1
00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:08,879
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, God damn, it's behind the Bastard's the only

2
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:12,000
Speaker 1: podcast on the internet. If you have ever listened to

3
00:00:12,039 --> 00:00:17,120
Speaker 1: another podcast, No you have not that schizophrenia. Sorry, sorry

4
00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:22,440
Speaker 1: to tell you this way. That's the radio show. This

5
00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:24,680
Speaker 1: is a podcast about the worst people in all of history.

6
00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:27,120
Speaker 1: And to help me talk about a real son of

7
00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:30,120
Speaker 1: a bitch, I have Matt Leeb, one of the best

8
00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:33,280
Speaker 1: people in all of history. That's right. I'm back, maybe

9
00:00:33,479 --> 00:00:36,320
Speaker 1: so happy to be here. I am now a dad.

10
00:00:37,479 --> 00:00:41,520
Speaker 1: I am yes, so your official legal nickname is now

11
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:44,720
Speaker 1: Matt Daddy Leeb. Yeah. So if you just call me

12
00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:50,120
Speaker 1: Daddy on the internet, I'd appreciate it. Um to be back, guys. Um.

13
00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:54,400
Speaker 1: Just a reminder, I am part of the creator of

14
00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:58,080
Speaker 1: the world's only The Wire podcast pod yourself The Wire,

15
00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:02,360
Speaker 1: So listen that. Give us five stars in review and

16
00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:06,080
Speaker 1: you'll enjoy it. Did I do? That's my soundboard. I

17
00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:09,040
Speaker 1: won't do that too much a promise. Goddamn right, Oh

18
00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:13,959
Speaker 1: I forgot, we have a soundboard when you're here. Incredible, incredible,

19
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:20,959
Speaker 1: all the wire drops, Baby's amazing. I was just talking

20
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:25,160
Speaker 1: about McNulty and how I'm outraged that he is Prince

21
00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:28,520
Speaker 1: Charles in the Crown because he's way too handsome, he's

22
00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:33,160
Speaker 1: way too awesome. But I am kind of enjoying watching

23
00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:38,440
Speaker 1: McNulty in his natural accent because I haven't heard him

24
00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:42,160
Speaker 1: do his actual like, oh that's what he's that's what

25
00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:44,920
Speaker 1: he sounds like. He's a British guy. Yeah, And on

26
00:01:44,959 --> 00:01:47,760
Speaker 1: the Wire he's just like, oh god, you just it's

27
00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:50,920
Speaker 1: like sometimes you're like he's crushing it and sometimes he

28
00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:54,960
Speaker 1: is just like way off with the Baltimore accent. So

29
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:59,040
Speaker 1: it's nice to see him being like Prince chewing gLing year.

30
00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:01,880
Speaker 1: You know, that's that's what he's supposed to sound like,

31
00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:05,080
Speaker 1: not you know, speaking of the Wire, which is set

32
00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:09,519
Speaker 1: in Baltimore, Baltimore compared to where we are, not very

33
00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:12,680
Speaker 1: far from the Great Lakes. And you know what today is,

34
00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:15,560
Speaker 1: you know, this week is matt leeb what it is

35
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:20,040
Speaker 1: the forty seventh anniversary of the sinking of the Edmund Fitzgerald,

36
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:23,400
Speaker 1: which took twenty six brave men to their deaths at

37
00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:30,120
Speaker 1: the bottom of the world's primary foe, Lake Superior. Remember

38
00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:33,160
Speaker 1: that there's a song about it. Well, the legend lives

39
00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:38,200
Speaker 1: on from the Chippewa on down, you know exactly. Um,

40
00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:40,560
Speaker 1: and I think, Matt, I don't know if we we've

41
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:43,280
Speaker 1: talked about this, but do you remember in the in

42
00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:45,520
Speaker 1: the in the mid nineteen eighties when the United States

43
00:02:45,639 --> 00:02:50,200
Speaker 1: retired are Titan missile arsenal um. I don't remember that specifically,

44
00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:53,160
Speaker 1: That's not my number one thought about the eighties, but

45
00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:55,959
Speaker 1: sounds like the Titan was the largest I C B

46
00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:59,480
Speaker 1: M ever used or ever deployed. Um. It had a

47
00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:01,720
Speaker 1: nine meg a ton nuclear warhead. It was the most

48
00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:04,600
Speaker 1: single most powerful nuclear weapon in US history. And we

49
00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:06,680
Speaker 1: we got rid of them because number one, they were expensive.

50
00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:08,080
Speaker 1: A number two, a bunch of them wound up an

51
00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:11,800
Speaker 1: accidents that almost killed millions of people in some bullshit. Anyway,

52
00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:16,520
Speaker 1: My my, my proposal, Matt, we build a shipload more Titans,

53
00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:19,280
Speaker 1: and we fire all those sons of bitches off at

54
00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:23,240
Speaker 1: Lake Superior until that's until it's a goddamn canyon, until

55
00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:28,799
Speaker 1: that whole fucking lake is a skate park. That's right, motherfucker.

56
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:32,040
Speaker 1: Come on, you think you're so great, Well, how do

57
00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:36,119
Speaker 1: you like having no water? That's because we boiled it out. Yeah,

58
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:39,160
Speaker 1: we boil it out through the Also, I assume if

59
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:40,840
Speaker 1: we use a nuke to boil all of the water

60
00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:44,760
Speaker 1: out of Lake Superior. The Southwest will get more rain, probably, right.

61
00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:46,800
Speaker 1: That seems like it should solve the problems with the

62
00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:52,080
Speaker 1: Colorado River. We can, it would solve climate change. Yeah,

63
00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:56,720
Speaker 1: it's worth a shot. Right, That's that's why not. That's

64
00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:59,720
Speaker 1: that's gonna be my campaign slogan when I run for presidents.

65
00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:03,960
Speaker 1: Just just in new detonating above Lake Superior. Why not?

66
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,560
Speaker 1: Why not? What do we have to lose? Honestly, if

67
00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:08,720
Speaker 1: the world's ending anyways, we might as well try a

68
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:14,240
Speaker 1: new Lake Superior model of strategy. Listeners, this has absolutely

69
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,200
Speaker 1: nothing to do with what we're talking about. It has

70
00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:19,000
Speaker 1: a little bit to do with what we're talking about today. Sophie,

71
00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:25,200
Speaker 1: please explain how Lake Superior well, Sophie superior by taking

72
00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:28,800
Speaker 1: the name Superior, putting on airs that it's better than

73
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,520
Speaker 1: the rest of us, and you know who else thinks

74
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:35,480
Speaker 1: they're better than the rest of us? Nazis, hereditary nobility.

75
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:38,880
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's true, that's true. What do you know

76
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:45,839
Speaker 1: about Napoleon? Wait? Wait, wait the third Love Love Napoleon,

77
00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:49,160
Speaker 1: the third, the Napoleon, the third, I'm a huge Napoleon

78
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:52,120
Speaker 1: the third. Stam are you are? You are? You I am.

79
00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:56,320
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, maybe I'm not pro Napoleon the Third,

80
00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:59,120
Speaker 1: but I'm a big fan. I like that he's the

81
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:02,800
Speaker 1: actual small all Napoleon. Uh I like it was. He

82
00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:06,000
Speaker 1: was a lot smaller than than Napoleon Bonaparte, who was

83
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:10,040
Speaker 1: slightly above average size for the time regular uh o G.

84
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:13,760
Speaker 1: Napoleon was like a regular guy, like regular size guy,

85
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:17,000
Speaker 1: just with a funny accent. Whereas like Napoleon the Third

86
00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:20,039
Speaker 1: is the one who was actually small, and he's also

87
00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:23,160
Speaker 1: the one who was like, uh, you know, he was

88
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:27,000
Speaker 1: what the first president of of of France and then

89
00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:31,280
Speaker 1: immediately became the the second Emperor of France. Like it's

90
00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:35,039
Speaker 1: he's he's a fascinating guy. He's a fascinating that he

91
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:40,560
Speaker 1: is the his facial hair was huge mess one who

92
00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:44,520
Speaker 1: was facial hair one of the most influential dudes whoever lived.

93
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:47,760
Speaker 1: Most people, including like when I started this, I I

94
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:50,760
Speaker 1: knew some about him. I did not realize how much

95
00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:53,760
Speaker 1: of the modern world was built because of this guy's fumbling,

96
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:58,640
Speaker 1: Like he created modernity mainly through fucking up and not

97
00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:03,240
Speaker 1: thinking it ain't incredible. Um So there's there's two big

98
00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:06,040
Speaker 1: books that I got through for this, one of which

99
00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:09,279
Speaker 1: sucked in, one of which was pretty good. Um, it's

100
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,640
Speaker 1: the case with nobility. The fun thing about writing about

101
00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:16,520
Speaker 1: hereditary European nobility is that basically every second of their

102
00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:20,120
Speaker 1: lives is documented, right Like you're you're never wondering I

103
00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:22,280
Speaker 1: wonder what was happening in their child? Was like, no, man,

104
00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:24,880
Speaker 1: We've got like forty different letters from like people who

105
00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:27,560
Speaker 1: worked in the house, and like, like we know everything

106
00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:31,000
Speaker 1: about their lives. The downside is that we know everything

107
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:33,240
Speaker 1: about their lives. So this is going to be a

108
00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:40,240
Speaker 1: four partner Hell yeah, exciting exciting times here before we

109
00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:42,640
Speaker 1: get into Napoleon, I'm gonna, I'm gonna. I'm gonna just

110
00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:45,120
Speaker 1: give a bunch of bena drill to my baby so

111
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,479
Speaker 1: it sleeps for twelve Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, you know what.

112
00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:49,920
Speaker 1: Let's let's both take some benity. Let's I'll do it.

113
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,360
Speaker 1: Let's I'll take some benadrill and hear noises that aren't

114
00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:55,480
Speaker 1: there as a decide. We were hanging out recently with

115
00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:58,760
Speaker 1: Dr Cavahota of the House of Pod, friend of the show,

116
00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:03,200
Speaker 1: and I showed it was him and another doctor friend

117
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:04,760
Speaker 1: of his who wasn't from out of state and we

118
00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:07,520
Speaker 1: were all drinking together, and I realized they hadn't heard

119
00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:10,760
Speaker 1: about the ben a drill subreddit, where teenagers take insane

120
00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:13,440
Speaker 1: doses of Bena drill in order to hallucinate, and I

121
00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:17,160
Speaker 1: put it up. They were distraught. Was trying to log

122
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:20,000
Speaker 1: in through my friends to my friends read it account

123
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,520
Speaker 1: to post to warrn people to stop doing what they

124
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,640
Speaker 1: was like, no, no, no, cava. They already took the

125
00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:28,720
Speaker 1: six hundred milligrams have been a drill, that they've done

126
00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:32,920
Speaker 1: what they're doing. I'm so sorry, it's too late. Yeah, well,

127
00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,480
Speaker 1: you can't stop this. I didn't know that there was

128
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:38,640
Speaker 1: a subwreddit about it, subreddit about it. I actually that

129
00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:42,520
Speaker 1: was when I was really really into drugs at one point.

130
00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:46,880
Speaker 1: I was just like looking up what kind of adverse

131
00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:49,680
Speaker 1: effects can happen if you take too much of whatever drug?

132
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:52,400
Speaker 1: And there's stuff you want to avoid, obviously, like any

133
00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:57,200
Speaker 1: you know, non steroidal anti inflammatories will really fuck you up,

134
00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:59,520
Speaker 1: but you want to win. You want to avoid most

135
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,880
Speaker 1: of the d rugs that are medicine for something else

136
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:07,400
Speaker 1: unless you take a pile of them. Right, But I

137
00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:10,360
Speaker 1: did read, uh you know back in those days that

138
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:12,680
Speaker 1: uh yeah, if you take a bunch of bena drill,

139
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:17,720
Speaker 1: you'll have auditory hallucinations. And I will a bunch and

140
00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,840
Speaker 1: I played a whole symphony in my head. It was incredible.

141
00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:22,800
Speaker 1: Well you had a good time, okay, Well, well no,

142
00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:25,400
Speaker 1: then my back though, my spine felt like it was

143
00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:28,080
Speaker 1: vibrating out of my body. It was very painful. It

144
00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:33,439
Speaker 1: wasn't fun, and I think I almost died. But music, Yeah,

145
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:38,679
Speaker 1: So you know, speaking of music, there's an overture about Napoleon, right,

146
00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:41,920
Speaker 1: like the eighteen twelve overture. So anyway, let's talk about

147
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:46,199
Speaker 1: Napoleon Bonaparte. One day, we'll do what episodes on Napoleon.

148
00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:49,480
Speaker 1: Obviously he's a fascinating bastard, but we just need to

149
00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:51,480
Speaker 1: go into a little bit of history kind of about

150
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,240
Speaker 1: the later period of his reign because that's where the

151
00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:57,480
Speaker 1: life of Napoleon the Third starts. So in eighteen o eight,

152
00:08:57,679 --> 00:09:00,760
Speaker 1: Napoleon Bonaparte was the Master of Europe. He had been

153
00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:03,680
Speaker 1: born in Corsica, which was on the periphery of French power,

154
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:07,240
Speaker 1: to a fairly minor noble family. Was actually more Italian

155
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,280
Speaker 1: than French, like in the way that we would talk

156
00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:12,120
Speaker 1: about it now. But Italy was not its own thing, right,

157
00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:14,360
Speaker 1: it was kind of being consistently fought over by the

158
00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:17,680
Speaker 1: Austrians and the French. And yeah, yeah, in seventeen eighty nine,

159
00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:21,160
Speaker 1: when we have our ourselves a French revolution. Napoleon Bonaparte

160
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,760
Speaker 1: was a fervent supporter of the revolution. He was a

161
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:26,000
Speaker 1: Republican for a while. I mean that in like the

162
00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:29,920
Speaker 1: literal he supported a republic republic. Yeah, he was a Jacobin,

163
00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:35,480
Speaker 1: or at least he yeah, yeah, yeah. And obviously like

164
00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:37,160
Speaker 1: you could say, like, oh, he was, you know, lying

165
00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:39,040
Speaker 1: the whole time, waiting to get power. But I don't know.

