Speaker 1: Kai, mm hmm, what's up man?
Speaker 2: It's been a hell of a two weeks.
Speaker 3: Man?
Speaker 1: Uh in how how som so?
Speaker 2: One day? All right, I went to a funeral, which
Speaker 2: is a family member, and then I went to sleep
Speaker 2: after the funeral and woke up to some crazy news
Speaker 2: that my grandparents were murdered by a kid that they fostered.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, yeah, when was this.
Speaker 2: September?
Speaker 4: Tenth?
Speaker 1: OUs? This is like, yeah, they were murdered by a
Speaker 1: kid that they fostered. Yeah were you were you close
Speaker 1: with your grandparents?
Speaker 2: Very It just feel weird because like now my birthday
Speaker 2: is this Friday, right, and I can't go to their
Speaker 2: house because they're not going to be there.
Speaker 1: How how have you been processing this over the past month?
Speaker 3: Working?
Speaker 1: Okay? Has that? Has that helped at all?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: It really is smoking.
Speaker 1: Into working, smoking and working. What how old was this
Speaker 1: kid that they were fostering?
Speaker 2: His team and he's charged as as an adult for
Speaker 2: two counts of murder.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, have you been? Did you go down to
Speaker 1: the courthouse and are you going now?
Speaker 2: They took him to prison because his sister snitched on
Speaker 2: him after he murdered my grandparents because she knew what
Speaker 2: he was going to do because he told her.
Speaker 1: So. So his sister knew that he was going to
Speaker 1: do this, yes, but didn't but told after instead of before.
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: How Uh, this is a loaded question for sure, But
Speaker 1: I mean, well, well, first of all, you know, listen,
Speaker 1: I know we're in a public form. Is this just
Speaker 1: this subject as a whole? I know it's rather fresh.
Speaker 1: Is it just a thing that you feel comfortable talking
Speaker 1: about on a thing?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Okay? Cool? I mean how do you how do you
Speaker 1: feel about this situation as a whole? Like, I know
Speaker 1: that's a loaded questions, but what's what have you been
Speaker 1: kind of processing?
Speaker 2: Shocked and like angry? Mm hmm I feel robbed, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Mm hmmmm? Have you spoken to or had any contact
Speaker 1: with the uh the sister?
Speaker 2: No, I texted her because when I find her, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna be her ass. But yeah, I haven't found her.
Speaker 1: You're going you're going to try to find her?
Speaker 2: Yeah, when she turns eighteen. She's an I know she's
Speaker 2: in the foster system right now, but when I find her,
Speaker 2: I'm kicking her ass.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm. What about your family? How has your family
Speaker 1: been reacting?
Speaker 2: M they cry, but they don't as much as I
Speaker 2: did because I'm a sensitive person or whatever. But my
Speaker 2: dad was like, don't cry because they are in a
Speaker 2: better place and my grandma is not in pain anymore,
Speaker 2: so I should be happy she's gone instead of in pain.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Do you have any siblings?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: How have your siblings been reacting?
Speaker 2: My sister, she was sad like the funeral, of course,
Speaker 2: but they've been holding up. I'm gonna take my sister
Speaker 2: because our birthdays are the same. I'm gonna take her
Speaker 2: to go to the funeral. I'm at the funeral ship.
Speaker 2: The the graves like to go put some flowers on
Speaker 2: their graves.
Speaker 1: Tell I mean, tell me about the the funeral. What
Speaker 1: what was the air in the room. How were people
Speaker 1: feeling was it? Did did it feel healing to be
Speaker 1: with with people who were in your grandparents' lives? What
Speaker 1: was kind of the the the vibe there?
Speaker 2: It was like a full churchman like, it was packed
Speaker 2: to the ground. But none of them people really knew
Speaker 2: who I was, so it was basically like I was
Speaker 2: holding myself together.
Speaker 1: They didn't they didn't know who you were. They didn't
Speaker 1: know that you were their grandchild.
Speaker 2: Yes, m hm.
Speaker 1: Did you get to Did you get any kind of
Speaker 1: new perspectives on your grandparents by talking to other people
Speaker 1: that knew them?
Speaker 2: No, I was there to support, mostly supporting my little
Speaker 2: sister because she was really really close to my grandma.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm. Have you been in content? Do you do you?
Speaker 1: Your little sister doesn't live with you, does she? No? Okay?
Speaker 1: Have you been in a lot of contact with her
Speaker 1: since this all happens.
Speaker 2: Yeah, checking up on her. She really likes art and stuff.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to buy her some canvases and ship It's nice.
Speaker 1: It's nice. I mean your life, let's talk about that.
Speaker 1: Like you said that you're working a lot, smoking a lot. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what what what do you do for work?
Speaker 2: I'm a I work at a hospital and I'll work idolatry.
Speaker 1: Okay. And how has work been for you?
Speaker 6: This is straight.
Speaker 2: I got over over time basically working so much.
Speaker 5: M hm.
Speaker 1: Do you have any kind of of of aspirations for
Speaker 1: the future. Is there a thing? Uh, you know that
Speaker 1: you that you hope to do with your life someday?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I want to go to college. I should have went
Speaker 2: when I graduated high school, but I didn't. I waited
Speaker 2: like two years but I want to go to be
Speaker 2: ne natal orchtown sonographer.
Speaker 1: Nice. Nice. When when are you gonna go to school?
Speaker 2: Probably next year, most likely next year?
Speaker 1: Mm hmmmm. You know, kay, I want to I feel
Speaker 1: like I want to tell this to you, and I
Speaker 1: want to, you know, be sensitive about it because I
Speaker 1: know it's a sensitive subject. But can we talk for
Speaker 1: a second about you wanting to beat up this this
Speaker 1: guy's sister. Yeah, because I you know, I know that
Speaker 1: you're clearly very angry at the idea that, h you know,
Speaker 1: a person could have prevented this thing and they didn't,
Speaker 1: And I know that that that that makes you very angry.
