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Speaker 1: Hey, y'all, it's MANDYV. Your host, and welcome back to

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Speaker 1: Selective Ignorance. Today. I've got some extra special lined up

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Speaker 1: for y'all. It's a bonus episode straight from my virtual

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Speaker 1: book club session, diving deep into the pleasure section of

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Speaker 1: my New York Times best selling book, No Holds Barred,

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Speaker 1: a dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power. Now listen,

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Speaker 1: y'all know, I create a selective ignorance because there's just

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Speaker 1: too much we willingly stay blind to. And one of

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Speaker 1: those major blind spots is pleasure education. Especially for us

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Speaker 1: as women, we grow up ignorant because the world around

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Speaker 1: us stays silent or worse, shames us into silence. And

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Speaker 1: don't even get me started on the ignorance that's baked

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Speaker 1: deep into homophobia across Caribbean cultures and African American cultures.

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Speaker 1: And how often that fear of judgment, those whispers keep

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Speaker 1: us from fully embracing the joy, intimacy, and beautiful connections

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Speaker 1: that are right there for us to experience. This conversation

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Speaker 1: is real, raw, It's packed with insight and stories that

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Speaker 1: I genuinely cannot wait for y'all to hear. So get comfy,

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Speaker 1: open your minds, and let's get into this special bonus

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Speaker 1: episode from my virtual book club chat about pleasure relationships

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Speaker 1: and breaking through that ignorance that keeps us holding back.

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Speaker 1: I promise you won't want to miss it. This is

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Speaker 1: another episode of selective ignorance. All right, So this is

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Speaker 1: the first of four of the book club No Holds Barred,

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Speaker 1: a dual manifesto, a sexual exploration and power. I'm your girl,

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Speaker 1: Mandy B. And we are going over my chapters and

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Speaker 1: introduction in the book that is now if you're unaware,

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Speaker 1: a New York Times bestseller from air class hand class applause.

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Speaker 1: I just want y'all to know, like that means the world,

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Speaker 1: because baby out. I don't think anyone thought we could

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Speaker 1: do it, including myself. I'll be honest. I just didn't know.

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Speaker 1: And when it happened, that was probably my first time

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Speaker 1: in a long time crying tears of joy for an accolade.

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Speaker 1: For those of you who don't know, that sort of

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Speaker 1: title as an author is only given to point zero

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Speaker 1: one percent of all authors with books. It is very

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Speaker 1: hard to get. You cannot buy it, you cannot suck

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Speaker 1: yo dick to it, you cannot date someone to it.

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Speaker 1: You cannot payola it. It is one of those where

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Speaker 1: it don't matter who you know. There's a system that

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Speaker 1: nobody even knows, and somehow we got it. So I'm

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Speaker 1: really excited about that. And so for the next hour,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna be going over all of the sexy parts

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Speaker 1: of my chapters in the pleasure section alone, along with

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Speaker 1: my selectively ignorant parts of my chapters. So I felt

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Speaker 1: it very important and I was not going to write

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Speaker 1: this book if I could not be transparent about holding

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Speaker 1: up a mirror and talking about the things that I

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Speaker 1: went through therapy and had to fight through, had to

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Speaker 1: talk through. So we're going to get into it, and

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Speaker 1: we'll start with the introduction. The introduction that is funny too.

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Speaker 1: So the introduction introduces who I am, my family, dynamics,

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Speaker 1: and backstory, because that's what you're gonna get for this episode.

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to summarize the book. Hopefully if you're

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Speaker 1: listening to this you've already read it. But the introduction

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Speaker 1: about myself, I probably wrote three or four different ways.

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Speaker 1: I did include my family. I thought it was important

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Speaker 1: to share my familial upbringing, my socioeconomic status, and then

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Speaker 1: my delusion of kind of the American dream and thinking

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Speaker 1: if I did everything right, everything would pan out however

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Speaker 1: I wanted it to be. I also talk about not

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Speaker 1: being able to choose my name, not being able to

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Speaker 1: choose the family members, and not being able to choose

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Speaker 1: any of the cards I was dealt, which I think

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Speaker 1: a lot of us we don't get stuff. I could

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Speaker 1: choose it, bitch, if I could have been a NEPO baby,

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Speaker 1: that is what I would today reincarnate myself as. And

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Speaker 1: we're sure maybe some of them work. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: I and so the chapter was important for me to

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Speaker 1: first off share my introduce myself as having a Caribbean

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Speaker 1: background with my dad, and then also sharing the relationship

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Speaker 1: with my mom and my dad because they were two

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Speaker 1: very different things. My mom was a single mom, single parent,

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Speaker 1: and my daddy thought that because he paid child support

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Speaker 1: he was he deserved a Dad of the Year award.

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Speaker 1: And then of course you elevate or you get further

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Speaker 1: into my introduction, and I talk about the influence of

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Speaker 1: pop culture in my life. So seeing that dating was

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Speaker 1: like the flavor of love where you're fighting for attention

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Speaker 1: from probably an ugly man. But if you got money,

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Speaker 1: that's who you want to date, right, And then of

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Speaker 1: course the video vixen era, where the sexier you are,

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Speaker 1: the more of a luxurious life you're able to obtain.

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Speaker 1: And so that was kind of the scope of what

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Speaker 1: introduced me to myself, is what maybe being a woman

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Speaker 1: would be like and kind of the places I wanted

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Speaker 1: to go. JT has their hand raised, and so again,

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Speaker 1: because this is a book club, we're starting here. Any

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Speaker 1: questions you have from the introduction, please ask away, and

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Speaker 1: we're gonna lean into the rest of the chapters. It'll

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Speaker 1: get nasty. I'll give y'all tea all the things, but JT,

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Speaker 1: go ahead, what's your question or comment?

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Speaker 2: I just wanted to say that I actually really enjoyed

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Speaker 2: your intro. I saw myself a lot in your intro.

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Speaker 2: Myself had my first job at fifteen, and I felt

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Speaker 2: like I didn't get that support from my parents, and

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Speaker 2: I wanted to start working as soon as possible to

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Speaker 2: take care of myself. And I really resonated with that

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Speaker 2: in your chapter. And I was just wondering if like

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Speaker 2: kind of going from survival mode at a young age

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Speaker 2: also transferred into your dating relationships and how that molded

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Speaker 2: you as well as far as we talk about men

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Speaker 2: a lot saying, like, you know, they're focused on money,

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Speaker 2: they don't have time to put into like the emotional side.

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Speaker 2: But what about us women that also didn't have that support,

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Speaker 2: and we had to work from a very young age,

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Speaker 2: and maybe we just didn't get that guidance on how

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Speaker 2: to be in a relationship because we were so focused

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Speaker 2: on taking care of ourself and our needs that that

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Speaker 2: was kind of on the back burner. So do you

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Speaker 2: feel like working from such a young age kind of

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Speaker 2: made that more of a priority than the interpersonal dating relationships?

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Speaker 1: I mean absolutely, So I talk about my first job

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Speaker 1: being at Quiznos and being so proud that I learned

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Speaker 1: the sandwiches like so quickly to get my quarter rays.

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Speaker 1: And then honestly, by the time I was in my

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Speaker 1: senior year of high school, mind you, I mean senior

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Speaker 1: in high school taken AP courses, but because I was

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Speaker 1: so ahead, I only had like three or four classes.

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Speaker 1: I had two jobs my senior year, so I worked

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Speaker 1: at Coach and Route twenty one at the premium outlets

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Speaker 1: in Orlando. So to me, yeah, it was always about

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Speaker 1: making money because again my mom didn't have everything to

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Speaker 1: give us what we wanted. My dad was very like

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Speaker 1: again probably a narcissist now that I look back at it,

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Speaker 1: like he would dangle money and he would give it

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Speaker 1: to us sometimes and sometimes no, depending on his mood

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Speaker 1: or his relationship with my mom. For me, though, I

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Speaker 1: think having to have started working by like at fifteen

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Speaker 1: years old, it made me not believe in my mom

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Speaker 1: supporting me, and so I left the house at eighteen,

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Speaker 1: three days after graduation, and so moving to Atlanta thinking

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Speaker 1: I knew everything, having to work, not knowing what it's

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Speaker 1: like to really be an adult, and never having those

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Speaker 1: conversations with my mom to me one hundred percent, kind

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Speaker 1: of led me to getting with the girls to let

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Speaker 1: me know, Oh, bitch, you can get this from men,

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Speaker 1: you can get that, mind you. I hadn't even had

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Speaker 1: a passport at this time, so traveling for me growing

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Speaker 1: up looked like driving to key West or going to

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Speaker 1: Daytona or going to Coco or going to Tampa. We

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Speaker 1: didn't even travel as a family growing up, and so

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Speaker 1: for me, even men being able to put me on

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Speaker 1: a plane, which is why I was like, ooh, you

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Speaker 1: want me to go to Memphis? Never been there Portland,

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Speaker 1: but chall was going to the most awful, boring cities.

