WEBVTT - 062423 Shopping While Black (Part 1) 0:00:00.520 --> 0:00:03.360 Broadcasting from the Hip Hop Weekly Studios. I'd like to 0:00:03.360 --> 0:00:06.560 welcome you to another episode of Civic Cipher. I am 0:00:06.600 --> 0:00:08.080 your host, Ramses job. 0:00:08.320 --> 0:00:12.080 Is Ramsey's Jah. I am q Ward. You are listening 0:00:12.080 --> 0:00:13.640 to Civic Cipher. 0:00:13.760 --> 0:00:15.600 You know what's crazy? 0:00:16.800 --> 0:00:18.520 No, I don't know what's crazy. 0:00:18.760 --> 0:00:24.560 Allow me to tell you stereotypes. Stereotypes are kind of wild, yeah, 0:00:24.640 --> 0:00:28.240 and that's what we're going to talk about today. One 0:00:28.280 --> 0:00:29.960 of the things that comes up quite a bit in 0:00:29.960 --> 0:00:38.040 our conversations with people has to do with their upbringing 0:00:39.080 --> 0:00:41.760 being surrounded by stereotypes with respect to black people. So 0:00:41.800 --> 0:00:43.800 today's show, we're going to be dealing with a lot 0:00:43.840 --> 0:00:47.960 of stereotypes. We're going to talk about an incident in 0:00:48.400 --> 0:00:53.479 Ohio of a couple that was shopping while black man 0:00:53.520 --> 0:00:56.640 had the police called on them. And that's a very 0:00:56.680 --> 0:00:59.200 traumatic experience for a lot of black people at different 0:00:59.200 --> 0:01:02.440 points in our lives, and but it's it's kind of 0:01:02.440 --> 0:01:05.080 a shared trauma and and for folks that may not 0:01:05.240 --> 0:01:07.440 have access to it. We're gonna give you some insight. 0:01:07.959 --> 0:01:10.880 Wild black as a suffix is really yeah. 0:01:10.959 --> 0:01:15.480 Sure. We're also gonna spend some time talking about protesting 0:01:16.560 --> 0:01:22.920 wild black, that that wild black suffix often enough, Uh 0:01:24.360 --> 0:01:27.800 kind of makes it feel, you know, as reported by 0:01:27.800 --> 0:01:30.399 the news or just kind of in conversation, it makes 0:01:30.440 --> 0:01:31.960 it feel a little bit more sinister, a little bit 0:01:31.959 --> 0:01:37.160 more criminal, feel sinister, right, because it's been designed to 0:01:37.959 --> 0:01:41.440 and that's in that way, sure, sure so, uh. And 0:01:41.480 --> 0:01:43.600 we're also gonna use our way black history fact to 0:01:43.600 --> 0:01:46.160 talk about some the basis of a lot of these 0:01:46.160 --> 0:01:48.720 stereotypes as well. So a lot in store for you today, 0:01:49.640 --> 0:01:52.520 and hopefully this will be an educational episode for a 0:01:52.560 --> 0:01:55.880 lot of folks who've been wondering where the basis of 0:01:55.920 --> 0:01:58.760 all this stuff comes from. So we're definitely gonna get 0:01:58.760 --> 0:02:01.280 into that. But first and foremost, we are going to 0:02:01.320 --> 0:02:05.800 be celebrating a tad bit of EBNY excellence. Today's Abny 0:02:05.840 --> 0:02:09.400 Excellence is brought to you by Major Threads for the 0:02:09.440 --> 0:02:15.120 finest in men'swear. Checkmajor Threads dot com. And we have 0:02:15.160 --> 0:02:19.959 a video that we're going to play. 0:02:20.639 --> 0:02:20.760 Hi. 0:02:20.840 --> 0:02:28.919 I'm Dane Benton actor, Thank you and proud CMU alum. 0:02:28.960 --> 0:02:33.880 Earlier tonight, CMU and the Tony Awards presented the twenty 0:02:33.960 --> 0:02:37.560 twenty three Excellence and Theater Education Award. And while I 0:02:37.600 --> 0:02:41.120 am certain that the current Grand Wizard. I'm sorry, excuse me, 0:02:41.560 --> 0:02:44.560 governor of my home state of Florida, will. 0:02:44.480 --> 0:03:00.840 Be exchanging sure, Betty will be changing the name of 0:03:00.880 --> 0:03:03.280 this following town immediately. 