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Speaker 1: Kai, mm hmm, what's up man?

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Speaker 2: It's been a hell of a two weeks.

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Speaker 3: Man?

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Speaker 1: Uh in how how som so?

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Speaker 2: One day? All right, I went to a funeral, which

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Speaker 2: is a family member, and then I went to sleep

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Speaker 2: after the funeral and woke up to some crazy news

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Speaker 2: that my grandparents were murdered by a kid that they fostered.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, yeah, when was this.

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Speaker 2: September?

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Speaker 4: Tenth?

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Speaker 1: OUs? This is like, yeah, they were murdered by a

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Speaker 1: kid that they fostered. Yeah were you were you close

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Speaker 1: with your grandparents?

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Speaker 2: Very It just feel weird because like now my birthday

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Speaker 2: is this Friday, right, and I can't go to their

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Speaker 2: house because they're not going to be there.

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Speaker 1: How how have you been processing this over the past month?

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Speaker 3: Working?

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Speaker 1: Okay? Has that? Has that helped at all?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: It really is smoking.

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Speaker 1: Into working, smoking and working. What how old was this

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Speaker 1: kid that they were fostering?

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Speaker 2: His team and he's charged as as an adult for

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Speaker 2: two counts of murder.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, have you been? Did you go down to

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Speaker 1: the courthouse and are you going now?

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Speaker 2: They took him to prison because his sister snitched on

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Speaker 2: him after he murdered my grandparents because she knew what

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Speaker 2: he was going to do because he told her.

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Speaker 1: So. So his sister knew that he was going to

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Speaker 1: do this, yes, but didn't but told after instead of before.

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 1: How Uh, this is a loaded question for sure, But

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Speaker 1: I mean, well, well, first of all, you know, listen,

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Speaker 1: I know we're in a public form. Is this just

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Speaker 1: this subject as a whole? I know it's rather fresh.

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Speaker 1: Is it just a thing that you feel comfortable talking

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Speaker 1: about on a thing?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Okay? Cool? I mean how do you how do you

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Speaker 1: feel about this situation as a whole? Like, I know

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Speaker 1: that's a loaded questions, but what's what have you been

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Speaker 1: kind of processing?

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Speaker 2: Shocked and like angry? Mm hmm I feel robbed, you

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Speaker 2: know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: Mm hmmmm? Have you spoken to or had any contact

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Speaker 1: with the uh the sister?

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Speaker 2: No, I texted her because when I find her, I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna be her ass. But yeah, I haven't found her.

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Speaker 1: You're going you're going to try to find her?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, when she turns eighteen. She's an I know she's

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Speaker 2: in the foster system right now, but when I find her,

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Speaker 2: I'm kicking her ass.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmmm. What about your family? How has your family

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Speaker 1: been reacting?

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Speaker 2: M they cry, but they don't as much as I

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Speaker 2: did because I'm a sensitive person or whatever. But my

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Speaker 2: dad was like, don't cry because they are in a

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Speaker 2: better place and my grandma is not in pain anymore,

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Speaker 2: so I should be happy she's gone instead of in pain.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Do you have any siblings?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: How have your siblings been reacting?

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Speaker 2: My sister, she was sad like the funeral, of course,

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Speaker 2: but they've been holding up. I'm gonna take my sister

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Speaker 2: because our birthdays are the same. I'm gonna take her

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Speaker 2: to go to the funeral. I'm at the funeral ship.

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Speaker 2: The the graves like to go put some flowers on

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Speaker 2: their graves.

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Speaker 1: Tell I mean, tell me about the the funeral. What

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Speaker 1: what was the air in the room. How were people

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Speaker 1: feeling was it? Did did it feel healing to be

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Speaker 1: with with people who were in your grandparents' lives? What

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Speaker 1: was kind of the the the vibe there?

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Speaker 2: It was like a full churchman like, it was packed

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Speaker 2: to the ground. But none of them people really knew

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Speaker 2: who I was, so it was basically like I was

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Speaker 2: holding myself together.

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Speaker 1: They didn't they didn't know who you were. They didn't

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Speaker 1: know that you were their grandchild.

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Speaker 2: Yes, m hm.

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Speaker 1: Did you get to Did you get any kind of

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Speaker 1: new perspectives on your grandparents by talking to other people

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Speaker 1: that knew them?

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Speaker 2: No, I was there to support, mostly supporting my little

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Speaker 2: sister because she was really really close to my grandma.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmmm. Have you been in content? Do you do you?

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Speaker 1: Your little sister doesn't live with you, does she? No? Okay?

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Speaker 1: Have you been in a lot of contact with her

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Speaker 1: since this all happens.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, checking up on her. She really likes art and stuff.

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to buy her some canvases and ship It's nice.

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Speaker 1: It's nice. I mean your life, let's talk about that.

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Speaker 1: Like you said that you're working a lot, smoking a lot. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: what what what do you do for work?

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Speaker 2: I'm a I work at a hospital and I'll work idolatry.

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Speaker 1: Okay. And how has work been for you?

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Speaker 6: This is straight.

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Speaker 2: I got over over time basically working so much.

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Speaker 5: M hm.

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Speaker 1: Do you have any kind of of of aspirations for

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Speaker 1: the future. Is there a thing? Uh, you know that

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Speaker 1: you that you hope to do with your life someday?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: I want to go to college. I should have went

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Speaker 2: when I graduated high school, but I didn't. I waited

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Speaker 2: like two years but I want to go to be

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Speaker 2: ne natal orchtown sonographer.

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Speaker 1: Nice. Nice. When when are you gonna go to school?

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Speaker 2: Probably next year, most likely next year?

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Speaker 1: Mm hmmmm. You know, kay, I want to I feel

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Speaker 1: like I want to tell this to you, and I

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Speaker 1: want to, you know, be sensitive about it because I

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Speaker 1: know it's a sensitive subject. But can we talk for

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Speaker 1: a second about you wanting to beat up this this

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Speaker 1: guy's sister. Yeah, because I you know, I know that

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Speaker 1: you're clearly very angry at the idea that, h you know,

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Speaker 1: a person could have prevented this thing and they didn't,

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Speaker 1: And I know that that that that makes you very angry.

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Speaker 1: But you know, hearing you just now talking about you know,

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Speaker 1: you want to go to college, and you have this

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Speaker 1: career that you want to pursue, and you have a

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Speaker 1: little sister and family who need you around. I I

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Speaker 1: hope that you don't do anything even if you feel

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Speaker 1: that it's justified, that would jeopardize your ability to do

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Speaker 1: these things that you want to do.

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Speaker 2: I doubt it would, because I've never been in trouble

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Speaker 2: with the law, and like, I can get my I

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Speaker 2: can get my thing cleared after I get out of jail.

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Speaker 1: If you know what I mean what you record your

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Speaker 1: your thing cleared my records.

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Speaker 2: I can get my record your sponge.

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Speaker 1: How do you do that? Oh?

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Speaker 2: A long process. I have to my mom.

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Speaker 1: Well, listen, I don't know you and I can't You're

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Speaker 1: this is an anonymous phone call thing and I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Uh I I just I just again hearing you talk

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Speaker 1: about your little sister who needs you. You're you want

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Speaker 1: to go to school, and I I I understand that

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Speaker 1: you have these these desires for vengeance, but I hope

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Speaker 1: you don't do anything that would get you in trouble

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Speaker 1: with the law, even if you feel it is justified,

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Speaker 1: just because you have so many higher things that you

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Speaker 1: desire to do and you can you can take that

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Speaker 1: for whatever it is. But I gotta say it to you, well, I.

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Speaker 2: Appreciate you seeing the gig. I'm gonna take that consideration.

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Speaker 1: Okay, good, please do I'm sorry. I'm sorry to hear

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Speaker 1: that all this happened. Kaya. I know it sounds like

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Speaker 1: you're still kind of processing it all, is there? Like,

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Speaker 1: is there anything before we go that you feel like

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Speaker 1: we didn't talk about any aspects of this or anything

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Speaker 1: that you want to say before we go.

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Speaker 3: M.

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Speaker 2: I can't really put anything to mind at the moment.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Well, good luck Kaya with the stuff that you

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Speaker 1: want to do with. I'm rooting for you. I'm sorry

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Speaker 1: hear that all this happened, and I talk to you again.