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Speaker 1: But it was also just too you know. I know, listen,

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Speaker 1: listen girl, this was me at eighteen. I don't do

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Speaker 1: that now. God turned down a truck of Panama this year.

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Speaker 1: But anyways, I think that having to work at such

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Speaker 1: an early age and being so dependent only on myself,

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Speaker 1: and then once I moved out of out of my house,

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Speaker 1: I remember I slept on the floor in my first

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Speaker 1: apartment for probably like three or four months until I

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Speaker 1: think you guys hear it in a further chapter in progression,

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Speaker 1: I went on a whole trip and ate a whole

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Speaker 1: bunch of wings at Buffalo Wild Wings to be able

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Speaker 1: to afford a fucking bed to sleep on. So like

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Speaker 1: for me, I do agree with having to work early.

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Speaker 1: I think, push me into this only you got yourself mentality,

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Speaker 1: And I think to this day I'm still very much

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Speaker 1: in that space, which I think is unhealthy. But I

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Speaker 1: think for anyone who maybe started with a job at fourteen, fifteen, sixteen,

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Speaker 1: I think you can genuinely believe that you saw yourself

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Speaker 1: as an adult at a much earlier age than you

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Speaker 1: should have. You were handling bills at a much earlier

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Speaker 1: age than you should have. And so because I was

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Speaker 1: doing things very much like an adult, bitch, I thought

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Speaker 1: I could fuck some dick like an adult, and so

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Speaker 1: it made me feel like I was much more advanced

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Speaker 1: in a head than I really was mentally and emotionally

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Speaker 1: for sure. And so yeah, that was a great question,

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Speaker 1: and I hope that kind of was able to be

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Speaker 1: reflected in my introduction because I think it's what drew

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Speaker 1: the parallel between Weezy and I. I think even putting

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Speaker 1: it in there that like, you know, I would go

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Speaker 1: to her house with this, you know, manicured lawn and

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Speaker 1: things like that, and I'd never, like, no one in

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Speaker 1: my family lived the way she did. And so I

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Speaker 1: was able to experience just like a two parent household,

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Speaker 1: you know, her having her own bedroom and those siblings

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Speaker 1: like it was completely the opposite of the experience that

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Speaker 1: I had at home across town. So yeah, and so

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Speaker 1: I also just want to add in there as being

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Speaker 1: that I started working so early too. It's why I

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Speaker 1: was like, Okay, I have to have perfect attendance, I

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Speaker 1: have to get the best grades, because if I do

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Speaker 1: all of this, I'm gonna get into college. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: make all the money. I'm gonna find a man with

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Speaker 1: a lot of money to be my husband, and we're

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Speaker 1: gonna have the white pick of fence and American dream.

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Speaker 1: And maybe it didn't happen that way. And I think

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Speaker 1: that also was with me thinking I knew everything. I

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Speaker 1: really didn't have the resources at the time to tell

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Speaker 1: me what college really was.

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Speaker 3: Like.

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Speaker 1: Girl, I got a motherfucking Georgia. They said, bitch, all right,

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Speaker 1: you got about twelve thousand dollars in Sally May. You're

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Speaker 1: out of state. You owe us another twelve thousand, five

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Speaker 1: hundred dollars. And mind you, baby, at eighteen years old,

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Speaker 1: having to come up with twenty four thousand dollars for

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Speaker 1: a goddamn semester wasn't happening like so, I think, actually

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Speaker 1: that's what it was. It was for the year, but

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Speaker 1: it was like twelve five for the year I only

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Speaker 1: got or was whatever it was, I had only half

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Speaker 1: of it in Pale and I was like, bitch, I

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Speaker 1: am sleeping on the floor right now, I have to

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Speaker 1: buy books, and so early on having to work, having

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Speaker 1: to navigate adulthood without really anybody to help navigate me.

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Speaker 1: I think definitely led to, you know, my journey, which

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Speaker 1: we'll get into. So first chapter is how can I

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Speaker 1: expect you to please me if I can't please myself?

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Speaker 1: Now this is interesting because if y'all been listening to

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Speaker 1: horrible decisions, decisions, decisions for some time, y'all go back

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Speaker 1: to the beginning. Bitch. I used to pride myself in

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Speaker 1: these two little fingers. I don't think they were cut

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Speaker 1: short back then, but I used to be like anti toys,

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Speaker 1: anti like a lot of things, just in terms of

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Speaker 1: anything else to help me masturbate, because I was just like,

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Speaker 1: all I need is my porn in my hand and

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Speaker 1: my two little fingers, and I'm going between imagination and visual.

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Speaker 1: I'm good. And so this chapter is one of the

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Speaker 1: chapters that actually was cut the most. So there was

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Speaker 1: an entire portion in here that got cut, and it

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Speaker 1: was around one of my best friends growing up. I

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Speaker 1: talk about how I entered the kindergarten classroom and I

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Speaker 1: stood there ready for my first day of school, and

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Speaker 1: she came in in a little king sinneta dress because

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Speaker 1: you know how, you know how parents used to dress

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Speaker 1: their kids back in the nineties. Man, Why are you

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Speaker 1: dressed like you going to a King Sinata? Anyway, I

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Speaker 1: remember visually she came in the king sinneta dress and

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Speaker 1: was crying, balling her eyes out. Anyways, from there, I

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Speaker 1: was like, girl, you ain't gotta cry. Bitch. We in

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Speaker 1: school now, and we became best friends literally throughout high school,

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Speaker 1: Like we went to school for a few years together.

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Speaker 1: But I actually talk about how after the Teddy Bear,

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Speaker 1: after the shower head in the bathroom, I had got

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Speaker 1: to hunching my friends, and it was just way more

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Speaker 1: of a visual representation of that. And I want to

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Speaker 1: say maybe the editor was like, bitch, we cannot put

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Speaker 1: in here two eight year olds hunching, playing school playing.

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Speaker 1: So that's what we like. There was a whole story.

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Speaker 1: I like visualized her room. I remembered like the wallpaper

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Speaker 1: would it looked like. And there was a conversation about

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Speaker 1: if it was appropriate to put, which is why we

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Speaker 1: ended up putting all those stats. So there was a

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Speaker 1: conversation about if it was appropriate to put that Me

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Speaker 1: and this girl at eight years old were dry humping

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Speaker 1: and scissoring essentially and rubbing our couchies together on her bed,

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Speaker 1: and so I even put one of the instances that

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Speaker 1: we almost got caught where her dad came into the

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Speaker 1: room and we fell to the floor and she acted

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Speaker 1: like we were playing school and I was being I

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Speaker 1: was being in trouble or something like that, and so

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Speaker 1: I narrated this and Weezy. Weezy doesn't share. She shares

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Speaker 1: that she likes a girl down the like on her block.

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Speaker 1: By the way, in the chat, Connie just said, didn't

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Speaker 1: Weezy share something similar though, Yes, But I don't think

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Speaker 1: she went into the graphics of it. I think she

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Speaker 1: expressed that she liked this girl and that she wanted

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Speaker 1: to do things, and that's how she knew she was bisexual.

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Speaker 1: But like girl, I was like, the bed was like this,

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Speaker 1: and her dad walked in, and I guess it was

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Speaker 1: just a lot. So a part of even the stats

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Speaker 1: that you hear in the masturbation chapter were because we

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Speaker 1: had to be like, yo, this is a real thing.

