Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast. Okay,
Speaker 1: I feel like we need to start this episode how
Speaker 1: we started Easter Church Sunday, because it was one of
Speaker 1: those where the pastor was like, we're always going and
Speaker 1: going and rushing, and he's like, everyone, just take a
Speaker 1: nice deep breath. I feel like I need that right now.
Speaker 2: It's a lot. It's only and it's early in the morning.
Speaker 2: It's already a lot.
Speaker 1: I have thrown and footballs, made lunches, so.
Speaker 2: Don't do way too much in the morning.
Speaker 3: I would like to say I did have a moment
Speaker 3: this morning.
Speaker 2: Up and I got ready.
Speaker 1: Now I'm kidding your kids are at a different age though.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I help dreams to get ready, but
Speaker 2: like even then she gets herself ready too.
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's definitely Jason's like play football. You know,
Speaker 1: Wine is in belgram mode. So I cannot detach her
Speaker 1: to save my life. Like she's literally have in the
Speaker 1: most tragic Academy Award winning Goodbye in the driveway this morning,
Speaker 1: Mama and like hand out, like never let go Jack,
Speaker 1: I mean, it's really something.
Speaker 3: Wait, where did she goes? You go to daycare?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 3: No? Yeah, single mom that gets up every single morning
Speaker 3: and has to get themselves in a car and get
Speaker 3: into traffic and do all of that. I thought that
Speaker 3: this point, how lucky am I to stay home?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Holy Mac.
Speaker 2: I look back and I'm like, I don't know how
Speaker 2: I did that. I'm not a morning person like we've
Speaker 2: talked about, and it's like get up, get ready, get
Speaker 2: all the kids to school, daycare, and then go into Nashville. Oh,
Speaker 2: I could never do it again. No, it's terrible.
Speaker 1: So we're gonna We're just realized about myself. Is I'm
Speaker 1: a psycho when I'm.
Speaker 3: Do you want to end it there? That's where my
Speaker 3: sentence ends this morning period.
Speaker 1: I know when I go to my freak out moment.
Speaker 1: Today was my freak out, and I know why now
Speaker 1: I go to my freakout when I am so overwhelmed
Speaker 1: with a million different things. Normally the way that a
Speaker 1: dishwasher is loaded.
Speaker 2: This is not where I thought this was going, is
Speaker 2: how I know?
Speaker 3: Please continue?
Speaker 1: This is actually this was gonna be my wine about it.
Speaker 1: But it's not just host chat because it kind of
Speaker 1: explains I can I have another wine about it. But
Speaker 1: don't worry, there's something there. Do Okay, yes, stay duned,
Speaker 1: dearest readers. So I was I have a very particular
Speaker 1: way of how I do the dishwasher. Now I am
Speaker 1: very I'd rather though, so I don't usually freak out.
Speaker 1: I rather just the people put them in the dishwasher.
Speaker 1: It's fine. I will then quietly rearrange because I love
Speaker 1: to save space in a dishwasher. I loaded, like, that's correct.
Speaker 1: And so, but what I've realized is, and I've always
Speaker 1: kind of wondered when this comes, but now I know
Speaker 1: when it comes is when I'm so overwhelmed, everything just
Speaker 1: gets and I then I explode. Right So, in the
Speaker 1: middle of throwing a football this morning with Jase trying
Speaker 1: to make lunches, making him he's got like this, uh
Speaker 1: he has to memorize like his street, you know, street address,
Speaker 1: my phone number all so, and then the spelling tests
Speaker 1: and we're working all that in the morning, throwing footballs
Speaker 1: like right his you know, during all that, and then
Speaker 1: like Granma's like and then I open the dishwasher, I'm.
Speaker 3: Like, oh my gosh, we are soul mate.
Speaker 1: And so but then it's but then then I can't
Speaker 1: stop the train of like I see the laundry in
Speaker 1: the corner. And then but then, you know, so it's
Speaker 1: like I so when I know there's so many things
Speaker 1: I have to do, I then look at everything that's
Speaker 1: left undone, and then it feels like it's all left
Speaker 1: for me to do. Now I know, I have a
Speaker 1: very you know, helpful partner and all those things, but
Speaker 1: in those moments, I can't control my explosion, right, and
Speaker 1: I don't explode at anybody, but well, I mean I
Speaker 1: make a little snippy when we take that back here,
Speaker 1: but he's like, wow, some of my little little passive
Speaker 1: little throws there, you know, But I can't stop it.
Speaker 1: It's like it's I get and then I'm like, I
Speaker 1: just I can't stop the ball from rolling when I
Speaker 1: feel so And now mind you, I'm leaving for Kentucky today.
Speaker 1: I booked a new movie. I have a whole entire
Speaker 1: script that I do not know. And then I've but
Speaker 1: I and then I have to you know, then I'm
Speaker 1: I get to do all the other things for the
Speaker 1: kids and this, that and the other. So I am
Speaker 1: wildly at the moment stressed. And there's a lot to
Speaker 1: do and a lot to learn, and a lot to
Speaker 1: get done before I leave. Today. I like the location,
Speaker 1: so I just I just feel like I just needed
Speaker 1: to let that out. And now that I've said it,
Speaker 1: I'm okay. But you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Oh, I know what you're I know what you're saying.
Speaker 2: But are sure you're okay?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm good. I'll cry about it and probably too. No,
Speaker 1: but I now know, though, I'm going to have to
Speaker 1: do some sort of like breathing technique or something when
Speaker 1: I get like this, because I now know I explode
Speaker 1: and turned psycho over things that I don't usually become
Speaker 1: psycho about, but I do it when I'm overwhelmed. So
Speaker 1: can y'all help me what to do in that moment?
Speaker 3: I think we do it. I rage cleaner too, so
Speaker 3: nothing like I mean.
Speaker 1: I am folding launder, throw on the football. Well, I
Speaker 1: didn't put this laundry win. I guess it's left for
Speaker 1: me to fault this morning.
Speaker 3: For me, it's always the fork flip in the dishwasher.
Speaker 3: Why are the tongs down? Why are they doing that?
Speaker 3: It will never the cleanliness will.
Speaker 2: Never reach it out. They're down.
Speaker 3: They put My family loves to put the forks all down.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's cut through the other way. If you put
Speaker 1: the tongues up, if you put the forks up, so
Speaker 1: my thing it's like, but I usually lay them on
Speaker 1: the top, so I've got like a thing on the
Speaker 1: top and then you like, I play them very precisely.
Speaker 2: This is definitely not what I stress about.
Speaker 3: Well, I think it's for me. I'll just grab control
Speaker 3: and so that's all it is. It's the fork flipping
Speaker 3: has nothing to do with the grand scheme of things
Speaker 3: at all.
Speaker 2: I will say, a knife up will drive me crazy
Speaker 2: because I almost kill Yeah, my kids do the dishes,
Speaker 2: the older ones, they mostly do the dishes, so it's
Speaker 2: always wrong. So y'all would die. But I'm just like whatever,
Speaker 2: But like, my house is a disaster.
Speaker 3: But you're so cold.
Speaker 2: I am.
Speaker 1: I told you, Remember we talked about this, like I'm fine.
Speaker 1: Amy's like the mess. You know, remember that the mess
Speaker 1: will not be there. So I've really embraced it. I
Speaker 1: know now why when I explain.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if I'm overwhelmed about other things, so that's won't
Speaker 2: be my first. My first will be I'm overwhelmed about
Speaker 2: the kids of this, this, this, and this, and then
Speaker 2: I'll come home to the house dirty and then it
Speaker 2: may throw me over the edge, like I didn't give
Speaker 2: a crap the you know, the week before that it
Speaker 2: was a mess. But I will. But I think being overwhelmed,
Speaker 2: I think that's normal. I get like when you're overwhelmed,
Speaker 2: like that's when people get Now, we can't control our
Speaker 2: response to it and how we act, I've been told,
Speaker 2: but I'm not really good at that either.
