1 00:00:01,440 --> 00:00:04,000 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need 2 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:09,240 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please 3 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:12,280 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey FM and click 4 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:15,200 Speaker 1: submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live 5 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:16,960 Speaker 1: on the air, just like we're going to read this 6 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:21,759 Speaker 1: one right here, right now. Buggle up, hold on tight. 7 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:24,439 Speaker 1: We got it for you. Here It is Drawberry Letter. 8 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 1: Thank you, nephew. Subject My man treats me like an afterthought. 9 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:32,600 Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley. I've been in a relationship for almost 10 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:35,480 Speaker 1: two years, and when I think about the things this 11 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:39,760 Speaker 1: man has shown me sexually and mentally, I am floored. 12 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:45,320 Speaker 1: He literally takes my breath away. But there are a 13 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:49,879 Speaker 1: few problems with our relationship. We've never spent a night together, 14 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:53,280 Speaker 1: and I've never met his family except for his twin 15 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:59,160 Speaker 1: daughters and their mother. What except for his twin daughters 16 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:01,920 Speaker 1: and their mother. It was a quick high and by 17 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:05,160 Speaker 1: when we ran into them at Target. We were not 18 00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:10,160 Speaker 1: together on our one year anniversary because of his job. 19 00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:14,400 Speaker 1: You got it now. I didn't see him on Valentine's 20 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:17,319 Speaker 1: Day because he had his daughters that night. I saw 21 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:20,840 Speaker 1: him the next day and he gave me flowers. His 22 00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:23,600 Speaker 1: birthday is three days before Christmas, but I didn't see 23 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:26,880 Speaker 1: him until Christmas Eve because his grandparents were in town. 24 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:30,480 Speaker 1: There was nothing on Christmas Day, and he went to 25 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:34,280 Speaker 1: church for New Year's Eve without me. Then he came 26 00:01:34,319 --> 00:01:36,959 Speaker 1: over for a few hours on New Year's Day to 27 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:39,880 Speaker 1: make up for it. I don't discuss how I feel 28 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:42,840 Speaker 1: about things for fear of running him off, because he 29 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:46,120 Speaker 1: told me his ex girlfriend nagged him a lot. He 30 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:49,040 Speaker 1: is always busy if I asked to see him. If 31 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:50,840 Speaker 1: I asked to see him, but when he calls me, 32 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:54,560 Speaker 1: I will drop everything to be with him. I don't 33 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:56,520 Speaker 1: know why he's acting this way, and I pray it's 34 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:59,520 Speaker 1: not what my subconsciousness telling me it is. In his 35 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:03,520 Speaker 1: defense end, he does work extreme hours. He has his 36 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:06,440 Speaker 1: kids every other weekend, and he likes to chill with 37 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:09,480 Speaker 1: his boys to unwind. I offered to cook dinner at 38 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,560 Speaker 1: his house so we could have a heart to heart, 39 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:14,800 Speaker 1: and he said he still needs to buy furniture and 40 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 1: fix his place up before I can come over. I 41 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:19,760 Speaker 1: need him to make me a priority in his life. 42 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:22,520 Speaker 1: How can I get this through to him? Has our 43 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:26,920 Speaker 1: relationship run its course, He'll never make you a priority. 44 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:31,440 Speaker 1: He'll never do that because guess what, he already has 45 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:34,720 Speaker 1: a priority in his life. Okay, he has a priority. 46 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:37,240 Speaker 1: You should have titled and titled this letter for two 47 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:40,280 Speaker 1: years I've been in a relationship with a married man, 48 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,440 Speaker 1: because that's what it is. I mean, think about it. 49 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:47,200 Speaker 1: You never ever get holidays. You don't get Christmas. You 50 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:50,040 Speaker 1: don't even get his birthday, which is three days before Christmas. 