Speaker 1: But you know, hearing you just now talking about you know,
Speaker 1: you want to go to college, and you have this
Speaker 1: career that you want to pursue, and you have a
Speaker 1: little sister and family who need you around. I I
Speaker 1: hope that you don't do anything even if you feel
Speaker 1: that it's justified, that would jeopardize your ability to do
Speaker 1: these things that you want to do.
Speaker 2: I doubt it would, because I've never been in trouble
Speaker 2: with the law, and like, I can get my I
Speaker 2: can get my thing cleared after I get out of jail.
Speaker 1: If you know what I mean what you record your
Speaker 1: your thing cleared my records.
Speaker 2: I can get my record your sponge.
Speaker 1: How do you do that? Oh?
Speaker 2: A long process. I have to my mom.
Speaker 1: Well, listen, I don't know you and I can't You're
Speaker 1: this is an anonymous phone call thing and I don't know.
Speaker 1: Uh I I just I just again hearing you talk
Speaker 1: about your little sister who needs you. You're you want
Speaker 1: to go to school, and I I I understand that
Speaker 1: you have these these desires for vengeance, but I hope
Speaker 1: you don't do anything that would get you in trouble
Speaker 1: with the law, even if you feel it is justified,
Speaker 1: just because you have so many higher things that you
Speaker 1: desire to do and you can you can take that
Speaker 1: for whatever it is. But I gotta say it to you, well, I.
Speaker 2: Appreciate you seeing the gig. I'm gonna take that consideration.
Speaker 1: Okay, good, please do I'm sorry. I'm sorry to hear
Speaker 1: that all this happened. Kaya. I know it sounds like
Speaker 1: you're still kind of processing it all, is there? Like,
Speaker 1: is there anything before we go that you feel like
Speaker 1: we didn't talk about any aspects of this or anything
Speaker 1: that you want to say before we go.
Speaker 3: M.
Speaker 2: I can't really put anything to mind at the moment.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, good luck Kaya with the stuff that you
Speaker 1: want to do with. I'm rooting for you. I'm sorry
Speaker 1: hear that all this happened, and I talk to you again.
Speaker 1: That is true, that is very true. I will talk
Speaker 1: to you soon.
Speaker 5: Kaya.
Speaker 1: Good luck to you, bo Geic love you. That was interesting, Kaya.
Speaker 1: I feel like I am in over my head with
Speaker 1: this podcast, but it is what it is. I am
Speaker 1: simply talking to random people on the phone about stuff
Speaker 1: and seeing what happens as a result of that. Kaya
Speaker 1: had a very calm demeanor to her, and it's interesting.
Speaker 1: I don't know what her outside demeanor, how reflective it
Speaker 1: is of anything she's feeling on the inside. And I
Speaker 1: said it to her. I said it five times, but
Speaker 1: I'll say it again. I do hope that that even
Speaker 1: though she feels as though she she should go out
Speaker 1: and enact some kind of revenge, that she does not
Speaker 1: do anything to jeopardize these these higher things like pursuing
Speaker 1: a career or being around to be there for her
Speaker 1: little sister. But thank you for calling in, Kaya.
Speaker 5: Hello, Hey, hey, hey yourself.
Speaker 1: We did that already, we did Hey, two times you're
Speaker 1: trying to do doing hey, a third time doing a
Speaker 1: third Hey.
Speaker 5: We should just get right into it.
Speaker 1: I think so too. What's going on?
Speaker 5: Man?
Speaker 1: Well, tell me about everything? What did you want to
Speaker 1: talk about?
Speaker 5: So? I got my dogs three years ago?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 5: He's a pretty good talk Yep. He's a Hungarian.
Speaker 1: He's a Hungarian?
Speaker 5: What a v Schlow?
Speaker 1: Okay, he's a Hungarian v Slow.
Speaker 5: And he just turned three and yesterday I had his
Speaker 5: balls cut off.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, you have an You have a Hungarian
Speaker 1: v Schlow. You took it to get neutered.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like it's a bad choice. You know.
Speaker 1: Interesting? Why do you feel like it was a bad choice?
Speaker 5: It makes me wonder what do what do they do
Speaker 5: with all the remains? Do they you know, do they
Speaker 5: donate them? Do they keep them in a jar? What
Speaker 5: is it with people's infatuation? But like the testicles of.
Speaker 1: Animals, I don't know what kind of people you have
Speaker 1: been hanging around, But I I mean, I guess I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't really know. There's only really a
Speaker 1: few people in my life who I feel like I
Speaker 1: know very very intimately, like a really finite small, small
Speaker 1: like two three people tops. So there could be a
Speaker 1: lot more people out there that I just don't know
Speaker 1: about that are as you say, infatuated with the testicles
Speaker 1: of animals. So I'm not going to deny that is true.
Speaker 1: But as far as what they do with the testicles
Speaker 1: of animals after they cut them off, I would think
Speaker 1: I would hope that they are either thrown away in
Speaker 1: some sort of biodegradable way, or they are used in
Speaker 1: some productive way, like maybe you can turn dog balls
Speaker 1: into hamster lungs somehow, and maybe they do that with them.
Speaker 1: But I don't know. I actually really know as just
Speaker 1: as much as you do about what they do with
Speaker 1: the desticles after they cut them off. What do you
Speaker 1: think they do?
Speaker 5: I know what they do with circumcised foreskins.
Speaker 1: What do they do with circumcised for skins?
Speaker 5: They put those in facial creams.
Speaker 1: In facial creams, Yeah, well, what.
Speaker 5: Kind of facial community like the ones that women put
Speaker 5: on their faces to rejuvenate their skin. Interesting thing, I
Speaker 5: watched the compelling anti circumcision video on YouTube. It was
Speaker 5: disguised dissertation about not having the boys circumcised anymore.
Speaker 1: So you believe that women's facial products contain the four
Speaker 1: skins of babies.
Speaker 5: It's not a belief, it's it's a fact.
Speaker 1: You're telling me. If I google this right now, it'll
Speaker 1: come up as they'll be like articles about it and ship.
Speaker 5: I'm one hundred four percent sure.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm gonna do it.
Speaker 5: Take so much what happens with the dogs testicles?
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm gonna do it all right. Well, I don't
Speaker 1: even know what to google for this? Are it there?