166
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:42,760
Speaker 1: I think people changed their opinion on stuff over time,

167
00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:44,680
Speaker 1: and when I don't know whatever, I don't I don't know.

168
00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:47,760
Speaker 1: I'm not an expert on Napoleon bought apart um, so

169
00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:50,120
Speaker 1: he he did lament the execution of the King and

170
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,600
Speaker 1: Queen of France. But he broadly speaking, thought that the

171
00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:56,959
Speaker 1: republic was a good idea and he served it exceptionally

172
00:09:57,040 --> 00:10:00,240
Speaker 1: well in it as an officer in the middle of Harry,

173
00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:02,360
Speaker 1: despite the fact that he was at one point briefly

174
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:07,000
Speaker 1: imprisoned during the Reign of Terror. Eventually, the post revolutionary

175
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:10,560
Speaker 1: government spoiler proved kind of dysfunctional, partly due to the

176
00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:12,920
Speaker 1: fact that they kept murdering each other and a bunch

177
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:17,079
Speaker 1: of other babele uh and some different factions kept getting

178
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:20,200
Speaker 1: in power and beheading the other facts. And you know,

179
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:23,000
Speaker 1: there's a shiploadle wars, which is how Napoleon Bonaparte winds

180
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:26,200
Speaker 1: up fighting in Egypt, which you might recognize. This pretty

181
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:31,280
Speaker 1: fucking far from France. They had to get him before

182
00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:35,080
Speaker 1: the British got it. I understand the entire you know,

183
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:37,480
Speaker 1: like why they did it, because they're like, no, dude,

184
00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,319
Speaker 1: if we don't do this, fucking Britain is going to

185
00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:42,120
Speaker 1: do it. But it was a terrible idea. And his

186
00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:44,400
Speaker 1: experience in Egypt is it's a little bit kind of

187
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,360
Speaker 1: like Irwin Rommel's going to be a couple of hundred

188
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:50,200
Speaker 1: years later where he doesn't win, but everyone's very impressed

189
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:53,040
Speaker 1: with how well he does, and he kind of nearly

190
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,199
Speaker 1: pulls it off, so he's he's a war hero. When

191
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:58,920
Speaker 1: he comes back to France, overthrows the government and establishes

192
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:01,680
Speaker 1: himself as first So we're skimming over a lot of

193
00:11:01,679 --> 00:11:04,800
Speaker 1: stuff here, but yeah, yeah, so this and a number

194
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,120
Speaker 1: of other things pisces off the other powers of Europe,

195
00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:09,960
Speaker 1: but we're already not thrilled about the French Revolution, and

196
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,920
Speaker 1: one by one they start coming after him, and Napoleon

197
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,960
Speaker 1: beats them all. Um, he is it is you know,

198
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:19,520
Speaker 1: talking when you talk about like what makes ranking like

199
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:22,320
Speaker 1: the quality of military commanders, you kind of have to

200
00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:27,040
Speaker 1: do everyone before about World War One and then everyone

201
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:31,000
Speaker 1: after because the nature of war changes so so drastically.

202
00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:34,800
Speaker 1: But Napoleon up the first like several thousand years of

203
00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:38,520
Speaker 1: human war. Being a good general pretty much always means

204
00:11:38,559 --> 00:11:40,200
Speaker 1: the same thing, which is, right, you have this set

205
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,079
Speaker 1: piece military and you were able to like you are

206
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,560
Speaker 1: able to command it in a war of maneuver until

207
00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:48,160
Speaker 1: bringing the other enemy to battle and defeating them, Right that, Like,

208
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:51,080
Speaker 1: that's what what makes you a good military commander, and

209
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:54,880
Speaker 1: it is it is arguable that Napoleon was the best

210
00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:57,439
Speaker 1: at that that any human being has ever been. Um.

211
00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:59,719
Speaker 1: He has a military record in terms of numbers of

212
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:01,880
Speaker 1: vic reason, terms of number of times he was outnumbered

213
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:06,120
Speaker 1: that eclipses Alexander the Great and basically everybody else. He is.

214
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:09,280
Speaker 1: He is unstoppable right up until the end when he

215
00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:12,240
Speaker 1: has stopped. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, you know, to

216
00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:16,680
Speaker 1: put it in modern warfare terms like his death to

217
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:20,040
Speaker 1: kill Ratio was like amazing, and he could do like

218
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:23,520
Speaker 1: three scopes all day long. That's right, he has no

219
00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:26,320
Speaker 1: he no scopes the ship out of everyone in Europe

220
00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:30,439
Speaker 1: for for a while. Obviously he's gonna overreach here in

221
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:34,319
Speaker 1: a little bit, but that hasn't happened. In eighteen o eight, um,

222
00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:38,199
Speaker 1: things are doing great there. His armies dominate most of Europe.

223
00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:40,760
Speaker 1: He's declared emperor in eighteen o four, and as soon

224
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:43,000
Speaker 1: as that happens, the Bonapartes, who again had been kind

225
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,640
Speaker 1: of a minor noble family, are suddenly like one of

226
00:12:45,679 --> 00:12:48,439
Speaker 1: the great families of Europe. They're equal to the Habsburgs

227
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,559
Speaker 1: in the House of fucking windsor right, because all the

228
00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:54,080
Speaker 1: fucking Europe is their domain now. Napoleon, being the head

229
00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:57,320
Speaker 1: of the family, because he has effectively conquered Western Europe,

230
00:12:57,679 --> 00:13:00,960
Speaker 1: starts to turn the Bonapartes into the reach of territories

231
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:04,360
Speaker 1: he's conquered. Right Like, they're my my brothers and cousins

232
00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:06,120
Speaker 1: and ship like, I can trust them the best, so

233
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:09,520
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make them kings of these areas I've captured. Alright,

234
00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:13,839
Speaker 1: So this whole thing we're just gonna call it like

235
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:18,280
Speaker 1: the North Italy. Yeah, you just rule all that ship. Okay,

236
00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:23,640
Speaker 1: one of you'all bitches takes Spain and uh fucking whatever, dude,

237
00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:27,400
Speaker 1: this is it's because it's so modern, Like people look

238
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,120
Speaker 1: at this and they're like, wow, this is really like

239
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:32,120
Speaker 1: gangster ship. But that's the only way that feudalism has

240
00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:35,240
Speaker 1: ever worked. Yeah, it's all just gangster ship. Gangster ship

241
00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:38,400
Speaker 1: is based off of feudalism. That's that's that was the

242
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:42,240
Speaker 1: original gangster ship. So Joseph is the becomes the King

243
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:46,600
Speaker 1: of Naples and also the king of Spain. Um Jerome

244
00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:49,800
Speaker 1: is made the king of Westphalia and I never remember

245
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:53,200
Speaker 1: where Westphalia is, but it's somewhere and somewhere west west,

246
00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:59,240
Speaker 1: west and west. His sisters Elisa and Pauline become princesses.

247
00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:01,559
Speaker 1: His sister Kara Len has made a queen of somewhere.

248
00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:05,600
Speaker 1: Lucian actually you bring up Lucian refuses his brother Um.

249
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:09,000
Speaker 1: He will not bow to his like his kin. But

250
00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:13,040
Speaker 1: Louis Napoleon Um, who is also almost as strong headed

251
00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:17,000
Speaker 1: as Lucian, does, reluctantly agree to serve as king of Denmark.

252
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:19,640
Speaker 1: Now it will not surprise you to learn that Napoleon

253
00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:22,400
Speaker 1: Bonaparte rules his family with the same kind of iron

254
00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:27,520
Speaker 1: fist as he rules every He is literally Napoleon. Um. Yeah,

255
00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:29,840
Speaker 1: So he commands them to marry who he wants them

256
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,440
Speaker 1: to marry. He orders them to get divorced just as easily.

257
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:36,040
Speaker 1: He names their children for them. No, no, no. Bonaparte,

258
00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:38,920
Speaker 1: who accepts a royal gift is allowed to travel without

259
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:42,080
Speaker 1: his permission. He keeps them on a tight leash, but

260
00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:44,320
Speaker 1: as long as their brother remains emperor, they've also got

261
00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:46,280
Speaker 1: all of the wealth and influence that you know they

262
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,640
Speaker 1: could have only dreamed of before. So it's kind of

263
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:51,720
Speaker 1: a mixed bag um. As some people know, the great

264
00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:54,720
Speaker 1: love of Napoleon's life is the Empress Josephine. She had

265
00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:57,880
Speaker 1: two children already when they got married, and Napoleon is

266
00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:00,720
Speaker 1: going to have a bunch of children with as mistresses.

267
00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:03,760
Speaker 1: But for unknown reasons, she and Napoleon are unable to

268
00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:06,800
Speaker 1: conceive children together. Right, they both do have kids with

269
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,960
Speaker 1: other people, but they just can't together. There's theories about

270
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:14,000
Speaker 1: why that. I mean, yeah, I think the leading theories

271
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,160
Speaker 1: that after she has her first two kids, something happens

272
00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:20,000
Speaker 1: and she's infertile. Um. But obviously we're not going to

273
00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:23,920
Speaker 1: know exactly why, because this is eighteen o six or whatever. Um,

274
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,520
Speaker 1: zoomed the body and check on the get in there,

275
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:31,160
Speaker 1: get in there, open it up and see what's going on.

276
00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:35,200
Speaker 1: Maybe there's a little you know, egg topic. Napoleon baby,

277
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:38,080
Speaker 1: do the do the do the the Jurassic Park things.

278
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:41,320
Speaker 1: Suck out a little bit of Napoleon Josephee DNA and

279
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:46,560
Speaker 1: finally make that baby. Put him in a raptor cage,

280
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:50,320
Speaker 1: have fucking muldoon with a shotgun sitting outside, feed him goats.

281
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:55,440
Speaker 1: I don't know what we're doing here. They remember they

282
00:15:55,440 --> 00:16:00,840
Speaker 1: should all be destroyed. Um that it would be funny

283
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:03,000
Speaker 1: to be like a nick you doctor and and do

284
00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:09,080
Speaker 1: that like how dressed up dude, Um putting bottles in

285
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:15,760
Speaker 1: their mouths. Spass twelve by your side anyway. Um. So yeah,

286
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,720
Speaker 1: they are unable to have a kid together, which is

287
00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:21,280
Speaker 1: a problem because Napoleon is the Emperor of France and

288
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:25,160
Speaker 1: you know, having an air is kind of important. Um.

289
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:28,560
Speaker 1: So he's got some kids with his side, check eleanor.

290
00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:32,160
Speaker 1: But you know they're not legal kids. So eventually Napoleon

291
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,560
Speaker 1: is going to divorce Josephine, although he remains in love

292
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:35,920
Speaker 1: with her for the rest of his life. It's a

293
00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:39,280
Speaker 1: complicated story, but he divorces her to marry a teenage

294
00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:43,400
Speaker 1: girl named Mary Louise. She is eighteen, which is I

295
00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:47,200
Speaker 1: gotta say, from by the standards of European royalty in

296
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:52,320
Speaker 1: the eighteen hundreds. He likes them old. Yeah, that's true.

297
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:56,400
Speaker 1: That's true. Like that is basically like ten years from

298
00:16:56,440 --> 00:17:00,760
Speaker 1: death at this point, so you are that was legally

299
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:05,320
Speaker 1: fifty five years old back then. So um. He marries

300
00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:08,200
Speaker 1: Marie Louise, who is the daughter of the Emperor of Austria,

301
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,480
Speaker 1: to try to get himself a baby that it can

302
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:13,320
Speaker 1: be his heir. But in the meantime, you know, anything

303
00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:15,880
Speaker 1: could happen. You've got it. He's constantly going to war

304
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,960
Speaker 1: and ships, so you've got to take actions to ensure

305
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,960
Speaker 1: that the burgeoning house of Bonaparte has an actual line

306
00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:24,600
Speaker 1: of secession. For reasons that makes sense to royalists, Napoleon

307
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:27,399
Speaker 1: Bonaparte decides the best thing he can do is Mary,

308
00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:31,400
Speaker 1: Josephine's daughter, who a tens off to his younger brother Lewis,

309
00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:34,440
Speaker 1: to connect the families by blood. Their children would be

310
00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:38,800
Speaker 1: bonapartes and thus eligible to inherit the empire now. And

311
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,280
Speaker 1: again that's actually shows kind of even though he does

312
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,560
Speaker 1: divorce her in this way, that's kind of sucked up

313
00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:46,720
Speaker 1: that he loves Josephine because he's like, well, I'm going

314
00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:48,880
Speaker 1: to make sure my air is a mix of her

315
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,240
Speaker 1: blood and my blood, even though we can't conceive a

316
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,080
Speaker 1: child together, which is fascinating. I actually can't really think

317
00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:58,120
Speaker 1: of another case of something like that. It's very interesting story, Simp.

318
00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:01,240
Speaker 1: I mean, like he's the biggest jose Osophine simple of

319
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,639
Speaker 1: all time, you know, like he's, uh, he was a

320
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:05,840
Speaker 1: simple and we have all of his letters to prove it.

