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Speaker 1: My girlfriend says, I need to get rid of my

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Speaker 1: dead wife's stuff or she's leaving. Should I stay or

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Speaker 1: should I go? This is ok op where we read

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Speaker 1: the craziest stories on Earth. I'm Sam and Sophia. Should

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Speaker 1: Ope stay or should OPE go?

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Speaker 2: I think Ope, should go.

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Speaker 3: There's only one way to find out. Spell that day. Okay,

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Speaker 3: So this comes from user.

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Speaker 1: I first got married at the age of eighteen to

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Speaker 1: my girlfriend i'd had since age fifteen.

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Speaker 3: Damn right.

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Speaker 1: We enjoyed six years of marriage together before she died

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Speaker 1: in a motorcycle accident. That sucks, leaving me broken and

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Speaker 1: severely depressed for years. A bit over one year ago,

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Speaker 1: four years after my wife's passing, I met my current

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Speaker 1: girlfriend at a work event and we really hit it off.

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Speaker 3: I decided that it was time.

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Speaker 1: For me to start looking for a serious partner again,

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Speaker 1: and that my wife would have wanted me to be happy,

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Speaker 1: which is probably true. My current girlfriend and I became

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Speaker 1: more serious over time, and we moved in together two

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Speaker 1: weeks ago. I've talked with her extensively about my deceased

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Speaker 1: wife and the mental health issues it brought to me,

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Speaker 1: and she has been doing nothing but being supportive.

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Speaker 3: And loving. So she's been doing something that's great. That's great.

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Speaker 3: So current girlfriend knows about dead White. Yes.

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Speaker 1: The problems began after we moved in together. I have

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Speaker 1: a small chest. Oh, she worked out do some Oh

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Speaker 1: I thought bench press like a small chest.

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Speaker 3: No, No, it is a small chest.

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Speaker 1: It is, and I used to keep under my bed,

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Speaker 1: and that has a few things that belonged to my

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Speaker 1: deceased wife.

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Speaker 3: Along the way to photos of the two of us.

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Speaker 1: During the moving process, my girlfriend noticed the chest and

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Speaker 1: asked about it, so I explained what it was and

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Speaker 1: showed her the contents. I didn't really expect it to

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Speaker 1: be a big deal, but since I showed her, things

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Speaker 1: have never been worse for us. She sat me down

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Speaker 1: that night and explained that because I still had the

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Speaker 1: chest and wanted to keep it, it was an indication

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Speaker 1: to her that I haven't moved on for my deceased wife,

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Speaker 1: and that she doesn't think she continued the relationship unless

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Speaker 1: I get rid of it.

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Speaker 2: That's crazy.

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Speaker 1: I was pretty shocked at this and told her that

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Speaker 1: I needed some time to think about it. Well, it's

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Speaker 1: been two weeks now and I still don't know what

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Speaker 1: to do. My current girlfri and I have no major

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Speaker 1: problems up until this point, and she's asking me daily

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Speaker 1: when I plan to get rid of it and says

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Speaker 1: she can't live in the same space as the chest.

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Speaker 3: Maybe get a storage unit or something.

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Speaker 1: I really don't want to get rid of it, but

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Speaker 1: I want to continue my relationship with her as well.

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Speaker 1: What can I say to get her to understand or

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Speaker 1: am I being crazy by keeping those things for years?

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Speaker 1: And we do have an update? But what do you think?

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Speaker 1: Do you think OP should keep the chest or get

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Speaker 1: rid of it? Do you think OP should leave the relationship?

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Speaker 4: Maybe too early to leave relationship, But I don't think

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Speaker 4: that OP should get rid of the chest because I

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Speaker 4: think if it was anyone else, like it would be

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Speaker 4: seen as unreasonable.

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Speaker 3: Letters from all my ex girls.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but like and they're not they're alive.

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Speaker 3: Is that a red flag?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 2: I think that's nice.

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Speaker 4: But also like that's like people that are alive too,

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Speaker 4: and so like this is a person that's passed away, I.

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Speaker 3: Would keep it.