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Speaker 1: That is true, that is very true. I will talk

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Speaker 1: to you soon.

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Speaker 5: Kaya.

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Speaker 1: Good luck to you, bo Geic love you. That was interesting, Kaya.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I am in over my head with

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Speaker 1: this podcast, but it is what it is. I am

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Speaker 1: simply talking to random people on the phone about stuff

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Speaker 1: and seeing what happens as a result of that. Kaya

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Speaker 1: had a very calm demeanor to her, and it's interesting.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what her outside demeanor, how reflective it

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Speaker 1: is of anything she's feeling on the inside. And I

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Speaker 1: said it to her. I said it five times, but

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Speaker 1: I'll say it again. I do hope that that even

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Speaker 1: though she feels as though she she should go out

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Speaker 1: and enact some kind of revenge, that she does not

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Speaker 1: do anything to jeopardize these these higher things like pursuing

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Speaker 1: a career or being around to be there for her

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Speaker 1: little sister. But thank you for calling in, Kaya.

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Speaker 5: Hello, Hey, hey, hey yourself.

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Speaker 1: We did that already, we did Hey, two times you're

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Speaker 1: trying to do doing hey, a third time doing a

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Speaker 1: third Hey.

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Speaker 5: We should just get right into it.

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Speaker 1: I think so too. What's going on?

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Speaker 5: Man?

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Speaker 1: Well, tell me about everything? What did you want to

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Speaker 1: talk about?

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Speaker 5: So? I got my dogs three years ago?

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Speaker 3: You know?

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Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

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Speaker 5: He's a pretty good talk Yep. He's a Hungarian.

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Speaker 1: He's a Hungarian?

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Speaker 5: What a v Schlow?

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Speaker 1: Okay, he's a Hungarian v Slow.

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Speaker 5: And he just turned three and yesterday I had his

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Speaker 5: balls cut off.

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Speaker 1: Okay, all right, you have an You have a Hungarian

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Speaker 1: v Schlow. You took it to get neutered.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like it's a bad choice. You know.

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Speaker 1: Interesting? Why do you feel like it was a bad choice?

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Speaker 5: It makes me wonder what do what do they do

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Speaker 5: with all the remains? Do they you know, do they

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Speaker 5: donate them? Do they keep them in a jar? What

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Speaker 5: is it with people's infatuation? But like the testicles of.

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Speaker 1: Animals, I don't know what kind of people you have

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Speaker 1: been hanging around, But I I mean, I guess I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I don't really know. There's only really a

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Speaker 1: few people in my life who I feel like I

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Speaker 1: know very very intimately, like a really finite small, small

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Speaker 1: like two three people tops. So there could be a

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Speaker 1: lot more people out there that I just don't know

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Speaker 1: about that are as you say, infatuated with the testicles

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Speaker 1: of animals. So I'm not going to deny that is true.

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Speaker 1: But as far as what they do with the testicles

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Speaker 1: of animals after they cut them off, I would think

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Speaker 1: I would hope that they are either thrown away in

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Speaker 1: some sort of biodegradable way, or they are used in

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Speaker 1: some productive way, like maybe you can turn dog balls

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Speaker 1: into hamster lungs somehow, and maybe they do that with them.

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Speaker 1: But I don't know. I actually really know as just

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Speaker 1: as much as you do about what they do with

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Speaker 1: the desticles after they cut them off. What do you

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Speaker 1: think they do?

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Speaker 5: I know what they do with circumcised foreskins.

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Speaker 1: What do they do with circumcised for skins?

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Speaker 5: They put those in facial creams.

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Speaker 1: In facial creams, Yeah, well, what.

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Speaker 5: Kind of facial community like the ones that women put

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Speaker 5: on their faces to rejuvenate their skin. Interesting thing, I

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Speaker 5: watched the compelling anti circumcision video on YouTube. It was

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Speaker 5: disguised dissertation about not having the boys circumcised anymore.

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Speaker 1: So you believe that women's facial products contain the four

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Speaker 1: skins of babies.

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Speaker 5: It's not a belief, it's it's a fact.

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Speaker 1: You're telling me. If I google this right now, it'll

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Speaker 1: come up as they'll be like articles about it and ship.

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Speaker 5: I'm one hundred four percent sure.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I'm gonna do it.

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Speaker 5: Take so much what happens with the dogs testicles?

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Speaker 1: Okay, I'm gonna do it all right. Well, I don't

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Speaker 1: even know what to google for this? Are it there?

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Speaker 1: For skin in? Is their foreskin in face cream? Holy shit?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, Boston Magazine, The baby foreskin facial is

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Speaker 1: a real thing. If you are listening to this, google

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Speaker 1: is their foreskin in face cream? Okay?

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Speaker 3: Uh.

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Speaker 1: Skin Medica is a company that uses foreskin fibroblasts to

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Speaker 1: grow and cultivate new cells.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, they believe it rejuvenates the skin.

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Speaker 1: Okay. Here this is from quartz dot com. Several beauty

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Speaker 1: products contain baby foreskin cells, urine or snail extract. Okay, No,

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Speaker 1: this is You're one hundred percent correct here, this is right,

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Speaker 1: this is true. I'm looking this up right now. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you're you're one hundred percent correct.

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Speaker 5: It makes me sad, you know, like, what happened to

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Speaker 5: my dog's Well.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so you think that the dog you think that

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Speaker 1: dog balls are being used for something similar?

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Speaker 5: I mean, why would it go to waste? At this point,

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Speaker 5: it's already in ladies' facial creams.

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Speaker 1: Okay, what do you what do you think that they're

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Speaker 1: putting what do you think that they're putting it on?

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Speaker 1: Put put putting it in.

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Speaker 5: Right menstrual food? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Can I ask you this? I don't think I asked

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Speaker 1: this question. What's your name again? Dane? Dane? What do

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Speaker 1: you hope they're doing with them?

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Speaker 5: You know, right after I picked him up from the vet,

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Speaker 5: you have to look in his eyes like he knew

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Speaker 5: what I had done to him? Now like this look

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Speaker 5: at disappointment. What do I hope? I hope that they

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Speaker 5: don't go to absolute waste? I mean he was using them.

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Speaker 1: Okay, all right, so you so you hope that they

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Speaker 1: do do something with your dog's balls, like put them

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Speaker 1: in a face cream or a soup, just so that

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Speaker 1: they don't go to waste.

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Speaker 5: I wish we didn't, you know, fool around with private

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Speaker 5: parks like that. It's all very confusing.

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Speaker 1: Well, Dane, I mean Dane, Dane, you took your dog

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Speaker 1: to get.

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Speaker 5: It's like societal pressures. You know, he can't go to

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Speaker 5: dog daycare without with his balls. It's like they require

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Speaker 5: his balls in exchange to attend daycare.

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Speaker 1: Well, I mean that's the reasonable because if he went

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Speaker 1: and he had dog balls, he would just try to

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Speaker 1: have sex with all the other dogs.

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Speaker 5: But if all the other dogs are stayed, what's the problem.

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Speaker 5: You know, it's like a two.

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Speaker 1: Well, if all the other dogs are spade, then it's

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Speaker 1: not fair for him to not be spared.

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Speaker 5: I called the state a spade. But this isn't fair

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Speaker 5: at all. You know, Like, imagine if you had a

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Speaker 5: misbehaving child. It's not like you would take him to

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Speaker 5: the doctor to have his balls cut off in fifth grade.

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Speaker 5: I mean fifth graders are monsters, but we don't cut

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Speaker 5: their balls off.

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Speaker 1: I guess that's true.

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Speaker 4: Hm, I feel like I sailed my dog yesterday. You

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Speaker 4: should make it up dog.

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Speaker 1: You should get him a treaty or hey, I have

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Speaker 1: an idea. I have an idea, Dane, Dane, listen before

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Speaker 1: we go, I'm gonna throw this side. Okay, Dane, you

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Speaker 1: go to a doctor and you say, listen, Doc, I

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Speaker 1: know what you guys are doing with the baby fore

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Speaker 1: and skins. I know that you're taking the baby fore

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Speaker 1: and skins, taking the baby foreskins, and that they grow

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Speaker 1: cells and that they can make new forms of life.

