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Speaker 1: Well, guys, we said we get down to it, and

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Speaker 1: we are down to it. Just seven days, one week,

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Speaker 1: one week until the November third election. Please go to

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Speaker 1: vote dot org. If you have not voted, there is

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Speaker 1: still time. There is still time to vote early, get

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Speaker 1: your polling locations. In all of that, please do it

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Speaker 1: one week. If you haven't made up your mind yet,

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Speaker 1: what are you waiting on? What else do you need

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Speaker 1: to see? Make up your mind and get to the polls.

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Speaker 1: Okay here, yes, what's going on? All right? We're moving

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Speaker 1: on time now for today's Strawberry Letter and listen. If

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more.

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Speaker 1: Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARBFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your

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Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're gonna read

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now. Buck it up, hold

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Speaker 1: on tight, We got it for you. Here. It is

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Speaker 1: the straw Letter. Subject. I can't stand my family period. Okay,

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a twenty three year old woman

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Speaker 1: living with my grandparents, and I have a major problem

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Speaker 1: with them. Recently, my grandfather has been pressuring me to

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Speaker 1: have a good relationship with my siblings, and I've told

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Speaker 1: him several times I'm not interested in getting to know

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Speaker 1: them better. I know this sounds harsh, but I can explain.

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Speaker 1: My birth mother is a hood rat, kitchen beautician working

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Speaker 1: at the dollar store, and she dresses like she's my age.

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Speaker 1: She has three children, and she's never taken care of

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Speaker 1: any of us. Family members have raised her children. My

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Speaker 1: father isn't as bad, but he has a wife that

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Speaker 1: I can't stand because she broke up my father's first

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Speaker 1: marriage by getting pregnant. She and my dad have two

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Speaker 1: children together, so I'm not a priority to him anymore.

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Speaker 1: He helped her finish college, but when I wanted to

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Speaker 1: attend college, he told me to take out loans, and

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Speaker 1: that hurt. It broke my heart at first to see

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Speaker 1: my father raise my half brothers and giving them the

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Speaker 1: childhood I missed. I have been with my grandparents all

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Speaker 1: of my life, so they're all I need. Now. My

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Speaker 1: aunt has joined with my grandparents to make me visit

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Speaker 1: my mother and get to know her. She said that

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Speaker 1: since I'm the oldest, it's my job to reach out

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Speaker 1: to my brothers and sisters. She has tried to get

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Speaker 1: me to go to counseling because she and my grandparents

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Speaker 1: are worried about me. I feel as though I'm not

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Speaker 1: obligated to have a relationship with my siblings. I can't

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Speaker 1: stand my family period. I want to protect my peace

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Speaker 1: and I'm just fine. How can I get my family

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Speaker 1: to let me be? Well, it doesn't sound like they're

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Speaker 1: going to let you be. You never know, I mean

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Speaker 1: your grandparents. I'm sure getting on an age they might

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Speaker 1: want you to do it for sentimental reasons. But you

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Speaker 1: know what, I'm not mad at you. I'm really not

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Speaker 1: mad at you at all. You have every right to

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Speaker 1: feel the way you feel. I mean, you've had it tough,

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Speaker 1: you know, like a lot of people, a lot of us,

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Speaker 1: A lot of people have stories and testimonies and things

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Speaker 1: like that. Your bitterness is understandable. You've been through a lot,

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Speaker 1: like I said, abandonment by both parents, and the jealousy

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Speaker 1: you feel towards your younger siblings. You know, the animosity

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Speaker 1: you feel towards your mother because she wasn't there for you.

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Speaker 1: But you had your grandparents, so you know you had

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Speaker 1: a decent life. You have your grandparents. You're human, so

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Speaker 1: you can make mistakes. It's okay. I just you know

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Speaker 1: what you have to ask yourself here is is this

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Speaker 1: way the way you want it to be productive? Is

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Speaker 1: it mentally healthy for you? Are you happy where you

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Speaker 1: are in life right now? I know you say you

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Speaker 1: want peace, but do you have that piece? And what

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Speaker 1: is wrong with meeting your family? With sitting down with

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Speaker 1: your mother? I mean they may have changed. People change,

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Speaker 1: People do change. Maybe your mom is a different person now.