0:03:04.560 --> 0:03:07.960 We were honored to present this award to the truly 0:03:08.200 --> 0:03:12.200 incredible and life changing Jason zembic Young and. 0:03:13.000 --> 0:03:19.560 Okay, So, in short, that wonderful display of courage or 0:03:19.639 --> 0:03:24.520 calling out what we believe to be racist behavior and 0:03:26.639 --> 0:03:31.680 divisive leadership on the part of Ron DeSantis. Calling that 0:03:31.800 --> 0:03:35.760 out was Broadway star Denay Benton, who's known for her 0:03:35.840 --> 0:03:38.840 roles in Hamilton and Into the Woods. Of course, she 0:03:38.880 --> 0:03:42.560 compared DeSantis to Ku Klux Klan leader as she acknowledged 0:03:42.920 --> 0:03:46.680 Florida teacher Jason's Zimbac Young as the winner of this 0:03:46.800 --> 0:03:51.720 year's Excellence and Theater Education Award. And that amount of 0:03:51.760 --> 0:03:56.040 courage and of course on that type of stage is 0:03:56.200 --> 0:03:59.520 a beaming example of ebony excellence if I've ever seen it, 0:04:00.080 --> 0:04:14.480 So I salute you. So now let's talk about shopping. So, 0:04:15.600 --> 0:04:17.080 you know, off the top of your head, can you 0:04:17.120 --> 0:04:24.360 think of any stories from your life where shopping was 0:04:24.400 --> 0:04:29.120 a particularly traumatic experience that you believe the trauma was 0:04:29.160 --> 0:04:32.320 based solely on your or the additional trauma was based 0:04:32.320 --> 0:04:33.359 on you being black. 0:04:34.240 --> 0:04:36.520 For some of our listeners, I don't want to insult 0:04:36.600 --> 0:04:42.240 them by making this some singular occurrence that stood out 0:04:42.279 --> 0:04:44.320 in my head from the one time it happened. 0:04:43.960 --> 0:04:45.400 Like of course, all the time, all the time. 0:04:45.920 --> 0:04:49.159 There's a movie when I was younger that was written, directed, 0:04:49.200 --> 0:04:52.320 and produced I believe by Eddie Murphy called Boomerang, and 0:04:52.400 --> 0:04:55.280 I remember there was a massive uproar in Hollywood and 0:04:55.320 --> 0:04:58.960 in the media because there was a movie about executives, 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:03.000 like advertising executives and in the in the fashion and 0:05:04.720 --> 0:05:07.680 like fragrances and you know, in that in that whole world, 0:05:08.560 --> 0:05:11.200 and none of the main characters are white, and people 0:05:11.240 --> 0:05:15.000 were like really insulted and angered by it when that 0:05:15.080 --> 0:05:17.320 had been the case and then reverse for all of history, 0:05:17.480 --> 0:05:19.840 and no one had anything to say. And there is 0:05:19.880 --> 0:05:22.560 a scene in that film where these very very wealthy 0:05:24.320 --> 0:05:28.800 cosmetic marketing and advertisers, they're executives, are shopping at a 0:05:28.800 --> 0:05:33.159 men's clothing store and the salesperson immediately reminds them that 0:05:33.200 --> 0:05:36.599 there's no layaway and that they don't keep cash in 0:05:36.680 --> 0:05:41.400 the store. These three gentlemen have on suits. It's very, 0:05:41.520 --> 0:05:44.680 very clear that they are well to do if you 0:05:44.760 --> 0:05:50.440 will again, you know, marketing executives. But this salesperson saw 0:05:50.440 --> 0:05:52.920 three black men. It didn't care. It didn't care or 0:05:52.920 --> 0:05:54.560 it didn't matter that they had money or how they 0:05:54.600 --> 0:05:57.760 were dressed or how they spoke. They were black, so 0:05:57.800 --> 0:06:00.120 they had to be there to either steal something or 0:06:00.120 --> 0:06:02.720 they clearly could not afford anything that was there. So 0:06:03.160 --> 0:06:06.200 whenever they would grab something that they liked, he would 0:06:06.400 --> 0:06:09.440 make it known to them how expensive it was. That is, 0:06:10.000 --> 0:06:12.640 twelve hundred dollars or you know, whatever the price was, 0:06:12.680 --> 0:06:16.120 to kind of discourage them from even looking, and then 0:06:16.200 --> 0:06:21.279 reminded them we don't have layo. And when one of 0:06:21.279 --> 0:06:25.200 them simply suggested that they were okay, before he walked 0:06:25.200 --> 0:06:28.000 away and left them alone, made sure that they knew 0:06:28.839 --> 0:06:32.400 we don't keep cashing the store. Yeah, I think that 0:06:33.440 --> 0:06:35.880 speaks to that's sort of like art. 0:06:35.760 --> 0:06:39.839 Imitating life because that was a movie, but that I 0:06:39.839 --> 0:06:44.280 think that illustrates how we have this as black people, 0:06:44.560 --> 0:06:50.360 this collective trauma. This is almost like a shared experience. 