321
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:09,440
Speaker 1: And listen, I am also Simp. So I just want

322
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,960
Speaker 1: to say, uh, Simp, pride, and I don't think we

323
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:15,919
Speaker 1: should use it as a slurk about that. Hey, you

324
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:20,720
Speaker 1: know what, Matt, we could call him the simperer Napoleon. Oh,

325
00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:27,040
Speaker 1: here we go, all right, we got funds, all right. So,

326
00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:30,679
Speaker 1: as with most royal marriages, no consideration was given as

327
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:34,320
Speaker 1: to whether or not Louis and Hortense actually wanted to

328
00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:37,440
Speaker 1: be in a relationship that was not at all important

329
00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:41,080
Speaker 1: to Napoleon Bonaparte um, I'm gonna quote now from Louis,

330
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:44,640
Speaker 1: Napoleon and the Second Empire, a book by J. M. Thompson,

331
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:46,320
Speaker 1: And this is the biography that I did not like

332
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,000
Speaker 1: as much. Quote. She was not in love with Louis

333
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:50,720
Speaker 1: and he did not want to marry, but they could

334
00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:52,960
Speaker 1: not withstand the Emperor's will. And we're made man and

335
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:56,920
Speaker 1: wife by the papal legate, Cardinal Caprara on January four,

336
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:59,520
Speaker 1: eighteen o two. On October ten, the same year, their

337
00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:03,400
Speaker 1: first son was born, named Napoleon Charles. On October four

338
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:06,760
Speaker 1: a second son, named Napoleon Louis. By this time, everyone

339
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:09,840
Speaker 1: knew that the marriage was a failure. Lewis negrect, neglected

340
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:13,879
Speaker 1: his wife, disliked her girlish tastes, suspected her friendships, and

341
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,560
Speaker 1: spied on her at every turn. She pined for Paris

342
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:21,359
Speaker 1: and Malmaison, and resented his puritanical discipline. So it's not

343
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:24,080
Speaker 1: a love marriage. It's not going great. She wants to

344
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:27,280
Speaker 1: have a life, and he is angry whenever she does

345
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:30,399
Speaker 1: anything but like sit like a nun in her house. Also,

346
00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:33,160
Speaker 1: as a heads up, his first two kids are Napoleon

347
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:38,240
Speaker 1: Charles and uh Napoleon Lewis he is Louis Napoleon. Hey, everybody,

348
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:41,240
Speaker 1: Robert here. Uh sorry, I make a number of mistakes

349
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,640
Speaker 1: about royalty early on. I am trying to correct them.

350
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:47,080
Speaker 1: Now he's not Louis Napoleon. He's Louis Bonaparte. Now keep

351
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:48,880
Speaker 1: that in mind, because I'm about to call him Louis

352
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:52,040
Speaker 1: Napoleon a bunch of times. It is very frustrating. But

353
00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:55,760
Speaker 1: now the brother of Napoleon Bonaparte is Louis Bonaparte. His

354
00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:59,360
Speaker 1: sons are Louis Napoleon and Napoleon Lewis, but they are

355
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:03,399
Speaker 1: also bona Parts. I'm sorry, this is very frustrating. I

356
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:07,680
Speaker 1: made some mistakes here. Um, their uncle is Napoleon Bonaparte.

357
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:10,080
Speaker 1: The names are going to be frustrating in the first

358
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:12,560
Speaker 1: episode or so of this. Yeah, it's gonna be difficult

359
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:16,760
Speaker 1: to tell them all apart. Yeah, so Louis Napoleon again.

360
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:19,800
Speaker 1: The dad Napoleon Bonaparte's brother is also one of Napoleon's

361
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:22,160
Speaker 1: best generals, right, Like, this is not a case where

362
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,960
Speaker 1: he just like makes his brother in general and he's

363
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:27,880
Speaker 1: at the Napoleon's Louis Napoleon is a very capable field commander,

364
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:31,120
Speaker 1: and he runs his house like a household of soldiers.

365
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:33,840
Speaker 1: Nothing Hortense did was ever good enough for him. It

366
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,399
Speaker 1: was a sad marriage, and her only comfort was her

367
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:41,000
Speaker 1: confusingly named sons, Napoleon Charles and Napoleon Lewis. Like all

368
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,800
Speaker 1: tales of European nobility, this again has about a hundred

369
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:45,720
Speaker 1: people with the same name, and we'll do the best here.

370
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:49,520
Speaker 1: So Napoleon Bonaparte is an interesting guy. He's he's a monster,

371
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,600
Speaker 1: and I mean he kills millions of people or gets

372
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:55,119
Speaker 1: them killed. But he also is like a weirdly understanding

373
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,080
Speaker 1: dude in some ways. And he saw the way that

374
00:20:57,119 --> 00:20:59,160
Speaker 1: his brother Lewis was acting in the marriage, and from

375
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,080
Speaker 1: a castle in Pole and where he was with the time,

376
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:04,240
Speaker 1: living with his mistress, he sends his brother a letter, quote,

377
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:07,680
Speaker 1: your quarrels with the queen are becoming private public property,

378
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:10,160
Speaker 1: if only you would keep for family life the fatherly

379
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:13,040
Speaker 1: and effeminate disposition you exhibit in the sphere of sphere

380
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:15,720
Speaker 1: of government, and apply to public affairs the severity that

381
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:18,280
Speaker 1: you display at home. You jew your young wife like

382
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 1: a regiment of soldiers. You have the best and worthiest

383
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,120
Speaker 1: wife in the world, and yet you are making her unhappy.

384
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,600
Speaker 1: Let her dance as much as she likes. She is

385
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,840
Speaker 1: just the age for it. Do you expect a wife

386
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:30,159
Speaker 1: of twenty who sees her life slipping away and dreams

387
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,240
Speaker 1: of all she is missing to live in a nunnery

388
00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:34,719
Speaker 1: or a nursery with nothing to do but bathe her baby.

389
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:37,640
Speaker 1: Make Cortense happy. She is the mother of your children.

390
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,880
Speaker 1: The only way to treat her with all The only

391
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:42,360
Speaker 1: way to treat her is with all possible trust and respect.

392
00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:44,879
Speaker 1: It's a pity she is so virtuous. If you were

393
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,040
Speaker 1: married to a flirt, she would lead you by the nose.

394
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:49,000
Speaker 1: But she is proud to be your wife and is

395
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:51,080
Speaker 1: pained and repelled by the mere idea that you may

396
00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:57,720
Speaker 1: be thinking poorly of her. That's like pretty good, actually right,

397
00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:00,720
Speaker 1: And it's also coming from a place of like, do

398
00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:03,120
Speaker 1: you know how lucky you are to have a lady

399
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:06,480
Speaker 1: who's not cheating on you all the time? Okay? And

400
00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:14,479
Speaker 1: you know how luck you are? Yea? I do? I do?

401
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:16,520
Speaker 1: It does kind of make me like him more to

402
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:19,120
Speaker 1: hear him be like, dude, let her dance. She's a kid,

403
00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:21,800
Speaker 1: What do you what do he wants? Chill out? Stop

404
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,560
Speaker 1: being a dick. It is funny that Louis Napoleon is

405
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:29,160
Speaker 1: was was basically like, uh, you know, all she wants

406
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:32,240
Speaker 1: to do all day is dance and other girls stuff,

407
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:36,560
Speaker 1: And it's like, can we write a fucking horse, please please?

408
00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:39,600
Speaker 1: It's interesting too. The Napoleon's are fat, the Bonta parts

409
00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:42,160
Speaker 1: are fascinating because Louis Napoleon is a dick. At this point,

410
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:45,040
Speaker 1: he's going to evolve into like the only correct person

411
00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:48,200
Speaker 1: in the entire story. This Louis Napoleon, not his son,

412
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:53,480
Speaker 1: also Louis Napoleon. Ye, well, this is Louis Bonaparte. Sorry,

413
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:56,440
Speaker 1: not Louis Bonaparte. His son is Louis Napoleon. I hate,

414
00:22:56,520 --> 00:23:00,840
Speaker 1: I hate the fucking names. Um. So shortly after sending

415
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:06,040
Speaker 1: this letter, uh, Louis Napoleon's sung young Napoleon lewis or

416
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:12,680
Speaker 1: sorry Louis bonaparte son young Napoleon, Louis horrible. He gets

417
00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:15,240
Speaker 1: he gets one of the infinite number of sicknesses that

418
00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:17,480
Speaker 1: little kids get back then and he's he's soon dead

419
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:21,679
Speaker 1: as hell. Um very sad. Yeah, this tragedy shocks Louis

420
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:24,679
Speaker 1: Bonaparte into acting less like a piece of ship for

421
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:26,959
Speaker 1: a little while, like he tries to be chill with

422
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,720
Speaker 1: his wife because their kid just died. Um. He's doing

423
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:33,160
Speaker 1: his best. He's not like a goblin. For his part,

424
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:36,640
Speaker 1: Napoleon Bonaparte is concerned about the fact that he's down

425
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:39,760
Speaker 1: in air right, but to his credit, he doesn't focus

426
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:42,680
Speaker 1: primarily on that. He focuses his attention on Hortense again.

427
00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:44,919
Speaker 1: He really loves her like a daughter, um, and he

428
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,000
Speaker 1: writes to her that he's worried because, quote, you have

429
00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:51,000
Speaker 1: lost interest in life and are indifferent to everything. So,

430
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:55,159
Speaker 1: which is also an understanding way to feel in that situation.

431
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:58,360
Speaker 1: But it's also interesting that he recognizes that, Uh. This

432
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:01,639
Speaker 1: makes Charles Napoleon the heir to the empire, which is

433
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:04,359
Speaker 1: quite a lot of pressure. That pressure gets eased a

434
00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:09,360
Speaker 1: little bit on April eight when Louis Bonaparte and Hortense

435
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:13,600
Speaker 1: have their third son, who they named Louis Napoleon Bonaparte.

436
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:19,800
Speaker 1: So we just lost Napoleon Lewis. Now we've got Louis Napoleon,

437
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:24,000
Speaker 1: who's the focus of the episode, son of Louis Bonaparte.

438
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:27,600
Speaker 1: So Louis Bonaparte is the King of Holland, brother of

439
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:33,600
Speaker 1: Napoleon Bonaparte. His son's Charles Napoleon and Louis Napoleon are

440
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:36,879
Speaker 1: now the kids that I hate this too, and you're

441
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,520
Speaker 1: very frustrated would have learned from this by now, But

442
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:42,760
Speaker 1: I was just yeah, I was just reading that ten

443
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:45,280
Speaker 1: percent of the US Senate is now made up of

444
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:50,359
Speaker 1: John's unbelievable. Should be illegal, should be a crime, like

445
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:53,360
Speaker 1: did we not learn from Napoleon? Get a new name?

446
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:55,680
Speaker 1: What do you know? El? Should you know? What? Else?

447
00:24:55,680 --> 00:25:02,560
Speaker 1: Should be a crime? Allowing the great late to exist unmolested? Absolutely,

448
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:06,720
Speaker 1: that's the that's the real sedition Funck this January sixth

449
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:12,359
Speaker 1: ship We need to investigate sympathizers with the Great Lakes. Yeah,

450
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,879
Speaker 1: speaking of the Great Lakes, have you heard the the

451
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:22,440
Speaker 1: viral song about Michigan's governor Gretchen Whitmer called big Gretch?

452
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:29,840
Speaker 1: Because it's a vibe? Is it like a pro gretch song? Right?

453
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:32,920
Speaker 1: Like funk with us? We got big Gretch? It's really

454
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:35,760
Speaker 1: it made me as as a as a person with

455
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:40,800
Speaker 1: relatives from Michigan. It made me laugh. It's only Michigan. Yeah,

456
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:44,000
Speaker 1: can we keep the Great Lakes in Michigan and just

457
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,240
Speaker 1: get rid of the ones that aren't in Michigan, which

458
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:48,840
Speaker 1: is is like Michigan, the one that's in Michigan. So

459
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:50,879
Speaker 1: you know, do you guys remember when we did de

460
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,639
Speaker 1: bathification in Iraq. That's what we need to do with

461
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:57,399
Speaker 1: the Great Lakes. Yeah, we need to de bath it,

462
00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:01,240
Speaker 1: make it not a giant bath no more. I don't

463
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:04,320
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. I'm losing my mind. I haven't

464
00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:07,680
Speaker 1: slept in eight days. Um, yeah, we should do that

465
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,720
Speaker 1: with the Lake Superior and all the lakes. Dude, destroy

466
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:16,800
Speaker 1: the Great Lakes are the real cabal. You know? I agree? Anyway?

467
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:19,640
Speaker 1: Do you hear that, Kanye, It's not the people who

468
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:24,400
Speaker 1: you think are. Yeah, let's go death on three. Let's

469
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:28,440
Speaker 1: go death con three on the Great Lakes. Death Gone three.

470
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:33,560
Speaker 1: Napoleon's gonna be like fucking Cyrus the Great, or Kanye

471
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:35,359
Speaker 1: is gonna be like Cyrus the Great ordering him in

472
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:39,160
Speaker 1: to whip the lake. Yes, we need baby. I love

473
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 1: a good Cyrus the Great reference on man, he was

474
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:51,720
Speaker 1: pretty good. He was pretty good. Here's some ads. We're back.

475
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:56,840
Speaker 1: I've just been ugling pictures of Cyrus the Great incredible cabs. Um,

476
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:58,919
Speaker 1: I have a time machine. I only used it to

477
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:03,800
Speaker 1: get photos of the calves of historical hotties. Um could

478
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 1: have stopped nine eleven shows not to just let that

479
00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 1: one happen. I went back to nine just to be like,

480
00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:14,840
Speaker 1: I ain't stopping this. Yeah I didn't. I ain't nothing. Anyway,

481
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:19,679
Speaker 1: Let's talk about all of the different people named Louis Napoleon,

482
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:26,879
Speaker 1: his father, who was Louis Bonaparte, not Louis Napoleon, but

483
00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:30,720
Speaker 1: who I will probably mistakenly call Louis Napoleon another couple

484
00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:34,520
Speaker 1: of times in this story. Yeah, periodically is going to

485
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:37,280
Speaker 1: be a dick, but pretty much after this point he

486
00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:41,359
Speaker 1: gets increasingly chill um. So you know, people grow over time.

