Speaker 1: Hell I Suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared
Speaker 1: and I heard radio podcast. Hello everyone, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for joining us on another episode of help I
Speaker 1: Suck at Dating. I'm Dean Angler, joined by Jared and
Speaker 1: Vanessa on the phone, but we have a very secret
Speaker 1: guest who I want to build a little bit of
Speaker 1: anticipation for Vanessa and Jared. You want to say hi
Speaker 1: real quick, Hi. Hello. Good to have you guys here.
Speaker 1: And Vanessa, you sound so crisp and clear in studio
Speaker 1: for you today. You're just the best. And of course
Speaker 1: we're joined by Easton and Mark and one of my
Speaker 1: personal favorite people from probably on this on the face
Speaker 1: of the planet, but more specifically from the Bachelor franchise.
Speaker 1: Can can we get a drum roll? Please? Mark east
Speaker 1: and someone, ladies and gentlemen, standing at six foot two
Speaker 1: inches tall, Peter Cross, So here at six three you're
Speaker 1: six and too. I'm a taller than you are and
Speaker 1: I'm only six one and three quarters. Um. Yeah. So
Speaker 1: Peter's here with us today. He's going to be co
Speaker 1: hosting because Vanessa's obviously Montreal. Jared's in Rhode Island in
Speaker 1: his car looking at wedding venues. Um oh, Peter, I
Speaker 1: got something to ask. You're right after. But let's get
Speaker 1: to okay, well I mean Vanessa. Well yeah, no, Peter,
Speaker 1: I wanted to remember when we reached out to you,
Speaker 1: we were gonna do a charity event together. Yeah, absolutely, Yeah,
Speaker 1: what happened? You never got We never got, we never
Speaker 1: got back to us. That was a little I was
Speaker 1: a little but hurt. That was a very short period
Speaker 1: of time that I was in Canada. That's all I
Speaker 1: remember about it. Okay, I guess, so can we put
Speaker 1: that behind us? Well, people behind us. I've never met
Speaker 1: you in person, so you over the pat on the
Speaker 1: podcast for the first time. Nice meet you too, But
Speaker 1: I've watched plenty of your videos with these boys over here,
Speaker 1: so sorry about that. Seems like a fun guy, Well
Speaker 1: you have. I'm really jealous. Thank you. That's an interesting compliment.
Speaker 1: But um, well, anyway, let's just stump right into it
Speaker 1: and go into a ghosting story that we want to
Speaker 1: I guess kind of to dissect a little bit. Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: we got We have some a lot of response from
Speaker 1: last week's ghosting focused episode of Help I Suck a Dating,
Speaker 1: And we got this from an anonymous call us. We
Speaker 1: thought we a little put a little exclamation point and
Speaker 1: last week's podcast before we get into the fresh stuff
Speaker 1: for this week. And this is anonymous person says I
Speaker 1: absolutely love you guys and the ghosting podcast was probably
Speaker 1: my favorite one yet. Question do you think ghosters should
Speaker 1: be casually confronted? I feel like so many guys have
Speaker 1: experienced come across as being one way to do a
Speaker 1: one eight and ghost Should they be called out like
Speaker 1: a quick little task text saying hey, what's up? Did
Speaker 1: it disappear? Somethings are cast. It would force them to
Speaker 1: give some type of explanation so they can't just take
Speaker 1: the easy way out. Or is it pointless because at
Speaker 1: the end of the day we know what the answer is. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I hate dating, I hate ghosters. I'm still waiting for
Speaker 1: my person. I love you guys and have listened since
Speaker 1: day one. That's the anonymous email. I want to let
Speaker 1: Peter take this one. What do you think? I think
Speaker 1: nobody likes to be left hanging, Nobody likes to feel rejected.
Speaker 1: So if you get ghosted, it just leaves this big
Speaker 1: empty feeling of what happened and why what I do wrong?
Speaker 1: So I think anybody's fair to question what happened and
Speaker 1: have questions for that person. But do you really owe
Speaker 1: someone you don't know that well a response and something
Speaker 1: like that. I think I don't know that either. I
Speaker 1: think it blows back down to kind of what we
Speaker 1: discussed last week. It's a it's not appropriate to ghost
Speaker 1: someone ever, but it's more appropriate earlier in the relationship,
Speaker 1: so correctly if you do it later on, and that's
Speaker 1: not because then you need to confront them. I almost
Speaker 1: think that confronting them at any moment is a good
Speaker 1: thing because I don't know, I feel like you're giving
Speaker 1: them what they want, you know, what's explanation? No, Like,
Speaker 1: if I'm ghosted, so let's say Peter ghost me, um.
Speaker 1: So I suppose me so Peter ghost me? Um, I
Speaker 1: don't want to give him uh Like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to boost his ego and like message him and be like, hey,
Speaker 1: remember me, why did you ghost me? I'm gonna be like, no,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm gonna I get the point. It's
Speaker 1: really that simple. At the end of the day. It's
Speaker 1: it's if if he's not that into you, he's not
Speaker 1: going to message you, or if she's not that into you.
Speaker 1: She's not going to message you. So that's your answer.
Speaker 1: There's no point in digging further. Well, at one point
Speaker 1: you decide where someone's at in the relationship and when
Speaker 1: it's okay to ghost and went Scott. I mean, listen,
Speaker 1: if we're dating for like months and your ghost me, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm going to be knocking on your door. But if
Speaker 1: it's like a month in or like a couple of
Speaker 1: weeks in, like no, chances are that person was probably
Speaker 1: dating other people and something else sparked their interest and
Speaker 1: you just became what's that term when you're like on
Speaker 1: the side venture. Yeah. Yeah. Let me ask you guys
Speaker 1: a question. Is it considered not bening? It considering if
Speaker 1: you haven't met the person? Says in like texting, you
Speaker 1: met this person on online dating app and then like
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks in you just kind of stop responding.
Speaker 1: They text you and you're don't respond. Would that be
Speaker 1: considered if you haven't met a person, Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 1: I think if you're showing some sort of interest and
Speaker 1: you guys are like messaging each other and you know
Speaker 1: you're giving signs that you're into that person, then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden you stop messaging them, you again, you
Speaker 1: start wondering like is this something that I said? Is
Speaker 1: it something you know? Like what is it? So I
Speaker 1: think that's still ghosting in the past. I mean, you
Speaker 1: guys never like I mean, I remember my online dating
Speaker 1: at days, like I never it's just talked to some
Speaker 1: people and then it was just like a week go fine,
Speaker 1: You're like, you know, I don't know if I'm gonna
Speaker 1: beat up with this person ever really realistic, and then
Speaker 1: you do it kind and especially when like both sides
Speaker 1: kind of seemed to like lack the initiative to make
Speaker 1: the move, I can understand why like that would happen,
Speaker 1: especially pre meet up. You know. I think that's definitely
Speaker 1: like the least like least uh severe case of it.
Speaker 1: It's a mild ghost, very mild ghost. I think it
Speaker 1: should be like that three day rule. I mean, if
Speaker 1: you meet I don't know, I guess to Here's think
Speaker 1: you meet somebody in person, you probably shouldn't ghost them.
Speaker 1: You should get this sort of explation why. I agree.
Speaker 1: And here's the thing. As someone that I think I've
Speaker 1: admitted to ghosting people in the past, and I've been
Speaker 1: ghosted in the past, and I think on both sides
Speaker 1: of that, I would prefer to be confronted and to
Speaker 1: confront so I would be like, yes, if you're if
Speaker 1: this upset you, absolutely please like approached me to be
Speaker 1: like where the heck did you go? Guy? Like what
Speaker 1: the heck happened? And on the flip side of it,
Speaker 1: if I got ghosted, I think that we all do answers,
Speaker 1: you know, so I'd be like, what happened? Like why
Speaker 1: did you ghost me? I know I'm not the most
Speaker 1: interesting guy in the world, but like, still, come on,
Speaker 1: you know you're up there though, yeah, not the most
Speaker 1: momst So I think our consensus Vanessa says, why bother
Speaker 1: general consensus days, you've got nothing to lose, go for it. Yes, agreed,
Speaker 1: confront always right in the end. So just I think
Speaker 1: I'm always vent us on this one. Why father, Like,
Speaker 1: what are you gonna do? Confront them? And didn't get
Speaker 1: an explanation of that they just pournt that into you?
Speaker 1: You don't why? Yeah, exactly, you might get a reconfirmation
Speaker 1: that they're not that into you closure. I mean, it
Speaker 1: depends on how deep the relationship went. If you guys
Speaker 1: meant once and you got coast front of ranted. If
Speaker 1: you went on a few days and it was going
Speaker 1: well and then he completely just dropped off the map,
Speaker 1: maybe confront then I agree with that one thing. One
Speaker 1: thing you could always do if you get ghosted and
Speaker 1: like you're maybe a little down on your confidence, whatever
Speaker 1: it is is, you can just hit the gym, you
Speaker 1: get yourself in shape, get that revenge body put back together,
Speaker 1: and the best way to do that. I don't know
Speaker 1: if you guys know this or not, but probably his
Speaker 1: beach Body on Demand. Yeah, we know beach Body on
Speaker 1: a man. You guys have heard of us talk about
Speaker 1: it before. Uh, They've got a great history of success
Speaker 1: with p and d X in Sanity twenty one Day
Speaker 1: fixed the Brazil butt lift, which I've seen Peter actually
Speaker 1: do a few times when we were on the show together.
Speaker 1: Hip Hop abs, which is my personal favorite. I don't
Speaker 1: have abs yet, but I'm still trying to get them
Speaker 1: through Hip Hop Abs. It's the best deal in fitness.
Speaker 1: All the listeners out there can try Beach Body on
Speaker 1: Demand for free by texting Dean tot Um. So what
Speaker 1: are you waiting for? Joining over the one million people
Speaker 1: currently on beach Body on Demand. If you got ghosted.
Speaker 1: If you're looking to get back out there, maybe hit
Speaker 1: the beach and show everyone what you're working with. Check
Speaker 1: it out use code dan to thirty thirty thirty. Um
Speaker 1: you'll get full access to the entire platform for free,
Speaker 1: all the workouts, the nutrition information and support totally free.
Speaker 1: You guys have heard me talk about it before. The
Speaker 1: nutrition part is my biggest uh, I guess grievance when
Speaker 1: it comes to just being fit and having a healthy body.
Speaker 1: So it's nice that they can help with the nutrition information.
Speaker 1: UM so again, check it out checked Dean to thirty
Speaker 1: thirty thirty. That's d E A N too three zero
Speaker 1: three zero three zero and to start your free child today.
Speaker 1: I almost thought that I said too many three zeros,
Speaker 1: but I don't think I got it. And don't get
Speaker 1: ghosted again. If you're looking fit, if that Beach Body
Speaker 1: on Demand is really working it for you, I doubt
Speaker 1: you every get ghosted again. We have to talk to Jared. Yeah, Jared,
Speaker 1: big week for Jared. Jared, something big happened to you
Speaker 1: on TV last night? I don't I don't know if
Speaker 1: you saw that on television last night, but was a
Speaker 1: new episode of Family Guys just just like Cinderella, slipper
Speaker 1: that rig and slid right on to Ashley's fingertudd You're
Speaker 1: the cutest Sharon. Oh, I can't believe I said that.