Speaker 1: For skin in? Is their foreskin in face cream? Holy shit?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Boston Magazine, The baby foreskin facial is
Speaker 1: a real thing. If you are listening to this, google
Speaker 1: is their foreskin in face cream? Okay?
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: Skin Medica is a company that uses foreskin fibroblasts to
Speaker 1: grow and cultivate new cells.
Speaker 5: Yeah, they believe it rejuvenates the skin.
Speaker 1: Okay. Here this is from quartz dot com. Several beauty
Speaker 1: products contain baby foreskin cells, urine or snail extract. Okay, No,
Speaker 1: this is You're one hundred percent correct here, this is right,
Speaker 1: this is true. I'm looking this up right now. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're you're one hundred percent correct.
Speaker 5: It makes me sad, you know, like, what happened to
Speaker 5: my dog's Well.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you think that the dog you think that
Speaker 1: dog balls are being used for something similar?
Speaker 5: I mean, why would it go to waste? At this point,
Speaker 5: it's already in ladies' facial creams.
Speaker 1: Okay, what do you what do you think that they're
Speaker 1: putting what do you think that they're putting it on?
Speaker 1: Put put putting it in.
Speaker 5: Right menstrual food? I don't know.
Speaker 1: Can I ask you this? I don't think I asked
Speaker 1: this question. What's your name again? Dane? Dane? What do
Speaker 1: you hope they're doing with them?
Speaker 5: You know, right after I picked him up from the vet,
Speaker 5: you have to look in his eyes like he knew
Speaker 5: what I had done to him? Now like this look
Speaker 5: at disappointment. What do I hope? I hope that they
Speaker 5: don't go to absolute waste? I mean he was using them.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, so you so you hope that they
Speaker 1: do do something with your dog's balls, like put them
Speaker 1: in a face cream or a soup, just so that
Speaker 1: they don't go to waste.
Speaker 5: I wish we didn't, you know, fool around with private
Speaker 5: parks like that. It's all very confusing.
Speaker 1: Well, Dane, I mean Dane, Dane, you took your dog
Speaker 1: to get.
Speaker 5: It's like societal pressures. You know, he can't go to
Speaker 5: dog daycare without with his balls. It's like they require
Speaker 5: his balls in exchange to attend daycare.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean that's the reasonable because if he went
Speaker 1: and he had dog balls, he would just try to
Speaker 1: have sex with all the other dogs.
Speaker 5: But if all the other dogs are stayed, what's the problem.
Speaker 5: You know, it's like a two.
Speaker 1: Well, if all the other dogs are spade, then it's
Speaker 1: not fair for him to not be spared.
Speaker 5: I called the state a spade. But this isn't fair
Speaker 5: at all. You know, Like, imagine if you had a
Speaker 5: misbehaving child. It's not like you would take him to
Speaker 5: the doctor to have his balls cut off in fifth grade.
Speaker 5: I mean fifth graders are monsters, but we don't cut
Speaker 5: their balls off.
Speaker 1: I guess that's true.
Speaker 4: Hm, I feel like I sailed my dog yesterday. You
Speaker 4: should make it up dog.
Speaker 1: You should get him a treaty or hey, I have
Speaker 1: an idea. I have an idea, Dane, Dane, listen before
Speaker 1: we go, I'm gonna throw this side. Okay, Dane, you
Speaker 1: go to a doctor and you say, listen, Doc, I
Speaker 1: know what you guys are doing with the baby fore
Speaker 1: and skins. I know that you're taking the baby fore
Speaker 1: and skins, taking the baby foreskins, and that they grow
Speaker 1: cells and that they can make new forms of life.
Speaker 1: And you say, Doc, I did my dog wrong. I
Speaker 1: fucked up. I took away his balls. And you know
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna do, Doc, I want to give my
Speaker 1: own balls to the dog. And you have the doctor
Speaker 1: put you under anesthetic, cut off your balls, and graft
Speaker 1: them onto your dog.
Speaker 5: That's just the advice I was looking for.
Speaker 1: Thank you for calling Dan.
Speaker 5: Good night love.
Speaker 1: I feel like I described a fantasy that he has
Speaker 1: had for a long time. I'm not going to get
Speaker 1: into it any further. I have no jurisdiction over what
Speaker 1: people do in their own minds. I am simply a
Speaker 1: gecko on the internet. Hello, Hi Dan. It says here
Speaker 1: that you you work at Arby's and you're stressed out
Speaker 1: a lot.
Speaker 3: I do, in fact work at Arby's.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so what's what? What's what's stressing you out about
Speaker 1: working at Arby's.
Speaker 3: I'm not a very sociable person. Honestly. Whenever I first
Speaker 3: got hired at said Arby's, I was not in charge
Speaker 3: of any customer interaction, but eventually I worked up the
Speaker 3: courage to ask my manager like, Hey, can I can
Speaker 3: I train to take orders, give people their food, smile
Speaker 3: and wave all that, you know, happy service with a smile,
Speaker 3: customer service stuff. M yeah, so I've done that. I've
Speaker 3: been doing that for a while and overall it's it's
Speaker 3: a pretty good gig. I make not great money, but
Speaker 3: I'm comfortable where I'm at. But it's just certain customers
Speaker 3: can be a little bit over demanding, you know.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you had a little bit of social anxiety
Speaker 1: You're working in the back, and then you were like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna face my fears go up to the front.
Speaker 3: Definitely, definitely.
Speaker 1: Okay, So these customers that are that are rude to you?
Speaker 1: What give me some examples of some of the interactions
Speaker 1: you've been having.
Speaker 3: Well, for the most part, people here at my local
Speaker 3: Arby's are very polite, very you know, accepting of any shorthandedness,
Speaker 3: slow service. You know, we might not have like the
Speaker 3: meats that you desired, we might not have your favorite
Speaker 3: uh side order like we have. We have monster rellistics
Speaker 3: and people love our Monterrellistics. I for one. I think
Speaker 3: they're okay, they're not the It's monster relsticks, but we've
Speaker 3: had people get like very angry if we were ever
Speaker 3: out of them. But overall, the customers are nice, but
Speaker 3: there can be people who are just kind of assholes
Speaker 3: just through and through, Like well, for example, mister Gecko,
Speaker 3: this one lady came through the drive through. Because nowadays
Speaker 3: I am in drive through, taking orders, cashing people out,
Speaker 3: handing their food through the window, trying to get it
Speaker 3: done as speedy as possible. This lady comes through my
Speaker 3: speaker and she starts asking like, do you have chopped chicken?
