WEBVTT - 061723 The Persistent Myths about Black Fathers (Part 2) 0:00:00.360 --> 0:00:00.880 And now. 0:00:02.920 --> 0:00:12.040 Watching my mic back like that strike from head borders behind. 0:00:11.680 --> 0:00:14.520 In the big For those of you just tuning in 0:00:14.600 --> 0:00:16.480 civic secerd, I am your host, Ramsey's job. 0:00:16.880 --> 0:00:20.160 That smooth, silky voice that you hear, Yes, that is 0:00:20.280 --> 0:00:26.439 Ramday's job, the regular person voice to the stuff. It's myself, 0:00:27.960 --> 0:00:30.720 Reverend is s tell her name Nick Quentin. Most of 0:00:30.800 --> 0:00:34.479 y'all know me s Q. You are tuned in to 0:00:34.600 --> 0:00:37.320 civic ecitement, sir, stick around. We got a lot more 0:00:37.360 --> 0:00:38.080 showing store for you. 0:00:38.640 --> 0:00:38.760 Uh. 0:00:38.800 --> 0:00:43.000 We are going to be talking about fatherhood. Love it, 0:00:43.120 --> 0:00:44.599 Father's Day weekend. 0:00:44.800 --> 0:00:45.199 I love it. 0:00:45.280 --> 0:00:47.560 Sometimes I don't want to let me lie to y'all, 0:00:48.159 --> 0:00:50.280 my daughter to have me on the edge. Sometimes I 0:00:50.320 --> 0:00:52.600 love it. Most of the time, though, fatherhood go hard. 0:00:52.720 --> 0:00:56.240 Yes, indeed, we're talking about black fatherhood specifically. There's a 0:00:56.280 --> 0:00:59.760 lot of myths that you may have heard about black fathers, 0:00:59.800 --> 0:01:01.920 and we are here to let you know the truth 0:01:01.960 --> 0:01:03.600 and dispel a lot of those myths. Also, we're going 0:01:03.680 --> 0:01:08.120 to spend some time talking about the largest mass US deportation. 0:01:09.720 --> 0:01:12.200 We're sharing our way black history factor with our Mexican 0:01:12.240 --> 0:01:15.000 American brothers and sisters today. The first and foremost we're 0:01:15.000 --> 0:01:20.800 discussing a becoming a Better ally abba. Today's BABA sponsored 0:01:20.800 --> 0:01:23.880 by Unknown Union, the fashion how situated at the intersection 0:01:23.959 --> 0:01:27.440 of meaning, innovation and culture. More info check Unknown Union 0:01:27.600 --> 0:01:33.440 dot com. All Right today, Hold this from the Huffington Post. 0:01:33.480 --> 0:01:36.520 This is a really cool story. Florida college students rebuke 0:01:36.680 --> 0:01:40.039 Ron DeSantis by hosting their own graduation talk to me, 0:01:42.080 --> 0:01:44.880 all right, students said, New College of Florida, a small 0:01:44.880 --> 0:01:47.440 liberal arts school that Florida Governor Ron de Santis has 0:01:47.480 --> 0:01:50.280 sought to remake in his own image, say they'll host 0:01:50.360 --> 0:01:53.640 their own graduation ceremony on their own terms after the 0:01:53.680 --> 0:01:57.240 college invited Scott Atlas, a former Donald Trump advisor, to 0:01:57.240 --> 0:02:00.760 give the commencement speech. At the official ceremony, The Santis 0:02:00.840 --> 0:02:04.040 is stoked fury among New College students and national voters 0:02:04.040 --> 0:02:07.720 alike by leveraging a culture war on so called wokeness 0:02:08.639 --> 0:02:11.880 against schools and corporations across the state. He has focused 0:02:11.919 --> 0:02:14.720 his campaign on New College of Florida, a public college 0:02:14.960 --> 0:02:18.400 in Sarasota that he's been rebuilding as a bastion of 0:02:18.480 --> 0:02:21.920 conservative leadership. Many students want nothing to do with the 0:02:21.919 --> 0:02:24.360 man who's expected to run it or who's running against 0:02:24.400 --> 0:02:29.800 Trump for the GOP nomination or with his vision for 0:02:29.840 --> 0:02:34.480 the school. There's a quote the new administration that has 0:02:34.480 --> 0:02:37.320 spent the past four months attacking our students in community 0:02:37.320 --> 0:02:41.320 cannot in good face celebrate our graduating students and their accomplishments. 