487
00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:46,400
Speaker 1: The marriage, though, between Louis Bonaparte and Hortense, is unhappy

488
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:49,680
Speaker 1: enough that Louis asks his brother Napoleon Bonaparte for permission

489
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 1: to have a divorce soon after the birth of Louis Napoleon,

490
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:56,239
Speaker 1: the focus of our episode. But since Napoleon had just

491
00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:59,919
Speaker 1: divorced Josephine so he could marry a teenager to have babies,

492
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,880
Speaker 1: felt that imperial prestige had taken enough of a hit

493
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,879
Speaker 1: from the divorce already, and so he told his brother no.

494
00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:10,080
Speaker 1: So the earliest years of Louis Napoleon's life included frequent

495
00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:12,560
Speaker 1: fights between his mother and father and long periods of

496
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 1: separation where he generally spent time with his mom. He

497
00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:17,800
Speaker 1: does not really have a relationship with his dad for

498
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:21,240
Speaker 1: most of the first like fourteen years of his life. Um,

499
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 1: why he's so tiny. It stunted his growth. It's stunted

500
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:27,439
Speaker 1: his growth. That's right, that's right, Dad's dad's are how

501
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:30,879
Speaker 1: you get tall? Um? Now, it is unlikely that he

502
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:33,080
Speaker 1: had much memory of the period in which his father

503
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:36,040
Speaker 1: was King of Holland because an eighteen ten, when he's two,

504
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:39,040
Speaker 1: Louis Bonaparte has a series of fights with his brother,

505
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:42,560
Speaker 1: and it all came down to Napoleon Bonaparte controlling nature.

506
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:44,719
Speaker 1: He wanted his brothers to act as regents only if

507
00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:46,920
Speaker 1: he do what they said, acting as his proxies, and

508
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,920
Speaker 1: Louis Bonaparte is a guy with some integrity. He's like, well,

509
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:52,560
Speaker 1: if I'm the king, then I should be like making

510
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:56,160
Speaker 1: my own decisions. And when he realizes that that's not okay,

511
00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:58,000
Speaker 1: he's like, well, fuck it, I abdicate. I don't know

512
00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:00,520
Speaker 1: what's the point of me being a kid if my

513
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:04,960
Speaker 1: stupid brother is just gonna tell me how to do kingship. Yeah,

514
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:08,520
Speaker 1: so he quits. Uh. He flees to Bohemia, leaving his

515
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:11,160
Speaker 1: wife in charge of the kid. And now that his

516
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:14,959
Speaker 1: brother isn't king anymore, Napoleon doesn't care if they stay together,

517
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:17,960
Speaker 1: and he gives Hortense a pile of money to live

518
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,600
Speaker 1: peacefully in Paris with her sons his who are still

519
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 1: his heirs. Right their kids are still his heirs to

520
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:27,240
Speaker 1: the throne. Um. Now, as is sometimes the case, things

521
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:31,720
Speaker 1: between Louis Bonaparte and Hortense get better after they split up. Um.

522
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:34,080
Speaker 1: They just are not people who should have ever been married.

523
00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:37,920
Speaker 1: Um Uh, And the two remain married but separated the

524
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,280
Speaker 1: rest of hortense Is life. This is probably best for

525
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:42,600
Speaker 1: everyone involved, but it means that a little Louis grows

526
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:46,560
Speaker 1: up his father is this distance seldom see scene figure. Um.

527
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:49,080
Speaker 1: He deeply admires his dad because his dad's a war

528
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:52,320
Speaker 1: hero and a former king, but he doesn't know him well. Um.

529
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:54,920
Speaker 1: And as Hortense had found, it was very difficult for

530
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:58,560
Speaker 1: him to be good enough for Louis Bonaparte. One biography

531
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:00,480
Speaker 1: writes that during this time he quote knew of his

532
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:03,760
Speaker 1: father only as an enemy. Some sources have claim that

533
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 1: Emperor Napoleon himself kind of sailed into the gap to

534
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,680
Speaker 1: act as the main male role model for Louis during

535
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:12,560
Speaker 1: this period. This is sort of true, but not in

536
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:14,760
Speaker 1: a way that means he was like there regularly. It

537
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:17,480
Speaker 1: still probably means the young Louis Lewis has like five

538
00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:21,480
Speaker 1: memories of ever meeting the guy. Biographer J. M. Thompson writes, quote,

539
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:24,480
Speaker 1: Louis Napoleon would be too young to remember more, perhaps

540
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:27,200
Speaker 1: than the impression of a sleek, tubby, talkative little man

541
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:29,760
Speaker 1: who took him on his knee, lifting him alarmingly by

542
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:31,960
Speaker 1: his head, a man with a menacing eye and a

543
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 1: habit of shouting behind cloud closed doors at ministers or ambassadors.

544
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,120
Speaker 1: It was the rule that Hortense and her children should

545
00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:40,719
Speaker 1: dine once a week at the tuleries, where the Emperor

546
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:42,600
Speaker 1: would make them sit at the table and tell them

547
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:46,280
Speaker 1: stories from La Fontagne between conversations with the actors, architects,

548
00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:49,120
Speaker 1: or officials who might have business to do with him. Now,

549
00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:52,400
Speaker 1: La Fontagne, and that's who Napoleon Bonaparte, these kids who

550
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:54,960
Speaker 1: are his heirs, he's reading them stories from this French

551
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:57,480
Speaker 1: author who writes fables. Right, La Fontagne is a French

552
00:30:57,560 --> 00:31:00,280
Speaker 1: author who wrote Fables in the late sixteen hundreds, and

553
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 1: I wanted to know, like, what kind of bedtime stories

554
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:07,400
Speaker 1: to Napoleon Bonaparte think we're like valuable to give his heirs,

555
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:09,960
Speaker 1: because you have to assume he was a pretty intentional guy,

556
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:12,560
Speaker 1: like he picked them for a reason. I found a

557
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:16,320
Speaker 1: write up by Russell Gannon that explains why Napoleon likely

558
00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:19,320
Speaker 1: thought these stories in particular were good to raise his

559
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:22,720
Speaker 1: young heirs with quote. For the most part, the discourse

560
00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:26,000
Speaker 1: on authority communicated in the illustrated Fables portrays a kind

561
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:30,000
Speaker 1: of enlightened despotism that advocates centralized authority, but one that

562
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:32,640
Speaker 1: protects those who do not wield influence and affirms their

563
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:36,640
Speaker 1: right to respect grievance or express grievances, which is kind

564
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:39,880
Speaker 1: of the way the Napoleon runs things like, you're not

565
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:43,280
Speaker 1: it's not totalitarian. You're allowed to like make fun of

566
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:46,280
Speaker 1: him and stuff. It's just like liberal because he knows

567
00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:50,200
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. He was an enlightened despot. That's exactly right. Yeah,

568
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:52,240
Speaker 1: He's like, listen, I have all the power, I have

569
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:54,480
Speaker 1: the best army in the world. You guys can talk

570
00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:58,040
Speaker 1: a little bit of ship. Yeah, you can talk some ship. Yeah,

571
00:31:58,080 --> 00:32:02,040
Speaker 1: that's fine. Um. As master of Europe, Napoleon is like

572
00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:04,600
Speaker 1: traveling a lot. He spends less than a hundred and

573
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:07,520
Speaker 1: fifty days in Paris during the time that he was emperor,

574
00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:10,720
Speaker 1: and Louis is a human being, so again, not around

575
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:13,680
Speaker 1: a lot. By the time Louis was for Napoleon had

576
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:17,040
Speaker 1: gone off to fight in Russia, which goes as well,

577
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:20,720
Speaker 1: goes as well as fighting for Russia usually goes for everyone,

578
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:26,400
Speaker 1: including Russia. It is doesn't end well. Um, he loses

579
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:29,320
Speaker 1: his empire. Uh. This leads to a brief period where

580
00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:32,560
Speaker 1: the Bonaparte family are still in position across Europe, but

581
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 1: the Allies have like forced Napoleon into exile. Uh. They

582
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:39,360
Speaker 1: send troops into Paris, and oddly enough, this is not

583
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:43,800
Speaker 1: a bad memory for young Louis Napoleon. Um so Alexander

584
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:45,760
Speaker 1: that it's the second to the third. He's the Alexander

585
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:50,480
Speaker 1: who's going to become Czar. He's he's he's Nikki's dad, right. Uh,

586
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:54,520
Speaker 1: so hey, Robert here I fucked up again? So again royalty.

587
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 1: Very frustrating. Alexander the first was already Zar when he

588
00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:02,440
Speaker 1: entered Paris in eighteen fourteen UM. He is going to be.

589
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:07,000
Speaker 1: He's the brother of Czar Nicholas the first, who is

590
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:10,760
Speaker 1: the father of Czar Alexander the second, who is the

591
00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:14,120
Speaker 1: father of Nicholas the second, who is the nikki that

592
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:16,600
Speaker 1: we covered in our four partner. He's the one with

593
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:20,520
Speaker 1: Rasputin and the getting murdered and all that stuff. Again royalty,

594
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:24,880
Speaker 1: very frustrating, very complicated, too many names that are the same.

595
00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:27,840
Speaker 1: And he's not the czar yet, he's the Tsarevitch right,

596
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:30,280
Speaker 1: he's but he he winds up with his army in

597
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 1: the French capital in eighteen fourteen UM, and he actually

598
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:37,400
Speaker 1: becomes really close with Hortense and Louis Napoleon and his

599
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:41,440
Speaker 1: brother Napoleon Charles or whatever. Despite having watched like again

600
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:45,120
Speaker 1: Alexander helps wage one of those devastating wars in history

601
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:48,960
Speaker 1: against her father in law. But despite all this, he's

602
00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:52,400
Speaker 1: extremely kind to Hortense and becomes a close friend, often

603
00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:54,000
Speaker 1: showing up to check in on her. He just kind

604
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:57,520
Speaker 1: of recognizes well her, you know, her her her her

605
00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:00,960
Speaker 1: dad and her h or sorry, her mom and herr.

606
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:04,080
Speaker 1: Her father in law basically have been like forced out.

607
00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:06,520
Speaker 1: This is scary, you know, I'm gonna I'll check in

608
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:09,000
Speaker 1: on her. She's a young mom and six. I just

609
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:13,040
Speaker 1: want to make sure you're doing okay. I've been killing

610
00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:16,839
Speaker 1: all your people. Yeah, this is the guy who will

611
00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:19,320
Speaker 1: have a who will who will force a train conductor

612
00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:22,160
Speaker 1: to crash a train drunkenly and then blame it on

613
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:26,040
Speaker 1: the juice. So not shouldn't be mistaken about how quality

614
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:30,240
Speaker 1: a man this is. So he's like he's he's becomes

615
00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:33,040
Speaker 1: close to the family. Six year old Louis Napoleon is

616
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:35,799
Speaker 1: so grateful to the futures are for comforting his mother that,

617
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:38,560
Speaker 1: during one visit quote, the little fellow sidled up to

618
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:41,120
Speaker 1: him and quietly placed one of those oars. Upon one

619
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:43,200
Speaker 1: of these oars fingers a ring in which his prince,

620
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:46,800
Speaker 1: his uncle, Prince Eugene, the Viceroy of Italy, had given him.

621
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:48,600
Speaker 1: The boy, and, being asked by his mother what he

622
00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:50,839
Speaker 1: meant by this, said, I have only this ring, which

623
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:52,360
Speaker 1: my uncle gave me, but I have given it to

624
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:54,839
Speaker 1: the Emperor Alexander because he has been so kind to you,

625
00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:59,040
Speaker 1: dear mama um, and Czar Alexander keeps the ring for

626
00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:04,279
Speaker 1: the rest of his life. So that's cool. Yeah, he's

627
00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:06,439
Speaker 1: a sweet kid. Like again, he's like six at this point,

628
00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:08,759
Speaker 1: he hasn't done anything wrong. Um, this is just like

629
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:11,439
Speaker 1: a guy who's nice to his mom in a difficult time. Now,

630
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:13,680
Speaker 1: if you know the Napoleon story, you know he's back

631
00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:16,960
Speaker 1: from exile pretty quick. He just kind of sails to France.

632
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:19,680
Speaker 1: They send the army to stop and he's like, hey, army,

633
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:22,359
Speaker 1: you remember that, like we used to be cool when

634
00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:25,560
Speaker 1: we did it again, and they're like, absolutely, Napoleon, let's

635
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:28,680
Speaker 1: do it. My favorite part about it is that like

636
00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:32,880
Speaker 1: the Bourbons were back for like six months, they have

637
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 1: like a couple of months. Yeah, and then people were

638
00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:39,560
Speaker 1: just like, oh, this fucking sucks. And Napoleon just walks

639
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 1: over like can I be emperor again? And all the

640
00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:47,440
Speaker 1: armies like yeah, well yeah, yeah he is hard to

641
00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:53,279
Speaker 1: overstayd how popular Napoleon Bonaparte's very popular. Yeah, so for

642
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:56,160
Speaker 1: a little bit, the Bonapartes are the first family in Paris. Again,

643
00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:59,960
Speaker 1: this does not last very long. Um. The last time

644
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 1: Louis Napoleon will ever see his uncle is the night

645
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:06,360
Speaker 1: before Napoleon departs to march with his army for Waterloo.

646
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:09,560
Speaker 1: As he says goodbye to his heir, Louis Napoleon tells him,

647
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:13,200
Speaker 1: tells Napoleon Bonaparte quote, Sire, I don't want you to

648
00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:15,680
Speaker 1: go to the war. Those wicked allies will kill you.

649
00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:19,200
Speaker 1: The emperor was standing next to his number one military commander,

650
00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:22,520
Speaker 1: Marshal suit Sult. I don't know how to pronounce that

651
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:25,960
Speaker 1: fucking name. Napoleon could not bring himself to hug his heir,

652
00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:30,160
Speaker 1: because you know, it's eighteen twelve, So he tells Sult

653
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:33,560
Speaker 1: embraced the child, Marshall. He has a good heart. Perhaps

654
00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:35,200
Speaker 1: one day he will be the hope of my race.

