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Speaker 1: Our favorite intimacy expert, Susan Braddon is back. Hi Susan, Hi.

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Speaker 2: Cutie pause. I really nice to see you both today.

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Speaker 1: We're so happy to have you back. I was thinking

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Speaker 1: about traffic for this podcast. Nothing like a little sex

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Speaker 1: talk over coffee, you know.

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Speaker 3: Sex and coffee.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: It's funny because the world has been so heavy lately

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Speaker 3: that our podcast sort of took a turn and Kelly

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Speaker 3: and I were talking. We were like, we need to

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Speaker 3: lighten this stuff up, and she was like, what about

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Speaker 3: we get Susan back when we talked about this and talk.

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Speaker 4: There we go. Now we're talking.

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Speaker 2: Well.

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Speaker 1: When I initially reached out to you to come back

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Speaker 1: on the podcast, I was telling you that we're kind

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Speaker 1: of doing the focus on mental health awareness months and

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Speaker 1: I really like Chip and I were talking. I find

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Speaker 1: sex and intimacy to be such an important part of

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Speaker 1: mental and emotional health, yet it doesn't seem like something.

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Speaker 4: We absolutely talk about a lot.

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Speaker 1: Can you speak to that a little bit, like just

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Speaker 1: the importance of sex and intimacy for our mental health?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, there's two things that come immediately to mind.

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Speaker 2: I mean I could probably do I could probably do

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Speaker 2: a two hour monologue on all the reasons why you

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Speaker 2: want to keep attention on your sex life, especially when

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Speaker 2: you're feeling anxious, depressed, et cetera. But there's two big

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Speaker 2: things that come to mind. Okay, the very first one

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Speaker 2: is physiological, which is that when you have an I'm

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Speaker 2: going to say, when you have orgasms, it reboots your

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Speaker 2: nervous system. And a lot of sexperts will say, take

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Speaker 2: the focus off of orgasm, just enjoy the pleasure. And

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Speaker 2: I really call malarkey on that, because orgasms are just

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Speaker 2: learned skills and if you think, oh, I'm just not

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Speaker 2: the kind of person who can have that, then all

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Speaker 2: of a sudden, you are, you know, not even trying anymore. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and how I got to switch my position here? I'm

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Speaker 2: icing my knee. I had a skiing accident.

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Speaker 4: And have a sex injury. I never know what you.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, it is making my it's making my it's putting

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Speaker 2: a crimp in my sex position. I know that bullshit. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I mean I have to be I'm like an one

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Speaker 2: hundred year old lady in bed last night. I want

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Speaker 2: to tell you about the super hot sex state I

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Speaker 2: had with my husband. But I'll answer your question first,

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Speaker 2: I was wiggling around and you can hear the eyes.

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Speaker 4: I'm making a note, So we don't forget that.

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Speaker 2: So Number one thing is that sex orgasms are a

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Speaker 2: learned skill. So if you don't think you can have them,

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Speaker 2: if you get this in your mind. Honestly, it's a

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Speaker 2: mindset issue more than it is anything else. Orgasm, and

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Speaker 2: so if you know what to do and you believe

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Speaker 2: you can do it, you will do it, and you

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Speaker 2: can have all the twenty kinds of orgasms that the

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Speaker 2: male and female body that the holmost that we Homo

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Speaker 2: sapiens can have. And the best thing about having sex

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Speaker 2: is having orgasms. However you do it. It doesn't have

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Speaker 2: to be through penetration. It can be anything. Use your

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Speaker 2: vibrator's solo pleasuring. And when you do it reboots your

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Speaker 2: nervous system. It's literally like pushing the reset button. And

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Speaker 2: when it floods you with all those feel good neuro

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Speaker 2: transmitters and you get that endocrine cascade and you get

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Speaker 2: that literal reboot to your system, it just makes you

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Speaker 2: have a better reset. Now that being said, there are

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Speaker 2: some people who are literally too depressed or too anxious

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Speaker 2: to enjoy intimacy. So I definitely understand that it's not

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Speaker 2: available to everyone that's listening, but if you have the

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Speaker 2: possibility to have pleasure, I really want to encourage you

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Speaker 2: to try to find a path to take it because

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Speaker 2: it is singularly one of the best things that and

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Speaker 2: walks in nature and healthy food and quality water and

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Speaker 2: you know, just movement, nutrition, self care and self care

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Speaker 2: includes hashtag self care down there, so it's really really important.

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Speaker 2: And then the second piece of it is that when

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Speaker 2: you have intimacy, and you have intimacy with a partner,

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Speaker 2: it brings you closer. It's an emotional bonding opportunity, and

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Speaker 2: it gives you practice at opening your heart and connecting

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Speaker 2: with others, and that makes you feel less alone and

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Speaker 2: less like you're in your particular soup. You know that

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Speaker 2: you're in your emotional soup. And so it's really those

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Speaker 2: two reasons that I think are the biggest ones. The

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Speaker 2: hormone cascade and the feeling closer and connected the reboot

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Speaker 2: and the endercrine cascade, the body base and then the

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Speaker 2: heart based the emotion based piece of it, and they

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Speaker 2: really are two sides of the same coin. And if

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Speaker 2: you take away having sex from the notion that it

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Speaker 2: means intercourse, because that's a very kind of patriarchal religious orientation.

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Speaker 2: Sexes for procreational burning owl. If you don't do it,

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Speaker 2: if you do anything else masturbational making, you grow in

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Speaker 2: your palms. I'm trying to sound like the freakiest person

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Speaker 2: I possibly. You know, that's all bull everything, everything's included.

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Speaker 2: It's ai always included, and uh so whatever. Your path

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Speaker 2: to pleasure and connection is connection to yourself above all,

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Speaker 2: and connection to a partner. If you're lucky to have one,

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Speaker 2: just start baby steps, you know. It's interesting. One of

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Speaker 2: the programs that I that I have that I publish

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Speaker 2: because I'm a publisher of Passionate Love Making Techniques and

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Speaker 2: Bedroom Communication Skills is a program that is primarily targeted

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Speaker 2: to men. It's called the Seduction trilogycer Tonight, the Seduction

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Speaker 2: Accelerator and how to Be Her Sexual Trainer, how to

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Speaker 2: help your partner overcome all of the societal down line crapola.

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Speaker 2: We've been fed about being sluts if we're you know,

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Speaker 2: sexy and all this kind of stuff. And the skill

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Speaker 2: that it teaches, the single skill that it teaches is

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Speaker 2: this notion of running small offers because men are generally

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Speaker 2: hornier than women right at the outset. They've got a

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Speaker 2: lot of testosterone, they masturbate onodaily, they get really fast

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Speaker 2: erections where women don't have any of those particular things.

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Speaker 2: In large measure, that's a tinier amount for us, and

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Speaker 2: so we're not as like ready to go, and so

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Speaker 2: we have to we have to help our guys slow

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Speaker 2: down and turn around and come back and get us.

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Speaker 2: And sex can seem like an insurmountable chore for us

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Speaker 2: when we're not turned on yet. And so I teach

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Speaker 2: men this, I call it. It's actually at more sexmoreoten

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Speaker 2: dot com. You might want to put that in the

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Speaker 2: notes more sex more often, because that's what guys want.

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Speaker 2: They want more sex more often, and like make it simple.

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Speaker 2: And it really teaches this idea of how do you

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Speaker 2: make a woman small offers? And I think when people

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Speaker 2: have anxiety, when they have depression, they could get there

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Speaker 2: if we took more time making smaller offers of pleasure

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Speaker 2: to our partners. And so in that book, it teaches

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Speaker 2: you a bunch of ideas of what smaller offers are

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Speaker 2: and why that's so important. And that's a free download.

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Speaker 2: Actually that's a free kind of introduction to the Seduction

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Speaker 2: Trilogy that your listeners can just go and get more

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Speaker 2: sex more often. And I think that of all things,

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Speaker 2: because performance anxiety is the number one thing that everybody

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Speaker 2: struggles with around the intersection of you know, their emotional

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Speaker 2: mental situation and their actual in the set time in

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Speaker 2: the saddle if you.

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Speaker 1: Will, Yeah, I mean you're touching on basically all the

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Speaker 1: topics I wanted to touch on, which is great. But because

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Speaker 1: I do look at the mental health piece as it

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Speaker 1: relates to sex and intimacy as those two different issues,

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Speaker 1: it's like the one part of it is it's a

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Speaker 1: basic human need and like I do feel like societally

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Speaker 1: we're starting to discuss that more openly, but for so long,

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Speaker 1: just as you're saying, especially for women, it's been very

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Speaker 1: taboo to talk about and so we kind of file

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Speaker 1: it into this box that's not really that important for

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Speaker 1: our survival, when in reality it really is, Like it's

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Speaker 1: a major pleasure point, which you touched on a lot

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Speaker 1: in the last podcast, but I hear you even talking

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Speaker 1: today about mentally, like all the chemicals that are released

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Speaker 1: so emotionally for our nervous system, like a really a

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Speaker 1: deep way to reset. I really think that that's true.

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Speaker 1: But then on the other side of it, if you're

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Speaker 1: in a hard place, going through life transitions or stress,

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Speaker 1: or maybe you've had a bay or anything like that,

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Speaker 1: it does seem like our mental and emotional state can

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Speaker 1: kind of block us to sexual intimacy, either with ourselves

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Speaker 1: or with a partner. So I love that you're touching

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Speaker 1: on ways that a man can help a woman maybe

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Speaker 1: kind of reconnect to that. Are there other tips that

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Speaker 1: come to minds immediately for you, for all of us

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Speaker 1: with that, Like if we're going through you know, I

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Speaker 1: think the whole world went through a really hard time

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Speaker 1: during the pandemic and things like that, Like what are

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Speaker 1: ways that we can help ourselves get to the place

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Speaker 1: of intimacy when we're going through stressful times?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, because I want to add to that question too,

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Speaker 3: because when I'm you know, one thing that would concern

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Speaker 3: me if I were in a relationship with someone that

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Speaker 3: was in a dark place is how to not make

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Speaker 3: it feel like you're being selfish, Like it's something that

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Speaker 3: you want, Like how do you make sure that you're

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Speaker 3: communicating in a way that it's about actually pulling them

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Speaker 3: out of a hole versus you just getting.

