WEBVTT - Two Jersey Js: SOs & XOs

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, guys, welcome back to Jersey Jays. I am Jackie Goldschneider.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Jennifer Wessler.

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<v Speaker 2>And today we are talking about Vallan Valentine today.

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<v Speaker 1>Very exciting and we have the two.

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<v Speaker 3>Hottest guests on and yes I get carried away. Okay,

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<v Speaker 3>Yes they're cute. They're very Cute're very cute.

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<v Speaker 2>It's Evan Goldschneider and Jeffrey Fessler.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you call him jack or Jeffrey.

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<v Speaker 3>Depends what mood I'm in, jeff Jeffrey. There's other choice

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<v Speaker 3>words that I use that will go unmentioned here, but yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>we both answered it just about anything.

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<v Speaker 2>So all right, Well we'll get into everything with them,

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<v Speaker 2>but before that, let's catch up a little because I

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<v Speaker 2>did see you.

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<v Speaker 1>At fashion Week this week, but I saw you didn't.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, everything was so crazy, we didn't get to

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<v Speaker 2>talk too much.

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<v Speaker 1>How was your week? Did you have fun? I wasn't.

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<v Speaker 3>It wasn't a fashion week. I had a week event,

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<v Speaker 3>so I think you probably did a lot more than

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<v Speaker 3>I did. But I loved it. You were the one

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<v Speaker 3>that I was at per Grave event and it was

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<v Speaker 3>just it was amazing. It was so much fun. I

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<v Speaker 3>haven't been to a lot of fashion shows, so I'm

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<v Speaker 3>a total newbie in this category. And yeah, it was

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<v Speaker 3>really really cool. The Graven is an amazing new brand,

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<v Speaker 3>and I have been loving their clothing for a while

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<v Speaker 3>now because I got a package from them, probably going back,

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know, maybe six months ago, and have absolutely

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<v Speaker 3>loved what they sent me, and just looking at their

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<v Speaker 3>new collection, it is so gorgeous. It is so high quality,

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<v Speaker 3>it is so luxurious. Materials are amazing. I loved that

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<v Speaker 3>fashion show. Oh good, Yeah, it was really fun.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean I think we were both front row, and

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<v Speaker 2>the models are so beautiful and the clothes were so nice.

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<v Speaker 2>Sort of transports you to a different world for the moment.

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<v Speaker 2>You forget that the whole world's on buyer and like

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<v Speaker 2>everything sucks once you walk out the tour.

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<v Speaker 3>But I thought the first part also was. I mean,

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<v Speaker 3>I didn't again, I didn't have my expectations. I didn't

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<v Speaker 3>have I didn't really know what I was walking into.

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<v Speaker 3>I've only been to a few of these, but I

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<v Speaker 3>mean they were serving caviar on blinis. What are those

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<v Speaker 3>little wait, what are the little pancakes called? Yeah, I

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<v Speaker 3>think they called Bellini's Bellini's right, and they were serving

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<v Speaker 3>belinis because it was at Kasta Chipriani. We're drinking Bellini's

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<v Speaker 3>and all like the most beautiful, fabulous people. And you

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<v Speaker 3>saw Rachel my daughter working. She looks amazing. So Jen's

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<v Speaker 3>daughter graduated college last year.

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<v Speaker 2>She graduated Delaware and now she is working in pr Ryes.

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<v Speaker 3>She works in the city. Then, yeah, she just like

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<v Speaker 3>looks like a city check. Now, oh really she's well

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<v Speaker 3>sophisticated working girl. Yeah, Julia Hart. And she didn't even

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<v Speaker 3>know that it was really Julia Hart, but came in

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<v Speaker 3>and complimented her on her outfit and she knew who

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<v Speaker 3>she was, just like, mom, that's and she was sort

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<v Speaker 3>of like try and pull together. I was like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>that's tooly hard. She was so flattered.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Julia is the sweetest. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>It was a great event. And yeah, now back to life.

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<v Speaker 2>I have one more this week and then back to

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<v Speaker 2>regular life. Back to the unglamorous life. No, just kidding,

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<v Speaker 2>everything's glammory.

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<v Speaker 1>No.

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<v Speaker 2>So other than that, do you uh well, we'll save

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<v Speaker 2>some of this for with the guys. But but do

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<v Speaker 2>you do you celebrate Valentine's Day?

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<v Speaker 1>No?

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<v Speaker 3>Not really, I mean no, well, we have like a

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<v Speaker 3>couple of traditions that we can save it for our

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<v Speaker 3>discussion with the guys that are just silly. But no,

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<v Speaker 3>we don't do anything big. We don't make big dinner

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<v Speaker 3>plans to you.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, no, you know we used to. But it's funny.

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<v Speaker 2>Now my fourteen year old daughter's got a little guy

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<v Speaker 2>that she's been dating for like three months, and my

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<v Speaker 2>sixteen year old almost seventeen next and a month and

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<v Speaker 2>a half, has a girlfriend, and so now they want

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<v Speaker 2>to both take their you know, others out to dinner,

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<v Speaker 2>and so we and Evan are kind of like, well,

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<v Speaker 2>I think we're just going to be like driving people

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<v Speaker 2>all night.

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<v Speaker 1>So I have to say, did you do this with

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<v Speaker 1>the little one?

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<v Speaker 3>So when mine were little, every holiday it was I

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<v Speaker 3>had to set something up with I don't know, bloomed

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<v Speaker 3>and then they had these little presents and there was

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<v Speaker 3>candy when they woke up, and then you remember you

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<v Speaker 3>have to like make all little bound hines for them

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<v Speaker 3>to bring to school for the class.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, yes, and they were Actually there was

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<v Speaker 2>a lot because I always had to do two at

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<v Speaker 2>a time because just that's the twins, right, So I

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<v Speaker 2>always had to do like forty six of them and

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<v Speaker 2>like write out the messages and then like seal them

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<v Speaker 2>with the candy and everything, and like it took a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of time.

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<v Speaker 1>But yeah, I miss those days. Got it goes so fast.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh that sounds very cliche, but it goes so fast.

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<v Speaker 2>But we'll go through everything with the guys. I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>and you know, back when we were first date, like

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<v Speaker 2>everything everything had to be like super special. But then

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<v Speaker 2>you know, you we actually keep our love alive, but

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<v Speaker 2>not so much in life. You know, when it's on

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<v Speaker 2>a date in a time, you know, like it's we

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<v Speaker 2>don't do things like just because it's a certain day,

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<v Speaker 2>but just birthdays, maybe anniversary, yeah, just birthdays, although you

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<v Speaker 2>know I'm not a big birthday person. What else, And

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<v Speaker 2>you're your son's in law school. He's doing well. My

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<v Speaker 2>son is in law school. My son is stressed. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know if you were like this, Jack, but he is.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, he doesn't get stressed. And it's been a lot.

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<v Speaker 2>And it's also now the internships after first year, so

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<v Speaker 2>he's dealing with all of that and they are now.

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<v Speaker 2>So I don't know if anybody even cares about this,

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<v Speaker 2>but he's in his he just started his second semester

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<v Speaker 2>of his first year, and he needs to start applying

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<v Speaker 2>for internships for the summer after his second year.

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<v Speaker 1>Yep, which I don't. I'm like, now, what even even

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<v Speaker 1>started hill first year? He'll be fine.

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<v Speaker 3>But he you know, he's really not stress case like

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<v Speaker 3>Rachel and I are stress cases.

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<v Speaker 1>But he's stressed. No, it is very stressful.

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<v Speaker 2>And then, but you know, you could do so many

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<v Speaker 2>things with the law degree.

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<v Speaker 1>For example, I'm on a podcast in the real house.

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<v Speaker 1>That's right there, you go.

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<v Speaker 4>Thanks, all right.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, welcome to our handsome husbands, Jeff and Evan. Thank

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<v Speaker 2>you guys for being here.

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<v Speaker 4>Thank you.

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<v Speaker 2>I God, So, I want to jump right in so

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<v Speaker 2>Fessler's I actually.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't know as close as we are, Jenna, I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know how you guys met. I don't tell me you

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<v Speaker 1>and you don't remember. Really, I think I do. My story, Jeff,

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<v Speaker 1>you want to tell it?

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<v Speaker 2>I want to tell Yeah, you guys, tell me how

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<v Speaker 2>you met, first im questions, first date, how.

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<v Speaker 1>You feel like, give me all of it. It is

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<v Speaker 1>actually a really good story. Go ahead, jeffy Okay.

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<v Speaker 5>So I had used as about seven to nineteen ninety seven,

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<v Speaker 5>so I had used a dating service. A couple of

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<v Speaker 5>times called it just lunch in New York and one

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<v Speaker 5>day ome in the office.

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<v Speaker 3>They wait, so it's just lunch, said it. They set

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<v Speaker 3>professionals up on lunch date. So the the I actually

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<v Speaker 3>think it's still around. But the idea is like, Okay,

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<v Speaker 3>if you're a busy professional, you don't have time for dinner,

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<v Speaker 3>but everybody has time for lunch or a drink. So

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<v Speaker 3>the premise was, excuse me fixing professionals up on lunch dates.

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<v Speaker 1>It's just by the way I used it. Also, there

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<v Speaker 1>you go, yeah, I might have met you, Jack. I know.

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<v Speaker 2>I've actually been furiously searching my emails from back then,

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<v Speaker 2>but email was so new, really, I mean it wasn't

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<v Speaker 2>new new, but like you really didn't do all of

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<v Speaker 2>it through email. So I can't find my emails back

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<v Speaker 2>from like two thousand and one, two thousand and two.

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<v Speaker 2>But I bet you you and you you were my

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<v Speaker 2>person there.

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<v Speaker 3>Can you imagine? Yeah, I was the director of Y

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<v Speaker 3>and then the director of Jersey. All right away, go on,

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<v Speaker 3>Jeffrey John.

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<v Speaker 4>All right.

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<v Speaker 5>So I'm sitting in my office and I get a call.

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<v Speaker 5>It was a Friday afternoon. I think I get a

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<v Speaker 5>call and it's Jen and she's like, you know, I

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<v Speaker 5>see that you used. It's just lunched. Do you want

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<v Speaker 5>to come back? I go no, it was horrible. I'm

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<v Speaker 5>not doing that again. And she was like, just you know,

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<v Speaker 5>I want you to come in and want you to

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<v Speaker 5>meet me. And for some reason, I was like, you

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<v Speaker 5>know what, I have nothing to do. It's Friday afternoon,

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<v Speaker 5>all right, I'll go over and see.

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<v Speaker 3>I was the new director there, so you try to

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<v Speaker 3>so you wanted him to meet you for purposes of

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<v Speaker 3>like it's joining. It was as a numbers game, right, like, okay,

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<v Speaker 3>somebody joined. That was the idea to get more people

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<v Speaker 3>to join. So you called old clients to see if

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<v Speaker 3>they were renew Okay.

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<v Speaker 6>So well I went over.

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<v Speaker 5>I walked in and I was you know, I met

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<v Speaker 5>her and I was like wow, that was my first

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<v Speaker 5>thought was wow, she looks amazing. And we started talking

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<v Speaker 5>and she, you know, does her gen thing with talking

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<v Speaker 5>making you feel great, you know.

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<v Speaker 6>The whole thing. And then she goes, what is your type?

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<v Speaker 6>And I said, look in the mirror.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, and I just well, can I just jump in

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<v Speaker 3>to say that if you know Jeff Fessler, I mean

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<v Speaker 3>you two. Do you know that is not no Jeff

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<v Speaker 3>Fessler thing to say. So, like, looking back on it,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, I remember it happened, and I was like,

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<v Speaker 3>ha ha haha. Another guy thinking he has all this

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<v Speaker 3>you know game. Meanwhile, Jefffessler, no offense. My love has

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<v Speaker 3>a zero game. So that was like a very big deal.

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<v Speaker 4>He did that.

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<v Speaker 1>He did, Oh yeah, well it didn't work.

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<v Speaker 5>Actually, well, yeah, no, it didn't work because then she

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<v Speaker 5>goes she said, well, I'm in a Hampton's house and

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<v Speaker 5>I have a boyfriend.

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<v Speaker 6>And then blah blah blah.

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<v Speaker 5>And this was like May, and I'm thinking there was

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<v Speaker 5>no way she have a boyfriend in May in a

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<v Speaker 5>Hampton's house. You may be maybe at the end of

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<v Speaker 5>the summer, but not now. So I kept pursuing it.

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<v Speaker 5>And you know, first date, what was the first date was.

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<v Speaker 3>Four seasons drink at the four Seasons, right, It was

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<v Speaker 3>like not a date he was sending me. I was like, no, listen,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm you're a client. It's not professional. I don't do that. Meanwhile,

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<v Speaker 3>I really took the job to find a husband. But whatever.

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<v Speaker 3>So I was like no, and then he's like, well,

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<v Speaker 3>we just meet up whatever, have a drink whatever. And

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<v Speaker 3>I remember we went to the we met at the

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<v Speaker 3>Four Seasons, and I was like, this is not like

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<v Speaker 3>we could be friends. This is not going to be

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<v Speaker 3>a love connection. He was shorter than me. Sorry, honey,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm just telling you. My one thing was that I

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<v Speaker 3>wanted a tall guy that was like, didn't I didn't

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<v Speaker 3>care if he was wealthy or you know, really over well,

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<v Speaker 3>he just wanted him taller than me because I always

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<v Speaker 3>felt like kind of like a big girl.

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<v Speaker 1>So careful what you wish for, ladies. So when did

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<v Speaker 1>you know that you were in love?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, we just became friends. I was like, listen, this

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<v Speaker 3>is not going to happen. I'm you know, let's just

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<v Speaker 3>be friends. We could hang out. And we started to

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<v Speaker 3>hang out and like every Thursday. So for all you

0:11:19.080 --> 0:11:23.400
<v Speaker 3>young people listening, Thursday night was friends seinfeld E r

0:11:23.559 --> 0:11:26.520
<v Speaker 3>Night and back in the day. So he would come

0:11:26.559 --> 0:11:28.720
<v Speaker 3>over every Thursday and I would I was like such

0:11:28.760 --> 0:11:33.200
<v Speaker 3>a little beach. I was like, listen, go to chicken kitchen,

0:11:33.559 --> 0:11:36.360
<v Speaker 3>pick up chicken, come over to my apartment, don't make

0:11:36.400 --> 0:11:38.839
<v Speaker 3>eye contact. I'm very tired. If you want us to

0:11:38.880 --> 0:11:42.640
<v Speaker 3>be friends, fine, sit there, we'll eat chicken. And watch

0:11:42.679 --> 0:11:46.400
<v Speaker 3>Seinfeld and when yours over, get the hell out. I

0:11:46.440 --> 0:11:50.280
<v Speaker 3>mean it, like he must have really liked me. It

0:11:50.320 --> 0:11:52.720
<v Speaker 3>was like that was like my whole attitude, like fine,

0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:54.400
<v Speaker 3>you're a nice guy, we'll be friends.