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Speaker 4: They never broke up, They never broke up, Like this

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Speaker 4: is not a person like this is not an ex wife.

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Speaker 4: I think that's the story that you're thinking. This is

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Speaker 4: not an ex wife. This is someone who passed away

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Speaker 4: late late wife.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I think if he had like a chest full of

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Speaker 4: stuff from the brother or something or something like that.

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Speaker 3: You immediately went to the dead brothers.

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Speaker 2: I said, mother.

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Speaker 4: Okay, but I know I think that would be like

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Speaker 4: obviously unreasonable.

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Speaker 2: But just because it's a wife, it's like, oh, you're

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Speaker 2: not over.

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Speaker 1: I feel like it's like almost like she thinks she

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Speaker 1: has to compete with yeah, which is not the late wife,

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Speaker 1: which is not the case.

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Speaker 2: It's just memories.

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Speaker 3: It's just memories.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think to throw away those memories seems

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Speaker 1: a little bit weird and jealous.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: But there is an update, so let's get into it.

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Speaker 1: But before we do, I have another guest to invite

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Speaker 1: on the show. All right, So we're going into the update,

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Speaker 1: and for this update, we have special guests, Max Phil's

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Speaker 1: guys on Max Can I can I say? How we

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Speaker 1: know each other?

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Speaker 5: Okay?

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Speaker 1: So we used to carpool in high school and would

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Speaker 1: have carpool fight club.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, car club. We'd go to school together.

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Speaker 3: All right, So let's get into this update.

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Speaker 1: Some some content basically with this guy who had a

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Speaker 1: girlfriend married at eighteen, met each other at sixteen. Then

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Speaker 1: the girlfriend died at twenty six, and then he is

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Speaker 1: has a new girlfriend, and the new girlfriend just found

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Speaker 1: out that he had to box a chest.

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Speaker 3: Of his old girlfriend's memories and she's pissed.

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Speaker 4: Oh and she gave him an ultimatum saying, you have

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Speaker 4: to throw it out or I'm leaving.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so now we're caught up. Let's jump into it.

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Speaker 3: So wow.

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Speaker 1: I did not expect that amount of feedback at all

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Speaker 1: on the post. Sorry, I haven't responded to many comments.

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Speaker 1: It was a bit overwhelming to wake up to thousands

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Speaker 1: of them, but I wanted to provide some more information

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Speaker 1: and an update about how everything went down. People were

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Speaker 1: wondering how often I look at the chest and talk

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Speaker 1: about my late wife? How much is too much to

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Speaker 1: talk about your dead wife.

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Speaker 5: I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I think

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Speaker 5: the current girl.

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Speaker 1: So constantly, like all right, three days, three times a.

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Speaker 5: Day, that's way too much. At a certain point, you

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Speaker 5: do have to get over it. So how many Why

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Speaker 5: didn't she die?

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Speaker 3: She's twenty nine, so three years ago. They did it

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Speaker 3: for six years?

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Speaker 5: Damn, it's fresh. Oh man, I.

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Speaker 2: Think they were married for six years.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I married for six years, so I think, oh,

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Speaker 1: we got married for six years, they were together for

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Speaker 1: not yeah wow, yeah, I say, you get three times

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Speaker 1: a day to.

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Speaker 4: Think about It doesn't seem like he's mentioning, is what

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Speaker 4: his late wife that much?

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Speaker 2: It just just like she found out? Yeah, the box?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree. I agree.

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Speaker 2: It's even like less of an issue.

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Speaker 1: I think, yeah, it doesn't. That doesn't seem like the issue.

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Speaker 1: It's the box. I think if it's a box, it's fine.

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Speaker 3: The box is.

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Speaker 5: Totally fine, dude, I think, dude, that's crazy. Man. I

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Speaker 5: just don't even know what to do in that situation.

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Speaker 3: Break up.

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Speaker 1: Maybe all right, let's see now people are wondering how

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Speaker 1: often I look at the chest and talk about my

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Speaker 1: late wife. I spend prolonged time with the chest and

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Speaker 1: its contents, usually twice a year, on our anniversary date

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Speaker 1: and her death date.