Speaker 1: I think what I might struggle with is when I
Speaker 1: come back from the movie, I don't want to because
Speaker 1: this has happened before. I don't want to come home
Speaker 1: to a big Powell laundry, right, So I have to
Speaker 1: find a way to say something.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just ask.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's so hard for me, you know.
Speaker 2: But the being it is worse. Yeah, yeah, I mean
Speaker 2: it really is. It really is, because you're going to
Speaker 2: be let down.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 2: I'm the laundry person at my house. So I will
Speaker 2: one hundred I mean, Nick will do it if it's there,
Speaker 2: like I will one hundred percent come back to laundry.
Speaker 2: But he does the dishes when the kids don't sure
Speaker 2: ninety nine percent of the time. He does a lot
Speaker 2: of other stuff. But the laundry will always be there
Speaker 2: when I get back. But if I asked he would
Speaker 2: do it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I will have to have to
Speaker 1: figure out how to control when you're out of control,
Speaker 1: how to control yourself.
Speaker 3: Well, I think too, in those moments, we're not only
Speaker 3: looking for control, but probably a little efficiency, which if
Speaker 3: things were done, then it makes it easier for you
Speaker 3: to prep yourself and get yourself out of here, you
Speaker 3: know where things are. That's at least my usual frustration.
Speaker 3: Like even this morning, this is not what I wanted
Speaker 3: to wear. I could not find the sweat I couldn't
Speaker 3: find my sweatpants, and I just was like, you know,
Speaker 3: you're like yeah, and it can't be my fault what
Speaker 3: you know in that moment, it just has to be
Speaker 3: that no one is helpful the truth we do y.
Speaker 2: I just think it comes down to expectations too. You know,
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, you're bombed or you're
Speaker 2: upset because your expectation was for someone else to help
Speaker 2: pick up the load, even though they didn't know that
Speaker 2: was your expectation, right, or he didn't know, or the
Speaker 2: kids didn't know, and that.
Speaker 1: Is like there was no that'll be for when when
Speaker 1: you get back, when I get back. This was more
Speaker 1: just like I just feel like I got I have to.
Speaker 1: I'm going to have to do all the work that
Speaker 1: I've done with Amy about embracing the mess and all
Speaker 1: that stuff and not letting it stress. Because I've done
Speaker 1: such a good job, truly, I've like one eighty that.
Speaker 1: But now I know where I still struggle is when
Speaker 1: I'm wildly stressed and overwhelmed and feel like I've got
Speaker 1: all these things to do, and then I look around
Speaker 1: and go, is anyone right right? Is anyone out there?
Speaker 2: Never raft I felt it this aggressive comin looking up
Speaker 2: what I'm putting down.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 3: I also sometimes just wonder what it's like to be
Speaker 3: my husband in these moments because I feel terrible for
Speaker 3: him and the moments.
Speaker 1: Because he's going so I feel because like he's so good,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Yeah, so helpful, so so
Speaker 1: so so so helpful. It's almost like he knows I
Speaker 1: just need to like have my freak out and then
Speaker 1: I'm like, I love you. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3: Preston called it, he calls it my shell. I go
Speaker 3: into my shell, he said. I went into my Easter shell,
Speaker 3: he told me on Easter. But even this morning, like
Speaker 3: he's you know, he is just so excited to put
Speaker 3: a new grip on Legend's bat. And so there he
Speaker 3: is just putting a grip on Legend's bat, and I'm
Speaker 3: making free breakfast. And he he has a right today,
Speaker 3: so he's just thinking about that, you know, and putting
Speaker 3: a grip on his bat, and I'm just over there
Speaker 3: trying to make a shake so that I don't starve today,
Speaker 3: and like, you know, just preemptively, you know, whatever it is.
Speaker 3: It just and I thought, I want to He has
Speaker 3: so much stress and I feel like he handles it
Speaker 3: so much better than me. He has the weight of
Speaker 3: the world on his shoulders currently, and and you wouldn't
Speaker 3: know that. So why am I spirally? I don't know.
Speaker 1: Somebody has to be sure. There's one in every couple. Catherine.
Speaker 1: You came in saying you've got a lot to talk about.
Speaker 2: Oh, not on here. Oh listen. I actually said, they're
Speaker 2: not going to come out of my mouth. Oh I do.
Speaker 2: You don't want to hear that things that don't need
Speaker 2: to come out of my mouth? Because it was it
Speaker 2: was not it was not nice. Well that's not mean,
Speaker 2: but like I felt like it was better to keep
Speaker 2: to myself.
Speaker 1: Normally, a mean person.
Speaker 2: It wasn't mean, but it wasn't you. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 2: it wasn't It was what you were talking about earlier.
Speaker 2: And I just had a comment and then I was like,
Speaker 2: you don't want to keep that comment to myself. I'm
Speaker 2: going to be better. Sorry, really here.
Speaker 1: No, that's that's good. I mean I've lere my lesson
Speaker 1: keeping my comments.
Speaker 2: To my comments to myself.
Speaker 1: It's fine. What else is going on, guys?
Speaker 3: I would like to tell you about a Costco experience
Speaker 3: I had about I don't know what it is. Put
Speaker 3: it where you want to feeling really sad? Okay, I'll
Speaker 3: go with mine about it. I know I'm getting older, Okay.
Speaker 3: One of my very friends actually at home, her son
Speaker 3: is now engaged. Okay, Okay, she's hot, and she's like,
Speaker 3: just you know, forties forty three maybe, ok wow, right,
Speaker 3: because a lot of times in my hometown it was
Speaker 3: prom engagement babies, right, So I think that because I'm
Speaker 3: forty three with a toddler, I sometimes just don't register
Speaker 3: that there's people that will potentially be like being a
Speaker 3: mother of the bride right now.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 3: So I'm in Costco. I left y' all last week
Speaker 3: and I had to go do the daddy daughter dance shopping.
Speaker 3: So I go to Costco and guys, this, I'm not
Speaker 3: even gonna say I'm in denial about getting older, because
Speaker 3: maybe I am. Maybe I am, because this moment really
Speaker 3: was like a bullet. Did they give you like an
Speaker 3: ARP card?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 1: He says, Sweet Steve is at Costco. Oh, sweet at Costco.
Speaker 3: Remind me he's a checkuck. He's assisting the checkout guy. Yeah,
Speaker 3: And I think Sharon could sense what was happening and
Speaker 3: she could not get the train back on the track
Speaker 3: past enough. And so he says to me, are you
Speaker 3: Meghan's mom? And I said I'm not. I'm not Megan's mom.
Speaker 3: And he said, you look just like Megan. She works
Speaker 3: in produce. Megan's old enough to have a job and
Speaker 3: be filing taxes. And he goes and I can tell
Speaker 3: that Sharon is screwing. She's like she did not get
Speaker 3: the mom. You know, that's not Megan's mom. And I'm
Speaker 3: like no, And so I say, because I'm just trying
Speaker 3: to save myself, I go, is Megan really kind?
Speaker 2: I hope she's really cool.
Speaker 3: Oh, she's kind and she's so cute. And I was
Speaker 3: like okay, and then Sharon keeps saying, well, you know
Speaker 3: that's not Megan's mom because that she doesn't look like
Speaker 3: she doesn't look like Bob's wife. Come on now, And
Speaker 3: I'm like, what is happening that I, at forty three
Speaker 3: will go home and have a toddler on my hip.
Speaker 3: But I could also be Meghan who works in his
Speaker 3: mom It really hit me.
Speaker 1: Like I have a really funny story that's very similar
Speaker 1: to that that happened to me last night.
