1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,800
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Jonas is Sam your og okay storytime

2
00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:03,559
Speaker 1: podcast hosts.

3
00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:05,680
Speaker 2: We have some great stories coming up, but.

4
00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:07,120
Speaker 1: Before that, we have a quick two minute break from

5
00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:08,520
Speaker 1: the sponsors that keep the show alive.

6
00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:12,119
Speaker 3: I made fun of my sister's baby name choice. Now

7
00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:13,080
Speaker 3: she won't talk to me.

8
00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:16,079
Speaker 2: That sounds like a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

9
00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:18,239
Speaker 3: My sister had a baby, and I'm happy for her.

10
00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:20,520
Speaker 3: Her baby's name is rough.

11
00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:22,800
Speaker 2: You name your baby after the noise of dog.

12
00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:25,600
Speaker 3: It sounds like a dog. I thought she was joking

13
00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:26,720
Speaker 3: and laughed. I was wrong.

14
00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:30,240
Speaker 1: You deserve to be made fun of. Poor child will

15
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,880
Speaker 1: now be made to be made out of dog park park.

16
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:36,360
Speaker 1: That is what he will face all his life.

17
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:38,720
Speaker 3: I like the dog. We have the thing you made

18
00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:39,440
Speaker 3: in your life.

19
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:42,600
Speaker 2: The little is very pointy teeth.

20
00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:43,559
Speaker 3: It's my banana.

21
00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:46,880
Speaker 1: Once it sometimes when he peas, it burns all through floor.

22
00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,639
Speaker 1: Very expensive dog to maintain.

23
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:53,480
Speaker 3: I thought we were laughing. She got mad. She was angry.

24
00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:56,720
Speaker 1: Why would you name your dog? You see, I don't

25
00:00:56,720 --> 00:01:00,160
Speaker 1: even realize it is your child. You name dog noise Ye.

26
00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:03,440
Speaker 1: Why don't you name him Roxton, that at least his

27
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:06,520
Speaker 1: real name, She said, I was being disrespectful. And that

28
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,240
Speaker 1: the name had a meeting to her and her husband.

29
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:13,640
Speaker 1: They love then obscure video game character. I told her

30
00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:16,160
Speaker 1: that she could name her child whatever she wants, but

31
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,720
Speaker 1: people will associate it and it might be hard for

32
00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:22,240
Speaker 1: him in school. She won't return any of my texts

33
00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:26,000
Speaker 1: or calls. She won't fetch them. My mom says, I

34
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,160
Speaker 1: should have kept my mouth shut. I saw what you

35
00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:31,520
Speaker 1: did there. You said fetch this one is very smart.

36
00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:34,759
Speaker 1: Another reason why we'll be making him into food.

37
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:38,000
Speaker 2: He's too smart. And I have very very many of

38
00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:38,320
Speaker 2: them too.

39
00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:40,280
Speaker 3: Spaccause, when did you start eating this? I thought you

40
00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:41,760
Speaker 3: like made us make you food.

41
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,679
Speaker 2: They don't put that part in the movie.

42
00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:46,360
Speaker 3: Am I only seeing one side of this? I didn't

43
00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:48,560
Speaker 3: mean to be a jerk, but rough I can't be

44
00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,160
Speaker 3: the only one who thinks this could backfire. So I

45
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:53,720
Speaker 3: told my sister that her baby name sounds like a

46
00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:56,040
Speaker 3: dog's name. Is she overreacting?

47
00:01:56,520 --> 00:02:00,080
Speaker 2: Look? Here is the belly, the real deal here? So

48
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:03,760
Speaker 2: how I see it with my eyes? This is how

49
00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:09,040
Speaker 2: I What I am sensing is that your sister.

50
00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:12,560
Speaker 3: May not be the.

51
00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:17,840
Speaker 2: You know, most thoughtfelt person. They like a.

52
00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:22,720
Speaker 1: Video game, so they want to name their child they

53
00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:24,679
Speaker 1: sounded a dog makes.

54
00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:26,320
Speaker 2: However, it is very.

55
00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:31,119
Speaker 1: Inconsiderate to the actual child because as someone with funny name,

56
00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:34,160
Speaker 1: all right, it takes a lot out of you. All

57
00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:37,480
Speaker 1: the time I grew grew, I was very small child.

58
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:41,040
Speaker 1: When I was a baby, everyone say, oh, grew this,

59
00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:41,760
Speaker 1: guru dad.

60
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,960
Speaker 2: He'll never grew. When did he grew?

61
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,720
Speaker 1: He never grew, He's so small And that was not

62
00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:48,840
Speaker 1: on purpose. My mother did not know I would not

63
00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:51,760
Speaker 1: be very big man until I was older. But right now,

64
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:55,239
Speaker 1: you're setting up your child for big failure, Mama, this one.

65
00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:56,800
Speaker 2: Now go read the next one.

66
00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:59,520
Speaker 3: My friend called me a spoiled brat, so I shot

67
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:01,799
Speaker 3: backed that she just has daddy issues.

68
00:03:01,919 --> 00:03:04,359
Speaker 2: That is very good insult.

69
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:08,360
Speaker 3: Kind of got some daddy as I also had no daddy.

70
00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:10,440
Speaker 2: My issue is my daddy, Bro.

71
00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:12,800
Speaker 3: You got mom issues? Your mom is always showing up

72
00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:13,040
Speaker 3: to this.

73
00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:14,480
Speaker 2: She was also not great.

74
00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:18,200
Speaker 3: He's always like there, grew this, grew that, grow, grew grew.

75
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:21,240
Speaker 2: She was very dismissive of my accomplishments.

76
00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:23,120
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm not sure if I should follow her. You

77
00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:25,000
Speaker 3: it gets confusing when she's around.

78
00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,600
Speaker 2: She does look very much like me.

79
00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:29,760
Speaker 3: I just went back to school this week. And on

80
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,480
Speaker 3: the first day back, I forgot my project that I

81
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,440
Speaker 3: was supposed to hand in. I had prepared and put

82
00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:38,000
Speaker 3: in the back seat of gar but I completely forgot

83
00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:39,960
Speaker 3: to take it with me when I got out.

84
00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:43,720
Speaker 1: This is perfect situation for having minion. If you have minions,

85
00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:46,080
Speaker 1: they would be able to do all your work for you.

86
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:49,360
Speaker 3: I suddenly remember at lunchtime and asked my dad if

87
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:52,000
Speaker 3: he could drive back to school so he could get it,

88
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:54,080
Speaker 3: and he agreed. Would drive from my house to the

89
00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:57,960
Speaker 3: school was around fifteen minutes, and my dad's job only

90
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,560
Speaker 3: has a four day work week, so he was free.

91
00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:04,240
Speaker 3: One of my friends kept on going on and on,

92
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:09,040
Speaker 3: but how such a spoiled brat, saying that she could

93
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:13,640
Speaker 3: never dream about her dad dropping everything because of her mistake,

94
00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:17,760
Speaker 3: Her dad walked out on her as a kid, and

95
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:19,560
Speaker 3: her stepdad is an awful person.

96
00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:22,599
Speaker 1: Well, it sounds like you could dream of your father

97
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:25,680
Speaker 1: doing this because it would never happen in real life,

98
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:29,480
Speaker 1: so only plus you would ever find that is in

99
00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:32,760
Speaker 1: your dream. That is what I would say if I

100
00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:38,560
Speaker 1: was my child defending myself from a mean person. And

101
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:41,640
Speaker 1: I don't know if that is the right thing to do.

102
00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:45,719
Speaker 1: I am an evil man. I have been very evil

103
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:46,440
Speaker 1: a long time.

104
00:04:46,839 --> 00:04:48,800
Speaker 3: Yeah. I just asked her to drop it, but she

105
00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:53,839
Speaker 3: doubled down. Eventually snapped and told her that I'm not

106
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,840
Speaker 3: a spoiled brat just because I don't have daddy issues

107
00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:57,320
Speaker 3: like her.

108
00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:01,359
Speaker 1: Okay, now that I hear it said out loud, maybe

109
00:05:02,279 --> 00:05:06,720
Speaker 1: maybe that one too far. Clearly, this is child operating

110
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:10,280
Speaker 1: from place of heart, maybe a little jealous. And I

111
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:15,320
Speaker 1: think maybe slam dunking on their not their dad now

112
00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:15,880
Speaker 1: make me.

113
00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:16,640
Speaker 2: Feel a little bad.

114
00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,280
Speaker 3: Uh, I said she was asking for it.

115
00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:23,000
Speaker 1: Maybe because I have my girls and I have raised

116
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:26,880
Speaker 1: my girls, I've become soft, a little bit softer.

117
00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,360
Speaker 2: But I don't really.

118
00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:31,920
Speaker 1: I don't think it's fair to you to have been

119
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,839
Speaker 1: made to be in this position, and it.

120
00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:37,640
Speaker 2: Is equally not fair to her to have been slam

121
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:42,040
Speaker 2: dunked so viciously. But it is what it is.

122
00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:45,080
Speaker 3: She burst out, crying, saying, I cross the line that

123
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:48,200
Speaker 3: she's been ignoring me since then? Am I di a hole?

124
00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:48,880
Speaker 2: Well?

125
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:55,240
Speaker 4: They have saying f af oh you flip around and

126
00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:58,960
Speaker 4: you find out ah, And she was flipping off with

127
00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:05,640
Speaker 4: her mouth flipping at you, saying, fliply, do flip le da.

128
00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:06,159
Speaker 2: You have spoil brat.

129
00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:10,880
Speaker 1: Spoil brat, but really she's just jealous that your dad

130
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:13,440
Speaker 1: come to drop off project.

131
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:18,039
Speaker 2: And honestly it is just the children. You will learn

132
00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:20,880
Speaker 2: this lesson in later in life. For now, I say,

133
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:23,320
Speaker 2: spilled milk.

134
00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:26,400
Speaker 1: Maybe one day you say you sorry, that you did

135
00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:30,040
Speaker 1: not mean to make it hurt feelings, but that also

136
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:32,039
Speaker 1: you did not start this.

137
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:34,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I got another one for you.

138
00:06:34,839 --> 00:06:35,479
Speaker 2: Fire away.

139
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:39,040
Speaker 3: Okay. I supported him through his struggles, so he feels

140
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:40,480
Speaker 3: entitled to my assets.

141
00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:45,000
Speaker 2: I feel also entitled to your assets. I will steal

142
00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:46,200
Speaker 2: them and make them mine.

143
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:49,200
Speaker 3: I've been thinking about getting a divorce since we got

144
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:52,520
Speaker 3: sober three years ago. We grew apart in every way.

145
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,680
Speaker 3: We hadn't had a physical relationship in four years since

146
00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:58,240
Speaker 3: I gave birth to our daughter. He knows I haven't

147
00:06:58,279 --> 00:07:01,440
Speaker 3: been happy, and honestly, I don't think he's been happy

148
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:04,240
Speaker 3: for a very long time. Sometimes I think, if ever.

149
00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:07,920
Speaker 2: I have also never been happy unless I am stealing.

150
00:07:08,839 --> 00:07:11,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I've seen you smile before.

151
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:17,600
Speaker 1: I smile very big, nice stealer I was, and right

152
00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:19,760
Speaker 1: now I'm stealing those hearts.

153
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:23,920
Speaker 3: That is why I smile now. So here is where

154
00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:27,440
Speaker 3: I needed some advice. He hasn't worked since twenty twenty.

155
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:30,640
Speaker 3: I have been working the entire time, with the exception

156
00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:33,760
Speaker 3: of a three month layoff and finding another job A

157
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:37,640
Speaker 3: couple of years back. We're renting when my mother got

158
00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:39,640
Speaker 3: really sick and we moved in with her so I

159
00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:42,280
Speaker 3: could be her caregiver. We moved in when we were

160
00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:46,400
Speaker 3: dating and married a year into us living here, everything

161
00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:49,560
Speaker 3: is under my mother's name, house and cars. My husband

162
00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:52,240
Speaker 3: forty four mal and I thirty six female, have separate

163
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:55,960
Speaker 3: banking accounts and no shared banking accounts. All my income

164
00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:59,520
Speaker 3: goes to my account and he has his own, although

165
00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:02,320
Speaker 3: he hasn't had any income since twenty twenty.

166
00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:07,000
Speaker 1: That is what they say nowadays, that man, he does

167
00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:12,080
Speaker 1: not have any motion. When you don't have motion, you

168
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:17,440
Speaker 1: sometimes fall into pitfall of maintaining no motion.

169
00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:19,640
Speaker 3: Where where did you get some motion?

170
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:23,800
Speaker 1: I was born with my motion. I've been moving ever

171
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,239
Speaker 1: since I popped from my mother.

172
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:27,000
Speaker 3: Ain't that right?

173
00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:27,800
Speaker 2: This is true?

174
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:28,880
Speaker 3: You're run about.

