1 00:00:01,920 --> 00:00:05,399 Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio podcast 2 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:07,400 Speaker 1: last week. 3 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:08,320 Speaker 2: Uh oh. 4 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:10,680 Speaker 3: Not in the new House. 5 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:15,600 Speaker 1: Oh no. Why do I always feel like I've done 6 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:18,319 Speaker 1: I'm wrong. I don't know what is that. There's some 7 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:21,040 Speaker 1: sort of ambush thing I'm always waiting for with you too, 8 00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: I think that I don't know, we can dig deeper 9 00:00:24,239 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 1: with Amy maybe and have a group sash interesting because 10 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:29,960 Speaker 1: I'm like, you're like, am I I was thinking you 11 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:33,400 Speaker 1: were a say am I fired? Or about that? Because 12 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,760 Speaker 1: we're friends forever. So if I'm not on the podcast, 13 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:38,120 Speaker 1: it's like I'll be sad because I love everyone. But 14 00:00:38,159 --> 00:00:40,440 Speaker 1: I'm also like, that's fine, right, Yeah, I mean not 15 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:43,959 Speaker 1: in a way. I just the bottom can fall out 16 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:46,120 Speaker 1: in radio anytime, and since I did radio, I think 17 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:47,880 Speaker 1: I'm just always ready for that. Yeah. 18 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:50,160 Speaker 3: It's funny because I'm the girl that's like, don't send 19 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:52,360 Speaker 3: me a dot dot dot Like if she sends if 20 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:54,240 Speaker 3: I get a dot dot dot on the text, I'm 21 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:55,160 Speaker 3: like and I'm fired. 22 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:56,160 Speaker 4: No. 23 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 1: Oh, I don't like it when Jana goes, hey are 24 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,640 Speaker 1: you around in ten? Oh? Well, I think we talked 25 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 1: about that a couple of weeks ago, and I did 26 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:06,360 Speaker 1: it to Kat but I'm also the same human with 27 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:09,080 Speaker 1: that too, So I girls, I get it. I'm counting 28 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:16,320 Speaker 1: my bad Okay, yes, so this is the last I 29 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:19,640 Speaker 1: gotta tell you, though, I've really loved staying in this cottage. 30 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:21,080 Speaker 3: It's adorable. 31 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:24,600 Speaker 1: It's a two bedroom, one bath. The only issue is 32 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 1: you guys, this is so embarrassing. 33 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:30,880 Speaker 3: Oh no, open yeah, yeah, I don't there was one bathroom. 34 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:32,959 Speaker 1: Tell me, can we do we have Do we have 35 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:35,080 Speaker 1: a minute to talk about number two with the number 36 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:36,160 Speaker 1: one girls? Yes? 37 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:36,760 Speaker 2: Okay. 38 00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:42,800 Speaker 1: So this is always tricky to me because I feel like, okay, 39 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:45,680 Speaker 1: so like I oh, first of all, in order to go, 40 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:48,160 Speaker 1: I'm just we're just gonna what are we gonna call it? 41 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:52,680 Speaker 1: It's good Mark Kramer. No, No, that sounds like there's 42 00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:55,840 Speaker 1: a story there. There's a story that's vaulted for a 43 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:56,280 Speaker 1: few of them. 44 00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:56,720 Speaker 2: Yeah. 45 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:00,880 Speaker 1: No, I feel like I can't comfortably go to the 46 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:04,000 Speaker 1: bathroom unless there's like at least like two locked doors 47 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 1: between me and the other whoever is next in my house? Right? 48 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:08,720 Speaker 3: I don't even lock the door. 49 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:12,560 Speaker 1: So this is my question. So when you poop? Oh 50 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:15,480 Speaker 1: never seen you poop? 51 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:20,400 Speaker 3: I mean maybe, but it's really like I'm saying like 52 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:29,720 Speaker 3: maybe something are. 53 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:30,600 Speaker 1: No, I'm just saying that supplements we get use to 54 00:02:30,639 --> 00:02:31,560 Speaker 1: get you out of that. 55 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,240 Speaker 3: Little I highly doubt it, but I mean I'm sure 56 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,320 Speaker 3: at some point, like in a hotel, you know, I 57 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:38,160 Speaker 3: just like in the hotels they have like clear doors on, 58 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:46,239 Speaker 3: like there's got to be I do that. I feel like, yeah, anyway, 59 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:46,919 Speaker 3: I don't lock the door. 60 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,359 Speaker 1: No, Like I can't even go when the three of 61 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:51,800 Speaker 1: us are out traveling and you guys are like a safe, 62 00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:57,240 Speaker 1: cozy place for me. Not until everybody leaves the room 63 00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,120 Speaker 1: and gives turns their keys into me. 64 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:01,919 Speaker 3: Janna is like, hey, guys, I need you all to 65 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 3: talk and I needs to talk real loud, and then 66 00:03:03,919 --> 00:03:04,520 Speaker 3: she goes in. 67 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:06,680 Speaker 1: This is how fast it is. Danna goes in, closes 68 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,480 Speaker 1: the door, and she goes dropping out, and Jane opens 69 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,080 Speaker 1: the door and she's all done. The thing is, though, 70 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:13,840 Speaker 1: is that I don't I think and I don't know 71 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:16,359 Speaker 1: what it is, but the most uncomfortable thing even when 72 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:23,520 Speaker 1: I'm like in a restroom and someone does like but 73 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:25,520 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm like, sorry, girl, that sucks. 74 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:25,880 Speaker 4: You know. 75 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:29,400 Speaker 1: I feel bad for the person, but are you? But 76 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:32,840 Speaker 1: That's why I'm always like talk loud whatever, Alan like 77 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,280 Speaker 1: puts on a shower, like he'll he'll like run the 78 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:38,840 Speaker 1: water in this small thing. Like he usually goes upstairs. 79 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:40,640 Speaker 1: Like I kind of got when he moved into the 80 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:43,280 Speaker 1: last house. I kind of got what he was doing. 81 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:45,520 Speaker 1: Like he'd go upstairs and he's like, I'm just making 82 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 1: the kids beds because he's so cute, he like makes 83 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:49,560 Speaker 1: the kids' beds. But I'm like, no, I think now 84 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:51,839 Speaker 1: you're just going up there, like that's your like, that's 85 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:54,520 Speaker 1: his time, that's his You're you're going up there to poop. Yeah, 86 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,600 Speaker 1: you're making a bedroom and dropping the kids off of 87 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 1: the bool? 88 00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:58,640 Speaker 2: Is that what you have to do? 89 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:00,640 Speaker 3: Does it take him around? Does that issue off since 90 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:01,800 Speaker 3: it takes you two seconds? 91 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:05,320 Speaker 1: Oh no, So I don't even really know, like I 92 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:07,720 Speaker 1: know when he does go, because again he'll turn the 93 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:09,920 Speaker 1: thing on or he'll go upstairs like in the other houses. 94 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:13,480 Speaker 1: But here it's like you can just tell because it's 95 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:17,320 Speaker 1: like again it's maybe a nine hundred no eight hundred 96 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:20,719 Speaker 1: square foot cottage we're in right now. And so but 97 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:25,520 Speaker 1: when I have to go, so I still like, will 98 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:32,760 Speaker 1: dry heave to like smells and stuff? Do you dry well? Obviously? 99 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:36,880 Speaker 1: Because it's disgusting. But it doesn't matter. I can't even 100 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:40,120 Speaker 1: like any like even the other day, Alan tried to 101 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:42,880 Speaker 1: kiss me and like his like moisturizer smell, like it 102 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:46,039 Speaker 1: smells just really get me mm hmmm. And so I 103 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,480 Speaker 1: like have to like run out of the bathroom, you know, 104 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:50,240 Speaker 1: but then I have forget to like go back and 105 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:52,719 Speaker 1: check that like all things went down. 106 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:53,960 Speaker 4: Oh no. 107 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,400 Speaker 1: And then he said the other day, He's like, Babe, 108 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:58,800 Speaker 1: did you use the bathroom? I was like, no, one 109 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:05,520 Speaker 1: of the kids went before, and he's like he's like real, 110 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:07,320 Speaker 1: because the kids haven't been here in two days. He's 111 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:09,400 Speaker 1: like he's like, I got them ready this morning. I 112 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:11,080 Speaker 1: was like, yeah, Well then then when then Jays had 113 00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:12,680 Speaker 1: to run back in to go to the bathroom, and 114 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:14,920 Speaker 1: I was like, why is it so hard to be like, yeah, 115 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:17,880 Speaker 1: I totally took a dump. I forgot to like go 116 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:20,000 Speaker 1: back in to make sure nothing was like still there. 117 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:23,159 Speaker 1: I know, it is interesting, especially because like we have babies. 118 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:26,520 Speaker 1: I know, I'm like, I don't bother me, Like Preston 119 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:30,159 Speaker 1: has legitimately seen me deliver three babies, and I'm still 120 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:34,200 Speaker 1: like lock that door and don't come over here. I know, sorry, guys, 121 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,680 Speaker 1: this is like but it is a real thing, and 122 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:39,320 Speaker 1: I don't understand why exactly why because we could go 123 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,320 Speaker 1: I mean during the heyday, I could just be in 124 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:43,760 Speaker 1: the middle of a field and go pee if I 125 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:46,320 Speaker 1: needed to. You know, I think it feels less sexy 126 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:48,520 Speaker 1: and like I don't want him to see like because 127 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:51,640 Speaker 1: it is because it is. Yeah, but it's also human, 128 00:05:51,839 --> 00:05:55,839 Speaker 1: just like periods and everything else. But anyways, so but 129 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:58,039 Speaker 1: I still don't want anybody to see that. Having said 130 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:00,279 Speaker 1: all that, as much as I love this place, I 131 00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:04,960 Speaker 1: cannot wait to go have a separate bathroom for moments 132 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:05,360 Speaker 1: like this. 133 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:07,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, he can have his own poop bathroom. 134 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:09,400 Speaker 1: He can have your own poop bathroom. Yeah. And then 135 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:11,600 Speaker 1: guess what what Easton's coming? 136 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:12,040 Speaker 4: Next time. 137 00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:15,440 Speaker 1: I didn't know that Eastern was coming, and I got 138 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:19,040 Speaker 1: a surprise face time. He was with Preston in l 139 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:21,080 Speaker 1: A and he goes, I'm coming to see you, and 140 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:23,359 Speaker 1: I said, wait, what it's like Eastern Christmas. 141 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:23,920 Speaker 4: Yeah. 142 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:27,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, he's going to set us up. We're going to 143 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:29,960 Speaker 1: have a whole new look. So next time you see us, 144 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:30,720 Speaker 1: we're gonna have a. 145 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:31,320 Speaker 4: Whole new look. 146 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:34,880 Speaker 1: Should we like start getting dressed for this. No, okay, 147 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:40,800 Speaker 1: this is what I like about. Talk to me Bo's baby, like, 148 00:06:40,839 --> 00:06:42,360 Speaker 1: are we going to have a real set? And now 149 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:45,200 Speaker 1: we should actually look the part because I really like 150 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:48,400 Speaker 1: Aaron running stay at home mom. No, but we're gonna 151 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,320 Speaker 1: have it's going to be like we're really going to 152 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:51,840 Speaker 1: just make it look good, y'all. We're gonna have a 153 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:54,159 Speaker 1: nice big TV that we can see and we're staring 154 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:57,360 Speaker 1: at this little you know, it's going to be like, yeah, 155 00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:59,400 Speaker 1: it's gonna be great. I do miss the ring light 156 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:02,680 Speaker 1: and I just say that really pretty light that we 157 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:07,440 Speaker 1: had at your house. Look at something I would feel 158 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:10,400 Speaker 1: better and think just a little something. But anyways, oh 159 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:12,360 Speaker 1: you guys. I just got my results on a second 160 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:17,640 Speaker 1: I didn't open it yet. Of what my test results? 