655
00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:40,680
Speaker 1: WHOA I could not hug the child, but I will

656
00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:47,200
Speaker 1: have my my chief military my child's hand. He's just weeping.

657
00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:53,600
Speaker 1: Shake his hand. Don't wipe his tears. That's too kind.

658
00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:59,239
Speaker 1: So after this, Napoleon marches off to Waterloo. Doesn't go

659
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:02,040
Speaker 1: well for him. He gets exiled for the final time.

660
00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:05,280
Speaker 1: Somewhere in that period. Bill and Ted take him into

661
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:09,000
Speaker 1: the nineteen eighties, but I forget exactly when his family

662
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 1: never sees him again. Though. After this point, the Bonapartes

663
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:16,080
Speaker 1: are pariah's in Europe. Right they lose their kingdoms. They

664
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,799
Speaker 1: are four It is illegal to exist in France as

665
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 1: a bonaparte. After this period they are banned from the country. Um.

666
00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:26,399
Speaker 1: Some of that is because the Bourbon family takes over

667
00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:28,960
Speaker 1: and they're like, we can't let these people ever exist

668
00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:31,239
Speaker 1: in France again. And another part of it is that

669
00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:35,920
Speaker 1: like all of Europe is frightened of Napoleon in a

670
00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:39,319
Speaker 1: way that like there's really not a guy like that.

671
00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:41,799
Speaker 1: It's like if yeah, I don't know, I don't like,

672
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:44,239
Speaker 1: I don't know that there's ever been like Hitler's the closest.

673
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:46,279
Speaker 1: But it's kind of like we hate Hitler because he

674
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:50,600
Speaker 1: was just like this monstrous engine of evil. Napoleon is

675
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:54,680
Speaker 1: like just feared because of how he like he was

676
00:37:54,719 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 1: just very competent, right, and he people were, yeah, he

677
00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:02,920
Speaker 1: was doing all of the things that like really, uh

678
00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:08,040
Speaker 1: like we're a threat to I think royal royalism in general.

679
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:10,759
Speaker 1: Like not only was he like had the best army

680
00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:13,879
Speaker 1: in the world, was super super popular. You know, he's

681
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:16,200
Speaker 1: like royals don't need to be popular, they just need

682
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:21,200
Speaker 1: to be more. He's popular and he's liberalizing, so he's

683
00:38:21,239 --> 00:38:25,480
Speaker 1: doing everything right. It's like he represents probably the biggest

684
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:30,440
Speaker 1: threat to royalism in Europe. Uh, ever at this if

685
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:33,680
Speaker 1: you if you read the way they talked about him

686
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:36,759
Speaker 1: like the crown other crownheads of Europe. They talk about

687
00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:39,800
Speaker 1: him like an alien or a plague, like a monster,

688
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:44,120
Speaker 1: like like like something supernatural. That's that's the way. So anyway,

689
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:48,000
Speaker 1: they are on the run basically like his family is

690
00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:50,240
Speaker 1: on the run in Europe for a while because nobody

691
00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:54,640
Speaker 1: will fucking take them. Um, Louis is installed as king

692
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:58,880
Speaker 1: of France. Uh, I'm gonna veer between using Louis and

693
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:01,799
Speaker 1: Lewis an umber of times, as I'm going to mispronounce

694
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:04,760
Speaker 1: most of the French things in this episode. You can,

695
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:06,799
Speaker 1: you can deal with it. Look, if you want someone

696
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:09,359
Speaker 1: who can pronounce things in his competent, listen to Mike

697
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:13,640
Speaker 1: Duncan exactly. I love Mike Duncan. I love Mike Duncan,

698
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:17,200
Speaker 1: but you can't pronounce thing. He tries real hard though

699
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:23,720
Speaker 1: he's better than me, better than most. Um, yeah, he tries.

700
00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:26,799
Speaker 1: We are not going to try all that. Uh. So

701
00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:29,640
Speaker 1: that's what this podcast is about, not your goddamn you're

702
00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:34,040
Speaker 1: goddamn right, It is natally so. Uh. He agrees to

703
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:37,319
Speaker 1: preserve he had agreed when he had taken power the

704
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:39,920
Speaker 1: first time before Napoleon came back to preserve all of

705
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:44,200
Speaker 1: the liberties granted by the revolutionary Constitution. Um, he doesn't

706
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:46,920
Speaker 1: do this when he comes back the second time. He

707
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:49,880
Speaker 1: cracks down a lot more that time, but there's there

708
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:52,640
Speaker 1: they're like, we're doing the white terror about that. He

709
00:39:52,719 --> 00:39:55,879
Speaker 1: also he doesn't get to make it an absolute monarchy again,

710
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:58,680
Speaker 1: because like, the Republicans are still very powerful in France,

711
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:00,560
Speaker 1: and like, all right, well, if you which too far,

712
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 1: we did murder all of you once, like this could

713
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:06,520
Speaker 1: happen again. Let's not be too fucking cocky, right, yeah

714
00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:11,319
Speaker 1: it so Under Louis the eighteenth France returns to being

715
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:14,680
Speaker 1: kind of a a mid level power in Europe. Right,

716
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:17,360
Speaker 1: They are certainly nowhere near the heights they had experienced

717
00:40:17,400 --> 00:40:21,640
Speaker 1: on a Napoleon, which they don't love. Uh. He intervenes

718
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:25,000
Speaker 1: after a few years in a Spanish civil war, h

719
00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:27,759
Speaker 1: taking Madrid from rebels who had deposed the king, but

720
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:30,080
Speaker 1: he removes his troops once the fighting is done, which

721
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:32,120
Speaker 1: kind of proves to the British that France is no

722
00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:36,080
Speaker 1: longer like trying to take over Europe. Louis the Eighteenth

723
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:40,000
Speaker 1: dies in September eighteen twenty four, when Louis Napoleon is

724
00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:44,040
Speaker 1: sixteen years old. UM Now his father had finally become

725
00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:46,640
Speaker 1: a more regular force in his life. Two years earlier,

726
00:40:47,239 --> 00:40:50,400
Speaker 1: UM again, Louis Bonaparte, his chunk of the family, had

727
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:53,200
Speaker 1: spent the intervening years after Napoleon's defeat living kind of

728
00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:56,960
Speaker 1: his nomads, sometimes hounded by the authorities. UM. It was

729
00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:00,760
Speaker 1: not until eighteen seventeen that Hortense received Persian to settle

730
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:03,960
Speaker 1: in Bavaria with her son. Soon after, she was allowed

731
00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:06,560
Speaker 1: to set little in Switzerland to where she moved onto

732
00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:09,600
Speaker 1: a fancy estate and her oldest son goes off to

733
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:12,480
Speaker 1: live with it. So Napoleon Charles goes off to live

734
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 1: with Louis Bonaparte, but Prince Louis Napoleon, who is still

735
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:20,840
Speaker 1: technically Napoleon bonapartes air or second air after his older

736
00:41:20,880 --> 00:41:24,120
Speaker 1: brother lives in Switzerland with his mom. Right, that's where

737
00:41:24,160 --> 00:41:26,279
Speaker 1: he grows up. And he's yeah, I'm gonna quote now

738
00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:29,440
Speaker 1: from the book The Shadow Emperor by Alan strass Schaum,

739
00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:32,600
Speaker 1: which is the book about Napoleon the third that I enjoyed. Quote,

740
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:36,160
Speaker 1: the past couple of years of continuous personal upheaval and uncertainly,

741
00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:39,080
Speaker 1: certainty had taken a permanent toll on both Hortense and

742
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:41,680
Speaker 1: her son, Louis Napoleon. Always at the back of her

743
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:44,240
Speaker 1: mind was the anxiety that soldiers would once again appear

744
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:46,760
Speaker 1: on her doorstep with signed orders from the British Foreign

745
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:49,280
Speaker 1: Office and the other four members of the Allied Coalition

746
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 1: to expel her and her young family from yet another country.

747
00:41:52,239 --> 00:41:54,960
Speaker 1: That young Prince Louis Napoleon had became as cautious and

748
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:57,759
Speaker 1: wary as his mother, As his mother of people and

749
00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:01,040
Speaker 1: of the preferred friendship of newcomers, what's hardly surprising. For

750
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:02,839
Speaker 1: the first time in his life, the young nine year

751
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:05,480
Speaker 1: old Prince Louis Napoleon had a permanent roof over his head.

752
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:08,680
Speaker 1: In eighteen seventeen his first home in Augsburg, where he

753
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 1: soon attended regular classes at the gymnasium or high school

754
00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:15,200
Speaker 1: with other members of the aristocracy. Of the aristocracy and

755
00:42:15,239 --> 00:42:19,080
Speaker 1: how to bourgeoisie, he was cautiously happy. Gradually, the anxiety

756
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:21,400
Speaker 1: of the volcanic events of the last three years following

757
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:24,480
Speaker 1: the fall of Napoleon now eased his new daily route.

758
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:26,600
Speaker 1: His classes were in German, of course, and he quickly

759
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:29,080
Speaker 1: became fluent in that language, gradually coming to the point

760
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:31,600
Speaker 1: where he spoke French at home with a German accent,

761
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:33,520
Speaker 1: which remained with him for the rest of his life.

762
00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:36,759
Speaker 1: And sorry, his older brother is sixteen. He's nine when

763
00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:40,560
Speaker 1: they get a permanent home. So it's worth noting that

764
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:43,239
Speaker 1: even at the worst points in their flight, the Bonapartes

765
00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:46,759
Speaker 1: were never anything but very wealthy and comfortable. The other

766
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:49,400
Speaker 1: crowned heads of Europe may have hated and feared Napoleon,

767
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:51,960
Speaker 1: but they hated the idea that high royalty could ever

768
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:55,239
Speaker 1: become poor or destitute. Even more right, it's kind of

769
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:57,439
Speaker 1: more frightening for them to think that someone could fall

770
00:42:57,560 --> 00:43:00,839
Speaker 1: that far. As a result, the in the parts keep

771
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:04,319
Speaker 1: their fortunes and continue. They when I say they're like

772
00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:07,960
Speaker 1: living as nomads, they're like traveling between mansions and estates

773
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:10,840
Speaker 1: and castles, right, often living at someone else's castle for

774
00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:14,759
Speaker 1: a while, but still a castle. Um. Yeah, none of

775
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:18,200
Speaker 1: them are ever living in shacks and wearing no burlap

776
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:21,520
Speaker 1: sack for clothes, like they're doing rich people's ship. But

777
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:23,960
Speaker 1: they're like, you know, they don't have the deed to

778
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:27,840
Speaker 1: the property. Maybe it's like when a billionaire goes to prison,

779
00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:31,719
Speaker 1: and his prison is nicer than like anyone any of

780
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:33,719
Speaker 1: my l A U. S. D. Schools that I went to.

781
00:43:35,719 --> 00:43:38,839
Speaker 1: That's that's that's the way. It's this nice. You guys

782
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:42,120
Speaker 1: have faster Internet than my high school. So as a

783
00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:45,640
Speaker 1: result of all this, Louis Napoleon grows up fearing not

784
00:43:45,719 --> 00:43:48,840
Speaker 1: the Allied nations who had broken his uncle, but his

785
00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:50,880
Speaker 1: own father, right, And it's not the fear. He's not

786
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:52,359
Speaker 1: afraid that his dad's going to hit him. His dad,

787
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:54,640
Speaker 1: as far as I know, is never physically abusive, and

788
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:58,840
Speaker 1: I don't even think he's mentally abusive really. He's instead

789
00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:03,440
Speaker 1: just intensely constantly critical of everything his son tries to do.

790
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:07,160
Speaker 1: And normally I'd say that's not good. But his son

791
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:09,920
Speaker 1: is a giant ship heead Louis Napoleon is a is

792
00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:13,279
Speaker 1: a huge ship head, so Louis Bonaparte is right to

793
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:18,200
Speaker 1: be constantly critical with him. Biographer Alan strass Sham writes, quote,

794
00:44:18,719 --> 00:44:21,720
Speaker 1: no one can begin to understand Napoleon the third without

795
00:44:21,719 --> 00:44:25,040
Speaker 1: fully comprehending the significance of that negative father son relationship,

796
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 1: leaving a much battered ego and sense of self esteem

797
00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:31,759
Speaker 1: helplessly suppressed and humiliated by a twisted, unstable father. I

798
00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:34,520
Speaker 1: give you my heartfelt blessings, his father wrote, following a

799
00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:38,640
Speaker 1: son's first communion in April ninth one. I pray that

800
00:44:38,680 --> 00:44:40,800
Speaker 1: God gives you appear in grateful heart towards him, He

801
00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:42,560
Speaker 1: who was author of all that is good, and he

802
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:44,840
Speaker 1: sheds his light on you, even that you may fulfill

803
00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:47,520
Speaker 1: your duties to your country and your parents, and that

804
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:50,480
Speaker 1: you may understand the differences between right and wrong. This

805
00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:53,120
Speaker 1: was probably the most benevolent letter his father ever wrote.

806
00:44:53,280 --> 00:44:55,720
Speaker 1: It was to prove as rare as snows of the Sahara.

807
00:44:56,560 --> 00:45:01,280
Speaker 1: So A particularly fascinating ex ample of the relationship between

808
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:04,600
Speaker 1: these two guys comes in January of eighty nine, when,

809
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:07,680
Speaker 1: at age twenty one, Louis Napoleon who you know, he's

810
00:45:07,719 --> 00:45:10,279
Speaker 1: He's He's done a mandatory period of service in the

811
00:45:10,280 --> 00:45:12,520
Speaker 1: Swiss military at this point, he's going to become an

812
00:45:12,560 --> 00:45:15,359
Speaker 1: officer there. Eventually he decides he might want to take

813
00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:17,960
Speaker 1: up a military career as a more permanent thing. Now,

814
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:21,200
Speaker 1: this is obviously the Bonaparte family business. His father's a

815
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:23,799
Speaker 1: very good general, his uncle's the best of all time.