175
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:32,960
Speaker 2: I ain't grew. It's not true. It's not grew. You

176
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:34,040
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying.

177
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:38,319
Speaker 1: Baby, Yes, I'm feeling very spunky today.

178
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:39,520
Speaker 3: You look spunky.

179
00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:40,160
Speaker 2: Thank you.

180
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,240
Speaker 3: I'm glad you brought a Tuesday fit out instead of

181
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:42,680
Speaker 3: the Monday.

182
00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:46,080
Speaker 2: I always like to rock, you know, one fit of

183
00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:46,520
Speaker 2: the day.

184
00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:50,439
Speaker 3: My mother has a living will naming me so beneficiary

185
00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:53,360
Speaker 3: of the house and both cars when she passes. When

186
00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:55,560
Speaker 3: that time does come, I know he will try to

187
00:08:55,559 --> 00:08:58,520
Speaker 3: fight for something since he feels entitled to it. Should

188
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,360
Speaker 3: I be worried when we go to court for our

189
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:03,840
Speaker 3: divorce about him getting anything from the house and cars.

190
00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:06,719
Speaker 3: Cars are paid off and house only asks forty K

191
00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:10,120
Speaker 3: left to pay it off. So the police have always

192
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:11,920
Speaker 3: tried to get you in the courts. How do you

193
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:14,160
Speaker 3: you manage to always not go to the courts?

194
00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:18,560
Speaker 1: And I always send them hologram That is why I

195
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:21,440
Speaker 1: am evaded the law of my entire life.

196
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:27,480
Speaker 2: Holograms like Tupac from Coachella. I know these things.

197
00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:32,840
Speaker 1: I remember sometimes I pull my nose and when I

198
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:33,800
Speaker 1: feel like I'm on.

199
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:37,560
Speaker 2: It, here's what I will say about this. I feel

200
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:39,160
Speaker 2: like this is very real story.

201
00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:42,000
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, people first go to Barbara's.

202
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:45,679
Speaker 2: Let the lawyers do their work. All right, you're already

203
00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:49,640
Speaker 2: doing divorce. Just let lawyers do lawyers things.

204
00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:53,440
Speaker 1: You know, ask your lawyer, preferably via mail, so they

205
00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:57,320
Speaker 1: cannot pay, make you pay for a phone call. You say, hello,

206
00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:01,000
Speaker 1: mister lawyer man, do my husband, the ex husband, get

207
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,040
Speaker 1: my house in car?

208
00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:04,040
Speaker 2: What is what's going on?

209
00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:09,240
Speaker 1: And firstly I'll mostly take care of focus on children, yep.

210
00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:11,440
Speaker 1: And just make sure your children are okay.

211
00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:13,840
Speaker 3: And bananas. No bananas taking from me.

212
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:17,000
Speaker 1: If they are bananas, give them to your kids. My

213
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:20,760
Speaker 1: minions love bananas and they are healthy bananas.

214
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:23,559
Speaker 2: Where do you think they get their yellow from? They

215
00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:24,680
Speaker 2: eat your banana sun.

216
00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:26,920
Speaker 3: Because the sun's yellow, we absorb it from me.

217
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:30,440
Speaker 1: The sun is large mass of incandescent gas, like big

218
00:10:30,559 --> 00:10:34,920
Speaker 1: nuclear furnace. The hydrogen is burnt into helium, a temperature

219
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:35,880
Speaker 1: of millions of the good.

220
00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:38,920
Speaker 3: Can we tell her about the nuclear thing we're working

221
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:40,360
Speaker 3: on back at the lab.

222
00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:43,800
Speaker 2: I told you do not ever speak of this. We

223
00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:46,720
Speaker 2: are working on the way to take over the world.

224
00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:48,480
Speaker 5: And that's the end of the story. We're gonna read

225
00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:49,079
Speaker 5: the next one.

226
00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:53,160
Speaker 3: My wife cheated on me before, and now she's cheating

227
00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:53,480
Speaker 3: on me.

228
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:55,400
Speaker 1: Again, and then she will cheat on you for a

229
00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:58,079
Speaker 1: third time if you let this just continue.

230
00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:00,480
Speaker 3: My marriage has been rocky for the last three years.

231
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:04,320
Speaker 3: My wife has been involved in emotional affairs with other

232
00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:06,360
Speaker 3: men and has moved out twice.

233
00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:09,560
Speaker 2: That you should have moved out thrice, my friend.

234
00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:10,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, that doesn't sound emotional.

235
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,920
Speaker 1: Guru lives alone when he did live alone and I

236
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:14,760
Speaker 1: live with dog.

237
00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:18,600
Speaker 2: I would rather have my dog who piees acid through.

238
00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:23,200
Speaker 1: The floor versus have a partner who break my heart

239
00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:23,959
Speaker 1: multiple times.

240
00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:25,680
Speaker 3: We were there, dude, We were right there with you.

241
00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:28,360
Speaker 3: We're trying to reconcile, and I thought things were improving.

242
00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:30,680
Speaker 3: I even took her on a trip with our kids

243
00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:33,959
Speaker 3: for her birthday. Tonight, I called her talking to one

244
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:37,360
Speaker 3: of the affair partners again. I had an appointment with

245
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:41,240
Speaker 3: a divorce attorney tomorrow, but she convinced me to cancel.

246
00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:45,080
Speaker 3: Now she's saying, I think I've been done for a while.

247
00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:49,400
Speaker 1: So she convinced you to cancel divorce so she could

248
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:53,920
Speaker 1: tell you. I don't think really this works. We must

249
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:57,280
Speaker 1: get divorced. She just likes for things to be her idea.

250
00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:01,200
Speaker 1: I guess, So tell your partner or tell your wife.

251
00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:04,280
Speaker 1: If you want to save your marriage, tell your wife.

252
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,520
Speaker 1: Got it on me? Why don't you go take that man?

253
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,120
Speaker 1: Do you walk down the street with your wife?

254
00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:09,200
Speaker 6: Well?

255
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:10,960
Speaker 2: I did. Dear Leila, Lida.

256
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,160
Speaker 1: Look at that man over there. Would it not be

257
00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:18,000
Speaker 1: great if you and him made the bank bam bam?

258
00:12:18,679 --> 00:12:22,040
Speaker 1: And she would say, no, honey, I would not like to.

259
00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:24,960
Speaker 2: Do this because now it is not my idea.

260
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:29,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I totally agree, Grew. I'm struggling with intense

261
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:33,000
Speaker 3: anger and betrayal. I feel like I'm on the edge

262
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:37,640
Speaker 3: of lashing out or exposing everyone involved. It's late, I

263
00:12:37,679 --> 00:12:40,000
Speaker 3: have no one to turn to, and I can't sleep.

264
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:43,360
Speaker 3: I just need help getting through to Thursday, when I

265
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:46,520
Speaker 3: can meet with my therapist. Honestly, you can meet with Groo.

266
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:50,720
Speaker 3: He loves talking about emotions and all those things that

267
00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:52,800
Speaker 3: come with it. He has great relationship advice.

268
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:56,480
Speaker 2: I am very, very fast divorce attorney. I don't think

269
00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:59,640
Speaker 2: you need therapist. I think you need divorce attorney. And

270
00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:02,800
Speaker 2: I think here's what I tell you.

271
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:06,000
Speaker 1: You'll take the kids, you will take all of the assets,

272
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:08,880
Speaker 1: you will take the house. You tell me where she

273
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:12,559
Speaker 1: will be. I use freeze ray Bom, she is now

274
00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:17,440
Speaker 1: frozen boom. Then you go to court, she never show

275
00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:21,959
Speaker 1: up because she frozen. You get whatever you want. You

276
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:29,280
Speaker 1: pay me five hundred, six hundred thousand dollars and we

277
00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:29,800
Speaker 1: are done.

278
00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:34,120
Speaker 3: That's that's not that expensive, not at all. Not everyone's

279
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:34,600
Speaker 3: got done.

280
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:38,920
Speaker 1: Everybody wants to have big shot freeze ray divorce lawyer,

281
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:41,360
Speaker 1: but no one likes to pony up the door once

282
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:42,120
Speaker 1: it's time to.

283
00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:44,960
Speaker 3: Pay that tue. Freeze Ray and again, all you have

284
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:45,520
Speaker 3: to do.

285
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:47,920
Speaker 2: Is freeze Ray and then you just take a step back.

286
00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:50,920
Speaker 2: Solved all the problem, and you say, who did this, officer?

287
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,080
Speaker 2: Someone has frozen this lady.

288
00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:56,040
Speaker 1: And once you go to the police, they don't expect you,

289
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,800
Speaker 1: even when you have big evil face.

290
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,560
Speaker 2: YEA deception is an art, my friend.

291
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:05,200
Speaker 1: Just like your wife deceived you by sleeping with many

292
00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:08,880
Speaker 1: other people, you now will deceive your wife and the

293
00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:14,800
Speaker 1: police by turning her into ice cube and taking all

294
00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:15,680
Speaker 1: of this stuff with you.

295
00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:20,120
Speaker 3: Yes, agreed? All right, ooh, this one's this was pretty good.

296
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:24,240
Speaker 3: This one retains me, all right. My husband requested an

297
00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:26,920
Speaker 3: open relationship, so I slept with my boss.

298
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:31,200
Speaker 2: I cannot confirm nor deny. It's very dark. It's very

299
00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:33,040
Speaker 2: dark in the minion laboratory.

300
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,760
Speaker 3: I thirty four female, have been married to my husband,

301
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,560
Speaker 3: thirty six male, for two years. About six months ago,

302
00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:42,400
Speaker 3: my husband requested an open relationship and I accept it's

303
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:43,560
Speaker 3: what's an open relationship?

304
00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:45,360
Speaker 2: It is when people make mistake.

305
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:49,000
Speaker 1: No, I'm just kidding, and it's not always, but very

306
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:52,240
Speaker 1: It's like, Okay, here's what open relationship means.

307
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:58,760
Speaker 2: We are together. You see that man over there, I want.

308
00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:02,240
Speaker 1: To touch him, and if I touch him, you can

309
00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:03,840
Speaker 1: touch that lady. Mmm.

310
00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:05,040
Speaker 2: Do you agree?

311
00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:05,680
Speaker 3: Ah?

312
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:10,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, Now we both begin our pursuit and

313
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,400
Speaker 1: that is open relationship. And then at the end of

314
00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:14,720
Speaker 1: the day they come back home and they say, how

315
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:18,240
Speaker 1: is your day? And you said great, great, I made

316
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:21,560
Speaker 1: boom boom with the lady down street and she says,

317
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:25,080
Speaker 1: that is cool. My fitness trainer also helped me do

318
00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:28,320
Speaker 1: bang bang bang bang. Yes, And then you say, let's

319
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,680
Speaker 1: watch a television show.

320
00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:33,520
Speaker 3: Yes, that was fine with it? Did it? Question it?

321
00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:36,640
Speaker 3: We're both happy. We have a few rules, such as

322
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:40,320
Speaker 3: no introducing the lover and no bringing them home. About

323
00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:43,520
Speaker 3: a month ago, my boss started flirting with me, and

324
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:45,120
Speaker 3: in mind, I actually enjoyed it.

325
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:48,160
Speaker 1: So here's what I will ask right now. On real level,

326
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:53,520
Speaker 1: you start open relationship. But part of open relationship is

327
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:54,239
Speaker 1: you will.

328
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:59,120
Speaker 2: Never ever introduce other people or ever really even talk

329
00:15:59,160 --> 00:15:59,600
Speaker 2: about it.

330
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,520
Speaker 1: So very hush, really, it is like a secret shame

331
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:05,800
Speaker 1: that is open out.

332
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:09,560
Speaker 2: And open, and so why even do it?

333
00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:11,720
Speaker 1: You say I'm okay with this, But if you were

334
00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:14,160
Speaker 1: really okay with it, wouldn't would you not be able

335
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:18,160
Speaker 1: to just say hello, Hello, person who is not a

336
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,640
Speaker 1: threat to me, I do not care anything for or

337
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:24,920
Speaker 1: I'm worried about. Yeah, that's why I immediately catch that

338
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,120
Speaker 1: is not going to work.

339
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,800
Speaker 3: I flirted back a week ago. There was a celebration

340
00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:32,280
Speaker 3: party and we both got really drunk and slept together.

341
00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:35,080
Speaker 3: Two days later, my husband said he wanted to close

342
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:39,000
Speaker 3: the relationship because we were distant. I said, yes, not

343
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:41,920
Speaker 3: entirely happy, and he said we have to say who

344
00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:44,440
Speaker 3: we slept with. I set us up in my boss

345
00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:47,080
Speaker 3: and he freaked out, calling me an ahole. I will

346
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:47,600
Speaker 3: not lie.

347
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:51,080
Speaker 1: I mean typically, you know you don't want to be

348
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:52,479
Speaker 1: banged around.

349
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:54,280
Speaker 2: With people who are so close to you in your life.