161 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:22,520 Speaker 1: Did I pass the gluecas test? Didn't you fail? Uh? 162 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:24,280 Speaker 1: One of my kids? 163 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:27,520 Speaker 3: I think the last one. I failed the first one 164 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:29,160 Speaker 3: but then passed the second one, so I was. 165 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:32,640 Speaker 1: Never I failed one. I really one? Yeah did you? 166 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:35,200 Speaker 1: And I went back and it was fine, but it's 167 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:37,720 Speaker 1: so gross and then when you get back was awful. 168 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:41,080 Speaker 1: You're there for like all day? All right, drum roll 169 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:49,000 Speaker 1: please you passed? It's not loading in this little gotage 170 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:54,920 Speaker 1: that could so uh oh great, I passed. You don't 171 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:59,200 Speaker 1: have to go drink it, and the space because she goes, well, 172 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,880 Speaker 1: the problem was is I they say fasting, you don't 173 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,920 Speaker 1: have to fast, but that you should have low sugar 174 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:07,280 Speaker 1: going into it. But the only thing that helps my 175 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,000 Speaker 1: belly is orange juice and peaches, which is gonna make 176 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:12,640 Speaker 1: you fail that. Yeah, right, So I'm like, okay, I 177 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:15,880 Speaker 1: don't want to throw up. Had the kids that morning, 178 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:19,240 Speaker 1: Alan was doing his thing, and so then I'm like, 179 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,480 Speaker 1: I was starting to feel really sick, so I'm like, 180 00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:24,680 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna take baby SIPs of OJ and then 181 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:27,040 Speaker 1: I'm gonna have I went to Whole Foods and got 182 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:29,040 Speaker 1: a zero sugar because they're like just low sugar, So 183 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:31,440 Speaker 1: I got a zero sugar cattle in a crunch cereal. 184 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,240 Speaker 1: So then I started munching on that, and then like 185 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:36,280 Speaker 1: three hours before I didn't have anything. But she's like, 186 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:36,880 Speaker 1: did you fast? 187 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:43,640 Speaker 3: And I go, oh, did you immediately know you're lying? 188 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,400 Speaker 1: I don't know, but she was a lot of times 189 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:48,680 Speaker 1: they just want you to say what they need you 190 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:51,679 Speaker 1: to say, and they understand that you at your third baby, 191 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:53,920 Speaker 1: know what you need to do yeah, so that I'm like, Okay, 192 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:55,640 Speaker 1: if I fail, I'm gonna just call my doctor and 193 00:08:55,640 --> 00:09:00,480 Speaker 1: be like, so I had a whole gallon of orange shoes. Anyways, 194 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:08,319 Speaker 1: so we have a guest today coming on. I love 195 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:11,440 Speaker 1: the show. I watched the show selling Sense. You got 196 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:15,920 Speaker 1: me into the show, and I love Amansa. She's probably 197 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:20,960 Speaker 1: one of my favorites same, but I'm also how do 198 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,560 Speaker 1: I say this? I feel like she's got so much 199 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:27,160 Speaker 1: that she wants to say but doesn't say yes m 200 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:32,640 Speaker 1: hm when it comes to like her past relationships, and 201 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:35,800 Speaker 1: then it's like I could see her eyes working in 202 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:40,680 Speaker 1: moments like when Krishelle and Nicole are having their issue. 203 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:42,719 Speaker 1: I feel like she holds it together really well. But 204 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:46,400 Speaker 1: at the same time, I'm like, if she was to unleash, 205 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:49,120 Speaker 1: I'd want to listen because she's probably has a lot 206 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:49,480 Speaker 1: to say. 207 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, And I always wonder if it's just because she's 208 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:54,520 Speaker 3: like single mom in it and she's just trying to like, 209 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:57,600 Speaker 3: you know, keep it together because of her kids, or 210 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,640 Speaker 3: if that's just her personality or you know, I'm all 211 00:10:00,679 --> 00:10:01,880 Speaker 3: I am very curious about that. 212 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:03,439 Speaker 1: But I just asked her, what do you want to 213 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:04,000 Speaker 1: ask her? 214 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,640 Speaker 3: That, but also I feel like if you were on 215 00:10:06,679 --> 00:10:08,760 Speaker 3: the other side of it, and I love this about 216 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:11,400 Speaker 3: her though it's not a negative thing, like i'd be terrified. 217 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:14,640 Speaker 1: Oh for sure, you know, like in a good way. Yeah, 218 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:19,040 Speaker 1: Like she's a bad her on my side, waiting to erupt. 219 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,000 Speaker 1: She's in the waiting room, so. 220 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:23,640 Speaker 2: Let's just get her on. 221 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:41,960 Speaker 1: Okay, let's do it. Hold on, Hey, I just love you. 222 00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:44,040 Speaker 1: Look at you. 223 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:48,240 Speaker 4: Oh god, thanks. I don't feel c I will take that. 224 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:53,360 Speaker 1: Receive it. I just learned something the other day, is anybody, no, 225 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:53,760 Speaker 1: this is. 226 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:56,240 Speaker 2: Okay? 227 00:10:56,440 --> 00:11:01,360 Speaker 1: So I'm not good at taking compliments. No, I'm like, yeah, 228 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:03,360 Speaker 1: it's like weird. But my husband it's like kind of 229 00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:04,960 Speaker 1: been the thing for him. He's like, how come your 230 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,599 Speaker 1: girlfriends will be like, oh, you look so cute, and 231 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,040 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, thanks girl, I needed to hear it, 232 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:10,320 Speaker 1: you know. But if he says it, I'm like, oh yeah, 233 00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:12,720 Speaker 1: you know. So the other day my girlfriend said that 234 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:16,199 Speaker 1: if you say you if somebody gives you a compliment, 235 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:19,880 Speaker 1: you're supposed to go received, and it makes it kind 236 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:20,520 Speaker 1: of like joke. 237 00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:21,720 Speaker 4: I don't know about that. 238 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:24,840 Speaker 1: It like makes it a joke if nobody can see 239 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:26,360 Speaker 1: me when they listen to this, but it's like you 240 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:29,000 Speaker 1: have to like bring your hand in like you grabbed something. 241 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:32,000 Speaker 1: And I just feel like that's just not going to 242 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:32,520 Speaker 1: work for me. 243 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:37,280 Speaker 4: I feel like my kids would be like, what are 244 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:42,760 Speaker 4: you doing? You just feel weirder. Every day you'd get weirder, 245 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:45,360 Speaker 4: Like today, I was taking my kids to school, and 246 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:48,560 Speaker 4: my son had like a little bit of a It's 247 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:51,760 Speaker 4: the second week of school. They started last Wednesday. It's 248 00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:53,080 Speaker 4: the second week of school. I'm going to call him 249 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,040 Speaker 4: out right now. I've already gotten a call from the principal. 250 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 2: Wait, how old? 251 00:11:56,679 --> 00:11:57,640 Speaker 1: How old are the kids again? 252 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:01,560 Speaker 4: So my son's twelve, when my daughter's so seventh and eighth, 253 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:06,319 Speaker 4: and they're both amazing kids. But it's just I don't 254 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:08,679 Speaker 4: know if you guys have boys, girls, one of each both. 255 00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:14,000 Speaker 4: Like everybody's trying to warn me, like, oh, your daughter's 256 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:16,800 Speaker 4: a teenager now, she's probably sassy and rolls her eyes, 257 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:21,240 Speaker 4: and I'm like, she's like the perfect child. She's like, 258 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:24,839 Speaker 4: that's a great, perfect child. And my son's a great kid. 259 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:27,680 Speaker 4: But it's just he's a boy. Like there's something missing. 260 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:31,559 Speaker 1: There's just a law team, because that's what we're missing. 261 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:35,040 Speaker 1: We're missing like a whole. It's the same like we 262 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:37,440 Speaker 1: need a legal team for my son and he's only five. 263 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:41,720 Speaker 3: Oh shit, you've got a long way to. 264 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:44,439 Speaker 4: Go in my son's room today after So we'll go 265 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,480 Speaker 4: back to the weirdness on the way to school today 266 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:48,280 Speaker 4: because like I kind of went off on him on 267 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:50,920 Speaker 4: the way home from the school yesterday. I was like 268 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:52,760 Speaker 4: not going to say anything. I was gonna. I was like, 269 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,520 Speaker 4: just wait until you get home. Don't say in front 270 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:56,959 Speaker 4: of no Onah knows my daughter. Don't talk about what happened. 271 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,640 Speaker 4: And it wasn't like a huge big deal, but it 272 00:12:58,679 --> 00:13:01,360 Speaker 4: was like he was a phone call the second week 273 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:04,520 Speaker 4: of school and I'm like really, Breaker, like already and 274 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:07,520 Speaker 4: it was like something minimal, but I couldn't hold it in. 275 00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:09,280 Speaker 4: It was like what and diarrhea of the mouth. And 276 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:10,959 Speaker 4: then that's morning on the way to school. 277 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:15,040 Speaker 1: Oh fitting for our early conversation, go ahead. 278 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:17,640 Speaker 4: I felt bad about it and I was like I 279 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,280 Speaker 4: put my hand in the back seat and I was 280 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:22,400 Speaker 4: like Breaker, it's like and he takes my hand. I'm like, 281 00:13:22,559 --> 00:13:23,839 Speaker 4: are we going to have a good day to day? 282 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:29,160 Speaker 4: And he's like, yeah, I try to have a good day. 283 00:13:29,679 --> 00:13:31,600 Speaker 4: My hand I don't know why I hold my hand. 284 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:36,080 Speaker 4: It just felt right and he was just like, okay, yeah, 285 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:42,360 Speaker 4: And so if I do this and receive compliments like 286 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:46,120 Speaker 4: a Petuli necklace and crystals in my hands at all times, 287 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:49,360 Speaker 4: away from just like totally losing all hope and anything 288 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:50,800 Speaker 4: except for spirituality. 289 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:54,240 Speaker 3: I asked my fourteen year old son the other day, 290 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:55,720 Speaker 3: I said, Hey, kyn do you want to talk about 291 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:58,400 Speaker 3: your feelings? He looked at me and he goes feelings 292 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,600 Speaker 3: and I was like, okay, never mind, and there's that. 293 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:02,240 Speaker 4: It. 294 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:05,679 Speaker 1: Yeah, so wait, how long have you been single? Mom 295 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:06,080 Speaker 1: in it for. 296 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:11,160 Speaker 4: Well, technically since they were one and two. That's when 297 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:15,680 Speaker 4: I got a divorce, but like since baby Daddy like 298 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:18,719 Speaker 4: disappeared from the face of the earth four years. 299 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:20,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, so for. 300 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:22,960 Speaker 4: Seven years I was you know, it was a week 301 00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:26,440 Speaker 4: on and a week off, so I didn't. Now I'm like, 302 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:29,000 Speaker 4: did I ever call myself a single monk? Because that 303 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:32,920 Speaker 4: felt way different. You know, you got I got a break. 304 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:35,800 Speaker 4: I got a one week break at least to like 305 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:38,680 Speaker 4: do all my stuff, work extra hard while with my friends, 306 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:43,240 Speaker 4: and then suddenly, like overnight, it was like, oh, just kidding, 307 00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:46,080 Speaker 4: it's all on you. So that was four years at 308 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:49,320 Speaker 4: the end of August. 