0:06:51.200 --> 0:06:56.280 I know that if I encounter someone I've never met 0:06:56.320 --> 0:06:58.400 before but grew up in the United States, was black, 0:06:58.640 --> 0:07:00.800 might have grown up in a different sety different state 0:07:02.080 --> 0:07:08.679 that they will understand the feeling of shopping while black. 0:07:08.800 --> 0:07:12.440 I mean, like you said, art imitating life. That's why 0:07:12.480 --> 0:07:14.760 that scene was in the movie. Everybody black that saw 0:07:14.800 --> 0:07:18.320 that movie understood it was probably funny immediately. 0:07:19.120 --> 0:07:21.920 Not funny because it's funny, but funny because the movie 0:07:21.960 --> 0:07:25.360 perhaps captured it so well and it was so relatable. Right, 0:07:25.440 --> 0:07:30.080 So in that way, now I want to share a 0:07:30.120 --> 0:07:34.120 story about when I was I believe it was my 0:07:34.200 --> 0:07:36.720 first year of high school. But first I want to 0:07:36.760 --> 0:07:39.280 discuss why we're talking about this. So, as I mentioned, 0:07:41.400 --> 0:07:45.280 there is a video that has gone viral and the 0:07:45.280 --> 0:07:47.720 Black Information Network actually covered the story. So I'll read 0:07:47.760 --> 0:07:49.520 a bit about the story just to kind of bring 0:07:50.280 --> 0:07:53.880 you the listener up to speed on what kind of 0:07:53.880 --> 0:07:58.880 triggered this. Really, this whole show stereotypes, right, So I'll 0:07:58.880 --> 0:08:02.840 read a bit. Bed Bath and Beyond is facing online 0:08:02.880 --> 0:08:06.280 backlash after staff at an Ohio store called the police 0:08:06.600 --> 0:08:10.280 on a black couple and accused them of shoplifting because 0:08:10.280 --> 0:08:14.080 they had too many quote high ticket items in their cart. 0:08:14.960 --> 0:08:18.880 Footage posted by Lamar Richards on June sixteenth shows him 0:08:18.920 --> 0:08:22.600 and his boyfriend confronting store employees at a location in 0:08:22.640 --> 0:08:26.480 Toledo while a police officer is present, and this is 0:08:26.520 --> 0:08:30.840 him talking quote, I'd like to understand why police were called. 0:08:32.000 --> 0:08:35.320 That's very simple. Why were the police called with the 0:08:35.400 --> 0:08:39.240 three black people thinking that we were shoplifting? He asked 0:08:39.280 --> 0:08:42.480 a female worker. He goes on to say, I paid 0:08:42.520 --> 0:08:45.920 six hundred dollars for my things, so obviously I didn't shoplift. 0:08:46.320 --> 0:08:49.120 I want to understand why you thought I was shoplifting. 0:08:50.160 --> 0:08:53.640 And then the staff members says, if there's a big 0:08:53.679 --> 0:08:57.760 purchase item, there's usually a question. We just want to 0:08:57.760 --> 0:09:02.240 make sure. Richard said, okay, usually a question. I can 0:09:02.360 --> 0:09:05.839 understand that, but police being called, I can't understand that. 0:09:07.120 --> 0:09:14.240 So we obviously we saw this video and we recognize 0:09:15.920 --> 0:09:21.800 that feeling that Richards and his partner were having in 0:09:21.840 --> 0:09:24.040 that moment. I believe there was a comment that he 0:09:24.120 --> 0:09:29.040 made that was very similar to the scene that you 0:09:29.160 --> 0:09:33.120 just described in Boomerang Q where he says to the 0:09:33.520 --> 0:09:36.239 Richard says to the employee at the bed bathroom beyond, 0:09:37.160 --> 0:09:42.120 he says to her, I paid for this with a 0:09:42.160 --> 0:09:47.000 debit card, not with a credit card, using money that 0:09:47.080 --> 0:09:51.559 I earned with my degree. 0:09:51.840 --> 0:09:56.040 That was a statement earn from my job with the exactly, 0:09:56.760 --> 0:09:59.080 that's a bar That's a bar ain't it. 