Speaker 1: Forever. Look man, oh I see you? Why why Bowen?
Speaker 1: Look over there? How is that nature? Yeah? Goodness? Less culture?
Speaker 1: We Oh did you hear that it went out? We
Speaker 1: have to keep it? Okay, you don't want to know what,
Speaker 1: So guess what listeners at home? Oh my god. Literally,
Speaker 1: because we are dealing with the situation in the studio
Speaker 1: right now where we all out of only one of
Speaker 1: our ears in our in our ear phones, and right
Speaker 1: before we hit record hot producer mag yelled at us
Speaker 1: and said, no sudden movement. She said, try to limit
Speaker 1: your movements. So Bowen, truly, I mean no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: we okay, we're back. We're not We're not here. We
Speaker 1: are literally being I feel imprisoned. I feel I don't
Speaker 1: feel good. But it's okay because we're going to as
Speaker 1: it's called rally um. And I just want to say,
Speaker 1: I do want to reveal I am the cause of
Speaker 1: this because the second you counted three to one down
Speaker 1: to say, I yanked my own cord completely ignoring the
Speaker 1: ground rules that were set before me, and that has
Speaker 1: resulted in us being here at this president moment with
Speaker 1: only one working headphone. You know, it's it's real and
Speaker 1: presenting the box, and she's going to try to fix it. Um.
Speaker 1: But in the meantime, this is where we are now,
Speaker 1: says this is my impression of HPM earlier. No sudden movement,
Speaker 1: she yelled, And you should know that all the hot
Speaker 1: producers here are also abusive, because that's what happens when
Speaker 1: you're hot. You treat people very badly. I have no
Speaker 1: sense of boundaries. You never learn empathy. So um, while
Speaker 1: she toils away, I have something else to address. I
Speaker 1: have an important thing to address. You have bad lift etiquette.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. What I will tell I will tell you
Speaker 1: how you run into the middle of the road. For
Speaker 1: a while, I wasn't doing absolutely tracking to see where
Speaker 1: the car was. I was like, I couldn't see our
Speaker 1: lift driver had like pulled up to the side, and
Speaker 1: I couldn't see him on the street, and I just
Speaker 1: wanted I just ducked. I did a little side side
Speaker 1: step to see if he was on the road in
Speaker 1: the lane. When do you think I was born yesterday? Stop?
Speaker 1: I truly was like, okay, great, and then and then
Speaker 1: I actually have this is so so so patently false,
Speaker 1: because I then ran to the left, opened the door,
Speaker 1: said Hi, Bowen, I have a friend coming in, so
Speaker 1: please don't drive. I'm actually not even done. Okay, so
Speaker 1: and maybe this is a little bit of it. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey, right off the fucking top. Okay.
Speaker 1: You run into the road, and you've been doing it
Speaker 1: even when we were in Los Angeles. You run into
Speaker 1: the road, and you can tell the Los Angeles drivers
Speaker 1: are like, hey, you don't need to do that. Here,
Speaker 1: it's chill, it's l a and you will run into
Speaker 1: the road and you'll you'll endanger yourself and me. And
Speaker 1: then now let me get to my second part or
Speaker 1: the or the b portion of the argument. When you
Speaker 1: open the door to get in the car, you don't
Speaker 1: get in one leg at a time. You crawl over
Speaker 1: the seat. You Bowe and Yang are a seed crawling.
Speaker 1: I'm in shorts and my might I want my knees
Speaker 1: to hit the upholstery. The last colt racist listeners have
Speaker 1: to chime in on this because we have to know
Speaker 1: what crawl and your knees are all over the sea. Damn.
Speaker 1: Why is that bad? It is so bad because it's
Speaker 1: like not how you get in the car. You get
Speaker 1: at a time and you never put anything, nothing except
Speaker 1: your butt should be on the seat. Damn no, bird,
Speaker 1: I can do. There's nothing on hygienic about my knees
Speaker 1: going on. It's not about on hygienic. It's it's that.
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's it's not it's not done. It's
Speaker 1: not done that. Okay. I don't know what they taught
Speaker 1: you at the fucking Long Island Debutante ball that you
Speaker 1: we don't have those, yeah, they and they tell you, oh,
Speaker 1: don't put your don't put your butt on the seats. No,
Speaker 1: we don't go over that there. We only go over
Speaker 1: what kind of alcohol to drink in? What water bottles?
Speaker 1: That's what That's what I learned how to get in
Speaker 1: the car the old fashioned way watching my mother and father,
Speaker 1: Thank you who said in a really good example for namorative,
Speaker 1: including all the older cousins I watched. I would watch
Speaker 1: my older cousin Jesse get in the car, and I
Speaker 1: would say, Okay, I've learned, and here you are. I
Speaker 1: don't know who the funk you've been following into vehicles,
Speaker 1: but I know you climbed all over the seat frequently.
Speaker 1: Your shoes do do Oh we're back, and it because
Speaker 1: of me because I I oh, I was turning the jack. Okay, sorry,
Speaker 1: all I'm saying is bone yang. You're running into the
Speaker 1: road afterlift. You are crawling all over the seats. It's
Speaker 1: questionable behavior. You know, who isn't questionable without a questions,
Speaker 1: without question A hot person who is not abusive. No,
Speaker 1: this person has never struck me or threatened to strike me.
Speaker 1: So if they wanted to, I would allow they wanted to,
Speaker 1: I would allow. Yeah, this is a person that could
Speaker 1: hurt me truly physically. I think about her, My soul
Speaker 1: gets lighter. We can I say, yeah, it's a joyful presence.
Speaker 1: And you two have such a deep connection. We have
Speaker 1: achieved connection spiritually spiritually. Well, we met do it at JFL.
Speaker 1: We were the same year at JFL. And you can
Speaker 1: tell this is the energy of this person. You have
Speaker 1: an interaction with this person and then you walk away
Speaker 1: and you turn around and you go, wait, there was
Speaker 1: something there, There is something there, And you have to
Speaker 1: understand the presence of a star. And so when you
Speaker 1: meet this person and exchange is so damn good, damn good,
Speaker 1: and then you hear they go onto great success. You say, well,
Speaker 1: I'm not surprised and then when you watch their performance
Speaker 1: on a Saturday Night Live and you see them slay,
Speaker 1: you say, well, that's because there was something about that
Speaker 1: person thing And I wasn't the only person that thought it.
Speaker 1: Lauren Michael's also thought. You think, yes, damn you think,
Speaker 1: damn bird, damn bird. I really love her so much.
Speaker 1: What's it like to share a space with her? We
Speaker 1: don't share face, but but you mean, just like the
Speaker 1: offense the colleagues that were such lovely colleagues. She and
Speaker 1: I have written some things that haven't seen the light
Speaker 1: of day for good reason. I guess, well, really don't
Speaker 1: know that we love our guests so much. A talented,
Speaker 1: talented comedian, and you should welcome into your an incredible actress,
Speaker 1: Heidie Gardner. That was you we were talking about. I'm blessing,
Speaker 1: No you are? You are so nice. Didn't you feel
Speaker 1: that we had a vibe at JFL. We did have
Speaker 1: like instant just like you. And then I met your
Speaker 1: incredibly dear family. O God, my husband was there and
Speaker 1: our best friend Rob who also immediately were like, we
Speaker 1: like him. Well, have you met the mother Heidie's mom?
Speaker 1: Have I met your mom? I don't think why is
Speaker 1: your mom and icon, and I con if they're every
Speaker 1: fucking was one icon? Where's her sunglasses at night? My
Speaker 1: entire life? And she says also walking down the aisle
Speaker 1: at my wedding, I thought, I'm not going to have
Speaker 1: to have that discussion. She'll know you don't wear the
Speaker 1: sunglasses down the aisle. And then as I'm going through
Speaker 1: wedding photos, I'm like she would didn't know she know
Speaker 1: because I was in the back. What happens at weddings
Speaker 1: as they come out last, I'm glaring at you needs
Speaker 1: to know better. But she I met her at an
Speaker 1: after and she it was so so such an energizing presence,
Speaker 1: her brag to Bowen, so she was full sparkle. She
Speaker 1: had a sparkly dress on, sparkly tight, sparkly boots, and
Speaker 1: Bowen and everyone else who was so kind to her
Speaker 1: at the after party, like the immediate thing they said
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, you look great, because she
Speaker 1: really did. She stunning and she let everyone know. Hold
Speaker 1: outfit five dollars like H and M dollar, dress dollar,
Speaker 1: general type dollar. Every piece was like a dollar. Yes,
Speaker 1: holy shit. It wasn't even a Warner, not a Warner.
Speaker 1: It was where is she living now because where she shopping.
Speaker 1: She's in Kansas City. I actually just got a text
Speaker 1: from her that I feel like you guys would love
Speaker 1: it was. It was an iconic test. She was at
Speaker 1: America's Best um, which is like a lens crafter is
Speaker 1: getting new lens her glasses. The first text was she
Speaker 1: saw a glasses case that had a kitten on it
Speaker 1: that looked like my cat, cubbybar. So she's like, honey,
Speaker 1: it's cheap, I'll buy it for you. I was like,
Speaker 1: I would love it, Thank you, mom. And then she said, also, honey,
Speaker 1: you know I'm a bragger. Percent of the people working
Speaker 1: at America's Best know who you are? And who were
Speaker 1: those super said that she didn't need to go back.
Speaker 1: She got to them. I just don't think I know who.
Speaker 1: So she was checking to see that they knew she
Speaker 1: wasn't informing that, and she ran the damn numbers. She
Speaker 1: rarely didn't number. She crunched the figures. She crunched the
Speaker 1: figures to get what is her name? Her first name, Ernie?
Speaker 1: Come on, Heidie know Heidie's life. How do he has
Speaker 1: people with people in pets with incredible names. I want
Speaker 1: to say Tweaky. Tweaky is her cat, and then her
Speaker 1: husband Zap. My other cat Marshall. Marshall. Marshall is a
Speaker 1: good cat name. Now is tweaky name tweaky because it's
Speaker 1: a tweaky cat. Okay, a tweaker. It's kind of like
Speaker 1: how a white cat would be named vanilla. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: yours is better because it's a personality thing. Yeah, who
Speaker 1: wants to be named based on the color of their fur?
Speaker 1: I want a tweaky cat, but tweakies probably speaking hard
Speaker 1: to deal with sometimes because I remember, remember when you
Speaker 1: moved her to New York, she did act like a baby.
Speaker 1: Like we were up at night with her. She was
Speaker 1: just so confused new place and up eleven floors rather
Speaker 1: than and so she cried all night like I don't
Speaker 1: have kids. This is going to sound very lame, but
Speaker 1: I felt like, oh, this is how it feels, because
Speaker 1: I would get up and I would take her into
Speaker 1: the living room and sit with her, which is exactly
Speaker 1: like mother. Well, I have an announcement. I don't know
Speaker 1: the cat. The cat culture is difficult, I think because
Speaker 1: they don't listen like dogs, you know what I mean? Dogs,
Speaker 1: I feel are like the guy I'm dating now has
Speaker 1: a dog and it's like, um, really, she's the only
Speaker 1: one and a half and so she's sort of all
Speaker 1: over the place, but you will tell her what to
Speaker 1: do and she'll eventually get it. Whereas a cat, I
Speaker 1: think is just kind of like I don't know what
Speaker 1: it is about their personality where they're a little bit bitchy,
Speaker 1: but like they just kind of do what they do.
Speaker 1: And the cat, the cat's personality, it's kind of like
Speaker 1: you buy the cat, it's cute, you get the personality
Speaker 1: that you get, you know what I mean. Speaking of pets,
Speaker 1: Speaking of pets, any pets on the horizon for you
Speaker 1: in your new place. Oh, I don't think so. I
Speaker 1: think like, um, well, it's interesting because are are all
Speaker 1: our friends, all of our friends. Well, Stephen just got
Speaker 1: a cat. Oh, such a cute cat. I'm not a
Speaker 1: cat person, but that tweaky and this new cat that
Speaker 1: will got cute, cute, cute. But I feel like it's
Speaker 1: so hard to it's so hard to have a pet. Yeah,
Speaker 1: when your schedule is demanding, when you're working that When
Speaker 1: I hear that anyone that can resist getting a pet,
Speaker 1: I'm like, wow, you have good boundaries and self control.
Speaker 1: I'm thinking the grass is always greener because I'm like
Speaker 1: anyone who can have a pet, like you have such
Speaker 1: good responsibility and you have got to be such a
Speaker 1: good sense of like whatever task management and like I
Speaker 1: could never I'm so like I'm such a hedonistic like
Speaker 1: blob when I'm not work that I'm just like I
Speaker 1: wanted to sit here and not have to think about
Speaker 1: anything else. Yeah, I want to have a dog eventually. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you do love to ask the question who is
Speaker 1: it for? Is it for the animal or is it
Speaker 1: for you? And tweaky sounds Tweakie lives a great life
Speaker 1: and Marshall, they really do a full life, really a
Speaker 1: full life with adventures and lots of food and everything
Speaker 1: like that. Yeah, do you have anything in the Do
Speaker 1: you have lots of toys for the animals? Yes, we have,
Speaker 1: Like there's this classic actually I just told Will about
Speaker 1: this because he has his new kitten. The classic like
Speaker 1: best cat toy is called dub bird Bird. So when
Speaker 1: you look for it, um and it's just one of
Speaker 1: those ones where you it's like a handle and then
Speaker 1: I'm the bird hangs down from it. But like that,
Speaker 1: like that sort of wire with the thing on the end,
Speaker 1: and you go like that like you like a fishing
Speaker 1: pole with with with the bird that's just like a
Speaker 1: big bird. It's just feathers. It doesn't really look like
Speaker 1: a bird, but you know, they think it does. They
Speaker 1: love that. And then but also sometimes like the other day,
Speaker 1: I took just a ribbon that I had line around
Speaker 1: and I m took one of their just mice on
Speaker 1: the floor, fake stuffed ones, and I tied the nousi's
Speaker 1: tail to the ribbon and made my own toy. And
Speaker 1: they're super into it. Yes, I think maker, toy maker,
Speaker 1: there will be no more toymakers for the King from
Speaker 1: It's from Did you watch Christmas specials when you were
Speaker 1: a kid? Like I believe it's from God. It's from
Speaker 1: one of those claimation things. Okay. Sometimes I'll like say,
Speaker 1: like even Rudolph, Yeah, you guys watch Rudolf when you're
Speaker 1: I think it's because I'm dating a Jewish man. I
Speaker 1: was like, you know this reference Rudolf and he's like, no, oh,
Speaker 1: and you think that's because he's Jewish that he doesn't know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a Christmas special okay. And he was one of
Speaker 1: those I don't know. See, the thing is like, I'm
Speaker 1: from a culture where it's like I'm from I'm from
Speaker 1: a culture of Long Island where it's like pretty much
Speaker 1: everyone is like even like Jewish people that I knew
Speaker 1: were like, yes, we do Christmas because it's Long Island culture.
