WEBVTT - THE FORESKIN BEAUTY CREAM TRUTH BOMB

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<v Speaker 1>Kai, mm hmm, what's up man?

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<v Speaker 2>It's been a hell of a two weeks.

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<v Speaker 3>Man?

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<v Speaker 1>Uh in how how som so?

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<v Speaker 2>One day? All right, I went to a funeral, which

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<v Speaker 2>is a family member, and then I went to sleep

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<v Speaker 2>after the funeral and woke up to some crazy news

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<v Speaker 2>that my grandparents were murdered by a kid that they fostered.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, yeah, when was this.

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<v Speaker 2>September?

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<v Speaker 4>Tenth?

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<v Speaker 1>OUs? This is like, yeah, they were murdered by a

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<v Speaker 1>kid that they fostered. Yeah were you were you close

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<v Speaker 1>with your grandparents?

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<v Speaker 2>Very It just feel weird because like now my birthday

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<v Speaker 2>is this Friday, right, and I can't go to their

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<v Speaker 2>house because they're not going to be there.

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<v Speaker 1>How how have you been processing this over the past month?

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<v Speaker 3>Working?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay? Has that? Has that helped at all?

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>It really is smoking.

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<v Speaker 1>Into working, smoking and working. What how old was this

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<v Speaker 1>kid that they were fostering?

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<v Speaker 2>His team and he's charged as as an adult for

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<v Speaker 2>two counts of murder.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh wow, have you been? Did you go down to

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<v Speaker 1>the courthouse and are you going now?

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<v Speaker 2>They took him to prison because his sister snitched on

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<v Speaker 2>him after he murdered my grandparents because she knew what

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<v Speaker 2>he was going to do because he told her.

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<v Speaker 1>So. So his sister knew that he was going to

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<v Speaker 1>do this, yes, but didn't but told after instead of before.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes?

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<v Speaker 1>How Uh, this is a loaded question for sure, But

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, well, well, first of all, you know, listen,

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<v Speaker 1>I know we're in a public form. Is this just

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<v Speaker 1>this subject as a whole? I know it's rather fresh.

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<v Speaker 1>Is it just a thing that you feel comfortable talking

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<v Speaker 1>about on a thing?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay? Cool? I mean how do you how do you

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<v Speaker 1>feel about this situation as a whole? Like, I know

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<v Speaker 1>that's a loaded questions, but what's what have you been

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<v Speaker 1>kind of processing?

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<v Speaker 2>Shocked and like angry? Mm hmm I feel robbed, you

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<v Speaker 2>know what I mean?

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<v Speaker 1>Mm hmmmm? Have you spoken to or had any contact

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<v Speaker 1>with the uh the sister?

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<v Speaker 2>No, I texted her because when I find her, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>gonna be her ass. But yeah, I haven't found her.

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<v Speaker 1>You're going you're going to try to find her?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, when she turns eighteen. She's an I know she's

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<v Speaker 2>in the foster system right now, but when I find her,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm kicking her ass.

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<v Speaker 1>Mm hmmm. What about your family? How has your family

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<v Speaker 1>been reacting?

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<v Speaker 2>M they cry, but they don't as much as I

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<v Speaker 2>did because I'm a sensitive person or whatever. But my

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<v Speaker 2>dad was like, don't cry because they are in a

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<v Speaker 2>better place and my grandma is not in pain anymore,

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<v Speaker 2>so I should be happy she's gone instead of in pain.

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<v Speaker 1>Mm hmm. Do you have any siblings?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>How have your siblings been reacting?

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<v Speaker 2>My sister, she was sad like the funeral, of course,

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<v Speaker 2>but they've been holding up. I'm gonna take my sister

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<v Speaker 2>because our birthdays are the same. I'm gonna take her

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<v Speaker 2>to go to the funeral. I'm at the funeral ship.

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<v Speaker 2>The the graves like to go put some flowers on

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<v Speaker 2>their graves.

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<v Speaker 1>Tell I mean, tell me about the the funeral. What

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<v Speaker 1>what was the air in the room. How were people

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<v Speaker 1>feeling was it? Did did it feel healing to be

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<v Speaker 1>with with people who were in your grandparents' lives? What

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<v Speaker 1>was kind of the the the vibe there?

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<v Speaker 2>It was like a full churchman like, it was packed

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<v Speaker 2>to the ground. But none of them people really knew

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<v Speaker 2>who I was, so it was basically like I was

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<v Speaker 2>holding myself together.

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<v Speaker 1>They didn't they didn't know who you were. They didn't

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<v Speaker 1>know that you were their grandchild.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, m hm.

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<v Speaker 1>Did you get to Did you get any kind of

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<v Speaker 1>new perspectives on your grandparents by talking to other people

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<v Speaker 1>that knew them?

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<v Speaker 2>No, I was there to support, mostly supporting my little

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<v Speaker 2>sister because she was really really close to my grandma.

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<v Speaker 1>Mm hmmm. Have you been in content? Do you do you?

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<v Speaker 1>Your little sister doesn't live with you, does she? No? Okay?

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<v Speaker 1>Have you been in a lot of contact with her

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<v Speaker 1>since this all happens.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, checking up on her. She really likes art and stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm trying to buy her some canvases and ship It's nice.

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<v Speaker 1>It's nice. I mean your life, let's talk about that.

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<v Speaker 1>Like you said that you're working a lot, smoking a lot. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>what what what do you do for work?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm a I work at a hospital and I'll work idolatry.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay. And how has work been for you?

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<v Speaker 6>This is straight.

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<v Speaker 2>I got over over time basically working so much.

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<v Speaker 5>M hm.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you have any kind of of of aspirations for

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<v Speaker 1>the future. Is there a thing? Uh, you know that

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<v Speaker 1>you that you hope to do with your life someday?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>I want to go to college. I should have went

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<v Speaker 2>when I graduated high school, but I didn't. I waited

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<v Speaker 2>like two years but I want to go to be

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<v Speaker 2>ne natal orchtown sonographer.

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<v Speaker 1>Nice. Nice. When when are you gonna go to school?

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<v Speaker 2>Probably next year, most likely next year?

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<v Speaker 1>Mm hmmmm. You know, kay, I want to I feel

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<v Speaker 1>like I want to tell this to you, and I

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<v Speaker 1>want to, you know, be sensitive about it because I

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<v Speaker 1>know it's a sensitive subject. But can we talk for

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<v Speaker 1>a second about you wanting to beat up this this

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<v Speaker 1>guy's sister. Yeah, because I you know, I know that

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<v Speaker 1>you're clearly very angry at the idea that, h you know,

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<v Speaker 1>a person could have prevented this thing and they didn't,

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<v Speaker 1>And I know that that that that makes you very angry.

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<v Speaker 1>But you know, hearing you just now talking about you know,

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<v Speaker 1>you want to go to college, and you have this

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<v Speaker 1>career that you want to pursue, and you have a

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<v Speaker 1>little sister and family who need you around. I I

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<v Speaker 1>hope that you don't do anything even if you feel

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<v Speaker 1>that it's justified, that would jeopardize your ability to do

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<v Speaker 1>these things that you want to do.

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<v Speaker 2>I doubt it would, because I've never been in trouble

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<v Speaker 2>with the law, and like, I can get my I

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<v Speaker 2>can get my thing cleared after I get out of jail.

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<v Speaker 1>If you know what I mean what you record your

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<v Speaker 1>your thing cleared my records.

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<v Speaker 2>I can get my record your sponge.

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<v Speaker 1>How do you do that? Oh?

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<v Speaker 2>A long process. I have to my mom.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, listen, I don't know you and I can't You're

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<v Speaker 1>this is an anonymous phone call thing and I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>Uh I I just I just again hearing you talk

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<v Speaker 1>about your little sister who needs you. You're you want

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<v Speaker 1>to go to school, and I I I understand that

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<v Speaker 1>you have these these desires for vengeance, but I hope

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<v Speaker 1>you don't do anything that would get you in trouble

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<v Speaker 1>with the law, even if you feel it is justified,

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<v Speaker 1>just because you have so many higher things that you

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<v Speaker 1>desire to do and you can you can take that

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<v Speaker 1>for whatever it is. But I gotta say it to you, well, I.

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<v Speaker 2>Appreciate you seeing the gig. I'm gonna take that consideration.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, good, please do I'm sorry. I'm sorry to hear

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<v Speaker 1>that all this happened. Kaya. I know it sounds like

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<v Speaker 1>you're still kind of processing it all, is there? Like,

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<v Speaker 1>is there anything before we go that you feel like

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<v Speaker 1>we didn't talk about any aspects of this or anything

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<v Speaker 1>that you want to say before we go.

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<v Speaker 3>M.

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<v Speaker 2>I can't really put anything to mind at the moment.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, Well, good luck Kaya with the stuff that you

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<v Speaker 1>want to do with. I'm rooting for you. I'm sorry

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<v Speaker 1>hear that all this happened, and I talk to you again.

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<v Speaker 1>That is true, that is very true. I will talk

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<v Speaker 1>to you soon.

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<v Speaker 5>Kaya.

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<v Speaker 1>Good luck to you, bo Geic love you. That was interesting, Kaya.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like I am in over my head with

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<v Speaker 1>this podcast, but it is what it is. I am

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<v Speaker 1>simply talking to random people on the phone about stuff

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<v Speaker 1>and seeing what happens as a result of that. Kaya

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<v Speaker 1>had a very calm demeanor to her, and it's interesting.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know what her outside demeanor, how reflective it

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<v Speaker 1>is of anything she's feeling on the inside. And I

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<v Speaker 1>said it to her. I said it five times, but

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<v Speaker 1>I'll say it again. I do hope that that even

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<v Speaker 1>though she feels as though she she should go out

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<v Speaker 1>and enact some kind of revenge, that she does not

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<v Speaker 1>do anything to jeopardize these these higher things like pursuing

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<v Speaker 1>a career or being around to be there for her

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<v Speaker 1>little sister. But thank you for calling in, Kaya.

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<v Speaker 5>Hello, Hey, hey, hey yourself.

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<v Speaker 1>We did that already, we did Hey, two times you're

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<v Speaker 1>trying to do doing hey, a third time doing a

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<v Speaker 1>third Hey.

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<v Speaker 5>We should just get right into it.

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<v Speaker 1>I think so too. What's going on?

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<v Speaker 5>Man?

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<v Speaker 1>Well, tell me about everything? What did you want to

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<v Speaker 1>talk about?

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<v Speaker 5>So? I got my dogs three years ago?

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<v Speaker 3>You know?

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<v Speaker 1>Mm hmm.