Speaker 1: I don't even remember. And then they were playing a
Speaker 1: promo a couple of weeks ago and then lust and
Speaker 1: I heard my still weighing voice go, you might not
Speaker 1: remember saying it, but how you weren't surprised that you
Speaker 1: said it right? Like, no one is really shocked. Oh
Speaker 1: my god. I was talking to Nick about it when
Speaker 1: he first heard it. He was like, that was the
Speaker 1: most jared thing I've ever heard. I guess it's appropriate.
Speaker 1: I agree, but it was beautiful. We loved it. Okay,
Speaker 1: So tell us about the experience a little bit. I
Speaker 1: know we've talked to maybe like in depth in the past,
Speaker 1: but now that it's aired and now that we've kind
Speaker 1: of seen it played back to us, like, just give
Speaker 1: us a quick little I guess run down on on
Speaker 1: the entire situation. Yeah, of course, man. So obviously we're
Speaker 1: trying to surprise asthletly, so she didn't really know what
Speaker 1: was going on when we were heading down, is why
Speaker 1: we talking in front of the group, and said oh,
Speaker 1: we're handing out a day card and then we'll go
Speaker 1: to the beach and then we'll wait for a couple
Speaker 1: of se to us when it's back. As soon as
Speaker 1: we had the beach, I knew that I was going
Speaker 1: to suppose at some point, and so it was a
Speaker 1: really beautiful day. Man. And even I was really nervous
Speaker 1: that entire morning. And I remember where she wanted to
Speaker 1: start drinking before in Paradise, and Ashley is not a
Speaker 1: big drinker. He has like a glass campaign he's gonna
Speaker 1: get drunk, but she had the idea that we were
Speaker 1: going for a day card. So it's like Ashley just pleased,
Speaker 1: Like I can't tell you why, I don't want you
Speaker 1: to get drunk, don't do it. And but it was.
Speaker 1: It was a beautiful moment. And the idea to go
Speaker 1: back to Paradise, where I've screwed up so many times
Speaker 1: um with the girl that I love, and to be
Speaker 1: in that moment and make that place right and our
Speaker 1: memories was something that I knew I need to jump
Speaker 1: at the opportunity to and and uh, it was a
Speaker 1: beautiful day in a beautiful moment. We got dinner with
Speaker 1: Tanner and Jay's letter, I say, to celebrate and UM,
Speaker 1: to watch it back last night was nerve racking, to
Speaker 1: say the least. Um. I was excited to see it,
Speaker 1: but I was also very nervous. If I'm being honest, Uh,
Speaker 1: if you guys are watching, you know that acts like
Speaker 1: boy Frank, Kevin is down to Paradise and I knew,
Speaker 1: I mean when I got proposed, when I proposed down there,
Speaker 1: obviously I knew that Kevin was there. We saw him
Speaker 1: for a very quick second. So I didn't know what
Speaker 1: was going to happen after we left. But that was
Speaker 1: very nervous. I can not really know what was going
Speaker 1: to happen. And it was hard because going down to Paradise,
Speaker 1: I didn't know if Kevin was there or not. You know,
Speaker 1: as we can all attest, if you're not there, you
Speaker 1: don't know who's there, who's left, You're still there. And
Speaker 1: I no one warned you or like, no one gave
Speaker 1: you the heads up. Well, I mean you guys, So
Speaker 1: what happened? It was I I didn't ask for anything really,
Speaker 1: um that specific, because I knew that if Kevin was
Speaker 1: down there, I was gonna ask for one thing, which
Speaker 1: was him not to be there, like please do wherever
Speaker 1: you need to do to make sure that Astley and
Speaker 1: I was down there, and this is you know, the
Speaker 1: short time that we are down there is just for us. Um.
Speaker 1: And so I was on the phone the night before
Speaker 1: more uh you know, being as uh you know, stern
Speaker 1: as I possibly can be, uh you know, with with
Speaker 1: certain people to try to make sure that he wasn't there,
Speaker 1: and unfortunately it just wasn't really possible. And so it
Speaker 1: came down to me either proposing, um, which I had
Speaker 1: been planning for a month and a half, well before
Speaker 1: Kevin was even casting on Paradise. It just worked out
Speaker 1: this way, and it was like really soon into the relationship. Uh.
Speaker 1: That was really like at the very beginning of the relationship,
Speaker 1: you knew you were going to propose. Well, I think
Speaker 1: he made that pretty clear, like he he was saying,
Speaker 1: if we're going to start dating, it's going to be
Speaker 1: it for everything. So I think even like once they
Speaker 1: began being romantic, you kind of knew, right Jared, Oh totally,
Speaker 1: Like we started like we were pretty much boyfriend girlfriend
Speaker 1: like mid to late March, and um, you know, a
Speaker 1: month in I was like, I'm I'm absolutely proposed in
Speaker 1: to actually I have no doubts about it, and then I, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, started talking about proposing down in power. It's
Speaker 1: been about mid May, so it's probably about a little
Speaker 1: two months roughly about us dating. Granted we've known each
Speaker 1: other for over three years with a long history, I
Speaker 1: think it was a little different, UM. And so so
Speaker 1: that was obviously difficult knowing that, like, there was pretty
Speaker 1: much nothing I could do either I proposed, uh and
Speaker 1: see Kevin for a quick second, UM, or I don't.
Speaker 1: And so I made the decision to UM proposed because
Speaker 1: I didn't want to say no, simply because it's Kevin's
Speaker 1: feelings and I hope that he can understand and respect that. UM.
Speaker 1: And obviously, you know, when I was on the phone, UM,
Speaker 1: you know, pretty much making sure that Lesten, if he's there,
Speaker 1: can you please just make it as less as little
Speaker 1: awkward as possible And they said they would. You know,
Speaker 1: it was in the moment, weren't someone for that quick
Speaker 1: second when he was in the crowd of people, and
Speaker 1: then we left and I didn't see him at all
Speaker 1: until he was very nice and he congratulated. So it
Speaker 1: was like around the pieces just Astley and myself. Um,
Speaker 1: was it weird seeing like the conversations that they had
Speaker 1: of you guys after because obviously you weren't. Isn't for
Speaker 1: that when it happened, but then you see it back
Speaker 1: played back on TV? You know what I mean? Yeah,
Speaker 1: of course, Like and I can't really blame Kevin at all.
Speaker 1: I mean, if I saw my ex, even if it
Speaker 1: was only a short relationship, come in and getting sort
Speaker 1: of the guy i'd see too, how could you not
Speaker 1: see so? Um, I mean it's hard to know that.
Speaker 1: It's just you know, it really worked out the way
Speaker 1: it did where he was there and then you know,
Speaker 1: we had this engagement plan for a little while, so
Speaker 1: it's just it worked out not really that well, but
Speaker 1: it still was just a wonder pumona for Astley and myself.
Speaker 1: And the thing is, you know, Kevin seems to be
Speaker 1: very happy with another girl, so aren't happy about that.
Speaker 1: And I think it worked out for all parties, where
Speaker 1: even Kevin tweeted this last night where he was just like,
Speaker 1: you know, I was able to move on, but they're happy,
Speaker 1: So it worked out for everybody. So at what point
Speaker 1: do you think I actually knew that you were asking
Speaker 1: her to marry you. Well, she may have knew uh
Speaker 1: in the hotel of before we left. I don't know
Speaker 1: if you knew or not, but she knew that there
Speaker 1: was an inkling of a possibility that we can get
Speaker 1: engaged and drop the pins for the months prior. She
Speaker 1: was like, hey, you asked me tomorrow. I say yes,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, that's funny. And then she
Speaker 1: told me that I was not allowed. We weren't We
Speaker 1: couldn't move in together until we were engaged. And I
Speaker 1: was like, well, actually stay in Neuvembor. We're not engaged
Speaker 1: and we want to live together. And it's like, why
Speaker 1: don't that's on you say yesterday. I think as soon
Speaker 1: as we started walking to the beach towards the middle
Speaker 1: of the day, bed and I stopped and started, just like,
Speaker 1: you know, saying how much I loved her. I think
Speaker 1: she knew in that moment it's about to go down. Um.
Speaker 1: So it was cool. She was walking in the sand
Speaker 1: with her feels, you know, just like a queen. So
Speaker 1: did you get to sit down with did you sit
Speaker 1: down with Neil Lane and pick out her ring? No?
Speaker 1: So I was on the phone. Um, I didn't access
Speaker 1: to the ring at the right there. I saw pictures
Speaker 1: of it. Um. I was on the phone um for
Speaker 1: a few weeks prior, um, you know, saying what I
Speaker 1: wanted in the ring and actually wanted the ring. And
Speaker 1: it worked out because actually somebody, you know, friend to
Speaker 1: somebody producers that she had talked to them prior about
Speaker 1: a ring that she wanted, and I talked to herself
Speaker 1: a Lauren about everything that she wanted in a ring.
Speaker 1: Felt well, we're able to narrow down to the ring
Speaker 1: that we wanted. And actually we didn't pick out the
Speaker 1: ring because Neil didn't have a ring that we wanted,
Speaker 1: so he actually state it for ustly, which was incredible. Um.
Speaker 1: And so it's cool. So we walked down. Give you
Speaker 1: the s stairs. When we walked down the paradise, there's
Speaker 1: one and then you say hi to Harrison and then
Speaker 1: there's another sets stairs from the beach. So when we
Speaker 1: first walked down, they had to figure out a way
Speaker 1: to get me the ring. And so one of the
Speaker 1: producers was like, all right, I'm gonna want you guys
Speaker 1: down separately the first that you know, in case you
Speaker 1: want to tease that you guys might be coming in alone.
Speaker 1: And then the second SETI stators you can walk down together,
Speaker 1: And of course that was a floying because he was like,
Speaker 1: all right, do you go first? When I walked down
Speaker 1: the stairs and there was another producer waiting for me,
Speaker 1: and he's like, well, I have something for you, and
Speaker 1: that's where he gave me the ring and all they
Speaker 1: just actually see it in person and not over the
Speaker 1: phone for the first time, and really he gave me
Speaker 1: like a minute to myself just soak in that moment
Speaker 1: and decided to just remember everything I was gonna say,
Speaker 1: um and just have that, you know, a couple of
Speaker 1: minutes just by myself with the ring, realizing what this
Speaker 1: symbolizes and what I'm about to do. So it was
Speaker 1: it was a wonderful day and watching it back was
Speaker 1: beautiful and I was just my parents last night, and um,
Speaker 1: we just sat in my living room and eagerly waited
Speaker 1: for the proposal to air, and it was a really
Speaker 1: great moment. I feel like you had it such a
Speaker 1: unique situation because your engagement was announced basically the day
Speaker 1: after it happened, and then so you got to experience
Speaker 1: that and then obviously like you've had the two months
Speaker 1: since that too. Now and you kind of got to
Speaker 1: like relive it. It's like a very unique up like experience.