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Speaker 4: Your rock soft, getting your needs.

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Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, exactly. Well that goes back to the

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Speaker 2: smaller offers kind of thing and extending for play in

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Speaker 2: ways that And I don't even like the term for

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Speaker 2: play and sex because it goes back to that whole

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Speaker 2: patriarchal construct of sex is just intercourse and everything has

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Speaker 2: to lead up to it. So I think I would

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Speaker 2: like to tell you about the sex date that I

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Speaker 2: had last night with certainly my husband of thirty years

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Speaker 2: next month.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, grad.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, good for you, and man, was it good last night.

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Speaker 2: I'm literally right now, I'm taking off her sweater right now,

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Speaker 2: she's sweating. I got all excited.

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Speaker 4: I got a flash.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, geez, this is not a strip tea.

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Speaker 2: This is like my fear. So last night we started

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Speaker 2: almost all of my love making dates now start with

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Speaker 2: rubbing pain cream into something.

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Speaker 4: I'd see whatever it takes. At sixty one, Yes.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes things hurt because I work out every day, so

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Speaker 2: I'm actually on my I'm in my workout clothes, icing

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Speaker 2: my knee on my way to work out. When we're

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Speaker 2: done recording this podcast.

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Speaker 4: You should know that.

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Speaker 1: Chips Side text me and said, she looks amazing, amazing,

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Speaker 1: whatever worse.

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Speaker 2: It's a it's a lot of orgasms, exercise, cryout, red

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Speaker 2: light and vasper. It's like an exer It's like an

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Speaker 2: exer bike kind of thing that uses blood flow restriction

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Speaker 2: that holds more lactic acid in your limbs. So that

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Speaker 2: and it cools you down and you do high intensity

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Speaker 2: interval training and you can train harder because you're cooler,

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Speaker 2: and the lactic acid build up that you get is

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Speaker 2: greater than working out for an hour or an hour

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Speaker 2: and a half, and you do it in twenty minutes.

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Speaker 2: I do it after my workout. And then the lactic

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Speaker 2: acid signals the pituitary gland to release an endocrin cascade

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Speaker 2: of growth hormone, testosterone, all feel good neurotransmitters, et cetera.

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Speaker 2: And that lays down more muscle all over your body.

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Speaker 2: And it doesn't rip things up to build them afresh

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Speaker 2: like weightlifting does. It's not hormesis. It's just new muscle tissue.

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Speaker 2: And I'll tell you something last night, and I want

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Speaker 2: to skip too far into the hot sex day, but

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Speaker 2: last night I was calgirl style on Sir Tim, And

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Speaker 2: because I had this interesting experience, I want to ship

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Speaker 2: a share because it's like a mental health kind of insight.

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Speaker 2: I was sliding down on top of him and I

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Speaker 2: was like, feel these squads, feel them daddy onto him?

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Speaker 2: Aren't great? You know, Like I'm super solid at sixty one,

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Speaker 2: which is amazing too. It turns me on to be

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Speaker 2: so strong. I feel like Barbie the Barbarian, you know.

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Speaker 2: I just I'm the Glamazon, you know. I'm like, it

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Speaker 2: really makes you feel so good. All that extra testosterone

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Speaker 2: doesn't hurt a bit with your libido either, I tell

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Speaker 2: you right. So anyway, I work out every day and

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Speaker 2: there's always something. I had a ski accident, whatever, I

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Speaker 2: hurt my foot, whatever, There's always some little thing. And

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Speaker 2: so my love making dates start with my lover rubbing

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Speaker 2: pain cream into everything that hurts. And I love that

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Speaker 2: THHC CBD pain cream we can get here in California.

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Speaker 2: As a matter of fact, my mother, who has eighty

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Speaker 2: five extreme back issues and she would have to be

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Speaker 2: on opioids to just survive, she survives with no problem

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Speaker 2: using the THC pain cream on her back and legs.

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Speaker 2: It's that good topically so that release is it. We

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Speaker 2: just like my husband will lean up against the headboard

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Speaker 2: in the bed, I'll have my head at the foot

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Speaker 2: of the bed under a pillow. I'll drape my knees

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Speaker 2: in this case, it was my knees and my ankles

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Speaker 2: over him, and he'll just rub and we'll talk and

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Speaker 2: we'll chat and we'll connect because we've worked together for

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Speaker 2: seventeen of the thirty years we've been together, and we've

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Speaker 2: been together so long that sometimes we barely even have

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Speaker 2: to talk to each other, and other times what we're

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Speaker 2: talking about our business things. So it's really nice for

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Speaker 2: us to have some space in our sex life to

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Speaker 2: just connect our hearts and talk about whatever and just

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Speaker 2: relax together. Yeah, because relaxation is the foundation of arousal.

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Speaker 2: You can't get turned on until you're relaxed. And this

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Speaker 2: is where a lot of perform Rorman's anxiety comes. It

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Speaker 2: comes from, oh, my god, I have to be ready

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Speaker 2: for intercourse. I'm not ready, or the guys are like,

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Speaker 2: what if I don't last long enough or what if

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Speaker 2: I don't make or have an orgasm? And so there's

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Speaker 2: just performance anxiety for both parties. And when you start

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Speaker 2: with just connecting and laughing and rubbing and touching. It's

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Speaker 2: just it's just such a nice way to start. And

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Speaker 2: then after he rubbed me, I iced because I had to.

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Speaker 2: He got all that fluid moving and all that limph moving.

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Speaker 2: So he went and he was working on launching My

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Speaker 2: Only Fans vip perks. I launched an Only Fans this

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Speaker 2: year since I've seen.

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Speaker 4: You, Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 2: I wanted a place where I could have beautiful photos

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Speaker 2: of a sixty one year old woman who I mean,

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Speaker 2: I would just have to remove this kind of agistness

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Speaker 2: about beauty. And I wanted to be able to talk

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Speaker 2: about techniques and things that I can't talk about on Instagram,

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Speaker 2: which is where I still have most of my followers.

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Speaker 2: And so so I just created this and this is

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Speaker 2: another interesting mental health piece. I just launched these and

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Speaker 2: I will pick up all these threads, don't you worry.

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Speaker 2: I just launched this Quiet Vibe Awards today. I'm launching

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Speaker 2: my Quiet Vibe Awards. I found the ten quietest, most

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Speaker 2: powerful different types of sex toys that I think are

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Speaker 2: really great for singles, couples, male bodies, female bodies. The

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Speaker 2: top ten, and that's because I'm a highly sensitive person.

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Speaker 2: And a lot of people who have mental issues are

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Speaker 2: highly sensitive people. And that is genetics. It's genetics. We're

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Speaker 2: born highly sensitive. There are no tags on my clothes.

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Speaker 2: I hate scratchy stuff. I hate loud noises, I hate

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Speaker 2: repetitive noises. I hate, you know, all kinds of things

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Speaker 2: like that. And so I don't like toys that are

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Speaker 2: noisy because they take me out of my turn on.

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Speaker 2: And I know there are a lot of people who

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Speaker 2: live in homes with their children, or they live in

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Speaker 2: a community or roommate situation. They don't want everybody knowing

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Speaker 2: they're using a sex toy. And so I launched the

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Speaker 2: Quiet Vibe Awards, and I did a video series where

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Speaker 2: I show how to use them and what I like

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Speaker 2: about them on video in my new VIP Perks. And

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Speaker 2: so he ran and he was kind of nursing that

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Speaker 2: and getting that launched in time for this morning. And

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Speaker 2: then he came back after my knee was iced, and

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Speaker 2: he gave me a Yoni massage, and he gave me

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Speaker 2: the most long, languorous yoni massage in the history of

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Speaker 2: woman cuffed and yoni. Yoni is a tonric love making word.

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Speaker 2: It's actually a Sanskrit word that means the female eurogenital system,

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Speaker 2: all the parts. And the reason I like yoni instead

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Speaker 2: of vulva or vagina. Vagina is patriarchal. It's just all

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Speaker 2: that matters is what I stick my penis in uh,

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Speaker 2: And vulva is really only the face, the outer face

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Speaker 2: of the vaginal area. It's not all the good bits,

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Speaker 2: the buried pleasure. And so I love the word yoni

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Speaker 2: because it sounds like my little yoni even though mine's giant,

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Speaker 2: and it's so nice because it's everything. And what I

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Speaker 2: try to get across to couples is start your love

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Speaker 2: making ssh with a yoni massage or some pain cream

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Speaker 2: if you need it. You're like a oh mama like me,

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Speaker 2: and start with that because that's what brings all that

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Speaker 2: blood flow to all her a rectile tissue. Because if

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Speaker 2: you think about a penis, you know you've got a banana,

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Speaker 2: Well you think that, Okay, that's a penis. A banana

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Speaker 2: is a penis. Half of his banana sticks out of

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Speaker 2: his body, half of it sticks down and in toward

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Speaker 2: his testicles. So if you take all that fruit of

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Speaker 2: that banana, it's a pretty large amount of a rectile

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Speaker 2: tissue in a man's penis, take it out, turn it

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Speaker 2: into a circle with a point at the top, and

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Speaker 2: then lift the cover off the vulva, lift the skin

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Speaker 2: off and PLoP it right inside there around the vaginal canal.