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Speaker 1: And certainly you don't blame your brothers for anything, so

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Speaker 1: you can meet with them. I think there are two

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Speaker 1: ways to look at this, and one way is that

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Speaker 1: it could be really good. It could be a positive experience.

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Speaker 1: Try it. I mean, you never know, it could be

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Speaker 1: just the healing you need since you don't want to

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Speaker 1: go to counseling because there are some issues. I'm sure

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Speaker 1: you know with you you can hear it in your letters,

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Speaker 1: So I say, try it. That's what I'm going with.

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Speaker 1: Try it, you know, Steve, the whole time I was

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Speaker 1: listening to this letter, I was thinking of a sermon.

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Speaker 1: This letter has sermon written all over it. So when

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Speaker 1: we come back, my second half will be a sermon. Okay,

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Speaker 1: But I would like to say, Shirley that I absolutely

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Speaker 1: agree for the first time with every single thing you

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Speaker 1: have said. She has issues. You need some type of counseling.

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Speaker 1: You don't want to do counseling. I understand it. Then

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Speaker 1: what you have to do is you have to go

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Speaker 1: and try to make peace. See. One of the reasons

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Speaker 1: you don't have peace, it's because you ain't never tried

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Speaker 1: to make none. See, you can't give what you never had.

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Speaker 1: So if you're not trying to make peace, you probably

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Speaker 1: not gonna have it. Now. You say you want to

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Speaker 1: protect your peace, but it constantly gets disrupted by your

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Speaker 1: grandparents telling you to go have relationship with your father,

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Speaker 1: go have relationship with your mother. Family is important, it

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Speaker 1: really is. And when these people start leaving this world

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Speaker 1: and y'all get older, you're gonna discover that you might

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Speaker 1: have missed something really special. So Shirley is correct. You

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Speaker 1: need to try to make peace with your family and

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Speaker 1: just forgive. You got to forgive your mamma for being

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Speaker 1: a hood rat, a kitchen beautician. You know, maybe that's

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Speaker 1: all she had. You don't know what happened to her.

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Speaker 1: And then you're mad at you Daddy's wife because she

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Speaker 1: broke up, Y'all's mamma near marriage because she got pregnant.

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Speaker 1: Now your daddy got her pregnant. You know you ain't

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Speaker 1: gonna blame the woman so and then your man because

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Speaker 1: your daddy taking better care the other baby than he

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Speaker 1: is of you. It's surely got it right. It's a

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Speaker 1: lot of issues in here. You need counseling. You do

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Speaker 1: need counseling. If you're not, you now to at least

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Speaker 1: go and make peace. Forgiveness is not for you. Forgiveness

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Speaker 1: is not for the other person. Forgiveness is for you.

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Speaker 1: It's when you don't forgive a person, it's like you're

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Speaker 1: drinking the poison, waiting on them to die. So, now

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Speaker 1: that I've said that, when we come back, we're gonna

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Speaker 1: preach the letter. Okay, yeah, yeah, we have come on

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Speaker 1: dcare all right, all right, you heard it. Part two

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Speaker 1: of Steve's response is coming up in a sermon of

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Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour, subject of my letter today,

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Speaker 1: I can't stand my family. Period. We'll be back right

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Speaker 1: after this. You're listening, all right, Steve, Come on, let's

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Speaker 1: recap today's strawberry letter. Subject I can't stand my family

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Speaker 1: I've already. I'm not recapping. I'm preaching this letter. This

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Speaker 1: letter the subject deacon read, then subject is time I

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Speaker 1: don't like my family that I can't stand my thing.

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Speaker 1: Ah can't stand my family. Pe he twether old woman

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Speaker 1: living with grandparents? Come on, that doesn't develop a major

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Speaker 1: problem with both of them. More reasonly, her granddad had

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Speaker 1: been pressing her to have a good relationship with her siblings. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I have told him several times I ain't interested in

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Speaker 1: getting to know him. No, damn better. You don't know

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Speaker 1: how they're here, granddaddy, But I do. I said. It

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Speaker 1: sounds hard, Yes, it dies. But she goes on to explain,

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Speaker 1: my mama is a hooter rat. One more time, my mama,

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Speaker 1: he's a hood rat. Kitchen beautician, got it all over

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Speaker 1: the stove. I can't go in here to make a sandwich,

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Speaker 1: cooking grease everywhere. She's putting a lot on people's heads.