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<v Speaker 5>He's a pretty good talk Yep. He's a Hungarian.

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<v Speaker 1>He's a Hungarian?

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<v Speaker 5>What a v Schlow?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, he's a Hungarian v Slow.

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<v Speaker 5>And he just turned three and yesterday I had his

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<v Speaker 5>balls cut off.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, all right, you have an You have a Hungarian

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<v Speaker 1>v Schlow. You took it to get neutered.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I feel like it's a bad choice. You know.

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<v Speaker 1>Interesting? Why do you feel like it was a bad choice?

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<v Speaker 5>It makes me wonder what do what do they do

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<v Speaker 5>with all the remains? Do they you know, do they

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<v Speaker 5>donate them? Do they keep them in a jar? What

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<v Speaker 5>is it with people's infatuation? But like the testicles of.

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<v Speaker 1>Animals, I don't know what kind of people you have

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<v Speaker 1>been hanging around, But I I mean, I guess I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know. I don't really know. There's only really a

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<v Speaker 1>few people in my life who I feel like I

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<v Speaker 1>know very very intimately, like a really finite small, small

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<v Speaker 1>like two three people tops. So there could be a

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<v Speaker 1>lot more people out there that I just don't know

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<v Speaker 1>about that are as you say, infatuated with the testicles

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<v Speaker 1>of animals. So I'm not going to deny that is true.

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<v Speaker 1>But as far as what they do with the testicles

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<v Speaker 1>of animals after they cut them off, I would think

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<v Speaker 1>I would hope that they are either thrown away in

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<v Speaker 1>some sort of biodegradable way, or they are used in

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<v Speaker 1>some productive way, like maybe you can turn dog balls

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<v Speaker 1>into hamster lungs somehow, and maybe they do that with them.

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<v Speaker 1>But I don't know. I actually really know as just

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<v Speaker 1>as much as you do about what they do with

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<v Speaker 1>the desticles after they cut them off. What do you

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<v Speaker 1>think they do?

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<v Speaker 5>I know what they do with circumcised foreskins.

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<v Speaker 1>What do they do with circumcised for skins?

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<v Speaker 5>They put those in facial creams.

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<v Speaker 1>In facial creams, Yeah, well, what.

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<v Speaker 5>Kind of facial community like the ones that women put

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<v Speaker 5>on their faces to rejuvenate their skin. Interesting thing, I

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<v Speaker 5>watched the compelling anti circumcision video on YouTube. It was

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<v Speaker 5>disguised dissertation about not having the boys circumcised anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>So you believe that women's facial products contain the four

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<v Speaker 1>skins of babies.

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<v Speaker 5>It's not a belief, it's it's a fact.

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<v Speaker 1>You're telling me. If I google this right now, it'll

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<v Speaker 1>come up as they'll be like articles about it and ship.

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<v Speaker 5>I'm one hundred four percent sure.

0:17:01.240 --> 0:17:02.080
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I'm gonna do it.

0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:04.840
<v Speaker 5>Take so much what happens with the dogs testicles?

0:17:04.960 --> 0:17:06.600
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I'm gonna do it all right. Well, I don't

0:17:06.600 --> 0:17:12.560
<v Speaker 1>even know what to google for this? Are it there?

0:17:12.640 --> 0:17:21.760
<v Speaker 1>For skin in? Is their foreskin in face cream? Holy shit?

0:17:23.280 --> 0:17:29.679
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, Boston Magazine, The baby foreskin facial is

0:17:29.720 --> 0:17:33.160
<v Speaker 1>a real thing. If you are listening to this, google

0:17:33.359 --> 0:17:39.280
<v Speaker 1>is their foreskin in face cream? Okay?

0:17:40.960 --> 0:17:41.280
<v Speaker 3>Uh.

0:17:42.080 --> 0:17:48.520
<v Speaker 1>Skin Medica is a company that uses foreskin fibroblasts to

0:17:48.760 --> 0:17:51.359
<v Speaker 1>grow and cultivate new cells.

0:17:53.280 --> 0:17:56.040
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, they believe it rejuvenates the skin.

0:17:58.359 --> 0:18:01.440
<v Speaker 1>Okay. Here this is from quartz dot com. Several beauty

0:18:01.480 --> 0:18:13.480
<v Speaker 1>products contain baby foreskin cells, urine or snail extract. Okay, No,

0:18:13.640 --> 0:18:16.040
<v Speaker 1>this is You're one hundred percent correct here, this is right,

0:18:16.080 --> 0:18:21.880
<v Speaker 1>this is true. I'm looking this up right now. Yeah,

0:18:21.920 --> 0:18:23.280
<v Speaker 1>you're you're one hundred percent correct.

0:18:26.040 --> 0:18:28.600
<v Speaker 5>It makes me sad, you know, like, what happened to

0:18:28.640 --> 0:18:29.560
<v Speaker 5>my dog's Well.

0:18:34.240 --> 0:18:36.240
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so you think that the dog you think that

0:18:36.600 --> 0:18:39.040
<v Speaker 1>dog balls are being used for something similar?

0:18:40.960 --> 0:18:43.800
<v Speaker 5>I mean, why would it go to waste? At this point,

0:18:44.080 --> 0:18:46.359
<v Speaker 5>it's already in ladies' facial creams.

0:18:46.760 --> 0:18:48.200
<v Speaker 1>Okay, what do you what do you think that they're

0:18:48.240 --> 0:18:51.240
<v Speaker 1>putting what do you think that they're putting it on?

0:18:51.800 --> 0:18:52.840
<v Speaker 1>Put put putting it in.

0:18:53.560 --> 0:18:56.080
<v Speaker 5>Right menstrual food? I don't know.

0:18:58.520 --> 0:19:00.000
<v Speaker 1>Can I ask you this? I don't think I asked

0:19:00.160 --> 0:19:04.120
<v Speaker 1>this question. What's your name again? Dane? Dane? What do

0:19:04.160 --> 0:19:10.680
<v Speaker 1>you hope they're doing with them?

0:19:10.960 --> 0:19:14.000
<v Speaker 5>You know, right after I picked him up from the vet,

0:19:15.000 --> 0:19:17.880
<v Speaker 5>you have to look in his eyes like he knew

0:19:17.880 --> 0:19:20.960
<v Speaker 5>what I had done to him? Now like this look

0:19:21.000 --> 0:19:29.120
<v Speaker 5>at disappointment. What do I hope? I hope that they

0:19:29.119 --> 0:19:31.880
<v Speaker 5>don't go to absolute waste? I mean he was using them.

0:19:32.960 --> 0:19:38.040
<v Speaker 1>Okay, all right, so you so you hope that they

0:19:38.080 --> 0:19:40.520
<v Speaker 1>do do something with your dog's balls, like put them

0:19:40.520 --> 0:19:43.159
<v Speaker 1>in a face cream or a soup, just so that

0:19:43.240 --> 0:19:44.159
<v Speaker 1>they don't go to waste.

0:19:47.840 --> 0:19:53.479
<v Speaker 5>I wish we didn't, you know, fool around with private

0:19:53.520 --> 0:19:56.760
<v Speaker 5>parks like that. It's all very confusing.

0:19:57.119 --> 0:19:59.640
<v Speaker 1>Well, Dane, I mean Dane, Dane, you took your dog

0:19:59.680 --> 0:20:00.080
<v Speaker 1>to get.

0:20:04.280 --> 0:20:08.280
<v Speaker 5>It's like societal pressures. You know, he can't go to

0:20:08.400 --> 0:20:12.560
<v Speaker 5>dog daycare without with his balls. It's like they require

0:20:12.600 --> 0:20:16.360
<v Speaker 5>his balls in exchange to attend daycare.

0:20:17.040 --> 0:20:18.920
<v Speaker 1>Well, I mean that's the reasonable because if he went

0:20:19.000 --> 0:20:20.840
<v Speaker 1>and he had dog balls, he would just try to

0:20:20.840 --> 0:20:22.600
<v Speaker 1>have sex with all the other dogs.

0:20:23.800 --> 0:20:27.000
<v Speaker 5>But if all the other dogs are stayed, what's the problem.

0:20:27.960 --> 0:20:28.920
<v Speaker 5>You know, it's like a two.

0:20:29.000 --> 0:20:30.640
<v Speaker 1>Well, if all the other dogs are spade, then it's

0:20:30.680 --> 0:20:32.280
<v Speaker 1>not fair for him to not be spared.

0:20:38.119 --> 0:20:43.400
<v Speaker 5>I called the state a spade. But this isn't fair

0:20:43.440 --> 0:20:47.359
<v Speaker 5>at all. You know, Like, imagine if you had a

0:20:47.400 --> 0:20:50.879
<v Speaker 5>misbehaving child. It's not like you would take him to

0:20:50.960 --> 0:20:55.160
<v Speaker 5>the doctor to have his balls cut off in fifth grade.

0:20:55.200 --> 0:20:57.960
<v Speaker 5>I mean fifth graders are monsters, but we don't cut

0:20:58.000 --> 0:20:58.680
<v Speaker 5>their balls off.

0:21:00.760 --> 0:21:01.600
<v Speaker 1>I guess that's true.

0:21:03.440 --> 0:21:11.080
<v Speaker 4>Hm, I feel like I sailed my dog yesterday. You

0:21:11.080 --> 0:21:13.560
<v Speaker 4>should make it up dog.

0:21:15.320 --> 0:21:20.040
<v Speaker 1>You should get him a treaty or hey, I have

0:21:20.080 --> 0:21:22.359
<v Speaker 1>an idea. I have an idea, Dane, Dane, listen before

0:21:22.359 --> 0:21:24.800
<v Speaker 1>we go, I'm gonna throw this side. Okay, Dane, you

0:21:24.800 --> 0:21:29.199
<v Speaker 1>go to a doctor and you say, listen, Doc, I

0:21:29.280 --> 0:21:30.639
<v Speaker 1>know what you guys are doing with the baby fore

0:21:30.720 --> 0:21:32.320
<v Speaker 1>and skins. I know that you're taking the baby fore

0:21:32.359 --> 0:21:35.160
<v Speaker 1>and skins, taking the baby foreskins, and that they grow

0:21:35.320 --> 0:21:37.920
<v Speaker 1>cells and that they can make new forms of life.

0:21:38.640 --> 0:21:43.600
<v Speaker 1>And you say, Doc, I did my dog wrong. I

0:21:43.720 --> 0:21:47.199
<v Speaker 1>fucked up. I took away his balls. And you know

0:21:47.200 --> 0:21:51.320
<v Speaker 1>what I'm gonna do, Doc, I want to give my

0:21:51.720 --> 0:21:57.200
<v Speaker 1>own balls to the dog. And you have the doctor

0:21:58.040 --> 0:22:02.600
<v Speaker 1>put you under anesthetic, cut off your balls, and graft

0:22:02.680 --> 0:22:04.000
<v Speaker 1>them onto your dog.