Speaker 1: And I feel like that's just super awesome because obviously
Speaker 1: we all watched it last night. Um, it was very
Speaker 1: unique and I'm very grateful for it. But it's crazy
Speaker 1: when you think, because I remember when we got engaged
Speaker 1: in Paradise, thinking, Okay, well, I guess we can't really
Speaker 1: talk about it for the next two months, and then
Speaker 1: later that night we got a text saying, hey, we
Speaker 1: might see something tomorrow. Um, good morning, America might have something.
Speaker 1: We're like, okay, And then the next morning it was
Speaker 1: the picture of me on one knee and was like, okay,
Speaker 1: well we don't have to hide it, which is great,
Speaker 1: and then it holds up until it actually airs. So
Speaker 1: it was a very speak engagement to say the least,
Speaker 1: not only because it was on TV with statual on Paradise,
Speaker 1: but the fact that it was announced two months five
Speaker 1: that everybody else witnessing it. Um, But it was a
Speaker 1: pretty incredible moment. Yeah, and now we got all basking
Speaker 1: it with you, which is even more incredible. I think
Speaker 1: you know, I know you put you poor bastard, you
Speaker 1: have to hear about it for so long and now
Speaker 1: it's just got air and now you gotta talk more
Speaker 1: about it. Got as long as this is the last
Speaker 1: time we ever have to talk about it, I'm fine.
Speaker 1: I don't blame you there. Yeah, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Um.
Speaker 1: But currently I'm in Rhode Island, which I'm not on studio,
Speaker 1: and we're looking at wedding venues and we think we
Speaker 1: just might have found the venue. So is it? Is
Speaker 1: it Taylor Swift's house. It's not living Rhode Island. Fortunately
Speaker 1: we got to sneak in and we got arrested, but
Speaker 1: that the whole different story. But it is a beautiful,
Speaker 1: beautiful mansion that is very great. Gats feel like, uh
Speaker 1: that walked in. You guys should get married at the
Speaker 1: Bachelor mansion. No, no, come on formality's sake. You guys
Speaker 1: met on Bachelor show, you met on another Bachelor's show,
Speaker 1: you got engaged on a Bachelor's show, and I was
Speaker 1: time to get married on another Bachelor location. And I swear,
Speaker 1: if you don't birth your first child somewhere in Bachelor
Speaker 1: Nations location, baptize them in the pool. Yeah. Well, the
Speaker 1: thing about the mansion, we actually kind of talked about it,
Speaker 1: we were joking about it, but we actually had a
Speaker 1: chance to go back there a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 1: And the thing that's weird about that is that when
Speaker 1: I'm back there, Caitlin was my bachelor, right and Chris
Speaker 1: was birth bachelor, So all our memories there are other people.
Speaker 1: So that's why we're like, we would never want to
Speaker 1: get married here. Because we walked in We're like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: that was where I talked to Talen. She's like, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: that's where I talked to Chris, and I was like,
Speaker 1: let's not do that here. That is I mean, that's
Speaker 1: definitely interesting. I saw the pictures. But yeah, um, all right, Jenedal,
Speaker 1: thanks thanks for sharing all of that. Obviously, it's it's
Speaker 1: great to see we're so happy, you're actually happy together. Um,
Speaker 1: good luck picking up the venue. Well, it sounds like
Speaker 1: you already got then you picked out I guess right,
Speaker 1: So we'll see that. We'll see that what next year
Speaker 1: in what like August is when the wedding is going
Speaker 1: to be. We're thinking August right now, and so yeah,
Speaker 1: of course you guys are going to be invited and
Speaker 1: it's going to be a great time. So it'll be fun.
Speaker 1: Nice man. Will East and I be invited of course,
Speaker 1: guys men, and now that you are Peter, our friends too.
Speaker 1: He has tote Peter, you're coming to I just met you.
Speaker 1: I've never bet you a person, but you can get
Speaker 1: yourself in trouble real quick one and you can bring Peter. Oh.
Speaker 1: I thought we were bating whether or not I was
Speaker 1: gonna get a plus one. But yeah that's the case.
Speaker 1: I'm there. Can I bring up plus five? I've just
Speaker 1: got a bunch of friends up, um, sweet man. Well,
Speaker 1: like I said, we're all stoked for you. It was
Speaker 1: great to be able to see it played back. I
Speaker 1: know we've kind of all been waiting for this moment
Speaker 1: since it happened. I guess a lot. I's been waiting
Speaker 1: for it for about three years, and so it's nice
Speaker 1: to finally see it all come full circle. It's kind
Speaker 1: of funny the commentary afterwards, Jenna was like, it just
Speaker 1: goes to show you that all it takes is like
Speaker 1: a little persistence of just breaking someone down year after
Speaker 1: year after years, merciful, mercilessly. Yeah exactly. Um, but yeah,
Speaker 1: it'll worked out obviously. That's great. Um, I'm lucky guy man.
Speaker 1: All Right, guys, you guys have fun, talk more about
Speaker 1: dating than hopefully when I see you next off a
Speaker 1: little bit. Yeah, get back to the studio. We miss
Speaker 1: you in here alright. Um, well, that reminds me that
Speaker 1: whole conversation for just some reasons. Just I don't know.
Speaker 1: Why have you guys ever heard of twenty three and me, yes,
Speaker 1: you did it? I haven't, But let me tell you,
Speaker 1: I really want to do this because you can test
Speaker 1: your ancestry. And apparently my last name is Grimaldi, so
Speaker 1: I might have royal blood. Guys, what do you mean? Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's like the royal family in Monaco's their last name
Speaker 1: is Grimaldi. So I'm like, I have to spin this
Speaker 1: tube to see if I get if I have like
Speaker 1: any royal blood. So are they processing your saliva right now?
Speaker 1: Uh no, but I'm gonna definitely order it right Well,
Speaker 1: remember that restaurant I was in Denver on Friday night
Speaker 1: this past weekend, and then there's a restaurant called Grimaldi's.
Speaker 1: Yes you sent me that. Maybe it's a royal restaurant
Speaker 1: in Denver, you know. Well, anyways, for those of you
Speaker 1: that don't know what twenty three and me is it's
Speaker 1: as said, it's a DNA testing service that can offer
Speaker 1: insights in your ancestry, health, wellness, and traits. It's pretty cool.
Speaker 1: It's easy to do. You basically spit into a tube
Speaker 1: provided by the twenty three kit, mail your saliva sample
Speaker 1: back to the lab to let it be analyzed. Um.
Speaker 1: It gives you back a lot of like really crazy
Speaker 1: reports that you never really thought to consider, like your
Speaker 1: bitter taste report, and it's like the sweetber salty reports,
Speaker 1: so your DNA can play a role in determining those
Speaker 1: food preferences from sweet salty to bitter. Um. And it's
Speaker 1: funny because I've always thought like I don't know exactly
Speaker 1: what I like. I just obviously like just continuous to
Speaker 1: eat it, like a little lot of chocolate, whatever it is.
Speaker 1: But it's weird to see like the the DNA driven
Speaker 1: results that kind of tell you about it. It is
Speaker 1: weird because it said to me, like you probably have
Speaker 1: detached your up him like I do. Or there's there's
Speaker 1: the sleep reports one where it's like the deep sleep
Speaker 1: report tells you if you're more likely to be an
Speaker 1: especially deep sleeper and mindset. I'm not so like I,
Speaker 1: which is true, like I've wake up all the time
Speaker 1: randomly and like the smallest little sounds, so it's weird
Speaker 1: to see that. And then the the lactose and Talance Report,
Speaker 1: which sheds lights what sheds light into how your genetics
Speaker 1: may affect your ability to digest dairy products. And then
Speaker 1: the bigger picture, of course, is like our boss here
Speaker 1: at Kiss. The family's name is John, and he found
Speaker 1: half sisters he never knew. He a crazy story, and
Speaker 1: he's actually developed a relationship with them. They're close now,
Speaker 1: Like it's really been a life changing things for him.
Speaker 1: To spit in that tube. I see, I did not
Speaker 1: discover that, although I did so. It gives you back obviously,
Speaker 1: like the locations from which your ancestors are most likely from,
Speaker 1: and I was very hopeful they'd be like five percent
Speaker 1: something like interesting, right, but in the exotic exotic maybe
Speaker 1: like Africa or like Native American, Australian somewhere in Asia.
Speaker 1: But I'm a European, which is very boring. Boring, It's
Speaker 1: pretty boring. I'm gonna be honest, I think it is. Anyway,
Speaker 1: Order your twenty three and me Health and Ancestry Service
Speaker 1: Kit at twenty three and me dot com slash Dean.
Speaker 1: That's the numbers two and three A N D M
Speaker 1: E dot com slash d E A N. Just go there,
Speaker 1: order it. You can see, like we said, your your
Speaker 1: sleep reports, your bitter taste, your sweet resalted reports. Maybe
Speaker 1: you'll find some half siblings out there in the world
Speaker 1: or no. And by the way, also you haven't found
Speaker 1: any yet, but it is always kind of repopulating. More
Speaker 1: people are going in all the time. You're gonna get
Speaker 1: emails like we found more genetic matches for you, and
Speaker 1: then you go in and see how close they are,
Speaker 1: which would be pretty cool. Like I said, I think
Speaker 1: when I was driving through Ireland, I came across an
Speaker 1: Unglert's bakery. Oh yeah, I want them to take their
Speaker 1: genetic report because I'm still convinced we have some relation
Speaker 1: to each other. And wouldn't that be the something, because
Speaker 1: lord knows I love big goods. Anyways, check it out again.
Speaker 1: That's twenty three and me dot com slash dean. Go ahead,
Speaker 1: buy your kit, spitting the tube, send it back to
Speaker 1: them and see kind of exactly where you're from. Um.
Speaker 1: Next step, let's jump into our main man. Peter Krasso
Speaker 1: know it's funny because I think like maybe the second
Speaker 1: episode we had was with Peter, Is that right? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I came on pretty early in there. So can you
Speaker 1: update us on what's going on with you? Same old time.
Speaker 1: I'm living in Madison, Wisconsin. Uh, not a whole lot,
Speaker 1: same stuff. I've been doing it so I have my
Speaker 1: personal training business back there and opening up a gym
Speaker 1: in the late winter early spring kind of time traveling
Speaker 1: country right now teaching my big time boot camps. Actually
Speaker 1: had one in l A tomorrow. Check it out. I'll
Speaker 1: be there the air this airs tonight. Everybody should come
Speaker 1: to my my boot camp at Dodgers Stadium tomorrow at
Speaker 1: Dodger Stadium on the field and go check it out.
Speaker 1: It's on my page's people show up. You could accommodate.
Speaker 1: We could. Then it's not gonna be but we could.