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:05.000 And you know for other people that I feel like, oh, 0:10:05.160 --> 0:10:08.480 you know, it's just a misunderstanding. Oh, these people exist, 0:10:08.559 --> 0:10:09.439 que I see your face. 0:10:09.640 --> 0:10:12.040 I'm sure they do. The problem is you'd have to 0:10:12.040 --> 0:10:14.840 be able to provide me a counter example, that's what 0:10:14.920 --> 0:10:17.240 to present it to me as a misunderstanding. And I 0:10:17.280 --> 0:10:19.240 know you can't because it doesn't happen. 0:10:19.080 --> 0:10:24.240 Right, But these people exist. And so for those people 0:10:25.040 --> 0:10:28.280 in your world, our listener, maybe you recognize that this 0:10:28.400 --> 0:10:30.840 is a thing, but maybe the people around you don't, 0:10:31.600 --> 0:10:34.280 and the people that you have conversations with and trying 0:10:34.280 --> 0:10:38.320 to help us tell our stories. So for the people 0:10:38.600 --> 0:10:41.600 that think that this is it might just be a misunderstanding, 0:10:41.600 --> 0:10:43.199 don't make a big deal out of it. Why are 0:10:43.200 --> 0:10:47.400 you filming, why are you recording? Clearly we're just protecting 0:10:47.440 --> 0:10:50.120 our interest. We didn't know it was an honest mistake, 0:10:50.160 --> 0:10:54.440 that sort of stuff, right, Because people feel this way, 0:10:54.480 --> 0:10:58.560 Those people are not looking beyond the incident that is 0:10:58.600 --> 0:11:02.920 in front of them. Those people are not realizing that, indeed, 0:11:02.920 --> 0:11:07.160 it is a lifetime of having that sort of monkey 0:11:07.200 --> 0:11:11.559 on your back in a manner of speaking, that nervousness 0:11:11.960 --> 0:11:15.800 when shopping through or walking through a store shopping you know, 0:11:15.920 --> 0:11:18.600 you know, the craziest thing, just a real quick example, 0:11:18.600 --> 0:11:21.760 The craziest thing for me is when I go into 0:11:21.880 --> 0:11:28.480 a store hoping to find something and I don't find 0:11:28.880 --> 0:11:32.480 what I'm wanting and I have to leave the store 0:11:32.800 --> 0:11:38.199 empty handed. It plagues me constantly. The reason for that 0:11:38.760 --> 0:11:41.920 is because if I go into the store and I 0:11:42.000 --> 0:11:45.559 don't find what I want and I have to leave 0:11:45.559 --> 0:11:49.080 the store empty handed, I steal. At forty years old, 0:11:49.320 --> 0:11:54.199 have that constant companion that fear, that trauma that says 0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:56.880 they're going to think I came in here to steal. 0:11:56.600 --> 0:12:01.640 Something really really sad and really infuriating. Truth to what 0:12:01.679 --> 0:12:03.280 you just said is, as soon as you said it, 0:12:03.360 --> 0:12:06.640 my stomach started hurting because you know exactly, I knew 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:11.040 you're why without you having to even express it. And 0:12:11.080 --> 0:12:13.440 it's that way with going into a store not buying. 0:12:14.240 --> 0:12:18.240 It's that way when getting poor service and still getting 0:12:18.360 --> 0:12:23.240 obligated to tip. You know, it is a you know that, 0:12:23.520 --> 0:12:26.240 like you said, that companion that's always with us where 0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:29.400 we have to make these decisions through this prism that 0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:34.839 is so incredibly unfair, so incredibly frustrating, but so incredibly 0:12:35.280 --> 0:12:35.960 ever present. 0:12:36.000 --> 0:12:36.640 It's constant. 0:12:36.720 --> 0:12:36.880 Yeah. 0:12:37.240 --> 0:12:42.800 Yeah, So let me give you an example once upon 0:12:42.880 --> 0:12:48.480 a time. This is my mind. You have a ton 0:12:48.480 --> 0:12:52.120 of examples, but this one was very scary for me, 0:12:53.120 --> 0:12:56.839 very very scary for me. First, let me give you 0:12:56.840 --> 0:12:59.800 a little bit of background. If you're new to this show, 0:12:59.840 --> 0:13:05.600 you may not know this. My father was a minister. 