0:11:54.720 --> 0:11:58.520
<v Speaker 2>Whatever, And then how long until you guys were a couple?

0:11:59.559 --> 0:11:59.800
<v Speaker 4>Well?

0:12:00.000 --> 0:12:02.760
<v Speaker 5>And then then what happened was you know, she was

0:12:03.200 --> 0:12:07.760
<v Speaker 5>still said, still remain friends. And then one day she said,

0:12:07.800 --> 0:12:09.600
<v Speaker 5>why don't you come into the office and look through

0:12:09.600 --> 0:12:10.120
<v Speaker 5>the files?

0:12:11.080 --> 0:12:12.880
<v Speaker 1>Ill girl, you other women?

0:12:13.080 --> 0:12:16.600
<v Speaker 6>And I said, all right, sounds good to me, and.

0:12:16.600 --> 0:12:19.960
<v Speaker 1>I did, yeah, And then what happened. Yeah, I wasn't

0:12:20.040 --> 0:12:22.160
<v Speaker 1>I was not pleased. That was it.

0:12:23.320 --> 0:12:27.120
<v Speaker 3>I was not pleased. Yeah, but it was you know.

0:12:27.160 --> 0:12:28.640
<v Speaker 3>So then he wanted to be fixed up, and I

0:12:28.679 --> 0:12:30.280
<v Speaker 3>was like, what do you want to fixed up? You're

0:12:30.320 --> 0:12:31.880
<v Speaker 3>madly in love with me? What are you what are

0:12:31.920 --> 0:12:36.280
<v Speaker 3>you talking about? Right at the time, I was dating

0:12:36.320 --> 0:12:40.199
<v Speaker 3>this other guy and who it was totally unrequited love.

0:12:40.240 --> 0:12:42.400
<v Speaker 3>I was crazy about him and he was not crazy

0:12:42.400 --> 0:12:45.839
<v Speaker 3>about me. But started to even out a little bit,

0:12:46.240 --> 0:12:51.560
<v Speaker 3>and like one day I saw him and Jeff in

0:12:51.600 --> 0:12:56.720
<v Speaker 3>the same day and I kissed that guy, and then

0:12:56.760 --> 0:13:00.000
<v Speaker 3>I kissed Jeff Wessler and I was like, wait a second,

0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:03.880
<v Speaker 3>and wait a second, wait a second, like Jeff Wessler

0:13:04.840 --> 0:13:10.040
<v Speaker 3>And it was it was like as soon as I

0:13:10.120 --> 0:13:11.960
<v Speaker 3>liked him, and then I then I loved him in

0:13:12.000 --> 0:13:14.720
<v Speaker 3>about three minutes, and about three minutes later I was like,

0:13:15.000 --> 0:13:19.400
<v Speaker 3>where's my ring? And this is gonna have to happen now.

0:13:19.640 --> 0:13:23.199
<v Speaker 1>Sorry, you guys. How old were you when you got married?

0:13:24.559 --> 0:13:25.360
<v Speaker 1>I was thirty.

0:13:25.520 --> 0:13:27.720
<v Speaker 3>I was thirty one when we got married, thirty when

0:13:27.720 --> 0:13:32.600
<v Speaker 3>we got engaged, right, Jeff. And then last question, and

0:13:32.600 --> 0:13:36.599
<v Speaker 3>we'll pivot. What where'd you get married? Marine Beach and

0:13:36.679 --> 0:13:42.959
<v Speaker 3>Yacht Club, New York Outdoors? Uh, And it was not outdoors,

0:13:43.120 --> 0:13:46.600
<v Speaker 3>it was, but it was on the water and it

0:13:46.720 --> 0:13:50.599
<v Speaker 3>was just a million years ago and it was just beautiful.

0:13:50.760 --> 0:13:55.440
<v Speaker 2>Oh beautiful. Well your turn, all right, Well havn't gone.

0:13:56.120 --> 0:13:57.280
<v Speaker 4>I'll let you tell the story.

0:13:57.880 --> 0:13:59.440
<v Speaker 1>Oh, now do you remember the night we met?

0:14:00.240 --> 0:14:01.480
<v Speaker 4>Of course, brother Jimmies.

0:14:01.880 --> 0:14:03.199
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we were Brother Jimmies.

0:14:03.559 --> 0:14:06.480
<v Speaker 2>Anyone who's from New York City or they or went

0:14:06.520 --> 0:14:11.079
<v Speaker 2>to New York City in the nineties early aughts, and

0:14:11.160 --> 0:14:14.560
<v Speaker 2>they call it right, everyone remembers Brother Jimmy's. It was

0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:18.160
<v Speaker 2>like for those who don't know, it's like a beer

0:14:18.200 --> 0:14:20.480
<v Speaker 2>bar through and throw. It's like a barbecue joint. And

0:14:20.520 --> 0:14:26.640
<v Speaker 2>they serve these fish bowls full of like mystery liquids, alcohol,

0:14:26.960 --> 0:14:30.400
<v Speaker 2>one hundred straws coming out, dirty plastic toys inside, and

0:14:30.520 --> 0:14:33.120
<v Speaker 2>like they're designed for lots of people to share them.

0:14:33.520 --> 0:14:34.360
<v Speaker 1>It's so fun.

0:14:34.440 --> 0:14:38.560
<v Speaker 2>They play like great you know, classic rock, great music.

0:14:38.800 --> 0:14:41.360
<v Speaker 2>And I was there on a Thursday with my best

0:14:41.360 --> 0:14:43.400
<v Speaker 2>friend at the time, who's still one of my closest friends,

0:14:43.520 --> 0:14:47.600
<v Speaker 2>and uh, and I saw Evan. The funny thing is

0:14:47.640 --> 0:14:51.000
<v Speaker 2>that he was where. Evan's the biggest Jets fan ever.

0:14:51.200 --> 0:14:53.240
<v Speaker 2>Do you know we named one of our children after

0:14:53.280 --> 0:14:56.400
<v Speaker 2>the Jets. Middle name is Jet. And he was wearing

0:14:56.400 --> 0:14:59.440
<v Speaker 2>a Giant's hat and I always ask him, why were

0:14:59.440 --> 0:15:02.400
<v Speaker 2>you wearing a Gian Evan? Why are wearing a joint set?

0:15:03.720 --> 0:15:07.600
<v Speaker 7>Because every team, if I wear their their hat or

0:15:07.600 --> 0:15:10.000
<v Speaker 7>their shirt, I bring bad luck to it. And I

0:15:10.000 --> 0:15:11.840
<v Speaker 7>have a lot of shot in Freuda in my life

0:15:11.920 --> 0:15:14.040
<v Speaker 7>as being a Jet fan. Any team that wins, I'm

0:15:14.120 --> 0:15:16.880
<v Speaker 7>jealous of the thing with brother Jimmy's. By the way,

0:15:16.920 --> 0:15:19.200
<v Speaker 7>if you think about it, it's like the exact opposite

0:15:19.240 --> 0:15:22.040
<v Speaker 7>of it's just lunch you go to It's just lunch

0:15:22.120 --> 0:15:23.800
<v Speaker 7>to find somebody that you could fall in love.

0:15:23.720 --> 0:15:27.240
<v Speaker 1>Right, I know where you can see Jimmy's like out.

0:15:27.120 --> 0:15:29.680
<v Speaker 4>You know, find somebody for the night. That's the intention.

0:15:29.960 --> 0:15:31.320
<v Speaker 4>You don't expect to find your wife.

0:15:32.000 --> 0:15:32.240
<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

0:15:32.760 --> 0:15:36.360
<v Speaker 2>So I was actually sitting at the bar with my

0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:38.800
<v Speaker 2>friend Hannah because we used to go every Thursday night

0:15:38.840 --> 0:15:40.520
<v Speaker 2>we had we were friends at the bartender and the

0:15:40.520 --> 0:15:46.840
<v Speaker 2>staff there, and she wanted to or or something from

0:15:46.840 --> 0:15:48.880
<v Speaker 2>the menu. So I made eye contact with Evan. But

0:15:48.960 --> 0:15:51.800
<v Speaker 2>I was not in the best headspace at that time.

0:15:52.040 --> 0:15:56.400
<v Speaker 2>I was, you know, I was anorexic. I was not

0:15:56.880 --> 0:16:01.080
<v Speaker 2>like very secure, you know, and I I saw him,

0:16:01.080 --> 0:16:03.040
<v Speaker 2>and I thought that guy will never like me.

0:16:03.120 --> 0:16:03.680
<v Speaker 1>And I hate that.

0:16:03.680 --> 0:16:06.080
<v Speaker 2>That's my first thought that when I saw and my

0:16:06.120 --> 0:16:09.720
<v Speaker 2>first impression is that guy would never like me. But anyway,

0:16:09.880 --> 0:16:12.640
<v Speaker 2>so she's looking through the men and you, and then

0:16:12.680 --> 0:16:14.960
<v Speaker 2>I hear a voice behind my shoulder and he says,

0:16:16.840 --> 0:16:19.360
<v Speaker 2>I hear the filet mignon is delicious. And I turned

0:16:19.360 --> 0:16:21.280
<v Speaker 2>around and it was him, and I was just so

0:16:21.320 --> 0:16:23.000
<v Speaker 2>shocked that he came over to talk to us.

0:16:23.040 --> 0:16:26.760
<v Speaker 1>But it was very very smooth, that's very cute. It

0:16:26.960 --> 0:16:27.480
<v Speaker 1>was cute.

0:16:27.560 --> 0:16:30.480
<v Speaker 2>And then from there we went so our first date,

0:16:30.520 --> 0:16:33.800
<v Speaker 2>he took me to a Mexican restaurant and I marry Anne.

0:16:34.720 --> 0:16:36.920
<v Speaker 2>So I was in a phase of not eating. No,

0:16:37.120 --> 0:16:39.520
<v Speaker 2>what was it called it went away? It's called Zerella.

0:16:40.280 --> 0:16:42.280
<v Speaker 4>It was called Zerella. It's charming.

0:16:42.600 --> 0:16:43.600
<v Speaker 1>We had our first day there.

0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:45.760
<v Speaker 2>He ordered an appetizer for us to share and it

0:16:45.800 --> 0:16:50.680
<v Speaker 2>was fried and I had a very long internal struggle

0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:52.920
<v Speaker 2>over whether to eat the fried food and let the

0:16:52.920 --> 0:16:55.960
<v Speaker 2>guy think I was normal, or not eat the fried

0:16:56.000 --> 0:16:58.360
<v Speaker 2>food and stick to my diet. So that's what I

0:16:58.400 --> 0:17:01.440
<v Speaker 2>took away from our first date. But we ended up.

0:17:01.800 --> 0:17:05.920
<v Speaker 2>He decided to stay for the craye and we ended up.

0:17:06.320 --> 0:17:08.960
<v Speaker 2>I think our third date we had drinks at just

0:17:09.000 --> 0:17:10.720
<v Speaker 2>like your four Seasons day we had. We had drinks

0:17:10.720 --> 0:17:13.400
<v Speaker 2>that the man's are in, and that's where we kind

0:17:13.440 --> 0:17:16.720
<v Speaker 2>of like, we're like, this is this is something real?

0:17:16.920 --> 0:17:18.280
<v Speaker 4>Well, the second date was good too.

0:17:18.400 --> 0:17:21.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, the second date was good too, But the third date.

0:17:21.280 --> 0:17:23.640
<v Speaker 4>Was yeah, that was good. What was your third date?

0:17:24.000 --> 0:17:25.920
<v Speaker 1>What did you think when you saw her?

0:17:27.680 --> 0:17:30.320
<v Speaker 7>I don't remember my first impression, but obviously if I

0:17:30.320 --> 0:17:32.400
<v Speaker 7>went up to her, I was attracted to her.

0:17:32.680 --> 0:17:34.439
<v Speaker 4>I have to be honest, like, at that point in

0:17:34.440 --> 0:17:35.480
<v Speaker 4>my life. It was.

0:17:36.840 --> 0:17:39.240
<v Speaker 7>It was late two thousand and three. I had been

0:17:40.280 --> 0:17:42.600
<v Speaker 7>drinking a lot for a long time. You're kind of

0:17:42.640 --> 0:17:45.040
<v Speaker 7>like that stage in your life where you're twenty nine

0:17:45.119 --> 0:17:48.760
<v Speaker 7>years old and I just saw something that I liked

0:17:49.000 --> 0:17:52.480
<v Speaker 7>started talking to her, but you know, I was I

0:17:52.520 --> 0:17:55.800
<v Speaker 7>was drunk. I came straight from the gym. I think

0:17:55.840 --> 0:17:58.240
<v Speaker 7>I had my gym bag with me too. I was

0:17:58.280 --> 0:18:03.480
<v Speaker 7>wearing that stupid giants hat. But I obviously liked her physically,

0:18:04.000 --> 0:18:06.720
<v Speaker 7>and then getting to talk with her was even.

0:18:07.080 --> 0:18:08.960
<v Speaker 2>One last story about that night, and then we'll move

0:18:09.000 --> 0:18:12.000
<v Speaker 2>on to Valentine's Day. But so Evan said to Evan

0:18:12.280 --> 0:18:14.400
<v Speaker 2>values his sleep a lot more than I do. I'm

0:18:14.400 --> 0:18:16.920
<v Speaker 2>not a big sleeper. Evan is a big sleeper. And

0:18:17.040 --> 0:18:20.680
<v Speaker 2>so he said to me at a back out eleven

0:18:20.760 --> 0:18:22.240
<v Speaker 2>thirty or right with it.

0:18:22.240 --> 0:18:26.200
<v Speaker 1>About eleven thirty, he said, midnight.

0:18:26.359 --> 0:18:29.560
<v Speaker 2>It was really midnight, and I used to go out

0:18:29.640 --> 0:18:32.119
<v Speaker 2>until like two in the morning. So he said to me, listen,

0:18:32.720 --> 0:18:34.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to tell my buddies that I'm going to

0:18:34.480 --> 0:18:37.919
<v Speaker 2>grab a slice of pizza and then come back. But

0:18:38.040 --> 0:18:39.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to tell you the truth. I'm going home

0:18:39.880 --> 0:18:42.200
<v Speaker 2>because i want to go to sleep. So he took

0:18:42.240 --> 0:18:45.840
<v Speaker 2>my number whatever, we exchange information, and then he left.