0:22:09.280 --> 0:22:11.479
<v Speaker 5>That's just the advice I was looking for.

0:22:15.200 --> 0:22:16.159
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for calling Dan.

0:22:19.200 --> 0:22:19.840
<v Speaker 5>Good night love.

0:22:21.520 --> 0:22:23.880
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I described a fantasy that he has

0:22:23.880 --> 0:22:26.200
<v Speaker 1>had for a long time. I'm not going to get

0:22:26.240 --> 0:22:37.439
<v Speaker 1>into it any further. I have no jurisdiction over what

0:22:37.480 --> 0:22:42.080
<v Speaker 1>people do in their own minds. I am simply a

0:22:42.119 --> 0:22:46.479
<v Speaker 1>gecko on the internet. Hello, Hi Dan. It says here

0:22:46.520 --> 0:22:52.240
<v Speaker 1>that you you work at Arby's and you're stressed out

0:22:52.240 --> 0:22:52.560
<v Speaker 1>a lot.

0:22:56.400 --> 0:22:57.919
<v Speaker 3>I do, in fact work at Arby's.

0:22:57.960 --> 0:23:02.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so what's what? What's what's stressing you out about

0:23:02.400 --> 0:23:03.720
<v Speaker 1>working at Arby's.

0:23:07.440 --> 0:23:11.399
<v Speaker 3>I'm not a very sociable person. Honestly. Whenever I first

0:23:11.440 --> 0:23:16.120
<v Speaker 3>got hired at said Arby's, I was not in charge

0:23:16.440 --> 0:23:22.760
<v Speaker 3>of any customer interaction, but eventually I worked up the

0:23:22.760 --> 0:23:26.240
<v Speaker 3>courage to ask my manager like, Hey, can I can

0:23:26.280 --> 0:23:30.800
<v Speaker 3>I train to take orders, give people their food, smile

0:23:30.880 --> 0:23:34.359
<v Speaker 3>and wave all that, you know, happy service with a smile,

0:23:34.520 --> 0:23:46.080
<v Speaker 3>customer service stuff. M yeah, so I've done that. I've

0:23:46.119 --> 0:23:49.479
<v Speaker 3>been doing that for a while and overall it's it's

0:23:49.520 --> 0:23:54.600
<v Speaker 3>a pretty good gig. I make not great money, but

0:23:54.960 --> 0:24:00.679
<v Speaker 3>I'm comfortable where I'm at. But it's just certain customers

0:24:00.720 --> 0:24:04.280
<v Speaker 3>can be a little bit over demanding, you know.

0:24:05.040 --> 0:24:08.280
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so you had a little bit of social anxiety

0:24:08.440 --> 0:24:10.359
<v Speaker 1>You're working in the back, and then you were like,

0:24:10.359 --> 0:24:13.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna face my fears go up to the front.

0:24:14.960 --> 0:24:16.120
<v Speaker 3>Definitely, definitely.

0:24:16.200 --> 0:24:22.840
<v Speaker 1>Okay, So these customers that are that are rude to you?

0:24:22.880 --> 0:24:26.000
<v Speaker 1>What give me some examples of some of the interactions

0:24:26.040 --> 0:24:26.639
<v Speaker 1>you've been having.

0:24:29.760 --> 0:24:33.960
<v Speaker 3>Well, for the most part, people here at my local

0:24:34.080 --> 0:24:40.640
<v Speaker 3>Arby's are very polite, very you know, accepting of any shorthandedness,

0:24:40.680 --> 0:24:45.000
<v Speaker 3>slow service. You know, we might not have like the

0:24:45.080 --> 0:24:48.720
<v Speaker 3>meats that you desired, we might not have your favorite

0:24:48.920 --> 0:24:54.480
<v Speaker 3>uh side order like we have. We have monster rellistics

0:24:54.480 --> 0:24:58.160
<v Speaker 3>and people love our Monterrellistics. I for one. I think

0:24:58.200 --> 0:25:01.960
<v Speaker 3>they're okay, they're not the It's monster relsticks, but we've

0:25:02.000 --> 0:25:06.280
<v Speaker 3>had people get like very angry if we were ever

0:25:06.359 --> 0:25:13.399
<v Speaker 3>out of them. But overall, the customers are nice, but

0:25:13.680 --> 0:25:18.679
<v Speaker 3>there can be people who are just kind of assholes

0:25:20.000 --> 0:25:27.679
<v Speaker 3>just through and through, Like well, for example, mister Gecko,

0:25:30.200 --> 0:25:34.679
<v Speaker 3>this one lady came through the drive through. Because nowadays

0:25:34.720 --> 0:25:37.840
<v Speaker 3>I am in drive through, taking orders, cashing people out,

0:25:37.880 --> 0:25:40.679
<v Speaker 3>handing their food through the window, trying to get it

0:25:40.680 --> 0:25:42.679
<v Speaker 3>done as speedy as possible. This lady comes through my

0:25:42.720 --> 0:25:48.280
<v Speaker 3>speaker and she starts asking like, do you have chopped chicken?

0:25:50.040 --> 0:25:52.160
<v Speaker 3>I had no idea what she meant by this, so

0:25:52.240 --> 0:25:56.119
<v Speaker 3>I asked her like, do you mean our roasted chicken?

0:25:56.160 --> 0:25:58.960
<v Speaker 3>Do you mean chicken tenders? Do you mean chicken nuggets?

0:25:59.640 --> 0:26:04.040
<v Speaker 3>But she was very adamant about it being chopped chicken.

0:26:04.720 --> 0:26:07.880
<v Speaker 3>So I told her, ma'am, I do not have anything

0:26:08.040 --> 0:26:11.800
<v Speaker 3>called chopped chicken on my menu. Would you like to

0:26:11.840 --> 0:26:16.720
<v Speaker 3>try anything else that I just offered? And she, in

0:26:18.200 --> 0:26:24.840
<v Speaker 3>typical you know, Ohio fashion, goes You're fucking ignorant and

0:26:25.080 --> 0:26:29.439
<v Speaker 3>just drives off. And I sat there for a minute,

0:26:29.560 --> 0:26:36.480
<v Speaker 3>just absolutely bewildered at how one human being can be

0:26:36.720 --> 0:26:39.080
<v Speaker 3>so awful.

0:26:39.800 --> 0:26:42.639
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, yeah, Well, I mean looks, I mean, listen,

0:26:42.680 --> 0:26:43.720
<v Speaker 1>you have chicken, right.

0:26:44.920 --> 0:26:47.560
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, we have. We had roasted chicken.

0:26:47.640 --> 0:26:50.240
<v Speaker 1>But you and you and you guys had you got

0:26:50.320 --> 0:26:51.200
<v Speaker 1>knives over.

0:26:51.040 --> 0:26:58.359
<v Speaker 3>There, right, yeah we have not we have knives.

0:26:58.760 --> 0:26:59.040
<v Speaker 1>Okay.

0:26:59.160 --> 0:26:59.320
<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

0:26:59.359 --> 0:27:04.919
<v Speaker 1>So I mean theoretically you could take some chicken and

0:27:05.000 --> 0:27:06.200
<v Speaker 1>chop it up and put it in a bowl.

0:27:07.720 --> 0:27:11.080
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, we could. But like at the time, the

0:27:11.119 --> 0:27:13.800
<v Speaker 3>closest thing to what I was assuming that she was

0:27:13.840 --> 0:27:17.680
<v Speaker 3>talking about was a roasted chicken, because it's already pre chopped.

0:27:17.720 --> 0:27:22.120
<v Speaker 3>You know, it's already in like these little morsel bites

0:27:22.480 --> 0:27:24.000
<v Speaker 3>that you can just pop in your mouth if you

0:27:24.119 --> 0:27:24.560
<v Speaker 3>really want to.

0:27:25.280 --> 0:27:27.040
<v Speaker 1>All right, So I mean so I said, look, so

0:27:27.080 --> 0:27:31.600
<v Speaker 1>you did have chopped chicken. Yes, all right, So this

0:27:31.680 --> 0:27:33.119
<v Speaker 1>was all just a big misunderstanding.

0:27:34.440 --> 0:27:38.280
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but that's that's that's the worst part of it.

0:27:38.320 --> 0:27:42.160
<v Speaker 3>Most of it is misunderstanding. But like, yeah, no matter

0:27:42.160 --> 0:27:46.600
<v Speaker 3>how polite you try to be to certain customers, it's always,

0:27:46.920 --> 0:27:50.320
<v Speaker 3>at the end of the day, your fault. Like, yeah,

0:27:51.200 --> 0:27:55.760
<v Speaker 3>I had this one dude. Who if you get food

0:27:55.880 --> 0:27:59.040
<v Speaker 3>from inside of the store and you're carrying it out,

0:27:59.240 --> 0:28:03.440
<v Speaker 3>typically there is no tax except for that rare occasion

0:28:03.440 --> 0:28:06.439
<v Speaker 3>where there is, because there's like beverage taxes and sugar

0:28:06.480 --> 0:28:10.720
<v Speaker 3>taxes and stuff like that. You know. So this guy

0:28:10.760 --> 0:28:13.520
<v Speaker 3>comes through my drive through and he says he gets

0:28:13.520 --> 0:28:16.960
<v Speaker 3>his order, and I tell him it's total, and he

0:28:17.080 --> 0:28:20.160
<v Speaker 3>starts going off on me, like he starts yelling at

0:28:20.160 --> 0:28:23.760
<v Speaker 3>me about how I'm wrong, and I tell him, like, sir,

0:28:25.320 --> 0:28:30.320
<v Speaker 3>the sandwich you ordered, Sure, the price is listed differently

0:28:30.320 --> 0:28:32.879
<v Speaker 3>than what I told you, but that is for a small.

0:28:33.400 --> 0:28:36.120
<v Speaker 3>Our prices listed are for smalls we have.

0:28:37.760 --> 0:28:47.200
<v Speaker 6>Like the You know, look, I think, can I see

0:28:47.200 --> 0:28:48.720
<v Speaker 6>this is tough because I feel I you know, in

0:28:48.760 --> 0:28:50.200
<v Speaker 6>all seriousness, I feel your pain.

0:28:50.280 --> 0:28:55.600
<v Speaker 1>Man. It's hard to deal with, you know, people who

0:28:55.640 --> 0:29:01.120
<v Speaker 1>are who are aggravating. It's difficult. But at the end

0:29:01.120 --> 0:29:05.040
<v Speaker 1>of the day, you just gotta sit back and uh

0:29:06.160 --> 0:29:12.240
<v Speaker 1>laugh at how funny it is for somebody to get

0:29:12.440 --> 0:29:17.240
<v Speaker 1>really upset about chopped chicken and these people, these people

0:29:17.640 --> 0:29:21.000
<v Speaker 1>Dan just I don't and I and I listen. You're

0:29:22.000 --> 0:29:25.360
<v Speaker 1>you did nothing wrong, and you're upset because everyone is

0:29:25.400 --> 0:29:27.600
<v Speaker 1>making you feel like you you did. You didn't do

0:29:27.640 --> 0:29:31.960
<v Speaker 1>anything wrong, You didn't do anything even remotely wrong, but

0:29:32.160 --> 0:29:36.160
<v Speaker 1>you're you're you're dealing with this person who lives in

0:29:36.200 --> 0:29:41.080
<v Speaker 1>a universe where it is justifiable to get upset about

0:29:41.200 --> 0:29:46.600
<v Speaker 1>chopped chicken. And what you don't want to do. What

0:29:46.680 --> 0:29:50.080
<v Speaker 1>you don't want to do is let this person drag

0:29:50.200 --> 0:29:54.080
<v Speaker 1>you into her universe, because the longer you take that

0:29:54.200 --> 0:29:58.000
<v Speaker 1>with you, it's like, this person's upset about chopped chicken,

0:29:58.080 --> 0:30:00.600
<v Speaker 1>and then you're upset that she's upset about chick chop chicken.

0:30:00.920 --> 0:30:03.480
<v Speaker 1>And then all of a sudden, you're upset about chopped chicken,

0:30:03.960 --> 0:30:08.080
<v Speaker 1>and without even realizing it, you've been pulled into the

0:30:08.200 --> 0:30:12.800
<v Speaker 1>chopped chicken universe. And I just I just want you to,

0:30:14.360 --> 0:30:22.000
<v Speaker 1>as you deal with all this stuff, be intentional about

0:30:22.800 --> 0:30:27.760
<v Speaker 1>where you find your anger going and try to steer

0:30:27.800 --> 0:30:31.280
<v Speaker 1>it away from the chopped chicken universe, because it's not

0:30:31.360 --> 0:30:36.840
<v Speaker 1>a good place for anyone to be in. Yeah, because

0:30:36.840 --> 0:30:39.640
<v Speaker 1>you could very easily just laugh off this woman, And

0:30:39.720 --> 0:30:42.200
<v Speaker 1>I understand for you, how how how it's like, Okay,

0:30:42.200 --> 0:30:43.880
<v Speaker 1>I can laugh this off. But if it's just a

0:30:43.960 --> 0:30:51.040
<v Speaker 1>relentless sea of constant, non stopped chopped chicken people, how

0:30:51.080 --> 0:30:53.640
<v Speaker 1>it could be easy to get pulled into their universe

0:30:53.800 --> 0:30:58.040
<v Speaker 1>of anger. But you're You're better than that. Dan, You're

0:30:58.120 --> 0:31:03.719
<v Speaker 1>You're I I really feel like you are. So if

0:31:03.720 --> 0:31:07.959
<v Speaker 1>there's a way for you to to be more mindful

0:31:08.080 --> 0:31:12.560
<v Speaker 1>of where you're letting your anger go and not let

0:31:12.600 --> 0:31:16.520
<v Speaker 1>it get dragged around and really take hold of it

0:31:16.560 --> 0:31:21.040
<v Speaker 1>and use it intentionally for places where it matters, I

0:31:21.120 --> 0:31:25.840
<v Speaker 1>feel like you would be happier. But also, you know,

0:31:25.880 --> 0:31:28.200
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to be dismissive of you and how

0:31:28.240 --> 0:31:30.680
<v Speaker 1>you feel, so I mean, tell me what you think

0:31:30.720 --> 0:31:31.080
<v Speaker 1>of all that.

0:31:34.000 --> 0:31:37.560
<v Speaker 3>At the end of the day, I feel more or

0:31:37.640 --> 0:31:41.480
<v Speaker 3>less the same way you do, geckos Or, because I

0:31:42.080 --> 0:31:47.040
<v Speaker 3>did end up laughing at just the sheer absurdity of

0:31:47.240 --> 0:31:54.040
<v Speaker 3>this woman who is claims to have been able to

0:31:54.120 --> 0:31:59.520
<v Speaker 3>order her chopped chicken. But I also feel like there's

0:31:59.560 --> 0:32:08.960
<v Speaker 3>not enough people in this world that are genuinely polite

0:32:09.320 --> 0:32:16.680
<v Speaker 3>and understanding towards fast food workers, because it's a job

0:32:16.800 --> 0:32:22.200
<v Speaker 3>that many people view as like many many layers beneath them.

0:32:22.360 --> 0:32:26.680
<v Speaker 3>So it's just like in their minds, fast food workers

0:32:27.040 --> 0:32:27.880
<v Speaker 3>are not people.

0:32:28.400 --> 0:32:31.480
<v Speaker 1>Can I ask you a question and you would know

0:32:31.520 --> 0:32:37.959
<v Speaker 1>this and I from experience, are most people the majority

0:32:38.000 --> 0:32:49.880
<v Speaker 1>of people that come through decently pleasant, Yes, Okay, good, good,

0:32:50.760 --> 0:32:52.760
<v Speaker 1>But it's just every now and then, and please don't

0:32:52.840 --> 0:32:54.360
<v Speaker 1>let me put words in your mouth, stop me if

0:32:54.400 --> 0:32:58.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm wrong. It is. It just kind of a every

0:32:58.480 --> 0:33:02.200
<v Speaker 1>once in a while you will encounter a chops chicken person.

0:33:04.560 --> 0:33:11.640
<v Speaker 7>Absolutely absolutely, Okay, okay, okay, And I'm just saying, if

0:33:11.960 --> 0:33:14.800
<v Speaker 7>that is true, and do you tell police, Tell me

0:33:14.800 --> 0:33:17.360
<v Speaker 7>if it's not, if you've had a different experience, but

0:33:17.440 --> 0:33:19.880
<v Speaker 7>if that's true, for just for.

0:33:19.800 --> 0:33:24.880
<v Speaker 1>Your own sake, not because they deserve it or whatever,

0:33:25.360 --> 0:33:30.800
<v Speaker 1>but just for your own sake, don't let people drag

0:33:30.880 --> 0:33:34.720
<v Speaker 1>you into the universe where we get upset about chops chicken,

0:33:36.520 --> 0:33:38.960
<v Speaker 1>just for just for your own sake. This is just

0:33:39.440 --> 0:33:43.520
<v Speaker 1>you doing what you can within your power, because you

0:33:43.560 --> 0:33:47.640
<v Speaker 1>can't control other people being pissed off of you and

0:33:47.720 --> 0:33:50.440
<v Speaker 1>other people being upset, but you can control whether or

0:33:50.480 --> 0:33:55.200
<v Speaker 1>not you allow them to rattle you. And I hope

0:33:55.200 --> 0:34:04.240
<v Speaker 1>you take pride in not letting that rattle you, because

0:34:04.280 --> 0:34:06.680
<v Speaker 1>it's a skill. A lot of people can be very

0:34:06.720 --> 0:34:11.000
<v Speaker 1>easily dragged into the universe of this fucking person said

0:34:11.040 --> 0:34:12.839
<v Speaker 1>this fucking thing to me, and that fucking fuck them,

0:34:12.840 --> 0:34:17.480
<v Speaker 1>and then they're like that just overpowers their thoughts and

0:34:17.520 --> 0:34:20.360
<v Speaker 1>then all of a sudden, this this person has power

0:34:20.400 --> 0:34:24.839
<v Speaker 1>over you because of that, and you you just got

0:34:24.840 --> 0:34:29.120
<v Speaker 1>to let that go for no reason other than it'll

0:34:29.120 --> 0:34:32.160
<v Speaker 1>make you feel better while you're doing your job.

0:34:34.160 --> 0:34:34.640
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

0:34:35.120 --> 0:34:38.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, does that resonate with you? I want to be

0:34:38.560 --> 0:34:42.000
<v Speaker 1>respectful of how you're feeling in this, and I'm not

0:34:42.040 --> 0:34:44.120
<v Speaker 1>trying to tell you that you are you know whatever,

0:34:44.160 --> 0:34:50.440
<v Speaker 1>the justification of your feelings, but just is this okay good?

0:34:50.840 --> 0:34:54.200
<v Speaker 1>Does this feel? Does this resonate with.

0:34:54.200 --> 0:35:03.320
<v Speaker 3>You a little bit? Yeah? I'm not particularly confrontal person

0:35:04.239 --> 0:35:10.400
<v Speaker 3>in all In all honesty, I hate confrontation in almost

0:35:10.440 --> 0:35:15.600
<v Speaker 3>any form. Sure, I told I told a story to

0:35:15.640 --> 0:35:19.120
<v Speaker 3>your assistant. You can ask him if you would like

0:35:19.239 --> 0:35:25.000
<v Speaker 3>further details. But like after after that, my entire body

0:35:25.120 --> 0:35:30.279
<v Speaker 3>just started feeling like numb, like I needed to take

0:35:30.400 --> 0:35:32.840
<v Speaker 3>take a take a nice like ice bath to just

0:35:32.880 --> 0:35:38.160
<v Speaker 3>like calm. Every nerve, every muscle in my body just

0:35:38.360 --> 0:35:42.240
<v Speaker 3>was begging for like we need to shut down. Something

0:35:42.360 --> 0:35:46.560
<v Speaker 3>horrible just happened. It can't it can't get any worse

0:35:46.600 --> 0:35:49.120
<v Speaker 3>than this. But like in my mind I know that

0:35:49.120 --> 0:35:54.240
<v Speaker 3>that's like it's not stupid, Like you should be able

0:35:54.280 --> 0:36:00.040
<v Speaker 3>to express your emotions freely, but like I I, I

0:36:00.120 --> 0:36:02.880
<v Speaker 3>am what a lot of people would consider a dormat

0:36:03.080 --> 0:36:07.080
<v Speaker 3>in most situations, but those very very rare occasions where

0:36:07.120 --> 0:36:10.680
<v Speaker 3>I do stand up for myself, I just feel absolutely

0:36:10.920 --> 0:36:16.640
<v Speaker 3>horrible for the person that I just accosted. And I

0:36:16.680 --> 0:36:19.080
<v Speaker 3>know I shouldn't. I know I shouldn't, but it's just

0:36:19.120 --> 0:36:24.000
<v Speaker 3>like I do not like being a rude person.

0:36:24.680 --> 0:36:26.200
<v Speaker 1>You don't have you don't have to be a rude

0:36:26.800 --> 0:36:28.680
<v Speaker 1>what's your dan, dan? You don't have to be a

0:36:28.760 --> 0:36:33.200
<v Speaker 1>rude person, and you don't have to take your vengeance

0:36:33.360 --> 0:36:38.560
<v Speaker 1>in the form of blowing up at people or accosting them.

0:36:39.120 --> 0:36:41.640
<v Speaker 1>You just have to. I just want you to like

0:36:44.880 --> 0:36:49.680
<v Speaker 1>take some like some form of intentional control over what

0:36:49.719 --> 0:36:55.200
<v Speaker 1>you are going to choose to be upset about. Yeah, yeah,

0:36:55.239 --> 0:36:58.680
<v Speaker 1>for just again, for no reason other than your own

0:36:59.719 --> 0:37:04.960
<v Speaker 1>say so, like you know this, So a person comes

0:37:05.000 --> 0:37:09.080
<v Speaker 1>to you and as an asshole to you, and you're like, fuck,

0:37:09.120 --> 0:37:13.640
<v Speaker 1>I cannot believe that this person was so rude to me,

0:37:14.520 --> 0:37:17.080
<v Speaker 1>And you're like, you're it's you know, it's fucking an

0:37:17.120 --> 0:37:20.680
<v Speaker 1>hour later, two hours later, three hours later, and you're

0:37:20.760 --> 0:37:22.759
<v Speaker 1>still in your head going like I can't believe that

0:37:22.800 --> 0:37:25.160
<v Speaker 1>person fucking said that to me. I should have said

0:37:25.160 --> 0:37:26.600
<v Speaker 1>this back to them. I should have said this that

0:37:26.960 --> 0:37:31.520
<v Speaker 1>at that point, when it's three hours past. Just take

0:37:31.520 --> 0:37:35.200
<v Speaker 1>an objective, Just take an objective look at the situation,

0:37:35.480 --> 0:37:39.440
<v Speaker 1>and go listen. From my own benefit, I need to

0:37:39.480 --> 0:37:44.080
<v Speaker 1>go I can't. You just need to step back and

0:37:44.120 --> 0:37:48.840
<v Speaker 1>be like, I can't let this stew in my brain

0:37:49.560 --> 0:37:52.360
<v Speaker 1>because it's unproductive at this point, and it's distracting me

0:37:52.800 --> 0:37:55.640
<v Speaker 1>from any number of more productive thoughts and feelings I

0:37:55.640 --> 0:38:06.040
<v Speaker 1>could be having and optimize, optimize your emotions for yourself,

0:38:06.880 --> 0:38:10.640
<v Speaker 1>not in some way that you're going to, you know,

0:38:10.840 --> 0:38:13.719
<v Speaker 1>yell back at them to restore some kind of a

0:38:13.800 --> 0:38:17.160
<v Speaker 1>fake balance in the universe that will never get restored.

0:38:17.719 --> 0:38:21.400
<v Speaker 1>But you know, however, you can react in such a

0:38:21.400 --> 0:38:26.000
<v Speaker 1>way that that optimizes your own personal peace, and that

0:38:26.040 --> 0:38:33.360
<v Speaker 1>does not necessarily have to be you accosting people, you, you know, whatever.

0:38:33.520 --> 0:38:36.560
<v Speaker 1>It is, just I would just think in those terms.

0:38:36.719 --> 0:38:37.560
<v Speaker 1>Does that make sense?

0:38:39.520 --> 0:38:45.080
<v Speaker 3>Yeah? Yeah, I feel now that I've now that I've

0:38:45.120 --> 0:38:48.960
<v Speaker 3>shared this and so honestly more publicly than I ever have,

0:38:49.160 --> 0:38:51.880
<v Speaker 3>I feel I feel a lot better.

0:38:53.360 --> 0:38:58.279
<v Speaker 1>Good good, good, Dan. Is there anything else you want

0:38:58.320 --> 0:39:01.719
<v Speaker 1>to say to the people, the computer, or to me,

0:39:02.239 --> 0:39:06.520
<v Speaker 1>or that you feel like you didn't get out, or

0:39:06.560 --> 0:39:07.799
<v Speaker 1>and just anything at all.

0:39:07.840 --> 0:39:12.839
<v Speaker 3>Before we go, I just want to leave one quick

0:39:12.880 --> 0:39:18.440
<v Speaker 3>message and give a shout out to one of my friends.

0:39:19.800 --> 0:39:21.480
<v Speaker 3>The message that I'd like to leave you all with

0:39:21.600 --> 0:39:27.759
<v Speaker 3>today is don't don't don't be assholes. Just be kind

0:39:27.800 --> 0:39:31.240
<v Speaker 3>to one another. Try to find your own happiness. Don't

0:39:32.680 --> 0:39:38.360
<v Speaker 3>don't be the chopped chicken lady of your social circles.

0:39:38.719 --> 0:39:43.279
<v Speaker 3>Be be be a good person, be good people. And

0:39:43.719 --> 0:39:44.919
<v Speaker 3>I'd like to give a shout out.

0:39:45.200 --> 0:39:46.799
<v Speaker 1>Oh yes, you have a shout out, Please shout out.

0:39:46.920 --> 0:39:48.319
<v Speaker 1>I'll stop talking and give you a shout out.

0:39:50.320 --> 0:39:52.680
<v Speaker 3>You find mister Getka. I would like to give a

0:39:52.719 --> 0:39:57.560
<v Speaker 3>shout out to James, somebody that's been a good friend,

0:39:58.280 --> 0:40:05.040
<v Speaker 3>a good shoulder, a good bro for many years. Many years.

0:40:05.080 --> 0:40:09.800
<v Speaker 3>I've helped him and he's helped me. Honestly, I feel

0:40:09.800 --> 0:40:16.880
<v Speaker 3>like more than he knows. Yeah, thank you all, thank you,

0:40:17.560 --> 0:40:18.040
<v Speaker 3>thank you, Dan.

0:40:18.080 --> 0:40:20.959
<v Speaker 1>I'll see you soon, all.

0:40:20.920 --> 0:40:23.560
<v Speaker 3>Right, thank you, mister Rico by twitch.

0:40:25.800 --> 0:40:27.319
<v Speaker 1>I don't know why I said i'll see you soon.

0:40:27.360 --> 0:40:28.759
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if that meant that I'm going to

0:40:28.880 --> 0:40:32.200
<v Speaker 1>RBS soon or if I just said that because that's

0:40:32.200 --> 0:40:33.799
<v Speaker 1>one of the things that people tend to say at

0:40:33.840 --> 0:40:36.239
<v Speaker 1>the end of conversations and I needed to find one

0:40:36.239 --> 0:40:37.920
<v Speaker 1>of those phrases, and then that's the one I found.

0:40:38.000 --> 0:40:42.080
<v Speaker 1>But anyway, you know, listen, I tried to navigate that

0:40:44.960 --> 0:40:49.880
<v Speaker 1>mindfully because I look, I'm I'm playing Devil's Advocate to

0:40:49.920 --> 0:40:53.000
<v Speaker 1>myself all the time of like, you know, people should

0:40:53.000 --> 0:40:54.799
<v Speaker 1>be able to feel their feelings and stuff, and I

0:40:54.840 --> 0:40:57.080
<v Speaker 1>totally agree with that, but I just am like, at

0:40:57.080 --> 0:41:03.520
<v Speaker 1>a certain point, you know, you gotta optimize for what's

0:41:03.560 --> 0:41:06.719
<v Speaker 1>the most productive way for me to feel about this

0:41:06.800 --> 0:41:11.160
<v Speaker 1>situation and go about this situation just for my own peace.

0:41:11.640 --> 0:41:14.600
<v Speaker 1>And sometimes it's not to blow up and chew the

0:41:14.640 --> 0:41:19.840
<v Speaker 1>other person out or to be as mad as you

0:41:19.960 --> 0:41:23.200
<v Speaker 1>possibly can about chopped chicken lady. And here's another thing.

0:41:23.280 --> 0:41:30.240
<v Speaker 1>Chopped chicken Lady is inevitable. She's inevitable. She's people being

0:41:30.480 --> 0:41:37.279
<v Speaker 1>dis or being rude to you is just an inevitable.

0:41:37.280 --> 0:41:40.880
<v Speaker 1>It's like, it's this inevitability of the universe. It's a

0:41:40.960 --> 0:41:45.840
<v Speaker 1>constant and you can't take it personally, and you just

0:41:45.840 --> 0:41:49.879
<v Speaker 1>gotta go, look, fuck, I heard this thing. I'm gonna

0:41:49.880 --> 0:41:52.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna shout out. I'm gonna shout out this guy

0:41:52.520 --> 0:41:57.279
<v Speaker 1>I like on the internet who says stuff. His name

0:41:57.360 --> 0:41:59.759
<v Speaker 1>is Ryan Holliday. He talks a lot about stoic for

0:42:00.880 --> 0:42:04.040
<v Speaker 1>He said this thing that I've been thinking about a lot.

0:42:04.080 --> 0:42:09.120
<v Speaker 1>He said, pay the taxes of life gladly. And I

0:42:09.280 --> 0:42:13.120
<v Speaker 1>liked that. And I feel like dealing with this rude

0:42:13.120 --> 0:42:16.600
<v Speaker 1>people is like a tax of life. It's an inevitable thing,

0:42:17.040 --> 0:42:19.160
<v Speaker 1>and so when it comes upon you, just be like,

0:42:19.360 --> 0:42:24.560
<v Speaker 1>look ninety percent. And I asked Dan about this because

0:42:24.600 --> 0:42:26.959
<v Speaker 1>I wanted him to clarify because I have not worked

0:42:27.000 --> 0:42:29.680
<v Speaker 1>fast food and he has, and so I wanted it

0:42:29.719 --> 0:42:32.200
<v Speaker 1>from his mouth. And he said that ninety percent of

0:42:32.239 --> 0:42:36.239
<v Speaker 1>people that come to him. He didn't say ninety percent,

0:42:36.280 --> 0:42:38.640
<v Speaker 1>but he said a majority. I don't know why I'm

0:42:38.640 --> 0:42:40.480
<v Speaker 1>making up numbers, but anyway, he said a majority of

0:42:40.480 --> 0:42:44.279
<v Speaker 1>people are cool, and it's like the few that are assholes.

0:42:44.680 --> 0:42:47.360
<v Speaker 1>And just to accept that a few people are assholes

0:42:47.440 --> 0:42:49.880
<v Speaker 1>when they come to you, and that it's a constant

0:42:49.880 --> 0:42:54.359
<v Speaker 1>and to nataga personally will make you feel better. And

0:42:54.440 --> 0:42:57.399
<v Speaker 1>if it makes you feel better, then I think that's

0:42:57.400 --> 0:43:00.880
<v Speaker 1>the way you should think about it. I am a

0:43:00.920 --> 0:43:06.080
<v Speaker 1>Gecko on the computer saying words to people. Let's take

0:43:06.080 --> 0:43:17.440
<v Speaker 1>another call. Hello, Hello, Hi, Hi, how are you? Yeah?

0:43:17.320 --> 0:43:20.239
<v Speaker 1>Who am I? Who am I speaking with? Who am

0:43:20.239 --> 0:43:20.960
<v Speaker 1>I speaking with?

0:43:21.360 --> 0:43:23.800
<v Speaker 8>I asked to be anonymous.

0:43:24.800 --> 0:43:32.839
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so I'm gonna call you. I'm gonna call you, Uh, Leanne,

0:43:33.040 --> 0:43:35.279
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna call you. Lead's too much, I'm gonna call you.

0:43:37.480 --> 0:43:39.279
<v Speaker 1>Give me a name, you pick, you pick your name.

0:43:41.200 --> 0:43:44.880
<v Speaker 8>Oh, let's go with like Ava.

0:43:45.120 --> 0:43:47.239
<v Speaker 1>That's cool, right, Ava? Okay? I like that. I was

0:43:47.280 --> 0:43:50.240
<v Speaker 1>trying to think of something short. I feel like Leanne

0:43:50.239 --> 0:43:53.759
<v Speaker 1>has too many syllo Okay, Ava, Hello, what's going on

0:43:53.840 --> 0:43:56.480
<v Speaker 1>with you? What's what's up? Ava?

0:43:56.600 --> 0:43:56.680
<v Speaker 5>Is?

0:43:57.239 --> 0:43:58.440
<v Speaker 1>How are you doing this evening?

0:43:59.880 --> 0:44:03.319
<v Speaker 8>I'm good. I just went to class today and did

0:44:03.320 --> 0:44:05.560
<v Speaker 8>some homework and I saw you were on Twitch and

0:44:05.600 --> 0:44:09.520
<v Speaker 8>I called like right away, Yeah here I am.

0:44:09.560 --> 0:44:13.480
<v Speaker 1>Now is there a thing in particular that you wanted

0:44:13.520 --> 0:44:15.200
<v Speaker 1>to call in to talk about?

0:44:15.800 --> 0:44:18.640
<v Speaker 8>I just turned twenty one, not that long ago, and

0:44:19.120 --> 0:44:21.879
<v Speaker 8>I've kind of like always been into drinking, like kind

0:44:21.880 --> 0:44:23.840
<v Speaker 8>of since I was like eighteen or nineteen, and it

0:44:23.960 --> 0:44:26.560
<v Speaker 8>was kind of like more of a problem more so

0:44:26.719 --> 0:44:29.839
<v Speaker 8>during COVID, I would say, but I got better with it.

0:44:30.040 --> 0:44:32.040
<v Speaker 8>And then once I turned twenty one, I feel like

0:44:32.080 --> 0:44:35.480
<v Speaker 8>I fell into like a bad, like dark twisted spiral

0:44:35.520 --> 0:44:38.920
<v Speaker 8>of like drinking and like going out every weekend. And

0:44:39.280 --> 0:44:41.520
<v Speaker 8>I think it's like I'm just starting to make worse

0:44:41.520 --> 0:44:46.080
<v Speaker 8>and worse decisions every weekend. And I started to like

0:44:46.440 --> 0:44:49.400
<v Speaker 8>dabble with drugs and I don't like doing drugs like

0:44:49.440 --> 0:44:51.600
<v Speaker 8>it's only thing, and it started to scare me because

0:44:51.600 --> 0:44:54.880
<v Speaker 8>that's not me. So I like, I just wake up

0:44:54.920 --> 0:44:58.400
<v Speaker 8>in random guy's beds every weekend and I wake up

0:44:58.440 --> 0:45:00.680
<v Speaker 8>on Sunday and I just I feel like a piece

0:45:00.680 --> 0:45:04.719
<v Speaker 8>of shit and I don't know, like I regret all

0:45:04.719 --> 0:45:07.719
<v Speaker 8>my decisions, Like I know, like on one hand, it's

0:45:07.760 --> 0:45:10.399
<v Speaker 8>like I know I'm twenty one and I'm just having fun.

0:45:10.440 --> 0:45:12.160
<v Speaker 8>But then on the other hand, I feel like I'm

0:45:12.160 --> 0:45:16.160
<v Speaker 8>like letting myself down and like my family down, and

0:45:16.200 --> 0:45:19.399
<v Speaker 8>I just go through this basically same cycle every single

0:45:19.480 --> 0:45:22.319
<v Speaker 8>weekend and like every Sunday when I wake up and

0:45:23.120 --> 0:45:24.680
<v Speaker 8>I don't know, I just feel like I feel like

0:45:24.680 --> 0:45:27.680
<v Speaker 8>I'm kind of disappointing like my parents and like my

0:45:27.760 --> 0:45:29.880
<v Speaker 8>brother in a way, like my brother drinks, but like

0:45:30.360 --> 0:45:32.840
<v Speaker 8>he gives me a lot of shit for it, but

0:45:33.920 --> 0:45:35.800
<v Speaker 8>it wouldn't be a problem. But it's starting to become

0:45:35.840 --> 0:45:39.839
<v Speaker 8>something I look forward to every weekend. Yeah, so it's

0:45:39.920 --> 0:45:42.680
<v Speaker 8>starting to really bug me and make me feel like

0:45:42.719 --> 0:45:44.000
<v Speaker 8>a terrible person kind of.

0:45:45.440 --> 0:45:48.440
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so, uh, the drinking and the partying and everything

0:45:48.480 --> 0:45:50.279
<v Speaker 1>has been going on since you were a teen.

0:45:52.800 --> 0:45:55.920
<v Speaker 8>Yeah, yeah, I mean I didn't really so much. Like

0:45:56.239 --> 0:45:57.680
<v Speaker 8>it wasn't like a ton of partying. It was like,

0:45:57.760 --> 0:45:59.560
<v Speaker 8>especially with COVID, I would just kind of like drink

0:45:59.600 --> 0:46:02.239
<v Speaker 8>with my friend, like at home because okay, we don't

0:46:02.239 --> 0:46:03.279
<v Speaker 8>have to go to we didn't have to go to

0:46:03.320 --> 0:46:04.040
<v Speaker 8>school anymore.

0:46:04.400 --> 0:46:08.759
<v Speaker 1>And you and you're noticing that that since you were

0:46:08.760 --> 0:46:10.120
<v Speaker 1>doing it when you were eighteen, it is it has

0:46:10.160 --> 0:46:15.680
<v Speaker 1>gotten progressively more intense as you've gotten older and as

0:46:15.680 --> 0:46:21.640
<v Speaker 1>you've turned twenty one. Yeah, especially, how how often are

0:46:21.800 --> 0:46:25.320
<v Speaker 1>you going out and partying and drinking?

0:46:27.640 --> 0:46:30.040
<v Speaker 8>It's like every Friday and Saturday night.

0:46:30.920 --> 0:46:36.359
<v Speaker 1>Okay, every Friday and Saturday night. And you you say,

0:46:36.360 --> 0:46:39.040
<v Speaker 1>it's not you, that's what you said.

0:46:41.400 --> 0:46:42.239
<v Speaker 8>What do you mean not me?

0:46:43.080 --> 0:46:45.520
<v Speaker 1>Isn't that what you said? You said? Yeah, you said

0:46:45.560 --> 0:46:47.600
<v Speaker 1>it's not like you, or or something to the to

0:46:47.640 --> 0:46:49.400
<v Speaker 1>the tune of it's not how you want to be.

0:46:51.560 --> 0:46:53.160
<v Speaker 8>Well, it's like I have a like I have a

0:46:53.160 --> 0:46:54.719
<v Speaker 8>good time doing it. I think it's because I have

0:46:54.719 --> 0:46:57.040
<v Speaker 8>so much anxiety. Like once I have a few drinks

0:46:57.040 --> 0:46:59.120
<v Speaker 8>in me, like I just you know, I think everybody

0:46:59.160 --> 0:47:02.040
<v Speaker 8>can relate. Like I feel good and like I feel better,

0:47:02.120 --> 0:47:04.719
<v Speaker 8>but like I wake up the next morning and I

0:47:04.800 --> 0:47:08.080
<v Speaker 8>just like like reflect on myself and I'm just like,

0:47:08.080 --> 0:47:10.239
<v Speaker 8>like the decisions I made, like how much I drink,

0:47:10.320 --> 0:47:13.719
<v Speaker 8>the things like texted people and like that, not you,

0:47:14.440 --> 0:47:16.759
<v Speaker 8>And I just like I feel like it's not like

0:47:17.480 --> 0:47:22.200
<v Speaker 8>the me I resonate with one hund and I just

0:47:22.480 --> 0:47:25.080
<v Speaker 8>feel like shit. And then to like make myself feel better,

0:47:25.120 --> 0:47:27.160
<v Speaker 8>I'll just like drink again not think about it, but

0:47:27.160 --> 0:47:29.320
<v Speaker 8>then I'll feel the same way the next day.

0:47:29.480 --> 0:47:32.440
<v Speaker 1>So you're hearing it. So I mean I asked you

0:47:32.520 --> 0:47:37.200
<v Speaker 1>that because you're talking about this like cognitive dissonance between

0:47:38.560 --> 0:47:41.240
<v Speaker 1>who you desire to be, who you feel like you are,

0:47:41.960 --> 0:47:45.239
<v Speaker 1>and then who you feel like you are when you're

0:47:45.280 --> 0:47:48.840
<v Speaker 1>out drinking and texting people things that you you feel

0:47:48.840 --> 0:47:52.000
<v Speaker 1>like you shouldn't be texting them. Would tell me more

0:47:52.239 --> 0:47:57.880
<v Speaker 1>about this more ideal version of yourself that you have

0:47:58.000 --> 0:48:00.359
<v Speaker 1>in mind.

0:48:00.800 --> 0:48:03.359
<v Speaker 8>I feel like I feel like the most ideal version

0:48:03.400 --> 0:48:06.000
<v Speaker 8>of myself was me like five months ago. Like I

0:48:06.040 --> 0:48:09.720
<v Speaker 8>went through a period of me like consistently going to therapy,

0:48:09.840 --> 0:48:11.480
<v Speaker 8>like I was going to the gym, I was going

0:48:11.520 --> 0:48:13.920
<v Speaker 8>to church and like eating right like I lost this

0:48:14.000 --> 0:48:16.480
<v Speaker 8>kind of weight, Like I was doing great, and then

0:48:16.520 --> 0:48:19.360
<v Speaker 8>I fell off when I got sick, like I got COVID.

0:48:19.600 --> 0:48:21.320
<v Speaker 8>So then you know, like I wasn't really eating or

0:48:21.600 --> 0:48:24.040
<v Speaker 8>couldn't go to the gym for a while, and instead

0:48:24.080 --> 0:48:26.200
<v Speaker 8>of like just getting right back on it, I just

0:48:26.560 --> 0:48:29.560
<v Speaker 8>fell off. So I started kind of like slowly getting

0:48:29.600 --> 0:48:31.840
<v Speaker 8>into those like drinking habits again and just like eating

0:48:31.880 --> 0:48:35.560
<v Speaker 8>like shit and not being my best self. So like

0:48:35.640 --> 0:48:37.960
<v Speaker 8>I know like what my best self looks like and

0:48:38.000 --> 0:48:39.960
<v Speaker 8>what I need to do to get there. But it's like,

0:48:40.520 --> 0:48:42.640
<v Speaker 8>since I'm in this phase of like going out and

0:48:42.719 --> 0:48:44.600
<v Speaker 8>just having fun and being able to go out and

0:48:44.640 --> 0:48:48.200
<v Speaker 8>do that, like I don't want to stop. But like, so,

0:48:48.520 --> 0:48:50.280
<v Speaker 8>like you said, the ideal version, Sorry.

0:48:50.320 --> 0:48:51.560
<v Speaker 1>So you I mean you told me you were going

0:48:51.600 --> 0:48:53.080
<v Speaker 1>to therapy for a little bit.

0:48:54.920 --> 0:48:57.640
<v Speaker 8>Oh yeah, I had a Really here's the thing. I

0:48:57.640 --> 0:49:00.520
<v Speaker 8>have a wonderful therapist. I've seen her for like a year,

0:49:00.560 --> 0:49:02.839
<v Speaker 8>but she got into legal trouble, so I haven't been

0:49:02.840 --> 0:49:04.200
<v Speaker 8>able to see her for a few months.

0:49:04.560 --> 0:49:08.600
<v Speaker 1>Oh geez, well, I mean I mean that aside when

0:49:08.600 --> 0:49:12.319
<v Speaker 1>you were going to therapy, What did you discuss these

0:49:12.400 --> 0:49:14.319
<v Speaker 1>kinds of issues with your therapist? And if you did,

0:49:14.320 --> 0:49:15.359
<v Speaker 1>what do they tell you about it?

0:49:18.200 --> 0:49:18.399
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

0:49:18.440 --> 0:49:20.920
<v Speaker 8>I did, And like I don't know if anybody else,

0:49:20.960 --> 0:49:24.080
<v Speaker 8>like anybody that's listening has gone like like your surface

0:49:24.120 --> 0:49:26.719
<v Speaker 8>will kind of tell you things without like they'll try

0:49:26.760 --> 0:49:28.040
<v Speaker 8>to like tell you the right things, but they want

0:49:28.080 --> 0:49:29.839
<v Speaker 8>you to like figure it out on your own, so

0:49:29.880 --> 0:49:31.560
<v Speaker 8>like they're not gonna like she wouldn't like sit there

0:49:31.560 --> 0:49:34.000
<v Speaker 8>and tell me like, hey, here's what you should do.

0:49:34.120 --> 0:49:36.399
<v Speaker 1>Well, well give me okay. So she's telling you things

0:49:36.400 --> 0:49:38.040
<v Speaker 1>to help you try to figure it out on your own.

0:49:38.080 --> 0:49:42.279
<v Speaker 1>Tell us what what those things are shed.

0:49:42.239 --> 0:49:46.239
<v Speaker 8>She'd kind of. I think I like do it as

0:49:46.239 --> 0:49:49.719
<v Speaker 8>a way to just like like escape my anxiety and

0:49:49.800 --> 0:49:54.319
<v Speaker 8>like get attention, especially from guys and stuff. And you know,

0:49:54.360 --> 0:49:56.759
<v Speaker 8>it's it's of course easier to do that after you've

0:49:56.920 --> 0:49:58.640
<v Speaker 8>had a few drinks in you. So I feel like

0:49:58.680 --> 0:50:05.200
<v Speaker 8>I use it kind of as almost like Okay.

0:50:06.160 --> 0:50:09.799
<v Speaker 1>So you're you're seeing you're seeing it as a way

0:50:09.840 --> 0:50:16.520
<v Speaker 1>to escape anxiety and get attention. Yeah, so what what

0:50:16.560 --> 0:50:18.640
<v Speaker 1>do you this anxiety that you're escaping? What do you

0:50:18.640 --> 0:50:20.680
<v Speaker 1>what do you think you're anxious about?

0:50:23.400 --> 0:50:26.480
<v Speaker 8>It's like like from therapy, Like I know, it's like

0:50:26.840 --> 0:50:32.439
<v Speaker 8>anxiety from like my family and schools aig stressor right now? Yeah,

0:50:32.680 --> 0:50:35.359
<v Speaker 8>and like money and stuff And even though I don't

0:50:35.360 --> 0:50:37.840
<v Speaker 8>have money, like I just continue to go out and

0:50:37.880 --> 0:50:38.960
<v Speaker 8>get drinks from guys and.

0:50:38.960 --> 0:50:44.359
<v Speaker 1>Stuff like just because listen, you know, I'm I'm I'm

0:50:44.360 --> 0:50:47.000
<v Speaker 1>obviously not a real therapist, but I do feel like

0:50:49.200 --> 0:50:51.320
<v Speaker 1>you know, you you talking about these things in therapy

0:50:51.360 --> 0:50:54.640
<v Speaker 1>and exploring the kind of underlying reasons as to why

0:50:54.680 --> 0:51:00.080
<v Speaker 1>you do things could key you in is to like, Okay, well,

0:51:00.120 --> 0:51:03.880
<v Speaker 1>if I'm anxious or if I want attention, first of all,

0:51:03.920 --> 0:51:06.640
<v Speaker 1>why am I anxious? Why am I Why do I

0:51:06.640 --> 0:51:09.000
<v Speaker 1>want attention? And then second of all, are there healthier

0:51:09.040 --> 0:51:14.160
<v Speaker 1>ways to deal with that anxiety and that need for

0:51:14.200 --> 0:51:21.200
<v Speaker 1>attention then you know, to to get twisted? M hmm,

0:51:23.320 --> 0:51:25.280
<v Speaker 1>And I don't I don't know. I feel like that's

0:51:25.280 --> 0:51:28.600
<v Speaker 1>the kind of thing that that they tell you about

0:51:28.600 --> 0:51:31.080
<v Speaker 1>this stuff. So I mean, if we can get into it.

0:51:32.120 --> 0:51:37.919
<v Speaker 1>What other ways do you feel like you could deal

0:51:38.000 --> 0:51:39.040
<v Speaker 1>with your anxiety?

0:51:41.960 --> 0:51:44.120
<v Speaker 8>Like, honestly, I know as cliches, it sounds like when

0:51:44.200 --> 0:51:46.239
<v Speaker 8>I was going to the gym and like taking care

0:51:46.239 --> 0:51:48.759
<v Speaker 8>of myself and like what I ate, Like I was

0:51:49.120 --> 0:51:51.960
<v Speaker 8>so like mentally I felt like the best that I

0:51:52.040 --> 0:51:55.560
<v Speaker 8>had in a really long time, and going to therapy

0:51:55.600 --> 0:51:59.160
<v Speaker 8>consistently really helped. But like I was so comfortable with

0:51:59.200 --> 0:52:01.400
<v Speaker 8>her and like she knew everything about me, so like

0:52:01.760 --> 0:52:04.520
<v Speaker 8>trying to find another one and like convey all my

0:52:04.960 --> 0:52:10.399
<v Speaker 8>like issues in my life and every it's a whole thing,

0:52:10.480 --> 0:52:12.680
<v Speaker 8>you know, And it's more money, which I don't have

0:52:12.760 --> 0:52:14.520
<v Speaker 8>right now because I'm in college, and it's just like

0:52:15.520 --> 0:52:17.399
<v Speaker 8>so it's like I know the steps to get there.

0:52:17.880 --> 0:52:20.680
<v Speaker 8>It's just a matter of like taking those steps.

0:52:21.400 --> 0:52:25.120
<v Speaker 1>What about what about the attention thing?

0:52:25.160 --> 0:52:25.359
<v Speaker 3>Why?

0:52:25.440 --> 0:52:30.360
<v Speaker 1>Why do you feel like you're your clamoring for attention

0:52:30.520 --> 0:52:31.120
<v Speaker 1>from people?

0:52:33.800 --> 0:52:37.879
<v Speaker 8>Probably gotty issues. I've talked about that in therapy too,

0:52:38.800 --> 0:52:40.759
<v Speaker 8>and it's like I realize it, but it's like I

0:52:40.800 --> 0:52:41.560
<v Speaker 8>don't know what to do.

0:52:41.560 --> 0:52:44.640
<v Speaker 1>To fix it. What what is your therapist tell you

0:52:44.760 --> 0:52:46.440
<v Speaker 1>about about those issues?

0:52:49.120 --> 0:52:53.080
<v Speaker 8>She's so kind of shell like explain it like she'll like,

0:52:53.640 --> 0:52:56.840
<v Speaker 8>when I make these decisions, she'll tell me, she's like, well, like,

0:52:57.520 --> 0:53:00.880
<v Speaker 8>so this is why you're doing this, most likely because

0:53:01.280 --> 0:53:04.239
<v Speaker 8>as you were like raised, your dad acted this way

0:53:04.280 --> 0:53:08.160
<v Speaker 8>blah blah blah. Huh, and but I don't know how

0:53:08.239 --> 0:53:10.439
<v Speaker 8>to really like like she'll tell me why, but it's

0:53:10.480 --> 0:53:11.000
<v Speaker 8>like I don't.

0:53:11.719 --> 0:53:13.160
<v Speaker 1>But it's like I don't know what to do with

0:53:13.200 --> 0:53:13.960
<v Speaker 1>this information.

