Speaker 1: More More, More, More Better.
Speaker 2: Hi, everyone, producer isis here. I have some very cool
Speaker 2: news to share before we jump into today's episode, More
Speaker 2: Better with Stephanie and Melissa has been named a finalist
Speaker 2: in four categories at the Signal Awards. We're up for
Speaker 2: Best Comedy Episode for our vindication episode with the amazing
Speaker 2: Chelsea Peretti, plus Advice and how To Diversity, Equity and
Speaker 2: Inclusion and Buddy Podcast. We're so grateful to be recognized
Speaker 2: alongside so many talented creators, and we couldn't have done
Speaker 2: this without you, our listeners.
Speaker 3: So here's where you come in.
Speaker 2: There's a Listener's Choice Award in each of our four categories,
Speaker 2: which means you can vote for us four times.
Speaker 3: Here's how it works.
Speaker 2: Head to vote dot Signal Award dot com. That's v
Speaker 2: O T E, dot S I G N A l
Speaker 2: A w a rd dot com. Search for More Better
Speaker 2: and you'll see us pop up in four categories.
Speaker 3: Click into each.
Speaker 2: Category one by one and cast your vote.
Speaker 3: Voting is open.
Speaker 2: Through October ninth, and it takes just a couple of
Speaker 2: minutes to support us in all four We would be
Speaker 2: so honored and.
Speaker 4: Grateful for your votes.
Speaker 2: Thank you, so much for being the best listeners ever.
Speaker 2: Now let's get into the show.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thumbs up from Sophie and her hot hot computer,
Speaker 1: her Jacob Elordy.
Speaker 4: Computer, her jacob Alordi computer.
Speaker 1: It's call your laptop Jacob Alordi because it's so doesn't.
Speaker 3: Even have to talk.
Speaker 4: Sephanie loves a tall boy, a tall drink of water.
Speaker 1: Yes, you should have seen me at the US Open.
Speaker 4: I'm like shaking, oh my hands in your element.
Speaker 1: Sorry, we're recording that you can use that, you can
Speaker 1: use it. Here we go, guys, we watched the trailer
Speaker 1: for Wuthering Heights.
Speaker 4: Anyway.
Speaker 3: Welcome to More Better.
Speaker 2: More Better, More.
Speaker 3: Better.
Speaker 1: Welcome to More Better, a podcast where we stop pretending
Speaker 1: to have it all together and start getting real about
Speaker 1: how little we know about everything.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we're just trying to get by day.
Speaker 3: Is that our tagline?
Speaker 1: Day? I can't remember? Anyway, How are you doing? I'm great?
Speaker 3: How are you?
Speaker 1: Let's not pretend we didn't just record. We also just
Speaker 1: recorded a different episode, guys, so we have been talking
Speaker 1: to each other. Let's discuss what we were just watching,
Speaker 1: which is the Margot Robie, Robbie and Jacoba Loordi trailer
Speaker 1: to Wuthering Heights.
Speaker 4: Robby, I don't actually that trailer made me realize that
Speaker 4: I don't remember the storyline to Wavering Heights, or it's
Speaker 4: just so goddamn different that it didn't trigger anything for me.
Speaker 3: I feel like it's very different.
Speaker 1: I feel like it's an a a loose adaptation.
Speaker 4: You know, a lot, a lot of looseness in that trailer,
Speaker 4: I'll tell you that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a lot of a lot of tightening happening. I
Speaker 1: think there's probably gonna be some naughtiness. There were some
Speaker 1: images of eggs, probably to have to do with like
Speaker 1: fertility and Wathering Heights was a good book. It was
Speaker 1: very romantic. That's what I remember. I'm gonna reread it.
Speaker 1: I feel like the trailer for the movie was very
Speaker 1: horny as opposed to a romantic.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm not mad at it. Though they can be both.
Speaker 3: It can be both. Romance can be honey and.
Speaker 1: Vice versa, vice versa, vice versa, which is correct?
Speaker 3: I don't know vice versa. I think vice versa. Anyway.
Speaker 1: I'll go see it in Valentine's Day, Honey, I will
Speaker 1: be in line and Opening Night in my bottles.
Speaker 4: Should we make it a girls' night.
Speaker 1: We absolutely should. We have to get we have to
Speaker 1: get all dressed up like it's ren Fair to get
Speaker 1: calls new We have to, we have to know, we
Speaker 1: have to. Oh my god, now we have to. I'm
Speaker 1: obsessed with this idea. Guys, please join us in theaters
Speaker 1: across the country. We're not in this movie. We're not
Speaker 1: in it. We have nothing, we have nothing to do,
Speaker 1: we have nothing to do with it. We're just excited
Speaker 1: for it to come out. And you know, just see
Speaker 1: Jacob Lordy not wait Town, put.
Speaker 4: On some ren fair outfits. Oh my gosh, that tall
Speaker 4: drink of water, and be uncomfortable watching erotica in a
Speaker 4: theater full of women.
Speaker 1: It's my favorite place to watch erotica. Guys, we're what
Speaker 1: have you done lately between now and the last time
Speaker 1: we talked?
Speaker 3: It's more better.
Speaker 4: Well, you know, I got a mammogram today.
Speaker 3: What you got a mammogram?
Speaker 4: So I got my I got my titty squeeze. Speaking
Speaker 4: of erotica, the.
Speaker 3: Least, the least erotic thing that you can do, I will.
Speaker 4: Actually I do have a funny I guess funny story.
Speaker 4: It was this is very If you know me, you're
Speaker 4: like of course this happened to you, Melissa Famero. So
Speaker 4: I'm wearing this little cute, little cotton T shirt dress, right,
Speaker 4: and I go for my mammogram. And here's the thing.
Speaker 4: I think when I first made an appointment, I like
Speaker 4: went between these two places and maybe couldn't get an
Speaker 4: appointment at one and went to another one. And then
Speaker 4: but the one that I couldn't get an appointment with
Speaker 4: set me a reminder like it's time to schedule a mammogram,
Speaker 4: and I was like, okay. So I walked into this
Speaker 4: place and I was like, this isn't where I went before.
Speaker 4: And I was like, have I been here before? But
Speaker 4: I've been to that building because it's like a medical building,
Speaker 4: so I was it was all very confusing anyway. So
Speaker 4: she brings me to the dressing room and she's like,
Speaker 4: your gown's in there. Gives me you know, they say
Speaker 4: this like a million times a day, and then my
Speaker 4: appointment like in the afternoon, and so she's going through
Speaker 4: it kind of quickly, and I'm half listening because I'm
Speaker 4: in my mind still thinking.
Speaker 3: Is this the place I went to before?
Speaker 4: Yeah? So then I go in and I look and
Speaker 4: it's not a gown, but a shirt that they give you,
Speaker 4: and I'm wearing a dress, so it is a shirt
Speaker 4: that ends at your waist and I'm wearing a dress.
Speaker 3: Okay, so now I'm.
Speaker 1: Not I know what I would do, but I can't
Speaker 1: wait to hear what you did.
Speaker 4: So I'm standing there paralyzed, thinking do I put this
Speaker 4: shirt on and go out in my thong and just
Speaker 4: act like this is normal? Or do I figure out
Speaker 4: how to wrap this dress around my waist. So what
Speaker 4: I end up doing is I the neckline of this
Speaker 4: dress is a little was a little high, and I'm like,
Speaker 4: I don't know if I can squeeze my shoulders and
Speaker 4: arms through this. But I was like, what choice do
Speaker 4: you have, bitch, because how are you going to tie
Speaker 4: this leaveless T shirt dress around your waist? Like that
Speaker 4: makes no sense, and also you can't walk out into
Speaker 4: the hallway with your ass out that also seems crazy.
