Speaker 1: The one where taking my.
Speaker 2: We're gonna have to talk now. So thanks to listening
Speaker 2: to two cool moms. I'm Joe. Tell the people who
Speaker 2: you are, Steve.
Speaker 1: We're going Steve Burn, Steve Burn.
Speaker 2: Baby, Hello, Well we're two cool moms. Friend.
Speaker 1: You were just watching trailer for a summer movie.
Speaker 2: Summer movie. I love summer blockbuster season.
Speaker 1: My favorite. The minute I say summer blockbuster, what's the
Speaker 1: first movie that comes to my pendance?
Speaker 3: Day?
Speaker 1: Really, white, White and day.
Speaker 2: I just think it. I just did.
Speaker 1: Just that's the one that comes to mind.
Speaker 4: I guess it's also it's it's based in the summer,
Speaker 4: you know, fourth of July weekend. But yeah, yeah, that's
Speaker 4: that's one of the ones I really think. I mean,
Speaker 4: for a while, Will Smith on that market of summer blockbuster, Right,
Speaker 4: there's always one who all his films came out.
Speaker 1: I think now it's just a I don't know, facebuster.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know, I don't know what.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 4: When Stallone and Schwarzenegger were dropping there, they were like
Speaker 4: the big action here is there. Movies weren't necessarily summer
Speaker 4: movies though, they were just coming out when they came out, right, I.
Speaker 1: Don't remember I want to be in summer blockbuster.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. What did you? What about you
Speaker 2: for Blockbuster? Well, now it's all marvel, right, all the Marvels.
Speaker 2: They always kick off the season.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I mean, I I just
Speaker 1: think I don't know Jaws because there was the first
Speaker 1: one and I finished reading that book by the uh
Speaker 1: by the author. But yeah, that was the first summer
Speaker 1: blockbuster Jaws, was it?
Speaker 2: Really?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I did not know that.
Speaker 1: Because because films were not geared towards you know, uh
Speaker 1: being seasonal or anything like that. But now you see
Speaker 1: Star Wars films were being released in May, so just
Speaker 1: as kids getting out of school. So hopefully you have
Speaker 1: a long theatrical run with you made the fourth three
Speaker 1: with you, but then you have then because of scheduling
Speaker 1: with the last ones that they rebooted, they released them
Speaker 1: over the holidays. She get a strong holiday running the
Speaker 1: new year.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true too.
Speaker 4: That's a good time to drop drop a film, right, Well,
Speaker 4: if it's a family film. Yeah, the Halloween movies, I mean,
Speaker 4: you get all the horrors come out around then, so
Speaker 4: I can say there's a single, you get the rom
Speaker 4: comms are on Valentine's Day, Mother's Day run then right.
Speaker 1: But you just saw the flash trailer. What do you think,
Speaker 1: did youreve look great?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I'm gonna I'm gonna see it. I'm
Speaker 2: gonna see it.
Speaker 1: Definitely go see it. I just when I was watching,
Speaker 1: I was like, they cast Ezra Miller like a young boy,
Speaker 1: and then they showed the little boy and it's like,
Speaker 1: kid can't even run.
Speaker 2: Yeah, did you notice that?
Speaker 1: Like why would you cast a kid that like looks
Speaker 1: at him but it looks like he just learned to run?
Speaker 1: It like a like a newborn fawn, like like the kind.
Speaker 4: Of like the legs, the legs haven't liked. It's on
Speaker 4: the side of the Garden State Parkway, like what's going on?
Speaker 1: But it looks Look all those DC movies they always
Speaker 1: look they always look great. I was get excited and
Speaker 1: then you go and you're kind of like it was good. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I had written a summer blockbuster the beginning of it.
Speaker 4: This was pre nine to eleven, and I had done
Speaker 4: a summer blockbuster where the opening sequence was a synchronized
Speaker 4: bombing attack all across New York where at Chase. It
Speaker 4: opened in Shae Stadium and there was a picture stepping
Speaker 4: on the mound and he was he was like kicking
Speaker 4: the thing and he steps on the the that I
Speaker 4: don't know what that white thing is called. He steps on,
Speaker 4: and then he just notices like a little red light
Speaker 4: like under it, and then like he lifts it up
Speaker 4: and it's like the bottom of the center. There's like
Speaker 4: a big part of the game everybody's you know, and
Speaker 4: it lifts listed up and he just sees it and
Speaker 4: it's just he just sees like a counter under it,
Speaker 4: under it. And then at the same time, like there's
Speaker 4: a people stuck on the Verazana Bridge and all this stuff,
Speaker 4: and then like you know, they just see all these
Speaker 4: people find these clocks and it's just a synchronized New
Speaker 4: York just gets decimated. And then it was the story
Speaker 4: of this commander that had to come out of retirement
Speaker 4: and go and and and like solve all of it.
Speaker 2: Like that was like my big thing that I had written,
Speaker 2: like the first maybe fifteen twenty pages.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a pretty cool opening. Though.
Speaker 2: It's a cool opening.
Speaker 1: I would say I'd feel bad for people and Shay
Speaker 1: like the Arizona, it's like, eh, fucking that's all right.
Speaker 2: It's okay. That bridge as out of bridge is the
Speaker 2: longest suspension bridge in America?
Speaker 1: Is it really?
Speaker 2: Yes? It is.
Speaker 1: What's the what's the distance?
Speaker 2: Two point six miles? I made that up. I don't know,
Speaker 2: but it's long.
Speaker 5: Here's the thing too, though, they actually it's so long
Speaker 5: that it has to have curvature, so you go uphill
Speaker 5: while you're driving it and downhill while you're.
Speaker 2: Coming over it. But it is the longest break longest
Speaker 2: suspension bridge in mine.
Speaker 1: I was just a San Francisco.
Speaker 2: And Golden Gates, A nice bridge.
Speaker 1: See, here's my point. Here's my point. Shoe, go to
Speaker 1: any souvenir shop. What's that?
Speaker 2: Is it? Two point five miles? Point five miles?
Speaker 1: Almost exactly?