0:13:06.360 --> 0:13:10.400 I don't say that because I believe it's necessarily virtuous. 0:13:11.000 --> 0:13:17.800 I say that because I understood quite well the difference 0:13:17.840 --> 0:13:22.720 between right and wrong according to the majority of the 0:13:22.720 --> 0:13:25.480 principles that we share as human beings. It speaks to 0:13:25.520 --> 0:13:28.280 a type of upbringing moral code. Yeah, trying to come 0:13:28.360 --> 0:13:37.679 across as virtuous. Yes, okay, thank you. So I knew 0:13:37.720 --> 0:13:43.360 better than this. Still, In addition, I recognized that the 0:13:43.440 --> 0:13:49.840 consequences or doing anything outside of what is expected of 0:13:49.880 --> 0:13:55.839 you while being black are more severe than the consequences 0:13:56.120 --> 0:13:59.120 of doing something outside of what it is expected of 0:13:59.160 --> 0:14:05.240 you while being white. In other words, if I, a 0:14:05.400 --> 0:14:13.400 black person, wants to drink beer as an underage teenager 0:14:13.440 --> 0:14:17.960 in high school, the consequences would be far worse for me. Potentially, 0:14:18.120 --> 0:14:20.560 if the police showed up, then they might be for 0:14:21.360 --> 0:14:25.000 you know, my friends who were not as melanated, and 0:14:25.080 --> 0:14:27.840 on and on the consequence for everything. Beer is kind 0:14:27.880 --> 0:14:30.520 of a low hanging example, but you can imagine. 0:14:30.760 --> 0:14:34.000 I mean, but it's good to use a slightly benign example, 0:14:34.000 --> 0:14:36.560 thank you, to point out the contrast. Right, you show 0:14:36.640 --> 0:14:39.480 up to a party where the teenagers don't look like us, 0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:42.760 and it's a slap on the wrist and almost very literally, 0:14:42.840 --> 0:14:44.400 you know, hey, don't do this again, we'll tell your 0:14:44.400 --> 0:14:47.280 parents kind of thing. Yeah, we're going to jail. Chargers 0:14:47.320 --> 0:14:48.960 are being pressed, lawyers. 0:14:48.680 --> 0:14:50.760 Have to be involved parents. 0:14:51.000 --> 0:14:56.680 Hopefully that's all that happened. Hopefully this does not escalate 0:14:56.680 --> 0:14:59.480 into something far more sinister for no reason at all, 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:01.520 except because of the way that you live. 0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:05.080 Sure, sure, and it's important that so a lot of 0:15:05.080 --> 0:15:08.240 people that don't live in this skin or have the 0:15:08.280 --> 0:15:12.120 black experience in the United States of America. And by 0:15:12.160 --> 0:15:14.800 that I don't mean by proximity, I mean by actually 0:15:14.880 --> 0:15:18.120 waking up inside of a black body with melanin, but 0:15:18.200 --> 0:15:21.920 you're body producing melanin that turns it brown, beautiful brown color. 0:15:22.720 --> 0:15:28.880 That experience, living that life, you cannot know the reality. 0:15:29.760 --> 0:15:32.400 And so for people who might say, listen, you're just 0:15:32.480 --> 0:15:36.720 imagining these things. It's the world is a fairer place 0:15:36.800 --> 0:15:39.200 than you think. We elected a black president. You know, 0:15:39.280 --> 0:15:45.560 people think this right, You cannot make that judgment only 0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:49.760 having lived the part of the experience that afford you 0:15:50.400 --> 0:15:53.120 the privilege to even fix your mouth to say that, 0:15:54.480 --> 0:16:03.960 I'll continue as a team. I went to the mall 0:16:04.080 --> 0:16:07.360 after school, which is what we did once upon a time. 0:16:07.400 --> 0:16:10.960 We didn't all have cell phones and whatever. You know, 0:16:11.400 --> 0:16:13.640 we actually had to hang out with each other, and 0:16:13.680 --> 0:16:17.080 that was our our friend group and our followers, et cetera, right, 0:16:19.240 --> 0:16:21.080 and a place to do. This