Speaker 4: So I stretched the neck and squeezed my arms through
Speaker 4: it and left it around my waist.
Speaker 3: Like a little skirt.
Speaker 4: Yep, like a little skirt. But while all this was happening,
Speaker 4: the woman was like Melissa. I was like, oh, yes,
Speaker 4: one minute, because I'm taking far longer than all the
Speaker 4: other women take to just take off a goddamn shirt
Speaker 4: and put on that god wrap shirt thing that they
Speaker 4: give you that you end up taking off in the
Speaker 4: room anyway, Right, Yeah, So that's that's what I did.
Speaker 4: So then I left thinking, how do I remind myself
Speaker 4: next year to not wear a dress, wear pain ladies essay,
Speaker 4: wear pants or shorts or skirt to your mammogram appointment, because.
Speaker 1: You gotta.
Speaker 3: When you put well.
Speaker 4: I obviously wasn't thinking about the logistics of the appointment,
Speaker 4: and I think maybe I just thought it was like
Speaker 4: a gown, But then that doesn't make sense.
Speaker 1: I just do you think about it, have asked for
Speaker 1: a gown? You probably could have asked for a gown,
Speaker 1: but you were like.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna make this work. This warning it's.
Speaker 4: When my people pleasing like good, good girl, good student,
Speaker 4: beside of my personality comes out that I think is
Speaker 4: like healed and like gone. And then I'm in a
Speaker 4: doctor's office and they're calling my name and I'm like,
Speaker 4: god damn it, squeezing the dress down to my waist
Speaker 4: to make this work. I can't ask for anything. I'm up.
Speaker 4: I'm up next the reality busy. You could have been like,
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, I just didn't think I wore a dress.
Speaker 4: I just didn't thank you. I could have.
Speaker 5: It.
Speaker 4: We have down here building them.
Speaker 3: Sure I can.
Speaker 4: So we have little like medical pants for you to
Speaker 4: throw on, like yeah, probably, but Nope. Instead, my anxiety
Speaker 4: just went make it work.
Speaker 3: I've I've left.
Speaker 1: I've definitely been there before where I'm like, oh no,
Speaker 1: I've worn the wrong thing, you know, or like they'll
Speaker 1: they'll be like, please strip down to your underwear and
Speaker 1: I'm like, what don't wear I need today?
Speaker 4: So so yeah, but I get to know each other
Speaker 4: good real quick.
Speaker 3: I've asked.
Speaker 1: Since then, I've been like sometimes I'm like, do you
Speaker 1: have any of those paper phons that I could have?
Speaker 3: And they're like sure, I'm glad you wouldn't. Got your
Speaker 3: mamma Grandma.
Speaker 1: That reminds me I needed to get my mammogram and
Speaker 1: a colonoscopy.
Speaker 4: Honey, girls, schedule doctor's appointments? Is that time a year.
Speaker 1: It's time for the colonoscopy. I don't want to do it,
Speaker 1: but I also don't want to have something wrong.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you got to do it.
Speaker 1: No important, I gotta do it it's got I gotta do it.
Speaker 3: Do it.
Speaker 4: You gotta do it. You gotta drink the bad drink.
Speaker 3: You've done it.
Speaker 4: I haven't done it yet.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, well full report? Yeah, please all full
Speaker 1: report when I get it. Yeah, I'm I'm probably due
Speaker 1: for that soon this year, next year.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I feel like.
Speaker 1: They've up, they've upped the I used to be forty
Speaker 1: five that you needed to get a cool and mask,
Speaker 1: and now it's forty.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I do need.
Speaker 1: My general practitioner told me so shit, So I got
Speaker 1: a schedule mine.
Speaker 3: Okay, more better. Today we're talking about bodies.
Speaker 4: Today's topic is from a listener from Joetta. Let's roll
Speaker 4: the tape as they say.
Speaker 5: Hey guys, my name is Joetta. I absolutely love your podcast.
Speaker 5: To be completely honest, I've never been a podcast person.
Speaker 5: I always feel like it's background noise, I can't pay attention,
Speaker 5: and it's just like a waste of time. But I
Speaker 5: heard about your guys' podcast and I watch Brooklyn nine
Speaker 5: nine on repeat. Absolutely love you guys on the show.
Speaker 5: So I was like, you know what, I'm going to
Speaker 5: take a chance. So what I would like to be
Speaker 5: more better at is loving my body for the way
Speaker 5: it is. I have gone through a lot of health issues.
Speaker 5: I've been diagnosed with endometriosis and public floor dysfunction, and
Speaker 5: my body's just not the way it was and I
Speaker 5: don't think it ever will be. And it's been really
Speaker 5: hard to accept that and look at myself and love myself.
Speaker 5: And I remember in past episodes you guys were talking
Speaker 5: about that that you get maybe gone through similar things,
Speaker 5: and that like you have your styles tailored to how
Speaker 5: you are and you just don't need those toxic resolutions
Speaker 5: of being weighing less and all this kind of stuff.
Speaker 5: And I just would love some advice or tips and tricks,
Speaker 5: as you guys say, to love my body for how
Speaker 5: it is and accepting it and maybe tailoring my style
Speaker 5: towards it. So any advice would be helpful. I absolutely
Speaker 5: love you guys. Thank you so much for making this podcast,
Speaker 5: and I can't wait to hear about it.
Speaker 4: Iii Ah, She's our little bibe Joeta did the Bie
Speaker 4: Joe up. Thank you for all those nice things you said.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and also, like, as someone his body's changed a lot,
Speaker 1: I feel you, dude, It's so it's like it's so
Speaker 1: weird because you're like you're seventeen, you're like, okay, cool,
Speaker 1: this is it. And then you're seeing me too, and
Speaker 1: it's like, oh no, this is it. And then you're
Speaker 1: twenty six and you're like, oh okay, this is it.
Speaker 1: And then you're thirty and it just keeps happening. It's
Speaker 1: like it just keeps happening because your body does keep
Speaker 1: shifting and changing, and it's like it's such a mind fuck,
Speaker 1: and we're here to help you kind of like talk
Speaker 1: at least talk some stuff out, like think it out,
Speaker 1: think it out.
Speaker 4: Think it out. That's what we do here. We think
Speaker 4: things out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we talk about and we think it out.
Speaker 1: It was basically about having a body, right, Like this
Speaker 1: episode is about having a body and having a body,
Speaker 1: what that means to each of us and how we're
Speaker 1: kind of like our personal.
Speaker 3: Versions of that. What it is now might.
Speaker 1: Be different than what it is next week, what it
Speaker 1: is in a year. Melissa, talk about your experience with
Speaker 1: having a body.
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, Well what you were just what you
Speaker 4: were just saying really struck a chord with me because Yeah,
Speaker 4: like I remember, puberty was a really big, huge fast
Speaker 4: change for me. I was like a skiny, skinny, little
Speaker 4: mini thing as a kid, and I was very active
Speaker 4: and I danced, and then puberty hit and I grew
Speaker 4: like four or five inches in a year, like got
Speaker 4: I got hips and boobs and butt so fast that
Speaker 4: I got stretch marks that I still have to this day.
Speaker 4: And I was like twelve, and I was like, the
Speaker 4: fuck are these lions on my hips? Like, and I
Speaker 4: didn't know how to dress and I felt so self
Speaker 4: conscious and it was just like such a hard and
Speaker 4: fast change. And you know, and then like you said,
Speaker 4: like you go through some teen years and you're like, Okay, no, cool,
Speaker 4: the well, no, teen years were rough. Actually, I don't
Speaker 4: think I really started to like appreciate my body to
Speaker 4: like college or like twenties. And then I was like
Speaker 4: in a good stride for a while. And then I
Speaker 4: got pregnant and then that was like that kind of
Speaker 4: felt like puberty again, where it was this really fast,
Speaker 4: dramatic change. And I joke that like I think women
Speaker 4: have there's like a switch that some of us have
Speaker 4: and some don't, where like when you're pregnant, I think
Speaker 4: there's a switch that goes off for some women that
Speaker 4: is like, oh my god, I feel so beautiful and
Speaker 4: powerful and like this is amazing and like how crazy
Speaker 4: is this miracle of life? And then for the rest
Speaker 4: of us, it's like I feel like a fucking science experiment.
