1
00:00:01,840 --> 00:00:05,040
Speaker 1: Wind Down with Jane Kramer and Michael Coffin and I'm

2
00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:10,200
Speaker 1: her radio podcast. So there's a lot of rumors circling

3
00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:20,040
Speaker 1: the interweb, and I wanna just kind of, um, how

4
00:00:20,079 --> 00:00:24,400
Speaker 1: do I say, talk about one of the rumors right now?

5
00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:27,200
Speaker 1: And we actually have someone in the waiting room to

6
00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:32,479
Speaker 1: talk about one of those rumors. So let's there's two,

7
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:37,639
Speaker 1: so let's bring the one rumor in. Um, she's our

8
00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:44,040
Speaker 1: surprise guest coming on the show, and our surprise guest

9
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:55,280
Speaker 1: is drumroll please, m is this thing on? That's the

10
00:00:55,400 --> 00:01:07,320
Speaker 1: most perfect Sarah? I know? That was I said, and

11
00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:11,080
Speaker 1: our secret guest is and then we did a drum roll,

12
00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:15,319
Speaker 1: and then you go, is this thing on? No? I

13
00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:19,000
Speaker 1: genuinely like, oh, I didn't see myself. I didn't know

14
00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:24,000
Speaker 1: what was going on. Hi, Hi, honey. You guys know

15
00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:28,840
Speaker 1: that our one and only Sarah now Gretzky. Yep, our

16
00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:32,320
Speaker 1: one and only Sarah Gretzky. Um. So, girlfriend, there is

17
00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:39,200
Speaker 1: a rumor circulating the internet that you are pregnant, and

18
00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:42,760
Speaker 1: I just you know, we got to talk about it.

19
00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:46,479
Speaker 1: Is it true? You know? I'm just glad I could

20
00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:48,840
Speaker 1: come on and speak for myself. Yes, that is a

21
00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:53,400
Speaker 1: true That is a true rumor you've been hearing Sarah

22
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:58,520
Speaker 1: Gretzky is pregnant. Um, this is your rainbow baby, I know,

23
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:06,320
Speaker 1: and it's a it's a girl. Man, it's so weird,

24
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:10,160
Speaker 1: Like I feel so weird, even like I don't know

25
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:16,200
Speaker 1: how many weeks are you right now? So I am

26
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:19,240
Speaker 1: also like that's what I'm still getting used to, the

27
00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:22,320
Speaker 1: weak's thing. Like no one tells you how confusing that is.

28
00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:27,960
Speaker 1: I am almost I'm like sixteen and a half. Oh

29
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:31,480
Speaker 1: my gosh, okay, So I just I have I have

30
00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:35,760
Speaker 1: a few things. When so you found out first that

31
00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:40,320
Speaker 1: you well for so how do you find out you're pregnant? So,

32
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:46,440
Speaker 1: oh my god, what a journey. So I you know,

33
00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:50,400
Speaker 1: I did clone in in December and that did not work.

34
00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:52,240
Speaker 1: I mean it did what it was supposed to do

35
00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:55,280
Speaker 1: for my body, but it didn't. We did not conceive.

36
00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:57,079
Speaker 1: If you don't know what that is, just it's a

37
00:02:57,120 --> 00:03:00,200
Speaker 1: quick google. I don't. I can't get into this thing,

38
00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:09,079
Speaker 1: both honestly, honestly both. So um, you know, I mean,

39
00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:12,360
Speaker 1: you know, when you're trying quote unquote whatever trying is,

40
00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:16,880
Speaker 1: you've got tests laying around all all times of every day,

41
00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:21,640
Speaker 1: every hour, and I genuinely I did not think I

42
00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:26,720
Speaker 1: ovulated that month, And so I was we were in Colorado,

43
00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:28,920
Speaker 1: and I was just feeling off, which is like normal

44
00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:32,400
Speaker 1: between COVID and the altitude. I was just feeling weird,

45
00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:38,080
Speaker 1: and I was like, cents certain it was like altitude sickness.

46
00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:41,080
Speaker 1: And I called my sister because I was like, like

47
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:42,760
Speaker 1: I was. I was already crying because I was like,

48
00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:47,240
Speaker 1: I hate that when i feel off, I automatically think, oh,

49
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,360
Speaker 1: maybe I'm pregnant, you know. I hate that. I want

50
00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:52,839
Speaker 1: to feel that, but it could be COVID, it could

51
00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:55,440
Speaker 1: be anything, but my mind goes there. And she was like, well,

52
00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:57,920
Speaker 1: then just take a test and put that out of

53
00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,840
Speaker 1: your mind and then go drink some water and hydrate.

54
00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,280
Speaker 1: So I was in the bathroom on face time with her.

55
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,400
Speaker 1: I took a test, and I swear to God, I

56
00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:09,280
Speaker 1: like fainted screaming. I thought I was like having like

57
00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:11,640
Speaker 1: a massive diarrhea, Like he didn't not know what was

58
00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:14,240
Speaker 1: going on in the bathroom because I was like screaming,

59
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:18,880
Speaker 1: crying because I saw like a faint, like there was

60
00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:20,919
Speaker 1: a line there. But I was like, my mind's playing

61
00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:23,080
Speaker 1: tricks on me, and I turned the camera and back.

62
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:26,640
Speaker 1: It was like, that's a fucking line, Like, like god,

63
00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:31,279
Speaker 1: So it wasn't exciting or romantic. Tie came barging in.

64
00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:33,359
Speaker 1: He's like, is everything okay? Are you fine? And I

65
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,280
Speaker 1: was like, do I need to wipe your butt? He

66
00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:39,279
Speaker 1: literally was like no, no, this is tight. He knocks

67
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,200
Speaker 1: on the door and he like opens it and he's like,

68
00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:45,400
Speaker 1: are you okay? And I was like on the floor

69
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,279
Speaker 1: and so and then when we found out that it

70
00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:53,200
Speaker 1: was a girl, you found that out by yourself, yes, So,

71
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:57,359
Speaker 1: I mean with everything, like and I have been staying

72
00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:00,200
Speaker 1: with his parents for the last couple of months, so,

73
00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:03,120
Speaker 1: like everyone's just kind of been all over the board.

74
00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:06,440
Speaker 1: We really did not tell anyone I was pregnant. It

75
00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:10,279
Speaker 1: was actually crazy how the two of us were able

76
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:14,800
Speaker 1: to keep that. Um. I think again, after a miscarriage,

77
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:18,600
Speaker 1: it it hits differently. As much as you promise yourself

78
00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:20,960
Speaker 1: you're not going to let it affect you, it does.

79
00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:24,400
Speaker 1: Like you even said, every time you pee, every time

80
00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:26,280
Speaker 1: you like, I mean, sorry to get graphic, but it's

81
00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:28,200
Speaker 1: like every time you pee, you're checking to see if

82
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:31,120
Speaker 1: there's blood every time, and every time your stomach you

83
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,440
Speaker 1: just you want to believe it and you don't want

84
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,320
Speaker 1: to let the devil win, but like in the back

85
00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:37,480
Speaker 1: of your mind, you just start you're reserved. And so

86
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:43,200
Speaker 1: we didn't tell anyone, and I always knew, no shame

87
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:46,080
Speaker 1: to anyone, but I always knew I just didn't want

88
00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:49,080
Speaker 1: a gender I want. I mean, I didn't want to

89
00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:50,920
Speaker 1: gender reveal in the sense that me and I find

90
00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:53,760
Speaker 1: out with everyone else in that sense, only because I

91
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:56,479
Speaker 1: think the last year there's been a lot of surprises

92
00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:59,440
Speaker 1: the last year. I just wanted to have a moment

93
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:03,039
Speaker 1: between he and I personally where we could we could

94
00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:08,000
Speaker 1: do this together. So yeah, my doctor called me and

95
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:10,080
Speaker 1: he's been amazing and he's really been through it all

96
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,520
Speaker 1: with me, and I could just kind of tell, you know,

97
00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:15,159
Speaker 1: They're like do you want to know? And I'm like yeah,

98
00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:18,280
Speaker 1: and he was like it's a girl, and I just froze.

99
00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:22,880
Speaker 1: I just I just like I I didn't even I panicked,

100
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,200
Speaker 1: fully panicked, full sweat and he's like, are you there?

101
00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:28,120
Speaker 1: And then I tried to not cry and I was

102
00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:31,080
Speaker 1: like yeah, and he's like, okay, I have a good day.

103
00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:33,679
Speaker 1: So then I just went and bought a little pink

104
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:36,120
Speaker 1: rolf lrn Onesie and wrapped it up for Tie and

105
00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:39,520
Speaker 1: then I told him later um. And then it made

106
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:41,479
Speaker 1: it special because then we could tell both of our

107
00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:44,320
Speaker 1: parents separately, and it was like it was for them,

108
00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:48,000
Speaker 1: like his mom lost it, my mom lost it. So

109
00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:53,040
Speaker 1: it just made it It was I'm like dreaming and

110
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,480
Speaker 1: like I even like talking about it now. It feels

111
00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:58,520
Speaker 1: so weird because I still am like is this like

112
00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:01,679
Speaker 1: a thing? So what do you what do you say

113
00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,839
Speaker 1: to the girl? What do you say to you? Because

114
00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:08,240
Speaker 1: you were the girl about, you know, just suffering a

115
00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:14,000
Speaker 1: miscarriage and not having hope that you're going to be

116
00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:16,360
Speaker 1: a year later kind of in this situation. So it's

117
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,080
Speaker 1: like what do you say to what do you say

118
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,240
Speaker 1: to you know, old Sarah, your go what do you

119
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:23,240
Speaker 1: say to the girl that has just recently miscarried and

120
00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:26,560
Speaker 1: has like, you know, that feeling of like just brokenness

121
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:29,000
Speaker 1: and no hope, and like what do you say to

122
00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:33,440
Speaker 1: that girl? So I kept a I kept a journal

123
00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:37,120
Speaker 1: after the miscarriage, not even on purpose. I just like

124
00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:39,800
Speaker 1: realized I wanted I wanted to remember how it all

125
00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:41,960
Speaker 1: felt in a weird way. I wanted to remember where

126
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,320
Speaker 1: I was because I knew I was going to get

127
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,720
Speaker 1: out of it, and I went back and was reading it,

128
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:49,400
Speaker 1: and I was like, to answer your question, what would

129
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,920
Speaker 1: I say to her? What do I say to anyone listening.

130
00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:58,520
Speaker 1: It's so hard to take any advice or to to

131
00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:05,200
Speaker 1: picture anything other than heartbreak, But like, just know that

132
00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:10,040
Speaker 1: it gets better and take everything. Take everything as a win.

133
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,080
Speaker 1: I mean, if you get to go on a weekend

134
00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:14,040
Speaker 1: get away with your best friend, or if you get

135
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:17,120
Speaker 1: to go now dine outside, have a date with your

136
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:20,239
Speaker 1: husband or wife or boyfriend or girlfriend, like take every

137
00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:23,640
Speaker 1: little thing as a win because it all started to

138
00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:25,560
Speaker 1: you know, and everyone says when does it get better?

139
00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:27,800
Speaker 1: When does it get better? And you even said, like

140
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:31,160
Speaker 1: there is no time frame. Everyone's different. For me, it

141
00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:35,080
Speaker 1: started to get better in like the fall when I

142
00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:38,880
Speaker 1: just started realizing like, okay, that was not the plan,

143
00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:41,520
Speaker 1: Like there is a plan and that was just not it.

