WEBVTT - Controlled Chaos 0:00:01.920 --> 0:00:06.920 Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast. Okay, 0:00:06.960 --> 0:00:09.840 I feel like we need to start this episode how 0:00:09.920 --> 0:00:15.360 we started Easter Church Sunday, because it was one of 0:00:15.360 --> 0:00:17.720 those where the pastor was like, we're always going and 0:00:17.720 --> 0:00:20.400 going and rushing, and he's like, everyone, just take a 0:00:21.040 --> 0:00:26.000 nice deep breath. I feel like I need that right now. 0:00:27.040 --> 0:00:30.360 It's a lot. It's only and it's early in the morning. 0:00:31.040 --> 0:00:31.920 It's already a lot. 0:00:33.920 --> 0:00:37.639 I have thrown and footballs, made lunches, so. 0:00:37.680 --> 0:00:39.479 Don't do way too much in the morning. 0:00:40.120 --> 0:00:42.280 I would like to say I did have a moment 0:00:42.440 --> 0:00:43.080 this morning. 0:00:43.159 --> 0:00:44.040 Up and I got ready. 0:00:44.080 --> 0:00:46.600 Now I'm kidding your kids are at a different age though. 0:00:46.560 --> 0:00:48.120 Yeah, I mean I help dreams to get ready, but 0:00:48.120 --> 0:00:49.639 like even then she gets herself ready too. 0:00:49.680 --> 0:00:53.159 So yeah, it's definitely Jason's like play football. You know, 0:00:54.040 --> 0:00:56.880 Wine is in belgram mode. So I cannot detach her 0:00:57.000 --> 0:01:00.240 to save my life. Like she's literally have in the 0:01:00.280 --> 0:01:04.039 most tragic Academy Award winning Goodbye in the driveway this morning, 0:01:04.400 --> 0:01:07.600 Mama and like hand out, like never let go Jack, 0:01:07.640 --> 0:01:09.040 I mean, it's really something. 0:01:09.800 --> 0:01:15.639 Wait, where did she goes? You go to daycare? 0:01:15.720 --> 0:01:15.880 Now? 0:01:16.319 --> 0:01:21.280 No? Yeah, single mom that gets up every single morning 0:01:21.959 --> 0:01:24.040 and has to get themselves in a car and get 0:01:24.040 --> 0:01:26.959 into traffic and do all of that. I thought that 0:01:27.000 --> 0:01:29.120 this point, how lucky am I to stay home? 0:01:29.880 --> 0:01:31.360 Yeah? Holy Mac. 0:01:31.520 --> 0:01:32.920 I look back and I'm like, I don't know how 0:01:32.959 --> 0:01:35.280 I did that. I'm not a morning person like we've 0:01:35.280 --> 0:01:37.280 talked about, and it's like get up, get ready, get 0:01:37.280 --> 0:01:41.160 all the kids to school, daycare, and then go into Nashville. Oh, 0:01:41.200 --> 0:01:43.040 I could never do it again. No, it's terrible. 0:01:44.400 --> 0:01:51.600 So we're gonna We're just realized about myself. Is I'm 0:01:51.600 --> 0:01:53.040 a psycho when I'm. 0:01:53.280 --> 0:01:56.120 Do you want to end it there? That's where my 0:01:56.120 --> 0:01:58.640 sentence ends this morning period. 0:01:58.840 --> 0:02:01.720 I know when I go to my freak out moment. 0:02:01.760 --> 0:02:03.360 Today was my freak out, and I know why now 0:02:03.360 --> 0:02:05.680 I go to my freakout when I am so overwhelmed 0:02:05.760 --> 0:02:10.440 with a million different things. Normally the way that a 0:02:10.600 --> 0:02:11.760 dishwasher is loaded. 0:02:16.080 --> 0:02:18.960 This is not where I thought this was going, is 0:02:19.000 --> 0:02:19.839 how I know? 0:02:21.160 --> 0:02:22.080 Please continue? 0:02:23.560 --> 0:02:26.480 This is actually this was gonna be my wine about it. 0:02:26.520 --> 0:02:28.440 But it's not just host chat because it kind of 0:02:28.440 --> 0:02:31.440 explains I can I have another wine about it. But 0:02:32.160 --> 0:02:34.880 don't worry, there's something there. Do Okay, yes, stay duned, 0:02:35.680 --> 0:02:42.480 dearest readers. So I was I have a very particular 0:02:42.520 --> 0:02:46.280 way of how I do the dishwasher. Now I am 0:02:46.440 --> 0:02:49.679 very I'd rather though, so I don't usually freak out. 0:02:49.760 --> 0:02:52.640 I rather just the people put them in the dishwasher. 