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Speaker 2: That's so valid.

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Speaker 3: I think that's super super valid.

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Speaker 2: Two time year.

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Speaker 1: Come on, and he probably thinks about her like pretty consistently,

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Speaker 1: which is understandable too, But like two times a day

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Speaker 1: with the boxes like fine, yeah, well two times a year,

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Speaker 1: two times a year, sorry, two times a year, even

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Speaker 1: two times a day if it was morning.

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Speaker 4: It it is a day, I would be like, I

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Speaker 4: would think that's fine, that's like a meditation.

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Speaker 3: Would I be uncomfortable with that? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Would you be uncomfortable with your partner meditating with his

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Speaker 1: dead wife's box two times a day? Put your answers

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Speaker 1: in the comments, so I'd love to know. That's a

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Speaker 1: very specific question. So I'm not constantly opening it and

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Speaker 1: having it out around and stuff. I feel as though

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Speaker 1: I find the most comfort just knowing that it's nearby,

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Speaker 1: strangely enough, which is why I wanted to keep it

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Speaker 1: in the house. Most of the conversations about my previous

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Speaker 1: marriage have been prompted by my girlfriend and not me.

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Speaker 3: Which I think is good context.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, that's great.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I can talk about it pretty openly when asked

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Speaker 1: about my late wife, but I seldom bring her up

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Speaker 1: in my own conversation. She used to be all I

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Speaker 1: ever talked about, and it was annoying and uncomfortable to

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Speaker 1: people in my life. Looking back on a lot of

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Speaker 1: our conversations, my girlfriend would frequently ask questions, trying to

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Speaker 1: gauge if I was still mourning or if I was

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Speaker 1: happy again. Now with the chest incident, that makes sense

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Speaker 1: to me that it has been an unvoiced insecurity for

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Speaker 1: a while. At the time, I suppose I just thought

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Speaker 1: she was asking if I was suppressed ill, But I

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Speaker 1: see now she was trying to ask if I was

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Speaker 1: over my late wife.

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Speaker 2: I don't think you have.

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Speaker 4: To be over your late wife, though you get over it, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: I don't know if you can.

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Speaker 2: Get over like.

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Speaker 4: I just feel like that's like asking if you're like

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Speaker 4: if your mom passed away, and you're like, get over your.

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Speaker 3: Mom, but you don't have sex dreams about your mom.

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Speaker 4: Okay, well Sam, No, I mean like when you lose

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Speaker 4: someone that close to you, Thank you, Sam.

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Speaker 2: Trying to be sweet.

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Speaker 4: Sign sign, I was saying, when you lose someone that

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Speaker 4: close to you, I don't think it's about getting over

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Speaker 4: us being able to continue.

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Speaker 1: It's not the same grieving process as like breaking up

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Speaker 1: with a partner.

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Speaker 2: No, right, No, not at all.

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Speaker 1: If we were to put a formula to it, like

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Speaker 1: double the grieving, I don't.

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Speaker 2: Think I would give.

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Speaker 5: Did the new wife not know.

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Speaker 3: She knew because she's been asking him questions, but she

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Speaker 3: wants him to get over it.

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Speaker 5: That's crazy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 1: When my girlfriend asked me to get rid of the chest.

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Speaker 1: She did, in fact mean dispose of it.

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Speaker 4: That's so different than just like, yeah, get putting in

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Speaker 4: storage too.

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Speaker 1: I didn't go into great detail about the conversation we

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Speaker 1: had when she sat me down, but I proposed keeping

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Speaker 1: it more tucked away, not in our bedroom or at

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Speaker 1: another person's home, and she continued to say I was

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Speaker 1: still hanging on and not ready for a relationship in

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Speaker 1: her eyes, and keeping it somewhere else didn't change that.

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Speaker 1: I am definitely not getting rid of the chest, and

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Speaker 1: by that I mean disposing of it. It's been locked

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Speaker 1: in my car the past couple of days while I've

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Speaker 1: been dealing with this. I got some really good advice

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Speaker 1: from you guys and tried to have an open, honest

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Speaker 1: conversation with her today, asking her why the chest was

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Speaker 1: so significant as to give me an ultimatum and why

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Speaker 1: she felt like I had to get rid of it

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Speaker 1: to continue growing our relationship, which is all a great question.

