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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. There, I'm your host,

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Speaker 1: Kevin Pollock. Is that Kevin Pollock? Yes, it's the one

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Speaker 1: from the TV. Yeah, also from the Okay, but I digress.

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Speaker 1: Let's meet our Achamy, shall we? In no particular order.

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Speaker 1: Let's quickly checking with Craigkowsky for his rules for after

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Speaker 1: labor day account. Kevin, no white, No white number one,

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Speaker 1: number one, no white number two? Uh, no white, okay anything?

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Speaker 1: No white wine, people, no white You're gonna take the

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Speaker 1: no white pants, no white shoes a little further. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: let's go all the way with it. I mean, I'm

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Speaker 1: not even sure it's been no white shoes for a

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Speaker 1: very very long time, but certainly I feel it's still

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Speaker 1: no white pants, right yeah, yeah, no white nderwear, which

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Speaker 1: I think a lot of people forget. And uh, I

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Speaker 1: understand that this fall, you know, a lot of venues

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Speaker 1: are gonna be checking you know, because they're checking your

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Speaker 1: your results, your test results, uh for COVID, they're gonna

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Speaker 1: be checking your underwear as well. So your picture as

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Speaker 1: you could just point to the one area that's not

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Speaker 1: ever white. Thank you, Craig, and now say hello to

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Speaker 1: Chris Alvarado. Becoming film savvy. What films for your summer?

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Speaker 1: From your summer can you recommend? As we enter the fall, Wow,

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Speaker 1: there's this real sleeper indie hit that I just saw

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Speaker 1: for the first time. It came out in Um, I

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Speaker 1: believe it's cold. I don't know how to pronounce it.

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Speaker 1: Pulp fiction, pulp fiction. If you haven't seen this movie,

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Speaker 1: I really recommend it. Like I said, I just saw

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Speaker 1: it for the first time. It's got this got a

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Speaker 1: couple of couple of good actors in there. Um, you

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Speaker 1: might know John Travolta, he's in that movie, Samuel L. Jackson,

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Speaker 1: among others. Um, I really recommend that quick spoil alert.

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Speaker 1: What's in the briefcase? Well, um, according to the Internet,

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Speaker 1: it's his soul. His soul. Also, I only owned two

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Speaker 1: pair of white underwear, and when I put them on,

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Speaker 1: I feel, I feel nice. Okay, I just want to

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Speaker 1: say that that's pretty good. Hey, let's all cheer Jackie

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Speaker 1: Gonzalas truth. Yeah, oh my god, funnier now than then.

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Speaker 1: Favorite footwear and why well, I have to say I

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Speaker 1: had to get like a very specific kind of sneaker

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Speaker 1: because I had this foot, this ongoing foot injury. That's

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Speaker 1: still with me. Um, And my pediatrist was like, gave

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Speaker 1: me all of these rules. She didn't say brands, but

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Speaker 1: she was like, it must you know, fulfill these qualifications.

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Speaker 1: And based on all of that, my ideal sneaker is

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Speaker 1: a Jordan's. Unfortunate is that I'm not a hype beast,

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Speaker 1: not going to have spend like on a pair of Jordan's,

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Speaker 1: but now I want to. I love them so much.

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Speaker 1: I found my minor kids kids Jordan because I couldn't

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Speaker 1: find one that I enjoyed, uh in in at the

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Speaker 1: store that I was at that were that were women's

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Speaker 1: But lucky me, my feet are tiny, so Jordan's I

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Speaker 1: want so many. I want to just get myself a

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Speaker 1: new pair for like every holiday, and I haven't done

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Speaker 1: that yet, but I don't think a holiday has passed yet.

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Speaker 1: You know, the gift giving one really quick? Kevin, can

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Speaker 1: you just for the listeners I noted is can you

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Speaker 1: define what a hype beast is? Yes? Much like tiny feet,

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Speaker 1: tiny penis. Uh James with his size seven just perked up.

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Speaker 1: What now? Hype Beasts are people that are like obsessed

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Speaker 1: with sneakers and like like sneaker drops and like special,

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Speaker 1: like very exclusive. Only three of these sneakers were made

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Speaker 1: and they're like wrapped in plastic and they go to

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Speaker 1: like sneak cons Like it's a whole, it's a it's

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Speaker 1: a culture, and I'm there aesthetically, but I'm not there financially.

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Speaker 1: Even if I was there financially, I would never spend

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Speaker 1: that much money on a pair. Well she never say

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Speaker 1: never a and also too Uh when you get that

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Speaker 1: first pair and you've paid too much, I believe a

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Speaker 1: problem will in fact follow. Yeah, the curse. You know,

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Speaker 1: it's it's like it's human. You have a taste. Do

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Speaker 1: you have something that you've done this with? You've gone

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Speaker 1: down the hole? What about Jamie has a nice shoes?

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Speaker 1: Right Vin? She might shut up? Shut up? You know what.

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Speaker 1: I know what I've said too much. I might have

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Speaker 1: specifically gone to a store in Milan, Uh the last

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Speaker 1: time I was there and point and go those Now

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Speaker 1: they have a sketcher story. Why wouldn't shoot pal? Hey,

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Speaker 1: there's James Heeny, Jimmy J. J Henson. Does your family

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Speaker 1: even know you're doing this podcast? You know what? It's

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Speaker 1: crazy they don't. I think my my mom and my

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Speaker 1: family seen me to improv maybe my whole life three times.

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Speaker 1: One of the times was in high school, and uh,

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Speaker 1: my balls showed on stage, and I think that that

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Speaker 1: kind of that kind of made it so that they

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Speaker 1: never came and watched what happened. Don't you ask for

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Speaker 1: the check yet? I am serious. I was playing a

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Speaker 1: short form game called World's Worst and it was World's

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Speaker 1: Worst Plumber, and I pulled my pants down kind of

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Speaker 1: like to the crack. But the problem was I used

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Speaker 1: to wear really baggy pants and when I bent over,

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Speaker 1: the all the way down. So it's like my family

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Speaker 1: never came back. You wanted to show the crack, you

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Speaker 1: ended up showing your nuts, and I think somewhere along

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Speaker 1: the voyage, uh, your balloon tie might have also been shared.

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Speaker 1: You know, I didn't know until a while afterwards that

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Speaker 1: my my family saw my balls. I knew that I

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Speaker 1: got in trouble for showing my ash, but when I

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Speaker 1: found out that my grandma was, like my mom told

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Speaker 1: me one time that my grandma did not like that show,

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Speaker 1: it was it was tough. They won't even they won't

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Speaker 1: even listen to the podcast for fear that they might

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Speaker 1: see my balls. So I'm so sorry. A balloon tie.

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Speaker 1: You want to circle back to the asterisk. Is that

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Speaker 1: what we're calling up dick? No, no, no, that's so

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Speaker 1: many you know what. At first, that's what I thought.

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Speaker 1: That is what I was thinking. But now that I think,

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Speaker 1: I think you said, that's perfect, that's perfect, makes sense?

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Speaker 1: Is that what we're calling it? Just like al right,

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Speaker 1: this uh, this episode will come with a disclaimer in

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Speaker 1: a warning keep the kids, uh, put the kids to bed,

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Speaker 1: and then give a listen. And last but not nearly

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Speaker 1: enough with Sabby for you if you think them least.

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Speaker 1: It's Joey Greer keeping with this theme, not knowing it

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Speaker 1: was coming. Bifurcated anis what would you like to say

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Speaker 1: to that teacher in school who just didn't get you?

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Speaker 1: I'd like to sit them down. Now, I'd like to well,

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Speaker 1: I'd like to go out to a nice steak bar,

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Speaker 1: you know, go to nice bar, absolutely, sit them down

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Speaker 1: and just have a conversation as adults. And then about

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Speaker 1: you know, third of the way into the conversation, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna have one of my buddies come up to me

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Speaker 1: and uh, I'm gonna my buddy come up to me

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Speaker 1: and tap me on the shoulder and go, excuse me, sir,

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Speaker 1: your car is being told and I'm gonna go are

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Speaker 1: you serious? And go yeah, do you drive that rule

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Speaker 1: Royce Lamborghini? And I go, yes, I do. And uh.