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Speaker 1: And you say, Doc, I did my dog wrong. I

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Speaker 1: fucked up. I took away his balls. And you know

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Speaker 1: what I'm gonna do, Doc, I want to give my

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Speaker 1: own balls to the dog. And you have the doctor

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Speaker 1: put you under anesthetic, cut off your balls, and graft

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Speaker 1: them onto your dog.

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Speaker 5: That's just the advice I was looking for.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for calling Dan.

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Speaker 5: Good night love.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I described a fantasy that he has

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Speaker 1: had for a long time. I'm not going to get

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Speaker 1: into it any further. I have no jurisdiction over what

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Speaker 1: people do in their own minds. I am simply a

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Speaker 1: gecko on the internet. Hello, Hi Dan. It says here

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Speaker 1: that you you work at Arby's and you're stressed out

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Speaker 1: a lot.

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Speaker 3: I do, in fact work at Arby's.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so what's what? What's what's stressing you out about

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Speaker 1: working at Arby's.

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Speaker 3: I'm not a very sociable person. Honestly. Whenever I first

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Speaker 3: got hired at said Arby's, I was not in charge

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Speaker 3: of any customer interaction, but eventually I worked up the

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Speaker 3: courage to ask my manager like, Hey, can I can

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Speaker 3: I train to take orders, give people their food, smile

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Speaker 3: and wave all that, you know, happy service with a smile,

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Speaker 3: customer service stuff. M yeah, so I've done that. I've

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Speaker 3: been doing that for a while and overall it's it's

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Speaker 3: a pretty good gig. I make not great money, but

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Speaker 3: I'm comfortable where I'm at. But it's just certain customers

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Speaker 3: can be a little bit over demanding, you know.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so you had a little bit of social anxiety

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Speaker 1: You're working in the back, and then you were like,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna face my fears go up to the front.

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Speaker 3: Definitely, definitely.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So these customers that are that are rude to you?

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Speaker 1: What give me some examples of some of the interactions

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Speaker 1: you've been having.

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Speaker 3: Well, for the most part, people here at my local

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Speaker 3: Arby's are very polite, very you know, accepting of any shorthandedness,

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Speaker 3: slow service. You know, we might not have like the

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Speaker 3: meats that you desired, we might not have your favorite

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Speaker 3: uh side order like we have. We have monster rellistics

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Speaker 3: and people love our Monterrellistics. I for one. I think

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Speaker 3: they're okay, they're not the It's monster relsticks, but we've

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Speaker 3: had people get like very angry if we were ever

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00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:13,399
Speaker 3: out of them. But overall, the customers are nice, but

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Speaker 3: there can be people who are just kind of assholes

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Speaker 3: just through and through, Like well, for example, mister Gecko,

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00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:34,679
Speaker 3: this one lady came through the drive through. Because nowadays

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00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:37,840
Speaker 3: I am in drive through, taking orders, cashing people out,

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00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,679
Speaker 3: handing their food through the window, trying to get it

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Speaker 3: done as speedy as possible. This lady comes through my

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Speaker 3: speaker and she starts asking like, do you have chopped chicken?

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Speaker 3: I had no idea what she meant by this, so

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Speaker 3: I asked her like, do you mean our roasted chicken?

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00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:58,960
Speaker 3: Do you mean chicken tenders? Do you mean chicken nuggets?

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00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:04,040
Speaker 3: But she was very adamant about it being chopped chicken.

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Speaker 3: So I told her, ma'am, I do not have anything

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Speaker 3: called chopped chicken on my menu. Would you like to

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Speaker 3: try anything else that I just offered? And she, in

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Speaker 3: typical you know, Ohio fashion, goes You're fucking ignorant and

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Speaker 3: just drives off. And I sat there for a minute,

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Speaker 3: just absolutely bewildered at how one human being can be

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Speaker 3: so awful.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, Well, I mean looks, I mean, listen,

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Speaker 1: you have chicken, right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we have. We had roasted chicken.

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Speaker 1: But you and you and you guys had you got

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Speaker 1: knives over.

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00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:58,359
Speaker 3: There, right, yeah we have not we have knives.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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00:26:59,160 --> 00:26:59,320
Speaker 5: Yeah.

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00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:04,919
Speaker 1: So I mean theoretically you could take some chicken and

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00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:06,200
Speaker 1: chop it up and put it in a bowl.

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00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:11,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, we could. But like at the time, the

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00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:13,800
Speaker 3: closest thing to what I was assuming that she was

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00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:17,680
Speaker 3: talking about was a roasted chicken, because it's already pre chopped.

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00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:22,120
Speaker 3: You know, it's already in like these little morsel bites

385
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:24,000
Speaker 3: that you can just pop in your mouth if you

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00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:24,560
Speaker 3: really want to.

387
00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:27,040
Speaker 1: All right, So I mean so I said, look, so

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00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:31,600
Speaker 1: you did have chopped chicken. Yes, all right, So this

389
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:33,119
Speaker 1: was all just a big misunderstanding.

390
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:38,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, but that's that's that's the worst part of it.

391
00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:42,160
Speaker 3: Most of it is misunderstanding. But like, yeah, no matter

392
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:46,600
Speaker 3: how polite you try to be to certain customers, it's always,

393
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:50,320
Speaker 3: at the end of the day, your fault. Like, yeah,

394
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:55,760
Speaker 3: I had this one dude. Who if you get food

395
00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:59,040
Speaker 3: from inside of the store and you're carrying it out,

396
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:03,440
Speaker 3: typically there is no tax except for that rare occasion

397
00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:06,439
Speaker 3: where there is, because there's like beverage taxes and sugar

398
00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:10,720
Speaker 3: taxes and stuff like that. You know. So this guy

399
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:13,520
Speaker 3: comes through my drive through and he says he gets

400
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,960
Speaker 3: his order, and I tell him it's total, and he

401
00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:20,160
Speaker 3: starts going off on me, like he starts yelling at

402
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:23,760
Speaker 3: me about how I'm wrong, and I tell him, like, sir,

403
00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 3: the sandwich you ordered, Sure, the price is listed differently

404
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:32,879
Speaker 3: than what I told you, but that is for a small.

405
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:36,120
Speaker 3: Our prices listed are for smalls we have.

406
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:47,200
Speaker 6: Like the You know, look, I think, can I see

407
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:48,720
Speaker 6: this is tough because I feel I you know, in

408
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 6: all seriousness, I feel your pain.

409
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Speaker 1: Man. It's hard to deal with, you know, people who

410
00:28:55,640 --> 00:29:01,120
Speaker 1: are who are aggravating. It's difficult. But at the end

411
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:05,040
Speaker 1: of the day, you just gotta sit back and uh

412
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:12,240
Speaker 1: laugh at how funny it is for somebody to get

413
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:17,240
Speaker 1: really upset about chopped chicken and these people, these people

414
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:21,000
Speaker 1: Dan just I don't and I and I listen. You're

415
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:25,360
Speaker 1: you did nothing wrong, and you're upset because everyone is

416
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:27,600
Speaker 1: making you feel like you you did. You didn't do

417
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:31,960
Speaker 1: anything wrong, You didn't do anything even remotely wrong, but

418
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:36,160
Speaker 1: you're you're you're dealing with this person who lives in

419
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:41,080
Speaker 1: a universe where it is justifiable to get upset about

420
00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:46,600
Speaker 1: chopped chicken. And what you don't want to do. What

421
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:50,080
Speaker 1: you don't want to do is let this person drag

422
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:54,080
Speaker 1: you into her universe, because the longer you take that

423
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:58,000
Speaker 1: with you, it's like, this person's upset about chopped chicken,

424
00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:00,600
Speaker 1: and then you're upset that she's upset about chick chop chicken.