Speaker 4: This is such a sham. I didn't know it's going
Speaker 4: to be like this. And every time I get used
Speaker 4: to something, something else like dramatically, like you literally you'll
Speaker 4: be like, okay, cool, this is it. I feel like
Speaker 4: maybe cute, pregnant, and then the next day you wake
Speaker 4: up and like five things have changed.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like your boobs.
Speaker 4: Are like crazy bigger, or like your belly grew or
Speaker 4: you're bastard, or your ankles are swolen like whatever. It's
Speaker 4: like every time I felt like I got used to
Speaker 4: it or like okay, it would all like dramatically change, yeah,
Speaker 4: and then and then like there's postpartum body, like you know,
Speaker 4: and then it just feels like this roller coaster of
Speaker 4: like up and down. And then you're like getting older too,
Speaker 4: and things are shifting, and you know, even where you
Speaker 4: gain or lose weight is different, and like I've had
Speaker 4: giant boobs and I've had really small boobs, and like
Speaker 4: I feel like I've had giant thighs and like really small.
Speaker 4: I've had a thigh gap and I've had no thigh gap,
Speaker 4: And so it is this constant bombardment, I think, especially
Speaker 4: as a woman, where you're like trying to feel good
Speaker 4: about the body that you have and the things that
Speaker 4: it can do and the things that it has done.
Speaker 4: But it feels like every five to ten years it
Speaker 4: changes so dramatically that like just when you get to
Speaker 4: the point where you're like.
Speaker 1: I love my body, yeah, fucking perimenopause or like what
Speaker 1: you know, or you get pregnant or like.
Speaker 4: Fucking or you get sick, or you get injured, or
Speaker 4: like some fucking shit happens. Yeah, and it's exhausting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, it's exhausting. It's exhausting to sort of the
Speaker 1: the reason it's exhausting is because we're and it's not
Speaker 1: just media. Media has a big part in it, right,
Speaker 1: Like media, yea is a.
Speaker 3: Big part in it.
Speaker 1: But we are measuring like, oh no, like can I
Speaker 1: do this?
Speaker 3: Can I do that? Like is my body? You know?
Speaker 1: Like am I still young enough to fall off a
Speaker 1: ladder and not break my pelvis? Am I still you know?
Speaker 1: Can I still fall? I mean I remember doing this
Speaker 1: play in my twenties where I was playing Juliet and
Speaker 1: I had to fall on my knees on this one
Speaker 1: part in the play and they were like, oh, is
Speaker 1: do you want knee pads for under your costume? And
Speaker 1: I was like no, because I was wearing these like
Speaker 1: skinny leggings with like bell bottoms.
Speaker 3: I was like, I don't want to ruin the line
Speaker 3: of my costume. Me mom.
Speaker 1: Now, as a forty four year old, when I go
Speaker 1: up and down the stairs in my house, I can
Speaker 1: hear my knees. I can hear them go crunch, crunch, crunch,
Speaker 1: and like they didn't do that then, but they do
Speaker 1: it now, and it's they do it. It's like you
Speaker 1: just it's this like constant battle of like wait, hold on, wait, wait,
Speaker 1: oh no, wait wait. It feels very Yeah, it's exhausting.
Speaker 1: It can be exhausting, it can be exlasting.
Speaker 4: I will say that there is something about getting older
Speaker 4: and kind of giving less fucks that's been nice when
Speaker 4: it comes to my feelings around my body. And you know,
Speaker 4: I think especially I've had this in two waves where
Speaker 4: you know, you and I have talked about uh, severe
Speaker 4: body issues that we've had when we were younger. And
Speaker 4: issues with dysfunctional eating, and that certainly was the case
Speaker 4: for me in high school. And then I had a
Speaker 4: friend who landed in the hospital for anorexia, and that
Speaker 4: was like and it was and I and it was
Speaker 4: it was somebody I deeply cared about. But she was
Speaker 4: a little younger than me, so she was still in
Speaker 4: high school when I went to college. This was when
Speaker 4: I went and I was in college, and so I
Speaker 4: hadn't seen her during the thick of this. So this
Speaker 4: is somebody that we went to dance school to get
Speaker 4: We danced together, and like we were like still kind
Speaker 4: of in touch, but not as much, yeah, because of
Speaker 4: life and school. And I remember I heard that that
Speaker 4: she was very sick and that she had landed in
Speaker 4: the hospital, and then I saw a picture of her,
Speaker 4: and I that shit scared me so deep, my god,
Speaker 4: because this was someone that was so vibrant and strong
Speaker 4: in my mind, not someone I would ever guessed would
Speaker 4: have gone through this. And it just like shook me
Speaker 4: in a way that my brain just went, what are
Speaker 4: you doing? What are you doing? Why are you restricting
Speaker 4: food or trying to control or like why you're young,
Speaker 4: you're healthy, You're at the time, I was dancing like
Speaker 4: twenty hours a week, and I just had this moment
Speaker 4: of appreciation that I could do all of these things
Speaker 4: physically and that at the same time I had been
Speaker 4: making decisions that could potentially lead me down this same
Speaker 4: scary road that she went down and trying to understand
Speaker 4: like why I was doing that and being like fucking stop.
Speaker 4: Life is short, Like you got to stop, You got
Speaker 4: to turn the ship around. Yeah, and I did, but
Speaker 4: it was hard, and it's.
Speaker 1: I was going to say that I think it speaks
Speaker 1: so like how you how you specifically function as a person,
Speaker 1: which is like.
Speaker 3: You're very tough.
Speaker 1: And I don't know if that's like growing up in
Speaker 1: Jersey or if it's like your parents, or if it's
Speaker 1: your DNA or your genetics, it's just your personality, but
Speaker 1: you're very tough. And like I think it's you know,
Speaker 1: you saw something and you're like, oh, fuck no, you
Speaker 1: know mm hmm. That is a wake up call to have,
Speaker 1: like a personal friend like struggle with something like that.
Speaker 1: But there's some of us, myself included that, like I
Speaker 1: don't know that I would have had the same reaction,
Speaker 1: you know, Like I think that's very a mature place
Speaker 1: of thinking about like, oh my god, I might not
Speaker 1: be able to do the things that I love to
Speaker 1: do because I could restrict myself so much that I
Speaker 1: wouldn't have the energy or the strength or like the
Speaker 1: wherewithal yeah to do these things that I love.
Speaker 3: Right. The problem I.
Speaker 1: Think sometimes with at least with eating disorder stuff is
Speaker 1: like it becomes the sole focus, Like the everything else
Speaker 1: falls away, you know, and like it doesn't really matter
Speaker 1: if you can dance or move or lift or whatever
Speaker 1: because you look thin, you know. Right, It's like the
Speaker 1: image becomes everything and the control around the image becomes
Speaker 1: I mean, at least for me, the control was really
Speaker 1: where it was at everything in my life felt like
Speaker 1: I don't have any control. I don't have any control.
Speaker 1: But at least I can have control over this thing.
Speaker 1: You know. I don't have control in whether I'm cast.