144
00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:46,280
Speaker 1: Like just I was able to finally live. Because it

145
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,440
Speaker 1: is all consuming, as much as you don't want it

146
00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:50,880
Speaker 1: to be, and as much as everyone tells you. You know,

147
00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:53,360
Speaker 1: people can tell you everything all day long till they're

148
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,320
Speaker 1: blue in the face, but you have to just know

149
00:08:56,520 --> 00:09:00,360
Speaker 1: in your gut that whatever it is it will better.

150
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,320
Speaker 1: And that's what I wish I could just tell myself.

151
00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:05,640
Speaker 1: I mean, when Kloman didn't work in December, I spent

152
00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:08,480
Speaker 1: and I thought it was better too. I was like,

153
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,400
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm feeling so much better. I mean,

154
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:14,080
Speaker 1: I cried all Christmas. I cried, and I just wish

155
00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:17,440
Speaker 1: I could go back and be like, it's just not like,

156
00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:22,480
Speaker 1: just let it go, breathe and just live because whoever

157
00:09:22,559 --> 00:09:24,679
Speaker 1: you're surrounded with, like Ty doesn't want to see me

158
00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:27,840
Speaker 1: like that. It kills him. You know, like as hard

159
00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:30,440
Speaker 1: as it is to go about your day and just

160
00:09:30,559 --> 00:09:33,000
Speaker 1: think of all the positives, just think of the positives.

161
00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:38,120
Speaker 1: I really think that's it, because yeah, Sarah, I am

162
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:42,280
Speaker 1: so when you sent me the photo, I mean I

163
00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:46,840
Speaker 1: I screamed. So you were in Canada like when this

164
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:49,120
Speaker 1: was all and I'm like, I am not going to

165
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,920
Speaker 1: call this bitch on set like she's like and then

166
00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:54,400
Speaker 1: she You're like out at this zoo, You're like doing

167
00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:56,679
Speaker 1: things at like these are full days you're having and

168
00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:59,440
Speaker 1: I'm ties like, how have you not? I'm like this

169
00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:02,600
Speaker 1: is that also was another reason why we didn't tell people.

170
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,480
Speaker 1: I'm like, COVID makes it so weird. I wasn't seeing

171
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:06,200
Speaker 1: anyone face to face, Like what was I gonna do

172
00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:09,480
Speaker 1: send a text to every person? So finally when you

173
00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:11,560
Speaker 1: were like home, I saw you were doing stories and

174
00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:14,080
Speaker 1: you're like, ask me a question. I'm unpacking. I'm like, okay,

175
00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:17,120
Speaker 1: she's sitting down like she's home, and I was like,

176
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:20,480
Speaker 1: she's gonna die. And you're like, oh my god, I

177
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,400
Speaker 1: know you called you face time to me right away,

178
00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:25,839
Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't know, is this real? Yeah? Apparently,

179
00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:30,920
Speaker 1: so like just screaming, I'm so proud. I'm so happy

180
00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:35,640
Speaker 1: for you guys, Like I mean, you're you're glowing obviously,

181
00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:38,480
Speaker 1: and I just I can't wait to meet this little girl.

182
00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:41,200
Speaker 1: I can't wait for Jolly and her to have little

183
00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:46,360
Speaker 1: late dates and like it's so it's so weird, and

184
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,560
Speaker 1: I have to constantly like even doing this, I was

185
00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:52,440
Speaker 1: like hyping myself up because I'm like, I mean, I

186
00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:54,480
Speaker 1: didn't post on Instagram to like last week because I

187
00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:57,080
Speaker 1: was just so it's such a and then I and

188
00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:59,559
Speaker 1: then you feel for everyone because you know, for every

189
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:03,320
Speaker 1: person who's excited for you, there's someone who just absolutely

190
00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:05,880
Speaker 1: hates me. Yeah, because even I would scroll when I

191
00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:08,480
Speaker 1: would see people. I'm like, well even your own sister,

192
00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:10,520
Speaker 1: Like when your sister got pregnant, it's like you want

193
00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:12,400
Speaker 1: to hate your own sister, but you you you know,

194
00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:15,000
Speaker 1: the jealous of your freaking sister. You know, of course

195
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:19,120
Speaker 1: and natural that was a wild ride. But that's why

196
00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,240
Speaker 1: it's just so hard, because I'm like, and that's why

197
00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:25,400
Speaker 1: I wanted to say, like I get it, Like, trust me,

198
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,640
Speaker 1: this did not come easy. I am not someone who

199
00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:29,400
Speaker 1: tried for two months and was so lucky and it

200
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,320
Speaker 1: just happened. And I don't even know how it happened.

201
00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:34,880
Speaker 1: And you know this, this took us about a year,

202
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:38,320
Speaker 1: a little over a year, so like it does you know,

203
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,240
Speaker 1: it wears on you, but I don't know. I'm I

204
00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:46,880
Speaker 1: have faith and I now know every single thing, my

205
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:50,160
Speaker 1: whole life is already planned out for me by someone else,

206
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:53,000
Speaker 1: and I'm just living it and hoping for the best.

207
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:58,000
Speaker 1: And I just hope this girl has good hair. Well

208
00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:01,120
Speaker 1: it's so cool that, like you're story, it's just come

209
00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:04,000
Speaker 1: full circle, like on this show and with us and

210
00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:06,400
Speaker 1: all his friends and part of each other's lives, going

211
00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:09,880
Speaker 1: from talking about time not proposing to now you guys,

212
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,480
Speaker 1: you know, having a little baby, and so we're just

213
00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:15,440
Speaker 1: so happy. I'm proud of both of you and I

214
00:12:15,559 --> 00:12:18,280
Speaker 1: just yeah, we like, we want to see you. So

215
00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:20,199
Speaker 1: however we can see you if you're when you're when

216
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:21,800
Speaker 1: you're ready, just let us know. We want to we

217
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:25,160
Speaker 1: want to come see you. And um, but for all

218
00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:28,240
Speaker 1: those listening, Sarah has an awesome podcast that she does

219
00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:30,200
Speaker 1: call the net Chicks, and they just talked about different

220
00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:33,240
Speaker 1: shows and it's fun. Here, give your give your best elevator.

221
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:38,360
Speaker 1: If you like wind Down, it's nothing like wind Down.

222
00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:42,600
Speaker 1: We don't talk about anything personal. No, I'm kidding. Um,

223
00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:45,720
Speaker 1: we just talk about yeah, TV shows, movies, things that

224
00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:49,880
Speaker 1: we're watching, whether it's Bravo, whether it's Hbo, Netflix, Hulu.

225
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,439
Speaker 1: We just Natalie's my co host and it's the two

226
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,000
Speaker 1: of us. We just kind of um. Last year was

227
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:57,880
Speaker 1: dark and scary, and we wanted an outlet for people

228
00:12:57,920 --> 00:13:01,080
Speaker 1: to literally forget where they were, what they were and

229
00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:03,800
Speaker 1: just laugh with us and talk shows. And I mean,

230
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:06,280
Speaker 1: half the time you're texting your family what are you watching?

231
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,319
Speaker 1: You should watch this, you should watch this. So now

232
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:10,679
Speaker 1: we're telling you what to watch, what not to watch,

233
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:14,080
Speaker 1: and uh, yeah, we we just try and you know,

234
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:17,360
Speaker 1: bring a little sunshine on a rainy day. Well, it's true,

235
00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:21,880
Speaker 1: it's awesome. So Sarah Gretzky, I love you so much,

236
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:24,480
Speaker 1: so happy for your congratulations on your baby girl, and

237
00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:27,080
Speaker 1: thank you. Um I'll text you on the side for

238
00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:31,640
Speaker 1: dates and see it. I know I need to hug

239
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:34,199
Speaker 1: and and thank you and thank all of the Wine

240
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:37,120
Speaker 1: Down people because honestly, like if I didn't, I mean,

241
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:39,040
Speaker 1: you were the only person I really knew at this

242
00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:42,040
Speaker 1: during all of this, so you helped so much. And

243
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:45,240
Speaker 1: I just you, guys, get yourself a friend who who

244
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:48,400
Speaker 1: knows what what the what the f is going on,

245
00:13:48,559 --> 00:13:51,800
Speaker 1: because it makes life a lot easier to have someone

246
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:54,800
Speaker 1: you know support you and guide you and and all

247
00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:57,000
Speaker 1: the and and if they have a podcast, you know

248
00:13:57,080 --> 00:14:05,880
Speaker 1: that helps too, So you talk to you somelf. Oh

249
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:08,880
Speaker 1: my gosh, I'm so happy for her. So that was

250
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:12,800
Speaker 1: I just love her. She's the best. I'm just again

251
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:16,240
Speaker 1: the fact that her entire stories coming full circle. And yeah,

252
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:18,559
Speaker 1: it's true. God has a bigger plan for him. We

253
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:21,600
Speaker 1: knew it was inevitable, but it's hard during those times

254
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:24,560
Speaker 1: when it's not coming to fruition. So for sure, I'm

255
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:28,800
Speaker 1: so happy for them. Well, we have a really awesome

256
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:35,760
Speaker 1: guest Um today and we're reading their book Um Vertical Marriage.

257
00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,600
Speaker 1: We're almost done with it. It's Dave and Ann Wilson.

258
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:40,520
Speaker 1: And just a little backstory about Dave Um. He's actually

259
00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:46,160
Speaker 1: the pastor at UM, the church that my family goes to.

260
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:50,840
Speaker 1: And while uh so, we got the book from them

261
00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:54,960
Speaker 1: from my my mom and her husband and we started

262
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,040
Speaker 1: reading it and we just love it so much. So

263
00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:00,760
Speaker 1: there's a there's a lot of you connection to a

264
00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:03,120
Speaker 1: higher power in this. That's what it's called a vertical marriage,

265
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,040
Speaker 1: and there's a lot of They're so real and they

266
00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:06,760
Speaker 1: have a sense of humor when they talk about it.

267
00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:09,200
Speaker 1: You know, we were compared a lot to our book.

268
00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,360
Speaker 1: And before we get him on, before we're about to

269
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,240
Speaker 1: take a break, but I'm gonna read something to kind

270
00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:17,800
Speaker 1: of get you guys interested. This is something that Dave

271
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:20,960
Speaker 1: said as I read the Apostle Paul's famous statement to

272
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:23,760
Speaker 1: live is Christ and to die is Gain. I was

273
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:26,800
Speaker 1: struck with this thought, I would rather be dead than

274
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:30,160
Speaker 1: married to Anne. Let's take a break and get him

275
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:50,760
Speaker 1: on there. He is, Hey, Davey doing good? How about

276
00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:55,120
Speaker 1: you guys? We're so good We are so excited to

277
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:58,280
Speaker 1: be talking to you guys. Um. Yeah, we're just thank

278
00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:00,920
Speaker 1: you for We feel very honored to view on our show.