0:02:52.680 --> 0:02:56.119 It's fine. I will then quietly rearrange because I love 0:02:56.200 --> 0:03:00.800 to save space in a dishwasher. I loaded, like, that's correct. 0:03:01.919 --> 0:03:04.520 And so, but what I've realized is, and I've always 0:03:04.600 --> 0:03:06.720 kind of wondered when this comes, but now I know 0:03:07.080 --> 0:03:10.200 when it comes is when I'm so overwhelmed, everything just 0:03:10.200 --> 0:03:13.200 gets and I then I explode. Right So, in the 0:03:13.240 --> 0:03:16.680 middle of throwing a football this morning with Jase trying 0:03:16.720 --> 0:03:20.880 to make lunches, making him he's got like this, uh 0:03:20.919 --> 0:03:23.639 he has to memorize like his street, you know, street address, 0:03:23.639 --> 0:03:25.440 my phone number all so, and then the spelling tests 0:03:25.440 --> 0:03:27.560 and we're working all that in the morning, throwing footballs 0:03:27.919 --> 0:03:30.840 like right his you know, during all that, and then 0:03:30.840 --> 0:03:35.240 like Granma's like and then I open the dishwasher, I'm. 0:03:35.200 --> 0:03:40.800 Like, oh my gosh, we are soul mate. 0:03:41.680 --> 0:03:43.880 And so but then it's but then then I can't 0:03:43.920 --> 0:03:46.800 stop the train of like I see the laundry in 0:03:46.840 --> 0:03:48.839 the corner. And then but then, you know, so it's 0:03:48.840 --> 0:03:51.440 like I so when I know there's so many things 0:03:51.480 --> 0:03:54.640 I have to do, I then look at everything that's 0:03:54.720 --> 0:03:57.680 left undone, and then it feels like it's all left 0:03:57.720 --> 0:03:59.560 for me to do. Now I know, I have a 0:03:59.680 --> 0:04:03.000 very you know, helpful partner and all those things, but 0:04:03.120 --> 0:04:06.720 in those moments, I can't control my explosion, right, and 0:04:06.800 --> 0:04:09.640 I don't explode at anybody, but well, I mean I 0:04:09.920 --> 0:04:14.440 make a little snippy when we take that back here, 0:04:14.520 --> 0:04:20.839 but he's like, wow, some of my little little passive 0:04:20.960 --> 0:04:23.359 little throws there, you know, But I can't stop it. 0:04:23.360 --> 0:04:30.240 It's like it's I get and then I'm like, I 0:04:30.400 --> 0:04:34.240 just I can't stop the ball from rolling when I 0:04:34.279 --> 0:04:37.440 feel so And now mind you, I'm leaving for Kentucky today. 0:04:37.440 --> 0:04:39.280 I booked a new movie. I have a whole entire 0:04:39.320 --> 0:04:41.839 script that I do not know. And then I've but 0:04:41.880 --> 0:04:43.320 I and then I have to you know, then I'm 0:04:43.600 --> 0:04:45.479 I get to do all the other things for the 0:04:45.560 --> 0:04:47.360 kids and this, that and the other. So I am 0:04:47.680 --> 0:04:51.080 wildly at the moment stressed. And there's a lot to 0:04:51.080 --> 0:04:53.400 do and a lot to learn, and a lot to 0:04:53.480 --> 0:04:59.400 get done before I leave. Today. I like the location, 0:05:02.279 --> 0:05:04.839 so I just I just feel like I just needed 0:05:04.839 --> 0:05:06.120 to let that out. And now that I've said it, 0:05:06.120 --> 0:05:08.080 I'm okay. But you know what I'm saying. 0:05:08.880 --> 0:05:10.720 Oh, I know what you're I know what you're saying. 