425
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:03,480
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, you're upset about chopped chicken,

426
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 1: and without even realizing it, you've been pulled into the

427
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:12,800
Speaker 1: chopped chicken universe. And I just I just want you to,

428
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:22,000
Speaker 1: as you deal with all this stuff, be intentional about

429
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:27,760
Speaker 1: where you find your anger going and try to steer

430
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:31,280
Speaker 1: it away from the chopped chicken universe, because it's not

431
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 1: a good place for anyone to be in. Yeah, because

432
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 1: you could very easily just laugh off this woman, And

433
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:42,200
Speaker 1: I understand for you, how how how it's like, Okay,

434
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:43,880
Speaker 1: I can laugh this off. But if it's just a

435
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:51,040
Speaker 1: relentless sea of constant, non stopped chopped chicken people, how

436
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:53,640
Speaker 1: it could be easy to get pulled into their universe

437
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:58,040
Speaker 1: of anger. But you're You're better than that. Dan, You're

438
00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:03,719
Speaker 1: You're I I really feel like you are. So if

439
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:07,959
Speaker 1: there's a way for you to to be more mindful

440
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:12,560
Speaker 1: of where you're letting your anger go and not let

441
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 1: it get dragged around and really take hold of it

442
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:21,040
Speaker 1: and use it intentionally for places where it matters, I

443
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:25,840
Speaker 1: feel like you would be happier. But also, you know,

444
00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 1: I don't want to be dismissive of you and how

445
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:30,680
Speaker 1: you feel, so I mean, tell me what you think

446
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:31,080
Speaker 1: of all that.

447
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:37,560
Speaker 3: At the end of the day, I feel more or

448
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:41,480
Speaker 3: less the same way you do, geckos Or, because I

449
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:47,040
Speaker 3: did end up laughing at just the sheer absurdity of

450
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:54,040
Speaker 3: this woman who is claims to have been able to

451
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 3: order her chopped chicken. But I also feel like there's

452
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:08,960
Speaker 3: not enough people in this world that are genuinely polite

453
00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:16,680
Speaker 3: and understanding towards fast food workers, because it's a job

454
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:22,200
Speaker 3: that many people view as like many many layers beneath them.

455
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:26,680
Speaker 3: So it's just like in their minds, fast food workers

456
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:27,880
Speaker 3: are not people.

457
00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:31,480
Speaker 1: Can I ask you a question and you would know

458
00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:37,959
Speaker 1: this and I from experience, are most people the majority

459
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:49,880
Speaker 1: of people that come through decently pleasant, Yes, Okay, good, good,

460
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:52,760
Speaker 1: But it's just every now and then, and please don't

461
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:54,360
Speaker 1: let me put words in your mouth, stop me if

462
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:58,400
Speaker 1: I'm wrong. It is. It just kind of a every

463
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:02,200
Speaker 1: once in a while you will encounter a chops chicken person.

464
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 7: Absolutely absolutely, Okay, okay, okay, And I'm just saying, if

465
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:14,800
Speaker 7: that is true, and do you tell police, Tell me

466
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:17,360
Speaker 7: if it's not, if you've had a different experience, but

467
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:19,880
Speaker 7: if that's true, for just for.

468
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:24,880
Speaker 1: Your own sake, not because they deserve it or whatever,

469
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:30,800
Speaker 1: but just for your own sake, don't let people drag

470
00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:34,720
Speaker 1: you into the universe where we get upset about chops chicken,

471
00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:38,960
Speaker 1: just for just for your own sake. This is just

472
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:43,520
Speaker 1: you doing what you can within your power, because you

473
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:47,640
Speaker 1: can't control other people being pissed off of you and

474
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 1: other people being upset, but you can control whether or

475
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:55,200
Speaker 1: not you allow them to rattle you. And I hope

476
00:33:55,200 --> 00:34:04,240
Speaker 1: you take pride in not letting that rattle you, because

477
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 1: it's a skill. A lot of people can be very

478
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:11,000
Speaker 1: easily dragged into the universe of this fucking person said

479
00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:12,839
Speaker 1: this fucking thing to me, and that fucking fuck them,

480
00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:17,480
Speaker 1: and then they're like that just overpowers their thoughts and

481
00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:20,360
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, this this person has power

482
00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:24,839
Speaker 1: over you because of that, and you you just got

483
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:29,120
Speaker 1: to let that go for no reason other than it'll

484
00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:32,160
Speaker 1: make you feel better while you're doing your job.

485
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:34,640
Speaker 3: Yeah?

486
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:38,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, does that resonate with you? I want to be

487
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:42,000
Speaker 1: respectful of how you're feeling in this, and I'm not

488
00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 1: trying to tell you that you are you know whatever,

489
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:50,440
Speaker 1: the justification of your feelings, but just is this okay good?

490
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:54,200
Speaker 1: Does this feel? Does this resonate with.

491
00:34:54,200 --> 00:35:03,320
Speaker 3: You a little bit? Yeah? I'm not particularly confrontal person

492
00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:10,400
Speaker 3: in all In all honesty, I hate confrontation in almost

493
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:15,600
Speaker 3: any form. Sure, I told I told a story to

494
00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:19,120
Speaker 3: your assistant. You can ask him if you would like

495
00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:25,000
Speaker 3: further details. But like after after that, my entire body

496
00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:30,279
Speaker 3: just started feeling like numb, like I needed to take

497
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:32,840
Speaker 3: take a take a nice like ice bath to just

498
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:38,160
Speaker 3: like calm. Every nerve, every muscle in my body just

499
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:42,240
Speaker 3: was begging for like we need to shut down. Something

500
00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:46,560
Speaker 3: horrible just happened. It can't it can't get any worse

501
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:49,120
Speaker 3: than this. But like in my mind I know that

502
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:54,240
Speaker 3: that's like it's not stupid, Like you should be able

503
00:35:54,280 --> 00:36:00,040
Speaker 3: to express your emotions freely, but like I I, I

504
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:02,880
Speaker 3: am what a lot of people would consider a dormat

505
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:07,080
Speaker 3: in most situations, but those very very rare occasions where

506
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:10,680
Speaker 3: I do stand up for myself, I just feel absolutely

507
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:16,640
Speaker 3: horrible for the person that I just accosted. And I

508
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:19,080
Speaker 3: know I shouldn't. I know I shouldn't, but it's just

509
00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:24,000
Speaker 3: like I do not like being a rude person.

510
00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:26,200
Speaker 1: You don't have you don't have to be a rude

511
00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:28,680
Speaker 1: what's your dan, dan? You don't have to be a

512
00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:33,200
Speaker 1: rude person, and you don't have to take your vengeance

513
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:38,560
Speaker 1: in the form of blowing up at people or accosting them.

514
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:41,640
Speaker 1: You just have to. I just want you to like

515
00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:49,680
Speaker 1: take some like some form of intentional control over what

516
00:36:49,719 --> 00:36:55,200
Speaker 1: you are going to choose to be upset about. Yeah, yeah,

517
00:36:55,239 --> 00:36:58,680
Speaker 1: for just again, for no reason other than your own

518
00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:04,960
Speaker 1: say so, like you know this, So a person comes

519
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:09,080
Speaker 1: to you and as an asshole to you, and you're like, fuck,

520
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:13,640
Speaker 1: I cannot believe that this person was so rude to me,

521
00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:17,080
Speaker 1: And you're like, you're it's you know, it's fucking an

522
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:20,680
Speaker 1: hour later, two hours later, three hours later, and you're

523
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:22,759
Speaker 1: still in your head going like I can't believe that

524
00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:25,160
Speaker 1: person fucking said that to me. I should have said

525
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:26,600
Speaker 1: this back to them. I should have said this that

526
00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:31,520
Speaker 1: at that point, when it's three hours past. Just take

527
00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:35,200
Speaker 1: an objective, Just take an objective look at the situation,

528
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:39,440
Speaker 1: and go listen. From my own benefit, I need to

529
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:44,080
Speaker 1: go I can't. You just need to step back and

530
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:48,840
Speaker 1: be like, I can't let this stew in my brain

531
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:52,360
Speaker 1: because it's unproductive at this point, and it's distracting me

532
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:55,640
Speaker 1: from any number of more productive thoughts and feelings I

533
00:37:55,640 --> 00:38:06,040
Speaker 1: could be having and optimize, optimize your emotions for yourself,

534
00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:10,640
Speaker 1: not in some way that you're going to, you know,

535
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:13,719
Speaker 1: yell back at them to restore some kind of a

536
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 1: fake balance in the universe that will never get restored.