51 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 1: You don't get New Year's Eve. You don't get New 52 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 1: Year's Day, well, you get a couple of hours when 53 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:58,680 Speaker 1: he decides to come over. You don't get Valentine's Day, 54 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,920 Speaker 1: that's the day for lovers. You don't get anything. And 55 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:04,720 Speaker 1: he played you so hard. He told you his ex 56 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:07,920 Speaker 1: girlfriend nagged a lot. So now you're scared, you said, 57 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,560 Speaker 1: you're scared of running him off. You're scared to tell 58 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:14,160 Speaker 1: him how you feel and what all of this means 59 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:16,720 Speaker 1: to you, and why doesn't he spend more time with you, 60 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:19,240 Speaker 1: and what's going on. You're scared to bring up how 61 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:23,320 Speaker 1: you feel he puts you off. He's always too busy 62 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:26,280 Speaker 1: for you. He's got the kids every other weekend, or 63 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:29,080 Speaker 1: he's going out with his boys. You can't even go 64 00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:32,040 Speaker 1: over his house because he doesn't have any furniture, really, 65 00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:35,880 Speaker 1: and you make excuses for him at every turn. You 66 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:38,920 Speaker 1: have to stop this talking about in his defense, he's 67 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:42,560 Speaker 1: very busy, Yeah, busy with his wife and family running 68 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:44,640 Speaker 1: away from you. You have to stop all of this. 69 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:47,360 Speaker 1: You got to stop seeing him. You have to stop 70 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:51,120 Speaker 1: answering his call, stop calling him, stop everything, all of 71 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:54,040 Speaker 1: the above, because you already know what's going on. You 72 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,280 Speaker 1: said it. You're subconscious. You don't want it to be 73 00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:59,200 Speaker 1: what you're subconscious is telling you that it is. Well, 74 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:03,160 Speaker 1: that's what it is. Listen to your self conscious, all right. Please, 75 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:06,120 Speaker 1: please don't be stupid on this. I mean, don't be 76 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:11,120 Speaker 1: just don't be. Get yourself together. Listen to your head 77 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:14,280 Speaker 1: and not your heart. In this situation, the man has 78 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:20,160 Speaker 1: a wife. Steve, I just wow, I know how long 79 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:24,200 Speaker 1: have we been doing these letters? Yeah? How obvious does 80 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,440 Speaker 1: it have to be? Yeah? How many times have we 81 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:32,240 Speaker 1: given advice on this subject? Right here? You say, my 82 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:35,960 Speaker 1: man treats me like an afterthought. That's cause that's what 83 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:39,920 Speaker 1: you are. See. You solved that the answer is in 84 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:44,880 Speaker 1: the letter. I've been in relationship for two years and 85 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,760 Speaker 1: now hear what you hear you, hear the glory of it. 86 00:04:46,839 --> 00:04:48,559 Speaker 1: When I think about the thing this man has shown 87 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:52,200 Speaker 1: me sexually and mentally, I'm floored. Why well, let's talk 88 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:54,320 Speaker 1: about what he didn't showed you. We don't know what 89 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:58,760 Speaker 1: he's doing sexually, but obviously you sprung. He literally takes 90 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:02,000 Speaker 1: my breath away. Now he go to letter. We've got 91 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:05,760 Speaker 1: some problems though I've never spent an we've never spent 92 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:09,480 Speaker 1: a night together, and I've never met his family. What 93 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:13,440 Speaker 1: two years and you ain't been over his house? And 94 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:15,600 Speaker 1: later on in the letters say because he ain't got 95 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:19,920 Speaker 1: no furniture? Who take two years to get a couch? 96 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:27,679 Speaker 1: A couch? Who have got this place? And in two 97 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:31,760 Speaker 1: years ain't got a couch, ain't got no damn bad 98 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:35,320 Speaker 1: ain't got a TV? Who been a day house for 99 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:39,159 Speaker 1: two years without no damn cable? And somewhere that sick? 100 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,719 Speaker 1: Where do he eat when he at home? What do 101 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,880 Speaker 1: you mean he don't have furniture? Listen to me, And 102 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:50,080 Speaker 1: I've never met his family except for his twin daughters 103 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:52,200 Speaker 1: and named mother. And it was a quick hind by 104 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:54,680 Speaker 1: we ran into them and talking that was an accident. 105 00:05:56,920 --> 00:06:00,080 Speaker 1: That was a damn accident. He damn show. Wasn't it 106 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:03,440 Speaker 1: for you to meet them in? But you did? We 107 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:06,520 Speaker 1: were not together on our one year anniversary. That's because 108 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:10,599 Speaker 1: y'all don't have anniversary. What did you What did you 109 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:16,559 Speaker 1: making up? Y'all don't have anniversary because of his job. 110 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:19,599 Speaker 1: I didn't see him on Valentine's Day. That because you 111 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:23,760 Speaker 1: ain't his Valentine. I'm gonna just give it to you 112 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:27,640 Speaker 1: because he had his daughters that night. Who'll spend Valentine's 113 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:31,800 Speaker 1: with the damn kids? Right, we're supposed to be having 114 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:35,040 Speaker 1: sex on Valentine's Day? What did your kids in here? Fault? 