Speaker 1: Fingers crossed well tomorrow being September five, Wednesday, Wednesday, so
Speaker 1: the game's at four thirty, but the actual bootcam starts
Speaker 1: around seventh third. I'll be right after the game. It's
Speaker 1: gonna be exciting, it's gonna be fun. Well, I would
Speaker 1: definitely come and support. I appreciate that. I think you
Speaker 1: can still fly out now. I'm going to Toronto tomorrow. No,
Speaker 1: I'm going for a conference. I'm going with Taylor Nolan
Speaker 1: for my season. So it's it's a really cool conference.
Speaker 1: It's a couple of hours north from Toronto, and there's
Speaker 1: a bunch of investors and startup companies, people who have
Speaker 1: started companies and um, so yeah, I'm going to learn
Speaker 1: a bunch of stuff there. But I think the most
Speaker 1: important question that I'm asking myself and a lot of
Speaker 1: probably women are asking themselves, Peter, are you still single?
Speaker 1: I am currently single. Yes, great question, Vanessa. I know
Speaker 1: everyone was thinking it. Wait, so have you dated since
Speaker 1: the show? So I just like I haven't really been
Speaker 1: like fully immersed into like the Bachelor franchise after my
Speaker 1: season PTSD, it's real people. Um, but you were like
Speaker 1: really well loved and liked and everyone wanted you to
Speaker 1: be the next lead, and um, you didn't do anything
Speaker 1: kind of like me. You didn't do anything after your
Speaker 1: season of after Rachel season, you didn't do Paradise, you
Speaker 1: didn't do win You just you didn't do win our games. Um,
Speaker 1: so you've kind of like distanced yourself from the franchise. Um,
Speaker 1: have you dated anyone from the franchise, though I have
Speaker 1: not dated anybody from the franchise. Now, Okay, I did
Speaker 1: get back into like kind of casual dating though, Uh,
Speaker 1: get on or got on a dating app, which we
Speaker 1: were talking about ghost and all that. That definitely came
Speaker 1: back up because you got on a dating app. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I'm back on Bumble. I was on Bumble. I
Speaker 1: think I got kicked off right now. I don't think
Speaker 1: I actually got kicked off. I just can't log on
Speaker 1: and it won't. Okay, so Peter's on Bumble guys or
Speaker 1: I am on Bumble. I feel like ghosting is much
Speaker 1: more prevalent on dating dating apps. It's ridiculous. Well, there's
Speaker 1: just so many conversations going on at once. You kind
Speaker 1: of get lost into it without realizing it that you're
Speaker 1: looking for the most exciting one. But then if that
Speaker 1: doesn't come, you just kind of lose all of them,
Speaker 1: and it's unfortunate. I'd rather focus on one or two
Speaker 1: specific people, try and just have a really good conversation
Speaker 1: with them and then build from there. But now, when
Speaker 1: there's so many options, it just it's overwhelming, so that
Speaker 1: you lose all of them. So do you think going
Speaker 1: on a dating app is the new way of meeting someone,
Speaker 1: because I've never been really to go on a dating app.
Speaker 1: What depends what you do for living? Are you busy?
Speaker 1: Are you? I'm very busy, But I want to meet
Speaker 1: someone organically. I want to meet, like I don't know,
Speaker 1: like Dean introduces me to someone who thinks, you know,
Speaker 1: we'd be a great match. I don't want to meet.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I meet. I mean, I'd love
Speaker 1: to introduce you to my friend Peter. I be a
Speaker 1: great match. I heard he's great, So I mean we
Speaker 1: started off on the wrong foot, but you know what
Speaker 1: we might have, like a story like Jared and Nashley
Speaker 1: oh Man looking deep in the future. Now, I will
Speaker 1: say a lot of it depends on location as well.
Speaker 1: Maybe a lot of it, but a good amount of
Speaker 1: it because Wisconsin maybe doesn't have as much of a
Speaker 1: dating pool, or someone like Los Angeles is college town,
Speaker 1: so there's a lot of turnovers. But Peter doesn't want
Speaker 1: to be dating. I realized, yeah, there are there are
Speaker 1: no college kids in my first evil future, which is good.
Speaker 1: I mean, maybe like a graduate student perhaps for Peter
Speaker 1: or you guys, the guys in the studio. What is so, Peter,
Speaker 1: you're thirty two, Dean your twenties seven? Then yes, ma'am. Okay,
Speaker 1: what's the youngest you would date? Like, what's the cut
Speaker 1: off line mind set of guys? I one, that's starting though,
Speaker 1: I mean, but it's the Yeah, you can go upwards
Speaker 1: over Okay, Fine, what's the highest? What's what's the highest? Okay,
Speaker 1: maybe thirty eight, but again then you can have with
Speaker 1: numbers on anything. All right, let's get your floor me, um.
Speaker 1: I honestly, I don't know. I'm so conflicted because I've
Speaker 1: dated guys who so I'm turning thirty one, and I've
Speaker 1: dated guys who were ten years older and they acted
Speaker 1: ten years younger. And then I've dated guys who well,
Speaker 1: I did one or two guys that were a little
Speaker 1: bit younger than me and it was just catastrophe. So
Speaker 1: I don't know. I guess like, I want to try
Speaker 1: dating someone around thirty to thirty five, um, because I
Speaker 1: feel like in that age range they're maybe not as
Speaker 1: jaded s someone who is a little bit older, and
Speaker 1: someone who I feel like is a little bit older
Speaker 1: might have commitment phobia. Do you think someone that's older
Speaker 1: has commitment. No, Well, listen the guys that I've dated,
Speaker 1: every guy, I mean, look at my history. Every guy
Speaker 1: is still single. And I'm like, is it me that
Speaker 1: basically like screw them up? Or no, I cannot be that,
Speaker 1: Or is it there just like scared of commitment? Do
Speaker 1: you believe that there's a person for everybody? Like there
Speaker 1: is a person for you? I think there are multiple
Speaker 1: people that, um you are quote unquote meant to be with,
Speaker 1: or people that you connect with on a deeper level.
Speaker 1: I don't think there's that one specific person. I think
Speaker 1: we've had this conversation with Jared, and I think Jared
Speaker 1: believed that there was one. I don't. I don't know
Speaker 1: if it was anyway, but I think in life, you know,
Speaker 1: like I was living in l A. Does it mean
Speaker 1: that my guy was in l A. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Now I'm in Montreal, does me my guys in Montreal?
Speaker 1: I don't know. It could be that my guys in
Speaker 1: Europe or my guys in Austria, or it doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that wherever you are that that's where you're going to
Speaker 1: find your person. I think your person is out there.
Speaker 1: It all depends on where you are in life. But
Speaker 1: fate will force you together, right, So maybe that's why
Speaker 1: you went to Montreal. You went back to Montreal because
Speaker 1: that's where he was waiting for you. I've heard thirty
Speaker 1: three is the age where guys want to settle down
Speaker 1: because thirty they get freaked out by thirty and then
Speaker 1: the first few years of the thirties are spent in denial,
Speaker 1: pretending they're still in their twenties. Thirty three and they're like,
Speaker 1: you know what, it's time. Well, so Peter thirty one,
Speaker 1: is he still pretended? I feel like I've actually been
Speaker 1: the probably three stages in my life where I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm ready to settle down, and then it was in
Speaker 1: a relationship but didn't work out. Now in fact, like
Speaker 1: I'm not ready to settle down. So I think it's
Speaker 1: all depending on where you're in your life, whether you're
Speaker 1: open for somebody. I hate the same settle down like
Speaker 1: soe not literally you know, like I'm done going out
Speaker 1: and partying all the time. Settling myself down negative connotation
Speaker 1: to it, like no, I want to like be with
Speaker 1: this person. For yes, settling does, but settling down a
Speaker 1: thirty one the guys ready to make a commitment. I
Speaker 1: know I've talked about this on the podcast before, but
Speaker 1: have you guys ever read Plato Symposium East Eastern has
Speaker 1: We've talked about this one before. We used it in
Speaker 1: my wedding. That's right, ultimate commitment, which is amazing. Yes,
Speaker 1: So there's that story on in Plato Symposium where back
Speaker 1: in Greek mythology, people were conjoined at the hip. Basically
Speaker 1: you had four arms, four legs, two heads, and Zeus,
Speaker 1: fearing the power of these ultimate humans, split them in
Speaker 1: half with a lightning bolt, and then your life from
Speaker 1: that point forward is the pursuit of finding the person
Speaker 1: that he split you in half from. I think that's
Speaker 1: romantic in a sense, where there's one person out there
Speaker 1: for you and it's the person that you were supposed
Speaker 1: to be conjoined with from birth, and you're, yeah, Zeus
Speaker 1: splitting everybody else, Yeah, zeus, what the hell we're trying
Speaker 1: to be happy? Unbelievable. So to that point, I disagree
Speaker 1: with Vanessa. I don't think that there are multiple people
Speaker 1: out there. I think I'm more on Jared side of
Speaker 1: things by saying there is one person out there that
Speaker 1: will provide you complete and utter happiness, and that's your
Speaker 1: life is to find that person. So you settled down
Speaker 1: before you find that person. No, I say settled down again?
Speaker 1: But I don't know what another term? You don't like
Speaker 1: that term? What is the term? I think until I'm
Speaker 1: unable to pride myself away from someone for an extended
Speaker 1: period of time, I will not be fully convinced that
Speaker 1: I found my forever person. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like if I'm not, if I don't have like this
Speaker 1: undeniable gravitational pull towards someone and like some just utter
Speaker 1: weird distaste for zeus for knowing that he kept me
Speaker 1: apart from this person up till this point in my life.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna I just I don't know. That's just
Speaker 1: how I feel. Have you not had that at this point? Um?
Speaker 1: I thought I've had it, like in high school when
Speaker 1: I dated this girl. Um, like definitely the first love
Speaker 1: of my life. I've been in love. I just obviously
Speaker 1: it hasn't worked out up to this point, so I
Speaker 1: don't I would say, no, I don't think I've had
Speaker 1: it up to now. All you know, well, you, like
Speaker 1: I said, you just you got to be attached to him,
Speaker 1: like like bel Crow listen, I dated someone in my
Speaker 1: when I was twenty four and I thought this was it,
Speaker 1: this is the love of my life. We were looking
Speaker 1: for a house and engagement rings and all that, and
Speaker 1: I think at that point in my life, I I
Speaker 1: was I don't I know, I was in love, but
Speaker 1: he wasn't the right person for me. He just didn't
Speaker 1: want to have kids. And I spoke about this before.
Speaker 1: So I think that was my biggest love um up
Speaker 1: to date. And if to look back, like, I think
Speaker 1: at that stage in my life, that's who I was
Speaker 1: meant to be with. And I learned and I grew
Speaker 1: so much from that relationship. And it was the most
Speaker 1: heart wrenching breakup ever ever, And UM, I'm happy I
Speaker 1: went through it because then I got to meet Nick,
Speaker 1: and then I got to meet you know, I got
Speaker 1: to have this podcast with you guys, and I you know,
Speaker 1: I have so many great like love stories after that breakup.