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Speaker 2: And literally, we have as much a rectile tissue as

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Speaker 2: our male bodied partners. But it's all these nooks and crannies.

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Speaker 2: It's little arms and little legs, and a little sponge

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Speaker 2: and a little tube and a you know, and a

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Speaker 2: shaft and a little tip, and there's all these pieces

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Speaker 2: to ours. It's not so simple. Oh my god, if

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Speaker 2: you could just use the yoni. And by the way,

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Speaker 2: the penis is called the lingam in Sanskrit, if you

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Speaker 2: could just compare the yoni to the female and the

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Speaker 2: lingam to the male, straight shot, single minded. Here he goes, boom,

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Speaker 2: he's ready to go. The yoni is like, I've got

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Speaker 2: nooks and crannies. It's gonna take me all this thing

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Speaker 2: to get warmed up. That's the difference between men and

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Speaker 2: women right there, right down.

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Speaker 4: It's like like that's like a biology.

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Speaker 1: Can you tell the listeners a little bit about a

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Speaker 1: yoni massage, because this is something that i've learned a

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Speaker 1: little bit about in the last couple of years, But like,

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Speaker 1: how did your husband learn how to do that? What

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Speaker 1: is it?

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Speaker 4: I'm sure Chip loves this conversation. Well, but I know

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Speaker 4: there's a lot of lady learning.

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Speaker 2: You know, there's always Zonies and Liams, and they both

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Speaker 2: love erotic massage. So I learned it by It's really

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Speaker 2: the thing that saved my marriage in all honesty to

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Speaker 2: almost twenty years ago, and the thing that got me

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Speaker 2: into my second career as a sexpert in my forties,

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Speaker 2: when I hadn't had orgasms from intercourse. You know, for

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Speaker 2: over a decade of having intercourse with my husband, I

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Speaker 2: didn't want to do it anymore. Wasn't any fun for me.

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Speaker 2: And he's like, all right, well, we got to fix this.

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Speaker 2: How do we have how do we help you across

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Speaker 2: the gasm chasm? Right? How do we cause that orgasm gap?

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Speaker 2: And we learned a version of expanded orgasm called orgasmic meditation,

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Speaker 2: which is a literal st broking technique that helps women

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Speaker 2: have really incredible orgasms by very very lightly stroking their

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Speaker 2: c literal structure. And I started having orgasms from manual stimulation,

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Speaker 2: and then I was able to cross train into orgasms

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Speaker 2: from intercourse because I learned how to become massively orgasmic

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Speaker 2: with this manual hand stroking technique, and that's what we

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Speaker 2: went on to start our company seventeen years ago, Personal

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Speaker 2: Life Media. We started with expand Her Orgasm Tonight, a

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Speaker 2: program that teaches these these clitteral stroking techniques. And then

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Speaker 2: over time, what I realized was that I didn't want

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Speaker 2: him to start directly on a clteral stroking, that it

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Speaker 2: was actually too fast for me, and I wanted more

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Speaker 2: massage around the outer side of my vulva. I wanted

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Speaker 2: it on my mom's, my outer labia, my groin, my

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Speaker 2: sweet little cheeks. And so over time he just developed

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Speaker 2: this incredible way of activating and enlivening all the tissue

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Speaker 2: in my entire yoni by just systematically rubbing it and

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Speaker 2: me telling him where I needed most of the rubbing

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Speaker 2: and needing and pulsing and all the different types of

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Speaker 2: things that he does. Sometimes he just takes my yoni

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Speaker 2: and he's just like squishing it, you know, once he

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Speaker 2: gets it warmed up. So we have and if your

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Speaker 2: listeners are interested in how to do this expanded orgasm practice,

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Speaker 2: we have expand Her orgasmtonight dot com, which has three

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Speaker 2: free pleasure reports that give you what is expanded orgasm,

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Speaker 2: how to touch for rapture, and the power of peaking,

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Speaker 2: which is an orgasmic pleasuring technique. It's very, very important

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Speaker 2: for helping women climb the arousal ladder. So Expand Her

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Speaker 2: Orgasms Tonight is where we started, and then we just

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Speaker 2: got better and better and better at these incredibly relaxing

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Speaker 2: Yoni misses. So I laid there, and the nice thing

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Speaker 2: about expanded orgasm practice is that it teaches you as

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Speaker 2: a woman that you are not It removes the performative

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Speaker 2: and the quid pro quo. It removes any requirement for

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Speaker 2: me to be like moaning or writhing or doing anything

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Speaker 2: or touching him in any way. I literally just lie

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Speaker 2: there as quietly as I feel like until my body

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Speaker 2: starts to be able to want to moan. Sometimes it

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Speaker 2: just starts out with my moans of my mouth closed,

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Speaker 2: and then my mouth opens and more moans come out,

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Speaker 2: and then my body starts moving and writhing under his hands.

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Speaker 2: I have learned to wait to allow my body to

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Speaker 2: get turned on. It will get turned on, I trust

401
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:52,760
Speaker 2: it now. I'm over my performance anxiety. Will I be

402
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:56,000
Speaker 2: able to come? Oh, girl, you know you're gonna come, Buckets.

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Speaker 2: You just gotta let yon You just gotta give Yony

404
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Speaker 2: her head. She's just gotta do what she's gonna do

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Speaker 2: that day. It's different every day. Let her do it.

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Speaker 2: And let's all let's both see Tim and I what

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00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:13,640
Speaker 2: Yonie's doing by the sound she makes and how long

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Speaker 2: it takes her and what she wants. And she tells me, oh,

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Speaker 2: I want more light strokes on my inner lady. Oh

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Speaker 2: that spot on my mons that always has like a

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Speaker 2: stitch in it that really needs rub. Oh a little lighter,

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00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:28,399
Speaker 2: it's really stitchy today. Or oh god, it feels so

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Speaker 2: good when you just rub up and down on my

414
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Speaker 2: outer laby. Last night, I really wanted a lot in

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Speaker 2: my groin. I wanted him to like really get right

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Speaker 2: where my leg meets the trunk of my body right

417
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Speaker 2: in there. It really was just I probably from working out.

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Speaker 2: It needed to be released. The belly above the mons

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00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:54,560
Speaker 2: is critical for our blood flow into our pelvis to

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00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:58,880
Speaker 2: engorge all that erectile tissue and plump it up. So basically,

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00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:01,840
Speaker 2: in a nutshell, what he's do doing is he's giving

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00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 2: me a heart on. He's giving me a full volval

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00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:09,080
Speaker 2: heart on, all the tissues getting at all plumped up,

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00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:13,159
Speaker 2: so I get my lady boners. Yeah, and it's not

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00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:18,399
Speaker 2: just about tip of the clip. I recently had an

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Speaker 2: incredible experience just in the last I would say, eight months,

427
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:26,840
Speaker 2: where I was my girlfriend's ecstatic birth partner. She's not

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Speaker 2: my lover, but she wanted to have an ecstatic home birth,

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Speaker 2: and so I gave her Yoni massages on call. She

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Speaker 2: would call me and be like, can I come over?

431
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:37,240
Speaker 2: Can you come over? And I gave her Yoni massages,

432
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:38,959
Speaker 2: and I remember when I began to do to her

433
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:41,199
Speaker 2: what my husband had done to me, because I've never

434
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:45,000
Speaker 2: done this to a woman before. She said, my god,

435
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:52,120
Speaker 2: I've never had anybody do anything other than just stroke

436
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:56,440
Speaker 2: my glitters overly hard and then stick something in my vagina.

437
00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:01,359
Speaker 2: Nobody's ever touched all these parts before. So it's just

438
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:05,439
Speaker 2: this massively cathartic experience to be like, you don't need

439
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:08,560
Speaker 2: to do anything. You don't have to pretend you're coming,

440
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,520
Speaker 2: you don't have to there's nothing for you to do.

441
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:15,199
Speaker 2: You just be and let's see what body is doing. Today,

442
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:20,040
Speaker 2: I am going to lovingly massage every part of your yoni.

443
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:23,320
Speaker 2: And if you don't want me inside, I won't go in.

444
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 2: I'm going to wait a long time before I ask

445
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:29,879
Speaker 2: you if I can enter you. And it's so relaxing

446
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:33,280
Speaker 2: and reverential. And there have been many times over the

447
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:36,040
Speaker 2: last twenty years that he's been doing this to me

448
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:39,280
Speaker 2: that I've said I don't want to go further. That's

449
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:41,960
Speaker 2: all I want, and he's been okay, no problem, because

450
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:47,880
Speaker 2: he knows that if he expects, if I am expected

451
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,200
Speaker 2: to do more and I'm not in the mood for

452
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,200
Speaker 2: it that day. And it's rare, it's maybe like two

453
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:55,000
Speaker 2: percent of all the times I get a yony massage.

454
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm tired, I got to go to bed. Now,

455
00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:00,480
Speaker 2: I'm done. I don't want more. He's like, that's fine, babe,

456
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:03,400
Speaker 2: and he tucks me in. He pulls the covers over

457
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:06,920
Speaker 2: my shoulders and tucks me in and lets me go

458
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:10,320
Speaker 2: to sleep. That's how that's your path to a woman

459
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:14,240
Speaker 2: saying yes to yoni massage every time you offer, or

460
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 2: every time she asks, and being willing to ask for

461
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:20,920
Speaker 2: it because there's no requirement that she does more. She

462
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:25,560
Speaker 2: ninety five ninety eight percent of the time she wants more, Right,

463
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:28,160
Speaker 2: it's that two percent that's the make or break. There's

464
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:32,200
Speaker 2: no need for me to do anything. And then I

465
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:34,720
Speaker 2: want more because I'm not afraid to ask for it.