115 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:43,680 Speaker 1: Keep your asswa fing the dog crazy? I got the 116 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:46,400 Speaker 1: rest of it for you when I come back, Steve, 117 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:49,320 Speaker 1: I'm not even pulling no punches with this. Please don't. 118 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:52,320 Speaker 1: We'll have part two Steve's response coming up at twenty 119 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:58,120 Speaker 1: three minutes after the hour. You're listening, all right, Steve, 120 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,560 Speaker 1: come on, let's recap today's Strawberry letter. My man treats 121 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:05,640 Speaker 1: me like an afterthought. Well that's caused you are, and 122 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,320 Speaker 1: it's all in the damn letter. Other than when y'all 123 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:11,400 Speaker 1: having this crazy ass sex where you didn't learn so 124 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:16,440 Speaker 1: much you on the floe. So now he literally takes 125 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:19,480 Speaker 1: my breath away. But then we got some problems. She 126 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:24,000 Speaker 1: ain't never spend the night at the man's house two years? 127 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,760 Speaker 1: Why because he say he don't have no furniture yet. 128 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:35,960 Speaker 1: My question is, who ain't bought a couch in two years? 129 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:42,640 Speaker 1: I don't know where do he eat when he at home? 130 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,960 Speaker 1: He just standing in the middle of the floor with 131 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:52,760 Speaker 1: some containers. I've never met his family except for his 132 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,840 Speaker 1: twin daughters and their mother. And it was a real 133 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:58,120 Speaker 1: quick hid by we ran into them at Target. That 134 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:03,320 Speaker 1: was a damn accident. Oh yeah, we were not together 135 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 1: on our one year anniversary. That's because y'all don't have anniversaries. 136 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:10,800 Speaker 1: I'm just going over what I went over and then 137 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,320 Speaker 1: we'll get to the rest of it. Because of his job, 138 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:15,880 Speaker 1: I didn't see him on Valentine's Day. No, that ain't 139 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:17,520 Speaker 1: caused his job. It's because you didn't see him on 140 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:20,440 Speaker 1: Valentine's Day because you ain't as Valentine because he had 141 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:24,360 Speaker 1: his daughters that night. Who the hell spend Valentine Night 142 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:28,240 Speaker 1: with their kids, even if it's my week of custody. 143 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:32,160 Speaker 1: Somebody for the watch their ass or Valentine's Night because 144 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:36,160 Speaker 1: I got to go see somebody naked with a dipper 145 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:40,920 Speaker 1: on with a bowling arrow Cupid. I didn't played Cupid 146 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:43,480 Speaker 1: on Valentine's Day. I didn't jumped out the closet with 147 00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:50,880 Speaker 1: a dipper A long time ago. Y'all ain't know me. 148 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:54,120 Speaker 1: Then I was young. I had the body for that dipper. 149 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:00,800 Speaker 1: I saw him the next day and he gave me flowers. 150 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:03,160 Speaker 1: You know why you got flowers because he spent all 151 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,000 Speaker 1: the money on the press and the candy on the 152 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:11,079 Speaker 1: other girl. And anybody can give you flowers, that's just stop. 153 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:14,040 Speaker 1: They sell them on the corner. His birthday is three 154 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:17,680 Speaker 1: days before Christmas, but I didn't see him until Christmas 155 00:09:17,679 --> 00:09:22,120 Speaker 1: Eve because his grandparents was in time. Wow, who need 156 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:26,120 Speaker 1: four days with some old ass people that say marry Christmas? 157 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:32,000 Speaker 1: Who needs full damn days with some old people that 158 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:36,719 Speaker 1: say mary Christmas? Then there was nothing on Christmas Day 159 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,800 Speaker 1: as Joe. No, no, no no, that's where you're wrong. Oh, 160 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:46,280 Speaker 1: Christmas Day was popping. It was jis family woman. Christmas 161 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:50,280 Speaker 1: was lit. It just wasn't with you, because who can 162 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:53,840 Speaker 1: leave their house on Christmas Day? And why would he 163 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,000 Speaker 1: not come over to your house on Christmas Day? He 164 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:59,920 Speaker 1: got no damn furniture. He didn't even got a little nothing. 