Speaker 2: Good?
Speaker 1: Guess you said two points. You're off by a tenth
Speaker 1: of a mile. That's crazy. You just guess that.
Speaker 5: Dis guess that's sorry, athlete, it's two point five to nine.
Speaker 2: Ah, so I round it up.
Speaker 1: Wow, that is pretty amazing, dude, you're the mat fleet.
Speaker 4: You know what I think I did Actually once, now
Speaker 4: that I'm saying it, I think once I clocked it
Speaker 4: because I drive over used to drive over it all
Speaker 4: the time. Yeah, and I think I was like, how
Speaker 4: oh is this thing? And I think there's that just
Speaker 4: stuck in my head. I never knew it, you know,
Speaker 4: but I guess it just popped up, popped up its head,
Speaker 4: that geeky math.
Speaker 1: Number of things like all right, well you're single now, yep,
Speaker 1: so feel free to drop that knowledge bomb on all
Speaker 1: the ladies in the thing.
Speaker 2: Yeaht me tell you a thing or two about a
Speaker 2: thing or two.
Speaker 1: There was one time I rented one of those little
Speaker 1: yellow uh tourist cars. Do you ever see those? They're
Speaker 1: kind of like go karts, but you have to help
Speaker 1: the helmet all you get too around the thing and
Speaker 1: it's and and it's pretty cool because it has like
Speaker 1: a little radio and it's like a GPS thing and
Speaker 1: it tells you where to go like a little lady.
Speaker 1: It's programmed and it tells you where to drive and everything. Yes, there,
Speaker 1: here's the thing. It's electric powered. It's not gas powered.
Speaker 1: And so when you're going uphills you are they say
Speaker 1: stay in the road in the ark cars just like
Speaker 1: like anybody that there up the hell. It's really embarrassing.
Speaker 1: It's not worth the the way of seeing the city
Speaker 1: like that, Like you're a grown man get on the trolley.
Speaker 2: Oh that's so funny.
Speaker 4: I yeah, I can't imagine you spent much time in
Speaker 4: San fran though.
Speaker 2: I did like the company I worked for. A giggle
Speaker 2: started there.
Speaker 1: Oh really when I.
Speaker 4: Went back, that's where the hometown was when I went
Speaker 4: to train the little store, and then they opened a
Speaker 4: lot in the Bay Area. They were in Walnut Creek,
Speaker 4: they were in a Corta, madera, a lot of places
Speaker 4: around there.
Speaker 2: So I had spent some time in San Frana.
Speaker 1: It's such a beautiful sit so great. I love it
Speaker 1: so great.
Speaker 4: I got there was a great CVS there that I
Speaker 4: got a Royal Dance cookie bit from in two thousand
Speaker 4: and one a CBS.
Speaker 1: Yes, well, now you can just take anything you want
Speaker 1: that's right in the CBS and San France that you
Speaker 1: do that.
Speaker 4: We did the first thing, first time it was eving
Speaker 4: San Francisco for real reels, was with the boys.
Speaker 2: We played.
Speaker 4: Our first big gig was a San Francisco Sketch Fest.
Speaker 4: It was year one for them. They have their on
Speaker 4: like they just celebrited. I think they're twenty year anniversary.
Speaker 1: Oh, you guys were at the first one.
Speaker 2: Were the first one ever the Tenderloins.
Speaker 1: And this is just when you guys are just on YouTube,
Speaker 1: just like i'd they discover you.
Speaker 2: Then you're just on YouTube. You submitted, Yeah, we submitted.
Speaker 4: For it, and we did one of our sketches, but
Speaker 4: one of our sketches had a geisha woman in it,
Speaker 4: and we didn't.
Speaker 1: Realize how excuse me, Joe, I'm gonna have to.
Speaker 4: And we didn't realize how sensitive a topic it was,
Speaker 4: especially in San Francisco. Oh right right, and it bombed
Speaker 4: bad and then we were like, why did this because
Speaker 4: it's We're like, this is funny.
Speaker 2: It's kills in Staten Island and then we were like, oh.
Speaker 4: It's insensitive and you did it like in their backyard
Speaker 4: like so it was it was that was a bad experience.
Speaker 1: There was Murray the geisha. No.
Speaker 2: Our friend Gideon, who used to be honest, was as
Speaker 2: erm minute really yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: So you had a few different members prior to.
Speaker 4: Botch started it for Ust Mike Pacio and before we
Speaker 4: had Q and then when we expanded to be traveling sketch.
Speaker 4: Gideon was a great sketch actor, so he came in.
Speaker 4: He was an active friend of ours in New York.
Speaker 1: Did you ever wonder or contemplate how different things would be?
Speaker 1: Obviously they worked at the way they did. Man, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean how the different personalities. It just obviously it worked.
Speaker 1: You know, how different would it have been? Very yeah,
Speaker 1: very yeah, yeah, very.
Speaker 4: I think Ques was a difference maker because when you
Speaker 4: put Q in there, he had a different perspective on comedy.
Speaker 4: He had a different viewpoint. He wasn't afraid to speak
Speaker 4: his mind on stuff. He cared in a way right,
Speaker 4: like in a big way that made other people. His
Speaker 4: care was like infectious, a little bit right. You know,
Speaker 4: there was a thing about like kinda you wanted to
Speaker 4: he was for me, he was a little bit more
Speaker 4: of an outsider. I didn't know him as well as
Speaker 4: he had knew Mur and Sal. So there was a
Speaker 4: thing of like trying to impress the wrong word, but
Speaker 4: it's kind of the right word too. It's like you
Speaker 4: want to, you know, show that you could be funny,
Speaker 4: go think of something outside the box kind of stuff. So,
Speaker 4: and also like to get retorts from him or to
Speaker 4: when you're writing with him, and it was always fresh.
Speaker 4: It was always different, you know when I wrote with
Speaker 4: you know, me and Sal has got Mary's got a
Speaker 4: very corny, well executed humor. He knows corny well, he
Speaker 4: could be very corny. He writes funny. When it comes
Speaker 4: to corny, he acts it very well. He plays a
Speaker 4: great straight man when it comes into something, yeah, things
Speaker 4: like that. He he knows how to overact comedically, like
Speaker 4: those kinds of things.