466
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 2: And then we got good together, and then I got

467
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,639
Speaker 2: real turned on and it was so nice. So he

468
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:45,399
Speaker 2: gave me a Yoni massage and then he went back

469
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:46,960
Speaker 2: and he nursed only fancy. He's like, we already got

470
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:52,240
Speaker 2: three subscribers. It's so.

471
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,480
Speaker 3: Listening to that. It's what's interesting because I know personally,

472
00:27:56,720 --> 00:28:00,040
Speaker 3: something that I've struggled with is the vulnerable vulnerabil I

473
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:06,000
Speaker 3: can't say the word vulnerability of not a feeling like

474
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:09,400
Speaker 3: I'm contributing equally, you know, the quick pro quo things.

475
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:12,119
Speaker 3: And I think it's really important for all listeners to

476
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:17,800
Speaker 3: remember that, Like it's really important to find pleasure in

477
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:21,879
Speaker 3: giving pleasure when you're having sex. Like I told my boyfriend, Like,

478
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:26,520
Speaker 3: the thing that turns me on the most is when

479
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:31,080
Speaker 3: I feel wanted, you know, like feeling wanted, and that's

480
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 3: like all receiving, you know what I mean, It's not

481
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:37,760
Speaker 3: about anything that I'm giving, and it's and it's you know,

482
00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:41,720
Speaker 3: I have struggled with, like feeling like a lazy lover

483
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:44,440
Speaker 3: or whatever, but like hearing you tell this story, it's

484
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 3: like such an important connective tissue. You know, pun intended

485
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:54,840
Speaker 3: of a sexual relationship is to allow someone to give

486
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:59,360
Speaker 3: you pleasure, because if you otherwise, you're rushing it and

487
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:01,120
Speaker 3: you're kind of missing the boat.

488
00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:09,680
Speaker 2: You know, it's very codependent when you feel like you

489
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:12,360
Speaker 2: can't be your authentic self and allow your body to

490
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:16,000
Speaker 2: just respond in the way your body is going to

491
00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 2: respond in that moment when you feel like you have

492
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:22,200
Speaker 2: to give or you have to be a certain way

493
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:27,720
Speaker 2: to get their love. That's actually codependency when you have

494
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:31,800
Speaker 2: when you hold your boundary around I'm going to allow

495
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 2: my body to naturally respond, then your partner knows that

496
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:41,760
Speaker 2: those moons are for real, and that gets gives them

497
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 2: more pleasure than if you were to be like, oh,

498
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:47,240
Speaker 2: maybe this feels so good, but hey, just calm the

499
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:51,200
Speaker 2: fuck down, shut up, lie there, and just enjoy and

500
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:54,600
Speaker 2: allow me to pleasure you and just be real in

501
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:57,400
Speaker 2: your response. The more we can get out of the

502
00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:02,640
Speaker 2: I've got to be doing something and into the I'm

503
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:07,040
Speaker 2: just being here with you and we're seeing what happens together.

504
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:11,480
Speaker 2: It's it actually is more exciting. It's not performative. It's

505
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 2: actually just a responsive and I think that's and you know,

506
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:20,040
Speaker 2: there's that difference between responsive and spontaneous sex, where the

507
00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:22,880
Speaker 2: male body being so much more generally turned on and

508
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:27,400
Speaker 2: ready to go. They are spontane, they're spontaneous. They're built

509
00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:30,760
Speaker 2: to be spontaneous because they have to be ready for

510
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:35,760
Speaker 2: whenever she's ready. So at any moment you can be like,

511
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:38,920
Speaker 2: I'm horny, can we have sex? And pretty much a

512
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:42,160
Speaker 2: male body partner generally will be like, yeah, sure, I'll

513
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:43,400
Speaker 2: be able to get it up for you. Let's go,

514
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:47,560
Speaker 2: because he's he's ready. He's more ready all the time

515
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:50,120
Speaker 2: than the female body. So the Yoni massage is like

516
00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:54,560
Speaker 2: just such a great trick, and then that leads to

517
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:55,680
Speaker 2: more do you want to hear the rest of the

518
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:56,120
Speaker 2: sex day?

519
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:56,920
Speaker 4: Obviously?

520
00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:04,240
Speaker 2: Kay, he's so good. So it comes back he's like

521
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:06,400
Speaker 2: we got three, we got three subscribers, and we're like, okay,

522
00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:10,000
Speaker 2: so much trying to day. And then then that was

523
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:13,520
Speaker 2: in like you know, half an hour or something, right,

524
00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:18,959
Speaker 2: So then what happened next? Oh, oh, I was going

525
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 2: to tell you here's another thread I'm going to pick up. So,

526
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:25,280
Speaker 2: I had a lot of sexual abuse as a child,

527
00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:32,240
Speaker 2: and my stepfather repeatedly abused me and beat me and

528
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:36,720
Speaker 2: did all kinds of horrible things. And I've really generally

529
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:38,120
Speaker 2: come to terms.

530
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 5: With it all.

531
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:42,040
Speaker 2: I've worked with a therapist. I've come to compassion and forgiveness.

532
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:47,280
Speaker 2: I've noticed when it's running me and I readjust and

533
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:50,320
Speaker 2: all of those kinds of things. But I've always had

534
00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:57,560
Speaker 2: this weird thing with intercourse where when I'm penetrated, it

535
00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:01,640
Speaker 2: kind of for a moment makes my arousal down and

536
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:03,760
Speaker 2: I have to kind of really struggle a bit to

537
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:07,440
Speaker 2: adjust to it. And over the last few years, I've

538
00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:11,520
Speaker 2: been working on my cowgirl sex position, learning how to

539
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:16,400
Speaker 2: get myself off on my husband's man cannon as I

540
00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:22,800
Speaker 2: like to come and I have wanted to be on

541
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:26,120
Speaker 2: top so that I have a lot more control over it.

542
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:29,080
Speaker 2: It gives the woman a lot more control over the

543
00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 2: strokes and the depth and the speed and all of

544
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 2: those kinds of things. And so one of the things

545
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:39,160
Speaker 2: I realized just recently was I need to be in

546
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:43,760
Speaker 2: control of the moment of initial penetration, because when I

547
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:48,920
Speaker 2: was penetrated against my will, it set a you know,

548
00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:53,200
Speaker 2: an upset in my body, a trigger, a PTST type

549
00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:56,800
Speaker 2: of a trigger in my body that is too is

550
00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:59,040
Speaker 2: with me to this day, even though I know that

551
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:01,040
Speaker 2: I'm in a totally love being placed with my husband.

552
00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:05,680
Speaker 2: You can't outrationalize and enteric triggers and erk being your

553
00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 2: body's your body's nervous system that holds memory. And so

554
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:15,480
Speaker 2: I said to him, I think I just always want

555
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:22,080
Speaker 2: to start our intercourse sessions with me sliding down on

556
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:23,960
Speaker 2: top of you, because I seem to be okay after

557
00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:28,240
Speaker 2: I get through that initial penetration. But I wasn't ready.

558
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:31,480
Speaker 2: But before we got to the penetration, I forgot one part.

559
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:35,800
Speaker 2: I was really turned on by that yoni massage. And

560
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,200
Speaker 2: one of the things that I am as a sex

561
00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 2: toy master, I'm one of the books I'm writing right

562
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 2: now is called Orgasmic Cross Training, and it's the eight

563
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:50,920
Speaker 2: kinds of toys that activate your entire yoni so that

564
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:53,680
Speaker 2: all of the tissue gets stimulated so that you become

565
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:56,959
Speaker 2: massively multi orgasmic, and explaining what each of them are

566
00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:58,840
Speaker 2: and how to use them and where to use them

567
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:04,800
Speaker 2: and why they are additive to your orgasmic expansion, and

568
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:07,480
Speaker 2: so I like to use a lot of toys doring sex,

569
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:12,480
Speaker 2: and so right after my Yoni massage, I really wanted

570
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:15,360
Speaker 2: to use this little vibrator I love, called the tango X,

571
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:18,279
Speaker 2: and I wanted to kneel over my husband, kind of

572
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:20,279
Speaker 2: next to him. He was lying on his back, and

573
00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:22,600
Speaker 2: I wanted him to play with my breasts because over

574
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:25,680
Speaker 2: the years, I've learned how to make my breasts and

575
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:30,360
Speaker 2: nipples massively orgasmic for myself. And so he was playing

576
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:33,080
Speaker 2: with my boobs while I was kind of kneeling above

577
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:37,799
Speaker 2: him with the vibrator on my glitterists having orgasms while

578
00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:40,080
Speaker 2: he told me how sexy and beautiful I am, which

579
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:43,120
Speaker 2: I really like. I like words of adoration. One of

580
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:45,800
Speaker 2: my friends recently told me I have an adoration kink,

581
00:34:46,239 --> 00:34:48,120
Speaker 2: and I said, I don't think it's a kink. I

582
00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:52,080
Speaker 2: think everybody wants adoration. The kink is something that not

583
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:55,280
Speaker 2: that many people want to do. I think everybody wants adoration.