0:05:10.760 --> 0:05:12.040 But are sure you're okay? 0:05:12.240 --> 0:05:17.800 Yeah, I'm good. I'll cry about it and probably too. No, 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:21.320 but I now know, though, I'm going to have to 0:05:21.360 --> 0:05:25.480 do some sort of like breathing technique or something when 0:05:25.520 --> 0:05:29.360 I get like this, because I now know I explode 0:05:29.360 --> 0:05:32.520 and turned psycho over things that I don't usually become 0:05:32.560 --> 0:05:35.640 psycho about, but I do it when I'm overwhelmed. So 0:05:36.640 --> 0:05:38.679 can y'all help me what to do in that moment? 0:05:38.720 --> 0:05:42.839 I think we do it. I rage cleaner too, so 0:05:43.040 --> 0:05:45.560 nothing like I mean. 0:05:45.680 --> 0:05:48.920 I am folding launder, throw on the football. Well, I 0:05:48.960 --> 0:05:50.599 didn't put this laundry win. I guess it's left for 0:05:50.640 --> 0:05:51.599 me to fault this morning. 0:05:51.680 --> 0:05:54.240 For me, it's always the fork flip in the dishwasher. 0:05:54.440 --> 0:05:57.040 Why are the tongs down? Why are they doing that? 0:05:57.120 --> 0:05:59.159 It will never the cleanliness will. 0:05:59.000 --> 0:06:01.159 Never reach it out. They're down. 0:06:02.720 --> 0:06:06.920 They put My family loves to put the forks all down. 0:06:07.160 --> 0:06:09.960 Yes, it's cut through the other way. If you put 0:06:10.000 --> 0:06:12.600 the tongues up, if you put the forks up, so 0:06:12.680 --> 0:06:14.480 my thing it's like, but I usually lay them on 0:06:14.520 --> 0:06:15.839 the top, so I've got like a thing on the 0:06:15.839 --> 0:06:18.640 top and then you like, I play them very precisely. 0:06:18.839 --> 0:06:20.719 This is definitely not what I stress about. 0:06:21.560 --> 0:06:24.880 Well, I think it's for me. I'll just grab control 0:06:26.400 --> 0:06:28.719 and so that's all it is. It's the fork flipping 0:06:29.040 --> 0:06:31.640 has nothing to do with the grand scheme of things 0:06:32.040 --> 0:06:32.480 at all. 0:06:32.640 --> 0:06:35.240 I will say, a knife up will drive me crazy 0:06:35.279 --> 0:06:40.080 because I almost kill Yeah, my kids do the dishes, 0:06:40.160 --> 0:06:43.720 the older ones, they mostly do the dishes, so it's 0:06:43.720 --> 0:06:47.080 always wrong. So y'all would die. But I'm just like whatever, 0:06:47.200 --> 0:06:48.520 But like, my house is a disaster. 0:06:49.279 --> 0:06:51.120 But you're so cold. 0:06:51.680 --> 0:06:52.120 I am. 0:06:52.440 --> 0:06:54.920 I told you, Remember we talked about this, like I'm fine. 0:06:54.920 --> 0:06:57.599 Amy's like the mess. You know, remember that the mess 0:06:57.640 --> 0:07:00.039 will not be there. So I've really embraced it. I 0:07:00.200 --> 0:07:02.320 know now why when I explain. 0:07:02.080 --> 0:07:05.760 Yeah, if I'm overwhelmed about other things, so that's won't 0:07:05.760 --> 0:07:08.679 be my first. My first will be I'm overwhelmed about 0:07:09.000 --> 0:07:10.800 the kids of this, this, this, and this, and then 0:07:10.880 --> 0:07:12.640 I'll come home to the house dirty and then it 0:07:12.680 --> 0:07:14.760 may throw me over the edge, like I didn't give 0:07:14.760 --> 0:07:18.000 a crap the you know, the week before that it 0:07:18.040 --> 0:07:21.120 was a mess. But I will. But I think being overwhelmed, 0:07:21.240 --> 0:07:24.480 I think that's normal. I get like when you're overwhelmed, 0:07:24.520 --> 0:07:27.480 like that's when people get Now, we can't control our 0:07:27.560 --> 0:07:30.120 response to it and how we act, I've been told, 0:07:30.600 --> 0:07:33.480 but I'm not really good at that either. 0:07:33.640 --> 0:07:37.800 I think what I might struggle with is when I 0:07:37.880 --> 0:07:40.520 come back from the movie, I don't want to because 0:07:40.520 --> 0:07:42.160 this has happened before. I don't want to come home 0:07:42.200 --> 0:07:47.160 to a big Powell laundry, right, So I have to 0:07:47.200 --> 0:07:48.600 find a way to say something. 0:07:49.240 --> 0:07:50.280 Yeah, just ask. 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:53.560 Yeah, I mean it's so hard for me, you know. 0:07:54.000 --> 0:07:57.320 But the being it is worse. Yeah, yeah, I mean 0:07:57.320 --> 0:07:59.240 it really is. It really is, because you're going to 0:07:59.280 --> 0:07:59.720 be let down. 0:07:59.760 --> 0:07:59.880 Now. 0:08:00.120 --> 0:08:01.920 I'm the laundry person at my house. So I will 0:08:01.960 --> 0:08:03.720 one hundred I mean, Nick will do it if it's there, 0:08:04.120 --> 0:08:06.120 like I will one hundred percent come back to laundry. 0:08:06.440 --> 0:08:09.200 But he does the dishes when the kids don't sure 0:08:09.360 --> 0:08:11.240 ninety nine percent of the time. He does a lot 0:08:11.280 --> 0:08:13.320 of other stuff. But the laundry will always be there 0:08:13.320 --> 0:08:15.720 when I get back. But if I asked he would 0:08:15.720 --> 0:08:15.960 do it. 0:08:16.080 --> 0:08:19.000 Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I will have to have to 0:08:19.040 --> 0:08:22.679 figure out how to control when you're out of control, 0:08:22.720 --> 0:08:24.280 how to control yourself. 0:08:24.320 --> 0:08:26.880 Well, I think too, in those moments, we're not only 0:08:26.880 --> 0:08:30.120 looking for control, but probably a little efficiency, which if 0:08:30.240 --> 0:08:33.280 things were done, then it makes it easier for you 0:08:33.320 --> 0:08:35.400 to prep yourself and get yourself out of here, you 0:08:35.440 --> 0:08:38.360 know where things are. That's at least my usual frustration. 0:08:38.520 --> 0:08:41.120 Like even this morning, this is not what I wanted 0:08:41.120 --> 0:08:44.240 to wear. I could not find the sweat I couldn't 0:08:44.240 --> 0:08:46.480 find my sweatpants, and I just was like, you know, 0:08:46.640 --> 0:08:50.080 you're like yeah, and it can't be my fault what 0:08:50.360 --> 0:08:52.240 you know in that moment, it just has to be 0:08:52.320 --> 0:08:54.319 that no one is helpful the truth we do y. 0:08:55.640 --> 0:08:58.600 I just think it comes down to expectations too. You know, 0:08:58.760 --> 0:09:01.160 at the end of the day, you're bombed or you're 0:09:01.240 --> 0:09:04.840 upset because your expectation was for someone else to help 0:09:05.360 --> 0:09:07.760 pick up the load, even though they didn't know that 0:09:07.840 --> 0:09:10.400 was your expectation, right, or he didn't know, or the 0:09:10.480 --> 0:09:11.720 kids didn't know, and that. 0:09:11.679 --> 0:09:14.320 Is like there was no that'll be for when when 0:09:14.360 --> 0:09:16.079 you get back, when I get back. This was more 0:09:16.240 --> 0:09:20.280 just like I just feel like I got I have to. 0:09:21.920 --> 0:09:23.400 I'm going to have to do all the work that 0:09:23.440 --> 0:09:27.679 I've done with Amy about embracing the mess and all 0:09:27.720 --> 0:09:29.800 that stuff and not letting it stress. Because I've done 0:09:29.840 --> 0:09:33.200 such a good job, truly, I've like one eighty that. 0:09:33.360 --> 0:09:35.760 But now I know where I still struggle is when 0:09:35.800 --> 0:09:40.400 I'm wildly stressed and overwhelmed and feel like I've got 0:09:40.400 --> 0:09:43.120 all these things to do, and then I look around 0:09:43.200 --> 0:09:46.800 and go, is anyone right right? Is anyone out there? 0:09:48.240 --> 0:09:52.480 Never raft I felt it this aggressive comin looking up 0:09:52.520 --> 0:09:53.320 what I'm putting down. 0:09:54.160 --> 0:09:54.360 Well. 0:09:54.400 --> 0:09:56.800 I also sometimes just wonder what it's like to be 0:09:56.880 --> 0:09:59.600 my husband in these moments because I feel terrible for 0:09:59.679 --> 0:10:00.800 him and the moments. 0:10:00.520 --> 0:10:04.560 Because he's going so I feel because like he's so good, 0:10:04.679 --> 0:10:07.320 you know what I mean, Yeah, so helpful, so so 0:10:07.320 --> 0:10:09.400 so so so helpful. It's almost like he knows I 0:10:09.440 --> 0:10:10.880 just need to like have my freak out and then 0:10:10.880 --> 0:10:12.440 I'm like, I love you. I'm sorry. 0:10:12.640 --> 0:10:14.560 Preston called it, he calls it my shell. I go 0:10:14.640 --> 0:10:17.200 into my shell, he said. I went into my Easter shell, 0:10:17.280 --> 0:10:21.160 he told me on Easter. But even this morning, like 0:10:21.240 --> 0:10:24.120 he's you know, he is just so excited to put 0:10:24.120 --> 0:10:26.000 a new grip on Legend's bat. And so there he 0:10:26.120 --> 0:10:28.200 is just putting a grip on Legend's bat, and I'm 0:10:28.240 --> 0:10:31.480 making free breakfast. And he he has a right today, 0:10:31.679 --> 0:10:33.720 so he's just thinking about that, you know, and putting 0:10:33.760 --> 0:10:35.480 a grip on his bat, and I'm just over there 0:10:35.520 --> 0:10:37.600 trying to make a shake so that I don't starve today, 0:10:37.600 --> 0:10:41.600 and like, you know, just preemptively, you know, whatever it is. 0:10:41.720 --> 0:10:44.680 It just and I thought, I want to He has 0:10:44.720 --> 0:10:46.560 so much stress and I feel like he handles it 0:10:46.640 --> 0:10:49.560 so much better than me. He has the weight of 0:10:49.600 --> 0:10:52.760 the world on his shoulders currently, and and you wouldn't 0:10:52.840 --> 0:10:56.480 know that. So why am I spirally? I don't know. 0:10:57.600 --> 0:11:00.440 Somebody has to be sure. There's one in every couple. Catherine. 0:11:00.440 --> 0:11:02.319 You came in saying you've got a lot to talk about. 0:11:03.240 --> 0:11:09.960 Oh, not on here. Oh listen. I actually said, they're 0:11:10.000 --> 0:11:12.800 not going to come out of my mouth. Oh I do. 0:11:12.800 --> 0:11:14.880 You don't want to hear that things that don't need 0:11:14.920 --> 0:11:17.480 to come out of my mouth? Because it was it 0:11:17.520 --> 0:11:20.680 was not it was not nice. Well that's not mean, 0:11:21.000 --> 0:11:22.839 but like I felt like it was better to keep 0:11:22.880 --> 0:11:23.360 to myself. 0:11:23.679 --> 0:11:25.000 Normally, a mean person. 0:11:24.960 --> 0:11:28.480 It wasn't mean, but it wasn't you. Yeah, I mean 0:11:28.520 --> 0:11:30.440 it wasn't It was what you were talking about earlier. 0:11:30.440 --> 0:11:32.480 And I just had a comment and then I was like, 0:11:32.480 --> 0:11:34.000 you don't want to keep that comment to myself. I'm 0:11:34.040 --> 0:11:36.400 going to be better. Sorry, really here. 0:11:37.000 --> 0:11:39.400 No, that's that's good. I mean I've lere my lesson 0:11:39.480 --> 0:11:40.719 keeping my comments. 0:11:40.320 --> 0:11:42.240 To my comments to myself. 0:11:42.600 --> 0:11:44.240 It's fine. What else is going on, guys? 0:11:44.960 --> 0:11:47.040 I would like to tell you about a Costco experience 0:11:47.080 --> 0:11:50.679 I had about I don't know what it is. Put 0:11:50.720 --> 0:11:54.559 it where you want to feeling really sad? Okay, I'll 0:11:54.600 --> 0:11:59.280 go with mine about it. I know I'm getting older, Okay. 0:11:59.320 --> 0:12:02.520 One of my very friends actually at home, her son 0:12:03.040 --> 0:12:07.560 is now engaged. Okay, Okay, she's hot, and she's like, 0:12:07.760 --> 0:12:12.160 just you know, forties forty three maybe, ok wow, right, 0:12:13.080 --> 0:12:15.400 because a lot of times in my hometown it was 0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:19.000 prom engagement babies, right, So I think that because I'm 0:12:19.040 --> 0:12:23.080 forty three with a toddler, I sometimes just don't register 0:12:23.320 --> 0:12:26.200 that there's people that will potentially be like being a 0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:27.240 mother of the bride right now. 0:12:27.480 --> 0:12:27.680 Right. 0:12:28.920 --> 0:12:31.240 So I'm in Costco. I left y' all last week 0:12:31.280 --> 0:12:33.640 and I had to go do the daddy daughter dance shopping. 0:12:34.120 --> 0:12:40.080 So I go to Costco and guys, this, I'm not 0:12:40.080 --> 0:12:42.319 even gonna say I'm in denial about getting older, because 0:12:42.320 --> 0:12:46.959 maybe I am. Maybe I am, because this moment really 0:12:47.360 --> 0:12:49.440 was like a bullet. Did they give you like an 0:12:49.520 --> 0:12:50.000 ARP card? 0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:51.040 You know? 0:12:51.840 --> 0:12:58.319 He says, Sweet Steve is at Costco. Oh, sweet at Costco. 0:12:58.480 --> 0:13:02.559 Remind me he's a checkuck. He's assisting the checkout guy. Yeah, 0:13:02.679 --> 0:13:04.840 And I think Sharon could sense what was happening and 0:13:04.880 --> 0:13:07.120 she could not get the train back on the track 0:13:07.200 --> 0:13:11.120 past enough. And so he says to me, are you 0:13:11.240 --> 0:13:15.679 Meghan's mom? And I said I'm not. I'm not Megan's mom. 0:13:15.720 --> 0:13:18.800 And he said, you look just like Megan. She works 0:13:18.800 --> 0:13:21.360 in produce. Megan's old enough to have a job and 0:13:21.520 --> 0:13:27.440 be filing taxes. And he goes and I can tell 0:13:27.480 --> 0:13:30.800 that Sharon is screwing. She's like she did not get 0:13:30.840 --> 0:13:34.600 the mom. You know, that's not Megan's mom. And I'm 0:13:34.640 --> 0:13:38.199 like no, And so I say, because I'm just trying 0:13:38.200 --> 0:13:40.440 to save myself, I go, is Megan really kind? 0:13:40.600 --> 0:13:41.600 I hope she's really cool. 0:13:41.880 --> 0:13:44.600 Oh, she's kind and she's so cute. And I was 0:13:44.679 --> 0:13:47.840 like okay, and then Sharon keeps saying, well, you know 0:13:47.920 --> 0:13:50.280 that's not Megan's mom because that she doesn't look like 0:13:50.480 --> 0:13:52.680 she doesn't look like Bob's wife. Come on now, And 0:13:52.720 --> 0:13:55.840 I'm like, what is happening that I, at forty three 0:13:56.000 --> 0:13:57.600 will go home and have a toddler on my hip. 0:13:57.640 --> 0:14:00.439 But I could also be Meghan who works in his 0:14:00.559 --> 0:14:03.079 mom It really hit me. 0:14:03.200 --> 0:14:05.480 Like I have a really funny story that's very similar 0:14:05.480 --> 0:14:06.800 to that that happened to me last night. 0:14:07.440 --> 0:14:10.040 Let me can I ask a question real fast? Did 0:14:10.080 --> 0:14:14.080 we know before this happened Steve's name, Sharon's name, and 0:14:14.600 --> 0:14:19.040 Meghan was yeah, mean. 0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:21.200 No, but I can assume that Meghan is old enough 0:14:21.240 --> 0:14:22.440 to drive herself to work. 0:14:22.440 --> 0:14:22.680 Okay? 0:14:24.000 --> 0:14:24.760 It a high school. 0:14:25.880 --> 0:14:28.280 I think you literally were like, oh Meghan from. 0:14:28.120 --> 0:14:31.840 Pro because Catherine has to remind me, because I was 0:14:32.040 --> 0:14:34.120 quite sad that I was had a sixteen year old 0:14:34.240 --> 0:14:36.640 daughter in my movie. 0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:40.480 And she's like hey, and I was like, that's right. 0:14:40.720 --> 0:14:41.680 People started young. 0:14:42.040 --> 0:14:44.680 Yeah they did well even then. I was still only 0:14:44.720 --> 0:14:48.080 twenty five, so like I was young, but like people 0:14:48.160 --> 0:14:50.640 start way younger than that, you know what I mean? 0:14:50.920 --> 0:14:54.200 Right? I did feel quite old speaking to that because 0:14:54.240 --> 0:14:56.040 my buddy, Shane West, I'm going to drop that name. 0:14:56.160 --> 0:14:58.400 So he texted me, you know, the he was the 0:14:58.400 --> 0:15:01.320 heart throb from A Walk to Remember. So we're buddies. 0:15:01.480 --> 0:15:04.040 He's he lives in Nashville, and so we've been sending 0:15:04.040 --> 0:15:05.560 scripts kind of back and forth, and he sent me 0:15:05.640 --> 0:15:07.400 a script last night. He's like, hey, you'd be perfect 0:15:07.440 --> 0:15:09.480 for this role. So I'm reading the script and I'm like, oh, 0:15:09.520 --> 0:15:13.120 this is awesome. Well she just got a twenty five 0:15:13.200 --> 0:15:15.400 year old though, and I'm like, I don't think I 0:15:15.480 --> 0:15:19.520 have that kids On the one, Yeah, I was like, 0:15:19.760 --> 0:15:21.760 I said forties, and I'm like, well, I am forties, 0:15:21.800 --> 0:15:23.280 so that's fine. 0:15:23.080 --> 0:15:26.960 But forties and forty one are very Yeah, they can 0:15:27.000 --> 0:15:27.720 be very different. 0:15:28.480 --> 0:15:29.600 That kind of hurt my heart a little bit. 0:15:29.880 --> 0:15:34.960 Yeah. And the thing is is, I'm not like, a. 0:15:33.720 --> 0:15:36.040 I love being forty though I did say last episode, 0:15:36.160 --> 0:15:38.120 but I again, I do love being forty. 0:15:38.360 --> 0:15:41.240 I think it's weird. I think maybe because I had 0:15:41.240 --> 0:15:44.080 a baby at forty one, like I have a toddler 0:15:44.160 --> 0:15:46.720 at forty three. That's like a I think it almost 0:15:46.720 --> 0:15:49.880 tricks me or something. And because truthfully, a lot of 0:15:49.880 --> 0:15:51.680 our friend case in point, like a lot of us 0:15:51.720 --> 0:15:54.480 have had babies later, so I don't know it just 0:15:54.520 --> 0:15:57.240 really I was, I know I'm getting older. I love 0:15:57.400 --> 0:16:00.600 the forties a lot. Actually very empowering, gaid for me 0:16:00.760 --> 0:16:05.360 so far, but like just really I thought, okay, wow, 0:16:05.480 --> 0:16:08.440 I could would be Megan's Megan from Produce? 0:16:09.600 --> 0:16:11.320 Was Megan really from Produce or did you make that? 0:16:11.320 --> 0:16:11.360 No? 0:16:11.600 --> 0:16:13.680 She is, and I hope she's adorable. I mean what 0:16:13.720 --> 0:16:14.280 I wanted to. 0:16:14.200 --> 0:16:18.760 Say, is she gonna go find her? This is Megan. 0:16:20.480 --> 0:16:23.680 Just avoid all contests, say I hate kick Guard Pasco. 0:16:23.840 --> 0:16:38.120 Yeah, all right, so we're actually going to go to 0:16:38.160 --> 0:16:39.800 wine about it now. Even though I feel like our 0:16:39.800 --> 0:16:41.800 host chat was a continuous. 0:16:41.200 --> 0:16:45.120 I feel like that happens every week. Wait it doesn't. 0:16:45.360 --> 0:16:49.720 No, No, Megan loves her best life. I just wanted 0:16:49.760 --> 0:16:50.480 anybody got one? 0:16:50.880 --> 0:16:51.360 No, you do? 0:16:52.560 --> 0:16:53.720 I know I do have one. 0:16:54.360 --> 0:16:54.800 I was. 0:16:55.560 --> 0:16:58.800 I posted something yesterday on my page about I was 0:16:58.800 --> 0:17:03.360 sitting out so so so Jace had a baseball game, 0:17:03.840 --> 0:17:06.840 Alan had his clinic, and so Jace said, you know, 0:17:06.840 --> 0:17:09.280 can I play for another you know fifteen some the mints. 0:17:09.280 --> 0:17:10.640 I said, sure, I'm gonna be up in my office. 