Speaker 2: Let me can I ask a question real fast? Did
Speaker 2: we know before this happened Steve's name, Sharon's name, and
Speaker 2: Meghan was yeah, mean.
Speaker 3: No, but I can assume that Meghan is old enough
Speaker 3: to drive herself to work.
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 1: It a high school.
Speaker 2: I think you literally were like, oh Meghan from.
Speaker 1: Pro because Catherine has to remind me, because I was
Speaker 1: quite sad that I was had a sixteen year old
Speaker 1: daughter in my movie.
Speaker 3: And she's like hey, and I was like, that's right.
Speaker 3: People started young.
Speaker 2: Yeah they did well even then. I was still only
Speaker 2: twenty five, so like I was young, but like people
Speaker 2: start way younger than that, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Right? I did feel quite old speaking to that because
Speaker 1: my buddy, Shane West, I'm going to drop that name.
Speaker 1: So he texted me, you know, the he was the
Speaker 1: heart throb from A Walk to Remember. So we're buddies.
Speaker 1: He's he lives in Nashville, and so we've been sending
Speaker 1: scripts kind of back and forth, and he sent me
Speaker 1: a script last night. He's like, hey, you'd be perfect
Speaker 1: for this role. So I'm reading the script and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is awesome. Well she just got a twenty five
Speaker 1: year old though, and I'm like, I don't think I
Speaker 1: have that kids On the one, Yeah, I was like,
Speaker 1: I said forties, and I'm like, well, I am forties,
Speaker 1: so that's fine.
Speaker 2: But forties and forty one are very Yeah, they can
Speaker 2: be very different.
Speaker 1: That kind of hurt my heart a little bit.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And the thing is is, I'm not like, a.
Speaker 1: I love being forty though I did say last episode,
Speaker 1: but I again, I do love being forty.
Speaker 3: I think it's weird. I think maybe because I had
Speaker 3: a baby at forty one, like I have a toddler
Speaker 3: at forty three. That's like a I think it almost
Speaker 3: tricks me or something. And because truthfully, a lot of
Speaker 3: our friend case in point, like a lot of us
Speaker 3: have had babies later, so I don't know it just
Speaker 3: really I was, I know I'm getting older. I love
Speaker 3: the forties a lot. Actually very empowering, gaid for me
Speaker 3: so far, but like just really I thought, okay, wow,
Speaker 3: I could would be Megan's Megan from Produce?
Speaker 2: Was Megan really from Produce or did you make that?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: She is, and I hope she's adorable. I mean what
Speaker 3: I wanted to.
Speaker 2: Say, is she gonna go find her? This is Megan.
Speaker 3: Just avoid all contests, say I hate kick Guard Pasco.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, so we're actually going to go to
Speaker 1: wine about it now. Even though I feel like our
Speaker 1: host chat was a continuous.
Speaker 2: I feel like that happens every week. Wait it doesn't.
Speaker 3: No, No, Megan loves her best life. I just wanted
Speaker 3: anybody got one?
Speaker 2: No, you do?
Speaker 1: I know I do have one.
Speaker 2: I was.
Speaker 1: I posted something yesterday on my page about I was
Speaker 1: sitting out so so so Jace had a baseball game,
Speaker 1: Alan had his clinic, and so Jace said, you know,
Speaker 1: can I play for another you know fifteen some the mints.
Speaker 1: I said, sure, I'm gonna be up in my office.
Speaker 1: Well in my office, I have got a nice little
Speaker 1: balcony and I like to watch a sunset at night,
Speaker 1: and so jolly, same thing. Like she was kind of
Speaker 1: getting ready for bed. Well, so I was like, hey, guys,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna be in my office. So she comes out.
Speaker 1: She's so sweet. She brings her little Bible and her
Speaker 1: little daily devotional thing. Didn't ask her to do that,
Speaker 1: and she just came out and sat in the chair
Speaker 1: next to me. She's like, can I sit here? I'm like,
Speaker 1: of course, like anytime. So we're sitting there. She's just
Speaker 1: like reading her little devotional and then picks up the
Speaker 1: Bible and then you know, she was showing me He's like,
Speaker 1: no lift, bring in here and fifty years like so
Speaker 1: we're like just like chatting. I'm like I didn't know that,
Speaker 1: but it's good. And so just like really enjoying the moment, right,
Speaker 1: And so I'm like, man, this is such a peaceful moment.
Speaker 1: We're you know, also quiet, listening to the birds, and
Speaker 1: it's just like a beautiful thing. And what a beautiful
Speaker 1: moment to feel that just peace because I felt like
Speaker 1: so long I've just dealt with stress and anxiety and
Speaker 1: worry and all all, you know, and past relationships are
Speaker 1: single whatever, And so I post just saying like, hey,
Speaker 1: if anyone's in the trenches right now, let go of
Speaker 1: what's holding your piece captive. And then I get someone
Speaker 1: that is someone that comments back, being like, oh, easy
Speaker 1: for you to day in your big ass house, and
Speaker 1: I just wanted to say so I wrote back, and
Speaker 1: I was like, it's actually is not about I was
Speaker 1: talking about like relationships and love and life and my
Speaker 1: thing with I guess my wine about it is it's
Speaker 1: not even that people say mean comments. It's not about
Speaker 1: that they're struggling with something that they're obviously dealing with
Speaker 1: a lack of peace maybe in their life. I don't know.
Speaker 1: But my thing is my wine about it is that
Speaker 1: you don't for me, My piece has never come from
Speaker 1: a material object ever, like ever, no matter how big
Speaker 1: of a house I'll ever have and do I like
Speaker 1: my card no, but like, no matter if I've got
Speaker 1: my dream g wagon or any I mean you guys,
Speaker 1: I shop at Amazon, you know what I mean, Like,
Speaker 1: I'm not like that, but to buy expensive clothes like
Speaker 1: that's not going to ever Like things will never give
Speaker 1: me peace.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna give any one piece.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and so I just I guess my wine about
Speaker 1: it is that it just it bothers me that people
Speaker 1: think that that's what's imp that that is what will
Speaker 1: give people piece.
Speaker 2: I think people are just looking for something negative. I
Speaker 2: don't think that they're necessarily like yeah, I mean, and
Speaker 2: maybe maybe there definitely are people out there that they're like, Man,
Speaker 2: if I just had a bigger house, I'd be happy.
Speaker 2: If I just had more money, I'd be happy. I
Speaker 2: do think that there are people that feel that way.
Speaker 2: But in that moment, I think someone's just looking for
Speaker 2: something negative.
Speaker 1: But also like I work my ass off to have
Speaker 1: a nice house. I've worked my like tailoff, not saying
Speaker 1: other people don't work, they're butt off, but also like
Speaker 1: I have grind it, I continue to grind. I'm about
Speaker 1: to go, you know, miss really important things that i'd
Speaker 1: love to see at the kids' school, and you know,
Speaker 1: games to go work my ass off to provide for
Speaker 1: my family. So we you know, and I again, I
Speaker 1: grew up. I had to quit figure skating because my
Speaker 1: mom couldn't afford lessons. And I understand people have to
Speaker 1: a single moms, you know, they can't afford certain things.
Speaker 1: And I feel for them because I but also I
Speaker 1: want I've always worked my butt off so my kids
Speaker 1: don't have.
Speaker 3: To quit a sport that they love, right, you.
Speaker 2: Know, Yeah, I mean I just think I think that, yes, agreed,
Speaker 2: And I think everyone works their you know, asses off,
Speaker 2: and you know, and some people have smaller homes, some
Speaker 2: people have bigger homes. Some people have nicer cars. People
Speaker 2: don't have, you know. And it's interesting because like my
Speaker 2: kids always talk about like, oh, they're rich, they're rich.