0:18:46.000 --> 0:18:46.680
<v Speaker 1>And then one of.

0:18:46.600 --> 0:18:49.680
<v Speaker 2>His friends comes up to me, like fifteen minutes later,

0:18:49.680 --> 0:18:51.119
<v Speaker 2>and he goes, listen, I got bad news for you.

0:18:51.119 --> 0:18:52.920
<v Speaker 2>I hope you didn't like that guy, because I think

0:18:53.040 --> 0:18:55.959
<v Speaker 2>I think he gohested you. I think he left. And

0:18:56.000 --> 0:18:58.120
<v Speaker 2>I said, oh, no, I know he's not coming back.

0:18:58.160 --> 0:18:59.600
<v Speaker 2>I think he lied to you, not to me. And

0:18:59.640 --> 0:19:01.520
<v Speaker 2>he's like, no, no, no, I think he lied to you, and

0:19:01.560 --> 0:19:02.560
<v Speaker 2>I said, no, no, no, I.

0:19:02.600 --> 0:19:03.280
<v Speaker 1>Think he lied to you.

0:19:03.320 --> 0:19:06.440
<v Speaker 2>Anyway, he never came back, but he did call.

0:19:07.080 --> 0:19:07.840
<v Speaker 1>Well listen.

0:19:08.240 --> 0:19:11.040
<v Speaker 3>That says a lot Jack, because back in the day,

0:19:11.080 --> 0:19:12.720
<v Speaker 3>at that age of some guy said that to me,

0:19:12.760 --> 0:19:16.280
<v Speaker 3>I would have been like, all right over, not interested.

0:19:16.920 --> 0:19:19.440
<v Speaker 1>No, I was so interested. I knew.

0:19:19.480 --> 0:19:29.439
<v Speaker 2>I knew my mother would like this one. Tell me

0:19:29.440 --> 0:19:31.680
<v Speaker 2>about your first Do you remember your first Valentine's Day?

0:19:32.480 --> 0:19:36.119
<v Speaker 1>No? Do you know? Really had no idea.

0:19:37.480 --> 0:19:39.480
<v Speaker 2>I remember ours. We went to a place I don't

0:19:39.480 --> 0:19:41.320
<v Speaker 2>know if it's still around. It started with a p

0:19:41.520 --> 0:19:42.120
<v Speaker 2>what was it called?

0:19:42.119 --> 0:19:45.320
<v Speaker 4>It called public? It was down. I think it was

0:19:45.320 --> 0:19:47.480
<v Speaker 4>probably like in the East village or around there.

0:19:47.600 --> 0:19:50.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and I wore this pretty flowery dress. I was

0:19:50.640 --> 0:19:51.480
<v Speaker 1>so excited.

0:19:52.000 --> 0:19:54.200
<v Speaker 2>I don't think i'd ever really had like a real

0:19:54.320 --> 0:19:59.120
<v Speaker 2>proper Valentine's Day college my college boyfriends, but not really

0:19:59.119 --> 0:19:59.920
<v Speaker 2>like an exciting bound.

0:20:00.200 --> 0:20:04.080
<v Speaker 7>I remember my first male Valentine's Day. Jeff would appreciate

0:20:04.119 --> 0:20:05.520
<v Speaker 7>that men's.

0:20:05.320 --> 0:20:08.840
<v Speaker 1>Valentine's Day steaking a blow What is a male Valentine's Day.

0:20:08.840 --> 0:20:11.720
<v Speaker 1>I don't know a male Valentine it's like.

0:20:13.160 --> 0:20:13.560
<v Speaker 4>Every year.

0:20:13.800 --> 0:20:14.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I never heard of.

0:20:14.640 --> 0:20:16.679
<v Speaker 2>That, Jeff, of you, I'm not writing it down in

0:20:16.720 --> 0:20:19.560
<v Speaker 2>my calendar. It's a steaking a blowjob.

0:20:19.240 --> 0:20:21.439
<v Speaker 6>In March twenty third.

0:20:22.800 --> 0:20:25.520
<v Speaker 4>That I remember very well. We want the sparks, and then.

0:20:25.680 --> 0:20:29.240
<v Speaker 1>Excuse me, the listening public doesn't need to know.

0:20:29.160 --> 0:20:31.960
<v Speaker 4>That talking about the Sparks was the steakhouse.

0:20:32.640 --> 0:20:34.960
<v Speaker 1>No, I live right down the street from Sparks forty

0:20:34.960 --> 0:20:37.359
<v Speaker 1>six and second, Yeah, that's.

0:20:37.200 --> 0:20:40.160
<v Speaker 2>Where so there was like a big mafia murder there right, Yeah,

0:20:40.240 --> 0:20:41.199
<v Speaker 2>outside Sparks.

0:20:41.280 --> 0:20:43.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, very old school for people.

0:20:43.440 --> 0:20:46.360
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god, I just all those those days seem

0:20:46.520 --> 0:20:50.080
<v Speaker 3>so long ago. Liked, right, we're making it up because

0:20:50.960 --> 0:20:53.760
<v Speaker 3>it just I just picturing that street and Jeff and

0:20:53.800 --> 0:20:55.520
<v Speaker 3>I hanging out. I had this apartment that was like

0:20:55.720 --> 0:20:58.000
<v Speaker 3>the size of I don't have a room small enough

0:20:58.000 --> 0:21:00.359
<v Speaker 3>in my house to show you how small it was.

0:21:00.359 --> 0:21:03.520
<v Speaker 3>It paced a brick wall and it was a teeny

0:21:03.560 --> 0:21:07.600
<v Speaker 3>tiny little studio. And I kept like in the underwear

0:21:07.640 --> 0:21:09.280
<v Speaker 3>in the city forty six and second, I kept my

0:21:09.320 --> 0:21:12.600
<v Speaker 3>underwear under a drawer, in a drawer under my bed,

0:21:12.800 --> 0:21:15.600
<v Speaker 3>like something I would pull out. Jeff Fessler thought that

0:21:15.640 --> 0:21:16.680
<v Speaker 3>he saved me.

0:21:16.920 --> 0:21:17.560
<v Speaker 1>He had this.

0:21:18.280 --> 0:21:22.400
<v Speaker 3>Apartment in Gottenburg, New Jersey. So right, so he bought

0:21:22.400 --> 0:21:25.280
<v Speaker 3>this apartment in this place called the Galaxy, this high

0:21:25.359 --> 0:21:29.199
<v Speaker 3>rise views of the city, and he thought that he

0:21:29.320 --> 0:21:31.840
<v Speaker 3>was saving me from this little cell that I lived in.

0:21:31.960 --> 0:21:35.960
<v Speaker 1>Meanwhile, loved it. I loved it. I loved having my

0:21:36.040 --> 0:21:38.159
<v Speaker 1>own own little space. Was the person I had.

0:21:38.359 --> 0:21:41.120
<v Speaker 3>I lived with roommates for years, so it was like mine.

0:21:41.160 --> 0:21:44.720
<v Speaker 3>It was my own apartment, and it was just there

0:21:44.760 --> 0:21:46.240
<v Speaker 3>was a doorman, it was safe.

0:21:46.400 --> 0:21:46.919
<v Speaker 1>I felt.

0:21:47.080 --> 0:21:49.399
<v Speaker 3>I just loved living there. And to this day he

0:21:49.600 --> 0:21:52.679
<v Speaker 3>just is like, I rescued you. I'm like, no, I

0:21:52.720 --> 0:21:56.280
<v Speaker 3>rescued you, Okay, well did you move in?

0:21:56.400 --> 0:21:57.240
<v Speaker 1>So you moved in with.

0:21:57.240 --> 0:22:03.560
<v Speaker 3>Him once we got engaged. Yes, yes, that's I was

0:22:03.560 --> 0:22:06.360
<v Speaker 3>actually doing it. I was like, I really wanted that ring.

0:22:06.800 --> 0:22:08.880
<v Speaker 3>So I was like, listen, I would never ever live

0:22:08.880 --> 0:22:11.520
<v Speaker 3>with a guy before I was engaged, like just trying

0:22:11.520 --> 0:22:12.119
<v Speaker 3>to pull everything.

0:22:12.200 --> 0:22:14.520
<v Speaker 2>Well, I think you need to by the way, I

0:22:14.520 --> 0:22:16.919
<v Speaker 2>would advocate for that. I think that you need to

0:22:17.040 --> 0:22:18.080
<v Speaker 2>know if you can.

0:22:18.000 --> 0:22:22.760
<v Speaker 3>Live with somebody well before engagement, well together, what maybe

0:22:22.840 --> 0:22:24.680
<v Speaker 3>after engagement you can always.

0:22:24.480 --> 0:22:26.760
<v Speaker 1>Break off and engage. Do you guys work together?

0:22:27.520 --> 0:22:29.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you're gonna spend all that money on a ring

0:22:29.840 --> 0:22:30.720
<v Speaker 2>for somebody that you don't know.

0:22:30.720 --> 0:22:35.800
<v Speaker 1>If you can live with. I mean, yeah, I guess, yeah,

0:22:35.920 --> 0:22:36.600
<v Speaker 1>I don't know.

0:22:36.720 --> 0:22:41.640
<v Speaker 2>I would advocate for it, but yeah, we we lived together. Well,

0:22:42.119 --> 0:22:44.840
<v Speaker 2>you know, it was like a matter of like like

0:22:44.960 --> 0:22:47.639
<v Speaker 2>our leases running out kind of thing, and like what

0:22:47.680 --> 0:22:48.120
<v Speaker 2>do you do?

0:22:48.119 --> 0:22:49.320
<v Speaker 1>Do you re sign for another year?

0:22:49.359 --> 0:22:52.280
<v Speaker 2>We'd already been dating for six months, you know, so

0:22:52.359 --> 0:22:55.200
<v Speaker 2>do you wait or seven months? Do you wait another year?

0:22:55.640 --> 0:22:58.280
<v Speaker 2>You know at our age, we were already Yeah.

0:22:58.800 --> 0:23:04.000
<v Speaker 3>We engaged. It happened very quickly. Once it happened, like

0:23:04.760 --> 0:23:06.880
<v Speaker 3>I was ready. I wanted to get knocked up before

0:23:06.920 --> 0:23:10.199
<v Speaker 3>a while. I wanted to nail him in. I was like, really,

0:23:10.440 --> 0:23:12.399
<v Speaker 3>oh my god, Like once I realized because I was

0:23:12.440 --> 0:23:16.920
<v Speaker 3>thirty and I mean I used to have these dreams,

0:23:17.000 --> 0:23:19.320
<v Speaker 3>these baby dreams where I would wake up and just

0:23:19.359 --> 0:23:21.920
<v Speaker 3>be so upset that the baby wasn't there, like these

0:23:21.960 --> 0:23:28.320
<v Speaker 3>really maternal yeah, like the it really my biological clock

0:23:28.400 --> 0:23:28.840
<v Speaker 3>was loud.

0:23:29.440 --> 0:23:32.960
<v Speaker 1>And so once we got engaged, I was like, let's

0:23:32.960 --> 0:23:34.840
<v Speaker 1>do this. Let's go. I wanted done.

0:23:34.880 --> 0:23:37.240
<v Speaker 3>Now, let's go. And then we got married and he's like, well,

0:23:37.280 --> 0:23:40.560
<v Speaker 3>can we travel a little this is all happening. I

0:23:40.600 --> 0:23:42.560
<v Speaker 3>was like, no, we have to get pregnant now, like

0:23:42.600 --> 0:23:46.479
<v Speaker 3>we got pregnant fast everything. Once I knew that it

0:23:46.520 --> 0:23:50.000
<v Speaker 3>was going to be Jeff, I was like, make this

0:23:50.080 --> 0:23:50.600
<v Speaker 3>happen well.

0:23:50.600 --> 0:23:52.120
<v Speaker 1>Evan and I were like, let's travel.

0:23:52.240 --> 0:23:54.720
<v Speaker 2>And then it's funny because we got married in August

0:23:54.800 --> 0:23:57.280
<v Speaker 2>of six, right, so February of seven, just a few

0:23:57.320 --> 0:23:59.359
<v Speaker 2>months later, we go on vacation and we had planned

0:23:59.400 --> 0:24:01.960
<v Speaker 2>to like wait a little bit before having kids because

0:24:02.000 --> 0:24:06.119
<v Speaker 2>I had just turned thirty and I wasn't in a

0:24:06.200 --> 0:24:06.760
<v Speaker 2>huge rush.

0:24:06.760 --> 0:24:07.639
<v Speaker 1>I was a young lawyer.

0:24:07.880 --> 0:24:12.720
<v Speaker 2>And we go to Mexico and I'm laying at the

0:24:12.760 --> 0:24:16.000
<v Speaker 2>pool and there's this old lady laying next to me

0:24:16.480 --> 0:24:19.679
<v Speaker 2>and we start talking and she says to me, she

0:24:19.760 --> 0:24:21.520
<v Speaker 2>goes and I told her that I just got married

0:24:21.520 --> 0:24:23.600
<v Speaker 2>a few months ago, she says, when are you going

0:24:23.640 --> 0:24:25.520
<v Speaker 2>to try to have a baby. I said, no, We're

0:24:25.560 --> 0:24:27.639
<v Speaker 2>going to travel a little first, and she was Adam

0:24:27.680 --> 0:24:32.560
<v Speaker 2>and she was like, no, do not wait. She actually

0:24:32.600 --> 0:24:35.400
<v Speaker 2>happened to live even though I met her in Mexico,

0:24:35.560 --> 0:24:37.480
<v Speaker 2>she happened to live a few blocks from me in

0:24:37.520 --> 0:24:39.560
<v Speaker 2>the city. She was like one of these long time

0:24:39.680 --> 0:24:42.399
<v Speaker 2>Upper West Siders. Side note. I stayed in touch with

0:24:42.440 --> 0:24:45.360
<v Speaker 2>her forever until she passed away about two years ago.

0:24:45.560 --> 0:24:47.000
<v Speaker 1>And her name was Lois.

0:24:47.119 --> 0:24:49.280
<v Speaker 2>She was lovely, but she was like one hundred years old,

0:24:49.520 --> 0:24:51.479
<v Speaker 2>and she was like, no, don't wait, you might have

0:24:51.520 --> 0:24:52.640
<v Speaker 2>trouble getting pregnant.