279
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:04,480
Speaker 1: So thank you so so, so so so much. We

280
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:06,920
Speaker 1: are too, We're glad to be here. We feel honored

281
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:10,280
Speaker 1: to be with you guys. Well we um, we know

282
00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:13,280
Speaker 1: that you guys have a new book. UM that that

283
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:15,920
Speaker 1: just it's it's did it just come out or is

284
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:19,040
Speaker 1: it when? Does it come out? Yesterday? Okay, just came

285
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:21,200
Speaker 1: out yesterday? Okay, So I definitely want to talk about

286
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:23,560
Speaker 1: that book. But is it cool if we go back

287
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:26,960
Speaker 1: to the other book as well, Vertical Marriage, Because you know,

288
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:30,360
Speaker 1: one of our things that we do UM once a

289
00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:32,640
Speaker 1: week is you know, we've been reading from your book

290
00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:35,440
Speaker 1: and we're so close to being done and we've just

291
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:38,600
Speaker 1: we've learned a lot, but we've written down a bunch

292
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,520
Speaker 1: of stuff that we just we just want to ask

293
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,680
Speaker 1: you because you know, as we're going through our marriage,

294
00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:49,120
Speaker 1: we see so many similarities in y'all's young marriage and

295
00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:52,480
Speaker 1: I'm just like, I don't know, this is just so cool. No,

296
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:54,840
Speaker 1: it's awesome. And you know, we're just kind of prepping

297
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,600
Speaker 1: our listeners before we got you guys, on here, and

298
00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:00,480
Speaker 1: we fell in love with your book from the beginning

299
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,200
Speaker 1: because there's those aha moments where we're reading it out

300
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:06,040
Speaker 1: loud to one another and we're like, that's me, like

301
00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:08,080
Speaker 1: I'm so Dave or I'm so in in this, and

302
00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:11,560
Speaker 1: you know that's that relation. There is just what keeps

303
00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:15,520
Speaker 1: keeps readers engaged, right, And we love the humor that

304
00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:17,520
Speaker 1: you add to it too, where you're able to laugh

305
00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:20,280
Speaker 1: at your own selves and be like, what the heck

306
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:23,600
Speaker 1: was I thinking? So that just continued to to keep

307
00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:26,280
Speaker 1: us engaged. And so I know our listeners again we're

308
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:29,080
Speaker 1: gonna talk about no perfect parents, but Vertical Marriage really

309
00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:34,119
Speaker 1: just connected with us, especially since you know, our belief

310
00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:36,199
Speaker 1: in Christ and the Higher Power was something that Jan

311
00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:39,720
Speaker 1: and I opened up in our book about losing for

312
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,879
Speaker 1: a long time, and really over the past couple of

313
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:46,080
Speaker 1: years together, we've we've leaned more into that. So this

314
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:48,960
Speaker 1: was the perfect book for us because it's just it's

315
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,959
Speaker 1: there's so much connection to a higher power, hence the title,

316
00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:54,960
Speaker 1: and uh, you know, we just want our listeners to

317
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,760
Speaker 1: kind of understand where all that comes from for you guys,

318
00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:02,119
Speaker 1: and why you called it the vert marriage. Can't you

319
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:05,120
Speaker 1: just say, how inspiring it is that you guys read

320
00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:08,199
Speaker 1: do each other at night. I was like, oh, we

321
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,639
Speaker 1: need to start doing that. I don't know if we

322
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:15,080
Speaker 1: were we can get up to that level, you know.

323
00:18:15,359 --> 00:18:17,280
Speaker 1: So one of the things that I was reading, and

324
00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,520
Speaker 1: I can't remember which chapter it was in, but and

325
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:21,879
Speaker 1: you said, you know, this was kind of like the

326
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:24,800
Speaker 1: where it started for you guys was when you were

327
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:26,240
Speaker 1: in the car and you said that you didn't have

328
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:30,080
Speaker 1: feelings for Dave anymore. And you know when I was

329
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:32,639
Speaker 1: when we were reading into your chapter more you guys

330
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:34,720
Speaker 1: talked about in chapter four, it was about you know,

331
00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:37,520
Speaker 1: you had your weekly date nights, so when you have

332
00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:39,440
Speaker 1: and I kind of started thinking, I'm like, okay, well

333
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:41,760
Speaker 1: we do our weekly date nights. And I'm like, now

334
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:45,000
Speaker 1: I'm scared that, like and when we have that anniversary

335
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,960
Speaker 1: that I'm like, if I'm to go and I don't

336
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,560
Speaker 1: have feelings for you anymore, I'm like, where did it?

337
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:53,600
Speaker 1: Where did where was the mishappen? That? Like? Having you

338
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:56,280
Speaker 1: had you made the time, but then you know ten

339
00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:58,560
Speaker 1: years later you're like, but I don't have feelings for you.

340
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:01,639
Speaker 1: So it's like, where did the where did that come in?

341
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:06,960
Speaker 1: I'll let Ann answer because I still had feelings. Let

342
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:10,639
Speaker 1: the record show Dave still loved. That's a great question

343
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:14,000
Speaker 1: because we were still going out. It was more sporadic

344
00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:17,240
Speaker 1: back then. But I realized we kind of stopped talking.

345
00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:19,399
Speaker 1: You know, we had a couple of kids. They were little,

346
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:24,240
Speaker 1: and you're exhausted anyway when you're going out, um, and

347
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:27,800
Speaker 1: we just stopped talking about how we were doing. And

348
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:31,600
Speaker 1: then Dave was starting this church that we planted, and

349
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:33,679
Speaker 1: we were both doing it, but he was gone all

350
00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:37,480
Speaker 1: the time. We just started fighting about you're not home,

351
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:40,359
Speaker 1: like you're gonna miss it, You're gonna miss these kids,

352
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:43,520
Speaker 1: you're gonna miss growing them growing up. And I was

353
00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:46,959
Speaker 1: feeling I need your help. So I was getting resentful.

354
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:50,760
Speaker 1: Even though I loved that we were fulfilling this dream,

355
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,280
Speaker 1: I felt like he was doing it without us, and

356
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:57,840
Speaker 1: we started fighting about that and we just couldn't agree.

357
00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,760
Speaker 1: He I would say, you're gone the time, and he

358
00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:03,280
Speaker 1: would say show me in the calendar, like I'm not.

359
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:06,080
Speaker 1: I'm not gone all the time. And so what happened

360
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:08,640
Speaker 1: was we just kept fighting and it would go nowhere,

361
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:12,840
Speaker 1: and I stopped trying, and I realized, like I just

362
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,960
Speaker 1: shut down my heart. At first, I was super angry,

363
00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:19,080
Speaker 1: and then I got really bitter, and then the bitterness

364
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:24,280
Speaker 1: turned to basically resentment, and then it went to nothing.

365
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:28,000
Speaker 1: And so it took a while to get there because

366
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:30,000
Speaker 1: after a while I was like, oh, you're going again.

367
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:34,160
Speaker 1: Who cares? I'm always used to this, and that's when

368
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,720
Speaker 1: it can get really scary. And we all have ups

369
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:39,960
Speaker 1: and downs in our marriages, but when you're at that

370
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:44,520
Speaker 1: place where you have nothing, that's when it's like it's

371
00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:48,199
Speaker 1: like the dashboard of your cars going off, like you

372
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:51,080
Speaker 1: need to get the engine checked of your heart. And

373
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:54,800
Speaker 1: that's where we were. And so Dave, I felt like,

374
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,720
Speaker 1: how did you know? How did you not know how

375
00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:00,480
Speaker 1: bad we were? You know, Dave's like we were point

376
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:03,120
Speaker 1: five out of ten and I was saying, no, we're

377
00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:06,600
Speaker 1: a point five out of ten. And the fact that

378
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,320
Speaker 1: you didn't know that, I just thought, that's because you're

379
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:12,960
Speaker 1: not even engaged with how we're doing. You know, hearing

380
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:17,200
Speaker 1: this now, you know this was thirty years ago. Um,

381
00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:20,439
Speaker 1: I was an idiot. I mean, as I listen to

382
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 1: this and like, how in the world did I miss this?

383
00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:26,840
Speaker 1: And I did? And I think it's not an excuse

384
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:30,920
Speaker 1: but I think I was finding so much life outside.

385
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,919
Speaker 1: You know. I was traveling with the Detroit Lions as

386
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 1: their chaplain, I was leading Bible studies, were starting to

387
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:40,480
Speaker 1: church that grew pretty quickly. People were pattent patting me

388
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,280
Speaker 1: on the back, and I felt, you know, now, looking back,

389
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:46,680
Speaker 1: I just found my life out there rather than here.

390
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:51,720
Speaker 1: And yeah, we were fighting. There were constantly yelling we

391
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:53,920
Speaker 1: go out on a date and we didn't talk about

392
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:57,159
Speaker 1: this relationship. No, we didn't talk about a relationship. We

393
00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:00,840
Speaker 1: talked about the kids. We talked about my our jobs.

394
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:04,159
Speaker 1: You know, again, every couple does this. And yet if

395
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,840
Speaker 1: you don't pay attention to the most important relationship in

396
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,159
Speaker 1: your life, which is your marriage, the rest is going

397
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:12,199
Speaker 1: to fall apart. And that's what was happening. And I

398
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:14,280
Speaker 1: didn't even see it, you know, and we wrote about

399
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:18,800
Speaker 1: it in the parenting book you know later. It's because

400
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:22,600
Speaker 1: your life gets consumed by your kids, which is wonderful.

401
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,240
Speaker 1: But if you're not careful and you don't put the

402
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:28,320
Speaker 1: marriage first, you're not gonna even have those kids. They're

403
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:29,960
Speaker 1: gonna be in separate homes and you're gonna be do

404
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:32,360
Speaker 1: visitations on the weekend, which is the home I grew

405
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:35,680
Speaker 1: up in, you know, without a dad, and so I'm

406
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:38,399
Speaker 1: so thankful that on our tenure anniversary and had the

407
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:41,800
Speaker 1: curios to say I've lost my feelings for you, which

408
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:44,399
Speaker 1: really was her way of saying, I'm not sure I

409
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,719
Speaker 1: want to stay here anymore because we are done. And

410
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:50,880
Speaker 1: again I was blindsided by that, but now looking back,

411
00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:53,240
Speaker 1: it was the best moment our marriage because it in

412
00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 1: that moment changed everything. And here's the truth. We all

413
00:22:56,680 --> 00:23:03,720
Speaker 1: drift unless we're intentional. Yeah, David, you know that what

414
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:07,040
Speaker 1: Jane's question and response brought something I had written down

415
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:10,800
Speaker 1: from chapter eight where you said, you know, you're realizing

416
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:13,119
Speaker 1: you or that that push and poll of being the

417
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:16,320
Speaker 1: man at home, being the same man at home that

418
00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:18,760
Speaker 1: you are when you're preaching to the church, right, and

419
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:21,879
Speaker 1: kind of like that that the hypocrisy of it. Right,

420
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:23,760
Speaker 1: You're preaching this word of how to be and then

421
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:27,080
Speaker 1: you go home and you justify your actions, justify your

422
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:30,120
Speaker 1: time away and what you're trying to do. So kind

423
00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:32,199
Speaker 1: of speak to us on like when you started to

424
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:35,480
Speaker 1: realize that's what you were doing and now how hard

425
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:41,680
Speaker 1: it is to preach that and execute it at home. Yeah,

426
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:44,439
Speaker 1: I think you know. I think there's a story in

427
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:47,080
Speaker 1: our book where you know, it was late at night

428
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:51,200
Speaker 1: and Anne said to me, and again, this is Sunday night,

429
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:55,760
Speaker 1: So that means, you know, Saturday night, I did chapel

430
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,199
Speaker 1: for the Lions down at the team hotel. Michael, you

431
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,719
Speaker 1: know all this whole the whole root of a weekend

432
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,800
Speaker 1: with an NFL team. Well, no, no, listen to this.

433
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:05,520
Speaker 1: So that means that again, I'm not trying to pat

434
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:08,360
Speaker 1: myself on the back, but it's it's a busy weekend. Saturday.

435
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:11,159
Speaker 1: I preach at my church first, then drive down to

436
00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:14,560
Speaker 1: the team Hotel du Chapel, go back and preach three

437
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,080
Speaker 1: more servants at my church on Sunday, then zip down

438
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:19,879
Speaker 1: to the stadium and change into my sideline gear and

439
00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:23,080
Speaker 1: run onto the sideline and do the whole game thing.