Speaker 1: But then I talk to people and they're like, no,
Speaker 1: I don't know any Christmas things. It's not part of
Speaker 1: my guy's Flora Florida, which is Florida jew And yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I don't know exactly, like because I have
Speaker 1: then I think about it. I have no foreign of
Speaker 1: reference for any like Nica stuff, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Do you have a Christmas? Are you a Christmas girl? Yes?
Speaker 1: Christmas girl? And also when I hear that, like in
Speaker 1: Jewish culture not doing Christmas obviously because it's not part
Speaker 1: of it, but I also see that as really good
Speaker 1: boundaries and self controls, because it's like if you because
Speaker 1: it feels like if you could, even though it's not
Speaker 1: like why not there were a I remember I did
Speaker 1: have some Jewish friends growing up who were like, we
Speaker 1: also do Christmas, and it's like yeah, interesting, and I
Speaker 1: thought that I honestly grew up thinking like, well, even
Speaker 1: if it's not your thing. Everyone does Christmas, Christmas like
Speaker 1: you right, such Christmas is such a like a ror
Speaker 1: shock test for people because at least in terms of
Speaker 1: like upbringing, because I know I know someone who like
Speaker 1: was in such a religious family, such a religious Christian family,
Speaker 1: that they didn't celebrate Christmas. Does that make sense? Because
Speaker 1: the image because because Christmas takes away from the religion
Speaker 1: of it all exactly, it's it's it's it loops back
Speaker 1: around and be it being so secular that like they
Speaker 1: can't touch it, yes, or you have like the Christians
Speaker 1: who love like or you have like the people who
Speaker 1: are so like into Christmas for all the holy reasons
Speaker 1: and the people who like are into Christmas for the
Speaker 1: secular reason. It's like it's like it's there are so
Speaker 1: many different ways to come in on it. And they
Speaker 1: see Mariah carry stomp in and they say, I don't
Speaker 1: think so honey. For me. You know what, I think?
Speaker 1: Christmas changes year to year for me, either, like two
Speaker 1: years ago, I remember I was total Scrooge, hated it.
Speaker 1: Last year, I loved it. Three years ago I didn't care,
Speaker 1: Like it's Christmas is weird. I like it every year
Speaker 1: from no, not from a relige fam And so Christmas
Speaker 1: is about president, Yeah, it's about presence and Maria and Maria.
Speaker 1: I mean I was so I was like that little
Speaker 1: kid that would um get up in the middle of
Speaker 1: the night and unwrap the ones that my like my
Speaker 1: mammal vampos and then tape it back up. So they
Speaker 1: knew that me and my older brother were doing that,
Speaker 1: So then they would do early Christmas presents like we
Speaker 1: were disgusting. So you were so badly behaved that they
Speaker 1: were like, we can't even enjoy this press early early
Speaker 1: Christmas presents on top of regular Christmas presents. Wow, I
Speaker 1: guess that's presents. Were you a Santa hunter? A Santa hunter? Like, like,
Speaker 1: were you up being like tonight tonight? Oh? Yeah, yeah
Speaker 1: for sure. I remember one time I was gonna get Santa,
Speaker 1: Like I fully stayed up all night and I was
Speaker 1: like tonight stuff to night. And I remember my grandmother
Speaker 1: was over and I heard her say something. And spoiler
Speaker 1: alert for anyone who's listening to this podcast who thinks
Speaker 1: that in a world where Santa is just a spoiler alert,
Speaker 1: we're going to spoil the fact that Santa's not real
Speaker 1: thank you. So I went down and was like peering
Speaker 1: around my balcony and my grandmother said to my dad,
Speaker 1: what a busy Santa you've been, And I was like, gotchat.
Speaker 1: She so they knew you were gonna get up. It
Speaker 1: was four in the morning and she said it to
Speaker 1: my father because he was bringing in the gifts, and
Speaker 1: she said, oh, what a busy Santa you've been. And
Speaker 1: I literally remember being like, I got what I came for.
Speaker 1: I went back to bed. It sounds like your grandma
Speaker 1: was flirting with your dad. Yea she was. She was like, Santa,
Speaker 1: I saw Grandma kissing Dad out of the equation. Now
Speaker 1: this is embarrassing. But I wish, full on if I
Speaker 1: had three wishes that Santa was real, and I thought,
Speaker 1: I think about this a lot, so he could. That
Speaker 1: would be what is going on the whole year? Is
Speaker 1: it genuinely like if Santa is really like, is he
Speaker 1: like literally like doing research on every kid in America,
Speaker 1: being like, Okay, this person is not getting gives, this
Speaker 1: person is in in the middle of my list, like what's
Speaker 1: his life? Or it's one of those things where he
Speaker 1: just has to decompress three sixty or four days out
Speaker 1: of the year, which is just like it's so much
Speaker 1: work in one night. He would be busy if he
Speaker 1: was giving, and I don't think he would be. I
Speaker 1: think every kid gets present. I don't think he would
Speaker 1: be doing because even if you're bad, you deserve a
Speaker 1: present anything. But I think making seeing what every single
Speaker 1: kid in the whole entire world is doing, what you
Speaker 1: would need you need. There's a lot of work that
Speaker 1: you would need the whole year, and also probably you
Speaker 1: would have a lot of people working for you too,
Speaker 1: Like the Elves, I think it would be less making
Speaker 1: toys and memorabilia and more just like assisting, like kind
Speaker 1: of like being like like a like an assistant role
Speaker 1: or like you know, like a managerial clerical clerical. Really
Speaker 1: what they do is a lot of like spreadsheets. Yeah, yes, yes, yes, Honestly,
Speaker 1: you need some people that are like some meteorologist types
Speaker 1: to make sure that we're mapping out a travel plant.
Speaker 1: There's so much that goes into it. I will say
Speaker 1: just I mean, Heidi that that's such a nice idea
Speaker 1: if Santa were real. But I feel like if you
Speaker 1: were to bring stand into this world, you would be
Speaker 1: creating a life. You'd be creating a man who is
Speaker 1: who suffers so much, and would you feel comfortable bringing
Speaker 1: into the world a man who's only purpose is to
Speaker 1: make other people happy? Like I don't. I don't. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't live I couldn't live with that. But if that
Speaker 1: made him happy, I mean honestly, yeah, But this will
Speaker 1: sound cheesy, but I mean like when you make a
Speaker 1: kid's smile or when you give a kid a get
Speaker 1: For real, though I love to watch Bowen, doesn't. He's
Speaker 1: a kind of pitch who doesn't like when a kid smiles.
Speaker 1: He won't even get a pet. He won't even get
Speaker 1: a pet. You have to understand he's operating in a
Speaker 1: different wave line. My thing is like, I'm wondering what
Speaker 1: I would be comfortable with Santa making per year. Probably
Speaker 1: it's a seven figure situation. I mean, I'm gonna think
Speaker 1: maybe even like eight figures, like he might be making
Speaker 1: ten millions. Santa has to be like a trillionaire in
Speaker 1: order for us to like, for him to be so
Speaker 1: untouchable and like like he like, there's no way that
Speaker 1: he will ever like Amazon, Jeff Bezos, Disney, Bob Iger
Speaker 1: and the North Pole, Santa, Okay and the North Pole
Speaker 1: is like the corporation. I think, honestly, if we're going
Speaker 1: to name the LLCI, probably be something called North Pole
Speaker 1: LLC ho ho ho llse. And what's Mrs Claus doing?
Speaker 1: Is she just like posted up or is she involved?
Speaker 1: She's the first Lady? Yeah, she's running things too, I think, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it's a lot of work. Like the first Lady,
Speaker 1: she probably need like a platform like the best Let's move,
Speaker 1: Let's move, yeah, I think. Um. I think this is
Speaker 1: probably like really in depth discussion about Santa more the
Speaker 1: more so than move than I've ever had in my
Speaker 1: whole life. And to bravely have this conversation without it
Speaker 1: even being the Christmas season, it's really brave and it's important.
Speaker 1: Is that your favorite holiday? Christ I really like Thanksgiving
Speaker 1: to why you do enjoy the food? The food in
Speaker 1: the weather. Okay, the weather is pretty good, but I
Speaker 1: just can't be doing turkey. I mean not even the turkey.
Speaker 1: It's about you insides and just massive amounts. Yeah, see
Speaker 1: number one. I don't know. I think Christmas is my
Speaker 1: number one holiday because I don't like Halloween. M because
Speaker 1: I feel like we dress up enough. Oh yeah, don't
Speaker 1: you feel like Halloween doesn't excite you because you always
Speaker 1: get to wear a different wig. That's true, and it's
Speaker 1: never it's just never that it's like the New Year's
Speaker 1: for me, it's like you've I have done so many
Speaker 1: costumes that I thought would be a hit, yeah, and
Speaker 1: just nothing nothing, and then then like you show up
Speaker 1: and like you're uncomfortable. That's the thing about Halloween too,
Speaker 1: is it's like it's never a comfortable customers. Sometimes I'll
Speaker 1: just like dress up as as something shitty because I
Speaker 1: wanted to wear good clothes, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like I wanted to be comfortable. I want to know
Speaker 1: one like, but then you have to look hot. When
Speaker 1: you were single, did you feel the pressure to look
Speaker 1: hot on Halloween or after you were single or after?
Speaker 1: I know, I think I was never like vulnerable enough
Speaker 1: to really like be like this is what I want,
Speaker 1: Like I'll just I was just like it would be funny,
Speaker 1: I know, even but you also do that thing where
Speaker 1: you're like funny, like like my friend and I were
Speaker 1: like sig Free and Roy and the Tiger, you know
Speaker 1: and the Tiger. But I was like, so I'll be funny,
Speaker 1: but I'll like do really keep cat make up, like
Speaker 1: the blood will be cute. You know. It was just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: just go for it if that's what you want. I
Speaker 1: love that Halloween. Halloween is to me, honestly. New Year's
Speaker 1: Eve is a dress up holiday too, in terms of costume,
Speaker 1: I think, because you can just go out wearing like
Speaker 1: a little crown or wearing like some funky glasses and
Speaker 1: everyone's just like, oh, it's it's it's New Year's Eve.
Speaker 1: Let them, but you are in dragon a costume. And
Speaker 1: also New Year's Eve there comes a point which is
Speaker 1: the most exciting and then everyone knows to leave, whereas
Speaker 1: Halloween is just sort of like dirt ended and it
Speaker 1: depends depending on what day of the week it falls on,
Speaker 1: like you don't know what knights to go on. That's
Speaker 1: the whole thing, too, Sure, that's the whole thing. That's
Speaker 1: the whole thing too. You know. I heard they do
Speaker 1: Halloween very well in l oh Like I heard like
Speaker 1: like Cinta Monica Bulevard is pretty fun. Yeah. So that's
Speaker 1: though where I had So I had a year for
Speaker 1: that parade which is just huge where I was like
Speaker 1: I am going to kill it. Was like Lady Gaga
Speaker 1: was like two years into being famous, so like big
Speaker 1: and again rather than just being Lady Gaga because I
Speaker 1: was like that's like too cool and pretty. I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm going to do something funny. So I was Lady
Speaker 1: gal Ger, the comedian that would like hit. So it
Speaker 1: was like a myth Matt. It was like both things.
Speaker 1: I had the mallet and like the mustache, but I
Speaker 1: had the hair and I was like, Oh, this parade
Speaker 1: is going to love me. What is this? I dared
Speaker 1: my husband zeb and our friend to as a joke
Speaker 1: because I was like, you guys are going to fall
Speaker 1: on your faces at this parade. Will you please be
Speaker 1: the Matrix Twins? Remember, because it was like nine years
Speaker 1: later and I'm like, you're gonna get aft off the
Speaker 1: blocks and a Monica. They were the hits, Like I'm
Speaker 1: not men women throwing themselves at the Twins, the twins.
Speaker 1: It was your idea, it was my idea, but I
Speaker 1: wanted I thought they were going to get made fun of.
Speaker 1: They were the hit. I mean they were going into
Speaker 1: secret room like off barber shops like that. They were
Speaker 1: like they were for sure sex rooms and stuff and
Speaker 1: like no one, no one commented on my costume. No
Speaker 1: one got it, no one. Yeah. And then that my
Speaker 1: other friend Austin Head, I had helped him put together
Speaker 1: his costume, which was John trabol different Battlefield Earth, which
Speaker 1: looked incredible too, and one person commented on it. It
Speaker 1: was all the twins. It was Zeven who Zeven our
Speaker 1: friend Brad Yeah give about Halloween or maybe likes it now.
Speaker 1: The year before this is so bad. I made zebby
Speaker 1: Dr Evil also to be made fun of. And and
Speaker 1: that one he um did his own makeup and did
Speaker 1: his own balled cap and it was he did not
Speaker 1: come close to Dr Evil. He just looked so sick
Speaker 1: like and he almost didn't go out. Wow. Honestly, as
Speaker 1: Dr Evil is funny, it's like it's timeless time you
Speaker 1: have had some really hit or miss Halloween's Matthew had
Speaker 1: judged me the last year, absolutely dug. Last year you
Speaker 1: did Gay Jackson Maine. Yeah, it was so stupid. It
Speaker 1: was like I had no It literally was just like
Speaker 1: I wore this wig that looked like Bradley Cooper that
Speaker 1: I had I did not look That was the only
Speaker 1: part of the costume it was good. And then you
Speaker 1: were like black a black lace top. You were eyelinder
Speaker 1: and a cowboy at that was Jacks and Maine looked
Speaker 1: really really good from the from the head up. I
Speaker 1: thought the thing with me, like, it's like if everyone
Speaker 1: I'm going to do the gay anything to do my
Speaker 1: makeup ever, but what I do with eyeliner is so stupid,
Speaker 1: Like I just I like a raccoon every single time
Speaker 1: because I don't understand that you just do the top
Speaker 1: like I always give myself like a and I'm just like,
Speaker 1: because I really want to achieve my makeup goals, which
Speaker 1: is the smoky eye. I just want to be able
Speaker 1: to apply my own smoky eye. And I wanted to
Speaker 1: be like really start like Kelly Clarkson in the Breakaway era.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. The number one smoky eye
Speaker 1: of all time was Reese Witherspoon at the two thousand
Speaker 1: seven Oscars when she wore that like dusty purple dress
Speaker 1: and she had like this perfect smoky eye to match.