Speaker 2: That's his wheelhouse, you know. So to write for Murray
Speaker 2: was really easy. Sal on the other hand side, you
Speaker 2: could just say, Sal.
Speaker 4: Order order a cupcake and he would do it funny,
Speaker 4: like you have to write for Sal really, you know.
Speaker 4: And then it was cue where Q was really when
Speaker 4: you wrote for Q, it was like he was kind
Speaker 4: of like this not as happy kind of guy.
Speaker 2: He kind of he kind of like Blue Collary feel
Speaker 2: to him.
Speaker 1: He's like he's more than every man kind of a
Speaker 1: little bit.
Speaker 2: But not that Sal and Q and I mar and
Speaker 2: I aren't. You know. I'd argue that we probably are
Speaker 2: on equal playing fields. Besides Murray.
Speaker 4: Murray has a little bit more of a an air
Speaker 4: to him about being like I went to Georgetown, you
Speaker 4: know what I mean kind of feel, But like I mean,
Speaker 4: sALS that was a bartender. He was a man of
Speaker 4: the people, you know what I mean. I mean Salah,
Speaker 4: you know, Sala was a bartender. You can't get more
Speaker 4: man of the people in a bar.
Speaker 1: S of course I was.
Speaker 4: I was in sales, you know, I was working in retail,
Speaker 4: you know. So it was kind of like that. It
Speaker 4: was just like mur was in production. You know Murray,
Speaker 4: you know, so when you're writing for Murry, he was like, uh,
Speaker 4: more business manny, I guess it's the right way, right right,
Speaker 4: So that when you put Q in the mix of that,
Speaker 4: that's really what sparked the whole thing up where it
Speaker 4: was like, oh, this is this is the right formula,
Speaker 4: this is the.
Speaker 1: Right recipe, right, yeah, so just kind of recalibrated and.
Speaker 2: Everybody fell in the role.
Speaker 4: He really liked writing, but he didn't like directing or
Speaker 4: you know as macho or whatever.
Speaker 2: You nobody really liked to write, and he.
Speaker 4: Was really good at it is still and you know,
Speaker 4: the way his mind work was different, and when you
Speaker 4: put somebody putting in a different thought than everybody else
Speaker 4: is thrown in the.
Speaker 1: Water, right right.
Speaker 2: So it was kind of fun.
Speaker 1: And how long had you guys been together at least
Speaker 1: the core three prior to.
Speaker 4: Well we formed a ninety nine and then Q came
Speaker 4: in in two thousand and well, I moved in three
Speaker 4: and I came back in five, So I think he
Speaker 4: joined in two thousand and six.
Speaker 2: Two thousand and six, Phil Full Wow, Yeah, I think
Speaker 2: it was that he had guessed and worked with us
Speaker 2: all throughout it.
Speaker 1: Though.
Speaker 2: We did this format called the Armando.
Speaker 4: Which was basically someone gave got up and gave a monologue,
Speaker 4: and then you made scenes off their monologue.
Speaker 2: They told a story. She's a great storyteller. It's a
Speaker 2: very full life.
Speaker 4: So he would get up there and tell a story
Speaker 4: and from that we would create three scenes from that.
Speaker 4: Then he would come back in whatever. And he'd always
Speaker 4: done that for us. He was our best. They would
Speaker 4: call the monologist. He was our best monologists always.
Speaker 1: It's pretty fascinating. So the Armando.
Speaker 4: Armando Diaz it was named after. It came from a
Speaker 4: UCB style Bright Sitizens Brigade in New York. It was
Speaker 4: just based on the Harald is a long form story
Speaker 4: where it doesn't have monologues, where you basically just make
Speaker 4: up a play, visit each scene three times. You make
Speaker 4: three scenes up and visited three times, and each have
Speaker 4: a conclusion, and the last scene ties everything together.
Speaker 2: That's called the.
Speaker 4: Harold Armando has a monologist in the middle, so you're
Speaker 4: making like kind of vignettes and it breaks it up
Speaker 4: and it makes what's kind of like a stand.
Speaker 2: Up feel, and it was a cool marriage.
Speaker 4: And everything doesn't have to wrap up as cleanly because
Speaker 4: you're coming back from the stories and whatnot, but when it.
Speaker 2: Does, it's pretty cool too. So like that was what
Speaker 2: that's the format we did and we just loved it.
Speaker 1: So so Independence Day bringing it all back in defends day.
Speaker 1: All Right, here we go, let's get into this.
Speaker 2: Why did you hear everybody falling asleep while I was.
Speaker 1: This is coming to us? Three people might have found
Speaker 1: that interesting? Cowboy Kate, I found it interestink right, I didn't.
Speaker 1: I did not know, because you know, you always hear
Speaker 1: the things about jokers, about like lifelong friends high school.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that you guys were together virtually six
Speaker 1: years and then you know, he comes in and then.
Speaker 2: It's just yeah, but we went to high school with
Speaker 2: him too. He with us in high school, and he
Speaker 2: performed with us all through the ten ones time. He
Speaker 2: just wasn't an official loin.
Speaker 1: That's crazy. I just I always assume doomed joined at
Speaker 1: the hip, but I was wrong. Cowboy Kate, A.
Speaker 2: Timing might have been completely offer that too, but that's
Speaker 2: how I remember.
Speaker 1: It, right, But you know the Verrizono the Averzona Bridge
Speaker 1: two point six two five nine, Cowboy Kate writes to us, Ok,
Speaker 1: cowbocate and uh, this is a little depressing because I
Speaker 1: preferse I prefer to get a message from reverse Cowgirl Kate, but.
Speaker 2: To get when you come what comes in by.
Speaker 1: Sure she's never heard that before. Uh. Okay, if you
Speaker 1: could have a lifetime supply of something, what would it be?
Speaker 1: A lifetime supply?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 4: So now first you gotta spill that in the two things.