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Speaker 1: Then if you gotta get out there quick, they're gonna

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Speaker 1: they're gonna to it. So that's the way you rub

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Speaker 1: it in the teacher's face is by having a friends

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Speaker 1: say you're Lamborghini rolls Races. That's pretty fucking baller. I

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Speaker 1: had never thought of that. All of our scene suggestions

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Speaker 1: to gather from your list of emails, or they come

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Speaker 1: in from our Patreon v I p s who get priority?

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Speaker 1: What's that you say, Well, that's just how it works.

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Speaker 1: To become a patron support of the show and enjoy

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Speaker 1: exclusive content, including stand alone bonus scenes that's right just

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Speaker 1: for you, video of our recording sessions, and at the

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Speaker 1: highest level support of the Alcomaniac, you'll have a chance

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Speaker 1: to join one of these very zoom sessions as we record,

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Speaker 1: you'll be muted. Okay, just head on over to patron

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Speaker 1: dot com slash almy. If you'd like a bit of

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Speaker 1: scene suggested by email, please write to the podcast our

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Speaker 1: email address Alchemy. This email at gmail dot com once

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Speaker 1: again that what seen one constant patron v I P.

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Speaker 1: Lawrence Stewart, who wrote, you are all more than welcome

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Speaker 1: to call me Larry. Okay, so we had an issue

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Speaker 1: with before you remember this James good because he's about

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Speaker 1: to address you in this missive. He goes on, also,

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Speaker 1: James Michael equals Mike. Jonathan equals Jonathan, excuse me equals John.

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Speaker 1: Samuel equals Sam. Lawrence equals Larry. Well, I never knew that,

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Speaker 1: you know. I feel like I feel like that's not

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Speaker 1: a given. I feel like Lawrence could be a lot

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Speaker 1: of different things. So well, Larry could, let's express go ahead?

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Speaker 1: What else you got like? Liam? Larry could? Uh? Lark Larry?

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Speaker 1: I like Lark short for Lawrence. Alright, Well, okay, I

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Speaker 1: just I guess I just didn't ever. I've never really

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Speaker 1: met many Larries, and I certainly have met fewer Lawrences.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever said in life, hey, Lair? Hold up?

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Speaker 1: Wait up, no, because I would be the super abrieve. Uh.

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Speaker 1: Lawrence goes on to say a wonderful day evening to

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Speaker 1: you all. PS. Just for the hell of it, here's

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Speaker 1: a scene suggestion salth Paolo the city in Brazil. Thank

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Speaker 1: you all? As always? Am I saying it wrong? Salth

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Speaker 1: Paolo South Bolo this baby, I get it. Just this,

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Speaker 1: relax the beach. They don't need to hear you. You're right,

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Speaker 1: You're right, relax right, you're right. Yes, what either of

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Speaker 1: you'd like to purchase some shells? Shells for saying you

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Speaker 1: necklace ear rings? Shoot, well, well let's just see what

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Speaker 1: they got. This is yeah, I've got on Ryan, Let's

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Speaker 1: see shell shake a joke, This is a big This

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Speaker 1: is a joke. Guy, Baby, did you right now? You

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Speaker 1: want to just tell jokes with somebody? Larry? Come on?

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Speaker 1: Oh now it's Larry. So I'm in trouble. So I'm

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Speaker 1: in trouble. You know what I could swing by a

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Speaker 1: little later. You took what room? Are you? Guys the earth?

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Speaker 1: The most famous stand up comedian in the world, and

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Speaker 1: you're telling me you want to spend twenty minutes. I'm

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Speaker 1: not nicky shit here? Okay, then, y I'm Nicholas Shitzman. Okay,

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Speaker 1: just okay. Why every time we go out you bring

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Speaker 1: up that I'm this massive stand up Give us a ship.

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Speaker 1: It's paying for all those I don't care. That's fun,

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Speaker 1: that's what I like to do. This is what I

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Speaker 1: want to do. I want to be here. Okay, well

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Speaker 1: you want to be somewhere else, you know what? Maybe

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Speaker 1: maybe maybe the concierge is right. Oh my god, is

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Speaker 1: that is that Nikki Shits over there? Oh? I'm such

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Speaker 1: a huge fan. Go introduce yourself. You think so he's

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Speaker 1: on vacation. I shouldn't, should I Look, we're both Americans

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Speaker 1: and sal Paolo. What are the odds? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, you can't common ground with him.

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Speaker 1: You have what you have them every you have every

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Speaker 1: Nikki Shit special on VHS. I do, including several that

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Speaker 1: came out after the advent of VHS. We had to

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Speaker 1: get them transferred onto VHS. Well it's otherwise it's not

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Speaker 1: a collection exactly. Well, okay, you don't think it's gonna

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Speaker 1: I don't mean I don't want to create. Okay, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna do it. Hey, would folks like some shells?

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Speaker 1: I got shelves as a necklace, earrings, shoes, sandwich, know

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Speaker 1: what a simple Trust me, you're gonna want the Brazilian wax.

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Speaker 1: It's gonna make you feel like you're in some pow. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so let me just go nuts on the area. If

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Speaker 1: you trust me, I do, I do. Yeah? How many

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Speaker 1: years have I been waxing you? How many? Linares? You

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Speaker 1: look so young? Don't do that to yourself, to yourself.

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Speaker 1: I didn't when you told me that you were forty two,

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Speaker 1: I was shocked. Don't tell a soul rever. None of

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Speaker 1: my friends know who you are. I know what none

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Speaker 1: know who you are, Linari. None of your friends know

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Speaker 1: who I am. None of my friends know who you are.

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Speaker 1: It is it is like beautician patients, not patient, but

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Speaker 1: you know, like beautician customer confidentiality. Like I'm all up

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Speaker 1: in your business. I cannot tell people that I know

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Speaker 1: you that you can say something to somebody like I had,

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Speaker 1: like this client that was so fucking hard cool. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but like they don't know exactly who you're, right, They

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Speaker 1: don't know that you're Linares de Naro. They don't know

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Speaker 1: everything about what is this? Like? Why do you hided me?

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Speaker 1: I'm not trying to hide it you Okay, I'm just

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Speaker 1: trying to listen. Maybe we should keep this just a

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Speaker 1: professional relationship. Maybe I should just watch the coach and

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Speaker 1: move on. Okay, great, Yeah, maybe that's exactly what we

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Speaker 1: should do. That's exactly it. Because I don't even know

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Speaker 1: if I want to be in a situation where someone

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Speaker 1: you're angry, Lannis, I don't want to do this. If

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Speaker 1: you're angry, it's not gonna come out right. It's gonna

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Speaker 1: hurt you more because they're gonna hurt me. No, I

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Speaker 1: don't want to hurt it you. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: hurt it you. I'm telling you that if you're going

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Speaker 1: in with that kind of attitude, it is probably gonna

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Speaker 1: hurt it more. I'm trying to avoid that. You know.

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Speaker 1: You know, at least maybe I should go see somebody else.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I don't want to be Brazilian? Are you kidding

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Speaker 1: me right now? Do you know? First No, I'm not joking.

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Speaker 1: I'm not suking nicky shits. Wow, wow, you know that. Well,

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Speaker 1: you were wise to get a second opinion because you

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Speaker 1: don't created Brazilian is a popular wax. But I think

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Speaker 1: you know, going Polish wax is uh. You know, it's

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Speaker 1: first of all, it's cheaper, uh, and uh, you know

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Speaker 1: I'm going to address the same areas. It's just not

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Speaker 1: gonna be quite the same cut, you know, because we

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Speaker 1: were different, different bathing suits, and what is up without

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Speaker 1: It's like boiling onions. Oh I I'm making parogui later. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so I'm boiling some money. Is not gonna stuff the

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Speaker 1: parougey with onions and uh and mushrooms. The way is

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Speaker 1: thinking like this kitchen is like is this your office?