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Speaker 1: Like I don't know how many of you in here

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Speaker 1: right now are parents, but I love to make people uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: If your child is at least ten, they are playing

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Speaker 1: with themselves, they are probably hunching their schoolmates, and you

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Speaker 1: just have to realize that they are figuring themselves out too,

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Speaker 1: and the best thing that you could do is guide

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Speaker 1: them and not make anything feel like what they're doing

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Speaker 1: is wrong. Cause again, everything that I did and every

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Speaker 1: which way I had to figure myself out was in

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Speaker 1: a less desirable way, Like I wish someone told me like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna touch yourself, that's normal, Like you want to

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Speaker 1: make sure it feels good. You want to make sure

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Speaker 1: no one touches you when you don't want to be touched,

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Speaker 1: Like I kind of wish those conversations were had, because essentially,

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Speaker 1: when you get deeper into this chapter, by the time

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Speaker 1: I started fucking, that was the pleasure I had, And

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Speaker 1: that's the only pleasure I really knew, Like, because I

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Speaker 1: didn't know anyone to guide me through masturbation, it was like, well,

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Speaker 1: we're just doing this until we fuck, and then once

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Speaker 1: you fuck, once you have sex, this is the oh

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, It's supposed to be grand opening,

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Speaker 1: like you're experiencing the best thing that you can absolutely experience.

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Speaker 1: And so for my teens into my early twenties, bitch,

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Speaker 1: if I was horny, ain't no masturbation, bit y'all. Thought

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Speaker 1: I was watching point on the BlackBerry, No, I was

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Speaker 1: calling the nigga over. I was like, how do I

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Speaker 1: please myself now that I've had sex? And so I

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Speaker 1: would say between the once my mom knew that I

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Speaker 1: was pregnant, I wish we would have had more conversations

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Speaker 1: about pleasure. Connie, your hand was raised. Do you have

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Speaker 1: anything to add on?

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Speaker 4: I had a question, even though it's teams sucked them kids,

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Speaker 4: how would you approach a conversation with let's just say

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Speaker 4: grade school kids about masturbation and body exploration, because that's

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Speaker 4: truly what it is.

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Speaker 5: Like one day they just rubbed up against that teddy

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Speaker 5: bear and they're like, oh.

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Speaker 1: Bitch and felt and felt the heat. I think there's

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Speaker 1: two conversations that should actually be had. I would say

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Speaker 1: middle school. So middle school is the time that I

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Speaker 1: ain't even gonna hold you. It was the nastiest in

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Speaker 1: middle school. Behind the gym fingering, the boys now just

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Speaker 1: pulling out their dicks playing pockets. I don't know if

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Speaker 1: y'all know the game pockets, where you literally put your

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Speaker 1: hand in a nigga's sweatpants just to feel his dick.

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Speaker 1: Like middle school was insane. They also liked looking titties

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Speaker 1: back then. So for me, the conversation starts in middle school,

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Speaker 1: especially because even if you're a sixth grader, right, that

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Speaker 1: was another part that didn't get added in this book. Either.

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Speaker 1: I was in love with this nigga named Paris, and

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Speaker 1: that's who took my virginity. Bitch. He came over and

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Speaker 1: I braided his hair while my mom was gone, okay, bitch,

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Speaker 1: and that's how I lost my like, So that whole

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Speaker 1: story also, I believe got taken out, but I pretty

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Speaker 1: much narrated how I explored sexually. And for me, middle

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Speaker 1: school was where it was the most like horny, honestly,

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Speaker 1: because maybe everyone's not getting their periods, your breasts are hurting,

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Speaker 1: your breasts are growing, you're getting hips, you're getting thighs,

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Speaker 1: the boys are figuring it out. For me, the conversation

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Speaker 1: looks like a normalizing the fact that you are going

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Speaker 1: to feel desire, be horny, like you may want to

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Speaker 1: watch certain videos, or psychologically you're gonna be interested in

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Speaker 1: things that we know we've told you. You're not supposed

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Speaker 1: to be right because you shouldn't be thinking about sex

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Speaker 1: that young. However, I would a normalize the feelings that

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Speaker 1: just scientifically come about from it. And then I would

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Speaker 1: urge the conversation for someone raising a daughter to talk

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Speaker 1: about boundaries and consent. Luckily, liquor isn't really introduced yet there.

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Speaker 1: So I think if you have a strong grasp on

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Speaker 1: consent and telling a boy no and them not feeling

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Speaker 1: pressured by a boy because they're gonna feel pressured by them,

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Speaker 1: middle school, to me, is probably the best time frame

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Speaker 1: to prepare them for high scho because let's be very clear,

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Speaker 1: by high school, the parents are out of town, they're drinking,

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Speaker 1: they're sneaking drinks, they're going to clubs with fake id's.

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Speaker 1: It just is what it is. And so middle school

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Speaker 1: for me was where I wish I wasn't being told

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Speaker 1: I was fast by my coaches. I wish they were

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Speaker 1: having actual conversations with me, and they weren't. And so

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Speaker 1: to me, that's those are the two conversations I would

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Speaker 1: have around consent boundaries and then around normalizing the feeling

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Speaker 1: of being aroused and turned on. And I just don't

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Speaker 1: think that happens, because still I think parents just want

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Speaker 1: to be like, don't touch a boy, don't fuck, don't

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Speaker 1: do I ah ah. And then It's also the disconnect

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Speaker 1: of parents remembering what they were doing at that age,

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Speaker 1: thinking that telling them this is the way to parent.

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Speaker 1: I think that children have way more access to way

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Speaker 1: more than we did, so I know they're hornier than

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Speaker 1: I was. Kids gotta be hornier now than ever. Bro,

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Speaker 1: you go on Twitter, you go on TikTok, dicks, it's pussies,

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Speaker 1: it's people in polyamorous relationships. So I can only imagine

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Speaker 1: these little middle school boys thinking they can have two girlfriends,

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Speaker 1: like the conversations need to be had. Literally, I would

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Speaker 1: say eleven to fourteen, which is like six to eighth grade.

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Speaker 5: That's the I worked out of junior high for a

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Speaker 5: very long time and some of my and I primarily

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Speaker 5: work with sixth graders, and a lot of those kids

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Speaker 5: still have the mentality of well, especially for like my girls,

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Speaker 5: it would be like, well, this boy's being mean to me,

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Speaker 5: so therefore that must mean he likes me, because that's

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Speaker 5: what everybody, all of my peers are telling me.

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Speaker 1: Right yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 5: So It's like but then you grow up and you think, well,

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Speaker 5: this person's being mean to me, they must really love me.

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Speaker 5: It has a pattern, and I think the fact that

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Speaker 5: there isn't a conversation, or you're dealing with cross generations

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Speaker 5: where especially depending on like what city or where state

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Speaker 5: you're in. Of course I was in California, so it's

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Speaker 5: like you have a big population of Catholic kids coming

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Speaker 5: in where their parents are not talking about sex, they're

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Speaker 5: not talking about sexual health. This little girl thought she

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Speaker 5: was dying when she got her period in fifth grade.

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Speaker 5: She had no idea what was going on in her body.

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Speaker 5: So having these conversations I think at a certain point

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Speaker 5: in elementary school is important because for some kids, especially

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Speaker 5: the more we move on, like a lot of their

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Speaker 5: hormones they're starting to kick in early. So as long

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Speaker 5: as they know these are the things you can expect

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Speaker 5: in the next couple of years, I think that almost

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Speaker 5: like crimes them said, have a bigger conversation when they're

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Speaker 5: in junior high around consent, body, of the autonomy, safety

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Speaker 5: more than anything.

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Speaker 1: I agree. I also want to read Jat's comment in

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Speaker 1: the chat. It's very strange that we go from being

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Speaker 1: fast quote unquote to when are you going to give

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Speaker 1: me grandkids? And never the in between, which I think

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Speaker 1: is very prevalent specifically within our community. Right like it's like,

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Speaker 1: all right, hold out to marriage, but then you get

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Speaker 1: to your twenties, it's like, nope, where the kids at

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Speaker 1: want them? Like whoahoa, whoa that like Hilaire Helaire. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: I do want to end this chapter by saying, once

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Speaker 1: I really got to a place of self pleasure and

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Speaker 1: knowing how to like make myself go to sleep at night,

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Speaker 1: essentially without the melatonin, it really became to where, I

403
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,320
Speaker 1: don't want to call it postnut clarity, but being able

404
00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:47,359
Speaker 1: to please myself allowed me to take a step back

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Speaker 1: from needing to be penetrated or needing to be a

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Speaker 1: vessel for a man to come pleased, because at one

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Speaker 1: point I thought that that was pleasure. So I talk

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Speaker 1: about it a lot. I talk about it at the

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Speaker 1: end of the chapter. There's so many ways that you

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00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:10,480
Speaker 1: can find self pleasure, and now I mean honestly as adults.