537
00:38:17,719 --> 00:38:21,400
Speaker 1: But you know, however, you can react in such a

538
00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:26,000
Speaker 1: way that that optimizes your own personal peace, and that

539
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:33,360
Speaker 1: does not necessarily have to be you accosting people, you, you know, whatever.

540
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:36,560
Speaker 1: It is, just I would just think in those terms.

541
00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:37,560
Speaker 1: Does that make sense?

542
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:45,080
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, I feel now that I've now that I've

543
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 3: shared this and so honestly more publicly than I ever have,

544
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:51,880
Speaker 3: I feel I feel a lot better.

545
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:58,279
Speaker 1: Good good, good, Dan. Is there anything else you want

546
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:01,719
Speaker 1: to say to the people, the computer, or to me,

547
00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:06,520
Speaker 1: or that you feel like you didn't get out, or

548
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:07,799
Speaker 1: and just anything at all.

549
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:12,839
Speaker 3: Before we go, I just want to leave one quick

550
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:18,440
Speaker 3: message and give a shout out to one of my friends.

551
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:21,480
Speaker 3: The message that I'd like to leave you all with

552
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:27,759
Speaker 3: today is don't don't don't be assholes. Just be kind

553
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:31,240
Speaker 3: to one another. Try to find your own happiness. Don't

554
00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:38,360
Speaker 3: don't be the chopped chicken lady of your social circles.

555
00:39:38,719 --> 00:39:43,279
Speaker 3: Be be be a good person, be good people. And

556
00:39:43,719 --> 00:39:44,919
Speaker 3: I'd like to give a shout out.

557
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:46,799
Speaker 1: Oh yes, you have a shout out, Please shout out.

558
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:48,319
Speaker 1: I'll stop talking and give you a shout out.

559
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:52,680
Speaker 3: You find mister Getka. I would like to give a

560
00:39:52,719 --> 00:39:57,560
Speaker 3: shout out to James, somebody that's been a good friend,

561
00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:05,040
Speaker 3: a good shoulder, a good bro for many years. Many years.

562
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:09,800
Speaker 3: I've helped him and he's helped me. Honestly, I feel

563
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:16,880
Speaker 3: like more than he knows. Yeah, thank you all, thank you,

564
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:18,040
Speaker 3: thank you, Dan.

565
00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:20,959
Speaker 1: I'll see you soon, all.

566
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:23,560
Speaker 3: Right, thank you, mister Rico by twitch.

567
00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:27,319
Speaker 1: I don't know why I said i'll see you soon.

568
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:28,759
Speaker 1: I don't know if that meant that I'm going to

569
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:32,200
Speaker 1: RBS soon or if I just said that because that's

570
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:33,799
Speaker 1: one of the things that people tend to say at

571
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:36,239
Speaker 1: the end of conversations and I needed to find one

572
00:40:36,239 --> 00:40:37,920
Speaker 1: of those phrases, and then that's the one I found.

573
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:42,080
Speaker 1: But anyway, you know, listen, I tried to navigate that

574
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:49,880
Speaker 1: mindfully because I look, I'm I'm playing Devil's Advocate to

575
00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:53,000
Speaker 1: myself all the time of like, you know, people should

576
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:54,799
Speaker 1: be able to feel their feelings and stuff, and I

577
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:57,080
Speaker 1: totally agree with that, but I just am like, at

578
00:40:57,080 --> 00:41:03,520
Speaker 1: a certain point, you know, you gotta optimize for what's

579
00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:06,719
Speaker 1: the most productive way for me to feel about this

580
00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:11,160
Speaker 1: situation and go about this situation just for my own peace.

581
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:14,600
Speaker 1: And sometimes it's not to blow up and chew the

582
00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:19,840
Speaker 1: other person out or to be as mad as you

583
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:23,200
Speaker 1: possibly can about chopped chicken lady. And here's another thing.

584
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:30,240
Speaker 1: Chopped chicken Lady is inevitable. She's inevitable. She's people being

585
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:37,279
Speaker 1: dis or being rude to you is just an inevitable.

586
00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:40,880
Speaker 1: It's like, it's this inevitability of the universe. It's a

587
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:45,840
Speaker 1: constant and you can't take it personally, and you just

588
00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:49,879
Speaker 1: gotta go, look, fuck, I heard this thing. I'm gonna

589
00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:52,480
Speaker 1: I'm gonna shout out. I'm gonna shout out this guy

590
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:57,279
Speaker 1: I like on the internet who says stuff. His name

591
00:41:57,360 --> 00:41:59,759
Speaker 1: is Ryan Holliday. He talks a lot about stoic for

592
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:04,040
Speaker 1: He said this thing that I've been thinking about a lot.

593
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:09,120
Speaker 1: He said, pay the taxes of life gladly. And I

594
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:13,120
Speaker 1: liked that. And I feel like dealing with this rude

595
00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:16,600
Speaker 1: people is like a tax of life. It's an inevitable thing,

596
00:42:17,040 --> 00:42:19,160
Speaker 1: and so when it comes upon you, just be like,

597
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:24,560
Speaker 1: look ninety percent. And I asked Dan about this because

598
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:26,959
Speaker 1: I wanted him to clarify because I have not worked

599
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:29,680
Speaker 1: fast food and he has, and so I wanted it

600
00:42:29,719 --> 00:42:32,200
Speaker 1: from his mouth. And he said that ninety percent of

601
00:42:32,239 --> 00:42:36,239
Speaker 1: people that come to him. He didn't say ninety percent,

602
00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:38,640
Speaker 1: but he said a majority. I don't know why I'm

603
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:40,480
Speaker 1: making up numbers, but anyway, he said a majority of

604
00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:44,279
Speaker 1: people are cool, and it's like the few that are assholes.

605
00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:47,360
Speaker 1: And just to accept that a few people are assholes

606
00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:49,880
Speaker 1: when they come to you, and that it's a constant

607
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:54,359
Speaker 1: and to nataga personally will make you feel better. And

608
00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:57,399
Speaker 1: if it makes you feel better, then I think that's

609
00:42:57,400 --> 00:43:00,880
Speaker 1: the way you should think about it. I am a

610
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:06,080
Speaker 1: Gecko on the computer saying words to people. Let's take

611
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:17,440
Speaker 1: another call. Hello, Hello, Hi, Hi, how are you? Yeah?

612
00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:20,239
Speaker 1: Who am I? Who am I speaking with? Who am

613
00:43:20,239 --> 00:43:20,960
Speaker 1: I speaking with?

614
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:23,800
Speaker 8: I asked to be anonymous.

615
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:32,839
Speaker 1: Okay, so I'm gonna call you. I'm gonna call you, Uh, Leanne,

616
00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:35,279
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call you. Lead's too much, I'm gonna call you.

617
00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:39,279
Speaker 1: Give me a name, you pick, you pick your name.

618
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:44,880
Speaker 8: Oh, let's go with like Ava.

619
00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:47,239
Speaker 1: That's cool, right, Ava? Okay? I like that. I was

620
00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:50,240
Speaker 1: trying to think of something short. I feel like Leanne

621
00:43:50,239 --> 00:43:53,759
Speaker 1: has too many syllo Okay, Ava, Hello, what's going on

622
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:56,480
Speaker 1: with you? What's what's up? Ava?

623
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:56,680
Speaker 5: Is?

624
00:43:57,239 --> 00:43:58,440
Speaker 1: How are you doing this evening?

625
00:43:59,880 --> 00:44:03,319
Speaker 8: I'm good. I just went to class today and did

626
00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:05,560
Speaker 8: some homework and I saw you were on Twitch and

627
00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:09,520
Speaker 8: I called like right away, Yeah here I am.

628
00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:13,480
Speaker 1: Now is there a thing in particular that you wanted

629
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:15,200
Speaker 1: to call in to talk about?

630
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:18,640
Speaker 8: I just turned twenty one, not that long ago, and

631
00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:21,879
Speaker 8: I've kind of like always been into drinking, like kind

632
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:23,840
Speaker 8: of since I was like eighteen or nineteen, and it

633
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:26,560
Speaker 8: was kind of like more of a problem more so

634
00:44:26,719 --> 00:44:29,839
Speaker 8: during COVID, I would say, but I got better with it.