Speaker 1: I love a smoky eye anyway. I love it too,
Speaker 1: but it doesn't work on everyone. I know. That's what
Speaker 1: I think that it should, and that might be what's
Speaker 1: going on. I think, you know what it is. My
Speaker 1: eyebrowser too. No no, no, but that doesn't thank you,
Speaker 1: but that they are so thick. So it's like the
Speaker 1: smoky eye is like not gonna well for you. It's
Speaker 1: different because your your eyebrowser arch, your brow bone is arched.
Speaker 1: Is such a deep cliff over your eyelids maybe like
Speaker 1: it's so it juts out so far in a good way.
Speaker 1: You're saying, I have a deep cliff. I'm saying like
Speaker 1: you have, you have a deep cliff into your eyelid,
Speaker 1: So that might be part of it. Like the light
Speaker 1: there's a shadow that's being casted down onto the eyes
Speaker 1: that it blocks obscures the smoky and you think that
Speaker 1: you could pull off a better smoky I definitely can.
Speaker 1: You know. You know what I can't pull off is
Speaker 1: a cat I because I love a cat any eyeliner.
Speaker 1: I go like get sucked up into my eye liked
Speaker 1: because of my almond and it's just like, what's my
Speaker 1: albond diet. It's like the Asian instead, it's like a
Speaker 1: it's like a nice PC way of saying, like small
Speaker 1: eyes for Asian people, almond die. I was gonna say, um,
Speaker 1: I do want to talk about makeup hold on, but
Speaker 1: I have to document. I think Matt, what you do
Speaker 1: is your Halloween costumes have been they character day off,
Speaker 1: but characters that you made up that day where you'll
Speaker 1: be like I'm like I was one time five years ago,
Speaker 1: I was like who are you? And you were like,
Speaker 1: I'm the sexy secretariat where her name is Gina or yeah,
Speaker 1: one time I just like dressed up as a woman,
Speaker 1: put on a busted wig and like got drunk and
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm I'm the fuck up secretary at
Speaker 1: the party, Gina. And then everyone was like what's and
Speaker 1: that she had like a full character game, um, which
Speaker 1: was that um, she was daring people to throw drinks
Speaker 1: on her. And then and then my friend Luke did
Speaker 1: throw a wax candle on me, and I actually, to
Speaker 1: be honest with you, do you want to know whose
Speaker 1: dress I was wearing that it was ruined sy Greens?
Speaker 1: Really it was Suddy Green's quote unquote good black dress
Speaker 1: that I used for costumes. And our friend what she did,
Speaker 1: she wore it. I remember she wore she played Joan
Speaker 1: from Mad Menino sketch one time that we were doing
Speaker 1: and she she used to wear that dress and I
Speaker 1: was like, can I wear this tonight? And she's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I just don't ruin it. And then my friend Luke
Speaker 1: through wax on it and the text that she sent
Speaker 1: him afterwards was historic. What did she say? She was like,
Speaker 1: I don't understand why you would do this, and I
Speaker 1: was like okay, and then I was like, she was like,
Speaker 1: you'll pay for the dress, And this is what I'm
Speaker 1: in to reveal right now. The dress was like fifteen
Speaker 1: dollars and I think he paid like seventy bucks. So
Speaker 1: she scammed his ass. She scammed his ask down to
Speaker 1: his ask like dry cleaning bill, or she asked for
Speaker 1: many to I mean, I can tell you that the
Speaker 1: dress is still ruined and was never replaced. It's like
Speaker 1: probably at the bottom of a prop bag that I
Speaker 1: still have. But honestly that that costume was a fail,
Speaker 1: if only for its tragic ending. But I have had
Speaker 1: some good ones. I was also your husband who's having
Speaker 1: an affair at work, and I just like wore a
Speaker 1: white button down and loosened it and had like lipstick
Speaker 1: on my collar. Easy easy. I gave it to you
Speaker 1: public domain easy. And then I was Jason Stackhouse one
Speaker 1: time in blood era did you watch True Blood? No?
Speaker 1: But I think I can see you in my head.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, maybe you can. I was like, white trash,
Speaker 1: you can, you can see. But what do you want
Speaker 1: to say about makeup? I'm starting to wear a little
Speaker 1: bit of it. I'm not wearing today, but I can't
Speaker 1: put highlighter on. Sometimes I'll put it. I'll put a
Speaker 1: little highlight on, put a damn put some damn concealer on,
Speaker 1: maybe even put some setting powder, just to like let
Speaker 1: it all, let it all, let it all, likee makeup queen.
Speaker 1: And I'm just I'm thinking, like how does that get
Speaker 1: passed down to you? Like, like how do you like,
Speaker 1: how do you learn it? Except from the video? I
Speaker 1: guess like how did people just learn it before? How
Speaker 1: did you learn makeup? I think it was a little
Speaker 1: bit watching my mom, a little bit playing around. I
Speaker 1: don't know, you just start see that's you know, It's
Speaker 1: like when you when people are able to pick up
Speaker 1: a guitar and just play, you know, those infuriating people
Speaker 1: are those people music I'm saying, but with makeup, like
Speaker 1: some people can just be like m I'm gonna just
Speaker 1: play around and they do something incredible to their face
Speaker 1: while like a raccoon. Every time I do it, I
Speaker 1: will say the cutest thing I've ever seen is a
Speaker 1: few years ago. I was home my brother and sister
Speaker 1: in law is UM, just over the holidays, and they
Speaker 1: have daughters who had friends over. So there were probably
Speaker 1: like six girls there that were like under the age
Speaker 1: of seven, and I like went into the other room
Speaker 1: to get ready for dinner and I sat in front
Speaker 1: of like I think I asked to use one of
Speaker 1: my niece's mirrors, So I sat in front of her
Speaker 1: mirror and I was like, I'm just going to do
Speaker 1: my makeup, and these little tiny's all gathered around me
Speaker 1: and just watched me do my makeup like they were
Speaker 1: watching TV. And I was right, like a little and
Speaker 1: there's makeup involved. They were just like they just want
Speaker 1: to transfix. Yes, very cute. I remember being enamored with
Speaker 1: it too. Maybe it's like a thing because I remember
Speaker 1: watching my mom like that was actually a part of UM.
Speaker 1: I think it was other people, like just him sitting
Speaker 1: in the room while his mother did the makeup Like
Speaker 1: that really struck me, like just remembering what it was
Speaker 1: to be like like younger and like your mom doing
Speaker 1: her makeup and are doing her hair. My mom had
Speaker 1: a salon in our house, like a little hair sung
Speaker 1: because she worked out of the house, so it's like
Speaker 1: truly a room for my hair, a little gay boy's dream.
Speaker 1: But I would watch her hair all the time, in
Speaker 1: her makeup all the time. It's it's a thing. It
Speaker 1: is like it's like theater. Did you ever reach in
Speaker 1: either of the face duter of the face? Did you
Speaker 1: ever reach into title that? Did you ever reach into
Speaker 1: your mom's makeup stuff? I would I never the makeup
Speaker 1: stuffed out. I've blacked out moments where I and like
Speaker 1: it's slowly coming back to me now truly as we're
Speaker 1: talking about this is I would like reach under like
Speaker 1: the sink in my mom's bathroom and just like grab
Speaker 1: her makeup kit and like put it on. And I think, like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I try not to take too much
Speaker 1: so that she would notice, but I would like put
Speaker 1: lipstick on and like put like eyeshadow on, and it
Speaker 1: was well, she probably knows how much. She definitely knows.
Speaker 1: Like for her, it's like this. For her, I think
Speaker 1: it was like this chilling thing. But for me it
Speaker 1: was like but also like fun, I don't know, Yeah, cute, cute.
Speaker 1: I would do so on Sunday and you know my
Speaker 1: mom and we're talking about, you know, such a presence
Speaker 1: of a woman. Um, on Sundays, I would just ask,
Speaker 1: can I go into your room? And so she would
Speaker 1: let me have the entire day in her room. And
Speaker 1: she used to have like, you know, like those old
Speaker 1: hat boxes, those beautiful ones. So she had like six
Speaker 1: of those stacked up that all had old beautiful hats
Speaker 1: with like the the lace like you know, in feathers.
Speaker 1: She had her whole top drawer was costume jewelry of
Speaker 1: my grandma's and then she used to wear like the
Speaker 1: mini velvet dresses with Ryan stones and billerro jackets and
Speaker 1: she had those like lingerie heels with the Ostrich feathers.
Speaker 1: So Sunday's just hours dress up with that stuff. I
Speaker 1: was going to ask if you were like a dress
Speaker 1: up kid, yeah, but with adult mother clothing. Yeah, I mean, honestly,
Speaker 1: that's some of the best costumes you can ever find. Like,
Speaker 1: I've never experienced any garment like my mother had this,
Speaker 1: Like um, I wore in this web speri as that
Speaker 1: did it called Broadway Aunts where we played like these
Speaker 1: aunts from Long Island who loved Broadway, who didn't have kids,
Speaker 1: but they loved theater. So my mom had this like
Speaker 1: truly like head to tell pants suit that was leopard print,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, where did you wear this? But it
Speaker 1: was truly like Florida ceiling, like leopard, leopard, leopard. And
Speaker 1: then she had a lot of cheetah and leopard stuff,
Speaker 1: which is like, that's huge, that's costume. Yes, I mean
Speaker 1: the thing is like, I just I wish there were
Speaker 1: more wigs around the house because I used to take
Speaker 1: the towels from I used to take a towel and
Speaker 1: put it in my back of my shirt and I
Speaker 1: would pretend it was hair. Oh this is like we
Speaker 1: were literally talking on the way over here, like bone
Speaker 1: read a study about how being gay is not necessarily genetic,
Speaker 1: like there are environmental factors. So the fact there were
Speaker 1: a lot of towels around, of course I was going
Speaker 1: to think they could be my hair, so I put it.
Speaker 1: I would put this the hair in my back. I
Speaker 1: would say my name was Tina, and I would run
Speaker 1: around the yard because I saw a contestant on Legends
Speaker 1: of the Hidden Temple named Tina and I thought she
Speaker 1: was my icon. So then I was Tina and I
Speaker 1: would run around and my mom would be like, he's
Speaker 1: pretended to be a superhero. He deended to be Superman
Speaker 1: to like everyone, They're like, what's he doing? And they
Speaker 1: were like, oh, he's a superhero. Run up and I'd
Speaker 1: be like, I'm Tina, superhero and Tina. And then my
Speaker 1: mom said she asked like this is so early nineties,
Speaker 1: but like she asked the doctor, like what what this
Speaker 1: could be? And the doctor was like, it means he's
Speaker 1: very smart. It means he's willing to take on different
Speaker 1: i alter egos and identities. It means he's curious about
Speaker 1: the world. And she's like, okay, cool. They're like, yeah, wow,
Speaker 1: I'm Tina. Tina. I went the other way where I
Speaker 1: would put on a hat and this is this is
Speaker 1: a little too hetero. Even I would put on a
Speaker 1: hat and be like I'm the dark Lord the Dark
Speaker 1: Sundays at Chinese people. No, no, no, But it was
Speaker 1: it was like me like making sure the other the
Speaker 1: younger kids were having fun, and I would like I
Speaker 1: was the dark Lord and these and these kids were
Speaker 1: like worries you had to kill me and I know,
Speaker 1: but it was so funny. I was still your own design.
Speaker 1: This is of my owners. I would I would like
Speaker 1: large with these kids when I was like ten years
Speaker 1: old with these like five year olds for at the
Speaker 1: Chinese school. I was ten, and they would have to
Speaker 1: chase me and like kill me like their mystical swords.
Speaker 1: Did they kill you every time? Yes? And they were
Speaker 1: like and they loved it. You have to go see
Speaker 1: when you are the dark Lord telling them you have
Speaker 1: to kill me and allowing them to kill you every
Speaker 1: time is very Meanwhile, I am Tina. You are Tina. Wow,
Speaker 1: Tina and the dark Lord Tina and the dark Lighty.
Speaker 1: If you could, if you can think of a childhood
Speaker 1: alter ego you had, who would that be? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: a childhood alter ego. You know. I had this gymnastics
Speaker 1: teacher and her name was Jennifer and so I was
Speaker 1: probably nine and she was twenty and then bleach blonde,
Speaker 1: natural blonde, I want to say bleach. She didn't have
Speaker 1: to die and she came that way. The highest ponytail
Speaker 1: in the world was still wearing it to the side
Speaker 1: leotard's jean jackets, and she freaking Jennifer twenty year old
Speaker 1: gymnastic teacher, total dream girl babe came to my fourth
Speaker 1: grade birthday party. And now and now, imagine that you
Speaker 1: were a twenty year old girl going to a first
Speaker 1: grader's birthday party. It's like you think in your life, like, wow,
Speaker 1: that was so amazing. When Jennifer came, she was a
Speaker 1: twenty year o algod. She had a high pony and
Speaker 1: she came to my birthday at fourth grade. And then
Speaker 1: you're like, what, I think there's enough eleven? Is enough
Speaker 1: of an age difference there? Or ten? Like is enough
Speaker 1: of an age difference where we're it's weird. It's weird
Speaker 1: if it's a twenty year old showing up to a
Speaker 1: fourteen year olds party. I disagree. I can see them
Speaker 1: being friends. Maybe they were friends, like maybe they were
Speaker 1: on the same like, Jennifer, where are you if you're listening?
Speaker 1: She just knew it would mean a lot to me,
Speaker 1: and that is did and you remembered it to this
Speaker 1: day or hear and my dad at something I don't
Speaker 1: know now, that's the first time that ever hit me.
Speaker 1: But oh my god, she was Okay. We got Tina
Speaker 1: the Dark Lord and Jennifer Jennifer could be one of
Speaker 1: your characters. The twenty year old who was at the
Speaker 1: fourth fourth grade as birthday party one of your characters.