Speaker 2: I'm like, why, yeah, why do you think they're rich.
Speaker 2: We'll look at that car, that doesn't mean they're rich.
Speaker 2: Why does that make them rich?
Speaker 1: It's weird.
Speaker 2: Look at that house that doesn't make them rich.
Speaker 3: When I was little, I would have been the rich kid.
Speaker 3: I was not the rich kid.
Speaker 1: I never know.
Speaker 3: I mean like now looking at my like right, like
Speaker 3: we were not we were not I mean renting, I mean,
Speaker 3: we were never honestly, like just so many things that
Speaker 3: I could say, but I'm trying to like, but if
Speaker 3: you like, I would consider myself to be the rich
Speaker 3: kid now. And that's not anything in our orbit here,
Speaker 3: like you know what I mean, Like we're not like
Speaker 3: our house is really beautiful it's the nicest house I've
Speaker 3: ever lived in, a nicer than anything I thought i'd
Speaker 3: live in. And also we've been there for nine years
Speaker 3: and we don't want to leave because our mortgage is
Speaker 3: low and we have a two point one interest rate,
Speaker 3: you know. So, like, I think it's interesting people's perception
Speaker 3: of our lives or that they automatically go to financial piece.
Speaker 3: Like I still like, yes, I have money in the bank,
Speaker 3: I'm not in the red, and I can I can
Speaker 3: understand people would want well, once I got out of
Speaker 3: the red, yes, I had some financial piece, but I'm
Speaker 3: never really a piece with that because you just never
Speaker 3: know it'especially especially in my line of work. So it's like,
Speaker 3: but that's not the first thing that people should like.
Speaker 3: I mean, but I guess again, people that are struggling
Speaker 3: to buy groceries and all this. I emphasize it because
Speaker 3: I get it. I used to steal toilet paper from
Speaker 3: my fucking work, you know what I mean, Like I
Speaker 3: understand being in the nave, so but also like, but
Speaker 3: also the money free is not exactly but the money
Speaker 3: for me is never going to give me peace, right
Speaker 3: because I come from the negative, had to quit things,
Speaker 3: didn't have the money growing up eight literally just broccoli
Speaker 3: for dinner, you know what I mean, re frozen tiketos
Speaker 3: for a year straight. Yeah, So I do think people's
Speaker 3: perception is probably a lot of the Yeah, people just
Speaker 3: don't know. Yeah, Like Preston and I both are scarcity
Speaker 3: mentality when it comes to that, and I've had to
Speaker 3: like work my butt off to get myself out of
Speaker 3: that feeling. But still even now I'm hustling on the side,
Speaker 3: you know, like I just can't. And he's the same way.
Speaker 3: He's a preacher's kid, so he's just assumes.
Speaker 2: They're well, I think you are going to be hustling
Speaker 2: no matter what.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, peace from within is rich in life, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, for sure, like that is. And I
Speaker 1: like what a glorious feeling to be able to leave
Speaker 1: for my movie and not worry about my husband cheating
Speaker 1: on me or stressing about like I get to actually
Speaker 1: go do my work and not stress about someone cheating
Speaker 1: on me because that's what the stress I always had,
Speaker 1: and like it would happen. It happened on a set,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like when I was somewhere.
Speaker 1: So it's like to be able to like just feel
Speaker 1: peace and like, oh, like I don't have to I
Speaker 1: don't have to stress about that. That's really what I was,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 2: Well, And I think that that shows that in that moment,
Speaker 2: what you were posting about with your piece is what
Speaker 2: your experience is and what has felt you like you
Speaker 2: don't have peace. So maybe that person responding that's what
Speaker 2: makes them feel like they don't have peace is because
Speaker 2: they don't have enough money in the bank or they
Speaker 2: don't have the house that they want, so they go
Speaker 2: to an assumption, Yeah, that that's what you're talking about,
Speaker 2: Like that has nothing to do with it.
Speaker 3: Literally, I think it's about being like a well human
Speaker 3: because I honestly a friend of mine, Melissa, who's worked
Speaker 3: her ass often build a business here in Nashville, and
Speaker 3: I'm really proud of her. She owns a salon here
Speaker 3: and has grown her business exponentially. And she posted about
Speaker 3: this house right and it's stunning she's building and it
Speaker 3: is gorgeous, no detail is left, like it is magic.
Speaker 3: And she had this moment she sat on her stairs.
Speaker 3: This is a couple weeks ago, and I never scroll, really,
Speaker 3: but I do love Melissa, so it was to me
Speaker 3: divine intervention that I saw it happen, and so she
Speaker 3: does this story. She just sat on her stairs and
Speaker 3: she got really tearful and she was like, I didn't
Speaker 3: have money, we didn't eat, we didn't like you see
Speaker 3: the shiny parts of me flying out with Carrie Underwood
Speaker 3: and you see this and you see that. And she
Speaker 3: was like, but that's not like I just want to
Speaker 3: tell you to keep going. And it was the most
Speaker 3: heartfelt thing. But I'm not. I'm watching her to be inspired,
Speaker 3: not to be hateful, and I think that is just
Speaker 3: it's a heart posture for a lot of people too.
Speaker 2: Yeah. That actually brings up something that it did happen
Speaker 2: that I'll whine about if we're done with it. It's
Speaker 2: very similar. I actually wasn't going to talk about this,
Speaker 2: but here we go. This is similar. So the other
Speaker 2: day and if y'all saw it, I don't really because Okay,
Speaker 2: I posted something and it was insensitive of me. It definitely, Yeah.
Speaker 1: I did you delete it?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I did.
Speaker 1: It almost texted you and said there's I'm sure you're
Speaker 1: going to get I did.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So here's my thing. It was very new and
Speaker 2: I was, yes, I'm in it. The opposite way of
Speaker 2: what it was meant, but it came across as I
Speaker 2: don't even want to say what I said because at
Speaker 2: this point I'm not happy with what I did. Right, okay,
Speaker 2: but my wine about it is not that I received. Hey,
Speaker 2: this may come across not the right way, maybe you
Speaker 2: should take it down. It came you're an asshole, you're
Speaker 2: a terrible human, you are all the things. And to
Speaker 2: each person that sent that, there was probably five, I
Speaker 2: copied and pasted and I was like, you're right, I'm
Speaker 2: so sorry. I deleted it. That was not my intention,
Speaker 2: but I absolutely see where that came across that way.
Speaker 2: But you know the one that was like, you're an asshole?
Speaker 2: And I was like, what makes you better than me? Like,
Speaker 2: what makes you better than me making a mistake that
Speaker 2: I did not? That was not my intention for you
Speaker 2: calling me an asshole like I don't understand, like a
Speaker 2: terrible human like and then I coming to your you
Speaker 2: always say gracious assumption, like I understand they don't know me.
Speaker 2: These people do not know me. There wasn't anyone I
Speaker 2: knew that responded to me. Not one person.
Speaker 1: That from thed this. Sorry they didn't respond from you
Speaker 1: responding to them, like, no.
Speaker 2: One that responded to me actually knows me. Right, there
Speaker 2: were only people that don't know me, So I get that.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: Maybe the people that did see it, there was gracious
Speaker 2: assumption that I didn't mean it in that way, and
Speaker 2: they didn't take it, you know, they didn't take it
Speaker 2: as badly as some of the other people did. Again,
Speaker 2: I welcomed the hey, you need to take this down.