350
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:56,960
Speaker 1: Yes, when you do this. The only time I ever

351
00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:00,240
Speaker 1: see this work. It is not going around and having

352
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,920
Speaker 1: the bang with the boss. It is having the bank

353
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:07,960
Speaker 1: with somebody on you know, the twenty two turnstyle lane.

354
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:11,040
Speaker 2: I don't know, yeah, not someone you work with who

355
00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:11,520
Speaker 2: work with you.

356
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:14,440
Speaker 3: San Parpisco oh, he also tell my family. Now they're

357
00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:17,000
Speaker 3: blowing up my phone? So am I the a hole?

358
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:19,000
Speaker 3: I mean, you know, I have a pretty close relationship

359
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:22,240
Speaker 3: with my boss, but I don't. I don't think i'd really.

360
00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:26,320
Speaker 1: Closer than I would like. Sometimes, if I'm being perfectly honest, you.

361
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:28,240
Speaker 3: Always tell me do something. I have to be there

362
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:31,240
Speaker 3: for you else I'm supposed to do. Just go, let

363
00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:34,119
Speaker 3: me go, let me banana? What else am I supposed

364
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:34,280
Speaker 3: to do?

365
00:17:34,359 --> 00:17:36,240
Speaker 2: I wish I could make you go back to the

366
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:39,320
Speaker 2: way that you water before. You know how to speak English?

367
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:40,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, work for the eddies?

368
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:41,960
Speaker 2: So sassy?

369
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:43,359
Speaker 3: I hate working for the eddies?

370
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:47,560
Speaker 2: Does anybody else thinking? Is so sassy? Now? English to me?

371
00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:49,640
Speaker 5: And that's the end of the story. We're gonna read

372
00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:50,160
Speaker 5: the next one.

373
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:54,679
Speaker 3: My fiance's best friend try to ruin my life? So

374
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:57,600
Speaker 3: why proved her wrongh.

375
00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:58,600
Speaker 2: Good luck trying to ruin this life?

376
00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:02,240
Speaker 3: Trigger warning mentions of a few months ago, my fiance's

377
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:04,840
Speaker 3: friend accused me of a lying about parts of my

378
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:09,120
Speaker 3: past and said I was harassing her mentally and soon physically.

379
00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:13,480
Speaker 3: My fiance, shocked after hearing this, confronted me about it,

380
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:17,960
Speaker 3: and I provided proof of everything. Screenshots, photos, and text

381
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:21,760
Speaker 3: conversations with these people without getting defensive or angry. I

382
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:25,480
Speaker 3: was shocked and pissed, yes, but not at my fiance.

383
00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:28,320
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from playful command of fifteen.

384
00:18:28,359 --> 00:18:29,800
Speaker 3: If you want us to my own stories, go to

385
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:33,560
Speaker 3: the r sayeh, okay stories. I'm Subreddit, I'm Riley, I'm Dakota,

386
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:37,120
Speaker 3: I'm Carly, and we're here to give good advice. Goofully,

387
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:39,840
Speaker 3: but we do not have all the answers. If you

388
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:43,200
Speaker 3: have any quips or ideas or comments, put them down below.

389
00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:45,919
Speaker 3: We'd love to read them. So hope, he says. My

390
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:48,680
Speaker 3: fiance went back to tell her friend to stop, as

391
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:51,200
Speaker 3: she believed me and chose to stay with me. Even

392
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:54,439
Speaker 3: my fiance's family believed me about all of this and

393
00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:57,520
Speaker 3: even begged the friend to stop and to drop it.

394
00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:01,880
Speaker 3: But this person was so sure, so convinced about her claims,

395
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:05,400
Speaker 3: that she called my jobs multiple times and asked if

396
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:09,600
Speaker 3: anything happened with certain workers. My work got involved and

397
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:13,560
Speaker 3: launched an investigation, which put me on suspension from getting

398
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:18,000
Speaker 3: my compensation for four months, screwing up my pay and

399
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:22,120
Speaker 3: my fiancees badly. My job told her they couldn't give

400
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:26,800
Speaker 3: more information about employees, but she decided that meant I

401
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:30,400
Speaker 3: was lying. I admit it. I was a very violent kid.

402
00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,560
Speaker 3: I was angry out the world and grew up in

403
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:35,320
Speaker 3: a bad home situation. I got help and worked on

404
00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:38,359
Speaker 3: myself for years. I'm better now. All of this was

405
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,960
Speaker 3: over fourteen years ago, and I'm not that same person anymore.

406
00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:46,320
Speaker 3: But now this person is spreading all this debunked information

407
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:49,520
Speaker 3: to my fiance's friend group, and instead of going to

408
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:53,080
Speaker 3: her to ask more questions, they all pushed her aside

409
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:56,159
Speaker 3: like it was nothing. She's been depressed for a while

410
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,720
Speaker 3: and is scared all of her friends will stop hanging

411
00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:01,480
Speaker 3: out with her or talking with her anymore. They've been

412
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:04,000
Speaker 3: her rock for years. I don't know what to do.

413
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,480
Speaker 3: I was thinking of taking a step back and taking

414
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:08,520
Speaker 3: a break, but that would feel wrong on my end.

415
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:10,760
Speaker 3: I also feel like this is partly my fault, since

416
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,919
Speaker 3: I didn't tell my fiance some parts of my past

417
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:16,359
Speaker 3: because I'm still working through them in therapy. She knew

418
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:19,000
Speaker 3: I was a violent kid and that I didn't grow

419
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:21,280
Speaker 3: up in the best place, but she knows all the

420
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:24,399
Speaker 3: major stuff and understood that I would have told her

421
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:27,800
Speaker 3: everything in time. I feel like this person is jealous

422
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:31,400
Speaker 3: of our relationship because she waited until after I proposed

423
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:35,040
Speaker 3: we've been together for over three years, both currently over

424
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:39,000
Speaker 3: twenty five and living together to throw all this at her.

425
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:42,159
Speaker 3: On top of that, she waited until my fiance was

426
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,360
Speaker 3: alone in a way from me. My fiance had gone

427
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,239
Speaker 3: on a trip with her family and stated at her

428
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:50,400
Speaker 3: family's place the night before since they were leaving early

429
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:53,159
Speaker 3: in the morning. They even told my fiance that the

430
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:56,600
Speaker 3: friend was jealous of our relationship. I really don't know.

431
00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:59,440
Speaker 3: I don't know what to say or do at this point,

432
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:03,119
Speaker 3: fe like I'm spiraling. It's making my fiance and me

433
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:06,159
Speaker 3: feel crazy. I don't know what else to do about this,

434
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:10,760
Speaker 3: and I need another perspective or any advice. My fiance's

435
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:13,960
Speaker 3: family knows about this because she told them what's happening.

436
00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:17,000
Speaker 3: She was at their home crying and in shock about

437
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 3: the accusations, so her mom asked her to explain. It's

438
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,040
Speaker 3: her mom's idea to call me and ask about it,

439
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:25,640
Speaker 3: as my fiance was worried I be defensive or yell

440
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:29,240
Speaker 3: at her due to the past relationship trauma. The friend

441
00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:33,280
Speaker 3: was never interested in my fiance's past relationship. My fiance

442
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 3: had been in a few bad ones, some partners, even

443
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:40,400
Speaker 3: her in front of this friend, and she did nothing

444
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,680
Speaker 3: during that time. She only said something after they broke up.

445
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:46,600
Speaker 3: They had been friends for over ten years, and before

446
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:50,920
Speaker 3: all this, they were best friends, facetiming weekly and very close.

447
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:53,560
Speaker 3: Why didn't I go to the cops sooner? I was

448
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:57,040
Speaker 3: dealing with family issues, including my dad attacking me, which

449
00:21:57,119 --> 00:22:00,240
Speaker 3: led me to getting a restraining order since he knew

450
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:03,159
Speaker 3: where I lived. My fiance and this friend had always

451
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:06,119
Speaker 3: been close until these last few months. She has stood

452
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:09,040
Speaker 3: her ground and told his friend a few times to stop,

453
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:13,479
Speaker 3: but the friend said I needed psychological help, jokes on her.

454
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,879
Speaker 3: I'm still in therapy fourteen years later and getting better,

455
00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:20,719
Speaker 3: and that my fiance was blind for not seeing the truth.

456
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:23,600
Speaker 3: When my fiance confronted her about calling my job and

457
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:27,200
Speaker 3: messing up my pay, she wasn't even sorry the.

458
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:28,239
Speaker 2: Stuff I was accused of.

459
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:31,639
Speaker 3: Apparently I lied about my friend's passing, which this person

460
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:33,960
Speaker 3: thought I made it up, even though it happened six

461
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,720
Speaker 3: to seven years ago. She also thought I made up

462
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:40,119
Speaker 3: my ex, who I was with for two years before

463
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:40,919
Speaker 3: meeting my fiance.

464
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:44,600
Speaker 1: Waity, did you just say she's accusing you of making

465
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,960
Speaker 1: up a person who passed away, who did pass away.

466
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:51,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, that ex used to treat me horribly. I still

467
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:55,320
Speaker 3: off scars, oh my gosh, on me from what she did.

468
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:58,199
Speaker 3: But this friend didn't believe me because there were no

469
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:02,760
Speaker 3: police reports or photos online. It was ridiculous. As for

470
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:06,040
Speaker 3: my job, they're protecting me, but my reputation is ruined.

471
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:09,560
Speaker 3: I'm only staying until I find something better. Customers and

472
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:12,000
Speaker 3: some coworkers can even look at me because they think

473
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:16,919
Speaker 3: I'm a harasser and an awful person. A small field,

474
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:20,680
Speaker 3: so word travels fast. My company can protect me only

475
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:23,840
Speaker 3: so much. And update. So we got a little glimpse

476
00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:26,040
Speaker 3: into what was said.

477
00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:27,639
Speaker 2: Well, what is this.

478
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:31,919
Speaker 3: Vengeful act all about? What was her side of it?

479
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:33,200
Speaker 3: I need to know her evil plan.

480
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:36,200
Speaker 2: I don't know. But if this is all, if she's

481
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:37,880
Speaker 2: making claims that's affecting.

482
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:40,920
Speaker 1: Your ability to make your money at your job and

483
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:44,200
Speaker 1: your reputation and stuff like, that's probably prosecutable. I don't

484
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,040
Speaker 1: know if that's I don't know. I don't know if

485
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,000
Speaker 1: I would even advise going down that path. I don't

486
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,919
Speaker 1: know if that's it would bear any fruit anyway. Yeah,

487
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:55,080
Speaker 1: but like yeah, I would probably focus one hundred percent

488
00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:58,200
Speaker 1: of my energy in getting things straight with my job

489
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:00,880
Speaker 1: and making sure that that it's not at risk.

490
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:05,119
Speaker 3: Yeah in any way. Update last night, after our weekly

491
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:07,680
Speaker 3: dinner date, I asked my fiance if we could talk

492
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:11,160
Speaker 3: about this whole situation with her nowlex friend. She agreed.

493
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:13,880
Speaker 3: I told her, I know we're supposed to go look

494
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:16,439
Speaker 3: at wedding venues, but we need to put that on

495
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:19,800
Speaker 3: hold until this is done. She agreed completely. I told

496
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:22,160
Speaker 3: her I'm not comfortable with his friend and that she

497
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:24,959
Speaker 3: needs to either minimize contact or cut it off entirely

498
00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:28,520
Speaker 3: because it's clear she was trying to ruin our relationship.

499
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:31,040
Speaker 3: I told her that no matter what I do, this

500
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:34,760
Speaker 3: person will always see me as violent. My fiance understood

501
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,560
Speaker 3: and actually wanted to talk about it too. She finally

502
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:40,200
Speaker 3: had a conversation with a close friend group and learned

503
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:43,640
Speaker 3: that this friend was spreading lines about everything. She told

504
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:47,240
Speaker 3: them the truth with screenshots as proof, and they were shocked.

505
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:52,240
Speaker 3: They said things like, if you were really mistreated, we'd

506
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:55,520
Speaker 3: have helped you, but clearly that's not the case. They

507
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 3: treat you so well, and you guys never seem to

508
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:01,280
Speaker 3: have problems. What she's saying is in it's A lot

509
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:04,879
Speaker 3: of other lies were uncovered, and her friends apologize, cried together,

510
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 3: and even messaged me personally to say that they were

511
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:09,760
Speaker 3: sorry and couldn't imagine how painful this was for me.

512
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:12,119
Speaker 3: They all decided to confront this friend and get to

513
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,439
Speaker 3: the bottom of why she did this in the first place.

514
00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:17,080
Speaker 3: I also talked to the cops and was told I

515
00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:20,480
Speaker 3: have a case to press intimidation charges. I was going

516
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:23,240
Speaker 3: to talk to my company's lawyer, but my boss boy

517
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:27,280
Speaker 3: Love Dearly gave me his personal lawyer. Oh now I

518
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:29,200
Speaker 3: have a meeting with him on Monday. Thank you to

519
00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:31,800
Speaker 3: everyone who gave me the advice. I deeply appreciate it.