Speaker 1: I don't have control in how people see me. I
Speaker 1: don't have control it for some people like me, but
Speaker 1: I can be thin, you know, And it was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I can control this thing, and like then it starts
Speaker 1: to I mean, at least for me. Again, there's a
Speaker 1: personal These are all personal experiences, but like for me,
Speaker 1: it was like that was the thing that was the
Speaker 1: thing I could control. I couldn't control that. The person
Speaker 1: that I was with probably didn't really love me. I
Speaker 1: couldn't control, you know, like that was was the only
Speaker 1: thing that I had like real control over and like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's actually a lie. I actually had quite a bit
Speaker 1: of control in my life. I had a lot of choices, like,
Speaker 1: but I wasn't making them. I was too afraid to
Speaker 1: make them. So instead I was like, I'll just have
Speaker 1: popcorn for lunch, you know, yeah, and yeah, and you're
Speaker 1: you're you know, this is a really interesting conversation too
Speaker 1: right now because a lot of people are using different
Speaker 1: kinds of drugs that help them lose weight, and you know,
Speaker 1: trying not to have judgment around that can be really tricky.
Speaker 1: My dad died from complications around cancer. But one of
Speaker 1: the reasons that the cancer like affected him so intensely,
Speaker 1: and one of the reasons he didn't notice that he
Speaker 1: had the cancer was because he was overweight and diabetic
Speaker 1: and wasn't He had a lot of trouble controlling the diabetes.
Speaker 1: He had a lot of like he just had a
Speaker 1: lot of roadblocks for himself, and like something like one
Speaker 1: of these medications could really helped him have a better
Speaker 1: quality of life. So like, there's that side of these medications, right,
Speaker 1: And the other side of these medications is that a
Speaker 1: lot of people are taking them to become the thinnished
Speaker 1: version of themselves. And that's tricky too. It's like, if
Speaker 1: you've never been a thin person, what is it like
Speaker 1: to live in a thin body? And how does it feel?
Speaker 1: And like can you become obsessed with that? And like
Speaker 1: when is the obsession kind of like guiding your choices
Speaker 1: in life? And like any like any obsession, I mean,
Speaker 1: if we're talking about bodies in general, it's like any obsession.
Speaker 1: Like there was for a while there was that I
Speaker 1: can't remember what it's called, but it was like people
Speaker 1: getting obsessed with like health food and like eating super helpfully.
Speaker 3: H articles are sort of saying like, oh, this is.
Speaker 1: Kind of a new eating disorder, where like oh, I
Speaker 1: don't eat gluten, and I don't eat sugar, and I
Speaker 1: don't eat this, and I don't eat that, and I
Speaker 1: don't eat but and I don't eat but and I
Speaker 1: have a friend who she's she is my health coach,
Speaker 1: and she's amazing and at the time she was. She
Speaker 1: was like in an organization that was kind of a
Speaker 1: churchy vibe but also was very culty, and one of
Speaker 1: the women there accused her of having this disorder and
Speaker 1: it was devastating to my friend because she was, like
Speaker 1: I heard her history was like her dad died of cancer,
Speaker 1: and she was like really trying to make her body
Speaker 1: the most functional and healthy version of herself. And for her,
Speaker 1: that meant avoiding things that made her feel like crap,
Speaker 1: like gluten plugged her up, and like processed sugars made
Speaker 1: her feel crazy inside, and you know, like digesting meat
Speaker 1: wasn't really good for her. And when it stopped feeling
Speaker 1: like for her, when she was like, ooh, I think
Speaker 1: I need extra energy, she added back in like eggs
Speaker 1: and fish.
Speaker 3: It was like it was it was.
Speaker 1: Her finding her way through food and trying to utilize
Speaker 1: it as like food for fun and for function, as
Speaker 1: opposed to like food to like you know, self soothe
Speaker 1: or be a bomb or have control or whatever, and
Speaker 1: so like.
Speaker 4: It's all all of it's like all of it's tricky, right,
Speaker 4: because like all of it's tricky, and like you were
Speaker 4: like like you were kind of saying, like this body
Speaker 4: mind connection, right like is so strong it's hard to navigate.
Speaker 4: It's hard to right like figure out like, yeah, we
Speaker 4: do use food for comfort and that's also okay, you know,
Speaker 4: and it's but it's like when you're doing it too
Speaker 4: much or when you're doing it too little, and like
Speaker 4: it's all about finding balance.
Speaker 3: Balance.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry I said it. Everything in moderation like you
Speaker 4: know is also but like kind of true, you know,
Speaker 4: it's true. It's like, yeah, I currently I feel like
Speaker 4: in the last few years, I have moved more towards
Speaker 4: like you were saying, really focusing on food for like
Speaker 4: functionality and like feeling good and noticing like what doesn't
Speaker 4: make me feel great My beloved red wine that I
Speaker 4: love so much, but also somebody clued me into it
Speaker 4: might be more the cabernet than the pino noir that's
Speaker 4: affecting me. It might be the type of red wines
Speaker 4: that could be. So I'm trying to figure that out
Speaker 4: because I love it so much and I don't want
Speaker 4: to give it up.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but yeah, like like more you know, food to live,
Speaker 4: food to feel good, food to have energy, but also
Speaker 4: going out and enjoying just all of it, like all
Speaker 4: the you know what I mean, and like yeah, and
Speaker 4: having that bit of balance. Ah.
Speaker 1: You know something that my health coach Jenna says a
Speaker 1: lot is like make the choices and then be okay
Speaker 1: with the choices, right, and like actually be okay with
Speaker 1: the choices. So it's not it doesn't serve me to
Speaker 1: go like I'm going to eat this fast food thing
Speaker 1: and then like beat myself up for three days about
Speaker 1: it and then like retroactively try to that I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna have juice, you know, or whatever fucking fucked up thing.
Speaker 1: It's like, oh, I have a like slow down, make
Speaker 1: the choice.
Speaker 3: Do I really want that? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I really want that. That's something that I really want.
Speaker 1: Is it gonna make me feel good?
Speaker 3: Might not?
Speaker 1: Might make me feel good in the moment, might feel
Speaker 1: a little bad later. Am I still gonna choose it?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna eat it, and yeah, I'm gonna I'm
Speaker 1: gonna deal with, you know, accept whatever that is.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 1: So, like this morning, what did I want? I wanted
Speaker 1: a biscuit. And when I'm on the fucking biscuit.
Speaker 4: Fucking love biscuits, man.
Speaker 1: Butter and Jammed really wanted and so I got it.
Speaker 1: And I also knew, like how am I going to
Speaker 1: feel after that biscuit, that big, old, greasy ass biscuit,
Speaker 1: Probably a little slow and like, but I you know,
Speaker 1: I just wanted it. I was just like I really
Speaker 1: want this biscuit right now.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you're so right.
Speaker 4: There's like more conscious decision making around food choices.
Speaker 1: Or do I want to eat this biscuit that is
Speaker 1: as big as my face?
Speaker 3: Yes? I do.
Speaker 1: How am I going to be conscious about this?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: And that's time too. And it's also like accepting this.
Speaker 1: This is the thing that I think nobody at least
Speaker 1: not in my family. It was in my family it
Speaker 1: was like, you better finish the food on your plate.
Speaker 1: You cannot leave this table until you finish that food
Speaker 1: on your plate. You cannot waste. You cannot waste. And
Speaker 1: that was partially because we were we didn't have a
Speaker 1: lot of money, and so like, yeah, it was not
Speaker 1: there wasn't any There's so many fucked up things that
Speaker 1: like they didn't know, like my mom and dad didn't
Speaker 1: know that by making me finish my plate that like
Speaker 1: I was gonna have years and years of feeling like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I feel crazy by throwing this food away,
Speaker 1: I have to yeah on my plate, right yeah, but
Speaker 1: ultimately that's what I still hate throwing food out. I
Speaker 1: get a little I feel, I feel my stress level
Speaker 1: rise a little bit when I'm like throwing food away
Speaker 1: that's left over. How's your relationship with or how have
Speaker 1: you processed just your body being different, because like our
Speaker 1: bodies just like like you and me, like our bodies
Speaker 1: right now are different than when we first met. It's
Speaker 1: boo boo bits. So I'll tell you that much. I don't.