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00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:13,440
Speaker 1: It could be just sleeping in and not setting alarm.

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Speaker 1: It could be just wearing something sexy. It could be

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Speaker 1: the way you feel on your breast when they're tender,

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00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:23,280
Speaker 1: because boy minds be tender around the week beforehand. There's

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Speaker 1: so many other ways to just find ways to not

416
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:31,520
Speaker 1: feel the need to be with someone else that I

417
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:33,960
Speaker 1: just wish that was something that I experienced at a

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Speaker 1: younger age. So that's why I wanted to include and

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00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:40,800
Speaker 1: start the book off this way because it's definitely something

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Speaker 1: that I learned. I do. Before we get into the

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Speaker 1: next chapter, kW says, I think the kids coming up

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00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 1: now will be more informed than we were because we

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Speaker 1: are the ones teaching them. Those that were teaching us

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Speaker 1: were taught to feel shame around sex and their vaginas

425
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Speaker 1: as a whole. Yeah, but they still are alive, Like bitch,

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00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:09,560
Speaker 1: we here, but we still have our parents and everyone

427
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:13,359
Speaker 1: raised in that era with podcast mics. We still have

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00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:15,639
Speaker 1: them writing books, we still have them teaching our kids,

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Speaker 1: we still have them running our offices. And so I

430
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:23,840
Speaker 1: do still think that there's a lot to be said.

431
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:29,480
Speaker 1: You guys, weren't a part of it, for anyone, not

432
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:31,920
Speaker 1: a part of the pregame. I share it like, we're

433
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:34,840
Speaker 1: still fighting not only as women, not only as black women.

434
00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:38,480
Speaker 1: But the last thing people want is for sexually liberated

435
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:42,520
Speaker 1: women to have a voice, and I hate that. But

436
00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:48,680
Speaker 1: here we are all right. The next chapter comes from

437
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 1: a story I shared on the pod, and I just

438
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 1: want to give y'all some back tee to how the

439
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:59,920
Speaker 1: story shifted. So the next chapter we're getting into is

440
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:03,119
Speaker 1: did you know you could find unicorns in Mexico? Now,

441
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:08,199
Speaker 1: this whole chapter was written, and I was so excited.

442
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:11,280
Speaker 1: I was like, ooh, yeah, broke up with my nigga,

443
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:14,920
Speaker 1: ended up in Mexico, hollowed that a couple and it

444
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:21,200
Speaker 1: was great, right, And so the chapter initially was about

445
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:27,960
Speaker 1: being alone dealing with the heartbreak of that X. I

446
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:30,160
Speaker 1: think that was breakup number seven or so, I don't

447
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:36,840
Speaker 1: even remember. And the crazy part is the editor tried

448
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:41,720
Speaker 1: to make this chapter around safety because she was like,

449
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:44,800
Speaker 1: what do you mean you stayed with a couple in

450
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 1: a foreign country, Like you weren't scared they were going

451
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:49,719
Speaker 1: to chop you into little pieces? You weren't scared they

452
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:53,080
Speaker 1: weren't going to kidnap you, Like, how do you know

453
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:55,880
Speaker 1: if a couple was safe or not? And the whole

454
00:28:55,880 --> 00:29:00,400
Speaker 1: time I'm reading the notes, it's like, damn, bitch, say

455
00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:03,960
Speaker 1: lifetime ho. Everybody gonna chop you up in a little bit,

456
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:08,720
Speaker 1: mind you single heterosexual men will chop you up into pieces.

457
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:13,520
Speaker 1: So this idea that a couple made her mind, so like,

458
00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 1: whoa you left with a man and a woman. And

459
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:24,640
Speaker 1: so me and Tempest had to talk about what this

460
00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:27,960
Speaker 1: chapter actually entailed. She questioned me, if I spoke to

461
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:32,680
Speaker 1: the couple after and all these things, and mind you again,

462
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:38,160
Speaker 1: I was over not embellishing, but over describing what that

463
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 1: trip was for me, And so me swimming with the

464
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:47,800
Speaker 1: well sharks was kind of where we went back to

465
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:52,280
Speaker 1: because the well sharks was something I always wanted to do,

466
00:29:55,200 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 1: but my friends as niggas, and so they was like, bitch, hey,

467
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:03,000
Speaker 1: nobody gets I would show them pictures, they like, bitch,

468
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:04,240
Speaker 1: why do you want to be in the water with that?

469
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:07,960
Speaker 1: No one wants to do that. So literally, it's something

470
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:09,840
Speaker 1: that I wanted to do when I went to South Africa.

471
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:14,560
Speaker 1: And so when I sat with Tempest about this chapter specifically,

472
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:18,880
Speaker 1: I sat and was like, you know what, if I

473
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:21,400
Speaker 1: was even with my best friend, if I was with

474
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:26,480
Speaker 1: a not so close friend, if I wanted to stay

475
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:29,719
Speaker 1: on the island with that couple, they would have convinced

476
00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:35,160
Speaker 1: me not to. And so the chapter became how much

477
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:42,560
Speaker 1: sometimes our partners are determined by what we think everyone

478
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:46,560
Speaker 1: around us will think. So sometimes it's your parents, sometimes

479
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:49,800
Speaker 1: it's your friends, like I don't know how many of

480
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,440
Speaker 1: y'all even still go back to dealing with an ex

481
00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:56,120
Speaker 1: you know you actually can't tell nobody about because they

482
00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:57,840
Speaker 1: gonna be like, now, bitch, why would you do something

483
00:30:57,920 --> 00:30:59,640
Speaker 1: so stupid? And sometimes you just don't want to hear

484
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:03,600
Speaker 1: that because we're human and I want to be stupid,

485
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:09,520
Speaker 1: so so literally, mind you. In the process of writing

486
00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:15,120
Speaker 1: this book, though I was dogging him on the podcast,

487
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 1: I was very much between emails and still grieving and

488
00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:27,880
Speaker 1: thinking about my ex. So when we first started the book,

489
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 1: my ex was a part of like so many of these,

490
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:33,280
Speaker 1: and I was like, then we break up, and I

491
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:35,920
Speaker 1: had to change the narrative and I go from hating

492
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 1: him to trying to figure out how to remember the

493
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:43,239
Speaker 1: things that I loved that I learned from. And in

494
00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:46,800
Speaker 1: this chapter specifically, I'm like, damn, I was only on

495
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:50,640
Speaker 1: this island because we broke up. I had this experience

496
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:54,800
Speaker 1: because of him, and it was just really difficult processing

497
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:59,280
Speaker 1: that while writing this. But this chapter specifically, I talk

498
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:03,040
Speaker 1: about shooting my shot, and I think I've been saying that.

499
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:07,760
Speaker 1: I don't know how early in the Horrible Decisions Days,

500
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:11,920
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna teach y'all, I'm bringing this to the tour.

501
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:13,840
Speaker 1: This is one of the things I want to bring

502
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:18,640
Speaker 1: to the tour. I don't know why. If you go

503
00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:22,320
Speaker 1: back to the last chapter we just discussed, I say

504
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 1: we should teach girls consent. We should teach boys consent.

505
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:34,400
Speaker 1: Someone in Atlanta's getting locked up. Sorry, But also we

506
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:37,160
Speaker 1: should learn how to create boundaries and say no, right,

507
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:40,600
Speaker 1: and so in terms of shooting your shot, if you're

508
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:43,040
Speaker 1: teaching someone how to say no, there has to be

509
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:46,520
Speaker 1: the same level of attention put to allowing us to

510
00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:51,720
Speaker 1: accept rejection and baby, I don't even want to tell

511
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:54,640
Speaker 1: y'all all the people out of shot my shot at

512
00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 1: and being curved by But it's been a lot. It's

513
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:00,400
Speaker 1: been a lot, like I felt a way time. I

514
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:02,320
Speaker 1: don't even think I ever told this on the podcast.

515
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:06,520
Speaker 1: I remember I was at It was at the Migos.