584
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:58,719
Speaker 2: And I love when my lover tells me all kinds

585
00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:02,600
Speaker 2: of incredible things about how I am, so especially when

586
00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:05,959
Speaker 2: I'm having orgasms. So I did that for a while,

587
00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:11,120
Speaker 2: and then I gave him oral pleasuring because he loves that,

588
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 2: and so one of the other things. It was so cute,

589
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:17,400
Speaker 2: you guys, I was at a bar. I was at

590
00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:19,880
Speaker 2: the Four Seasons in Austin, Texas with some of my

591
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:24,200
Speaker 2: girls for conference, and one of my girlfriends sidles over

592
00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:26,800
Speaker 2: to me and she goes, can you I have this

593
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:28,319
Speaker 2: new boyfriend and I want to give him a really

594
00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:30,440
Speaker 2: good blowjob? Can you teach me how to give him

595
00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:32,680
Speaker 2: a really good blowjob? And I was like, yeah, can you.

596
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:37,280
Speaker 2: She's an essential oils she runs an essential oils company,

597
00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:39,960
Speaker 2: and I said, can you teach me how to give

598
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:44,120
Speaker 2: myself a lymphatic drainage massage self massage with essential oils?

599
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:46,800
Speaker 2: And she's like totally. So here we are in the

600
00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:51,600
Speaker 2: bar in pink champagne. She's doing Essential oils all over

601
00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:54,600
Speaker 2: my neck and all this stuff. And then I told

602
00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:56,920
Speaker 2: her how to give her boyfriend the most incredible blowjobs

603
00:35:56,960 --> 00:35:59,279
Speaker 2: and she's and after I told her, I said, so,

604
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:01,960
Speaker 2: what were the that you felt were the most interesting

605
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:04,520
Speaker 2: things that I told you? And I remember one of

606
00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:06,839
Speaker 2: them was you can get him to hold his dick

607
00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:11,160
Speaker 2: up for you. Oh, She's like, I never thought about

608
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:14,800
Speaker 2: having because it's hard to if you got it. It

609
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:18,319
Speaker 2: depends on which direction the penis is angled on your

610
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:21,600
Speaker 2: lover as to where you need to have your body

611
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:26,439
Speaker 2: to get the maximum ease of flow in your mouth.

612
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:32,239
Speaker 2: And it's really when I like my husband to lie down,

613
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:35,040
Speaker 2: I like to kind of be over him, but I

614
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:37,399
Speaker 2: need both hands to hold myself up so I don't

615
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:40,719
Speaker 2: get tired. So he holds his penis up while I

616
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:43,960
Speaker 2: pleasure it, and then he'll stroke my hair and stroke

617
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:46,880
Speaker 2: my back and moan and tell me how beautiful I

618
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:48,920
Speaker 2: am and how sexy I look, and how turned on

619
00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:51,960
Speaker 2: he is and all that stuff, and it's so nice.

620
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:55,279
Speaker 2: So it was so cute. She's like, I never thought

621
00:36:55,320 --> 00:37:01,280
Speaker 2: about it after you never thought about that? So cute.

622
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:03,640
Speaker 2: So I pleasured him and pleasured him, and he had

623
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:06,320
Speaker 2: a great time. And then when I got tired, I

624
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:08,680
Speaker 2: stopped and I laid next to him and nestled nestled

625
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:11,000
Speaker 2: in his arm, and he held me for a while,

626
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:12,960
Speaker 2: and then I said, well, I think I would like

627
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:18,160
Speaker 2: to slide down on the man hammer, And so I

628
00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:21,200
Speaker 2: did that, and I made love to him for as

629
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:25,239
Speaker 2: long as my little ski knees would hold me, and

630
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:30,640
Speaker 2: then we went, we flipped and went to the edge

631
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:33,320
Speaker 2: of the bed and he so, my husband was so

632
00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:36,040
Speaker 2: interesting after our date was so, we have this thing

633
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:40,560
Speaker 2: called sharing frames, and sharing frames is you tell your

634
00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:44,359
Speaker 2: lover things that you really loved about that particular love

635
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:50,200
Speaker 2: making date that session. And I said, so afterward, I said,

636
00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:53,239
Speaker 2: what were your three favorite things about that sash? And

637
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:58,320
Speaker 2: he said, well, number one was your high heels and

638
00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:03,479
Speaker 2: that's I wore this rediculous one piece, super hot pink,

639
00:38:03,719 --> 00:38:06,640
Speaker 2: stretchy number where my boobs stuck out and it was

640
00:38:06,719 --> 00:38:09,520
Speaker 2: super short, so there was no panties. It was just

641
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:11,800
Speaker 2: this silly little piece of cloth like a couple of

642
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:16,200
Speaker 2: strings and a pair of really sexy, super high like

643
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:17,759
Speaker 2: I have to take them off to get out of

644
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:21,160
Speaker 2: bed and go to the bathroom high fields that were

645
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:25,000
Speaker 2: hot pink with sparkly rhinestones all over them. I love

646
00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 2: them shoes and so so he said, my favorite part

647
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:35,880
Speaker 2: was your sexy heels and your sexy outfit. My second

648
00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:40,480
Speaker 2: favorite part was how incredibly well you orgasm in the

649
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:45,879
Speaker 2: entire three hours of our date, like unbelievable. I don't

650
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:48,080
Speaker 2: remember what the fourth one was or the third one was.

651
00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 2: I literally can't even remember, because you know, you get humbrain.

652
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:51,239
Speaker 4: Yeah.

653
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:54,040
Speaker 2: So I just thought it was so cute. I was like,

654
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:56,279
Speaker 2: you like the heels better than the orgasms. He's like,

655
00:38:56,320 --> 00:38:59,320
Speaker 2: I did, I love them? Like that's so interesting. I

656
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:01,560
Speaker 2: would not I would not have you know, like, I

657
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:04,080
Speaker 2: wouldn't have known that. Even though he's constantly like we

658
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:08,880
Speaker 2: have an unlimited lingerie budget because he loves my lingerie so.

659
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:11,800
Speaker 4: Much, I'm still stuck on three hours.

660
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:15,960
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you do the pain cream we launched

661
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:17,880
Speaker 2: the only fans VIPA bergs.

662
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:19,560
Speaker 3: You right, you come back?

663
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:20,760
Speaker 2: You do they massage?

664
00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:21,239
Speaker 1: You know?

665
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:22,919
Speaker 2: You gotta I got time for icing.

666
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:28,040
Speaker 4: I mean right, there is a lot happening.

667
00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:31,480
Speaker 1: But I think the one thing I always find really like,

668
00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:34,520
Speaker 1: I really appreciate this about every time you're talking about

669
00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:38,680
Speaker 1: these sexual experiences is that like you mentioned the part

670
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:41,200
Speaker 1: where you're like laid on his chest and y'all started

671
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:42,839
Speaker 1: talking and you were like, then I wanted to then

672
00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:45,359
Speaker 1: I want to do this. And it's not this like yeah,

673
00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:49,960
Speaker 1: sprint to come, it's this like marathon and you do

674
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:52,560
Speaker 1: all these different positions and you kind of reconnect in

675
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:55,840
Speaker 1: the middle, and then you are talking and you're expressing

676
00:39:55,920 --> 00:40:00,440
Speaker 1: your needs like that is intimate. That is vulnerable too,

677
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:03,239
Speaker 1: and there's so much of that you were talking about.

678
00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:07,120
Speaker 1: The performative aspect that I do think is how most

679
00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:09,720
Speaker 1: of us have kind of learned how to have sex,

680
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:13,279
Speaker 1: you know, And so it takes out these pieces of

681
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:18,560
Speaker 1: this emotional fulfillment that I hear you getting, as well

682
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:23,040
Speaker 1: as the orgasms and probably the best physical experience you

683
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:23,440
Speaker 1: could have.

684
00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:27,719
Speaker 2: Every time my lover has sex with me, it's a

685
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:31,640
Speaker 2: constant surprise. He never knows what I'm gonna want because

686
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:35,360
Speaker 2: I'm listening to my yoni. I never know either, and

687
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:40,960
Speaker 2: so it's very authentic and real and comforting to listen

688
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:44,200
Speaker 2: to your body and to ask for what you want,

689
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:46,720
Speaker 2: and he asks for what he wants to blow job, blowjob,

690
00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:57,319
Speaker 2: blow drop blow. Yeah, but it is relaxing.

691
00:40:57,920 --> 00:40:58,600
Speaker 4: That's the thing.

692
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:02,719
Speaker 2: That's why it be comes good for your mental health

693
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:10,680
Speaker 2: because it's true, it's vulnerable, it's heart connected, it's languorous.

694
00:41:11,239 --> 00:41:16,080
Speaker 2: It's no wine before it's time, no rush, right.

695
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:17,040
Speaker 1: And you know.

696
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:20,040
Speaker 2: And he went out and got us a glass of

697
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:22,080
Speaker 2: so I got to ask him what the heck he

698
00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:25,880
Speaker 2: served me last night. It was a delicious wine. He

699
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:28,040
Speaker 2: went and got us some wine before the intercourse. When

700
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:30,080
Speaker 2: we were resting. We had a little wine. We just

701
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:32,000
Speaker 2: laid there. We have a big picture of water the

702
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:37,160
Speaker 2: fireplaces on the mute. We played a seventies romantic eighties.