309 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:52,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, how was that with the kids, like telling them like, 310 00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:56,600 Speaker 1: hey dad, it was I can't even imagine. 311 00:14:56,920 --> 00:15:00,680 Speaker 4: Yes, you know, they were, shoot, my daughter was about 312 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:03,120 Speaker 4: to turn ten, because that was a big deal. It 313 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:06,200 Speaker 4: was like they had been talking about her double digit 314 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,600 Speaker 4: birthday and it was like leading to so she was 315 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:12,040 Speaker 4: almost ten, and then I guess my son was eight. 316 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:17,240 Speaker 4: You know. At first, it was like, I mean I 317 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:21,240 Speaker 4: still have no idea, like literally no idea what happened 318 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:23,080 Speaker 4: other than he filed a paper with the court at 319 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:26,560 Speaker 4: one point saying that he just couldn't do it anymore 320 00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:31,440 Speaker 4: and he like relinquished all rights and responsibilities. But for 321 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:32,960 Speaker 4: like a year and a half before I knew that 322 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:36,520 Speaker 4: paper existed, it was, you know, I got a book 323 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:39,320 Speaker 4: called When the Brain Breaks and talked about how your 324 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:41,560 Speaker 4: brain can get sick, like your body can get sick, 325 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:44,720 Speaker 4: and maybe Daddy's brain is sick right now. He needs 326 00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:47,720 Speaker 4: time to heal his brain so that he can come 327 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:49,360 Speaker 4: back and be the daddy that you know he is. 328 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:53,120 Speaker 4: And you know, that went on for like a couple 329 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:56,720 Speaker 4: of months, and then it was like it was brutal, 330 00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:59,680 Speaker 4: Like at the beginning, if one of them wasn't crying 331 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:01,520 Speaker 4: them so to sleep at night, the other one was, 332 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,680 Speaker 4: and then I would go to bed and cry myself 333 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:06,400 Speaker 4: to sleep. And this was just like a cycle for 334 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:08,840 Speaker 4: you know. That was like for a few months of 335 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:10,880 Speaker 4: just like trying to answer questions that I didn't know 336 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:14,440 Speaker 4: the answers to. And then they just sort of stopped asking. 337 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,200 Speaker 4: But obviously I would always check in. We still check in, 338 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:19,880 Speaker 4: We still talk about it. They have a talk doctor, 339 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:24,520 Speaker 4: you know, they talk about their feelings, and it's just 340 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:27,720 Speaker 4: we've kind of settled into this new reality. You know, 341 00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:32,480 Speaker 4: we've had four years to just accept it. It doesn't 342 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:36,240 Speaker 4: get any easier, like emotionally when I think about it. 343 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:39,280 Speaker 4: But I think they're doing better than me, to be honest, 344 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:42,120 Speaker 4: I think they're so kids are so resilient. I mean 345 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:44,800 Speaker 4: everybody always says that, but I think as parents we 346 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:46,720 Speaker 4: take on like all their feelings, like, oh my god, 347 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:49,520 Speaker 4: they must be feeling this, this and this, And I 348 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:54,680 Speaker 4: don't think that they really feel as bad about a 349 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:58,040 Speaker 4: lot of the stuff. Is like I think that they do, 350 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:01,120 Speaker 4: and so that you just, you know, you kind of 351 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:03,080 Speaker 4: interpret like what you think that they're feeling, and then 352 00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:03,960 Speaker 4: it just makes you feel. 353 00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:08,119 Speaker 1: Like crap, I can't even imagine that piece. And that's 354 00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:10,520 Speaker 1: whenever I do watch the show too, I'm always just 355 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:14,399 Speaker 1: like I just you're so authentic in being the single 356 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:17,520 Speaker 1: mom and everything that you have to juggle. I almost think, 357 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:19,439 Speaker 1: like when I look at you and I see the 358 00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:23,159 Speaker 1: other girls problems, it's almost like in my brain if 359 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:24,600 Speaker 1: I was you, I'd be like you girls don't even 360 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:27,560 Speaker 1: understand half of like what a problem is when you're 361 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:30,160 Speaker 1: trying to and like that piece I can't even imagine, 362 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:34,160 Speaker 1: Like how you close your don't you don't say that 363 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,400 Speaker 1: you know a lot, And it's like you you really 364 00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:38,199 Speaker 1: hold your composure when you can be like you have 365 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:41,040 Speaker 1: no idea what hard looks like, and you're what you're 366 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:42,760 Speaker 1: having to do for your kids and you and then 367 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,920 Speaker 1: holding that unknown space for for your family, Like that's 368 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:47,480 Speaker 1: got to be so hard. 369 00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:51,440 Speaker 4: It's pretty hard. I mean, you're right, Like a lot 370 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:53,480 Speaker 4: of the there's other single moms on. 371 00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:58,120 Speaker 1: The sure, like Nick Cannon's. 372 00:17:57,280 --> 00:18:00,920 Speaker 4: Their situations are a little different, Like yeah, and I 373 00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:04,040 Speaker 4: had Doraberry, I like really do Doraberry, And she's a 374 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,520 Speaker 4: really good mama like you. I could tell him two 375 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,400 Speaker 4: seconds like she was I didn't want to like her. 376 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:11,399 Speaker 4: Like I was like, this is my this is my seat, 377 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:15,440 Speaker 4: my uh yeah, my seat my season season I guess yeah, 378 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:17,919 Speaker 4: season six. I was like, there's this new girl and 379 00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:20,639 Speaker 4: she's a brunette and she's pretty, and she's a real 380 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,960 Speaker 4: estate agent. She's got this kid and she's a single mom. 381 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,399 Speaker 4: And I was like, she's gonna come in here and 382 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,720 Speaker 4: act like we have so much in common and we 383 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:31,320 Speaker 4: have nothing in common. She has one kid, she's got 384 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,000 Speaker 4: a baby daddy that probably gives her all this money, 385 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:36,080 Speaker 4: and like I just was like ready to not like somebody, 386 00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:39,000 Speaker 4: because that's like my thing. I like everybody. And then 387 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,040 Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, it's the mediator and I'm like the 388 00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:43,239 Speaker 4: voice of reason and I was like I need to 389 00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:47,359 Speaker 4: like stir some shit up. It didn't work. She walked 390 00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:49,879 Speaker 4: in and like in two seconds after, everybody was like 391 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,760 Speaker 4: asking her a million questions and she just took it 392 00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:55,480 Speaker 4: like a champ and like her situation is her situation 393 00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:57,760 Speaker 4: and she's very happy with it. And I could tell 394 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,600 Speaker 4: him and she loved her son, and I was like, crap, 395 00:19:01,119 --> 00:19:04,919 Speaker 4: I really like her, but we but saying all that 396 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:07,359 Speaker 4: to say, we still have nothing in common except for 397 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,240 Speaker 4: that we both have. We're not married to the people 398 00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,760 Speaker 4: that we had our kids with, Like I'm not getting 399 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:15,960 Speaker 4: Lamborghini's for my birthday, and you know, I'm I don't 400 00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:19,119 Speaker 4: get child support from the missing man in the world. 401 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:22,720 Speaker 4: She's a really good mom. But yeah, it's kind of 402 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:27,960 Speaker 4: hard because you know, you everybody's expected to like dress 403 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,960 Speaker 4: the same, like, you know, we have to dress super 404 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,919 Speaker 4: cool and we got to always look great, and we've got 405 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:33,919 Speaker 4: to be on time. And it's a big one for 406 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:39,359 Speaker 4: me and telling tons of houses and doing all and 407 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:43,760 Speaker 4: I'm like I can barely even like decorate my own 408 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:47,359 Speaker 4: house and I can barely get myself out to like 409 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:51,359 Speaker 4: it's just and then people are complaining about like the 410 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:57,040 Speaker 4: most random stuff to me that it's just like, yeah, exactly, 411 00:19:57,040 --> 00:20:00,520 Speaker 4: you guys have no idea, like come over for just 412 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:03,359 Speaker 4: three days. This has been three days at my house 413 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:06,760 Speaker 4: and like walk in my shoes and you'd be like, oh, 414 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,480 Speaker 4: this is this is like. 415 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:11,240 Speaker 1: No do so going through everything that you've gone through, 416 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:14,560 Speaker 1: and you know, the they there was My therapist always 417 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:17,480 Speaker 1: says like your body holds a score. So people that 418 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:22,440 Speaker 1: I've been in abusive relationships or traumatic relationships or situations 419 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:25,960 Speaker 1: that things that you've gone through that that stress causes. 420 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:29,560 Speaker 1: I mean, it's one of a girlfriend of mine whose 421 00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:32,320 Speaker 1: husband also cheated on her and had just been years 422 00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:34,119 Speaker 1: of like you know, working through that, and she's been 423 00:20:34,119 --> 00:20:38,480 Speaker 1: in the program like for esenon that she got cancer, 424 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:41,720 Speaker 1: like and she they think that's just stress of you know, 425 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,800 Speaker 1: everything that you're going through. So I'm curious, like, do 426 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,720 Speaker 1: you think that because you've had a lot of health issues, 427 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:49,080 Speaker 1: do you think that comes from all the stress that 428 00:20:49,119 --> 00:20:50,919 Speaker 1: like your body has had to hold and carry. 429 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:57,159 Speaker 4: I do, actually, and and thank god I didn't have cancer. 430 00:20:57,240 --> 00:21:01,080 Speaker 4: I had a huge cancer scare last year and it 431 00:21:01,119 --> 00:21:04,080 Speaker 4: wasn't cancer, but I ended up having something else that 432 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:08,520 Speaker 4: almost killed me over the summer, and it's it was 433 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,919 Speaker 4: still to this. I just had to follow up my 434 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:13,320 Speaker 4: follow up appointment, one of my follow up appointments yesterday 435 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:17,479 Speaker 4: with the spine surgeon and he's still like this is 436 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,879 Speaker 4: I was only the second patient in the history of 437 00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:24,440 Speaker 4: his practice, of all his medical school of Cedar Sinai 438 00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:28,439 Speaker 4: that had this type of blood infection that got to 439 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:32,560 Speaker 4: the location that it got to on my spine. It 440 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:35,280 Speaker 4: was like, there's to me and somebody else in this 441 00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:37,879 Speaker 4: other person was way older, like in their seventies. This 442 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:43,359 Speaker 4: is like a disease that people don't normally get that 443 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:48,520 Speaker 4: are just for all intents and purposes healthy, younger, younger, ish. 444 00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:51,399 Speaker 4: You know, people a lot of people that do like 445 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:54,600 Speaker 4: a lot of intravenious drugs because it comes from it 446 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:56,919 Speaker 4: can come from like a foreign object, like if you 447 00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:59,160 Speaker 4: get a lot of like IV treatments, or you're getting 448 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:02,119 Speaker 4: a lot of needle like a lot of older people 449 00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:07,240 Speaker 4: that get dialysis get it. Obviously none of the above, 450 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,280 Speaker 4: you know, I didn't fit the mole for any of 451 00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:11,160 Speaker 4: those things. They have no idea where I got this 452 00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:16,440 Speaker 4: bacterial infection that ended up being all through my body 453 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:19,119 Speaker 4: and my blood and then sitting on my spine and 454 00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:22,720 Speaker 4: it was literally eating my spine, deteriorating the