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Speaker 1: I feel it's very pointed questions.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm glad they had a conversation.

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Speaker 1: She said, the entire relationship we've had, she's always felt

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Speaker 1: like she had to match up to the standards of

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Speaker 1: my late wife, or be even better so that I

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Speaker 1: would stay with her, and that me still having the

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Speaker 1: chest was confirmation that she will always be lesser than.

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Speaker 2: I don't think that.

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Speaker 4: I think people have this like kind of misunderstanding that

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Speaker 4: like you have, you can only have a little bit

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Speaker 4: of love and then it goes like abundance.

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Speaker 3: Oh that was cute. That was cute.

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Speaker 1: If I got rid of the chest, it would be

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Speaker 1: confirmation that I was ready to give my whole heart

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Speaker 1: to her.

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Speaker 3: This broke my heart.

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Speaker 5: Honestly, is disrespectful.

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Speaker 1: It's so disrespectful, and I couldn't believe she never told

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Speaker 1: me she was feeling this way and that I didn't

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Speaker 1: see it. It also made me feel confused because I've

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Speaker 1: been trying to show her the best I can, that

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Speaker 1: I can give my heart in other ways. Why do

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Speaker 1: I need to dump these precious memories to do that.

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Speaker 1: I told her that the relationship with my late wife

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Speaker 1: and my relationship with her are entirely independent of one another.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, different shoes.

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Speaker 2: He's saying it like the perfect.

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Speaker 3: I know, I know this man is like emotionally.

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Speaker 2: Mature, so emotionally mature, and that.

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Speaker 1: I was focused on building trust in love with her

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Speaker 1: not trying to replace my late wife or compare her

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Speaker 1: by any means. I told her that I couldn't dispose

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Speaker 1: of the chest because it meant a lot to me sentimentally,

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Speaker 1: but that I wasn't keeping it to hang on or

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Speaker 1: cling to my late wife. I just felt as though

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Speaker 1: it was an important part of my history and I

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Speaker 1: wanted to honor her memory.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like saying the right things.

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Speaker 1: So, Yeah, some of the trinkets in the chest were

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Speaker 1: from when we were sixteen years old, going to high

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Speaker 1: school dances and learning how to drive together.

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Speaker 3: I couldn't simply trash those.

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Speaker 4: I think, even if they were just exes and she

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Speaker 4: was still alive, those are cute things to keep.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Also, at the end of this story, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: show you my letterbox. I literally have like letters from

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Speaker 1: all my ex girlfriends in there.

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Speaker 5: Really what always wrote letters to each other?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: Oh, writing letters for your writing letters for your girl. No, dude,

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Speaker 5: she read letters. I'll letter, I'll write her a text.

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Speaker 2: Let's get let's give you a piece of paper.

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Speaker 3: At the end of the day, we're gonna have Max

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Speaker 3: write a letter. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I reassured her that I loved her for exactly who

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Speaker 1: she was not the position she held in my life,

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Speaker 1: or how similar she was to my late wife. I

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Speaker 1: told her that I could see us building a life

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Speaker 1: together and that I was focused on our future, not

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Speaker 1: my past. I told her that there was absolutely no

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Speaker 1: competition and that while I was hurt by the ultimatum,

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Speaker 1: I was ready to move past this and move the

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Speaker 1: chest to storage somewhere else. It wasn't enough for her.

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Speaker 5: Oh what do you think?

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Speaker 3: She said?

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Speaker 1: What do you think she's going to do? Prediction? I

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Speaker 1: so feel what's your conspiracy?

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Speaker 4: I think that she's going to be like, we have

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Speaker 4: to break up, you don't care about me or something silly.

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Speaker 5: She's gonna cave, she's gonna care, she has to it

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Speaker 5: so petty.

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Speaker 3: So you think she's going to keep sayam.

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Speaker 1: Fine, yeah, fine, yeah, fine, all right, conspiracy over, let's

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Speaker 1: see what really happened.