520
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:34,560
Speaker 3: Update two A lot has happened. A lot has happened

521
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:37,560
Speaker 3: since then, and honestly this will be my final update.

522
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:41,080
Speaker 3: The friend group confronted the now ex friend this is

523
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:43,800
Speaker 3: all coming from my fiance, who gave me permission to share.

524
00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:46,760
Speaker 3: When they confronted her, she tried to say that I

525
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:50,080
Speaker 3: was twisting the truth and filling their heads with lies,

526
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:53,400
Speaker 3: claiming she was only protecting them from me. The friend

527
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:57,360
Speaker 3: group called her out on everything, hacking my personal account,

528
00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:01,440
Speaker 3: calling my job excessively and even talking to my parents.

529
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:05,479
Speaker 3: Apparently she had been in contact with my harmful father,

530
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:08,720
Speaker 3: saying I was a low life and a piece of garbage.

531
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:10,840
Speaker 2: Dang, He's probably like, yeah, I know.

532
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:12,800
Speaker 6: What did she think she was doing with that?

533
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:17,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, so she's been in cahoots with Opie's dad, which

534
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:19,960
Speaker 3: he Opie had to get a restraining order against because

535
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:21,680
Speaker 3: his dad tried to attack him.

536
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:23,800
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think this is uh.

537
00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:27,800
Speaker 1: You know, look, clearly this person also has their own

538
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:31,280
Speaker 1: stuff that they're dealing with and affected by. I think

539
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:34,080
Speaker 1: it's good that you know that the story has been

540
00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:34,840
Speaker 1: set straight.

541
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:39,439
Speaker 3: After some back and forth, she finally admitted she was

542
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:44,200
Speaker 3: in love with my fiance, oh to the point of obsession.

543
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:47,840
Speaker 3: She had been tracking my fiance's phone when she traveled,

544
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 3: talking to her exes to learn about her, following my

545
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:55,119
Speaker 3: mutual friends, going to my gym, and even following me

546
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:58,760
Speaker 3: home without my knowledge. She was convinced that if she

547
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:02,080
Speaker 3: got me out of myance's life, my fiance would come

548
00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:05,480
Speaker 3: to her. And here's the kicker, this person still has

549
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:10,560
Speaker 3: a boyfriend of ten years. The group told her to

550
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:15,639
Speaker 3: never contact any of them again and completely cut her off.

551
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:18,760
Speaker 3: She tried to convince everyone that I was a real psycho,

552
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:22,400
Speaker 3: but no one believed her. They helped my fiance leave

553
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:25,159
Speaker 3: because she was trying to keep her there. I was

554
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:26,959
Speaker 3: so happy we got the evil plan out of this.

555
00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 1: Yes, thank god, we got the context, We got everything.

556
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:31,119
Speaker 2: We know it all.

557
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:33,000
Speaker 3: Now, like, what is happening?

558
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:35,640
Speaker 2: No stone left unturned?

559
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:37,639
Speaker 3: How do we get We got to think of a

560
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:39,960
Speaker 3: way to get the job back on our side. I

561
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:41,920
Speaker 3: think a PowerPoint of all the things that have happened

562
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:42,040
Speaker 3: to be.

563
00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:43,719
Speaker 2: Like, hey guys, so this is what I think they

564
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:46,320
Speaker 2: I think they are. I think they're back. No, no, no, no,

565
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:46,920
Speaker 2: because you're here.

566
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:49,480
Speaker 3: There was a reputation still ruined at his job, So like,

567
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:50,520
Speaker 3: how do we get that back?

568
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 2: Oh well, I.

569
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,800
Speaker 3: Think a power point or show them this podcast.

570
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:57,800
Speaker 1: I think because word travels, I think word will also

571
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:01,040
Speaker 1: travel it. This was bs Okay, his boss has given

572
00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:04,600
Speaker 1: him his own person, his personal lawyer. I'm sure it'll

573
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:07,040
Speaker 1: get around that, Like, yeah that was. I mean if

574
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:14,680
Speaker 1: you're literally like you sue for like whatever whatever that is, slandered, libel, defamation,

575
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:17,320
Speaker 1: whatever that is. I forget which one is written, in

576
00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:22,199
Speaker 1: which one is spoken, But yeah, that'll get around and

577
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:23,400
Speaker 1: then you'll probably be fine.

578
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:25,560
Speaker 3: I thought that this was the end of it, but

579
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:28,280
Speaker 3: it wasn't. Oh No, I got called into the office

580
00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:31,080
Speaker 3: at work and learned she had called again, saying horrible

581
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:34,000
Speaker 3: things that made me physically sick. Cops were called, and

582
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:37,479
Speaker 3: now there's another case against her. Thankfully, my company cares

583
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:40,600
Speaker 3: and is now taking extra measures to protect me and

584
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:44,440
Speaker 3: my team on site security, blogging her from any contact,

585
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:48,240
Speaker 3: and providing me with another therapist. Since the mental toll

586
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:51,400
Speaker 3: is showing, we filed for restraining order and sent a

587
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:53,560
Speaker 3: cease and assist letter through the lawyer.

588
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:55,360
Speaker 5: I hope this will be the end of it.

589
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:58,800
Speaker 3: I can't keep my hopes up too much, but at

590
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:01,800
Speaker 3: least we're fighting back. Any advice on how to cope

591
00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:04,400
Speaker 3: or just hobbies to help get my mind off of

592
00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:07,160
Speaker 3: this would be amazing, because I don't know how much

593
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:07,920
Speaker 3: more I can take.

594
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:09,760
Speaker 5: And that's the end of the story. We're gonna read

595
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 5: the next one.

596
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 2: Hey, it's Sam.

597
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:13,400
Speaker 5: We'll get back to the stories.

598
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:15,360
Speaker 2: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

599
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 1: My girlfriend wanted to keep our relationship a secret, even

600
00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:20,880
Speaker 1: after almost.

601
00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:22,480
Speaker 3: A year secret relationship.

602
00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:26,600
Speaker 1: And this story comes directly from the Okay storytime subreddit.

603
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:28,440
Speaker 2: I male, twenty six.

604
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:31,280
Speaker 1: Am a very introverted person and have not been interested

605
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:33,080
Speaker 1: in relationships or women in general in.

606
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:34,120
Speaker 2: My life so far.

607
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 1: The focus of my life is on my family, especially

608
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:40,440
Speaker 1: my twin brother Jake, who is my best friend and advisor.

609
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:44,280
Speaker 1: I've been with my girlfriend Anna female twenty six for

610
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 1: about a year.

611
00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 2: Thanks to her, I have.

612
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 1: Also discovered the wonder of Reddit stories and after quietly

613
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:53,400
Speaker 1: reading along with her and watching the videos, I would

614
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:55,880
Speaker 1: like to try using it as a tool for advice.

615
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:57,000
Speaker 2: For my own relationship.

616
00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 1: And by the way, this comes from users sad profect

617
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,120
Speaker 1: S seven ninety one nine and if you want to

618
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:04,040
Speaker 1: submit your own stories, go to the r slash showcase

619
00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:06,440
Speaker 1: storytime subred it where this story was submitted.

620
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:07,800
Speaker 2: I'm Dakota, I'm.

621
00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:08,760
Speaker 6: Riley, I'm Carly.

622
00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:11,320
Speaker 1: We're here to give you good advice goofilly, but we

623
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:13,240
Speaker 1: don't have all the answers. We only know what we

624
00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:14,920
Speaker 1: would do, so if you would do something different, let

625
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 1: us know in the comments. As op says, to fully

626
00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:21,720
Speaker 1: understand the problem, I need to explain myself a bit

627
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:25,880
Speaker 1: after graduating, I started the one year practical part of

628
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:28,320
Speaker 1: my training in the fall of twenty twenty four, at

629
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:31,200
Speaker 1: the very small company where I had initially worked part time.

630
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:33,520
Speaker 2: It's important to note that most.

631
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:35,840
Speaker 1: Of the staff are very young and get along well,

632
00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:38,720
Speaker 1: and there are several small groups of friends. I always

633
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:41,480
Speaker 1: felt very comfortable at work, mostly because I felt very

634
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:44,800
Speaker 1: welcome there, and also because my twin brother Jake, and

635
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:48,000
Speaker 1: a good friend Maria female thirty four, who I have

636
00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:50,480
Speaker 1: known since university, worked there too.

637
00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:52,400
Speaker 2: In mid twenty twenty.

638
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:55,400
Speaker 1: Four, Anna also began the practical part of her training

639
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:59,720
Speaker 1: at my company. There, she quickly became friends with Maria.

640
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:03,200
Speaker 1: At the same time as Anna, a nice guy named

641
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:06,960
Speaker 1: Max male thirty four started working with us, who soon

642
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:10,240
Speaker 1: became her best friend and later also a very good

643
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:13,280
Speaker 1: friend of mine. Maria thought Anna and I would make

644
00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:16,200
Speaker 1: a great couple and made it her mission to convince

645
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:19,040
Speaker 1: both of us of this without the other person.

646
00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:20,840
Speaker 2: Knowing she was playing a little matchmaker.

647
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:23,320
Speaker 1: At first, I didn't want to hear about it, even

648
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:26,880
Speaker 1: though I immediately found Anna very likable. However, Anna was

649
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 1: a lot more open to the topic. When Anna then

650
00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:32,040
Speaker 1: asked me out on a date, I agreed after a

651
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:35,600
Speaker 1: short moment of hesitation. We got along great right away

652
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:37,920
Speaker 1: and soon started seeing each other almost every day.

653
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:41,000
Speaker 2: We didn't let our differences in dating history distract us.

654
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:43,920
Speaker 1: While she had dated many people and had also been

655
00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:46,120
Speaker 1: in a serious two and a half year long relationship,

656
00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:50,240
Speaker 1: I was very inexperienced when it came to dating and relationships. Finally,

657
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:53,400
Speaker 1: just three weeks after our first date in November twenty

658
00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 1: twenty four, we became a couple. At that point, we

659
00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:59,320
Speaker 1: hadn't slept with each other or at each other's places.

660
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:01,840
Speaker 1: It all happened very quickly, but we soon spent every

661
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:04,160
Speaker 1: minute together and I was sleeping at her place almost

662
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:06,680
Speaker 1: every day as I was still living at home and

663
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:09,520
Speaker 1: we enjoyed the privacy. I soon got to know her

664
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:12,600
Speaker 1: family and we got on great as well. After two

665
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:16,040
Speaker 1: months of the relationship, at most, I was only visiting

666
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 1: my parents' house where I actually live sporadically. At work,

667
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:23,120
Speaker 1: no one knew anything except Jake, Max, and our mutual

668
00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:26,360
Speaker 1: friend Maria, who all of them worked there.

669
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:27,160
Speaker 2: At first.

670
00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 1: This was the best and easiest solution for both of us,

671
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:32,840
Speaker 1: as we were still officially in training and focused on

672
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:36,959
Speaker 1: successfully completing our final exams. In January, Jake, Maria and

673
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:41,240
Speaker 1: I finally passed our exams with flying colors and celebrated together.

674
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:44,080
Speaker 1: At the beginning of twenty twenty five, it was still

675
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:46,120
Speaker 1: clear to Anna and me that we wanted to keep

676
00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:49,080
Speaker 1: our relationship secret from our other colleagues. This was also

677
00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:51,200
Speaker 1: supported by the fact that I did more than just

678
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:54,160
Speaker 1: help her prepare for her final exam in scientific thesis,

679
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:58,600
Speaker 1: which the instructors probably would have noticed, but especially since

680
00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:01,280
Speaker 1: we had the feeling they all already suspected that there

681
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:03,520
Speaker 1: was something going on between us, and that she had

682
00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:06,440
Speaker 1: received a lot of help with her partial exams. Some

683
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:08,800
Speaker 1: people at work who were close to Anna suspected that

684
00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:11,600
Speaker 1: she was in a relationship or she admitted it. She

685
00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:14,840
Speaker 1: then told them that her boyfriend's name was Johans because

686
00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:18,800
Speaker 1: she thought of her former best friend Johans Male twenty six.

687
00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 1: She even showed them a photo with him ooh. Nevertheless,

688
00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 1: Anna became increasingly insistent on keeping the relationship secret, and

689
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,240
Speaker 1: I made it clear that for me this could only

690
00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:30,480
Speaker 1: be a temporary solution, and that as soon as we

691
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:32,880
Speaker 1: left work, I would not want to hide in front

692
00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:35,640
Speaker 1: of her house or mine, which were right next to work.