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Speaker 1: Or like what is the minor homes? It's it's a

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Speaker 1: little all purpose dan. How the onions coming? All right?

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Speaker 1: They're they're they're coming along, they're coming good. All right?

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Speaker 1: Do you take talk about your clients? No? No, I

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Speaker 1: mean you know I I uh like, I mean you

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Speaker 1: would tell me, not for not he would tell me.

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Speaker 1: I would tell stashe should be the first nobody to know.

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Speaker 1: But you wouldn't talk about like me anyway. Your friends

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Speaker 1: are like family or No, that's that's no. I think

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go see someone else. I'd like to send

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Speaker 1: the shell shake over to the two that are over

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Speaker 1: there in those lawn chairs. I don't think their lawn

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Speaker 1: chairs bathing chairs, sun bathing chairs. Oh gosh, I'm so nervous. Okay,

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Speaker 1: you want to send two shell shakes? No, just one

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Speaker 1: to to the channel. That's nicky. That's nicky shits. I

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Speaker 1: don't know what that means. But you're talking about the

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Speaker 1: chase lounges by the pool. Is that what they're called? Yes,

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Speaker 1: those the chase chase lounges, chase lounges. This is our

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Speaker 1: first time over. This is exciting. I tell them it's

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Speaker 1: from us. Okay, So we're good. We're in a good place. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we are. I know we're in a beautiful situation. I

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Speaker 1: just want you to appreciate it. I really don't know

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Speaker 1: what causes these fights. I don't like Larry. I'm really

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Speaker 1: trying to figure this out. I thought this trip was

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Speaker 1: gonna bond us. It's probably my own insecurities. I'm being honest,

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Speaker 1: and I don't want that to cause a rift between us.

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Speaker 1: Well it is, it's because a huge fucking rift. Okay,

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Speaker 1: just you know what. The hotel has a world. So

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Speaker 1: what how can you love me? How could you love me? Oh?

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Speaker 1: My god, Larry, how do you know me? You gotta

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Speaker 1: love yourself first? Alright? Imp Okay, great, you know what

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna take a walk. Okay, you have

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Speaker 1: cash you gotta give me. I'm so sorry. Interrupted, We're good.

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Speaker 1: I don't want any shells. Okay, this was for you,

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Speaker 1: Mr ship stof Ski. Uhman, this is a shell shake

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Speaker 1: and it was bought by that gentleman over there, the

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Speaker 1: one with the crazy eyes that's staring and is there

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Speaker 1: only one? He bought one from this gentleman. I'm so sorry,

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Speaker 1: but he just bought one. But that's on him. Hi,

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Speaker 1: we're American too. Oh you're awesome. Thank you, thank you

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Speaker 1: so much for thank you, thank you for the shake.

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Speaker 1: Appreciate you. No, you're not thank you, thank you, appreciate

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Speaker 1: I have a great time in Stopaul come over there.

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Speaker 1: But one I did not want to see him come

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Speaker 1: over there. I could listen. I can listen to the

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Speaker 1: Joey Jackie fucking Day. I'm I'm with you, DeNiro. That

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Speaker 1: was crazy. You guys want to hear a crazy story.

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Speaker 1: This is an inappropriate time to tell this because you're

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Speaker 1: supposed to give me the second Sorry, but no, good lady.

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Speaker 1: I did have like a regular waxer when I lived

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Speaker 1: in Miami, and then I moved out here and I

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Speaker 1: made friends with a dude, Philip Molina. He's in the

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Speaker 1: comedy community. Guess what his sister was in Miami. He

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Speaker 1: out here and when I met him, because she had

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Speaker 1: told me about her brother. It was out here and

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Speaker 1: she had told me her brother who moved to l

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Speaker 1: A who went to us. So then when I met

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Speaker 1: and I knew his name because of her, And when

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Speaker 1: I met him, I was like, wait a second, is

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Speaker 1: your sister blank? And he was like yeah. I was like,

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Speaker 1: Coco coose you want with me? Yeah? If you ever

307
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Speaker 1: need to know anything about my tiny, tiny penis, you

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00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:36,560
Speaker 1: can ask your sister. Seeing two comes from listener John

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Speaker 1: Let's spell j O N. James if you're okay with that?

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Speaker 1: Who wrote Hey Kevin? My suggestion as someone who is

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Speaker 1: always trying to bring song lyrics and or movie quotes

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Speaker 1: into conversations appropriate or not looking forward to seeing what

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Speaker 1: all of you do with that, and just wanted to

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Speaker 1: add that rule is my favorite brownie? Okay, John from

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Speaker 1: near San Antonio, get you pass me the spaghetti I

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Speaker 1: just got. It's just not that often that we all

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Speaker 1: get to be here, you know, breaking bread, and I'm

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Speaker 1: just so happy we do it, even if it's just

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Speaker 1: great parmesan. If you got they only have whatever that

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Speaker 1: blog is, um, But that's it. I'm done talking. I'm

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Speaker 1: done duck, and i'd let's see, let's see. Hey, we're

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Speaker 1: all Look, we're all family, and we don't get to

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Speaker 1: see each other a lot. This is nice, This is

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Speaker 1: this is nice. I'll just say it, all right, I'm

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Speaker 1: digging in. I'm digging before we before ead ead. I

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00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:47,680
Speaker 1: know they're all hungry, but we're all family and we

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00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:49,520
Speaker 1: don't get to see each other a lot, and we're

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Speaker 1: here and we're seeing each other and it's so amazing.

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Speaker 1: And I just want to say your support throughout this

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Speaker 1: past year has really meant a lot to me with

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Speaker 1: the divorce and everything. I just I felt like you

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Speaker 1: guys would be out at me, and you weren't. I

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Speaker 1: just felt like that meant a lot to me because

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Speaker 1: I always felt like maybe a little bit of black

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Speaker 1: sheep of the family. Oh no, not past the spaghetti

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Speaker 1: to me. I'm sorry for interrupting. Could you pass that spaghetti? Wait? What? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Go ahead and go ahead and go ahead. Sorry, thank you, Danny?

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Speaker 1: What then? What I was just looking at? I just

339
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Speaker 1: I'm hungry. I don't want to interrupt the speeches. Sorry,

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00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:32,080
Speaker 1: thank you for the spaghetti. Listen, it wasn't your fault

341
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:36,320
Speaker 1: and that was the whole thing, and that was beautiful.

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Speaker 1: All right. While you were talking, I was thinking, I'll

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Speaker 1: have what cheese having? But let's see what's up. Let's

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00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,360
Speaker 1: let's see all right. I think we should thank you Lord,

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Speaker 1: Thank you Lord, thank you Lord, blessings, thank you Lord,

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Speaker 1: thank you are thinking? Well, that's also hold on, I

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Speaker 1: mean someone's might not be Christian here. Let's I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: I didn't mean you. I didn't Earth Earth Earth Mother,

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Speaker 1: thank you. Okay, all right, Okay, oh my god, this

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00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:14,520
Speaker 1: is a sauce. This is a sauce. Nice sauce. M

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Speaker 1: I was thinking maybe tomorrow we can go for a

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Speaker 1: walk in the park. I don't know. We have this weekend.

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Speaker 1: That might be nice, just to kind of let's park.

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Speaker 1: There's a couple of different parks. Did I'm sorry? Can

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Speaker 1: we just all just be quiet and eat? No? Oh,

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Speaker 1: can we just be quiet and eat for a little bit.