516
00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 1: Migos was opening for Drake. I'm in Atlanta, and maybe

517
00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:18,480
Speaker 1: I was feeling really gay, y'all. I shot my shot

518
00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:21,239
Speaker 1: at younger May, and I feel embarrassed to say I

519
00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 1: was curved by young and May. But I was curved

520
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,840
Speaker 1: by young and May and I treated her probably because

521
00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 1: she want to be a nigga, and of course I

522
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:32,880
Speaker 1: offered to buy her a drink at the goddamn stadium,

523
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:36,160
Speaker 1: but it was like a okay, bitch, you don't want

524
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:37,680
Speaker 1: to drink, I guess I ain't gonna talk to you.

525
00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:41,040
Speaker 1: And it was just that simple, and I went about

526
00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:43,160
Speaker 1: and enjoyed the concert for the rest of the time.

527
00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 1: And I think for a lot of the times when

528
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:51,840
Speaker 1: we fear approaching somebody, it's because, oh my god, what

529
00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:52,600
Speaker 1: if they don't like me?

530
00:33:55,760 --> 00:33:56,120
Speaker 3: Bitch?

531
00:33:56,680 --> 00:34:02,080
Speaker 1: How many people do you not like? I think that's like, like, mentally,

532
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:04,600
Speaker 1: we have to be in a space where we enjoyed

533
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:08,160
Speaker 1: the nose right, we enjoy or or not even we

534
00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:10,960
Speaker 1: enjoy hating people, but we sit and realize, huh, I

535
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:14,359
Speaker 1: don't really like that person. I don't like I don't

536
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:17,360
Speaker 1: really like his uh I don't like his shoes. I

537
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:19,640
Speaker 1: don't like how he chew his food. Bitch, I might

538
00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:22,920
Speaker 1: not like how you chew your food. So in shooting

539
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:26,920
Speaker 1: your shot, it's all about just accepting that maybe you're

540
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:31,839
Speaker 1: not for that person, and it's okay. I actually experienced

541
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:34,399
Speaker 1: that so much, and I think it's probably why I'm

542
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:37,920
Speaker 1: so confident now. Bitch. I used to be the big friend.

543
00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:43,160
Speaker 1: I was the big friend, and so there was a

544
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:45,600
Speaker 1: lot of times where I wasn't talked to in a group,

545
00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:49,399
Speaker 1: and I think internally I had to be like, oh,

546
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:52,680
Speaker 1: he just likes kinny bitches. That's fine. His loss, because

547
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:54,839
Speaker 1: I knew I still had niggas on my line. And

548
00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:57,719
Speaker 1: so I think a part of even a huge part

549
00:34:57,719 --> 00:35:02,200
Speaker 1: of my confidence in being able to shoot my shot,

550
00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:05,719
Speaker 1: because y'all hear in the book I acknowledge my lack

551
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:08,200
Speaker 1: of confidence in a lot of spaces. I think what

552
00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:13,200
Speaker 1: allowed me to build my confidence to accept rejection was

553
00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:17,280
Speaker 1: realizing that not every everybody is for me, and I'm

554
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:21,840
Speaker 1: not for everybody, and that is life. And it's oh, okay,

555
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:26,000
Speaker 1: how many movies you watch and it ain't for you.

556
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:29,360
Speaker 1: How many movies you see the trailer for and you're like, bitch,

557
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:34,440
Speaker 1: that looks whack. Think of people as trailers and movies.

558
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:38,600
Speaker 1: That's what you are. You're a trailer of a movie.

559
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:41,319
Speaker 1: And maybe you're just not the genre that a man

560
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 1: like or a woman like, and let that be okay.

561
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:49,520
Speaker 1: So this chapter for me was leaning into, hopefully for

562
00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:55,759
Speaker 1: the readers, thinking of all the partners they could have had,

563
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:58,279
Speaker 1: should have had, all the vacations they went on where

564
00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:00,040
Speaker 1: they wanted to say something to someone they thought it

565
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 1: was cute sitting on the train looking across and seeing

566
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:08,759
Speaker 1: someone attractive and not hitting on them all because of

567
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:12,600
Speaker 1: the fear of rejection. And so that chapter for me

568
00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:18,719
Speaker 1: really looked at and really cemented like creating the life

569
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:22,160
Speaker 1: I want to live and whether that's in the bedroom

570
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:26,760
Speaker 1: or out the bedroom, that's kind of how that chapter

571
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:37,280
Speaker 1: ended up shaping up. And so if there's any questions

572
00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:41,280
Speaker 1: about do you know you could find unicorns in Mexico?

573
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:44,840
Speaker 1: Ask now. I am going to leave some time to

574
00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:47,839
Speaker 1: ask questions at the very end too. But y'all know,

575
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:50,440
Speaker 1: y'all helped pick the title for the next chapter in

576
00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:57,760
Speaker 1: the book, and that's the chapter that people just still

577
00:36:57,800 --> 00:37:00,000
Speaker 1: decide to ask me about and want to talk about.

578
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 1: But every time I'm go on a podcast and I'm like, y'all,

579
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:08,760
Speaker 1: calm down, it's just a boodole. So is there any

580
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:12,920
Speaker 1: stories of anything? By the way, Haley in the comment says,

581
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:15,640
Speaker 1: not a question. But reading this with my husband has

582
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:19,799
Speaker 1: opened us up so many convos. There we go love

583
00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:22,000
Speaker 1: that you said that Brittany has her hand raised Before

584
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:27,600
Speaker 1: I get to Brittany Essence Festival. I'm talking to Candy

585
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:32,919
Speaker 1: about this specific chapter. Now we know Candy has taken

586
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:37,760
Speaker 1: a dungeon on tour, Candy has sex toys, Candy brought

587
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:42,040
Speaker 1: Bolo to the screen. Okay, I'm sitting here telling her

588
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:44,359
Speaker 1: about this specific chapter in the book, because of course

589
00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:49,160
Speaker 1: she asked what it's about, and her jaw is to

590
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:53,239
Speaker 1: the floor. And so I'm explaining to her my time

591
00:37:53,239 --> 00:37:56,359
Speaker 1: in Mexico and what happened and how I walked up

592
00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:59,120
Speaker 1: with the tequila shots and how I stayed with them

593
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:02,759
Speaker 1: for the weekend and how it's so great. And I

594
00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:06,680
Speaker 1: was like, oh, not me, feeling a little judge Candy,

595
00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:09,719
Speaker 1: Oh wait, how is your jaw to the floor. And

596
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:14,360
Speaker 1: it was so interesting because I shared this perspective from

597
00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:18,239
Speaker 1: a girl that literally kind of shot her shot at

598
00:38:18,239 --> 00:38:23,080
Speaker 1: a couple, and so her hearing me tell it, I

599
00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:25,719
Speaker 1: didn't realize I was talking to the other person. So

600
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:28,160
Speaker 1: she was like, as you're telling me you did this.

601
00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:31,800
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of how me and Todd would respond,

602
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:34,960
Speaker 1: like what if that happen to us on a vacation,

603
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:39,279
Speaker 1: how do we like make them feel safe enough to where,

604
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,640
Speaker 1: you know, like and she was like, oh damn, I like,

605
00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:45,480
Speaker 1: I don't think we ever got hit on like that.

606
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:48,880
Speaker 1: So it was interesting to hear her kind of like

607
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:52,280
Speaker 1: try to figure out in real time, like oh bitch,

608
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:56,080
Speaker 1: we would be the couple. And so it was really

609
00:38:56,120 --> 00:39:00,560
Speaker 1: really dope talking to someone who's in a in a

610
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:03,600
Speaker 1: marriage who I find to be this sexually liberated woman

611
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:09,560
Speaker 1: who was like, ooh oh shit. But how Brittany, do

612
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:10,200
Speaker 1: you have a question?

613
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:15,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was gonna ask, would you ever revisit possibly

614
00:39:15,719 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 3: becoming a unicorn for a couple?

615
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:17,720
Speaker 1: Gangscuse?

616
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:19,919
Speaker 3: I know it the black guy and the Asian lady

617
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:21,520
Speaker 3: kind of didn't end well?

618
00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:22,919
Speaker 1: Would you ever?

619
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:25,640
Speaker 3: Because in the chapter the way you wrote it, you

620
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:30,040
Speaker 3: can tell like you really enjoyed yourself like that dynamic

621
00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:31,920
Speaker 3: really like did some day for you?