635
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:32,040
Speaker 8: And then once I turned twenty one, I feel like

636
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:35,480
Speaker 8: I fell into like a bad, like dark twisted spiral

637
00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:38,920
Speaker 8: of like drinking and like going out every weekend. And

638
00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:41,520
Speaker 8: I think it's like I'm just starting to make worse

639
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:46,080
Speaker 8: and worse decisions every weekend. And I started to like

640
00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:49,400
Speaker 8: dabble with drugs and I don't like doing drugs like

641
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:51,600
Speaker 8: it's only thing, and it started to scare me because

642
00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:54,880
Speaker 8: that's not me. So I like, I just wake up

643
00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:58,400
Speaker 8: in random guy's beds every weekend and I wake up

644
00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:00,680
Speaker 8: on Sunday and I just I feel like a piece

645
00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:04,719
Speaker 8: of shit and I don't know, like I regret all

646
00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:07,719
Speaker 8: my decisions, Like I know, like on one hand, it's

647
00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:10,399
Speaker 8: like I know I'm twenty one and I'm just having fun.

648
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:12,160
Speaker 8: But then on the other hand, I feel like I'm

649
00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:16,160
Speaker 8: like letting myself down and like my family down, and

650
00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:19,399
Speaker 8: I just go through this basically same cycle every single

651
00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:22,319
Speaker 8: weekend and like every Sunday when I wake up and

652
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:24,680
Speaker 8: I don't know, I just feel like I feel like

653
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:27,680
Speaker 8: I'm kind of disappointing like my parents and like my

654
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:29,880
Speaker 8: brother in a way, like my brother drinks, but like

655
00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:32,840
Speaker 8: he gives me a lot of shit for it, but

656
00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:35,800
Speaker 8: it wouldn't be a problem. But it's starting to become

657
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:39,839
Speaker 8: something I look forward to every weekend. Yeah, so it's

658
00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:42,680
Speaker 8: starting to really bug me and make me feel like

659
00:45:42,719 --> 00:45:44,000
Speaker 8: a terrible person kind of.

660
00:45:45,440 --> 00:45:48,440
Speaker 1: Okay, so, uh, the drinking and the partying and everything

661
00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:50,279
Speaker 1: has been going on since you were a teen.

662
00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:55,920
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, I mean I didn't really so much. Like

663
00:45:56,239 --> 00:45:57,680
Speaker 8: it wasn't like a ton of partying. It was like,

664
00:45:57,760 --> 00:45:59,560
Speaker 8: especially with COVID, I would just kind of like drink

665
00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:02,239
Speaker 8: with my friend, like at home because okay, we don't

666
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:03,279
Speaker 8: have to go to we didn't have to go to

667
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:04,040
Speaker 8: school anymore.

668
00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:08,759
Speaker 1: And you and you're noticing that that since you were

669
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:10,120
Speaker 1: doing it when you were eighteen, it is it has

670
00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:15,680
Speaker 1: gotten progressively more intense as you've gotten older and as

671
00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 1: you've turned twenty one. Yeah, especially, how how often are

672
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:25,320
Speaker 1: you going out and partying and drinking?

673
00:46:27,640 --> 00:46:30,040
Speaker 8: It's like every Friday and Saturday night.

674
00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:36,359
Speaker 1: Okay, every Friday and Saturday night. And you you say,

675
00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:39,040
Speaker 1: it's not you, that's what you said.

676
00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:42,239
Speaker 8: What do you mean not me?

677
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:45,520
Speaker 1: Isn't that what you said? You said? Yeah, you said

678
00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 1: it's not like you, or or something to the to

679
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:49,400
Speaker 1: the tune of it's not how you want to be.

680
00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:53,160
Speaker 8: Well, it's like I have a like I have a

681
00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:54,719
Speaker 8: good time doing it. I think it's because I have

682
00:46:54,719 --> 00:46:57,040
Speaker 8: so much anxiety. Like once I have a few drinks

683
00:46:57,040 --> 00:46:59,120
Speaker 8: in me, like I just you know, I think everybody

684
00:46:59,160 --> 00:47:02,040
Speaker 8: can relate. Like I feel good and like I feel better,

685
00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:04,719
Speaker 8: but like I wake up the next morning and I

686
00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:08,080
Speaker 8: just like like reflect on myself and I'm just like,

687
00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:10,239
Speaker 8: like the decisions I made, like how much I drink,

688
00:47:10,320 --> 00:47:13,719
Speaker 8: the things like texted people and like that, not you,

689
00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:16,759
Speaker 8: And I just like I feel like it's not like

690
00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:22,200
Speaker 8: the me I resonate with one hund and I just

691
00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:25,080
Speaker 8: feel like shit. And then to like make myself feel better,

692
00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:27,160
Speaker 8: I'll just like drink again not think about it, but

693
00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:29,320
Speaker 8: then I'll feel the same way the next day.

694
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:32,440
Speaker 1: So you're hearing it. So I mean I asked you

695
00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:37,200
Speaker 1: that because you're talking about this like cognitive dissonance between

696
00:47:38,560 --> 00:47:41,240
Speaker 1: who you desire to be, who you feel like you are,

697
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:45,239
Speaker 1: and then who you feel like you are when you're

698
00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:48,840
Speaker 1: out drinking and texting people things that you you feel

699
00:47:48,840 --> 00:47:52,000
Speaker 1: like you shouldn't be texting them. Would tell me more

700
00:47:52,239 --> 00:47:57,880
Speaker 1: about this more ideal version of yourself that you have

701
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:00,359
Speaker 1: in mind.

702
00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:03,359
Speaker 8: I feel like I feel like the most ideal version

703
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:06,000
Speaker 8: of myself was me like five months ago. Like I

704
00:48:06,040 --> 00:48:09,720
Speaker 8: went through a period of me like consistently going to therapy,

705
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:11,480
Speaker 8: like I was going to the gym, I was going

706
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:13,920
Speaker 8: to church and like eating right like I lost this

707
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:16,480
Speaker 8: kind of weight, Like I was doing great, and then

708
00:48:16,520 --> 00:48:19,360
Speaker 8: I fell off when I got sick, like I got COVID.

709
00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:21,320
Speaker 8: So then you know, like I wasn't really eating or

710
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:24,040
Speaker 8: couldn't go to the gym for a while, and instead

711
00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:26,200
Speaker 8: of like just getting right back on it, I just

712
00:48:26,560 --> 00:48:29,560
Speaker 8: fell off. So I started kind of like slowly getting

713
00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:31,840
Speaker 8: into those like drinking habits again and just like eating

714
00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:35,560
Speaker 8: like shit and not being my best self. So like

715
00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:37,960
Speaker 8: I know like what my best self looks like and

716
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:39,960
Speaker 8: what I need to do to get there. But it's like,

717
00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:42,640
Speaker 8: since I'm in this phase of like going out and

718
00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:44,600
Speaker 8: just having fun and being able to go out and

719
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:48,200
Speaker 8: do that, like I don't want to stop. But like, so,

720
00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:50,280
Speaker 8: like you said, the ideal version, Sorry.

721
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:51,560
Speaker 1: So you I mean you told me you were going

722
00:48:51,600 --> 00:48:53,080
Speaker 1: to therapy for a little bit.

723
00:48:54,920 --> 00:48:57,640
Speaker 8: Oh yeah, I had a Really here's the thing. I

724
00:48:57,640 --> 00:49:00,520
Speaker 8: have a wonderful therapist. I've seen her for like a year,

725
00:49:00,560 --> 00:49:02,839
Speaker 8: but she got into legal trouble, so I haven't been

726
00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:04,200
Speaker 8: able to see her for a few months.

727
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:08,600
Speaker 1: Oh geez, well, I mean I mean that aside when

728
00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:12,319
Speaker 1: you were going to therapy, What did you discuss these

729
00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:14,319
Speaker 1: kinds of issues with your therapist? And if you did,

730
00:49:14,320 --> 00:49:15,359
Speaker 1: what do they tell you about it?

731
00:49:18,200 --> 00:49:18,399
Speaker 3: Yeah?