Speaker 1: There's some things and I'm like, absolutely not. This fucking sucks.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like same yeah.
Speaker 1: Let me give you two examples after I had ros.
Speaker 1: The short story is, the short version of the story
Speaker 1: is there's a there's a chemical that gets released in
Speaker 1: your body when you're pregnant called relaxing that helps your
Speaker 1: bones kind of jelly up a little bit so that
Speaker 1: the kids fit inside your body and so they come out,
Speaker 1: squeeze that baby out. And what it also can do
Speaker 1: is it can make things kind of move around, bones
Speaker 1: kind of stretch.
Speaker 4: Like yeah, bone like yeah, like and shit widends literally you.
Speaker 3: Can google this.
Speaker 1: I'm not a scientist, as we've already talked about on
Speaker 1: this podcast. But my feet changed from a size a
Speaker 1: solid size eight and a half to a real size
Speaker 1: nine nine and a half sometimes.
Speaker 3: And that was I cried.
Speaker 1: I had this pair of vintage of velvet Todd Oldham slippers.
Speaker 1: They were so beautiful. I only wore them for special
Speaker 1: occasions because they hurt.
Speaker 3: And they didn't fit anymore.
Speaker 1: I mean, I I don't have any shoes from before
Speaker 1: raz yeah, or two pairs my wedding shoes because I
Speaker 1: bought them up size half sized bigger because I was like,
Speaker 1: my feet are probably gonna swell that day. That was
Speaker 1: hard because I love clothes. The other thing that was
Speaker 1: hard was a lot of my dresses in the rib
Speaker 1: cage don't didn't fit in the same way. And still
Speaker 1: things don't fit me in the rib cage the same
Speaker 1: way because my rib cage expanded about an inch and
Speaker 1: that really it's a lot when you're a clothes.
Speaker 3: Horse like I am. I say, in a sweatshirt yeah.
Speaker 4: But like no, no, but that's so real. Yeah, my feet.
Speaker 4: My feet grew also, not weirdly. They grew when I
Speaker 4: was pregnant with Endzo, but they went back like they
Speaker 4: grew to eight and a half and they went back
Speaker 4: to eight about eight or nine months after I had him,
Speaker 4: Like they went back, I know, they went back, but
Speaker 4: then I know, and then they didn't grow while I
Speaker 4: was pregnant with Axel. But then it was the pandemic
Speaker 4: and my ask wasn't wearing shoes. I was barefoot every
Speaker 4: day and I still had all that relaxed and in
Speaker 4: my body after I had him, and my feet grew
Speaker 4: to eight and a half and they have stayed at
Speaker 4: eight and a half.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: The pandemic did that to a lot of people. Actually,
Speaker 1: a lot of people were sneezing their feet into little
Speaker 1: shoes and.
Speaker 4: Well, just like walking barefoot all day every day will
Speaker 4: make your foot spread out a little bit.
Speaker 3: It will in a good way, in a good way,
Speaker 3: in a good way.
Speaker 4: But I did have to get rid of so many shoes.
Speaker 3: It's brutal. My mom, I don't know about my mom. I
Speaker 3: hope my mom doesn't listen to this.
Speaker 1: My mom has these little she has feet like me.
Speaker 1: They're like little like they look like little like a
Speaker 1: toddler's foot, like very wide, right, uh huh, a wide
Speaker 1: foot like I can spread my foot pretty wide, which
Speaker 1: I guess is pretty healthy. But my mom will squeeze
Speaker 1: her foot and has been squeezing her foot. She's like
Speaker 1: in her seventies, has been squeezing her feet into shoes
Speaker 1: that are half size a full size too small for
Speaker 1: as long as I can remember. And this bitch's big
Speaker 1: toenail is like non nonexistent now, Like.
Speaker 4: The other day else was she supposed to squeeze her
Speaker 4: foot into those heels.
Speaker 1: Stephanie the the.
Speaker 4: Big dynail got out of the way on the way
Speaker 4: we were at the pool.
Speaker 3: I was like, Mom, what's going on with your toenail?
Speaker 3: She was like, oh, it's fake.
Speaker 1: I was like, what, this woman has put an acrylic
Speaker 1: She's had them put in a like a big acrylic
Speaker 1: thumbnail on her toe. I'm like mom, no, Mom no,
Speaker 1: And like listen, my mom's always trying to get keta deal.
Speaker 1: She's like shopping, you know, like in the sale department,
Speaker 1: shopping for things that like she you know, she loves
Speaker 1: these shoes, so she's gonna just jam her a little
Speaker 1: her little titsieson there. But like, wow, don't What I'm
Speaker 1: saying to you, dear listeners is don't fucking do this
Speaker 1: shit to yourselves, buy your shoes the right size, babe.
Speaker 3: It's not worth it.
Speaker 1: Maybe seventy asking your asking your fuck and pediatrist to
Speaker 1: glue a fake toenail on your toe.
Speaker 3: It's Melissa, Oh my god, I will.
Speaker 1: I refuse to take a picture of it, but I
Speaker 1: kind of almost want to.
Speaker 3: You because it is wild. I was like, mom, what's
Speaker 3: going on with your big toe? Wow?
Speaker 4: I mean listen, part of me respects the hustle, like
Speaker 4: part know the dedication. These are these are your feet.
Speaker 3: You have to you have to. These are your feet.
Speaker 4: This is your only this is your foot. You're right,
Speaker 4: you only get you only get two feet, girl.
Speaker 3: You know you can't buy another pair.
Speaker 4: Like, yeah, no, you can't put another pair of feet on.
Speaker 1: I have her in Brad is the one. He's like,
Speaker 1: we gotta get your mom's hookahs. Like she's like, she's
Speaker 1: in hopahs now she's like it.
Speaker 3: I mean, here's the thing.
Speaker 1: Is like, when you're thinking about your body, it's also
Speaker 1: about like long term right, Like so okay, so this.
Speaker 3: Is the other thing that me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got cellulate in places that I'd never had
Speaker 1: it before. And I have cellu light on my abs
Speaker 1: and it fucking sucks because it's.
Speaker 3: Really annoying and.
Speaker 1: It just doesn't look like it used to look. It
Speaker 1: doesn't look like it used to look. And then I
Speaker 1: took a workout class ri recently and the instructor so ripped,
Speaker 1: so strong and like she also had had a baby,
Speaker 1: and I was looking at her sitting on the bike,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god, that's how my
Speaker 1: I mean like not all the muscle, but like that's
Speaker 1: how my skin looks.
Speaker 3: That's how my skin looks, and it's like her.
Speaker 1: And it gave me this feeling of like, oh my god, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's that woman is a fucking badass. Like she's super strong,
Speaker 1: she's ripped. I would love to be as ripped as
Speaker 1: she is, but i'd have to teach like five class
Speaker 1: a day or whatever the hell else she's doing. Write
Speaker 1: that part right, But it did make me feel much
Speaker 1: more like, Okay, I'm doing all right, Like I don't
Speaker 1: need to be so like when is this gonna go away?
Speaker 1: It might never go away, like I don't know, like
Speaker 1: it might stick around forever. Maybe there's a treatment I
Speaker 1: could get. I'm not sure, you know what I do,
Speaker 1: Like the gun, the massage gun, for my body.
Speaker 4: Can love love the massage gun Love a massage gun.
Speaker 1: Guys, if you if you haven't ever tried one, please
Speaker 1: do because get is really one of the best things
Speaker 1: you could spend money on. A great Christmas present honestly,
Speaker 1: like a great Christmas present for like, if you have
Speaker 1: a partner that like works out a lot, you could
Speaker 1: buy them matt Christmas present and just use it yourself.
Speaker 4: Or I'm now like thinking, I'm like, did we send
Speaker 4: my parents one? Because we meant to send my parents
Speaker 4: one because my mom just got knee surgery a few
Speaker 4: months ago and she's doing great, but she's got these
Speaker 4: spots that are just like tight with like bar tissue
Speaker 4: or whatever. Just it's surgery, you know, and you touched
Speaker 4: on something I think, uh that I wanted to add.
Speaker 4: I think is the phase I'm sort of have moved
Speaker 4: into or am moving into when it comes to like
Speaker 4: how I feel about my body is longevity. Ugh, totally yes,
Speaker 4: Like i feel like I've reframed it where I'm like,
Speaker 4: I want to be agile, like in my fucking eighties,
Speaker 4: Like I want to be.
Speaker 3: I want to live forever. I'm want to learn how
Speaker 3: to fly.
Speaker 4: I want to live forever. I don't want to like
Speaker 4: live with you know, pain every day. Of course, like
Speaker 4: anything could happen, chronic things have I have old injuries
Speaker 4: that I do like if it's humid enough, my knee
Speaker 4: will fucking ache, if it's whatever, you know, And that's
Speaker 4: just like I've just had to like get to a
Speaker 4: place where like I accept that and like, you know,
Speaker 4: also like whatever, I broke my knee skiing, like I
Speaker 4: was doing something kind of badass and like it probably
Speaker 4: broke from like years of dance and that was also badass,
Speaker 4: So like go me. It's like that's a little pep talk.
Speaker 4: I give myself what I'm feeling frustrated about the like
Speaker 4: a dull ache in my knee because I like tore
Speaker 4: all these ligments once. But yeah, it's more like centered
Speaker 4: now on I work out because I have learned that
Speaker 4: I do feel the best and most confident if I
Speaker 4: feel strong regardless of my body size and what my
Speaker 4: body actually looks like. And also I remember, like when
Speaker 4: I oh, I remember when I was pregnant with Enzo,
Speaker 4: being so grateful for having so many years of dance
Speaker 4: build up so much muscle and like muscle memory in
Speaker 4: my body that I really think it was, like why
Speaker 4: my labor was, like there's certain things that I because
Speaker 4: I also had a lot of pain during my pregnancy,
Speaker 4: back pain and like whatever, yeah I remember, but I
Speaker 4: remember thinking like oh my God, like thank God, like
Speaker 4: my legs are so strong, or like my this is
Speaker 4: so strong because I did this for so many years
Speaker 4: and I'm like, kind of it's helping me so much,
Speaker 4: like yeah, through this, you know. I kind of hate
Speaker 4: when people are like hot take coming in incoming, hot takee.
Speaker 3: I love a hot take.
Speaker 4: I hate when people are like, I'm just like so
Speaker 4: grateful for my post birden body because it grew my
Speaker 4: child and like yes, yes, of course, no, no, I know.
Speaker 6: Can we just be fucking annoyed at how much what
Speaker 6: it did I know, and all the fucking damage it
Speaker 6: did and just be like this a lot, This a lot,
Speaker 6: It's a lot.
Speaker 4: Okay. Everything is different. Our ribs are wider, our vaginas
Speaker 4: look different, our everything looks different. Okay, it's all me
Speaker 4: Like it's a lot, and it's okay, and I'm gonna
Speaker 4: accept it. But I don't need to like sit and
Speaker 4: seep in gratitude. I love my children. I'm so grateful
Speaker 4: that I could grow them, and yes, all that is true,
Speaker 4: and also fuck yeah, the buck just happened.
Speaker 3: The buck.
Speaker 1: That's the real fuckery. For those of you that are
Speaker 1: listening to this of having had kids or like can't,
Speaker 1: don't want to whatever, you still were a kid and
Speaker 1: somebody made you and it was hard motherfucking work, and
Speaker 1: a nobody nobody's supporting that shit. Not in the United States.
Speaker 1: There's no healthcare, there's no maternity leave, there's no help
Speaker 1: when your kids are little, Like you have to fucking
Speaker 1: do all that shit on your own, and like.
Speaker 4: It sucks, and like I love my children so much
Speaker 4: and I and I look at them and I stare
Speaker 4: at them in like total wonderment and I'm like, oh
Speaker 4: my god. But at the same time, I can't stare
Speaker 4: at my child, and that's a given. That's a given.
Speaker 4: I also at the same time can't stare at my
Speaker 4: child and be like, yes, I feel okay about everything
Speaker 4: that growing you did to my body, Like I gotta
Speaker 4: find that shit somewhere else. That's that ship I have
Speaker 4: to like make I've had to make peace with in
Speaker 4: like a different part of my brain. Like for me personally, individuals,
Speaker 4: you know individually. I have, yes, like I have had
Speaker 4: to come at that from a different angle.
Speaker 1: It's not a it's it's not a one all, one
Speaker 1: size fits all thing to be like, uh you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm just so grateful that my body could do it.
Speaker 1: It's not it's not some So for some people that
Speaker 1: is exactly right and it fits them and great.
Speaker 3: Well for some people it's like uh no, no, me,
Speaker 3: no mea memium.
Speaker 4: I had to go on a journey with this new body,
Speaker 4: like I said, and then that, yeah, brings you back
Speaker 4: to like I think the shift for me was just
Speaker 4: like looking towards the future, like accepting, learning how to
Speaker 4: dress differently, learning how to eat differently, like for this
Speaker 4: new body.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: More actually to get into like some nerd time. Oh yeah,
Speaker 4: she's done this great article that was about body neutrality,
Speaker 4: and it kind of hit for me. I just want
Speaker 4: to read a little bit her opening line on what
Speaker 4: she's describing what body neutrality is. She talks about like
Speaker 4: how we had this big shift towards body positivity and
Speaker 4: like accepting all bodies and like how great that was
Speaker 4: culturally and like as a society, and maybe it went
Speaker 4: like a little bit like, you know, into like toxic
Speaker 4: positivity land like.
Speaker 1: A little bit maybe I don't know, I mean it all,
Speaker 1: it all, it all swings, you know, it all swings.
Speaker 4: So body neutrality, on the other hand, takes the pressure
Speaker 4: way off and tends to feel like a much more
Speaker 4: approachable and achievable goal. It offers a safe place to
Speaker 4: rest as you exit body hatred without putting pressure on
Speaker 4: you to somehow magically love every iota of your body
Speaker 4: and self. Body neutrality invites us to understand ourselves and
Speaker 4: others as whole human beings first, and to form our
Speaker 4: concept of worth, value, and identity around a person's internal
Speaker 4: self instead of their external self.
Speaker 3: Beautiful, beautiful, And.
Speaker 4: For example, I wish I was smaller and that's not
Speaker 4: a problem. I hate the way my blank looks and
Speaker 4: that makes sense and is okay. I desperately want to
Speaker 4: lose weight and that doesn't mean anything bad about me.
Speaker 4: Like having these two things coexists, and I feel like
Speaker 4: that's where I am in my life too, thankfully, where
Speaker 4: I've gotten to like accept this like post two children, older,
Speaker 4: post injuries, whatever, whole life right, It's also like the
Speaker 4: journey of my whole life. I don't have to like
Speaker 4: love every little bit, but I can still accept it
Speaker 4: at the same time, and I can still have goals
Speaker 4: and I can still strive for things I can strive to.
Speaker 4: You know, I want to have a strong body when
Speaker 4: I'm in my old, old old years. You know, I
Speaker 4: want to still be able to like walk through Europe
Speaker 4: or New York and not like and be okay like
Speaker 4: and pick up my grandkids and like, you know, it's
Speaker 4: it's becoming about and even now, like I have two
Speaker 4: very active little boys, I just don't want to get
Speaker 4: winded when I'm playing with them or running with them,
Speaker 4: like that simple little thing that shift for me when
Speaker 4: I'm playing with them and I feel strong and I'm
Speaker 4: not like a few years ago, I would get winded,
Speaker 4: like severely winded after a few seconds of like kicking
Speaker 4: a soccer ball or something.
Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, I don't, I am winded and I
Speaker 3: don't now and thank you.
Speaker 4: It was like a lot of hard work to not
Speaker 4: to get to this place, so like I can less
Speaker 4: like maybe two minutes of kidscraper ball.
Speaker 3: No, that's great.
Speaker 4: I think that's a big, big thing. It's reframing it.
Speaker 4: And yeah, and I think it's you know, again getting
Speaker 4: older and getting better, like giving less bucks and accepting
Speaker 4: things and accepting that like I don't know, Yeah, there
Speaker 4: can be parts of my body that I want to
Speaker 4: change or improve or that I wish were different, But
Speaker 4: I can be like okay and feel really good about
Speaker 4: myself at the same time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think those two things can and should exist together.
Speaker 1: It's the obsession with yes, the obsession when you cross
Speaker 1: into obsessive territory when you're like I'm constantly thinking about
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna eat, yeah I did eat, or when
Speaker 1: I'm going to work out, or how much calories is
Speaker 1: in this and that. Like remember, for a long time
Speaker 1: everyone was like, oh, just track your macros or whatever,
Speaker 1: and I was like, no, some people can do that shit,
Speaker 1: and it's cool for them, not for me. The minute
Speaker 1: I start writing down, like what I ate.
Speaker 4: C cock cuckoo, Like, yeah.
Speaker 1: It gets crazy. I get crazy about it. It doesn't,
Speaker 1: you know. It's like and then that's the thing is
Speaker 1: like experimenting to try to find Yeah.
Speaker 4: I've gone through phases where I can track, and I've
Speaker 4: gone through phases where I track, and the same I
Speaker 4: have the same reaction. I go Nope, We're going to
Speaker 4: abandon this immediately. This is not good for us, and
Speaker 4: we're going to find a different way.
Speaker 3: We're going to find a different way. It's going to
Speaker 3: be a different way.
Speaker 1: I like the the other thing that was in the
Speaker 1: Nerd Time this week is it was like slightly touched on,
Speaker 1: which is functionality based body image, which is like what
Speaker 1: you're talking about function how your body can function for you, right,
Speaker 1: Like that longevity thing is something I think not everybody
Speaker 1: is thinking about necessarily in their twenties or thirties, but
Speaker 1: as you start to hit your forties, you start going like, right,
Speaker 1: like I can make this.
Speaker 3: I have some power here.
Speaker 1: And one of the things I'm doing lately on this
Speaker 1: on the peloton bike is like I'm trying to do
Speaker 1: longer rides for lone there extent of time, which is
Speaker 1: like endured. Yeah, it's like endurance and VO two.
Speaker 3: Max and all this stuff that I don't really understand.
Speaker 1: But the trainer, Matt Whipper's my peloton boyfriend, Oh, he
Speaker 1: talks about all the time. He's like, this is how
Speaker 1: you get like stronger over time. This is how like
Speaker 1: you increase longevity VO two max like dips as you
Speaker 1: get older, you're helping to increase it. I'm like, part
Speaker 1: of doing the workouts is me trying to train my
Speaker 1: heart and lungs and body to be like, you can
Speaker 1: do this, you can go up a hill, you can
Speaker 1: like you know, I mean, yes, there might be a
Speaker 1: time in the future where I do have to have
Speaker 1: help walking and stuff like that, but as long as
Speaker 1: I can, I want to stay in a body that
Speaker 1: lets me like squat down and talk to ras, tie shoes,
Speaker 1: bend over and pick things up without having to lean
Speaker 1: on stuff. You know, yeah, get up from the floor
Speaker 1: and get back down. It's like stuff that's like super
Speaker 1: simple when you're in your twenties and can get harder
Speaker 1: and harder if you're not taking care of the vessel
Speaker 1: that you're in. And it's like when I think about
Speaker 1: my body and like think about, Okay, I can do that,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 3: Do I still have a.
Speaker 1: Freak out sometimes where I'm like in a picture where
Speaker 1: I don't look like I think I do in my head, yes, oh,
Speaker 1: perc where I'm.
Speaker 4: Like oh oh no, oh oh no no a brain
Speaker 4: picture doesn't doesn't make picture.
Speaker 1: But functionality based body image is it can be really yeah,
Speaker 1: healthy because then you're thinking about like what can my
Speaker 1: body do as opposed to just how does my body look?
Speaker 1: And that can be hard to especially like if you're
Speaker 1: coming up against maybe like an illness or chronic pain,
Speaker 1: or something new that you're struggling with, like something like endometriosis,
Speaker 1: which is like, oh shit, my body doesn't do what
Speaker 1: I doesn't function the way that I wanted to function.
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, oh my god, why am I choking? My
Speaker 3: body is not functioning? Guys.
Speaker 1: Ah, that's my body telling me I need to drink
Speaker 1: some fun and water.
Speaker 4: Drink some water. But yeah, it's it's also like I
Speaker 4: definitely I mean this not to minimize anything, because yeah,
Speaker 4: as you were just mentioning, like, there are things that
Speaker 4: are out of your control that make your body like
Speaker 4: really feel out of your control and away from you.
Speaker 4: But in some of my low moments, I've definitely just
Speaker 4: had that feeling of just throwing my hands up and
Speaker 4: going like this is the body I got?
Speaker 3: Is it? I know this one? This is the one, babe.
Speaker 4: So we're just gonna ride this wave. We're gonna ride
Speaker 4: this bad day, and then when we feel a little better,
Speaker 4: we're just gonna get back to like, Okay, well, how
Speaker 4: do I just keep this body and it's or close
Speaker 4: to its best potential, right yeah? Or like yeah, take
Speaker 4: care of it or you know, embrace it, embrace it
Speaker 4: and I at least just try. Like yes, it's so
Speaker 4: much about just like getting back up and just trying.
Speaker 1: I will say, she did mention something about fashion, and
Speaker 1: I want to touch on that really quickly. I do
Speaker 1: think fashion clothes are a way too, really can be
Speaker 1: a way if you enjoy fashion, to be a way
Speaker 1: to like accept where you're at in your body at any.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 1: It can be really tricky too, because, like I was saying,
Speaker 1: if you don't fit in stuff that you used to
Speaker 1: love or whatever, that can be jarring. But the quick
Speaker 1: advice that I would say about accepting a new body,
Speaker 1: whatever size it is, is like, try to get yourself
Speaker 1: a couple of pieces, but like, and they don't have
Speaker 1: to be expensive, but like, try to get yourself a
Speaker 1: couple pieces that you feel good and then fit. You know,
Speaker 1: because wasting your time wanting to fit into a size
Speaker 1: that you used to be it's such a fucking waste
Speaker 1: of time. It's such a waste time. You can save
Speaker 1: a couple of pairs of jeans, like maybe if you
Speaker 1: want to, like, maybe you'll get in there again. Maybe
Speaker 1: you won't, but like having them be like I'm gonna
Speaker 1: fit in this again someday. It's just like a to me,
Speaker 1: it's a waste of time.
Speaker 3: It's a waste of time.