440
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:26,120
Speaker 1: And again most people think, oh, one exciting life. It's

441
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 1: really exhausting. And then I get home and I'm exhausted

442
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:32,160
Speaker 1: and I just want to go to sleep. And it's

443
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:35,400
Speaker 1: got to be eleven thirty at night, and I'm literally

444
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:38,000
Speaker 1: laying in there bed beside Anne and I'm just closing

445
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:42,360
Speaker 1: my eyes, and she out of nowhere says, man, it's

446
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:45,760
Speaker 1: sure would be nice if the man that preaches and

447
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:47,960
Speaker 1: leads our church was the same guy that lived in

448
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:51,600
Speaker 1: this house or something. I don't know exactly. Yeah, I

449
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:54,440
Speaker 1: said that, like, I wish the guy that preached such

450
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:56,680
Speaker 1: a great leader and is praying up there, I wish

451
00:24:56,680 --> 00:25:00,760
Speaker 1: she lived in our house. But I again, I'm about

452
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:04,520
Speaker 1: ready to go to sleep, so I barely understood what

453
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:06,600
Speaker 1: she said. I go, what, what what are you saying?

454
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:09,160
Speaker 1: She goes, well, it's just like me, and you stand

455
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:12,000
Speaker 1: up on our stage and you pray with this passion,

456
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:16,639
Speaker 1: and you lead with big vision and people are following,

457
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:19,359
Speaker 1: and you come home and you're just like a dud.

458
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:22,280
Speaker 1: You know, it's just like you're none of that. And

459
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:24,480
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what, man, I wish I could say.

460
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 1: I said, I am so sorry you were so I

461
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:31,800
Speaker 1: blew up well, and I was bad timing on every

462
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:34,760
Speaker 1: part of mine, you know, for me, terrible. I literally

463
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:37,280
Speaker 1: said something like, you realize how good of a husband

464
00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:40,359
Speaker 1: I am. I'm the best husband you've ever seen your life.

465
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,879
Speaker 1: No other wife has a man like me. You know.

466
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,439
Speaker 1: She just sort of got quiet and that was the

467
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:48,720
Speaker 1: end of that. But the next day, you know, it

468
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:51,800
Speaker 1: was you You're referencing in the book. I sort of

469
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:54,000
Speaker 1: sat down with God in a calmer state and said,

470
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:57,200
Speaker 1: you know, is was what Anne said to me last night?

471
00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 1: Was that sort of you because often I've said at

472
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:03,400
Speaker 1: our church, God talks through the pews. It's my acrosstick,

473
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 1: you know, because you think of pews that at church

474
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 1: God talks through people, events, word of God and spirit

475
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:12,000
Speaker 1: of God. That guy can talk anyway he wants, but

476
00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:14,560
Speaker 1: often he'll use a person, even a two year old

477
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:17,280
Speaker 1: or a five year old, or a stranger can say something.

478
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:21,040
Speaker 1: You're like, wow, I think that was I think Anne

479
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:23,200
Speaker 1: was speaking and God was trying to get my attention,

480
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 1: and I, you know, I realized that's exactly what was happening.

481
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:30,240
Speaker 1: It was like, man, I was given all my energy

482
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 1: two strangers in a sense, thousands of people at our

483
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:37,600
Speaker 1: church that I will never really be held accountable for.

484
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,280
Speaker 1: But I will be held accountable, I think in a

485
00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:43,160
Speaker 1: sense for how I led Anne. And we had three

486
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:45,360
Speaker 1: boys at the time. We still do there now men,

487
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:49,480
Speaker 1: But you know how I lead my home. And it

488
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:51,919
Speaker 1: was one of those moments, Michael, whereas a man and

489
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,919
Speaker 1: as a dad and as a husband, I had to

490
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:56,400
Speaker 1: look in the mirror and go, you know what, it's

491
00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:58,919
Speaker 1: time to step up. It's more important what I do

492
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,840
Speaker 1: in this house that anything I do out there and

493
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:03,880
Speaker 1: everything out there is going to get applauded, and people

494
00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:06,760
Speaker 1: are gonna say, man, it's important, and it is important

495
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:09,640
Speaker 1: what we do out in our workplace. But man, if

496
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 1: I miss it at home and I miss it in

497
00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:14,240
Speaker 1: my marriage because I'm giving all my energy somewhere else,

498
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:17,560
Speaker 1: I missed it. And you know, in ministry, in a sense,

499
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:19,840
Speaker 1: I'll sort of lose my ministry because it's it's a

500
00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:23,879
Speaker 1: credibility integrity thing, and I think every job we do

501
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:26,320
Speaker 1: is like can I trust this man? Can I trust

502
00:27:26,359 --> 00:27:28,960
Speaker 1: this woman? Are they the same person in public that

503
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:31,560
Speaker 1: they are in private? And so, in a sense, I'm

504
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:33,280
Speaker 1: not saying I did it perfectly, but it was a

505
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:35,320
Speaker 1: moment for me to go, Okay, it's time to step

506
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:37,920
Speaker 1: up and bring the energy here in my marriage and

507
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:40,280
Speaker 1: my home that I bring out there. Not that I'm

508
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:42,960
Speaker 1: gonna bring less energy out there, but man. And so

509
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:45,920
Speaker 1: I actually developed a little process. On my drive home

510
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:48,679
Speaker 1: from work. I had this mailbox that was near our house,

511
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 1: and I would sort of open the it just visually.

512
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:53,760
Speaker 1: I just sort of open that mailbox and put my

513
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:57,080
Speaker 1: day job in there and pick up my husband dad

514
00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:00,200
Speaker 1: job so that when I walked in my girl each

515
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:03,159
Speaker 1: door in a couple of minutes, I wouldn't be I'm exhausted.

516
00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 1: Do you understand how stressed I am at work. I'm

517
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,320
Speaker 1: just gonna sit on the couch here and bed out,

518
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,919
Speaker 1: which I think a lot of us do. And I

519
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,560
Speaker 1: felt like I need to step in that door and go, Okay,

520
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:16,160
Speaker 1: even though I'm exhausted, I'm bringing everything I got. I've

521
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:19,240
Speaker 1: got five or six hours tonight with my wife and

522
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:21,840
Speaker 1: with my kids, and pretty soon they're gonna be grown

523
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:24,000
Speaker 1: and out of the home. Yours are younger right now,

524
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:27,080
Speaker 1: but man, that window is gone before you know it.

525
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:29,080
Speaker 1: And older parents always told us that, you know, like

526
00:28:29,119 --> 00:28:30,720
Speaker 1: they're gonna grow up and be gone in a wink,

527
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:35,720
Speaker 1: and you're like, yeah, whatever. Every day seems seems like

528
00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 1: a week exactly. All I know is now I'm old

529
00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:43,000
Speaker 1: enough to go. That is true. You'll blink, and looking back,

530
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 1: I'm glad I made this shift. Again. I didn't do

531
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:47,360
Speaker 1: it perfectly, but it's like, man, I need to be

532
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 1: a husband right now, and I need to give Anne

533
00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:52,240
Speaker 1: everything she longs for from her man, and I need

534
00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 1: to be a dad right now, and I'm tired. But

535
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:56,280
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. You know, you step up as an

536
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:58,760
Speaker 1: athlete and you get it done when you're injured, when

537
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:01,720
Speaker 1: you're exhausted, the same thing as a husband and wife,

538
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:04,520
Speaker 1: as a mom and dad. You know, it makes me

539
00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:09,640
Speaker 1: think about um this analogy from Emerson Edgar's Burke book

540
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:13,440
Speaker 1: Love and Respect, where kind of talks about and I

541
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:17,080
Speaker 1: feel the complacency or more comfortability and myself kind of

542
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:21,000
Speaker 1: like you're talking about Dave of where to me in

543
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:23,840
Speaker 1: my mind maybe men in general, it's like, well, my

544
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:25,920
Speaker 1: wife said I love you on our wedding day, so

545
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:27,920
Speaker 1: I know she's not going you know what I mean, Like,

546
00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 1: I know she's not going anywhere. Like I can come

547
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 1: home and not be like super husband and super dad

548
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:35,959
Speaker 1: and all this stuff. And so but reading reading y'all's

549
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:38,680
Speaker 1: book and you kind of owning that and and calling

550
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:41,840
Speaker 1: you out was like call, you know, stirred up some

551
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:44,920
Speaker 1: my own introspection to be like, hey, how can I

552
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:48,560
Speaker 1: do that too? How can I not justify? Hey? You

553
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:50,280
Speaker 1: and I worked my ass off today? Like what do

554
00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:52,040
Speaker 1: you what else do you want for me? You know,

555
00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:54,200
Speaker 1: or or in those moments when I think because he

556
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:57,040
Speaker 1: gets frustrated with me, because I'll be like, I'm not

557
00:29:57,120 --> 00:29:59,160
Speaker 1: happy like if if if we're like in a bad

558
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:01,680
Speaker 1: rut for a while, I'm not happy, Like I don't

559
00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:03,280
Speaker 1: I don't know if I if this is going to

560
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:05,760
Speaker 1: continue on, if I can keep doing this, And he's like,

561
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 1: why does it always have to be? And I'm like, no,

562
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:11,440
Speaker 1: I'm not saying I just like sometimes sometimes and sometimes

563
00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 1: you're right sometimes okay, but it's like, you know, you

564
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:17,640
Speaker 1: guys just think it's like it'll be fine, but it's

565
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:19,520
Speaker 1: like we still want we need like a little bit

566
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 1: more effort out of like the man a little bit,

567
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:25,280
Speaker 1: because I feel like we're we're we're we're dry in

568
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:27,280
Speaker 1: that area, like we're we're trying, we're giving as much

569
00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:28,920
Speaker 1: as we can, but we only can give so much

570
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 1: without getting too Yeah, And I think as women, and

571
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:35,280
Speaker 1: I think for years, Dave Um, if I was saying

572
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:37,960
Speaker 1: I don't think we're doing well, he'd be like, I

573
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:41,160
Speaker 1: think we're fine, you know what I mean. And so

574
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:43,400
Speaker 1: it's kind of what you're saying, Jane, Like I can

575
00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:48,000
Speaker 1: sense like we're not connecting. Something's off and we're Daved

576
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:50,800
Speaker 1: before would ridicule it. Now he's I think women we

577
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 1: just have that natural sense relationally of we aren't doing

578
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:58,360
Speaker 1: well and we need to do something. Dave used to

579
00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 1: ridicule that. Now he's like, oh, God has wired her

580
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:05,240
Speaker 1: like that, and I usually know how to get us

581
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:08,360
Speaker 1: to a better point too. So that was really a

582
00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:11,840
Speaker 1: big thing when he stopped saying like, you're ridiculous or

583
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:15,920
Speaker 1: what are you talking about? Yeah, we're fine, and you know,

584
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:17,400
Speaker 1: we put it in the book. But one of the

585
00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:20,280
Speaker 1: things that changed about our date nights after that tenure

586
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 1: anniversary sort of pivotal moment, is now on our date

587
00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:26,719
Speaker 1: nights and we still do this. I'm asking her, so,

588
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:29,440
Speaker 1: how are we doing? I'll scale one to ten, and

589
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:31,080
Speaker 1: I know her number is still going to be lower

590
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:34,400
Speaker 1: than mine. But then I also ask, you know, how

591
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:36,760
Speaker 1: can we get the number higher? And I know she'll know.