Speaker 1: One of your characters that could be. I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm literally like like that old aunt. That's like that
Speaker 1: should be when you're act you should do that one.
Speaker 1: That's a sketch. Good, that's a sketch. I can't believe. Well,
Speaker 1: not the birth of but I saw it before everyone else.
Speaker 1: Your characters you have made iconic on the SNL Bailey,
Speaker 1: such as No the Boxer's girlfriends. Oh my god, I
Speaker 1: did I said that before everyone else. I said, this
Speaker 1: is a damn good character. Was that based on Amy Adams?
Speaker 1: It was based on all of them, Rachel McAdams and Southpaw,
Speaker 1: Amy Adams, You forget about Rachel McAdams and South Paw. Yeah,
Speaker 1: which was almost better dialogue than Amy Adams And really,
Speaker 1: what what is what? She literally is like that? Mackenzie? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that Rachel McAdams is the one that like
Speaker 1: flat out says like I'm the fighter, like I find
Speaker 1: a family or something like. That was the thing that
Speaker 1: first game watching the Previo that gave me the like,
Speaker 1: wait a second, that sounds a lot like Adam. No,
Speaker 1: it is such a it's a good observation. And but
Speaker 1: I will say, doesn't it Rachel McAdams get it in
Speaker 1: that movie? I believe she gets spoiler alert gunned down.
Speaker 1: Oh no, that's like a crazy part of the movie.
Speaker 1: In the beginning, it's like something like something like someone
Speaker 1: that doesn't like Jack Jelan Hall shows up and there's
Speaker 1: like a there's gunfire and Rachel McAdams like unfortunately passes
Speaker 1: away and it's brutal. You don't kill off Rachel McAdams.
Speaker 1: You can't. Well that's exactly why you do, because people
Speaker 1: say you can't. And then when then that's the secret.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like remember in Dark Night when Maggie
Speaker 1: Jillan Hall blew up. I can't believe that. I would
Speaker 1: never believe, never would have guessed like that one I
Speaker 1: could see. Really, yeah, I don't think we loved her. Well, no,
Speaker 1: I don't think anyone loved Rachel Dawes which character the name, character,
Speaker 1: character's name. But it was just shocking to me that
Speaker 1: I had never seen a movie like that. Like I
Speaker 1: remember I was watching with my best friend from high school, Loureen,
Speaker 1: and I turned to her in shock, and she said
Speaker 1: to me, I just gained so much respect for this movie.
Speaker 1: They allowed Maggie to blow up because I think, like, honestly, honestly,
Speaker 1: I think that watching No, I kind of get what
Speaker 1: she was saying. I agreed. I was like, yeah, because
Speaker 1: the thing is like, you would never kill off this
Speaker 1: character because it's too like a subversion. It's a subversion
Speaker 1: that we hadn't seen before. And she was like, Wow,
Speaker 1: Now I truly believe that anything could happened because they
Speaker 1: did that, because no superhero movie is like, you know,
Speaker 1: spider Man wasn't gonna kill Curston dunst right, which is
Speaker 1: probably why they didn't go with Gwen Stacy. They had
Speaker 1: she played Mary Jane because Gwen Stacy famously dies in
Speaker 1: the comic books? Are you a comic book, Queen? I'm not,
Speaker 1: um my husband zeb he writes for Marvel, So he's
Speaker 1: a comic book. That is he's a Componqueen. That is
Speaker 1: such a cool fucking job. It is a cool job. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: he wrote for them like ten years ago, then like
Speaker 1: took a break and now he's writing there again, and
Speaker 1: you can tell he's um, he's excited. I literally now
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about like with all the Marvels. It feels
Speaker 1: like Marvel is still everywhere, and I'm kind of like
Speaker 1: now I feel like we're at this point where it's like,
Speaker 1: are you gonna submit and actually like know what everything
Speaker 1: is or are you going to be like, I can't
Speaker 1: do this. It's so much stuff. I mean, it's all
Speaker 1: it's very excessive. Like you literally could just like download
Speaker 1: the app on your phone and buy like old issues
Speaker 1: and volumes and like read through like Ultimate Avengers and
Speaker 1: be like I know everything about what are the Eternals.
Speaker 1: The Eternals are a race of being aliens, right for
Speaker 1: aliens who are like supposed to find I don't know,
Speaker 1: so you know this is like the new Avengers is
Speaker 1: the Eternals. And Angelian and Julie isn't it blonde? Oh?
Speaker 1: Speaking of wigs, we've seen we've seen like a still
Speaker 1: and she is blonde. And I believe it's the first
Speaker 1: time that angel and Julie has been blonde since life
Speaker 1: or something like it. WHOA remember that movie was that
Speaker 1: after that was after Go Interrupted? It was like right
Speaker 1: around that time, but they were like she was it
Speaker 1: was like sort of like a romantic comedy, I guess.
Speaker 1: And she had blonde hair, and I think she played
Speaker 1: like someone who who thought she was going to die
Speaker 1: in twenty four hours or something and then doesn't someone
Speaker 1: checked this fact like fact checked this and wrote it.
Speaker 1: And do you read that? What she blonde and gone
Speaker 1: in sixty seconds to she was blonde with dreads? Wow?
Speaker 1: But I don't know did that come? It had to
Speaker 1: be after John in sixty Seconds feels like a movie
Speaker 1: that you're like, yeah, I want an Oscar? What do
Speaker 1: I say? I guess, Like you know that period of
Speaker 1: time after you win an Oscar, we all know where
Speaker 1: it's just like what you're gonna do now? Huh? And
Speaker 1: it's like halle Berry is kind of not really like
Speaker 1: popped off in the way like some people have an
Speaker 1: after Oscar's curse. This is what Hollywood says where it takes.
Speaker 1: It's a few year period of like weirdness before you
Speaker 1: figure out like where you fit in still like you
Speaker 1: win the Oscar and you think, oh wow, every opportunity
Speaker 1: is mine. The thing about having every opportunity is you
Speaker 1: can choose the wrong one, or you can say too
Speaker 1: many times exactly because you're looking for the next thing.
Speaker 1: And then also you could just look at it like,
Speaker 1: oh wait, that was the opportunity, like that was it
Speaker 1: and you and you did it and quit. Quit. I
Speaker 1: wonder quit. I wonder what it feels like the day
Speaker 1: after you win an Oscar, because there's like those months
Speaker 1: of lead up where they do all the press and
Speaker 1: like you know you're gonna be up for it, and
Speaker 1: then you win. That moment has to feel like euphoric,
Speaker 1: and then the next day is like what it's probably
Speaker 1: just like a come doown of like a drug or something,
Speaker 1: just like like I don't know, you're just kind of
Speaker 1: a white slate for like two days or something. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I think I'd be happy every day if
Speaker 1: I want an Oscar, I'd just be like, well I
Speaker 1: wanted that's the that's the thing. You think it's going
Speaker 1: to make you happy. But that's the whole secret of
Speaker 1: Hollywood that nothing does. Nothing makes you happy, you know,
Speaker 1: they said in Wicked, because getting your dream it's strange,
Speaker 1: but it seems a little well complicated, and no true
Speaker 1: words have ever been so actually no, And you cut
Speaker 1: off too quick because the next lyrics are there's a
Speaker 1: kind of a sort of cost there's a couple of
Speaker 1: things get lost. They're are Bridge and you girls, you
Speaker 1: didn't know you Cross? Tell you Cross? Are you familiar
Speaker 1: with Wicked? I am? I fully thought at the end
Speaker 1: of the first act the show was over, and when
Speaker 1: I was told there was going to be another act, thought,
Speaker 1: defying gravity is as it is as big as it cats.
Speaker 1: That is so coming from out of town to see
Speaker 1: a Broadway show like, oh that was great and they say, well,
Speaker 1: Act two is just going to begin in ten minutes,
Speaker 1: and You're like, what come on? We went we were
Speaker 1: in we were in Fire Island and um we we
Speaker 1: went off on this riffle school. I was there and
Speaker 1: he was like, we were talking about how Countess Luanna
Speaker 1: is going to do Chicago on Broadway. So this is
Speaker 1: like happening and the thing is like we were like,
Speaker 1: like what who is she drawing in? Like are people
Speaker 1: from out of town coming into sea Countess Luanna? And
Speaker 1: I thought maybe? But then I thought about like those
Speaker 1: dads that like come to see like, um, like you
Speaker 1: need like authentic New York things, and they like they
Speaker 1: would want to come to like New York, Like I
Speaker 1: don't want to see Countess Luanna. I want to see
Speaker 1: a New York character actress up there. I want to
Speaker 1: see a union woman up there acting her hard out.
Speaker 1: I've come to New York for the good New York pizza,
Speaker 1: to see New York character actors just really stop the boards,
Speaker 1: get up there and work hard for it decade they're
Speaker 1: harder and equity cards. I want to see them raise
Speaker 1: them high. Suburban Dad saying, yeah, just like you got
Speaker 1: to go to New York for the for the unknown actors.
Speaker 1: So I mean Countess land Like works. I think in
Speaker 1: that what I'm saying like like she's like a celebrity,
Speaker 1: She's not like she's the draw for some person, like
Speaker 1: some type of like you know, people from the from
Speaker 1: the bourbs who are coming in to see Countess and
Speaker 1: she stands for she stands for like some really like
Speaker 1: rarefied thing in New York where it's great. We get
Speaker 1: to breathe the same error as her, for like yes
Speaker 1: a night Yeah, And while we're breathing in the same
Speaker 1: arras shiety. You have to ask the question, Heidi, what
Speaker 1: was the culture that made you say culture is for me?
Speaker 1: Is the formative culture that made you want to move
Speaker 1: into a cultural direction? I think I mean I was
Speaker 1: such a little pop culture little geek that um or
Speaker 1: a comedy little nerd thing that I think I would
Speaker 1: say it was like a miss smash of um waiting
Speaker 1: for Guffman and Jack Black Black hand in hand together.
Speaker 1: I think Jack Black is culture. It really is. And he,
Speaker 1: I have to say, is being copied by someone. Do
Speaker 1: you know who? I'm gonna say, I love him, But
Speaker 1: Adam Divine is doing a little bit, a little bit,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, more sanitized. And that's not
Speaker 1: to say like no, it's worse or better. No, it's
Speaker 1: just saying he's obviously an admirer of Jack pleas I
Speaker 1: will say yes when when Adam Divine like the first Workaholics,
Speaker 1: I was like the way he was delivering lines was
Speaker 1: like it was killing me in the way that like
Speaker 1: same like the flare that they put on the end
Speaker 1: of wine, kind of like I don't even know how
Speaker 1: to do it, but it's like it is like it's
Speaker 1: like a specific pattern that's like and this is not
Speaker 1: a shade to Adam Divine, but like you can tell
Speaker 1: he was like Jack Black was like a thing friend um.
Speaker 1: But like School of Rock is my I think one
Speaker 1: of my favorite movies of all pod Oh yeah, oh,
Speaker 1: I mean I was like a little I was Tenacious
Speaker 1: D like GROUPY. I used to like travel two shows
Speaker 1: to see Tenacious I loved them so much. O, my god,
Speaker 1: they were pretty amazing. They were I I liked they
Speaker 1: even like broke through to me. I like try to
Speaker 1: put up every shield and be like, no, this is
Speaker 1: not for me when I was like a teenager and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, but this is actually very good.
Speaker 1: They are very good. I'm hilarious and incredible songwriting singing. Yes,
Speaker 1: it really was great. And also just like Tribute is
Speaker 1: like a ride, there's nothing like Tribute and wonder if
Speaker 1: you listen to that again, it's like epic. It's like,
Speaker 1: so they had movies to write, like Take of Destiny
Speaker 1: or whatever. Right, Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen
Speaker 1: any of me neither, But didn't they have like a
Speaker 1: moment like a few years ago where they were like
Speaker 1: they were back or they back now, they are back, now,
Speaker 1: they're touring now. They were just in my hometown, Kansas
Speaker 1: City on my birthday, but I couldn't go to it.
Speaker 1: I so just being a super fan back at that time.
Speaker 1: Of course I met him, um like like a concert, yeah,
Speaker 1: but you know and like could barely formed, Like so
Speaker 1: everything you do is funny. He's amazing now And also
Speaker 1: that's like this is like sometimes I think we were
Speaker 1: just talking about oscars, Like I always think like you
Speaker 1: should nominate people for performances that no else could give.
Speaker 1: Is something that no one no one, like it's like
Speaker 1: on the same level. Is like um just like say
Speaker 1: like Jim Carrey, like a spe no one else could
Speaker 1: be that like vulnerable like and also that funny. Like
Speaker 1: it's just like that should get the Ultimate Ultimate Awards,
Speaker 1: just for for the kind of iconography that is, like
Speaker 1: that scene where he is where they're like, well, what
Speaker 1: would your song be? Like they're learning their regular there's
Speaker 1: something they're going to do, and he's like saying, and
Speaker 1: he is that. There's that long segment where he's like
Speaker 1: pitching them his song and then this would come in,
Speaker 1: then this would come in, and one shot. It's so
Speaker 1: good and to act with kids that whole time and
Speaker 1: like be on the same level and like he's the
Speaker 1: audience but also they are and he's the funny thing,
Speaker 1: but the kids are also funny. It's just such a
Speaker 1: good movie. Yeah, I think about that movie constantly. It
Speaker 1: was obsessed when it came out, and like saying Teacher's
Speaker 1: Pet all the time. I still like Hummed, like it's
Speaker 1: still oh yeah, clams it in and he's just like hummed,
Speaker 1: and I'm just like, what a great song, Like yeah,
Speaker 1: great great movie. It's like it's I think it's even
Speaker 1: better than like sound of music in that way, like that,
Speaker 1: don't it tells, like in terms of the story it tells.
Speaker 1: It's like I mean, I do too, for sure. It's
Speaker 1: at rock is better than sound. It's like it's it's
Speaker 1: the same like archetypes that are happening. It's like he's
Speaker 1: cast out of this group to go like work this
Speaker 1: thing that he doesn't he thinks he's going to be
Speaker 1: bad and not rewarding. He meets these kids, he like
Speaker 1: finds inspiration in them, like makes you think that La
Speaker 1: la la la is better than he. I just think
Speaker 1: now a sound of music is like all time classic,
Speaker 1: but like still so school raw school rock is Miranda Cosgrown.