816
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:26,800
Speaker 1: And you might think Louis Bonaparte would have approved his

817
00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:30,000
Speaker 1: son joining the military, But Louis has just fought through

818
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:34,040
Speaker 1: the worst war maybe in human history up to that point, um,

819
00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:39,280
Speaker 1: and he's kind of been like traumatized by it. He's yeah,

820
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:42,759
Speaker 1: but yeah, So his son, Louis Napoleon wants to join

821
00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:45,680
Speaker 1: the Russian army, and this has opened him because the czar,

822
00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:47,320
Speaker 1: you know, it's close with his mom, right, this is

823
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:49,600
Speaker 1: a thing that he can work out. He's got the ring,

824
00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:52,840
Speaker 1: He's like the ring. Yeah, I just want to serve.

825
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:55,560
Speaker 1: At the moment, the Russians are kind of fighting one

826
00:45:55,560 --> 00:45:58,120
Speaker 1: of their brutal, grinding wars against the Turks and the

827
00:45:58,160 --> 00:46:01,880
Speaker 1: Balkans and the Black Sea area, and Louis Napoleon writes

828
00:46:01,920 --> 00:46:04,759
Speaker 1: back or Louis Bonaparte writes back to Louis Napoleon that

829
00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:09,000
Speaker 1: while fighting Muslim barbarians is an honorable task, it's not

830
00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:12,440
Speaker 1: honorable the way his son plans to do it. He writes, quote,

831
00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:15,360
Speaker 1: to be share, nothing is finer than military glory, to

832
00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:18,000
Speaker 1: know that everyone is talking about you, To command armies

833
00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:20,000
Speaker 1: and to be in a position to change the destinies

834
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:22,759
Speaker 1: of people in nations. All of that, of course, is fine,

835
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:27,319
Speaker 1: and attractive and cannot but excite a young gentleman's imagination. Unfortunately,

836
00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:30,520
Speaker 1: one must also face a very real truth, one quite

837
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:33,200
Speaker 1: contrary to that noble view, and that is, at all, war,

838
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:36,000
Speaker 1: apart from that of legitimate self defense of one home,

839
00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:38,759
Speaker 1: one's home and nation, is in fact nothing but the

840
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:41,640
Speaker 1: act of a barbarian, which is only distinguished from that

841
00:46:41,680 --> 00:46:45,440
Speaker 1: of savages and wild beasts by more satisfactory lies. Regarding

842
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:49,200
Speaker 1: its alleged necessity, His father continues that he should never

843
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:52,000
Speaker 1: forget quote one must only go to war and fight

844
00:46:52,080 --> 00:46:55,080
Speaker 1: for his own country and for no others. Anyone who

845
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:58,719
Speaker 1: acts otherwise is just a mercenary acting on contrived motives,

846
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:02,480
Speaker 1: or else is simply bloody minded. Which is like the

847
00:47:02,520 --> 00:47:05,920
Speaker 1: most reasonable thing anyone's ever going to say to this kid. Yeah,

848
00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:11,040
Speaker 1: it's like, uh, and bro, you of all the like

849
00:47:11,160 --> 00:47:15,160
Speaker 1: countries to join, You're gonna join Russia to fight in

850
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:19,400
Speaker 1: the Balkans. It just seems like bray do to soldiers

851
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:22,680
Speaker 1: in Russia there, they're not even people. They just end

852
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:24,799
Speaker 1: up going, you know what they do in the Balkans,

853
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:29,399
Speaker 1: like just like it's nothing but like just to throw

854
00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:34,520
Speaker 1: people at the other people. They literally are ammo people.

855
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:36,719
Speaker 1: I like that, and I find interesting that because Louis

856
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:38,719
Speaker 1: Napoleon is like he starts as being like, hey, man,

857
00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:41,759
Speaker 1: I have been a famous general in the command of

858
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:45,239
Speaker 1: the most famous military leader in history. I know. It's addictive.

859
00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:48,160
Speaker 1: It's incredible to feel that kind of power and to

860
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:51,160
Speaker 1: feel like you're the center of the world's attention. But

861
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:53,520
Speaker 1: it's also evil. And at the end of the day,

862
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:56,560
Speaker 1: anyone who says that what we were doing, anyone who

863
00:47:56,600 --> 00:47:58,680
Speaker 1: says that what anyone's doing in that is anything but

864
00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:03,040
Speaker 1: like butchery is is a liar. Um. That's it's kind

865
00:48:03,040 --> 00:48:06,000
Speaker 1: of cool that he not only recognizes that but finds

866
00:48:06,040 --> 00:48:08,160
Speaker 1: it so important to try to get this across to

867
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:11,440
Speaker 1: his son. Yeah. Yeah, and he doesn't, you know, in

868
00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:15,360
Speaker 1: sort of a secure circuitest way where he's just like, no,

869
00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:18,439
Speaker 1: don't you don't want to fight for some other country.

870
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:21,319
Speaker 1: You know, if you if you have to do barbarism,

871
00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:27,600
Speaker 1: you gotta do it for for France. I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, anyway, um,

872
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:31,200
Speaker 1: And Louis Napoleon he listens for now. He does not

873
00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:34,120
Speaker 1: join the Russian army, but he's gonna be too much

874
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:36,480
Speaker 1: of a Bonaparte to stay away from the action in

875
00:48:36,560 --> 00:48:39,439
Speaker 1: the pages of history for very long. So while he's

876
00:48:39,520 --> 00:48:43,480
Speaker 1: muttering about his uncle's successor on the French throne, decides

877
00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:46,120
Speaker 1: to set up a military adventure of his own. And

878
00:48:46,120 --> 00:48:50,359
Speaker 1: this is I think Charles the tenth is the French

879
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:53,720
Speaker 1: king at this point he invades Algeria on the advice

880
00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:57,520
Speaker 1: of his prime minister. Now look at a map of

881
00:48:57,560 --> 00:49:02,000
Speaker 1: Algeria in relation to France. This there's no reason for France.

882
00:49:02,120 --> 00:49:05,080
Speaker 1: France is not threatened by Algeria. Right, This is not

883
00:49:05,160 --> 00:49:07,959
Speaker 1: a This is not like a France and Germany going

884
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:10,120
Speaker 1: to war because they're afraid one is the kind of

885
00:49:10,360 --> 00:49:15,480
Speaker 1: like this is pure colonial adventurism, right, Um. It is

886
00:49:15,760 --> 00:49:18,200
Speaker 1: Algeria at this point is an Ottoman province and the

887
00:49:18,239 --> 00:49:21,280
Speaker 1: Ottomans leave it be like it's part of the Ottoman Empire.

888
00:49:21,480 --> 00:49:23,960
Speaker 1: They don't govern it in a meaningful way. There's like

889
00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:27,160
Speaker 1: a city there that they control in some trade routes,

890
00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:31,319
Speaker 1: but mostly it's just people living in Algeria who are like,

891
00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:37,360
Speaker 1: we're part of a country. What do you mean? Like, yeah, um,

892
00:49:37,440 --> 00:49:39,520
Speaker 1: why why are you trying to uh set up all

893
00:49:39,520 --> 00:49:45,560
Speaker 1: these d m vs everywhere? So the French people, um

894
00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:50,560
Speaker 1: are yeah, this is a complicated thing in France, right,

895
00:49:50,600 --> 00:49:53,120
Speaker 1: because there's still a lot of desire to be an

896
00:49:53,120 --> 00:49:56,360
Speaker 1: imperial power like all these other countries they see around them.

897
00:49:56,400 --> 00:50:02,520
Speaker 1: But also this seems like an expensive in dangerous gamble um.

898
00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:04,560
Speaker 1: And they're also the French people are kind of pissed

899
00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:08,040
Speaker 1: at Charles the Tenth because he is kind of a revanchist. Right,

900
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:10,880
Speaker 1: he's on the side of the divine right of kings, folks.

901
00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:12,800
Speaker 1: One of the first things he does is he reduces

902
00:50:12,840 --> 00:50:15,399
Speaker 1: the size of the eligible French elector at the number

903
00:50:15,440 --> 00:50:18,439
Speaker 1: of French people who get to vote for parliament from

904
00:50:18,480 --> 00:50:20,799
Speaker 1: five million men to just twenty five thousand, So he

905
00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:25,120
Speaker 1: effectively turns it into only the very wealthiest people have

906
00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:28,000
Speaker 1: any kind of a vote. And he's hoping the part

907
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,719
Speaker 1: of why he invades Algeria is he's hoping it's going

908
00:50:30,760 --> 00:50:33,520
Speaker 1: to distract from this. But the ward does not does

909
00:50:33,520 --> 00:50:36,719
Speaker 1: not go well. It turns into I mean, we all

910
00:50:36,760 --> 00:50:40,560
Speaker 1: know this, right, it's like an Afghanistan kind of situation. Um,

911
00:50:40,600 --> 00:50:42,560
Speaker 1: it's it's it's the kind of thing that like U

912
00:50:42,640 --> 00:50:46,359
Speaker 1: s citizens and Russian citizens now are very familiar with. Right.

913
00:50:46,560 --> 00:50:49,319
Speaker 1: He invades the country and realizes this is going to

914
00:50:49,560 --> 00:50:55,000
Speaker 1: be a continuing problem. Um, they take age. They literally

915
00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:59,880
Speaker 1: stay there till the sixties. There they are, they are,

916
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:03,879
Speaker 1: they are more than a hundred years and they never

917
00:51:04,040 --> 00:51:06,640
Speaker 1: have a great handle on the country. No, it never

918
00:51:06,680 --> 00:51:08,920
Speaker 1: goes well. But they're just like, I don't know, dude,

919
00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:12,360
Speaker 1: one of them kings fucking you know, did it like

920
00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:17,160
Speaker 1: in order to win on election or something to show

921
00:51:17,160 --> 00:51:19,640
Speaker 1: you how bad the ship goes For Charles the tenth,

922
00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:22,399
Speaker 1: he declares victory. I think when his troops take out

923
00:51:22,480 --> 00:51:25,400
Speaker 1: years on July five, and on August the second he

924
00:51:25,440 --> 00:51:28,200
Speaker 1: abdicates and flees the country ahead of an angry mop

925
00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:33,239
Speaker 1: So not a great time if you're if you if

926
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:36,319
Speaker 1: you're like watching videos ever of like people rioting in

927
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:38,480
Speaker 1: Paris and like beating the ship out of cops and

928
00:51:38,520 --> 00:51:40,880
Speaker 1: being like, how did France get so good at rioting?

929
00:51:41,520 --> 00:51:45,560
Speaker 1: They've been doing they have they have been doing it.

930
00:51:45,600 --> 00:51:48,200
Speaker 1: They have kicked a lot of governments out of the country.

931
00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:51,120
Speaker 1: That is their thing. Like they got like just they

932
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:55,920
Speaker 1: have years and years of barricade building experience, centuries of

933
00:51:55,960 --> 00:51:59,000
Speaker 1: institutional knowledge of how to funk up troops in the

934
00:51:59,080 --> 00:52:05,400
Speaker 1: city rules. Although I think it was Louis uh Napoleon

935
00:52:05,960 --> 00:52:08,680
Speaker 1: and the Napoleon the third who kind of sucked it up.

936
00:52:09,040 --> 00:52:12,360
Speaker 1: He does, he does is part of the story. Yeah,

937
00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:16,480
Speaker 1: So things being what they were, France gets a new king.

938
00:52:16,680 --> 00:52:19,480
Speaker 1: This one is a member of the Orleans family or

939
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:23,080
Speaker 1: Leon or Leon, which means they are relatively related to

940
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:29,880
Speaker 1: King Leopold, Leopold the second and both. Look, there's a

941
00:52:29,880 --> 00:52:31,920
Speaker 1: lot of fact, a lot of names. I gotta keep

942
00:52:31,960 --> 00:52:34,600
Speaker 1: track of, right to remember. I was like Belgian Belgium,

943
00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:40,320
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh yeah, yeah, African Congo and ship. Yeah, Leopolds.

944
00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:44,359
Speaker 1: He was named Louis or he is he is, He's

945
00:52:44,440 --> 00:52:47,440
Speaker 1: King Louis Philippe. The king who takes over France is

946
00:52:47,480 --> 00:52:54,160
Speaker 1: Louis Philippe related to King Leopold. So some more original

947
00:52:54,280 --> 00:52:58,239
Speaker 1: names people. He does not end the occupation of Algeria.

948
00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:01,280
Speaker 1: The well to do Assles, who had urged the invasion,

949
00:53:01,400 --> 00:53:04,560
Speaker 1: insisted that the only thing France could not do was retreat.

950
00:53:05,080 --> 00:53:07,680
Speaker 1: Everyone else kind of assumed that eventually ship would get

951
00:53:07,719 --> 00:53:09,799
Speaker 1: worked out. But a hundred years later, France is still

952
00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:12,600
Speaker 1: fighting in Algeria, which goes to show you how why

953
00:53:12,640 --> 00:53:16,120
Speaker 1: is that logic? Usually is the occupation would cost hundreds

954
00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:19,320
Speaker 1: of thousands of people their lives and nearly destroy France

955
00:53:19,320 --> 00:53:21,600
Speaker 1: as a political entity. They basically have a revolution over

956
00:53:21,640 --> 00:53:25,760
Speaker 1: this at one point um after, Like Louis, Napoleon obviously

957
00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:27,279
Speaker 1: does not know any of that's going to happen. It's

958
00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:30,320
Speaker 1: well in the future, and he is focused on Northern Italy.