0:02:42.440 --> 0:02:45.680 Go fundme paid for the new graduation ceremony. Reads commencement 0:02:45.760 --> 0:02:48.240 is supposed to be a celebration of graduating students and 0:02:48.280 --> 0:02:49.440 the people who have shaped this. 0:02:49.440 --> 0:02:50.880 School to be what it is. 0:02:52.200 --> 0:02:53.800 And just so you know, the students have raised more 0:02:53.800 --> 0:02:58.320 than one hundred thousand dollars, which goes towards the venue, food, 0:02:58.360 --> 0:03:02.200 security and insurance, and transfer tition to and from the campus, 0:03:02.320 --> 0:03:08.399 according to the students go fundy page, and the fundraiser 0:03:08.440 --> 0:03:11.799 received a fifteen thousand dollars donation donation from Save New College, 0:03:11.800 --> 0:03:15.080 a coalition of students and alumni seek to perfect protect 0:03:15.120 --> 0:03:18.120 sorry the school from a hostile political takeover. So shout 0:03:18.120 --> 0:03:25.320 out to those students being forward thinking and writing their 0:03:25.360 --> 0:03:27.520 own story. I love that out to the allies that 0:03:27.680 --> 0:03:28.400 don't support it. 0:03:28.720 --> 0:03:34.079 Indeed, for sure, that's a that's a special one, all right. Fatherhood. 0:03:34.880 --> 0:03:38.680 First off, Happy Father's Day to all the fathers one time. 0:03:40.240 --> 0:03:44.160 Not sure y'all be doing fathers They bad though. Some 0:03:44.200 --> 0:03:45.680 of y'all don't even know what his Father's Day, like, 0:03:45.760 --> 0:03:50.320 his father's dead. Yes, yes, yeah, that's fair. That's very folk. 0:03:50.640 --> 0:03:53.160 Welcome to our lives. Mother's Day was popping. 0:03:53.320 --> 0:03:53.520 Yeah. 0:03:53.880 --> 0:03:56.520 I think I bought five dozen roses on mother That 0:03:56.560 --> 0:03:59.480 sounds right. I think I might get a gift certificate 0:03:59.520 --> 0:04:01.440 to the home Depo. I just I don't know that's 0:04:01.480 --> 0:04:04.160 all right though. Listen, man, maybe he's loved me though, 0:04:04.480 --> 0:04:05.640 that matters, that's. 0:04:05.840 --> 0:04:06.240 It, man. 0:04:06.360 --> 0:04:13.480 So yeah, real quick, I want to say something. We 0:04:13.480 --> 0:04:18.120 were watching a comedian and uh, I forget to forget 0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:18.800 his name. 0:04:19.600 --> 0:04:21.160 But he's a very funny comedian. 0:04:21.240 --> 0:04:25.119 He he gave us some statistics on Father's Day. He said, 0:04:25.400 --> 0:04:28.800 the most celebrated holiday in the world is Christmas. 0:04:29.080 --> 0:04:30.200 Checks out. 0:04:30.440 --> 0:04:33.200 Second most celebrated holiday in the world is Mother's Day. 0:04:33.839 --> 0:04:35.560 Checks out. 0:04:35.720 --> 0:04:39.800 And then he said the twentieth most celebrated holiday is 0:04:41.200 --> 0:04:41.880 Father's Day. 0:04:42.040 --> 0:04:44.000 His name is al Sadiq Al Sadiq. 0:04:44.120 --> 0:04:48.640 Yeah, so the twentieth most celebrated holiday is Father's Day. 0:04:49.520 --> 0:04:51.600 And you know, we're not sure when you're listening to us, 0:04:52.200 --> 0:04:55.320 just because so many stations, you know, Eric are show 0:04:55.320 --> 0:04:58.400 at different times, but we hope you're listening on Father's 0:04:58.440 --> 0:05:00.560 Day or prior to Father's Day because it's hit different. 0:05:01.680 --> 0:05:04.560 He made a point of saying, I can't name eighteen 0:05:04.600 --> 0:05:06.440 other holidays. 0:05:05.800 --> 0:05:09.880 So I can't name eighteen holidays too, And Father's Day 0:05:09.960 --> 0:05:13.960 is ranked number twenty, ranked twentieth. I'm sorry, where's Mother's 0:05:14.040 --> 0:05:16.719 Day rank second? And what's number one? 0:05:17.040 --> 0:05:17.400 Christmas? 0:05:17.520 --> 0:05:21.600 Of course, Jesus Mama, and the way down there and 0:05:21.640 --> 0:05:22.880 then get back to you dad. 0:05:23.160 --> 0:05:25.039 So and then he said something that was really funny. 