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Speaker 3: Back to reality. All it wasn't enough for her.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what else I needed to say or

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Speaker 1: do to communicate my love and dedication, but she was

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Speaker 1: dead set on me getting rid of the chest or

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Speaker 1: her leaving.

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Speaker 3: I told her a final time that there was not

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Speaker 3: an ounce of a chance I was getting rid of it.

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Speaker 1: Radio silence, and she gets a bag of her stuff,

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Speaker 1: hops in the car, and drives off.

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Speaker 4: No way, dude, that's a prophecy, ignoring me.

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Speaker 1: When I asked what was going on after calling her

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Speaker 1: multiple times for a few hours, I learned she's staying

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Speaker 1: with a friend who she called in the car. I guess,

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Speaker 1: so she originally just drove off, not knowing where she

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Speaker 1: was going and making arrangements to move out next week.

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Speaker 5: Wow.

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Speaker 1: I'm still in shock, but I mostly feel confused and hollow.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I truly wasn't ready for a relationship. Maybe she's

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Speaker 1: just crazy, maybe a bit of both. Do we think, op,

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Speaker 1: he made the right decision in staying firm. I want

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Speaker 1: to know what all of you thinks, so put your

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Speaker 1: answer to the comments. But Sophia, Max, what do you think?

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Speaker 3: Dude?

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Speaker 6: Good for him for, yeah, sticking to his guns and

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Speaker 6: like keeping the memories, because that's crazy on her part.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I think she's being petty for leaving.

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Speaker 3: That's nuts, kind of ridiculous, but like.

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Speaker 6: Also good riddance at that point, I think because she

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Speaker 6: was just going to be like insecure for the rest

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Speaker 6: of their relationship.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I think red flag for sure. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: way that red flag red flag for sure. I mean

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Speaker 1: if you're if you're asking someone to get rid of

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Speaker 1: their like a dead important person in their life's memories,

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Speaker 1: that is like a major red flag.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. I also don't think it would even if op

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Speaker 4: he did get rid of it, I think that would

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Speaker 4: hurt him more than help him get over through that.

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Speaker 3: I I think so too. I think those memories are

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Speaker 3: a way.

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Speaker 1: Of like connecting, yeah, and coping and moving through it.

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Speaker 1: But I would love to know what all of y'all think,

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Speaker 1: So put your answers in the comments. But do you

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Speaker 1: guys want to see my my letterbox?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I want to see your letter box. I want

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Speaker 5: to see how far back this goes.

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Speaker 6: He was. Oh yeah, he was always such a little

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Speaker 6: sentimental little baby.

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Speaker 2: Oh that's the letterbox mom made though.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so my mom made this with my sister and

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Speaker 1: I put all of my like, uh letters in here.

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Speaker 1: Do you want to choose one that is that is

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Speaker 1: like the piece of paper that with the beginning of

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Speaker 1: the first company I made, Finding Founders.

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Speaker 5: Oh that's pretty cool.

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Speaker 3: What else?

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Speaker 2: But that's not my origin story?

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Speaker 3: Who's this one? This is?

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Speaker 7: This is from Ariana the next girlfriend, A little letter way.

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Speaker 2: That's cute.

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Speaker 7: That's super cute.

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Speaker 5: That's so crazy. What year do you think this is?

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Speaker 8: Circa twenty I think this is twenty twenty two. Wow, recent, Yeah,

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Speaker 8: that's yeah. I don't think this isn't weird right?

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Speaker 6: No, no, no, it's not weird anymore. I thought it

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Speaker 6: was just like ex girlfriends.

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Speaker 4: Who is that not Sophia.

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Speaker 3: This is Sophie an exico.

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Speaker 5: That's hilarious, dude, yeh, she knows you so well.

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Speaker 1: I think I think like keeping memories is like it's

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Speaker 1: cool to look back on and see that people that

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Speaker 1: care about you, people that you cared about or still

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Speaker 1: do care about and hold a special place in your heart.

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Speaker 1: But Riley, should we get into another story rolled the

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Speaker 1: tape