959
00:53:30,680 --> 00:53:34,359
Speaker 1: So northern Italy when Napoleon Bonaparte is running around gets

960
00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:38,600
Speaker 1: liberated from Austrian domination, but it gets returned to Austrian

961
00:53:38,640 --> 00:53:41,160
Speaker 1: domination by the Allies after Bonaparte loses, and a lot

962
00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:43,880
Speaker 1: of Italians are not happy with this. They there's a

963
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:46,560
Speaker 1: dream of making Italy be its own kind of independent

964
00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:48,920
Speaker 1: political entity, which it had not been for quite a

965
00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:52,279
Speaker 1: long time. Um So, some of these guys form an

966
00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:56,280
Speaker 1: insurgent army in northern Italy called the Carbonari and Louis

967
00:53:56,360 --> 00:54:01,160
Speaker 1: Napoleon and his older brother Napoleon Louis Uh both moved

968
00:54:01,200 --> 00:54:04,239
Speaker 1: to Rome. God, I hate the names. I'm sorry so much.

969
00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:07,120
Speaker 1: They probably got confused themselves, like which what am I

970
00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:11,840
Speaker 1: am I? Or Tamara Leuis Napoleon is our guy his

971
00:54:11,920 --> 00:54:14,839
Speaker 1: older brothers Napoleon Lewis. They both moved to Rome and

972
00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:18,600
Speaker 1: become active in the Carbonari cause their cell gets found

973
00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:21,520
Speaker 1: out and busted. They're not great at being stealthy, right

974
00:54:21,600 --> 00:54:24,839
Speaker 1: they are. They are the heirs to Napoleon Bonaparte. It's

975
00:54:24,840 --> 00:54:26,560
Speaker 1: hard for them to just kind of move around and

976
00:54:26,600 --> 00:54:30,000
Speaker 1: not attract attention. Again, everyone kind of keeps an eye

977
00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:33,400
Speaker 1: on what Bonapartes are doing. Yeah, you're like, you know,

978
00:54:34,280 --> 00:54:39,319
Speaker 1: you're wearing a full on like Napoleonic military guard right now.

979
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:42,360
Speaker 1: It's like a secret sec It's like if a Hitler

980
00:54:42,400 --> 00:54:45,440
Speaker 1: moved into your neighborhood, right like, obviously a hitler today.

981
00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:48,920
Speaker 1: There's nothing, they're not responsible for anything, but you would

982
00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:52,680
Speaker 1: keep an eye on that, you know who your local hitlers. Yeah,

983
00:54:52,719 --> 00:54:54,760
Speaker 1: I know, you keep an eye on your local hitlers.

984
00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:57,080
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not going to not pay attention to

985
00:54:57,120 --> 00:55:01,160
Speaker 1: what the hitlers are doing in Pari rule view. Just

986
00:55:01,360 --> 00:55:03,279
Speaker 1: looked to the side of my eye, make sure they're

987
00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:06,400
Speaker 1: not doing anything weird. Yeah, yeah, just just keep a

988
00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:11,680
Speaker 1: goddamn eye on them. Um So, anyway, the cell gets

989
00:55:11,719 --> 00:55:15,239
Speaker 1: found out busted in the Napoleon's brother the Napoleon. The

990
00:55:15,320 --> 00:55:18,760
Speaker 1: brothers Napoleon and their friends were forced out of Italy

991
00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:22,240
Speaker 1: barely ahead of the Austrian secret police because nobody trusts

992
00:55:22,239 --> 00:55:24,360
Speaker 1: the Bonapartes the entirety of his family, because a lot

993
00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:27,320
Speaker 1: of his families moved to Italy at this point, including

994
00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:29,440
Speaker 1: his mother and his uncle Jerome. They all left to

995
00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:34,080
Speaker 1: flee as well. Because the Napoleon boys get caught trying

996
00:55:34,120 --> 00:55:39,279
Speaker 1: to overthrow the Austrian government. UM. So none of them

997
00:55:39,320 --> 00:55:41,560
Speaker 1: are thrilled with this because they're all old. They don't

998
00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:43,160
Speaker 1: want to deal with this ship. They don't want to

999
00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:47,880
Speaker 1: overthrow the the Austrian regime in Italy. Um, their lives

1000
00:55:47,920 --> 00:55:51,440
Speaker 1: get up ended. Uh and Louis and his brother Napoleon

1001
00:55:51,520 --> 00:55:55,400
Speaker 1: Louis Lewis. Napoleon and Napoleon Lewis joined larger groups of

1002
00:55:55,440 --> 00:55:58,640
Speaker 1: Carbonari who are like trying to execute a march on Rome.

1003
00:55:58,719 --> 00:56:00,759
Speaker 1: Basically when this purge had beends, a bunch of them

1004
00:56:00,840 --> 00:56:03,399
Speaker 1: arm up and they try to like do they're kind

1005
00:56:03,400 --> 00:56:06,000
Speaker 1: of before Mussolini trying to do the march on Rome

1006
00:56:06,200 --> 00:56:09,279
Speaker 1: kind of thing. And Louis Napoleon sends a letter back

1007
00:56:09,320 --> 00:56:12,520
Speaker 1: to his father saying, quote this, the enthusiasm one finds

1008
00:56:12,520 --> 00:56:15,200
Speaker 1: here is simply grand. The army of this army of

1009
00:56:15,239 --> 00:56:20,160
Speaker 1: patriots is now marching on Rome. Now Obviously, Louis Bonaparte

1010
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:22,520
Speaker 1: does not approve of this. Again, He's like, don't fight

1011
00:56:22,600 --> 00:56:25,120
Speaker 1: anything but a defensive war and don't leave your country

1012
00:56:25,160 --> 00:56:28,000
Speaker 1: to fight for somewhere else. That's his opinion. Um, he

1013
00:56:28,040 --> 00:56:31,279
Speaker 1: condemns the measure, and he is absolutely right. This is

1014
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:35,840
Speaker 1: a terrible idea. So the Carbonari it doesn't. Things do

1015
00:56:35,880 --> 00:56:39,040
Speaker 1: not go well for them, And after all the fucking

1016
00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:42,520
Speaker 1: ship is done, Louis Napoleon and his brother Napoleon Lewis

1017
00:56:42,560 --> 00:56:44,480
Speaker 1: wind up in a city called four lea kind of

1018
00:56:44,560 --> 00:56:47,800
Speaker 1: hiding out there while it has a horrific measles epidemic,

1019
00:56:47,880 --> 00:56:49,960
Speaker 1: probably brought on in part by all of the people

1020
00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:54,040
Speaker 1: moving around and you know, revolutionaries and ship. So his

1021
00:56:54,120 --> 00:56:57,399
Speaker 1: older brother gets sick on March eleven, eight thirty one,

1022
00:56:57,480 --> 00:57:03,400
Speaker 1: and is dead by March seventeen teen. He dies of

1023
00:57:03,560 --> 00:57:08,000
Speaker 1: measles after trying to free Italy from Austrian domination. This

1024
00:57:08,120 --> 00:57:12,600
Speaker 1: now makes Louis Napoleon technically the heir to Napoleon Bonaparte emperor.

1025
00:57:12,960 --> 00:57:17,440
Speaker 1: Now this is obviously very sad for the whole Bonaparte family. Um,

1026
00:57:17,600 --> 00:57:20,200
Speaker 1: Louis's first grand attempt at being a hero has got

1027
00:57:20,240 --> 00:57:23,000
Speaker 1: has gotten his older brother killed, but it also leads

1028
00:57:23,080 --> 00:57:25,360
Speaker 1: him to return to French territory for the first time

1029
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:27,120
Speaker 1: in his adult life because he and his mother have

1030
00:57:27,200 --> 00:57:29,400
Speaker 1: to flee the ship out of Italy, and despite the

1031
00:57:29,440 --> 00:57:32,640
Speaker 1: fact that King Louis Philippe has banned all bonapartes from France,

1032
00:57:32,880 --> 00:57:35,880
Speaker 1: he allows Louis Napoleon and his mother to stay basically

1033
00:57:35,920 --> 00:57:38,600
Speaker 1: just kind of out of sympathy, like, well, your brother's dead,

1034
00:57:38,680 --> 00:57:41,360
Speaker 1: like you guys got kicked out of and like Louis

1035
00:57:41,360 --> 00:57:45,000
Speaker 1: Philippe is kind of sympathetic to the Italian national causes.

1036
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:47,400
Speaker 1: Most French people are right because the Austrians are their

1037
00:57:47,440 --> 00:57:49,760
Speaker 1: big enemies. So he's like, you guys can crash it.

1038
00:57:49,880 --> 00:57:52,520
Speaker 1: Just keep quiet, don't tell anybody that you're here, and

1039
00:57:52,560 --> 00:57:58,520
Speaker 1: I'm trying to right and briefly, Louis Napoleon is like

1040
00:57:58,640 --> 00:58:01,240
Speaker 1: overwhelmed with gratitude for this, and so he asks for

1041
00:58:01,280 --> 00:58:04,560
Speaker 1: permission to join the French military and the King is like, yeah,

1042
00:58:04,600 --> 00:58:07,000
Speaker 1: you can join the French military, but we kind of

1043
00:58:07,000 --> 00:58:09,640
Speaker 1: have an issue with bonapartes being in the French military,

1044
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:12,200
Speaker 1: so you can do it as long as you don't

1045
00:58:12,440 --> 00:58:14,560
Speaker 1: use your real name, and he agrees to make him

1046
00:58:14,600 --> 00:58:18,080
Speaker 1: account of something under a different name. But Louis Napoleon

1047
00:58:18,160 --> 00:58:20,600
Speaker 1: takes this as an insult, and he tells the king quote,

1048
00:58:20,600 --> 00:58:22,680
Speaker 1: I should prefer to be laid out with my brother

1049
00:58:22,720 --> 00:58:25,960
Speaker 1: in his coffin first, And he proceeds to like insult

1050
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:29,520
Speaker 1: the king enough that he has to flee the country. Uh,

1051
00:58:29,760 --> 00:58:34,240
Speaker 1: such a bit, such a little It's just like no

1052
00:58:34,280 --> 00:58:37,120
Speaker 1: matter where he goes, He's like, I will flee. I

1053
00:58:37,160 --> 00:58:40,080
Speaker 1: don't give a funk. I'll say what. I don't give

1054
00:58:40,080 --> 00:58:44,320
Speaker 1: a ship BROI I got so many castles to crash in.

1055
00:58:45,120 --> 00:58:48,960
Speaker 1: So he winds up in fucking London. Um. And for

1056
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:52,240
Speaker 1: the next few years Louis bounces around London and Switzerland.

1057
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:54,320
Speaker 1: He publishes a couple of books, one on the use

1058
00:58:54,360 --> 00:58:57,000
Speaker 1: of artillery and another on the history of his father's

1059
00:58:57,080 --> 00:59:00,240
Speaker 1: rule in France and his uncle's rule in Holland, or

1060
00:59:00,560 --> 00:59:03,880
Speaker 1: his father's ruland Holland and his uncle's ruland France. Um.

1061
00:59:03,960 --> 00:59:06,959
Speaker 1: He sends his dad, Louis Bonaparte, copies of this book

1062
00:59:07,040 --> 00:59:10,680
Speaker 1: about like Louis and Napoleon Bonaparte, and his dad is

1063
00:59:10,840 --> 00:59:14,560
Speaker 1: furious about this writing quote at the political policies of

1064
00:59:14,600 --> 00:59:16,520
Speaker 1: the head of your family of a man such as

1065
00:59:16,560 --> 00:59:19,360
Speaker 1: the Emperor be superficially judged by a mere young man

1066
00:59:19,440 --> 00:59:23,480
Speaker 1: of twenty four. Who are you to fucking write about

1067
00:59:23,520 --> 00:59:26,760
Speaker 1: what I did? Fuck you kid, you don't know ship

1068
00:59:26,960 --> 00:59:31,960
Speaker 1: you're too young. Uh yeah, I love it. It's basically

1069
00:59:32,080 --> 00:59:35,960
Speaker 1: very funny. It is. It's very funny. Um So Louis

1070
00:59:36,040 --> 00:59:38,760
Speaker 1: is heartbroken, but the Swiss Army promotes him to captain

1071
00:59:38,840 --> 00:59:41,640
Speaker 1: over his books about artillery. So maybe his dad was

1072
00:59:41,680 --> 00:59:43,880
Speaker 1: being a dick here, or maybe the Swiss Army doesn't

1073
00:59:43,880 --> 00:59:46,480
Speaker 1: know anything about artillery. You know who does know a

1074
00:59:46,480 --> 00:59:52,360
Speaker 1: lot about artillery? Oh? Is it the Blake Superrier. It's

1075
00:59:52,400 --> 00:59:57,360
Speaker 1: about to it's fucking about to, Matt. Hell yeah, let's

1076
00:59:57,360 --> 01:00:06,840
Speaker 1: blow it up. We're back, and we're talking about the

1077
01:00:06,960 --> 01:00:11,000
Speaker 1: Davy Crockett, which was a handheld nuclear rocket that a

1078
01:00:11,080 --> 01:00:14,040
Speaker 1: guy could just shoot at a thing and it'll kill you.