693
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 1: But then came the moment we had been looking forward

694
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:41,640
Speaker 1: to for a long time. Anna had successfully passed her

695
00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:44,040
Speaker 1: examine the summer, and we were both looking for new

696
00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:47,640
Speaker 1: challenges in other companies because the old company no longer

697
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:50,120
Speaker 1: had room for us. We had been together for about

698
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:52,240
Speaker 1: six months at that point. It was clear to me

699
00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:54,640
Speaker 1: that we could now officially be a couple in front

700
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:57,440
Speaker 1: of our old colleagues, some of whom were also friends,

701
00:33:57,760 --> 00:34:00,320
Speaker 1: and maybe upload a photo together or go shopping together.

702
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 1: So in my eyes, there was no longer any reason

703
00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:07,200
Speaker 1: to hide the relationship. But everything turned out differently. Right

704
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:10,480
Speaker 1: after Anna's exam, Maria asked us why we were still

705
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:13,280
Speaker 1: keeping it a secret. My friends and our mutual friends

706
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:16,280
Speaker 1: also increasingly thought it was ridiculous that she didn't consider

707
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:19,200
Speaker 1: outing us to the public an option. It became more

708
00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:20,920
Speaker 1: and more clear to me that she didn't want to

709
00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:23,960
Speaker 1: make the relationship public because she wasn't sure about it.

710
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:24,719
Speaker 2: I hoped that.

711
00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:27,680
Speaker 1: This would simply resolve itself over time, because, as planned,

712
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:31,040
Speaker 1: we both started working for other companies. Then Anna met

713
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:35,040
Speaker 1: several times with a new colleague, Noah male twenty six,

714
00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:38,440
Speaker 1: who had also started training at our old workplace and

715
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:41,280
Speaker 1: was very isolated from the rest of the colleagues. Noah

716
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:43,799
Speaker 1: initially claimed that he was meeting with Anna to find

717
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:45,399
Speaker 1: out how things were going at work and.

718
00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:46,360
Speaker 2: Who he should avoid.

719
00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:49,759
Speaker 1: However, right away it was clear to Anna and me

720
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:52,719
Speaker 1: that he was hoping for more from the meeting and

721
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:56,400
Speaker 1: is as he has also had my in Jake's numbers,

722
00:34:56,719 --> 00:35:00,600
Speaker 1: but had only contacted Anna before the first meeting.

723
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:02,759
Speaker 2: Anna asked me if I was okay with it, and I.

724
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:05,520
Speaker 1: Agreed because I trusted her, of course, and she hates

725
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:09,200
Speaker 1: cheating just as much as I do. Although I wasn't jealous,

726
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:12,120
Speaker 1: it bothered me a little that Anna was basically going

727
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:14,720
Speaker 1: on a date, which I found a little unfair to Noah,

728
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:17,720
Speaker 1: even though I didn't like him very much and fully

729
00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:18,439
Speaker 1: trusted her.

730
00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:21,279
Speaker 3: It's okay to be jeous. It's okay to be jos.

731
00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:23,560
Speaker 3: That is basically the definition of jealousy.

732
00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:25,560
Speaker 1: And also you should say that to her if that's

733
00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:27,600
Speaker 1: how you really feel, however, you really feeling about the situation,

734
00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 1: you should say it to her. It's not like overly,

735
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:32,480
Speaker 1: just like yeah, and it doesn't have to be like

736
00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:33,759
Speaker 1: a and I'm like mad at you.

737
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:35,280
Speaker 2: It's like, no, this is just how I'm feeling.

738
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:37,319
Speaker 1: I feel like it feels kind of weird because he

739
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:41,000
Speaker 1: might probably he probably thinks he probably wants to date you.

740
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:44,080
Speaker 1: He probably wants you. He doesn't know that we're dating clearly,

741
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:47,680
Speaker 1: so he thinks you're single. Yeah, yeah, and yeah, I

742
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:51,239
Speaker 1: think he should know that you have a boyfriend. She

743
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:53,719
Speaker 1: then met up with another colleague from our old job,

744
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:56,880
Speaker 1: Michael Mail thirty five. Michael used to be Jake's trainer

745
00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:59,000
Speaker 1: at work, and we all got along well with him.

746
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:01,560
Speaker 1: To understand this situation, it's important to mention that Anna

747
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:03,839
Speaker 1: had once asked Michael out on a date, but he

748
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:06,839
Speaker 1: ghosted her after the first meeting, which she's still very

749
00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:10,560
Speaker 1: angry about to this day. I don't know if this

750
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:13,799
Speaker 1: meeting which Michael arranged was a date for him. I

751
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:17,040
Speaker 1: only know that he still thinks Anna is st is single.

752
00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:19,879
Speaker 1: Before Anna gets any undeserved hate, I have to mention

753
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:22,279
Speaker 1: that I was and am still sure that she is

754
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:24,840
Speaker 1: faithful to me. Nevertheless, it felt more and more like

755
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:27,560
Speaker 1: a stab in the heart that Anna didn't want or

756
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 1: couldn't fully commit.

757
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:29,839
Speaker 2: To our relationship.

758
00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 1: During this time, our relationship also suffered greatly because she

759
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:36,439
Speaker 1: increasingly noticed my dissatisfaction and I was having a very

760
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:39,080
Speaker 1: hard time at my new job. During this period, I

761
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:41,880
Speaker 1: also learned a few things in conversation with Anna that

762
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:44,719
Speaker 1: were very unexpected for me. Although I always knew that

763
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:47,879
Speaker 1: Anna liked Max very much and found him attractive, when

764
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:50,359
Speaker 1: I asked her about it, she admitted that she had

765
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:53,400
Speaker 1: feelings for Max until a few days or weeks before

766
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:56,160
Speaker 1: we started dating. She also mentioned, when talking about our

767
00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:58,960
Speaker 1: spicy sleep life, that she used to sleep with Johannes,

768
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:02,560
Speaker 1: her former best friend, with whom she now had little

769
00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:03,760
Speaker 1: contact these days.

770
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:04,480
Speaker 2: Clocked it.

771
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:08,440
Speaker 1: Clocked it over there earlier at the beginning of our relationship,

772
00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:10,319
Speaker 1: when she was meeting up with him, she told me he.

773
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:11,080
Speaker 2: Was just a friend.

774
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:13,400
Speaker 1: When I reminded her about it, it turned out that

775
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:16,440
Speaker 1: we apparently have different definitions of friendship and that she

776
00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:20,000
Speaker 1: forgot this conversation. I don't think Anna was lying on

777
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:22,200
Speaker 1: purpose to me at the time, and of course she

778
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:24,440
Speaker 1: could sleep with whoever she wanted before she knew me,

779
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:27,600
Speaker 1: but I didn't understand why she mentioned it in passing.

780
00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:30,360
Speaker 1: According to her, it was just a minor detail in

781
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:33,120
Speaker 1: their friendship. For me, the issue wasn't that I didn't

782
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:35,319
Speaker 1: trust her, but I didn't understand why she didn't think

783
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:38,400
Speaker 1: it was worth mentioning when she usually told me so much.

784
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:38,960
Speaker 2: About her friends.

785
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:42,600
Speaker 1: After these brief conversations, the subject was never brought up again.

786
00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:45,440
Speaker 1: I soon began to hint very carefully and casually that

787
00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:49,239
Speaker 1: we could slowly make our relationship completely public, perhaps on

788
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:50,439
Speaker 1: our first anniversary.

789
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:52,840
Speaker 2: She admitted that she found.

790
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:55,440
Speaker 1: It very difficult to go public, and even started crying

791
00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:57,839
Speaker 1: once or twice when I brought it up. But each

792
00:37:57,840 --> 00:38:00,800
Speaker 1: of these brief conversations was forgotten by the next morning

793
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:04,680
Speaker 1: at the latest. Once referring to our situation, she mentioned

794
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:07,040
Speaker 1: that she and her ex boyfriend had also kept their

795
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:10,760
Speaker 1: relationship secret from their friend group at university for two years.

796
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:13,239
Speaker 1: So my own doubts about the future of our relationship

797
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:16,400
Speaker 1: began to grow stronger and stronger. But I always knew

798
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 1: and still know, that she's a great person with a

799
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:21,040
Speaker 1: good heart. In the fall of this year, after a

800
00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:23,440
Speaker 1: few weeks, I reached a low point in my new job,

801
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:25,680
Speaker 1: which is why I now felt that I wanted to

802
00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:28,320
Speaker 1: at least address the problems in our relationship so that

803
00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:31,360
Speaker 1: I wouldn't end up in a complete depression. Finally, I

804
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:35,520
Speaker 1: decided to discuss the future of our relationship in calm situation. However,

805
00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:39,120
Speaker 1: the conversations were usually short and as usual, forgotten by

806
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:41,600
Speaker 1: the next morning at the latest, even though we were

807
00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:44,600
Speaker 1: now aware of each other's dissatisfaction. In one of our

808
00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:48,040
Speaker 1: conversations and brought up another problem that she had already

809
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:51,520
Speaker 1: hinted at before. It concerned our spicy sleep life. We

810
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:55,040
Speaker 1: used to have the spicy sleep every one to two weeks.

811
00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 1: That was absolutely fine with me because I don't place

812
00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:00,400
Speaker 1: as much importance on it. However, since she showed me

813
00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:03,719
Speaker 1: very little physical affections such as hugs or similar gestures,

814
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:06,600
Speaker 1: and I'm unfortunately not perfect in that regard either, I

815
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:09,040
Speaker 1: always found it very difficult to take a step towards

816
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:11,759
Speaker 1: her in this regard. However, since she had a lot

817
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:14,600
Speaker 1: of the spicy sleep in her life before, I had

818
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:18,480
Speaker 1: suspected for some time that this could be a problem. Unfortunately,

819
00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:21,640
Speaker 1: these conversations did not improve our situation, but rather had

820
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:25,120
Speaker 1: the opposite effect. At first, we basically stopped having spicy sleep,

821
00:39:25,120 --> 00:39:26,840
Speaker 1: which wouldn't have been a problem for me, but it

822
00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:30,400
Speaker 1: showed me that she was unhappy, so we basically didn't

823
00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:33,800
Speaker 1: have any for the last two months. What bothered me most, however,

824
00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:36,360
Speaker 1: was that she stopped touching me, kissing me, and saying

825
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:36,920
Speaker 1: I love you.

826
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:37,560
Speaker 3: Oh.

827
00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:40,600
Speaker 1: She rarely initiated kisses her hugs, often only once a day,

828
00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:43,319
Speaker 1: but now it was even less, which never bothered me

829
00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:46,080
Speaker 1: before but now it did. We also had a short,

830
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:49,520
Speaker 1: slightly emotional conversation about a possible breakup and the future

831
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:52,040
Speaker 1: after that, even though we still really like each other

832
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:55,640
Speaker 1: and want to work on our problems somehow. Honestly, I think,

833
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:58,600
Speaker 1: I think talk to your brother about this, My guy.

834
00:39:58,640 --> 00:39:59,960
Speaker 3: I forgot about his twin on my fear.

835
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:01,120
Speaker 2: You said you got a twin.

836
00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:02,839
Speaker 1: Time to talk to your brother, and I think he's

837
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:05,600
Speaker 1: gonna tell you you deserve somebody who celebrates you.

838
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:07,719
Speaker 2: And it sounds like you guys got a lot of problems.

839
00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:08,399
Speaker 2: I don't know.

840
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:13,400
Speaker 1: I think theoretically they could be salvaged, but like, you

841
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:16,640
Speaker 1: have to have two parties that want to do it,

842
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:18,160
Speaker 1: and I don't think she does.

843
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:21,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, And that's and having your first relationship. Of course

844
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:23,640
Speaker 3: you want it to work out. Yeah, but you gotta

845
00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:26,160
Speaker 3: also come to that conclusion. It's hard stuff.

846
00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:29,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just don't think she's in it.

847
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:33,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, you guys have already had a hypothetical breakup talk.

848
00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:35,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, and she keeps avoiding it.

849
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:37,560
Speaker 2: I just think you might just need to pull the

850
00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:38,799
Speaker 2: plug my guy, and.

851
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:41,800
Speaker 3: You got hopes of finding another one? I mean yeah,

852
00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:45,720
Speaker 3: to be honest, my brother had issues with finding girls,

853
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:47,480
Speaker 3: and I was like, dude, I don't I only ever

854
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:50,440
Speaker 3: think he's gonna find a girlfriend. Now he's engaged, so

855
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:53,960
Speaker 3: taken to it. Y'all can too. It's a handsome man.

856
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:56,120
Speaker 3: He just didn't like put himself out there all the time.

857
00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:57,239
Speaker 3: And I'm like, broh, you got it.