place to be social 0:16:21.120 --> 0:16:24.080 was at the mall. Right, went to the mall one 0:16:24.160 --> 0:16:29.160 day and went into it might have been a It 0:16:29.200 --> 0:16:33.440 was a drug store, like a Walgreens or something. And 0:16:33.520 --> 0:16:39.960 I walked into the store through the outside door. In 0:16:40.000 --> 0:16:42.480 other words, I was using this store to gain access 0:16:42.520 --> 0:16:44.960 to the mall. It had two entrances, one from the 0:16:45.000 --> 0:16:47.240 mall side and one from outside, so I'm coming in 0:16:47.280 --> 0:16:51.040 from the outside. Walked into the store just fine. But 0:16:51.120 --> 0:16:52.600 mind you, I just got out of school, so I 0:16:52.600 --> 0:16:57.400 had my backpack on. I'm walking through the store. Remember 0:16:57.440 --> 0:16:59.200 I'm not buying anything. I'm just going into the mall, 0:17:00.400 --> 0:17:02.160 and when I get to the front of the store, 0:17:03.320 --> 0:17:13.439 the alarm thing beeps and and you know, I've been 0:17:13.480 --> 0:17:18.080 through some really tense moments in my life. I've I've 0:17:18.119 --> 0:17:21.399 had to come to terms with my own mortality. I 0:17:21.440 --> 0:17:31.000 have not been that scared maybe four or five times ever. 0:17:31.960 --> 0:17:37.760 Because when that alarm beaped, those people got to manhandling me, 0:17:38.320 --> 0:17:42.679 and they were yelling and screaming, and I didn't know 0:17:42.720 --> 0:17:44.879 what was going on because of course I didn't steal anything. 0:17:44.960 --> 0:17:46.520 I mean, just to give you the endisery, I didn't 0:17:46.520 --> 0:17:50.520 steal anything, but the way that they approached me as 0:17:50.520 --> 0:17:56.239 though I was already convicted of the capital murder, you 0:17:56.280 --> 0:18:00.080 know what I mean, like they had they wrestled me. 0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:02.760 You know, I'm not a I'm physically not a big person. 0:18:03.000 --> 0:18:05.399 I was much smaller when I was in school. I 0:18:05.440 --> 0:18:08.919 was a child steal. I might have been fourteen in 0:18:09.000 --> 0:18:14.879 ninth grade. You know, they were, you know, and these 0:18:15.040 --> 0:18:17.880 these are men, you know, the mall security, that sort 0:18:17.920 --> 0:18:21.000 of person. I don't remember if it was police or not, 0:18:21.119 --> 0:18:22.560 but it might have been because there were so many 0:18:22.560 --> 0:18:28.480 people there, and they they pushed me over the counter. 0:18:29.720 --> 0:18:32.520 After they took my backpack and they had my hands 0:18:32.520 --> 0:18:34.960 behind my back and they were just holding me. I 0:18:34.960 --> 0:18:36.879 didn't get handcuffed or anything, but they were holding me 0:18:36.920 --> 0:18:41.639 there and it was so aggressive. And then my friends 0:18:41.640 --> 0:18:44.520 that I was with they were powerless because remember their 0:18:44.560 --> 0:18:48.440 children too, so they're standing on the other side and 0:18:48.480 --> 0:18:51.560 they're thinking the worst. They're like, oh my god, Rams 0:18:52.240 --> 0:18:54.320 got caught stealing. And the start, how did he steal me? 0:18:54.440 --> 0:18:58.879 We just walked through the store. So the end of 0:18:58.880 --> 0:19:03.840 that story is they started going through my backpack because 0:19:03.880 --> 0:19:06.320 obviously they were checking my person to see if I 0:19:06.320 --> 0:19:10.719 had anything, and then go through my backpack and then 0:19:10.760 --> 0:19:14.160 they take out They first looked at my background. There's 0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:17.680 nothing in my backpack except homework and like pencils and stuff. 