vertebrae and 455 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:25,919 Speaker 4: my spine. And I have, you know, a therapist and 456 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:29,720 Speaker 4: a spiritual therapist and psychics and which is in warlocks 457 00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:31,920 Speaker 4: and gurus. I like have a whole team of people 458 00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:34,800 Speaker 4: that I talked to. And one of the things that 459 00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:37,000 Speaker 4: one of the psychics was like, you know, before I 460 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:39,000 Speaker 4: even went into the hospital, before we knew exactly what 461 00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:42,800 Speaker 4: it was, it was sort of like she envisioned this 462 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:50,720 Speaker 4: just mass of toxic trauma basically like sitting on my spine, 463 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:55,280 Speaker 4: and I was like, that feels so like that could 464 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:58,640 Speaker 4: totally be it, just like all the trauma from not 465 00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:02,120 Speaker 4: just from like my divorce, in my children's father situation, 466 00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:04,679 Speaker 4: just like my life in general from the time I 467 00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:08,720 Speaker 4: was a kid, I've had a lot of traumatic experiences 468 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:10,679 Speaker 4: and I really felt like it just had sort of 469 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:16,320 Speaker 4: just festered in this like disease. And so now that 470 00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,480 Speaker 4: it's gone, I'm hoping that everything is going to change 471 00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:20,840 Speaker 4: and I get to be the woman that I've always 472 00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:23,879 Speaker 4: wanted to be and things are just going to only 473 00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:27,240 Speaker 4: look up. But yeah, I really do believe that because 474 00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:29,679 Speaker 4: like where else was it And it just feels like 475 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:32,359 Speaker 4: that makes so much sense. It was just bacteria and 476 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:36,160 Speaker 4: just like all waiting in my spine, the one thing 477 00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:39,119 Speaker 4: that you need to like hold the weight to the 478 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,400 Speaker 4: world on your shoulders, like to carry everything. 479 00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:43,800 Speaker 1: Well, it is not lost on me that it's literally 480 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:46,040 Speaker 1: like you're the backbone of your family and that whatever 481 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:49,240 Speaker 1: you're carrying is on your backbone. So that's interesting, But 482 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:52,200 Speaker 1: also like walk me through, like how did you even 483 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:54,679 Speaker 1: know anything was happening. Like what I mean, I know 484 00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:56,960 Speaker 1: that you thought you had like a back pain, but 485 00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:59,919 Speaker 1: how many days does that go through? Like how do 486 00:23:59,920 --> 00:24:01,480 Speaker 1: you all of a sudden go Okay, I need to 487 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:03,600 Speaker 1: get to someone, because I think as mothers we kind 488 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,120 Speaker 1: of like put our health off for as long as 489 00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:05,920 Speaker 1: we possibly can. 490 00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:09,440 Speaker 4: I put it off way too long. In fact, I 491 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:12,080 Speaker 4: so I had we had you know, we'd been filming 492 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:16,800 Speaker 4: the season seven. We finished filming, and then I had 493 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,160 Speaker 4: like all these plans, like We've got all this new 494 00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:21,000 Speaker 4: furniture that was coming to the house, and we've got 495 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,680 Speaker 4: all these plans for summer, and we're gonna go on 496 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,400 Speaker 4: vacation and like all the stuff that you don't get 497 00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:26,480 Speaker 4: to do when you're you know, working, working, working, and 498 00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:29,720 Speaker 4: the kids are in school. And literally, like about two 499 00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:32,400 Speaker 4: weeks after filming, I just I was at Mary's house 500 00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:34,920 Speaker 4: one night. Everything was fine, We're like decorating her house. 501 00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:37,479 Speaker 4: I woke up the next day I couldn't get out 502 00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:40,280 Speaker 4: of bed, Like I couldn't step out of bed. My 503 00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:43,040 Speaker 4: back hurts so bad. And I was like I just 504 00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:45,080 Speaker 4: thowt my back had gone out, you know, like maybe 505 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:48,840 Speaker 4: I'd moved some furniture too much or like something and so, 506 00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:52,280 Speaker 4: but I literally couldn't step. I was like was holding 507 00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:54,120 Speaker 4: on too like the dresser to like kind of limp 508 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:57,720 Speaker 4: to the bathroom. And then I stayed in bed like 509 00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:00,600 Speaker 4: two days with that. I ended up having doctor come 510 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,240 Speaker 4: to my house and was like, yeah, your your back 511 00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:05,120 Speaker 4: is out. So I had to get like a doctor's 512 00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:07,639 Speaker 4: excuse for like some interviews and stuff that I couldn't 513 00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:11,159 Speaker 4: make too. Couldn't make it too. That went on for 514 00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:13,160 Speaker 4: like a couple of weeks. It was like I could 515 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:18,359 Speaker 4: limp around, but it wasn't like I could still. I 516 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:23,520 Speaker 4: was still mobile ish. Long story short about it was 517 00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:26,359 Speaker 4: like a month of this. Well the first time actually, 518 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:29,840 Speaker 4: let me remind about eight days into that, I went 519 00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:32,800 Speaker 4: to the emergency room at a different hospital. I won't 520 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:36,760 Speaker 4: even mention it because now it's like interesting that they 521 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:39,520 Speaker 4: did an MRI and they sent me home and said 522 00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:42,880 Speaker 4: I was having a backspasm, and they gave me steroids 523 00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:47,040 Speaker 4: and ibuprofen and like muscle relaxers. So I went home 524 00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:49,560 Speaker 4: with all of that and it got better for about 525 00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:52,960 Speaker 4: a week. Not better like great, but better enough to 526 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,080 Speaker 4: get around. And I thought, Okay, it's just a back spasm. 527 00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,280 Speaker 4: Like it's gonna work its way out. And then it 528 00:25:57,320 --> 00:25:59,639 Speaker 4: got really really bad, to the point that I couldn't 529 00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:02,880 Speaker 4: get off the couch. Like I had an assistant at 530 00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:05,760 Speaker 4: the time, and she was like, you know, having to 531 00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:08,200 Speaker 4: cook for the kids, and she would have to help 532 00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,360 Speaker 4: me up to go to the restroom, and I just, yeah, 533 00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:12,320 Speaker 4: I don't know why I didn't go back to the hospital. 534 00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:14,720 Speaker 4: I just in my head thought it was a backspasm. 535 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:18,840 Speaker 4: I'd never had it before, so I thought it would eventually, 536 00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:21,320 Speaker 4: like you know, work its way out. And then I thought, well, 537 00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:22,960 Speaker 4: maybe it's something more. Maybe I have like a slip 538 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:25,040 Speaker 4: disc or like a bulging disk or something. So I 539 00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:27,280 Speaker 4: had a chiropractor come to my house and he would 540 00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:29,000 Speaker 4: touch my back in one spot and it would like 541 00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:30,639 Speaker 4: lock up in another and he would touch it and 542 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:33,600 Speaker 4: he was like, I can't work on you. I don't 543 00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,560 Speaker 4: know what's going on. But your body is spasying because 544 00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:40,479 Speaker 4: it's protected. It's normally because it's protecting something something more serious. 545 00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:43,760 Speaker 4: You need to go get like an MRI. And so 546 00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:46,800 Speaker 4: that's when I went to get an MRI, like an 547 00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:49,879 Speaker 4: imaging center, and they told me they saw a giant 548 00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:52,200 Speaker 4: mass at the bottom of my spine and they thought 549 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:54,560 Speaker 4: it was a tumor, and so they said to go 550 00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:57,480 Speaker 4: to Siedar SINAI like right away and get a scan. 551 00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:00,679 Speaker 4: And within like twenty four hours, I couldn't walk. So 552 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:02,800 Speaker 4: I couldn't even I couldn't. I had to call a 553 00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:05,120 Speaker 4: friend to come over to my house. I couldn't get 554 00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:07,520 Speaker 4: off the couch to get into the car to go 555 00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:10,280 Speaker 4: to Cedar sina. I was crawling for two days. I 556 00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,240 Speaker 4: crawled from my sofa to the kid's bathroom this is 557 00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:16,119 Speaker 4: closer than my bathroom. And my friend came over and 558 00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:19,399 Speaker 4: she was like, like, what are you doing? Like I 559 00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,240 Speaker 4: was in the most pain I've ever been in, like 560 00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:25,639 Speaker 4: literally like biting the pillow on the couch, like screaming 561 00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:28,520 Speaker 4: in pain at night, and she was like, if you don't, 562 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,920 Speaker 4: if you're not ready by nine thirty tomorrow morning, I'm 563 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:34,240 Speaker 4: calling the ambulance, Like this is crazy, and I don't know. 564 00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:36,239 Speaker 4: I think back now, I'm like, yeah, how how did 565 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:38,560 Speaker 4: I get to that much pain to where I like 566 00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:42,480 Speaker 4: literally couldn't walk. I was crawling, but you just I 567 00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:44,400 Speaker 4: just kept feeling it was going to get better, and 568 00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:47,280 Speaker 4: you know, so I went to Cedar SINAI and I 569 00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:49,399 Speaker 4: was on June second, and they did a scan and 570 00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:51,480 Speaker 4: they admitted me that day. Like I didn't go home 571 00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:54,280 Speaker 4: until July third. I was there for thirty one days. 572 00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:56,840 Speaker 4: So they did the scan and they they too thought 573 00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:58,280 Speaker 4: it was a toombor. I took my scan that I 574 00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:00,440 Speaker 4: had gotten from the you know, from the Imagy center, 575 00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:03,119 Speaker 4: and they looked at it and they were like, we 576 00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:05,399 Speaker 4: need to do like a different type of scan, and 577 00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:07,639 Speaker 4: they did it. And they and the doctor the spine 578 00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:10,200 Speaker 4: the guy that ended up doing my spine surgery, doctor Kim. 579 00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:12,240 Speaker 4: He didn't come in and talk to me the first 580 00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:14,760 Speaker 4: day because he thought that it was like a massive 581 00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:17,080 Speaker 4: tumor and he was going to have to like talk 582 00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:20,040 Speaker 4: about that, and so he waited for the blood results 583 00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:23,280 Speaker 4: because they were like, maybe it could be infection, and 584 00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:26,760 Speaker 4: it ended up being like this massive bacterial infection that 585 00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:29,159 Speaker 4: was all through my blood. So they started me on 586 00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:34,280 Speaker 4: intravenous antibiotics immediately, and yeah, for thirty one days, I 587 00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:39,640 Speaker 4: was on every four hours. I was getting intravenous antibiotics. 588 00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:41,520 Speaker 4: When I was released from the hospital, I had a 589 00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:43,640 Speaker 4: pick line I still had. I just got that out 590 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:47,040 Speaker 4: like three weeks ago. I had it for almost four weeks. 591 00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:49,720 Speaker 4: When I got out of the hospital, that had a 592 00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:52,440 Speaker 4: line that goes through like it goes across your arm 593 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:55,080 Speaker 4: and drops into your chest and it's ivy and they 594 00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:57,520 Speaker 4: come and they change it every twenty four hours. A 595 00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:01,880 Speaker 4: nurse came, and I'm still on oral antibiotics three pills, 596 00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:05,440 Speaker 4: three times a day for the next five months to 597 00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:08,640 Speaker 4: make sure that the infection doesn't come back. I had 598 00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:11,720 Speaker 4: a blood transfusion more than one in the hospital because 599 00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:13,720 Speaker 4: I lost so much blood a couple of times after surgery. 