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Speaker 1: Hello, hey, Lyle.

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Speaker 2: How's it going? Man?

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Speaker 1: What's up?

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Speaker 3: Is this?

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Speaker 1: Max?

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Speaker 2: This is this is.

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Speaker 1: What is happening with you?

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Speaker 2: Well, when I first dialed in, I was down thirty

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Speaker 2: thousand dollars on the day. I'm a bit of a

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Speaker 2: cryptocurrency trader and or degenerate gambler you could call me.

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Speaker 2: And I'm now only down ten thousand on the day.

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Speaker 2: So since I've been on hold for an hour, I've

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Speaker 2: gotten twenty thousand dollars of today's loss is back.

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Speaker 1: All right, So to kind of I have not one

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Speaker 1: hundred percent sure what you just said, But lifetime are

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Speaker 1: you Where are we at.

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Speaker 2: In casino gambling? I'm down millions of dollars uh. With

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Speaker 2: cryptocurrency and investing, I'm up a good amount. What's a

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Speaker 2: good amount, two to three million in the last year

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Speaker 2: before that? Maybe half that?

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Speaker 1: All right? So you're currently sitting on that's a life.

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Speaker 1: I see. You're currently sitting on like two million dollars.

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Speaker 2: Hey, I have about two to three million. It's in

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Speaker 2: crypto currency. But I I day trade in that sometimes

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Speaker 2: in a week or two I can swing six figures easily,

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Speaker 2: maybe more.

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Speaker 1: The day trading doesn't make sense to me. Because don't

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Speaker 1: you have to pay like every time you sell off,

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Speaker 1: don't you have to pay taxes?

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Speaker 2: No, you don't. With well, with cryptocurrency that it's kind

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Speaker 2: of like a uncharted water is in a bit of

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Speaker 2: a gray area. You can use. You can trade into

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Speaker 2: these as other assets that represent, you know, the US dollar,

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Speaker 2: but that are not actual US dollars. They're called stable coins.

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Speaker 1: Gambling is an interesting addiction to me. I'm excited to

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Speaker 1: talk to you. I see you. We're doing you're doing

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Speaker 1: the casino.

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Speaker 2: I've been gambling. I've been gambling forever. I'm thirty four

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Speaker 2: years old. When I was fifteen years old, I bought

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Speaker 2: a blackjack table from a friend's older brother, and I

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Speaker 2: was dealing that like in the movie boiler Room. Remember

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Speaker 2: that actor I forget his name, But I was dealing

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Speaker 2: out of my house in high school, making a few

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Speaker 2: hundred dollars every week from friends.

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Speaker 1: And how long you said, you're a professional of this,

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Speaker 1: so you don't have it, so you don't have any

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Speaker 1: other job?

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Speaker 2: No, no other job.

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Speaker 1: How long have you not had any other job?

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Speaker 2: I worked jobs on and off for short periods of

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Speaker 2: time in my twenties. But when I kind of got

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Speaker 2: a taste for big wins. It's kind of ruins the

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Speaker 2: way I value, you know, a dollar. It can discuss

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Speaker 2: some people the way I look at money kind of

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Speaker 2: look at money just as units, seeking to acquire more

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Speaker 2: of these units, so they totally disconnected emotionally from the

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Speaker 2: value of a dollar to most people.

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Speaker 1: Interesting. Okay, So with that being said that you look

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Speaker 1: at money as units, you're totally disconnected to the value

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Speaker 1: of a dollar. Tell me what do you do with money?

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Speaker 1: Do you spend any money?

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Speaker 2: I do? I do. I have a girlfriend who I

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Speaker 2: live with, and you know, I treat herd of things

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Speaker 2: and we go on trips and it's nice. One of

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Speaker 2: the benefits of this lifestyle is being totally free time

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Speaker 2: wise to do whatever I want. But it can also

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Speaker 2: be like my you know, a double edged sword, and

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Speaker 2: I can get so involved in these markets that I

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Speaker 2: forget to enjoy life even though I have the freedom

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Speaker 2: to go do whatever I want.

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Speaker 1: If that makes me, no, that makes total sense, right,

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Speaker 1: because you're I mean, would you like you know, I

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Speaker 1: want to hear from you, and I I say me

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Speaker 1: putting words in your mouth, But would you consider yourself

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Speaker 1: like a gambling addict?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I would consider myself a savage, savage addict in general.

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Speaker 2: But but but I used to use drugs. But I'm

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Speaker 2: thirty four now I haven't in about half a decade.

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Speaker 2: Whatever I find stimuli, I've become addicted to it. But

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Speaker 2: that's been as way far back as I can remember,

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Speaker 2: since I was, you know, under ten years old.

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Speaker 1: Right. See, it's interesting to me because you sorry, go ahead.

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Speaker 2: No, no, I'm just saying my addict, whatever stimuli or

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Speaker 2: phase that I go through. Although gambling is now to

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Speaker 2: two plus decades, different forms of gambling for two plus decades,

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Speaker 2: there's always I'm always I'm just an addict, like you know,

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Speaker 2: I'm always searching for the next stimuli.

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Speaker 1: It's interesting to me because you know, you have, you know,

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Speaker 1: millions of dollars which frees you from the chains of

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Speaker 1: like a nine to five job, which you know a

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Speaker 1: lot of people need to be able to pay for

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Speaker 1: fucking eating food and drinking water and living. But you

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Speaker 1: are still chained to the markets. So even though you

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Speaker 1: have freedom in some areas, illitated by a mental hold

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Speaker 1: in other areas, which is an interesting particular.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, I'll give you an example, and my priorities and like,

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Speaker 2: are so out of whack. Here as an example, if

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Speaker 2: I have to go do something for someone else or

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Speaker 2: for myself, or travel somewhere, or I'm chronically tardy and

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Speaker 2: I have no concept of time, and other people think

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Speaker 2: that I'm either lazier don't care, and maybe they're right.

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Speaker 2: But for example, if I if I have like trades

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Speaker 2: in and overnight trades crypto currency trades twenty four hours

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Speaker 2: a day, right, then the market never stops for crypto.

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Speaker 2: I will literally I'm biologically programs with an alarm system

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Speaker 2: to wake up several points throughout each night, like as in,

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Speaker 2: wake up at three am, check out these four positions,

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Speaker 2: adjust if needed, wake back up at five am. But

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Speaker 2: if I need to get up for like a job,

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Speaker 2: or to do something that's quote unquote responsible or non

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Speaker 2: related to these addictions you know this life or profession

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Speaker 2: or addiction, whicheveryone you want to call it, then I

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Speaker 2: you know, I have no care and can't wake up

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Speaker 2: and we'll sleep through alarms and yeah, my priorities are

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Speaker 2: all out of black.

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Speaker 1: And you say it's been like this for years, like

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Speaker 1: since you were fifty.

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Speaker 2: As long as I can remember. Yeah, I mean I

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Speaker 2: see I see. I see it twice a week. I

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Speaker 2: have like a one hour FaceTime with a with a

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Speaker 2: renowned like addiction specialist therapist UH based out of New

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Speaker 2: York City. We do it on FaceTime since COVID. But he,

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Speaker 2: I mean, he helps me in ways, but I feel

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Speaker 2: like I'm unhelpable in many ways. It's just like learning.

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Speaker 2: It's the nature of my beast, if that makes sense.

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Speaker 1: So tell me about these FaceTime sessions you have with

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Speaker 1: this guy. What kinds of things does he tell you?

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Speaker 2: We we end up talking about the markets for about

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Speaker 2: half of every session or longer. That's that's usually an

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Speaker 2: inevitable outcome of almost every session. But I mean we

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Speaker 2: try to focus on on reminding me to stay grounded

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Speaker 2: with things like physical exercise, focusing you know, time and

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Speaker 2: energy and attention on my girlfriend, who who I neglect

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Speaker 2: sometimes because of you know, my profession.

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Speaker 1: And have you told this guy that you FaceTime with?

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Speaker 1: Have you told him you know your position about how

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Speaker 1: you feel unhelpable? And if you have, what does he

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Speaker 1: say in response to that?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, he he commends me on the progress

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Speaker 2: that I've made, But sometimes I think he's giving me

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Speaker 2: too much of the cup half full, you know, I get.

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Speaker 2: I guess my I'm thirty four now. My twenties were

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Speaker 2: a little bit more chaotic, you know, like in and

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Speaker 2: out of casina. I have crazy stories about like living

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Speaker 2: in Las Vegas for two years comped like three hundred

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Speaker 2: out of three hundred and sixty five days in Las

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Speaker 2: Vegas casina. Those and crazy stories just living living life

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Speaker 2: in a fast play that sometimes outsiders think it seems

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Speaker 2: like it would be fun to live like that, but

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Speaker 2: I promise you it's not.

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Speaker 1: So.

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Speaker 2: I think he kind of commends me for all. Right. Now,

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Speaker 2: I have my office in my house with my girlfriend,

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Speaker 2: and I've evolved to some extent. It's not like I'm

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Speaker 2: running around the world in and out of casinos like

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Speaker 2: I used to when I played poker for a living

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Speaker 2: and did other things.

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Speaker 1: Well, that makes sense to me that he would commend

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Speaker 1: you for that, because I mean, you were at this

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Speaker 1: point that you're describing that's very bad, and you're thirty

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Speaker 1: four now. I don't know how many years ago this was,

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Speaker 1: but you are on a if you take that time

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Speaker 1: and you take this time, you were on an upward

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Speaker 1: trajectory toward I guess you could call it a healing

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Speaker 1: or or towards being in a less fucked up crazy state.

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Speaker 1: So it makes sense so that you're on the oppert

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Speaker 1: and back.

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Speaker 2: Then I would mix in hardcore drugs ps. I would

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Speaker 2: mix in hardcore drugs to my lifestyle and existence back then,

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Speaker 2: which has been at least five or six years since

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Speaker 2: I've dabbled in that, in.

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Speaker 1: That wrong what what is the what? What is it?

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Speaker 1: What is the lowest point that you've been at? You

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Speaker 1: would say.

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Speaker 2: The lowest point was I'm trying to think maybe getting

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Speaker 2: arrested in Las Vegas for a frog like a fraudulent

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Speaker 2: charge on a hotel room under the influence of meth.

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Speaker 2: I think that might be a lull mm hmm.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So you got from there to now you have

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Speaker 1: the house and the girlfriends, and uh you sound like

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Speaker 1: I mean, you sound like you're still doing a lot

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Speaker 1: of you know, kind of crazy stuff, but that at

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Speaker 1: least you are living a somewhat normal life around it.

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Speaker 2: No drugs. Nicotine is the only you know, the vape

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Speaker 2: is the only thing. I'm kind of a physical substance

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Speaker 2: I'm still addicted to.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the time about your girlfriend, had you meet her?

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Speaker 2: I met her in Las Vegas, U, And I kid

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Speaker 2: you not. Around the time of that low that I

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Speaker 2: just referred to, she had come to visit me in

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Speaker 2: Las Vegles. I had a friend of mine fly her

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Speaker 2: and his girlfriend who's who's her best friend out to

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Speaker 2: Las Vegas to meet me. And I've been in Las

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Speaker 2: Vegas for eight months when they came to meet me.

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Speaker 2: And do you remember in the in the Matrix movie,

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Speaker 2: I can't remember which one it was, but Neo and

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Speaker 2: all of them are in the Nebukaneza. They're in the

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Speaker 2: ship in like the scorched futuristic world with all the

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Speaker 2: robots control and they're on that ship of just like

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Speaker 2: the ruined Earth, and the ship kind of comes out

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Speaker 2: up out of the clouds and like it's freeze framed

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Speaker 2: really slow on like Neo on Trinity, and they're they're

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Speaker 2: above the scorch clouds and they see like Heaven and everything,

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Speaker 2: like it's like beautiful of the scorch clouds and it's

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Speaker 2: just like a five ten seconds and then then the

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Speaker 2: ship crashes back down if you remember that scene, and

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Speaker 2: the Matrix ship goes back into the clouds, down into

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Speaker 2: the scorched Earth. That was kind of like my girlfriend's

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Speaker 2: one week visit to come to see me in Las Vegas,

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Speaker 2: that her meeting her on that one week trip was

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Speaker 2: like this breath of reality and fresh air. Then when

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Speaker 2: she left after visiting that week, I went back down

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Speaker 2: into the figure of chaos and the scorch ruined earth.

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Speaker 1: And so and so with that in minds, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: to this day, you not doesn't sound like you're in

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Speaker 1: Vegas anymore, and you don't do casino Gambley, but you

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Speaker 1: don't crypto stuff. To this day, does she still kind

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Speaker 1: of represent that for you, like a bit of calm

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Speaker 1: and the storm.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I'm forever grateful for her to like seeing

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Speaker 2: something in me back then, you know, five years ago.

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Speaker 1: And it's a relationship like with her now.

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Speaker 2: Good, bad and ugly, but probably more good than bad

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Speaker 2: and ugly.

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Speaker 1: M What does she do?

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Speaker 2: She works for Trader Joe's.

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Speaker 1: Okay, cool cool, and what what is her sort of

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Speaker 1: thoughts and feelings about what's going on with you?

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Speaker 2: I think, you know, she tries you. Sometimes there's periods

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Speaker 2: of that are better than others. But I mean it's

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Speaker 2: hard for her to argue with the results when things

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Speaker 2: are going really well and financially, we're in a sound place.