Speaker 4: Are you doing fantastical or you're doing like real? Let's
Speaker 4: do both, Okay, so let's start with fantastical. Fantastical lifetime
Speaker 4: supply of anything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would have to say, oh that's tricky. Okay,
Speaker 1: fantastical you're go lifetime suplay of anything? I would want
Speaker 1: unlimited like or an easier way to do it. But
Speaker 1: but just like unlimited miles on an airline, so I
Speaker 1: could go anywhere I want. That'd be my Fantastic Awards points.
Speaker 2: Yes, lifetime supply.
Speaker 1: Of rewards, it just it just never ends. I could
Speaker 1: I could fly anywhere.
Speaker 4: Okay, So then I would just take that out of
Speaker 4: the next for you and just say, well, when you
Speaker 4: have a lifetime supply of AMEX gift cards.
Speaker 2: Because then you could buy anything and travel, so you
Speaker 2: could use those.
Speaker 4: But then if you want to pick out yourself up
Speaker 4: a Rolex watch, you just peel them off the five hundreds.
Speaker 2: That's money.
Speaker 1: I see what you said your your I went, I
Speaker 1: went micro and then you went macro. Said well, why
Speaker 1: when you're doing.
Speaker 2: You said, how do I make travel? Lifetime supply? That
Speaker 2: was a great answer.
Speaker 1: I think I know what yours would be watches.
Speaker 2: It's not bad, but you run out. My first thing honestly.
Speaker 1: Went out of time. You've never run out of time,
Speaker 1: so you never.
Speaker 2: Out of time.
Speaker 4: Here's the thing, yeah, Stevie Weavey, that I was thinking
Speaker 4: I would. The first thing came to my mind.
Speaker 2: I don't know why. It was comfy blankets.
Speaker 1: That's the worst. You get a blanket anywhere, No, you can.
Speaker 4: But if I had a lifetime supply of them, once
Speaker 4: it got a little I don't get rid of That's
Speaker 4: why I get no one.
Speaker 2: That's why that's what came out. But I would like shoes.
Speaker 5: No, I would probably say shoes, because you got it's
Speaker 5: something that needs.
Speaker 2: To get run through, and shoes get ruined a lot.
Speaker 1: Let me ask you this. If somebody said to you,
Speaker 1: I'll give you a lifetime shoes, or you could travel
Speaker 1: anywhere you want anytime on any airline, what would you choose.
Speaker 1: I take the airline shoes, I'd buy you can always
Speaker 1: buy shoes. Yeah, you can't buy you can't buy trips all.
Speaker 1: I mean you could, right, But to just have that
Speaker 1: access to go anywhere at the dry drop of a dime,
Speaker 1: that's fun. That'd be sick.
Speaker 2: Yeah. But no, But then one you just like say,
Speaker 2: like get a private plane and you're done. Then if you're.
Speaker 1: Driving, this is a lifetime supply, is not a This
Speaker 1: is not a life. Okay, I get a lifetime supply
Speaker 1: private chess? You is that what you want?
Speaker 2: That's not right, that's not right. That's not plane. That's
Speaker 2: not the spirit of the game. I see what you're saying.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but in your in your fantasy, you're flying economy
Speaker 4: maybe comfort plus.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's the fantasy.
Speaker 2: It's like I'm gonna get extra leg rop.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true. I I would get my wish up
Speaker 1: like Genie, are you sure? It's like uh huh. And
Speaker 1: then i'd be in a middle seat going to Tokyo.
Speaker 1: I'd be furious. I'd be like, fuck it, I'm not going.
Speaker 2: Though.
Speaker 1: If I had a middle seat to Tokyo, I probably
Speaker 1: wouldn't go. No, no, I have to have a window.
Speaker 1: That little jiggy had a middle seat to Tokyo.
Speaker 3: For sure, you saving money, he's saving money, he's he
Speaker 3: probably he's probably sleeping in the overhead storage, pinching yen
Speaker 3: as they say, Yeah, lifetimes apply that fantastical for real,
Speaker 3: Like it's got to be a food thing, right, it's
Speaker 3: gotta be like a lifetime.
Speaker 1: Reality would be food. Yeah, I would think, you.
Speaker 2: Know, a lifetimes to apply a clean water, clean drinkable water.
Speaker 1: Oh Jesus, you live in America. What do you in? Right?
Speaker 4: You live here, but you're going on your trips and
Speaker 4: you end up in Mazakusku and you you don't know me.
Speaker 2: It's south of par you're getting you're there, and you
Speaker 2: get there.
Speaker 1: You can take their barrizono.
Speaker 2: Two point five to nine miles you get you're thirsty,
Speaker 2: you want to do a drink, you drink all you would.
Speaker 1: Get a lifetime supply of fresh I mean, come on, dude.
Speaker 5: I'm trying to think, be practical, Like what do you need?
Speaker 5: What was your fantastical fantastical was shoes? So you're really
Speaker 5: in on shoes, that's it. You could go to any
Speaker 5: So this is like across the board, this is Nike.
Speaker 5: You could go to Yeah, although you you messed up,
Speaker 5: you step in, don't hit your thirty shoes out, you
Speaker 5: get new shoes.
Speaker 2: Think about that. Think about how much you spend on shoes.
Speaker 2: How many pairs of shoes have you had in your life?
Speaker 2: That's pretty it's a lot.
Speaker 1: It's a lot. I have a lot of sneakers.
Speaker 2: I see what I'm saying. So all of a sudden,
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, shoes isn't so silly? And how
Speaker 2: often do you how long are you going to travel?
Speaker 2: You have to work? You know what I'm saying, Will
Speaker 2: you travel for work?
Speaker 1: Shoes are not that expected like a shoe is.
Speaker 2: You'll put in a monetary value. I'll put a convenience.
Speaker 2: I put a convenience value. But here's the other thing.
Speaker 2: If I have a lifetime supplies shoes. One day I'm
Speaker 2: wearing the shoes are gone.
Speaker 5: Three hundred and sixty fivedays a year, I'm getting three
Speaker 5: hundred and sixty five pairs of shoes.