858
00:40:57,360 --> 00:40:59,960
Speaker 1: Now I'm on a short vacation with Jake, his brother,

859
00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:02,919
Speaker 1: to recover from my stressful new job, and I'm thinking

860
00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:05,640
Speaker 1: about how to deal with this situation with Anna. Meanwhile,

861
00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:07,960
Speaker 1: she's meeting up with Michael again, and I hope that

862
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:11,120
Speaker 1: no unpleasant situation arises like it did with Noah, who

863
00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:13,600
Speaker 1: was also not particularly thrilled when he found out Anna's

864
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:16,440
Speaker 1: in a relationship, even though it's not clear to Noah

865
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:19,480
Speaker 1: with whom, especially since Jake and Max still work with

866
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:22,160
Speaker 1: Noah and Michael, among others. I'm worried about how the

867
00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:25,040
Speaker 1: situation will turn out, regardless of whether Anna and I

868
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:28,120
Speaker 1: remain a couple. How should I deal with the situation now?

869
00:41:28,239 --> 00:41:30,320
Speaker 1: And am I the a hole for pressuring Anna to

870
00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:32,560
Speaker 1: go public, even though I know how difficult it is

871
00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:36,680
Speaker 1: for her. No, absolutely not. It's your relationship. Isn't a

872
00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:37,520
Speaker 1: secret to be kept.

873
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:39,840
Speaker 2: It shouldn't be. Yeah.

874
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:42,279
Speaker 1: Should I break up with her even though we still

875
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:47,279
Speaker 1: usually get along well pretty well and still love each other. Yeah,

876
00:41:47,320 --> 00:41:50,319
Speaker 1: you should. I think it's time to break up. That's

877
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:52,640
Speaker 1: the end of that story. I think you need to

878
00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:55,440
Speaker 1: get say hey, you know what, this was good. It

879
00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:57,520
Speaker 1: doesn't feel like you have any bad blood, which is good.

880
00:41:57,560 --> 00:42:01,080
Speaker 2: You don't want it. You just say, hey, we tried this.

881
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:03,040
Speaker 2: I don't think it's working. I don't.

882
00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:06,399
Speaker 1: I'm not really. I just I'm not comfortable with where

883
00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:08,680
Speaker 1: we're at, and I don't think. I don't think this

884
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:11,080
Speaker 1: is gonna be good for either of us to try

885
00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:14,120
Speaker 1: to salvage it. So I think, you know, I just

886
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:15,160
Speaker 1: wish you the best, and.

887
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:16,080
Speaker 2: It's good to move on.

888
00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:18,920
Speaker 3: We had a good time. It was great. It will

889
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:21,920
Speaker 3: be difficult, Opie. You got us. You're one of us.

890
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:23,479
Speaker 2: That's right, you're here one of us.

891
00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:24,000
Speaker 3: It's all good.

892
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,480
Speaker 2: You can't take that away from you. It's no secret

893
00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:29,040
Speaker 2: that you're one of us. Yeah, and that's the end

894
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:32,319
Speaker 2: of this story. Let's head to the next one. John

895
00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:33,239
Speaker 2: here og host.

896
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:35,000
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to these stories, but a quick

897
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:36,200
Speaker 1: three minute break from house.

898
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:36,680
Speaker 2: From our sponsors.

899
00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:41,400
Speaker 6: My boyfriend's mother might be faking her sickness. Now I

900
00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:42,240
Speaker 6: want to leave.

901
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:43,600
Speaker 3: I'd be sick of it too.

902
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:47,280
Speaker 6: I twenty five female, live with my boyfriend Liam twenty

903
00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:50,960
Speaker 6: four male. About a month ago, his mom Tanya began

904
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:56,120
Speaker 6: claiming she's passing away of camp, but no diagnosis has

905
00:42:56,160 --> 00:43:00,759
Speaker 6: been confirmed. Every hospital visit ends with herbie being sent home.

906
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:05,000
Speaker 6: A nurse even told Liam she might be faking. By

907
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:07,919
Speaker 6: the way, this comes from No Selection forty twenty eight.

908
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:09,680
Speaker 6: If you want us to make your own stories, go

909
00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:13,160
Speaker 6: to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. I'm Carly, I'm Riley,

910
00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:16,400
Speaker 6: and I'm Keon, and we're here to give good advice. Goofily,

911
00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:18,880
Speaker 6: but we don't have all the answers. We only know

912
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:21,040
Speaker 6: what we would do, So let us know what you

913
00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:23,760
Speaker 6: would do in the comments. It started when she stayed

914
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:27,400
Speaker 6: one night at our one bedroom apartment that turned into

915
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:32,239
Speaker 6: a week of chaos. She refused ac and fans said

916
00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:35,640
Speaker 6: they hurt her skin, but below dried her hair daily.

917
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:39,920
Speaker 6: The apartment smelled awful. Everything had to be dark and silent,

918
00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:44,279
Speaker 6: and she constantly demanded help. She even stormed into our

919
00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:50,640
Speaker 6: bedroom at three am asking Liam for massages. We sleep unclothed,

920
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:55,279
Speaker 6: so that was awkward. She criticized our Buddhist souvenirs, insisted

921
00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:59,760
Speaker 6: we hang across I did and complained non stop.

922
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:01,640
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.

923
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:05,239
Speaker 6: She suggested we move in with her, an hour from

924
00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:08,279
Speaker 6: our jobs and school. I'm a full time student with

925
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 6: two jobs and a four point zero GPA, and I

926
00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:15,440
Speaker 6: was falling behind. Liam, who works full time, switched to

927
00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:19,280
Speaker 6: remote work. His boss hated this. To care for Tanya.

928
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:24,200
Speaker 6: Her health updates were always shifting. MRI canceled surgery, then

929
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:29,040
Speaker 6: chemo postponed due to infection, then E coli, always a

930
00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:33,760
Speaker 6: new reason, no clear diagnosis or paperwork. When her husband, David,

931
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:37,360
Speaker 6: who funds her lifestyle, was away, she made us go

932
00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:40,640
Speaker 6: to her house to get her jewelry because she'll thinks

933
00:44:40,719 --> 00:44:44,280
Speaker 6: he'll steal it when she passes away. He's a heavy drinker,

934
00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:46,600
Speaker 6: according to her. We were supposed to take her to

935
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:50,800
Speaker 6: the er right after, but we ended up staying sixteen

936
00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:55,719
Speaker 6: hours doing chores. I folded four hundred and twenty clothing items,

937
00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:59,359
Speaker 6: cleaned the whole house and felt like her unpaid maid.

938
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:03,360
Speaker 6: Not a single please or thank you. Gee was stalling

939
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:06,080
Speaker 6: to go to the er, and when we finally got

940
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:09,839
Speaker 6: there at five am, she said she'd check herself in

941
00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:13,279
Speaker 6: and sent us home. Three hours later, she called us again,

942
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:16,920
Speaker 6: sobbing for help. She had been rejected by the er.

943
00:45:17,320 --> 00:45:20,560
Speaker 6: I suspect she faked it. Liam and I have both

944
00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:24,640
Speaker 6: been skipping meals, losing sleep, and falling behind at work

945
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:27,239
Speaker 6: to help her. He's once said he's waiting for her

946
00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:30,160
Speaker 6: to pass away so we can move to Europe. He's

947
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:36,160
Speaker 6: been forced to manage her divorce, lawyer meetings and funeral prep. Meanwhile, David,

948
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:38,920
Speaker 6: who's paying the hospital bills and had been kept in

949
00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:42,640
Speaker 6: the dark about all this, sent Liam aggressive text like

950
00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:45,680
Speaker 6: I call bs and don't show up at my house

951
00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:50,560
Speaker 6: no more. Then later apologized. Tanya called again, begging for help,

952
00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:53,800
Speaker 6: but this time she wanted me because David is jealous

953
00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:57,720
Speaker 6: of Liam. I had clearly told Liam that I needed

954
00:45:57,719 --> 00:46:01,319
Speaker 6: that weekend to study for final exams, and going to

955
00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:04,839
Speaker 6: that house alone seemed sketchy. Now I'm planning a two

956
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:08,440
Speaker 6: to three week Europe trip to see my mom, who

957
00:46:08,520 --> 00:46:11,239
Speaker 6: I haven't seen in over a year. Liam says he

958
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:14,800
Speaker 6: supports it, but called it a little selfish. He asked,

959
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:17,680
Speaker 6: if I were passing away, would you quit your job

960
00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:20,120
Speaker 6: to be with me? And if it were your mom,

961
00:46:20,239 --> 00:46:22,919
Speaker 6: would you help her? I felt pressured to say yes,

962
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:25,960
Speaker 6: but truth is, my family wouldn't lie to me or

963
00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:29,360
Speaker 6: use me like this. Also like, well, that's different than Liam.

964
00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:32,560
Speaker 6: It's your mom. You go be with your mom if

965
00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:34,600
Speaker 6: you really need that help. I'll be there for you,

966
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:37,040
Speaker 6: but I haven't seen my mom in years.

967
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:40,920
Speaker 3: Also, he's asking the wife treatment, yeah, friend status.

968
00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:43,480
Speaker 6: I love Liam and I want to be there for him,

969
00:46:43,640 --> 00:46:47,040
Speaker 6: but I don't trust his mom and this is starting

970
00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:49,520
Speaker 6: to affect our relationship. Am I the a hole for

971
00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:53,600
Speaker 6: refusing to help Tanya and going home to Europe? Consensus

972
00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:56,799
Speaker 6: not the a hole. Advice ranges from sit him down

973
00:46:56,840 --> 00:47:00,160
Speaker 6: and set some boundaries, to just go visit your mom alone,

974
00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:03,120
Speaker 6: to break up with both of them since you didn't

975
00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:05,319
Speaker 6: sign up to be in a three pole comments by

976
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:09,759
Speaker 6: op Here's the refined version with repetitive parts removed while

977
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:13,719
Speaker 6: maintaining your authentic voice. He's assured me multiple times that

978
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:16,719
Speaker 6: I'm his priority. If I told him to stay with me,

979
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:19,480
Speaker 6: instead of going to the hospital. He would And the

980
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:22,319
Speaker 6: only times I'll ever ask him to stay is when

981
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:25,239
Speaker 6: I can tell his own health is suffering from him.

982
00:47:25,280 --> 00:47:27,959
Speaker 6: He's also ready to move to Europe with me. It's

983
00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:30,680
Speaker 6: just that he's getting guilt tripped by his mother. Every

984
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:33,239
Speaker 6: time he tries to leave the hospital. She falls to

985
00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:35,960
Speaker 6: her knees and says stuff like God will bless you

986
00:47:36,040 --> 00:47:39,040
Speaker 6: more if you stay, this is our last meal together.

987
00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:42,879
Speaker 6: Or I have no one. I am all alone. And

988
00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:45,960
Speaker 6: that's what gets to him that I need to see

989
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:48,440
Speaker 6: these doctors, like I need to speak to a doctor.

990
00:47:48,560 --> 00:47:51,799
Speaker 3: Yeah. I totally forgot about the whole cross thing.

991
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:56,200
Speaker 6: Yeah. That bothers me because making someone hang across Yeah, yeah.

992
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:58,200
Speaker 3: Because in the Bible does a Versa says if someone

993
00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:01,640
Speaker 3: is of a different religion, don't like mock them or whatever.

994
00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:04,000
Speaker 3: You're a guest and you be in you're nice, and

995
00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:06,520
Speaker 3: you're like, okay, cool. Yeah, if you have offerings that

996
00:48:06,640 --> 00:48:09,760
Speaker 3: you're for your religion, yes, you don't mock them. You're like, okay,

997
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:11,759
Speaker 3: I respect that. I'm gonna be over here.

998
00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:13,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, all in the house.

999
00:48:13,239 --> 00:48:15,600
Speaker 3: This is in your place for you doing your house.

1000
00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:18,400
Speaker 6: Recently, he asked me to come to the hospital with

1001
00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:21,319
Speaker 6: him to give him a reason to leave early. When

1002
00:48:21,320 --> 00:48:22,960
Speaker 6: we tried to explain to her that we have an

1003
00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:25,879
Speaker 6: appointment elsewhere, she cut us off and said just go.

1004
00:48:26,040 --> 00:48:29,080
Speaker 6: Then she didn't care for an explanation. When Liam said,

1005
00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:32,280
Speaker 6: by mom, I love you, she just snapped back actions,

1006
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:35,440
Speaker 6: speak louder than words. Don't call me anymore. But then

1007
00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:38,719
Speaker 6: two hours later she calls him and begs for him

1008
00:48:38,719 --> 00:48:41,439
Speaker 6: to come back. I don't get it, so I don't

1009
00:48:41,480 --> 00:48:43,960
Speaker 6: think he sees it. I've brought up once that what

1010
00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:48,640
Speaker 6: she's doing is manipulation, and he said that's a bit harsh.

1011
00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:51,080
Speaker 6: I then asked him if he thinks he's ever been

1012
00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:54,439
Speaker 6: manipulated by his mom, and he said, oh, definitely. She's

1013
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:57,760
Speaker 6: the biggest manipulator I know. But this is different because

1014
00:48:57,800 --> 00:49:00,880
Speaker 6: she's actually sick, so she just really needs me to

1015
00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:03,800
Speaker 6: be with her. So I think he's a bit in denial.