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Speaker 2: I think that, But I think she wants me to

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Speaker 2: spend more time with her, yeah, and care for you know,

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Speaker 2: care for her in ways that that I sometimes am lacking.

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Speaker 1: Well. You know, it's an interesting point you make just now,

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Speaker 1: and you sound like you're very I mean, you've been

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Speaker 1: dealing with this for like, you know, twenty years, so

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Speaker 1: you sound like you're very self aware about the sort

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Speaker 1: of mental ins and outs surrounding this whole thing because

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Speaker 1: you've been everywhere mentally with it. But when you say

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Speaker 1: it's hard for her to argue when things are going well,

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Speaker 1: and again you've probably heard this before, but what exactly

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Speaker 1: is the barometer of things going well? Is it always

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Speaker 1: like if we're waiting a bunch of money, that inherently

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Speaker 1: mean the things are going well.

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Speaker 2: No? No, I think things are going better when I

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Speaker 2: take a break and we go play golf or go

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Speaker 2: out to eat, or go on a trip and I

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Speaker 2: take time. I think I'm happier when I take time

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Speaker 2: away from it. But it's always in the back of

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Speaker 2: my head, and it's always one foam pull away to

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Speaker 2: like be right back in it. I guess that's the

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Speaker 2: quandary or conundrum that I'm in these days is not

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Speaker 2: that I'm in these like hyper aggressive, risky situations that

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Speaker 2: I used to be in regarding my aforementioned time spent

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Speaker 2: in Vegas and other places and on drugs. But nowadays

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Speaker 2: I could kind of pull out the destructive you know,

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Speaker 2: time consumpting, consuming behavior and it's all on my smartphone.

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Speaker 2: One pull of the phone away, if that makes sense,

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Speaker 2: and trying themselves.

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Speaker 1: Interesting. So so that's a very interesting point you make,

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Speaker 1: because with the casinos, it's like, if you're away from Vegas,

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Speaker 1: if you're in let's say, it says you're in New York.

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Speaker 1: So if you're in New York and you're away from Vegas,

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Speaker 1: you're away from the casinos. I mean, I guess there's

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Speaker 1: online gambling and all that different ship. But it sounds

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Speaker 1: like this ship is I.

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Speaker 2: Don't do that. I don't do the online but go ahead, sir.

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Speaker 1: But but it's but it sounds like this ship has

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Speaker 1: evolved to even if you it used to be, you know,

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Speaker 1: with the with the casinos, if you weren't around it,

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Speaker 1: it was a little bit better. But now it's evolved

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Speaker 1: to this ship is in your pocket. All the time

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Speaker 1: if you want it to be.

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Speaker 2: For sure, for sure, and whichever way of the market's moving,

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Speaker 2: I can bet in that direction. And and and it's yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's very intoxicating and can be very time consuming. I

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Speaker 2: mean I've done well these past couple of years, and

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Speaker 2: even even since like the bear market kind of came

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Speaker 2: upon us the last five to six months, I've been

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Speaker 2: doing well. But you know, you can't always bat one

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Speaker 2: hundred percent of the time, you know, when one hundred

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Speaker 2: percent of the time, and and there's there's things to

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Speaker 2: focus on. And I see some of the chats saying,

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Speaker 2: I know you don't want me to read the chat

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Speaker 2: that they've been saying. To imagine, imagine the licenss. Dude

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Speaker 2: could have to be cashed out the money and didn't

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Speaker 2: waste his time, et cetera, et cetera.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I know that's that's that's what everyone has

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Speaker 1: in the back of the months. Why I have in

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Speaker 1: the back of my mind is like you have if

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Speaker 1: you have, because he's the thing. I don't know a

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Speaker 1: lot about how investment works, but I know that if

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Speaker 1: you have three million dollars and you give it to

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Speaker 1: the right fucking dude, or whatever the fuck can put

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Speaker 1: it in the right whatever. You could probably I don't

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Speaker 1: know how old you are. I'm completely talking out of

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Speaker 1: my ass with no numbers at all, but you could

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Speaker 1: probably do something safe with it, and like you still

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Speaker 1: wouldn't have to work anymore because you could probably put

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Speaker 1: it in a place that makes it, you know, regenerate,

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Speaker 1: so you could cash out and be cool.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I could do less risky things. And with the

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Speaker 2: majority of that I am. I'm just what's called staking

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Speaker 2: the majority of that and earning an interest that pays

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Speaker 2: out daily in a in a less risk averse made

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Speaker 2: on a non risky manner. But I still have about

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Speaker 2: one million of it on the table, so to speak.

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Speaker 1: Okay, that to me, if you have three million dollars

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Speaker 1: and two million of it you're keep it in a

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Speaker 1: safe place, and one million of it, you're a less

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Speaker 1: fucking party baby.

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Speaker 4: Ye maybe I.

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Speaker 1: Would. Yeah, That's why I think your therapist is telling

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Speaker 1: you that you've evolved, because to me, that seems like

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Speaker 1: an evolved position to be in, because you know, I've

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Speaker 1: heard from people, not like people personally, but people like

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Speaker 1: following the internet and shit, who like have been gambling

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Speaker 1: annets and whatnot. I think that they're lowest. They're not

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Speaker 1: doing that. They're like, yo, fuck it, put it all

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Speaker 1: on black roll, the roulette, who gives a shit type

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Speaker 1: of I mean, that's that's the really concerning place to be.

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Speaker 1: And you sound like you, I mean you sound like

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Speaker 1: maybe at one point you were there, but you've evolved.

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Speaker 2: It was a live stream yesterday where Drake, you know,

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Speaker 2: the rapper Drake was lost twenty million dollars in forty

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Speaker 2: five minutes in front of his you know, fifty thousand

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Speaker 2: people on Twitch or whatever. It's like sets the worst

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Speaker 2: example up for people watching to see people just punt

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Speaker 2: away money like that.

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Speaker 1: But he has one hundred million dollars done they and

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Speaker 1: so if he loses twenty If you have one hundred

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Speaker 1: million dollars, you lose twenty million dollars. You kind of like, ah, I.

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Speaker 2: Don't know how much he has, but you can't afford

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Speaker 2: you to gamp away money like that, even like, even

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Speaker 2: if you're Elon Musk, you don't want to be punting

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Speaker 2: away twenty million dollars every five minutes, like he's literally

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Speaker 2: in an hour punted like twenty or thirty million. Actually,

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Speaker 2: I think it was.

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Speaker 1: See you've evolved, You're Drake's point of reason. Hey, yeah,

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Speaker 1: well this is interesting to me. It's weird that your

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Speaker 1: therapy I love. I love that I do this all

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Speaker 1: the time with people where they come to me with

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Speaker 1: like issues that are totally worthy of real therapy and

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Speaker 1: they have been the real therapy and they kind of

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Speaker 1: break down what their experience was talking about this issue

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Speaker 1: in real therapy. And it's funny to me that your

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Speaker 1: therapist is telling is talking to you about the markets.

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Speaker 1: I mean, they don't tell you anything. I mean, this

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Speaker 1: is classic like addiction behavior that there's a billion people

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Speaker 1: trained to deal with, and I wonder what the training is.

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Speaker 2: Now he challenges me. He's a good therapist. He challenges

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Speaker 2: me as much as he can. But by the end

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Speaker 2: of a one hour session, we have one a week now,

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Speaker 2: he said, until recently had two a week. By the

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Speaker 2: end of the session, I have him talking about the markets.

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Speaker 2: I guess that's just me more than him. But but

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Speaker 2: what we we we definitely try to address my real

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Speaker 2: issues and real.

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Speaker 1: Well I'm gonna I mean, it's just I'm also going

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Speaker 1: to kind of repeat what your therapist said. And I

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Speaker 1: know that you. Uh sounds like when you first said

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Speaker 1: that your therapist said this to you, you took it

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Speaker 1: not you didn't maybe believe him or whatever it was.

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Speaker 1: But from the way you're talking about these things, it

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Speaker 1: does sound like you have evolved. It obviously doesn't sound

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Speaker 1: like you are like completely cured of your issue. I

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Speaker 1: don't know, because I'm not an addiction person. I don't

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Speaker 1: know anything about that shit like what you know. I'm

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Speaker 1: not gonna comment on whether or not you are quote

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Speaker 1: curable or whatever the fuck, but you have evolved. Objectively,

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Speaker 1: if we're looking at a chart, you know you have evolved.

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Speaker 1: You are on an upward trajectory. So I understand why

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Speaker 1: he's saying that, And I don't think that you should

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Speaker 1: you know, uh uh disregard him saying that, because it's

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Speaker 1: true you have evolved, and uh man, I hope that. Uh.

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Speaker 1: Can I ask you know, before we go moving forward,

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Speaker 1: what is it that you want out of life? I'm curious.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. I think about that question, Austin, I contemplated. Austen,

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Speaker 2: I would say, objectively, the simple answer is just to

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Speaker 2: be happy and content and to strive for those things,

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Speaker 2: even when day in, day out, no matter where one

385
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Speaker 2: is that there's always a good reason to cry about

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Speaker 2: things or not be content. But I think, just what,

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Speaker 2: regardless of my situation, just work on being content and

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Speaker 2: living life with some balance. I think that's it. I

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Speaker 2: don't have too much of like a tall wishless.

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Speaker 1: Other than that, I think that that's a perfectly good wishless.

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Speaker 2: Thank you. I appreciate it, Lyle. Thank you. Gus to go, Max.

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Speaker 1: Anything you want to say to the people of the

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Speaker 1: computer before we go, No.

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Speaker 2: Just good things, good things everyone here.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for having me, of course, thanks for calling Max.

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Speaker 2: All right, take care.

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Speaker 1: Hello, Hellos this gek Yeah is Quentin?

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00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:15,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is.

399
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Speaker 4: What's going on.

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Speaker 1: Man, Quentin? Quin and Quentin? Nothing much, just being a

401
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:24,480
Speaker 1: geck on the computer. What's going on with you?

402
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:27,119
Speaker 5: Nothing else? Just being a man in the woods of

403
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Speaker 5: the thing.

404
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:30,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that. Can

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00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:34,600
Speaker 1: you tell what's going on? Well?

406
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Speaker 5: You know, so it started. I was living with my parents.

407
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Speaker 5: You know, I'm twenty two years old. They let me

408
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Speaker 5: live with them because I originally got kicked out up

409
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Speaker 5: from my dad in twenty eighteen. As soon as I

410
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Speaker 5: graduated high school and they let me move in with them,

411
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Speaker 5: and I stole a dad cart from them, and then

412
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Speaker 5: they called me an act and then they kicked me out.

413
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Speaker 2: Up.

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Speaker 5: Now I'm in the woods and it's tent.

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Speaker 3: And things are you know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, hmmm, So you were living with your parents and

417
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Speaker 1: you stole a DAPT card from them, they kicked you out.

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Speaker 1: Now you're living in a tent in the woods.

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Speaker 4: Correct.

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Speaker 1: How long have you been living in the tent in

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Speaker 1: the woods for?

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Speaker 3: Mmmm?

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Speaker 5: About two weeks?

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Speaker 3: Now?

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00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:33,520
Speaker 1: Two weeks okay, and uh, I have a bunch of

426
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Speaker 1: questions for you. How long? How have those two weeks been.

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Speaker 5: Interesting? I mean I've gotten a job to somewhat still

428
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Speaker 5: in the meantime, you know, the free time I have.

429
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Speaker 5: It's it's been hard, you know, mentally and like physically,

430
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Speaker 5: I mean, it's been hot, it's been raining, like it

431
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:58,439
Speaker 5: just finished reading. I've learned a lot about myself, you know.

432
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Speaker 5: It is the isolation. It's it's new to me. I'm

433
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:04,960
Speaker 5: you know, I'm used to having people around me. Still,

434
00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:06,680
Speaker 5: you know, how many friends right now? And how many

435
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:07,359
Speaker 5: I can talk to?

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00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:14,000
Speaker 1: You know. It's yeah, there's a few things about this. Uh, well,

437
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:16,920
Speaker 1: you're in New Jersey. I mean, I guess it's it's

438
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,240
Speaker 1: it's June. So you're fine for now, because I was

439
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:23,160
Speaker 1: gonna say in uh yeah, New Jersey. You know, it's

440
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:24,679
Speaker 1: not like you live in the West Coast where it's

441
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:27,000
Speaker 1: sunny all the time. New Jersey. You've got the summer

442
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 1: and then after that you cannot be living in a

443
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:30,160
Speaker 1: tent in the woods.

444
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:31,240
Speaker 4: Right.

445
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,600
Speaker 5: Uh yeah, I mean that's that's why I got this job,

446
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:37,760
Speaker 5: hopefully that you know, how many get back on my feet.

447
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:38,040
Speaker 5: You know.

448
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:43,000
Speaker 1: So it says that you've been learning a lot about

449
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:44,800
Speaker 1: yourself through the isolation. Is that true?

450
00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:46,639
Speaker 2: Yeah?

451
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:48,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, what have you learned?