Speaker 2: Maybe if I'm going out at night, I'm in a Dubel.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do it too. Down here, let's call it
Speaker 2: seven hundred pairs a year.
Speaker 1: Well, now yourself volcano, Well exactly, let's say said I've
Speaker 1: never seen more shoes.
Speaker 5: Let's say five hundred and fifty pairs a year. That's conservative.
Speaker 1: That's that's that's that's if you're Brewster's millions.
Speaker 2: That's disposable shoes.
Speaker 1: That's like, I've got to use all these shoes, right,
Speaker 1: I've got to spend this million dollars in one month.
Speaker 4: I'm making something that I'm making something disposable that doesn't
Speaker 4: have to be I see what you're saying.
Speaker 1: See, I think fantastically. I think I think I I
Speaker 1: think I knocked it out of the park. Okay with
Speaker 1: I know with flights.
Speaker 2: I don't disagree. That's actually pretty good.
Speaker 1: Or you could say, like unlimited concert tickets. I would
Speaker 1: do that one too. I would go see any show
Speaker 1: I want anytime.
Speaker 2: That is a better one. That's a better one, hands down.
Speaker 4: Because I still think trips no, because you could always
Speaker 4: buy a ticket to anywhere you can't get into it,
Speaker 4: like the new concert if it sells out.
Speaker 2: You can can be shut out of a concert.
Speaker 1: You could get tickets. All you have to do is
Speaker 1: call your agent.
Speaker 2: I'm not talking about me.
Speaker 4: I'm talking about me, talking about person, and we think
Speaker 4: that's gonna last forever.
Speaker 1: I'm not talking shoke out from cool moms.
Speaker 2: Can I get?
Speaker 4: Can I get tickets to see Jesse's Girl the eighties
Speaker 4: hip hop of the eighties Comma Band?
Speaker 2: Sorry, Joe, who's this?
Speaker 1: I still think air travel is the best one.
Speaker 2: Travels not bad, but the the what do you call?
Speaker 2: It's not bad either?
Speaker 4: How about this I'll take I'll take concerts. I guess
Speaker 4: you take that and we'll go everywhere together and.
Speaker 1: Say we go, okay, great, we'll go. What do you
Speaker 1: do for tea? Swizzle swizz?
Speaker 2: What do you have to do for real? What do
Speaker 2: you have to do for like the real one? Like,
Speaker 2: it's got to be food, right, because you'll never go hungry.
Speaker 2: You gotta be food, never go hungry.
Speaker 1: But you can't just say food. I don't think that's no, no, yeah,
Speaker 1: I agree with you.
Speaker 2: But so it has to be like cornstarch.
Speaker 1: But then it's like, are you getting gluttonous? Like is
Speaker 1: this a guilty pleasure?
Speaker 2: No, it's gotta be survival one. It's got to be like.
Speaker 1: We're We're not on the History show, History Channel show alone.
Speaker 1: You know, it's like we live.
Speaker 2: In the thick of anything.
Speaker 4: If it's going to be life to our supply of it,
Speaker 4: I mean, I gets sick of oreos. A lifetime supply
Speaker 4: of oreos. You know what oreo tests me, test me,
Speaker 4: let's see challenge.
Speaker 2: I don't have that much time left. It's not that
Speaker 2: big of an event kill me.
Speaker 1: Oreo boy, a lifetime supply of.
Speaker 2: That's why I went with water.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but what you get water right now?
Speaker 2: It's free. It's true. But I'm saying I'm here, I'm
Speaker 2: not in Morumby. If I'm in Morumbi, where's it's south
Speaker 2: of Anura? Banera? Bread? Yeah, I guess that. I think.
Speaker 2: I think it's got to be some sort of food thing.
Speaker 1: Eggs or to your point earlier, underwear.
Speaker 2: Great, great, you can just chuck it, chuck them. You
Speaker 2: don't have to wash nothing. Unlimited supply of clothing.
Speaker 1: That that's that. I probably save you so much time,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, energy. No dry cleaning, soaps, no washing,
Speaker 1: dry folding.
Speaker 2: No folding, wrinkles, ironing, done, all that party. I have
Speaker 2: to get what it's like to I mean, these says
Speaker 2: like I was gonna be like I do.
Speaker 1: These are little fuckers. They were something once and throw out.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I haven't watched these jeans in four months.
Speaker 1: Put it back on the shelf.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what that's that's that's actually a pretty
Speaker 2: good one.
Speaker 1: Clothing can be good shoes, all right.
Speaker 2: Next question I'm doing with this one.
Speaker 1: I said McDonald's French triest though, Oh yeah, I love them.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you this. I had one of and I'm
Speaker 1: not Joe going I say this. I took a picture
Speaker 1: of it. Of course. I had one of the greatest
Speaker 1: sushi meals I've ever had last night.
Speaker 2: I'm so jealous. You invite me.
Speaker 1: Japanica.
Speaker 2: Japannka, Japanica, Japanica.
Speaker 1: It's right around the corner from Panera Fat but Japanica.
Speaker 1: I think it's called Japanica. It's uh in between the
Speaker 1: stand the cellar. I was walking down. I was like,
Speaker 1: I could eat. I went in. They closed a ten thirty.
Speaker 1: I was like, this is perfect. I had my book
Speaker 1: with me, sat down, maybe two other couples in there.
Speaker 1: I had a what's the white wrap called? You know
Speaker 1: when you get a crab roll and it's the white
Speaker 1: it's not the green soy paper, but it's white.
Speaker 4: Is the rice on the outside or the soy Maybe
Speaker 4: it's a rice wrap or something like that, but it's
Speaker 4: really sat on the outside.
Speaker 1: They crisped the sesame seeds on it, Oh my god.
Speaker 1: And the crab was fresh. It wasn't becauseation is this
Speaker 1: cra It's real crab. I had a you know, the
Speaker 1: the yellow tail. They usually give you a ponzu. They
Speaker 1: had this green sauce. Is this? I asked him. I go,
Speaker 1: what is this sauce? It's fantastic. Use It's a jalapino sauce.