Speaker 1: So I don't think there's one person and I don't know,
Speaker 1: I just feel like there's multiple people that you can
Speaker 1: connect with on a deeper level. And for me, I
Speaker 1: want to be able to find that person that will
Speaker 1: encourage me to UM be a better version of myself
Speaker 1: and will be my cheerleader because I'm always like that
Speaker 1: person in a relationship that has to I feel like
Speaker 1: I love being the person who's encouraging my man to
Speaker 1: do better and to do more and to succeed. And
Speaker 1: you know, and I never really had that reciprocated. I
Speaker 1: never had a guy who was like, yeah, yeah, like
Speaker 1: do more with your career or like reach a higher level.
Speaker 1: I was always that person giving my all, and that's
Speaker 1: what I'm seeking for at this stage in my life.
Speaker 1: You know, like I'm emotionally stable, financially stable, or emotionally
Speaker 1: stable as much as I could be. But I want
Speaker 1: to find someone who's who wants to grow with me
Speaker 1: and um to find that equal partnership. So I feel
Speaker 1: like that shouldn't be that hard to find, right That
Speaker 1: bar seems pretty low to me. It's not, it's not.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, like I want to find
Speaker 1: someone who will be a great father because I know,
Speaker 1: like I cried about this last last episode, but I
Speaker 1: know how great of a mother I'm going to be,
Speaker 1: and I want to be able to find someone who's
Speaker 1: going to be even a better father than I will
Speaker 1: ever be a mother, you know. So I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's it's tough because I want Yeah, it's it's really simple.
Speaker 1: What I'm looking for is really simple. I want to
Speaker 1: have fun. That's the thing. I want to be able
Speaker 1: to be with someone and just have fun with them,
Speaker 1: and you know, not make big things, small things into
Speaker 1: like big arguments. Um. Yeah, so it's not. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't I can't find them. Um. Before we move on here,
Speaker 1: and Peter, you can stick around for this. We need
Speaker 1: to tease, to tease what's coming up here, because it's
Speaker 1: pretty exciting. Dean's getting hypnotized on this show. Should have
Speaker 1: mentioned it before. Now let's put that in big letters
Speaker 1: in the description. Because Dean's getting hypnotized. I'm so excited.
Speaker 1: What are you hoping to accomplish with this? Um? What
Speaker 1: am I hoping? Well, first and foremost, let me just
Speaker 1: put it out there that I'm a large skeptic when
Speaker 1: it comes to the kind of thing, all right, and
Speaker 1: so I'm predicting nothing is going to happen from it.
Speaker 1: All right. You don't think you're gonna get hypnotize. I
Speaker 1: don't think I'll be hypnotized. I'll be shocked if you change.
Speaker 1: What are we going to make you dance like a chicken.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I trust you enough to believe
Speaker 1: that it's true. So here's here's what we told Nancy.
Speaker 1: Who's gonna be coming into hypnotize Doctor Nancy Irwin. Dr
Speaker 1: Nancy Irwin fantastic hypnotherapist. She's been on many shows, She's
Speaker 1: done an incredible job. Um. I personally never been hypnotized.
Speaker 1: I've always been very skeptical of these things. And she
Speaker 1: asked us what I would be interested in discovering about
Speaker 1: myself through this hypno therapy um, And I said, the
Speaker 1: one thing that I would prefer to kind of like
Speaker 1: get a better understanding of, if it's at all possible,
Speaker 1: is to help me uncover some sort of hidden passion
Speaker 1: that I have that could provide direction and for me
Speaker 1: in life, right um. And so like while I thought
Speaker 1: about that, I was like, well, maybe I should like
Speaker 1: have it be dating centric like that kind of thing. Um,
Speaker 1: But I think that the one thing that I need
Speaker 1: to really focus on is finding that direction for myself
Speaker 1: in life. And so that's why I'm hoping she can
Speaker 1: help uncover for me, or at least maybe she had
Speaker 1: like a little bit of light on and open a
Speaker 1: or a window, whatever it might be. Um So we'll see.
Speaker 1: But again, I'm not expecting much. But you're gonna you're
Speaker 1: gonna give it. You're all right, You're not just gonna see.
Speaker 1: I'll be very I'm inherently just through with everything in
Speaker 1: the world. I'm very skeptical. I'll ask many questions, but
Speaker 1: I have no problem. Um, I guess, like what's the word, Uh,
Speaker 1: like unraveling myself and being open to those types of ideas.
Speaker 1: You do have something you would really legitimately like to
Speaker 1: discover about yourself. Sure, and if a pseudoscience will help
Speaker 1: me get there, then that then that attitude because but
Speaker 1: it'll be very interesting. And like I said, Nancy is
Speaker 1: a very prominent hypno therapist. She she's been in a
Speaker 1: lot of TV, a lot of great people. Um so
Speaker 1: she's coming in studio right Yeah, she's waiting outside the
Speaker 1: door right now. So let's talk about audible for a second.
Speaker 1: Oh I love audio books, how about you, Vanessa? Absolutely,
Speaker 1: I'm listening right now to my The Husband's Secret by
Speaker 1: Leanne Maririty because I don't have time to read, but
Speaker 1: I have a long commute every day in Los Angeles,
Speaker 1: so I listened to it and it's really gripping. What
Speaker 1: is it called again, The Husband's Secret? Okay, I'll put
Speaker 1: that one next on my Audible list. I'm listening to
Speaker 1: Sapiens right now. Sapiens. Yeah, it's really good. Is that
Speaker 1: a fiction or nonfiction or it's just it's like the
Speaker 1: out of the progression and evolution of human kinds? Wow,
Speaker 1: that's this is high end. Mine is about a wife
Speaker 1: who finds out her husband. I love books like that.
Speaker 1: There's a book that I listen to on Audible not
Speaker 1: too long ago called um O the Morning. What the
Speaker 1: heck was it? It was about a woman who had
Speaker 1: short term memory loss and she would wake up every
Speaker 1: morning and not know who her husband was. They made
Speaker 1: a movie out of it, not the notebook. The moral
Speaker 1: of the story is. I listened to it on Audible.
Speaker 1: It was an incredible experience because Audible it makes reading easy.
Speaker 1: As Mark said, you can listen to it while you're
Speaker 1: driving in traffic, or or falling asleep, whenever time you're
Speaker 1: able to really listen to music, or any time you
Speaker 1: can fill it in with audible. Um, you know, listen
Speaker 1: to a new book, read a new book. Essentially, I
Speaker 1: have a question for you, because I've had this debate
Speaker 1: with my friend recently. If you listen to a book
Speaker 1: on Audible and then your friends are talking about reading
Speaker 1: that same book, can you chime in and be like, oh,
Speaker 1: I read that book. Yeah you can't. I listened to
Speaker 1: that book. Anyways. It's a it's a better way to
Speaker 1: binge content you of while doing the things you love,
Speaker 1: like you know, driving, working out, whatever. It might be.
Speaker 1: Audible as the largest selection of audio books on the planet,
Speaker 1: which lets you fill your summer with more stories like
Speaker 1: Sapiens or like Marx book which is before that's what
Speaker 1: it is. Thank you so much, um fantastic block. It
Speaker 1: was literally It's funny too because while I was listening
Speaker 1: to that, I would often transition between that and music
Speaker 1: and the very I was listening to Kago at the time,
Speaker 1: and so now whenever I hear Kigo, I think of
Speaker 1: like this, I get like it's stressed out in anxiety
Speaker 1: because like, the book is really good, but it like
Speaker 1: places you in it so well. Um, in Audible was
Speaker 1: a bit part of that because obviously it kind of
Speaker 1: places you in it. So they hope you listen to
Speaker 1: more books by letting switch seamlessly between devices, pick up
Speaker 1: exactly where you left off, whether it's your phone, your car,
Speaker 1: your tablet, your Amazon Echo. You get all of those
Speaker 1: through tons of books while doing anything you want. UM
Speaker 1: and if you want, you can start your thirty day
Speaker 1: trial and get your very first audio book for free.
Speaker 1: Because go to audible dot com slash dean dating or
Speaker 1: text dean dating to five five hundred UM. Check it out,
Speaker 1: read some books, listen to some books. Again, it's uh
Speaker 1: audible dot com slash d E A N D A
Speaker 1: t I n G or text dan dating to five hundred,
Speaker 1: five hundred. You can do it all with audio books.
Speaker 1: Check it out before we go to Sleep's available right
Speaker 1: now on audible. Looking at it right here, And people
Speaker 1: really love the narrator in particular. I like it too,
Speaker 1: And there is but there's a lot of similarities between
Speaker 1: that book in the book. Do you like I feel yes.
Speaker 1: I think it sounds like like like kind of like
Speaker 1: a fiction thrillers in mine, and I'm not giving anything away.
Speaker 1: She finds a note in a drawer like she's going
Speaker 1: through like old financial stuff in a drawer, and she
Speaker 1: finds a note that says, um to be opened in
Speaker 1: the event of my death to my to my wife Cecilia,
Speaker 1: and he's not Dad, but she really wants to read
Speaker 1: that course because when she mentioned it to him, he
Speaker 1: kind of freaks out. So it's good. It's really cheesy. Oh,
Speaker 1: here we go. So everyone, Dr Nancy's in studio with us.
Speaker 1: Great to have you, doctor. Do you want us to
Speaker 1: call you Dr Nancy the time? Okay? Dr Nancy? Um. So,
Speaker 1: for those that are unfamiliar, Dr Nancy is a clinical psychologist, hypnotist, speaker,
Speaker 1: and author. But if you want to, can you just
Speaker 1: tell us a little bit more about yourself in your
Speaker 1: own words if you don't want absolutely. I'm originally from Atlanta,
Speaker 1: if you can probably tell. And I moved out to Hollywood.
Speaker 1: I was an entertainment for a while. I moved out
Speaker 1: here because I heard Hollywood needed more blonds. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: have a little career change it. I fell in love
Speaker 1: with my volunteer work, which was working with sexually abused kids,
Speaker 1: and I just got fascinated, if you will, with trauma,
Speaker 1: and I was able to see there was just something
Speaker 1: more for me to do besides being entertainment. So well
Speaker 1: here I am love it. And so how long ago
Speaker 1: was that when you move to tell oh gosh ninety
Speaker 1: four after the earth point? Okay, do you miss it? Good?
Speaker 1: Do I miss entertaining? Miss? Yes? Yes? And so and
Speaker 1: so now you you've been on a lot of TV
Speaker 1: shows in terms of your your hypnotists. I guess therapy.
Speaker 1: I called it hypnotherapy. Is that appropriator in psychology? Issue? Okay? Um?
