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Speaker 1: Hey, guys, what's up. It's Jane Kramer and you're listening

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Speaker 1: to the wine Down. Whine wind Down. Um. I love

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Speaker 1: wine and anyone who follows me on Instagram at Kramer

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Speaker 1: Girl will know that I love to drink my wine

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Speaker 1: and this is my time to wind down with some

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Speaker 1: wine and talk about how my child winds. No, but seriously,

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm here for you guys, um as a mom,

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Speaker 1: as a friend, as a sister, as just a pal,

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Speaker 1: and we're going to talk about it all. And I'm

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Speaker 1: super excited about it because this is my time right now.

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Speaker 1: This is my time to hang out with you guys

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Speaker 1: and just chat about what's going on in the world,

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Speaker 1: what's going on in my life, what's going on in

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Speaker 1: your life, and we're just gonna have a great time

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Speaker 1: and get through it all together. Life. Life, man, life

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Speaker 1: is something huh. As a mom, it is, it is.

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Speaker 1: But it's also like the whole journey of becoming a

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Speaker 1: mom too, Like even when you're single, It's like when

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Speaker 1: I was single, I still wanted to be a mom.

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Speaker 1: So it's like that whole process of like getting to

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Speaker 1: be a mom, right, like trying to find oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: since I was like five, and everybody knows. Really, did

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Speaker 1: you know? By the way, this is producer Jen. She's

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Speaker 1: amazing and she's got kids. One we have one. He

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Speaker 1: just turns six. A boy. It's a boy. A little people,

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Speaker 1: really fun, super fun. What do you do with that?

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Speaker 1: That's a thing. Like I'm so afraid to have a

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Speaker 1: boy because it's like I know what to do with

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Speaker 1: the girl stuff, but like the boy thing, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: He's like so little and like, well, I know when

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Speaker 1: he was smaller, I would just wash him. And now

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Speaker 1: I'm a little weird. Right, you take your back like

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Speaker 1: you white? Yeah, you do? You stay away from that weird.

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Speaker 1: What's his name again? Rocco? Rocco? Where'd that come from? Um?

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Speaker 1: I named him after sat Rocco, who is a saint,

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Speaker 1: the saint of healing. Oh that's beautiful, it's really beautiful.

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Speaker 1: The only saint that actually has a dog in the picture.

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Speaker 1: Don't have dogs. He's the only one, a little Rocco.

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Speaker 1: I love that? Did you just want one? Yes? I

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Speaker 1: love that? Yeah, I just wanted why I was a one.

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Speaker 1: I have two older sisters, but they're half sisters, so

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Speaker 1: I wasn't only and I just never. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: be really honest, I didn't grow up wanting to be

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Speaker 1: a mom. Really, although I think I'm a really good mom,

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Speaker 1: the best that I can be, no judgment. I'm just curious.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I just didn't have that the mom thing,

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Speaker 1: the mom thing like you could have been okay, Like

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Speaker 1: this is what I always say to my girlfriends that

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Speaker 1: are like, I don't know if I want to be

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Speaker 1: a mom. I'm like, if you were sixty years old

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Speaker 1: swinging on your front porch, would you regret not being

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Speaker 1: a mom, and you would have said no. I would

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Speaker 1: have said no. But it's because I didn't have the experience.

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Speaker 1: Now that I have him, I can't see my life

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Speaker 1: any other way. But I didn't. I wasn't that person.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know, and you were just like just one

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Speaker 1: and done, just one and done. I always get like,

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Speaker 1: what happens if, like my girlfriend Briann just had a

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Speaker 1: baby boy and she just wants the one, but like

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Speaker 1: don't you want like your insurance baby? If something happens

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Speaker 1: and it's terrible to say, but like no, I'm actually

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Speaker 1: terrible to say. I mean, but like then you'd be like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know right, because then you have to think

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Speaker 1: about having another one if something was ever to happen,

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Speaker 1: which is terrifying, terrifying. I I've thought about that, um,

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Speaker 1: but I think I'm at a point where I don't

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Speaker 1: think I would have another baby. I really don't unless

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Speaker 1: I had a surrogate, because I did not like being pregnant.

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Speaker 1: I was not that person that loved like you who

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Speaker 1: I love beautiful or feel beautiful. I was sick for

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Speaker 1: the first few months, and then it was working a lot,

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Speaker 1: and I just wasn't into it, right, That's okay. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I was totally into him when I had him, but

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Speaker 1: I just can't imagine, you know, going through the whole

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Speaker 1: experience again. Yeah, but something and women there are other

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Speaker 1: women who absolutely love it. Yeah, I don't know. For me,

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Speaker 1: I was just like I just I always knew that

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Speaker 1: once I was a mom, that was going to be

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Speaker 1: my my purpose. But at the same time, now I'm

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Speaker 1: having struggling with now finding me through motherhood, which is

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Speaker 1: a crazy journey too, because you're like, man, this was

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Speaker 1: I thought, this is going to be like my purpose,

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Speaker 1: and it is my purpose, but now I still need

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Speaker 1: to like be me too, which is a struggle, you time,

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Speaker 1: me time, What do you do for you till that's

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Speaker 1: the problem. I got to figure that out because it's

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Speaker 1: like I'm always just with my daughter, and so now

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Speaker 1: it's like, now this is the start to be able

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Speaker 1: to do you know. This podcast was like said, this

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Speaker 1: is something for me, gives you time. And granted, yes

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Speaker 1: it's talking still about my child, but I'm still a

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Speaker 1: connected door. But it's this is like what makes me

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Speaker 1: happy and I need that because if not, I'm just

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Speaker 1: gonna lose my identity. And I think that's a problem

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Speaker 1: with moms. Oh absolutely, So why did you have a

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Speaker 1: baby then if you didn't really want one? Because I

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Speaker 1: was getting older? Oh that clutched by that? Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: was getting older and I had been married for a

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Speaker 1: very long long I was married for sixteen years and

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Speaker 1: you're getting divorced. Yes, okay, I'm going through mediation. I'm

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Speaker 1: not using attorneys. I'm trying to compassionately. Are you okay?

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Speaker 1: Are you happy about that? Or I'm super happy? It

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Speaker 1: just wasn't working. I just kept growing and he relationship

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Speaker 1: it just stalled years ago. Did you try therapy? Yes?

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Speaker 1: I didn't. Absolutely no. Was one willing to fight in

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Speaker 1: the other not No, I think we were both ready

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Speaker 1: got it both right. So it's like, okay, yeah, how's

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Speaker 1: Rocko dealing with it? There's he's so resilient. I mean,

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Speaker 1: when they're that young, they're like rubber bands. They just

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Speaker 1: bounce right back. What are you fighting over in their mediation?

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Speaker 1: What does it? I mean air miles? I was watching um,

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Speaker 1: you know, I was watching UM wedding Crashers and they

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Speaker 1: were like fighting over the air mouse. He did ask

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Speaker 1: for half of the miles. He did absolutely stop. I swear,

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Speaker 1: I swear that's on the table, just like in the movies. People. Yes,

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Speaker 1: and uh. He definitely wants the equity out of the house.

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Speaker 1: That's in the house that should be split. It's going

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Speaker 1: to be split. But um so I'll probably sell the house.

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Speaker 1: What else do you want that he's being poopy over nothing.

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Speaker 1: I'm not asking for anything, man, I'd be like, I

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Speaker 1: want it all, give me it all for this marriage

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Speaker 1: that you've ruined. I want the house, I want the baby,

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Speaker 1: I want it all. I mean, I'm asking for Rocko.

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Speaker 1: That's it. So here's my thing, Because I've thought about

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Speaker 1: divorce millions of times from my awesome husband, UM, and

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Speaker 1: I there we go, ladies and gentlemen. I'm an open book.

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Speaker 1: Um I contemplate divorce on a daily basis. Um no, yes,

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Speaker 1: but um that is my biggest thing is my daughter

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Speaker 1: because it's like I would want to fight for as

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Speaker 1: much custody, but at the same time, I know it's

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Speaker 1: not good for her. She needs both, right, So like

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Speaker 1: you're you're just asking for like primary, I'm asking for primary.

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Speaker 1: He goes over there every Wednesday night and spends the

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Speaker 1: night at that time and then every other weekend. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So that's what I would want to and I think

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Speaker 1: it's a nice balance for all of us, because you

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Speaker 1: do need a break. I don't know how I was

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Speaker 1: doing it without any break because the three days the weekend,

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Speaker 1: although I miss him, it's made incredible kind of recharge.

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Speaker 1: We don't do enough of that. So what do you do?

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Speaker 1: Wednesday nights? Usually go out to dinner, I get a massage,

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Speaker 1: I go out with girlfriends. Maybe I should fantasize about that.

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Speaker 1: Then every Wednesday I can by myself. I'm gonna come home.

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Speaker 1: We're like, hey, honey, I'm filing for divorce I on

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Speaker 1: every Wednesday. Like no, but I mean sometimes like, gosh,

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Speaker 1: that would be a great time, but then like what

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Speaker 1: about holidays? Then I gets sad about that. So and

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Speaker 1: then the other girl like I would never want like

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Speaker 1: him to like be like the other girl around. Oh,

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Speaker 1: that is in the paperwork that we have to meet, um,

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Speaker 1: the other person before Roco can meet them. I think

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Speaker 1: you should do like six months. That's what my brother does,

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Speaker 1: where it's like we have to be dating for at

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Speaker 1: least six months. So it's serious because you don't want

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Speaker 1: just every like freaking chica coming over that he just

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Speaker 1: met at the bar, so like around your son, no, no,

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Speaker 1: and vice versa. Oh my god, that first meeting I

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Speaker 1: would ruin her and it was like I'd be like,

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Speaker 1: you don't call her your daughter, you don't talk to her.

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Speaker 1: Oh god, that'd be so hard. Girl. I'm sorry. No,

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Speaker 1: it's okay. I'm okay with that. I'm really flexible with it.

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Speaker 1: You're a piece with it, I'm at piece with The

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Speaker 1: Holidays are pretty easy because um, my family's you Ish

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Speaker 1: and his family's Catholic, so he takes the Catholic holidays

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Speaker 1: and yeah, it just works. Can we celebrate Christmas a

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Speaker 1: month then? Yeah, fantastic