600 00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:15,640 Speaker 4: I mean, it was like when I was in the hospital, 601 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:18,160 Speaker 4: I didn't realize how serious it was because I was 602 00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:21,840 Speaker 4: kind of like in a drug induce just like I 603 00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:23,560 Speaker 4: was out of it. I was in so much pain. 604 00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:26,480 Speaker 4: I was taking medicine i'd never even heard of until 605 00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:30,400 Speaker 4: you know, I was in the hospital. But then once 606 00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:33,400 Speaker 4: you pull through, they're like telling you how serious it was. 607 00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:34,840 Speaker 4: And they told me if I'd stayed home one or 608 00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:37,280 Speaker 4: two more days, I wouldn't be here. So that was like, 609 00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:42,520 Speaker 4: holy shit. Yeah, it was a wild summer. And now 610 00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:44,080 Speaker 4: the kids are back in school and I feel like 611 00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:47,040 Speaker 4: I literally got finished filming, laid on the couch, the 612 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:49,160 Speaker 4: kids got out of school. I went to the hospital. 613 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:50,959 Speaker 4: I got out of the hospital, and now everybody's back 614 00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:52,760 Speaker 4: in school, and I'm like, what happened? 615 00:29:53,440 --> 00:30:07,040 Speaker 2: That's crazy? 616 00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:10,000 Speaker 3: How did you even mom during that time? I mean, 617 00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:12,560 Speaker 3: like you're a single mom, Like, how did how was 618 00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:13,360 Speaker 3: that invisible? 619 00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:16,360 Speaker 4: I had? Well, I have two very It makes me 620 00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:19,880 Speaker 4: emotional to talk about. I have two very self sufficient, 621 00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:24,160 Speaker 4: you know, one teenager and one lean. We ordered a 622 00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:25,840 Speaker 4: lot of Postman, like when I was home on the 623 00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:28,680 Speaker 4: couch for that moment, it was a lot of Postmates 624 00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:32,640 Speaker 4: and a lot of ubering them to wherever they were 625 00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:35,640 Speaker 4: going to like playdates and things. They were still in 626 00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:38,720 Speaker 4: school at first, so they had a driver that would 627 00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:42,120 Speaker 4: like take them to school and home. And then and 628 00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:44,680 Speaker 4: then when I went to the hospital, my dear friend 629 00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:48,000 Speaker 4: of mine just moved into my house and she just yeah, 630 00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:49,720 Speaker 4: she moved in and took care of them for the 631 00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:52,960 Speaker 4: for the month that I was there. So it was 632 00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:56,040 Speaker 4: and they I didn't see them because when I was 633 00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:58,920 Speaker 4: at the house, it got so bad like the last 634 00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:02,160 Speaker 4: few I mean times kind of like a blur now, 635 00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:04,640 Speaker 4: but like it was so bad at a point, Like 636 00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:07,080 Speaker 4: I remember one time one night they were making food 637 00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:09,360 Speaker 4: in the kitchen. I was laying on the sofa and 638 00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:11,480 Speaker 4: I just couldn't like hold it in, and I was 639 00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:14,479 Speaker 4: like like screaming in pain. And I didn't want them 640 00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:17,080 Speaker 4: to see me like that because you know, I didn't 641 00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:21,040 Speaker 4: want to freak them out, but just like reassuring them 642 00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:22,960 Speaker 4: that I was okay, it was just a backspasm. I 643 00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:24,600 Speaker 4: was going to go get it checked out whatever. And 644 00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:27,680 Speaker 4: then when I went into the hospital it looked even 645 00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:30,120 Speaker 4: well it was worse, but and it just looked really bad. 646 00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:32,040 Speaker 4: I would FaceTime them, but I didn't want them to 647 00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:34,280 Speaker 4: come up to the hospital to see me. I mean, 648 00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:36,880 Speaker 4: I had tubes coming out, you know, I had IVS 649 00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:39,600 Speaker 4: and two in one arm, like sometimes one in my 650 00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:43,120 Speaker 4: hand and oxygen and after the surgeries, you have like 651 00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:45,160 Speaker 4: tubes coming out of you everywhere. And I was like, 652 00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:48,920 Speaker 4: this would just really freak them out. So I would 653 00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:52,720 Speaker 4: FaceTime them and like just pretend like, you know, it 654 00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:54,280 Speaker 4: was okay and we were taking care of it. But 655 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:57,800 Speaker 4: I really didn't know. I wasn't super scared. In the hospital, 656 00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:00,160 Speaker 4: Like I said, they don't really give you the give 657 00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:03,440 Speaker 4: you enough information like what you need to know. But 658 00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:08,400 Speaker 4: I was so under educated on like what how serious 659 00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:09,840 Speaker 4: this was. Like while I was in it, I was 660 00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:11,960 Speaker 4: just kind of going through the motions, you know, But 661 00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:14,880 Speaker 4: afterwards I was like, holy wow, I thought was really 662 00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:19,000 Speaker 4: really bad. One night I spiked a fever of like, ah, 663 00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:21,120 Speaker 4: this was I was supposed to get out of the hospital, 664 00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:24,360 Speaker 4: and like the next day and in the middle of 665 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:25,880 Speaker 4: the night, I spiked a fever of one hundred and 666 00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:29,920 Speaker 4: five and like I'd never even heard of anybody having 667 00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:32,960 Speaker 4: a fever that high. And that was for like a day. 668 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:34,600 Speaker 4: I had one hundred five, and then the next day 669 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:36,040 Speaker 4: it was one hundred four, and then it finally got 670 00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,840 Speaker 4: down to one hundred three, and they had that. At 671 00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:41,520 Speaker 4: that point, I got scared because this infection is a 672 00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:46,000 Speaker 4: sticky infection, so like it stuck to my spine. A 673 00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:48,520 Speaker 4: lot of people it's called ostiomlitis, and that's when it 674 00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:50,920 Speaker 4: attacks the moone a lot of people it'll stick to 675 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:54,760 Speaker 4: like it's common more common, like a foot or like 676 00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:58,160 Speaker 4: bones in your leg or something, but the spines, like, 677 00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:02,520 Speaker 4: you know, more serious. But the first thing that they 678 00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:05,160 Speaker 4: checked when they found out it was a bacterial infection 679 00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:07,520 Speaker 4: was my heart. Because it's a sticky infection, it sticks 680 00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:12,200 Speaker 4: to your heart. It can you can die quickly. And 681 00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:14,960 Speaker 4: so when I spiked the fever, this is after I'd 682 00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:17,400 Speaker 4: been in the hospital, like, you know, twenty six days 683 00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:20,560 Speaker 4: or something, and I was like, oh my god, I 684 00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:22,560 Speaker 4: went to my heart because that's what they thought like 685 00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:28,080 Speaker 4: I was like convulsing massively sweating, but I was freezing 686 00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:33,040 Speaker 4: and my blood pressure was like sky high, my heart 687 00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:36,520 Speaker 4: rate was like out the roof, and my temperature was 688 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:38,320 Speaker 4: one hundred and five. And I was like, I remember 689 00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:41,720 Speaker 4: laying there like, shit, I haven't seen my kids, like 690 00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:45,080 Speaker 4: this is this could be really bad, and they it wasn't. 691 00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:49,360 Speaker 4: It was I was having like some random, strange reaction, 692 00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:51,680 Speaker 4: very rare reaction to one of the medicines that they 693 00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:53,880 Speaker 4: had given me, and so I just needed to like 694 00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:58,960 Speaker 4: get out of my system. But yeah, and so my 695 00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:02,640 Speaker 4: kids were a little bit in the dark about everything. 696 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,000 Speaker 4: But when I got out of the hospital, I saw 697 00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:09,239 Speaker 4: my son first. He was in the driveway randomly when 698 00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:12,840 Speaker 4: I got home, and he just like fell into my 699 00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:16,920 Speaker 4: arms and started weeping. Yeah. He was like, I didn't 700 00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:18,880 Speaker 4: think you were going to come home from the hospital, 701 00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:22,680 Speaker 4: and I was like, oh my god. I didn't realize 702 00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:23,520 Speaker 4: how scared they were. 703 00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:27,640 Speaker 1: Well, it's also hard because you're the only one. 704 00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:32,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, and they had this. My daughter's god emotional. 705 00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:35,680 Speaker 1: This is wine down. Well, we cry every episode, so 706 00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:37,600 Speaker 1: if you didn't cry, we wouldn't be doing our jobs. 707 00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:39,280 Speaker 1: This is actually no. 708 00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:45,040 Speaker 4: But my my daughter, she's a little tougher I think, 709 00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:53,080 Speaker 4: or she we usually arener, just tougher. He yeah, but 710 00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:56,160 Speaker 4: he seemed like he was tougher, like she seemed more sad, 711 00:34:56,239 --> 00:34:57,759 Speaker 4: like when I was in the hospital and missed me 712 00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:00,560 Speaker 4: more and stuff when we would talk, and he seemed 713 00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:03,080 Speaker 4: to totally just like have it together and like he 714 00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:04,720 Speaker 4: was trying to be like the little man of the house, 715 00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:07,040 Speaker 4: you know. And then but when he saw mom, like 716 00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:11,640 Speaker 4: he just and my back really hurt. I he and 717 00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:14,080 Speaker 4: he's tall, my kid is My kids are huge. They're 718 00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:17,000 Speaker 4: both five ten and they're twelve and thirteen. Oh wow, 719 00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:20,360 Speaker 4: and I'm and I thought I was like tall for 720 00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:22,879 Speaker 4: a girl until these kids, like I just look short. 721 00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:26,000 Speaker 4: And he just like fell on me, and I was like, oh, 722 00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:29,680 Speaker 4: it hurts so bad that he was like weeping, and 723 00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:32,560 Speaker 4: I was like, geez, that must have been so scary. 724 00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:35,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, but you did such a good job of protecting 725 00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:39,879 Speaker 1: them too, you know. I think that's incredible, and it's 726 00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:42,160 Speaker 1: got to be really hard, like you talk about I mean, 727 00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:45,080 Speaker 1: this is months, right, so even you have a month 728 00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:47,400 Speaker 1: in the hospital, but you have months before that, so 729 00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:49,240 Speaker 1: then all of a sudden you have to like come 730 00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:52,000 Speaker 1: back to life in the real world. I put it 731 00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:54,560 Speaker 1: in air quotes because your world to me is so 732 00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:59,560 Speaker 1: layered and sometimes not as reel as it should be, 733 00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:03,000 Speaker 1: that it's just observing from my sweet little city, you know, 734 00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:05,320 Speaker 1: my seat in Nashville. But like, tell me, how do 735 00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:09,000 Speaker 1: you transition from like this life altering moment of health. 736 00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:12,280 Speaker 1: If you have health, you have everything to moving into 737 00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:17,799 Speaker 1: filming a season with these people, then like how does 738 00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:20,080 Speaker 1: that even? How do you even move yourself back into 739 00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:22,440 Speaker 1: your world emotionally? 740 00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:26,799 Speaker 4: So I'm still I think that's why I'm so emotional, 741 00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:30,320 Speaker 4: Like it's been a struggle of this. So we stopped 742 00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:33,440 Speaker 4: filming season six, and then I got sick for a month, 743 00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:35,000 Speaker 4: and then I was in the hospital for a month. 