Speaker 1: It was a sweet jilipino sauce. It was like a
Speaker 1: tang to it, right, and it was a little hot.
Speaker 1: But they it was like sweet and sour and it
Speaker 1: was this. It was they they blended it.
Speaker 2: Sauces make the Oh my god, come on, I want
Speaker 2: to go you want to go.
Speaker 1: It was fantastic. One of the best meals I've ever had.
Speaker 1: What's the point? What's the point?
Speaker 2: Unlimited food? You said, French fries, And that's how we
Speaker 2: got there.
Speaker 1: So I had this great I had this great sushi.
Speaker 1: Go do my show. Get back to the room. I
Speaker 1: know he got two hours of work to do. I'm
Speaker 1: up late on my fries. Let's get some McDonald's. Yep,
Speaker 1: and I got it. I'm telling you, when you don't
Speaker 1: have McDonald's for a while, that quarter pounder is sensational.
Speaker 1: The fries are fantastic.
Speaker 2: You had to feel.
Speaker 1: Terrible twenty minutes alf and I got an unsweetened tea.
Speaker 1: But then I got a coke just so I could
Speaker 1: have I just want a few SIPs, just a few.
Speaker 1: When you don't have sugar for have you? Have you
Speaker 1: gone on like a sugar strike for a while, and
Speaker 1: then you have a coke? Never you ever done a Mike.
Speaker 1: I don't drink colas or soda?
Speaker 2: Is that often?
Speaker 1: I'm a Seltzer guy, But as soon as I get
Speaker 1: that sweet rush of soda.
Speaker 2: You don't.
Speaker 1: When you do that for the first you're like, wow,
Speaker 1: that's a lot. You all you do is taste of
Speaker 1: the sugar.
Speaker 2: Hurts my teeth.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's it's I was like, goda, damn, I
Speaker 1: haven't had a cocain a while, and I I had
Speaker 1: like two or three SIPs and I was like, goddamn,
Speaker 1: is fucking awful.
Speaker 2: It's like way too Really, it wasn't a coca and
Speaker 2: a smile as a cocing a while telling you stuff.
Speaker 2: That's why they say, yeah, I keep having it. You
Speaker 2: can have a cocing a while. It's not covid a smile.
Speaker 1: There's the first.
Speaker 2: Merch co.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, okay, this is it is interesting, all right,
Speaker 1: all right, it's very interesting. This is uh quite the conundrum.
Speaker 2: Oh well, that's what we're here for.
Speaker 1: Coming us from rach hey Mom's fact check inquiry. Since you,
Speaker 1: since you are both dads to a son and a daughter,
Speaker 1: would you say this is true?
Speaker 2: So we're gonna be giving a statement. We have to say,
Speaker 2: do we think it's true?
Speaker 1: Did you say this is true? I would die for
Speaker 1: my son. I would kill for my daughter love the pod,
Speaker 1: So would you say this is true? I would die
Speaker 1: for my son. I would kill for my daughter.
Speaker 2: Who So the way you break it down. Well, I
Speaker 2: think I would. I would die for both of them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And some say that's the definition of love. I've
Speaker 1: heard that. It's like when you're asked, how do you
Speaker 1: define love? Thousand different and one of the big definitions
Speaker 1: is that you would die for that individual.
Speaker 2: Okay, and I think.
Speaker 1: It's got its roots and Christianity.
Speaker 5: Oh I got you so but okay, So the first
Speaker 5: thing I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 1: I would think about it.
Speaker 2: I would think about it.
Speaker 1: It's like, would you die for this, well, Tuesday or
Speaker 1: is it like Friday? I get to what we got
Speaker 1: playoffs NHL.
Speaker 4: My family would have an easier time existing with me
Speaker 4: than one of I contribute a little bit more.
Speaker 2: We're gonna be honest. You could have another one of those.
Speaker 1: Has he ever written a cold open?
Speaker 2: So?
Speaker 4: But that also implies that you would that you wouldn't
Speaker 4: die for your other one, and you wouldn't kill for
Speaker 4: your other one.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't kill for I wouldn't kill for my son.
Speaker 2: I wouldn' kill for my son.
Speaker 5: I don't know if I Well, I guess that means
Speaker 5: that you would take a wrongdoing to your daughter much
Speaker 5: more to heart than you would for your son.
Speaker 2: And you'd want to justify it.
Speaker 1: I think that's what the there is some uh look
Speaker 1: these days, right, there's a sexist bent to it, right
Speaker 1: that like the daughter is incapable, which guys, we're gonna be,
Speaker 1: but but that you would need to protect her and
Speaker 1: the son would be in a dire situation where you
Speaker 1: would have to sacrifice your life for his.
Speaker 4: I would die for my kill for my daughter, meaning
Speaker 4: that you're well, you're taking it that your son.
Speaker 1: I would die for my son, but I would not
Speaker 1: kill for my daughter, because that's why we have a
Speaker 1: legal system. I would.
Speaker 2: For my daughter.
Speaker 1: God damn it, guys, I'd hire good law for my daughter.
Speaker 2: I would lawyer up for my door.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Here's the thing, though, I would say this. I would
Speaker 4: say this take you to a point where you would
Speaker 4: die for your kid. I'm thinking it from a five
Speaker 4: year old and a seven year old, which I have
Speaker 4: right now. I'm not thinking about my thirty year old
Speaker 4: son and my thirty four year old daughter.
Speaker 1: No, after you leave the house, fuck that your nine
Speaker 1: year old.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I think I'm saying if you if your
Speaker 4: daughter or I would die for either of my young children.
Speaker 2: So I wouldn't say I put that on it. I
Speaker 2: don't know if I would.
Speaker 4: The kill comes into like I go right to like
Speaker 4: a movie or something where somebody like drunk driver kills
Speaker 4: your kid and then you're like, I want to get justice.
Speaker 2: They get let off and you have to go kill
Speaker 2: this right right?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Would you kill somebody if they killed your kid like taken?