Speaker 1: She played the bassist and she just did our show
Speaker 1: in Chicago. It's the coolest the Chicago community. And also
Speaker 1: my friend Zac and Fante was like the manager. Okay,
Speaker 1: the little one that's like the harmonies and the lights
Speaker 1: and then and then he's like, you gotta relax. That
Speaker 1: kid I did shows with him in college and he
Speaker 1: was a friend of mine. There is I do think
Speaker 1: about the kid who played just gay voice all the time.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, yeah, what's his deal? But I just
Speaker 1: like I hope he's I think he's doing great, and
Speaker 1: I think he's like working, he's like in the biz.
Speaker 1: But it's like I hope he like is so I
Speaker 1: think he must be so well adjusted to have like
Speaker 1: been willing to play that role and played so we
Speaker 1: but to have like it was a time and like
Speaker 1: I remember like singing in the theater with my friends
Speaker 1: and like having like all the kids like you laugh
Speaker 1: at that, And I was like are we laughing for him?
Speaker 1: And I think, like you have to be so well
Speaker 1: adjusted to have made it through that and and like
Speaker 1: understood that that's what was happening. Like he like whatever,
Speaker 1: he like took one for the team. I think that movie.
Speaker 1: That movie also has iconic Joan Cusack Yes, yeah wrote
Speaker 1: it right, Yeah, he wrote it. Who then he was
Speaker 1: like he's the most interesting person. Didn't know Gay gay
Speaker 1: and then fucking Survivor and then screenwriter enlightened. Enlightened. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's amazing. We were just Zeb and I were on
Speaker 1: a whale watching tour in in Provincetown, and um Zeb
Speaker 1: was like nudged me and was like, Hey, there's a
Speaker 1: guy over there that's a celebrity kind of checking out.
Speaker 1: And I was never done that celebrity wise, and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, this big celebrity on this
Speaker 1: way we watch, you know, And I looked over and
Speaker 1: I was like, that's not a celebrity. That man looks
Speaker 1: kind of like Mike Wife. That's what you're thinking, isn't it.
Speaker 1: And he was like, when you had been around celebrities already, yes,
Speaker 1: this almost two weeks ago a celebrity. They're like, he's
Speaker 1: like breathing the same are as robertson here all like
Speaker 1: six weeks of the year. It's like a big it's
Speaker 1: a big, big celebrity. Celebrities like I kind of looks
Speaker 1: like Mike White. I just have to say, because we're
Speaker 1: talking about Jack Black and um Mike White. Have you
Speaker 1: guys seen the movie The D Train? Is that also
Speaker 1: James Marston? Yes? Yeah, okay, yeah, So funny, so funny
Speaker 1: and like under the radar, but just like and it's
Speaker 1: like classic Jack Black. It's like the Jack Black that
Speaker 1: like popped on the scene. So he did you like
Speaker 1: Tropic Thunder? Yeah, it's it's weird when you watch it
Speaker 1: now because the Robert down your stuff is like does
Speaker 1: this hold up? We don't know. I think they were
Speaker 1: making a comment on it, but I mean whatever, I
Speaker 1: haven't watched in a while, but Jack Black like underrated
Speaker 1: good part of that movie. Yes, and I actually respect
Speaker 1: that movie. It was like pretty epic. I didn't see
Speaker 1: I haven't seen you Dumanji, and I hear he's great,
Speaker 1: and now he's so good. Oh my god, I forgot
Speaker 1: he was in that right right, and he's he's playing
Speaker 1: like like he's playing the main kid. Um one of
Speaker 1: like I forget exactly what goes down, but one of
Speaker 1: them turns into him and they're like, fuck, yeah, you
Speaker 1: know what. It's the hot girl. Hot girl, the hot
Speaker 1: girl in the movie, like in the in real life,
Speaker 1: gets it sucked in the game machine becomes Jack so good.
Speaker 1: That's a really fun turn. Yes he is, and I
Speaker 1: feel like he that couples nicely with Waiting for Goffman
Speaker 1: or with Christopher guests stuff too, and like waiting for Goffman.
Speaker 1: So good. You've seen it. You haven't seen it. I
Speaker 1: haven't see It's it's annoying, but like I haven't seen it,
Speaker 1: but I know Parker Posey, I get iconic Parker Posey,
Speaker 1: Iconic Katherine Yeah, iconic Kevin o'harrett, yeah, iconic EU gene
Speaker 1: love like everyone's second, everyone, every line everything. One of
Speaker 1: my favorite lines from that movie is in the very
Speaker 1: beginning where it's the city councilwoman who's the descendant of
Speaker 1: Lane Fab and she's like, you know, it's hard being
Speaker 1: a descendant of Lane Fab and I certainly understand how
Speaker 1: the Kennedy's feel. And I'm like, that's such true. It's
Speaker 1: such funny and like, god, I I don't know I
Speaker 1: missed that, Like that was a yeah. That was like
Speaker 1: that was the first piece of like whatever like Prestigi
Speaker 1: comment not prestigiy, but it was like someone like bought
Speaker 1: it for me, my friend Dylan, Um, my friend Dylan
Speaker 1: fucking bought it for me for Christmas one year and
Speaker 1: she was like, here, you'll love this, you should you
Speaker 1: should watch this movie. And I was like a freshman
Speaker 1: in high school. I never seen it and like, my
Speaker 1: all I was watching. All I was consuming comedy wise
Speaker 1: was like the Simpsons and S n L and like
Speaker 1: Seinfeld and that was that. But this is like the
Speaker 1: first piece of like this is so specific and I
Speaker 1: think you would like it that I took it in
Speaker 1: and I was like wow, yes, and I was obsessed.
Speaker 1: What good? You know what My favorite line is when
Speaker 1: he needs more money for the show. So it goes
Speaker 1: to like the city council and he asked for a
Speaker 1: hundred thousand dollars and they're like, they're so taken aback androun.
Speaker 1: I like, quirky. I mean budget for the entire town
Speaker 1: for the whole year is that includes the pool And
Speaker 1: he goes, well, there's no swimming in my show. And
Speaker 1: then what do you say? And then what do you see?
Speaker 1: Like I like, I feel so what does he says?
Speaker 1: He's so upset about to cry and then he said,
Speaker 1: I'm going to go home and bite my pillow. Space Space.
Speaker 1: I was just today, I was like thinking about Parker
Speaker 1: Posey's line reading of UM. I was reading about New York.
Speaker 1: It's just an island. It's just an island. Um, I
Speaker 1: think I think it might still be my favorite Christopher Guest.
Speaker 1: Is it yours or is it the first one you saw? No,
Speaker 1: I saw a spinal tap like very young, loved it.
Speaker 1: Waiting for Guffman's my favorite. But I will say that recently,
Speaker 1: I I've watched Best in Show like just a few times.
Speaker 1: I've seen it back then and loved it. Um, Michael
Speaker 1: McKean and who's the other actor that plays his partner
Speaker 1: got three names? Like yes, I know, they're amazing. So
Speaker 1: that is my favorite on screen couple of They love
Speaker 1: each other so much and are also so funny, and
Speaker 1: they love their dogs so much. I literally say that
Speaker 1: every time someone is not someone else is paying whatever
Speaker 1: we do, I've done and literally no one ever catches it.
Speaker 1: But it's my favorite reference when he had he's packing
Speaker 1: seven kimonos the day and they're going to be gone,
Speaker 1: and he called him out like we're going to be
Speaker 1: gone just a day and a half, and then he
Speaker 1: goes and gets like another two kimonos. Oh, I love
Speaker 1: them just like yeah, truly like that movie I think
Speaker 1: is my favorite Christopher Guests without having seen God you Um,
Speaker 1: but it just for me, it's like the relationships are
Speaker 1: all so strong. Like that's what I love about that movie.
Speaker 1: Like even like which is hard to be Jane Lynch like,
Speaker 1: it's hard because it's a lot of couples. It's just couples.
Speaker 1: And of course Catherine O'Hara and um, Eugene Levy are
Speaker 1: like iconic. And especially when she she's like when they're
Speaker 1: they're getting their credit card returning, like, I'm sorry, the
Speaker 1: card isn't and she goes, no, that's a good that's
Speaker 1: a good Card's that was that should be that's a
Speaker 1: good one. To two queer couples in that movie. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well they get together. But it's like, also gotta love
Speaker 1: Jane Lynch in that movie where she's like, you know, um,
Speaker 1: it's it's not a typical to have a female you know,
Speaker 1: had a household. You know, that's the way it was
Speaker 1: from my family. Mom went out and made you know,
Speaker 1: got made the bread, and dad just stayed at home.
Speaker 1: And it worked for my family. So my mom killed
Speaker 1: herself crazy also and just Jennifer Cool is sitting there
Speaker 1: the whole time like iconic is her first scene when
Speaker 1: she's talking about what she has in common with her
Speaker 1: husband was like bed written and old, and she goes,
Speaker 1: we both love soup, like you think that that like
Speaker 1: because I've heard that so many times in my life.
Speaker 1: You'd be over it and then seeing it again, I'm
Speaker 1: like you genius woman, super snow peas and talking and
Speaker 1: not talking. We could talk or not talk forever and
Speaker 1: still find things to not talk about. It's like so good.
Speaker 1: She just put together the best lines ever. Also, park
Speaker 1: posing in that movie is they're monsters, those two, but
Speaker 1: their racist. When she goes, when when he's telling the story,
Speaker 1: I was at one Star Wars and she was at
Speaker 1: the other because to her and she just goes so good,
Speaker 1: so good, and they said there are things in common.
Speaker 1: We're like, well, we love cattle. Like sometimes I'll just say, honey,
Speaker 1: what's new to flip through and see what's new. And
Speaker 1: then and he's I think this is just so like
Speaker 1: he does such a good job of being an asshole,
Speaker 1: like when his dog barked at someone else and told
Speaker 1: him I will sue your ass so quick, or like
Speaker 1: or I'll see you so fast on your head. Yeah god,
Speaker 1: oh man. Now there is so much in that that
Speaker 1: That movie is gold through and through many wind is
Speaker 1: very sweet Mighty Wind is like there's not as much
Speaker 1: like it's not as pot it doesn't pop as much.
Speaker 1: I think Best in Show is like the most, like
Speaker 1: it's the most jokes per minute, and Mighty Wind was
Speaker 1: trying to do something different. I think it was like
Speaker 1: so sweet. Remember what they performed at the Oscars? Yeah? Um,
Speaker 1: and then have you seen for your consideration? Okay, for
Speaker 1: your consideration. It is kind of like it it's still
Speaker 1: worth watching. I'd say it's kind of known as like
Speaker 1: the misstep of all those because that actually was the
Speaker 1: one I wasn't comment that's like not it's not mockumentary.
Speaker 1: Well I think it is mockumentary, but it's or maybe
Speaker 1: it's not. There's something different about it's like not fully improvised,
Speaker 1: like it's more scripted than the other ones. The I
Speaker 1: think that I think it might be still be kind
Speaker 1: of loose and improvised, but there's not there's no one
Speaker 1: talking to camera, there's no one being like, well we're
Speaker 1: getting ready for you know, court season. It's it's truly
Speaker 1: just like the first scene is Katherine Han's character Marilyn
Speaker 1: Hack driving into the lot and like the there's like
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, sorry, I said, Katherine Han Sorry, Katherine Harra
Speaker 1: also another amazingly talented Yes, everyone is so talented these
Speaker 1: Katherine's um but yeah, that's like the only non mocumentary one.
Speaker 1: But then Jennifer Coolidge is Jennifer Coolidge invest in show No,
Speaker 1: in a Mighty Wind and in for your consideration, so
Speaker 1: criminally under yours. She probably wasn't available for the whole shoots,
Speaker 1: but like she plays one of the producers, right, She's
Speaker 1: the producer. Looks like the family has been baked into
Speaker 1: the cookies and I want to see that. She just
Speaker 1: it's just and I want to and I want to
Speaker 1: see and I want to sit and she's the whole
Speaker 1: part where she's like, you know, the top of a
Speaker 1: producer is U you just think I forget what the
Speaker 1: line is. But it's just her delirious in all those scenes. Sandra, Sandra,
Speaker 1: I'm very aware that Sandro isn't isn't that movie. It's
Speaker 1: just it's it's I think it's like I need to
Speaker 1: I need to revisit it because it's like it gets
Speaker 1: shipped on all the time or maybe not sure that
Speaker 1: it is regarded as like the misstep. Yeah, but you
Speaker 1: also mentioned before Jim Carrey was he also huge for
Speaker 1: you me too, you know, like aison and turn Damon
Speaker 1: Damer for sure. But then when he went when he
Speaker 1: joined forces with Ben still around the Cable Guy and
Speaker 1: it was just that extra level of weird. It was
Speaker 1: just like, yeah, oh I loved it. And people didn't
Speaker 1: really like The Cable Guy because I think it challenged them,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, because that movie is I
Speaker 1: think about something that that like is that we're not
Speaker 1: like didn't really talk about, but like that was that.
Speaker 1: I think it was meant to be like a like
Speaker 1: a sort of like deeper, weirder kind of deconstruction of
Speaker 1: that kind of like obsessive person. To me, one of
Speaker 1: the best performances ever is Liar, Liar, I'm gonna how
Speaker 1: diff gold that is? No one, no one else in
Speaker 1: the world is capable of that. And still like I
Speaker 1: just can't. I still have such a like special place
Speaker 1: at my heart for Jim Carrey even right now. I'm
Speaker 1: like such a fan of his Instagram and all this
Speaker 1: like inspirational. Yeah, it's definitely taking a turn, but it's like,
Speaker 1: but how could you not take a turn after your
Speaker 1: life like that? It's a lot going on, but the
Speaker 1: thing is like liar liar, like think that. Of course
Speaker 1: all the physical comedy like and the nailing of every joke.
Speaker 1: But then there's that moment where he's like, I'm a
Speaker 1: bad father and he was hears himself say it, and
Speaker 1: then he was able to say it, and he's like,
Speaker 1: I'm a bad father. And Maura Tierney who is Maura Maura.
Speaker 1: It's really culture number icon Maura. She's in a tune.
Speaker 1: She was like, you're not a bad father and he's like,
Speaker 1: I am, I am and she doesn't get it. Like
Speaker 1: that scene is so good, and then just like the
Speaker 1: whole thing, like oh man, that like he is and
Speaker 1: then his dramatic work to like you've seen the Truman Show.