592
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:40,480
Speaker 1: And before we weren't talking about our relationship. It wasn't

593
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:42,920
Speaker 1: because she didn't want to. She wanted to. I didn't

594
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:45,600
Speaker 1: want to go there. David be all chatty because he's

595
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:49,440
Speaker 1: a great communicator, so he's talking and then I'd go like, hey,

596
00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:52,760
Speaker 1: you know, besides the lions, you know, the sports teams

597
00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:54,920
Speaker 1: and all that. How do you think we're doing? And

598
00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:58,040
Speaker 1: suddenly he has no words left. He you know, would

599
00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:02,520
Speaker 1: be like, uh, fine, don't know. Yeah, we're good, right,

600
00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:06,640
Speaker 1: We're good. And I do think, you know, sometimes I

601
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:08,840
Speaker 1: can't talk for all men, but I think for me

602
00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:12,239
Speaker 1: it was like I think I knew what to do

603
00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:15,680
Speaker 1: in my job. I didn't always know what to do

604
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:17,760
Speaker 1: in my marriage or in my home. It's like I've

605
00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:20,680
Speaker 1: been trained, this is what I'm good at. Then I

606
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:23,040
Speaker 1: walked in the door and she's saying, can we you know,

607
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:27,320
Speaker 1: can we be intimate, not sexually, just sold the soul?

608
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:29,920
Speaker 1: Can we go deeper in our relationship? And I just like,

609
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:33,360
Speaker 1: I don't know what that means, you know, and so

610
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 1: and sometimes to be like, I don't know what it means,

611
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 1: so I'm not even gonna try. And I had to

612
00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:40,120
Speaker 1: realize I don't know what it means, but I can learn,

613
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:42,760
Speaker 1: and I can better, and we can get to a

614
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:46,200
Speaker 1: place I never even knew existed if I'm willing to

615
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:48,600
Speaker 1: pay the price and go there. And so we've had

616
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:50,720
Speaker 1: to do that, and it's been a it's it's sort

617
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:53,520
Speaker 1: of a fun journey, even though it's really crappy. At

618
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:58,640
Speaker 1: times it hurts, but that's cool though. That's the whole thing.

619
00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:00,920
Speaker 1: And that's what something we loved out your book so much,

620
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:05,640
Speaker 1: because it's all about finding that uncomfortable, you know, moments

621
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:08,080
Speaker 1: and leaning into them. And there's one thing I wrote down,

622
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:11,520
Speaker 1: um in chapter six where you talked about you're gonna

623
00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:14,680
Speaker 1: share an upcoming sermon, and you said that next week's

624
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:16,840
Speaker 1: sermon is called now that You've married the wrong person,

625
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 1: And so many people came up to you because so

626
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:21,959
Speaker 1: many people feel that way at times. And Jane and

627
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:25,360
Speaker 1: I were like, oh my goodness, like we hear so

628
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:27,800
Speaker 1: many people we've felt that way at times, like is

629
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:30,400
Speaker 1: this really the one? Because we have this made up

630
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:33,240
Speaker 1: perception that the right person everything is gonna be easy

631
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:35,480
Speaker 1: and perfect. And I just want you guys to touch

632
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:37,520
Speaker 1: on that topic for our listeners, because I'm sure there's

633
00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:39,880
Speaker 1: someone listening right now that's like, yeah, I did maybe

634
00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:43,280
Speaker 1: the wrong person. I guarantee I did. Oh. It's so

635
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:46,400
Speaker 1: funny because when we got married, you know, we're all,

636
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:49,640
Speaker 1: as everyone, you're so excited. You have these expectations of

637
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:51,720
Speaker 1: what it's going to be like and look like. And

638
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:54,400
Speaker 1: we have been married six months and we're driving for

639
00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:57,400
Speaker 1: our first job. And if you would have asked me

640
00:33:57,440 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 1: on our wedding day tell me Dave Wilson's weaknesses, I

641
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,880
Speaker 1: would have said, weaknesses. Are you kidding? I don't. I

642
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:06,800
Speaker 1: think maybe as one, I don't know. And I can

643
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:09,319
Speaker 1: remember as we're driving to this job, looking at him,

644
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:13,440
Speaker 1: thinking I don't think I like anything about him. And

645
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:17,600
Speaker 1: then I said out loud and I yelled it, marrying

646
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:20,360
Speaker 1: you with the biggest mistake of my life. And I

647
00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:24,440
Speaker 1: really thought, oh, I've married the wrong person. The right

648
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:28,239
Speaker 1: person is out there. Maybe we should split and I'll

649
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:30,600
Speaker 1: go find the right person. I think a lot of

650
00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:32,799
Speaker 1: people feel that. Yeah. And you know, like like I

651
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:34,880
Speaker 1: said in the book, you know, I was surprised at

652
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:38,279
Speaker 1: how many people came up about that sermon title. I

653
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:40,439
Speaker 1: just thought it's a good sermon title. I didn't really

654
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:43,719
Speaker 1: think people thought it. You know, all these people are like,

655
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:46,560
Speaker 1: I can't wait for next week. I'm like, oh my goodness, no, no, no, no,

656
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:49,239
Speaker 1: you didn't rob marry the wrong person. Um, but I

657
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:53,719
Speaker 1: do think Michael's what you said, Jane. It's like, we

658
00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:57,200
Speaker 1: think if we marry the right person will be happy

659
00:34:57,320 --> 00:35:00,319
Speaker 1: there'll be problems. They they won't really be that big deal.

660
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:05,319
Speaker 1: And then we get married and it is hard, and

661
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:09,200
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter who you marry. It's hard. Eventually. It

662
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:11,760
Speaker 1: could be in the first you know, six months or

663
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:15,160
Speaker 1: six years or six minutes, you know, but at some

664
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:17,520
Speaker 1: point it gets difficult and so we sort of go

665
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:19,239
Speaker 1: back and go, I'm gonna I'm not as happy as

666
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:22,840
Speaker 1: I thought i'd be. Uh, this isn't turning out the

667
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:24,799
Speaker 1: way I thought. This isn't what I signed up for.

668
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:27,520
Speaker 1: I married the wrong person. And what we try to

669
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:31,560
Speaker 1: say in vertical marriage is you're looking in the wrong place.

670
00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:35,759
Speaker 1: That's what the difference is is because and we all

671
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:38,320
Speaker 1: do this, and I preached this, and I still didn't

672
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:41,360
Speaker 1: do it. I was trying to find life and happiness

673
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:44,319
Speaker 1: from the one we have a name for it. I

674
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:47,200
Speaker 1: found the one, the one meaning the person that will

675
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:50,200
Speaker 1: make me happy. You know, it's Jerry McGuire. You completely

676
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:53,440
Speaker 1: like there was never a Jerry McGuire too, because it

677
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:58,280
Speaker 1: didn't work. It's like that, hopefully, But when that person

678
00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:01,200
Speaker 1: doesn't complete you or you're not as happy as you thought,

679
00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:03,960
Speaker 1: do you think you married drown person? And here's again

680
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:06,839
Speaker 1: we think it's the secret because you know, and again

681
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:09,040
Speaker 1: I'm not saying I watched The Bachelor the Bachelor at

682
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:12,319
Speaker 1: every week, but I gotta tell you, when it comes out,

683
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:14,279
Speaker 1: I get hooked, you know. And I'm watching this thing

684
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:17,080
Speaker 1: and I think a lot of a snicker because we're like,

685
00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:19,000
Speaker 1: it's not gonna work, dude, it's not gonna work. You're

686
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:22,000
Speaker 1: gonna find her, she's gonna find him. And eventually it's

687
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,360
Speaker 1: not gonna work because they're thinking, out of these twenty

688
00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:27,000
Speaker 1: guys or these twenty women, this is the one. And

689
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:31,840
Speaker 1: then there's problems. And again, what we believe is there's

690
00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:36,520
Speaker 1: a soul ache, a soul longing that is so deep

691
00:36:36,719 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 1: that no person will ever be able to satisfy no thing,

692
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:46,439
Speaker 1: no amount of money, no square footage or the fastest car,

693
00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:50,600
Speaker 1: the most beautiful woman are the most incredible man. All

694
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:52,759
Speaker 1: that is good, and there's nothing wrong with all that.

695
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:54,799
Speaker 1: But if you think your life is going to be

696
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:58,680
Speaker 1: totally happy by this salary or by this person, you're

697
00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:01,040
Speaker 1: gonna be disappointed. And then you're gonna go, well, it's

698
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:03,800
Speaker 1: a bigger car or a bigger house, so faster, or

699
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:06,959
Speaker 1: more money. And it's like we're looking in the wrong place.

700
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:11,880
Speaker 1: Vertical means there's only one person. He's the divine Creator,

701
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:16,239
Speaker 1: God made known through Christ, who is the answer to

702
00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:19,200
Speaker 1: our soul ache. You know, he's the He's the thirst

703
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:23,719
Speaker 1: quencher to our thirst. Jesus literally himself said, if any

704
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:25,759
Speaker 1: man's thirsty, let him come to me and drink, and

705
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:30,080
Speaker 1: out of the innermost being will flow living waters, living water.

706
00:37:30,239 --> 00:37:32,439
Speaker 1: It's like, you can look anywhere you want, but until

707
00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:34,719
Speaker 1: you understand what a relationship with Me looks like, you're

708
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:38,239
Speaker 1: only always gonna be searching. So vertical marriage means, Man,

709
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:41,120
Speaker 1: when I go vertical and find my life in my

710
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:45,239
Speaker 1: creator God, everything changes because now I think about this,

711
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:48,000
Speaker 1: I don't come back to my marriage needing something from

712
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:50,920
Speaker 1: her or she needing something from me. It's like we

713
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:53,920
Speaker 1: we just leach off one another and we're disappointed. No,

714
00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:57,200
Speaker 1: I am filled up. I am I am full And again,

715
00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:59,959
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about church or religion or reading a book.

716
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:03,000
Speaker 1: I'm talking about a real, living relationship with God that's

717
00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:05,480
Speaker 1: so real that it's like he does do what he

718
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:07,959
Speaker 1: said he do. Out of your innermost beings will feel

719
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:11,399
Speaker 1: you'll flow with lily water overflowing. Now I come back

720
00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:12,879
Speaker 1: to my marriage. And I think about this. I am

721
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 1: not needy. I'm a giver. I'm not a taker. I'm

722
00:38:15,719 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 1: a giver. So I'm like, okay, how can I serve

723
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:22,280
Speaker 1: in today? Because I don't need her serve me. I'm filled.

724
00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 1: I mean, it changes the whole ballgame because they're like, wow,

725
00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:28,400
Speaker 1: now I'm not selfish. I'm unselfish. I'm like, you know,

726
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:31,000
Speaker 1: the Bible says husbands love your your wife has Christ

727
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:34,719
Speaker 1: loved the church. I can't do that, but I can

728
00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:36,879
Speaker 1: do that, you know. It's like, Okay, I'm gonna lay

729
00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:39,600
Speaker 1: down my agenda in my life to fill her up.