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Speaker 1: So it's been in Watson' we've all been here to

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Speaker 1: eat together. Okay, like old times, we didn't talk. Let's

359
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:43,679
Speaker 1: just not talk. An insane and we were afraid to

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Speaker 1: talk because he might lose his ship on one of us. Okay,

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Speaker 1: he's dead, he's dead now, Yeah, he's gone, so we

362
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Speaker 1: don't have to eat in silence. But sure, let's do

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Speaker 1: that because you're the oldest. That's good. I'm sorry. I'm

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Speaker 1: so so sorry, Leo. Can you chew less loud? It's

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Speaker 1: hard for me to enjoy my meal when I'm listening

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Speaker 1: to you? Well, I didn't. Is anybody else feel the

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Speaker 1: same way? I mean, first of all, I want to comment,

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Speaker 1: what do you mean? What do you mean? I didn't?

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Speaker 1: You didn't what you didn't? Close your fucking mouth? Okay,

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Speaker 1: all right, all right, hey, hey, get off, listen. All right,

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00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:38,960
Speaker 1: we're gonna have here go and you know what else?

372
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Speaker 1: Is it dead? Talking right now when we're eating? By it? Okay? Normal?

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Speaker 1: For so can we please act like all the other families? Well,

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Speaker 1: I got the side room, so I think they're gonna

375
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:57,160
Speaker 1: give us a little space. How's everyone doing? Okay, had time?

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00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:01,719
Speaker 1: Having a great time? Thank you? I'm telling you. More

377
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:05,960
Speaker 1: bread here, more bread, more bread? Yeah? Bread? Everybody want bread?

378
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:07,840
Speaker 1: And let's get it some more. Can we get some

379
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:11,720
Speaker 1: more of that octopus? Yeah? Yeah? Well keep him coming.

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Speaker 1: It's uh, it's a never ending octopus? Is the ape?

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Speaker 1: In that case, Antonio wouldn't be octopi. No, octopuses is

382
00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:25,919
Speaker 1: actually the correct plural. Okay, thanks for that. Where is

383
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Speaker 1: the older man that usually uh sits here? He's he's gone.

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00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 1: Well I put them a foot in it then, and

385
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Speaker 1: uh no, no, it's fine. He's burning in hell. He's

386
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,280
Speaker 1: burning in hell. He's burning in hell. I mean we

387
00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:45,160
Speaker 1: assume that because you believe in God. Oh yes, very much,

388
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:46,920
Speaker 1: very much. So you probably believe in heaven in hell.

389
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,120
Speaker 1: I do believe in heaven and hell. So our father

390
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:51,440
Speaker 1: is definitely in hell. Okay, some of us don't believe

391
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:53,840
Speaker 1: in that. Well that's Christian or not. He's in hell,

392
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:57,399
Speaker 1: so okay, so we keep that octopus coming and release

393
00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:00,440
Speaker 1: the cracking. Please keep it coming. I don't know what

394
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:02,320
Speaker 1: you want me to do this. How much octopus can

395
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:05,200
Speaker 1: these fucking people eat? All right? I can't cook ordered

396
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:09,280
Speaker 1: the never ending octopus for two d dollars? Okays, not

397
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:11,720
Speaker 1: gonna cover the gun damn cautious octopus? But what the fuck?

398
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,680
Speaker 1: Is it possible they're sharing it at the like? Does

399
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:16,760
Speaker 1: do they all get as much as they can eat?

400
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:19,560
Speaker 1: Is it possible that maybe they're cheating it? Have you

401
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,679
Speaker 1: watched them? It's a lot of octopus look, it is

402
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:27,240
Speaker 1: bottomless octopus. Okay, is what they ordered. I go back

403
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:30,040
Speaker 1: to the table. There's no octopus on the table anymore, Chef.

404
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:32,879
Speaker 1: I know it's not my place to speak, chef, but

405
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:36,840
Speaker 1: I heard a segment on This American Life, that that

406
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:40,640
Speaker 1: news program on NPR where they said it's hard people

407
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:44,040
Speaker 1: can't tell the difference between and this is true pigginess

408
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:49,840
Speaker 1: an octopus. Oh really, Oh thank go holy ship, Let's

409
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:52,160
Speaker 1: just use all that fucking piggies. I got me back.

410
00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:58,080
Speaker 1: I've been saying, what are you doing? What am I

411
00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:02,040
Speaker 1: gonna get pigae? Should I thought out? The pig ainies

412
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:05,120
Speaker 1: is thought out? Yeah, you know, if we got some

413
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:10,719
Speaker 1: thought out that episode about it. I forget what the

414
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:12,560
Speaker 1: theme was, but they were. But they even did a

415
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:16,199
Speaker 1: test at the end, like Calamari, and they did actual

416
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 1: Calamari and then actual pig ainis cal is an octopus?

417
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:24,760
Speaker 1: I know, I know calamar is an octopus is squid. Okay,

418
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:28,800
Speaker 1: but the listeners won't know that, all right, the listeners

419
00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:31,280
Speaker 1: are going to think that. It just feels like you're

420
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:33,920
Speaker 1: going off the rails right now. Yeah, a little bit, okay,

421
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:36,960
Speaker 1: because I'm I'm I'm almost a war correspondent, and now

422
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:42,000
Speaker 1: I'm doing got them. You know you were a war

423
00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:44,880
Speaker 1: corse part I talked to people who were at war. Yes,

424
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:48,080
Speaker 1: that doesn't correspond with war. Okay, yeah, like this is

425
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:52,919
Speaker 1: PRX okay, Public Radio International, Yeah, Portland, I know, listen,

426
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:57,280
Speaker 1: if we can get them to have some pig ainy

427
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:02,240
Speaker 1: and maybe they think it's sucked the pus or whatever. Wait, wait,

428
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:07,640
Speaker 1: don't tell me. Okay, we clicking clack over here anyway,

429
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:17,280
Speaker 1: all right, I am fool Yeah, maybe a little little turmistus.

430
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:21,280
Speaker 1: There's still some MSU, there's there's still some food, and

431
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:24,320
Speaker 1: everyone's played, So why don't just get that? That's that's

432
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:26,679
Speaker 1: what you do. You push away and you don't be

433
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:28,639
Speaker 1: a piggy. Well, then don't put that much food in

434
00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:30,199
Speaker 1: your play if you're not gonna eat it. Did you

435
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:33,200
Speaker 1: want to take all this home? Okay? Alright, alright, what's happened?

436
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,000
Speaker 1: I don't want to? Oh because I don't have a home.

437
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:38,840
Speaker 1: Right now? Will they let us take home to push?

438
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:44,240
Speaker 1: If you have a home, they'll let you take something. Yeah? Wow, wow, wow, wow,

439
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:47,879
Speaker 1: it's cool. It's cool. I thought there was oil underneath

440
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:51,399
Speaker 1: my house. Okay, so I raised my house and I

441
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:55,719
Speaker 1: dug deep and oh there wasn't any oil. Okay, well,

442
00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:59,359
Speaker 1: fucking honest mistake, Cindy. Do you still talk to Josh

443
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:01,320
Speaker 1: at all? Or is he out of the picture completely?

444
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 1: What's going on? Yeah, guys were divorced, I know, But

445
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:08,120
Speaker 1: do you have a conversation the time. No, we don't

446
00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:10,639
Speaker 1: have six kids. We never want to see him again,

447
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:12,640
Speaker 1: and I never want my kids to see him either.

448
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:16,320
Speaker 1: But he won half custody. What am I going to do?

449
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:21,680
Speaker 1: How's everyone doing here? You know anything? Oh? You got

450
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:26,880
Speaker 1: to containers. We're going to finish off the plates. We'll

451
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:29,639
Speaker 1: finish off the plates and then whatever else is still

452
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:33,239
Speaker 1: in the don't do this. Last time you did this,

453
00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:36,480
Speaker 1: we all threw up. And let let me give you

454
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 1: my condolences one time for your father, who I know

455
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:41,760
Speaker 1: is a roasting in hell. A right, But let me

456
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:44,000
Speaker 1: tell you, whenever he was here, when he was hearing you,

457
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:47,160
Speaker 1: guys would have this private room, the references, the song

458
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:51,560
Speaker 1: lyrics and the movie quotes would be just firing like crazy.