Speaker 1: Yes, taken one hundred percent. Oh okay, I don't have
Speaker 1: the skills.
Speaker 2: I don't have the skills.
Speaker 4: But if I did, if I was.
Speaker 1: Lean niece and my bag, I'm going to do the
Speaker 1: best I can hack in my backpack. I'm going to
Speaker 1: hire those two Nigerians that Jesse Smollett hired and maybe
Speaker 1: bring them back up, maycause they seem incompetent.
Speaker 2: But you get a ball bat.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I rest old in seventh grade. It
Speaker 1: out of my skill set.
Speaker 2: I would. Okay, here's a great that's a great scenario.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the daughters taken. Yeah, you called me up.
Speaker 2: You're like, Joe, my daughter has been taken. Yeah, let's go.
Speaker 2: What's off? What's off? First move? What's what's up for?
Speaker 1: I mean, here's what I.
Speaker 4: Call the authorities, Steve, I'm gonna have to tap into
Speaker 4: your unlimited miles.
Speaker 2: I gotta get I gotta get the Bulgaria.
Speaker 1: That wish was kind of for me.
Speaker 2: But listen, I'm gonna bring sneak you. I got sneakers.
Speaker 2: I'll just be throwing shoes at these people. That's when
Speaker 2: it comes to and.
Speaker 1: They have it. That's an interesting question though.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like I would die for either of
Speaker 2: my kids. I'm not worry. I'm not saying that because
Speaker 2: you have to say that.
Speaker 4: I actually literally thought about it, and I think it
Speaker 4: would die. The biggest conundermine I always had been given it.
Speaker 4: Me and Murray talked about this at length. Was you're
Speaker 4: on a boat and you can only save one of
Speaker 4: these three. It's your wife, your daughter, and your mother
Speaker 4: the dog going down. And then everybody instantly says your.
Speaker 1: Daughter, because the two moms would be like, look, you
Speaker 1: got to save her.
Speaker 2: No, it's not up to them.
Speaker 1: But my mom would be like, oh, she says all
Speaker 1: the time, it's not I bought my mom. It's not
Speaker 1: the mom for her birthday. What what'd you say? You
Speaker 1: got to say?
Speaker 2: Say it's not the mom? Who who's the mom? The
Speaker 2: wife and the daughter we all know.
Speaker 1: Of course I bought my mom and necklace for her birthday.
Speaker 1: She's like that, why would you spend jewelry? I'm not
Speaker 1: going to be around that thatch long. I mean, that's
Speaker 1: so Korean. She does. And then my my, my wife
Speaker 1: would absolutely bubble bubble yeah right, and I beg, but
Speaker 1: when when you're dead, when you're in a club, do you
Speaker 1: mind if I date what I wanted to hear? That's
Speaker 1: what I want to hear. I think I think she
Speaker 1: s all right that no, no, read your hand out.
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 2: I was palm down.
Speaker 1: Look, here's the thing about your mom. She always has
Speaker 1: to get the last word up. She always she wants
Speaker 1: me to be a happy BLI.
Speaker 2: Me would probably be like, no, I want mom, can
Speaker 2: you go? You don't even know how to pay the cable?
Speaker 1: But very true, yeah, very true.
Speaker 2: And that was the connundu I was always saying. But yeah,
Speaker 2: that's a great that's a great one. That's a really thing.
Speaker 2: Sit around and sit around, and do you know I
Speaker 2: was even.
Speaker 1: In that scenario, what would who would not choose the daughter?
Speaker 4: The wife is an interesting pick because it takes your
Speaker 4: whole life, to the whole life to find your love
Speaker 4: of your life.
Speaker 2: You find it you could have another kid. That's the
Speaker 2: that's the one that we hold on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, hold on, you can't just have another Your children
Speaker 1: are like your children are from like to meet anybody else.
Speaker 1: You could go on the street and just meet somebody.
Speaker 1: True that that is so true. You can absolutely how
Speaker 1: many times people you're the love of my life. I
Speaker 1: would never be about it, and then something unfortunate happens
Speaker 1: that individual, and then a fucking year later they're walking
Speaker 1: down the aisle.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: So to me, it's like it depends on me.
Speaker 2: It depends on the age of the child. If it's
Speaker 2: a four month baby, you don't really know that thing.
Speaker 2: You don't know that thing. If it's if it's a
Speaker 2: ten year old, then you've got a report. Because I
Speaker 2: have memories together. It's gonna be hard to tugue on
Speaker 2: the chain. But the wife.
Speaker 1: An infant, okay, doctor, late term abortion, four month old
Speaker 1: that's still like a four month old is starting to smile. Okay.
Speaker 4: So you want you want to get, you want to get,
Speaker 4: you want to split hairs a two month old. I
Speaker 4: always want the kid. I always want the kid. I
Speaker 4: thought it was Yeah, I thought it was a kid.
Speaker 1: But you don't have a baby. Joe was just like
Speaker 1: I didn't. But it's so many that he never put
Speaker 1: forth the effort to get to know me. How about that, guys,
Speaker 1: how about that he didn't get don't like.
Speaker 2: My kids overy two years old? I'm not afraid to say.
Speaker 1: That, don't really.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I hate them, didn't hate them. I just
Speaker 2: didn't know them, just didn't like them, didn't connect with
Speaker 2: them until it.
Speaker 1: Was People feel that way.
Speaker 2: People had say I say that all the time.
Speaker 5: People were like, you're gonna meet that baby, your life's
Speaker 5: can change, canna be the lovely live.
Speaker 2: I didn't not at all off to you.
Speaker 4: Now, can't matgine my life without and loved them. So
Speaker 4: I'm too even before this two and up, like two
Speaker 4: is like when I was like, oh this kid, this
Speaker 4: is nice, is what fatherhood feels like. I just felt
Speaker 4: more natural, more comfortable with that.
Speaker 1: You know, So it just took time for you. I
Speaker 1: guess it's just some people growing. Yeah, I instantly, just
Speaker 1: both of them. Yeah, I was just hooked.