703
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:41,680
Speaker 2: We played an eighties romantic playlist last night that was

704
00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:46,440
Speaker 2: just adorable. I mean, the seventies had the sweetest or

705
00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:48,600
Speaker 2: the eighties. I guess it was the eighties. It's had

706
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:52,560
Speaker 2: like the most sweetest innocent love songs. Yeah, so dark,

707
00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:56,560
Speaker 2: not cheesy like the fifties, not folksy like the sixties. Yeah,

708
00:41:56,920 --> 00:41:59,520
Speaker 2: a little edgier like the eighties were just so good,

709
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:04,880
Speaker 2: And we just had a marvelous time spending the afternoon

710
00:42:05,239 --> 00:42:09,239
Speaker 2: making love together. And at the end, one of our

711
00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:14,240
Speaker 2: favorite positions is where my butt is, Like I literally

712
00:42:14,719 --> 00:42:16,560
Speaker 2: stand at the edge of the bed and then sit

713
00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:19,279
Speaker 2: down and lie back. My butt's right at the edge

714
00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:22,000
Speaker 2: of the bed and my legs are in the air

715
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:27,000
Speaker 2: or they're on big pillows. I'm a pillow princess, big

716
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:31,640
Speaker 2: pillows on each side, butterfly leg open, legs open. I'm open,

717
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:35,319
Speaker 2: and my head's on my pillow with my satin pillow cover,

718
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:38,960
Speaker 2: which is what I like. And if I'm chilly, I

719
00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:44,520
Speaker 2: have a little blanky over me and then he's standing

720
00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:46,839
Speaker 2: at the edge of the bed. Our bed's the perfect height.

721
00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:48,759
Speaker 2: He's standing at the edge of the bed and he

722
00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:54,000
Speaker 2: enters me and I have this new vibrator. So one

723
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,759
Speaker 2: of my favorite companies is called fun Factory, and they

724
00:42:56,880 --> 00:42:59,760
Speaker 2: just came out with the new Magic Wand you remember

725
00:42:59,840 --> 00:43:07,560
Speaker 2: the the wand your mom's massage, remember that, Well, they

726
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:13,759
Speaker 2: moms massager. You know, I'm winking like the biggest like

727
00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:18,440
Speaker 2: side eye wink right now. And that's a fantastic massager,

728
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:20,560
Speaker 2: especially for people who struggle to org as it because

729
00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:23,120
Speaker 2: it's powerful. But the problem is that if you're like

730
00:43:23,239 --> 00:43:26,200
Speaker 2: me and many many, many, many women who have big

731
00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:29,879
Speaker 2: inner labia that kind of hang down, which I think

732
00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:32,719
Speaker 2: are gorgeous. And I don't know why women are embarrassed

733
00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:38,799
Speaker 2: about their beautiful labia because they look so pretty. If

734
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:41,640
Speaker 2: you put that magic wand on there, they do like

735
00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:46,960
Speaker 2: a motor boat and it's not that comfortable. So fun

736
00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:49,520
Speaker 2: Factory just came out with a new wand the new

737
00:43:49,719 --> 00:43:52,480
Speaker 2: wand you have to get this if you are listening

738
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:55,359
Speaker 2: to this podcast, and I have no I mean, I'm

739
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:57,120
Speaker 2: not it's not a link. I'm not a I'm not

740
00:43:57,120 --> 00:43:58,719
Speaker 2: gonna make any money from telling you this. I'm just

741
00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:01,520
Speaker 2: telling you that you need to get this new toy.

742
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:05,279
Speaker 2: It's the way that it works, the wand it's first

743
00:44:05,320 --> 00:44:07,520
Speaker 2: of all, it looks like a sculpture. It feels super

744
00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:09,320
Speaker 2: light in your hand. You know, it doesn't feel too heavy,

745
00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:12,640
Speaker 2: but it's rumbling. But the rumbles when you put it

746
00:44:12,719 --> 00:44:16,040
Speaker 2: on your body, they penetrate deep into your body. They

747
00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:19,160
Speaker 2: use some kind of like magnety weighted thing or something.

748
00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:23,960
Speaker 2: They're Germans, they know what they're doing. They makes BMW's,

749
00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:28,800
Speaker 2: et cetera. This is basically the Porsche of the vibrator

750
00:44:29,040 --> 00:44:33,920
Speaker 2: universe and the vimv IM from fun Factory. It sends

751
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:36,960
Speaker 2: the sensation deep into your body, which means it's getting

752
00:44:37,080 --> 00:44:41,480
Speaker 2: into all that erectile tissue and stimulating it even more,

753
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 2: sending more pleasure signals to your number one sex organ,

754
00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:48,719
Speaker 2: your brain. So I had that on my glitteris. He

755
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:52,400
Speaker 2: was making love to me. We were having intercourse. I

756
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:55,480
Speaker 2: was coming and coming and coming and coming.

757
00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:58,360
Speaker 5: And he was loving it, loving it, loving it, loving it,

758
00:44:58,760 --> 00:45:04,960
Speaker 5: and finally we just both had this mutually giant satisfying

759
00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:07,480
Speaker 5: or gasmic explosion together.

760
00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:12,440
Speaker 2: It was incredible. My mouth just watered. It was incredible,

761
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:17,080
Speaker 2: and that was kind of the end. And then we

762
00:45:17,239 --> 00:45:20,000
Speaker 2: laid next to each other in the bed and I

763
00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:22,640
Speaker 2: turned to him and I said, you know that chicken

764
00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:25,560
Speaker 2: leg in the refrigerator, could you in the kitchen and

765
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:28,120
Speaker 2: could you just pull all the chicken off the bone

766
00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:30,360
Speaker 2: and put it on the plate for me and feed me?

767
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:34,080
Speaker 2: And he's like super baby. He comes back. I'm still

768
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:36,640
Speaker 2: lying in like orgasmic bliss. He comes back with a

769
00:45:36,719 --> 00:45:40,280
Speaker 2: plate all warmed up with the chicken all just super

770
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:44,760
Speaker 2: beautifully arranged. I took a picture of it, super beautifully arranged,

771
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:47,880
Speaker 2: with all the potatoes and the carrots and the leaks

772
00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:50,759
Speaker 2: and the onions all mixed in just perfectly, and a

773
00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:55,040
Speaker 2: little bit more wine. And we watched Bridgerton, the new

774
00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:58,000
Speaker 2: Bridgerton got and so then and then we went to bed.

775
00:45:58,120 --> 00:46:03,919
Speaker 2: I mean, talk about a perfect date. That Judee knows

776
00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:10,359
Speaker 2: what to do. He is unbelievable in bed. Oh my god,

777
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:12,840
Speaker 2: it was so much fun and it was ours and

778
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:15,840
Speaker 2: great and that was thirty years we've been together.

779
00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:18,200
Speaker 1: Geez, I feel like we need to start a new

780
00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:21,600
Speaker 1: series called story Time with Sees. Oh my god, the

781
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:23,480
Speaker 1: last time you were on the podcast. I got so

782
00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:27,879
Speaker 1: many messages about how it turned on. People were I'm

783
00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:29,800
Speaker 1: sitting here and I'm like, Jesus.

784
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:33,439
Speaker 3: I'm like trying not to blush, like, but I'm also

785
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:37,520
Speaker 3: like my chair, right. I have such reverence for.

786
00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:39,719
Speaker 2: Haven't got you two to take your clothes off yet?

787
00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:46,080
Speaker 3: Sorry that say that, say that, I have reverence for

788
00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:49,160
Speaker 3: the ease with which you like talk about sex, because

789
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:53,600
Speaker 3: it's it's so refreshing, like to describe a very intimate,

790
00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:57,200
Speaker 3: private moment. But I'm just like, what I'm hearing is

791
00:46:57,480 --> 00:47:01,319
Speaker 3: like what would normally sound, you know, taboo. What I'm

792
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:05,560
Speaker 3: hearing is like, you guys are spending really important time together,

793
00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:10,799
Speaker 3: you know, like you're it's the you're together, and whether

794
00:47:10,920 --> 00:47:13,160
Speaker 3: it's sexual or you're watching TV, you're drinking wine or

795
00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:17,680
Speaker 3: eating chicken, Like, it's just a connectivity that like, I

796
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:20,439
Speaker 3: think that like so many of us think of sex

797
00:47:20,600 --> 00:47:24,279
Speaker 3: either as a chore or something we just need or

798
00:47:24,520 --> 00:47:27,040
Speaker 3: want to do, and it's not something that we're like

799
00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:33,880
Speaker 3: sharing and experiencing and even discovery, you know, it's like, oh,

800
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:35,839
Speaker 3: I just want to get rye rocks off. And I think,

801
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:37,759
Speaker 3: especially in the gay world, it's a lot of that

802
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:39,520
Speaker 3: because you're dealing with two guys that can get hard

803
00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:40,920
Speaker 3: really fast and come really fast.

804
00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:42,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know.

805
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:46,239
Speaker 3: I like what I'm hearing is like this really romantic

806
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:49,520
Speaker 3: sort of id I mean, it's not even just an

807
00:47:49,560 --> 00:47:51,920
Speaker 3: idea because you're doing it, but like it's romanticizing the

808
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:54,600
Speaker 3: idea of sex, and not in a cheesy way, because

809
00:47:54,640 --> 00:47:56,399
Speaker 3: it sounds like you're still having a lot of fun.

810
00:47:56,640 --> 00:48:00,200
Speaker 3: If there's a you know, it's sexy, you know, like

811
00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:02,320
Speaker 3: I would also think that a lot of women, Like

812
00:48:03,040 --> 00:48:05,239
Speaker 3: if you asked your man what was your favorite part

813
00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:06,920
Speaker 3: and he said the heels, a lot of women would be.

814
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:08,440
Speaker 4: Like, are you fucking kidding me?

815
00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:11,759
Speaker 3: You didn't like my blowjob? But like the fact that

816
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:13,800
Speaker 3: you can be honest, that he can be honest with

817
00:48:13,880 --> 00:48:15,640
Speaker 3: you about that, and you're like, oh, you like the

818
00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:18,879
Speaker 3: visual and you learn from that about how you can

819
00:48:18,960 --> 00:48:22,280
Speaker 3: please him more. I mean, I think it's just really beautiful.

820
00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:24,840
Speaker 3: Like it just blows my mind. The level of comfort

821
00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:27,200
Speaker 3: that you have in talking about it and sharing with people.