730
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:41,440
Speaker 1: And if she's doing the same thing, oh my gosh,

731
00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:43,759
Speaker 1: that's a whole different marriage. Well it's interesting. On that

732
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:47,799
Speaker 1: tenure anniversary night, we're in the car and I would

733
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:50,399
Speaker 1: have said, the problem with our marriage is Dave. You know,

734
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:53,120
Speaker 1: he would get his stuff together. I think we would

735
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:56,359
Speaker 1: be great. And he was praying out loud, and I

736
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:59,560
Speaker 1: remember I could hear him praying, but in my heart,

737
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:02,520
Speaker 1: I felt like God was speaking to me, almost as

738
00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:05,640
Speaker 1: if he was saying, Anne Wilson, you have been trying

739
00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:09,319
Speaker 1: to find your life through your husband. And I felt

740
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:11,799
Speaker 1: like he was saying I never equipped him or made

741
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:14,879
Speaker 1: him to fill all of your needs. Only I can

742
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:18,320
Speaker 1: do that, and that really has made a big difference

743
00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:21,320
Speaker 1: when I start getting really needy a kind of question,

744
00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:27,360
Speaker 1: Am I going vertical? M hmm, well, no, love, we

745
00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:30,080
Speaker 1: love long answers. That's good. What would you say to

746
00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:34,040
Speaker 1: you know, couples like us who you know we have

747
00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:37,400
Speaker 1: more young in our marriage, we're still learning were we

748
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:41,719
Speaker 1: have turmoil? Um? We have. I thought we were great.

749
00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:49,640
Speaker 1: I thought you know what I mean, like where it's

750
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:52,279
Speaker 1: it's you know, it's it's it's a lot. There's a

751
00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:54,239
Speaker 1: lot of heaviness, and we're trying to find the light

752
00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:55,520
Speaker 1: and we're trying to get out of it and we're

753
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:58,000
Speaker 1: you know, we're taking one ft from the other. But

754
00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:02,040
Speaker 1: because we are still young at this, like, what would

755
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:05,240
Speaker 1: you say to us to you know, help us going

756
00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:10,000
Speaker 1: forward on that path of getting stronger together rather than

757
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:13,160
Speaker 1: being like I can't do this anymore. Yeah, I have

758
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:15,840
Speaker 1: a couple of things. I first thought was, this is

759
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:18,560
Speaker 1: what I wish I would have done as when we

760
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:21,360
Speaker 1: were married in our early like even the first twenty years,

761
00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:23,799
Speaker 1: I would get in my head. I don't know if

762
00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:25,960
Speaker 1: you guys have ever done this. I think maybe women

763
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:28,000
Speaker 1: do it more than men. If I get in this

764
00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:33,080
Speaker 1: cycle in my head of negativity about Dave, about our marriage,

765
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:36,960
Speaker 1: about life, whatever, or maybe it's something he said earlier

766
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:39,879
Speaker 1: that would offend me or make me mad, and then

767
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:42,720
Speaker 1: I get in my head and I can get into

768
00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:45,480
Speaker 1: this spiral of well, he never does this, or he

769
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:47,680
Speaker 1: always does this, and he's never home and he doesn't

770
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:50,160
Speaker 1: put us as a priority. And you know, as they've

771
00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:54,120
Speaker 1: been doing all this brain study, they're realizing we create

772
00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:59,200
Speaker 1: neurological pathways that our thought life creates. Our brain actually

773
00:40:59,239 --> 00:41:03,160
Speaker 1: creates these ads that we go down continually. And I

774
00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:06,120
Speaker 1: did that early in our marriage a lot. And then

775
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:09,520
Speaker 1: whatever you're thinking about eventually comes out of our mouth,

776
00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:12,680
Speaker 1: and it was usually negative. And in our book we

777
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:17,800
Speaker 1: sew and you and you probably read the story in

778
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:20,319
Speaker 1: our book about you know, I felt like everywhere else

779
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:24,319
Speaker 1: I when I got cheered, Yeah, I feel like I

780
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:26,960
Speaker 1: come home and all I hear is boo, you're teaking

781
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:30,279
Speaker 1: what I do. You're critiquing how I father, You're critiquing

782
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:32,880
Speaker 1: what I'm doing, how I'm not helping around the house.

783
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:36,960
Speaker 1: And I said, and he said, you always boom me,

784
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:40,400
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I am not booing you. I am

785
00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:43,959
Speaker 1: helping you. I am helping you to be a better man.

786
00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:47,319
Speaker 1: You know, everybody's patting you on the back, but I

787
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:50,360
Speaker 1: see all of it and I'm I'm stretching you, and

788
00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:56,120
Speaker 1: he goes it feels terrible. Remember I literally asked six

789
00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:58,000
Speaker 1: guys that I was doing life with. We were in

790
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:00,920
Speaker 1: a car going to a retreat, and I said to them,

791
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:02,520
Speaker 1: let me ask you a question. I said, do you

792
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:04,640
Speaker 1: guys and I know their wives. I know that we've

793
00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:06,799
Speaker 1: been friends, we're friends. I said, do you feel like

794
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:10,960
Speaker 1: your your wives love you? Every guy said yep. Just immediately,

795
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:12,960
Speaker 1: I said, let me ask you another question. Do you

796
00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:16,840
Speaker 1: feel like your wives like you? Every guy said nope.

797
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:20,560
Speaker 1: And I'm like what They're like, dude, why are you

798
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:22,920
Speaker 1: asking me this question? I go, because I feel like

799
00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:26,799
Speaker 1: Anne loves me. She's not leaving. But man, every day

800
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:29,160
Speaker 1: it's like, I don't do this right, I don't measure up.

801
00:42:29,239 --> 00:42:31,440
Speaker 1: I should do that. I feel like she really doesn't

802
00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:34,319
Speaker 1: like who I am and what I do. And that's

803
00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:36,360
Speaker 1: where we were at that time, and you know, asking

804
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:38,600
Speaker 1: those guys, I'm like, wow, and I'm not saying it

805
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:40,160
Speaker 1: doesn't go the other way because we can do the

806
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:42,640
Speaker 1: same thing to our wives. But what Anne was saying

807
00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:46,840
Speaker 1: there was negativity that I felt, and again and again.

808
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:48,800
Speaker 1: I think it's one of the reasons I spent a

809
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:50,960
Speaker 1: lot of the time at work. It's like there they

810
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:53,960
Speaker 1: were cheering me. Here I come home and I feel

811
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,200
Speaker 1: like she's booing me. And you know, working for the

812
00:42:56,239 --> 00:42:58,759
Speaker 1: Detroit Lions, we got boot a lot, so you don't

813
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:02,320
Speaker 1: want to come home to stuff. B Yeah. So anyway,

814
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:04,600
Speaker 1: I asked God, like, God, is that true? Do I

815
00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:06,919
Speaker 1: boo David? I felt like he was saying, yeah, you

816
00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:10,400
Speaker 1: you really do boo everybody in the house. You know,

817
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:13,279
Speaker 1: as a mom, you're disciplining, your training your kids, you're

818
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:17,120
Speaker 1: teaching them. But I realized, man, what I've been thinking

819
00:43:17,239 --> 00:43:19,400
Speaker 1: is coming out of my mouth. So I started listening

820
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:22,120
Speaker 1: to the words that I speak, like, oh, I am

821
00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:25,160
Speaker 1: super negative to everybody, Like I feel like I'm the

822
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:27,920
Speaker 1: I'm the person that's going to save the day and

823
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:31,200
Speaker 1: fix everyone. And I also felt like, why would I

824
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:35,720
Speaker 1: cheer Dave. If I cheer him, He'll think I'm happy

825
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:44,440
Speaker 1: and satisfied and that will enable Yes, it will enable

826
00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:48,920
Speaker 1: him to think to stay the same. So I said,

827
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:52,120
Speaker 1: all right, God, I'm gonna try this. And so this

828
00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:55,080
Speaker 1: one night we're having dinner, and this is new for me.

829
00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:57,719
Speaker 1: I had never really cheered for Dave, Like what does

830
00:43:57,719 --> 00:44:00,560
Speaker 1: that even mean? You know? So before we started eating,

831
00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:02,600
Speaker 1: our kids very younger, and I said, hey, you guys,

832
00:44:02,719 --> 00:44:05,799
Speaker 1: before we start eating, I just want to say, Dave,

833
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:09,319
Speaker 1: thank you for working so hard, like you kick butt man,

834
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:12,279
Speaker 1: You get stuff done, you provide for our family. You

835
00:44:12,360 --> 00:44:15,319
Speaker 1: work hard. You're a great dad, your great husband. So

836
00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:17,640
Speaker 1: and you know our kids are like can we eat?

837
00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:23,000
Speaker 1: And I'll never forget that night. I mean literally, I

838
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:25,279
Speaker 1: was looking at her like, what are you doing? She's

839
00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:29,640
Speaker 1: you haven't said this ever, and I and I knew

840
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:33,560
Speaker 1: right behind her on the kitchen hutch is Emerson's book

841
00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:37,319
Speaker 1: Love and Respect, Like I know what she's doing. She

842
00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:39,359
Speaker 1: read it in the book. And all I can tell

843
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:42,120
Speaker 1: you is it didn't matter. It felt so stinking good.

844
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:45,160
Speaker 1: I was like, wow, I've made my chest sort of

845
00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:46,799
Speaker 1: popped out, and I'm like, hey, I'm a good man.

846
00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:49,080
Speaker 1: I didn't I didn't say that, but that's what it

847
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 1: felt like. It was like, Wow, this this cheering, this

848
00:44:52,719 --> 00:44:56,160
Speaker 1: respect thing, brought life to me and all I can

849
00:44:56,200 --> 00:44:58,439
Speaker 1: tell you now, and it's a long time ago. She

850
00:44:58,760 --> 00:45:01,640
Speaker 1: is my biggest cheerleader. She it's amazing. She cheers me

851
00:45:01,719 --> 00:45:04,480
Speaker 1: every day. She says I'm a good man. At first

852
00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:06,000
Speaker 1: I didn't believe her and I thought she was lying.

853
00:45:06,160 --> 00:45:09,200
Speaker 1: Now I believe her. I think she really thinks that

854
00:45:09,320 --> 00:45:11,719
Speaker 1: about me, and it has motivated me to become a

855
00:45:11,719 --> 00:45:15,279
Speaker 1: better man than I actually was. And I think that

856
00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:17,920
Speaker 1: just works for our kids, it works for our spouse

857
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:21,239
Speaker 1: both ways. Um, when you're negative, it just sort of

858
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:23,520
Speaker 1: pulls people away and they sort of become what you

859
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:26,360
Speaker 1: negatively say they are when you're positive. And again, I know,

860
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:29,200
Speaker 1: and I know it sounds crazy. It's like she was saying,

861
00:45:29,239 --> 00:45:31,480
Speaker 1: I'm this man up here and I'm feeling like I'm

862
00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:33,600
Speaker 1: not that good, but I wanted to become the man

863
00:45:33,719 --> 00:45:36,880
Speaker 1: she said I was, and I started to change for

864
00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:40,160
Speaker 1: the better. Well, I think that's just really important. Understand now.

865
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:42,920
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean you don't ever stay negative things or

866
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:46,720
Speaker 1: hard things. And I feel like, oh am, I supposed

867
00:45:46,719 --> 00:45:49,839
Speaker 1: to not ever speak truth, but I still do. But

868
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:54,080
Speaker 1: I've I've already made so many deposits of speaking like

869
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:58,359
Speaker 1: and positive that then the negative. I feel like Dave

870
00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:01,480
Speaker 1: really receives them in a different way. And I believe me.

871
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:03,320
Speaker 1: I've had women come up to me. This one woman

872
00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:06,719
Speaker 1: came up. She goes, so you're telling me that I

873
00:46:06,760 --> 00:46:11,640
Speaker 1: need to lie, I just need to be an actress

874
00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:14,640
Speaker 1: and pretend that my husband's great because there's really nothing

875
00:46:14,719 --> 00:46:17,600
Speaker 1: to cheer. And I think a lot of women feel

876
00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:19,400
Speaker 1: like that, Like if you knew who I was married to,

877
00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:23,279
Speaker 1: there's really not anything there. And I usually say, go

878
00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:26,120
Speaker 1: back to why you married him. There's usually something that

879
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:30,440
Speaker 1: you saw. And honestly, I didn't realize how deep down

880
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 1: how insecure most men are and how they need it.