0:05:25.080 --> 0:05:28.880 He said, Arbor Day, it's thirteen. Shout out to Ann Arbor, 0:05:28.960 --> 0:05:30.640 Michigan man. He said, I don't even know why for 0:05:30.680 --> 0:05:32.640 the trees. He's like, I don't know what Arbor Day is, 0:05:32.680 --> 0:05:35.800 but yeah, it's a holiday about trees. It's thirteenth and 0:05:35.880 --> 0:05:39.760 Father's Day is twentieth, so it's not even it's not 0:05:39.800 --> 0:05:40.760 even right behind. 0:05:40.480 --> 0:05:42.680 The tree Arbor Day, man. 0:05:43.120 --> 0:05:49.040 But being a father is a beautiful experience, and that's 0:05:49.040 --> 0:05:50.000 what we want to talk about. 0:05:50.000 --> 0:05:52.640 That thankless, Yes, very beautiful, very audience. 0:05:53.040 --> 0:05:59.240 But for black people in this country, we have been 0:05:59.320 --> 0:06:08.600 dealing with a falsehood that is very dangerous. Now I 0:06:08.960 --> 0:06:13.760 want to make sure that I say this fatherlessness is 0:06:13.839 --> 0:06:20.520 a thing in black households and in white households, and 0:06:20.560 --> 0:06:25.720 in Hispanic every single order across the boarder, across the 0:06:26.200 --> 0:06:29.000 it is a thing. There are households that where there 0:06:29.080 --> 0:06:31.520 is not a black father. There a households where there's 0:06:31.520 --> 0:06:33.640 not a black mother. There are a household with there 0:06:33.680 --> 0:06:36.640 is not a white father, a lot of them, and 0:06:36.680 --> 0:06:37.839 a lot of householders there is. 0:06:37.839 --> 0:06:38.479 Not a white mother. 0:06:38.720 --> 0:06:43.080 These are universal things that do happen. But for some reason, 0:06:43.560 --> 0:06:49.240 there's this myth that black people are disproportionately unavailable to 0:06:49.320 --> 0:06:49.919 our children. 0:06:50.240 --> 0:06:55.320 Of my brother, you guys don't even understand. His grace 0:06:56.600 --> 0:07:02.880 has no bounds, he said. For some reason, this myth 0:07:02.960 --> 0:07:06.800 exists like that reason, it's some sort of mystery. 0:07:07.640 --> 0:07:09.280 But I just he's such a professional. 0:07:09.480 --> 0:07:12.440 He's so good at this thing that we do, telling 0:07:12.560 --> 0:07:14.480 stories the way that we tell them, that's compelling to 0:07:14.520 --> 0:07:16.200 you as an audience, that gives you something to look 0:07:16.240 --> 0:07:18.920 forward to maybe three minutes from now. He's so much 0:07:18.960 --> 0:07:21.400 better at that than me. I'd be so mad on 0:07:21.400 --> 0:07:25.000 this radio, Joel, you have no idea. I'm trying to 0:07:25.040 --> 0:07:29.200 smile and laugh through it, but I'd be so bad whoa. 0:07:30.440 --> 0:07:34.360 Well, for some reason, there's good news here. There's good 0:07:34.360 --> 0:07:39.520 news here. Okay, let me let me start us off 0:07:39.560 --> 0:07:43.640 with some information. Okay, this is this. I pulled this 0:07:43.680 --> 0:07:46.400 one from Fatherhood dot Go. Now, first off, I implore you, 0:07:46.600 --> 0:07:49.360 as our listener, please go and google this. 0:07:49.600 --> 0:07:50.960 We say google a lot of stuff. 0:07:51.120 --> 0:07:53.080 If we say google it, google it so that way 0:07:53.120 --> 0:07:55.320 you don't feel like it's our biased opinion. 0:07:55.480 --> 0:07:58.200 Right. But this free. There's no fund you gotta pay 0:07:58.240 --> 0:07:58.440 for that. 0:07:58.560 --> 0:08:00.520 Yeah, and if you do, you know us a little 0:08:00.520 --> 0:08:03.080 medics and shoot us a DM We'll get you together. 0:08:03.200 --> 0:08:04.480 Yeah, we'll take care of you. 0:08:05.440 --> 0:08:08.320 But I want to make sure that this one you 0:08:08.360 --> 0:08:10.120 actually google it so you can see and you can 0:08:10.160 --> 0:08:13.640 read the articles and you can see the data. Okay, 0:08:13.680 --> 0:08:15.280 but I'm gonna I'm going to share a little bit. 0:08:15.800 --> 0:08:19.680 First off, a a a very very compelling study. I 0:08:19.720 --> 0:08:22.400 think it took place in twenty thirteen and was published 0:08:22.400 --> 0:08:24.960 in twenty fourteen somewhere around there from the Center for 0:08:25.040 --> 0:08:29.240 Disease Control the CDC, which is a United States government agency, 0:08:29.840 --> 0:08:32.040 and they attract the health of. 0:08:32.200 --> 0:08:34.640 And note that the dot govnfatherhood dot gov. 0:08:34.679 --> 0:08:36.800 That you can't just yet, that you have to be 0:08:36.840 --> 0:08:38.920 a government agency because you want to right. 