459
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 1: And I would say, now that he's gone, like I heard,

460
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:57,560
Speaker 1: like I haven't been listening to your whole covers. I've

461
00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:01,320
Speaker 1: heard like three three references like by three different people,

462
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:06,280
Speaker 1: like one Lord of the Rings, one kind of half

463
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:10,800
Speaker 1: past referenced with Harry mat Sally, and then one person

464
00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:17,680
Speaker 1: did stand I think. So you know it's it's okay

465
00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:21,040
Speaker 1: as far as the reference is. Your father wasn't here.

466
00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:25,680
Speaker 1: It was like a rapid fire missed to release the

467
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:28,960
Speaker 1: cracking one though. We miss him, Antonio, You're right. He

468
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:32,120
Speaker 1: was the best. He was the best at the references,

469
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:36,840
Speaker 1: and we just fall short every fucking meal. I'm just

470
00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:39,760
Speaker 1: glad you said. I'm glad somebody said it. It's embarrassed

471
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 1: miss him. I missed him the box stop okay. And

472
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:46,400
Speaker 1: then and you'll take it on me to say what's

473
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:53,959
Speaker 1: in the box. You should know what's in the boxes? Say,

474
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:56,880
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say it to I'm a quick question. Were

475
00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 1: you just in the back saying who are these guys?

476
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:07,600
Speaker 1: See now? And now he's going right, Yeah, it's just

477
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:10,600
Speaker 1: a little bit. Yes, you just had to be reminded

478
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:13,280
Speaker 1: with you know, I think Josh is a pretty good guy.

479
00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:16,640
Speaker 1: Think Josh's a pretty good guy. Goddamn it, come on,

480
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,400
Speaker 1: do you think he's a pretty good guy? What? What?

481
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 1: What about him? And what he did to me? Nobody

482
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:27,840
Speaker 1: could do Vegas, Vegas one time a year. You get

483
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 1: to go to Vegas every weekend of my life. He

484
00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:36,520
Speaker 1: was like a magnet. He told me horrible things about myself.

485
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:40,800
Speaker 1: He said, you're too short. You're he said, you're too short,

486
00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:43,520
Speaker 1: get in this box. And then he made me prove

487
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:46,880
Speaker 1: howid by going into a box because you thought you

488
00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:53,720
Speaker 1: were too big for the box. Can't take and then

489
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:56,840
Speaker 1: he a little You can't stick the bread home, eat

490
00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:59,280
Speaker 1: the red here, or or come back some other time.

491
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:01,440
Speaker 1: But we paid for the bread. Take me out of

492
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:05,080
Speaker 1: you paid for an entree. What comes my shirt from?

493
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:10,560
Speaker 1: You can't take the bread home. I can't give away

494
00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 1: the bread, you get it away. You can take as

495
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:20,920
Speaker 1: much octopus. Hands off the bread. Oh my god, I

496
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:23,200
Speaker 1: was right. Those guys are trying to take this stuff.

497
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:28,240
Speaker 1: There's sucking cheating us. That's that's that's that's legal. Should

498
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:31,800
Speaker 1: call cheating up. You're a fucking line cook, chef. It

499
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:35,560
Speaker 1: wasn't it wasn't. I think it was a radio lab.

500
00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:40,520
Speaker 1: It was a radio it's a radio lab. Oh my god, isaake,

501
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:46,240
Speaker 1: you know I stopped thought out those pig assholes already.

502
00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:49,160
Speaker 1: Oh is that so? I guess we gotta use them

503
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:53,040
Speaker 1: coming up to me and tell me that chef. I'm sorry, chef,

504
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, chef, I'm sorry. Look, we got all these

505
00:31:56,680 --> 00:31:59,840
Speaker 1: tickets and how much bread a guy the table one

506
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:03,120
Speaker 1: that is this they get home to? Look at them?

507
00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:05,640
Speaker 1: Look up through that little window there. Look at them.

508
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:08,760
Speaker 1: That guy's got bread out of the way. The windows, tiny, mover,

509
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:11,320
Speaker 1: I can't see. Look, I can't look. If you're in

510
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:15,040
Speaker 1: the move, I can't see here. Here here, come to

511
00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 1: my window. You could probably see from here. It's fine.

512
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,000
Speaker 1: Every window and this thing is so tiny. I can't ship.

513
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:25,480
Speaker 1: Come to my window. I'm going to your window. I kid,

514
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:27,000
Speaker 1: I don't know where to look. I mean, it's like

515
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:31,360
Speaker 1: that window bigger. I could make it the window bigger. Yeah,

516
00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 1: could you make the window bigger. The only person's working

517
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:42,160
Speaker 1: around here, Zeke and me cut I love everybody. Somebody

518
00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 1: just ship okay away. We gotta throw everything out of here.

519
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:55,560
Speaker 1: We gotta gotta you gotta cancel everything, cancel the ticket.

520
00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:58,360
Speaker 1: Tell everyone they gotta go home, Tell everyone they gotta

521
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:01,040
Speaker 1: go home. Well, I don't know. I don't talk to

522
00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:03,800
Speaker 1: every when I get home. It would be my pleasure.

523
00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:05,400
Speaker 1: Let me go out there, and tell him they gotta

524
00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:12,520
Speaker 1: go all right, all right, you guys, you gotta get

525
00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:23,360
Speaker 1: out of here. You closing, closing. You don't have to

526
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:28,120
Speaker 1: go home, but you can't stay here. Yeah yeah, my father.

527
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:31,640
Speaker 1: Let me tell some right now. My father was captain

528
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:35,480
Speaker 1: of a starship for thirteen seconds. He saved seventy thou

529
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:39,920
Speaker 1: lives and he's burning, and he's burning in hell. They

530
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:45,920
Speaker 1: were bad the star Trek reboot. That is yeah, I thought,

531
00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:50,320
Speaker 1: so that's that's obscure. I don't care what you guys saying.

532
00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:51,760
Speaker 1: I need you to get up and get out of

533
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:54,440
Speaker 1: here because there's some there's a there's an issue in

534
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:57,440
Speaker 1: the kitchen, and it's an emergency. I need to cook, right,

535
00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:01,560
Speaker 1: you're a cook, yeah, little line cook. Do you know

536
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:06,240
Speaker 1: what they call a quarter pounder in France? Uh? I

537
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:09,880
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know. It looks like somebody just

538
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:20,840
Speaker 1: stop up a fix kind So, Josh, I think you

539
00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:22,759
Speaker 1: should slow down. Man, You gotta you gotta pick your

540
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:31,080
Speaker 1: kids up in a little bit, all right. Ship her

541
00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:39,720
Speaker 1: glass short? My wife is too short, x wife, xife.

542
00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:42,320
Speaker 1: She used to fix in a fit fit in a box,

543
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:44,360
Speaker 1: you know what? I could fit her in a box dude,

544
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:46,279
Speaker 1: I mean, anyone can fit in a box. A box.

545
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:50,200
Speaker 1: Where are you going? Where are you going? I'm gonna

546
00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:53,920
Speaker 1: get out of here, man, early. Yeah. Man, we've been

547
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:57,880
Speaker 1: up for like twenty hours. Dude, like I got sex kids,

548
00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:00,160
Speaker 1: I know. Man. Man, look dude, I'm just gonna leave

549
00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:10,600
Speaker 1: this pizza here and I'm alright. Man, Hey, have you

550
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:13,920
Speaker 1: talked to her? It won't talk to me? Well, how

551
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:16,080
Speaker 1: have you tried to talk to her? When I pick

552
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:19,840
Speaker 1: up the kids? I mean beyond that, like the text

553
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:24,280
Speaker 1: or call her writer? Start thinking about doing that? Man,

554
00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:28,719
Speaker 1: what you like her? You like her? Or something like

555
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:31,879
Speaker 1: what's going on here? You like her? She? Come on, man,

556
00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:35,799
Speaker 1: come on, man, just relax. Man, I did I have

557
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:38,399
Speaker 1: been Man, I've been doing it the whole time. Man,

558
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:42,040
Speaker 1: I gotta go. I was full of glass. I know

559
00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:44,120
Speaker 1: that was a ship in the glass, you snorted. Man,

560
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:46,839
Speaker 1: I don't know how you did that? All right, man,

561
00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:52,880
Speaker 1: I see all right, we're my keys. Man. Oh but

562
00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:56,000
Speaker 1: I don't know. Come on, man, did you put him

563
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:58,319
Speaker 1: in a little a little like a stuff? The animal?

564
00:35:58,360 --> 00:35:59,879
Speaker 1: You showed him up? And I gotta look for through

565
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:07,279
Speaker 1: the stuff. They don't damn it, dude, shit grow huge man,

566
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:11,520
Speaker 1: stuff row biggest ship. I don't know what, use the force,

567
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:16,280
Speaker 1: you know what what? I gotta go, man, I gotta

568
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:20,040
Speaker 1: go to work. Your dad will be here any minute

569
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:22,000
Speaker 1: to pick you kids up, So please just have all

570
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:28,320
Speaker 1: your backpacks ready. One. Okay, where's your mom? Your dad's

571
00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:30,320
Speaker 1: picking up today? Look at the it's two. Say so,

572
00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:35,799
Speaker 1: how come our mom doesn't drople song? Listen? I don't.

573
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:40,080
Speaker 1: I'm just a teacher. I don't take your family sketchles.

574
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:45,680
Speaker 1: You're just get picked up from school. Okay, get your

575
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:54,440
Speaker 1: backpacks ready to let us get back on the reils.

576
00:36:54,840 --> 00:37:00,480
Speaker 1: O my, oh fuck. I did not like it in

577
00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:05,160
Speaker 1: that scene with Joey. I felt very triggered in that scene.

578
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:12,960
Speaker 1: Record sorry not, it's not the octopus, it's square. Just

579
00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:20,520
Speaker 1: fucking put me over. The Scene three comes from Patron

580
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:24,480
Speaker 1: v I P and Dimond, who wrote scenes. Suggestion. A

581
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 1: brand new barbecue restaurant opens up next to a failing zoo.

582
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:36,120
Speaker 1: Take care and thanks. Uh so, next up, we got

583
00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:40,960
Speaker 1: the gorillas, the primates. You see him in different sizes

584
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:47,319
Speaker 1: and shapes, but do not do not feed the well.

585
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:54,600
Speaker 1: He's probably sleeping and or napping. There's flies all over him. Yeah.

586
00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:58,040
Speaker 1: The other animals are poking them a moving I'm not

587
00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:00,360
Speaker 1: gonna allow to you. A lot of these animals smell

588
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:04,640
Speaker 1: like a feces. So the flies that come around, and

589
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:09,600
Speaker 1: you know it's a problem, but listen, we it's a zoo,

590
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:15,440
Speaker 1: so flies are welcome. But next you see, we're going

591
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:18,320
Speaker 1: to see the panda bear. We have one. Why do

592
00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:20,359
Speaker 1: we pay for this? Guys? Why couldn't we just walk around?

593
00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:30,200
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's important tell you what's going on. Expert I am.

594
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:33,040
Speaker 1: But in welding. He lives in a cave in the

595
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:36,279
Speaker 1: back and no one has actually seen dependent. But he's

596
00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:38,960
Speaker 1: in there. We feed him and maybe he'll be the

597
00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 1: lucky ones come out and say hello, Yeah, all right.

598
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:47,760
Speaker 1: What part of a panda do we cut up and cook?

599
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:51,160
Speaker 1: I don't know. I guess maybe the leg is it

600
00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:53,560
Speaker 1: like a trump, Well, muscle, wherever there's muscle. I I'm

601
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 1: just not seeing a lot of muscle on this panda. No,

602
00:38:55,880 --> 00:39:03,560
Speaker 1: it's I'm saying it's at you think it's skinny. I

603
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:07,960
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't see anything edible up. Well, it

604
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:11,000
Speaker 1: certainly is a mustle. There is no mussy. We can

605
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:14,440
Speaker 1: agree on that, right. How big is your prototypical panda.

606
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:17,960
Speaker 1: If you think this is a skinny panda, well I

607
00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:23,640
Speaker 1: usually think pandas. All right, babe, I promise you this

608
00:39:23,719 --> 00:39:28,839
Speaker 1: is the best barbecue you've ever had. Better be all right.

609
00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:31,880
Speaker 1: We have our typical barbecue menu, and if you guys

610
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:34,399
Speaker 1: are looking for a special occasion, we have some off

611
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:36,640
Speaker 1: the new specials today. Can we get a booth where

612
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:38,640
Speaker 1: all three of us can sit on the same side,

613
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:44,040
Speaker 1: on the same sure, Hey, don't judge us. You know

614
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:47,400
Speaker 1: I wasn't judging. I also really appreciate it if like

615
00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:49,840
Speaker 1: you can just kinda give us something a little more discreet.

616
00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:54,440
Speaker 1: I'm Nikki Shits, so uh you know, wow, wow, Nikki

617
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 1: ships in our barbecue joint. How are you? How are you?

618
00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:58,879
Speaker 1: I'm not doing the voice and all that, but yeah,

619
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:01,600
Speaker 1: I if you go out sign whatever, just you know,

620
00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:05,560
Speaker 1: a little discreet privacy, especially you put out during COVID

621
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:07,879
Speaker 1: was really meant a lot to me. It was very

622
00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:10,440
Speaker 1: thank you, very meaningful, and I touched on a lot

623
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:12,239
Speaker 1: of this stuff that I think a lot of us

624
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:14,200
Speaker 1: have been going through. I don't know, I kind of

625
00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:18,560
Speaker 1: preferred bows special. But anyway, um speaking, we will take

626
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:21,719
Speaker 1: Why would you say three? Why would you do that,

627
00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:24,399
Speaker 1: b babe? What do you want to because I'll say, babe,

628
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:26,919
Speaker 1: after that, what why would you say that I'm talking

629
00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:28,759
Speaker 1: to her? Maybe I'm not calling you, babe. Maybe this

630
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:33,960
Speaker 1: new situation has got me calling. We're looking at at him. Okay,

631
00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:36,920
Speaker 1: that's not your business. You know what, you know, maybe

632
00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:39,320
Speaker 1: I should get my own table. I'm gonna go. He

633
00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:42,880
Speaker 1: has cash, whatever you want. You're here for him, all right, No,

634
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:45,880
Speaker 1: she's here for you, are for him. She's gonna fix us.

635
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:50,480
Speaker 1: Who do you think I'm really here for? Don't makey

636
00:40:50,800 --> 00:41:00,399
Speaker 1: ship or this guy? I was making a point. Mm hmm.

637
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:04,760
Speaker 1: Well do you want to say with me? Yeah? Okay,

638
00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:07,120
Speaker 1: Well the table for two and then one for him? Okay,

639
00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:09,960
Speaker 1: because bo had a specially that really was funny and

640
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:14,719
Speaker 1: critic you're talking about. You wouldn't. You wouldn't because you're

641
00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:21,600
Speaker 1: very small. Okay, So I'm gonna put a sorry buddy,

642
00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:24,200
Speaker 1: you're gonna be at this little uh this table here.

643
00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:27,080
Speaker 1: You guys have the same booth. Well, you're one person,

644
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:31,400
Speaker 1: but it seems like a miniature table. It is a

645
00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:38,879
Speaker 1: minature table. You're a table of one. Alright, alright, you guys,

646
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:43,920
Speaker 1: this is the same booth high a health inspector. I've

647
00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:47,040
Speaker 1: been setting you different emails and all that for a

648
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:51,800
Speaker 1: while to email. We don't do email. Um, well I

649
00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:56,640
Speaker 1: did expect the premises. Okay, do you need X or

650
00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:01,120
Speaker 1: I've find a little stuffed up that's just the zoo

651
00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:03,200
Speaker 1: gets me all stuff you have alluded to. Everything look

652
00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:09,239
Speaker 1: kind of adible. Oh yeah, yeah, Georgie, down here, down here,

653
00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:13,040
Speaker 1: you got my little table, my regular table. Oh I'm sorry,

654
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:16,400
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Jack. We got somebody at your table today.

655
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:22,439
Speaker 1: But I mean in my table. Dad, I think that's

656
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:24,759
Speaker 1: a person in an Ostrich outfit. I don't think that's

657
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:27,480
Speaker 1: a real Ostrich. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. I

658
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:30,960
Speaker 1: mean that's kind of what a zoo is, right, Wow,

659
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:37,479
Speaker 1: help me? Wow Dad? Can I feed it? Yeah? Of course,

660
00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:40,000
Speaker 1: I got those little pellets. Look at this. They got

661
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:45,359
Speaker 1: a pellet gun. You can shoot it at it? Cool? Yeah?

662
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:52,359
Speaker 1: Come on, get me out of here, you know, dad,

663
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:56,120
Speaker 1: to stay at the zoo. I haven't even been thinking

664
00:42:56,160 --> 00:43:01,399
Speaker 1: about mom is playing crash, not even once. M Oh

665
00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:07,399
Speaker 1: my gosh, she did die. You know, I'm actually having

666
00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:10,840
Speaker 1: a lot of trouble. I thought, like I think that

667
00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:16,120
Speaker 1: my boyfriends wanted just like a one time threesome, and

668
00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:19,840
Speaker 1: that I have then like kind of put myself in

669
00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:24,319
Speaker 1: the mix. I'm I'm asserting myself into the relationship as

670
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:27,000
Speaker 1: if it's more than it is. Can you give me

671
00:43:27,160 --> 00:43:29,880
Speaker 1: just like a warning as to when you're going to

672
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:33,080
Speaker 1: rip the wax off? Sorry it's a Polish wax. We don't,

673
00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:36,240
Speaker 1: we don't, we don't warn Oh okay, just my normal

674
00:43:36,320 --> 00:43:38,719
Speaker 1: lady gives me a bit of a warning. Well, you know,

675
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:40,239
Speaker 1: if you want it the way that it's done in

676
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:46,960
Speaker 1: crack Ow, this is how this is. Anyways, what's you're

677
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:49,560
Speaker 1: you're in a you're in a throuble right now? What's

678
00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:51,520
Speaker 1: what's going on? That's what I you know, that's what

679
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:54,560
Speaker 1: I thought, Like, that's what I thought. And then the

680
00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:58,080
Speaker 1: vibe is coming off as as that that we're not

681
00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:04,359
Speaker 1: a throuble and that I'm kind of and that's most

682
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:07,880
Speaker 1: of it right there, that's most of it. Well, it's incredible.

683
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:11,240
Speaker 1: I thought that was going to rip off some hard hardware.

684
00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:17,319
Speaker 1: Some heard some personal hardware. Hi, Nikki, I'm just here

685
00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:21,440
Speaker 1: to get my stuff. And also, congratulations, I heard about lenaries.

686
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:26,960
Speaker 1: You two will be very happy. I'll describe these bags. Yeah,

687
00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:30,719
Speaker 1: you can come in. Are you gonna like say hello

688
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:32,600
Speaker 1: to me? Are you gonna talking me to the fucking intercom?

689
00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:40,040
Speaker 1: Is she here? Is the nearest the narrow here? Great,

690
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:43,800
Speaker 1: she's here. Hi, Lannaries, it's Larry. You probably heard of

691
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:46,680
Speaker 1: me or maybe not? Maybe not? Describe my stuff. I'll

692
00:44:46,719 --> 00:44:49,040
Speaker 1: be out in one sec. You know we used to

693
00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:52,080
Speaker 1: be in love Nikky and I. Yeah, good luck with that.

694
00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:55,800
Speaker 1: He's the number one star, Larry. Hey, you're here to

695
00:44:55,880 --> 00:45:00,359
Speaker 1: eat your stuff. I want to take the cup and leave.

696
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:03,960
Speaker 1: I want the cup in the bag. I want to

697
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:11,480
Speaker 1: bag the bag is mine? No, take the cup and leave? Okay,

698
00:45:11,640 --> 00:45:20,160
Speaker 1: I will by the narrow by Nikki by. Let me

699
00:45:20,239 --> 00:45:25,239
Speaker 1: just say, Richard, there's a there's a health inspector here.

700
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:30,640
Speaker 1: We gotta get We are so fucked, we are so fun.

701
00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:32,839
Speaker 1: We just got this ostrich too that we were gonna

702
00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:36,160
Speaker 1: cut up. Oh my god, we're gonna give shut down.

703
00:45:37,719 --> 00:45:39,800
Speaker 1: I was just scraping some of the felt off of

704
00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:44,000
Speaker 1: the outside of the Ostrich, which is felt. I don't

705
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:47,160
Speaker 1: I don't know whatever it is. It feels like it

706
00:45:47,239 --> 00:45:50,120
Speaker 1: feels like felt. Are you sure it's not just for?

707
00:45:51,320 --> 00:45:53,239
Speaker 1: It could be I must be ostrich for but it

708
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:58,440
Speaker 1: feels like feels like felt alight put like put like

709
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:10,040
Speaker 1: so far, I'm just looking for the bathroom. What's go on? Nothing? Nothing? Oh?

710
00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:12,240
Speaker 1: Is that? What? Why are there no feathers on the Ostrich?

711
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:15,840
Speaker 1: It's not an Ostrich, it's not an Austro. It's just

712
00:46:16,239 --> 00:46:20,080
Speaker 1: it's a big big turkey becauys what barbecue joint with?

713
00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:24,040
Speaker 1: What cut up ostrich? As Ostrich is not like an

714
00:46:24,040 --> 00:46:27,600
Speaker 1: illegal animal? But why I just no feathers? It's so strange? Uh?

715
00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:30,360
Speaker 1: I just did to uh go into the restroom. Do

716
00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:33,400
Speaker 1: you know where that is? Do we know where the

717
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:43,760
Speaker 1: restroom is? It's only for it's only for customers, for customers. Yeah, sorry, sorry,

718
00:46:44,239 --> 00:46:46,719
Speaker 1: I have a health and spetro. I have to see it, right.

719
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:48,920
Speaker 1: I could just I could start in this room if

720
00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:51,560
Speaker 1: you want. Oh, this is not probably the best room

721
00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:56,600
Speaker 1: to start. Maybe outside, like the perimeter already already did

722
00:46:56,680 --> 00:47:00,560
Speaker 1: I flagged some stuff? Oh? Really, what's your flag? You

723
00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:03,480
Speaker 1: have some oil leak? It's just like there's some pipe

724
00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:10,759
Speaker 1: that's just well, that's that's that's actually we wanted that.

725
00:47:10,920 --> 00:47:13,520
Speaker 1: It's we've got oil into this building and we strugg

726
00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:20,360
Speaker 1: It's kind of a perkose of the I don't know

727
00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:22,680
Speaker 1: gonna be able to Actually, how's the restaurant if you're gonna,

728
00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:27,200
Speaker 1: you know, be options right now, because you know, we've

729
00:47:27,200 --> 00:47:30,640
Speaker 1: got a moderately successful barbecue place. Plus we've got we've

730
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:33,960
Speaker 1: got a live oil well directly below the building, so well,

731
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:36,240
Speaker 1: those tubes are gonna come inside and they're gonna poison

732
00:47:36,239 --> 00:47:39,239
Speaker 1: as people with they're eating. So we haven't been to

733
00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:42,680
Speaker 1: dinner all together in a really long time. So before

734
00:47:42,719 --> 00:47:44,799
Speaker 1: we eat, I just want to say thank you all

735
00:47:44,840 --> 00:47:49,960
Speaker 1: for being here again, and good God, Johnny, do not

736
00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:54,520
Speaker 1: ask us for money again. Do not ask us for

737
00:47:54,680 --> 00:47:58,920
Speaker 1: money again. We know that you lost your business, but

738
00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:03,240
Speaker 1: again you decided to drill for oil in the middle

739
00:48:03,560 --> 00:48:07,960
Speaker 1: of a property that you own, and that's not on us,

740
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:10,040
Speaker 1: and I just wanted to clear that up before we eat.

741
00:48:11,160 --> 00:48:17,839
Speaker 1: Maybe I should cancel my order? What'd your order? Well,

742
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:22,040
Speaker 1: I gotta drink. Why are you canceling your order because

743
00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:24,080
Speaker 1: I can't ask for money? And that that kind of

744
00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:27,840
Speaker 1: blew the we were talking. Okay, I gotta cookies and

745
00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:34,719
Speaker 1: gream milk shape coming in you. Well see, I thought

746
00:48:34,800 --> 00:48:36,680
Speaker 1: when when you told your story it sounded like it

747
00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:39,480
Speaker 1: was working out really good lifting things up? Did you

748
00:48:39,520 --> 00:48:44,239
Speaker 1: start a business so everyone gave him money? Well, he

749
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:48,960
Speaker 1: he had a good idea and he never asked for

750
00:48:49,040 --> 00:48:51,880
Speaker 1: that was what what was your idea? Was that a

751
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:55,960
Speaker 1: barbecue place? Yeah, so you're just dealing my idea. But

752
00:48:56,120 --> 00:48:58,080
Speaker 1: but listen to but listen to how he refills the meat.

753
00:48:58,120 --> 00:49:02,600
Speaker 1: Tell him WHOA? I don't know if I like, we

754
00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:08,640
Speaker 1: we fulfill. We've got a relationship with no one ordered

755
00:49:08,640 --> 00:49:11,239
Speaker 1: the jake. I don't know who don't? Okay, fine, I

756
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:24,080
Speaker 1: drink your milkshake, saying three show who uh bastard in

757
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:27,640
Speaker 1: the basket? Uh? Nicely done, everyone, and thank you so

758
00:49:27,760 --> 00:49:29,880
Speaker 1: damn much for being here. Let's start our thank you

759
00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:35,640
Speaker 1: and goodbyes with miss Jackie. Thank you. Yes, and folks

760
00:49:35,719 --> 00:49:38,880
Speaker 1: wanted to find your wares that should go to Instagram

761
00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:42,160
Speaker 1: and look for you exactly. I'm at Jackie d ruthy

762
00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:46,960
Speaker 1: and comedy spelled like it sounds to be honest. I

763
00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:50,520
Speaker 1: think it's okay to be honest. Thank you. Yeah, in

764
00:49:50,640 --> 00:49:55,120
Speaker 1: this environment, in these times, if I can't be honest,

765
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:57,920
Speaker 1: what do we have? That's right? Thank you for having me.

766
00:49:58,239 --> 00:50:02,560
Speaker 1: It's always so fun. Uh, please come back immediately. James Ceney,

767
00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:07,919
Speaker 1: would you also like to say something honest and truthful? Well, yes,

768
00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:11,680
Speaker 1: honest and truthful. Um, thanks for having me. Here's an honest,

769
00:50:11,680 --> 00:50:15,719
Speaker 1: truthful thing unrelated. Uh, I read the first half of

770
00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:19,960
Speaker 1: Forrest Gump. God, it's really good. Thank you guys for

771
00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:22,799
Speaker 1: suggesting it last week. I'm gonna finish it and give

772
00:50:22,880 --> 00:50:27,600
Speaker 1: my full review next week. Finde me here. That's uh,

773
00:50:28,080 --> 00:50:30,040
Speaker 1: that's a great share. We we thank you for that.

774
00:50:30,200 --> 00:50:35,000
Speaker 1: Chris Alvarado, honest and truthful. I'm trying to build my chest,

775
00:50:39,440 --> 00:50:44,600
Speaker 1: um fair, I'm trying to build my chest. I've always

776
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:46,879
Speaker 1: been somebody that dabbled in in you know, the gym,

777
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:48,680
Speaker 1: I trying to work out of the healthy eat right,

778
00:50:48,760 --> 00:50:50,839
Speaker 1: But I've never I've always had like a boy's body,

779
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:53,279
Speaker 1: and I want to have a chest. So I'm really

780
00:50:53,360 --> 00:50:57,680
Speaker 1: working on the chest for you. But it's honest and

781
00:50:57,719 --> 00:51:00,640
Speaker 1: it's truthful. I appreciate that very much. Happy to be here,

782
00:51:01,040 --> 00:51:04,320
Speaker 1: Craig Kowski, thank you so damn much. You're welcome. So

783
00:51:04,560 --> 00:51:07,160
Speaker 1: this this is what I got. I've got Ah, I've

784
00:51:07,200 --> 00:51:10,440
Speaker 1: got a regional commercial running right now for Spectrum, running

785
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:13,480
Speaker 1: on running running on cable cable commercials. No biggie, it's

786
00:51:13,640 --> 00:51:17,800
Speaker 1: you know, but it must have just expanded to new markets, because,

787
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:19,640
Speaker 1: like I've been getting a bunch of messages lately with

788
00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:22,000
Speaker 1: people that have seen it, and because I get Google

789
00:51:22,040 --> 00:51:24,319
Speaker 1: alerts on my name. I was taking to a little

790
00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:28,560
Speaker 1: website called the Alchemy of This Pod subreddit where somebody

791
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:31,040
Speaker 1: had written a post I think trying to congratulate me

792
00:51:31,160 --> 00:51:34,080
Speaker 1: on the Spectrum spot and it says way to go Craig,

793
00:51:34,640 --> 00:51:38,480
Speaker 1: but they spelled it s r R E c t

794
00:51:38,920 --> 00:51:48,439
Speaker 1: U M or sir rectum. And so rather than congratulate

795
00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:51,759
Speaker 1: me on the prevalence of my spectrum commercial, you've just

796
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:58,320
Speaker 1: called me sir w rectum, which if anyone deserves that nickname,

797
00:51:58,400 --> 00:52:04,160
Speaker 1: it's it's Kevin. I think that's fair. That's truly fair.

798
00:52:04,520 --> 00:52:10,520
Speaker 1: And keep those redded comments coming, is the takeaway? Yeah,

799
00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:13,640
Speaker 1: Joey great, Thank you so damn much as always for

800
00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:17,920
Speaker 1: being your terrifically weird self. Thank you for having me.

801
00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:20,120
Speaker 1: And Chris just want to say, if you want any

802
00:52:20,200 --> 00:52:28,080
Speaker 1: pointers on chess, I mean, just talk to me, man, Like, Okay,

803
00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:32,680
Speaker 1: our Patreon uh users right there, they'll see this video,

804
00:52:32,760 --> 00:52:35,759
Speaker 1: is that right? Yes? So so? But the rest of

805
00:52:35,880 --> 00:52:38,600
Speaker 1: us who are just listening. They don't they don't know

806
00:52:38,640 --> 00:52:41,719
Speaker 1: what's going on. Took his shirt off and he is flexing.

807
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:49,040
Speaker 1: He's ripped, ripped. It's unfair to the others who don't

808
00:52:49,160 --> 00:52:55,160
Speaker 1: have the ability to use graphics. Let's thank our producer

809
00:52:55,280 --> 00:52:58,640
Speaker 1: of the Stars, Mr Doug Baine. It's five folks that

810
00:52:58,680 --> 00:53:02,320
Speaker 1: I heart media. Bump bump up. I'm host Kevin Pollacker,

811
00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:04,240
Speaker 1: minding you please be kind to each other and until

812
00:53:04,360 --> 00:53:04,879
Speaker 1: next time,