881
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:39,000
Speaker 1: I've we've raised three sons, and I'm amazed of the

882
00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:41,799
Speaker 1: power we have as women. This is going back to

883
00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:44,920
Speaker 1: your original question. I wish I had known that, like

884
00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:47,680
Speaker 1: for you guys, as a young couple, the power that

885
00:46:47,760 --> 00:46:50,960
Speaker 1: we have as women to speak life like the Bible

886
00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:54,520
Speaker 1: says that the power, the power of life and death

887
00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:57,800
Speaker 1: is in our tongue, and man, I think I used

888
00:46:57,800 --> 00:47:01,760
Speaker 1: my tongue to really I feel like I lacerated Dave

889
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:05,080
Speaker 1: in a lot of ways, and in our boys thinking

890
00:47:05,160 --> 00:47:07,520
Speaker 1: they're so strong, they're so big, it's not going to

891
00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:10,160
Speaker 1: hurt them. But I wish that I would have realized

892
00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:13,040
Speaker 1: back then, Man, I have great power and influence. I

893
00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:16,720
Speaker 1: see it in our sons and their wives. Their wives

894
00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:19,759
Speaker 1: can look at them and I can see that it

895
00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:23,080
Speaker 1: destroys them with a look. With that look, and men

896
00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:25,279
Speaker 1: do the same thing back to women. It just the

897
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:29,080
Speaker 1: nonverbals can destroy us. So I felt like so often

898
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:31,960
Speaker 1: I was powerless and I didn't have a say, Man,

899
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:35,160
Speaker 1: I have we have as women so much? I would

900
00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:37,320
Speaker 1: just add this, I've watched, like I said, I've watched

901
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:40,359
Speaker 1: and start to She's been doing it for twenty years,

902
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:43,440
Speaker 1: speaking life to me, to our sons. She doesn't to

903
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:46,719
Speaker 1: people in the grocery store. It's crazy. She is a

904
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:50,360
Speaker 1: life giver. So I mean part of that's like she

905
00:47:50,520 --> 00:47:52,839
Speaker 1: wasn't that way before. So it isn't like like if

906
00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:55,160
Speaker 1: you're listening and thinking, I can't change an. I had

907
00:47:55,200 --> 00:47:57,959
Speaker 1: to train my brain. Here's how I started. God, show

908
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:00,960
Speaker 1: me the greatness in Dave. Only show many of the

909
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:02,960
Speaker 1: good things you put in him, show him, Show me

910
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:04,960
Speaker 1: the good things you put in our kids. And now

911
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:06,960
Speaker 1: you know because she so, I think her next, I

912
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:09,799
Speaker 1: think our next book should be her writing to wives

913
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:13,560
Speaker 1: about the power they have. UM, but women and especially

914
00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:15,880
Speaker 1: reach out to us on our social media Dave and

915
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:20,120
Speaker 1: Wilson or whatever. And I've watched and train other wives

916
00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:22,960
Speaker 1: just like she's doing now, and it changes her marriage.

917
00:48:23,280 --> 00:48:24,760
Speaker 1: And I try to do the same thing with guys.

918
00:48:25,239 --> 00:48:31,480
Speaker 1: You guys, we have a I have a best friend, Michelle,

919
00:48:31,520 --> 00:48:34,600
Speaker 1: and her husband was traveling all the time when we

920
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:37,600
Speaker 1: were walking like six miles a day and just complaining

921
00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:42,799
Speaker 1: basically about our husband's and UM and so I was

922
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:45,200
Speaker 1: kind of sharing with her the journey I was on,

923
00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:48,360
Speaker 1: and she goes, oh my gosh, I'm gonna totally do something.

924
00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:51,880
Speaker 1: So she got this journal out and she started. Every

925
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:55,000
Speaker 1: time her husband did something right, she would journal about

926
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:57,440
Speaker 1: it and put it in this book. And then on

927
00:48:57,560 --> 00:49:01,600
Speaker 1: his birthday, she gave him this journal of all these things.

928
00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:04,839
Speaker 1: And I'll give you an example, like, um, hey, Rob,

929
00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:07,120
Speaker 1: thanks that you put the Christmas lights out on the

930
00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:09,880
Speaker 1: tree this year outside. I know you hate it. We

931
00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:12,239
Speaker 1: live in Michigan. It's freezing cold, and I know you

932
00:49:12,239 --> 00:49:14,160
Speaker 1: would never do it, but you do it for me

933
00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:16,640
Speaker 1: and I it really means a lot. Thanks for being

934
00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:19,200
Speaker 1: a great husband. Something like that are you making it

935
00:49:19,239 --> 00:49:21,520
Speaker 1: to a kids soccer game. So she gives him this

936
00:49:21,640 --> 00:49:25,920
Speaker 1: journal on his birthday and it's has a lot of little, little,

937
00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:31,040
Speaker 1: tiny entries. He sat there and cried, like cried hard

938
00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:35,640
Speaker 1: reading it, and she said, I had no idea that

939
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:38,520
Speaker 1: those words would mean so much to him. I mean,

940
00:49:38,560 --> 00:49:41,120
Speaker 1: we really are a little boys. We are we are

941
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:44,160
Speaker 1: We're so much more sensitive than society has painted us

942
00:49:44,200 --> 00:49:47,000
Speaker 1: to be. And that's what I've told Janna, because I'll

943
00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:50,400
Speaker 1: take a lot of things personal, you know, almost to

944
00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:54,840
Speaker 1: a fault. But I'm like, we are sensitive. I'm extremely sensitive.

945
00:49:54,880 --> 00:49:57,400
Speaker 1: And so that's why that Love and Respect book hit

946
00:49:57,400 --> 00:49:59,000
Speaker 1: me a lot too. And then what you guys talk

947
00:49:59,080 --> 00:50:01,800
Speaker 1: about and the power of the words that you're saying

948
00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:05,440
Speaker 1: and that women have is not to be taken lightly

949
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:09,120
Speaker 1: because you guys, do you women have so much power

950
00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:12,360
Speaker 1: in your words. Because I feel like there's a difference

951
00:50:12,360 --> 00:50:18,640
Speaker 1: between codependency and then just uh, the respect and love

952
00:50:18,680 --> 00:50:21,640
Speaker 1: you have for your partner's words, right, And so it

953
00:50:21,680 --> 00:50:24,759
Speaker 1: doesn't mean you're codependent if your partner's words affect you

954
00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:28,560
Speaker 1: in a negative or extremely positive way. I know, Janet,

955
00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:30,600
Speaker 1: I mean, just you the story, You're just saying, and

956
00:50:30,760 --> 00:50:33,160
Speaker 1: I mean, give me like goose bumps to even think

957
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:36,240
Speaker 1: about that, because I know I would just break down

958
00:50:36,239 --> 00:50:41,320
Speaker 1: and cry if I if I read something like that. Yeah,

959
00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:43,839
Speaker 1: I mean we long to because he's looking at him

960
00:50:43,920 --> 00:50:45,960
Speaker 1: right now, I'm like what I was thinking. I'm like,

961
00:50:46,680 --> 00:50:49,400
Speaker 1: so like I would the wife would too, because I

962
00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:52,480
Speaker 1: feel like sometimes we don't get this, you know. It's

963
00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:56,840
Speaker 1: like the words too back. I'm like, you're the words

964
00:50:56,880 --> 00:50:59,520
Speaker 1: affect me more than anything, like the actions of what

965
00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:02,839
Speaker 1: you've done. The words are like what still sit with me?

966
00:51:02,920 --> 00:51:04,440
Speaker 1: You know. So it's like it's that same thing. I

967
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:08,480
Speaker 1: was like, okay to feel so appreciated, you know. It's

968
00:51:08,520 --> 00:51:11,000
Speaker 1: like I think women want to feel appreciated and you know,

969
00:51:11,080 --> 00:51:13,359
Speaker 1: and like yeah, like the scene and like I was like, wow,

970
00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:17,120
Speaker 1: that'd be really freaking cool too. I think that's the word.

971
00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:20,440
Speaker 1: We want to all be seen. And I think that.

972
00:51:20,760 --> 00:51:23,680
Speaker 1: I think I was surprised in marriage, especially younger, how

973
00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:27,839
Speaker 1: lonely you can feel in and I had to learn,

974
00:51:27,880 --> 00:51:30,840
Speaker 1: I mean, and would forever tell me that my words

975
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:34,919
Speaker 1: were harsh, and I would roll my eyes and make

976
00:51:34,960 --> 00:51:39,040
Speaker 1: her feel belittled and stupid, and I always thought, what

977
00:51:39,080 --> 00:51:41,759
Speaker 1: are you talking? About well there, it is just the

978
00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:45,239
Speaker 1: way I said that is harsh and demeaning, and I

979
00:51:45,280 --> 00:51:47,800
Speaker 1: had to realize that what Janna, what you just said.

980
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:52,759
Speaker 1: She longs to feel treasured and cherished, and even a

981
00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:57,400
Speaker 1: tone can do the opposite. So my tone being tender

982
00:51:57,440 --> 00:52:02,320
Speaker 1: and appreciative and affirming again, speaking life instead of death

983
00:52:03,400 --> 00:52:07,200
Speaker 1: is really on me in our marriage to build her up.

984
00:52:07,360 --> 00:52:09,480
Speaker 1: I mean, we're talking about how man needs to respect,

985
00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:14,840
Speaker 1: but a woman longs to be cherished and different for

986
00:52:14,960 --> 00:52:17,560
Speaker 1: all of us, whatever you're saying, Jan yours is words

987
00:52:17,600 --> 00:52:22,280
Speaker 1: that's huge for you. Now, let's transition that into y'all's

988
00:52:22,400 --> 00:52:24,680
Speaker 1: y'all's new book, No Perfect Parents, because I think that's

989
00:52:24,680 --> 00:52:26,520
Speaker 1: a good point in that you're talking about, just like

990
00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:29,080
Speaker 1: the power that especially the mom's, like y'all's voice that

991
00:52:29,120 --> 00:52:31,759
Speaker 1: you have so tell us about no Perfect parents and

992
00:52:31,800 --> 00:52:34,400
Speaker 1: like what we can expect when we read that. Mhm.

993
00:52:35,160 --> 00:52:37,080
Speaker 1: It's interesting. I do have a chapter in there just

994
00:52:37,160 --> 00:52:43,040
Speaker 1: about identity of um it's really seeing who your kids are.

995
00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:45,840
Speaker 1: Is this it interesting? You guys have a son and daughter.

996
00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:50,359
Speaker 1: Are they totally different? Yes? So different? Is it crazy?

997
00:52:50,719 --> 00:52:52,440
Speaker 1: And I think one of the great things for me

998
00:52:52,600 --> 00:52:55,239
Speaker 1: was having three kids, and they're three boys, and yet

999
00:52:55,280 --> 00:52:58,759
Speaker 1: they're so different from one another. So I think it

1000
00:52:58,880 --> 00:53:01,560
Speaker 1: was really great for me to see, like who has

1001
00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:04,040
Speaker 1: God made them to be? I think so many parents

1002
00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:06,960
Speaker 1: try to shape them into who they want them to be.