622
00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:35,359
Speaker 1: So that's my question, do you know what's crazy and

623
00:39:35,719 --> 00:39:40,480
Speaker 1: actually dating a couple last year and getting into the

624
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:45,080
Speaker 1: actual conversations about meeting family and friends and titles y'all.

625
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:48,759
Speaker 1: I don't know if y'all remember if you're listening, she

626
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:51,640
Speaker 1: didn't want me to have the girlfriend's title. She just wanted,

627
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:54,160
Speaker 1: you know, something else, And so for me, I think

628
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:58,080
Speaker 1: why this experience also was so great was because it

629
00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:01,720
Speaker 1: just left all of the actual parts of a relationship

630
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 1: out of it. We literally just got to enjoy each other.

631
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:08,200
Speaker 1: We didn't talk about who paying rent, who's splitting bills,

632
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:13,120
Speaker 1: who's like who, what's the hierarchy of this, what dynamic

633
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:18,319
Speaker 1: of Polly, what are the boundaries of other people? And

634
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:23,000
Speaker 1: it was just like a beautiful experience with other people.

635
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:27,640
Speaker 1: And so I think what I realized is I don't

636
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:31,400
Speaker 1: mind joining a couple sexually, but I think it goes

637
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:34,239
Speaker 1: back to how I feel about dealing with women sexually.

638
00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:37,680
Speaker 1: I think it's a good moment. I would love to

639
00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:40,920
Speaker 1: be flown out to Fiji and fuck any millionaire in

640
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:46,000
Speaker 1: his wife. Sure, let's do it, or any or any wife,

641
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:51,759
Speaker 1: any millionaire and her husband, because there's millionaire women out

642
00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:54,400
Speaker 1: there with men that ain't got the money they got. Like,

643
00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:58,799
Speaker 1: I'm down to enjoy two people that are dope to

644
00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:02,600
Speaker 1: be around, that are sexy, that have the chemistry with me.

645
00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:09,319
Speaker 1: But I think navigating the psychological and emotional obstacles of

646
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:14,480
Speaker 1: human beings and having experienced that last year, more power

647
00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:17,160
Speaker 1: to the people able to do that I didn't have.

648
00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:20,160
Speaker 1: It was a lot for me. So Brittany to answer

649
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:23,560
Speaker 1: your question, I would do it in the same way

650
00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:25,400
Speaker 1: as in the book. Again, I would love to be

651
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:28,600
Speaker 1: with a couple for an all expense paid trip on

652
00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:32,799
Speaker 1: an island somewhere, But I don't think that I would

653
00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:41,080
Speaker 1: want to actually be a long standing unicorn. So yeah, okay,

654
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:47,440
Speaker 1: we got twenty minutes left. The last chapter in Pleasure

655
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:52,879
Speaker 1: comes from a saying that was said when our good

656
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:56,759
Speaker 1: friend Vinnie joined us on the pod, and it's can

657
00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:59,520
Speaker 1: I put it back there? I don't know if y'all

658
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:04,959
Speaker 1: remember that episode, but that was my very elementary way

659
00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:08,799
Speaker 1: of asking if I could put a finger, a tongue,

660
00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:12,160
Speaker 1: or a strap in a man's ass. They asked, how

661
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:13,840
Speaker 1: do you get there? And it's just say, can I

662
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:18,840
Speaker 1: put it back there? And so this chapter for me

663
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:23,160
Speaker 1: was important to do in a chronological sense. I thought

664
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:26,360
Speaker 1: it was important to share and dig more into my

665
00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:32,600
Speaker 1: Caribbean background because of the homophobic roots of the Caribbean.

666
00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:36,080
Speaker 1: I also thought it to be very important to share

667
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:40,520
Speaker 1: my early on days being in Atlanta because moving to

668
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:44,839
Speaker 1: Atlanta was the very first time that a man even

669
00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:50,040
Speaker 1: asked to put it in my butt, and I was confused, bitch, Oh,

670
00:42:50,760 --> 00:42:52,840
Speaker 1: there's a whole another whole airphone. What you want to

671
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:55,600
Speaker 1: put it on my ass, foll And so starting the

672
00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:58,839
Speaker 1: chapter off with that, and again I don't know if

673
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:01,719
Speaker 1: you guys picked up on it. It was very big

674
00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:04,520
Speaker 1: for me to include elements of pop culture a little

675
00:43:04,520 --> 00:43:07,120
Speaker 1: bit throughout all of my chapters. So I brought up

676
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:11,920
Speaker 1: Bouju Banten's Boom Bye Bye Bye Tea Boy and Da

677
00:43:12,719 --> 00:43:14,759
Speaker 1: and how I used to literally fucking wind my little

678
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:16,920
Speaker 1: hips to that goddamn song, and it's talking about killing

679
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:23,640
Speaker 1: gay men. And so for me, having grown up with

680
00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:25,759
Speaker 1: a cousin who had to leave Jamaica and come back

681
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:29,319
Speaker 1: to the States and having to also not have the

682
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:35,200
Speaker 1: freedom of seeing anyone lived their lives gay and free,

683
00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:38,080
Speaker 1: I didn't put it in there. But outside of my

684
00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:44,120
Speaker 1: gay cousin, my mom had one gay friend and he

685
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:47,800
Speaker 1: died very early on of AIDS. So that was literally

686
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:53,800
Speaker 1: all I knew of of lgbt Q. I A plus

687
00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:56,880
Speaker 1: ah ah like I didn't know anyone to really be lesbian.

688
00:43:57,640 --> 00:44:00,279
Speaker 1: I didn't know any like outside of my cousin who

689
00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:04,760
Speaker 1: was gay. We also never saw or met a partner

690
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:10,520
Speaker 1: ever at b so it just wasn't introduced to my upbringing,

691
00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:13,560
Speaker 1: which I know is what led to a lot of

692
00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:17,040
Speaker 1: the ignorance I had around anal sex growing up. Also,

693
00:44:17,719 --> 00:44:23,399
Speaker 1: because many of us are millennials, who was out here saying, yeah,

694
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:25,240
Speaker 1: put a big old dick in your butt. The butt

695
00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:28,720
Speaker 1: was even like tighter than the coachy and we all

696
00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:33,000
Speaker 1: even watching fucking loving basketball and all these movies they

697
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:35,200
Speaker 1: said you was gonna bleed when you lost your virginity.

698
00:44:35,239 --> 00:44:38,920
Speaker 1: You was popping your cherry. Like nothing about even popping

699
00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:41,000
Speaker 1: your cherry made it seem like it wasn't gonna hurt

700
00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:45,719
Speaker 1: let alone putting it in yo shooter that shot shit,

701
00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:49,920
Speaker 1: like nothing about it made sense. I couldn't make it

702
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:51,719
Speaker 1: make sense with any of my homegirls. None of my

703
00:44:51,760 --> 00:44:54,200
Speaker 1: homegirls was like, yeah, girl, put it in an ass.

704
00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:56,360
Speaker 1: Do you know in twenty twenty five, we were just

705
00:44:56,360 --> 00:45:00,040
Speaker 1: getting comfortable using lube. Do you think a nigga that

706
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:02,160
Speaker 1: would have shamed us for our boot holes being dry?

707
00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:03,720
Speaker 1: Like what you want us to do?

708
00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:05,440
Speaker 6: Like?

709
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:11,600
Speaker 1: So for me, it was really important for this, I know,

710
00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:16,080
Speaker 1: Connie you asked earlier, like even conversations, I would hope

711
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:18,920
Speaker 1: teenagers are not having anal sex, because boy, does it

712
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 1: take a man who actually knows what they're doing to

713
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:25,120
Speaker 1: make it feel pleasurable. But for me, even just the

714
00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:29,680
Speaker 1: normalization of LOUB I think is important expressing to women too,

715
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:33,440
Speaker 1: that we don't just have one hole. I think it

716
00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:36,959
Speaker 1: should be that men have one hole, women have three,

717
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:40,800
Speaker 1: or men have two holes, women have three. The mouth

718
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:46,279
Speaker 1: of a hole then, like anatomically, let's prepare for what

719
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:48,919
Speaker 1: actually happens with all parts of the body. Now, whether

720
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:51,560
Speaker 1: you like it or not, it's something different, but for

721
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:54,640
Speaker 1: women anal sex. For me growing up, it was never

722
00:45:54,760 --> 00:45:57,440
Speaker 1: taught that that was something that we should be even enjoying.