822
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:28,200
Speaker 3: I think it's really important.

823
00:48:28,880 --> 00:48:32,960
Speaker 2: Thank you. I feel like in having opportunities like being

824
00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:34,920
Speaker 2: on your show and being able to talk about things

825
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:37,600
Speaker 2: like this, it normalizes it and It gives people ideas

826
00:48:37,719 --> 00:48:40,000
Speaker 2: for how they can take whatever parts of what I

827
00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:43,600
Speaker 2: said they that they liked and incorporate them. Yeah, and

828
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:46,399
Speaker 2: I have a feeling a lot of your listeners will

829
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:52,120
Speaker 2: send this episode to a friend or a lover and

830
00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:56,040
Speaker 2: say that I'll have what she's having. That's what I want.

831
00:48:56,280 --> 00:48:58,960
Speaker 2: And it doesn't matter whether you're the you know, you're straight,

832
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:02,960
Speaker 2: gay male females somewhere on the sparkle rainbow spectrum, which

833
00:49:03,160 --> 00:49:07,840
Speaker 2: I completely and fully support. This is just from a

834
00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:10,600
Speaker 2: human perspective, what we want, and it is interesting. I

835
00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:14,920
Speaker 2: have a very large gay following, and I have a

836
00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:20,040
Speaker 2: large gay following for two reasons. Number One, I teach people.

837
00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:24,520
Speaker 2: I teach men how to do penis enlargement using a

838
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:27,400
Speaker 2: vacuum erection device, a penis pump called the Whopper. I

839
00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:30,200
Speaker 2: have a book called Pump the Pump Guide at pumping

840
00:49:30,239 --> 00:49:33,080
Speaker 2: guide dot com that has had over forty thousand downloads.

841
00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:37,480
Speaker 2: I've helped thousands upon thousands upon thousands of men use

842
00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:42,400
Speaker 2: a pump correctly to get a bigger penis. Because in

843
00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:47,640
Speaker 2: the gay world, there is definitely an even greater desire

844
00:49:47,880 --> 00:49:51,680
Speaker 2: to have, you know, genitals that match your body I'm

845
00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:54,600
Speaker 2: big with bodybuilders, and I'm big with gay men because

846
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:58,000
Speaker 2: they want their package to look like the rest of

847
00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:01,920
Speaker 2: their body, like blow you away, gorgeous. And then the

848
00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:04,520
Speaker 2: second thing that I spend a lot of time helping

849
00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:10,120
Speaker 2: gay men get to is heart connection, connecting their heart

850
00:50:10,520 --> 00:50:15,360
Speaker 2: to their penis, because it doesn't necessarily come naturally to

851
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:21,839
Speaker 2: the male bodied person, testosterone dominant human being, no matter

852
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:25,359
Speaker 2: whether they're straight, gay, or safeio sexual or you name

853
00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:31,080
Speaker 2: it sexual. And so when men come to me and

854
00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:34,480
Speaker 2: they're like, I want more than I'm getting and I

855
00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:36,200
Speaker 2: don't know what it is, I'm like, I know what

856
00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:39,280
Speaker 2: it is. You got to connect your heart to penis,

857
00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:42,040
Speaker 2: and once you start doing that, you're going to get

858
00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:47,600
Speaker 2: the kind of romantic, pleasurable, lovely, beautiful sex that you

859
00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:52,560
Speaker 2: have been wanting but didn't have the models for necessarily

860
00:50:52,680 --> 00:50:55,000
Speaker 2: in that more transactional gay community.

861
00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:57,160
Speaker 4: I think that's true for all men.

862
00:50:57,280 --> 00:50:59,160
Speaker 1: Like I don't know if it's because I'm getting older

863
00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:02,560
Speaker 1: and maybe the men that I'm dating are in a

864
00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:05,520
Speaker 1: different phase of their life, but I find that they

865
00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:09,600
Speaker 1: are just as sensitive. They're just they want to feel

866
00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:13,120
Speaker 1: something just the same way that I do, versus just

867
00:51:13,280 --> 00:51:16,359
Speaker 1: like have sex to have sex like it really it's

868
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:18,759
Speaker 1: it's kind of blowing me away. But that seems to

869
00:51:18,920 --> 00:51:21,320
Speaker 1: be a consistent theme. And I hear so much of

870
00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:24,920
Speaker 1: that with your husband too, Like he genuinely seems to

871
00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:28,440
Speaker 1: want to feel things with you, you know, like it's

872
00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:30,200
Speaker 1: much deeper than a physical thing.

873
00:51:30,719 --> 00:51:33,839
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, And my husband is very kinesthetic. So there's three.

874
00:51:34,080 --> 00:51:37,000
Speaker 2: There's three styles of lovers. There's and this is just

875
00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:40,520
Speaker 2: your dominant style. You have all three. There's visual, auditory,

876
00:51:40,560 --> 00:51:43,120
Speaker 2: and kinesthetic. And you'd think, oh, well, he must be

877
00:51:43,239 --> 00:51:45,360
Speaker 2: visual because he loves those shoes. But actually, my husband's

878
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:50,200
Speaker 2: very kinesthetic and he and he's very auditory. He loves

879
00:51:50,239 --> 00:51:52,560
Speaker 2: it when I tell him dirty stories while I'm making

880
00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:55,839
Speaker 2: love to him and things that makes stuff up. I'll

881
00:51:55,840 --> 00:51:57,960
Speaker 2: get on top of him and make love to him

882
00:51:58,040 --> 00:52:03,399
Speaker 2: and my little cowgirl yeeha, and tell him the dirtiest fantasy. Yeah,

883
00:52:03,480 --> 00:52:06,239
Speaker 2: And that's what he loves more than anything. But he

884
00:52:06,520 --> 00:52:12,680
Speaker 2: also really does love that the like limbic connection that

885
00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:17,600
Speaker 2: we have, which he learned from the stroking of my clitorism,

886
00:52:18,120 --> 00:52:23,480
Speaker 2: delicate gentle stroking. He can just connect with me and

887
00:52:23,719 --> 00:52:28,680
Speaker 2: take me up into a level of felt pleasure that

888
00:52:29,280 --> 00:52:34,800
Speaker 2: makes me feel like I can touch source god Gia.

889
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:42,040
Speaker 2: We go out into the far reaches of orgasmic bliss together.

890
00:52:43,040 --> 00:52:46,680
Speaker 2: He takes me, I ride his ride. The feedback he

891
00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:48,800
Speaker 2: gets from me takes him higher.

892
00:52:49,320 --> 00:52:51,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean shit, maybe you can speak to this

893
00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:54,160
Speaker 1: more too. But maybe this is a human thing, not

894
00:52:54,280 --> 00:52:56,560
Speaker 1: just a man thing. But I feel like some of

895
00:52:56,600 --> 00:52:59,239
Speaker 1: the feedback I get is that it gets men get

896
00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:02,640
Speaker 1: really turned on. Knowing how turned on you're getting, like

897
00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:07,560
Speaker 1: in general, true, maybe that's humans, but I hear a

898
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:08,560
Speaker 1: lot of that we all do.

899
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:11,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll get turned on by getting by turning on

900
00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:13,560
Speaker 2: our lover as long as it's authentic and not performative

901
00:53:13,640 --> 00:53:17,120
Speaker 2: and right. The trick is like every time you begin

902
00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:21,280
Speaker 2: to perform, you got to check yourself.

903
00:53:21,960 --> 00:53:24,680
Speaker 1: And what's a good tactic with our tool that we

904
00:53:24,719 --> 00:53:26,680
Speaker 1: could use, because I think that would be you know,

905
00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:29,400
Speaker 1: especially if you've done it for your whole life, Like

906
00:53:29,719 --> 00:53:32,040
Speaker 1: it might be easy to slip into that. And so

907
00:53:32,239 --> 00:53:33,759
Speaker 1: how do we get ourselves out of it if we

908
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:34,719
Speaker 1: find ourselves doing that?

909
00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:38,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a mindfulness practice, just like meditation. The more

910
00:53:38,200 --> 00:53:39,880
Speaker 2: you're aware of it and you stop doing it and

911
00:53:39,960 --> 00:53:42,960
Speaker 2: you bring yourself back, the easier it becomes to let

912
00:53:43,040 --> 00:53:46,120
Speaker 2: that go and to drop back into your sensation. So

913
00:53:46,239 --> 00:53:48,279
Speaker 2: what you do is you go, oh, I'm doing it.

914
00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:50,200
Speaker 2: I'm going to stop, and I'm going to begin to

915
00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:53,040
Speaker 2: allow myself to feel what my body is feeling and

916
00:53:53,160 --> 00:53:56,040
Speaker 2: drop into that again and drop back into my heart

917
00:53:56,200 --> 00:54:00,759
Speaker 2: and back into presence. So the performative is perform anxiety.

918
00:54:00,960 --> 00:54:04,360
Speaker 2: It's I should be acting a certain way, this is

919
00:54:04,480 --> 00:54:08,280
Speaker 2: what is expected of me, and that is not presence.

920
00:54:09,440 --> 00:54:13,359
Speaker 2: So great sex is a mindfulness practice, just like it's

921
00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:17,600
Speaker 2: orgasmic meditation. It is a practice you bring yourself back,

922
00:54:17,719 --> 00:54:19,839
Speaker 2: back back, and then you just end up being able

923
00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:22,799
Speaker 2: to be present all the time when you take off

924
00:54:22,840 --> 00:54:23,480
Speaker 2: the performance.