165 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:02,560 Speaker 1: Sit on and look at the damn lights on the tree. 166 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:06,520 Speaker 1: Everybody like putting the tree up, getting a cup of call, 167 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:09,640 Speaker 1: felt some hot chocolate, looking at the tree and they 168 00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:15,880 Speaker 1: dream and then having fun. That's the purpose of a tree. Christmas. Yeah, 169 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:18,000 Speaker 1: that was nothing on Christmas Day. And he went to 170 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:21,040 Speaker 1: church on New Year's Eve without me. That man was 171 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:24,680 Speaker 1: not in church on New Year's Eve. He was just 172 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:28,560 Speaker 1: without you. He told you he went to church on 173 00:10:28,679 --> 00:10:31,160 Speaker 1: New Year's Eve. His ass ain't go to church on 174 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:35,880 Speaker 1: New Year's Eve. Then he came over for a few 175 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:38,440 Speaker 1: hours on New Year's Day to make up for it. Oh. 176 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:40,520 Speaker 1: I bet that's when y'all was in the flow having 177 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:44,320 Speaker 1: some of that mind blowing sex. I don't discuss how 178 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:46,720 Speaker 1: I feel about things. For feel running him off because 179 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,960 Speaker 1: he told me his ex girlfriend nagged him a lot. 180 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:51,400 Speaker 1: You know why, because she was trying to figure out 181 00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:53,840 Speaker 1: how the hell you gonna come over because he had 182 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:56,679 Speaker 1: he ain't had no furniture in this apartment for about 183 00:10:56,720 --> 00:11:01,480 Speaker 1: eight years. She wearing his asked the death about coming over, 184 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:06,000 Speaker 1: and she had never spent the night over there. Okay, 185 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:09,480 Speaker 1: he's always busy if I ask to see him, but 186 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:12,880 Speaker 1: when he calls me, I drop everything. I don't know 187 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:18,480 Speaker 1: why he's acting this way. What you've been with him 188 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:19,959 Speaker 1: two years and you don't know why he acted in 189 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:22,640 Speaker 1: this way. He can't act no other way. He got 190 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:26,520 Speaker 1: a family. He got a family. He can't act no 191 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:30,240 Speaker 1: other way. I pray is not what my suspicion is 192 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:36,120 Speaker 1: telling me. It is stop praying for something God gives 193 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:40,960 Speaker 1: you to protect you. You have this thing called intuition. 194 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:44,640 Speaker 1: It's telling you. Now you want to call it yourself conscious. 195 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:47,320 Speaker 1: I'm prayers, not what my self conscious is telling me. 196 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:50,520 Speaker 1: It's your intuition and it is telling you that. And 197 00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:53,920 Speaker 1: God gives it to women to protect them. And all 198 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:57,160 Speaker 1: of women out there listening, No, every time they go 199 00:11:57,240 --> 00:12:01,319 Speaker 1: against what their intuition tells them, they pay for Every 200 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:05,480 Speaker 1: woman has done it. True. Now in his defense, he 201 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:09,200 Speaker 1: does work extreme hours. What is he a force fighter? 202 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:14,280 Speaker 1: Come on? What job he got where he work for 203 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:20,120 Speaker 1: stream hours? What is he in the UFC fighter? What 204 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:23,800 Speaker 1: is extreme hours? So he don't get no time? He 205 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:27,640 Speaker 1: working all these hours and still can't buy no damn 206 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:36,079 Speaker 1: couch and bed. But he worked extreme hours daint. He 207 00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:38,760 Speaker 1: has his kids every other weekend, and he likes to 208 00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:41,200 Speaker 1: cheer with his boys on wine. I like cheering with 209 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:45,240 Speaker 1: my boys online too, but I'd rather be somewhere having sex. 210 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,680 Speaker 1: What are you talking about? I want to cook dinner 211 00:12:48,679 --> 00:12:51,920 Speaker 1: at his house. He can't have you over there. Somebody 212 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:55,800 Speaker 1: over there already cooking and they're not gonna understand you 213 00:12:55,840 --> 00:13:00,080 Speaker 1: coming over because that's they kitchen, right all right. I 214 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:01,840 Speaker 1: need him to make me a proud in his life. 215 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:03,880 Speaker 1: He's not. How can I get through to him? You can't. 216 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:07,000 Speaker 1: Is our relationship run his course? You have no relationship. 217 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:10,240 Speaker 1: That's your strawberry lever all right? Thank you, Steve. Post 218 00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:13,040 Speaker 1: your comments on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM 219 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:15,760 Speaker 1: on Instagram and Facebook, and please don't forget to check 220 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:19,480 Speaker 1: out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You're listening to 221 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:21,280 Speaker 1: this Stave Harvey Morning Show