744 00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:36,960 Speaker 4: And now I've been out of the hospital almost a 745 00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:41,600 Speaker 4: month or no over a month. But it's like I'm 746 00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:44,680 Speaker 4: still I feel like we just stopped filming, Like my 747 00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:48,480 Speaker 4: world the whole summer is just a it's like a 748 00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:52,319 Speaker 4: chunk of my life just got taken away, like and 749 00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:56,520 Speaker 4: it's I'm still trying to get back. We're not filming yet. 750 00:36:57,160 --> 00:37:00,239 Speaker 4: We're still a hiatus until I don't know, and we 751 00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:02,920 Speaker 4: haven't been given like a shoot date, but you know, 752 00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:05,439 Speaker 4: we've had photo shoots and interviews and things like that, 753 00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:10,360 Speaker 4: and it is very strange. I'm trying to play catch 754 00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:13,120 Speaker 4: up to all of the things and all the plans 755 00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:17,080 Speaker 4: that I had before we stopped filming, but with like 756 00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:22,520 Speaker 4: this much energy, like no energy. I just only was 757 00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:24,880 Speaker 4: released yesterday. I had a follow up appointment. I was 758 00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:28,000 Speaker 4: only released yesterday. To lift over to lift more than 759 00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:32,320 Speaker 4: five pounds, so like I can't bend, I can't twist, 760 00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:35,800 Speaker 4: I can't lift more than five pounds, you know, getting 761 00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:40,720 Speaker 4: in and out of the car, Like everything is different. 762 00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:46,799 Speaker 4: I'm still on antibiotics, which have been like I've been on. 763 00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:51,480 Speaker 4: I weaned myself off of massive amount. I'm proud of this. 764 00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:53,440 Speaker 4: So I want to mention this because this is like 765 00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:56,960 Speaker 4: a huge situation in the world right now. 766 00:37:57,120 --> 00:38:00,160 Speaker 1: Narcotic pain We just talked about that last week. We 767 00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:03,600 Speaker 1: watched that show Painkiller, and the fact of how it's 768 00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:07,120 Speaker 1: like people can get so addicted. You know, they weren't 769 00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:09,839 Speaker 1: addicts before, but then they when they got hurt from 770 00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:11,719 Speaker 1: the back paint or whatever. Yeah, So. 771 00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:16,440 Speaker 4: I was very cognizant of that when I was in 772 00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:18,920 Speaker 4: the hospital, and even before I was released, I was 773 00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:22,480 Speaker 4: trying to already sort of wean myself down, which was 774 00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:26,240 Speaker 4: impossible because at the time I was I was getting intravenously. 775 00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:30,720 Speaker 4: I mean every like, you know, four to six hours 776 00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:34,000 Speaker 4: and sometimes and then every two hours. I would take. 777 00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:36,359 Speaker 1: Something orally, like what did they give you for the pain? 778 00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:41,480 Speaker 4: I had oxycodone, I had torrital, I had dilouded, I 779 00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:47,600 Speaker 4: had morphine. I had never heard of dilouded or tortal. 780 00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:50,359 Speaker 4: I'd heard a morphine, but it was like that's what 781 00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:52,680 Speaker 4: people get when they like cut their arm off, Like 782 00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:55,800 Speaker 4: that's like massive pain. And I'd heard of oxy cotone 783 00:38:55,800 --> 00:39:00,239 Speaker 4: because that's like a massively addictive drug. When I got 784 00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:03,000 Speaker 4: out of the hospital, I was only on oral pain killers, 785 00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:07,080 Speaker 4: but I was taking like one hundred and twenty milligrams 786 00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:12,000 Speaker 4: of oxycodone for about two months straight on top of 787 00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:14,839 Speaker 4: all this other stuff. So I was very aware that, 788 00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:16,520 Speaker 4: like I was going to have to wean myself. I 789 00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:18,400 Speaker 4: was taking like nine of them a day when I 790 00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:21,359 Speaker 4: first got the hospital, because I had to because the 791 00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:24,480 Speaker 4: pain was sure. So, sir, I mean, I have you know, 792 00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:27,279 Speaker 4: I had two spine surgeries. I have metal rods in 793 00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:30,160 Speaker 4: my back now. One of my vertebrae was replaced with 794 00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:34,479 Speaker 4: titanium because the infection completely ate through bones in my back. 795 00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:37,439 Speaker 4: I still have, you know. Yesterday I had my follow 796 00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:39,560 Speaker 4: up and I had an X ray. I have a 797 00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:44,799 Speaker 4: really my hip is really painful, and it's because one 798 00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:47,440 Speaker 4: of the joints in my hip had infection sitting on 799 00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:50,360 Speaker 4: it for so long, and it's just it's just eaten 800 00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:53,960 Speaker 4: like away, and it's something that there's no therapy that's 801 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:56,759 Speaker 4: going to make it better. There's no it's just he said, 802 00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:58,440 Speaker 4: at some point I may have to go get like 803 00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:01,440 Speaker 4: a an injection that will help the pain for like 804 00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:04,120 Speaker 4: six months. But it's like it's already. It just hurts, 805 00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:06,600 Speaker 4: like it just hurts all day every day, just like 806 00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:10,080 Speaker 4: not excruciating, but it's just something I'm having to learn 807 00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:14,160 Speaker 4: to deal with, like these new like pains. And I'm 808 00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:16,440 Speaker 4: gonna be forty seven in December. I've always already getting 809 00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:17,080 Speaker 4: a little creaky. 810 00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:22,680 Speaker 1: Wait, December one eleven. Oh you're sad, me too, big 811 00:40:22,719 --> 00:40:23,440 Speaker 1: sag energy. 812 00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:24,960 Speaker 4: I love it. 813 00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:28,040 Speaker 1: Well, that's kind of what I'm curious because, you know, 814 00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:30,719 Speaker 1: kind of to Kristen's question where it's like, you know, 815 00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:34,280 Speaker 1: when you do go back filming, it's like, I'm curious, 816 00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:36,120 Speaker 1: like how your emotions are going to be with that 817 00:40:36,239 --> 00:40:39,920 Speaker 1: because you you almost died, you know everything else you're 818 00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:43,240 Speaker 1: going through. So it's like, are you kind of going 819 00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:46,440 Speaker 1: in like just so grateful to be here or I 820 00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:50,520 Speaker 1: mean obviously yes. And is it like you guys don't 821 00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:53,040 Speaker 1: even have a fucking clue you know what I mean, 822 00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:55,560 Speaker 1: like stop talking about your product, bag your product. You know, 823 00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:57,920 Speaker 1: it's like this, that and the other and like coming 824 00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:00,600 Speaker 1: in like you know, just like realizing the crap out 825 00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:00,879 Speaker 1: of them. 826 00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:04,359 Speaker 4: Yeah, And it's I feel like I was already kind 827 00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:07,200 Speaker 4: of like that anyway. So be honest, I'm a little 828 00:41:07,239 --> 00:41:11,040 Speaker 4: bit nervous because you know, they like the drama on 829 00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:13,480 Speaker 4: the show and they like the and I don't give 830 00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:16,920 Speaker 4: a fuck about this that people argue about, like and 831 00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:20,080 Speaker 4: if if I want to continue to have a job, 832 00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:26,759 Speaker 4: I have to somewhat you know, participate and to participate, 833 00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:31,920 Speaker 4: and I just don't have the energy, the want to 834 00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:34,399 Speaker 4: and I'm gonna be honest. Like before I went into 835 00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:36,520 Speaker 4: the hospital, I had a falling out with my dear 836 00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:40,360 Speaker 4: friend Krishelle, like the one. I never have had a 837 00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:43,560 Speaker 4: falling out like this with anybody, And you know, we 838 00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:47,319 Speaker 4: had a misunderstanding. It happened kind of during season seven, 839 00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:49,680 Speaker 4: and then it carried on a little bit afterwards, a 840 00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:53,279 Speaker 4: lot afterwards, and I felt really really strongly about it, 841 00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:56,000 Speaker 4: like I was so I was done. I was done 842 00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:59,040 Speaker 4: with her. I didn't like the way she moved through 843 00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:02,360 Speaker 4: the situation and we had been in I was just 844 00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:04,759 Speaker 4: really I was very vocal about it, and it was 845 00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:07,680 Speaker 4: like I really felt strongly about it, and she had 846 00:42:07,719 --> 00:42:10,040 Speaker 4: been a really I love Chrishlle. She had been a 847 00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:12,120 Speaker 4: really dear friend. And when I was in the hospital, 848 00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:15,520 Speaker 4: she reached out to me and it made me so 849 00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:17,840 Speaker 4: emotional and I just I wrote her back and I 850 00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:20,319 Speaker 4: was like like in my head, I was like, what 851 00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:23,160 Speaker 4: the fuck are we even? Are you? 852 00:42:23,239 --> 00:42:23,439 Speaker 1: Yeah? 853 00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:26,239 Speaker 4: And I just you know, and we've talked since and 854 00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:29,279 Speaker 4: we're good. But I'm just like I don't even think 855 00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:32,959 Speaker 4: I have one ounce of anything in me that could 856 00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:35,879 Speaker 4: feed into any of it, unless I mean I can't 857 00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:38,400 Speaker 4: even think of what would be a big enough reason 858 00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:41,000 Speaker 4: to like really give two about some of the drama 859 00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:41,480 Speaker 4: that they. 860 00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:43,719 Speaker 1: But that might be exactly what we need from you. 861 00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:47,080 Speaker 4: But I feel, yeah, I don't know, maybe. 862 00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:49,200 Speaker 1: But again I get I get the pull that you 863 00:42:49,239 --> 00:42:50,359 Speaker 1: have to do right well. 864 00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:52,600 Speaker 3: I feel like that's always kind of been your personality, 865 00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:54,719 Speaker 3: where you just kind of you're able to just hold back. 866 00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:56,240 Speaker 1: That's what I love about you on the show. 867 00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:57,960 Speaker 3: And I don't know if that is just because of 868 00:42:58,000 --> 00:42:59,880 Speaker 3: all the trauma, like you said, that you've had, but 869 00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:03,040 Speaker 3: you've always or it's because you're a single mama protecting 870 00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:05,640 Speaker 3: your kids, you know. I don't know, but you've always 871 00:43:05,719 --> 00:43:07,120 Speaker 3: been able to just hold it back. 872 00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:11,000 Speaker 4: I just don't And I mean, I just have such 873 00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:15,719 Speaker 4: low tolerance for things that are unimportant. And I think, 874 00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:17,640 Speaker 4: I mean a lot of it. It's probably because I'm 875 00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:19,719 Speaker 4: a single mom. I have more responsibility, I think than 876 00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:23,279 Speaker 4: a lot of people understand. But then also I'm just 877 00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:28,720 Speaker 4: a very logical human, right, I feel like I'm very literal, 878 00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:30,680 Speaker 4: and I just feel like I'm kind of level headed 879 00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:34,480 Speaker 4: kind of unless you trigger me. But I'm like, I 880 00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:37,560 Speaker 4: just don't, like I literally look at them. Sometimes I'm like, 881 00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:40,520 Speaker 4: I don't get it and I don't understand, like there's 882 00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:44,640 Speaker 4: disconnects people like reading things and people and I'm just like, 883 00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:46,440 Speaker 4: I don't know. 884 00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:49,360 Speaker 1: Was there someone from the show that really surprised you, 885 00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:51,879 Speaker 1: like while you were in the hospital. Obviously the Krishelle text, 886 00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:53,640 Speaker 1: but is there anyone else that you were you know 887 00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:55,600 Speaker 1: kind of like wow, like they really showed up as 888 00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:58,040 Speaker 1: a friend. Because I think when you go through moments 889 00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:00,359 Speaker 1: like that, you really realize like who your friends are 890 00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:02,000 Speaker 1: when you were at your lowest low. 891 00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:06,680 Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean we're all pretty close, to be honest, 892 00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:10,080 Speaker 4: not all of us obviously, like Chryshell and Cole weren't 893 00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:11,040 Speaker 4: our buddies. 894 00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:16,120 Speaker 1: But no, I didn't get that one at all watching us, 895 00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:18,040 Speaker 1: And I'm like, who cares if she did or didn't 896 00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:19,920 Speaker 1: like to stop? And I was like, I was like, 897 00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:22,200 Speaker 1: I've got it. I was like, Okay, so maybe she 898 00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:22,800 Speaker 1: did do drugs. 899 00:44:22,960 --> 00:44:23,799 Speaker 2: Who cares. 900 00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:34,960 Speaker 4: Want to go out and just do drugs? So true, 901 00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:41,640 Speaker 4: I wasn't there. I wasn't in Palm Springs because us and. 902 00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:45,720 Speaker 1: Because Jesus loves you and kept you away from Palm Springs. 903 00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:49,000 Speaker 4: Or does Jesus not loving Nicole because somebody needed to 904 00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:53,440 Speaker 4: stand up. Like I was mortified. I watched it when 905 00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:55,960 Speaker 4: everybody else saw the show because my back was already 906 00:44:56,000 --> 00:45:00,160 Speaker 4: hurting when we got the teaser or the trailers that's 907 00:45:00,239 --> 00:45:03,640 Speaker 4: what they're called whatever, the screeners, and I couldn't watch 908 00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:05,160 Speaker 4: it because I was in so much pain. This was 909 00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:08,360 Speaker 4: after filming and I was home, and so I watched 910 00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:11,480 Speaker 4: it when the world saw and I was like, I 911 00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:15,960 Speaker 4: wanted to go back in time, jump through the television 912 00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:18,600 Speaker 4: and be in Palm Springs and be like, what the 913 00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:22,640 Speaker 4: literal fuck. I was so mortified. I couldn't believe that 914 00:45:22,719 --> 00:45:25,200 Speaker 4: it was explained to me very differently than how it 915 00:45:25,239 --> 00:45:28,600 Speaker 4: went down. It was like, explained very differently. 916 00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:30,880 Speaker 1: That's interesting to me. 917 00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:36,440 Speaker 4: Everybody is you know, I'm really close to a lot 918 00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:38,520 Speaker 4: of people in the office, but I will say for 919 00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:40,719 Speaker 4: somebody who lives so far away from you know, I 920 00:45:40,719 --> 00:45:45,040 Speaker 4: was at Cedar Sina in Beverly Hills, Chelsea, like we're close, 921 00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:48,719 Speaker 4: but she was at the hospital multiple times, you know, 922 00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:51,640 Speaker 4: and she lives in Manhattan Beach, so it's not like 923 00:45:51,719 --> 00:45:54,759 Speaker 4: and she's she's a mama too, Like she's got two 924 00:45:54,840 --> 00:45:58,000 Speaker 4: little ones, like two and I think maybe three and 925 00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:00,640 Speaker 4: two I don't know how they are now, but their babies. 926 00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:04,759 Speaker 4: So I was I was not surprised because I do 927 00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:06,759 Speaker 4: love her so much, but it was like it was 928 00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:09,239 Speaker 4: really cool that she came up to the hospital so 929 00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:12,920 Speaker 4: many times, and like she brought me like pajamas. So 930 00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:15,040 Speaker 4: I just kept staying longer and longer, and I was 931 00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:16,880 Speaker 4: like running out of clothes. They don't do your laundry 932 00:46:16,920 --> 00:46:19,799 Speaker 4: at the hospital, so you're just you know, And I 933 00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:22,960 Speaker 4: refused to wear that gown. It was just not because 934 00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:26,160 Speaker 4: I'm a fashion east and I mean I like fashion, 935 00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:28,600 Speaker 4: but it was just so uncomfortable and it just made 936 00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:30,000 Speaker 4: it feel so much more hospital. 937 00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:31,839 Speaker 1: I feel like they've made those gowns. By the way, 938 00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:33,840 Speaker 1: I didn't tell you girls this, but I went to Centennial. 939 00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:34,960 Speaker 1: I you did. 940 00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:35,839 Speaker 3: I was wondering how it went. 941 00:46:36,320 --> 00:46:38,440 Speaker 1: How did you know anyways? But I have your calendar. 942 00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:39,359 Speaker 4: No. 943 00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:42,399 Speaker 1: Oh no, I went like at night time after a date. 944 00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:43,000 Speaker 2: Oh no. 945 00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:46,279 Speaker 1: I didn't tell anyone's else so embarrassed. I'm pregnant, so 946 00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:49,200 Speaker 1: I had a little like I didn't know. I was 947 00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:51,480 Speaker 1: just like super embarrassed or whatever. So I didn't tell anyone. 948 00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:54,000 Speaker 1: But the ladies like are here put on the gown 949 00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:56,319 Speaker 1: and I'm like and I'm in there, and I'm like, 950 00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:58,640 Speaker 1: there's so many new buttons on these gowns, and I'm like, 951 00:46:58,719 --> 00:47:02,680 Speaker 1: I don't even know what my head through this. Yeah, 952 00:47:02,719 --> 00:47:05,240 Speaker 1: it's like or a gomi, like hospital down or gomi. 953 00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:06,880 Speaker 1: So I just stood there naked open the door. I 954 00:47:06,880 --> 00:47:08,479 Speaker 1: was like, I don't know which bottom goes to which 955 00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:12,120 Speaker 1: arms were just put this on me. I picked my 956 00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:13,440 Speaker 1: head out of the curtain last time, and I was like, 957 00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:15,439 Speaker 1: can y'all just come in? I need like major help. 958 00:47:15,480 --> 00:47:17,000 Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm doing, and you're going to 959 00:47:17,080 --> 00:47:19,080 Speaker 1: come in here and I'm going to have it. I know. 960 00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:23,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, in the bed it's all stuck and you can't. 961 00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:26,239 Speaker 1: Like you like a string up your butthole. We're never 962 00:47:26,320 --> 00:47:28,480 Speaker 1: lounging an address at home anyways, so why are they 963 00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:30,520 Speaker 1: putting us in a dress there? It's weird. 964 00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:38,000 Speaker 4: I have dressed its even Yeah, yeah, oh, are super uncomfortable. 965 00:47:38,040 --> 00:47:40,560 Speaker 4: I actually ended up at the end of it. By 966 00:47:40,600 --> 00:47:43,880 Speaker 4: the end of my stay, I kept calling in my 967 00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:47,680 Speaker 4: hotel room for someone. Maybe that's just you run a 968 00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:49,880 Speaker 4: lot of drugs. To be fair, I was on a 969 00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:52,480 Speaker 4: lot of drugs. It was the most expensive hotel room 970 00:47:52,480 --> 00:47:56,239 Speaker 4: I've ever stayed in with the crappy food service. But 971 00:47:56,400 --> 00:48:00,000 Speaker 4: my friend Jewels came and he like redecorated my room. 972 00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:02,040 Speaker 4: Was like he's a gay guy and he's like very 973 00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:05,320 Speaker 4: over the top and he was like this is disaster 974 00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:10,200 Speaker 4: and he like put artwork up and he brought me 975 00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:12,799 Speaker 4: like this giant inflatable. I don't even think this was 976 00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:15,799 Speaker 4: legal for the hospital. It was like I think they 977 00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:17,520 Speaker 4: just I'd been there for so long. It was like 978 00:48:17,560 --> 00:48:21,319 Speaker 4: a queen size massive blow up bed that he put 979 00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:24,319 Speaker 4: next to my hospital bed, and like these starlights that 980 00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:27,880 Speaker 4: like illuminated on the ceiling that played like meditation music, 981 00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:30,960 Speaker 4: and a candle warmer that smelled really good. Like the 982 00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:35,960 Speaker 4: nurses would come in and be like this is dope 983 00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:39,799 Speaker 4: in here. But yeah, I just I ended up moving 984 00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:41,680 Speaker 4: from the hospital bed like the last week and a 985 00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:44,440 Speaker 4: half that I was there, to this massive blow up 986 00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:47,400 Speaker 4: mattress on the floor because the hospital beds were so uncomfortable. 987 00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:49,480 Speaker 4: It was just over it. 988 00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:52,840 Speaker 3: They like ruined, you maybet not doing it after a 989 00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:55,319 Speaker 3: baby for like three days after a sea section and 990 00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:57,520 Speaker 3: how bad that seems and then have to do it 991 00:48:57,560 --> 00:48:57,920 Speaker 3: for a mile. 992 00:48:58,880 --> 00:49:02,399 Speaker 1: My tailbow's still broken from my breath. Three months ago, my. 993 00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:05,200 Speaker 4: Spine was what hurt in like the bed. 994 00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:12,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, so it was Now and looking back on everything 995 00:49:12,160 --> 00:49:14,400 Speaker 1: that you have gone through, what do you think is 996 00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:17,880 Speaker 1: your biggest kind of like what do you say to yourself? 997 00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:21,000 Speaker 1: Like to kind of I don't know, I don't want 998 00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:23,600 Speaker 1: to say that because obviously you're you're incredibly strong, but like, 999 00:49:23,840 --> 00:49:25,560 Speaker 1: what is your biggest takeaway from all of this? 1000 00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:31,360 Speaker 4: I've actually been having I keep saying I'm emotional, but 1001 00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:33,440 Speaker 4: I have I've been maybe I'm pmssing. I don't know, 1002 00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:34,000 Speaker 4: Maybe I'm. 1003 00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:36,680 Speaker 1: Just it's a lot, girl. You've literally have been carrying 1004 00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:39,040 Speaker 1: a lot for your whole life too, Yeah, just like 1005 00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:39,719 Speaker 1: the last year. 1006 00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:45,399 Speaker 4: Yeah yeah. And I also I have a friend right 1007 00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:50,200 Speaker 4: now who's very sick, and I'm like, I just like 1008 00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:52,520 Speaker 4: feel like I just got a second chance at life. 1009 00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:59,319 Speaker 4: And then I'm simultaneously watching my dear friend not like 1010 00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:02,600 Speaker 4: she's has stage four cancer like in three parts of 1011 00:50:02,640 --> 00:50:05,960 Speaker 4: our twenty six years old beautiful like supermodel, like the 1012 00:50:05,960 --> 00:50:10,320 Speaker 4: most amazing soul, and like she's like I'm like watching 1013 00:50:10,360 --> 00:50:13,880 Speaker 4: her die and I'm like, I don't know, it's weird. 1014 00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:16,680 Speaker 4: I'm like, Okay, I feel really blessed and really grateful 1015 00:50:16,680 --> 00:50:18,879 Speaker 4: and really lucky about what the fuck on the other hand, 1016 00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:21,480 Speaker 4: like why is this happening to this person? And I 1017 00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:27,520 Speaker 4: feel really, I don't know. I feel like I I've 1018 00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:33,640 Speaker 4: got to do more. I feel like I wouldn't have 1019 00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:37,359 Speaker 4: gone through all of this stuff and then come out 1020 00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:41,680 Speaker 4: like still happy and jolly and amanza if I wasn't 1021 00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:44,040 Speaker 4: supposed to do something huge with it. And like, I know, 1022 00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:47,239 Speaker 4: I'm doing okay things and I have a platform and 1023 00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:50,200 Speaker 4: we're on this show, and that doesn't feel like that's 1024 00:50:50,239 --> 00:50:53,080 Speaker 4: not it for me. It never has been in my head. 1025 00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:54,719 Speaker 4: And I'm like, Okay, I just really need to like 1026 00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:58,000 Speaker 4: bust my ass right now and figure out how to 1027 00:50:58,040 --> 00:51:01,440 Speaker 4: get to what that next big thing is because I 1028 00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:04,400 Speaker 4: wasn't just brought through all of this to be on 1029 00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:07,640 Speaker 4: And look, I love selling Sunset. I'm not trying to 1030 00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:13,480 Speaker 4: like diminish its glory at all, but that's not the 1031 00:51:13,520 --> 00:51:16,319 Speaker 4: platform that I'm going to like go out on. Like 1032 00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:20,840 Speaker 4: I feel like I need to really continue to like, 1033 00:51:21,040 --> 00:51:24,640 Speaker 4: you know, cultivate, like my motivational speaking and like all 1034 00:51:24,640 --> 00:51:27,920 Speaker 4: of the big plans that I have to inspire people 1035 00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:30,360 Speaker 4: and like, I just feel like there's no way that 1036 00:51:30,360 --> 00:51:32,520 Speaker 4: I've been put through all this shit and then come 1037 00:51:32,560 --> 00:51:35,120 Speaker 4: out shiny and new on the other side if I 1038 00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:38,920 Speaker 4: wasn't supposed to somehow share my experience and give people 1039 00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:41,920 Speaker 4: hope and help others be able to do the same 1040 00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:44,279 Speaker 4: and not give up in the midst of it all. 1041 00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:48,000 Speaker 4: So it's just kind of lit a fire under my butt, 1042 00:51:48,280 --> 00:51:51,880 Speaker 4: except for I can't move fast enough right now to 1043 00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:55,879 Speaker 4: do as about it as I want to, so but yeah, 1044 00:51:55,920 --> 00:51:58,279 Speaker 4: I think it's just it's just another one of those 1045 00:51:58,280 --> 00:52:00,279 Speaker 4: things like I'm gonna be honest, like I got I'm 1046 00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:03,360 Speaker 4: just kind of a hardhead. I don't think I would 1047 00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:07,160 Speaker 4: have worked as hard as I have before my children's 1048 00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:10,600 Speaker 4: father disappeared. Like that lit a fire under my ass, 1049 00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:13,040 Speaker 4: you know, because I was like, now I cannot feel 1050 00:52:13,600 --> 00:52:16,720 Speaker 4: like it is on me. I have to do the most, 1051 00:52:17,600 --> 00:52:20,600 Speaker 4: and I'm some part of me is like like, I 1052 00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:24,960 Speaker 4: guess maybe I needed that to to get myself to 1053 00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:27,279 Speaker 4: the potential that I know that I could be. And 1054 00:52:27,320 --> 00:52:30,360 Speaker 4: then here's this thing and it's like, oh, maybe I 1055 00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:33,480 Speaker 4: needed that to light a fire under me to get 1056 00:52:33,719 --> 00:52:36,840 Speaker 4: to the next, you know, step of where I'm supposed 1057 00:52:36,840 --> 00:52:38,680 Speaker 4: to be. There's a lot more inside of me, and 1058 00:52:38,680 --> 00:52:41,399 Speaker 4: I just got to figure out how to like how 1059 00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:42,680 Speaker 4: to get it out there to the world. 1060 00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:46,080 Speaker 1: Well, Amanza, thank you for just being so open, authentic, 1061 00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:49,319 Speaker 1: sharing your story and just I mean I want to, like, 1062 00:52:49,480 --> 00:52:50,600 Speaker 1: I want to give you a hug, I want to 1063 00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:53,280 Speaker 1: sit with you like you're just You're an incredible woman. 1064 00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:55,840 Speaker 1: So thank you for coming on here and just sharing 1065 00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:56,360 Speaker 1: your words. 1066 00:52:57,239 --> 00:52:58,360 Speaker 4: I want to hug you too, because you have a 1067 00:52:58,400 --> 00:53:02,120 Speaker 4: baby and your million come to Nashville and come hang 1068 00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:04,239 Speaker 4: out with us for a minute. I would love to. 1069 00:53:04,440 --> 00:53:07,840 Speaker 4: That sounds so good, like just humbling and like, yeah. 1070 00:53:07,760 --> 00:53:11,040 Speaker 1: Just get cozy with us or anytime girl whatever. Past 1071 00:53:11,280 --> 00:53:14,160 Speaker 1: selling sunsetses is what we're to come in and let 1072 00:53:14,239 --> 00:53:18,600 Speaker 1: us love on you like. It's probably not much Michigan 1073 00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:22,839 Speaker 1: Michigan girls right here. Yeah, yeah, that's why you're so cool. 1074 00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:23,040 Speaker 2: Though. 1075 00:53:23,680 --> 00:53:27,840 Speaker 1: The Midwest Midwest girls are just different, hustle harder. 1076 00:53:28,760 --> 00:53:29,560 Speaker 4: I think so too. 1077 00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:30,880 Speaker 1: I said sorry to. 1078 00:53:30,880 --> 00:53:33,839 Speaker 4: Somebody that Midwest people like you could I can meet 1079 00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:37,080 Speaker 4: a serial killer and be like Midwest. If they were Midwest, 1080 00:53:37,120 --> 00:53:38,879 Speaker 4: I'll be like, you. 1081 00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:44,520 Speaker 1: Must have had a good reason. Girl. Please come to 1082 00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:47,600 Speaker 1: Nashville and let us love on you less aggressively because 1083 00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:49,280 Speaker 1: of your sweet back, and we could just be together. 1084 00:53:51,239 --> 00:53:54,760 Speaker 4: Does anybody need your house decorated or anything? I would come, girl. 1085 00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:57,520 Speaker 1: I'm moving in my house. I'm moving into my new 1086 00:53:57,520 --> 00:54:03,560 Speaker 1: house in two days, so nursery, let's go, let's go. 1087 00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:06,640 Speaker 1: Oh my god, you're amazing. Yeah, I love it. Okay, 1088 00:54:06,880 --> 00:54:10,399 Speaker 1: I'll d M you. Okay, all right, girlfriend, I love 1089 00:54:10,480 --> 00:54:13,000 Speaker 1: you all right, love you so much. Thank you friend. 1090 00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:30,960 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I can't. I can't imagine. Guys, I 1091 00:54:31,239 --> 00:54:34,680 Speaker 1: you be a our best friend. I know many people 1092 00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:36,440 Speaker 1: we like kind of force into friendship. I know I 1093 00:54:36,920 --> 00:54:39,320 Speaker 1: totally slid into Tiffany's d MS. I was like, anytime 1094 00:54:39,320 --> 00:54:41,359 Speaker 1: you're back in h She's like, oh, I definitely would 1095 00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:43,880 Speaker 1: love to friend that. I'm always like chann to make 1096 00:54:43,920 --> 00:54:47,600 Speaker 1: them our friend, our friend. But I just I can't 1097 00:54:47,640 --> 00:54:52,799 Speaker 1: imagine everything. Oh all that and what crazy you know? 1098 00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:54,839 Speaker 1: And I think it's hard to This is one thing. 1099 00:54:54,920 --> 00:54:55,080 Speaker 2: I know. 1100 00:54:55,080 --> 00:54:57,080 Speaker 1: We've talked about this a bit, but like I am 1101 00:54:57,200 --> 00:55:00,480 Speaker 1: just I think we all are similar ish, but like 1102 00:55:00,520 --> 00:55:03,680 Speaker 1: I don't ask for help when I need it hardly ever, 1103 00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:06,319 Speaker 1: and then I feel like when I do. It's it's 1104 00:55:06,360 --> 00:55:08,880 Speaker 1: hard to rely on people, and so I can't imagine 1105 00:55:08,880 --> 00:55:13,200 Speaker 1: being in a position where I literally cannot help my 1106 00:55:13,360 --> 00:55:18,239 Speaker 1: kids and have to rely on people to help me. 1107 00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:20,120 Speaker 1: And like what I mean, it's just like a piece 1108 00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:22,319 Speaker 1: of you when you're that, when we're when you're wired 1109 00:55:22,360 --> 00:55:25,080 Speaker 1: the way we're wired, that's its own morning too, you know, 1110 00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:27,840 Speaker 1: tricky layered. 1111 00:55:28,520 --> 00:55:29,439 Speaker 2: She had to figure it out. 1112 00:55:29,840 --> 00:55:34,520 Speaker 1: She's amazing. Do we get to talk about your emergency visit? 1113 00:55:35,239 --> 00:55:37,480 Speaker 1: You had an emergency visit, That's what she was saying. 1114 00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:39,840 Speaker 3: I thought you made you were touring the hospital. 1115 00:55:39,880 --> 00:55:42,160 Speaker 1: That's what I did. We did tour the hospital. But 1116 00:55:42,200 --> 00:55:46,799 Speaker 1: what's the other you brought it? I know, but I 1117 00:55:46,840 --> 00:55:50,080 Speaker 1: was like, yell, are welcome. I didn't tell yeah because 1118 00:55:50,120 --> 00:55:53,160 Speaker 1: I was embarrassed. Don't be embarrassed. I've gone. I feel 1119 00:55:53,160 --> 00:56:03,120 Speaker 1: like I wasted my one. You don't get anymore, baby, 1120 00:56:03,160 --> 00:56:07,400 Speaker 1: do you remember? Yeah, you're like way you were, way closer. 1121 00:56:07,640 --> 00:56:08,919 Speaker 1: I feel that way. 1122 00:56:08,960 --> 00:56:11,280 Speaker 3: In case something happens, I'm afraid you're like, we already 1123 00:56:11,280 --> 00:56:11,719 Speaker 3: had my one. 1124 00:56:11,760 --> 00:56:15,800 Speaker 1: I can't go the rules you create for yourself again. 1125 00:56:15,840 --> 00:56:17,759 Speaker 1: I don't want to inconvenience Alan. If I have to, 1126 00:56:17,800 --> 00:56:20,560 Speaker 1: we have to I know, which is like so silly 1127 00:56:20,600 --> 00:56:23,080 Speaker 1: because we had guess you're pregnant with this baby. I 1128 00:56:23,160 --> 00:56:25,759 Speaker 1: need to say that out loud. I never, You're never 1129 00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:29,160 Speaker 1: because you're pregnant with this baby, right, I know. But 1130 00:56:29,280 --> 00:56:32,359 Speaker 1: I just felt I felt stupid. I felt like it 1131 00:56:32,400 --> 00:56:34,680 Speaker 1: was a waste of time. No, again they go back 1132 00:56:34,719 --> 00:56:38,560 Speaker 1: to like what I've talked about was right. But but yes, 1133 00:56:38,920 --> 00:56:40,440 Speaker 1: So we were on a uh we were doing a 1134 00:56:40,440 --> 00:56:44,200 Speaker 1: double date with one of our neighbors, and uh, I 1135 00:56:44,239 --> 00:56:47,000 Speaker 1: had so I'm used to the round ligament pain. Yeah, 1136 00:56:47,840 --> 00:56:51,319 Speaker 1: get that, I know that, but I had stabbing. I 1137 00:56:51,360 --> 00:56:53,400 Speaker 1: mean like it was like someone was taking a knife 1138 00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:55,520 Speaker 1: to the middle of my belly button and I was 1139 00:56:55,560 --> 00:56:58,239 Speaker 1: like I had never felt that pain before. So I 1140 00:56:58,280 --> 00:57:00,920 Speaker 1: was like I like like, I was like this is 1141 00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:02,840 Speaker 1: this is that's new and it scared me. And it 1142 00:57:02,880 --> 00:57:05,560 Speaker 1: happened like every it was like thirty seconds to a minute, 1143 00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:09,000 Speaker 1: like at least like four or five times. We were 1144 00:57:09,040 --> 00:57:12,719 Speaker 1: already downtown and I texted doctor Norman and I was like, 1145 00:57:12,840 --> 00:57:16,400 Speaker 1: I'm having stabbing pains in my belly button. And again, 1146 00:57:16,440 --> 00:57:18,280 Speaker 1: that was my first text to her ever that I've 1147 00:57:18,280 --> 00:57:21,760 Speaker 1: had her number. So like it I felt like that too, 1148 00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:23,800 Speaker 1: so I was like, I know. So it was just 1149 00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:28,000 Speaker 1: like and she and she goes go to the hospital, yes, 1150 00:57:28,640 --> 00:57:32,320 Speaker 1: because that doesn't that doesn't sound right. But then it 1151 00:57:32,400 --> 00:57:34,880 Speaker 1: started to stop, right, so then it was like not 1152 00:57:34,960 --> 00:57:37,600 Speaker 1: as bad. So then I'm like, well, just because we're 1153 00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:39,200 Speaker 1: going to go there, they're going to say it's fine. 1154 00:57:39,400 --> 00:57:41,360 Speaker 1: And then he's like, what do you want to do that? 1155 00:57:41,440 --> 00:57:43,640 Speaker 1: And I'm like, well, let's just go. And then I 1156 00:57:43,640 --> 00:57:44,920 Speaker 1: was like, well, I don't know though, because what if 1157 00:57:44,920 --> 00:57:46,120 Speaker 1: it is something? You know, then you start to thinking 1158 00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:48,160 Speaker 1: what if it is something because I've never felt this, 1159 00:57:48,360 --> 00:57:51,240 Speaker 1: Like I don't this is not what I've ever felt before. 1160 00:57:51,840 --> 00:57:53,400 Speaker 1: So then we ended up He's like, I'm going to 1161 00:57:53,440 --> 00:57:55,800 Speaker 1: make the decision for you, and we're going. I was 1162 00:57:55,840 --> 00:57:58,120 Speaker 1: just like okay, And in my mind I'm like thank 1163 00:57:58,120 --> 00:58:00,360 Speaker 1: you because I would have said just go home, right. 1164 00:58:00,840 --> 00:58:03,520 Speaker 1: And so then were there so I was having contractions. 1165 00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:05,480 Speaker 1: Oh wow, that's what I was gonna say. I had 1166 00:58:05,480 --> 00:58:08,240 Speaker 1: the same pain. I had never felt that before. I 1167 00:58:08,240 --> 00:58:09,960 Speaker 1: don't know if it's the third or what. I had 1168 00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:12,560 Speaker 1: never felt it either, But I honestly be like, and 1169 00:58:12,680 --> 00:58:17,360 Speaker 1: anybody else that's listening, you have to pay attention. The 1170 00:58:17,440 --> 00:58:20,120 Speaker 1: smallest things can be the biggest things, and we just 1171 00:58:20,200 --> 00:58:22,520 Speaker 1: have to go in and you know what, none of 1172 00:58:22,520 --> 00:58:24,320 Speaker 1: those hell I've worked on the I work on the 1173 00:58:24,360 --> 00:58:27,880 Speaker 1: nonprofit side with doctor Norman and that whole team. None 1174 00:58:27,960 --> 00:58:31,640 Speaker 1: of them are ever tired of us being cautious about 1175 00:58:31,640 --> 00:58:35,360 Speaker 1: our bodies and babies bodies period. You can never maybe 1176 00:58:35,400 --> 00:58:40,240 Speaker 1: you could text her too much, but you can never 1177 00:58:40,320 --> 00:58:43,080 Speaker 1: reach out enough. You can never check enough. Like the 1178 00:58:43,120 --> 00:58:45,600 Speaker 1: tiniest things are the biggest things, and that just makes 1179 00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:47,120 Speaker 1: you a good mom. So you need to get in. 1180 00:58:47,280 --> 00:58:49,880 Speaker 1: I mean, we've done this three times. Yeah, that's where 1181 00:58:50,400 --> 00:58:53,560 Speaker 1: you had had contractions. Uh did you have contractions with 1182 00:58:53,560 --> 00:58:54,160 Speaker 1: with Jolie? 1183 00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:54,600 Speaker 2: Yeah? 1184 00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:57,960 Speaker 1: I did almost. I don't really. 1185 00:58:57,760 --> 00:58:59,959 Speaker 3: Remember if I had it because I didn't. 1186 00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:02,320 Speaker 1: And I think too because our bodies grow differently. It's 1187 00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:06,040 Speaker 1: the third time, so there's something that stretches differently too. Yeah, 1188 00:59:06,080 --> 00:59:08,560 Speaker 1: it's weird. But I was contracting too, and I said, well, 1189 00:59:08,600 --> 00:59:10,400 Speaker 1: is this like Braxton Hicks because I had never had 1190 00:59:10,440 --> 00:59:14,360 Speaker 1: that before. Yeah, and she said no, it's early labor, 1191 00:59:14,720 --> 00:59:16,800 Speaker 1: but this could go on for months. Yeah yeah, I 1192 00:59:16,840 --> 00:59:19,440 Speaker 1: mean yeah, because I was at twenty eight weeks, I know, 1193 00:59:19,760 --> 00:59:21,600 Speaker 1: so She's like, yeah, we saw a contraction on the 1194 00:59:21,680 --> 00:59:23,640 Speaker 1: on the thing, and I was like, well that's then that. Yeah, 1195 00:59:23,680 --> 00:59:25,680 Speaker 1: that's that. So I was like, well, at least I 1196 00:59:25,680 --> 00:59:27,320 Speaker 1: was like, so I walk out again. I always have 1197 00:59:27,360 --> 00:59:29,320 Speaker 1: to have a reason for something going in so that 1198 00:59:29,360 --> 00:59:30,680 Speaker 1: it was not inconvenience. I was like, see I was 1199 00:59:30,720 --> 00:59:33,680 Speaker 1: having contractions. It's like, yea, even if you weren't, it's okay. 1200 00:59:35,360 --> 00:59:40,040 Speaker 1: But I know I didn't like I would just see 1201 00:59:40,040 --> 00:59:42,479 Speaker 1: that that's a contraction. That definitely is when they said it. 1202 00:59:43,280 --> 00:59:45,160 Speaker 1: But I also, I will say this because it's a 1203 00:59:45,160 --> 00:59:47,080 Speaker 1: new hospital to both of us. I also enjoyed that 1204 00:59:47,120 --> 00:59:48,520 Speaker 1: I had a dry run and I knew where to 1205 00:59:48,560 --> 00:59:51,480 Speaker 1: go and made me take a little ease too, because 1206 00:59:51,720 --> 00:59:53,160 Speaker 1: the last thing you needed to do is be like 1207 00:59:54,040 --> 00:59:56,800 Speaker 1: wandering around. Well yeah, so anyways, so that was that. 1208 00:59:57,240 --> 00:59:59,080 Speaker 1: I'm proud of you, thank you. Oh and I'm more 1209 00:59:59,120 --> 01:00:01,120 Speaker 1: proud of Alan, but proud of you. I know, I 1210 01:00:01,160 --> 01:00:03,360 Speaker 1: love the fact that he said that. But no, the 1211 01:00:03,760 --> 01:00:05,760 Speaker 1: Kim Kardashian thing on the side note, I was like, 1212 01:00:05,760 --> 01:00:10,440 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, what happened because she had surgery Courtney 1213 01:00:10,440 --> 01:00:15,960 Speaker 1: Courtney sorry means Courtney. Yeah, scary, so scary fetal surgery. 1214 01:00:16,040 --> 01:00:19,080 Speaker 1: So I was just like, oh my god, and then 1215 01:00:19,120 --> 01:00:21,400 Speaker 1: it just starts to Then I started reading what what 1216 01:00:21,440 --> 01:00:23,320 Speaker 1: does that mean? Because I knew you could have well 1217 01:00:24,400 --> 01:00:26,959 Speaker 1: different so she must be under a certain because I'm like. 1218 01:00:27,520 --> 01:00:29,800 Speaker 3: Well, there could be certain things, Yeah, it could happen. 1219 01:00:29,880 --> 01:00:31,920 Speaker 1: Well, she's an older mom too, so they're just cautious 1220 01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:36,560 Speaker 1: about anyways. Okay, well, good episode, glad you're well, Love 1221 01:00:36,600 --> 01:00:38,120 Speaker 1: you guys, and we'll see you next week in the 1222 01:00:38,160 --> 01:00:38,600 Speaker 1: new house. 1223 01:00:38,840 --> 01:00:41,000 Speaker 4: Ye bye bye