1016
00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:06,880
Speaker 6: Unless I'm the crazy one and she really is sick,

1017
00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:10,480
Speaker 6: I'd owe the world in apology. So he's just my boyfriend,

1018
00:49:10,719 --> 00:49:14,600
Speaker 6: but we've been serious for three years. Doesn't make a difference.

1019
00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:18,960
Speaker 6: I definitely see him as a husband in many ways. Anyways.

1020
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:23,360
Speaker 6: To give context, he's handling all her documentations and divorce

1021
00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:26,960
Speaker 6: and all that because she's too sick to do it herself.

1022
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:30,239
Speaker 6: She can't take care of herself at all. At least

1023
00:49:30,239 --> 00:49:33,560
Speaker 6: that's what I'm being told. Again. I'm super skeptical, but

1024
00:49:33,640 --> 00:49:37,719
Speaker 6: there's always the possibility that she is actually passing. It's

1025
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:40,440
Speaker 6: been going on for so long now that I'm starting

1026
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:44,040
Speaker 6: to doubt my own thoughts. It's really not my boyfriend's fault.

1027
00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:47,799
Speaker 6: He's amazing and still trying to please everyone. He's been

1028
00:49:47,960 --> 00:49:51,560
Speaker 6: so good to me and has always prioritized me. It's

1029
00:49:51,719 --> 00:49:54,880
Speaker 6: just challenging right now because his mom is using guilt

1030
00:49:54,880 --> 00:49:57,080
Speaker 6: to make him obey. When I said I don't want

1031
00:49:57,080 --> 00:49:59,160
Speaker 6: to go to her house alone, he told her so

1032
00:49:59,480 --> 00:50:02,239
Speaker 6: and she hung up. He wouldn't do anything I'm not

1033
00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:04,640
Speaker 6: comfortable with. Even when I said I don't want her

1034
00:50:04,719 --> 00:50:06,960
Speaker 6: to move back in with us, he said he can

1035
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:10,560
Speaker 6: get her an airbnb so we have our privacy at

1036
00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:12,640
Speaker 6: our apartment. I just don't know how to deal with

1037
00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:15,680
Speaker 6: the thought that she's faking when everyone close to her

1038
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:18,760
Speaker 6: believes that she's not. It really does make me feel

1039
00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:21,440
Speaker 6: like the a hole, because if she really is sick, well,

1040
00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:25,000
Speaker 6: damn and if she were to pass away right as

1041
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:28,440
Speaker 6: I'm overseas, I'd fly back in a heartbeat to be

1042
00:50:28,520 --> 00:50:31,520
Speaker 6: there for my boyfriend, no question. I just feel like

1043
00:50:31,560 --> 00:50:34,200
Speaker 6: I can't stay here and tend to her during my

1044
00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:38,080
Speaker 6: summer break and get guilt tripped every day when I

1045
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:41,080
Speaker 6: could be spending some time with my own family. It

1046
00:50:41,160 --> 00:50:44,640
Speaker 6: does feel very selfish, but I haven't seen my family

1047
00:50:44,760 --> 00:50:47,439
Speaker 6: in a year and am not sure if it makes

1048
00:50:47,440 --> 00:50:50,200
Speaker 6: me the a hole to leave my boyfriend behind. I

1049
00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:52,520
Speaker 6: wish he could just come with me, and he said

1050
00:50:52,560 --> 00:50:55,080
Speaker 6: he totally would if he had any more PTO, but

1051
00:50:55,280 --> 00:50:58,440
Speaker 6: he used it all on his mom. Downvoted. I don't

1052
00:50:58,480 --> 00:51:01,239
Speaker 6: think I've ever given all I can give them. Ever

1053
00:51:01,320 --> 00:51:03,720
Speaker 6: since she made me clean her house, I've been trying

1054
00:51:03,840 --> 00:51:07,200
Speaker 6: very hard to avoid her. I felt so humiliated that day.

1055
00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:09,880
Speaker 6: So my boyfriend has been tending to her for a

1056
00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:12,799
Speaker 6: month straight now, while I've been tending to him, not

1057
00:51:12,960 --> 00:51:15,720
Speaker 6: his mom. I've also been trying to focus on school

1058
00:51:15,760 --> 00:51:19,680
Speaker 6: and work, but he is my priority, not Tanya, and

1059
00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:22,239
Speaker 6: I feel bad that he doesn't have that option to

1060
00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:25,479
Speaker 6: just focus on himself without feeling like a horrible son.

1061
00:51:25,680 --> 00:51:28,720
Speaker 6: He feels so lonely in this because all his family

1062
00:51:28,719 --> 00:51:32,120
Speaker 6: members say they care, but nobody is involved the way

1063
00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:34,640
Speaker 6: he is. Somebody suggests therapy for the mom is a

1064
00:51:34,760 --> 00:51:37,560
Speaker 6: must if she wants to stay. Ever since we invited

1065
00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:39,920
Speaker 6: her to stay one night, I had the feeling it

1066
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:42,680
Speaker 6: was going to be months until this gets settled. I

1067
00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:46,680
Speaker 6: like your advice. However, my boyfriend is strictly against therapy.

1068
00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:49,719
Speaker 6: Have kindly suggested it to him in the past with

1069
00:51:49,800 --> 00:51:53,359
Speaker 6: his own issues, but he refuses to even consider it.

1070
00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:56,720
Speaker 6: I doubt he'll suggest it to his mom, especially since

1071
00:51:56,719 --> 00:51:59,960
Speaker 6: he doesn't think she's manipulating us. I will try, though.

1072
00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:02,839
Speaker 6: Worst thing that can happen is he says no, thank you.

1073
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:05,120
Speaker 3: I know we're reading this on text. We don't know

1074
00:52:05,160 --> 00:52:07,719
Speaker 3: what this couple looks like, how long or how well

1075
00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:10,040
Speaker 3: they are when they get together, or like if they're

1076
00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:10,720
Speaker 3: even a good couple.

1077
00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:13,360
Speaker 6: It's been three years. I think they said three years.

1078
00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:16,480
Speaker 3: I'm giving them one last try. This is gonna happen.

1079
00:52:16,719 --> 00:52:19,560
Speaker 3: I'm out ultimatum. I'm not a big fan. Actually, I'm

1080
00:52:19,600 --> 00:52:22,120
Speaker 3: a big fan of ultimatums in the right scenarios. Okay,

1081
00:52:22,239 --> 00:52:24,600
Speaker 3: this feels like it. He's not seeing it. You're gonna

1082
00:52:24,640 --> 00:52:26,120
Speaker 3: have to still be your little minion.

1083
00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:29,880
Speaker 6: We've tried getting her assisted living and hired help, but

1084
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:34,120
Speaker 6: somehow they all refuse to take the gig. Something's always

1085
00:52:34,120 --> 00:52:36,520
Speaker 6: preventing her from getting help, and I can't tell if

1086
00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:40,000
Speaker 6: it's true or if she's the one denying help. Also,

1087
00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:41,960
Speaker 6: I do not think that his family should be as

1088
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:45,200
Speaker 6: important as mine. We see our partnership as a family,

1089
00:52:45,520 --> 00:52:48,239
Speaker 6: meaning his family is, whether I like it or not,

1090
00:52:48,520 --> 00:52:50,920
Speaker 6: my family. So I do think if she was passing,

1091
00:52:51,120 --> 00:52:53,880
Speaker 6: I shouldn't just go on vacation in Europe. I'm only

1092
00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:56,799
Speaker 6: considering it because I don't believe she's that sick, and

1093
00:52:57,000 --> 00:52:59,360
Speaker 6: if she is, then she should get help and not

1094
00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:02,239
Speaker 6: exploit my boyfriend. I also feel like this has been

1095
00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:05,440
Speaker 6: sounding like it's not any like imminent passing. So if

1096
00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:08,040
Speaker 6: you're going to Europe for three weeks, like very soon,

1097
00:53:08,320 --> 00:53:10,040
Speaker 6: I don't think there's gonna be that fear of her

1098
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:11,720
Speaker 6: like passing while you're gone.

1099
00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:14,759
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it might be her last meal with her son,

1100
00:53:14,920 --> 00:53:15,720
Speaker 3: her son's home.

1101
00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:17,680
Speaker 6: Her son's not going on the trip, doesn't that pto?

1102
00:53:18,200 --> 00:53:20,960
Speaker 3: Well? I think he wants her to be there, remember

1103
00:53:21,080 --> 00:53:22,319
Speaker 3: every single thing.

1104
00:53:22,560 --> 00:53:24,440
Speaker 6: But he was perfectly fine with her going to Europe.

1105
00:53:24,480 --> 00:53:25,680
Speaker 6: So I'm like, yeah, go to Europe.

1106
00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:27,640
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, last inn. But as soon as it gets

1107
00:53:27,640 --> 00:53:31,279
Speaker 3: closer around the corner, the mom is gonna start not

1108
00:53:31,480 --> 00:53:35,920
Speaker 3: at shels, gonna start folding their laundry. Her son, No,

1109
00:53:36,120 --> 00:53:37,239
Speaker 3: it needs OpEd to it.

1110
00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:40,520
Speaker 6: Maybe a mixture of both. She got sick, then realized

1111
00:53:40,640 --> 00:53:43,879
Speaker 6: she could get Liam's attention all day. Every day. We'd

1112
00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:46,600
Speaker 6: been talking about moving to Europe, so maybe she wants

1113
00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:49,640
Speaker 6: to keep her only son nearby. She always seems supportive

1114
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:52,120
Speaker 6: of our plan to leave the US, so I'd be

1115
00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:54,760
Speaker 6: surprised if this is her intention. I see your point

1116
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:57,400
Speaker 6: and just want to agree so badly. I'm just so

1117
00:53:57,560 --> 00:54:00,800
Speaker 6: confused because she was always so supportive of us. She'd

1118
00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:03,120
Speaker 6: say I love you to me, buy me clothes and

1119
00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:06,520
Speaker 6: other gifts, give me her old car when mine broke down,

1120
00:54:07,080 --> 00:54:10,080
Speaker 6: and always says she loves our pictures and wants us

1121
00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:12,560
Speaker 6: to go travel the world. Granted, she has always been

1122
00:54:12,600 --> 00:54:16,120
Speaker 6: obsessed with her son and clearly jealous, but in a

1123
00:54:16,200 --> 00:54:19,240
Speaker 6: modest way. She'd never act on it other than guilt

1124
00:54:19,280 --> 00:54:22,960
Speaker 6: tripping him into spending some time with her, never anything

1125
00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:26,279
Speaker 6: as extreme as this, So I don't understand why she

1126
00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:29,960
Speaker 6: would go to such lengths if she really is faking

1127
00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:32,640
Speaker 6: some or even all of it. Part of me just

1128
00:54:32,680 --> 00:54:35,040
Speaker 6: doesn't want to believe it. But I really do feel

1129
00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:38,520
Speaker 6: like she's using her sickness in every way to get attention,

1130
00:54:39,080 --> 00:54:42,520
Speaker 6: and that's not okay to me, especially when Liam is

1131
00:54:42,560 --> 00:54:46,759
Speaker 6: getting mentally and physically exhausted and risking his job to

1132
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:50,439
Speaker 6: help her. I mean, he's already started to simply not care,

1133
00:54:50,880 --> 00:54:53,799
Speaker 6: which sounds really awful given the fact that she is

1134
00:54:53,920 --> 00:54:56,920
Speaker 6: technically passing away. She keeps saying she only has a

1135
00:54:56,920 --> 00:54:59,640
Speaker 6: few weeks or so, but Liam and I are so

1136
00:54:59,680 --> 00:55:02,799
Speaker 6: fast that he'd rather hear her say don't ever call

1137
00:55:02,840 --> 00:55:05,920
Speaker 6: me again than to drive to her house or the er.

1138
00:55:06,200 --> 00:55:08,840
Speaker 6: I'm not assertive enough to get between the two, but

1139
00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:11,680
Speaker 6: if I see his health suffer, I will step in

1140
00:55:11,760 --> 00:55:14,879
Speaker 6: and pull him back. Won't watch him unlive himself over this.