Speaker 3: I had no idea what she meant by this, so
Speaker 3: I asked her like, do you mean our roasted chicken?
Speaker 3: Do you mean chicken tenders? Do you mean chicken nuggets?
Speaker 3: But she was very adamant about it being chopped chicken.
Speaker 3: So I told her, ma'am, I do not have anything
Speaker 3: called chopped chicken on my menu. Would you like to
Speaker 3: try anything else that I just offered? And she, in
Speaker 3: typical you know, Ohio fashion, goes You're fucking ignorant and
Speaker 3: just drives off. And I sat there for a minute,
Speaker 3: just absolutely bewildered at how one human being can be
Speaker 3: so awful.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, Well, I mean looks, I mean, listen,
Speaker 1: you have chicken, right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we have. We had roasted chicken.
Speaker 1: But you and you and you guys had you got
Speaker 1: knives over.
Speaker 3: There, right, yeah we have not we have knives.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I mean theoretically you could take some chicken and
Speaker 1: chop it up and put it in a bowl.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, we could. But like at the time, the
Speaker 3: closest thing to what I was assuming that she was
Speaker 3: talking about was a roasted chicken, because it's already pre chopped.
Speaker 3: You know, it's already in like these little morsel bites
Speaker 3: that you can just pop in your mouth if you
Speaker 3: really want to.
Speaker 1: All right, So I mean so I said, look, so
Speaker 1: you did have chopped chicken. Yes, all right, So this
Speaker 1: was all just a big misunderstanding.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but that's that's that's the worst part of it.
Speaker 3: Most of it is misunderstanding. But like, yeah, no matter
Speaker 3: how polite you try to be to certain customers, it's always,
Speaker 3: at the end of the day, your fault. Like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I had this one dude. Who if you get food
Speaker 3: from inside of the store and you're carrying it out,
Speaker 3: typically there is no tax except for that rare occasion
Speaker 3: where there is, because there's like beverage taxes and sugar
Speaker 3: taxes and stuff like that. You know. So this guy
Speaker 3: comes through my drive through and he says he gets
Speaker 3: his order, and I tell him it's total, and he
Speaker 3: starts going off on me, like he starts yelling at
Speaker 3: me about how I'm wrong, and I tell him, like, sir,
Speaker 3: the sandwich you ordered, Sure, the price is listed differently
Speaker 3: than what I told you, but that is for a small.
Speaker 3: Our prices listed are for smalls we have.
Speaker 6: Like the You know, look, I think, can I see
Speaker 6: this is tough because I feel I you know, in
Speaker 6: all seriousness, I feel your pain.
Speaker 1: Man. It's hard to deal with, you know, people who
Speaker 1: are who are aggravating. It's difficult. But at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, you just gotta sit back and uh
Speaker 1: laugh at how funny it is for somebody to get
Speaker 1: really upset about chopped chicken and these people, these people
Speaker 1: Dan just I don't and I and I listen. You're
Speaker 1: you did nothing wrong, and you're upset because everyone is
Speaker 1: making you feel like you you did. You didn't do
Speaker 1: anything wrong, You didn't do anything even remotely wrong, but
Speaker 1: you're you're you're dealing with this person who lives in
Speaker 1: a universe where it is justifiable to get upset about
Speaker 1: chopped chicken. And what you don't want to do. What
Speaker 1: you don't want to do is let this person drag
Speaker 1: you into her universe, because the longer you take that
Speaker 1: with you, it's like, this person's upset about chopped chicken,
Speaker 1: and then you're upset that she's upset about chick chop chicken.
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, you're upset about chopped chicken,
Speaker 1: and without even realizing it, you've been pulled into the
Speaker 1: chopped chicken universe. And I just I just want you to,
Speaker 1: as you deal with all this stuff, be intentional about
Speaker 1: where you find your anger going and try to steer
Speaker 1: it away from the chopped chicken universe, because it's not
Speaker 1: a good place for anyone to be in. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: you could very easily just laugh off this woman, And
Speaker 1: I understand for you, how how how it's like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I can laugh this off. But if it's just a
Speaker 1: relentless sea of constant, non stopped chopped chicken people, how
Speaker 1: it could be easy to get pulled into their universe
Speaker 1: of anger. But you're You're better than that. Dan, You're
Speaker 1: You're I I really feel like you are. So if
Speaker 1: there's a way for you to to be more mindful
Speaker 1: of where you're letting your anger go and not let
Speaker 1: it get dragged around and really take hold of it
Speaker 1: and use it intentionally for places where it matters, I
Speaker 1: feel like you would be happier. But also, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't want to be dismissive of you and how
Speaker 1: you feel, so I mean, tell me what you think
Speaker 1: of all that.
Speaker 3: At the end of the day, I feel more or
Speaker 3: less the same way you do, geckos Or, because I
Speaker 3: did end up laughing at just the sheer absurdity of
Speaker 3: this woman who is claims to have been able to
Speaker 3: order her chopped chicken. But I also feel like there's
Speaker 3: not enough people in this world that are genuinely polite
Speaker 3: and understanding towards fast food workers, because it's a job
Speaker 3: that many people view as like many many layers beneath them.
Speaker 3: So it's just like in their minds, fast food workers
Speaker 3: are not people.
Speaker 1: Can I ask you a question and you would know
Speaker 1: this and I from experience, are most people the majority
Speaker 1: of people that come through decently pleasant, Yes, Okay, good, good,
Speaker 1: But it's just every now and then, and please don't
Speaker 1: let me put words in your mouth, stop me if
Speaker 1: I'm wrong. It is. It just kind of a every
Speaker 1: once in a while you will encounter a chops chicken person.