Speaker 1: I'd rather go, you know, And again I'm not saying
Speaker 1: it has to be expensive. I'd rather go like thrifting
Speaker 1: and find a couple of like pairs of jeans that
Speaker 1: I think are interesting and cool. Like usually I go
Speaker 1: in the men's section. I have a ton of old Levi's,
Speaker 1: tons of Oh Hot Tip love an old LEVI love
Speaker 1: a men's baggy jean. It's like cinch the waist. I
Speaker 1: love a you know, like a love a men's blazer.
Speaker 1: I don't know what Joetta's fashion is, but like even like,
Speaker 1: I mean, I have a couple of friends whose bodies
Speaker 1: have changed sizes in the last couple of years too,
Speaker 1: and I remember shopping with one of them and being like,
Speaker 1: just get yourself like two pairs of jeans and a
Speaker 1: couple of new shirts to mix in with, like some
Speaker 1: sweaters that you know still fit you. And it changed
Speaker 1: the game for her because she was like, oh, I
Speaker 1: feel cute. I don't feel like I'm looking at a
Speaker 1: closet full of clothes where I'm like I don't fit
Speaker 1: in anything. I feel like I have a capsule wardrobe,
Speaker 1: you know, like I have like seven things that I'm
Speaker 1: mixing and matching and that all look really cute on me,
Speaker 1: and I feel good about myself, and like that feeling
Speaker 1: good about yourself when you walk out the door.
Speaker 3: It's a big thing. It's a big, big, big thing.
Speaker 1: Like yeah, and that can be it, doesn't you know,
Speaker 1: you don't have to like fit in somebody else's idea
Speaker 1: of a capsule wardrobe. I mean thinking about what I
Speaker 1: took to New York and I was like, a plaid shirt,
Speaker 1: this blue jacket that I bought, that's like it's in tatters.
Speaker 1: I mean, this thing is just like tattered, vintage like
Speaker 1: patches on both elbows.
Speaker 3: It is dastardly.
Speaker 1: A pair of brown khaki shorts, one pair of loafers
Speaker 1: that I loafed all around New York in, and a
Speaker 1: pair of petal pushers, a little little cropped pant and
Speaker 1: three white tank tops that I just like rotated in
Speaker 1: and out.
Speaker 4: I feel like we should do an episode unpacking because
Speaker 4: you're really good at it.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I love I love distilling down a wardrobe.
Speaker 3: I love it. It's so fun.
Speaker 1: And yet my closet is so stuffed that I have
Speaker 1: to like get in there and get rid of stuff.
Speaker 1: I'm not allowed to buy any more hangers.
Speaker 4: That's where we're at.
Speaker 1: Well, that's where that's where we've come to.
Speaker 3: That's where we've come to.
Speaker 1: Also, we've said this in other episodes, but like Find
Speaker 1: the Styling episode, I can't remember what number that one is,
Speaker 1: but like, size doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, matters, it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter.
Speaker 3: Oh booboo bits.
Speaker 4: I literally have felt so liberated since that episode and
Speaker 4: like just buying bigger, buying smaller, it.
Speaker 3: Just doesn't matter. Just whatever fits bro.
Speaker 4: Just being like, ooh, this this shirt would be like
Speaker 4: really cute over size, I'm gonna buy it in two
Speaker 4: sizes over or.
Speaker 3: It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: Like it doesn't matter. We were I was shopping in
Speaker 1: New York. I was shopping and uh, they didn't have
Speaker 1: like a size whatever. I'm not gonna say the size
Speaker 1: so I don't trigger anybody, but they didn't have a
Speaker 1: size whatever in these shorts and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'll just take the next size up, and the sales
Speaker 1: girl looked at me like I had grown another head,
Speaker 1: and she was like, I think those are going to
Speaker 1: be too big, and I was like, I'll be the judge.
Speaker 3: You know, like I got for you.
Speaker 4: Yeah judge, like yeah, yeah, I saw it.
Speaker 1: And like, maybe I want the shorts to fit kind
Speaker 1: of baggy, And personally I do like my shorts to
Speaker 1: fit kind of baggy, Like.
Speaker 4: I like a short short, but I don't like a
Speaker 4: tight waist.
Speaker 1: I've gotten so many pairs of pants in the last
Speaker 1: two years I've taken to the tailor it's like thirty
Speaker 1: bucks to get the elastic.
Speaker 3: On the waist changed so they're not tight. Fucking hate it.
Speaker 3: When pants were tight around the waist, I hate it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, unless it's a structured gene. I don't want a
Speaker 1: waistline that is. I mean, I've gone so like I
Speaker 1: have tons same pairs of pants that I've changed the
Speaker 1: elastic on the waist because I'm like.
Speaker 3: This is too tight. I don't want. I want like,
Speaker 3: I want us to feel like scrubs, you know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, hot tips more better.
Speaker 1: I mean, my takeaway is that I still is an
Speaker 1: evolving relationship with my body.
Speaker 3: Some days I'm.
Speaker 1: Really best friends with her, and other days like I
Speaker 1: just can't even And that's okay, I don't I mean
Speaker 1: at that, Well, that's what.
Speaker 4: I say, same, And I think my takeaway is that that's
Speaker 4: okay and that's normal, and that's probably true for like
Speaker 4: every living person.
Speaker 3: Mm hmmm hm. We hope.
Speaker 1: What we hope is that we all get to the
Speaker 1: place of, like, it's more better days than bad days.
Speaker 4: Yes, And I think if you're having if you're having
Speaker 4: more bad.
Speaker 1: Days, is then better days about your relationship with your
Speaker 1: body than like I encourage you to start talking to
Speaker 1: somebody about it, whether that's a therapist, whether that's a
Speaker 1: trusted friend, whether that's yeah, you.
Speaker 3: Know, like somebody not AI.
Speaker 1: No, But like, if you're having work more bad days
Speaker 1: than good days about your relationship with your body, then
Speaker 1: that's probably a signal to you to like make some
Speaker 1: kind of changes. But with that, certainly the signal to me,
Speaker 1: I was like this is this isn't sustainable.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna you know, I hate.
Speaker 1: Living this way where like I'm just thinking about food.
Speaker 3: My world was so small, it.
Speaker 1: Was such a small world when you're just thinking about
Speaker 1: your body and food and like a big world out there. Man,
Speaker 1: there's so much to do and see and like experience.
Speaker 1: Like yeah, life is a banquet. Most porcels are starving
Speaker 1: to death.
Speaker 3: That's from Anti Mary. And with that and with that.
Speaker 4: See you next time.
Speaker 3: We'll see you guys next week.
Speaker 6: Bye bye, More more Better.
Speaker 1: Do you have something you'd like to be more better
Speaker 1: at that you want us to talk about in a
Speaker 1: future episode?
Speaker 4: Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried
Speaker 4: one of our tips and tricks?
Speaker 1: Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at Morebetter pod at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com and conclude a voice note if you
Speaker 1: want to be featured on the pod. Ooh More Better
Speaker 1: with Stephanie Melissa is a production from Wvsound and iHeartMedia's
Speaker 1: Mikudura podcast network, hosted by me, Stephanie Beatriz, and Melissa Umiro.
Speaker 1: More Better is produced by Isis Madrid and Sophie Spencer Zagos.
Speaker 4: Our executive producers are Stephanie Beatrice, myself, Melissa Flumero, along
Speaker 4: with Wilmore Valderrama and Leo Klem at WV Sound and
Speaker 4: ISIS Madrid. This episode was edited by Isis Madrid and
Speaker 4: engineered by Sean Tracy, and features original music by Madison
Speaker 4: Davenport and Heylo boy Our. Cover art is by Vincent
Speaker 4: Remy's and photography by David Avalos. For more podcast us
Speaker 4: from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
Speaker 4: you listen to your favorite shows. See you next week,
Speaker 4: Buggers Bye,