Speaker 2: There was a few people that said that and said,
Speaker 2: you're so right. I took it down. Should have never
Speaker 2: said that. But the ones that just attacked me back,
Speaker 2: I'm like, you're no better than me, you know what
Speaker 2: I mean, Like we all make mistakes. I made a
Speaker 2: mistake and I shouldn't have said what I said, but like,
Speaker 2: you're not better than me. And I was just so
Speaker 2: frustrated and so like I was disappointed in myself because
Speaker 2: I truly did not Obviously I wouldn't have posted it
Speaker 2: if I thought that I was being insensitive, I wouldn't
Speaker 2: have I don't know what I was thinking. It was
Speaker 2: a quick whatever, I really and so I don't even
Speaker 2: want to talk about it. I won't even give it
Speaker 2: a whole lot of light because I don't want other
Speaker 2: people attacking me, but like I just really frustrated me
Speaker 2: because I was like, there's no gracious assumption that hey,
Speaker 2: maybe she's not a terrible person. She made a mistake
Speaker 2: and let me just like give her like a little hey,
Speaker 2: maybe you want to take that down.
Speaker 3: Well, I also think we are all I actually had this.
Speaker 3: I was dming with a mom last night who listens
Speaker 3: to the podcast podcast, and she was so thankful for
Speaker 3: the way that we openly share and all of the
Speaker 3: things that we say on here, and I said, I'm
Speaker 3: really grateful for hearts like yours because we come on
Speaker 3: here and we just you guys, there are times and
Speaker 3: I mean this, like literally, I forget that we're recording
Speaker 3: because we're just like talking like friends, and so there
Speaker 3: is we are just being honest and we're just being people.
Speaker 3: And it's like I think sometimes people just forget like
Speaker 3: we're also just moms and humans and lives and.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I own my mistake, like I So.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing, though, I don't like you're getting You're
Speaker 1: going so hard on yourself. So I knew exactly what
Speaker 1: you meant, yeah, when And the truth is is like
Speaker 1: you you don't see from that lens.
Speaker 2: That's my thing. I was like, I didn't even think
Speaker 2: about it that way.
Speaker 1: Right, you don't ever you don't look at people going
Speaker 1: that skinny, right, you don't, you don't. It was basically
Speaker 1: I was body shaming, but she like, they're bigger, Like,
Speaker 1: it's not, it's not weight bigger. It was they're just
Speaker 1: like I.
Speaker 2: And and truthfully, basically, I'll just go ahead and say
Speaker 2: it's not whatever. Ramsey's team was playing another team and.
Speaker 1: They an older team. Sometimes they play older, but no,
Speaker 1: they looked.
Speaker 2: A lot older. Yeah, okay, Ramsey is you know, she
Speaker 2: was catching and she just looked really I don't want
Speaker 2: to get attacked again for saying it, but she was
Speaker 2: just really be.
Speaker 1: Size though she's small, but I'm saying she's also short
Speaker 1: or so. But I was watching what I said, I
Speaker 1: was watching Maria's I was watching Maria's team yesterday because
Speaker 1: they were right next to Jason's team, and I said,
Speaker 1: is this an older age group because sometimes they play
Speaker 1: up older age I'm like, these girls look so much bigger.
Speaker 1: And I don't mean yes, wide, I mean taller. But
Speaker 1: I said, so I saw what when I was like,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, I know where people are
Speaker 1: going to take it. But I knew what you meant.
Speaker 2: Right, right, right, and so again it was insensitive of me.
Speaker 2: I was not looking at that other child in any
Speaker 2: negative light whatsoever.
Speaker 3: Kat, that's just not your.
Speaker 1: And they coming from that's not we don't for any
Speaker 1: of us, like we don't know, we don't say like
Speaker 1: even Jolie when someonehen she was learning what I was like, No,
Speaker 1: we don't say fat like we was.
Speaker 2: You know, that sweet child was not fat, and I
Speaker 2: didn't call her fat. It's just was my little like
Speaker 2: you looked younger than everybody, you know, and so that
Speaker 2: was kind of just my point because she's like over
Speaker 2: here like this little catcher, you know whatever. Either way,
Speaker 2: it was not right of me, and I shouldn't have
Speaker 2: done it.
Speaker 1: However, when you learn small I have a book that
Speaker 1: I'm reading to Jase right now. Small big, Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: I was thinking height. That is what I'm saying. So like,
Speaker 1: but their people are going to people. People don't pole
Speaker 1: took the wrong assumption. I meant right, And that's where
Speaker 1: people and I'm like, that is that's awesome. You're going
Speaker 1: straight to the negative. So just like what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: people look at it and go straight to the negative.
Speaker 1: It's like that is not now we can totally see understand,
Speaker 1: which is why in this like yeah, take it down
Speaker 1: because it's so fine. Absolutely, but of course why would
Speaker 1: why would you think someone is going to say something
Speaker 1: like that about a kid. It's literally Roman in this
Speaker 1: book small big tall fall, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Tall like whatever, like yeah, And that's what made me
Speaker 2: think about it because I wasn't going to talk about
Speaker 2: it because I was just like, you know, I'm not
Speaker 2: proud of it. But that's what made me think about it.
Speaker 2: It's like the but you weren't out of it.
Speaker 1: It's like you didn't look at it and that lens
Speaker 1: because you're not looking at a negative lens. And then
Speaker 1: you're saying you're not proud, like oh like that that
Speaker 1: was Ah, you didn't look from a full maybe left,
Speaker 1: I think, but that's not your like.
Speaker 2: Right, I mean I think it's looking at the intention.
Speaker 2: And again there were a few people that responded those
Speaker 2: like Okay, I appreciate it. It was slightly nice, like you
Speaker 2: should take this down, and like one or two people
Speaker 2: were like thank you. No one person was like thank you.
Speaker 2: I really appreciate it. But the other ones, you know,
Speaker 2: it was like, you know, to the one that called
Speaker 2: me an asshole, I was like, I you know, did
Speaker 2: the same. Yes, I'll take it down. You're right, I
Speaker 2: take it down. Blah blah blah. I'm like, but I
Speaker 2: do not understand what makes you any better than me?
Speaker 1: Did she respond?
Speaker 2: She goes, I just call it like I see it.
Speaker 1: And I said, okay, and that's it.
Speaker 3: But it's wild to me that she she's blocked on
Speaker 3: my phone.
Speaker 2: Well, and then, you know, none of them actually follow me.
Speaker 1: Oh of course not. Well the one that said it's
Speaker 1: on mind too does not.
Speaker 2: Vo I was like, so you just came here looking clearly.
Speaker 2: One person saw it, told other people and they came
Speaker 2: to find it because I'm like, y'all don't even follow me,
Speaker 2: So why are you even again?
Speaker 1: I think it's just so the thing with this is
Speaker 1: we don't do things perfectly right sometimes we and we're not.
Speaker 1: Don't look at this is that my couples therapist said
Speaker 1: this too. Don't look at the person straight as the enemy,
Speaker 1: you know, and don't look at it straight as negative, right,
Speaker 1: So don't have the think that they have ill intention.
Speaker 1: You did not have ill intention. I didn't have ill
Speaker 1: intention with my with my post. Why do don't the
Speaker 1: person that goes to comment, first of all, why but
Speaker 1: also if you want to like, don't go at it
Speaker 1: you're an asshole, don't go at it so negative. Assume
Speaker 1: that someone is coming from a good place and not
Speaker 1: the enemy, and then have a great conversation. You could
Speaker 1: a great conversation. Then you saw, Oh, you're right, that
Speaker 1: looks insensitive. I'm going to take it down. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: doesn't make you a bad person. Yeah, Oh, I actually
Speaker 1: was kind of like, were you okay?
Speaker 2: Like yeah, I mean, because again, if I saw something
Speaker 2: like that, I just I cannot imagine doesn't make me
Speaker 2: any better than anyone. But I cannot imagine ever calling
Speaker 2: someone an asshole or a terrible person. Or but if
Speaker 2: I it's like, hey, maybe if I was so worried
Speaker 2: for that person, you know, hey, you might want to
Speaker 2: take this down. Totally understand. I just I can't imagine
Speaker 2: coming that negative of a.