Speaker 1: And so is that what you specialize in? Do you
Speaker 1: have like your own practice or is it more so
Speaker 1: um like traveling around and I guess just helping people
Speaker 1: fix their problems? Right? I do it all, baby, have
Speaker 1: a private practice in price delay, but also work at
Speaker 1: Season's Recovery Center in Malibu treating addictions and the trauma
Speaker 1: behind that. Yeah. Um, well, obviously we would love if
Speaker 1: you could try to hypnotize me. So let's let's talk
Speaker 1: about my problems for a little bit. And where do
Speaker 1: we start? Because I have a lot let's talk about
Speaker 1: let's talk about them. Um. Obviously the podcast is called
Speaker 1: help I Suck at Dating? And it it originated from
Speaker 1: my inability to uh be good at dating. Let just
Speaker 1: plain and simple. But I think what I'd really like
Speaker 1: to work on. I think something that um, I always
Speaker 1: struggle with personally is I've yet to really find like
Speaker 1: a direction that I want to pursue like wholeheartedly in
Speaker 1: my life, like professionally. Um, it could be honestly anything,
Speaker 1: just something that will, I guess, kind of give me
Speaker 1: more uh sustained purpose, you know, because not I don't
Speaker 1: necessarily feel like I have that, but I feel like
Speaker 1: I should be doing something more. So this hasn't that
Speaker 1: thing to do with dating today. It might come back
Speaker 1: to that. I don't know it possibly could, but like
Speaker 1: I feel like if I were to fix this issue
Speaker 1: of like of really understanding what I want to do
Speaker 1: with my life, then that will make dating fall in line,
Speaker 1: and like it'll kind of make things more clear for me.
Speaker 1: Usually our issues are all intertwined, so those while they
Speaker 1: appear like daverse issues, they really go together. Because the
Speaker 1: more you know yourself and what you're committed to your
Speaker 1: mission in life, if you will, the more fit and
Speaker 1: ready you will be for the appropriate part. And so
Speaker 1: that's what I'm hopeful for. Have you ever done anything
Speaker 1: like this for I've never been hypnotized before. Have you've
Speaker 1: gone to therapy? I don't talk to anybody before I have,
Speaker 1: so I after I broke up with Leslie, I started
Speaker 1: going to therapy. So I've been going for the past
Speaker 1: three or four months. And I know you're a big
Speaker 1: advocate for it. Peter's a big therapy Vanessa to music
Speaker 1: to my ears. Yeah. I think at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, obviously, all we can really hope to is
Speaker 1: just be better people. And so I feel, you know,
Speaker 1: whatever means necessary? Um, And so what do you think
Speaker 1: I mean in terms of what I plan to accomplish.
Speaker 1: You think it's a good place to start. I think
Speaker 1: it's an excellent place to do. Yeah. Um. And and
Speaker 1: here's what I want to point out, not that I
Speaker 1: want you to change the name of your show. I
Speaker 1: suck at dating, But here's the deal about hypnosis. Um,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of old wives tales about it, how
Speaker 1: it does and doesn't work. So I want to bust
Speaker 1: up some of those old wives and explain, really, all
Speaker 1: hypnosis is self hypnosis. This only works because you want
Speaker 1: it to. So it's all, um, self fulfilling prophecies. So
Speaker 1: I look at the languaging behind anyone's thoughts and their behavior,
Speaker 1: because all human behavior comes from the unconscious, and that's
Speaker 1: driven by our deep sea of beliefs, Well, what are
Speaker 1: beliefs their words strung together if you will, that have
Speaker 1: certain images that drive our behavior. So when you are
Speaker 1: plugged into a suck at dating, that's sort of a
Speaker 1: belief of yours, not to criticize you, just to point out,
Speaker 1: then you're gonna keep sucking at dat, right, It's like
Speaker 1: a selfl phone prophecy is absolutely so you might want
Speaker 1: to say, um, you know, my history has been poor
Speaker 1: with dating. Not that would be an attractive name of
Speaker 1: a show, but if you really want to change that
Speaker 1: behavior and say I'm learning how to relate better, I'm
Speaker 1: improving and attaching to women. Well, there was a very
Speaker 1: extended period of time where I was laughing very hard
Speaker 1: for a name change of the podcast Glory Days. But
Speaker 1: that was a good one. You just mentioned maybe that's it.
Speaker 1: But yeah, but then it kind of came to me.
Speaker 1: I was like, all right, finally I'll bear this burden
Speaker 1: of sorts and like use it that Like I don't know,
Speaker 1: it was more so just like it's kind of a
Speaker 1: satirical title as the way I look at it, I understand.
Speaker 1: But here's the deal. The subconscious does not understand sarcasm. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's very confusing because words, I say, words really don't exist.
Speaker 1: A language is a social construct. Human who made up languages,
Speaker 1: human beings, millions of them since Arcaveman ancestor, And every
Speaker 1: word in every language represents some sort of picture. So
Speaker 1: when you're telling a child, for example, Bobby, don't slam
Speaker 1: the door, what's Bobby probably gonna do the door exactly?
Speaker 1: What smart parents do is say, Bobby, I need you
Speaker 1: to close the door gently. A whole different picture. This
Speaker 1: is occurring to the tune of about a hundred thousand
Speaker 1: thoughts a day and at night because when dreaming, we
Speaker 1: still have the images flowing. So we're all self hypnotists.
Speaker 1: So if you keep focusing on what you don't want,
Speaker 1: you're gonna get it right. Flip right. Yeah. I work
Speaker 1: a lot of professional athletes. How would it be. I'm
Speaker 1: not working with any of the Dodgers, I'm sorry to say,
Speaker 1: but if they were standing there at home plate and
Speaker 1: they said, oh my god, don't choke, don't strike out,
Speaker 1: those are heavily charged words, and they underperform. So what
Speaker 1: smart coaches do, especially the ones who listen to me,
Speaker 1: they speak hypnotically and they say smack that ball to
Speaker 1: the next county, holds your every enforcement exactly exactly. This
Speaker 1: is beyond Pollyanna just positive thinking. If you want to
Speaker 1: get scientific, it sets up mirror neurons in the brain,
Speaker 1: and so when you get to the home plate, your
Speaker 1: brain thinks you it's already done what you've already rehearsed.
Speaker 1: So for you to keep saying, I'm attracting the ideal mate,
Speaker 1: I'm working on myself to be more ready for her.
Speaker 1: Say things like that, and you'd be shocked in amaze
Speaker 1: what begins to come into your life. I've always been
Speaker 1: a big advocate of self deprecation too, and I can
Speaker 1: understand that maybe the when it gets uncomfortable. Yeah, look,
Speaker 1: I was a comedian for years. I made my living
Speaker 1: up being separate, self deprecating, so I know all about it,
Speaker 1: and it wasn't real healthy for me. So I understand
Speaker 1: that it's funny if you can keep that compartmentalized and
Speaker 1: sort of unplugged from that when you're a human being
Speaker 1: Dean and you know, without the microphone, without the cameras
Speaker 1: in your own life, right, I don't know, it's just
Speaker 1: it's funny because Peter and I we even went out
Speaker 1: there last night and like some girl came up to
Speaker 1: us and it was like to me, it was like,
Speaker 1: you're the most attractive person everything in my entire life,
Speaker 1: and I was have you seen the man sitting next
Speaker 1: to me? Excuse me, but you did say that you're
Speaker 1: bad at receiving compliments. Yes, but I'll say, well, I
Speaker 1: think that the ability to take a compliment with some
Speaker 1: humility has kind of become a lost start. So it's
Speaker 1: kind of like, well, what do you say to something
Speaker 1: that it's a complete stranger? And then thank you? I've
Speaker 1: learned we did, but then she stayed. They stay for
Speaker 1: a while. It's kind of uncomfortable. You just say thank you.
Speaker 1: That's very lovely of you to say that. Okay, it's
Speaker 1: at and you're so hot. Thanks you too. Alright, let's
Speaker 1: let's get let's get to the hypnosis. See what happens absolutely, Okay,
Speaker 1: how do we do this? Okay, statistically, So here's the deal.
Speaker 1: I don't people think that they go into some alternate
Speaker 1: universe or I'm going to turn you into a robot
Speaker 1: or put you in a coma. I don't want you
Speaker 1: to be disappointed because you probably will hear everything I say,
Speaker 1: especially now in the studio, so you're in between being
Speaker 1: fully awakened fully asleep, You're gonna feel like you do
Speaker 1: when you're being massaged or having acupuncture or meditating praying.
Speaker 1: It's a powerful state. They're in your brain waves slow down,
Speaker 1: big fat, wide waves that are highly receptive to the
Speaker 1: new programming. So you don't have to listen to me.
Speaker 1: You can, but you don't have to because you can't
Speaker 1: do this wrong. Allre you gonna do is leave your
Speaker 1: eyes closed. Okay, And if I may, I feel like
Speaker 1: maybe people shouldn't listen to this while driving. I don't
Speaker 1: want anybody to doze off or anything. I think it's
Speaker 1: very helpful for people and it could be great. But
Speaker 1: if you're driving, maybe skip past this next part. Okay,
Speaker 1: go ahead, doctor, and here we go. And now, as
Speaker 1: you are lying here with your eyes clawed and your
Speaker 1: arms and legs uncrossed receptive, just draw in a deep,
Speaker 1: cleansing breath, breathing in through your nose, all of that
Speaker 1: incredible power of your unconscious mind that is healing you,
Speaker 1: shifting you, releasing on your exhale through your open lips.
Speaker 1: Any lingering, doubt, any self criticism, let all of that
Speaker 1: stuff go, drawing in another deep cleansing breath, breathing in
Speaker 1: clarity and an image of exactly what you wish to attract,
Speaker 1: releasing again on your exhale, any lingering, Yeah, but or
Speaker 1: what if? Voices let all of that stuff go? That
Speaker 1: is all a thing of your past. Powerless over you. Now,
Speaker 1: as you resume breathing normally, you find yourself going d
Speaker 1: from far four three two one zero deep sleep. Every
Speaker 1: time you hear me say deep sleep, with your permission
Speaker 1: for the purpose of hypnosis, you go quickly. You go
Speaker 1: easily to this depth or deeper, where your physical body
Speaker 1: is relaxed and your mind is open and allowing these
Speaker 1: suggestions to calm you, to ground you, to begin to
Speaker 1: open you up to new possibility. Whether you believe this
Speaker 1: right now or not. And now I ask you, still,
Speaker 1: with your eyes clowsed, to draw your awareness to your feet.
Speaker 1: They may begin to feel very heavy, pulling your legs
Speaker 1: deep or down with a wonderful, heavy sense of relaxation.
Speaker 1: Picture this a beautiful, soothing color, or you may perceive
Speaker 1: it as a warmth or a coolness, or some other
Speaker 1: sensation entirely, even a sound or a word, but allow
Speaker 1: it to begin to move up through your feet and ankles,
Speaker 1: and as it moves on up into your legs and knees,
Speaker 1: it deeply penetrates every bone, muscle, nerve, ending all the
Speaker 1: way down to the cellular level, flushing out any possible
Speaker 1: lingering doubt in the old need to self deprecate and
Speaker 1: fills up each and every cund with that amazing ability
Speaker 1: to focus on what you do want to have and
Speaker 1: be and attract and exude. And I have no idea
Speaker 1: how quickly this will become mere chosen mindset, whether it'll
Speaker 1: click into place right away today or if it will
Speaker 1: take three days, But I do not will click into
Speaker 1: place ad just the right time for you to begin
Speaker 1: to trust it and manage it as your way of
Speaker 1: being feeling moving forward And now feel this heavy energy
Speaker 1: flow up and deer torso paint on an extra coat
Speaker 1: all around your heart area, allowing that to open up
Speaker 1: first of all timore, self law, self forgiveness, and others love.