0:19:18.080 --> 0:19:20.920 So they're putting everything. They put the backpack through the 0:19:22.720 --> 0:19:25.520 beeping machine or whatever to see if you the shoplifting gait. 0:19:25.600 --> 0:19:28.200 I guess, and then my backpack beep. I remember that. 0:19:28.640 --> 0:19:31.080 And then they started taking my backpack everything out of 0:19:31.080 --> 0:19:33.640 its the big zipper and then the little tiny zipper, 0:19:33.640 --> 0:19:35.719 and they're putting everything through to try to figure out 0:19:35.800 --> 0:19:38.719 what was beeping the thing. Then they took out there 0:19:38.800 --> 0:19:41.560 used to be these notebook holders, and they were like 0:19:41.640 --> 0:19:44.720 kind of like trapper keepers sort of things. Basically would 0:19:44.760 --> 0:19:46.800 hold all your homework and your notes and everything from 0:19:46.800 --> 0:19:50.680 your different classes. They took out my trapper keeper thing 0:19:51.440 --> 0:19:53.320 and they held that through. 0:19:53.119 --> 0:19:59.760 The uh, trapper keeper thing because that is from a generation. 0:20:00.359 --> 0:20:02.520 Yeah you may not know, most of us know what 0:20:02.600 --> 0:20:06.200 a trapper keeper. I'm watching his face as he's trying 0:20:06.240 --> 0:20:08.480 to describe it. It's a folder. They'd be like saying, 0:20:08.480 --> 0:20:11.840 you know, a Coca cola thing, Like, no, just a coke. Yeah, 0:20:12.280 --> 0:20:15.080 trapper keeper. Yeah, that's what I had. Anyway, So they 0:20:15.400 --> 0:20:18.840 held it through the machine in it or the gate thing, 0:20:18.840 --> 0:20:22.320 and they beat. So then they zipped it open and 0:20:22.640 --> 0:20:25.080 trapper keeper and kept everything safe. 0:20:25.480 --> 0:20:26.080 So they zipped it. 0:20:26.119 --> 0:20:28.840 It's basically like a like a folder or a briefcase, 0:20:28.880 --> 0:20:29.480 but for kids. 0:20:29.560 --> 0:20:34.800 Right opened it up. I opened it up and it 0:20:34.920 --> 0:20:39.040 still had that tag that causes the gates to beat 0:20:40.320 --> 0:20:42.520 in it. Now you could look visibly look at it 0:20:42.560 --> 0:20:44.800 and see that it was worn, it was well used. 0:20:45.440 --> 0:20:48.600 I had it for maybe I had it all that year, 0:20:49.560 --> 0:20:52.639 but I suspect because I didn't grow up with a 0:20:52.640 --> 0:20:55.239 lot of money. If the stuff still was working let 0:20:55.280 --> 0:20:57.439 it ride. I probably had it for a few years, 0:20:57.800 --> 0:21:01.040 but that little sticker that causes the alarm to people 0:21:01.080 --> 0:21:04.040 still in the older. And so when I initially purchased 0:21:04.080 --> 0:21:06.119 it because I did put well, my mom purchased it 0:21:06.960 --> 0:21:09.760 for me to go to school. It had it in 0:21:09.800 --> 0:21:14.080 there and they never took it off right, So that, 0:21:14.680 --> 0:21:18.720 at fourteen years old, confirmed exactly what it was that 0:21:18.800 --> 0:21:23.560 I thought might happen if I was suspected of shoplifting. 0:21:24.520 --> 0:21:27.120 Call the authorities. It's a four alarm fire. Let's get 0:21:27.119 --> 0:21:30.400 everybody down here. There's a criminal, you know, and they 0:21:30.440 --> 0:21:33.520 don't come to the table with Hey, this might be 0:21:33.560 --> 0:21:38.679 a misunderstanding like they do. Because I've seen this happen 0:21:39.200 --> 0:21:43.120 at affluent department stores, because I shop in places like Built. 0:21:42.840 --> 0:21:47.480 In Benefited, the doubt for everyone else is triggering. 0:21:47.800 --> 0:21:51.000 Yeah, excuse me, ma'am. We must have forgotten to take 0:21:51.040 --> 0:21:52.920 something off of one of your items. Can we check 0:21:52.960 --> 0:21:55.399 that out and make sure that you're okay? Even if 0:21:55.640 --> 0:21:58.200 that person is suspected of stealing. 0:21:58.400 --> 0:22:02.239 You spare them the humiliation person is stealing, Yeah, you 0:22:02.520 --> 0:22:05.920 spare them with humiliation, and in my case, they were 0:22:06.000 --> 0:22:06.480 hurting me. 0:22:07.359 --> 0:22:12.720 I'll never forget that like, I was that afraid I 0:22:12.840 --> 0:22:18.040 have in that moment, I somehow disappointed my mother, my family, 0:22:18.119 --> 0:22:20.800 my friends, my community. You know, I always tried to 0:22:20.800 --> 0:22:22.199 do the right thing. I always tried to be a 0:22:22.200 --> 0:22:25.040 good person. I'm not going to say that I've always 0:22:25.080 --> 0:22:28.040 been perfect. I've had to learn what it means to 0:22:28.040 --> 0:22:31.159 be a man. Yeah, that's called growing up. We're perfect. 