Speaker 3: Place because there's literally a way to say everything.
Speaker 2: You can't tell anyone anything I.
Speaker 3: Mean, or even just in a different way, it can
Speaker 3: still be like assertive and not be horrible.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like That's what I struggle with.
Speaker 3: I'm like, there's literally a way to say everything, And
Speaker 3: even for me spiraling about a dishwasher, there's always a
Speaker 3: way I can say it to my family Totally, I
Speaker 3: could have.
Speaker 1: There's no point of me saying anything that's like at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, like thank you for putting
Speaker 1: the dishes in the dishwasher. If I have a frickin
Speaker 1: issue of why it's not loaded, right, let me just
Speaker 1: change it. But I don't need to be.
Speaker 3: Passive right right right, you know, but like if you
Speaker 3: wanted to, you could say something and everyone would understand, right.
Speaker 1: Like, guys, this actually bothers me. Could we just maybe
Speaker 1: work to try to put the bulls here? Because that
Speaker 1: would really help mommy out easy done? Why? Why?
Speaker 2: Yeah? But also like we're all still learning. Like I
Speaker 2: know we're forty, and I know that sounds stupid, but
Speaker 2: like we're all humans and we're all gonna make mistakes
Speaker 2: and we're all still learning. Like and you know that
Speaker 2: taught me something that day, Yeah, to think past what
Speaker 2: I'm thinking and to look at the bigger picture and
Speaker 2: what other people could perceive this as.
Speaker 1: Like I mean saying we're coming up by my year
Speaker 1: anniversary of doing that same thing, so mean, you know,
Speaker 1: being more mindful what you say because people you know
Speaker 1: you heard, Yeah it's not nice.
Speaker 3: Sure right, even though you don't mean to be that way. Anyways,
Speaker 3: that was a good wine. I'm really proud of you, though,
Speaker 3: oh wow, thanks. I was not my proudest moment. But
Speaker 3: that's okay. But it's also I don't like the shame
Speaker 3: that we carry about it because I do feel like
Speaker 3: it's like we're just being human in oops, you made
Speaker 3: a mistake, like you know what I mean. Yeah, also
Speaker 3: like and I'm not but that stuff hurts me, like
Speaker 3: that stuff will throw my whole.
Speaker 2: So normally will And I literally after I got those
Speaker 2: and I responded, I was like, I'm letting this go.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna work. My intention was not bad, like
Speaker 2: if I had a bad intention, and I really felt
Speaker 2: like really really guilty about like, okay, that was not kind,
Speaker 2: you know, but I was like, there was no bad
Speaker 2: intention here. I'm letting this one go, and like no
Speaker 2: one's going to tell me I'm an asshole or a
Speaker 2: bad person because I know I am not.
Speaker 3: With Asagia four walls, what's the truth inside of four walls. Yep.
Speaker 1: Elizabeth Hurley debuts her new relationship with Billy Ray Cyrus
Speaker 1: Happy Easter. So apparently they're the newest celebrity couple we
Speaker 1: did not see coming. Hurley fifty nine. Cyrus sixty three
Speaker 1: captioned a joint Instagram photo kissing Hurley during a visit
Speaker 1: to a farm. And I have to tell you when
Speaker 1: this headline was sent to us in our group wind down,
Speaker 1: Oh boy, I've always wondered who the people were that
Speaker 1: would zoom in damn on a photo, because there's so
Speaker 1: many times when I'm like, gosh, alan they noticed this,
Speaker 1: and I'm like a lot of people zoom who zooms
Speaker 1: in a freaking photo? Well, you know what our best
Speaker 1: friend here on the couch, dearest listeners, Kristin Brust, would
Speaker 1: you like to explain yourself? I was like, no way,
Speaker 1: are you the my like someone who zooms in.
Speaker 2: Zoom in on some photos? Really to look if there's
Speaker 2: a certain things Easter.
Speaker 1: Eggs, like you know, like Easter eggs, like little like
Speaker 1: you know, clothes yep, Well what did you what did
Speaker 1: you see on the finger? Well?
Speaker 3: I felt like I saw. I feel like I'm pot story.
Speaker 3: I I really want to defend myself here.
Speaker 2: I felt like, oh, I think this was a fair one.
Speaker 2: By the way, I feel like her.
Speaker 3: Ring finger looked a little off it did. It looked
Speaker 3: photoshopped a bit, and so I sent back in what
Speaker 3: I thought was the trust.
Speaker 1: Tree zoomed. There's no trust. She zoomed in on the photo.
Speaker 3: I said, zoom in. I think that we have a
Speaker 3: secret engagement. It feels like something she has covered her finger.
Speaker 2: I never mind, I'll just do it for you because
Speaker 2: I hadn't looked at it yet. So that was all Ulah.
Speaker 2: I mean, something's not right.
Speaker 1: With Maybe they're engaged. Breaking news here on wind Out.
Speaker 1: Oh god, Chris Christien sees a messed up photoshop on
Speaker 1: our ring finger.
Speaker 3: I did see it, you guys. I couldn't help but
Speaker 3: see it. What do I think of the relationship. I like,
Speaker 3: I didn't see that one coming. But so cute, so cute,
Speaker 3: you guys. Preston's obsessed with this. He keeps going, you guys,
Speaker 3: and it's very good looking. There's they seem happy, like.
Speaker 3: I think it's funny because we all have been around
Speaker 3: enough celebrities at this point. Everyone on these couches, we've
Speaker 3: been around enough that I don't know that I get
Speaker 3: superstarstruck mins Jresca Simpson, but even stuff. So it's funny
Speaker 3: to me when someone like my husband is like Billy Ray,
Speaker 3: can you believe it? Because he's friends with him enough,
Speaker 3: and he's like Elizabeth Hurley like he can't. He goes,
Speaker 3: we are driving around on our buggy last night, sunset
Speaker 3: hunting and he goes, you believe it, baby, just over
Speaker 3: that ridge right there. Elizabeth Hurley is probably Billy Rays also,
Speaker 3: And I was like, what is happening in my life?
Speaker 2: I think, Yeah, I think they're cute guys.
Speaker 3: I love when people find love same and I just
Speaker 3: hope they're happy, I know. And it's so cute with
Speaker 3: the Bunny ears and he's.
Speaker 2: Had a rough couple, you know, a rough go the
Speaker 2: last couple.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I hope that he's same.
Speaker 2: He's good and happy.
Speaker 3: But Francis cause of Death revealed one day after his
Speaker 3: final surprise appearance for Easter thoughts on that it made
Speaker 3: me really sad. I just couldn't believe it kind of
Speaker 3: because he was just there. Yeah, I mean he was,
Speaker 3: which is wild timing, right, I mean.
Speaker 2: Yeah, weird. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I went back and zoomed in. Did she zoom into
Speaker 1: the tomb just to.
Speaker 3: Get a well check on the guy? Well, I just
Speaker 3: was like, that's crazy that he was able to do
Speaker 3: that like the day before and then literally passed the
Speaker 3: next morning.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was watching. It was so sweet. She's like
Speaker 1: Jolie because I sometimes sometimes have the news on in
Speaker 1: the morning. She's like, oh, the Pope died, and she
Speaker 1: was so sad. I was like, well, honey, he lived
Speaker 1: a really long, beautiful life. He helped a lot of people,
Speaker 1: and it was really sweet. But he said, gosh, I
Speaker 1: saw this on the news and he spoke about this
Speaker 1: about technology, because you know, we've obviously talked about technology
Speaker 1: on the show. How I would like for us to
Speaker 1: look less at screens and look each other in the
Speaker 1: eyes more. I just thought that was so sweet. Sometimes
Speaker 1: something's wrong if we spend more time on our cell
Speaker 1: phones than with people. And this was his prayer about
Speaker 1: technology just three weeks before his passing, and yeah, I
Speaker 1: just he goes, It's true. Technology is the fruit of
Speaker 1: the intelligence God gave us, but we need to use
Speaker 1: it well. It can benefit only a few while excluding others.