0:24:52.640 --> 0:24:53.280
<v Speaker 1>You never know.

0:24:53.760 --> 0:24:56.800
<v Speaker 2>She gave me the name of a doctor and I

0:24:56.920 --> 0:24:59.480
<v Speaker 2>left the pool and I said to Evan, we need

0:24:59.520 --> 0:24:59.960
<v Speaker 2>to get fred.

0:25:00.000 --> 0:25:02.600
<v Speaker 1>I didn't now, we need to go see this doctor now.

0:25:02.720 --> 0:25:06.440
<v Speaker 2>I literally made the appointment from Mexico, went as soon

0:25:06.480 --> 0:25:09.199
<v Speaker 2>as we came home, and we ended up using that

0:25:09.240 --> 0:25:11.320
<v Speaker 2>doctor and I ended up having problems. So it was

0:25:11.359 --> 0:25:14.080
<v Speaker 2>good that we went. But you know, whatever trajectory brought

0:25:14.160 --> 0:25:16.359
<v Speaker 2>us to having the children that we have was the

0:25:16.440 --> 0:25:20.080
<v Speaker 2>right one one. But we did intend to travel a

0:25:20.119 --> 0:25:22.159
<v Speaker 2>little bit more. I don't think everyone was thrilled with

0:25:22.240 --> 0:25:22.679
<v Speaker 2>the timing.

0:25:23.240 --> 0:25:27.440
<v Speaker 3>Well, I mean it was all bad that not as

0:25:27.520 --> 0:25:30.399
<v Speaker 3>it wasn't as long go as it was longer for

0:25:30.520 --> 0:25:32.720
<v Speaker 3>us than it is for you guys. My point is

0:25:32.720 --> 0:25:36.960
<v Speaker 3>that like that time seems so it was so fabulous

0:25:37.000 --> 0:25:41.679
<v Speaker 3>and fun and exciting and just feels like another life,

0:25:41.720 --> 0:25:43.399
<v Speaker 3>like we have one that we talked about. You know,

0:25:43.400 --> 0:25:44.920
<v Speaker 3>we talk about what we're going to talk about before

0:25:44.920 --> 0:25:46.399
<v Speaker 3>we actually talk about it here on the pod. So

0:25:46.920 --> 0:25:48.960
<v Speaker 3>we said, you know, would you change anything about your wedding?

0:25:48.960 --> 0:25:51.280
<v Speaker 1>That's one of the questions here, right, Yeah, would you

0:25:51.359 --> 0:25:52.840
<v Speaker 1>change anything about our wedding?

0:25:53.400 --> 0:25:56.119
<v Speaker 4>Yes? I would have done a destination wedding.

0:25:56.800 --> 0:25:59.680
<v Speaker 2>Really, Oh, I don't think I would with like.

0:25:59.160 --> 0:26:03.119
<v Speaker 7>Like four people and then and then God, just because

0:26:03.160 --> 0:26:05.879
<v Speaker 7>it's I feel like a wedding is done on behalf

0:26:05.920 --> 0:26:08.720
<v Speaker 7>of other people and it's just you don't have to,

0:26:09.040 --> 0:26:10.560
<v Speaker 7>you know, you don't have to have a huge wedding

0:26:10.640 --> 0:26:13.000
<v Speaker 7>to kind of prove your love for somebody else and

0:26:13.040 --> 0:26:15.520
<v Speaker 7>to do all that work, which you did most of it,

0:26:15.680 --> 0:26:19.840
<v Speaker 7>like ninety nine percent of it, of finding the flowers,

0:26:19.880 --> 0:26:23.600
<v Speaker 7>finding the band, finding everything, and then narrowing it down

0:26:23.640 --> 0:26:26.919
<v Speaker 7>to like the three of which I helped choose. I

0:26:26.960 --> 0:26:28.640
<v Speaker 7>just think it's a lot of work and a lot

0:26:28.640 --> 0:26:31.520
<v Speaker 7>of money for something that you know, the marriage would

0:26:31.640 --> 0:26:33.639
<v Speaker 7>be just as strong and you'd have maybe even a

0:26:33.680 --> 0:26:36.200
<v Speaker 7>better experience if you'd gotten somewhere.

0:26:35.920 --> 0:26:36.600
<v Speaker 4>Exotic to get.

0:26:36.960 --> 0:26:38.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but then you have a video.

0:26:39.280 --> 0:26:39.960
<v Speaker 4>Yeah exactly.

0:26:40.119 --> 0:26:40.840
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to see that.

0:26:44.480 --> 0:26:47.440
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, the the first first song.

0:26:47.640 --> 0:26:50.440
<v Speaker 1>But for first dance, why what was it?

0:26:52.000 --> 0:26:57.520
<v Speaker 6>What was it? It was? It was the Carpenters. We've

0:26:57.520 --> 0:26:58.359
<v Speaker 6>only just begun.

0:26:59.200 --> 0:27:00.359
<v Speaker 1>Oh I love that song.

0:27:00.440 --> 0:27:02.120
<v Speaker 2>Why would you change it?

0:27:02.280 --> 0:27:02.440
<v Speaker 4>Oh?

0:27:03.080 --> 0:27:04.840
<v Speaker 1>Dance? Oh yeah, the first dance.

0:27:06.800 --> 0:27:08.240
<v Speaker 4>Effects at last.

0:27:10.400 --> 0:27:13.040
<v Speaker 2>We had through the years, ironic because we had only

0:27:13.119 --> 0:27:14.320
<v Speaker 2>known each other for like two years.

0:27:14.400 --> 0:27:17.679
<v Speaker 3>We wanted he wanted it last, And looking back, I

0:27:17.720 --> 0:27:20.760
<v Speaker 3>hate our wedding song. I chose it because some girl

0:27:20.760 --> 0:27:23.920
<v Speaker 3>who worked it. It's just lunch who was at our wedding,

0:27:23.920 --> 0:27:25.080
<v Speaker 3>but she said, you know what would be a great

0:27:25.400 --> 0:27:27.480
<v Speaker 3>I always wanted this would be the best wedding song.

0:27:27.520 --> 0:27:30.920
<v Speaker 3>And I was like, yeah, okay, And like, looking back,

0:27:31.000 --> 0:27:33.159
<v Speaker 3>it just was not the right choice. But yeah, we

0:27:33.160 --> 0:27:34.919
<v Speaker 3>always laugh about it when it last comes on.

0:27:35.359 --> 0:27:39.400
<v Speaker 2>So we were going to we were going to coordinate

0:27:39.440 --> 0:27:44.000
<v Speaker 2>a dance for our first for our first dance, and

0:27:44.080 --> 0:27:48.040
<v Speaker 2>we went to a dance school together and I am

0:27:48.080 --> 0:27:51.639
<v Speaker 2>not a very good dancer at all. And we had

0:27:51.640 --> 0:27:52.879
<v Speaker 2>a lovely relationship.

0:27:52.920 --> 0:27:54.000
<v Speaker 1>Evan and I were.

0:27:53.840 --> 0:27:58.840
<v Speaker 2>Like deeply, madly in love and never ever fought. We

0:27:58.920 --> 0:28:03.119
<v Speaker 2>still hardly ever find And we went to dance school

0:28:03.240 --> 0:28:06.560
<v Speaker 2>and had the biggest fight, like we just hated every

0:28:06.600 --> 0:28:07.240
<v Speaker 2>second of it.

0:28:07.320 --> 0:28:12.159
<v Speaker 1>Do you remember, Oh my god, I can't believe you

0:28:12.160 --> 0:28:14.000
<v Speaker 1>guys did that. That was so bad.

0:28:14.400 --> 0:28:17.400
<v Speaker 2>We could we just could not coordinate and we had

0:28:17.400 --> 0:28:19.600
<v Speaker 2>a big fight and we were like, you know what,

0:28:19.600 --> 0:28:23.040
<v Speaker 2>I forget it. We'll just generically dance. So I was

0:28:23.080 --> 0:28:25.240
<v Speaker 2>saying we did through the Years as our first dance,

0:28:25.280 --> 0:28:27.160
<v Speaker 2>which is ironic.

0:28:26.760 --> 0:28:28.840
<v Speaker 1>Because that's also one of my absolute faces. I know.

0:28:28.880 --> 0:28:30.600
<v Speaker 2>But we had only known each other for two years,

0:28:30.600 --> 0:28:31.239
<v Speaker 2>so what through what?

0:28:31.320 --> 0:28:32.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's a thing. I know. It's more of an

0:28:32.800 --> 0:28:35.399
<v Speaker 1>anniversary song were we talking about, you know?

0:28:35.520 --> 0:28:37.720
<v Speaker 2>So the thing I would change about our wedding is

0:28:37.720 --> 0:28:39.600
<v Speaker 2>that there were just so many people there that I

0:28:39.640 --> 0:28:42.120
<v Speaker 2>didn't know and that Evan didn't know. Actually, I remember

0:28:42.160 --> 0:28:45.200
<v Speaker 2>sitting at our dais and somebody came over to congratulate us,

0:28:45.440 --> 0:28:47.120
<v Speaker 2>and when they walked away, I said to Evan, who

0:28:47.200 --> 0:28:48.680
<v Speaker 2>is that? And he goes, I don't know, they're on

0:28:48.720 --> 0:28:50.960
<v Speaker 2>your side. I said, no, no, they're on your side.

0:28:51.160 --> 0:28:54.080
<v Speaker 2>We had no idea who happen people there were, so I.

0:28:54.000 --> 0:28:57.360
<v Speaker 3>Feel like we we did, I mean, well like you though, Jackie.

0:28:57.400 --> 0:28:59.800
<v Speaker 3>I was in the throes of an eating disorder at

0:28:59.800 --> 0:29:02.080
<v Speaker 3>the time time, So I do if there's also something

0:29:02.080 --> 0:29:05.200
<v Speaker 3>I would change, Like I could not eat that cake,

0:29:05.400 --> 0:29:07.440
<v Speaker 3>no way, and that was like a whole weird thing.

0:29:07.440 --> 0:29:10.080
<v Speaker 3>And I brought along my own food to my own wedding. Yeah,

0:29:10.320 --> 0:29:13.760
<v Speaker 3>so yeah, like that's what I changed that. I don't

0:29:13.760 --> 0:29:15.200
<v Speaker 3>know would I change anything at all?

0:29:15.280 --> 0:29:16.040
<v Speaker 1>Let us hear so.

0:29:16.840 --> 0:29:20.959
<v Speaker 3>But okay, so let's talk about what has changed though

0:29:21.000 --> 0:29:24.520
<v Speaker 3>over the years in terms of you guys, go first,

0:29:24.600 --> 0:29:27.360
<v Speaker 3>So go first. Do you still do you still do

0:29:27.480 --> 0:29:28.600
<v Speaker 3>like romantic stuff?

0:29:28.640 --> 0:29:32.240
<v Speaker 2>How do you keep your like your love like kind

0:29:32.240 --> 0:29:34.440
<v Speaker 2>of like exciting and romantic?

0:29:36.040 --> 0:29:38.760
<v Speaker 1>Jeff Essler, I'll let you answer. Be you still celebrate,

0:29:39.920 --> 0:29:40.480
<v Speaker 1>Let's start with that.

0:29:42.280 --> 0:29:46.280
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, I'd buy cards, get her some chocolates.

0:29:48.040 --> 0:29:50.480
<v Speaker 1>I'll tell them about the chocolates. I don't like flowers either.

0:29:52.240 --> 0:29:55.400
<v Speaker 3>Not weird, but also all I ever wanted growing up

0:29:55.520 --> 0:29:57.400
<v Speaker 3>was a little girl was like one of those big

0:29:57.520 --> 0:30:01.400
<v Speaker 3>pink heart shaped boxes chocolate from CBS, like a Russell

0:30:01.480 --> 0:30:05.000
<v Speaker 3>Stoffers with the bows. So he that's like all I

0:30:05.040 --> 0:30:07.120
<v Speaker 3>ever wanted was some was a boy to bring me.

0:30:07.360 --> 0:30:10.400
<v Speaker 2>Well, Aiden's girlfriends about it home, true, because that's what

0:30:10.440 --> 0:30:10.760
<v Speaker 2>I got.

0:30:12.920 --> 0:30:15.600
<v Speaker 1>I love that. So are you That's what I want? Yeah?

0:30:15.640 --> 0:30:17.640
<v Speaker 1>Do you do anything? No, we don't do much. I

0:30:17.640 --> 0:30:21.200
<v Speaker 1>mean like McCard it gets me, okay, yeah.

0:30:21.120 --> 0:30:24.200
<v Speaker 6>Get yeah, cards, chocolate's.

0:30:24.800 --> 0:30:28.040
<v Speaker 1>We go out to dinner. We did for a long time. No,

0:30:28.240 --> 0:30:29.320
<v Speaker 1>we really do a long time.

0:30:29.520 --> 0:30:31.800
<v Speaker 6>I don't think we ever we did. I don't think

0:30:31.800 --> 0:30:32.320
<v Speaker 6>we ever did.

0:30:32.680 --> 0:30:34.680
<v Speaker 2>I mean it's just hard now because like most of

0:30:34.760 --> 0:30:37.120
<v Speaker 2>the time it's on a weeknight. This year it happens

0:30:37.160 --> 0:30:39.160
<v Speaker 2>to be on a Friday night. But even on this

0:30:39.280 --> 0:30:42.640
<v Speaker 2>Friday night, like our older boys have a game at seven,

0:30:43.240 --> 0:30:46.840
<v Speaker 2>and then Alexis wants to go to dinner with her

0:30:46.960 --> 0:30:49.240
<v Speaker 2>little boyfriend, and then Aiden wants to go out to

0:30:49.280 --> 0:30:51.280
<v Speaker 2>dinner with his girlfriend after his game.

0:30:51.360 --> 0:30:53.760
<v Speaker 1>So I mean, when are we gonna go? You know,

0:30:53.800 --> 0:30:55.640
<v Speaker 1>I'll hold your hands at the basketball game. What else

0:30:55.640 --> 0:30:56.840
<v Speaker 1>are we gonna do? You know?

0:30:57.000 --> 0:31:00.280
<v Speaker 4>I think that's the best. Yeah, I think that's great, and.

0:31:00.280 --> 0:31:01.680
<v Speaker 2>I think it is what you make it, you know,

0:31:01.720 --> 0:31:03.440
<v Speaker 2>and we could always do it related.