452
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:55,000
Speaker 5: I mean, I learned how much I really do like

453
00:23:55,119 --> 00:24:00,400
Speaker 5: talking to people and the company of other people. I've

454
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:04,360
Speaker 5: learned that I get a lot of my personality from

455
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:07,719
Speaker 5: like being around other people. And you know, I'm not

456
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:11,239
Speaker 5: the same person. You know, you become who you are

457
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:14,880
Speaker 5: who you surround yourself with. If that made any sense.

458
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:18,520
Speaker 1: Sorry, yeah, no, that makes a ton of sense. It's

459
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:22,480
Speaker 1: interesting to hear you say that, because I I feel

460
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:26,680
Speaker 1: like I've talked to people who say things like, oh,

461
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:28,880
Speaker 1: I went into isolation and I learned something. A lot

462
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:31,639
Speaker 1: of the times it's a lot about like, you know,

463
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:36,000
Speaker 1: learning about themselves when they're alone. But and this kind

464
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:40,160
Speaker 1: of is that, but you're only with the app only.

465
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:43,120
Speaker 1: What I'm saying is with the absence of other people,

466
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:50,199
Speaker 1: you then are learning about the importance to you of

467
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:53,119
Speaker 1: being around other people, which you only can learn when

468
00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:55,399
Speaker 1: they're gone, because when they're there, you don't notice what

469
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:58,199
Speaker 1: it's like when they're gone, so you don't notice how

470
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:03,120
Speaker 1: uable it is, right Yeah. And I think it's awesome

471
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:05,120
Speaker 1: that you know, because this is not a great situation

472
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:06,639
Speaker 1: for you to be in. And I think it's awesome

473
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:11,399
Speaker 1: that you're using it as a way of learning more

474
00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:16,520
Speaker 1: about yourself and gathering some form of value from what

475
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:18,480
Speaker 1: is not a great situation.

476
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,919
Speaker 5: Right, Yeah, that's that. It's you mean, I've had people

477
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:24,640
Speaker 5: offer me, you know, like hey, you want to come

478
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,800
Speaker 5: do some mess and you know all that, but like,

479
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:28,920
Speaker 5: you know, it's not really what I want to not

480
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:30,920
Speaker 5: the path I want to take, you know. I want

481
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:33,080
Speaker 5: to I want to get back, you know, I want

482
00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:35,399
Speaker 5: to get myself a place. You know, I want to

483
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:38,240
Speaker 5: be a contributing member of society.

484
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 1: What does being a contributing member of society look like

485
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:43,480
Speaker 1: to you?

486
00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:48,800
Speaker 5: Just someone who can you know, who has their own thing,

487
00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:52,199
Speaker 5: you know, whether it's an apartment car like right now,

488
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 5: I can't even get like a car right now, orndy

489
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 5: that because I have my license suspended and I have

490
00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:00,160
Speaker 5: to pay however much to get that back.

491
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:03,600
Speaker 4: And there's a whole Yeah, but.

492
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:10,600
Speaker 1: How long do you plan to be out here for?

493
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:14,080
Speaker 1: Do you have a sort of game plan moving forward

494
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:16,600
Speaker 1: of how you're going to get out of the woods?

495
00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:20,800
Speaker 5: So far, I've my main thing I've been looking into

496
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 5: is buying like a you know, like a trailer, like

497
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:27,960
Speaker 5: a camper and literally like staying at a fool like

498
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,399
Speaker 5: an all season camp round or something like that with

499
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:33,280
Speaker 5: like electric and plumbing and all that. I feel like

500
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:36,359
Speaker 5: that's probably a good option. I was looking into motels

501
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:38,960
Speaker 5: and hotels, but they're real dirty and they you know,

502
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:42,120
Speaker 5: they cost a lot. Those are more of a luxury,

503
00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:48,280
Speaker 5: you know, which I never really realized. But I'm also

504
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 5: learning I have to sacrifice the things that I want

505
00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:52,359
Speaker 5: versus the things I need.

506
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:55,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, what types of things that you want or you're

507
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:57,080
Speaker 1: having to sacrifice.

508
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:04,320
Speaker 5: Like nicotine, like smoking cigarettes, lead alcohol, I mean, you know,

509
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:06,439
Speaker 5: just a little leisure of things, you know, getting like

510
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:09,920
Speaker 5: snacks every time I go store. You know something like that.

511
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:15,520
Speaker 1: Do Okay, So you said that you find it very

512
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:18,280
Speaker 1: important to be around other people, and that's something that

513
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:22,639
Speaker 1: you're learning about isolation beyond here in the woods. What

514
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:26,960
Speaker 1: is your social life like right now? Are you hanging

515
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:29,560
Speaker 1: out with other people, are you finding opportunities to be

516
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:33,320
Speaker 1: around people, or are you focusing on your cell phones?

517
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:38,399
Speaker 5: So so far, I think I'm mainly focusing on myself.

518
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:42,000
Speaker 5: I haven't really had the urge currently to go out,

519
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,280
Speaker 5: and you know, because I just want to get make

520
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:46,000
Speaker 5: sure I can get myself back on my phoebe before

521
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:48,800
Speaker 5: I start worrying about you know, other people or you know.

522
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:51,600
Speaker 5: It's I understand that I should do things that are

523
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:53,600
Speaker 5: fun and you know, go out and do things that

524
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:56,920
Speaker 5: keep me happy. But it's also something like it's like

525
00:27:56,960 --> 00:28:00,880
Speaker 5: another sacrifice I had to make, yeah, to be other

526
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:03,239
Speaker 5: do those things.

527
00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:04,640
Speaker 1: Forgive me if I asked you this already or if

528
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:06,600
Speaker 1: I interrupted with a different question, But do you do

529
00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:08,240
Speaker 1: you have a sort of game plan in your mind

530
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:10,200
Speaker 1: as to what you're gonna do moving forward?

531
00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:15,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, like I was saying, I mean the trailer. Besides

532
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:21,240
Speaker 5: that getting a trailer, I want to get a possible apartment. Also,

533
00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:25,560
Speaker 5: I was thinking military as as an option, like the

534
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 5: army or something, because you know, they give you through

535
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:30,399
Speaker 5: all that and you get a pension, you stay in

536
00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:33,240
Speaker 5: for however many years, you get a bonus and all

537
00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:33,879
Speaker 5: different things.

538
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:34,399
Speaker 1: You know.

539
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:37,080
Speaker 5: It's a that's a good way to look.

540
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 1: But did you say already with your job is now?

541
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:43,680
Speaker 4: I work on a farm?

542
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:45,800
Speaker 1: Work on a farm? Okay? Do you how do you?

543
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:46,360
Speaker 1: How do you like that?

544
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:49,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, like a vegetable farm. I like it because I'm

545
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:52,000
Speaker 5: not always doing the same thing over and over. It's

546
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:55,520
Speaker 5: not real repetitive. I have ADHD, so like staying in

547
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:57,640
Speaker 5: one spot doing the same thing over and over just

548
00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:00,440
Speaker 5: kills me. So it's it's nice.

549
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:07,160
Speaker 1: If you could do anything at all, what would you do.

550
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 5: Anything? As it could you the library.

551
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:14,720
Speaker 1: On that, I guess I meant, you know, primarily for

552
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:17,240
Speaker 1: a living or or or I guess not even for

553
00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:19,160
Speaker 1: a living. Like if you could design, if you could

554
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 1: design your life in any way, shape or form, how

555
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,760
Speaker 1: would you design it? Man?

556
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:29,920
Speaker 5: That's a that's a that's a deep question. I mean,

557
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:36,960
Speaker 5: just yeah, owning my own business and just having having

558
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:38,760
Speaker 5: a family, you know, just having a house I own,

559
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:42,440
Speaker 5: and you know, being able to you know, support my

560
00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:44,600
Speaker 5: myself and my family and my kids. You know, it's

561
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:45,920
Speaker 5: really what I want in life.

562
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:52,960
Speaker 1: You know, I I asked you that. Sorry, go ahead, No.

563
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 5: I wasn't sure if that's exactly who you're asking.

564
00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:57,640
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no. I I guess I asked

565
00:29:57,680 --> 00:30:00,080
Speaker 1: you that because you know, man, look, we haven't and

566
00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:02,160
Speaker 1: talking for that long, it's only been eight minutes, but

567
00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:05,560
Speaker 1: I can kind of tell that you have, like I

568
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 1: could tell you got like a good head on your

569
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,000
Speaker 1: shoulders about all this shit. I mean, you're in a

570
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:13,600
Speaker 1: very tough situation. And again we've only been talking for that,

571
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:17,240
Speaker 1: you know, for so long, but you seem very level

572
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:20,920
Speaker 1: headed about it all. And you know, you mentioned you

573
00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:23,600
Speaker 1: were like people. These people are trying to like, you know,

574
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,400
Speaker 1: get me to do meth with them and whatnot, but

575
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:28,080
Speaker 1: I don't want to do that path. And you seem

576
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:34,840
Speaker 1: like you're very focused on how to move forward, and

577
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:38,120
Speaker 1: you have like tangible plans and you're really thinking about things,

578
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:40,400
Speaker 1: and you're you're I don't know, you seem like you

579
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:42,000
Speaker 1: have a good head about all this stuff, and I'm

580
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:44,440
Speaker 1: very impressed with it. And the reason I asked you

581
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 1: about why if you could design your life in any

582
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:50,920
Speaker 1: way it could be is because you know, you have

583
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,280
Speaker 1: a good mindset about things, and you're very young, and

584
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:55,480
Speaker 1: I do believe and you know, and your answer to

585
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:57,600
Speaker 1: the question of if you could design your life in

586
00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:59,960
Speaker 1: any way it wasn't fucking crazy, you know. It was like,

587
00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 1: I want to have a family, and I want to,

588
00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 1: you know, be successful and financially well off. And you know,

589
00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:10,000
Speaker 1: you're a young guy and you got a good head

590
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,160
Speaker 1: on your shoulders. So I genuinely do believe that, you

591
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:13,880
Speaker 1: know how, I don't know how long it's going to take,

592
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:18,240
Speaker 1: but I think you'll get there if you keep acting conscientiously.

593
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:20,840
Speaker 1: It's a good word that I would just that I

594
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:23,360
Speaker 1: would I would use for the situation because you seem

595
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 1: like you're a conscientious person. You're thinking about the next day,

596
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:32,440
Speaker 1: You're thinking about, you know, all the options available to you.

597
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:34,960
Speaker 1: You're thinking about the pitfalls that you're trying to avoid,

598
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:41,040
Speaker 1: you know, going into So I wouldn't even put this

599
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:44,320
Speaker 1: in like some weird like, oh you're gonna bootstrap it

600
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:46,360
Speaker 1: to success kind of thing. But you're just like, you know,

601
00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:51,840
Speaker 1: very in a slowly, methodically, daily, conscientious way, acting about

602
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:53,640
Speaker 1: your life. And I think that you'll get to wherever

603
00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:55,800
Speaker 1: you want to if you keep doing that every day.

604
00:31:58,840 --> 00:31:59,880
Speaker 4: I appreciate.

605
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:04,040
Speaker 5: This calls. Honestly. I feel like it's helped me a lot,

606
00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:06,520
Speaker 5: you know, able to get stuff off my shoulders, you know,

607
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:09,360
Speaker 5: and get off my chest and have someone to talk to.

608
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 5: I really appreciate it.

609
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, I really appreciate you, uh, sharing all this stuff

610
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:16,520
Speaker 1: with us. Man, is there is there anything else that

611
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:18,520
Speaker 1: you want to say to the people of the computer

612
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:19,920
Speaker 1: before we go.

613
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 5: Everybody, use your twitch primes, check out the Therapy Get

614
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:25,920
Speaker 5: Go podcast.

615
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:32,000
Speaker 1: That's it. God, Quentin, thank you, dog, and very much

616
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:32,560
Speaker 1: good luck to you.

617
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:35,320
Speaker 5: Thank you, man, have a good one.

618
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 1: Take care. I meant what I said to that guy.

619
00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:47,480
Speaker 1: Very conscientious sort of thinker, and you know, I try

620
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:49,200
Speaker 1: not to make judgments of people in any way ship

621
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:50,840
Speaker 1: before them after only being on the phone with them

622
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:54,600
Speaker 1: for uh, not too long. But I felt I felt

623
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:59,480
Speaker 1: that from him, and he seemed like he just I

624
00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:00,840
Speaker 1: didn't know he was in you. I know he's in

625
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:02,959
Speaker 1: a shitty situation, but you didn't get the sense that

626
00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:08,640
Speaker 1: you're so worried about him because he's he's you know,

627
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:13,280
Speaker 1: I feel like he's he's on a good path forward.

628
00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:18,000
Speaker 1: I could just tell in the way he was like

629
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:21,520
Speaker 1: talking about ship and I wish him good luck. I

630
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:22,960
Speaker 1: hate that he has to go live in the tent

631
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:26,200
Speaker 1: in the woods. But it was just little things like

632
00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:31,640
Speaker 1: he had answers to my questions about what he wants

633
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:33,840
Speaker 1: to do moving forward, and how he was thinking about

634
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:38,960
Speaker 1: his life outside of this, and you know, he's trying

635
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:42,880
Speaker 1: to gain wisdom from his situation, which is says a

636
00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:46,200
Speaker 1: lot about who he is. And yeah, I like that guy,

637
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:47,719
Speaker 1: and I think he's going to be okay, and I

638
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:54,480
Speaker 1: hope he's going to be okay. Thank you for calling Quinn. Hello, Hi,

639
00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:56,400
Speaker 1: how are you?