Speaker 7: Absolutely absolutely, Okay, okay, okay, And I'm just saying, if
Speaker 7: that is true, and do you tell police, Tell me
Speaker 7: if it's not, if you've had a different experience, but
Speaker 7: if that's true, for just for.
Speaker 1: Your own sake, not because they deserve it or whatever,
Speaker 1: but just for your own sake, don't let people drag
Speaker 1: you into the universe where we get upset about chops chicken,
Speaker 1: just for just for your own sake. This is just
Speaker 1: you doing what you can within your power, because you
Speaker 1: can't control other people being pissed off of you and
Speaker 1: other people being upset, but you can control whether or
Speaker 1: not you allow them to rattle you. And I hope
Speaker 1: you take pride in not letting that rattle you, because
Speaker 1: it's a skill. A lot of people can be very
Speaker 1: easily dragged into the universe of this fucking person said
Speaker 1: this fucking thing to me, and that fucking fuck them,
Speaker 1: and then they're like that just overpowers their thoughts and
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, this this person has power
Speaker 1: over you because of that, and you you just got
Speaker 1: to let that go for no reason other than it'll
Speaker 1: make you feel better while you're doing your job.
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, does that resonate with you? I want to be
Speaker 1: respectful of how you're feeling in this, and I'm not
Speaker 1: trying to tell you that you are you know whatever,
Speaker 1: the justification of your feelings, but just is this okay good?
Speaker 1: Does this feel? Does this resonate with.
Speaker 3: You a little bit? Yeah? I'm not particularly confrontal person
Speaker 3: in all In all honesty, I hate confrontation in almost
Speaker 3: any form. Sure, I told I told a story to
Speaker 3: your assistant. You can ask him if you would like
Speaker 3: further details. But like after after that, my entire body
Speaker 3: just started feeling like numb, like I needed to take
Speaker 3: take a take a nice like ice bath to just
Speaker 3: like calm. Every nerve, every muscle in my body just
Speaker 3: was begging for like we need to shut down. Something
Speaker 3: horrible just happened. It can't it can't get any worse
Speaker 3: than this. But like in my mind I know that
Speaker 3: that's like it's not stupid, Like you should be able
Speaker 3: to express your emotions freely, but like I I, I
Speaker 3: am what a lot of people would consider a dormat
Speaker 3: in most situations, but those very very rare occasions where
Speaker 3: I do stand up for myself, I just feel absolutely
Speaker 3: horrible for the person that I just accosted. And I
Speaker 3: know I shouldn't. I know I shouldn't, but it's just
Speaker 3: like I do not like being a rude person.
Speaker 1: You don't have you don't have to be a rude
Speaker 1: what's your dan, dan? You don't have to be a
Speaker 1: rude person, and you don't have to take your vengeance
Speaker 1: in the form of blowing up at people or accosting them.
Speaker 1: You just have to. I just want you to like
Speaker 1: take some like some form of intentional control over what
Speaker 1: you are going to choose to be upset about. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: for just again, for no reason other than your own
Speaker 1: say so, like you know this, So a person comes
Speaker 1: to you and as an asshole to you, and you're like, fuck,
Speaker 1: I cannot believe that this person was so rude to me,
Speaker 1: And you're like, you're it's you know, it's fucking an
Speaker 1: hour later, two hours later, three hours later, and you're
Speaker 1: still in your head going like I can't believe that
Speaker 1: person fucking said that to me. I should have said
Speaker 1: this back to them. I should have said this that
Speaker 1: at that point, when it's three hours past. Just take
Speaker 1: an objective, Just take an objective look at the situation,
Speaker 1: and go listen. From my own benefit, I need to
Speaker 1: go I can't. You just need to step back and
Speaker 1: be like, I can't let this stew in my brain
Speaker 1: because it's unproductive at this point, and it's distracting me
Speaker 1: from any number of more productive thoughts and feelings I
Speaker 1: could be having and optimize, optimize your emotions for yourself,
Speaker 1: not in some way that you're going to, you know,
Speaker 1: yell back at them to restore some kind of a
Speaker 1: fake balance in the universe that will never get restored.
Speaker 1: But you know, however, you can react in such a
Speaker 1: way that that optimizes your own personal peace, and that
Speaker 1: does not necessarily have to be you accosting people, you, you know, whatever.
Speaker 1: It is, just I would just think in those terms.
Speaker 1: Does that make sense?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, I feel now that I've now that I've
Speaker 3: shared this and so honestly more publicly than I ever have,
Speaker 3: I feel I feel a lot better.
Speaker 1: Good good, good, Dan. Is there anything else you want
Speaker 1: to say to the people, the computer, or to me,
Speaker 1: or that you feel like you didn't get out, or
Speaker 1: and just anything at all.
Speaker 3: Before we go, I just want to leave one quick
Speaker 3: message and give a shout out to one of my friends.
Speaker 3: The message that I'd like to leave you all with
Speaker 3: today is don't don't don't be assholes. Just be kind
Speaker 3: to one another. Try to find your own happiness. Don't
Speaker 3: don't be the chopped chicken lady of your social circles.
Speaker 3: Be be be a good person, be good people. And
Speaker 3: I'd like to give a shout out.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, you have a shout out, Please shout out.
Speaker 1: I'll stop talking and give you a shout out.
Speaker 3: You find mister Getka. I would like to give a
Speaker 3: shout out to James, somebody that's been a good friend,
Speaker 3: a good shoulder, a good bro for many years. Many years.
Speaker 3: I've helped him and he's helped me. Honestly, I feel
Speaker 3: like more than he knows. Yeah, thank you all, thank you,
Speaker 3: thank you, Dan.
Speaker 1: I'll see you soon, all.
Speaker 3: Right, thank you, mister Rico by twitch.
Speaker 1: I don't know why I said i'll see you soon.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that meant that I'm going to
Speaker 1: RBS soon or if I just said that because that's
Speaker 1: one of the things that people tend to say at
Speaker 1: the end of conversations and I needed to find one
Speaker 1: of those phrases, and then that's the one I found.