Speaker 1: That movie is really crazy. It's crazy. I actually I
Speaker 1: only saw it recently for the first time, and it's
Speaker 1: like it's it's it's really ahead of its time. I
Speaker 1: don't think he would make that now, or maybe they would,
Speaker 1: but it just would be like it would be very different,
Speaker 1: like it was the perfect sort of premise for a
Speaker 1: movie that for a movie that came out at that time,
Speaker 1: and then it turned like an eternal time time. We
Speaker 1: were just talking about in the car they you know,
Speaker 1: I was just watching the movie Elma and Louise on
Speaker 1: the plane. Have you seen Thelma and Louise? One of
Speaker 1: my havent movies of all time? But like the way
Speaker 1: that movies used to like take their time setting up
Speaker 1: character and like really kind of seep in worlds, like
Speaker 1: you don't see that anymore, Like even my best friend's wedding, Dave.
Speaker 1: Dave had never seen my best friend's wedding, like and
Speaker 1: we I was like, we have to watch it now,
Speaker 1: Like we dropped everything and watched it that night. But
Speaker 1: like the amount of time, like it takes to get
Speaker 1: to know Julia Robertson. It takes her like a little
Speaker 1: while to get to the actual wedding and then you
Speaker 1: meet Cameron Diaz or whatever. Romantic but is now if
Speaker 1: they ever make them, it's like first scene like over
Speaker 1: a city's gape. Hey, my name is Miranda and I
Speaker 1: work in a magazine and we're already in it. It's
Speaker 1: like crazy rich Asians. That first scene when it's like
Speaker 1: the text goes around the world. It's like it's just
Speaker 1: thrust into the world so quickly, and it's like you
Speaker 1: miss when movies didn't feel like they had to be
Speaker 1: like eighty five minutes, you know, like, isn't it romantic?
Speaker 1: I loved, but like it's so fast, literally minutes, and
Speaker 1: they cut so much out of it you could tell,
Speaker 1: and we've had confirmed that. It's like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I just missed when movies like We're Feature felt it
Speaker 1: felt like when you get thrown into it, you don't
Speaker 1: know what to care about just instantly, it's just like
Speaker 1: just spewed, and it's so nice to sit in and decide, Oh,
Speaker 1: I like this for I'm starting to fall in love
Speaker 1: with this. Yes, I think that's why. Oftentimes now you
Speaker 1: see like a lot of lead characters that feel the
Speaker 1: most nondescript. Yeah, I would say that about crazy rich Asians. Actually,
Speaker 1: I would say that Constance Wu is like the we
Speaker 1: are we are Constant Wood, and like all the supporting
Speaker 1: characters are the ones that topic obviously Aquafina and like
Speaker 1: you know, Michelle and like all these supporting characters. But
Speaker 1: it's like when you watch something like My Best Friend's
Speaker 1: Wedding or any of these Jim Carrey movies, it's like
Speaker 1: you really know who the lead character is. Best's Wedding
Speaker 1: it's like a fully unlikable who you still root for
Speaker 1: in some way. Yeah, And I think a lot of
Speaker 1: that has to do with the fact that Julia Roberts
Speaker 1: is playing her, and you root for Julia, you just do.
Speaker 1: But it's interesting, like to watch these movies from the
Speaker 1: nineties and then see like, like what romantic comedy like
Speaker 1: Netflix is making now or whatever, and it's just like
Speaker 1: the formulas seems to be just different. Things need to
Speaker 1: be shorter, as like people's attention spans get shorter. I
Speaker 1: guess um to go back to Jim Carrey, I would
Speaker 1: there was a period of time and I would watch
Speaker 1: like ET, like I would watch these like Hollywood. I
Speaker 1: would just watch like TV just to see if he
Speaker 1: was like on like my mom, like my sister will
Speaker 1: be like Jim carries on ET. You mean Entertainment tonight,
Speaker 1: yea extraterrestrial And and then like I would like sit
Speaker 1: with an interes of the TV just to watch him
Speaker 1: be interviewed, and he would just make these crazy faces.
Speaker 1: Just his whole purpose in the interviews was to make
Speaker 1: the person laugh, And I was just like, how does
Speaker 1: he do it? I need to understand how this man's
Speaker 1: brain works because I want to be that someday. It
Speaker 1: was like truly like this crazy, crazy, crazy obsession, like
Speaker 1: my first full celebrity obsession as a kid. And it's
Speaker 1: still like yeah, still like following him on Instagram'm like wow,
Speaker 1: Jim Yeah. Or like when he would show up on
Speaker 1: the MTV Movie Awards, like you knew he would win
Speaker 1: Comedy Performance of the Year, and then sometimes he was
Speaker 1: like in character, you just knew he was going to
Speaker 1: do funny. Yeah. That's the thing too, is it's like
Speaker 1: that used to be that they have the presenters at
Speaker 1: the Oscars and you'd come out and be like okay,
Speaker 1: and I don't time. It would be like Jack black
Speaker 1: or Ye saying that song about delt Taco. That one
Speaker 1: talking about it was like Jack Black well Ferrell, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: But now it's like I feel like they've relied a little,
Speaker 1: like you kind of get the same people out there
Speaker 1: every single time now. But it did used to feel
Speaker 1: like Jim Carrey would show up, what novel on else
Speaker 1: would matter? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they've ever seen like
Speaker 1: he presented like Meryl Streep with like an a f
Speaker 1: I Award one time and it was literally him like
Speaker 1: not on like just screaming across the auditorium like no,
Speaker 1: and she was like, oh, it's a delight and it's
Speaker 1: such a delight to have this, and like he was
Speaker 1: just like running around the auditorium and that was just
Speaker 1: the presentation, but then there was also but then it
Speaker 1: was at the same awards where fucking Tracy Ellman came
Speaker 1: out and this is iconic, So do you have to
Speaker 1: watch this? So it's like Meryl Streep receiving like an
Speaker 1: a f I Lifetime Achievement Award, and Tracy Ellman tells
Speaker 1: this hilarious story about how they wish I had no idea.
Speaker 1: They did a movie together called Plenty in the eighties,
Speaker 1: which was like a drama with Tracy Ullman and Meryl Street,
Speaker 1: but they literally filmed it in like Tunisia, and so
Speaker 1: they were flying from Tunisia back to the like United
Speaker 1: States or whatever, and Tracy Allman tells a story about
Speaker 1: how they were positive the plane was gonna crash because
Speaker 1: it started crashing, like I started to go down and
Speaker 1: Tracy Ellman is like, doesn't Meryl impre She's like she's like, well,
Speaker 1: the papers are gonna have something to say about this.
Speaker 1: And then she goes and I could see the headline
Speaker 1: now screen got a streep parishes in Tunisian air disaster. Meanwhile,
Speaker 1: Limi comedian Stacy Pullman also on board. Really good. I
Speaker 1: don't do it as good as Tracy Aellman. None of
Speaker 1: us could. None of us could. That's what makes Tracy
Speaker 1: though like and I think that we're do for a
Speaker 1: renaissance or something at the Showtime show. That's right, I
Speaker 1: haven't seen it. Have you watched any of Speaking of
Speaker 1: Showtime shows, you know what I feel like you should
Speaker 1: watch is Kirsten Dunst in the on Becoming a God.
Speaker 1: Have you you must have watched everything? I mean I
Speaker 1: just wrote this on a piece of paper that was
Speaker 1: like anything she does I wish I did, like every
Speaker 1: single movie, also every single look like her and The
Speaker 1: Virgin Suicide. We didn't even mention that. We literally on
Speaker 1: our last episode of the pod that we recorded, we
Speaker 1: talked about her so much, and then today in the
Speaker 1: news she was she feels that Hollywood doesn't appreciate her.
Speaker 1: Read the read the quote, read the quote. I've got it.
Speaker 1: I've got it, I get it. But literally we were
Speaker 1: just talking about how she's like never won a major award,
Speaker 1: rarely gets nominated for ship, but always has the best
Speaker 1: taste in things, like always seems to know like what
Speaker 1: projects to pick, and they all have like staying power,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, And just this under even
Speaker 1: though she was so big, Like also she's understated and
Speaker 1: because she's never obviously and she thinks so too, never gotten,
Speaker 1: Like do you think she floats a theory that she says,
Speaker 1: I think maybe people think of me as the girl
Speaker 1: from Bringing On. I think that people people because she
Speaker 1: was so kind of big when she was younger. I
Speaker 1: think people in their like dumb minds are like, oh,
Speaker 1: she's like you can't take her seriously, she's like a teenager, mean,
Speaker 1: while she's fully thirty seven years old. It's like, and
Speaker 1: your your theory is that Hollywood thinks that she thinks
Speaker 1: she's younger than she is. I think that just there's
Speaker 1: like a there's like a perception of her as being
Speaker 1: like not like a leading lady type when she's so
Speaker 1: obviously and it's like really makes everything look so easy
Speaker 1: that she does because she I feel like this might
Speaker 1: be a weird thing to like connect, but I feel
Speaker 1: like she and like what like her career was like
Speaker 1: I feel like on the same level as like, let's say,
Speaker 1: in Natalie Portman both in these big blockbuster franchises Wimbledon,
Speaker 1: like Wimbledon, and then like, uh, like they're like Natalie
Speaker 1: was in Star Wars, Kirsten was in Spider Man Closer
Speaker 1: and Virgin Suicides or like yeah, I mean she's got
Speaker 1: some resume. Like they had like very similar trajectory, and
Speaker 1: they both work with prest these directors too. It's like,
Speaker 1: you know, like there's like a lot of what does
Speaker 1: she said, what's the quote? The quote is, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I've also had a lot of disappointment that things that
Speaker 1: people like, Remember when Marie Antoinette came out, y'all panned it,
Speaker 1: all panned it, and now you all love it. Remember
Speaker 1: drop dead gorgeous, panned, now you all love it. It's
Speaker 1: interesting for me, I feel like a lot of things
Speaker 1: I do people like later she's so right, and it's
Speaker 1: it's kind of it's kind of confounding. It's like she
Speaker 1: is do like such such a such a more like
Speaker 1: widely celebrated career. Then there's like so many smaller performances
Speaker 1: of hers that are just overlooked like my favorite example
Speaker 1: of like someone like really slang and like no one
Speaker 1: noticing is like her and eternal Sunshine of the Spolacey. Yeah,
Speaker 1: another jump toward a force. Speaking of Jim, I think
Speaker 1: so good in that. Um, did you guys watch Fargo
Speaker 1: season two? Yeah, but what she does is so hard
Speaker 1: like and also like the thing about her is like
Speaker 1: she's a real character actress. She embodies characters and she's
Speaker 1: good at accents, like she's like this unbecoming a god
Speaker 1: intentraal Farda. We were talking about it today. I was
Speaker 1: talking about it today UM with someone and they were saying, like,
Speaker 1: you know, you see her and she's like really playing
Speaker 1: this woman. Like her transformation is like she gets her
Speaker 1: braces off, but her body is still like a normal
Speaker 1: woman's body, you know what I mean. Like it's like
Speaker 1: she just like really commits to authenticity in a way
Speaker 1: that I feel is like rare. I think. And then
Speaker 1: part of this part for someone that came up in
Speaker 1: the nineties when it was like a lot of like
Speaker 1: there wasn't so much awareness on the fact that we
Speaker 1: do this to women in Hollywood, where it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: I bet a lot of her contemporaries are like, you know,
Speaker 1: like are like a victim of that kind of culture,
Speaker 1: which was the late nineties early two thousands. I remember
Speaker 1: like Perez Hilton was calling Kirston Dunce like a ship
Speaker 1: stain on this website, like seriously, like she's been through
Speaker 1: a media age that was like very cruel to women.
Speaker 1: Sure she in the same interview I think, was like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I guess I'm just chill, like like
Speaker 1: in a way that was just like I don't know
Speaker 1: people like people like, don't people like look like overlooking
Speaker 1: because I guess I'm just like chilling. I don't like
Speaker 1: make to play the game is don't play the game,
Speaker 1: which I think I truly think she does because she
Speaker 1: was on Cold Bear like recently to promote the show,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh yeah, like I forgot that.
Speaker 1: This was like Kirston Dunes like the person. She's not
Speaker 1: like larger than she's just like a chill person. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's an actress, who that's what she does. Like she's
Speaker 1: not a celebrity. But don't you I have don't you
Speaker 1: have like such respect for that. I'm just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's so refreshing, and I am obsessed and like that's
Speaker 1: what I want. Here's a question, here's a question for you,
Speaker 1: Like do you get like a lot of like press,
Speaker 1: like opportunity to are they asking you to do a
Speaker 1: lot of press now that you're like, I'm like not
Speaker 1: a veteran of the show, out of it ago not
Speaker 1: like not not too much, you know, you know, more
Speaker 1: than a year ago. But when you put you on
Speaker 1: seth was truly a beautiful, beautiful moment. I loved it.
Speaker 1: Like this is so I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: do you feel comfortable with it? Or is it weird?
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get more comfortable. I think that being
Speaker 1: like people pleaser my whole life. I can um air
Speaker 1: more on the like polite and the closer I can
Speaker 1: get to just being myself is like a challenge I
Speaker 1: have every time I do something like, you know, just
Speaker 1: to make sure I'm being myself. Yeah. And also it's
Speaker 1: like that thing of like be yourself but also be
Speaker 1: like entertaining. For us, well, it's like a lot to
Speaker 1: appear effortless. It's effort to effortless because being effortless truly
Speaker 1: is the hardest thing in the world. Ironically, well, some
Speaker 1: people real it's probably not real. Yeah, I think some
Speaker 1: people are just really good at like and having a
Speaker 1: lot of energy when they go out there. But you know,
Speaker 1: I was recently watching UM, like a clip of Aubrey
Speaker 1: Plaza on UM. It was like a super cud of
Speaker 1: Aubrey Plaza on Conan, And I guess her bit on
Speaker 1: Conan is that she goes out there and it's like whatever,
Speaker 1: like Okay, I don't know, I really don't want to
Speaker 1: do this, and that's like a bit that she does.