640
00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:00,000
Speaker 3: I'm good? How are you?

641
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:04,000
Speaker 1: I'm good as well? What's your life like?

642
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:11,920
Speaker 3: Pretty boring?

643
00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:12,319
Speaker 4: Now?

644
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:16,120
Speaker 1: Pretty boring? Now? Why is it boring?

645
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:24,160
Speaker 3: I had a pretty crazy life like a couple of

646
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:30,800
Speaker 3: years ago, and then, as you know, like when crazy

647
00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:37,360
Speaker 3: things happened, you kind of get depressed. And then I

648
00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:40,840
Speaker 3: got on medication and now it's now it's just boring.

649
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:43,880
Speaker 1: Well, listen, listen, let's let's take a step back here.

650
00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:46,279
Speaker 1: When you say you had a crazy life two years ago,

651
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:48,880
Speaker 1: what are we what are we talking here?

652
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:58,440
Speaker 3: I moved to California, and did porn.

653
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:03,200
Speaker 1: Interesting, how old are you when this happened?

654
00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 3: Nineteen? I'm twenty six now, so it was like five

655
00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:09,840
Speaker 3: years ago.

656
00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:15,440
Speaker 1: Okay, so you moved to California to do porn when

657
00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:19,000
Speaker 1: you're nineteen? And what inspired that decision?

658
00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:24,360
Speaker 2: So?

659
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:33,680
Speaker 3: I had a cat and the cat got killed by

660
00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:37,640
Speaker 3: my roommate's dog in front of me, and then I

661
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:43,040
Speaker 3: kind of had a breakdown and I got a call

662
00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:47,360
Speaker 3: and they were like, hey, do you want to do porn?

663
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:51,719
Speaker 3: And I was like, I guess so, and then they

664
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:52,880
Speaker 3: flew me to California.

665
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 1: Okay, so I have a few questions here what you said.

666
00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:01,000
Speaker 1: I I have a few questions about everything you just said. Okay,

667
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:03,560
Speaker 1: first of all, you said you got a call and

668
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:05,719
Speaker 1: they were like, do you want to do porn? What

669
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:08,960
Speaker 1: do you mean? You got like a rand You got

670
00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:12,080
Speaker 1: a call from a random phone number and the person

671
00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:14,000
Speaker 1: on the other line was just like, do you want

672
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:15,320
Speaker 1: to do porn? How does that work?

673
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:17,040
Speaker 4: So?

674
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:21,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, this roommate kind of impacted my life in a

675
00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:24,360
Speaker 3: lot of ways. She was on a daity in the

676
00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:29,680
Speaker 3: site and she was talking to this guy and he

677
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:33,160
Speaker 3: asked her she wanted to do nude modeling, but she

678
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:36,439
Speaker 3: was like, no, I have a roommate who might though,

679
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:39,920
Speaker 3: and she gave him my number. And then I was

680
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:42,360
Speaker 3: at work and I got this call on my break

681
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:46,080
Speaker 3: and they were like, hey, we heard you might be

682
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:48,320
Speaker 3: interested in this. And it turns out it was porn,

683
00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:49,640
Speaker 3: not just nude modeling.

684
00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:57,360
Speaker 1: So your roommate gave this person your phone number without

685
00:36:57,440 --> 00:37:01,920
Speaker 1: your knowledge. Yeah, were you upset about that?

686
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:05,839
Speaker 5: No?

687
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:10,680
Speaker 3: I I guess because she knew. I was like VI

688
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:15,359
Speaker 3: really out of control. Like I I had tried to

689
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:19,440
Speaker 3: do stripping like a week before, but I didn't like it,

690
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:24,359
Speaker 3: so I like ran out. But yeah, I don't know.

691
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:25,000
Speaker 2: It was weird.

692
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:29,760
Speaker 1: So how because I feel like you wouldn't have mentioned

693
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:33,200
Speaker 1: it if it wasn't. How is you seeing your cat

694
00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:40,720
Speaker 1: being killed related to you taking the call to do porn?

695
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:45,360
Speaker 3: Because I kind of just gave up. It was like,

696
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 3: I don't know. I think it definitely like triggered a

697
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:54,960
Speaker 3: manic episode or something, and I was just I was

698
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:56,279
Speaker 3: just going crazy after that.

699
00:37:57,480 --> 00:38:00,319
Speaker 1: Had you had any interest in doing porn beforehand? Or

700
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:03,800
Speaker 1: was it just a totally brand new thing that presented

701
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:06,040
Speaker 1: itself to you and you just said fuck it and

702
00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:06,759
Speaker 1: went to go do it.

703
00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:08,279
Speaker 3: Yeah?

704
00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:08,919
Speaker 1: No, it was.

705
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:11,160
Speaker 3: It was random, it was very rare. I was working

706
00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:13,360
Speaker 3: at a grocery store. And then.

707
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:19,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, m hm, and so you're working at where where

708
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 1: did you move from Colorado and you just saw a whim?

709
00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:28,640
Speaker 1: Did you move to California immediately? Did you just sort

710
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:31,120
Speaker 1: of take a flight out there as like kind of

711
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:32,280
Speaker 1: a test run? First?

712
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:36,839
Speaker 3: It was like, yeah, it was just like a test run.

713
00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:39,560
Speaker 3: I was through an agency who the guy was like

714
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:44,120
Speaker 3: a talent scout for a corn agency, and they paid

715
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:47,440
Speaker 3: for my flight out there. They paid for my like testing,

716
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:53,200
Speaker 3: like SDD testing. And then yeah, they slew me out

717
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,360
Speaker 3: there and I lived in what was called a model house,

718
00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:58,279
Speaker 3: which was basically just the agent's house, and he had

719
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:00,839
Speaker 3: all these girls living there with him. And it was

720
00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:02,719
Speaker 3: like a month that I was out there.

721
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 1: Okay, so you were out there for just.

722
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:10,680
Speaker 3: A month mm hmm. And then I and then I

723
00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:11,240
Speaker 3: went back.

724
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:13,000
Speaker 1: What was that first month like?

725
00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:20,640
Speaker 3: It it was like a daze, like I don't even

726
00:39:20,719 --> 00:39:24,160
Speaker 3: know what was happening. I I don't know. I I

727
00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:29,040
Speaker 3: grew up really really religious and like kind of like sheltered,

728
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:31,799
Speaker 3: and then all of a sudden, I was in this

729
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:36,000
Speaker 3: whole new world with like these crazy people, and like,

730
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:39,000
Speaker 3: I don't know, it was weird.

731
00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:43,200
Speaker 1: With these crazy people. Did did you meet anybody maybe

732
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:47,040
Speaker 1: the other girls or anything like that who you felt

733
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:49,040
Speaker 1: like you did form any genuine relationships with.

734
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:57,160
Speaker 3: There was a couple that I that I've formed like

735
00:39:57,239 --> 00:40:00,440
Speaker 3: pretty good relationships with that there was not really anything

736
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:04,680
Speaker 3: outside of like our work that we like talked about

737
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:08,839
Speaker 3: or anything. I don't know. It kind of you kind

738
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:10,920
Speaker 3: of like a lot of people kind of like to

739
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:14,520
Speaker 3: keep like their private life private in that industry, right,

740
00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:18,160
Speaker 3: So we didn't really even know each other's real names.

741
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:22,080
Speaker 1: Interesting, so you went by a stage name mm hm.

742
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:28,040
Speaker 1: And how long were you out there shooting porn for.

743
00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:31,920
Speaker 3: I did it for like a year and a half.

744
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:36,200
Speaker 3: I left, So this was in twenty fifteen that I

745
00:40:36,239 --> 00:40:40,320
Speaker 3: went out there, and then I left like the industry

746
00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:45,319
Speaker 3: and like two thousand and seventeen, and then I was

747
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:48,880
Speaker 3: doing like nude modeling, and then I was doing professional cuddling,

748
00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:53,160
Speaker 3: and then I just went back home. So I was

749
00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:56,200
Speaker 3: in California for a while, just like selling myself.

750
00:40:56,239 --> 00:40:59,400
Speaker 1: I guess professional cuddling is that the thing where like

751
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:03,800
Speaker 1: people can just hire you to cuddle them.

752
00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:07,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, that's the whole different weird thing.

753
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:08,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, uh.

754
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:11,640
Speaker 3: Did you say what was that?

755
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:17,080
Speaker 1: Like? Yeah, it was all right.

756
00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:26,359
Speaker 3: I don't know. I think there's good customers and uncomforty customers.

757
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:33,920
Speaker 1: You know, what would an interaction with an uncomfortable customer be?

758
00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:35,719
Speaker 1: Like if you don't mind me asking.

759
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:40,200
Speaker 3: They just like like they and like you should have

760
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:42,680
Speaker 3: just hired a prostitute, you know, like they just try

761
00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:47,600
Speaker 3: to get away with stuff. Sure, sure, Like why are

762
00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:50,040
Speaker 3: you even on this website? You go to a different website.

763
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:50,920
Speaker 2: M h.

764
00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:55,600
Speaker 1: So you did cuddling, you did nude uh modeling, and

765
00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:58,799
Speaker 1: you did actual porn and this was for you said

766
00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:00,880
Speaker 1: the whole all in all about a year and a half.

767
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:02,960
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.

768
00:42:04,239 --> 00:42:07,560
Speaker 1: What was your kind of like day to day life, Like,

769
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:09,880
Speaker 1: give me an average day in this year and a

770
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:11,120
Speaker 1: half of yours.

771
00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:18,799
Speaker 3: It depended like what the what my job was? I

772
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:22,640
Speaker 3: guess like during porn, like I would only do like

773
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:26,840
Speaker 3: a couple shoots a week during like the porn, but

774
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:29,520
Speaker 3: that was like every week for a year.

775
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:34,120
Speaker 1: Uh.

776
00:42:34,520 --> 00:42:37,520
Speaker 3: You would like wake up and then I didn't have

777
00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:40,320
Speaker 3: a car, so I have the agency had a driver

778
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:44,600
Speaker 3: and they would drive me to some random house and

779
00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:47,680
Speaker 3: then they would like do my makeup, and then you

780
00:42:47,719 --> 00:42:50,920
Speaker 3: would meet the person that you're shooting with and be like, hey,

781
00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:56,279
Speaker 3: what's up, And then you show each other your tests

782
00:42:56,320 --> 00:43:00,720
Speaker 3: and then they do the shoot and then say okay,

783
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:04,759
Speaker 3: find everybody, and then you go home and relax. I

784
00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:06,320
Speaker 3: don't know, it's like a regular workday.

785
00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:09,600
Speaker 1: Sure, So this year and a half, I mean this

786
00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:11,480
Speaker 1: was about five years ago that you were doing all

787
00:43:11,480 --> 00:43:13,480
Speaker 1: this stuff, and now that you've had a lot of

788
00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:16,800
Speaker 1: time to sort of think about it in a retrospective,

789
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:19,640
Speaker 1: what are your feelings about this year and a half.

790
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:27,319
Speaker 3: I kind of wish I didn't do it.

791
00:43:28,719 --> 00:43:29,239
Speaker 1: Why is that.

792
00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:36,239
Speaker 3: Because it was such a short amount of time that

793
00:43:36,320 --> 00:43:40,960
Speaker 3: it didn't really like I didn't like save enough money

794
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:44,640
Speaker 3: to like invest or anything or I don't know, it

795
00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:50,000
Speaker 3: didn't really positively impact my life, but it definitely negatively did,

796
00:43:50,719 --> 00:43:57,879
Speaker 3: like with like having bad feelings towards sex now and

797
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:01,840
Speaker 3: not that anything happened to me in porn, but because

798
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:05,040
Speaker 3: I was in that headspace in California as like nothing

799
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:10,960
Speaker 3: really matters, I definitely put myself in bad situations. And

800
00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:15,000
Speaker 3: also like my family they I live with my family

801
00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 3: now and like everything's fine, but there's part of me

802
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:23,279
Speaker 3: that's like, oh, like you know, and I know that

803
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:27,440
Speaker 3: I was there, and like, I don't know, So did.

804
00:44:27,239 --> 00:44:30,840
Speaker 1: This have some sort of adverse effect on your relationship

805
00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:31,440
Speaker 1: with your family?

806
00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:40,279
Speaker 3: I already kind of had a bad relationship with them.

807
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:43,040
Speaker 3: They kicked me out when I was eighteen for smoking weed,

808
00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:51,600
Speaker 3: and I think I kind of like broke them, Like

809
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:54,320
Speaker 3: that's what my mom says, that I like broke my dad.

810
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:56,799
Speaker 3: And then now they're all nice to me. So I

811
00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:59,600
Speaker 3: guess it kind of helped, like they were like.

812
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:03,479
Speaker 1: Well, so when you say when you say you broke them,

813
00:45:03,719 --> 00:45:06,160
Speaker 1: you're you're meaning that almost in like a in a

814
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:10,839
Speaker 1: positive way, like like you know, we can't stay mad

815
00:45:10,840 --> 00:45:14,560
Speaker 1: at you for these things, and you know, right, we

816
00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:16,919
Speaker 1: forgive you come on over here type of way.