0:22:31.200 --> 0:22:32.720 It's not even a word that I can use for 0:22:32.760 --> 0:22:36.920 anything I've ever done throughout my entire existence. Somebody called 0:22:36.920 --> 0:22:38.479 me perfect before it made me cringe. 0:22:38.600 --> 0:22:42.840 Yeah that's fair. Yeah, we are learning. But listen, what's this? 0:22:44.720 --> 0:22:47.439 I think this this, this example and your example also 0:22:48.240 --> 0:22:52.119 shows how the point I'm trying to make, which is 0:22:52.160 --> 0:22:55.720 I had to learn despite having a strong moral code 0:22:55.760 --> 0:22:57.480 and an upbringing kind of knowing more or less what 0:22:57.560 --> 0:22:59.199 was right for mom, I had to learn what it 0:22:59.200 --> 0:23:02.680 meant to be a good man. I had to learn. 0:23:02.920 --> 0:23:06.760 And oftentimes we don't have the grace as black men 0:23:07.040 --> 0:23:09.320 to be able to learn, to make a mistake and 0:23:09.400 --> 0:23:13.080 learn from it. We're held to a standard of adults 0:23:13.160 --> 0:23:15.320 when we're children and treated like adults. 0:23:15.800 --> 0:23:18.160 That's because two things are true. One is that that 0:23:18.200 --> 0:23:20.280 criminal element is baked in if you look like that. 0:23:20.880 --> 0:23:22.800 So the reason why you're not giving any grace is 0:23:22.800 --> 0:23:25.480 because you're not making a mistake. You're being a criminals. 0:23:25.560 --> 0:23:28.040 That's what you are, That's who you are. So you're 0:23:28.080 --> 0:23:31.159 doing what it's in your nature to be that, right, 0:23:31.400 --> 0:23:33.080 you know what I mean. And we're assumed to also 0:23:33.600 --> 0:23:36.280 always be poor. You know. I thought of an example 0:23:36.280 --> 0:23:37.760 why you were telling your story, just to make this 0:23:37.800 --> 0:23:40.680 as quick as I possibly can. When I was shopping 0:23:40.680 --> 0:23:43.080 for my car, yes, the car that I have now, 0:23:43.800 --> 0:23:48.199 and I remember I was asking all these questions and 0:23:48.240 --> 0:23:51.240 the guy said to me in these words, so I 0:23:51.280 --> 0:23:53.760 ended up, of course, not buying a car from him. 0:23:53.880 --> 0:23:56.639 You're asking all these questions, sir, can you even afford 0:23:56.680 --> 0:23:57.200 this car? 0:23:57.359 --> 0:23:57.480 You know? 0:23:58.680 --> 0:24:01.320 And I was like wow. Now, of course I didn't 0:24:01.359 --> 0:24:04.160 work suit to the car dealership, but to be petty, 0:24:04.200 --> 0:24:07.760 I did screenshot my account balance at the time, and 0:24:07.800 --> 0:24:09.800 it's just so happened that this was this way. I 0:24:09.800 --> 0:24:12.320 don't want anybody to read into this. I had enough 0:24:12.359 --> 0:24:15.800 money in my account that day to buy the car cash. 0:24:17.160 --> 0:24:19.439 So a nice car, the sales you, a very nice car. 0:24:19.560 --> 0:24:22.040 The sales manager at that dealership got a screenshot of 0:24:22.040 --> 0:24:24.639 my account balance. I did not have that kind of 0:24:24.680 --> 0:24:28.119 money for real, but that day the account balance was 0:24:28.160 --> 0:24:31.199 popping and I got to send that screenshot to that 0:24:31.280 --> 0:24:33.840 sales manager. As you can imagine, he was very upset 0:24:33.920 --> 0:24:35.639 and did a lot to try to win my business back, 0:24:35.680 --> 0:24:37.440 but it was too late, because I knew the only 0:24:37.480 --> 0:24:40.840 reason this person assumed I couldn't afford this car was 0:24:41.200 --> 0:24:42.080 because I looked like Q. 0:24:43.680 --> 0:24:46.920 I think Q is a good looking man. I appreciate you, brother, Yes, sir. Likewise, 0:24:48.080 --> 0:24:51.159 listen up, we got a lot more here. We're going 0:24:51.200 --> 0:24:52.280