Speaker 1: But like I really respect like sticking that bit because
Speaker 1: to go out there and be like anti energy but
Speaker 1: it's so funny, like that is hard and yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean he and he's laughing and he's like he's like, um,
Speaker 1: so what have you been doing? And she's like, I
Speaker 1: don't know, I've been busy and he's like, okay, the
Speaker 1: kind of stuff, and she's like, um, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I did a movie that I'm here to talk about,
Speaker 1: what you know, and he's like okay. But now she's
Speaker 1: so lucky that she has that, and then it is
Speaker 1: effortless I see at this point, But like how do
Speaker 1: you get those? Because you know, the first few times
Speaker 1: weren't like that probably nervous. How do you get to
Speaker 1: that point where now it's also Christen Wig whenever she
Speaker 1: goes on, like whenever she's on the Tonight Show, it's
Speaker 1: always she'll go on. It's like, yeah, I know in
Speaker 1: a bald cap. I'm like, you want to get figured
Speaker 1: out that place where people automatically or just excited like
Speaker 1: me with Jim Carrey on the MTP movie, or like
Speaker 1: just knowing you're in for it, they're going to do
Speaker 1: something funny. I think, like, I think, I think I
Speaker 1: think it's I think it's like it's already there for
Speaker 1: everybody to just like show up and like not expect
Speaker 1: people to be excited, but just to like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: like carry that as if you like walk into walk
Speaker 1: into a situation. Carrying this image of people already being
Speaker 1: excited that you're there kind of just helps well. Being
Speaker 1: a guest on. Like Joel recently told me that he's
Speaker 1: going to start doing press for like Sunnyside, joking Booster
Speaker 1: is on that show Son. He saw it NBC and
Speaker 1: he said that he mentioned he was doing a show,
Speaker 1: and I'm like I looked at him and I'm like,
Speaker 1: but you're my friend. You're not allow I'm gonna watch
Speaker 1: you on a show get interviewed. No, it was weird.
Speaker 1: I was like, he was like, I'm gonna be on
Speaker 1: set Meyers and I was like, no, no, you can't,
Speaker 1: can't do that. Yeah, you're not famous, you're my friend. Friend.
Speaker 1: I have a friend, my friend Michelle, who the second
Speaker 1: I got on SNL was like, what about the trolls?
Speaker 1: And I was like Michelle, I was like, well, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, that will be hard, you know. And she's like,
Speaker 1: do you want me to start it? And I was like,
Speaker 1: what do you mean? She was like like start you know,
Speaker 1: so like the first negative thing comes from a friend
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh my god. And every time, like
Speaker 1: she's always just kind of being like asking the questions,
Speaker 1: like what if this doesn't work out? And I was like,
Speaker 1: I'll be a teacher. I don't know, like Michelle teacher Michelle,
Speaker 1: but it's and she's been my friends second grade. Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel like you have been embraced and beloved, like
Speaker 1: in a way that like not that we haven't seen
Speaker 1: in a few years, but like I really feel like
Speaker 1: the response to you has been so good. Do you
Speaker 1: feel that not? According to Michelle. Michelle. Michelle is the
Speaker 1: one who's like orchestrating, like the camp like truly Michelle.
Speaker 1: But I do feel like you've you've like it's you've
Speaker 1: hit hard. Oh that's right, and it is very fun
Speaker 1: to watch. She was saying, s l a Y it's
Speaker 1: it's the coolest thing in the world. You really kill
Speaker 1: those weekend update characters. Do you have like someone that
Speaker 1: you write with a lot at the show, like like,
Speaker 1: what's what's the machine? That is Heide Gardner the machine? Well,
Speaker 1: you know, from being a shy person at first, I
Speaker 1: think like the first few weeks that s n L.
Speaker 1: You know, it's first year writing by myself, you know,
Speaker 1: which was just because it's scared to knock on doors
Speaker 1: and you're like, hi, I'm me and also if you
Speaker 1: want to write with me, so um, that was like
Speaker 1: a character to defect. But also I think, let me
Speaker 1: get my point of view out even just the writers
Speaker 1: and producers and then you know, Sudi I write with
Speaker 1: all the time, and fran Bowen, James Anderson, yeah, me
Speaker 1: and Mikey. Oh yeah, you and Mikey are like the thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean that was a goal this year. I was like,
Speaker 1: I want to have like chemistry with the cast member something,
Speaker 1: so that is fun. Andrew dismukex is is so I love.
Speaker 1: And also I loved that um Flora Bama Shore sketch
Speaker 1: that you guys did as a couple of years ago
Speaker 1: where you were like, um, I was born in born
Speaker 1: in Epcot Centers, and then Sudi told me about the
Speaker 1: line that was cut and I was born in the
Speaker 1: China section of Epcot Centers, which means I'm half Chinese,
Speaker 1: half Disney, which I can't believe I cut that Chinese
Speaker 1: half Disney. It's so funny. Also the fact that it's
Speaker 1: Epcot Centers, centers of centers, she can just tap into
Speaker 1: like Southern nons, like like fucking Southern nonsense like Bayou Panhandle. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's why I like working with him. Well, it was
Speaker 1: like it was me, him and Lukenol and I think
Speaker 1: we all come from different parts of trash, so we
Speaker 1: could all and then to let that trash to swop
Speaker 1: together was like, oh, this feels so good. Perfect, It
Speaker 1: really is so vivid. Love that boy. Cute boy. Let
Speaker 1: me tell you something. We run into each other a
Speaker 1: couple of times in Los Angeles and handsome so handsome,
Speaker 1: so funny, can play the guitar. Yeah, we just played
Speaker 1: zeb and I played with Luke and his girlfriend Caitlin.
Speaker 1: Am like one of those card games role like I
Speaker 1: would say, it's like a geekery type like one that
Speaker 1: I'm not like. I played Settlers of Can with them.
Speaker 1: I'm not used of those. This one was called love
Speaker 1: Letters and it was all like you earned cubes to
Speaker 1: have sex with a princess and it was really fast,
Speaker 1: a fast play game. It was very funny. Because I'm
Speaker 1: always intimidated. I'm like, my mind ain't gonna work, like
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna get this. But he's really into those.
Speaker 1: So any Luke No Thing plane you got to send
Speaker 1: the board game pieces. But he's got a girlfriend, Caitlin
Speaker 1: is awesome. So so listen girls, you men, if you're
Speaker 1: a boy out there, as you're a Luke No fan,
Speaker 1: you can send them game pieces. The only game pieces
Speaker 1: that he Luke No and I will say he was
Speaker 1: referring to these game pieces as fuck cubes. That's the
Speaker 1: only time I'll cuss on this. Wow, that's the only
Speaker 1: time I'll cuss on this. Another front runner for That's
Speaker 1: the only time I'll cuss on this. Have you ever
Speaker 1: met Rachel Drowski, don't you feel like they have very
Speaker 1: similar energy? Yes. I knew her for like a week,
Speaker 1: and I thought she was awesome and so funny. Yes,
Speaker 1: you guys just remind me so much of each other.
Speaker 1: She was like, she was like between she loves basketball too.
Speaker 1: She lovesball like a basketball queen. Yeah, okay, yes, because
Speaker 1: I think because Heidi and other people I think have
Speaker 1: all had separate conversations with me where they're like, you,
Speaker 1: basketball is the best sport to follow because there are
Speaker 1: narratives that play out. It feels it's like it's like explain,
Speaker 1: I will, I will compare some It's like drag race.
Speaker 1: It's like there there are these people that you're just
Speaker 1: like invested in. You want to see where they go
Speaker 1: and you want to see so talk us through like
Speaker 1: the the the perennial appeal of basketball, well, the narratives,
Speaker 1: well just from the start. I grew up in the
Speaker 1: time of like Jordan, which was just which is like superhero,
Speaker 1: you know, like the air Jordan's dunking. It's just super fun.
Speaker 1: And also they were so many It's so many personalities,
Speaker 1: like on every team and so there's usually like the star,
Speaker 1: like the Michael Jordan's, the Charles Barkley, the Shack, and
Speaker 1: then there's always like a number two, you know, it's
Speaker 1: like Jordan and Pippen. And so lately in basketball, um
Speaker 1: there have been these like kind of super teams where
Speaker 1: there's almost like three players that are like amazing. And
Speaker 1: then so it's like on the Golden State Warriors, it's
Speaker 1: like Clay Thompson stuff create and then they got Kevin
Speaker 1: Durant and then that makes a super team and then
Speaker 1: you're just like they're never gonna lose and they won
Speaker 1: like five years in a row. Well, what's happened with
Speaker 1: the NBA, like over the summer is that now it's
Speaker 1: back to those two man squads, Like there's no super team.
Speaker 1: So now none of us know what's going to happen.
Speaker 1: And it's like this motley crew of like people partnering up,
Speaker 1: like James Harden and Russell Westbrook who used to play
Speaker 1: like seven years together and now they're back together, and
Speaker 1: everyone's trying so hard to win a championship, and Kawhi
Speaker 1: Leonard and Paul Georgia together. There's all these combos we
Speaker 1: don't know what's going to happen, And it's just like
Speaker 1: so exciting to see how will these personalities work together
Speaker 1: play together. And I'm a massive Lebron tan who's been
Speaker 1: a part of super teams as well, because all if
Speaker 1: anybody cares about the NBA lifting, who will be Like
Speaker 1: she didn't mention Lebron having a super team too, but
Speaker 1: he didn't. But I'm just a Lebron lover because, um,
Speaker 1: he to me is like a real life superhero. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: who is the when the draft picks were happening, I
Speaker 1: remember we were at work, you were watching and who's
Speaker 1: like the kid that everyone went zon? He's like who
Speaker 1: also would seem like the next Lebron? Like he looks
Speaker 1: like like when like Lebron's I'm not saying this in
Speaker 1: a creepy way, like Lebron's Phizzy is out of this world,
Speaker 1: Like it's a robot, it's a superhero, it's a man,
Speaker 1: it's a everything. As Zion has the next the next top,
Speaker 1: because we're his next top. Did Lebron have the similar
Speaker 1: similar physice to Michael to Michael Michael Jordan's And then
Speaker 1: he had to bulk up because people were coming after him,
Speaker 1: so then he did get more muscular. But then but
Speaker 1: Lebron is just his own Lebron was like six nine,
Speaker 1: but Lebron is like lean muscle, put buff, huge muscle,
Speaker 1: could do anything, crazy proportions. Yes, he spends a million
Speaker 1: dollars a year on his body alone, just working out
Speaker 1: vitamins and like um diet, so diet workouts, cry. Oh,
Speaker 1: he's got his own cry chamber. Those are the only
Speaker 1: three things I can think of. And so I'm sure
Speaker 1: more money gets dispersed to other places, but I'm sure
Speaker 1: like seven hundred k goes to food like alone. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's got to have like the best of the best
Speaker 1: putting in his body. Well, I will say so, there
Speaker 1: was this one time where he posted his meal on
Speaker 1: Insta story and I clocked it because you know, usually
Speaker 1: it was like a steak and broccoli and he loves wine,
Speaker 1: but this one night it was like um, wine as steak.
Speaker 1: And then what I refer to as Jojo fries, which
Speaker 1: are like the potato wedge fries pl at the college
Speaker 1: dorm um in the cafeteria that I went to, they
Speaker 1: were advertised as Jojo fries. So my friend and I
Speaker 1: know him as Jojo Fries. So I screenshot at that
Speaker 1: that he was eating Jojo Fries and I sent it
Speaker 1: to my friends from college, Jenny in Austin, and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, lebron eats Jojo Fries. To
Speaker 1: like this because anything where I can have like the
Speaker 1: same footing as Lebron Um. And then that night he
Speaker 1: didn't play. He was sick. Did they make you sick
Speaker 1: in college? Probably because I ate so many? Do you
Speaker 1: think that it was that he was sick? And then
Speaker 1: he was like, well, I want to I want to
Speaker 1: eat what I want to eat. It's not a normal
Speaker 1: game day. I'm gonna eat Jojo Fries. Personally, I think
Speaker 1: they interrupted a system and you can't play on that.
Speaker 1: I honor that theory. I also think he could have
Speaker 1: just known that he was sick and he was like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna see what I want to eat. I'm not playing. Yes,
Speaker 1: I could go either way. When really, I mean, basketball
Speaker 1: players can play on anything. This is another thing I
Speaker 1: love about the NBA is that a lot of basketball
Speaker 1: players coming in because you know, they're like seventeen year
Speaker 1: old kids. You know, they haven't learned from the nutritionists yet,
Speaker 1: so they're just addicted to candy. Like there's a stat
Speaker 1: that Derrick Rose when he was still he missed out
Speaker 1: in college on an n C double A tournament because
Speaker 1: of a gummy bear overdose. What and I eat a
Speaker 1: lot of gum to us gummy bears? Do you know
Speaker 1: how many? So many? And there's lots of guys like
Speaker 1: this in the NBA. Like there's a shot from the
Speaker 1: Phoenix suns uh like two years ago. I love It's
Speaker 1: one of my favorite pictures. I should frame it. Where
Speaker 1: they are on the bench, there's a game going on
Speaker 1: on the bench. The players are passing around a tupper
Speaker 1: were full of what appears to be Halloween candy. Like
Speaker 1: there's a lot of different little tiny packages and they
Speaker 1: are eating it on the bench and then playing. And
Speaker 1: you think it's because they just went straight from being
Speaker 1: seventeen to being like professional athletes. They still love the kids.
Speaker 1: That's that's that's probably right. And I don't know if
Speaker 1: that's that's what. I don't know if that explains that.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know why I love gummies so much.
Speaker 1: I don't either, I love them. I have a question
Speaker 1: about maybe this is going to be a little bit
Speaker 1: um incisive, but what say you about all the cheating
Speaker 1: that goes on in the NBA. These men our cheaters.
Speaker 1: Every NBA player seems to be a cheater, and um,
Speaker 1: we need a comment from you on that. I can't.