Speaker 2: But in this conversation about the canoe, the poor mothers,
Speaker 2: they got no shot.
Speaker 4: They don't even they don't even like they had to
Speaker 4: debate it and be like, well, what what are you.
Speaker 1: Gonna help me? If I'm in a canoe right and
Speaker 1: my mom's behind me, why is here? And my daughter's here?
Speaker 1: And a voice comes down? You can always save You
Speaker 1: can always save two. This is the look I give
Speaker 1: my mom, And she'd be like, got him.
Speaker 4: I got a great query the other night out when
Speaker 4: I was out and about uh after I was in
Speaker 4: the city. We were touring, went out to the bar
Speaker 4: after and someone posed a question to me, if you
Speaker 4: could meet your lifelong hero, what's the question you would
Speaker 4: ask them?
Speaker 2: And I thought that was a fun one.
Speaker 1: Okay, so a who is your hero? And then and
Speaker 1: then what would you ask? It was great.
Speaker 2: It was a great conversation I ended up with.
Speaker 4: I ended up with mel Brooks, and I asked him
Speaker 4: I would ask him. I would ask him that question
Speaker 4: to see who my biggest inspiration's biggest inspiration was.
Speaker 1: Really, that's pretty interesting.
Speaker 4: That's a very great question to ask somebody you look
Speaker 4: up to.
Speaker 2: And that's that was That was the thing we went
Speaker 2: off on. That was the tangent we went off on.
Speaker 2: I was like, it's a perfect question to ask somebody
Speaker 2: you look up to.
Speaker 1: And eventually, over the course of time, we just end
Speaker 1: up in a cave.
Speaker 4: A cave, and there's one guy I would ask, how
Speaker 4: was the tyrannosaurus beef?
Speaker 2: That's it? And that's and then you're.
Speaker 1: There, Junga. All right, great mel Brooks as you were hubs,
Speaker 1: I think so. And let me guess you haven't even
Speaker 1: started to read the book I bought you.
Speaker 2: I did, you did? I'm six pages and we got
Speaker 2: six pages. I opened it somewhere. Okay, I opened it
Speaker 2: on the bus.
Speaker 1: You're doing it though, I did.
Speaker 2: I'm reading it?
Speaker 1: And then how how soon did you fall asleep?
Speaker 2: I didn't fall a sleep? Very quickly after that I
Speaker 2: started getting AFOs. We were on the bus.
Speaker 1: Okay, here's a question it making us. When is the
Speaker 1: next live or live show?
Speaker 2: Lad? You asked? We're ready to announce it?
Speaker 1: We are.
Speaker 2: We don't know yet. We should do an the live
Speaker 2: one you want to know one.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you that one in Nashville was pretty damn
Speaker 1: awesome fun. And I think I remember reflexively when you
Speaker 1: when we both came off, we both walk off stage,
Speaker 1: go in the green room, and we're both like, that
Speaker 1: was so.
Speaker 2: Much fun, so much fun.
Speaker 1: We should love to do it.
Speaker 2: We should do in Miami. We're doing Miami, Miami, Miami.
Speaker 2: Im prop down. There's a great room.
Speaker 1: You know. I don't need an excuse to go to Miami.
Speaker 1: So absolutely, yeah, I.
Speaker 2: Mean we could do it in Nashville again, that's where
Speaker 2: you live. It super easy. Yeah, if we wanted to
Speaker 2: do it again. But do you think we switched cities.
Speaker 2: Do you think we do the same one?
Speaker 1: We could do it in multiple I mean we could.
Speaker 1: We could always tack them onto a show, We could
Speaker 1: tack them onto a Monday, we could tack them onto anything.
Speaker 1: I mean, I love doing them. I mean to do
Speaker 1: it live would be so much fun, and that was
Speaker 1: we should.
Speaker 2: See what it was fun for me Again.
Speaker 4: We just don't let people yelled me about that they
Speaker 4: didn't know you were going to be there, and they
Speaker 4: would have come, oh, we should tell people when you're
Speaker 4: gonna be with me.
Speaker 2: We have to let them know that we will.
Speaker 1: But I've been very lax about that.
Speaker 2: You don't like telling people you wouldn't know me, That's okay, No,
Speaker 2: the lescense yourself. It's fine.
Speaker 1: I barely tell people where I am. I'm so bad
Speaker 1: at all the clubs, like, oh, you could post. You
Speaker 1: can post like, how about you fucking.
Speaker 2: I'll start, I'll start doing it. But yeah we'll do
Speaker 2: another live one.
Speaker 1: Okay, it's coming to us. Is a question, what do
Speaker 1: you think about frozen yogurt?
Speaker 2: I don't like it. I don't like I'm not a
Speaker 2: big ice cream guys. They all desert.
Speaker 4: I don't really get to if the froio for me
Speaker 4: always comes about what else can I put in?
Speaker 2: It's the toppings.
Speaker 4: I have a doll up and everything else to captain
Speaker 4: crunch is coming in the emin m's the sprinkles all that.
Speaker 2: They are all showing off the wet walnut.
Speaker 1: So the yogurts almost just ketchup freeze.
Speaker 2: Ketchup, and I'm the n verse.
Speaker 1: Yeah wow, that's weird.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And you know what really annoys me with some people
Speaker 4: don't make rooms for the toppings, and they get annoyed
Speaker 4: when everything starts spilling out. You need to be able
Speaker 4: to You gotta do either a tight spiral high so
Speaker 4: you have room around the cylinder. We gotta go wide
Speaker 4: fat mouth so you could dump stuff inside.
Speaker 2: It's just simple. It's simple engineering. And nobody prepares themselves
Speaker 2: and then they're spilling all over the place. Everything's sticky,
Speaker 2: is so annoying. Oh god, dad, you've a listening to
Speaker 2: two cool moms. I'm in Joe Gatto and we appreciate you.
Speaker 1: And that's it.
Speaker 2: That's all I got time for.
Speaker 1: That is these mommies love you, So show us some love.
Speaker 4: Please rate us and review us, follow us on all
Speaker 4: social media, and subscribe to our YouTube