Speaker 1: As you begin moving forward toward healthier people, being healthier yourself,
Speaker 1: trusting you have everything you need to make favorable changes
Speaker 1: in your life. You have real power, tools, intelligence, an
Speaker 1: enormous heart, a warm, engaging personality. You have health, a
Speaker 1: support system, a sense of humor, creativity, and more, all
Speaker 1: the ingredients necessary to move forward being more who you
Speaker 1: choose to be. And now feel this flaw up into
Speaker 1: your shoulders and down your back muscles, down your arms,
Speaker 1: all the way to your finger tips, where you may
Speaker 1: feel a slight tingling sensation. The rest of your body
Speaker 1: feels heavy and relaxed, yet your hands and fingers feel
Speaker 1: light and tingly with excitement. Knowing from now on every morning,
Speaker 1: when those hands fling the bed covers off of you,
Speaker 1: it since a whole queue of energy through your body
Speaker 1: to others, continuously looping through yourself, that you're learning more
Speaker 1: who you are, the kind of man you wish to be,
Speaker 1: the kind of people you wish to attract, the kind
Speaker 1: of adventures and goals you wish to attain. And now
Speaker 1: feel this heavy energy flow up over the back of
Speaker 1: your head and up over the top, slowly penetrating your scowl,
Speaker 1: your cranium, all the way to the base of your
Speaker 1: subconscious mind, where it fertilizes that rich soil, so these
Speaker 1: seeds of suggestions begin to grow abundantly. Is your desired
Speaker 1: way of being as you begin to trust that you
Speaker 1: have everything you need to forge a new life. And
Speaker 1: now feel this heavy energy flow down your face, relaxing
Speaker 1: all of those muscles in your forehead, your eyebrows or eyelives,
Speaker 1: and now pain on an extra coat through all of
Speaker 1: those muscles in your cheeks, mouth, lips, and tongue, so
Speaker 1: that from now on, all of those muscles work together
Speaker 1: to only voice words of positivity, of support, of encouragement,
Speaker 1: always focusing on what you do want to attract and
Speaker 1: have and be healthy, beauty, adventure, fun and more. As
Speaker 1: that very quickly becomes yours. Where do you believe it?
Speaker 1: Right now? We're not breath this deep down. Now, in
Speaker 1: a moment, I'll count you up so that at the
Speaker 1: count of five, you'll be wide awake, alert, refreshed, feeling
Speaker 1: so hopeful, so trusting. Things are opening up for you now.
Speaker 1: And now you're coming up to one. Two, you're more
Speaker 1: aware of the room around you. Three These words an
Speaker 1: image just stay with you, keeping you growing and trusting
Speaker 1: even at those times you think you can't be. And
Speaker 1: now coming up to four and five, one, two, three, four, five, Uh,
Speaker 1: it's open? What awake, Dean? How you doing? How was
Speaker 1: the experience for you, Share what you felt or any
Speaker 1: physical symptoms or thoughts. I'm very relaxed, and that's the
Speaker 1: first step. I feel good. It was very much like
Speaker 1: a massage. It's like very quiet, very calm. I feel
Speaker 1: like going deep into a sleep. Yeah, I feel like
Speaker 1: I was at a meditation. There you go. Did I
Speaker 1: do anything crazy today? Yeah? You pulled your pants down. Yes, No,
Speaker 1: I do feel really relaxed. I feel like, especially with
Speaker 1: the breathing and uh this, the tone of your voice
Speaker 1: is very relaxing. I've done this before. I can tell
Speaker 1: you feel like you were asleep, like you're just waking
Speaker 1: it up. I feel like as dr Nancy put it,
Speaker 1: like I was getting a massage or all right, I
Speaker 1: don't think I ever fell asleep. Okay, good. Did you
Speaker 1: feel like you were sort of zoning out? Well? I
Speaker 1: would notice my mind wandering into places where I was like,
Speaker 1: why am I thinking about this stuff? Like stuff that
Speaker 1: wasn't necessarily what I wanted to be thinking about. That's good.
Speaker 1: That proves you were in trance because other stuff comes up.
Speaker 1: And I told you, remember you don't have to listen
Speaker 1: to me. We want your mind to drift off because
Speaker 1: there's nothing random in the unconscious. Whatever is coming up
Speaker 1: is something you're identifying with and isn't is something to
Speaker 1: explore going forward. I don't know if you want to
Speaker 1: share anything came up? What was something you thought about?
Speaker 1: It was mostly like dating stuff. But that's what you're
Speaker 1: talking about right before you went into I suppose that
Speaker 1: makes sense, I guess, And that's an important goal right now. Yeah,
Speaker 1: can you say more about was popping up for you? Um? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess. I mean, sure, we'll talk about it. I
Speaker 1: so a girl that I used to date, I was
Speaker 1: heard of rumors of her dating someone else, and I
Speaker 1: was like thinking about that for a little bit. Um,
Speaker 1: I was thinking about I'm going on a date on Thursday.
Speaker 1: I was thinking about that for a little bit. And
Speaker 1: I don't know, wait, hold on a date on Thursday.
Speaker 1: I'm going on a date on Thursday. Yeah, but I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna say anything more beyond that. Is the girl
Speaker 1: from last night? I thought you're the most beautiful humor.
Speaker 1: That's all I needed to do. So how is this
Speaker 1: supposed to happen now? Dr? Like, how is he supposed
Speaker 1: to manifest his goals from that? So do you feel
Speaker 1: like he'll have more clarity of thought now, Yes, and
Speaker 1: here it's different for everyone. Um, when you were thinking
Speaker 1: about the girl you used to day said, she came
Speaker 1: to your consciousness. This does not necessarily mean you want
Speaker 1: to get back with her, don't. Okay, but perhaps there
Speaker 1: were some traits of hers that do appeal to you,
Speaker 1: or perhaps there's some traits of hers that you want
Speaker 1: to void as you're shopping for other women. Okay, that's
Speaker 1: valuable information. So you're unconscious is already delivering up to
Speaker 1: you something that you need to know as you move forward.
Speaker 1: I do agree. We learned just as much from the
Speaker 1: things that we don't like that we do from the
Speaker 1: things that you like. Right, it's increasing. That's when we
Speaker 1: were talking earlier about like there's one person or multiple people,
Speaker 1: whatever it is. I think as time goes on, you
Speaker 1: really feel more what that person should be based on
Speaker 1: things that you've learned from others. Agreed exactly. So, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you may have awesome images come up in your dreams tonight.
Speaker 1: It maybe ah ha moments over the next few days.
Speaker 1: There's really no time for it. It It is different in
Speaker 1: here when there's fifteen people watching you, when the lights
Speaker 1: are on so I wanted to talking on his keyboard
Speaker 1: over there. Sorry, Well, you know these are sounds of
Speaker 1: life that are always around us, even when we are
Speaker 1: doing formal hypnosis. UM, so we expect that and we
Speaker 1: go with that. But still the fact you did let
Speaker 1: go and your mom was zoning out this shows as
Speaker 1: you use this, you're very suggestible. Well. I do have
Speaker 1: very vivid dreams too, so I'm curious to see what
Speaker 1: I dream of tonight. But email me and let me
Speaker 1: report back and I'll analyze it for you. I feel
Speaker 1: like it's import I feel like this is one of
Speaker 1: those things to where it's like the more you do it,
Speaker 1: the more open to it you become, right, and the
Speaker 1: more you let go and the more information access. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: it's very difficult to and I'm sure you can test
Speaker 1: this get a lot from just one session, right, I
Speaker 1: feel like the more sessions, especially under these circumstances no offense,
Speaker 1: but usually people are not being watched, there's always some
Speaker 1: need to perform. But still you let go. I mean,
Speaker 1: you have the hallmark physical cues of being a hypnotic
Speaker 1: trance or olives were fluttering and I noticed that too.
Speaker 1: I noticed your eyelids that was interesting to me. Interesting,
Speaker 1: that's the hallmark trade. Someone's going into hypnotic trance. Good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you let go. Maybe we could have a privacy
Speaker 1: one of these days and you can go full on
Speaker 1: you got it, you got it? Um? Okay. Well, Dr Nancy,
Speaker 1: that was a great experience. Do you have any parting
Speaker 1: words maybe before our listeners that might be struggling with
Speaker 1: something that they can I'm curious to think, like, is
Speaker 1: there anything that they can do on their own to
Speaker 1: help them. I guess, as Mark said, like man of fest,
Speaker 1: these things that they're working on, are working towards are
Speaker 1: interested in that kind of stuff. Absolutely, they can re
Speaker 1: listen to this and be very mindful of the language
Speaker 1: they use. Now, we're never going to get rid of
Speaker 1: all our negative, anxious thoughts because we're human beings, were
Speaker 1: not robots. However, if you manage it and flip it
Speaker 1: around to what you do want, never mention what you
Speaker 1: don't want, then you're much your chances are much greater
Speaker 1: moving towards what you want, focusing on don't smoke, focus
Speaker 1: on being smoked, free, clean and healthy. Huge difference in
Speaker 1: the unconscious That analogy you use up saying don't slam
Speaker 1: the door rather than close the door gently. I think
Speaker 1: that's resonated with me quite a bit. It's huge. And
Speaker 1: this is going on again a hundred thousand thoughts today.
Speaker 1: That's a lot of moving images. Dr. I like when
Speaker 1: you said every trust that you have everything you need
Speaker 1: to make favorable decisions. And I think that's important too,
Speaker 1: because sometimes when we're you know, having to decide between
Speaker 1: two different things, we're I'm sometimes looking at like, oh
Speaker 1: if I if I picked this decision, then am I
Speaker 1: going to be left with like some negative consequences from it.
Speaker 1: So I want to be able to trust that I'm
Speaker 1: making the right decision moving forward. Absolutely well, you do
Speaker 1: want to be aware of negative consequences. But when you
Speaker 1: pause and and ferret it all out and make the
Speaker 1: best judgment, then you choose the result of the action
Speaker 1: that's going to give you more positive consequences. Of course.
Speaker 1: Dr Nancy Irwin dot com. Dr Nancy Irwin dot com,
Speaker 1: and you I understand your daughter. I'm sorry an author too, right,
Speaker 1: what was the book that you wrote? We don't have
Speaker 1: it right here. One about making changes in midlife is
Speaker 1: called you turn changing direction in midlife, and that's a
Speaker 1: visual it's why oh you, because you make the change,
Speaker 1: you turn, changing direction in midlife. Love it. So check
Speaker 1: out you turn. Check out Dr Nancy Irwin dot com. Um,
Speaker 1: I'm going to reach out to you and maybe you
Speaker 1: have some more future conversations with you as well. That's
Speaker 1: okay with you? Awesome, Well, thank you for coming in today.