Speaker 1: But anyway, you know, listen, I tried to navigate that
Speaker 1: mindfully because I look, I'm I'm playing Devil's Advocate to
Speaker 1: myself all the time of like, you know, people should
Speaker 1: be able to feel their feelings and stuff, and I
Speaker 1: totally agree with that, but I just am like, at
Speaker 1: a certain point, you know, you gotta optimize for what's
Speaker 1: the most productive way for me to feel about this
Speaker 1: situation and go about this situation just for my own peace.
Speaker 1: And sometimes it's not to blow up and chew the
Speaker 1: other person out or to be as mad as you
Speaker 1: possibly can about chopped chicken lady. And here's another thing.
Speaker 1: Chopped chicken Lady is inevitable. She's inevitable. She's people being
Speaker 1: dis or being rude to you is just an inevitable.
Speaker 1: It's like, it's this inevitability of the universe. It's a
Speaker 1: constant and you can't take it personally, and you just
Speaker 1: gotta go, look, fuck, I heard this thing. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: I'm gonna shout out. I'm gonna shout out this guy
Speaker 1: I like on the internet who says stuff. His name
Speaker 1: is Ryan Holliday. He talks a lot about stoic for
Speaker 1: He said this thing that I've been thinking about a lot.
Speaker 1: He said, pay the taxes of life gladly. And I
Speaker 1: liked that. And I feel like dealing with this rude
Speaker 1: people is like a tax of life. It's an inevitable thing,
Speaker 1: and so when it comes upon you, just be like,
Speaker 1: look ninety percent. And I asked Dan about this because
Speaker 1: I wanted him to clarify because I have not worked
Speaker 1: fast food and he has, and so I wanted it
Speaker 1: from his mouth. And he said that ninety percent of
Speaker 1: people that come to him. He didn't say ninety percent,
Speaker 1: but he said a majority. I don't know why I'm
Speaker 1: making up numbers, but anyway, he said a majority of
Speaker 1: people are cool, and it's like the few that are assholes.
Speaker 1: And just to accept that a few people are assholes
Speaker 1: when they come to you, and that it's a constant
Speaker 1: and to nataga personally will make you feel better. And
Speaker 1: if it makes you feel better, then I think that's
Speaker 1: the way you should think about it. I am a
Speaker 1: Gecko on the computer saying words to people. Let's take
Speaker 1: another call. Hello, Hello, Hi, Hi, how are you? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Who am I? Who am I speaking with? Who am
Speaker 1: I speaking with?
Speaker 8: I asked to be anonymous.
Speaker 1: Okay, so I'm gonna call you. I'm gonna call you, Uh, Leanne,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call you. Lead's too much, I'm gonna call you.
Speaker 1: Give me a name, you pick, you pick your name.
Speaker 8: Oh, let's go with like Ava.
Speaker 1: That's cool, right, Ava? Okay? I like that. I was
Speaker 1: trying to think of something short. I feel like Leanne
Speaker 1: has too many syllo Okay, Ava, Hello, what's going on
Speaker 1: with you? What's what's up? Ava?
Speaker 5: Is?
Speaker 1: How are you doing this evening?
Speaker 8: I'm good. I just went to class today and did
Speaker 8: some homework and I saw you were on Twitch and
Speaker 8: I called like right away, Yeah here I am.
Speaker 1: Now is there a thing in particular that you wanted
Speaker 1: to call in to talk about?
Speaker 8: I just turned twenty one, not that long ago, and
Speaker 8: I've kind of like always been into drinking, like kind
Speaker 8: of since I was like eighteen or nineteen, and it
Speaker 8: was kind of like more of a problem more so
Speaker 8: during COVID, I would say, but I got better with it.
Speaker 8: And then once I turned twenty one, I feel like
Speaker 8: I fell into like a bad, like dark twisted spiral
Speaker 8: of like drinking and like going out every weekend. And
Speaker 8: I think it's like I'm just starting to make worse
Speaker 8: and worse decisions every weekend. And I started to like
Speaker 8: dabble with drugs and I don't like doing drugs like
Speaker 8: it's only thing, and it started to scare me because
Speaker 8: that's not me. So I like, I just wake up
Speaker 8: in random guy's beds every weekend and I wake up
Speaker 8: on Sunday and I just I feel like a piece
Speaker 8: of shit and I don't know, like I regret all
Speaker 8: my decisions, Like I know, like on one hand, it's
Speaker 8: like I know I'm twenty one and I'm just having fun.
Speaker 8: But then on the other hand, I feel like I'm
Speaker 8: like letting myself down and like my family down, and
Speaker 8: I just go through this basically same cycle every single
Speaker 8: weekend and like every Sunday when I wake up and
Speaker 8: I don't know, I just feel like I feel like
Speaker 8: I'm kind of disappointing like my parents and like my
Speaker 8: brother in a way, like my brother drinks, but like
Speaker 8: he gives me a lot of shit for it, but
Speaker 8: it wouldn't be a problem. But it's starting to become
Speaker 8: something I look forward to every weekend. Yeah, so it's
Speaker 8: starting to really bug me and make me feel like
Speaker 8: a terrible person kind of.
Speaker 1: Okay, so, uh, the drinking and the partying and everything
Speaker 1: has been going on since you were a teen.
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, I mean I didn't really so much. Like
Speaker 8: it wasn't like a ton of partying. It was like,
Speaker 8: especially with COVID, I would just kind of like drink
Speaker 8: with my friend, like at home because okay, we don't
Speaker 8: have to go to we didn't have to go to
Speaker 8: school anymore.
Speaker 1: And you and you're noticing that that since you were
Speaker 1: doing it when you were eighteen, it is it has
Speaker 1: gotten progressively more intense as you've gotten older and as
Speaker 1: you've turned twenty one. Yeah, especially, how how often are
Speaker 1: you going out and partying and drinking?
Speaker 8: It's like every Friday and Saturday night.
Speaker 1: Okay, every Friday and Saturday night. And you you say,
Speaker 1: it's not you, that's what you said.
Speaker 8: What do you mean not me?
Speaker 1: Isn't that what you said? You said? Yeah, you said
Speaker 1: it's not like you, or or something to the to
Speaker 1: the tune of it's not how you want to be.
Speaker 8: Well, it's like I have a like I have a
Speaker 8: good time doing it. I think it's because I have
Speaker 8: so much anxiety. Like once I have a few drinks
Speaker 8: in me, like I just you know, I think everybody
Speaker 8: can relate. Like I feel good and like I feel better,
Speaker 8: but like I wake up the next morning and I
Speaker 8: just like like reflect on myself and I'm just like,
Speaker 8: like the decisions I made, like how much I drink,
Speaker 8: the things like texted people and like that, not you,
Speaker 8: And I just like I feel like it's not like
Speaker 8: the me I resonate with one hund and I just
Speaker 8: feel like shit. And then to like make myself feel better,
Speaker 8: I'll just like drink again not think about it, but
Speaker 8: then I'll feel the same way the next day.
Speaker 1: So you're hearing it. So I mean I asked you
Speaker 1: that because you're talking about this like cognitive dissonance between
Speaker 1: who you desire to be, who you feel like you are,
Speaker 1: and then who you feel like you are when you're
Speaker 1: out drinking and texting people things that you you feel
Speaker 1: like you shouldn't be texting them. Would tell me more
Speaker 1: about this more ideal version of yourself that you have
Speaker 1: in mind.
Speaker 8: I feel like I feel like the most ideal version
Speaker 8: of myself was me like five months ago. Like I
Speaker 8: went through a period of me like consistently going to therapy,
Speaker 8: like I was going to the gym, I was going
Speaker 8: to church and like eating right like I lost this
Speaker 8: kind of weight, Like I was doing great, and then
Speaker 8: I fell off when I got sick, like I got COVID.
Speaker 8: So then you know, like I wasn't really eating or
Speaker 8: couldn't go to the gym for a while, and instead
Speaker 8: of like just getting right back on it, I just
Speaker 8: fell off. So I started kind of like slowly getting
Speaker 8: into those like drinking habits again and just like eating
Speaker 8: like shit and not being my best self. So like
Speaker 8: I know like what my best self looks like and
Speaker 8: what I need to do to get there. But it's like,
Speaker 8: since I'm in this phase of like going out and
Speaker 8: just having fun and being able to go out and
Speaker 8: do that, like I don't want to stop. But like, so,
Speaker 8: like you said, the ideal version, Sorry.
Speaker 1: So you I mean you told me you were going
Speaker 1: to therapy for a little bit.
Speaker 8: Oh yeah, I had a Really here's the thing. I
Speaker 8: have a wonderful therapist. I've seen her for like a year,
Speaker 8: but she got into legal trouble, so I haven't been
Speaker 8: able to see her for a few months.
Speaker 1: Oh geez, well, I mean I mean that aside when
Speaker 1: you were going to therapy, What did you discuss these
Speaker 1: kinds of issues with your therapist? And if you did,
Speaker 1: what do they tell you about it?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 8: I did, And like I don't know if anybody else,
Speaker 8: like anybody that's listening has gone like like your surface
Speaker 8: will kind of tell you things without like they'll try
Speaker 8: to like tell you the right things, but they want
Speaker 8: you to like figure it out on your own, so
Speaker 8: like they're not gonna like she wouldn't like sit there
Speaker 8: and tell me like, hey, here's what you should do.
Speaker 1: Well, well give me okay. So she's telling you things
Speaker 1: to help you try to figure it out on your own.
Speaker 1: Tell us what what those things are shed.
Speaker 8: She'd kind of. I think I like do it as
Speaker 8: a way to just like like escape my anxiety and
Speaker 8: like get attention, especially from guys and stuff. And you know,
Speaker 8: it's it's of course easier to do that after you've
Speaker 8: had a few drinks in you. So I feel like
Speaker 8: I use it kind of as almost like Okay.
Speaker 1: So you're you're seeing you're seeing it as a way
Speaker 1: to escape anxiety and get attention. Yeah, so what what
Speaker 1: do you this anxiety that you're escaping? What do you
Speaker 1: what do you think you're anxious about?
Speaker 8: It's like like from therapy, Like I know, it's like
Speaker 8: anxiety from like my family and schools aig stressor right now? Yeah,
Speaker 8: and like money and stuff And even though I don't
Speaker 8: have money, like I just continue to go out and
Speaker 8: get drinks from guys and.
Speaker 1: Stuff like just because listen, you know, I'm I'm I'm
Speaker 1: obviously not a real therapist, but I do feel like
Speaker 1: you know, you you talking about these things in therapy
Speaker 1: and exploring the kind of underlying reasons as to why
Speaker 1: you do things could key you in is to like, Okay, well,
Speaker 1: if I'm anxious or if I want attention, first of all,
Speaker 1: why am I anxious? Why am I Why do I
Speaker 1: want attention? And then second of all, are there healthier
Speaker 1: ways to deal with that anxiety and that need for
Speaker 1: attention then you know, to to get twisted? M hmm,
Speaker 1: And I don't I don't know. I feel like that's
Speaker 1: the kind of thing that that they tell you about
Speaker 1: this stuff. So I mean, if we can get into it.
Speaker 1: What other ways do you feel like you could deal
Speaker 1: with your anxiety?
Speaker 8: Like, honestly, I know as cliches, it sounds like when
Speaker 8: I was going to the gym and like taking care
Speaker 8: of myself and like what I ate, Like I was
Speaker 8: so like mentally I felt like the best that I
Speaker 8: had in a really long time, and going to therapy
Speaker 8: consistently really helped. But like I was so comfortable with
Speaker 8: her and like she knew everything about me, so like
Speaker 8: trying to find another one and like convey all my
Speaker 8: like issues in my life and every it's a whole thing,
Speaker 8: you know, And it's more money, which I don't have
Speaker 8: right now because I'm in college, and it's just like
Speaker 8: so it's like I know the steps to get there.
Speaker 8: It's just a matter of like taking those steps.
Speaker 1: What about what about the attention thing?
Speaker 3: Why?
Speaker 1: Why do you feel like you're your clamoring for attention
Speaker 1: from people?
Speaker 8: Probably gotty issues. I've talked about that in therapy too,
Speaker 8: and it's like I realize it, but it's like I
Speaker 8: don't know what to do.
Speaker 1: To fix it. What what is your therapist tell you
Speaker 1: about about those issues?
Speaker 8: She's so kind of shell like explain it like she'll like,
Speaker 8: when I make these decisions, she'll tell me, she's like, well, like,
Speaker 8: so this is why you're doing this, most likely because
Speaker 8: as you were like raised, your dad acted this way
Speaker 8: blah blah blah. Huh, and but I don't know how
Speaker 8: to really like like she'll tell me why, but it's
Speaker 8: like I don't.
Speaker 1: But it's like I don't know what to do with
Speaker 1: this information.
Speaker 8: Yeah, it's like I'm hearing you, but it's like what
Speaker 8: do I what do I do to get that validation
Speaker 8: and that like by not acting like I look not.
Speaker 1: To not to play therapist, although I guess that's what
Speaker 1: I'm always doing all the time. But this like need
Speaker 1: for attention, does it come from any any kind of
Speaker 1: like a low self esteem?
Speaker 8: M I don't. It might, but it's like and this
Speaker 8: might sound like self centered, but like I don't have
Speaker 8: a problem like getting attention from guys like if I
Speaker 8: want it. So it's like I don't know why I
Speaker 8: go out of my way to like get more and more.
Speaker 1: I mean, do you feel like you're do you feel
Speaker 1: like you're addicted to the validation?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, it make sure yeah, yeah, I mean you
Speaker 1: know that's a common thing for a lot of people
Speaker 1: getting addicted to kind of outside validation in my personal life.
Speaker 1: You know, I've I've had plenty of eras where I've
Speaker 1: been addicted to you know, validation, and it's I found
Speaker 1: it gets better when you try to form some kind
Speaker 1: of your best off your best defense against that is
Speaker 1: to build some kind of internal structure of self validation.
Speaker 1: It's something I feel like we've talked about on here
Speaker 1: a lot, and something that I'm always, always, always, always
Speaker 1: thinking about just in real life and ship. I I
Speaker 1: don't I don't have a I don't have a set
Speaker 1: in stone road map on how to do that, but
Speaker 1: I know that if, if, if that's one of the
Speaker 1: big issues you're struggling with, then you you kind of
Speaker 1: would would would likely benefit from walking down the road
Speaker 1: of at least attempting to do that. Because if if
Speaker 1: you don't have any kind of internal validation or or
Speaker 1: sense of self or understanding of yourself as a certain
Speaker 1: kind of person that you can be proud of, then
Speaker 1: you're just gonna get fucking jostled around by the chaotic
Speaker 1: winds of other people's opinions and validations. Which is is uh,
Speaker 1: you know, a a hard way to live. Yeah, sure,
Speaker 1: so I guess I guess those two things, the building
Speaker 1: of the internal confidence and then fuck, what was the
Speaker 1: other thing we talked about that was for the attention thing?
Speaker 1: And then there was the anxiety thing? What do we
Speaker 1: say about the anxiety thing? I forgot?
Speaker 8: I forgot too.
Speaker 1: Okay, hold on, we're going I'm gonna remember it. Oh well,
Speaker 1: good thing we recorded this? Okay, with anxiety your therapist?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, ways to deal with anxiety? Oh yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: it was you. Was you talking about going to the
Speaker 1: gym and fucking eating stuff? I mean that's how I look.
Speaker 1: I I do a lot of things to deal with
Speaker 1: my anxiety that are unhealthy. I don't I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: a hypocrite here. I'm eating candy, I don't go to
Speaker 1: the gym. I'm fucking That's how I deal with my
Speaker 1: anxiety is through unhealthy COPD mechanisms. But yeah, I think
Speaker 1: we both know that the cliche but correct answer to
Speaker 1: our issues is to, you know, do all the shit
Speaker 1: that every single person has been raving about forever, which
Speaker 1: is to eat healthy and exercise. But hey, let me
Speaker 1: know if that works for you, because maybe I'll do it. Myself.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I need to get back on it, and I
Speaker 8: just need to not give myself such a hard time
Speaker 8: for I guess, like living my life, I just need
Speaker 8: to like tone it down.
Speaker 1: A little bit. Yeah, I mean, look, don't you know.
Speaker 1: I mean this is a hard thing because I mean look,
Speaker 1: if you if you enjoy going out and doing your
Speaker 1: thing and you find yourself getting genuine, positive social interactions
Speaker 1: and life experiences out of it, then that's good. But
Speaker 1: keep an eye on it, you know, because I think once,
Speaker 1: once you're looking at it and like, well, no, these
Speaker 1: nights out aren't giving me positive life experiences and cool
Speaker 1: stories and human connection, but are really just kind of
Speaker 1: serving the darker sides of what I desire, then it
Speaker 1: might be time to try to slow it down. But
Speaker 1: you know, I guess just try to keep an eye
Speaker 1: on it. Yeah, yeah, is there anything else you want
Speaker 1: to say to the people the computer before we go?
Speaker 8: No, but thanks for talking to me, and I'm glad
Speaker 8: I got through finally.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks for talking to me too. I will see
Speaker 1: you around on the computer, Eva. Thank Yeah, I love
Speaker 1: you Greg Eva forever. Oh yeah, that was an interesting
Speaker 1: cart That was something I feel like i've talked about
Speaker 1: a hundred times, the building of internal confidence and trying
Speaker 1: not to eat shitty. Every time I give the whole,
Speaker 1: I give the building of internal confidence. Speech makes me
Speaker 1: think about myself. I think about how much I've built
Speaker 1: an internal confidence, and I think I'm getting pretty good.
Speaker 1: I think I'm getting pretty good, but I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm waiting for somebody to say something to me, or
Speaker 1: something bad to happen to me, or anything like that
Speaker 1: where I can really test to found my foundation. But
Speaker 1: it hasn't happened yet. And then with the eating thing,
Speaker 1: I mean, fuck, I ate like three almond joys before
Speaker 1: I came on here. I probably shouldn't do that.
Speaker 3: Ever goes on the line, taking your phone calls every night.
Speaker 1: Everything goes to its teaching you.
Speaker 3: Cloud in the Memory life really an expert