Speaker 1: He said, unite to use it to unite, not to divide,
Speaker 1: And that just goes to what we're saying in our
Speaker 1: wine about it, where don't go to divide on social media.
Speaker 1: Come to night Whether and listen. There's obviously people that
Speaker 1: listen to show, listen to this show just to hate
Speaker 1: on us, and why you know, just a if you
Speaker 1: don't like us, don't listen, Yeah, and be try to
Speaker 1: see from a different light. And if not, let's talk
Speaker 1: to us about like you know, like you don't know,
Speaker 1: like when you said, like why why you know.
Speaker 2: Send us a message. If there's something you don't like,
Speaker 2: let's talk about it.
Speaker 1: I mean, let's get a hater online listeners. But I
Speaker 1: also go back to the point though too, it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, everyone's gonna gonna love us, and personality types
Speaker 1: just don't mesh sometimes. But you don't need to be rude,
Speaker 1: so you can just hang step away.
Speaker 3: You know, even from saying that I that I megan
Speaker 3: and produce, I'm already already know the messages I'm going
Speaker 3: to get. It's just it's a weird feeling when you yeah,
Speaker 3: it's hard to like we I think we all kind
Speaker 3: of intentionally like walked into this space, like we didn't
Speaker 3: think Cat and I for sure didn't.
Speaker 2: Really walked into this unintentionally.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I didn't think we would be doing this as
Speaker 3: long as we have, and it's been so fun. And
Speaker 3: I would say like it, the greatness of it outweighs
Speaker 3: tiny little turd buggers that slide into your deals.
Speaker 2: But it does.
Speaker 1: But there are moments like when I would like to
Speaker 1: say that we could all be friends. Yeah, we might
Speaker 1: not understand her that we might, they might not like,
Speaker 1: but we can all just.
Speaker 3: You guys, I've got one that hates every single time,
Speaker 3: and I just respond with kindness every single time. And
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm not going to get to this level. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I just walk. Sometimes there's mostly balk. Okay, well you
Speaker 3: have two million high lady. Hi, ladies, get ready for
Speaker 3: a long one. My best friend and I have been
Speaker 3: friends for over twenty years. She decided My best friend
Speaker 3: and I have been friends for over twenty years. She
Speaker 3: decided to divorce her husband after him cheating on her
Speaker 3: multiple times and him just not being a good guy
Speaker 3: or a dad. I was extremely proud of her for
Speaker 3: this and did my best to support her in any
Speaker 3: way I could. She started to date and sleep around,
Speaker 3: which again I supported and told her to just be
Speaker 3: careful and be mindful about introducing guys to her kids.
Speaker 3: She had texted me the one day saying a guy
Speaker 3: we went to school with, who graduated with my husband
Speaker 3: and who worked with my husband recently slid into her
Speaker 3: DMS and asked her out, and she was really excited.
Speaker 3: When I told my husband, he said, please tell her
Speaker 3: it's not a good idea. He's just using her for
Speaker 3: sex and he's abusive. I could tell by the way
Speaker 3: he would talk about other women he's dated. After I
Speaker 3: texted her this, I fell asleep because it was late,
Speaker 3: and when we woke up the next morning, my husband
Speaker 3: had text messages from the guy threatening him, and I
Speaker 3: had a text for my best friend saying that the
Speaker 3: guy said my husband needs to keep his mouth shut
Speaker 3: and a bunch of other business nonsense. I obviously freaked
Speaker 3: out on my best friend because she completely betrayed my
Speaker 3: confidence and screwed my husband over when he was only
Speaker 3: looking out for her. And her response was, I appreciate
Speaker 3: him looking out for me, but he shouldn't say things
Speaker 3: like that about someone unless he has concrete proof. But
Speaker 3: I get your mad, so I'll give you some space.
Speaker 3: We've barely spoken and it's almost six months and we
Speaker 3: never received any type of apology. I'd also like to
Speaker 3: point out during us not talking, I still bought from
Speaker 3: her school swund raiser and dropped off a birthday gift
Speaker 3: for her daughter, but she got nothing for my daughter
Speaker 3: for her birthday. My question is, am I the asshole here?
Speaker 3: Asshole just seems to be a friend on show? Am
Speaker 3: I wrong for being pissed off? I want to reach
Speaker 3: out and talk to her, but I'm still extremely hurt
Speaker 3: and pissed off that she not only betrayed me but
Speaker 3: my husband, and I feel like she really owes him
Speaker 3: an apology. It's just that over twenty years of friendship,
Speaker 3: our daughters were best friends, and I feel like I
Speaker 3: don't even know who she is anymore. Ooh, that's a
Speaker 3: tough one. She's not an asshole. I agree, you're not
Speaker 3: an asshole. No, you're really no.
Speaker 2: I mean she was just looking out for her. But
Speaker 2: by the same token, I don't think that the friend
Speaker 2: necessarily betrayed her in a sense that I feel like
Speaker 2: it would be easy for that person in that position
Speaker 2: to go to the guy and be like, hey, like
Speaker 2: why are these you know, are they saying stuff about
Speaker 2: you with not an intention for him to go then
Speaker 2: and like threaten them and do all that. You see
Speaker 2: what I'm saying, Like, I don't think that the friend's
Speaker 2: intention was to necessarily betray her friend either. I think
Speaker 2: she was just trying to get answers probably and trying
Speaker 2: to figure out like, if I told you something about
Speaker 2: someone you're dating, you're probably going to go to them
Speaker 2: and be like, hey, why is so and so saying
Speaker 2: that you did X Y.
Speaker 1: And you can't get mad at me for saying that,
Speaker 1: because obviously i'd want to know you.
Speaker 2: Can expect, like I would expect if I'm telling you
Speaker 2: something like that, that it's probably going to get back
Speaker 2: to that person.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So I don't think she was an asshole. I think
Speaker 2: she was trying to, you know, look out for her
Speaker 2: friend and that's but sometimes unfortunately, things like this happen
Speaker 2: when you're trying, when you're you know, I think everyone's
Speaker 2: intentions were good, but it kind of went south. Unfortunately.
Speaker 1: Having said that, the guy then sending threatening messages to
Speaker 1: her husband like that just should show the friend, ye
Speaker 1: his character, because if I heard someone say something and
Speaker 1: you know this has happened in the past before. I've
Speaker 1: then gone to the person and said, hey, can we
Speaker 1: talk this out, because I'd love there must be a
Speaker 1: misunderstanding come from it, at least with a place of kindness.
Speaker 1: But for the due to a straight up start threatening
Speaker 1: that kind of does validate what does has been saying.
Speaker 3: Yeah, guys, I'm going to go against a little bit
Speaker 3: what you're saying. Okay, I don't think she should have
Speaker 3: mentioned it to that guy at all. I think there's
Speaker 3: a way to protect your friend the friend. I think
Speaker 3: that the yeah, maybe the friend dating yeah, needed to
Speaker 3: have been more prospective of where she got that information,
Speaker 3: because that's really that's really just throwing your your og
Speaker 3: friend under the bus for a.
Speaker 1: Dude that you don't even know. I would say, like
Speaker 1: a friend, I heard this from someone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like ideally go to the person and not say who.
Speaker 3: I think you can get your answers without even saying
Speaker 3: you heard anything. I think you can ask really until
Speaker 3: questions without even saying you heard anything, and just make
Speaker 3: him kind of answer things and get your own like
Speaker 3: know what you know, right, know what you know? Keep
Speaker 3: it in like a little file folder. But then like
Speaker 3: ask without throwing a friend under the bus, because she
Speaker 3: really was trying to be protective of her and.