1141
00:55:15,120 --> 00:55:18,839
Speaker 6: He has been to her oncologist and apparently been diagnosed

1142
00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:22,160
Speaker 6: with uterine cancer. However, she doesn't want anyone to sit

1143
00:55:22,200 --> 00:55:24,600
Speaker 6: in when the doctor speaks to her, so I have

1144
00:55:24,800 --> 00:55:27,520
Speaker 6: no idea if it's true or if that's just what

1145
00:55:27,600 --> 00:55:29,960
Speaker 6: she's telling everyone. I don't want to be an awful

1146
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:33,640
Speaker 6: person by saying she's lying. But it just seems weird

1147
00:55:33,760 --> 00:55:37,239
Speaker 6: that her surgery and chemo keep getting pushed because she

1148
00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:40,640
Speaker 6: has infections, and then they send her home and nobody

1149
00:55:40,640 --> 00:55:43,480
Speaker 6: knows if it's getting rescheduled. I've asked my boyfriend if

1150
00:55:43,520 --> 00:55:46,080
Speaker 6: it's certain that she has cancer, and he said yes,

1151
00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:49,839
Speaker 6: and he's apparently also heard doctors talking about it and

1152
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:53,839
Speaker 6: looking bleak. But I haven't seen anything official and don't

1153
00:55:53,840 --> 00:55:56,520
Speaker 6: know if he has either or if it's all just

1154
00:55:56,640 --> 00:55:59,520
Speaker 6: Tanya's story. I also don't get why there aren't any

1155
00:55:59,560 --> 00:56:03,120
Speaker 6: clear now steps. Seems like every day is unknown. She

1156
00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:05,480
Speaker 6: might call us to her house, she might be back

1157
00:56:05,520 --> 00:56:08,000
Speaker 6: in the er, she might not talk to us at all.

1158
00:56:08,200 --> 00:56:11,839
Speaker 6: Sometimes Liam's dad calls because she's begging him for help,

1159
00:56:12,280 --> 00:56:15,080
Speaker 6: even though David is highly jealous of that man. I

1160
00:56:15,200 --> 00:56:17,359
Speaker 6: really just want to stay out of it, but I

1161
00:56:17,440 --> 00:56:20,040
Speaker 6: know my boyfriend is suffering and has a hard time

1162
00:56:20,080 --> 00:56:23,120
Speaker 6: saying no to her. One hundred percent agree. The interesting

1163
00:56:23,160 --> 00:56:25,880
Speaker 6: part is that Liam is actually not attached to his

1164
00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:28,319
Speaker 6: mom at all. He doesn't really care, or at least

1165
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:30,879
Speaker 6: doesn't care as much as I would if my mom

1166
00:56:30,960 --> 00:56:34,759
Speaker 6: was passing away. He's emotionally very numb unless it comes

1167
00:56:34,760 --> 00:56:37,719
Speaker 6: to me. So, yes, she is obsessed with him, but

1168
00:56:37,920 --> 00:56:41,839
Speaker 6: it's one sided, emotional genetic copy pasting. As you put it,

1169
00:56:41,960 --> 00:56:45,040
Speaker 6: he actually has no problem hanging up on her and

1170
00:56:45,200 --> 00:56:48,160
Speaker 6: doesn't often return her I love yous either. I always

1171
00:56:48,160 --> 00:56:50,680
Speaker 6: felt that their relationship was weird because she is in

1172
00:56:50,719 --> 00:56:54,040
Speaker 6: love with her son, but he's annoyed by her clinginess.

1173
00:56:54,239 --> 00:56:57,160
Speaker 6: Now I'm kind of glad, though, that he's like that. Otherwise,

1174
00:56:57,239 --> 00:57:00,720
Speaker 6: he definitely prioritizes mom over everything else else in the world.

1175
00:57:00,960 --> 00:57:04,359
Speaker 6: I'm still his priority. He's made that clear, even though

1176
00:57:04,400 --> 00:57:07,040
Speaker 6: I would understand if he wanted to put his mom first.

1177
00:57:07,120 --> 00:57:10,680
Speaker 6: Right now, she's just so darn persistent and won't accept no.

1178
00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:13,719
Speaker 6: Whenever he does stand his ground and refuses to help,

1179
00:57:13,880 --> 00:57:16,800
Speaker 6: she'll guilt him, get mad at him, tell him to

1180
00:57:16,960 --> 00:57:20,040
Speaker 6: never call her again, and then call two hours later

1181
00:57:20,360 --> 00:57:23,160
Speaker 6: just to ask for help again. Downvoted. He's not calling

1182
00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:25,480
Speaker 6: me selfish for not helping his mom. He's calling me

1183
00:57:25,640 --> 00:57:29,000
Speaker 6: a little selfish for leaving him behind when he needs

1184
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:32,200
Speaker 6: me emotionally. His happiness depends on me in some ways,

1185
00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:35,640
Speaker 6: and when I'm gone, his life over here will get

1186
00:57:35,720 --> 00:57:38,320
Speaker 6: so much worse for him. As a partner, I should

1187
00:57:38,360 --> 00:57:41,560
Speaker 6: support him always, not run off and have fun with

1188
00:57:41,640 --> 00:57:45,520
Speaker 6: my healthy family while he's dealing with so much bad stuff.

1189
00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:48,000
Speaker 6: I get why he's calling me a little selfish. I

1190
00:57:48,040 --> 00:57:50,520
Speaker 6: agree with him there. Let's also not forget that he's

1191
00:57:50,520 --> 00:57:53,320
Speaker 6: supporting me going and even said he'd help me pay

1192
00:57:53,360 --> 00:57:54,960
Speaker 6: if I need it. He would love to come with

1193
00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:57,480
Speaker 6: me too, So it's not so much about his mom

1194
00:57:57,600 --> 00:58:00,240
Speaker 6: as it is about his attachment to me. I get

1195
00:58:00,240 --> 00:58:02,440
Speaker 6: where you're coming from. I don't mean to go against

1196
00:58:02,480 --> 00:58:05,400
Speaker 6: your statement. I just thought a little clarification is needed

1197
00:58:05,480 --> 00:58:07,640
Speaker 6: because I don't see that my boyfriend is the a

1198
00:58:07,720 --> 00:58:10,840
Speaker 6: hole here. He's just stuck in between two parties, trying

1199
00:58:10,840 --> 00:58:13,160
Speaker 6: to please both and getting all the blame for saying

1200
00:58:13,240 --> 00:58:15,840
Speaker 6: no to either. We have an update two and a

1201
00:58:15,880 --> 00:58:16,800
Speaker 6: half months later.

1202
00:58:16,960 --> 00:58:21,320
Speaker 3: Goodness, gracious, I didn't like little manipulation tactic. Yeah, that

1203
00:58:21,360 --> 00:58:24,720
Speaker 3: you're a little selfish. Yeah, instead of fully supporting her.

1204
00:58:24,720 --> 00:58:26,640
Speaker 6: I'm kind of weird. And then, oh, are we learning

1205
00:58:26,640 --> 00:58:27,360
Speaker 6: that from our mother?

1206
00:58:27,800 --> 00:58:28,520
Speaker 3: I believe so.

1207
00:58:28,920 --> 00:58:31,720
Speaker 6: Update two and a half months later. A lot has

1208
00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:35,000
Speaker 6: happened since my last posts. I did take your guys's

1209
00:58:35,080 --> 00:58:37,280
Speaker 6: advice and went to Europe to see my family for

1210
00:58:37,320 --> 00:58:41,840
Speaker 6: three weeks. Liam called me incredibly selfish.

1211
00:58:41,880 --> 00:58:43,960
Speaker 2: I called it because it happened.

1212
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:46,800
Speaker 6: Finding countless reasons for me to stay. I stood my

1213
00:58:46,840 --> 00:58:49,760
Speaker 6: ground and had a serious talk with him about feeling

1214
00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:54,280
Speaker 6: manipulated and guilt tripped. That escalated into a meltdown, threats

1215
00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:57,160
Speaker 6: like I'll book your ticket right now, I can, and

1216
00:58:57,240 --> 00:58:59,600
Speaker 6: I will, I can break up if I want to,

1217
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:03,200
Speaker 6: and then driving off and breaking down sobbing like never before.

1218
00:59:03,400 --> 00:59:06,040
Speaker 6: He said he doesn't mean to manipulate me, that it

1219
00:59:06,120 --> 00:59:08,840
Speaker 6: hurts to hear me say I feel manipulated when all

1220
00:59:08,880 --> 00:59:11,000
Speaker 6: he's asking is for me to be there for him.

1221
00:59:11,160 --> 00:59:14,439
Speaker 6: I don't excuse his behavior, but if my mom was sick,

1222
00:59:14,560 --> 00:59:17,840
Speaker 6: i'd want his comfort too, so I understand his need

1223
00:59:17,880 --> 00:59:22,000
Speaker 6: for support. He calmed, apologized, and has been affectionate since.

1224
00:59:22,160 --> 00:59:24,919
Speaker 6: He ended up supporting my decision to leave and said

1225
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:27,080
Speaker 6: how happy he was for me while I was with

1226
00:59:27,160 --> 00:59:30,800
Speaker 6: my family. I felt great over there, cherishing every moment,

1227
00:59:30,920 --> 00:59:34,040
Speaker 6: didn't miss America at all. Liam seemed okay while I

1228
00:59:34,120 --> 00:59:36,320
Speaker 6: was gone and picked me up from the airport with

1229
00:59:36,360 --> 00:59:38,640
Speaker 6: a welcome home cake, which was sweet. We had a

1230
00:59:38,720 --> 00:59:42,280
Speaker 6: talk about the whole mom situation and he kindly asked

1231
00:59:42,320 --> 00:59:44,920
Speaker 6: me to be more supportive of coming to the hospital

1232
00:59:44,920 --> 00:59:48,880
Speaker 6: with him. I agreed. Tanya was very dependent on Liam

1233
00:59:48,960 --> 00:59:52,680
Speaker 6: for weeks, calling him over day and night, guilt tripping

1234
00:59:52,760 --> 00:59:56,840
Speaker 6: him non stop. Eventually he refused to help her anymore.

1235
00:59:56,960 --> 01:00:00,600
Speaker 6: She cut ties briefly, but they reconnected. His involve has

1236
01:00:00,680 --> 01:00:04,240
Speaker 6: gone way down since then. Tanya's sister flew in from

1237
01:00:04,280 --> 01:00:07,320
Speaker 6: Cali to help out, but couldn't take her crazy demands,

1238
01:00:07,440 --> 01:00:10,760
Speaker 6: so she left. Niece came to but left three days later.

1239
01:00:10,880 --> 01:00:14,720
Speaker 6: Tanya had surgery and started chemo, is getting thinner and

1240
01:00:14,840 --> 01:00:18,120
Speaker 6: losing her hair. She has another surgery scheduled for mid

1241
01:00:18,200 --> 01:00:21,360
Speaker 6: October to get a mass removed, and a nurse at

1242
01:00:21,360 --> 01:00:23,720
Speaker 6: the hospital did say to Liam while I was there

1243
01:00:23,760 --> 01:00:26,520
Speaker 6: to witness, I'm glad you're visiting your mom so it

1244
01:00:26,560 --> 01:00:29,560
Speaker 6: can be so tough. I don't think Tanya is faking anymore.

1245
01:00:29,600 --> 01:00:33,040
Speaker 6: Am I the a hole for being unsupportive despite believing Tanya.

1246
01:00:33,200 --> 01:00:36,560
Speaker 6: I haven't been involved at all since returning from Europe.

1247
01:00:36,640 --> 01:00:39,560
Speaker 6: I'm better at standing my ground now and defending myself

1248
01:00:39,600 --> 01:00:42,440
Speaker 6: when I feel manipulated by them. I learned how to

1249
01:00:42,480 --> 01:00:45,400
Speaker 6: say no. May not have mastered it yet, but I'm

1250
01:00:45,440 --> 01:00:49,720
Speaker 6: prioritizing my grades and my family over his mom's odd demands,

1251
01:00:49,920 --> 01:00:53,040
Speaker 6: while also balancing quality time with my boyfriend. I show

1252
01:00:53,080 --> 01:00:55,840
Speaker 6: sympathy for his mom and text her here and there,

1253
01:00:56,160 --> 01:00:58,600
Speaker 6: but I agree with reddick comments that it's not my

1254
01:00:58,760 --> 01:01:02,240
Speaker 6: job to treat or nour or spend my weekends doing

1255
01:01:02,240 --> 01:01:05,680
Speaker 6: her chores. There's a little bit less other updates. Tanya

1256
01:01:05,800 --> 01:01:09,200
Speaker 6: didn't get divorced. She needs David to pay her medical bills,

1257
01:01:09,320 --> 01:01:13,080
Speaker 6: but tells people he's a rude, heavy drinker who's waiting

1258
01:01:13,120 --> 01:01:15,960
Speaker 6: for her to pass away. Liam quit his job it

1259
01:01:16,120 --> 01:01:18,360
Speaker 6: was too much on top of his mom. His mood

1260
01:01:18,520 --> 01:01:22,400
Speaker 6: is way better. He's healing mentally and treating me better too.

1261
01:01:22,640 --> 01:01:26,360
Speaker 6: I support his unemployment for now because he's working diligently

1262
01:01:26,480 --> 01:01:29,640
Speaker 6: on projects and has enough savings for his part of rent.

1263
01:01:29,800 --> 01:01:32,360
Speaker 6: I hope it brings some clarity. That's the end of

1264
01:01:32,360 --> 01:01:33,120
Speaker 6: the past story.