732
00:49:18,440 --> 00:49:20,920
Speaker 8: I did, And like I don't know if anybody else,

733
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:24,080
Speaker 8: like anybody that's listening has gone like like your surface

734
00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:26,719
Speaker 8: will kind of tell you things without like they'll try

735
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:28,040
Speaker 8: to like tell you the right things, but they want

736
00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:29,839
Speaker 8: you to like figure it out on your own, so

737
00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:31,560
Speaker 8: like they're not gonna like she wouldn't like sit there

738
00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:34,000
Speaker 8: and tell me like, hey, here's what you should do.

739
00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:36,399
Speaker 1: Well, well give me okay. So she's telling you things

740
00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:38,040
Speaker 1: to help you try to figure it out on your own.

741
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:42,279
Speaker 1: Tell us what what those things are shed.

742
00:49:42,239 --> 00:49:46,239
Speaker 8: She'd kind of. I think I like do it as

743
00:49:46,239 --> 00:49:49,719
Speaker 8: a way to just like like escape my anxiety and

744
00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:54,319
Speaker 8: like get attention, especially from guys and stuff. And you know,

745
00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:56,759
Speaker 8: it's it's of course easier to do that after you've

746
00:49:56,920 --> 00:49:58,640
Speaker 8: had a few drinks in you. So I feel like

747
00:49:58,680 --> 00:50:05,200
Speaker 8: I use it kind of as almost like Okay.

748
00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:09,799
Speaker 1: So you're you're seeing you're seeing it as a way

749
00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 1: to escape anxiety and get attention. Yeah, so what what

750
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:18,640
Speaker 1: do you this anxiety that you're escaping? What do you

751
00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:20,680
Speaker 1: what do you think you're anxious about?

752
00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:26,480
Speaker 8: It's like like from therapy, Like I know, it's like

753
00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:32,439
Speaker 8: anxiety from like my family and schools aig stressor right now? Yeah,

754
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:35,359
Speaker 8: and like money and stuff And even though I don't

755
00:50:35,360 --> 00:50:37,840
Speaker 8: have money, like I just continue to go out and

756
00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:38,960
Speaker 8: get drinks from guys and.

757
00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:44,359
Speaker 1: Stuff like just because listen, you know, I'm I'm I'm

758
00:50:44,360 --> 00:50:47,000
Speaker 1: obviously not a real therapist, but I do feel like

759
00:50:49,200 --> 00:50:51,320
Speaker 1: you know, you you talking about these things in therapy

760
00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:54,640
Speaker 1: and exploring the kind of underlying reasons as to why

761
00:50:54,680 --> 00:51:00,080
Speaker 1: you do things could key you in is to like, Okay, well,

762
00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:03,880
Speaker 1: if I'm anxious or if I want attention, first of all,

763
00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:06,640
Speaker 1: why am I anxious? Why am I Why do I

764
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:09,000
Speaker 1: want attention? And then second of all, are there healthier

765
00:51:09,040 --> 00:51:14,160
Speaker 1: ways to deal with that anxiety and that need for

766
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:21,200
Speaker 1: attention then you know, to to get twisted? M hmm,

767
00:51:23,320 --> 00:51:25,280
Speaker 1: And I don't I don't know. I feel like that's

768
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:28,600
Speaker 1: the kind of thing that that they tell you about

769
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:31,080
Speaker 1: this stuff. So I mean, if we can get into it.

770
00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:37,919
Speaker 1: What other ways do you feel like you could deal

771
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:39,040
Speaker 1: with your anxiety?

772
00:51:41,960 --> 00:51:44,120
Speaker 8: Like, honestly, I know as cliches, it sounds like when

773
00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:46,239
Speaker 8: I was going to the gym and like taking care

774
00:51:46,239 --> 00:51:48,759
Speaker 8: of myself and like what I ate, Like I was

775
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:51,960
Speaker 8: so like mentally I felt like the best that I

776
00:51:52,040 --> 00:51:55,560
Speaker 8: had in a really long time, and going to therapy

777
00:51:55,600 --> 00:51:59,160
Speaker 8: consistently really helped. But like I was so comfortable with

778
00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:01,400
Speaker 8: her and like she knew everything about me, so like

779
00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:04,520
Speaker 8: trying to find another one and like convey all my

780
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:10,399
Speaker 8: like issues in my life and every it's a whole thing,

781
00:52:10,480 --> 00:52:12,680
Speaker 8: you know, And it's more money, which I don't have

782
00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:14,520
Speaker 8: right now because I'm in college, and it's just like

783
00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:17,399
Speaker 8: so it's like I know the steps to get there.

784
00:52:17,880 --> 00:52:20,680
Speaker 8: It's just a matter of like taking those steps.

785
00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:25,120
Speaker 1: What about what about the attention thing?

786
00:52:25,160 --> 00:52:25,359
Speaker 3: Why?

787
00:52:25,440 --> 00:52:30,360
Speaker 1: Why do you feel like you're your clamoring for attention

788
00:52:30,520 --> 00:52:31,120
Speaker 1: from people?

789
00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:37,879
Speaker 8: Probably gotty issues. I've talked about that in therapy too,

790
00:52:38,800 --> 00:52:40,759
Speaker 8: and it's like I realize it, but it's like I

791
00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:41,560
Speaker 8: don't know what to do.

792
00:52:41,560 --> 00:52:44,640
Speaker 1: To fix it. What what is your therapist tell you

793
00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:46,440
Speaker 1: about about those issues?

794
00:52:49,120 --> 00:52:53,080
Speaker 8: She's so kind of shell like explain it like she'll like,

795
00:52:53,640 --> 00:52:56,840
Speaker 8: when I make these decisions, she'll tell me, she's like, well, like,

796
00:52:57,520 --> 00:53:00,880
Speaker 8: so this is why you're doing this, most likely because

797
00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:04,239
Speaker 8: as you were like raised, your dad acted this way

798
00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:08,160
Speaker 8: blah blah blah. Huh, and but I don't know how

799
00:53:08,239 --> 00:53:10,439
Speaker 8: to really like like she'll tell me why, but it's

800
00:53:10,480 --> 00:53:11,000
Speaker 8: like I don't.

801
00:53:11,719 --> 00:53:13,160
Speaker 1: But it's like I don't know what to do with

802
00:53:13,200 --> 00:53:13,960
Speaker 1: this information.

803
00:53:15,280 --> 00:53:17,000
Speaker 8: Yeah, it's like I'm hearing you, but it's like what

804
00:53:17,040 --> 00:53:21,600
Speaker 8: do I what do I do to get that validation

805
00:53:21,719 --> 00:53:25,319
Speaker 8: and that like by not acting like I look not.

806
00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:28,359
Speaker 1: To not to play therapist, although I guess that's what

807
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:34,200
Speaker 1: I'm always doing all the time. But this like need

808
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:36,799
Speaker 1: for attention, does it come from any any kind of

809
00:53:36,840 --> 00:53:41,760
Speaker 1: like a low self esteem?

810
00:53:41,880 --> 00:53:49,880
Speaker 8: M I don't. It might, but it's like and this

811
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:51,560
Speaker 8: might sound like self centered, but like I don't have

812
00:53:51,600 --> 00:53:55,040
Speaker 8: a problem like getting attention from guys like if I

813
00:53:55,120 --> 00:53:57,799
Speaker 8: want it. So it's like I don't know why I

814
00:53:57,880 --> 00:54:01,279
Speaker 8: go out of my way to like get more and more.

815
00:54:01,960 --> 00:54:04,319
Speaker 1: I mean, do you feel like you're do you feel

816
00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:05,840
Speaker 1: like you're addicted to the validation?

817
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:08,400
Speaker 5: Yes?

818
00:54:09,560 --> 00:54:15,160
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, it make sure yeah, yeah, I mean you

819
00:54:15,239 --> 00:54:18,000
Speaker 1: know that's a common thing for a lot of people

820
00:54:18,040 --> 00:54:22,720
Speaker 1: getting addicted to kind of outside validation in my personal life.