1079
01:00:14,160 --> 01:00:17,040
Speaker 1: Right you shoot you shoot a David Crockett. You're probably

1080
01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:19,160
Speaker 1: not making it. I think the plan was for them

1081
01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:22,360
Speaker 1: to rear up in a motorcycle, fire it, and then

1082
01:00:22,400 --> 01:00:25,720
Speaker 1: fucking book it back as fast as possible. I had

1083
01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:28,520
Speaker 1: to be a really fast motorcycle. What a funny thing

1084
01:00:28,680 --> 01:00:30,800
Speaker 1: like an like when people are just like they're just

1085
01:00:30,920 --> 01:00:33,760
Speaker 1: spitballing how nuclear war is gonna work? What do we

1086
01:00:33,800 --> 01:00:36,800
Speaker 1: do have guys and motorcycles and nuke in folks like,

1087
01:00:36,920 --> 01:00:41,760
Speaker 1: let's give it a shot, but a hat on top

1088
01:00:41,800 --> 01:00:47,440
Speaker 1: of it. It is so goddamn funny. Anyway, we should

1089
01:00:47,480 --> 01:00:49,920
Speaker 1: do that too. I don't know what's the smallest to

1090
01:00:49,960 --> 01:00:54,919
Speaker 1: the Great Lake, Sophie. You're the expert Erie. That's my aerie. Yeah,

1091
01:00:54,960 --> 01:00:57,760
Speaker 1: well that's how Well, that's how we'll drop Lake Erie

1092
01:00:59,200 --> 01:01:02,680
Speaker 1: on the Great because you're near you've lived in Michigan.

1093
01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:10,200
Speaker 1: I've never lived there because I have family from Michigan. Okay,

1094
01:01:10,480 --> 01:01:13,320
Speaker 1: that's the same, Yeah, exactly, And it's and it's not

1095
01:01:13,440 --> 01:01:18,680
Speaker 1: like Erie. It's like anyway, Ontario, there's an Ontario lake.

1096
01:01:18,880 --> 01:01:23,960
Speaker 1: Lake Ontario is the smallest. There's too many seven square miles.

1097
01:01:24,160 --> 01:01:25,760
Speaker 1: Do you know that off the top of your head

1098
01:01:25,840 --> 01:01:28,880
Speaker 1: or did you just do a quick You'll never fucking no, Matt,

1099
01:01:29,600 --> 01:01:34,720
Speaker 1: because that was incredible. I'm gonna assume you know off

1100
01:01:34,760 --> 01:01:38,040
Speaker 1: the top of your head. Yeah, I'm that good. Isn't

1101
01:01:38,040 --> 01:01:44,240
Speaker 1: that right? Snoop from the wire? There we go, she says.

1102
01:01:46,080 --> 01:01:48,919
Speaker 1: She might have said Europe. Anyways, back to the war

1103
01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:54,720
Speaker 1: and yeah anyway, um, yeah, back to the war in Europe.

1104
01:01:54,800 --> 01:02:00,760
Speaker 1: So things are you know rough for Lewis Napoleon. His

1105
01:02:00,840 --> 01:02:04,720
Speaker 1: dad has has has just rejected him, um you know.

1106
01:02:04,840 --> 01:02:07,320
Speaker 1: And in fact, his dad when his dad writes back

1107
01:02:07,360 --> 01:02:10,920
Speaker 1: that he doesn't like his kid's book, Louis Napoleon stops

1108
01:02:10,960 --> 01:02:15,080
Speaker 1: responding or to his father's letters for six months. Um.

1109
01:02:15,120 --> 01:02:17,680
Speaker 1: He finally does reply to one in eighteen thirty five

1110
01:02:17,800 --> 01:02:21,560
Speaker 1: that says, Papa, I receive your harsh words so very

1111
01:02:21,600 --> 01:02:24,760
Speaker 1: often that I should be quite used to them by now. Regardless,

1112
01:02:24,960 --> 01:02:27,680
Speaker 1: every new reproach by you does indeed wound me, and

1113
01:02:27,720 --> 01:02:33,000
Speaker 1: as painfully as on the very first occasion. Again, maybe

1114
01:02:33,000 --> 01:02:35,640
Speaker 1: his dad's a dick for not praising the book or whatever.

1115
01:02:35,720 --> 01:02:37,880
Speaker 1: He probably should have encouraged that. But most of what

1116
01:02:37,960 --> 01:02:40,880
Speaker 1: his dad saying is like, don't just join the army

1117
01:02:40,920 --> 01:02:43,560
Speaker 1: to go fucking fight in a war. It's bad. Like

1118
01:02:43,600 --> 01:02:46,760
Speaker 1: that's like, don't, don't don't do just do don't just

1119
01:02:46,800 --> 01:02:49,600
Speaker 1: like funk around with other people's lives and guns because

1120
01:02:49,600 --> 01:02:53,760
Speaker 1: it looks cool. It's it's like Dad like could tell

1121
01:02:53,800 --> 01:02:57,200
Speaker 1: that his son was like the biggest poser. Yeah, yeah,

1122
01:02:57,240 --> 01:02:59,960
Speaker 1: we're gonna have a problem with this kid. I should

1123
01:03:00,040 --> 01:03:03,360
Speaker 1: is a fucking poser, but like just all of our

1124
01:03:03,480 --> 01:03:06,760
Speaker 1: worst instincts, he thinks are cool and we've got he's

1125
01:03:06,760 --> 01:03:10,320
Speaker 1: got the Bonaparte blood, and boy were we can be problems.

1126
01:03:10,400 --> 01:03:13,720
Speaker 1: I know it. I can admit that now. Yeah, we

1127
01:03:14,000 --> 01:03:17,440
Speaker 1: we have some issues and we really don't want this

1128
01:03:17,480 --> 01:03:21,920
Speaker 1: guy being encouraged. Let's just say that much so. In

1129
01:03:21,960 --> 01:03:25,480
Speaker 1: the summer of that year, Louis Napoleon meets a man

1130
01:03:25,600 --> 01:03:28,400
Speaker 1: who would set his life on a purposeful track. And

1131
01:03:28,400 --> 01:03:33,040
Speaker 1: this guy's name is Jean Gilbert Victor Fialen, better known

1132
01:03:33,120 --> 01:03:36,560
Speaker 1: as Gilbert Persigny. Can I just say brave new name?

1133
01:03:38,160 --> 01:03:42,000
Speaker 1: Gilbert Persigny. Anyway, He's the son of a tax collector

1134
01:03:42,120 --> 01:03:44,520
Speaker 1: and a former in CEO in the French Army who

1135
01:03:44,600 --> 01:03:46,560
Speaker 1: had been forced out of the army because he was

1136
01:03:46,640 --> 01:03:50,000
Speaker 1: a Republican right uh. He'd taken to work as a journalist,

1137
01:03:50,080 --> 01:03:53,080
Speaker 1: where he had become kind of a propagandist for the

1138
01:03:53,080 --> 01:03:57,520
Speaker 1: Bonapartist cause. He befriends Louis largely because he's really good

1139
01:03:57,560 --> 01:04:00,560
Speaker 1: at at kissing Louis's ass and shut up when his

1140
01:04:00,640 --> 01:04:03,640
Speaker 1: social betters start talking. He basically only speaks up to

1141
01:04:03,680 --> 01:04:05,800
Speaker 1: tell Louis how cool the Bonapartes are and how they

1142
01:04:05,840 --> 01:04:09,240
Speaker 1: definitely should become the emperors of France again. I love it.

1143
01:04:09,360 --> 01:04:13,000
Speaker 1: He's like the turtle from Entourage of like the Bonus. Yeah,

1144
01:04:13,080 --> 01:04:16,960
Speaker 1: and he but he also he kind of convinces Louis,

1145
01:04:17,520 --> 01:04:20,520
Speaker 1: Louis Napoleon that like the King of France is misruling

1146
01:04:20,560 --> 01:04:23,040
Speaker 1: the country and the French people are hungry for a

1147
01:04:23,120 --> 01:04:26,040
Speaker 1: lunapart to take power again. And he's not wrong and

1148
01:04:26,160 --> 01:04:29,760
Speaker 1: he is not gonna be wrong. So we will be

1149
01:04:29,800 --> 01:04:33,560
Speaker 1: talking about everything that happens after that in part do

1150
01:04:34,160 --> 01:04:38,800
Speaker 1: that's the French, right, That's how that's French assholes. What

1151
01:04:38,880 --> 01:04:43,120
Speaker 1: a bunch of assholes. The word two means you. It's like,

1152
01:04:43,400 --> 01:04:48,480
Speaker 1: come on, it's nonsense, nonsense language. It just makes no sense.

1153
01:04:48,520 --> 01:04:55,320
Speaker 1: Isn't that right, Bunk, That's what French sounds like. Uh,

1154
01:04:56,840 --> 01:04:58,920
Speaker 1: you love to see somebody fucked up when they gave

1155
01:04:58,960 --> 01:05:02,880
Speaker 1: you that power, Matt, They did, and they fuck up. No,

1156
01:05:03,120 --> 01:05:05,640
Speaker 1: that's actually what Kanye was talking about when he said

1157
01:05:05,680 --> 01:05:08,440
Speaker 1: no one man should have all that power. Yes, he

1158
01:05:08,520 --> 01:05:18,760
Speaker 1: was talking about true people ship. I just love that.

1159
01:05:19,160 --> 01:05:22,800
Speaker 1: It's just like he went full anti Semite and I'm like,

1160
01:05:22,880 --> 01:05:26,920
Speaker 1: oh boy, you know I gotta have him on the soundboard.

1161
01:05:28,240 --> 01:05:31,480
Speaker 1: It's like time it's been for for Kanye, for Elon

1162
01:05:33,040 --> 01:05:35,760
Speaker 1: Trump quite a month or two. Yeah, it's been an

1163
01:05:35,760 --> 01:05:41,000
Speaker 1: interesting time for neo fascists all around. Um yeah, it's

1164
01:05:41,040 --> 01:05:44,480
Speaker 1: gonna be interesting to see where the soul goes. Speaking

1165
01:05:44,520 --> 01:05:48,080
Speaker 1: of where the soul goes, you should go watch The

1166
01:05:48,160 --> 01:05:51,760
Speaker 1: Wire and then you should go watch The Wire and

1167
01:05:51,800 --> 01:05:55,320
Speaker 1: then let out. Yeah, listen to my podcast pod yourself,

1168
01:05:55,320 --> 01:05:57,760
Speaker 1: The Wire, the Greatest The Wire, the only the Wire

1169
01:05:57,760 --> 01:06:00,560
Speaker 1: podcast ever. And um, I just had a bay and

1170
01:06:00,680 --> 01:06:02,200
Speaker 1: all I want is for you to give us five

1171
01:06:02,240 --> 01:06:05,120
Speaker 1: stars in a review and listen to it. Listen. If

1172
01:06:05,160 --> 01:06:08,360
Speaker 1: you thought Prince Charles in the latest season of The

1173
01:06:08,400 --> 01:06:12,480
Speaker 1: Crown was too hot, watch The Wire and give h

1174
01:06:12,560 --> 01:06:16,040
Speaker 1: Matt five stars. That's right, he's even more hot in

1175
01:06:16,080 --> 01:06:19,840
Speaker 1: the Wire. And he plays a Baltimore irishman with a

1176
01:06:19,880 --> 01:06:23,640
Speaker 1: weird accent, very weird accent. Yeah, he should have just

1177
01:06:23,680 --> 01:06:30,960
Speaker 1: gone with It's me McNulty, isn't He's he's motherfucking playing

1178
01:06:31,080 --> 01:06:36,840
Speaker 1: Prince Charles in some shows. For joining the chat. We've

1179
01:06:36,880 --> 01:06:40,919
Speaker 1: had this conversation twice on this episode. We've also had

1180
01:06:40,960 --> 01:06:44,400
Speaker 1: this chat in the media group text when I said

1181
01:06:44,480 --> 01:06:49,080
Speaker 1: multiple articles being like, this is not right. He loved McNulty,

1182
01:06:49,120 --> 01:06:54,640
Speaker 1: great Y McNulty, Prince McNulty. I'm for it. I'm for it.

1183
01:06:54,720 --> 01:06:56,680
Speaker 1: At first time I was against it because he's too hot,

1184
01:06:56,720 --> 01:06:58,440
Speaker 1: and then I watched and I was like, yeah, I

1185
01:06:58,480 --> 01:07:01,160
Speaker 1: like it. I can I can handle it. I do

1186
01:07:01,320 --> 01:07:03,840
Speaker 1: like that. They make sure to let you know that

1187
01:07:03,880 --> 01:07:10,080
Speaker 1: Prince Charles is much shorter than Diana. There's like they

1188
01:07:10,080 --> 01:07:13,400
Speaker 1: were like, no, no, no, we're not Hollywood. Iizing this

1189
01:07:13,400 --> 01:07:16,000
Speaker 1: this height change. Yes, we got to make him a

1190
01:07:16,040 --> 01:07:24,400
Speaker 1: little lass Man. Yeah, yeah, Robert anything, anything you want

1191
01:07:24,400 --> 01:07:29,880
Speaker 1: to play at the alright, everybody, we are doing it

1192
01:07:29,960 --> 01:07:37,400
Speaker 1: behind the Bastard's live stream virtual with Robert myself, the

1193
01:07:37,520 --> 01:07:42,760
Speaker 1: one and only Robert Killjoy. This will be happening December eight.

1194
01:07:42,920 --> 01:07:45,200
Speaker 1: You can get your tickets at moment house, dot co,

1195
01:07:45,440 --> 01:07:49,960
Speaker 1: slash b t B and we will link at all

1196
01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:53,360
Speaker 1: the appropriate places. It'll be a hoot. We're going to

1197
01:07:53,440 --> 01:07:56,320
Speaker 1: do an episode. We're gonna do a Q and a uh.

1198
01:07:56,360 --> 01:08:00,040
Speaker 1: Anything you'd like to add. Robert never know our so

1199
01:08:00,200 --> 01:08:02,840
Speaker 1: buy my book After the Revolution wherever the Funk you

1200
01:08:02,920 --> 01:08:05,560
Speaker 1: find books are on the a K Press website, but

1201
01:08:05,680 --> 01:08:07,880
Speaker 1: you know it's on everything. It's on all the book

1202
01:08:07,880 --> 01:08:10,840
Speaker 1: buying sites. Great, we'll be back, We sure will so.

1203
01:08:11,000 --> 01:08:11,680
Speaker 1: Gustopolies