817
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:22,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, they call me like the prodigal child because they're

818
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:24,640
Speaker 3: super religious, so they're like, oh, you came back from

819
00:45:24,719 --> 00:45:28,799
Speaker 3: your wayward ways and now now we can all love

820
00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:29,239
Speaker 3: each other.

821
00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:29,920
Speaker 4: And like.

822
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:34,880
Speaker 1: That's interesting though, that you had a strained relationship with

823
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:38,480
Speaker 1: them and they kicked you out. And obviously I'm sure

824
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:41,360
Speaker 1: that their religious background and you know, the stuff you

825
00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:44,000
Speaker 1: were doing out there I didn't mix super well. Uh,

826
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:47,759
Speaker 1: and probably caused some conflict. But it's interesting to me

827
00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:50,799
Speaker 1: now that you guys that you not live with them,

828
00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:52,839
Speaker 1: and it sounds like you do you do you have,

829
00:45:53,160 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 1: you know, to this day, a good relationship with them.

830
00:45:56,840 --> 00:46:02,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's it's all right. It's like I can't

831
00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:07,040
Speaker 3: be like bullying myself, but like I'm glad that I

832
00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:10,920
Speaker 3: do have a relationship with them.

833
00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:14,520
Speaker 1: I can ask how did because you alluded to this

834
00:46:14,600 --> 00:46:19,240
Speaker 1: a little bit, but how did your brief porn career

835
00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:25,480
Speaker 1: affect your sort of relationship and feelings about sex in general?

836
00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:37,239
Speaker 3: It made it very transactional, I think, and like pretty impersonal.

837
00:46:42,080 --> 00:46:46,200
Speaker 3: I don't know it. And then like there's when people

838
00:46:46,239 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 3: find out about that, then they just want to like

839
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:52,719
Speaker 3: take advantage of you. They're like, oh, she's really easy then,

840
00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:54,960
Speaker 3: and then like that's all they really think about.

841
00:46:55,560 --> 00:47:01,480
Speaker 1: M is that are do those those feelings of you know,

842
00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:05,400
Speaker 1: did those feelings that you just expressed, did that Do

843
00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:07,879
Speaker 1: you feel that way today? With it being five years ago?

844
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:21,080
Speaker 3: Not as much. I'm working on it. I don't know.

845
00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:24,560
Speaker 3: It's so it's definitely is pretty difficult.

846
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:29,799
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, mm hmm. At the end of the year

847
00:47:29,840 --> 00:47:33,439
Speaker 1: and a half, what was it that kind of broke

848
00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:35,520
Speaker 1: the camel's back and made you decide to go back home.

849
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:46,120
Speaker 3: I was severely depressed and anxious, like I don't I

850
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:52,279
Speaker 3: some stuff happens, not important, but like when I I

851
00:47:52,320 --> 00:47:55,400
Speaker 3: know you're not a therapist, I'm sorry. It just I

852
00:47:55,440 --> 00:48:01,239
Speaker 3: had a traumatic experience with sex and I was just

853
00:48:01,960 --> 00:48:04,160
Speaker 3: I couldn't even get out of bed. So I was like,

854
00:48:04,280 --> 00:48:07,239
Speaker 3: maybe maybe I need to go home. I can't take

855
00:48:07,239 --> 00:48:08,440
Speaker 3: care of myself anymore.

856
00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:13,359
Speaker 1: So yeah, have you have you talked to a real

857
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:14,560
Speaker 1: therapist about all this stuff?

858
00:48:15,719 --> 00:48:16,000
Speaker 2: Yeah?

859
00:48:16,800 --> 00:48:18,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, I less medication too.

860
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:22,839
Speaker 1: And what kinds of things do they tell you in

861
00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:25,680
Speaker 1: response to all this to try to help you work

862
00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:26,040
Speaker 1: through it.

863
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:34,919
Speaker 3: It's just a lot of listening. I don't know. Maybe

864
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:41,520
Speaker 3: they don't. I think they just want me to talk

865
00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:46,880
Speaker 3: about it, like get it out. It's just like time

866
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:51,160
Speaker 3: heals things. I guess I don't know. And they wanted

867
00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:53,440
Speaker 3: me to have a good relationship with my parents. I

868
00:48:53,440 --> 00:48:57,719
Speaker 3: would see in therapists in California too, and that was

869
00:48:57,760 --> 00:49:00,319
Speaker 3: a big part of it. Of like my pain was

870
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:02,960
Speaker 3: just like whenever I talked about my mom or my dad,

871
00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:06,239
Speaker 3: I just start crying and stuff. So I don't know,

872
00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:09,840
Speaker 3: I'm working on it. It's getting better. I didn't I

873
00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:13,400
Speaker 3: didn't really mean to talk about all this. Sorry.

874
00:49:14,080 --> 00:49:15,600
Speaker 1: No, I don't know. You don't have to be sorry.

875
00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:18,279
Speaker 1: I mean, I I apologize if I went down a

876
00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:20,160
Speaker 1: line of questions. I mean, like, how do you feel

877
00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:27,160
Speaker 1: like right now talking about it?

878
00:49:27,160 --> 00:49:31,520
Speaker 3: It's okay, It's all right, m.

879
00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:35,200
Speaker 1: Because yeah. I mean, I know you said that you're

880
00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:37,120
Speaker 1: a real therapist. They kind of just get you to

881
00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:39,880
Speaker 1: try to talk about it, and that's kind of you know,

882
00:49:39,920 --> 00:49:41,960
Speaker 1: what I've been doing on this phone call is just

883
00:49:42,680 --> 00:49:46,160
Speaker 1: you know, asking you questions about it. But I don't know,

884
00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:48,880
Speaker 1: I don't know if that is uh, if that is

885
00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:50,920
Speaker 1: helpful to you. It's I mean, I'm not a real thera.

886
00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:52,919
Speaker 1: I'm an idiot in a gecko costume. So I don't

887
00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:55,880
Speaker 1: know if that's helpful to you or if it feels

888
00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:57,800
Speaker 1: bad to talk about all that stuff.

889
00:49:59,040 --> 00:50:04,439
Speaker 3: No, it's okay, okay, I yeah, I just don't talk

890
00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:07,040
Speaker 3: about it a lot, so I think, like, it's just

891
00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:10,920
Speaker 3: with my therapist, so it's it's kind of interesting talking

892
00:50:10,960 --> 00:50:11,960
Speaker 3: to another person.

893
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:17,520
Speaker 1: What's your name again, or you can give me a

894
00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:19,479
Speaker 1: totally fake name that is.

895
00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:24,800
Speaker 3: My name is Alexis.

896
00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:29,880
Speaker 1: Alexis well, Alexis. Thank you for sharing all of this

897
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:32,360
Speaker 1: with us. Is there anything else that you want to

898
00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:35,759
Speaker 1: say to the people of the computer or to a

899
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:36,680
Speaker 1: gecko before we go?

900
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:41,000
Speaker 3: I hope you have a nice time with Guatemala.

901
00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:46,000
Speaker 1: Oh, thank you very much, man, I appreciate that. Good

902
00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:49,719
Speaker 1: luck to you. No, go ahead.

903
00:50:51,239 --> 00:50:55,719
Speaker 3: They have a really pretty green bird there called a

904
00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:59,439
Speaker 3: ketzel or quetzal aqual.

905
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:06,400
Speaker 1: I don't know what. I made some fucking graphic for

906
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:09,719
Speaker 1: some job that I worked that involved quetzel, and I

907
00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:11,600
Speaker 1: haven't thought about quetzels. Ye just now.

908
00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:13,920
Speaker 3: I hope you see one.

909
00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:16,560
Speaker 1: I hope I see one too. Thank you for wishing

910
00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:18,799
Speaker 1: that upon me. I'm glad to hear that your relationship

911
00:51:18,800 --> 00:51:20,600
Speaker 1: is getting better with your parents, and I'm glad to

912
00:51:20,640 --> 00:51:23,880
Speaker 1: hear that it sounds like, even though things in the

913
00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:28,440
Speaker 1: past have been kind of rocky, at least sounds to

914
00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:32,040
Speaker 1: me from you know, the you know, fifteen minutes we've

915
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:34,080
Speaker 1: been on the phone, that things are, you know, on

916
00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:36,680
Speaker 1: an upward trajectory. So I'm happy for you about that.

917
00:51:38,320 --> 00:51:40,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's gonna be fine. I'm okay, I'm

918
00:51:41,120 --> 00:51:45,200
Speaker 3: I'm working on things. It's been a while, so thank.

919
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:47,880
Speaker 1: You, of course, thank you for calling Alexis.

920
00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:50,920
Speaker 3: Bye.

921
00:51:54,400 --> 00:51:57,279
Speaker 1: That was Alexis, That was I. I. You know, that

922
00:51:57,400 --> 00:51:59,880
Speaker 1: was interesting because I I, I mean, that's all I

923
00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:02,279
Speaker 1: they do on here is talk to people, you know,

924
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:06,960
Speaker 1: talk to people about stuff. And I've had a lot

925
00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:10,640
Speaker 1: of people say that just talking about things helps them.

926
00:52:11,239 --> 00:52:14,239
Speaker 1: But I don't know. I'm not an actual therapist. I am,

927
00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:16,440
Speaker 1: as I said, an idiot in a gecko costume, So

928
00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:20,319
Speaker 1: I don't know if talking about things is helpful for

929
00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:24,840
Speaker 1: people or if it, like is traumatic for people. So

930
00:52:24,880 --> 00:52:30,480
Speaker 1: I don't know, But what did you say? Her name

931
00:52:30,520 --> 00:52:33,480
Speaker 1: was Alexis. It sounded like things were on an upward

932
00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:37,000
Speaker 1: trajectory for her. I did find very interesting that her

933
00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:41,799
Speaker 1: relationship with her parents got better after a while, because

934
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:43,600
Speaker 1: I've talked to a lot of people on here who

935
00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:49,319
Speaker 1: came from like weird religious backgrounds, and some of them

936
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:51,800
Speaker 1: have like kind of repaired their relationship with their parents,

937
00:52:51,840 --> 00:52:56,080
Speaker 1: but a lot of them just kind of are cast

938
00:52:56,120 --> 00:52:59,640
Speaker 1: it away. So I'm glad to hear that at least

939
00:52:59,640 --> 00:53:01,399
Speaker 1: in that apartment, things are going a little bit better

940
00:53:01,440 --> 00:53:15,440
Speaker 1: for a Lexis. Thanks for calling man. Hello, Hello, Hey, Hello, Hey,

941
00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:16,560
Speaker 1: what's your name?

942
00:53:19,040 --> 00:53:19,440
Speaker 4: Brier.

943
00:53:21,239 --> 00:53:22,239
Speaker 1: What's going on with you, Brian?

944
00:53:25,400 --> 00:53:28,480
Speaker 4: Not much. I'm on the side of the highway driving

945
00:53:28,520 --> 00:53:31,400
Speaker 4: from Boston to Nashville.

946
00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:36,080
Speaker 1: You're on the side of the highway driving from Boston

947
00:53:37,280 --> 00:53:40,479
Speaker 1: to Nashville. What's going on in Nashville that they don't

948
00:53:40,480 --> 00:53:41,200
Speaker 1: have in Boston.

949
00:53:43,360 --> 00:53:47,359
Speaker 4: I live in Nashville. My friend just graduated from law

950
00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:55,680
Speaker 4: school in Boston, and so that graduation was yesterday. So

951
00:53:55,840 --> 00:53:58,000
Speaker 4: right now I'm heading back. I'm spending the night in

952
00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:01,799
Speaker 4: West Virginia with my friend. So long drive.

953
00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:11,320
Speaker 1: What is it you'd like to talk about today, brih.

954
00:54:09,080 --> 00:54:14,920
Speaker 4: So, I have these dreams, I guess you could say,

955
00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:18,720
Speaker 4: and it's something that I've never really found anybody else

956
00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:21,799
Speaker 4: that related, and I just thought I would share it

957
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:26,560
Speaker 4: because it's an interesting experience. All right. Uh, have you

958
00:54:26,680 --> 00:54:29,560
Speaker 4: ever had a dream or dreams where you're in a

959
00:54:29,719 --> 00:54:32,160
Speaker 4: place that seems familiar, but you know, you don't know

960
00:54:32,239 --> 00:54:34,880
Speaker 4: it in your real life, but it might be just like, oh,

961
00:54:34,920 --> 00:54:37,759
Speaker 4: a dream house, I'm familiar with that. I don't know

962
00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:42,239
Speaker 4: if you remember your dreams? Yeah, and okay, and then

963
00:54:42,280 --> 00:54:48,960
Speaker 4: like recurring dreams, right, So, I have this place that

964
00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:54,120
Speaker 4: I often go to in my dreams and I kind

965
00:54:54,120 --> 00:54:57,160
Speaker 4: of wake up and I'm a different person. And for

966
00:54:57,200 --> 00:55:00,000
Speaker 4: the past ten years, I've been going to this place

967
00:55:00,719 --> 00:55:03,120
Speaker 4: that's not just a house, it's there's a cabin in

968
00:55:03,160 --> 00:55:06,160
Speaker 4: the woods, there's a whole city. There's even like a

969
00:55:06,200 --> 00:55:11,200
Speaker 4: government facility. You know, it's expansive, and probably over the

970
00:55:11,280 --> 00:55:14,239
Speaker 4: last ten to twelve years, over time, I've realized that

971
00:55:14,320 --> 00:55:17,319
Speaker 4: this is all the same place, but instead of it

972
00:55:17,360 --> 00:55:22,640
Speaker 4: being a recurring dream, the timeline is continuous. So it's

973
00:55:22,719 --> 00:55:25,200
Speaker 4: like I'll go to sleep and I'll wake up in

974
00:55:25,239 --> 00:55:31,319
Speaker 4: this other person's reality and I'll you know, come back

975
00:55:31,360 --> 00:55:32,960
Speaker 4: to my life from the next week. A week will

976
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:36,680
Speaker 4: pass in that world. The place I think is called Cascada,

977
00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:42,200
Speaker 4: So I'll have a Cascada dream, and you know, I've

978
00:55:42,360 --> 00:55:45,840
Speaker 4: built relationships. I mean, there's so many things that have

979
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:47,240
Speaker 4: gone on over the last ten years.

980
00:55:47,480 --> 00:55:51,000
Speaker 1: Give me an example of a person whose body you've

981
00:55:51,040 --> 00:55:53,799
Speaker 1: woken up in and what was their life like.

982
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:57,720
Speaker 4: It's the same person every time.

983
00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:06,239
Speaker 1: It's the same person over the course of fifteen years. Yeah, Well,

984
00:56:06,320 --> 00:56:07,240
Speaker 1: tell me about this person.

985
00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:12,480
Speaker 4: And well, Harper is kind of a loner, so she

986
00:56:12,640 --> 00:56:17,040
Speaker 4: lives in the city. Her family has this cabin that's uh,

987
00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:20,960
Speaker 4: so I know it is in the northeast of the

988
00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:23,920
Speaker 4: United States. I just geographically know that it's on the water.

989
00:56:24,440 --> 00:56:26,799
Speaker 4: But there's this town, the port town kind of thing.

990
00:56:27,280 --> 00:56:30,480
Speaker 4: And then my family has a cabin in the woods,

991
00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:32,759
Speaker 4: so I spend a lot of time there, but I

992
00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:36,160
Speaker 4: don't think other people know about it. And essentially I'm

993
00:56:36,200 --> 00:56:38,400
Speaker 4: just kind of wandering around, going on walk through the

994
00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:42,880
Speaker 4: woods away from town, and I come across this facility, big,

995
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:46,360
Speaker 4: big series of buildings. So over the course of the

996
00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:48,759
Speaker 4: next like two years, I figure out a way to

997
00:56:48,800 --> 00:56:53,120
Speaker 4: sneak in there, or Harper does, And so she is

998
00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:55,480
Speaker 4: trying to figure out what's going on. She sees that

999
00:56:55,520 --> 00:56:58,120
Speaker 4: there's this whole like, I don't know, experiments kind of

1000
00:56:58,120 --> 00:57:01,879
Speaker 4: thing going on. People tries to figure out what that is,

1001
00:57:02,320 --> 00:57:06,560
Speaker 4: and it kind of unveils this whole I don't know, conspiracy.

1002
00:57:06,920 --> 00:57:09,279
Speaker 4: So then you know she's a go getter. She tries

1003
00:57:09,320 --> 00:57:13,000
Speaker 4: to make friends up in the government system with the

1004
00:57:13,080 --> 00:57:14,799
Speaker 4: people I don't know, prisoners, I don't even know what

1005
00:57:14,800 --> 00:57:17,480
Speaker 4: to call them. And then I start to try to

1006
00:57:17,480 --> 00:57:20,520
Speaker 4: tell people in the city about what's happening, Like.

1007
00:57:21,360 --> 00:57:23,440
Speaker 1: Do you do you believe this is a real person?

1008
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:28,400
Speaker 4: If I'm being completely honest, it kind of feels like

1009
00:57:28,560 --> 00:57:30,840
Speaker 4: I'm waking up in another dimension. And I might have

1010
00:57:30,880 --> 00:57:36,120
Speaker 4: some like I don't know, uh string theory alternate dimension

1011
00:57:36,600 --> 00:57:40,520
Speaker 4: links somehow, but that is also a crazy pants theory,

1012
00:57:40,600 --> 00:57:42,320
Speaker 4: and it's just the only way I've been able to

1013
00:57:42,400 --> 00:57:45,160
Speaker 4: wrap my mind around how insane it is to have

1014
00:57:45,240 --> 00:57:49,640
Speaker 4: a consistent like dream escape. I don't even know experience

1015
00:57:49,680 --> 00:57:53,520
Speaker 4: of consciousness of this other person for years, So.

1016
00:57:53,400 --> 00:57:56,960
Speaker 1: Tell me, I don't know, I have who who? All?

1017
00:57:57,000 --> 00:57:58,000
Speaker 1: Have you told about this?

1018
00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:04,800
Speaker 4: Not many people, but close friends know about it. I

1019
00:58:04,920 --> 00:58:07,760
Speaker 4: told you know. And sometimes I'll get like drunk at

1020
00:58:07,760 --> 00:58:10,320
Speaker 4: a party and I'll start talking about it. But it's

1021
00:58:10,840 --> 00:58:16,160
Speaker 4: really hard to not come across like I don't know.

1022
00:58:16,240 --> 00:58:18,280
Speaker 4: I just I don't want to feel judged about it

1023
00:58:18,320 --> 00:58:20,800
Speaker 4: because I know it's really weird, and so I don't

1024
00:58:20,840 --> 00:58:23,560
Speaker 4: talk about it that much. That's why I thought it

1025
00:58:23,640 --> 00:58:25,360
Speaker 4: might be safe to call and talk about it.

1026
00:58:25,440 --> 00:58:30,000
Speaker 1: I don't know, this is interesting. This is interesting. When

1027
00:58:30,040 --> 00:58:32,000
Speaker 1: I first I saw I saw the notes that the

1028
00:58:32,040 --> 00:58:34,720
Speaker 1: call screener wrote down. It said that you, you know, wake

1029
00:58:34,800 --> 00:58:36,800
Speaker 1: up in another person's body, But I didn't realize that

1030
00:58:36,840 --> 00:58:41,360
Speaker 1: it was the same person for fifteen years. Do they

1031
00:58:41,440 --> 00:58:42,040
Speaker 1: look like you?

1032
00:58:45,200 --> 00:58:48,360
Speaker 4: They have no, No, I can tell they're like taller.

1033
00:58:48,440 --> 00:58:51,120
Speaker 4: I think I'm like five seven five eight, and I'm

1034
00:58:51,160 --> 00:58:54,960
Speaker 4: really like flat, but it almost it took me a

1035
00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:57,480
Speaker 4: long time. I'm still honestly not one hundred percent if

1036
00:58:57,520 --> 00:59:00,200
Speaker 4: I'm a guy or a girl. But I know I

1037
00:59:00,240 --> 00:59:02,120
Speaker 4: have kind of a boyish body type, and I know

1038
00:59:02,160 --> 00:59:05,880
Speaker 4: I have short brown hair. Like are you.

1039
00:59:05,840 --> 00:59:09,040
Speaker 1: Are you talking about yourself or are you talking about Harper?

1040
00:59:10,120 --> 00:59:15,600
Speaker 4: No, Harper, Harper, I'm five two blondes and like not.

1041
00:59:16,040 --> 00:59:19,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, so you're not sure if Harper is a

1042
00:59:19,920 --> 00:59:20,760
Speaker 1: guy or a girl.

1043
00:59:22,680 --> 00:59:24,040
Speaker 4: I'm not sure if the guy or girl. I feel

1044
00:59:24,080 --> 00:59:25,680
Speaker 4: like I would be really aware of that a penis,

1045
00:59:25,720 --> 00:59:29,720
Speaker 4: but so it doesn't make you think girl. And there's

1046
00:59:29,760 --> 00:59:33,720
Speaker 4: also some like romantic feelings towards some guys vaguely, but

1047
00:59:33,920 --> 00:59:36,800
Speaker 4: I don't That also doesn't necessarily mean anything. I don't know.

1048
00:59:37,720 --> 00:59:42,640
Speaker 1: So you're so you as Harper, So take a sleve

1049
00:59:42,680 --> 00:59:48,800
Speaker 1: with me. So you, as Harper will like have like

1050
00:59:48,960 --> 00:59:56,280
Speaker 1: crushes in romantic feelings on other people in the dream.

1051
00:59:56,800 --> 01:00:00,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, so there's two there's like two of my guys.

1052
01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:03,640
Speaker 4: I guess, like one's a friends and another is like

1053
01:00:03,680 --> 01:00:08,120
Speaker 4: a co conspirator. I guess you could say. The curious

1054
01:00:08,160 --> 01:00:13,040
Speaker 4: thing that I've also just noticed over the past years

1055
01:00:13,040 --> 01:00:16,960
Speaker 4: and years is that romance isn't really a thing in

1056
01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:20,200
Speaker 4: this city at least. So I'm always caught really off

1057
01:00:20,240 --> 01:00:21,480
Speaker 4: guard by these feelings.

1058
01:00:21,840 --> 01:00:27,440
Speaker 1: And you have a totally different family in this correct.

1059
01:00:28,320 --> 01:00:28,400
Speaker 5: I.

1060
01:00:28,520 --> 01:00:31,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I'm actually pretty sure I'm in a like

1061
01:00:33,120 --> 01:00:38,360
Speaker 4: Orphanish situation. I don't I don't have parents. I have relatives,

1062
01:00:38,400 --> 01:00:41,320
Speaker 4: but I don't ever interact with them. And I think

1063
01:00:41,360 --> 01:00:44,520
Speaker 4: the reason I'm even at this cabin sometimes because I

1064
01:00:44,680 --> 01:00:47,479
Speaker 4: always thought, like, why is she not at school? Still

1065
01:00:47,480 --> 01:00:48,520
Speaker 4: don't have the answer to that.

1066
01:00:49,080 --> 01:00:51,880
Speaker 1: But Okay, how old is she? Tell us that real quick?

1067
01:00:51,960 --> 01:00:53,720
Speaker 1: Is she? Is she a child?

1068
01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:58,160
Speaker 4: No? She was fifteen, fourteen or fifteen when I first

1069
01:00:58,160 --> 01:01:02,520
Speaker 4: started having the dreams. So she she's like twenty five,

1070
01:01:03,360 --> 01:01:09,960
Speaker 4: twenty four, twenty five now is mid twenties. Yeah, so

1071
01:01:10,040 --> 01:01:12,160
Speaker 4: she was a teenager when she started this, but now,

1072
01:01:12,360 --> 01:01:19,000
Speaker 4: you know, adults. She's built a network of like kind

1073
01:01:19,000 --> 01:01:21,720
Speaker 4: of like insurrection people to try and see what's going on.

1074
01:01:21,920 --> 01:01:25,880
Speaker 4: But like six months ago, maybe no, maybe three months ago,

1075
01:01:26,440 --> 01:01:30,120
Speaker 4: a volcano happened and really affected everything.

1076
01:01:31,760 --> 01:01:34,160
Speaker 1: A volcano happened everything.

1077
01:01:35,040 --> 01:01:40,200
Speaker 4: So yeah, yeah, I had a couple of dreams, and

1078
01:01:40,400 --> 01:01:43,320
Speaker 4: usually I had a couple of dreams about this volcano,

1079
01:01:43,920 --> 01:01:46,760
Speaker 4: and they were kind of vague, and it wasn't until

1080
01:01:46,800 --> 01:01:50,440
Speaker 4: I had three in a row Harper dreams I realized,

1081
01:01:50,800 --> 01:01:53,280
Speaker 4: I've always known that, like a couple of miles out,

1082
01:01:53,480 --> 01:01:56,960
Speaker 4: maybe I don't even know ocean stuff, there's an island

1083
01:01:57,480 --> 01:02:00,320
Speaker 4: and I've always been curious about the island. I'll never

1084
01:02:00,440 --> 01:02:05,360
Speaker 4: go there, and the volcanoes. The island was a volcano,

1085
01:02:05,520 --> 01:02:09,520
Speaker 4: and the volcano exploded. So basically what I'm figuring at

1086
01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:13,160
Speaker 4: we're at present day right now, is what's happening in

1087
01:02:13,240 --> 01:02:18,360
Speaker 4: Cascada is Harper is now had this communication system underground

1088
01:02:18,400 --> 01:02:21,520
Speaker 4: with all these people, some in the camps, some in

1089
01:02:21,560 --> 01:02:24,400
Speaker 4: the city, some in the forest in their secret meeting place.

1090
01:02:24,680 --> 01:02:28,760
Speaker 4: She's essentially trying to regroup, figure out who's alive, if

1091
01:02:28,800 --> 01:02:34,120
Speaker 4: anyone's alive, and see how this affected every all the plant,

1092
01:02:34,160 --> 01:02:36,680
Speaker 4: I mean, everything just changed. So I'm trying to essentially

1093
01:02:36,880 --> 01:02:40,640
Speaker 4: find my crew. But it's scary because like thousands of

1094
01:02:40,720 --> 01:02:41,880
Speaker 4: people just died.

1095
01:02:42,080 --> 01:02:48,240
Speaker 1: So so so Cascada, so Cascada. Is that the name

1096
01:02:48,400 --> 01:02:51,640
Speaker 1: of the place where Harper is.

1097
01:02:54,240 --> 01:02:56,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's the name at least of the city. I

1098
01:02:56,720 --> 01:02:58,760
Speaker 4: don't and I think it's like the region.

1099
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:02,160
Speaker 1: But I just looked is it is it? Is it

1100
01:03:02,200 --> 01:03:05,439
Speaker 1: a real Is it? Is it a real location.

1101
01:03:07,880 --> 01:03:10,840
Speaker 4: On planet Earth? Yeah? I think it's somewhere in the northeast,

1102
01:03:11,600 --> 01:03:19,080
Speaker 4: like I want to say, maybe New York area, but

1103
01:03:19,120 --> 01:03:21,560
Speaker 4: not in New York City, but somewhere else around the coast,

1104
01:03:21,640 --> 01:03:23,240
Speaker 4: which is weird because I've never lived.

1105
01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:28,000
Speaker 1: There in there v So volcano and saw a volcano

1106
01:03:29,520 --> 01:03:34,800
Speaker 1: erupted and completely destroyed where she lives.

1107
01:03:37,560 --> 01:03:40,880
Speaker 4: So the volcano is far enough a way that yeah,

1108
01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:44,840
Speaker 4: it's not like POMPEII, right, but it's enough that it's

1109
01:03:44,960 --> 01:03:51,760
Speaker 4: decimated essentially, you know, uh, you would have had to

1110
01:03:51,920 --> 01:03:54,439
Speaker 4: evacuate in a timely manner to not die.

1111
01:03:55,640 --> 01:03:58,680
Speaker 1: And so now every time that you go to sleep,

1112
01:04:00,320 --> 01:04:09,240
Speaker 1: you continue the storyline that was going in the previous stream.

1113
01:04:10,080 --> 01:04:17,280
Speaker 1: And you've been continuing this sort of storyline for fifteen years. Yeah,

1114
01:04:20,880 --> 01:04:23,120
Speaker 1: if you ever talked to a like a psych.

1115
01:04:22,920 --> 01:04:31,760
Speaker 4: About this, I've like mentioned it to my therapist. But

1116
01:04:32,400 --> 01:04:35,680
Speaker 4: it's not really anything that's like causing I don't know.

1117
01:04:35,720 --> 01:04:37,720
Speaker 4: It's you know, nothing really to work through, which is

1118
01:04:37,800 --> 01:04:38,560
Speaker 4: kind of interesting.

1119
01:04:39,160 --> 01:04:43,800
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I'm not. Yeah, it doesn't seem like a

1120
01:04:44,040 --> 01:04:47,000
Speaker 1: like a like a negative thing, but it doesn't seem

1121
01:04:47,040 --> 01:04:49,600
Speaker 1: like like it doesn't seem like a negative thing. But

1122
01:04:51,720 --> 01:04:54,439
Speaker 1: I feel like it'd be interesting to like, I mean,

1123
01:04:54,760 --> 01:04:59,480
Speaker 1: I'm curious about why. I'm sure you're curious about why,

1124
01:05:00,840 --> 01:05:02,840
Speaker 1: So it could be kind of interesting. Not even like,

1125
01:05:02,880 --> 01:05:04,640
Speaker 1: oh I need help with this, but just like, hey,

1126
01:05:04,680 --> 01:05:07,440
Speaker 1: do we know what the fuck any of this means?

1127
01:05:08,920 --> 01:05:11,560
Speaker 4: Right? I don't wonder if I, like a psychologist, if

1128
01:05:11,600 --> 01:05:13,320
Speaker 4: you would know about that. I don't know if I

1129
01:05:13,320 --> 01:05:16,720
Speaker 4: have to go to there's somebody specific. I looked into

1130
01:05:16,760 --> 01:05:20,200
Speaker 4: astral projection like communities on Reddit and stuff. That's the

1131
01:05:20,240 --> 01:05:24,560
Speaker 4: closest thing I've found. But it's not that either. It's

1132
01:05:24,640 --> 01:05:29,880
Speaker 4: just something way weird and different. I kind of want

1133
01:05:29,880 --> 01:05:32,120
Speaker 4: to write a book about it, you know, it.

1134
01:05:32,080 --> 01:05:34,200
Speaker 1: Could be it could be kind of an interesting book. Actually,

1135
01:05:34,280 --> 01:05:38,880
Speaker 1: I think there is something to be done creatively. Yeah,

1136
01:05:38,920 --> 01:05:40,840
Speaker 1: there is something to be done creatively with this. I

1137
01:05:40,840 --> 01:05:43,600
Speaker 1: think that would be a good, uh sort of bottle

1138
01:05:43,640 --> 01:05:47,960
Speaker 1: to capture it all in. So you've kind of so

1139
01:05:48,040 --> 01:05:52,120
Speaker 1: you've kind of explained what's going on with you, and

1140
01:05:52,160 --> 01:05:56,800
Speaker 1: you've explained this girl, and you've explained to this world.

1141
01:05:58,000 --> 01:06:01,800
Speaker 1: But to kind of add on on to you, you saying,

1142
01:06:02,400 --> 01:06:05,040
Speaker 1: to pick up that conversation of you saying that this

1143
01:06:05,120 --> 01:06:07,680
Speaker 1: is not a negative thing. How do you feel about this?

1144
01:06:07,920 --> 01:06:09,760
Speaker 1: How does it affect your life and your thoughts?

1145
01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:18,600
Speaker 4: I feel like it's kind of like a gift. It's

1146
01:06:18,600 --> 01:06:20,600
Speaker 4: almost like if you're in a video game, if you

1147
01:06:20,840 --> 01:06:23,280
Speaker 4: like randomly get an extra ability or something. You know,

1148
01:06:23,880 --> 01:06:28,720
Speaker 4: there's no necessary there's no benefit to it necessarily, but

1149
01:06:28,960 --> 01:06:31,480
Speaker 4: it enriches my life, I think, and I look forward

1150
01:06:31,560 --> 01:06:34,680
Speaker 4: to the nights when I have those dreams and I

1151
01:06:34,720 --> 01:06:40,560
Speaker 4: think it's I just think it's fascinating. Uh. I actually

1152
01:06:40,640 --> 01:06:43,640
Speaker 4: was able to get to do it meditatively one time.

1153
01:06:43,840 --> 01:06:47,440
Speaker 4: I got really into meditation and that while you were awake,

1154
01:06:47,600 --> 01:06:52,400
Speaker 4: and after that it was, yeah, I was like, I

1155
01:06:52,400 --> 01:06:55,600
Speaker 4: don't know, I did the astral projection meditation.

1156
01:06:55,760 --> 01:06:56,040
Speaker 1: I was.

1157
01:06:56,520 --> 01:06:59,040
Speaker 4: I tried to do that stuff for a while and

1158
01:06:59,080 --> 01:07:01,640
Speaker 4: I never did the act like actual projection like that,

1159
01:07:01,680 --> 01:07:03,960
Speaker 4: but I did. I don't know. If I didn't, I

1160
01:07:03,960 --> 01:07:06,840
Speaker 4: could have been doing it and like sort of fallen asleep. Oh,

1161
01:07:06,880 --> 01:07:09,240
Speaker 4: I know, I was meditating and then I was like

1162
01:07:09,400 --> 01:07:11,000
Speaker 4: not really aware of what was going on. And that

1163
01:07:11,080 --> 01:07:13,000
Speaker 4: was in Cascada. When I woke up, I was like,

1164
01:07:13,040 --> 01:07:15,320
Speaker 4: I did it. But after that it was hard to

1165
01:07:15,360 --> 01:07:17,560
Speaker 4: go back. I didn't have it a Cascada dream for

1166
01:07:17,640 --> 01:07:22,600
Speaker 4: like two months, so tell us. So I just kind

1167
01:07:22,600 --> 01:07:23,640
Speaker 4: of let it happen naturally.

1168
01:07:23,880 --> 01:07:26,920
Speaker 1: What is your favorite memory from Cascada.

1169
01:07:30,080 --> 01:07:34,360
Speaker 4: Oh, I was just thinking about that earlier today. Okay,

1170
01:07:34,520 --> 01:07:40,000
Speaker 4: I think my favorite memory is there is this The

1171
01:07:40,040 --> 01:07:43,480
Speaker 4: beaches are really interesting. So there's this one beach in

1172
01:07:43,520 --> 01:07:47,320
Speaker 4: particular that I love to go to, and you go

1173
01:07:47,360 --> 01:07:51,080
Speaker 4: down these woods, these stone stairs, and there's sand, but

1174
01:07:51,160 --> 01:07:55,160
Speaker 4: there's also all these like kind of like salt licks,

1175
01:07:55,640 --> 01:07:59,040
Speaker 4: I guess. So the sand is really really white, and

1176
01:07:59,040 --> 01:08:01,680
Speaker 4: then you see like the rock faces almost look like,

1177
01:08:01,920 --> 01:08:03,920
Speaker 4: you know, that white. I don't know what that stuff

1178
01:08:04,000 --> 01:08:09,400
Speaker 4: was called, like sparkly white granity looking stuff or salt.

1179
01:08:09,440 --> 01:08:12,760
Speaker 4: I don't even know, but the salt stuff like floats,

1180
01:08:12,800 --> 01:08:15,920
Speaker 4: and so people will like go on like little saltburgs.

1181
01:08:16,160 --> 01:08:18,680
Speaker 4: And so I remember I was on this raft with

1182
01:08:18,720 --> 01:08:22,040
Speaker 4: this kid and his dad and they were fishing and

1183
01:08:22,120 --> 01:08:26,759
Speaker 4: then this huge like six foot yellow crazy looking fish

1184
01:08:27,360 --> 01:08:29,320
Speaker 4: hop stup on there and I almost with my footing

1185
01:08:29,360 --> 01:08:32,120
Speaker 4: and fall in, and the Dad's like, you might want

1186
01:08:32,120 --> 01:08:34,320
Speaker 4: to step off. We're going to be catching a lot today.

1187
01:08:35,080 --> 01:08:37,679
Speaker 4: So I was like hopped along and I like stepped

1188
01:08:37,680 --> 01:08:39,519
Speaker 4: in the water. I remember, and it's like okay, but

1189
01:08:39,560 --> 01:08:41,240
Speaker 4: it was like really squishy, and I was like oh,

1190
01:08:41,479 --> 01:08:43,080
Speaker 4: and so then I hopped back up and then I

1191
01:08:43,160 --> 01:08:45,240
Speaker 4: just sat and I watched the little boy and his

1192
01:08:45,320 --> 01:08:49,080
Speaker 4: dad fish and then the sunset and then Yeah, that

1193
01:08:49,200 --> 01:08:54,280
Speaker 4: was just a really pleasant, mundane memory I have from CASCADEO.

1194
01:08:54,360 --> 01:08:55,280
Speaker 4: It was really nice.

1195
01:08:55,640 --> 01:08:57,879
Speaker 1: This is like a this is like a like a

1196
01:08:57,960 --> 01:08:59,599
Speaker 1: Miyazaki movie or something.

1197
01:09:03,080 --> 01:09:06,439
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, that's a nice way to think about it.

1198
01:09:06,479 --> 01:09:06,960
Speaker 4: I love that.

1199
01:09:08,680 --> 01:09:12,639
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Yeah. I appreciate you sharing. This is super

1200
01:09:12,720 --> 01:09:14,880
Speaker 1: super interesting thing. I'm glad that you have a good

1201
01:09:14,920 --> 01:09:20,000
Speaker 1: relationship with it too. It seems like it's something yeah

1202
01:09:20,439 --> 01:09:25,760
Speaker 1: that enriches your life to uh kind of you know,

1203
01:09:25,880 --> 01:09:29,960
Speaker 1: transport to like a like a fantasy world where you're

1204
01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:30,800
Speaker 1: a different.

1205
01:09:30,479 --> 01:09:33,519
Speaker 4: Person exact, I feel like related to like like I

1206
01:09:33,600 --> 01:09:36,240
Speaker 4: wonder if Jerr I'll token felt this way. I'm writing

1207
01:09:36,280 --> 01:09:38,240
Speaker 4: Lord of the Race. He is so goofy, But.

1208
01:09:38,600 --> 01:09:44,679
Speaker 1: You know, I really and novels, right, I really wouldn't

1209
01:09:44,680 --> 01:09:47,960
Speaker 1: be surprised if some of these people who have built

1210
01:09:48,000 --> 01:09:56,679
Speaker 1: like such dense universes have had parts of it come

1211
01:09:56,760 --> 01:09:57,799
Speaker 1: to them in dreams.

1212
01:10:00,280 --> 01:10:04,280
Speaker 4: I'm so curious or like Jay or whatever, Harry Potter,

1213
01:10:04,680 --> 01:10:11,680
Speaker 4: Lady j k Rowling, some of these really fantastical worlds.

1214
01:10:11,720 --> 01:10:14,160
Speaker 4: Only now that I'm having this experience, I'm kind of

1215
01:10:14,240 --> 01:10:17,680
Speaker 4: like seeing these worlds and like I wonder, there's no

1216
01:10:17,720 --> 01:10:21,760
Speaker 4: way to know, but it's yes, it's kind of interesting.

1217
01:10:22,400 --> 01:10:24,720
Speaker 1: Now there's no way that Adobe was a thought of

1218
01:10:24,800 --> 01:10:25,880
Speaker 1: the conscious.

1219
01:10:25,479 --> 01:10:32,120
Speaker 4: Mind exactly, and I'll have these like fantastical things like

1220
01:10:32,720 --> 01:10:36,560
Speaker 4: I don't know, little Iceberg, it's just the smallest details,

1221
01:10:36,920 --> 01:10:39,960
Speaker 4: or like the way technology works is it's similar, but

1222
01:10:40,040 --> 01:10:44,679
Speaker 4: it's definitely different, and it's just curious just how things

1223
01:10:44,680 --> 01:10:48,280
Speaker 4: are different in the most subtle, tiny details.

1224
01:10:48,720 --> 01:10:51,800
Speaker 1: Briar, Briar, I do hope that, Like I said, I

1225
01:10:51,800 --> 01:10:54,759
Speaker 1: think it's cool that you have such a a positive

1226
01:10:54,760 --> 01:10:57,519
Speaker 1: relationship with this thing. It's very fascinating. I'm glad that

1227
01:10:57,800 --> 01:10:59,519
Speaker 1: I felt like at the beginning. At the beginning, I

1228
01:10:59,520 --> 01:11:04,080
Speaker 1: didn't really you know, it definitely was hard to explain hard.

1229
01:11:04,280 --> 01:11:07,240
Speaker 1: But now then we're at the end of this thing.

1230
01:11:07,280 --> 01:11:09,400
Speaker 1: I feel like I get it a bit more now

1231
01:11:09,439 --> 01:11:11,800
Speaker 1: and it's I find it fascinating. I do hope that

1232
01:11:11,840 --> 01:11:18,200
Speaker 1: you find a a container for it creatively in some way,

1233
01:11:18,520 --> 01:11:20,559
Speaker 1: you know. I mean, it says you're only twenty six

1234
01:11:20,640 --> 01:11:23,600
Speaker 1: years old, yeah, and it doesn't say if you've been

1235
01:11:23,680 --> 01:11:25,799
Speaker 1: dreaming like this for fifteen years. You know, it sounds

1236
01:11:25,840 --> 01:11:27,920
Speaker 1: like you have a and it's not like it's going

1237
01:11:27,960 --> 01:11:33,040
Speaker 1: away anytime soon. So very curious to see how this

1238
01:11:33,040 --> 01:11:35,600
Speaker 1: this whole thing develops as you get older. You know

1239
01:11:36,360 --> 01:11:39,000
Speaker 1: there might be more inspiration to come.

1240
01:11:41,080 --> 01:11:42,840
Speaker 4: That's what I'm thinking. So I keep your eye out

1241
01:11:42,880 --> 01:11:45,800
Speaker 4: for cascade of books. And also, just honestly, thank you

1242
01:11:45,880 --> 01:11:49,280
Speaker 4: so much for taking the time to allow me to

1243
01:11:49,360 --> 01:11:51,680
Speaker 4: explain it all because I know it's a lot, and

1244
01:11:51,680 --> 01:11:54,040
Speaker 4: that's why I don't really talk to many people about it,

1245
01:11:54,080 --> 01:11:57,439
Speaker 4: but it feels so nice to share that because it's fun.

1246
01:11:57,520 --> 01:11:59,160
Speaker 4: And I also know people call them for like advice

1247
01:11:59,200 --> 01:12:01,880
Speaker 4: to stuff. Thought this, I thought you'd be interested, so.

1248
01:12:02,200 --> 01:12:05,000
Speaker 1: Oh, no, this was perfect. This was very interesting. And no,

1249
01:12:05,120 --> 01:12:06,880
Speaker 1: I'm glad I did to you. No, you're you look

1250
01:12:06,880 --> 01:12:12,360
Speaker 1: you're totally right off the bat a little danse, But

1251
01:12:12,479 --> 01:12:13,840
Speaker 1: now that we have the time to get into it,

1252
01:12:13,880 --> 01:12:14,719
Speaker 1: I'm glad that we did.

1253
01:12:17,240 --> 01:12:20,040
Speaker 4: Dave, Well, thank you so much. I hope you have

1254
01:12:20,040 --> 01:12:22,719
Speaker 4: a great rest of your night, beautiful.

1255
01:12:22,720 --> 01:12:28,240
Speaker 1: Thank you very much. Brier Light, Huh, that was very interesting.

1256
01:12:28,560 --> 01:12:30,400
Speaker 1: I'm glad that. You know, a lot of the times

1257
01:12:30,400 --> 01:12:33,800
Speaker 1: when people have like, I don't know, stuff like that,

1258
01:12:33,880 --> 01:12:36,880
Speaker 1: they they like, we had this guy on the podcast,

1259
01:12:37,080 --> 01:12:40,679
Speaker 1: uh who called in to talk about getting abducted by aliens,

1260
01:12:40,680 --> 01:12:45,400
Speaker 1: and it seemed it seemed like mostly a negative traumatic

1261
01:12:45,439 --> 01:12:50,120
Speaker 1: thing for him. But uh uh, it was very fascinating

1262
01:12:50,160 --> 01:12:51,880
Speaker 1: to kind of hear the other side of the coin

1263
01:12:52,400 --> 01:12:56,719
Speaker 1: with this caller who uh looks at it as a gift.

1264
01:12:56,840 --> 01:12:58,960
Speaker 1: I think she said that even that it's a gift

1265
01:12:59,000 --> 01:13:04,200
Speaker 1: that she gets to go to sleep and occasionally transport

1266
01:13:04,200 --> 01:13:08,000
Speaker 1: herself into this fantasy world in which her unconscious mind

1267
01:13:08,160 --> 01:13:14,439
Speaker 1: is revealing all these magical experiences for her. It sounds

1268
01:13:14,520 --> 01:13:17,120
Speaker 1: kind of beautiful. I really did. I got the the

1269
01:13:18,040 --> 01:13:21,280
Speaker 1: like a Miyazaki kind of vibe from it, especially when

1270
01:13:21,280 --> 01:13:23,000
Speaker 1: she was talking about, you know, being by the water

1271
01:13:23,240 --> 01:13:30,280
Speaker 1: and this giant, monstrous fish and whatnot. Because we all

1272
01:13:30,320 --> 01:13:34,320
Speaker 1: engage in escapism. We all, you know, I mean, that's why,

1273
01:13:34,800 --> 01:13:37,240
Speaker 1: you know, Harry Potter and shit exist is because we

1274
01:13:37,280 --> 01:13:44,960
Speaker 1: want to humans enjoy entering into other universes, taking a

1275
01:13:45,040 --> 01:13:47,160
Speaker 1: break from their own. And I do I do understand

1276
01:13:47,160 --> 01:13:49,400
Speaker 1: why she sees it as a gift, because it's that

1277
01:13:49,479 --> 01:13:55,040
Speaker 1: this cascade place, it's all hers. It's a product of

1278
01:13:55,080 --> 01:14:00,519
Speaker 1: her own unconscious mind in a way that you know,

1279
01:14:00,840 --> 01:14:05,959
Speaker 1: like you can't own the Hogwarts that belongs to everybody,

1280
01:14:06,000 --> 01:14:09,400
Speaker 1: but she has her own fantasy world that just belongs

1281
01:14:09,439 --> 01:14:11,160
Speaker 1: to her. And and you know, I asked her if

1282
01:14:11,160 --> 01:14:13,280
Speaker 1: she's talked to a psych about it, and she did

1283
01:14:13,320 --> 01:14:16,320
Speaker 1: say that it's not a thing that's negatively affecting her life.

1284
01:14:16,360 --> 01:14:18,479
Speaker 1: And I didn't. We talked for about twenty minutes, and

1285
01:14:18,479 --> 01:14:20,879
Speaker 1: I didn't get the sense that it was a negative

1286
01:14:20,920 --> 01:14:23,240
Speaker 1: I didn't get any even tinge of a sense that

1287
01:14:23,280 --> 01:14:26,760
Speaker 1: it was a negative thing on her life. But I

1288
01:14:26,800 --> 01:14:32,320
Speaker 1: do wonder what that is. She says, it's called like

1289
01:14:32,560 --> 01:14:35,840
Speaker 1: if you if you guys want to look up this thing.

1290
01:14:36,040 --> 01:14:42,120
Speaker 1: She says, it's called what is it again, astral something? Yeah,

1291
01:14:42,200 --> 01:14:43,680
Speaker 1: fuck it, I lost it, But I think it's I

1292
01:14:43,720 --> 01:14:50,720
Speaker 1: think it's astral projection some shit like that. But that was.

1293
01:14:50,840 --> 01:14:54,200
Speaker 1: That was super interesting to hear about it. I hope that.

1294
01:14:56,080 --> 01:14:59,400
Speaker 1: I hope we do hear more about Cascade in the

1295
01:14:59,439 --> 01:15:05,160
Speaker 1: future and form of a novel, an audio tape, a

1296
01:15:05,320 --> 01:15:13,160
Speaker 1: comic book, a concept music album, whatever it is. Thank

1297
01:15:13,200 --> 01:15:21,719
Speaker 1: you for sharing, Brier. What's it's not astral projection? Oh? Okay,

1298
01:15:21,760 --> 01:15:25,719
Speaker 1: I fucked up? I was wrong. That was That's actually

1299
01:15:25,720 --> 01:15:29,120
Speaker 1: the first time I have ever been wrong on this podcast.

1300
01:15:33,439 --> 01:15:39,759
Speaker 1: You're all witnessing history, folks, the very first time ever

1301
01:15:40,720 --> 01:15:48,920
Speaker 1: that I have been wrong, possibly in my whole life.

1302
01:15:49,800 --> 01:15:53,880
Speaker 1: What an honor it is for you all to witness. Okay,

1303
01:15:53,880 --> 01:15:57,240
Speaker 1: someone said no, somebody said it's not astral projection, and

1304
01:15:57,280 --> 01:16:00,519
Speaker 1: then right under them, someone said no, it is astral projection.

1305
01:16:00,640 --> 01:16:07,599
Speaker 1: So I have no idea. Someone says, I'm fucking I'm

1306
01:16:07,600 --> 01:16:15,280
Speaker 1: looking it up. I have a computer. Astro glad, this

1307
01:16:15,320 --> 01:16:20,600
Speaker 1: says it's a company, this says it's lube. Are you

1308
01:16:20,600 --> 01:16:28,439
Speaker 1: guys fucking with me? I'm done with this Astro Astro

1309
01:16:30,800 --> 01:16:42,759
Speaker 1: perro Jack show. Um oh oh yes, yes, okay, okay, okay,

1310
01:16:42,880 --> 01:16:48,160
Speaker 1: fuck whoever? Okay, A couple of things. I was not wrong.

1311
01:16:48,560 --> 01:16:50,800
Speaker 1: I was not wrong. This is not the first time

1312
01:16:50,840 --> 01:16:53,879
Speaker 1: I ever been wrong. It is called astro project Okay, okay,

1313
01:16:55,160 --> 01:16:57,080
Speaker 1: holy shit, this is real. Oh, this is a real

1314
01:16:57,160 --> 01:17:01,800
Speaker 1: This is a real thing. This is a real thing.

1315
01:17:02,720 --> 01:17:10,120
Speaker 1: Astro projection astro projection is a term used to describe

1316
01:17:10,160 --> 01:17:16,320
Speaker 1: an intentional out of body experience that assumes the existence

1317
01:17:16,640 --> 01:17:21,040
Speaker 1: of a subtle body called an astral body, through which

1318
01:17:21,120 --> 01:17:24,920
Speaker 1: consciousness can function separately from the physical body and travel

1319
01:17:25,000 --> 01:17:30,800
Speaker 1: throughout the astro prane plane. What the fuck is This

1320
01:17:30,840 --> 01:17:33,880
Speaker 1: is crazy? The astra body is a subtle bot. What

1321
01:17:33,920 --> 01:17:37,680
Speaker 1: the fuck is anyone else looking at this right now?

1322
01:17:37,720 --> 01:17:42,400
Speaker 1: This is nuts? Is this real? Oh? Apparently it's called

1323
01:17:42,439 --> 01:17:46,040
Speaker 1: a Okay, hold on, I'm looking up asshole projection. Apparently

1324
01:17:46,120 --> 01:17:49,200
Speaker 1: that Okay, I was wrong. Apparently it's called asshole Okay,

1325
01:17:49,200 --> 01:17:52,040
Speaker 1: I'm gonna google asshole projection. I'm gonna see what comes up.

1326
01:17:52,080 --> 01:17:56,479
Speaker 1: I'm actually gonna do this. Rectal prolapse is a medical

1327
01:17:56,520 --> 01:17:59,679
Speaker 1: condition in which the rectum starts to push through the anus.

1328
01:18:00,240 --> 01:18:07,840
Speaker 2: H h.

1329
01:18:11,040 --> 01:18:14,519
Speaker 1: My name is Lyle and I'm a gecko and this

1330
01:18:14,600 --> 01:18:18,360
Speaker 1: has been therapy. Gecko. Rep Cat goes on the line

1331
01:18:18,560 --> 01:18:21,920
Speaker 1: taking your phone calls every night. The repy Cat goes

1332
01:18:21,960 --> 01:18:24,400
Speaker 1: doing his ride. He's teaching you Cloud and the Liver

1333
01:18:24,479 --> 01:18:27,439
Speaker 1: your life, but he's not really an expert.