723
00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:03,919
Speaker 1: And so this chapter I go through with finally having

724
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:08,640
Speaker 1: antal sex, it not being very pleasurable, me trying again.

725
00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:11,880
Speaker 1: I dusted myself off and tried again, like Elijah said,

726
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:17,239
Speaker 1: and then it eventually like, okay, this kind of feels good.

727
00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:21,560
Speaker 1: And then I lean into what porn does to your brain.

728
00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:26,520
Speaker 1: It eventually will make you want to try those things.

729
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:32,680
Speaker 1: And for me, being somehow curious and too gay, porn

730
00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:38,200
Speaker 1: allowed me to see men in that way that maybe

731
00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:41,400
Speaker 1: other men's semen. I found a man's ass to be beautiful,

732
00:46:42,080 --> 00:46:45,200
Speaker 1: like a little chocolate starfish, y'all. I was like that

733
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:48,640
Speaker 1: thing ain't goinda cute, make a wink. And so because

734
00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:52,560
Speaker 1: I was also able to visually see men receive pleasure

735
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:58,880
Speaker 1: this way, I wanted to please a man in ways

736
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:02,600
Speaker 1: that probably he is often especially by women, but clearly

737
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:05,920
Speaker 1: there's something enjoyable. And so then that led into me

738
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:12,799
Speaker 1: going into the stories around pegging. It's also crazy because

739
00:47:12,880 --> 00:47:15,920
Speaker 1: going back to my first antal orgasm, that story I

740
00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:18,800
Speaker 1: did tell on the podcast, and that was with twenty

741
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:22,000
Speaker 1: four to seven. So I think that might be actually

742
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:25,320
Speaker 1: the only story of twenty four to seven in this book,

743
00:47:27,360 --> 00:47:29,759
Speaker 1: which is crazy because that nigga took up hell of

744
00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:33,640
Speaker 1: real estate on the podcast. I don't even think Lawyer

745
00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:35,799
Speaker 1: Bay is in here, fell and Baying in here when

746
00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:38,160
Speaker 1: I think of it. This book is really about my

747
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:41,279
Speaker 1: relationship with myself because very few niggas made it in

748
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:43,759
Speaker 1: here that should have made it in here. And I

749
00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:46,520
Speaker 1: don't know if y'all noticed that, but it was like,

750
00:47:47,960 --> 00:47:52,000
Speaker 1: niggas ainight main characters in my story, y'all. It's kind

751
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:55,240
Speaker 1: of like I had this one time at band camp.

752
00:47:55,600 --> 00:47:59,719
Speaker 1: That's how I treated the niggas in this in this book. Honestly,

753
00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:05,319
Speaker 1: it really wasn't where they were my main characters, and

754
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:09,759
Speaker 1: that was important to me but also made me realize,

755
00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:13,120
Speaker 1: but you really like the ability to have romantic relationships.

756
00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:15,320
Speaker 1: I'm dealing with it in therapy. Y'all dealing with it

757
00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:20,840
Speaker 1: in therapy. But yeah, I loved that my chapters leaned

758
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:24,240
Speaker 1: more into the journey of my mind and my body

759
00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:30,279
Speaker 1: and the things that I learned along the way, because

760
00:48:30,280 --> 00:48:32,400
Speaker 1: it wasn't really about any of the relationships I had

761
00:48:32,440 --> 00:48:34,960
Speaker 1: with people as much as it was like, damn, bitch,

762
00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:38,640
Speaker 1: this happened, and now you have to learn from it,

763
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:42,719
Speaker 1: or now what are you gonna take from this? And

764
00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:47,839
Speaker 1: so yeah, I'm just really glad that I was able

765
00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:53,080
Speaker 1: to hopefully showcase that Hailey said, this book is half

766
00:48:53,080 --> 00:48:55,120
Speaker 1: the link I expected. Y'all have so much more to say.

767
00:48:55,120 --> 00:48:59,799
Speaker 1: We need another book. So, Hailey, our deal was for

768
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:05,600
Speaker 1: or I think sixty five to seventy five thousand words.

769
00:49:06,480 --> 00:49:10,480
Speaker 1: Our first submission of this book was ninety thousand, so

770
00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:14,440
Speaker 1: if you could think about that, we definitely cut about

771
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:20,520
Speaker 1: fifteen to twenty thousand words from the book. So where

772
00:49:20,560 --> 00:49:24,480
Speaker 1: earlier I talked about describing my relationship with my first friend,

773
00:49:26,400 --> 00:49:30,680
Speaker 1: and again I had a lot more details and stories

774
00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:33,120
Speaker 1: that I included the guy Paris that I lost my

775
00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:35,959
Speaker 1: virginity to after I braided his hair while my mom

776
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:39,560
Speaker 1: was at work. Like, there was just so many deeper

777
00:49:39,600 --> 00:49:44,560
Speaker 1: details that I included that essentially just got cut out.

778
00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:50,200
Speaker 1: And Connie wrote, having written a twenty thousand word essay,

779
00:49:50,719 --> 00:49:56,759
Speaker 1: that's a lot. Yeah, that's probably like another I mean,

780
00:49:56,800 --> 00:50:00,880
Speaker 1: our book. I would say that's probably another fifty plus

781
00:50:00,880 --> 00:50:05,640
Speaker 1: pages or so. So it was a lot cut out.

782
00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:10,200
Speaker 1: And so imagine how difficult it was as people sharing

783
00:50:10,239 --> 00:50:15,040
Speaker 1: their stories to make it fully drawn out, also wanting

784
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:21,680
Speaker 1: to share because because the book does not have our faces,

785
00:50:22,320 --> 00:50:25,000
Speaker 1: because we wanted this to be something that could resonate.

786
00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:29,840
Speaker 1: The editor was very very I don't want to say strict,

787
00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:32,440
Speaker 1: but because I think it led to being a great book,

788
00:50:33,400 --> 00:50:37,040
Speaker 1: but was very adamant that we had to be speaking

789
00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:40,320
Speaker 1: to the reader. So when you see the moments where

790
00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:44,040
Speaker 1: we break from our story and say, if you're thinking

791
00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:46,799
Speaker 1: what you should do, or here's what you can do.

792
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:50,040
Speaker 1: A part of this becoming a self help book was

793
00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:53,680
Speaker 1: to also include a guide. So between cutting parts of

794
00:50:53,719 --> 00:50:56,480
Speaker 1: our story out, we also had to pretty much speak

795
00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:58,920
Speaker 1: to you guys, as readers or listeners of the book

796
00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:03,240
Speaker 1: because maybe not everyone gives a fuck about a Mandy

797
00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:05,640
Speaker 1: or a Weezy story because who are you bitches? Right,

798
00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:07,840
Speaker 1: So we also had to find ways to tie in

799
00:51:07,880 --> 00:51:11,200
Speaker 1: the reader who may not know us and give them

800
00:51:11,480 --> 00:51:14,600
Speaker 1: power and tips and guides to do the things where

801
00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:16,799
Speaker 1: y'all may be like, bitches Vanilla that you fucked a

802
00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:21,280
Speaker 1: couple in Mexico. A lot of people would think otherwise,

803
00:51:22,560 --> 00:51:25,759
Speaker 1: me betting a man over, so me saying blue Blue

804
00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:28,400
Speaker 1: Blue would be like, oh, that's the first step. Like

805
00:51:28,440 --> 00:51:30,840
Speaker 1: there's still so many of us, And especially because I

806
00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:33,759
Speaker 1: still wanted this to be a book for Black women specifically,

807
00:51:34,320 --> 00:51:36,919
Speaker 1: what I've learned more than anything over the last seven

808
00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:42,360
Speaker 1: to eight months black women conservative is fuck y'all some

809
00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:46,000
Speaker 1: freaks right. Our whore hive is some freak as holes.