0:08:39.360 --> 0:08:42.080 So these are these are official sources that were that 0:08:42.160 --> 0:08:45.400 were citing, but I implore you to look this up yourself, Okay. 0:08:45.840 --> 0:08:50.200 Fatherhood dot Gov statistics show that close to seventy percent 0:08:50.240 --> 0:08:54.280 of all BLUR births to black mothers are non marital, okay, 0:08:55.679 --> 0:08:59.720 giving rise to the stereotype that black fathers are largely 0:08:59.800 --> 0:09:02.839 at Okay. So, for folks that maybe didn't follow that, 0:09:04.520 --> 0:09:07.520 seventy percent of all births to Black mothers non marital 0:09:07.600 --> 0:09:11.000 means seventy percent of the births to black women, the 0:09:11.080 --> 0:09:13.680 women are not married at the time that the birth 0:09:13.720 --> 0:09:18.439 takes place, Okay, and that is what helped give rise 0:09:18.520 --> 0:09:21.840 to the stereotype that black fathers are largely absent. Now, 0:09:22.040 --> 0:09:24.200 Qube made a point, he said that I said, for 0:09:24.240 --> 0:09:26.600 some reason, I know the exact reason. I know when 0:09:26.600 --> 0:09:29.559 it started. I know that it was the Democrats behind it. 0:09:29.800 --> 0:09:31.680 I know all this stuff because obviously I've had to 0:09:31.679 --> 0:09:34.360 do the research. But and we've talked about this on 0:09:34.400 --> 0:09:43.760 the show before. But these myths have grown out of 0:09:46.920 --> 0:09:53.760 these So how about this. People extrapolate different conclusions, They 0:09:53.880 --> 0:09:58.720 draw different conclusions based on this data, and those conclusions 0:09:58.760 --> 0:10:01.920 that they draw are are not indeed based in the 0:10:01.960 --> 0:10:05.160 real data, but there is a loose connection. Like we've 0:10:05.200 --> 0:10:09.920 illustrated here, unwed mothers means that there's no fathers in 0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:12.200 the home, right, But what I'm going to show you 0:10:12.240 --> 0:10:16.120 now is that that's not true, so I'll keep reading. However, 0:10:16.880 --> 0:10:19.679 while black fathers are less likely than white and Hispanic 0:10:19.720 --> 0:10:23.199 fathers to marry their child's mother, many black fathers continue 0:10:23.240 --> 0:10:27.280 to parent through cohabitation and visitation, providing caretaking, financial and 0:10:27.280 --> 0:10:31.600 in kind support. Okay, now, I don't have this in 0:10:31.600 --> 0:10:34.240 front of me because I didn't plan on making this tangent, 0:10:34.320 --> 0:10:36.200 but I want to make sure that I give you 0:10:36.240 --> 0:10:40.840 some history here, So don't hold me to this, but 0:10:41.400 --> 0:10:43.200 I'm going to start you on your path if you 0:10:43.360 --> 0:10:46.560 our listener wants to indeed research this further the way 0:10:46.559 --> 0:10:48.679 that I remember it off the top of my head. 0:10:49.559 --> 0:10:52.439 In the might have been coming out of the fifties 0:10:52.440 --> 0:10:56.000 into the sixties, there was a study that had taken 0:10:56.080 --> 0:11:06.520 place to determine the back of wealth in black households. Again, 0:11:06.880 --> 0:11:10.840 I'm just kind of doing this from memory and rather 0:11:10.880 --> 0:11:14.840 than looking at the facts, rather than looking at how 0:11:15.280 --> 0:11:18.320 the let's go all the way back, the legacy of 0:11:19.360 --> 0:11:22.680 Jim Crow, the legacy of black codes. 