Speaker 2: She didn't get protected back.
Speaker 3: And I hate that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's fair, Yeah, I agree. I just
Speaker 2: I think to make it sounds like she still wants
Speaker 2: this friendship, but she's hurt. So I think that if
Speaker 2: she can see it, as you know, maybe her intention
Speaker 2: was not to hurt you. It really was just to
Speaker 2: get an answer, but she made a mistake and she
Speaker 2: didn't protect her like. I think that that could bring
Speaker 2: them together to have a conversation and to understand a
Speaker 2: little bit of Like again, the intentions, it might not
Speaker 2: have been right, but the intentions I don't think were
Speaker 2: on both sides. To me, it sounds like the intentions
Speaker 2: were not bad intentions.
Speaker 1: I'm shooting this one over to you because you have
Speaker 1: had a friend breakup that was hard that you then
Speaker 1: reconciled they and then you reached out to her right
Speaker 1: because she said basically, I feel like she owes me
Speaker 1: an apology. So and that person wasn't going to give
Speaker 1: you an apology because they didn't think they did anything wrong.
Speaker 2: That was gonna be mine.
Speaker 1: But the relationship was really important to you. So to
Speaker 1: help someone that has had a falling out with a
Speaker 1: friend that wants to but probably knows they're not going
Speaker 1: to get the apology, how do you do it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's been a really hard one for me. I
Speaker 2: have felt in the past like I've kind of always
Speaker 2: been the with my family a lot with other things,
Speaker 2: like I'm always on the hose to say sorry. I'm
Speaker 2: always on why can't someone else say sorry? But with
Speaker 2: that friendship breakup, which has been reconciled, I was like
Speaker 2: that for a while, like I need an apology, and
Speaker 2: I was finally was like, if I want this friendship,
Speaker 2: the only way is that I go to her and
Speaker 2: I apologize because she's not going to do it. And
Speaker 2: I can be mad about that, I can be whatever,
Speaker 2: but at this point, it's my choice to either save
Speaker 2: this friendship or not save this.
Speaker 3: Friendship because it was going to go one where the eye.
Speaker 2: It was going to go one way or the other.
Speaker 2: And I've had a friendship go the other and I'm
Speaker 2: not coming back and saying I'm sorry because that one
Speaker 2: both Yeah, that one, like you know, so, I'm not
Speaker 2: saying that one friendship was more important over the other,
Speaker 2: but at the same time, Sometimes you do have to
Speaker 2: look at friendships and go, okay, is it worth just going?
Speaker 2: All right, I'm hurt, but I'm going to come to
Speaker 2: you and apologize anyway. I apologize for my part in it.
Speaker 2: But this is what hurt me, and that's what I
Speaker 2: did with my friend. We sat down, we did that.
Speaker 2: She got to say what hurt her, the reason she
Speaker 2: wasn't in a place to come to me and apologize,
Speaker 2: and I just you know, even in that conversation, did
Speaker 2: I feel one hundred percent did I feel like she
Speaker 2: really kind of owned up to her part. No? I didn't,
Speaker 2: But I decided that I was going to put that
Speaker 2: aside for our friendship to be able to move forward.
Speaker 1: So I guess to our dearest listener, oh, is that
Speaker 1: friendship worth worth?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: You know, doing and putting aside your probably not going
Speaker 1: to get an apology.
Speaker 3: I also to say, real time apologies.
Speaker 2: We have and I had probably four to six months.
Speaker 3: Maybe my best friend and I broke up for five years,
Speaker 3: five years and she's the love of my life, but
Speaker 3: she was going through a divorce and it was just
Speaker 3: a trickier headspace for her that I had a breath
Speaker 3: blowout where she thought I said something. I apologize and
Speaker 3: I remember I just said I will not fight with you.
Speaker 3: I love you too much. I won't And five years
Speaker 3: later we both came back together. We have been in
Speaker 3: separable since so I and sometimes it's like you just
Speaker 3: need a breather and you just and she's going going
Speaker 3: through a divorce is hard, hard, and so well.
Speaker 2: And I think you can get and I'm learning this
Speaker 2: because I'm the worst at this. I think you can
Speaker 2: get so stuck in the weeds and the details that like,
Speaker 2: you're not going to be You're not gonna you think
Speaker 2: you're right. I think I'm right. Us discussing every little
Speaker 2: detail is going to get us nowhere, and then you
Speaker 2: just have to go. You just got to throw it
Speaker 2: up and say if it's worth it, like say your piece.
Speaker 2: I think you have to say I was her and
Speaker 2: you know whatever. But sometimes you're not going to get
Speaker 2: in with a specific situation. She's gonna think she's right,
Speaker 2: you're gonna think you're right, and you're just gonna have
Speaker 2: to go. You know what, That's okay, I love you
Speaker 2: too much, Like you said, we're just not going to
Speaker 2: fight about it. Let's move on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and if it really matters to you, you're gonna
Speaker 1: have to be the person that yeah, and sometimes that's hard.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, to be that person.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: And I you know, yeah, our little friend breakup that
Speaker 1: we had with someone else, I haven't I'm okay not
Speaker 1: reaching out.
Speaker 2: Well, I feel like we both did well. We tried, yeah,
Speaker 2: and so that's why I think I feel okay.
Speaker 1: And then she tried to not see me in Pottery
Speaker 1: Barn even though I saw her, and then she avoided me.
Speaker 1: I was like, no, that's what friend would do that, Like,
Speaker 1: no real friend would purposely avoid Like what.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. I think that we feel okay
Speaker 2: about it because we did try. Yeah, we didn't just
Speaker 2: I was like, let's talk to me when you're ready.
Speaker 2: I would love to have a conversation. And it was
Speaker 2: done their choice, so what you know, at that point,
Speaker 2: it wasn't important enough to then yep, right to then.
Speaker 2: And then that's when I think you have to go.
Speaker 2: And maybe if you do go to this friend and
Speaker 2: she doesn't want to talk or she doesn't want it
Speaker 2: might not be important to her. Now she's obviously going
Speaker 2: through a lot whatever, she may not want to but
Speaker 2: I have had a friend.
Speaker 3: That a separate friend that we went through something similar
Speaker 3: and we never got back together. Yeah, and it was
Speaker 3: twenty fifty. Yeah, it was like twenty years And honestly,
Speaker 3: it's weird to say it now. I'm what a gift
Speaker 3: because who I had to be to participate in that
Speaker 3: friendship was not did not fit anymore.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so so true. I remember I had a friend
Speaker 1: breakup with someone. We were on a show together, and
Speaker 1: we had a friend breakup. We got back together for
Speaker 1: dinner when I was in San Francisco playing a show,
Speaker 1: and I thought maybe we would then be friends because
Speaker 1: we were friends for so many years. But it was
Speaker 1: realizing that the girl that I was in that I
Speaker 1: was so controlled by her, and so then I was like,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, I actually am okay having peace within
Speaker 1: our breakup and then going separate ways.
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 1: So you start to I just.
Speaker 3: Don't that if this doesn't reconcile, that the world is over,
Speaker 3: because I know that is mourning the loss of someone
Speaker 3: still alive. It's got to be one of the hardest
Speaker 3: things to do. Human friendship breakups are not easy.
Speaker 1: Hard. Yeah, that's like a whole other episode, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: trying to work through that. But I hope it all
Speaker 1: works out. If it really yes, if it really is
Speaker 1: important to you, reach out at least so you know
Speaker 1: that you tried and you know it's important to you. Okay, ladies,
Speaker 1: I got to go to Kentucky, so