0:53:15.280 --> 0:53:17.000
<v Speaker 8>Yeah, it's like I'm hearing you, but it's like what

0:53:17.040 --> 0:53:21.600
<v Speaker 8>do I what do I do to get that validation

0:53:21.719 --> 0:53:25.319
<v Speaker 8>and that like by not acting like I look not.

0:53:25.239 --> 0:53:28.359
<v Speaker 1>To not to play therapist, although I guess that's what

0:53:28.360 --> 0:53:34.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm always doing all the time. But this like need

0:53:34.280 --> 0:53:36.799
<v Speaker 1>for attention, does it come from any any kind of

0:53:36.840 --> 0:53:41.760
<v Speaker 1>like a low self esteem?

0:53:41.880 --> 0:53:49.880
<v Speaker 8>M I don't. It might, but it's like and this

0:53:50.000 --> 0:53:51.560
<v Speaker 8>might sound like self centered, but like I don't have

0:53:51.600 --> 0:53:55.040
<v Speaker 8>a problem like getting attention from guys like if I

0:53:55.120 --> 0:53:57.799
<v Speaker 8>want it. So it's like I don't know why I

0:53:57.880 --> 0:54:01.279
<v Speaker 8>go out of my way to like get more and more.

0:54:01.960 --> 0:54:04.319
<v Speaker 1>I mean, do you feel like you're do you feel

0:54:04.320 --> 0:54:05.840
<v Speaker 1>like you're addicted to the validation?

0:54:08.000 --> 0:54:08.400
<v Speaker 5>Yes?

0:54:09.560 --> 0:54:15.160
<v Speaker 1>Uh yeah, it make sure yeah, yeah, I mean you

0:54:15.239 --> 0:54:18.000
<v Speaker 1>know that's a common thing for a lot of people

0:54:18.040 --> 0:54:22.720
<v Speaker 1>getting addicted to kind of outside validation in my personal life.

0:54:22.800 --> 0:54:26.399
<v Speaker 1>You know, I've I've had plenty of eras where I've

0:54:26.400 --> 0:54:32.959
<v Speaker 1>been addicted to you know, validation, and it's I found

0:54:33.000 --> 0:54:36.919
<v Speaker 1>it gets better when you try to form some kind

0:54:37.000 --> 0:54:42.480
<v Speaker 1>of your best off your best defense against that is

0:54:42.520 --> 0:54:49.040
<v Speaker 1>to build some kind of internal structure of self validation.

0:54:49.239 --> 0:54:51.040
<v Speaker 1>It's something I feel like we've talked about on here

0:54:51.440 --> 0:54:54.400
<v Speaker 1>a lot, and something that I'm always, always, always, always

0:54:54.400 --> 0:55:00.120
<v Speaker 1>thinking about just in real life and ship. I I

0:55:00.160 --> 0:55:04.400
<v Speaker 1>don't I don't have a I don't have a set

0:55:04.560 --> 0:55:07.680
<v Speaker 1>in stone road map on how to do that, but

0:55:07.840 --> 0:55:10.080
<v Speaker 1>I know that if, if, if that's one of the

0:55:10.080 --> 0:55:14.080
<v Speaker 1>big issues you're struggling with, then you you kind of

0:55:14.239 --> 0:55:17.640
<v Speaker 1>would would would likely benefit from walking down the road

0:55:17.680 --> 0:55:22.319
<v Speaker 1>of at least attempting to do that. Because if if

0:55:22.320 --> 0:55:26.840
<v Speaker 1>you don't have any kind of internal validation or or

0:55:27.640 --> 0:55:33.040
<v Speaker 1>sense of self or understanding of yourself as a certain

0:55:33.160 --> 0:55:39.480
<v Speaker 1>kind of person that you can be proud of, then

0:55:39.520 --> 0:55:42.759
<v Speaker 1>you're just gonna get fucking jostled around by the chaotic

0:55:42.880 --> 0:55:47.759
<v Speaker 1>winds of other people's opinions and validations. Which is is uh,

0:55:48.400 --> 0:55:57.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, a a hard way to live. Yeah, sure,

0:55:58.480 --> 0:56:01.000
<v Speaker 1>so I guess I guess those two things, the building

0:56:01.719 --> 0:56:05.920
<v Speaker 1>of the internal confidence and then fuck, what was the

0:56:05.960 --> 0:56:09.080
<v Speaker 1>other thing we talked about that was for the attention thing?

0:56:09.120 --> 0:56:12.640
<v Speaker 1>And then there was the anxiety thing? What do we

0:56:12.640 --> 0:56:15.480
<v Speaker 1>say about the anxiety thing? I forgot?

0:56:16.560 --> 0:56:17.360
<v Speaker 8>I forgot too.

0:56:18.080 --> 0:56:23.120
<v Speaker 1>Okay, hold on, we're going I'm gonna remember it. Oh well,

0:56:23.160 --> 0:56:31.040
<v Speaker 1>good thing we recorded this? Okay, with anxiety your therapist?

0:56:31.320 --> 0:56:34.360
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, ways to deal with anxiety? Oh yeah, okay,

0:56:34.400 --> 0:56:36.080
<v Speaker 1>it was you. Was you talking about going to the

0:56:36.120 --> 0:56:41.439
<v Speaker 1>gym and fucking eating stuff? I mean that's how I look.

0:56:41.480 --> 0:56:42.960
<v Speaker 1>I I do a lot of things to deal with

0:56:43.000 --> 0:56:45.440
<v Speaker 1>my anxiety that are unhealthy. I don't I'm gonna be

0:56:45.520 --> 0:56:47.880
<v Speaker 1>a hypocrite here. I'm eating candy, I don't go to

0:56:47.920 --> 0:56:51.160
<v Speaker 1>the gym. I'm fucking That's how I deal with my

0:56:51.200 --> 0:56:54.839
<v Speaker 1>anxiety is through unhealthy COPD mechanisms. But yeah, I think

0:56:54.840 --> 0:56:57.680
<v Speaker 1>we both know that the cliche but correct answer to

0:56:57.719 --> 0:57:01.279
<v Speaker 1>our issues is to, you know, do all the shit

0:57:01.400 --> 0:57:06.040
<v Speaker 1>that every single person has been raving about forever, which

0:57:06.120 --> 0:57:09.279
<v Speaker 1>is to eat healthy and exercise. But hey, let me

0:57:09.320 --> 0:57:12.080
<v Speaker 1>know if that works for you, because maybe I'll do it. Myself.

0:57:13.920 --> 0:57:15.480
<v Speaker 8>Yeah, I need to get back on it, and I

0:57:15.560 --> 0:57:17.760
<v Speaker 8>just need to not give myself such a hard time

0:57:17.880 --> 0:57:20.360
<v Speaker 8>for I guess, like living my life, I just need

0:57:20.360 --> 0:57:21.480
<v Speaker 8>to like tone it down.

0:57:21.320 --> 0:57:25.000
<v Speaker 1>A little bit. Yeah, I mean, look, don't you know.

0:57:25.400 --> 0:57:28.960
<v Speaker 1>I mean this is a hard thing because I mean look,

0:57:29.000 --> 0:57:33.280
<v Speaker 1>if you if you enjoy going out and doing your

0:57:33.280 --> 0:57:42.680
<v Speaker 1>thing and you find yourself getting genuine, positive social interactions

0:57:42.720 --> 0:57:48.160
<v Speaker 1>and life experiences out of it, then that's good. But

0:57:49.720 --> 0:57:52.480
<v Speaker 1>keep an eye on it, you know, because I think once,

0:57:53.120 --> 0:57:54.840
<v Speaker 1>once you're looking at it and like, well, no, these

0:57:54.920 --> 0:57:59.919
<v Speaker 1>nights out aren't giving me positive life experiences and cool

0:58:00.120 --> 0:58:04.680
<v Speaker 1>stories and human connection, but are really just kind of

0:58:04.720 --> 0:58:08.280
<v Speaker 1>serving the darker sides of what I desire, then it

0:58:08.360 --> 0:58:10.200
<v Speaker 1>might be time to try to slow it down. But

0:58:10.880 --> 0:58:12.600
<v Speaker 1>you know, I guess just try to keep an eye

0:58:12.640 --> 0:58:19.240
<v Speaker 1>on it. Yeah, yeah, is there anything else you want

0:58:19.280 --> 0:58:20.840
<v Speaker 1>to say to the people the computer before we go?

0:58:23.000 --> 0:58:25.440
<v Speaker 8>No, but thanks for talking to me, and I'm glad

0:58:25.440 --> 0:58:26.280
<v Speaker 8>I got through finally.

0:58:27.040 --> 0:58:31.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, thanks for talking to me too. I will see

0:58:31.280 --> 0:58:35.160
<v Speaker 1>you around on the computer, Eva. Thank Yeah, I love

0:58:35.200 --> 0:58:41.480
<v Speaker 1>you Greg Eva forever. Oh yeah, that was an interesting

0:58:41.520 --> 0:58:43.360
<v Speaker 1>cart That was something I feel like i've talked about

0:58:43.480 --> 0:58:50.440
<v Speaker 1>a hundred times, the building of internal confidence and trying

0:58:50.480 --> 0:58:55.000
<v Speaker 1>not to eat shitty. Every time I give the whole,

0:58:55.040 --> 0:59:00.440
<v Speaker 1>I give the building of internal confidence. Speech makes me

0:59:00.480 --> 0:59:04.320
<v Speaker 1>think about myself. I think about how much I've built

0:59:04.720 --> 0:59:08.680
<v Speaker 1>an internal confidence, and I think I'm getting pretty good.

0:59:09.040 --> 0:59:11.240
<v Speaker 1>I think I'm getting pretty good, but I don't know.

0:59:11.360 --> 0:59:15.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm waiting for somebody to say something to me, or

0:59:18.280 --> 0:59:22.760
<v Speaker 1>something bad to happen to me, or anything like that

0:59:22.800 --> 0:59:27.440
<v Speaker 1>where I can really test to found my foundation. But

0:59:27.480 --> 0:59:32.240
<v Speaker 1>it hasn't happened yet. And then with the eating thing,

0:59:33.920 --> 0:59:39.120
<v Speaker 1>I mean, fuck, I ate like three almond joys before

0:59:39.160 --> 0:59:42.800
<v Speaker 1>I came on here. I probably shouldn't do that.

0:59:43.320 --> 0:59:47.440
<v Speaker 3>Ever goes on the line, taking your phone calls every night.

0:59:47.840 --> 0:59:50.520
<v Speaker 1>Everything goes to its teaching you.

0:59:50.640 --> 0:59:54.520
<v Speaker 3>Cloud in the Memory life really an expert