Speaker 1: Thank you. It's a great experience. Yeah, I loved it too.
Speaker 1: This seems like a great time to talk about talk Space.
Speaker 1: Talk Space is actually pretty cool, though I don't know
Speaker 1: if you guys are familiar with it. It's an online
Speaker 1: therapy company that lets you message a licensed therapist from
Speaker 1: anywhere at any time. All you need to computer with
Speaker 1: an Internet connection or the talk Space mobile app. That
Speaker 1: means you can improve your mental health even if you've
Speaker 1: had trouble making time for it in the past. I
Speaker 1: think that's one of the biggest things too, is people
Speaker 1: just don't have the time to make for it, like me,
Speaker 1: for instance, Like I said, I've been going to therapy
Speaker 1: for the past three year, four months, and while I
Speaker 1: was traveling obviously didn't have direct access to be physically
Speaker 1: in the same room as my therapist, and so what
Speaker 1: I use was talk Space And that's the thing too.
Speaker 1: It's it's basically, no matter where you are, no matter
Speaker 1: what time of day it is, you have access to
Speaker 1: a licensed therapist that can help you talk through UM,
Speaker 1: whatever it is that you're you're working through yourself. Because remember,
Speaker 1: therapy isn't just about venting your innermost thoughts are digging
Speaker 1: into childho memories. It's also about practical everyday strategies for
Speaker 1: stress management, living a happier life. UM. Having a therapist
Speaker 1: simply provides you a designated person for you to talk
Speaker 1: to who's trained to listen and help make positive changes.
Speaker 1: This is great whe everything's un demand nowadays, it's a
Speaker 1: brilliant idea. Now it's therapy on demand, wherever you are,
Speaker 1: you can get the help you need. And I feel
Speaker 1: like therapy for some reason got about RAPP for a while,
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Speaker 1: is great and talk Space platform has over two thousand
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Speaker 1: had the time to commit to it, talk space is
Speaker 1: a perfect, perfect option for you. Again, go to talk
Speaker 1: space dot com slash d e A N and put
Speaker 1: in the code Dean. So two separate deans you need there.
Speaker 1: Put in the code slash dean and then you put
Speaker 1: in Dean in the code box. You have four dollars
Speaker 1: off your first month. Like I said, everyone benefits from
Speaker 1: Peter's an advocate for it. Vanessa of course is, and myself.
Speaker 1: Um yeah, so check it out. Uh, Dean, I feel
Speaker 1: like you're still as skeptical as you were before she
Speaker 1: came in. I don't think that I was hypnotized your
Speaker 1: eyelids because I was trying to keep them closed. You know,
Speaker 1: It's like when you I had some coffee this morning.
Speaker 1: I just didn't think that there's really ever a state
Speaker 1: of trance that I was put in. Granted it was
Speaker 1: a relaxing experience. I wasn't kidding about that. Like I've
Speaker 1: done the meditation thing where you're like focus on your
Speaker 1: toes and then move up to your kneecaps and now
Speaker 1: your hips and your chest like all kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: So I'm familiar with that, um and she did have
Speaker 1: a very soothing voice, like it put me in like
Speaker 1: a state of I guess deeper for sure. I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: the more you do it, the mort will actually probably
Speaker 1: come out. Absolutely. But I was like I was ready
Speaker 1: to like basically black out, wake up, and have you
Speaker 1: guys like all standing over me, like what's wrong with you?
Speaker 1: I was like, when is that going to happen? She
Speaker 1: literally said, that's not gonna happen. I was hopeful that
Speaker 1: it would, but it was still a great experience. And yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, like I said, I guess, really my mind
Speaker 1: just basically kept going to dating and like girls, which
Speaker 1: maybe is not greater significance in your mind than you thought.
Speaker 1: Well that's it. Maybe is, but like I don't want
Speaker 1: that to be a priority in my life. I want, like,
Speaker 1: to me to be living more purposefully to be my
Speaker 1: priority right now, you know. And I don't want that
Speaker 1: to come from dating girls. I wanted to for my
Speaker 1: own self and not from finding someone else. I wonder
Speaker 1: if listeners would would find it valuable what they do,
Speaker 1: like they could sit in a chair and relax and
Speaker 1: hear what she said and benefits I found about it.
Speaker 1: I feel I felt like I was like like you
Speaker 1: were saying in meditation, and she had all these like
Speaker 1: mantras of like self love and self forgiveness and positive encouragement,
Speaker 1: you know, like and all that stuff, And sometimes my
Speaker 1: brain does go towards like, oh, like I was explaining,
Speaker 1: if I make a decision, I'm thinking of like the
Speaker 1: negative things that may come from it. I want to
Speaker 1: think like positively. So then when I make that decision,
Speaker 1: positive things come from it. So I I found it,
Speaker 1: HI found helpful and so and so here's my challenge
Speaker 1: to you, as the listener, is to go back start
Speaker 1: directly when Dr Nancy sat me down to begin the hypnotherapy,
Speaker 1: and allow yourself to sit there through the same process
Speaker 1: as well, listening to what she's telling me to do
Speaker 1: and taking that upon yourself. Focus on your breathing, focus
Speaker 1: on moving through them from your feet to your head,
Speaker 1: and see if you get anything out of it. And
Speaker 1: if you do, email us and tell us what it was.
Speaker 1: I think that you could still be hip the Ties
Speaker 1: even through podcast, whatever it might be. I'm sure there
Speaker 1: was specific to you, right. She didn't even her name anymore,
Speaker 1: she didn't. She just said think positively, which is great.
Speaker 1: I think we could all benefit from that. So that's
Speaker 1: my challenge to you as a listener. Go back, um,
Speaker 1: sit through all of it, allow yourself to be open
Speaker 1: to the idea of it, and see if anything comes
Speaker 1: from it. I suck a dating and I heart media
Speaker 1: dot com yeah, and emails, and tell us what your
Speaker 1: experience is with it, because I think that all of
Speaker 1: us could stand to benefit from it, honestly. All Right,
Speaker 1: before we go, we have some other stuff we want
Speaker 1: to thank all of our sponsors. First of all, let's
Speaker 1: go back to the very beginning from Beach Body on Demand.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for giving getting us super fit
Speaker 1: text Dean, and thank you so much twenty three and
Speaker 1: me for telling us all where we come from and
Speaker 1: our UH sleep reports and all that kind of dot
Speaker 1: com slash Dean, big big thank you to Audible for
Speaker 1: allowing Mark and I to UH to share our experience
Speaker 1: of reading these fiction thriller books that we're reading Audible
Speaker 1: dot com slash Dean dating or text Dean dating to
Speaker 1: five hundred and of course, uh, big, big thank you
Speaker 1: to talk Space for allowing us to reap the benefits
Speaker 1: of therapy no matter where we are in the world. Yes, indeed,
Speaker 1: and that is talk space dot com. Flash Dean and
Speaker 1: use the cod d and to get forty five dollars
Speaker 1: off your first month perfect. And of course big thank
Speaker 1: you too, Peter for being in studio with us, for
Speaker 1: Vanessa being in studio in Montreal, Mark and Easton. Of
Speaker 1: course as always, um and if you're listening, I think
Speaker 1: that you saw me Ben and a few others post
Speaker 1: about this. If you want the chance to go to
Speaker 1: the I Heart Radio Music Festival in Las Vegas, you
Speaker 1: can see justin timber Lake, Carrie Underwood, Fleetwood Mac, meet
Speaker 1: one of the artists. Maybe not one of them, but
Speaker 1: there's gonna be tons of artists there, so you have
Speaker 1: a chance to meet one of them. You'll stay at
Speaker 1: Planning Hollywood Resort and Casino. While you're there, you play
Speaker 1: blackjack with Ben Ashley, Becca Wells, Blake, Jared myself included.
Speaker 1: Hopefully Peter and Tanya rat will be there as well.
Speaker 1: We're raising money for Ben's charity Humanity and Hope, the
Speaker 1: same organization that Leslie and I went to with Honduras
Speaker 1: back in March. You can buy a raffle ticket for
Speaker 1: just five dollars. Go to if only dot calm slash
Speaker 1: Bachelor buy a raffle. I think you can probably buy
Speaker 1: an unlimited number of raffle tickets and hopefully we'll see
Speaker 1: in Vegas. Last year was a blast. We were like
Speaker 1: backstage the entire time we met my met Miley Cyrus.
Speaker 1: Even though it's very quick, but it was still very cool.
Speaker 1: That was cool. Yeah, oh yeah, but I was there
Speaker 1: that one Peter at bb rexa they fell in love
Speaker 1: so nice. Um yeah me so yeah. Check it out
Speaker 1: if only dot com slash Bachelor of five dollar raffle tickets,
Speaker 1: hanging out with all of us in Vegas and obviously
Speaker 1: just gonna freach up to Vegas, so why not. And
Speaker 1: speaking of Ben Higgins, he has a new podcast that
Speaker 1: you should listen to. He does Lady Bosses. Ben Higgins
Speaker 1: new podcast, Lady Bosses in Ben is the official title
Speaker 1: of that. Very cool. Um, what's that about? But as
Speaker 1: the idea is, people, you have these great ideas for
Speaker 1: an app or a product and you don't know what
Speaker 1: to do with it. And I've had this problem. I
Speaker 1: was like, Oh, that's a genius idea. What do we
Speaker 1: do with that? Well, that's what this show is about,
Speaker 1: is talking to people who have turned those ideas into reality,
Speaker 1: specifically women who have been able to pull that off.
Speaker 1: And it's fascinating and empowering at the same time. With
Speaker 1: this woman Jessie Draper and Ben Higgins. That's an iHeart
Speaker 1: Radio or wherever you listen to podcast, love it um anyway,
Speaker 1: is that I'll do it for today's episode of Help
Speaker 1: I Suck a Dating. Big big thank you to Peter
Speaker 1: for being here. Thanks Peter, Thank you for having me
Speaker 1: always Blaser. I feel like it was kind of weird
Speaker 1: watching me get hypnotizes, but I do appreciate you just
Speaker 1: being in the in the room with us while that
Speaker 1: all happened. I was I was hoping for a little
Speaker 1: more with that one, but I think we all hope
Speaker 1: we were a little bit. But that's okay. Big big
Speaker 1: thank you to Vanessa. You were in studio today. You
Speaker 1: sounded fantastic. I'm watching you on the big screen and
Speaker 1: now you look even better. You're not in front of
Speaker 1: a Mike. You're not. You can't face timeless. You have
Speaker 1: to talk through the Mike. Okay um, and always, as always,
Speaker 1: big thank you to Mark and Easton for just being
Speaker 1: the voice of reason and a regularly unreasonable voice amongst
Speaker 1: all of us. So um. Anyways, that'll do it for
Speaker 1: this week's episode of Help I Suck at Dating. I'm
Speaker 1: Dean Unglert and maybe next week I'll suck a little
Speaker 1: bit less with all of you guys. Follow help by
Speaker 1: Suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared on I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast