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Speaker 1: Conversations on life, style, beauty, and relationships. It's The Velvet's

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Speaker 1: Edge Podcast with Kelly Henderson. Okay, I'm here with Clara Beldon,

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Speaker 1: who is the founder of the Happy Hour in Nashville.

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Speaker 1: So this is a new business. And actually when the

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Speaker 1: first time I drove, but I thought it was a bar.

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Speaker 1: Do you get that a lot? We guess that a lot.

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Speaker 1: Luckily we're in a neighborhood that has a lot of

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Speaker 1: other bars in places to get drinks that we can

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Speaker 1: not disappoint people too much. So you started this company? Actually,

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Speaker 1: how long ago was this? It was during COVID, right, Well, yeah,

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Speaker 1: so we started it a little before COVID. We started

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Speaker 1: doing pop ups back in um and then we took

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Speaker 1: it everything virtual during COVID, before we found our space

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Speaker 1: UM here into our South. So what made you decide

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Speaker 1: to start a business like this? Yeah, well, my passion

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Speaker 1: for mental health and just kind of personal experience and

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Speaker 1: it goes back to as far as I can remember,

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Speaker 1: to be honest with you, UM, I had a lot

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Speaker 1: of family members and loved ones across generations UM starting

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Speaker 1: with older aunt and uncles that really suffered from different

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Speaker 1: mental health struggles. Kind of across the board, across the spectrum,

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Speaker 1: and even though everyone's experience was different, the same thing.

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Speaker 1: The common theme was that nobody wanted to talk about it,

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Speaker 1: you know, even when they were ready to talk about

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Speaker 1: it and get help. It's such a taboo thing that

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Speaker 1: was so hard and confusing, like where to even start,

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Speaker 1: what's the first step to getting help? Um? Which is

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Speaker 1: crazy because before COVID of Americans will struggle from a

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Speaker 1: mental health disorder. And that's just people who have been diagnosed,

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Speaker 1: you know, and so it's something that impacts all of us.

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Speaker 1: So it's always been a huge passion of mine. UM.

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Speaker 1: And fast forward many years. I went to business school

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Speaker 1: here at Vandy, and I always knew, like when I

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Speaker 1: was going back to business school, wanted to eventually start

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Speaker 1: a business that would help the community in some way. UM.

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Speaker 1: But before I did that, I went to work at

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Speaker 1: a big corporation doing brand marketing, so I could really

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Speaker 1: get an understanding of how to run a business. UM.

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Speaker 1: When you're in brand marketing, you're kind of like the

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Speaker 1: CEO of your brand UM. And so that was really great.

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Speaker 1: But then I started to experience my own mental health struggles. UM.

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Speaker 1: I remember before I left there. I took one of

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Speaker 1: those online assessments for anxiety. I don't know if you've

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Speaker 1: ever done that, but they're all there, and um, well,

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Speaker 1: don't do it. But I was gonna say I'd be

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Speaker 1: off the charts. I'm sure. I mean, it's it's like

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Speaker 1: googling do I have right right diagnosis? But I was, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I was off the charts. I think I was one

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Speaker 1: point away from the highest you could get. And I

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Speaker 1: was like, and this is me mental health advocate, right,

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Speaker 1: like know how to take care of yourself, really into

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Speaker 1: self development and personal development. I was kind of just like,

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Speaker 1: how did I let myself get here? And I've got

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Speaker 1: to make a change. And right about the same time,

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Speaker 1: my cousin actually who shares passion for the same reasons, um,

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Speaker 1: she actually had the original idea. She would you know.

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Speaker 1: She came to me and was like, what if we

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Speaker 1: worked on a business that made it is just as

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Speaker 1: easy to talk to a therapist as it is to

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Speaker 1: go get your nails done. And I was like, that's awesome,

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Speaker 1: Like what a great idea. Now after actually executing it it,

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Speaker 1: it wasn't like quite as easy to um, you know,

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Speaker 1: just to make it that simple. But that's kind of

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Speaker 1: what sparked the idea, and so um, very long story short,

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Speaker 1: we really just did this to make it approachable to

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Speaker 1: talk about your mental health, to make it even cool

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Speaker 1: to go work on your mental health, because it is cool.

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Speaker 1: It's just as cool as going to yoga class or anything. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I do feel like maybe the stigma around therapy or

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Speaker 1: talking through your feelings and all of those things is

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Speaker 1: slightly starting to fade away, and people are really starting

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Speaker 1: to understand how beneficial this can be to your life

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Speaker 1: in general, not even just your mental health, but every

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Speaker 1: relationship you have, your jobs, just every part of your life.

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Speaker 1: Are you seeing that stigma kind of fade absolutely? Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think it was kind of starting, you know, some

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Speaker 1: more celebrities and things like that, we're starting to talk

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Speaker 1: about it, and then when the pandemic hit, I mean

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Speaker 1: it was something mental health struggles of some sort, was

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Speaker 1: something that every single person experienced, you know, and so

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Speaker 1: made it so much more top of mind and permissible

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Speaker 1: to start talking about. Well, that's what I was actually

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Speaker 1: gonna ask you if COVID affected your business at all

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Speaker 1: in a positive way, because unfortunately, like I've heard it

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Speaker 1: said a million times that this was a collective trauma

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Speaker 1: that we all faced. And so what kind of things

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Speaker 1: were you guys seeing as far as mental health goes

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Speaker 1: during the pandemic. I think the biggest thing that we

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Speaker 1: were seeing during the pandemic, well, there there were two.

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Speaker 1: One was burn out, Um, just because you're a lot

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Speaker 1: of people's offices went into their house, right and like

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Speaker 1: there were no boundaries. You're always on your workplace, knows

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Speaker 1: like that you're not going out and doing anything because

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Speaker 1: everything is shut down. So people were just like working

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Speaker 1: around the clock and also worried about losing their jobs

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Speaker 1: because so many people were getting laid off, which is

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Speaker 1: very understandable. Um. And then the other thing we saw

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Speaker 1: that was I think a positive is that the pandemic

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Speaker 1: really force people to slow down in a lot of ways,

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Speaker 1: but also to like take stock of their life, to

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Speaker 1: take inventory of their life and what they were doing,

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Speaker 1: and they're like, why am I doing this job or

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Speaker 1: why am I doing this thing every day that doesn't

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Speaker 1: bring me purpose and fulfillment. You know. It just kind

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Speaker 1: of changed the perspective and people were able to take

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Speaker 1: a step back and say, like, I want to make

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Speaker 1: a change. For the second act of my life to

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Speaker 1: to do something that makes me happy. That's so interesting.

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Speaker 1: I didn't realize that was a collective feeling because I

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Speaker 1: definitely went through that. I think it's like the pause,

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Speaker 1: like you said, it made you stop and think. And

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Speaker 1: then also, I know for me, a lot of my

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Speaker 1: job disappeared because the industry disappeared, and so I was

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Speaker 1: left to be like, wait, is this actually fulfilling me?

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Speaker 1: Or what parts of it are? And what parts of

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Speaker 1: it are? Am I just so deep into every day

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Speaker 1: that I don't even realize I don't like doing it anymore,

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Speaker 1: you know, like it's just sort of like mindlessly going

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Speaker 1: through life. Did you see a lot of that? Oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh. Yeah. And I've been guilty of this before too.

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Speaker 1: It's like you because that's where you spend most of

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Speaker 1: your time, Like your identity becomes so wrapped up in

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Speaker 1: your job, whether you like it or not. You know,

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Speaker 1: it's it's hard for people to realize what they actually

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Speaker 1: do enjoy outside of work. Yeah, I mean that was honestly,

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Speaker 1: the identity piece was a huge part for me. Was

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Speaker 1: just like who am I without this? You know, once

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Speaker 1: it goes okay, it's it was like good, I feel

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Speaker 1: like it was almost like we all had a midlife crisis.

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Speaker 1: Even if you aren't mid life like we totally did.

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Speaker 1: It stripped you of all the extra stuff, right, made

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Speaker 1: you look at yourself and who you are. Yeah. Well,

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Speaker 1: so I kind of dove into why you started this

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Speaker 1: business without even mentioning what the business actually is. It's

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Speaker 1: not a bar. It's called the Happy Hour, um, but

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Speaker 1: you guys do offer You offer therapy, correct, and then

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Speaker 1: you also offer coaching, which I want to talk about

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Speaker 1: both of those things later. But it's one building that

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Speaker 1: people can go. You can either do individual sessions or

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Speaker 1: group sessions. UM. I spent a lot of time on

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Speaker 1: your website the past day or so, and I was

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Speaker 1: reading the one tagline that says we're here to make

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Speaker 1: the world a happier place, one conversation at a time.

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Speaker 1: So in your experience, like a question I would have

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Speaker 1: towards that as a collective, do you think that we

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Speaker 1: have a hard time talking about hard things? I do?

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Speaker 1: I do? You know? We think I think things are changing. Um,

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Speaker 1: but I think at least how a lot of us

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Speaker 1: were brought up, it was like kind of shoving under

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Speaker 1: the rug, don't talk about it. If there's something wrong

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Speaker 1: with you, it might be used against you or it'll

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Speaker 1: close up opportunities for you. And what that's done to

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Speaker 1: so many people has has created this like shame culture,

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Speaker 1: like and it's most people have the most shame towards themselves. Right, Um,

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Speaker 1: I can't do anything wrong, I can't mess up um.

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Speaker 1: And because people feel like they can't talk about the

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Speaker 1: hard stuff, they can't talk about what's going wrong in

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Speaker 1: their lives, when little do they know that, like this

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Speaker 1: is something is going wrong in everybody's life. Right, that's

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Speaker 1: so interesting. It's like comparing um outside and insides. My

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Speaker 1: mom always says that you know, you can't compare your

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Speaker 1: inside to someone else's outside because you just never really

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Speaker 1: know what's happening with people. Yes, I love that saying, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: why do you think that we have such a hard

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Speaker 1: time talking about this kind of stuff. Do you think

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Speaker 1: that it's we just weren't ever taught to do these

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Speaker 1: kind of things, or do you think that it's just

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Speaker 1: the vulnerability of it as a society we're not comfortable

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Speaker 1: with that. Yeah, I think it's both. I think for

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Speaker 1: our age anyways, I think you know, our parents certainly

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Speaker 1: weren't taught to talk about their feelings, and so then

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Speaker 1: they've probably for the most part. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: generalize everybody, but they weren't teaching us to talk about

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Speaker 1: our feelings. And it's kind of just just like grin

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Speaker 1: and bear it and get through it and be tough,

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Speaker 1: and that's how you become successful. Um. I also think,

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Speaker 1: you know, some people confuse vulnerability as weakness, but what

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Speaker 1: I always tell people is, like vulnerability, it doesn't have

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Speaker 1: to be like you or me out here telling everybody

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Speaker 1: or deepest dark as secrets. It's just sharing the true

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Speaker 1: parts of you with the people who have earned that

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Speaker 1: from you, you know. And that's that's something that Burnet

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Speaker 1: Brown talks about a lot. Yeah, say more about that.

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Speaker 1: The people that have earned more earned that that. I

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Speaker 1: don't know, what did you say that. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: You said it way better than I'm trying to say,

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Speaker 1: never again, But you said that that people need to

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Speaker 1: earn that, right, I guess to know that those parts

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Speaker 1: of you. Yeah. So, I just I think there's a

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Speaker 1: misunderstanding with vulnerable reality that you have to get on

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Speaker 1: Instagram and share every deepest, darkest piece of you to everybody.

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Speaker 1: You don't know, and if if you want to, that's

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Speaker 1: totally fine, but that it makes vulnerability really scary to people, right,

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Speaker 1: and so being able I think of it vulnerability and

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Speaker 1: Renee Brown talks about this a lot, is sharing the

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Speaker 1: real pieces of you, the good and bad, with the

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Speaker 1: people who are close to you, who have earned your

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Speaker 1: trust and who have earned that right into your your life.

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Speaker 1: If that makes sense. Yeah, that does make sense. And

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Speaker 1: I do feel like, especially with the social media world,

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Speaker 1: a lot of us have feel that pressure, you know,

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Speaker 1: to say like this is all the parts of me

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Speaker 1: or whatever, and sometimes people haven't earned that right. And

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Speaker 1: especially with the trolling culture culture and the cancel culture

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Speaker 1: and all of that stuff. It's like if you say,

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Speaker 1: if you say something and you say it in the

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Speaker 1: wrong way or whatever, and especially if you feel like

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Speaker 1: you're being vulnerable and trying to show yourself to people,

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Speaker 1: that could be a very difficult piece of that because

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Speaker 1: some people just can't handle it or can't process it,

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Speaker 1: or they don't deserve to know that about you. Yeah. Absolutely, absolutely,

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Speaker 1: So those are the kind of things you guys working

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Speaker 1: at the happy Hours, we mentioned that it's both therapy

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Speaker 1: and then also the coaching and when I actually came

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Speaker 1: in with a group of friends of mine and we

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Speaker 1: did a coaching intention setting class, And so I asked you,

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Speaker 1: I was like, what's the difference between therapy and like

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Speaker 1: life coach or coaching? What what is the difference? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so both therapy and coaching really help you to get

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Speaker 1: a better understanding of yourself than the world around you. Um.

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Speaker 1: The main difference between the two is that coaching focuses

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Speaker 1: on the here and now and moving forward, whereas therapy

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Speaker 1: can focus on the past. It can help you work

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Speaker 1: through past traumas. And and that's another thing. People think

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Speaker 1: trauma has to be something huge, um, but there's a

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Speaker 1: big tea and little t right, Like everyone's trauma is

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Speaker 1: their biggest trauma, and so UM therapy can help kind

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Speaker 1: of work through that, work through any past relationship things

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Speaker 1: where you're ready to take steps forward. You kind of

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Speaker 1: process the past, and then life coaching helps you to

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Speaker 1: define what successes for yourself personally, professionally, and then the

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Speaker 1: life coach is there to help you kind of map

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Speaker 1: out a plan to reach your goals. Yeah. So my

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Speaker 1: friends that I came in and weeds it. I think

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Speaker 1: you caught it an intention setting class, right, It was

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Speaker 1: like setting the intentions for our our year ahead. And

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Speaker 1: I have never done anything like that, but it was

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Speaker 1: one of the most cool experiences to to go through

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Speaker 1: with my friends. UM one for the vulnerability piece that

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Speaker 1: we mentioned earlier, because as much as you spend time

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Speaker 1: with your friends, it's so interesting because you can hear about,

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Speaker 1: you know, the bad stuff happening in their life or um,

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Speaker 1: the drama, the relationships, the hard parts of work and

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Speaker 1: all that stuff. But hearing someone's intention or desire or

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Speaker 1: needs and once is a whole different layer of relationship

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Speaker 1: to me. Like, it was so cool to hear my

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Speaker 1: friends openly talk about things that they felt like they

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Speaker 1: they needed and wanted to take into their year. UM,

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Speaker 1: how often are you getting like groups of friends or

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Speaker 1: I don't know, you've read on the website you guys

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Speaker 1: also do like corporate events, So how does that work?

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Speaker 1: Where would people go if they are so somehow like

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Speaker 1: interested in this, like talk a little bit through that experience? Yeah? Sure,

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Speaker 1: So we offer UM a lot of different workshops that

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Speaker 1: have specific topics to them that anybody they can sign

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Speaker 1: up for through our our website, Like we've got a

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Speaker 1: sound bath coming up. We have a workshop coming up

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Speaker 1: in June on re entry, like into your like how

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Speaker 1: re entry is just so overwhelming for everybody. Yeah. Um,

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Speaker 1: But then for anything with like friend groups, if you

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Speaker 1: want to bring your own like set of people in

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Speaker 1: or workshops, we like to really customize that, right, because

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Speaker 1: if you're bringing your group of friends in, we want

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Speaker 1: to make it something that's really specific to what you're

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Speaker 1: looking for. And so that's you would just call us

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Speaker 1: or email us and we could kick off that that

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Speaker 1: process for you. Okay, So if people listening are like

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Speaker 1: this sounds cool and stuff, but like I don't know

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Speaker 1: where to start or what I would need, how how

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Speaker 1: do you guide people through all the offerings that you have? Yeah, totally.

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Speaker 1: So typically I'll just tell them to call us. We

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Speaker 1: have a our licensed therapist or licensed professional counselor, Tanya,

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Speaker 1: who is also our director of professional Services. She will

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Speaker 1: have a phone call with you and kind of talk

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Speaker 1: through what you're looking for, um, and she'll help you

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Speaker 1: decide like should I come in for a class, because

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Speaker 1: we offer daily classes as well that don't go quite

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Speaker 1: as deep, but they teach you kind of mindfulness skills

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Speaker 1: you should you talk to a life coach privately, or

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Speaker 1: I think you should start with a therapist and then

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Speaker 1: when you're ready, you're ready to move to a life coach,

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Speaker 1: that kind of thing. So okay, um, yeah, calling calling

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Speaker 1: at the office to talk to her. Or if you're

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Speaker 1: like I've been to therapy before, I know I want

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Speaker 1: to do coaching. Now, you just go onto the website

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Speaker 1: and you can book then and there. And one thing

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Speaker 1: that we kind of that sets us apart is that

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Speaker 1: you can get in to talk to somebody when you're

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Speaker 1: in the midst of a problem. So it shouldn't take

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Speaker 1: you more than a day or two if that, to

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Speaker 1: to come see somebody. The way that our model is

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Speaker 1: set up, so if you're going through something, you don't

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Speaker 1: have to wait for I don't know, weeks or even

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Speaker 1: months to get in to talk to somebody. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: was gonna ask you why this would be less intimidating

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Speaker 1: to people than than actually just like specifically searching for

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Speaker 1: a therapist or UM maybe even being referred to someone else.

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Speaker 1: Why do you feel like this model works well? One?

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Speaker 1: I think because of that UM, but also just because

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Speaker 1: of our space. UM. You know, it's the way that

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Speaker 1: it's designed. Everything is super intentional to bring you into

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Speaker 1: a place of calm. UM. We you know, talk a

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Speaker 1: lot about how igniting your five senses can can really

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Speaker 1: ground you, and so we just signed the space to

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Speaker 1: do just that. UM. And it's also in a really

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Speaker 1: cool neighborhood next to a yoga studio, which is next

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Speaker 1: to a really great restaurant, which is next to a shop,

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Speaker 1: and so we're among other businesses that are are popular.

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Speaker 1: And it's not you know, in a doctor's office somewhere

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Speaker 1: that's in a scary place. It's it's a really fun

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Speaker 1: place to be. And what about do you guys offer

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Speaker 1: like zoom meetings and things like that, Because you know,

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Speaker 1: a lot of my listeners are not in Nashville. So

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Speaker 1: if there are any is there anyone, if there is

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Speaker 1: anyone listening that is not in town, do you have

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Speaker 1: any offerings that we could tell them about. Yeah, So

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Speaker 1: for out of town or out of Tennessee people, they

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Speaker 1: could do coaching with us. But the way that licenshire

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Speaker 1: is set up for the license therapist, UM, they would

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Speaker 1: not be able to do therapy via zoom unless the

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Speaker 1: person lived somewhere in Tennessee because you to for therapists,

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Speaker 1: you have to have license for that state that you're

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Speaker 1: practicing in. UM. But for coaching, we can see people

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Speaker 1: virtually UM. And even for people who are at home

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Speaker 1: right now and still aren't quite comfortable getting out just

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Speaker 1: because of COVID reasons, we can we can do virtual

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Speaker 1: for that for for anything cool. Well, my intention or

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Speaker 1: my word that we picked in the intention setting class

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Speaker 1: was truth. And so one of my truths is that

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Speaker 1: therapy and doing all of the talk talk therapy and

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Speaker 1: intention setting and all of that has greatly helped my

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Speaker 1: life improve. And so I'm really glad there's places like this,

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Speaker 1: and I hope that they continue to grow and people

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Speaker 1: continue to be more comfortable with this kind of stuff

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Speaker 1: and just connecting and talking things out because you're not alone.

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Speaker 1: And UM, I just really feel like we need to

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Speaker 1: normalize this sort of help for ourselves. Yeah, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: appreciate that so much. Yeah, this is like, why don't

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Speaker 1: we teach this in school? This is what I'm a

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm never used geometry. Why am I learning geometry?

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Speaker 1: I know? You know what they're starting to though, which

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Speaker 1: is amazing. So my father is is three and a half,

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Speaker 1: and she came home from school with all these books

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Speaker 1: called Little Spot of Emotion and there's like a little

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Speaker 1: Spot of sadness, a little Spot of happiness, a little

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Speaker 1: Spot of anxiety, and it literally teaches you about them,

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Speaker 1: and it teaches you. They don't call it mindfulness, but

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Speaker 1: it teaches you mindfulness tools to help you get through

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Speaker 1: whatever emotion you're experiencing. Good. This isn't happy. We need

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Speaker 1: to start like why, I know, you just need to

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Speaker 1: teach this, it's not. Once you start doing it, and

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Speaker 1: I think the awareness piece happens, things do get a

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Speaker 1: lot easier and you can see, oh, this doesn't make

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Speaker 1: me crazy. This actually makes me stronger, more courageous, all

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Speaker 1: of the things, more vulnerable, more peaceful, all of those things.

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Speaker 1: But we're just not taught that. Yeah, it's it's so

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Speaker 1: funny you say that. Actually, somebody said to me they

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Speaker 1: were like you you learned to therapy. I always thought

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Speaker 1: you were like so strong and smart and had it

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Speaker 1: all together, and I was like, you're like, what do

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Speaker 1: you I am? And why do you think I am? Guys,

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Speaker 1: I now have the tools to be able to keep

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Speaker 1: my life together. Yeah, let's switch that narrative. I like that.

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Speaker 1: I know. It is actually strong, it is smart, it

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Speaker 1: is sexy, it's all the things. Absolutely. Yeah. Oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: if a guy, I mean, I'm married, but if a

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Speaker 1: guy tells me that, like, oh, I've been to therapy,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, that is so attractive. Oh god. Yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: like one number one requirement. Yeah, I know. It's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you can handle your emotions and you're aware of what

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Speaker 1: you're feeling and how to get through that emotion. Yeah, totally. Well, Claire,

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Speaker 1: thank you so much for being here to tell people

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Speaker 1: where they can find you guys. Yeah, so you can

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Speaker 1: find us at the Happy Hour nash dot com um

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Speaker 1: and we're located on twelve South. So if you're ever

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Speaker 1: in the neighborhood in Angel South, Nashville, just stop on by.

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Speaker 1: Awesome and you guys are on social media at the

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Speaker 1: happy hour. Yeah, we're at the happy Hour Underscore nash Awesome.

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Speaker 1: You guys gonna check out the happy Hour and let's

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Speaker 1: keep this conversation going about openness and vulnerability and talking

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Speaker 1: through our problem. Let's just talk through um. I love

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Speaker 1: that all right, Thanks so much for listening, and Claria,

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Speaker 1: thank you for being here. Thanks for listening to The

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Speaker 1: Velvet's Edge podcast with Kelly Henderson, where we believe everyone

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Speaker 1: has a little velvet and a little edge. Subscribe for

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Speaker 1: more conversations on life, style, beauty and relationships. Search Velvet's

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Speaker 1: Edge wherever you get your podcasts.