0:31:04.280 --> 0:31:08.560
<v Speaker 3>Well, So these questions that we have also coming you guys,

0:31:08.600 --> 0:31:11.560
<v Speaker 3>are really more about not just Valentine's Day, but like

0:31:11.680 --> 0:31:16.440
<v Speaker 3>relationships are specifically ours and how they've changed over the years.

0:31:16.960 --> 0:31:20.560
<v Speaker 3>And we wrote down a bunch of questions. Jackie actually

0:31:20.600 --> 0:31:22.320
<v Speaker 3>wrote down most of them. I'll give you that credit,

0:31:22.360 --> 0:31:26.040
<v Speaker 3>But like, what do you do to keep the love alive?

0:31:26.960 --> 0:31:30.120
<v Speaker 3>Has the meaning of love changed over the years? How

0:31:30.160 --> 0:31:32.320
<v Speaker 3>often do you talk about your relationship to each other?

0:31:32.880 --> 0:31:36.680
<v Speaker 3>I think those are really good questions because ours, our

0:31:36.720 --> 0:31:39.440
<v Speaker 3>relationship has certainly evolved. We've been through we've been married

0:31:39.640 --> 0:31:41.960
<v Speaker 3>over twenty five years now, so.

0:31:43.480 --> 0:31:44.480
<v Speaker 1>In what ways?

0:31:45.200 --> 0:31:49.560
<v Speaker 3>Well, I mean, whoever watched the Housewives this first season

0:31:49.560 --> 0:31:52.360
<v Speaker 3>I was on, been only on two, but heard me

0:31:52.480 --> 0:31:54.280
<v Speaker 3>talk about the fact that Jeff and I were separated

0:31:54.320 --> 0:31:57.440
<v Speaker 3>for a year and a half. That happened at like

0:31:57.560 --> 0:32:03.560
<v Speaker 3>year seven of our marriage, and for me, I don't

0:32:03.560 --> 0:32:10.200
<v Speaker 3>know that changed things. I'm not recommending this, so whoever's listening,

0:32:10.320 --> 0:32:12.520
<v Speaker 3>I'm not telling you to get separated, but for us,

0:32:13.280 --> 0:32:18.080
<v Speaker 3>I feel like everything changed after that or the better.

0:32:18.240 --> 0:32:19.400
<v Speaker 1>What do you Jeff, do you think.

0:32:21.440 --> 0:32:26.920
<v Speaker 5>You appreciate you You appreciate but you don't have anymore.

0:32:27.160 --> 0:32:30.920
<v Speaker 5>I mean, you appreciate it more because you've lived through

0:32:32.200 --> 0:32:34.320
<v Speaker 5>the fact that you may never have it again and

0:32:34.360 --> 0:32:36.640
<v Speaker 5>then and then you get it back.

0:32:37.840 --> 0:32:38.719
<v Speaker 1>Not many people do.

0:32:38.760 --> 0:32:43.160
<v Speaker 3>We felt very lucky, right, you are very lucky. Yeah, no,

0:32:43.280 --> 0:32:45.680
<v Speaker 3>I know, we really are. I mean we just couldn't

0:32:45.720 --> 0:32:47.640
<v Speaker 3>make it happen. Like we just neither one of us

0:32:47.720 --> 0:32:50.600
<v Speaker 3>really wanted to go to the lawyer. Neither one was

0:32:50.680 --> 0:32:53.320
<v Speaker 3>really wanted to, you know, and Jeff was Jeff so

0:32:53.400 --> 0:32:56.720
<v Speaker 3>like whatever I said, I was like, we would tell

0:32:56.920 --> 0:32:59.400
<v Speaker 3>We would tell the lawyers like I don't care, like

0:32:59.440 --> 0:33:00.920
<v Speaker 3>Jeff will be fair with me, and the lay like,

0:33:00.920 --> 0:33:01.360
<v Speaker 3>oh you don't know.

0:33:01.400 --> 0:33:04.280
<v Speaker 1>That's like, no, no, you don't know. Jeff, Jeff Fessler.

0:33:04.680 --> 0:33:07.200
<v Speaker 3>He's not screwing me and he's not screwing his kids,

0:33:07.480 --> 0:33:10.800
<v Speaker 3>and both we would like try to make an appointment

0:33:10.800 --> 0:33:12.960
<v Speaker 3>to go to the lawyer or the media. We would

0:33:13.000 --> 0:33:15.400
<v Speaker 3>blow it off and go like to Chili's and sit

0:33:15.440 --> 0:33:18.960
<v Speaker 3>and just hang out. We just didn't neither one of us,

0:33:19.000 --> 0:33:20.760
<v Speaker 3>I think, really wanted to get and.

0:33:20.720 --> 0:33:23.560
<v Speaker 2>Did you have to have like a solid conversation like

0:33:24.120 --> 0:33:26.880
<v Speaker 2>let's just, you know, call off the dogs and get

0:33:27.920 --> 0:33:28.920
<v Speaker 2>back together and move back.

0:33:29.200 --> 0:33:31.840
<v Speaker 1>Remember, Jeff, do you remember that, like us deciding to.

0:33:34.480 --> 0:33:37.160
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I think it was when wasn't it when I

0:33:37.240 --> 0:33:41.800
<v Speaker 5>went to the Jamaica with the kids and you went

0:33:41.840 --> 0:33:45.640
<v Speaker 5>to Saint Bart's with my boyfriend?

0:33:46.360 --> 0:33:46.560
<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

0:33:46.960 --> 0:33:47.440
<v Speaker 1>Yes, and.

0:33:49.120 --> 0:33:51.480
<v Speaker 6>Yeah and you and you wanted.

0:33:51.240 --> 0:33:55.200
<v Speaker 3>To exactly I so, yeah, they were at like some

0:33:55.240 --> 0:33:58.640
<v Speaker 3>beaches Jamaica and I was at like the Eden Rock

0:33:58.680 --> 0:34:03.240
<v Speaker 3>and Saint Barts. But it just wasn't right and the

0:34:03.400 --> 0:34:05.360
<v Speaker 3>thought of I don't know, this is really not all

0:34:05.440 --> 0:34:09.000
<v Speaker 3>Valentine's That's okay, it's a material and other people go

0:34:09.040 --> 0:34:12.000
<v Speaker 3>through it, so it's real life couple stuff. And yeah,

0:34:12.040 --> 0:34:16.520
<v Speaker 3>so yeah, I just missed them, and I would have.

0:34:16.600 --> 0:34:20.240
<v Speaker 3>I just wanted to be at whateverever beaches Jamaica, wherever

0:34:20.239 --> 0:34:24.759
<v Speaker 3>they were. Yeah, that was I guess that was the beginning, right, Yeah,

0:34:26.120 --> 0:34:26.640
<v Speaker 3>this is not.

0:34:28.160 --> 0:34:34.000
<v Speaker 1>Just why where were you before? The same town, same town,

0:34:34.080 --> 0:34:36.000
<v Speaker 1>new house, okay, all right?

0:34:36.040 --> 0:34:38.040
<v Speaker 3>And then like although we had so many good memories

0:34:38.080 --> 0:34:40.040
<v Speaker 3>in that the first house, though, like beginning of our

0:34:40.040 --> 0:34:42.880
<v Speaker 3>marriage is like we had a bad marriage. It started

0:34:42.920 --> 0:34:45.640
<v Speaker 3>to disintegrate a little bit. I guess maybe you're six,

0:34:45.800 --> 0:34:47.760
<v Speaker 3>but it's not like we babies.

0:34:47.800 --> 0:34:48.799
<v Speaker 1>It was fun, you know.

0:34:49.000 --> 0:34:51.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Well then I think that's maybe a cautionary tale

0:34:51.640 --> 0:34:53.680
<v Speaker 2>that you have to like keep the level, Like you

0:34:53.760 --> 0:34:55.880
<v Speaker 2>have to communicate, you have to tell each other. So

0:34:55.960 --> 0:34:58.120
<v Speaker 2>Evan and I are big on Evan and I are

0:34:58.120 --> 0:35:00.160
<v Speaker 2>big on telling each other I love you. We we

0:35:00.200 --> 0:35:02.359
<v Speaker 2>say I love you when we get off the phone

0:35:02.360 --> 0:35:05.960
<v Speaker 2>with each other, when we see each other, and good morning,

0:35:06.080 --> 0:35:07.800
<v Speaker 2>like we do. We're a big I love you family.

0:35:07.880 --> 0:35:09.839
<v Speaker 2>We're kind of gushy. One of our sixteen year olds

0:35:09.880 --> 0:35:16.440
<v Speaker 2>is pulling away, but the other ones are all like mushy, gushy.

0:35:14.560 --> 0:35:16.600
<v Speaker 3>R Jeff's not mushy, but the rest of the three

0:35:16.600 --> 0:35:18.640
<v Speaker 3>of us are mushy, so he has no choice.

0:35:20.440 --> 0:35:23.360
<v Speaker 1>No, we've turned Evan into a big mushball. But we

0:35:23.360 --> 0:35:23.799
<v Speaker 1>we do.

0:35:24.880 --> 0:35:26.560
<v Speaker 2>You know, I enjoy like a date night.

0:35:26.600 --> 0:35:28.840
<v Speaker 1>We just don't get many of them. It's hard.

0:35:28.920 --> 0:35:32.359
<v Speaker 2>You have to prioritize that, and we gets a little

0:35:32.360 --> 0:35:35.560
<v Speaker 2>like life gets very overwhelming. Our kids' schedules are crazy,

0:35:35.640 --> 0:35:37.799
<v Speaker 2>and then you have your own shit, right and like

0:35:38.200 --> 0:35:40.600
<v Speaker 2>so you have to carve out these these times and

0:35:40.640 --> 0:35:43.240
<v Speaker 2>these nights to reconnect with each other. We've only had

0:35:44.560 --> 0:35:53.880
<v Speaker 2>like two nights away without kids, like since we've gotten married. Yeah,

0:35:54.000 --> 0:35:56.319
<v Speaker 2>I don't mean like two nights total. I mean like

0:35:56.360 --> 0:35:59.480
<v Speaker 2>two nights in time, maybe like once or twice a year.

0:35:59.719 --> 0:36:00.799
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we'll have.

0:36:00.760 --> 0:36:02.399
<v Speaker 4>A lot of that in a few years, which is great.

0:36:03.640 --> 0:36:04.000
<v Speaker 4>We have.

0:36:06.120 --> 0:36:06.359
<v Speaker 1>Rush.

0:36:06.440 --> 0:36:07.759
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so do what do you guys do? What do

0:36:07.800 --> 0:36:09.640
<v Speaker 2>you do with all that empty nest or time? Is

0:36:09.640 --> 0:36:11.759
<v Speaker 2>it easier now to prioritize each other or is it

0:36:11.800 --> 0:36:13.640
<v Speaker 2>harder without the kids there to kind of like glue

0:36:13.640 --> 0:36:14.400
<v Speaker 2>you together.

0:36:16.800 --> 0:36:17.200
<v Speaker 1>Easier?

0:36:17.200 --> 0:36:20.520
<v Speaker 3>But also, Jeff, don't you think like it's just saw

0:36:20.560 --> 0:36:25.279
<v Speaker 3>something literally on before we came on do this. I

0:36:25.320 --> 0:36:28.600
<v Speaker 3>saw something on TikTok about this guy talking about the

0:36:28.640 --> 0:36:34.000
<v Speaker 3>best marriages or the marriages that have companionships, like all

0:36:34.000 --> 0:36:39.640
<v Speaker 3>of that, you know, sparks and the tummy rolling and

0:36:39.680 --> 0:36:44.640
<v Speaker 3>the craziness of when you first fall in love changes period.

0:36:44.680 --> 0:36:46.480
<v Speaker 3>I don't care what anyone says, you don't have that

0:36:46.840 --> 0:36:49.239
<v Speaker 3>for a lifetime with someone. I don't think you guys.

0:36:49.239 --> 0:36:50.640
<v Speaker 3>Maybe you guys do have it, and I just don't

0:36:50.640 --> 0:36:53.680
<v Speaker 3>know that for a lifetime. It just it just changes.

0:36:53.760 --> 0:36:56.279
<v Speaker 3>But like now, so when you say prioritize each other,

0:36:56.360 --> 0:37:01.560
<v Speaker 3>even if it's we Jeff and I the kid's gone,

0:37:01.760 --> 0:37:04.120
<v Speaker 3>it's just we like each other so like all the

0:37:04.160 --> 0:37:07.120
<v Speaker 3>other stuff, but I just we just have fun together,

0:37:07.239 --> 0:37:11.279
<v Speaker 3>whatever it is. It's like, and we travel together, we

0:37:11.320 --> 0:37:13.680
<v Speaker 3>have fun together, and we're not like all over each other.

0:37:13.719 --> 0:37:15.840
<v Speaker 3>I mean we at any given night just in his

0:37:15.880 --> 0:37:19.160
<v Speaker 3>office and I'm upstairs watching TV, right, I mean we

0:37:19.200 --> 0:37:22.239
<v Speaker 3>don't like we don't write, but I mean I feel

0:37:22.280 --> 0:37:26.399
<v Speaker 3>like somebody said also maybe mel Robins, like I don't

0:37:26.440 --> 0:37:28.680
<v Speaker 3>want to be madly in love. I want to be

0:37:28.719 --> 0:37:31.160
<v Speaker 3>peacefully in love something like that. But I feel like

0:37:31.200 --> 0:37:33.080
<v Speaker 3>that's how our relationship has changed. Like it's just we're

0:37:33.120 --> 0:37:37.680
<v Speaker 3>just more first and foremost above everything else. Like we're

0:37:37.719 --> 0:37:39.880
<v Speaker 3>best friends and I'm doing all the talking, Jeff, So

0:37:39.920 --> 0:37:43.200
<v Speaker 3>feel free to jump in. Please tell them all how

0:37:43.320 --> 0:37:44.040
<v Speaker 3>much you would doore me.

0:37:44.200 --> 0:37:46.440
<v Speaker 6>You don't have the pressure anymore with the kids.

0:37:46.239 --> 0:37:50.359
<v Speaker 5>Not around to like you know, just I mean, you're

0:37:50.440 --> 0:37:51.640
<v Speaker 5>you're focused on each other.

0:38:00.280 --> 0:38:02.520
<v Speaker 2>What are your best times together?

0:38:02.719 --> 0:38:03.000
<v Speaker 4>Is it?

0:38:03.200 --> 0:38:03.319
<v Speaker 1>Like?

0:38:03.360 --> 0:38:06.000
<v Speaker 2>What are your like when you realize, oh, this is

0:38:06.160 --> 0:38:08.680
<v Speaker 2>the right person for me and we've just you went

0:38:08.719 --> 0:38:09.000
<v Speaker 2>to that.

0:38:09.280 --> 0:38:13.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm curious, Yeah, Like, do you have those moments traveling. Yeah, traveling.

0:38:13.320 --> 0:38:14.279
<v Speaker 1>I was going to say that too.

0:38:15.000 --> 0:38:17.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we don't get to we haven't gotten to travel

0:38:17.239 --> 0:38:20.279
<v Speaker 2>to too many exotic places. We just started, so we

0:38:20.320 --> 0:38:25.200
<v Speaker 2>went a few places before we had kids, but we

0:38:25.320 --> 0:38:29.000
<v Speaker 2>really just started taking our kids far away. So we

0:38:29.080 --> 0:38:32.520
<v Speaker 2>went to Rome with them last year, and we're going

0:38:32.560 --> 0:38:35.239
<v Speaker 2>to Barcelona with them this year. But those those really

0:38:35.280 --> 0:38:38.800
<v Speaker 2>are the best times well with their kids for sure,

0:38:39.280 --> 0:38:41.400
<v Speaker 2>Like by ourselves. We always kind of did because they

0:38:41.440 --> 0:38:43.720
<v Speaker 2>always were in Sleepway camp. So we take like least

0:38:44.400 --> 0:38:48.000
<v Speaker 2>one trip the year, Oh you had sleep boy kids.

0:38:48.040 --> 0:38:50.800
<v Speaker 2>We don't write we sleep with kids. But we're literally

0:38:51.000 --> 0:38:53.880
<v Speaker 2>ever ever alone. We also have like a bunch of

0:38:53.880 --> 0:38:55.919
<v Speaker 2>friends that go away together always in the summers, and

0:38:56.680 --> 0:38:59.600
<v Speaker 2>we never joined them. Maybe one day I would like to.

0:39:00.040 --> 0:39:03.359
<v Speaker 3>But and I feel like though we are so very

0:39:03.400 --> 0:39:05.359
<v Speaker 3>specific in the way that we travel together, we are

0:39:05.400 --> 0:39:07.640
<v Speaker 3>exactly on the same rhythm, like you have to be.

0:39:08.080 --> 0:39:10.040
<v Speaker 3>We want to do this much sight seeing. We based

0:39:10.040 --> 0:39:13.600
<v Speaker 3>a whole trip around three meals and this much sight

0:39:13.640 --> 0:39:17.000
<v Speaker 3>seeing and then this much chilling out time. I don't know,

0:39:17.000 --> 0:39:18.759
<v Speaker 3>it's just that those are our best times for sure.

0:39:20.080 --> 0:39:20.880
<v Speaker 3>I haven't jump in.

0:39:21.360 --> 0:39:25.560
<v Speaker 4>Right about uh no, so I have a philosophical thing.

0:39:25.640 --> 0:39:29.280
<v Speaker 7>So I think when you're single, you're like one hundred

0:39:29.320 --> 0:39:32.600
<v Speaker 7>percent that's selfish. When you get married, before you have kids,

0:39:32.640 --> 0:39:35.759
<v Speaker 7>it's like fifty percent selfish, and then immediately when you

0:39:35.800 --> 0:39:38.799
<v Speaker 7>have that first kid, it's like one hundred percent selfless

0:39:38.840 --> 0:39:43.000
<v Speaker 7>and zero percent selfish. So what I look forward to,

0:39:43.520 --> 0:39:45.719
<v Speaker 7>I'm not trying to rush it, is when the kids

0:39:45.719 --> 0:39:48.640
<v Speaker 7>are all in college, because then you can become back

0:39:48.640 --> 0:39:49.000
<v Speaker 7>to that.

0:39:48.960 --> 0:39:51.080
<v Speaker 4>Fifty to fifty.

0:39:51.200 --> 0:39:52.799
<v Speaker 7>Maybe it's a little bit less because you still have

0:39:52.880 --> 0:39:55.160
<v Speaker 7>kids that demands on your time, but the stuff that

0:39:55.200 --> 0:39:58.239
<v Speaker 7>I love is yeah, yeah, there's the banality of life

0:39:58.280 --> 0:40:00.959
<v Speaker 7>right where a lot of people do the same things

0:40:01.000 --> 0:40:04.480
<v Speaker 7>every day and that's fine and that's great, But it's

0:40:04.520 --> 0:40:06.640
<v Speaker 7>really traveling and seeing the world and doing it with

0:40:06.920 --> 0:40:08.880
<v Speaker 7>someone that you love that's the best.

0:40:09.480 --> 0:40:11.799
<v Speaker 4>So you know, that's the best part.

0:40:11.840 --> 0:40:14.040
<v Speaker 2>You know. I would just hope I met my best

0:40:14.040 --> 0:40:20.200
<v Speaker 2>self when I have a good balance of friendships, family, time,

0:40:20.400 --> 0:40:24.080
<v Speaker 2>and work. And right now, you know, also, like work

0:40:24.160 --> 0:40:25.960
<v Speaker 2>is very up in the air. So Jen and I

0:40:26.000 --> 0:40:31.799
<v Speaker 2>were just discussing, like our contracts are up in I

0:40:31.800 --> 0:40:32.320
<v Speaker 2>think this.

0:40:32.200 --> 0:40:34.000
<v Speaker 1>Week, this week, oh is it this week?

0:40:34.080 --> 0:40:34.279
<v Speaker 4>Job?

0:40:35.480 --> 0:40:38.440
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, I think, yeah, I think our Bravo

0:40:38.480 --> 0:40:40.759
<v Speaker 2>contracts are up this week. We still don't know what's

0:40:40.760 --> 0:40:41.560
<v Speaker 2>going on with the show.

0:40:41.600 --> 0:40:43.120
<v Speaker 1>I mean, and either way it'll be fine.

0:40:43.320 --> 0:40:46.040
<v Speaker 2>But you know, like right now, I don't feel like

0:40:46.080 --> 0:40:48.520
<v Speaker 2>I have that career part down because I don't know

0:40:48.560 --> 0:40:50.640
<v Speaker 2>what's going on with the Bravo job, which does take

0:40:50.719 --> 0:40:52.040
<v Speaker 2>up a lot of your time. You know, It's funny

0:40:52.080 --> 0:40:53.759
<v Speaker 2>because when you watch these shows and someone's like, what

0:40:53.760 --> 0:40:55.920
<v Speaker 2>do you do for work? Well, like, it does take

0:40:55.960 --> 0:40:57.080
<v Speaker 2>up a lot of your time and you do get

0:40:57.080 --> 0:40:59.480
<v Speaker 2>paid for it, so that is kind of work, but

0:40:59.600 --> 0:41:02.680
<v Speaker 2>like it's not work because that's what you're You're on

0:41:02.960 --> 0:41:05.279
<v Speaker 2>your job talking about what you do for work, so

0:41:06.800 --> 0:41:08.440
<v Speaker 2>you know what I'm saying, Like, you can't say that

0:41:08.440 --> 0:41:10.279
<v Speaker 2>that's your job, but like in reality, that is a

0:41:10.360 --> 0:41:11.560
<v Speaker 2>large portion of how you.

0:41:11.520 --> 0:41:13.680
<v Speaker 1>Make your money when you're on one of these shows.

0:41:13.960 --> 0:41:18.000
<v Speaker 2>So right now, I don't really feel like I have

0:41:18.200 --> 0:41:21.640
<v Speaker 2>closure with where I am with work until I know

0:41:21.680 --> 0:41:22.839
<v Speaker 2>what's going on with well.

0:41:23.480 --> 0:41:26.239
<v Speaker 3>I think also, like Jack, you're you're a worker, like

0:41:26.280 --> 0:41:28.160
<v Speaker 3>you always want to have a million things going on.

0:41:28.280 --> 0:41:30.520
<v Speaker 3>I need I need to have a million things going on.

0:41:30.600 --> 0:41:32.840
<v Speaker 3>I like it, but also like our husbands, I think both.

0:41:32.920 --> 0:41:35.000
<v Speaker 3>I think, Evan, you're like this too. But Jeff is

0:41:35.040 --> 0:41:38.120
<v Speaker 3>an insane workaholic and I don't even say that.

0:41:38.200 --> 0:41:38.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm not even.

0:41:38.719 --> 0:41:40.960
<v Speaker 3>It's not like a compliment like oh my husband's he

0:41:41.160 --> 0:41:43.880
<v Speaker 3>just is. He has like a sickness. It's not even.

0:41:43.960 --> 0:41:46.319
<v Speaker 3>And I think it stems from this weird financial insecurity

0:41:46.520 --> 0:41:49.520
<v Speaker 3>that for some reason he thinks that any moment we

0:41:49.560 --> 0:41:51.399
<v Speaker 3>could be homeless. I don't know what goes on there,

0:41:51.440 --> 0:41:55.640
<v Speaker 3>but anyway, I think that it's the greatest thing when

0:41:56.400 --> 0:41:59.319
<v Speaker 3>at least for us, like Jeff is so absorbed in work,

0:41:59.360 --> 0:42:02.239
<v Speaker 3>we're not on of each other as empty nesters like

0:42:02.360 --> 0:42:05.560
<v Speaker 3>he's got and I always had. Yeah, well, I mean,

0:42:05.800 --> 0:42:06.520
<v Speaker 3>what do you think, Evan.

0:42:07.320 --> 0:42:09.840
<v Speaker 7>I always want to be busy with some outside pursuit,

0:42:09.880 --> 0:42:14.120
<v Speaker 7>whether it's teaching or my current job, definitely, but I

0:42:14.160 --> 0:42:17.440
<v Speaker 7>want to start scaling down. So I don't want to

0:42:17.440 --> 0:42:20.279
<v Speaker 7>be I don't want to be a seventy five year

0:42:20.280 --> 0:42:23.560
<v Speaker 7>old and twenty five years and you know, be working

0:42:23.680 --> 0:42:27.120
<v Speaker 7>ten hours a day that's one hundred percent because I

0:42:27.160 --> 0:42:30.040
<v Speaker 7>can't take the money with me. I live once. I

0:42:30.080 --> 0:42:32.200
<v Speaker 7>don't live for work. I don't live for money. I

0:42:32.200 --> 0:42:35.520
<v Speaker 7>don't live for material goods at all. You can probably

0:42:35.520 --> 0:42:38.000
<v Speaker 7>tell by the way I dress. What I care about

0:42:38.560 --> 0:42:40.600
<v Speaker 7>is relationships and experiences.

0:42:40.680 --> 0:42:41.120
<v Speaker 4>That's it.

0:42:41.719 --> 0:42:45.400
<v Speaker 7>So you know, one you know, in forty years or whatever,

0:42:45.840 --> 0:42:47.440
<v Speaker 7>I'm nearing the end of my life. I wanted to

0:42:47.440 --> 0:42:51.040
<v Speaker 7>be with no regrets, but forever I'm not gonna be

0:42:51.040 --> 0:42:51.600
<v Speaker 7>able to do that.

0:42:51.880 --> 0:42:54.160
<v Speaker 2>You do need money in order to live the course

0:42:54.280 --> 0:42:55.880
<v Speaker 2>life that you want to live.

0:42:57.440 --> 0:42:57.840
<v Speaker 5>I think.

0:43:00.040 --> 0:43:02.240
<v Speaker 2>Teachers at Georgetown, I don't. I don't think many people

0:43:02.280 --> 0:43:04.040
<v Speaker 2>know that. Evan teachers two classes this.

0:43:04.040 --> 0:43:07.560
<v Speaker 4>Year, well three three three this year actually out.

0:43:09.000 --> 0:43:09.160
<v Speaker 1>I know.

0:43:09.440 --> 0:43:10.840
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I feel bad for the students.

0:43:11.360 --> 0:43:13.400
<v Speaker 1>No, yeah, I'm sure I feel bad for the females,

0:43:16.040 --> 0:43:16.640
<v Speaker 1>definitely not.

0:43:16.920 --> 0:43:19.560
<v Speaker 2>Don't feel bad for the college students, the female college

0:43:19.560 --> 0:43:24.239
<v Speaker 2>students at the hot professor. Feel bad for the wife exactly.

0:43:24.400 --> 0:43:26.799
<v Speaker 2>But anyway, tell us not back to love. Let's talk

0:43:26.840 --> 0:43:30.240
<v Speaker 2>about love because it's a Valentine's episode. So when you, Jeff,

0:43:30.239 --> 0:43:32.440
<v Speaker 2>when you buy Jena gift, does she choose it for

0:43:32.480 --> 0:43:35.120
<v Speaker 2>herself and then you buy it? Or are you good

0:43:35.120 --> 0:43:37.080
<v Speaker 2>at picking this out? And I will wrap this this

0:43:37.200 --> 0:43:40.799
<v Speaker 2>with a story. My friend called me about fifteen years ago.

0:43:40.880 --> 0:43:43.080
<v Speaker 2>She was dating her husband, and she said to me,

0:43:43.160 --> 0:43:45.560
<v Speaker 2>I don't know what to do. He bought me a

0:43:45.640 --> 0:43:49.400
<v Speaker 2>doonie and burke bag. Do I return it? Or like

0:43:49.920 --> 0:43:52.160
<v Speaker 2>he was trying so hard he went to a department store.

0:43:52.160 --> 0:43:54.120
<v Speaker 2>And I mean, but nobody carries a duney and burke

0:43:54.160 --> 0:43:54.840
<v Speaker 2>bag anymore.

0:43:54.840 --> 0:43:55.759
<v Speaker 1>They'll you know.

0:43:56.239 --> 0:43:58.879
<v Speaker 2>So I always advocate for picking out your own gift.

0:43:58.880 --> 0:44:00.600
<v Speaker 2>I don't think there's any problem with that. Some people

0:44:00.680 --> 0:44:03.040
<v Speaker 2>think that's horrific. Where are you guys?

0:44:03.719 --> 0:44:06.759
<v Speaker 6>Well, I've learned over the years because I would. I

0:44:06.760 --> 0:44:09.799
<v Speaker 6>would buy her a gift and she'd be like, I

0:44:09.840 --> 0:44:10.319
<v Speaker 6>love it.

0:44:10.239 --> 0:44:13.680
<v Speaker 5>I love it, and you know, literally the next day

0:44:13.920 --> 0:44:18.800
<v Speaker 5>she'd called me, well, well, you know, you wouldn't mind

0:44:18.800 --> 0:44:21.759
<v Speaker 5>if I like take it back and get this or

0:44:21.840 --> 0:44:24.280
<v Speaker 5>get And it happened constantly, So now.

0:44:24.200 --> 0:44:26.799
<v Speaker 1>Would you mind? Were you insulted or did you not know?

0:44:26.880 --> 0:44:26.920
<v Speaker 4>No?

0:44:27.440 --> 0:44:30.960
<v Speaker 6>No, not at all. So now it's just what do

0:44:31.040 --> 0:44:31.319
<v Speaker 6>you want?

0:44:31.880 --> 0:44:32.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

0:44:32.160 --> 0:44:32.719
<v Speaker 1>What do I want?

0:44:32.760 --> 0:44:36.160
<v Speaker 3>But also like it our jeweler, like we have all

0:44:36.480 --> 0:44:39.600
<v Speaker 3>like there's a wish list, so like people come in

0:44:39.640 --> 0:44:41.799
<v Speaker 3>and they give their wish lists. Their spouse can come

0:44:41.800 --> 0:44:43.480
<v Speaker 3>in or their boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever it is

0:44:43.880 --> 0:44:46.279
<v Speaker 3>and pick something out of that, it's all very manufactured

0:44:46.280 --> 0:44:47.200
<v Speaker 3>and not romantic at all.

0:44:47.239 --> 0:44:49.440
<v Speaker 1>But then you get what you want, so right.

0:44:49.320 --> 0:44:50.960
<v Speaker 2>But then you always have this thing that you can

0:44:51.040 --> 0:44:53.040
<v Speaker 2>look at and remember when they gave it to you.

0:44:53.120 --> 0:44:55.320
<v Speaker 2>Like so most of my jewelry or things that Evan

0:44:55.360 --> 0:44:59.479
<v Speaker 2>has given to me, and I've picked most of them out,

0:45:00.239 --> 0:45:03.399
<v Speaker 2>but after that one little occasion where you pick it out,

0:45:03.719 --> 0:45:06.080
<v Speaker 2>I forever look at this thing that I love and

0:45:06.120 --> 0:45:08.919
<v Speaker 2>I know exactly which occasion he gave it. He got

0:45:08.920 --> 0:45:11.360
<v Speaker 2>it for me, and it's still him getting it, so

0:45:11.440 --> 0:45:16.560
<v Speaker 2>I don't mind it. But I think, uh, we don't

0:45:16.600 --> 0:45:17.879
<v Speaker 2>do gifts for Valentine's Day.

0:45:17.880 --> 0:45:19.360
<v Speaker 1>We do gifts for birthdays.

0:45:19.360 --> 0:45:20.279
<v Speaker 4>Oh good, good, I got it.

0:45:20.760 --> 0:45:23.279
<v Speaker 7>Oh no, yeah, we do get But I once got

0:45:23.280 --> 0:45:26.399
<v Speaker 7>you a gift of like a pack of massages. It's

0:45:26.400 --> 0:45:29.440
<v Speaker 7>probably like fifteen years ago, and you said, oh, thank you,

0:45:29.480 --> 0:45:34.799
<v Speaker 7>thank you. Oh yeah, and it sat there and said

0:45:34.840 --> 0:45:37.879
<v Speaker 7>thank you, and you're like, I thought, maybe if she'll

0:45:37.960 --> 0:45:39.279
<v Speaker 7>use it, and then you didn't use it, and then

0:45:39.280 --> 0:45:41.279
<v Speaker 7>ever since then, I'm like, all right, I'm just going

0:45:41.320 --> 0:45:42.240
<v Speaker 7>to differ whatever.

0:45:42.080 --> 0:45:44.759
<v Speaker 2>You want, because I'm really bad with going for like

0:45:45.239 --> 0:45:48.960
<v Speaker 2>five days because it takes up in time tired, and

0:45:49.000 --> 0:45:52.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm not big on being like touched and needed and prodded.

0:45:52.280 --> 0:45:52.960
<v Speaker 2>I don't love that.

0:45:53.640 --> 0:45:54.240
<v Speaker 1>I don't love.

0:45:54.480 --> 0:45:56.640
<v Speaker 3>Jeff doesn't at all. He doesn't like to be touched period,

0:45:56.719 --> 0:45:57.200
<v Speaker 3>full stop.

0:45:57.320 --> 0:45:58.080
<v Speaker 2>You never get a couple.

0:45:58.080 --> 0:45:59.520
<v Speaker 1>This massage not for him.

0:46:00.120 --> 0:46:02.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Evan, do you like massages? I'm like, not that

0:46:03.000 --> 0:46:04.160
<v Speaker 2>into being touched like that.

0:46:05.000 --> 0:46:07.120
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I mean, well it depends what type, but yes,

0:46:07.440 --> 0:46:09.279
<v Speaker 4>I can't. Like.

0:46:09.360 --> 0:46:11.440
<v Speaker 1>We went we went to Mohnk for a weekend.

0:46:11.560 --> 0:46:15.920
<v Speaker 2>You ever go there, mo Honk Monk Mountain, like scrub

0:46:16.080 --> 0:46:18.200
<v Speaker 2>on me and like I was sitting in the scrub

0:46:18.200 --> 0:46:18.600
<v Speaker 2>and I was.

0:46:18.560 --> 0:46:20.920
<v Speaker 1>Like, oh, get it off. It was like twitching. I

0:46:20.960 --> 0:46:22.960
<v Speaker 1>can't do those. I like it.

0:46:23.040 --> 0:46:25.960
<v Speaker 2>I don't get facials. I don't get no facials. I

0:46:26.040 --> 0:46:28.720
<v Speaker 2>just started going again. I just started going for facials.

0:46:28.880 --> 0:46:32.360
<v Speaker 6>We did that tie massage and Bali on our honeymoon.

0:46:32.560 --> 0:46:34.520
<v Speaker 1>Honeymoon and that miserable.

0:46:34.600 --> 0:46:35.120
<v Speaker 6>That was it.

0:46:35.480 --> 0:46:37.920
<v Speaker 3>That was it, because it was also probably a bad idea.

0:46:38.400 --> 0:46:40.000
<v Speaker 3>I don't know if you'd ever had a massage before,

0:46:40.000 --> 0:46:41.920
<v Speaker 3>and it was a kind of massage where they pick

0:46:41.960 --> 0:46:46.359
<v Speaker 3>your foot up and basically spin like this insane. I

0:46:46.400 --> 0:46:48.239
<v Speaker 3>loved it. I thought it was great, but yeah, he

0:46:48.320 --> 0:46:51.279
<v Speaker 3>was like never again around. No, I'm just saying I'm

0:46:51.280 --> 0:46:53.959
<v Speaker 3>being facetious. I'm saying like they were there, your legs

0:46:53.960 --> 0:46:56.080
<v Speaker 3>are up here, and they're moving you on all these

0:46:56.200 --> 0:46:57.560
<v Speaker 3>crazy ways.

0:46:57.800 --> 0:46:59.560
<v Speaker 1>But I mean I loved it.

0:47:00.080 --> 0:47:00.600
<v Speaker 4>Yeah I love it.

0:47:00.640 --> 0:47:03.480
<v Speaker 1>I do too, Yeah I do too. But no, that

0:47:03.600 --> 0:47:04.919
<v Speaker 1>was it. That's probably his last Moses.

0:47:05.000 --> 0:47:07.680
<v Speaker 2>So if you were, if you were talking to so

0:47:07.840 --> 0:47:11.520
<v Speaker 2>you guys have I think we have two beautiful, solid marriages,

0:47:11.719 --> 0:47:14.520
<v Speaker 2>which is a lot of my friends are dropping like

0:47:14.560 --> 0:47:16.319
<v Speaker 2>flies by the way. I find out about a new

0:47:16.320 --> 0:47:23.120
<v Speaker 2>couple getting divorced constantly. But so I feel very fortunate.

0:47:23.640 --> 0:47:26.400
<v Speaker 2>I do because I feel like we're we're pretty rock solid.

0:47:27.840 --> 0:47:30.400
<v Speaker 2>And that's not to say that everything's always perfect, but

0:47:30.520 --> 0:47:34.960
<v Speaker 2>we're pretty Obviously, if you were talking to a couple

0:47:35.080 --> 0:47:37.600
<v Speaker 2>just starting out, what pieces of advice would you give

0:47:37.640 --> 0:47:40.360
<v Speaker 2>them about marriage, love, you know, the long haul.

0:47:40.719 --> 0:47:45.120
<v Speaker 5>I would say, I think the biggest thing is to communicate.

0:47:45.480 --> 0:47:47.840
<v Speaker 6>That's what I've learned. You just have to communicate.

0:47:48.719 --> 0:47:52.040
<v Speaker 5>And if you're if you've you know, if you've got

0:47:52.040 --> 0:47:53.480
<v Speaker 5>these feelings and you.

0:47:53.440 --> 0:47:56.200
<v Speaker 6>Know you're not letting them out and not telling your partner,

0:47:56.960 --> 0:47:57.480
<v Speaker 6>you know that I.

0:47:57.480 --> 0:47:59.200
<v Speaker 3>Don't know what he's talking about right now. When was

0:47:59.200 --> 0:48:01.920
<v Speaker 3>the last time you come communicated with me? I mean,

0:48:02.080 --> 0:48:03.920
<v Speaker 3>I talk about your feelings. I don't even know what

0:48:04.000 --> 0:48:07.320
<v Speaker 3>you're talking about right now. Communicate I mean.

0:48:09.239 --> 0:48:11.680
<v Speaker 6>Them, But you definitely talk about the feelings, all of them.

0:48:11.719 --> 0:48:15.560
<v Speaker 1>I do. I Yeah, that's true. I would say that more.

0:48:15.840 --> 0:48:16.279
<v Speaker 1>I don't know.

0:48:16.600 --> 0:48:18.440
<v Speaker 3>Listen, we don't have the answers. I feel like a

0:48:18.480 --> 0:48:21.040
<v Speaker 3>lot of what we've got very luckier. But I think

0:48:21.040 --> 0:48:23.120
<v Speaker 3>that I say this to my daughter all the time,

0:48:23.280 --> 0:48:24.840
<v Speaker 3>not to my son, because he's no interest in what

0:48:24.920 --> 0:48:27.880
<v Speaker 3>I think in this area. But I tell Rachel all

0:48:27.880 --> 0:48:33.000
<v Speaker 3>the time, like more important than what he looks like,

0:48:33.160 --> 0:48:37.279
<v Speaker 3>more important than what he does, more important than like

0:48:37.360 --> 0:48:41.160
<v Speaker 3>the most important thing is That sounds so obvious, but

0:48:41.200 --> 0:48:43.600
<v Speaker 3>that is he a nice guy? There's this Jewish word

0:48:43.640 --> 0:48:45.799
<v Speaker 3>you guys who are listening you might not know, called

0:48:46.040 --> 0:48:50.840
<v Speaker 3>is he a mench? And that means is he somebody

0:48:50.840 --> 0:48:54.160
<v Speaker 3>who actually cares about the people around him the world

0:48:54.200 --> 0:48:54.839
<v Speaker 3>around him?

0:48:55.239 --> 0:48:55.520
<v Speaker 1>Is he?

0:48:56.480 --> 0:48:59.560
<v Speaker 3>And I was very got very lucky in that area

0:48:59.560 --> 0:49:01.000
<v Speaker 3>because I did. There's a lot of guys that were

0:49:01.040 --> 0:49:04.200
<v Speaker 3>not menches. I was just drawn to not bad guys.

0:49:04.239 --> 0:49:06.080
<v Speaker 3>I was really drawn to every guy. I was completely

0:49:06.080 --> 0:49:09.120
<v Speaker 3>boy crazy. But I think that part of why we

0:49:09.200 --> 0:49:13.000
<v Speaker 3>have work so long. Well, I'm crazy, bitch, And Jeff

0:49:13.120 --> 0:49:15.880
<v Speaker 3>is such a minch. He's such a good person, he

0:49:16.000 --> 0:49:19.400
<v Speaker 3>is such a good father, he is such a good husband.

0:49:19.840 --> 0:49:24.600
<v Speaker 3>So he's you know, I am out of my mind

0:49:25.160 --> 0:49:27.640
<v Speaker 3>and but he is rock salt all day.

0:49:27.680 --> 0:49:28.480
<v Speaker 1>I want that for my daughter.

0:49:28.520 --> 0:49:31.040
<v Speaker 3>I want her to find a guy that you know,

0:49:31.200 --> 0:49:35.000
<v Speaker 3>is just a good, devoted mensch, right.

0:49:34.920 --> 0:49:37.640
<v Speaker 1>Because everything else can change, looks, your job, all of

0:49:37.680 --> 0:49:40.960
<v Speaker 1>that change. But like the inner I think, I think.

0:49:40.840 --> 0:49:44.200
<v Speaker 2>What I would tell people well is not to let

0:49:44.239 --> 0:49:47.759
<v Speaker 2>little fights turn into big fights, right, like put it

0:49:47.800 --> 0:49:51.239
<v Speaker 2>to bed quickly. Like so when we have like a thing,

0:49:51.440 --> 0:49:54.160
<v Speaker 2>like we're pretty sure to talk it out or it

0:49:54.200 --> 0:49:59.120
<v Speaker 2>turns into something bigger, right, What would you tell people?

0:49:59.719 --> 0:50:04.280
<v Speaker 7>Ma, Yeah, so you're you're right, Jeff's right about communication

0:50:04.400 --> 0:50:07.919
<v Speaker 7>and listening. But it's also I think it's perspective, right,

0:50:08.000 --> 0:50:12.040
<v Speaker 7>So if you have a little fight, nothing's ever like

0:50:12.080 --> 0:50:15.920
<v Speaker 7>a straight line up of greatness. And Jackie makes a

0:50:15.960 --> 0:50:17.839
<v Speaker 7>lot of mistakes and I always forgive her for them,

0:50:18.080 --> 0:50:22.680
<v Speaker 7>but no, when I'm crazy to right, but when you

0:50:22.920 --> 0:50:25.239
<v Speaker 7>when you have something that you disagree, and there's kind

0:50:25.239 --> 0:50:28.719
<v Speaker 7>of a step back in the relationship the right perspective

0:50:28.760 --> 0:50:31.800
<v Speaker 7>of understanding the main things of is this a good person?

0:50:32.239 --> 0:50:33.840
<v Speaker 7>Is this somebody that you want to be with the

0:50:33.880 --> 0:50:36.120
<v Speaker 7>rest of your life, which you know has never changed

0:50:36.120 --> 0:50:40.480
<v Speaker 7>in my eyes, it's always been yes, just remembering all

0:50:40.520 --> 0:50:43.600
<v Speaker 7>the good stuff and the key things, because when little

0:50:43.600 --> 0:50:46.680
<v Speaker 7>things come up, I think more people than not probably

0:50:47.280 --> 0:50:51.120
<v Speaker 7>take them and kind of lead to a dangerous path,

0:50:51.440 --> 0:50:53.759
<v Speaker 7>whereas you've got to realize you just got to let

0:50:53.760 --> 0:50:55.920
<v Speaker 7>it go and realize that you know, there there are

0:50:55.920 --> 0:50:57.400
<v Speaker 7>waves in the ocean, so to speak.

0:50:57.680 --> 0:50:59.759
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So you know what, if we ever do have

0:50:59.800 --> 0:51:01.840
<v Speaker 2>a time, I look at my kids and they all

0:51:02.239 --> 0:51:05.600
<v Speaker 2>really look a lot like Evan. They've got a mix

0:51:05.600 --> 0:51:08.040
<v Speaker 2>of both of us, but some of their strongest features

0:51:08.080 --> 0:51:11.200
<v Speaker 2>are Evan's, and like I just I love them so

0:51:11.280 --> 0:51:13.040
<v Speaker 2>much and I look at them and I see his face,

0:51:13.480 --> 0:51:16.839
<v Speaker 2>you know, and I realize, like nothing is worth like

0:51:17.719 --> 0:51:22.720
<v Speaker 2>having like any kind kind of like dispute within your family,

0:51:22.800 --> 0:51:26.240
<v Speaker 2>Like that's your people. This is your safe like place

0:51:26.280 --> 0:51:29.600
<v Speaker 2>of love, right, and like don't let anything from the

0:51:29.600 --> 0:51:32.200
<v Speaker 2>outside world fuck that up, right, And so that's what

0:51:32.280 --> 0:51:34.279
<v Speaker 2>always come back to I know, I came.

0:51:34.239 --> 0:51:36.160
<v Speaker 1>From divorce, a lot of divorce.

0:51:36.480 --> 0:51:40.479
<v Speaker 3>I was the child of multiple divorces, and Jeff grew

0:51:40.600 --> 0:51:45.200
<v Speaker 3>up with the greatest parent, very just this it was him,

0:51:45.239 --> 0:51:47.280
<v Speaker 3>and it was his sister, and it was his two parents,

0:51:47.280 --> 0:51:53.000
<v Speaker 3>and they just we came from such different worlds, and like,

0:51:53.840 --> 0:51:56.319
<v Speaker 3>I wanted that so badly. I think I lost sight

0:51:56.320 --> 0:51:58.480
<v Speaker 3>of that at some point during our marriage, and that

0:51:58.600 --> 0:52:01.760
<v Speaker 3>led to what it led to. But like, I feel

0:52:01.880 --> 0:52:06.239
<v Speaker 3>very lucky to have this family and like this man

0:52:06.280 --> 0:52:08.799
<v Speaker 3>who loves my kids as much as I do. And

0:52:08.800 --> 0:52:11.959
<v Speaker 3>I'm not saying people shouldn't get divorced, because there's certainly many, many,

0:52:12.000 --> 0:52:14.280
<v Speaker 3>many cases where it's better to get divorced than stay together.

0:52:14.320 --> 0:52:16.600
<v Speaker 3>I truly believe that you don't always just stay together,

0:52:16.680 --> 0:52:20.920
<v Speaker 3>but if if you can, it is there is something

0:52:21.000 --> 0:52:22.920
<v Speaker 3>so fabulous to be said for it right to be.

0:52:23.120 --> 0:52:27.120
<v Speaker 2>I know, my parents haven't lived together in twenty five years.

0:52:27.200 --> 0:52:31.560
<v Speaker 2>They're very happily married, more happily married now.

0:52:31.400 --> 0:52:34.040
<v Speaker 1>That they don't live together. That's so interesting.

0:52:34.960 --> 0:52:37.239
<v Speaker 2>Did live together, Yeah, a lot of fighting when I

0:52:37.280 --> 0:52:39.879
<v Speaker 2>grew up. Now not so much fighting because they don't

0:52:40.000 --> 0:52:41.680
<v Speaker 2>know where the hell each other are half the time,

0:52:41.880 --> 0:52:43.439
<v Speaker 2>so it works out.

0:52:43.480 --> 0:52:47.560
<v Speaker 1>But this is nice. Thank you boys for joining us.

0:52:47.280 --> 0:52:51.760
<v Speaker 4>Thank you for having us.

0:52:50.840 --> 0:52:53.560
<v Speaker 1>Jeff, thank you Evan. Happy Valentine's Day to you guys

0:52:53.560 --> 0:52:57.359
<v Speaker 1>and Jeff. Valentine's Day. What'd you get me? Honey? What'd

0:52:57.360 --> 0:52:57.759
<v Speaker 1>you get me?

0:52:58.640 --> 0:52:58.799
<v Speaker 2>Hi?

0:52:58.840 --> 0:52:59.279
<v Speaker 6>What do you want?

0:53:02.160 --> 0:53:02.279
<v Speaker 4>Oh?

0:53:02.320 --> 0:53:03.600
<v Speaker 6>I already got it, already.

0:53:03.280 --> 0:53:05.560
<v Speaker 1>Got on the registry at the jeweler.

0:53:06.320 --> 0:53:09.920
<v Speaker 3>Yes, and Russell stopers, please pink box, lots of bows.

0:53:10.680 --> 0:53:13.000
<v Speaker 2>All right, Thank you guys, You.

0:53:15.000 --> 0:53:18.799
<v Speaker 1>Guys, sign off. You guys, chat with miss fassel Hair.

0:53:21.840 --> 0:53:26.719
<v Speaker 3>Very cute, You're cute, very lucky, very lucky.

0:53:27.239 --> 0:53:28.960
<v Speaker 2>I hope that our kids a lot of fine, a

0:53:28.960 --> 0:53:31.239
<v Speaker 2>lot of people dropping like flies. And I do I

0:53:31.280 --> 0:53:33.600
<v Speaker 2>do think like if you're in a bad marriage, that

0:53:33.600 --> 0:53:35.400
<v Speaker 2>that's probably the way to go.

0:53:35.840 --> 0:53:38.239
<v Speaker 1>You know. I don't advocate for like stay married no

0:53:38.280 --> 0:53:40.919
<v Speaker 1>matter what at all, Like I just think it's it's

0:53:42.040 --> 0:53:46.840
<v Speaker 1>fabulous to have this deal with that.

0:53:46.960 --> 0:53:49.880
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but yeah, but I mean that's not always the answer.

0:53:49.920 --> 0:53:51.960
<v Speaker 3>I think it's better for your kids if you're miserable

0:53:52.040 --> 0:53:54.080
<v Speaker 3>to not to get to be Yes.

0:53:53.880 --> 0:53:57.720
<v Speaker 2>Probably is your mom remarried now? Yes, he's married.

0:53:57.760 --> 0:53:59.520
<v Speaker 1>Now? How long have you been with her husband? Now?

0:54:01.040 --> 0:54:05.359
<v Speaker 1>So twenty oh, that's time. So this was the one.

0:54:05.520 --> 0:54:06.920
<v Speaker 1>This is the beast few years married.

0:54:07.880 --> 0:54:10.440
<v Speaker 3>Well, my mom and my dad got divorced when I

0:54:10.480 --> 0:54:14.239
<v Speaker 3>was very young, like three, and my sister was two,

0:54:14.280 --> 0:54:19.279
<v Speaker 3>and then they both remarried and then that marriage did

0:54:19.280 --> 0:54:22.360
<v Speaker 3>not work out for either of them. But then my

0:54:22.400 --> 0:54:26.080
<v Speaker 3>mom got remarried again and he died. Oh and right,

0:54:26.640 --> 0:54:30.719
<v Speaker 3>so and then my dad got married again and they

0:54:30.760 --> 0:54:32.839
<v Speaker 3>got divorced. I mean, that's a whole other We could

0:54:32.880 --> 0:54:35.680
<v Speaker 3>do a different pod on this, but.

0:54:35.920 --> 0:54:41.600
<v Speaker 1>I experience a divorce, not in my parents, not in me. Nothing. Yeah,

0:54:41.760 --> 0:54:42.680
<v Speaker 1>no experience of it.

0:54:43.520 --> 0:54:45.920
<v Speaker 3>And I think also divorces, people are doing them in

0:54:45.960 --> 0:54:48.839
<v Speaker 3>a way that's way better, I hope. I think better

0:54:48.880 --> 0:54:51.920
<v Speaker 3>for the kids now. I think, like people, there's a

0:54:51.920 --> 0:54:53.560
<v Speaker 3>lot of lessons that have been learned over the years

0:54:53.560 --> 0:54:56.360
<v Speaker 3>about divorce, what not to do. And when we were separated,

0:54:57.040 --> 0:54:59.160
<v Speaker 3>neither one of us would say one what bad word

0:54:59.160 --> 0:55:01.160
<v Speaker 3>about the other one. I mean, oh really, I loved

0:55:01.200 --> 0:55:01.640
<v Speaker 3>each other.

0:55:03.000 --> 0:55:04.759
<v Speaker 1>Year and right.

0:55:04.920 --> 0:55:07.760
<v Speaker 2>The things I saw were just I mean, these divorces

0:55:07.760 --> 0:55:11.920
<v Speaker 2>were bad. I was at a very wealthy Park Avenue

0:55:12.239 --> 0:55:17.160
<v Speaker 2>divorce firm. I had clients, a lot of wives who

0:55:17.160 --> 0:55:20.680
<v Speaker 2>were a lot younger than their very wealthy husbands. It

0:55:20.719 --> 0:55:23.400
<v Speaker 2>was their first marriage, but their husband's like fourth marriage.

0:55:23.640 --> 0:55:25.960
<v Speaker 2>And you know, it was sad a lot of times sad,

0:55:26.719 --> 0:55:30.160
<v Speaker 2>and I just hated like when the kids were involved.

0:55:31.400 --> 0:55:33.400
<v Speaker 3>So it was sad, you know. So it was not

0:55:33.480 --> 0:55:35.200
<v Speaker 3>it's just not divorced. I mean as being you know,

0:55:35.239 --> 0:55:39.680
<v Speaker 3>a kid of divorced. Definitely, definitely not easy. Yeah, well,

0:55:39.800 --> 0:55:42.279
<v Speaker 3>let's not talk about divorce. Talk about Valentine's Day. Yeah,

0:55:42.360 --> 0:55:46.800
<v Speaker 3>Valentine's Day to you any Galentines with your girlfriends. I

0:55:46.960 --> 0:55:49.680
<v Speaker 3>just did a Salentines which I I you know, I

0:55:49.680 --> 0:55:52.640
<v Speaker 3>had this partnership now with the Avenue at American Dream.

0:55:52.719 --> 0:55:54.120
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah about them.

0:55:54.640 --> 0:55:56.799
<v Speaker 3>But I so I am working with the Avenue, which

0:55:56.840 --> 0:56:00.759
<v Speaker 3>is that luxury wing of American Dream, and and just

0:56:00.840 --> 0:56:03.840
<v Speaker 3>trying to I don't think people in Bergen County specifically

0:56:03.920 --> 0:56:05.840
<v Speaker 3>or in the city really know. And for all of you,

0:56:06.000 --> 0:56:07.920
<v Speaker 3>all of those of you who are not listening, who

0:56:07.920 --> 0:56:09.280
<v Speaker 3>are listening and don't live in one of those places,

0:56:09.280 --> 0:56:11.440
<v Speaker 3>this is gonna be fast and working with them anyway

0:56:11.520 --> 0:56:14.480
<v Speaker 3>to sort of like show people how fabulous this area

0:56:14.680 --> 0:56:16.799
<v Speaker 3>of the mall is. It's all the luxury stores it's

0:56:16.920 --> 0:56:21.440
<v Speaker 3>champagne and caviar bar and this unweavil restaurant called Carpacias.

0:56:21.440 --> 0:56:21.920
<v Speaker 1>Blah blah blah.

0:56:22.040 --> 0:56:26.040
<v Speaker 3>I did this promo and I talked about Salentine's Day.

0:56:26.320 --> 0:56:29.160
<v Speaker 3>Salentine's Day made up is self love. Oh I love

0:56:29.239 --> 0:56:33.200
<v Speaker 3>that my bag right, yeah, I took myself right to

0:56:33.239 --> 0:56:36.440
<v Speaker 3>the mall by my little self, took myself out to lunch.

0:56:36.600 --> 0:56:38.160
<v Speaker 1>Was fabulous.

0:56:38.239 --> 0:56:41.840
<v Speaker 3>And no, I don't know, I don't need Gallantines things

0:56:41.880 --> 0:56:42.440
<v Speaker 3>going on to you.

0:56:42.560 --> 0:56:45.719
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I got two of them this week, but we'll see.

0:56:45.680 --> 0:56:46.839
<v Speaker 1>Its supposed to fun.

0:56:46.960 --> 0:56:49.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fun.

0:56:49.360 --> 0:56:49.960
<v Speaker 1>I enjoy it.

0:56:50.040 --> 0:56:51.760
<v Speaker 2>I think I like the Galentines better than the Valentine.

0:56:52.120 --> 0:56:54.640
<v Speaker 2>I'll just be like sitting, you know. I like being

0:56:54.680 --> 0:56:55.480
<v Speaker 2>with my girlfriends.

0:56:55.480 --> 0:56:57.080
<v Speaker 1>I love it. Yeah that my.

0:56:57.120 --> 0:57:03.719
<v Speaker 2>Kids are a little less sneedy, know, I enjoy going

0:57:03.719 --> 0:57:07.840
<v Speaker 2>out with my girlfriends. So yeah, and you know, but

0:57:07.920 --> 0:57:11.000
<v Speaker 2>Valentine's we don't really have any plans. But anyway, Happy

0:57:11.040 --> 0:57:15.440
<v Speaker 2>Valentine's Toe you Happy Valentine's Day from two Jersey Jays.

0:57:15.680 --> 0:57:17.600
<v Speaker 1>From two Jersey Jays, and we will see you guys

0:57:17.640 --> 0:57:20.960
<v Speaker 1>next time. Enjoy your day, guys. Bye, Hope you get

0:57:21.000 --> 0:57:25.160
<v Speaker 1>lots of gifts. Bye,