821
00:54:22,800 --> 00:54:26,399
Speaker 1: You know, I've I've had plenty of eras where I've

822
00:54:26,400 --> 00:54:32,959
Speaker 1: been addicted to you know, validation, and it's I found

823
00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:36,919
Speaker 1: it gets better when you try to form some kind

824
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:42,480
Speaker 1: of your best off your best defense against that is

825
00:54:42,520 --> 00:54:49,040
Speaker 1: to build some kind of internal structure of self validation.

826
00:54:49,239 --> 00:54:51,040
Speaker 1: It's something I feel like we've talked about on here

827
00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:54,400
Speaker 1: a lot, and something that I'm always, always, always, always

828
00:54:54,400 --> 00:55:00,120
Speaker 1: thinking about just in real life and ship. I I

829
00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:04,400
Speaker 1: don't I don't have a I don't have a set

830
00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:07,680
Speaker 1: in stone road map on how to do that, but

831
00:55:07,840 --> 00:55:10,080
Speaker 1: I know that if, if, if that's one of the

832
00:55:10,080 --> 00:55:14,080
Speaker 1: big issues you're struggling with, then you you kind of

833
00:55:14,239 --> 00:55:17,640
Speaker 1: would would would likely benefit from walking down the road

834
00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:22,319
Speaker 1: of at least attempting to do that. Because if if

835
00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:26,840
Speaker 1: you don't have any kind of internal validation or or

836
00:55:27,640 --> 00:55:33,040
Speaker 1: sense of self or understanding of yourself as a certain

837
00:55:33,160 --> 00:55:39,480
Speaker 1: kind of person that you can be proud of, then

838
00:55:39,520 --> 00:55:42,759
Speaker 1: you're just gonna get fucking jostled around by the chaotic

839
00:55:42,880 --> 00:55:47,759
Speaker 1: winds of other people's opinions and validations. Which is is uh,

840
00:55:48,400 --> 00:55:57,040
Speaker 1: you know, a a hard way to live. Yeah, sure,

841
00:55:58,480 --> 00:56:01,000
Speaker 1: so I guess I guess those two things, the building

842
00:56:01,719 --> 00:56:05,920
Speaker 1: of the internal confidence and then fuck, what was the

843
00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:09,080
Speaker 1: other thing we talked about that was for the attention thing?

844
00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:12,640
Speaker 1: And then there was the anxiety thing? What do we

845
00:56:12,640 --> 00:56:15,480
Speaker 1: say about the anxiety thing? I forgot?

846
00:56:16,560 --> 00:56:17,360
Speaker 8: I forgot too.

847
00:56:18,080 --> 00:56:23,120
Speaker 1: Okay, hold on, we're going I'm gonna remember it. Oh well,

848
00:56:23,160 --> 00:56:31,040
Speaker 1: good thing we recorded this? Okay, with anxiety your therapist?

849
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:34,360
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, ways to deal with anxiety? Oh yeah, okay,

850
00:56:34,400 --> 00:56:36,080
Speaker 1: it was you. Was you talking about going to the

851
00:56:36,120 --> 00:56:41,439
Speaker 1: gym and fucking eating stuff? I mean that's how I look.

852
00:56:41,480 --> 00:56:42,960
Speaker 1: I I do a lot of things to deal with

853
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:45,440
Speaker 1: my anxiety that are unhealthy. I don't I'm gonna be

854
00:56:45,520 --> 00:56:47,880
Speaker 1: a hypocrite here. I'm eating candy, I don't go to

855
00:56:47,920 --> 00:56:51,160
Speaker 1: the gym. I'm fucking That's how I deal with my

856
00:56:51,200 --> 00:56:54,839
Speaker 1: anxiety is through unhealthy COPD mechanisms. But yeah, I think

857
00:56:54,840 --> 00:56:57,680
Speaker 1: we both know that the cliche but correct answer to

858
00:56:57,719 --> 00:57:01,279
Speaker 1: our issues is to, you know, do all the shit

859
00:57:01,400 --> 00:57:06,040
Speaker 1: that every single person has been raving about forever, which

860
00:57:06,120 --> 00:57:09,279
Speaker 1: is to eat healthy and exercise. But hey, let me

861
00:57:09,320 --> 00:57:12,080
Speaker 1: know if that works for you, because maybe I'll do it. Myself.

862
00:57:13,920 --> 00:57:15,480
Speaker 8: Yeah, I need to get back on it, and I

863
00:57:15,560 --> 00:57:17,760
Speaker 8: just need to not give myself such a hard time

864
00:57:17,880 --> 00:57:20,360
Speaker 8: for I guess, like living my life, I just need

865
00:57:20,360 --> 00:57:21,480
Speaker 8: to like tone it down.

866
00:57:21,320 --> 00:57:25,000
Speaker 1: A little bit. Yeah, I mean, look, don't you know.

867
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:28,960
Speaker 1: I mean this is a hard thing because I mean look,

868
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:33,280
Speaker 1: if you if you enjoy going out and doing your

869
00:57:33,280 --> 00:57:42,680
Speaker 1: thing and you find yourself getting genuine, positive social interactions

870
00:57:42,720 --> 00:57:48,160
Speaker 1: and life experiences out of it, then that's good. But

871
00:57:49,720 --> 00:57:52,480
Speaker 1: keep an eye on it, you know, because I think once,

872
00:57:53,120 --> 00:57:54,840
Speaker 1: once you're looking at it and like, well, no, these

873
00:57:54,920 --> 00:57:59,919
Speaker 1: nights out aren't giving me positive life experiences and cool

874
00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:04,680
Speaker 1: stories and human connection, but are really just kind of

875
00:58:04,720 --> 00:58:08,280
Speaker 1: serving the darker sides of what I desire, then it

876
00:58:08,360 --> 00:58:10,200
Speaker 1: might be time to try to slow it down. But

877
00:58:10,880 --> 00:58:12,600
Speaker 1: you know, I guess just try to keep an eye

878
00:58:12,640 --> 00:58:19,240
Speaker 1: on it. Yeah, yeah, is there anything else you want

879
00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:20,840
Speaker 1: to say to the people the computer before we go?

880
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:25,440
Speaker 8: No, but thanks for talking to me, and I'm glad

881
00:58:25,440 --> 00:58:26,280
Speaker 8: I got through finally.

882
00:58:27,040 --> 00:58:31,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks for talking to me too. I will see

883
00:58:31,280 --> 00:58:35,160
Speaker 1: you around on the computer, Eva. Thank Yeah, I love

884
00:58:35,200 --> 00:58:41,480
Speaker 1: you Greg Eva forever. Oh yeah, that was an interesting

885
00:58:41,520 --> 00:58:43,360
Speaker 1: cart That was something I feel like i've talked about

886
00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:50,440
Speaker 1: a hundred times, the building of internal confidence and trying

887
00:58:50,480 --> 00:58:55,000
Speaker 1: not to eat shitty. Every time I give the whole,

888
00:58:55,040 --> 00:59:00,440
Speaker 1: I give the building of internal confidence. Speech makes me

889
00:59:00,480 --> 00:59:04,320
Speaker 1: think about myself. I think about how much I've built

890
00:59:04,720 --> 00:59:08,680
Speaker 1: an internal confidence, and I think I'm getting pretty good.

891
00:59:09,040 --> 00:59:11,240
Speaker 1: I think I'm getting pretty good, but I don't know.

892
00:59:11,360 --> 00:59:15,200
Speaker 1: I'm waiting for somebody to say something to me, or

893
00:59:18,280 --> 00:59:22,760
Speaker 1: something bad to happen to me, or anything like that

894
00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:27,440
Speaker 1: where I can really test to found my foundation. But

895
00:59:27,480 --> 00:59:32,240
Speaker 1: it hasn't happened yet. And then with the eating thing,

896
00:59:33,920 --> 00:59:39,120
Speaker 1: I mean, fuck, I ate like three almond joys before

897
00:59:39,160 --> 00:59:42,800
Speaker 1: I came on here. I probably shouldn't do that.

898
00:59:43,320 --> 00:59:47,440
Speaker 3: Ever goes on the line, taking your phone calls every night.

899
00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:50,520
Speaker 1: Everything goes to its teaching you.

900
00:59:50,640 --> 00:59:54,520
Speaker 3: Cloud in the Memory life really an expert