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Speaker 1: She worked down at the dollars store. Who the hell

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Speaker 1: mama working at the damn dollars store? And she don't

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Speaker 1: give discounts when she go in there. She dressed like

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Speaker 1: she my age. She got three kids, ain't never took care.

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Speaker 1: Now one of us the family members and raised the kid.

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Speaker 1: My daddy ain't that band, but he got a whole

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Speaker 1: wife that I can't stand. You can't white, I said,

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Speaker 1: I he got a wife that I can't stand. You

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Speaker 1: want to know why? Why is that battery? She broke

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Speaker 1: up my father's first marriage by getting pregnant. He didn't

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Speaker 1: need another baby. Now he didn't add a baby. Now

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Speaker 1: he didn't broke up with the hood rat. She ain't

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Speaker 1: that trying to fix the hand, the kitchen and everything.

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Speaker 1: Not fix it. And my daddy got two kids together. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so I ain't a priority anymore. Helped tough finish college.

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Speaker 1: And then when I asked him could I go told

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Speaker 1: me to take out loans? Id I herd to the

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Speaker 1: coat when he said take out a damn loan. You

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Speaker 1: helped that other health of gold to school. But now

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Speaker 1: you go at like you don't know me. I was

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Speaker 1: your first baby until you had that hood rat. Got pregnant.

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Speaker 1: She knew couldn't wear. My mama worked down at the dollars.

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Speaker 1: Stop doing the best, sha, so they hand the baby,

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Speaker 1: hand the baby. It broke my heart to see my

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Speaker 1: father raising my half brothers and giving them the childhood

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Speaker 1: I miss him. So I guess you, Michael Jackson, now

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Speaker 1: you want to be a baby again. He won't never

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Speaker 1: land back. You missed your child who you can't get

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Speaker 1: it back. Michael Jackson couldn't get his back. What I

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Speaker 1: would do if I were you, I'd find five more

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Speaker 1: girls that felt the same way it started in Jackson.

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Speaker 1: Five all over again, your daddy, Joe. What it looked

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Speaker 1: like to me being your grandparents all your life, so

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Speaker 1: they seemed to be all you need. Nah, here come

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Speaker 1: your aunt, your big fat ass on now here she

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Speaker 1: comes with her big ass all up in my business.

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Speaker 1: And before the congregation starts this old fat shaming thing,

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Speaker 1: get off my letter. They rode in and asked me,

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Speaker 1: I'm a schooming it. Don't say that the honest fat.

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Speaker 1: But she sounded fat in the letter to me because

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Speaker 1: she's doing what big people do, eating stuff that ain't

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Speaker 1: even on her plate. She over here eating all up

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Speaker 1: in the niece of busy. You here come her ass,

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Speaker 1: and he got it all up into business. Told me,

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Speaker 1: since I'm the oldest, my job to reach out to

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Speaker 1: my brothers and sister. Yeah, And she tried to get

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Speaker 1: me to go to counseling do I sound like I

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Speaker 1: need counseling, and that's how I do? Hell, yes, I

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Speaker 1: sound like I need counseling, but I ain't going. You know,

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Speaker 1: black people don't like counseling. I don't like talking to

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Speaker 1: nobody with a yellow notebook pad do to win to

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Speaker 1: colt home. I got a school diploma. Why But I

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Speaker 1: want to tell my problems with somebody. Jeff called they's

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Speaker 1: a psychologist. Psychologists ain't had my life. I'm not gonna

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Speaker 1: go to no damn counselor. I'm gonna riding out and

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Speaker 1: be a toe up distraught individual to the day I die.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna be a member of a dysfunctional last family.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna try to fix a damn thing. I

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Speaker 1: don't give a damn by my big ass. My grandmama

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Speaker 1: never got on my nerve and have of my brothers

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Speaker 1: and sisters. I'm gonna try to go to heaven on

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Speaker 1: sliding and on the past. I hope the d is

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Speaker 1: grading on the curve. Maybe I can get in, but

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Speaker 1: I don't want to go to heaven if my family

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Speaker 1: is already Now, how does your comments Today's Strawberry let

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Speaker 1: Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook, and please check out

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Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now coming up at

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Speaker 1: forty six minute Jackson five after the hour of Junior

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Speaker 1: Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to the Stave

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Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show