810
00:51:46,080 --> 00:51:48,960
Speaker 1: Y'all have made it out, y'all have got free. But

811
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:53,799
Speaker 1: a lot of black women are really, really, really conservative,

812
00:51:53,840 --> 00:51:57,280
Speaker 1: and so we had to be able to be open

813
00:51:57,320 --> 00:52:03,000
Speaker 1: to speaking to them as well. So, yeah, Lee, ask

814
00:52:03,160 --> 00:52:05,319
Speaker 1: any chance that you all could share some of those

815
00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:10,440
Speaker 1: longer adaptations of the chapters. You know what, we have them,

816
00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:14,440
Speaker 1: So let me see if that is something that tempests

817
00:52:15,560 --> 00:52:18,560
Speaker 1: and Weezy would be willing to do, and maybe dropping

818
00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:20,759
Speaker 1: them in like a word doc on the Patreon is

819
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:25,720
Speaker 1: something we could do. But yeah, i'd have to sift

820
00:52:25,719 --> 00:52:27,480
Speaker 1: through it because y'all gonna see some of my not

821
00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:30,719
Speaker 1: so great writing in the beginning too. But here we go.

822
00:52:33,280 --> 00:52:38,160
Speaker 1: We got about five minutes left before Weezy does her

823
00:52:38,239 --> 00:52:41,320
Speaker 1: book club. But I do want to allow the floor

824
00:52:41,320 --> 00:52:47,399
Speaker 1: for any questions from the pleasure chapter sections. Specifically, next

825
00:52:47,400 --> 00:52:51,120
Speaker 1: week we're diving into pain, so trigger warning for next

826
00:52:51,120 --> 00:52:56,240
Speaker 1: week it's abortion, it's sexual assault. It was a lot,

827
00:52:56,880 --> 00:52:59,279
Speaker 1: so next week, if you want to join on, it

828
00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:04,000
Speaker 1: definitely will be a deeper conversation and hopefully I'm able

829
00:53:04,040 --> 00:53:05,640
Speaker 1: to get you guys to share some more of your

830
00:53:05,680 --> 00:53:13,200
Speaker 1: your background and stories. But I'm gonna leave leave it open.

831
00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:16,239
Speaker 1: Lee also said that's so interesting. I never knew was

832
00:53:16,239 --> 00:53:20,920
Speaker 1: based on a word count. Oh yeah, baby, pages cost money.

833
00:53:21,040 --> 00:53:23,640
Speaker 1: They were like, but we paid you for this many pages.

834
00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:30,960
Speaker 1: You can't just get an extra fifty on us. So yeah,

835
00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:34,920
Speaker 1: if no one has any questions, oh there go, Tati,

836
00:53:35,040 --> 00:53:37,200
Speaker 1: you always do this. You wait too, I'll be like, so,

837
00:53:37,239 --> 00:53:38,880
Speaker 1: ain't nobody gonna ask nothing? I don't know why. I

838
00:53:38,840 --> 00:53:40,920
Speaker 1: gotta pull stuff out of y'all. I know, I just

839
00:53:40,920 --> 00:53:42,920
Speaker 1: try to make sure like everyone gets a chance. I

840
00:53:42,960 --> 00:53:46,000
Speaker 1: don't want to anyways. First and foremost, love nickname a

841
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:49,719
Speaker 1: man of the Panda super cute. And then because of

842
00:53:49,800 --> 00:53:53,799
Speaker 1: what we have talked about before, your Atlanta roommate, how

843
00:53:53,880 --> 00:53:59,080
Speaker 1: much more older was she than you? And was she

844
00:53:59,239 --> 00:54:01,880
Speaker 1: the one that you had your first oral experience with?

845
00:54:02,840 --> 00:54:03,000
Speaker 6: No?

846
00:54:03,760 --> 00:54:08,440
Speaker 1: Okay, so my first oral experience with a woman that

847
00:54:08,520 --> 00:54:10,920
Speaker 1: was inappropriate now that I think about it. She was

848
00:54:10,960 --> 00:54:13,759
Speaker 1: like twenty two twenty three. I was sixteen. I had

849
00:54:13,760 --> 00:54:17,840
Speaker 1: a fake ID. We went to the club, but I

850
00:54:17,840 --> 00:54:21,560
Speaker 1: stayed at her house that night, and my first it

851
00:54:21,600 --> 00:54:24,480
Speaker 1: wasn't good. I remember not being good, which might be

852
00:54:24,520 --> 00:54:26,640
Speaker 1: why I hated head for so long. But she was

853
00:54:26,680 --> 00:54:30,120
Speaker 1: like twenty three, but of course had a car, had

854
00:54:30,120 --> 00:54:34,640
Speaker 1: her own place, like you know, And yeah, that was

855
00:54:34,640 --> 00:54:38,560
Speaker 1: my first experience. Did she know I was sixteen? She did,

856
00:54:38,760 --> 00:54:41,400
Speaker 1: but I had a fake ID and I looked grown,

857
00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:46,359
Speaker 1: and yeah, I don't know. I it's weird because that's

858
00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:48,520
Speaker 1: one of those where to this day, I still don't

859
00:54:48,520 --> 00:54:50,560
Speaker 1: feel like I was taking advantage of but maybe because

860
00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:58,640
Speaker 1: I felt grown, So I don't know, honestly, that one

861
00:54:58,680 --> 00:55:03,360
Speaker 1: I've never sat with, It's possible. And then my first

862
00:55:03,440 --> 00:55:07,120
Speaker 1: roommate that I lived with in Atlanta, I was eighteen,

863
00:55:07,719 --> 00:55:10,480
Speaker 1: she was probably twenty two, twenty one, twenty two, so

864
00:55:10,520 --> 00:55:14,160
Speaker 1: she wasn't much older than me, but she was outside

865
00:55:14,200 --> 00:55:17,320
Speaker 1: like she was she was a runner, she did drug

866
00:55:17,560 --> 00:55:20,759
Speaker 1: like she ran drugs for drug dealers, it was. And

867
00:55:20,800 --> 00:55:24,759
Speaker 1: she was just way more advanced than I was. And

868
00:55:24,800 --> 00:55:28,719
Speaker 1: so yeah, that my first roommate being to wear I

869
00:55:28,760 --> 00:55:31,080
Speaker 1: could watch her have sex or she would come in

870
00:55:31,160 --> 00:55:32,839
Speaker 1: and be like, do you want to join us, and

871
00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:38,839
Speaker 1: me just being like sure, okay, I think that that definitely,

872
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:49,000
Speaker 1: like you know, opened that lifestyle up very quickly. Yeah, yeah,

873
00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:55,479
Speaker 1: but yeah, nonetheless, I'm about to get up off of here.

874
00:55:56,920 --> 00:56:00,440
Speaker 1: I hope you guys truly enjoyed the book club. I

875
00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:04,080
Speaker 1: love that you came with questions. And next week again

876
00:56:04,280 --> 00:56:08,480
Speaker 1: we will be talking about pain. So read those chapters

877
00:56:08,520 --> 00:56:10,479
Speaker 1: if you haven't yet, and I'm looking forward to seeing

878
00:56:10,520 --> 00:56:15,960
Speaker 1: you guys. Selective Ignorance a production of the Black Eppect

879
00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:20,520
Speaker 1: podcast Network. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,

880
00:56:20,719 --> 00:56:23,840
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

881
00:56:23,960 --> 00:56:26,279
Speaker 6: Thanks for tuning in the Selective Ignorance of Mandy B.

882
00:56:26,440 --> 00:56:29,440
Speaker 6: Selective Ignorance it's executive produced to Buy Mandy B. And

883
00:56:29,440 --> 00:56:32,840
Speaker 6: it's a Full Court Media studio production with lead producers

884
00:56:32,920 --> 00:56:35,400
Speaker 6: Jason Mondriguez. That's me and Aaron A.

885
00:56:35,600 --> 00:56:36,200
Speaker 1: King Howard.

886
00:56:36,280 --> 00:56:39,279
Speaker 6: Now do us a favor and rate, Subscribe, comment and

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00:56:39,360 --> 00:56:42,439
Speaker 6: share wherever you get your favorite podcasts, and be sure

888
00:56:42,480 --> 00:56:47,160
Speaker 6: to follow Selective Ignorance on Instagram at Selective Underscore Ignorance.

889
00:56:47,200 --> 00:56:49,480
Speaker 6: And of course, if you're not following our hosts Mandy B,

890
00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:52,000
Speaker 6: make sure you're following her at Full Court Pumps.

891
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Speaker 3: Now.

892
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Speaker 6: If you want the full video experience of Selective Ignorance,

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Speaker 6: make sure you subscribe to the Patreon. It's patreon dot

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Speaker 6: com backslash Selective of Ignorance m