Speaker 1: I mean, gosh, I'm such an NBA loyalist, A cheaters
Speaker 1: and a lot of cheaters. Well, I mean, I don't
Speaker 1: know what the rules are when you get in a
Speaker 1: relationship with an NBA player. I feel like there might
Speaker 1: be a conversation up toptast No, I don't. It just
Speaker 1: seems like there's so much a lot of stuff we
Speaker 1: don't know, a lot of conversations that we're not But
Speaker 1: there are, you know, I don't know. There are couples
Speaker 1: that I just think are up Yeah that don't you know,
Speaker 1: Like Dwayne Ray Wade and Gabrielle Union. Tight, I know,
Speaker 1: I just saw that Gabrielle Union is an icon forever. Yes,
Speaker 1: and for her to be now married to Dwayne Wade
Speaker 1: that must be huge. You must have liked her much more. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean they just yeah, And they're so. I mean
Speaker 1: I follow both on Instagram. They're so. They have a
Speaker 1: good relationship. They take I think they take shots at
Speaker 1: each other in a way that I like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: and even like sometimes I can't remember who it was,
Speaker 1: but you know, she posted a picture in a swim
Speaker 1: suit and another player I can't remember who it was,
Speaker 1: just wrote like damn. And then Dwyane Wade was like, dude, yeah,
Speaker 1: like he's checking up on day, you know, and it
Speaker 1: is their friends. Yeah. That totally disapproves and dismantles your
Speaker 1: whole f right. I think that every relationship in the
Speaker 1: NBA is healthy. I think that it's all healthy. And
Speaker 1: I've obviously had discussions that we're not privy too, and
Speaker 1: I'm happy to have brought it up on the podcast
Speaker 1: because not everyone knows being a wag is its own
Speaker 1: job and there are so and girlfriends. Okay, wag great,
Speaker 1: so you know that's all. It is my god episode
Speaker 1: of Atlanta you should watch. Okay, very good, it's very good. Wait,
Speaker 1: it's called Wags. I think the episode is called Wags,
Speaker 1: and it's it's um, what's her face? That that amazing
Speaker 1: actress the female lead in Atlanta, Like it's a bottle
Speaker 1: episode where she just goes out to dinner with this
Speaker 1: friend who's a wag. Yeah, it's he beats And then
Speaker 1: I think it's a bottle episode of it's just her
Speaker 1: character going hanging out with her old friend who's now
Speaker 1: a wagon is like rich and fucking like doesn't give
Speaker 1: a ship and like he's just like, oh, I'm still poor.
Speaker 1: It's a really good episode of television. I'll have to
Speaker 1: check that. And now it is time for us to
Speaker 1: check out. I don't think so, honey. It's our segment
Speaker 1: with that we always do on the pot. It's one
Speaker 1: minute to runt against something in the culture that we
Speaker 1: don't like. Our tours are completed for the year. Y'all
Speaker 1: thank you for coming out to our shows. If you
Speaker 1: did come out, that was very kind. They were so fun.
Speaker 1: Every show is so good. There was not a bad show, truly,
Speaker 1: not for that and think because there could have been
Speaker 1: because they're always would have said, you know, we had
Speaker 1: a bad show and we didn't to but we didn't
Speaker 1: go to which I don't think we have a fan
Speaker 1: base there. But if you're living, which time you want
Speaker 1: us to come, we can hang out. We'll go to
Speaker 1: We'll go to local go to a local bar, all right.
Speaker 1: I have one Okay, this is Matt Rodgers. I don't
Speaker 1: think so many And it's time starts now. I don't
Speaker 1: think so honey gators. Gators. You guys are crazy. You're
Speaker 1: you're reptiles. You are crazy. You eat kids. The other day,
Speaker 1: I was in Walt Disney World, and by the other day,
Speaker 1: I mean several months ago, and I was thinking to
Speaker 1: myself about that gator that ate that toddler. That was inappropriate.
Speaker 1: You took that life. Hello there, you can't be having gators, um.
Speaker 1: And also, if you're Walt Disney World, then you're not
Speaker 1: doing enough gator maintenance. You need to be getting in
Speaker 1: there and finding them and pushing them out. Yard dinosaurs
Speaker 1: you should actually be here. I don't think so honey
Speaker 1: dinosaurs a works thing for many years. I don't think
Speaker 1: so honey gators, Um that you can They can also
Speaker 1: kill you with their tail. That is really fucked up.
Speaker 1: Do you know that if a Gaylor swings its tale
Speaker 1: could break your leg and snap it in half? Mrs
Speaker 1: in books. I don't think so honey gators because, um,
Speaker 1: you ruin my favorite state, which is Florida. I don't
Speaker 1: think so honey gators. Um you you kill someone and
Speaker 1: I'm becoming a god intential Florida spoiler alert. I don't
Speaker 1: think so a gator and that's one minute. You know,
Speaker 1: you haven't watched it yet, but you know, gator kills
Speaker 1: a character. I know that a gator eats a character.
Speaker 1: That's amazing. And I heard from my friend he said, quote,
Speaker 1: you will gasp when it happens. Is your favorite state? Um,
Speaker 1: my favorite state is California. A Okay, there you go.
Speaker 1: If that's true about the gator, then I would quote
Speaker 1: your friend from The Dark Knight and say, I have
Speaker 1: so much more respect for that. Yeah. Yeah, well they
Speaker 1: did it. They did it. Also, I really was in
Speaker 1: Disney World, and I kept thinking, like we were like
Speaker 1: leaving the hotel, and I kept thinking about, like that
Speaker 1: that horrific story about how that gator eat that toddler.
Speaker 1: Like I read about it, and it was a mistake
Speaker 1: to read about it because it's really even more upset,
Speaker 1: and it was an ongoing story over the course of
Speaker 1: like two weeks, when they were like like new developments
Speaker 1: kept coming out where like the parents, well the parents
Speaker 1: were like gonna sue yeah, and then it was like, no,
Speaker 1: it's not a thing because like the kid wasn't necessarily
Speaker 1: supposed to be there. But now when you go to
Speaker 1: Walt the Walt Disney Old Resort. Everywhere there are signs
Speaker 1: that say like that are like in front of the
Speaker 1: water that are like, don't come here, don't come here,
Speaker 1: don't come here. You can tell they really went extra
Speaker 1: mile to make sure that it never happens again, because
Speaker 1: how horrifying is that? Yeah, very horrifying, very horrifying. Let's
Speaker 1: sit with that, all right, this is gonna be Um,
Speaker 1: so my I don't think it's honey, was very successful
Speaker 1: on gators. Um, this is Bowen Yang's. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: His time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Europe,
Speaker 1: you need to be closer to America. Because I was.
Speaker 1: I would have gone to vacation in you for my
Speaker 1: five days, the only five days I have out this
Speaker 1: whole summer. I was gonna go vacation in you, but
Speaker 1: you're too far away, and it was it would have
Speaker 1: been too much time for me to spend flying and
Speaker 1: trying to like adjust to the time. Your friends, Europe,
Speaker 1: it would be perfect if you were just a little
Speaker 1: bit closer, about an hour and a half closer to America,
Speaker 1: then it would be so good to be in you, darling.
Speaker 1: But I can't vacation in Nice. I can't go to
Speaker 1: you know, Lisbon or wherever the hell I would have gone.
Speaker 1: I had to cancel. I had, I had to cancel
Speaker 1: a whole continent in my head. And I was like,
Speaker 1: I guess I'll settle for Turks and Caikos. So that's
Speaker 1: where I'm going. I'm going to Turks and Kikos. But
Speaker 1: part of me wishes I was at um you know,
Speaker 1: the Almend resort in uh Switzerland. You know, part of
Speaker 1: me wishes I was in New Europe. Listen, it's not
Speaker 1: that I don't like you, it' said I wish I could.
Speaker 1: I wish you allowed me to like four seconds and that,
Speaker 1: and that's all. That's my beef with Europe, the entire
Speaker 1: continent of Europe. Also, you're going through some some some
Speaker 1: moments right now with the white nationalism. That's one minute
Speaker 1: of course that when I famously ended in the words
Speaker 1: the white nationalism, I would say, I guess it would
Speaker 1: be better for you if you're up for Canada. Huh.
Speaker 1: If I was what if you're up war Canada? If
Speaker 1: I was more if Canada, I'm sorry I misheard you,
Speaker 1: but yes I understand and famously in Canada. Montreal is
Speaker 1: sort of like the European city of Canada. So why
Speaker 1: don't you just go there? I don't understand it. Stupid Montreal.
Speaker 1: I don't want to like vacation there because it's like
Speaker 1: it you can go to Lauron. Oh my god, Oh
Speaker 1: my god. We haven't talked about Lauron. You know who
Speaker 1: I saw, lar Kevin Hart is this island in It's
Speaker 1: this island in Montreal along the St. Lawrence River and
Speaker 1: it's a theme park. It turned into a six Flags
Speaker 1: park when I was a kid. When I was a kid,
Speaker 1: all I wanted to do is go to Lauron. They
Speaker 1: wouldn't take you. My my parents said, no, that is
Speaker 1: for that is for rich kids. And they were totally
Speaker 1: bullstrating with it, but they really they just didn't want
Speaker 1: to take me to the theme park. It doesn't sound
Speaker 1: like it's hurt. Well, I think. I think my sister
Speaker 1: and I used my sister one all the time. But
Speaker 1: for me, it was like I used that as leverage
Speaker 1: to be like, well then when we moved to the US,
Speaker 1: you're taking us to disney World. And it worked. But
Speaker 1: my whole childhood because all the all the cool kids
Speaker 1: went to Laurondo over the summer every single weekend, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I want to go so badly. Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm so sad for you that you didn't get to go.
Speaker 1: I can see a little you like begging you got
Speaker 1: to go. I got to go to and I desired
Speaker 1: you because I was actually was taken to anywhere I
Speaker 1: wanted to go. My parents never restricted me, and I
Speaker 1: never heard no all. I could say the name of
Speaker 1: a theme park and we would be on our way
Speaker 1: park yeahend any times, many times. And guess what I've
Speaker 1: done every roller coaster in there. And if I said
Speaker 1: to my parents, I didn't make it happen. How about
Speaker 1: that horrible? Because I was at a theme park once,
Speaker 1: Worlds of Fun, where I'm proud but you haven't know. Okay.
Speaker 1: So I was at World of Fun and with two
Speaker 1: of my friends, well a friend and then his little
Speaker 1: brother who wasn't so little at the time, he was eight,
Speaker 1: and the mom was there and she still pushed the
Speaker 1: eight year old in a stroll. And that is thinking
Speaker 1: of that you got pushed literally would be the one.
Speaker 1: I would be the one who would have on my
Speaker 1: own two damn feet to every goddamn track. You got
Speaker 1: pushed and roll to the roller because no, I literally
Speaker 1: it worked really hard. And who was in that park?
Speaker 1: No one, because I wasn't there. I was to go boo,
Speaker 1: who stupid listen And now we turned the Heide Gardener.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, and it's going to be your I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey, Heide Gardeners. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Her time starts now, okay, warning, Europe's going to take
Speaker 1: it again. I don't think so, honey. Christants are good
Speaker 1: in France. I don't think so, honey. America got better
Speaker 1: at it, I don't think. And the proof is in
Speaker 1: the pudding. Go to Dominique on salt creator the cronut.
Speaker 1: He forgot about the crow part of it. Okay, because
Speaker 1: the Croissans and France are low to the ground and
Speaker 1: no flake. America practiced and got better. It's the same
Speaker 1: as like with the with the NBA where the dream
Speaker 1: team basketball in the Olympics. But like sometimes you know,
Speaker 1: you get lazy because you think you're the best, and
Speaker 1: then Portugal or Spain comes in and wins. France has
Speaker 1: done that with croissants. Go to proof in l A,
Speaker 1: go to the Village Bakery. You'll get a high flying croissants,
Speaker 1: lots of butter. That place Maison keys there um, which
Speaker 1: I just butchered the name. I've just a joke of
Speaker 1: a croissant and honey. I grew up eating grocery store
Speaker 1: croissans and I've gotten better. I don't think so that
Speaker 1: was really good. You're talking about Costco croissans because those
Speaker 1: things are high flying. I'm talking about sun Fresh. But
Speaker 1: I bet we see that we're thinking the same in
Speaker 1: our head, big plump, yes, low to the ground croissans.
Speaker 1: I don't know flake. We are Portugal and we're Lisbon. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: oh my god. I will be going to Duncan Donuts
Speaker 1: and enjoying the croissans. They're very good, cris Hi flake,
Speaker 1: but I like them Hi Flake. Like no. I'm saying,
Speaker 1: if if the barometer is no flake, you'd rather have
Speaker 1: no flake? Wait, what do you want? Fake? And I
Speaker 1: want big? I liked you so much, and then in
Speaker 1: the last two minutes with the theme park snobbery that
Speaker 1: you're shown and brattery by, and then that's just how
Speaker 1: cockily this Duncan Donuts. I just want to say that
Speaker 1: I don't think so honey had nothing to do with
Speaker 1: the duncan do I know, I will try it, but
Speaker 1: he's putting that onto me. You gotta go, I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Is they know how to parrot with an egg and
Speaker 1: a cheese and a sausage. Oh my god, No, I
Speaker 1: just want to I don't. I don't like sandwiches, or no,
Speaker 1: you don't, you don't need it? Shut up? I do
Speaker 1: they get so greasy and become their own things. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they definitely do. But I enjoy what they become Croissan
Speaker 1: because I am not a pastry queen. I am you
Speaker 1: know I love a Croissan. It's it's truly my bread,
Speaker 1: am butter. Oh, oh my god. You start really strong
Speaker 1: and charming. At the beginning. I was delighted, and towards
Speaker 1: the end she had no respect for us, and it attracts. Wow.
Speaker 1: This is a fantastic episode of Lost Cultures. This fabulous episode.
Speaker 1: We've been fantasizing, yeah about this very moment, very much time.
Speaker 1: Where can people find you? Every week on television Saturday Night.
Speaker 1: It's going to be on right now. I guess we're
Speaker 1: in the season. By the time it comes out will
Speaker 1: be that's gray. I knew it wasn't that fun? That
Speaker 1: is fun. It feels like it feels like I've been
Speaker 1: here the whole time. You're truly the best person, the
Speaker 1: best one, the best person. And I heard you give
Speaker 1: good gifts to Christmas, gave everybody a plate of cookies
Speaker 1: and like I said, like numerous people told me that
Speaker 1: you know who's cookie was on that that was the
Speaker 1: best cookie. Michelle one, my troll, my best She came
Speaker 1: over and helped make cookies and her cookie got all
Speaker 1: the attention. And no, I didn't make and no comment
Speaker 1: about no cookie, I said. They were all good about
Speaker 1: no cookie. Um, we love you and thank you for
Speaker 1: being here, and now we do. We've finished every episode
Speaker 1: with a song. However you want, I'll be tea tell
Speaker 1: us pair. You just gotta forget it. Rock got no reason,
Speaker 1: Rock got no right. You gotta get me to school.
Speaker 1: Long time. This has been a Forever Dog production executive
Speaker 1: produced by Brett Boham, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For
Speaker 1: more original podcasts, please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com
Speaker 1: and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever
Speaker 1: you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever
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Speaker 1: Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook m