WEBVTT - From Sunset to Sunrise with Amanza Smith 0:00:01.920 --> 0:00:05.399 Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio podcast 0:00:06.400 --> 0:00:07.400 last week. 0:00:07.760 --> 0:00:08.320 Uh oh. 0:00:09.720 --> 0:00:10.680 Not in the new House. 0:00:11.600 --> 0:00:15.600 Oh no. Why do I always feel like I've done 0:00:15.840 --> 0:00:18.319 I'm wrong. I don't know what is that. There's some 0:00:18.400 --> 0:00:21.040 sort of ambush thing I'm always waiting for with you too, 0:00:21.079 --> 0:00:24.200 I think that I don't know, we can dig deeper 0:00:24.239 --> 0:00:27.720 with Amy maybe and have a group sash interesting because 0:00:27.880 --> 0:00:29.960 I'm like, you're like, am I I was thinking you 0:00:30.000 --> 0:00:33.400 were a say am I fired? Or about that? Because 0:00:33.400 --> 0:00:35.760 we're friends forever. So if I'm not on the podcast, 0:00:35.800 --> 0:00:38.120 it's like I'll be sad because I love everyone. But 0:00:38.159 --> 0:00:40.440 I'm also like, that's fine, right, Yeah, I mean not 0:00:40.640 --> 0:00:43.959 in a way. I just the bottom can fall out 0:00:43.960 --> 0:00:46.120 in radio anytime, and since I did radio, I think 0:00:46.159 --> 0:00:47.880 I'm just always ready for that. Yeah. 0:00:48.040 --> 0:00:50.160 It's funny because I'm the girl that's like, don't send 0:00:50.159 --> 0:00:52.360 me a dot dot dot Like if she sends if 0:00:52.400 --> 0:00:54.240 I get a dot dot dot on the text, I'm 0:00:54.240 --> 0:00:55.160 like and I'm fired. 0:00:56.040 --> 0:00:56.160 No. 0:00:56.560 --> 0:00:58.920 Oh, I don't like it when Jana goes, hey are 0:00:58.960 --> 0:01:01.640 you around in ten? Oh? Well, I think we talked 0:01:01.640 --> 0:01:03.560 about that a couple of weeks ago, and I did 0:01:03.600 --> 0:01:06.360 it to Kat but I'm also the same human with 0:01:06.440 --> 0:01:09.080 that too, So I girls, I get it. I'm counting 0:01:12.520 --> 0:01:16.320 my bad Okay, yes, so this is the last I 0:01:16.400 --> 0:01:19.640 gotta tell you, though, I've really loved staying in this cottage. 0:01:19.920 --> 0:01:21.080 It's adorable. 0:01:21.200 --> 0:01:24.600 It's a two bedroom, one bath. The only issue is 0:01:25.200 --> 0:01:26.720 you guys, this is so embarrassing. 0:01:27.000 --> 0:01:30.880 Oh no, open yeah, yeah, I don't there was one bathroom. 0:01:31.080 --> 0:01:32.959 Tell me, can we do we have Do we have 0:01:32.959 --> 0:01:35.080 a minute to talk about number two with the number 0:01:35.080 --> 0:01:36.160 one girls? Yes? 0:01:36.280 --> 0:01:36.760 Okay. 0:01:37.480 --> 0:01:42.800 So this is always tricky to me because I feel like, okay, 0:01:42.840 --> 0:01:45.680 so like I oh, first of all, in order to go, 0:01:45.920 --> 0:01:48.160 I'm just we're just gonna what are we gonna call it? 0:01:48.160 --> 0:01:52.680 It's good Mark Kramer. No, No, that sounds like there's 0:01:52.760 --> 0:01:55.840 a story there. There's a story that's vaulted for a 0:01:55.880 --> 0:01:56.280 few of them. 0:01:56.520 --> 0:01:56.720 Yeah. 0:01:58.240 --> 0:02:00.880 No, I feel like I can't comfortably go to the 0:02:00.920 --> 0:02:04.000 bathroom unless there's like at least like two locked doors 0:02:04.040 --> 0:02:07.480 between me and the other whoever is next in my house? Right? 0:02:07.640 --> 0:02:08.720 I don't even lock the door. 0:02:09.440 --> 0:02:12.560 So this is my question. So when you poop? Oh 0:02:14.480 --> 0:02:15.480 never seen you poop? 0:02:16.280 --> 0:02:20.400 I mean maybe, but it's really like I'm saying like 0:02:21.080 --> 0:02:29.720 maybe something are. 0:02:27.480 --> 0:02:30.600 No, I'm just saying that supplements we get use to 0:02:30.639 --> 0:02:31.560 get you out of that. 0:02:31.840 --> 0:02:34.240 Little I highly doubt it, but I mean I'm sure 0:02:34.280 --> 0:02:36.320 at some point, like in a hotel, you know, I 0:02:36.360 --> 0:02:38.160 just like in the hotels they have like clear doors on, 0:02:38.360 --> 0:02:46.239 like there's got to be I do that. I feel like, yeah, anyway, 0:02:46.240 --> 0:02:46.919 I don't lock the door. 0:02:47.000 --> 0:02:49.359 No, Like I can't even go when the three of 0:02:49.440 --> 0:02:51.800 us are out traveling and you guys are like a safe, 0:02:51.960 --> 0:02:57.240 cozy place for me. Not until everybody leaves the room 0:02:57.400 --> 0:02:59.120 and gives turns their keys into me. 0:03:00.360 --> 0:03:01.919 Janna is like, hey, guys, I need you all to 0:03:01.960 --> 0:03:03.880 talk and I needs to talk real loud, and then 0:03:03.919 --> 0:03:04.520 she goes in. 0:03:04.840 --> 0:03:06.680 This is how fast it is. Danna goes in, closes 0:03:06.720 --> 0:03:08.480 the door, and she goes dropping out, and Jane opens 0:03:08.480 --> 0:03:11.080 the door and she's all done. The thing is, though, 0:03:11.320 --> 0:03:13.840 is that I don't I think and I don't know 0:03:13.880 --> 0:03:16.359 what it is, but the most uncomfortable thing even when 0:03:16.400 --> 0:03:23.520 I'm like in a restroom and someone does like but 0:03:23.560 --> 0:03:25.520 I'm like, I'm like, sorry, girl, that sucks. 0:03:25.680 --> 0:03:25.880 You know. 0:03:26.160 --> 0:03:29.400 I feel bad for the person, but are you? But 0:03:29.400 --> 0:03:32.840 That's why I'm always like talk loud whatever, Alan like 0:03:32.880 --> 0:03:35.280 puts on a shower, like he'll he'll like run the 0:03:35.320 --> 0:03:38.840 water in this small thing. Like he usually goes upstairs. 0:03:38.920 --> 0:03:40.640 Like I kind of got when he moved into the 0:03:40.720 --> 0:03:43.280 last house. I kind of got what he was doing. 0:03:43.360 --> 0:03:45.520 Like he'd go upstairs and he's like, I'm just making 0:03:45.520 --> 0:03:47.280 the kids beds because he's so cute, he like makes 0:03:47.280 --> 0:03:49.560 the kids' beds. But I'm like, no, I think now 0:03:49.600 --> 0:03:51.839 you're just going up there, like that's your like, that's 0:03:51.840 --> 0:03:54.520 his time, that's his You're you're going up there to poop. Yeah, 0:03:54.560 --> 0:03:56.600 you're making a bedroom and dropping the kids off of 0:03:56.640 --> 0:03:56.960 the bool? 0:03:57.080 --> 0:03:58.640 Is that what you have to do? 0:03:58.640 --> 0:04:00.640 Does it take him around? Does that issue off since 0:04:00.680 --> 0:04:01.800 it takes you two seconds? 0:04:02.000 --> 0:04:05.320 Oh no, So I don't even really know, like I 0:04:05.600 --> 0:04:07.720 know when he does go, because again he'll turn the 0:04:07.720 --> 0:04:09.920 thing on or he'll go upstairs like in the other houses. 0:04:09.960 --> 0:04:13.480 But here it's like you can just tell because it's 0:04:14.200 --> 0:04:17.320 like again it's maybe a nine hundred no eight hundred 0:04:17.360 --> 0:04:20.719 square foot cottage we're in right now. And so but 0:04:20.760 --> 0:04:25.520 when I have to go, so I still like, will 0:04:25.600 --> 0:04:32.760 dry heave to like smells and stuff? Do you dry well? Obviously? 0:04:32.760 --> 0:04:36.880 Because it's disgusting. But it doesn't matter. I can't even 0:04:37.040 --> 0:04:40.120 like any like even the other day, Alan tried to 0:04:40.160 --> 0:04:42.880 kiss me and like his like moisturizer smell, like it 0:04:43.040 --> 0:04:46.039 smells just really get me mm hmmm. And so I 0:04:46.160 --> 0:04:48.480 like have to like run out of the bathroom, you know, 0:04:48.520 --> 0:04:50.240 but then I have forget to like go back and 0:04:50.320 --> 0:04:52.719 check that like all things went down. 0:04:53.240 --> 0:04:53.960 Oh no. 0:04:55.120 --> 0:04:57.400 And then he said the other day, He's like, Babe, 0:04:57.440 --> 0:04:58.800 did you use the bathroom? I was like, no, one 0:04:58.839 --> 0:05:05.520 of the kids went before, and he's like he's like real, 0:05:05.560 --> 0:05:07.320 because the kids haven't been here in two days. He's 0:05:07.360 --> 0:05:09.400 like he's like, I got them ready this morning. I 0:05:09.440 --> 0:05:11.080 was like, yeah, Well then then when then Jays had 0:05:11.080 --> 0:05:12.680 to run back in to go to the bathroom, and 0:05:12.720 --> 0:05:14.920 I was like, why is it so hard to be like, yeah, 0:05:14.960 --> 0:05:17.880 I totally took a dump. I forgot to like go 0:05:17.960 --> 0:05:20.000 back in to make sure nothing was like still there. 0:05:20.240 --> 0:05:23.159 I know, it is interesting, especially because like we have babies. 0:05:23.480 --> 0:05:26.520 I know, I'm like, I don't bother me, Like Preston 0:05:26.520 --> 0:05:30.159 has legitimately seen me deliver three babies, and I'm still 0:05:30.200 --> 0:05:34.200 like lock that door and don't come over here. I know, sorry, guys, 0:05:34.200 --> 0:05:36.680 this is like but it is a real thing, and 0:05:36.720 --> 0:05:39.320 I don't understand why exactly why because we could go 0:05:40.040 --> 0:05:42.320 I mean during the heyday, I could just be in 0:05:42.320 --> 0:05:43.760 the middle of a field and go pee if I 0:05:43.800 --> 0:05:46.320 needed to. You know, I think it feels less sexy 0:05:46.520 --> 0:05:48.520 and like I don't want him to see like because 0:05:48.560 --> 0:05:51.640 it is because it is. Yeah, but it's also human, 0:05:51.839 --> 0:05:55.839 just like periods and everything else. But anyways, so but 0:05:55.880 --> 0:05:58.039 I still don't want anybody to see that. Having said 0:05:58.080 --> 0:06:00.279 all that, as much as I love this place, I 0:06:00.279 --> 0:06:04.960 cannot wait to go have a separate bathroom for moments 0:06:05.000 --> 0:06:05.360 like this. 0:06:05.640 --> 0:06:07.320 Yeah, he can have his own poop bathroom. 0:06:07.320 --> 0:06:09.400 He can have your own poop bathroom. Yeah. And then 0:06:09.440 --> 0:06:11.600 guess what what Easton's coming? 0:06:11.640 --> 0:06:12.040 Next time. 0:06:13.320 --> 0:06:15.440 I didn't know that Eastern was coming, and I got 0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:19.040 a surprise face time. He was with Preston in l 0:06:19.120 --> 0:06:21.080 A and he goes, I'm coming to see you, and 0:06:21.160 --> 0:06:23.359 I said, wait, what it's like Eastern Christmas. 0:06:23.680 --> 0:06:23.920 Yeah. 0:06:24.160 --> 0:06:27.000 Yeah, he's going to set us up. We're going to 0:06:27.080 --> 0:06:29.960 have a whole new look. So next time you see us, 0:06:30.120 --> 0:06:30.720 we're gonna have a. 0:06:30.640 --> 0:06:31.320 Whole new look. 0:06:31.400 --> 0:06:34.880 Should we like start getting dressed for this. No, okay, 0:06:35.080 --> 0:06:40.800 this is what I like about. Talk to me Bo's baby, like, 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:42.360 are we going to have a real set? And now 0:06:42.360 --> 0:06:45.200 we should actually look the part because I really like 0:06:45.880 --> 0:06:48.400 Aaron running stay at home mom. No, but we're gonna 0:06:48.400 --> 0:06:50.320 have it's going to be like we're really going to 0:06:50.440 --> 0:06:51.840 just make it look good, y'all. We're gonna have a 0:06:51.880 --> 0:06:54.159 nice big TV that we can see and we're staring 0:06:54.160 --> 0:06:57.360 at this little you know, it's going to be like, yeah, 0:06:57.360 --> 0:06:59.400 it's gonna be great. I do miss the ring light 0:06:59.800 --> 0:07:02.680 and I just say that really pretty light that we 0:07:02.760 --> 0:07:07.440 had at your house. Look at something I would feel 0:07:07.440 --> 0:07:10.400 better and think just a little something. But anyways, oh 0:07:10.440 --> 0:07:12.360 you guys. I just got my results on a second 0:07:13.000 --> 0:07:17.640 I didn't open it yet. Of what my test results? 0:07:17.960 --> 0:07:22.520 Did I pass the gluecas test? Didn't you fail? Uh? 0:07:23.240 --> 0:07:24.280 One of my kids? 0:07:24.360 --> 0:07:27.520 I think the last one. I failed the first one 0:07:27.560 --> 0:07:29.160 but then passed the second one, so I was. 0:07:29.120 --> 0:07:32.640 Never I failed one. I really one? Yeah did you? 0:07:33.560 --> 0:07:35.200 And I went back and it was fine, but it's 0:07:35.240 --> 0:07:37.720 so gross and then when you get back was awful. 0:07:37.840 --> 0:07:41.080 You're there for like all day? All right, drum roll 0:07:41.160 --> 0:07:49.000 please you passed? It's not loading in this little gotage 0:07:49.080 --> 0:07:54.920 that could so uh oh great, I passed. You don't 0:07:54.960 --> 0:07:59.200 have to go drink it, and the space because she goes, well, 0:07:59.200 --> 0:08:01.880 the problem was is I they say fasting, you don't 0:08:01.880 --> 0:08:04.920 have to fast, but that you should have low sugar 0:08:05.400 --> 0:08:07.280 going into it. But the only thing that helps my 0:08:07.320 --> 0:08:10.000 belly is orange juice and peaches, which is gonna make 0:08:10.040 --> 0:08:12.640 you fail that. Yeah, right, So I'm like, okay, I 0:08:12.640 --> 0:08:15.880 don't want to throw up. Had the kids that morning, 0:08:15.920 --> 0:08:19.240 Alan was doing his thing, and so then I'm like, 0:08:20.000 --> 0:08:21.480 I was starting to feel really sick, so I'm like, 0:08:21.520 --> 0:08:24.680 I'm just gonna take baby SIPs of OJ and then 0:08:24.760 --> 0:08:27.040 I'm gonna have I went to Whole Foods and got 0:08:27.080 --> 0:08:29.040 a zero sugar because they're like just low sugar, So 0:08:29.080 --> 0:08:31.440 I got a zero sugar cattle in a crunch cereal. 0:08:32.000 --> 0:08:34.240 So then I started munching on that, and then like 0:08:34.320 --> 0:08:36.280 three hours before I didn't have anything. But she's like, 0:08:36.320 --> 0:08:36.880 did you fast? 0:08:36.880 --> 0:08:43.640 And I go, oh, did you immediately know you're lying? 0:08:44.600 --> 0:08:46.400 I don't know, but she was a lot of times 0:08:46.520 --> 0:08:48.680 they just want you to say what they need you 0:08:48.720 --> 0:08:51.679 to say, and they understand that you at your third baby, 0:08:51.760 --> 0:08:53.920 know what you need to do yeah, so that I'm like, Okay, 0:08:53.920 --> 0:08:55.640 if I fail, I'm gonna just call my doctor and 0:08:55.640 --> 0:09:00.480 be like, so I had a whole gallon of orange shoes. Anyways, 0:09:00.920 --> 0:09:08.319 so we have a guest today coming on. I love 0:09:08.400 --> 0:09:11.440 the show. I watched the show selling Sense. You got 0:09:11.440 --> 0:09:15.920 me into the show, and I love Amansa. She's probably 0:09:15.960 --> 0:09:20.960 one of my favorites same, but I'm also how do 0:09:21.000 --> 0:09:23.560 I say this? I feel like she's got so much 0:09:23.600 --> 0:09:27.160 that she wants to say but doesn't say yes m 0:09:27.320 --> 0:09:32.640 hm when it comes to like her past relationships, and 0:09:32.679 --> 0:09:35.800 then it's like I could see her eyes working in 0:09:35.840 --> 0:09:40.680 moments like when Krishelle and Nicole are having their issue. 0:09:40.840 --> 0:09:42.719 I feel like she holds it together really well. But 0:09:42.720 --> 0:09:46.400 at the same time, I'm like, if she was to unleash, 0:09:46.400 --> 0:09:49.120 I'd want to listen because she's probably has a lot 0:09:49.160 --> 0:09:49.480 to say. 0:09:50.000 --> 0:09:52.040 Yeah, And I always wonder if it's just because she's 0:09:52.040 --> 0:09:54.520 like single mom in it and she's just trying to like, 0:09:55.080 --> 0:09:57.600 you know, keep it together because of her kids, or 0:09:57.640 --> 0:10:00.640 if that's just her personality or you know, I'm all 0:10:00.679 --> 0:10:01.880 I am very curious about that. 0:10:02.080 --> 0:10:03.439 But I just asked her, what do you want to 0:10:03.480 --> 0:10:04.000 ask her? 0:10:04.400 --> 0:10:06.640 That, but also I feel like if you were on 0:10:06.679 --> 0:10:08.760 the other side of it, and I love this about 0:10:08.760 --> 0:10:11.400 her though it's not a negative thing, like i'd be terrified. 0:10:12.440 --> 0:10:14.640 Oh for sure, you know, like in a good way. Yeah, 0:10:14.760 --> 0:10:19.040 Like she's a bad her on my side, waiting to erupt. 0:10:19.400 --> 0:10:21.000 She's in the waiting room, so. 0:10:22.960 --> 0:10:23.640 Let's just get her on. 0:10:24.000 --> 0:10:41.960 Okay, let's do it. Hold on, Hey, I just love you. 0:10:43.440 --> 0:10:44.040 Look at you. 0:10:44.920 --> 0:10:48.240 Oh god, thanks. I don't feel c I will take that. 0:10:48.840 --> 0:10:53.360 Receive it. I just learned something the other day, is anybody, no, 0:10:53.520 --> 0:10:53.760 this is. 0:10:55.920 --> 0:10:56.240 Okay? 0:10:56.440 --> 0:11:01.360 So I'm not good at taking compliments. No, I'm like, yeah, 0:11:01.400 --> 0:11:03.360 it's like weird. But my husband it's like kind of 0:11:03.360 --> 0:11:04.960 been the thing for him. He's like, how come your 0:11:05.000 --> 0:11:06.599 girlfriends will be like, oh, you look so cute, and 0:11:06.600 --> 0:11:08.040 I'm like, oh, thanks girl, I needed to hear it, 0:11:08.120 --> 0:11:10.320 you know. But if he says it, I'm like, oh yeah, 0:11:10.360 --> 0:11:12.720 you know. So the other day my girlfriend said that 0:11:12.840 --> 0:11:16.199 if you say you if somebody gives you a compliment, 0:11:16.280 --> 0:11:19.880 you're supposed to go received, and it makes it kind 0:11:19.880 --> 0:11:20.520 of like joke. 0:11:20.720 --> 0:11:21.720 I don't know about that. 0:11:22.040 --> 0:11:24.840 It like makes it a joke if nobody can see 0:11:24.840 --> 0:11:26.360 me when they listen to this, but it's like you 0:11:26.400 --> 0:11:29.000 have to like bring your hand in like you grabbed something. 0:11:29.240 --> 0:11:32.000 And I just feel like that's just not going to 0:11:32.080 --> 0:11:32.520 work for me. 0:11:34.160 --> 0:11:37.280 I feel like my kids would be like, what are 0:11:37.280 --> 0:11:42.760 you doing? You just feel weirder. Every day you'd get weirder, 0:11:43.040 --> 0:11:45.360 Like today, I was taking my kids to school, and 0:11:45.880 --> 0:11:48.560 my son had like a little bit of a It's 0:11:48.600 --> 0:11:51.760 the second week of school. They started last Wednesday. It's 0:11:51.760 --> 0:11:53.080 the second week of school. I'm going to call him 0:11:53.080 --> 0:11:55.040 out right now. I've already gotten a call from the principal. 0:11:55.840 --> 0:11:56.520 Wait, how old? 0:11:56.679 --> 0:11:57.640 How old are the kids again? 0:11:58.520 --> 0:12:01.560 So my son's twelve, when my daughter's so seventh and eighth, 0:12:02.960 --> 0:12:06.319 and they're both amazing kids. But it's just I don't 0:12:06.360 --> 0:12:08.679 know if you guys have boys, girls, one of each both. 0:12:11.320 --> 0:12:14.000 Like everybody's trying to warn me, like, oh, your daughter's 0:12:14.120 --> 0:12:16.800 a teenager now, she's probably sassy and rolls her eyes, 0:12:16.840 --> 0:12:21.240 and I'm like, she's like the perfect child. She's like, 0:12:21.520 --> 0:12:24.839 that's a great, perfect child. And my son's a great kid. 0:12:24.880 --> 0:12:27.680 But it's just he's a boy. Like there's something missing. 0:12:28.080 --> 0:12:31.559 There's just a law team, because that's what we're missing. 0:12:31.760 --> 0:12:35.040 We're missing like a whole. It's the same like we 0:12:35.080 --> 0:12:37.440 need a legal team for my son and he's only five. 0:12:38.640 --> 0:12:41.720 Oh shit, you've got a long way to. 0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:44.439 Go in my son's room today after So we'll go 0:12:44.720 --> 0:12:46.480 back to the weirdness on the way to school today 0:12:46.480 --> 0:12:48.280 because like I kind of went off on him on 0:12:48.280 --> 0:12:50.920 the way home from the school yesterday. I was like 0:12:51.240 --> 0:12:52.760 not going to say anything. I was gonna. I was like, 0:12:52.800 --> 0:12:54.520 just wait until you get home. Don't say in front 0:12:54.520 --> 0:12:56.959 of no Onah knows my daughter. Don't talk about what happened. 0:12:57.000 --> 0:12:58.640 And it wasn't like a huge big deal, but it 0:12:58.679 --> 0:13:01.360 was like he was a phone call the second week 0:13:01.400 --> 0:13:04.520 of school and I'm like really, Breaker, like already and 0:13:04.720 --> 0:13:07.520 it was like something minimal, but I couldn't hold it in. 0:13:07.559 --> 0:13:09.280 It was like what and diarrhea of the mouth. And 0:13:09.320 --> 0:13:10.959 then that's morning on the way to school. 0:13:11.040 --> 0:13:15.040 Oh fitting for our early conversation, go ahead. 0:13:15.880 --> 0:13:17.640 I felt bad about it and I was like I 0:13:17.880 --> 0:13:19.280 put my hand in the back seat and I was 0:13:19.320 --> 0:13:22.400 like Breaker, it's like and he takes my hand. I'm like, 0:13:22.559 --> 0:13:23.839 are we going to have a good day to day? 0:13:24.640 --> 0:13:29.160 And he's like, yeah, I try to have a good day. 0:13:29.679 --> 0:13:31.600 My hand I don't know why I hold my hand. 0:13:31.600 --> 0:13:36.080 It just felt right and he was just like, okay, yeah, 0:13:36.120 --> 0:13:42.360 And so if I do this and receive compliments like 0:13:42.520 --> 0:13:46.120 a Petuli necklace and crystals in my hands at all times, 0:13:46.120 --> 0:13:49.360 away from just like totally losing all hope and anything 0:13:49.400 --> 0:13:50.800 except for spirituality. 0:13:51.280 --> 0:13:54.240 I asked my fourteen year old son the other day, 0:13:54.240 --> 0:13:55.720 I said, Hey, kyn do you want to talk about 0:13:55.760 --> 0:13:58.400 your feelings? He looked at me and he goes feelings 0:13:58.640 --> 0:14:00.600 and I was like, okay, never mind, and there's that. 0:14:02.160 --> 0:14:02.240 It. 0:14:03.280 --> 0:14:05.679 Yeah, so wait, how long have you been single? Mom 0:14:05.760 --> 0:14:06.080 in it for. 0:14:08.240 --> 0:14:11.160 Well, technically since they were one and two. That's when 0:14:11.200 --> 0:14:15.680 I got a divorce, but like since baby Daddy like 0:14:15.800 --> 0:14:18.719 disappeared from the face of the earth four years. 0:14:19.400 --> 0:14:20.440 Yeah, so for. 0:14:20.440 --> 0:14:22.960 Seven years I was you know, it was a week 0:14:23.040 --> 0:14:26.440 on and a week off, so I didn't. Now I'm like, 0:14:26.600 --> 0:14:29.000 did I ever call myself a single monk? Because that 0:14:29.560 --> 0:14:32.920 felt way different. You know, you got I got a break. 0:14:32.920 --> 0:14:35.800 I got a one week break at least to like 0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:38.680 do all my stuff, work extra hard while with my friends, 0:14:39.160 --> 0:14:43.240 and then suddenly, like overnight, it was like, oh, just kidding, 0:14:43.320 --> 0:14:46.080 it's all on you. So that was four years at 0:14:46.160 --> 0:14:49.320 the end of August. 0:14:49.440 --> 0:14:52.160 Yeah, how was that with the kids, like telling them like, 0:14:52.240 --> 0:14:56.600 hey dad, it was I can't even imagine. 0:14:56.920 --> 0:15:00.680 Yes, you know, they were, shoot, my daughter was about 0:15:00.720 --> 0:15:03.120 to turn ten, because that was a big deal. It 0:15:03.160 --> 0:15:06.200 was like they had been talking about her double digit 0:15:06.320 --> 0:15:09.600 birthday and it was like leading to so she was 0:15:09.640 --> 0:15:12.040 almost ten, and then I guess my son was eight. 0:15:13.480 --> 0:15:17.240 You know. At first, it was like, I mean I 0:15:17.280 --> 0:15:21.240 still have no idea, like literally no idea what happened 0:15:21.240 --> 0:15:23.080 other than he filed a paper with the court at 0:15:23.120 --> 0:15:26.560 one point saying that he just couldn't do it anymore 0:15:26.560 --> 0:15:31.440 and he like relinquished all rights and responsibilities. But for 0:15:31.600 --> 0:15:32.960 like a year and a half before I knew that 0:15:33.000 --> 0:15:36.520 paper existed, it was, you know, I got a book 0:15:36.520 --> 0:15:39.320 called When the Brain Breaks and talked about how your 0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:41.560 brain can get sick, like your body can get sick, 0:15:41.640 --> 0:15:44.720 and maybe Daddy's brain is sick right now. He needs 0:15:44.760 --> 0:15:47.720 time to heal his brain so that he can come 0:15:47.760 --> 0:15:49.360 back and be the daddy that you know he is. 0:15:49.440 --> 0:15:53.120 And you know, that went on for like a couple 0:15:53.120 --> 0:15:56.720 of months, and then it was like it was brutal, 0:15:56.840 --> 0:15:59.680 Like at the beginning, if one of them wasn't crying 0:15:59.720 --> 0:16:01.520 them so to sleep at night, the other one was, 0:16:01.560 --> 0:16:03.680 and then I would go to bed and cry myself 0:16:03.680 --> 0:16:06.400 to sleep. And this was just like a cycle for 0:16:06.840 --> 0:16:08.840 you know. That was like for a few months of 0:16:08.920 --> 0:16:10.880 just like trying to answer questions that I didn't know 0:16:10.880 --> 0:16:14.440 the answers to. And then they just sort of stopped asking. 0:16:14.600 --> 0:16:17.200 But obviously I would always check in. We still check in, 0:16:17.280 --> 0:16:19.880 We still talk about it. They have a talk doctor, 0:16:19.960 --> 0:16:24.520 you know, they talk about their feelings, and it's just 0:16:24.640 --> 0:16:27.720 we've kind of settled into this new reality. You know, 0:16:27.760 --> 0:16:32.480 we've had four years to just accept it. It doesn't 0:16:32.520 --> 0:16:36.240 get any easier, like emotionally when I think about it. 0:16:36.320 --> 0:16:39.280 But I think they're doing better than me, to be honest, 0:16:39.360 --> 0:16:42.120 I think they're so kids are so resilient. I mean 0:16:42.120 --> 0:16:44.800 everybody always says that, but I think as parents we 0:16:44.840 --> 0:16:46.720 take on like all their feelings, like, oh my god, 0:16:46.760 --> 0:16:49.520 they must be feeling this, this and this, And I 0:16:49.560 --> 0:16:54.680 don't think that they really feel as bad about a 0:16:54.720 --> 0:16:58.040 lot of the stuff. Is like I think that they do, 0:16:58.960 --> 0:17:01.120 and so that you just, you know, you kind of 0:17:01.120 --> 0:17:03.080 interpret like what you think that they're feeling, and then 0:17:03.080 --> 0:17:03.960 it just makes you feel. 0:17:03.760 --> 0:17:08.119 Like crap, I can't even imagine that piece. And that's 0:17:08.359 --> 0:17:10.520 whenever I do watch the show too, I'm always just 0:17:10.560 --> 0:17:14.399 like I just you're so authentic in being the single 0:17:14.400 --> 0:17:17.520 mom and everything that you have to juggle. I almost think, 0:17:17.600 --> 0:17:19.439 like when I look at you and I see the 0:17:19.480 --> 0:17:23.159 other girls problems, it's almost like in my brain if 0:17:23.160 --> 0:17:24.600 I was you, I'd be like you girls don't even 0:17:24.680 --> 0:17:27.560 understand half of like what a problem is when you're 0:17:27.600 --> 0:17:30.160 trying to and like that piece I can't even imagine, 0:17:30.240 --> 0:17:34.160 Like how you close your don't you don't say that 0:17:34.600 --> 0:17:36.400 you know a lot, And it's like you you really 0:17:36.440 --> 0:17:38.199 hold your composure when you can be like you have 0:17:38.280 --> 0:17:41.040 no idea what hard looks like, and you're what you're 0:17:41.080 --> 0:17:42.760 having to do for your kids and you and then 0:17:42.800 --> 0:17:45.920 holding that unknown space for for your family, Like that's 0:17:45.960 --> 0:17:47.480 got to be so hard. 0:17:48.680 --> 0:17:51.440 It's pretty hard. I mean, you're right, Like a lot 0:17:51.480 --> 0:17:53.480 of the there's other single moms on. 0:17:53.480 --> 0:17:58.120 The sure, like Nick Cannon's. 0:17:57.280 --> 0:18:00.920 Their situations are a little different, Like yeah, and I 0:18:00.920 --> 0:18:04.040 had Doraberry, I like really do Doraberry, And she's a 0:18:04.080 --> 0:18:06.520 really good mama like you. I could tell him two 0:18:06.520 --> 0:18:08.400 seconds like she was I didn't want to like her. 0:18:08.560 --> 0:18:11.399 Like I was like, this is my this is my seat, 0:18:11.520 --> 0:18:15.440 my uh yeah, my seat my season season I guess yeah, 0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:17.919 season six. I was like, there's this new girl and 0:18:18.480 --> 0:18:20.639 she's a brunette and she's pretty, and she's a real 0:18:20.760 --> 0:18:23.960 estate agent. She's got this kid and she's a single mom. 0:18:24.000 --> 0:18:26.399 And I was like, she's gonna come in here and 0:18:26.440 --> 0:18:28.720 act like we have so much in common and we 0:18:28.840 --> 0:18:31.320 have nothing in common. She has one kid, she's got 0:18:31.320 --> 0:18:33.000 a baby daddy that probably gives her all this money, 0:18:33.040 --> 0:18:36.080 and like I just was like ready to not like somebody, 0:18:36.080 --> 0:18:39.000 because that's like my thing. I like everybody. And then 0:18:39.000 --> 0:18:41.040 I'm like, oh, it's the mediator and I'm like the 0:18:41.119 --> 0:18:43.239 voice of reason and I was like I need to 0:18:43.280 --> 0:18:47.359 like stir some shit up. It didn't work. She walked 0:18:47.359 --> 0:18:49.879 in and like in two seconds after, everybody was like 0:18:50.000 --> 0:18:52.760 asking her a million questions and she just took it 0:18:52.800 --> 0:18:55.480 like a champ and like her situation is her situation 0:18:55.520 --> 0:18:57.760 and she's very happy with it. And I could tell 0:18:57.800 --> 0:19:00.600 him and she loved her son, and I was like, crap, 0:19:01.119 --> 0:19:04.919 I really like her, but we but saying all that 0:19:05.080 --> 0:19:07.359 to say, we still have nothing in common except for 0:19:07.400 --> 0:19:10.240 that we both have. We're not married to the people 0:19:10.280 --> 0:19:12.760 that we had our kids with, Like I'm not getting 0:19:12.800 --> 0:19:15.960 Lamborghini's for my birthday, and you know, I'm I don't 0:19:15.960 --> 0:19:19.119 get child support from the missing man in the world. 0:19:20.600 --> 0:19:22.720