0:17:10.640 --> 0:17:12.280 Well in my office, I have got a nice little 0:17:12.280 --> 0:17:14.680 balcony and I like to watch a sunset at night, 0:17:15.280 --> 0:17:18.480 and so jolly, same thing. Like she was kind of 0:17:18.480 --> 0:17:21.000 getting ready for bed. Well, so I was like, hey, guys, 0:17:21.000 --> 0:17:22.760 I'm just gonna be in my office. So she comes out. 0:17:22.800 --> 0:17:25.280 She's so sweet. She brings her little Bible and her 0:17:25.280 --> 0:17:28.240 little daily devotional thing. Didn't ask her to do that, 0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:29.920 and she just came out and sat in the chair 0:17:29.960 --> 0:17:31.280 next to me. She's like, can I sit here? I'm like, 0:17:31.359 --> 0:17:34.679 of course, like anytime. So we're sitting there. She's just 0:17:34.680 --> 0:17:36.560 like reading her little devotional and then picks up the 0:17:36.600 --> 0:17:38.720 Bible and then you know, she was showing me He's like, 0:17:38.760 --> 0:17:40.399 no lift, bring in here and fifty years like so 0:17:40.480 --> 0:17:42.200 we're like just like chatting. I'm like I didn't know that, 0:17:42.560 --> 0:17:47.240 but it's good. And so just like really enjoying the moment, right, 0:17:47.600 --> 0:17:50.040 And so I'm like, man, this is such a peaceful moment. 0:17:50.320 --> 0:17:52.520 We're you know, also quiet, listening to the birds, and 0:17:52.560 --> 0:17:54.720 it's just like a beautiful thing. And what a beautiful 0:17:55.600 --> 0:17:59.639 moment to feel that just peace because I felt like 0:18:00.320 --> 0:18:03.760 so long I've just dealt with stress and anxiety and 0:18:03.960 --> 0:18:06.960 worry and all all, you know, and past relationships are 0:18:07.080 --> 0:18:11.399 single whatever, And so I post just saying like, hey, 0:18:11.440 --> 0:18:13.280 if anyone's in the trenches right now, let go of 0:18:13.720 --> 0:18:17.159 what's holding your piece captive. And then I get someone 0:18:17.160 --> 0:18:19.960 that is someone that comments back, being like, oh, easy 0:18:19.960 --> 0:18:21.679 for you to day in your big ass house, and 0:18:21.720 --> 0:18:24.639 I just wanted to say so I wrote back, and 0:18:24.680 --> 0:18:26.399 I was like, it's actually is not about I was 0:18:26.440 --> 0:18:31.080 talking about like relationships and love and life and my 0:18:31.400 --> 0:18:33.680 thing with I guess my wine about it is it's 0:18:33.680 --> 0:18:37.400 not even that people say mean comments. It's not about 0:18:37.400 --> 0:18:41.160 that they're struggling with something that they're obviously dealing with 0:18:41.200 --> 0:18:43.080 a lack of peace maybe in their life. I don't know. 0:18:43.840 --> 0:18:46.880 But my thing is my wine about it is that 0:18:47.440 --> 0:18:50.840 you don't for me, My piece has never come from 0:18:50.880 --> 0:18:55.040 a material object ever, like ever, no matter how big 0:18:55.040 --> 0:18:57.080 of a house I'll ever have and do I like 0:18:57.119 --> 0:18:59.119 my card no, but like, no matter if I've got 0:18:59.119 --> 0:19:02.880 my dream g wagon or any I mean you guys, 0:19:02.920 --> 0:19:04.480 I shop at Amazon, you know what I mean, Like, 0:19:04.520 --> 0:19:07.600 I'm not like that, but to buy expensive clothes like 0:19:07.640 --> 0:19:09.920 that's not going to ever Like things will never give 0:19:09.960 --> 0:19:10.320 me peace. 0:19:10.320 --> 0:19:11.600 I'm not gonna give any one piece. 0:19:11.760 --> 0:19:14.160 Yeah, and so I just I guess my wine about 0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:17.679 it is that it just it bothers me that people 0:19:17.720 --> 0:19:20.800 think that that's what's imp that that is what will 0:19:20.800 --> 0:19:21.600 give people piece. 0:19:22.480 --> 0:19:25.520