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:21,680 Speaker 1: after she finished work because she had talked to some 1314 01:00:21,720 --> 01:00:25,440 Speaker 1: coworkers about this situation and they implied she should have 1315 01:00:25,480 --> 01:00:28,120 Speaker 1: been on my side, so she wanted to talk more 1316 01:00:28,120 --> 01:00:31,080 Speaker 1: about it. While my sister was there, I started receiving 1317 01:00:31,120 --> 01:00:34,800 Speaker 1: messages from relatives and some of my mom's friends. My 1318 01:00:34,840 --> 01:00:37,480 Speaker 1: mom had posted a picture of her and be at 1319 01:00:37,480 --> 01:00:40,960 Speaker 1: the insectarium with the caption I had a wonderful day, 1320 01:00:41,520 --> 01:00:43,560 Speaker 1: but it would have been even more wonderful if op 1321 01:00:43,600 --> 01:00:45,320 Speaker 1: he would have let daughter come with us? 1322 01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:48,560 Speaker 3: Wow? Why then I would have replied with a screenshot 1323 01:00:48,600 --> 01:00:49,400 Speaker 3: of what she told me. 1324 01:00:49,640 --> 01:00:51,440 Speaker 1: And then no, no, And then I text back and 1325 01:00:51,480 --> 01:00:54,960 Speaker 1: I say, yeah, it was tough since CPS took my 1326 01:00:55,040 --> 01:00:59,200 Speaker 1: daughter away. Oh no, no, sorry they didn't because I'm 1327 01:00:59,400 --> 01:01:01,280 Speaker 1: a good mom. 1328 01:01:01,360 --> 01:01:04,160 Speaker 2: That's crazy to post and be like, yeah, I had 1329 01:01:04,160 --> 01:01:06,920 Speaker 2: a wonderful time, but would have been better if my 1330 01:01:07,360 --> 01:01:10,080 Speaker 2: bee of a daughter would have let me see my granddaughter, 1331 01:01:10,120 --> 01:01:11,880 Speaker 2: even though I'd be talk and crap on her for 1332 01:01:11,880 --> 01:01:15,320 Speaker 2: the last year. Yeah, And then I just I just respond, 1333 01:01:15,400 --> 01:01:17,040 Speaker 2: shouldn't have called CPS on me? Then? 1334 01:01:17,280 --> 01:01:20,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, since they didn't have the full story, they were 1335 01:01:20,280 --> 01:01:22,960 Speaker 1: mainly asking me why I kept my kid from my mom. 1336 01:01:23,560 --> 01:01:25,640 Speaker 1: I called my mom to ask her to either delete 1337 01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:27,800 Speaker 1: the picture or remove the last part of the caption 1338 01:01:27,920 --> 01:01:30,960 Speaker 1: because she was starting drama for nothing. She was obviously 1339 01:01:31,040 --> 01:01:34,720 Speaker 1: upset and was starting to argue, and at some point 1340 01:01:34,760 --> 01:01:36,960 Speaker 1: I asked her something, you guys have made me wonder 1341 01:01:37,440 --> 01:01:41,280 Speaker 1: why aren't you on my side, Why despite what B said, 1342 01:01:41,400 --> 01:01:44,200 Speaker 1: are you still hanging out with her and never tried 1343 01:01:44,240 --> 01:01:47,880 Speaker 1: to defend me. I'm still speechless from what she said. 1344 01:01:48,360 --> 01:01:51,200 Speaker 1: She said because B is like the daughter I always 1345 01:01:51,320 --> 01:01:52,240 Speaker 1: wished I had. 1346 01:01:52,840 --> 01:01:57,080 Speaker 2: Wow, well keep her cause you're not my mom anymore. 1347 01:01:57,720 --> 01:02:01,160 Speaker 2: What I respond, I'd be like, you know what, that's 1348 01:02:01,240 --> 01:02:03,760 Speaker 2: actually all I needed to hear. Have fun with her, 1349 01:02:04,080 --> 01:02:08,120 Speaker 2: don't ever contact me again? Yes, exactly. Bye. Yeah, i'd 1350 01:02:08,120 --> 01:02:11,440 Speaker 2: be I'd be like, cool and keep her. I'll just 1351 01:02:11,480 --> 01:02:13,200 Speaker 2: get out of your hair then, Yeah, if that's what 1352 01:02:13,200 --> 01:02:17,480 Speaker 2: you want, like, my God, put it on me. That's 1353 01:02:17,560 --> 01:02:21,320 Speaker 2: just that's crazy and it's so disrespectful to say, like, 1354 01:02:21,360 --> 01:02:24,640 Speaker 2: how dare you say that to your your kid daughter? Also, 1355 01:02:25,280 --> 01:02:27,280 Speaker 2: to say be is like the daughter I always wish 1356 01:02:27,400 --> 01:02:31,520 Speaker 2: I had. You have two daughters? Yeah, so crazy. I 1357 01:02:31,560 --> 01:02:33,160 Speaker 2: wish I had two of them. I wish I had 1358 01:02:33,200 --> 01:02:35,000 Speaker 2: two bees. 1359 01:02:36,960 --> 01:02:39,800 Speaker 1: Bee is quite successful. She has a good paying job, 1360 01:02:39,880 --> 01:02:43,280 Speaker 1: a pretty house, a nice car, was well established before 1361 01:02:43,320 --> 01:02:46,600 Speaker 1: she had a baby, and recently got engaged. My sister 1362 01:02:46,640 --> 01:02:48,640 Speaker 1: and I, on the other hand, have struggled to get 1363 01:02:48,680 --> 01:02:51,640 Speaker 1: where we are and it's not good enough for my mom. 1364 01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:55,000 Speaker 1: My sister heard the whole thing and started bawling her 1365 01:02:55,120 --> 01:02:58,000 Speaker 1: eyes out. I know she's always tried to make my 1366 01:02:58,120 --> 01:03:00,880 Speaker 1: mom proud of her, but I think what she said 1367 01:03:01,080 --> 01:03:04,120 Speaker 1: just broke her. My sister is currently staying at my 1368 01:03:04,200 --> 01:03:06,600 Speaker 1: place until she can secure a stable place to live 1369 01:03:06,840 --> 01:03:09,400 Speaker 1: since she was still living with my mom, and we 1370 01:03:09,480 --> 01:03:12,160 Speaker 1: spent the past few days moving her stuff while my 1371 01:03:12,240 --> 01:03:14,760 Speaker 1: mom was at work because she doesn't want to face her. 1372 01:03:15,200 --> 01:03:17,120 Speaker 1: I think I'll take the advice you guys gave me 1373 01:03:17,240 --> 01:03:19,040 Speaker 1: and go no contact with my mom. 1374 01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:21,640 Speaker 2: I don't know what my sister will do, but I 1375 01:03:21,680 --> 01:03:25,479 Speaker 2: think she'll be taking this path too. Wow, nice mother 1376 01:03:25,600 --> 01:03:29,959 Speaker 2: just ruined her daughter's Yes. Way to go, Mom, Yay, 1377 01:03:30,120 --> 01:03:31,760 Speaker 2: one big happy family. Now you don't get to see 1378 01:03:31,760 --> 01:03:35,560 Speaker 2: your grandchild ever again or your daughters. So have a 1379 01:03:35,600 --> 01:03:39,720 Speaker 2: good life with Bee Bye be go be bees together. 1380 01:03:40,200 --> 01:03:41,160 Speaker 2: That's the end, though,