0:11:23.920 --> 0:11:26.600 And sure, sure, but. 0:11:26.400 --> 0:11:30.080 But just in this country, and in this country, in 0:11:30.120 --> 0:11:33.920 this country post slavery, when people could have jobs, the 0:11:34.040 --> 0:11:36.920 legacy of you know, okay, you cannot have a job 0:11:37.000 --> 0:11:39.360 unless you're working for a white man and they can 0:11:39.400 --> 0:11:40.200 pay you what they want. 0:11:40.280 --> 0:11:42.240 You cannot sue, and blah blah blah. It's hard to 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:42.719 build low. 0:11:43.200 --> 0:11:46.800 And then of course in Jim Crow South, you know, 0:11:46.840 --> 0:11:48.520 if you have a black community where you have a 0:11:48.520 --> 0:11:49.959 doctor and you have a teacher in school house and 0:11:50.000 --> 0:11:51.880 blah blah blah, and these communities are attacked when they 0:11:51.920 --> 0:11:54.600 get too big. You know, it's hard to build enough 0:11:54.640 --> 0:11:57.320 wealth and then pass it on. These these properties were 0:11:57.720 --> 0:12:01.559 claimed by white people and you know, rebuilt in their 0:12:01.640 --> 0:12:03.920 names and blah blah blah. So you know, it's hard 0:12:04.000 --> 0:12:04.960 to get that well started. 0:12:04.960 --> 0:12:07.160 But then we fast forward. Let's go to. 0:12:09.600 --> 0:12:13.559 You know, the the Great Depression and how the welfare 0:12:13.559 --> 0:12:16.160 programs were not designed to accommodate black people. 0:12:17.320 --> 0:12:19.840 Let's go to of course, redlining. 0:12:19.880 --> 0:12:22.280 We talk about that a lot and how real estate 0:12:23.280 --> 0:12:25.480 was something that propped up the wealth of white people 0:12:25.480 --> 0:12:27.560 and black people were not able to enjoy that. We 0:12:27.640 --> 0:12:30.360 can talk about the GI Bill and how that was 0:12:30.400 --> 0:12:33.400 given to white people and largely withheld from black people 0:12:33.640 --> 0:12:37.160 who serve this country as a means of getting wealth 0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:40.840 and starting lives and building. And there's a ton of 0:12:40.880 --> 0:12:46.480 other things. Some of them are actually documented with the 0:12:46.720 --> 0:12:52.400 racist terminology from the day. But these are government programs. 0:12:52.200 --> 0:12:53.360 There's a whole list of them. 0:12:53.400 --> 0:12:53.559 Right. 0:12:54.080 --> 0:12:55.960 So rather than looking at all of these things and 0:12:56.000 --> 0:12:59.360 then saying, well, that's clearly the reason why there's disproportionate 0:12:59.400 --> 0:13:02.040 wealth there, they tried to put the blame on black people. Again, 0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:04.520 this was a Democratic back study. So the Democrats did this. 0:13:04.600 --> 0:13:04.920 I know that. 0:13:04.960 --> 0:13:08.880 I'll see that entirely to my Republican or Conservative brothers 0:13:08.880 --> 0:13:12.240 and sisters, I know where it comes from. Rather than taking, 0:13:12.600 --> 0:13:15.679 rather than this country taking that party at the time 0:13:16.720 --> 0:13:20.439 they were, well, you're right, they switched more after the sixties. 0:13:20.440 --> 0:13:21.120 That's fair fairpoint. 0:13:21.160 --> 0:13:24.360 Party at the time held the position that the Republican 0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:25.280 Party hosts today. 0:13:25.320 --> 0:13:28.440 Fair points, it's not apples to apples faint. 0:13:29.400 --> 0:13:35.960 But rather than this country taking responsibility for those things 0:13:36.080 --> 0:13:38.079 up to that point, remember we haven't even gotten to 0:13:38.120 --> 0:13:40.720 the modern era where we're talking about the war on drugs, 0:13:40.720 --> 0:13:44.680 and you know, the prison industrial complex and the school 0:13:44.720 --> 0:13:47.240 to prison pipeline, and we're not talking about you know, the. 0:13:47.600 --> 0:13:48.000 You know all. 0:13:49.320 --> 0:13:51.040 Yeah, but we're not talking about that yet, you know, 0:13:51.080 --> 0:13:52.880 because we had to see those in a modern light. 0:13:52.880 --> 0:13:55.480 We're just talking about what happened back then. Okay. So 0:13:55.640 --> 0:13:58.280 rather than this country saying, you know what, we have 0:13:58.400 --> 0:13:58.920 stood in. 0:13:58.800 --> 0:14:02.440 The way, and we've allowed our citizens to stand in 0:14:02.480 --> 0:14:08.040 the way of black people gaining the same level of 0:14:08.080 --> 0:14:10.719 wealth or at least a decent level of wealth, so 0:14:10.760 --> 0:14:14.400 that they can be self determined, more self determined than 0:14:14.440 --> 0:14:18.280 they are. Rather than accepting the responsibility, this country rather 0:14:18.840 --> 0:14:22.640 put together this study and drew these bogus conclusions, and 0:14:22.760 --> 0:14:25.240 part of those conclusions were to say that the black 0:14:25.280 --> 0:14:27.560 fathers were not in the home. Now, the reason for 0:14:27.600 --> 0:14:32.920 that is because black men and back then didn't marry 0:14:33.320 --> 0:14:39.200 their spouse legally, because a single woman qualified for more assistance. Remember, 0:14:39.200 --> 0:14:44.440 we're talking about the legacy of the Great Depression. We're 0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:46.600 talking about the lego. These are very, very poor people 0:14:46.600 --> 0:14:49.440 that have a hard go at it. So whatever opportunities 0:14:49.440 --> 0:14:51.440 they can get, they'll get it. Now, that's not to 0:14:51.440 --> 0:14:53.840 say one hundred percent of black women mark that they 0:14:53.840 --> 0:14:57.320 were unmarried, you know what I mean. But the disproportionate 0:15:00.120 --> 0:15:04.920 data was the result of that condition. That was just 0:15:04.960 --> 0:15:06.920 it was a survival tactic we have to. 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:12.200 And also a kind of grasp from thin air conclusion 0:15:12.280 --> 0:15:17.160 that unmarried meant absent exactly exactly may must not be there. 0:15:17.240 --> 0:15:20.200 That's what the next part of the reading suggests. No, no, 0:15:20.200 --> 0:15:22.040 you're I'm glad you're on it. I'm glad you're on it. 0:15:22.120 --> 0:15:25.200 On top of that, I'm glad you're on it because again, 0:15:26.480 --> 0:15:31.360 I grew up in a world where black fathers were present. 0:15:31.720 --> 0:15:35.320 There were some black fathers that were not present, but critically, 0:15:35.440 --> 0:15:36.840 there were some white fathers that. 0:15:36.760 --> 0:15:38.920 Were not present. There were some Hispanic fathers that were 0:15:38.920 --> 0:15:42.480 not present. There were some Asian fathers that were not present. 0:15:43.280 --> 0:15:47.120 They either died, went to jail, just a deflected flake, 0:15:47.240 --> 0:15:49.680 started new family, whatever these things happened, or. 0:15:50.160 --> 0:15:54.080 Broke up with the mom because sometimes relationships don't be 0:15:54.120 --> 0:15:59.240 working out that sometimes people be tripping. It is not 0:15:59.520 --> 0:16:01.880 more complicated than that. In a lot of these cases, 0:16:01.920 --> 0:16:07.240 sometimes mama and or daddy's tripping. So the other one 0:16:07.320 --> 0:16:09.040 was like, Okay, me and the kids gonna go over 0:16:09.080 --> 0:16:12.440 here you can still be dad. But you and I 0:16:12.640 --> 0:16:14.920 just Saint Vibran. So I'm going to get to that too. 0:16:15.800 --> 0:16:20.240 Now the thing is which group has unfairly had this 0:16:20.480 --> 0:16:24.080 label assigned to them that they're dead be dads? 0:16:24.120 --> 0:16:27.680 Oh that would be black people. Right now, My lived 0:16:27.720 --> 0:16:31.560 experience doesn't support that, nor does the data. I'll continue. 0:16:31.560 --> 0:16:33.400 I was going to say, according to the data, no 0:16:33.440 --> 0:16:34.000 one's does. 0:16:34.120 --> 0:16:39.400 Yeah, So now I'm gonna read a bit from Newsweek. 0:16:41.320 --> 0:16:46.440 People conflate marriage statistics with fatherlessness when it comes to 0:16:46.480 --> 0:16:51.440 black dads specifically, most in fact live with their children. 0:16:52.360 --> 0:16:55.640 A c C study found that about two point five 0:16:55.680 --> 0:16:58.840 million black fathers were living with their children and about 0:16:58.840 --> 0:17:02.120 one point seven were officially living apart from them. Okay, 0:17:02.400 --> 0:17:07.600 so the majority, vast majority live in the house with 0:17:07.640 --> 0:17:08.199 their children. 0:17:08.680 --> 0:17:08.920 Right. 0:17:09.160 --> 0:17:12.160 So this myth, this pervasive myth that's never been backed 0:17:12.200 --> 0:17:15.800 by any data other than it didn't have to be 0:17:15.920 --> 0:17:18.520 who qualifies for Welford, So it didn't have to. 0:17:18.440 --> 0:17:21.760 Be right when you when you list statistics, you know, 0:17:21.920 --> 0:17:26.520 kind of blind statistics to an audience, this being the 0:17:26.680 --> 0:17:28.760 entire country at our time inclined to believe it. They're 0:17:28.800 --> 0:17:30.719 not only inclined to believe it, but they want to. 0:17:30.800 --> 0:17:33.240 Like I said, this country has always positioned the black 0:17:33.240 --> 0:17:35.720 man as the enemy. So of course they're not there 0:17:35.720 --> 0:17:38.000 for their children. Of Course they're dead beats. Of course 0:17:38.000 --> 0:17:41.479 they're absent. It's just the nature of black men. So 0:17:41.520 --> 0:17:44.760 you can you condition people to readily accept information like 0:17:44.760 --> 0:17:48.320 that without doing any additional follow up research to prove 0:17:48.359 --> 0:17:49.800 you wrong. They don't want you to be wrong if 0:17:49.840 --> 0:17:52.440 they want to lean into that idea of being true, 0:17:52.440 --> 0:17:57.120 so they readily receive that type of confirmation biased information. 0:17:57.320 --> 0:17:59.080 I want to take a moment here because you bring 0:17:59.160 --> 0:18:05.240 me the thought this conversation about reparations is not necessarily 0:18:05.280 --> 0:18:10.760 a conversation about reparations for slavery. I said something a 0:18:10.800 --> 0:18:14.920 moment ago. I said that this country has a responsibility 0:18:15.520 --> 0:18:18.960 to her black citizens. That is not to say this 0:18:19.080 --> 0:18:22.080 country needs to hand out free stuff to black people. 0:18:22.560 --> 0:18:26.080 That is to say that this country has actively harmed 0:18:26.800 --> 0:18:29.359 and stood in the way of the progress of black people. 0:18:30.280 --> 0:18:34.119 And now often enough it's our more conservative brothers and 0:18:34.160 --> 0:18:36.879 sisters on the right that throw their hands up and say, hey, look, man, 0:18:37.000 --> 0:18:39.240 that was a long time ago. We were all born 0:18:39.920 --> 0:18:43.440 in the early eighties and the late seventies or whatever. 0:18:43.720 --> 0:18:45.640 We all had a similar go at it that don't 0:18:45.640 --> 0:18:47.560 bring that stuff up, but they don't look at the 0:18:47.640 --> 0:18:50.720 legacy of it. They don't look at how those false narratives, 0:18:50.720 --> 0:18:55.200 those falsehoods have influenced public opinion. At white people's public 0:18:55.280 --> 0:18:58.640 opinion in particular, but black people's public opinion too. 0:18:58.720 --> 0:19:02.919 Yeah, absolutely grew up hearing the fatherless who meet it 0:19:03.440 --> 0:19:07.159 and my father wasn't there, So for you, it was 0:19:07.280 --> 0:19:11.400 like a real So then I knew, before I knew 0:19:11.400 --> 0:19:12.760 what I wanted to be when I grew up, what 0:19:12.880 --> 0:19:14.600 career choice I wanted that I wanted to be a 0:19:14.680 --> 0:19:17.240 dad because I wanted to make sure that what I 0:19:17.359 --> 0:19:20.600 was feeling was not felt by someone else. So I 0:19:20.640 --> 0:19:22.400 wanted to be a dad so that I could be 0:19:22.760 --> 0:19:26.480 that present, loving thing that I craved and missed as 0:19:26.480 --> 0:19:29.720 a child, you know what I mean. So, and people 0:19:29.760 --> 0:19:33.440 around me who had a similar experience very much believed 0:19:33.520 --> 0:19:38.680 the idea that fathers were absent, even though I had 0:19:38.800 --> 0:19:41.920 multiple neighbors whose dads I essentially grew up with because 0:19:41.960 --> 0:19:45.160 they were very present. You know, you take that one 0:19:45.200 --> 0:19:46.600 example and you blow it up and. 0:19:47.040 --> 0:19:50.639 Then you put it in are going to be that 0:19:50.680 --> 0:19:53.520 their biases will be confirmed by this data that you're providing, 0:19:53.560 --> 0:19:54.439 whether it's accurate or not. 0:19:54.440 --> 0:19:57.000 You only need an example to point to ye. 0:19:57.720 --> 0:20:02.320 So I understand that, And I kind of went through 0:20:02.320 --> 0:20:05.240 a similar thing because when I was younger, my mother 0:20:05.320 --> 0:20:08.440 and my father they split up and my mother moved 0:20:08.440 --> 0:20:12.399 to Arizona. My father stayed in California, right, So, growing up, 0:20:12.400 --> 0:20:15.479 then you start hearing that, you know, black men are 0:20:15.720 --> 0:20:17.640 horrible fathers and they leave their kids and this. 0:20:17.600 --> 0:20:17.720 And that and that. 0:20:17.840 --> 0:20:21.000 It shout out to my mom for never perpetuating that 0:20:21.080 --> 0:20:23.920 states type and never saying anything bad about my father, 0:20:24.080 --> 0:20:27.119 never like beating him down to lift herself up. She 0:20:27.200 --> 0:20:28.879 let me love him, She let me miss him, she 0:20:28.960 --> 0:20:31.439 let me admire him. She even let him break my 0:20:31.480 --> 0:20:35.080 heart right, She let me get my hopes up because 0:20:35.080 --> 0:20:37.040 she wanted me to believe in fatherhood. She wanted me 0:20:37.080 --> 0:20:39.000 to love my dad even if he wasn't perfect, and 0:20:39.000 --> 0:20:41.760 even though even if things weren't great between them, she 0:20:41.840 --> 0:20:42.600 still wanted. 0:20:42.400 --> 0:20:44.480 To allow him to be the hero that I wanted. 0:20:44.280 --> 0:20:45.840 Him to be. So shout out to my mom for 0:20:45.960 --> 0:20:50.320 just being incredible in general, but specifically in that case, 0:20:50.359 --> 0:20:56.840 for letting me develop a positive thoughts and enjoy for 0:20:56.920 --> 0:20:59.280 the idea of becoming a dad. One dad didn't resent 0:20:59.320 --> 0:21:01.080 my father because he was going I just wanted to 0:21:01.080 --> 0:21:03.040 make sure that when I had the opportunity to become 0:21:03.080 --> 0:21:05.359 a dad, that I was incredible at it. And I 0:21:05.400 --> 0:21:06.760 don't know if I'm living up to that, but I 0:21:06.760 --> 0:21:08.920 am trying as hard as I possibly can too. 0:21:09.200 --> 0:21:11.720 I think that you're what you're saying. I think that's 0:21:11.880 --> 0:21:15.680 probably more commonplace than you might know. For people where 0:21:15.680 --> 0:21:17.920 their dad is not present, that experience might be a 0:21:17.920 --> 0:21:19.800 little bit more commonplace, you know, because I think that 0:21:19.840 --> 0:21:25.160 we all recognize how fatherhood impacts children. This is another 0:21:25.200 --> 0:21:26.919 thing that I know. Again, I'm doing this for memory, 0:21:27.119 --> 0:21:33.320 but please look it up. Outcomes for children that grow 0:21:33.400 --> 0:21:37.200 up in a single parent household where the mother is 0:21:37.240 --> 0:21:42.560 the single parent are way worse overall than outcomes for 0:21:42.640 --> 0:21:45.000 children that grow up in a two parent household with 0:21:45.040 --> 0:21:47.600 a mother and a father. I think everybody can agree 0:21:47.600 --> 0:21:50.600 with that, right, Having a mother and a father and 0:21:50.600 --> 0:21:53.760