925
00:54:24,400 --> 00:54:27,040
Speaker 1: Isn't it just so interesting because obviously we're speaking about

926
00:54:27,040 --> 00:54:30,200
Speaker 1: mental health, but these same tools, it's the same things

927
00:54:30,320 --> 00:54:33,200
Speaker 1: you would do to lower anxiety, to get you know,

928
00:54:33,360 --> 00:54:36,399
Speaker 1: like everything is about being in the moment, getting back

929
00:54:36,440 --> 00:54:38,680
Speaker 1: in your body, all of those things. So it just

930
00:54:38,800 --> 00:54:42,880
Speaker 1: is really applicable to sex and our sex lives too perfect.

931
00:54:43,360 --> 00:54:45,800
Speaker 3: Well, you know what else is Yeah, what else is

932
00:54:45,880 --> 00:54:49,760
Speaker 3: interesting is that both have been taboo subjects in America.

933
00:54:50,040 --> 00:54:53,200
Speaker 3: It's true, we're just you know, we're really finally starting

934
00:54:53,239 --> 00:54:54,880
Speaker 3: to talk about mental health in a way that we

935
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:58,080
Speaker 3: need to. But you know, sex is still a very

936
00:54:58,280 --> 00:55:00,280
Speaker 3: I think we've probably been talking about sex life longer

937
00:55:00,320 --> 00:55:02,120
Speaker 3: in a less taboo way, but it's still a very

938
00:55:02,160 --> 00:55:05,680
Speaker 3: taboo subject. Yeah, and it's crazy because it's the health

939
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:11,040
Speaker 3: benefits of both are so obvious. Yeah, you know, we

940
00:55:11,280 --> 00:55:12,680
Speaker 3: seem to want to keep our people down.

941
00:55:13,280 --> 00:55:15,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, some people want to keep the people French.

942
00:55:16,080 --> 00:55:18,960
Speaker 3: They spoke cigarettes from age six and live to be

943
00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:21,440
Speaker 3: like a hundred, you know, like they're so much more

944
00:55:21,480 --> 00:55:22,239
Speaker 3: relax than us.

945
00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:26,239
Speaker 2: Yes, they are. They've got their own issues too. Yeah,

946
00:55:26,239 --> 00:55:29,680
Speaker 2: of course we are making progress, and you know, honestly,

947
00:55:29,760 --> 00:55:34,239
Speaker 2: thank God for podcasts, because most mediums are so censored

948
00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:38,320
Speaker 2: that there is no room to talk about like I

949
00:55:38,400 --> 00:55:40,359
Speaker 2: can't I can't write about how to give a yooning

950
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:42,040
Speaker 2: massage on Instagram and I.

951
00:55:42,120 --> 00:55:44,840
Speaker 1: Know, and it's so frustrating because that's actually it's like

952
00:55:45,239 --> 00:55:47,960
Speaker 1: you can go post pictures that you're basically naked in.

953
00:55:48,120 --> 00:55:49,440
Speaker 4: This is what like we allow.

954
00:55:49,600 --> 00:55:52,040
Speaker 1: You can go search for porn anywhere, but you can't

955
00:55:52,120 --> 00:55:55,160
Speaker 1: talk about a way to grow intimately with a partner

956
00:55:55,280 --> 00:55:57,800
Speaker 1: and a lover, which is wild to me, it's just

957
00:55:57,920 --> 00:55:59,839
Speaker 1: like we're missing the mark a little bit there.

958
00:56:00,440 --> 00:56:02,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, That's why I ended up at Only Fans because

959
00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:05,200
Speaker 2: as a place where I can have freedom of self expression,

960
00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:07,600
Speaker 2: I can teach people the things they really need to know.

961
00:56:08,480 --> 00:56:12,160
Speaker 2: And you know, who knows how long it'll be uncensored.

962
00:56:12,600 --> 00:56:15,200
Speaker 2: You know who knows how long any platform will ever

963
00:56:15,600 --> 00:56:18,440
Speaker 2: exist where we can have freedom of expression. But right

964
00:56:18,520 --> 00:56:20,719
Speaker 2: now we've got podcasting and we've got Only Fans, and

965
00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:23,000
Speaker 2: those are two places that we can go. Because I

966
00:56:23,040 --> 00:56:24,680
Speaker 2: don't want to be in a I don't want to

967
00:56:24,680 --> 00:56:29,360
Speaker 2: be in porn, and because it's performative, I'm kind of

968
00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:32,440
Speaker 2: like the anti porn. I'm like all about heart connected,

969
00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:37,000
Speaker 2: conscious passionate love making techniques, bedroom communication skills, and sexual

970
00:56:37,360 --> 00:56:41,800
Speaker 2: and intimate health, regenerative health, et cetera. I'm a keynoting

971
00:56:41,880 --> 00:56:45,800
Speaker 2: in Florida at the Biohacking Conference. I'm doing Susan's Sexy

972
00:56:45,880 --> 00:56:49,160
Speaker 2: Show and Tell at the Biohacking Conference coming up, and

973
00:56:49,800 --> 00:56:53,160
Speaker 2: really happy to be there being given the opportunity to

974
00:56:53,360 --> 00:56:58,600
Speaker 2: showcase toys and technologies that help keep our system younger.

975
00:56:59,080 --> 00:57:03,279
Speaker 2: Because I'm really standing for ageless sexuality. Our sex keeps

976
00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:06,759
Speaker 2: getting better as we age, not worse. Fat.

977
00:57:06,840 --> 00:57:10,000
Speaker 1: I love that you're talking about that. Yeah, yeah, I

978
00:57:10,080 --> 00:57:13,680
Speaker 1: think it's so important. Well, we love that you're doing

979
00:57:13,760 --> 00:57:15,600
Speaker 1: all the stuff that you're doing. So where can we

980
00:57:15,800 --> 00:57:18,840
Speaker 1: direct our listeners. I know you've better Lover dot com

981
00:57:19,360 --> 00:57:22,080
Speaker 1: Better Love. Where else would be a good place for

982
00:57:22,160 --> 00:57:24,080
Speaker 1: them to find some of your resources?

983
00:57:24,760 --> 00:57:26,640
Speaker 2: Well, let's see. So what I really do is I

984
00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:28,720
Speaker 2: have a sex tips newsletter And if you go to

985
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:32,040
Speaker 2: expand her Orgasmtnight dot com and get the pleasure reports,

986
00:57:32,120 --> 00:57:34,880
Speaker 2: you'll be on my newsletter. And if you go to

987
00:57:34,920 --> 00:57:38,200
Speaker 2: pumpin guide dot com, you'll be on my newsletter. And

988
00:57:39,720 --> 00:57:43,960
Speaker 2: if you have any questions for me, I answer all

989
00:57:44,240 --> 00:57:46,560
Speaker 2: replies to my email newsletter. They come to my inbox.

990
00:57:46,560 --> 00:57:48,280
Speaker 2: Even though I have a care team and have for over,

991
00:57:48,560 --> 00:57:52,280
Speaker 2: you know, like two decades. I get all the replies

992
00:57:52,320 --> 00:57:56,000
Speaker 2: to the newsletters so that people can ask me personal

993
00:57:56,120 --> 00:57:59,160
Speaker 2: information about their sex life because that's what makes me

994
00:57:59,400 --> 00:58:02,400
Speaker 2: good at what I do, and it's their gift to me,

995
00:58:02,840 --> 00:58:05,640
Speaker 2: you know. Uh. So those are two good places. And

996
00:58:05,720 --> 00:58:09,040
Speaker 2: then you can follow me on Instagram that's mostly me

997
00:58:09,200 --> 00:58:13,000
Speaker 2: just pasting cute pictures of myself and Tim and all

998
00:58:13,080 --> 00:58:17,320
Speaker 2: that stuff. But that's my name at Susan Bratton and

999
00:58:17,440 --> 00:58:19,720
Speaker 2: that's the same old only fans. It's at Susan Bratton

1000
00:58:19,800 --> 00:58:22,240
Speaker 2: OnlyFans dot com slash Susan Bratton. So these are all

1001
00:58:22,280 --> 00:58:25,440
Speaker 2: the places that I'm putting my best work right now.

1002
00:58:26,240 --> 00:58:30,520
Speaker 2: And on betterlover dot com there's fantastic Yoni massage videos

1003
00:58:30,560 --> 00:58:35,480
Speaker 2: that are all free, so they're not explicit. They are

1004
00:58:35,960 --> 00:58:38,320
Speaker 2: me walking you through exactly what to do, describing it

1005
00:58:38,440 --> 00:58:43,280
Speaker 2: and showing you on like images of volvas that are illustrations.

1006
00:58:43,880 --> 00:58:46,320
Speaker 2: So that's super helpful too if you're piqued by the

1007
00:58:46,400 --> 00:58:47,400
Speaker 2: Yoni massage itself.

1008
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:51,360
Speaker 4: Okay, I love this. Susan Bratton, thank you so much.

1009
00:58:51,400 --> 00:58:51,720
Speaker 1: You want to.

1010
00:58:53,520 --> 00:58:57,160
Speaker 2: He is always so happy to see you both likewise, and.

1011
00:58:57,280 --> 00:58:59,080
Speaker 4: Thank you so much for being here. Thank you guys

1012
00:58:59,080 --> 00:58:59,479
Speaker 4: for listening.

1013
00:58:59,480 --> 00:59:01,480
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put all the details for Susan in the

1014
00:59:01,560 --> 00:59:03,280
Speaker 1: description of this podcast because I know you guys are

1015
00:59:03,320 --> 00:59:05,400
Speaker 1: going to have a lot of questions, so send them

1016
00:59:05,480 --> 00:59:08,000
Speaker 1: her away and Susan, thank you again for being here.

1017
00:59:08,480 --> 00:59:09,680
Speaker 2: Thanks Giving. Thanksgiving