1003
00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:09,560
Speaker 1: But I don't know if you guys seen this, they're

1004
00:53:09,560 --> 00:53:13,759
Speaker 1: already kind of molded. You know, they're already have this

1005
00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:17,560
Speaker 1: bent in them. Um. The Bible says train up a

1006
00:53:17,640 --> 00:53:20,800
Speaker 1: child and the way he is formed, and when he's older,

1007
00:53:20,840 --> 00:53:25,719
Speaker 1: he won't depart from it. And that formed part it means, like,

1008
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:29,560
Speaker 1: how are they already formed? We can help guide them,

1009
00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:33,279
Speaker 1: but like we have kids ones this techie kid, and

1010
00:53:33,560 --> 00:53:37,600
Speaker 1: ones this artistic guy, and another one's this leader. So

1011
00:53:37,800 --> 00:53:40,520
Speaker 1: kind of seeing the greatness and our kids and pulling

1012
00:53:40,560 --> 00:53:44,919
Speaker 1: that out and kind of honing that and developing their

1013
00:53:44,920 --> 00:53:48,680
Speaker 1: gifts and strengths. But also that as we were in

1014
00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:52,080
Speaker 1: talking about words of Life, I think our oldest, I

1015
00:53:52,080 --> 00:53:55,520
Speaker 1: mean our youngest was um, he was going to school

1016
00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:58,040
Speaker 1: on a full ride and I remember it was his

1017
00:53:58,120 --> 00:54:00,880
Speaker 1: senior year in the spring, and I said, man, I

1018
00:54:00,920 --> 00:54:03,920
Speaker 1: can't wait to see what happens for you in college.

1019
00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:07,080
Speaker 1: You're you're such a great leader when you talk you

1020
00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:09,440
Speaker 1: inspire people. I feel like you're going to have an

1021
00:54:09,440 --> 00:54:12,359
Speaker 1: impact wherever you go. And so I'm just kind of

1022
00:54:12,400 --> 00:54:15,759
Speaker 1: speaking like, this is what you're so good at. And

1023
00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:17,879
Speaker 1: so he's like, whatever, mom. You know. He goes to bed,

1024
00:54:17,920 --> 00:54:20,279
Speaker 1: this eighteen year old, and he comes back in the

1025
00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:24,000
Speaker 1: room and he goes mom, and he's crying, and I said,

1026
00:54:24,040 --> 00:54:27,360
Speaker 1: what happened? He goes, Mom, all that stuff you said,

1027
00:54:27,560 --> 00:54:29,880
Speaker 1: I am none of that. I am none of that.

1028
00:54:30,640 --> 00:54:32,000
Speaker 1: And I said, and you know that. I'm like, no,

1029
00:54:32,160 --> 00:54:34,640
Speaker 1: you are that and he goes, no, I got so

1030
00:54:34,719 --> 00:54:38,319
Speaker 1: wasted last weekend, mom, and you didn't even know what that.

1031
00:54:38,560 --> 00:54:41,720
Speaker 1: He goes, That's who I am, Mom, That's who I am.

1032
00:54:41,760 --> 00:54:45,000
Speaker 1: And I said, that may be what you did last weekend,

1033
00:54:45,480 --> 00:54:49,200
Speaker 1: but that's not who you are. And I think, especially

1034
00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:51,920
Speaker 1: with our kids in this day and age where they

1035
00:54:52,280 --> 00:54:54,920
Speaker 1: have so much being pushed at them, of this is

1036
00:54:54,920 --> 00:54:56,960
Speaker 1: who you are, I think we need to remind our

1037
00:54:57,040 --> 00:55:00,759
Speaker 1: kids no, like you're this great master, he's that God

1038
00:55:00,840 --> 00:55:04,440
Speaker 1: has made. Find out how God has made you, and

1039
00:55:04,480 --> 00:55:07,359
Speaker 1: then to speak to kind of help your kids know

1040
00:55:07,440 --> 00:55:09,359
Speaker 1: who that is. And I would add I think it's

1041
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:12,440
Speaker 1: really important for us as parents to do it. Because

1042
00:55:12,480 --> 00:55:16,319
Speaker 1: outside our home, they're gonna be torn down. You know,

1043
00:55:16,440 --> 00:55:18,680
Speaker 1: not that the culture is terrible, but you know other

1044
00:55:18,760 --> 00:55:21,680
Speaker 1: people out there trying to build themselves up because they're insecure.

1045
00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:24,320
Speaker 1: So they're gonna do that by turning down our kids,

1046
00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:27,600
Speaker 1: cutting them down, whatever. And so we hope that our home,

1047
00:55:27,640 --> 00:55:29,840
Speaker 1: and we have a chapter called make Your Home BEHN

1048
00:55:30,440 --> 00:55:33,280
Speaker 1: is a place where our kids feel like at this place,

1049
00:55:33,320 --> 00:55:37,560
Speaker 1: at this house, at this home, I'm seeing, I'm believed in,

1050
00:55:38,640 --> 00:55:41,640
Speaker 1: I feel safe. You know, it's like out there, it's

1051
00:55:41,680 --> 00:55:44,200
Speaker 1: like swirling around and they walk in here and again

1052
00:55:44,239 --> 00:55:46,560
Speaker 1: it's not perfect. That's why we called it no perfect parents.

1053
00:55:46,560 --> 00:55:49,120
Speaker 1: We're not perfect. Our kids are our parents perfect. Nobody is,

1054
00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:51,200
Speaker 1: but a sense that they when they walk in, they

1055
00:55:51,239 --> 00:55:54,879
Speaker 1: feel like, here I'm life is given to me. It's

1056
00:55:54,880 --> 00:55:57,719
Speaker 1: almost like a recharge of their batteries to go back out.

1057
00:55:58,160 --> 00:56:00,919
Speaker 1: But there's a place where two people or mom or dad,

1058
00:56:00,960 --> 00:56:04,080
Speaker 1: a single mom, single or whatever the situation is, they

1059
00:56:04,120 --> 00:56:07,440
Speaker 1: see me, they believe in me. They're speaking life into me.

1060
00:56:07,520 --> 00:56:10,440
Speaker 1: And again they're not speaking life apart from who I am.

1061
00:56:10,480 --> 00:56:13,600
Speaker 1: They're speaking no, I understand who God's made you to be.

1062
00:56:13,719 --> 00:56:17,080
Speaker 1: Your unique gifts and I'm gonna celebrate that who you

1063
00:56:17,120 --> 00:56:20,319
Speaker 1: are not who I want you just to be for sure.

1064
00:56:20,320 --> 00:56:22,160
Speaker 1: And I'm excited to read this and I want to

1065
00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:25,120
Speaker 1: get through it because chapter eleven is my top five

1066
00:56:25,360 --> 00:56:27,719
Speaker 1: parenting mistakes, so I want to I want to make

1067
00:56:27,760 --> 00:56:30,040
Speaker 1: sure because I'm always like, how do I not mess

1068
00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:32,000
Speaker 1: up my kids? So I'm trying to like read like

1069
00:56:32,520 --> 00:56:34,400
Speaker 1: what do I do to not mess up my kids?

1070
00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:36,799
Speaker 1: So I'm I'm excited really to read this because even

1071
00:56:36,960 --> 00:56:41,400
Speaker 1: in your prologue, it's as a ditch expectations, embrace reality

1072
00:56:41,400 --> 00:56:44,360
Speaker 1: and discover that the one secret that will change your parenting.

1073
00:56:44,440 --> 00:56:45,759
Speaker 1: So I'm like when I read that, I was like,

1074
00:56:46,239 --> 00:56:48,239
Speaker 1: what's the secret? What's the secret? What's the secret? Where

1075
00:56:48,280 --> 00:56:51,080
Speaker 1: is that? To highlight it, like like I'm like, where

1076
00:56:51,120 --> 00:56:53,400
Speaker 1: is it? So, um, everyone makes sure to get No

1077
00:56:53,480 --> 00:56:55,839
Speaker 1: Perfect Parents, and then when you're when you're checking out,

1078
00:56:55,880 --> 00:56:57,799
Speaker 1: to make sure to get Vertical Marriage because that's the

1079
00:56:57,800 --> 00:57:01,200
Speaker 1: book that we were also talking about early here. I

1080
00:57:01,280 --> 00:57:03,920
Speaker 1: love it all, Dave and Anne. We appreciate your time

1081
00:57:04,080 --> 00:57:06,880
Speaker 1: and we feel so privileged to talk to you all,

1082
00:57:07,239 --> 00:57:09,120
Speaker 1: and we'd love to have you guys back on once

1083
00:57:09,200 --> 00:57:12,000
Speaker 1: we read No Perfect Parents. Because we'll have another page

1084
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:15,799
Speaker 1: full of notes to talk about that and have you

1085
00:57:15,880 --> 00:57:17,880
Speaker 1: give us all the answers to how to do that.

1086
00:57:18,080 --> 00:57:21,280
Speaker 1: So what you guys are really really good at what

1087
00:57:21,320 --> 00:57:24,520
Speaker 1: you do. You really are. Thank you so much, Thank

1088
00:57:24,560 --> 00:57:28,040
Speaker 1: you so much, so many in a positive way. So

1089
00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:30,160
Speaker 1: I mean, we do it. You probably know this, but

1090
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:32,880
Speaker 1: we do a radio show on a podcast that's daily.

1091
00:57:33,520 --> 00:57:36,880
Speaker 1: So we're sitting where you are, asking questions and you

1092
00:57:36,880 --> 00:57:39,880
Speaker 1: know it's not easy, and you guys are great. Thank

1093
00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:42,960
Speaker 1: you were trying to, you know, learn from our mistakes

1094
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:48,320
Speaker 1: and continue to keep growing um. But hopefully we'll we'll

1095
00:57:48,360 --> 00:57:52,880
Speaker 1: still be there in a couple of years. Okay, where

1096
00:57:52,880 --> 00:57:57,760
Speaker 1: can our listeners find David an uh simply Dave and

1097
00:57:58,040 --> 00:58:03,280
Speaker 1: Wilson and with no e just Van Wilson on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook,

1098
00:58:03,800 --> 00:58:06,080
Speaker 1: you name it, or we have a YouTube page where

1099
00:58:07,080 --> 00:58:09,560
Speaker 1: you know, our videos of us doing marriage conferences and

1100
00:58:09,600 --> 00:58:12,360
Speaker 1: retreats and talking about marriage and family and parenting are

1101
00:58:12,400 --> 00:58:15,280
Speaker 1: there and if they want Family Life Today is our

1102
00:58:15,360 --> 00:58:18,600
Speaker 1: radio show. It's on syndicated radio stations around the country

1103
00:58:18,680 --> 00:58:22,040
Speaker 1: and just listen to as a podcast. People listen and

1104
00:58:22,080 --> 00:58:26,760
Speaker 1: it's all on marriage, family, parenting. Wonderful Davin, and thank

1105
00:58:26,800 --> 00:58:29,000
Speaker 1: you guys so much, really appreciate it. Thank you guys,

1106
00:58:29,080 --> 00:58:44,880
Speaker 1: thank you, bye you guys. They were so awesome. We've

1107
00:58:44,920 --> 00:58:47,160
Speaker 1: been so excited and looking forward to having them on

1108
00:58:47,240 --> 00:58:50,360
Speaker 1: for for such a long time. And I just love

1109
00:58:50,400 --> 00:58:52,080
Speaker 1: what kind of what they're saying at the end about

1110
00:58:52,720 --> 00:58:55,360
Speaker 1: having your home be a safe haven, right because like

1111
00:58:55,440 --> 00:58:57,400
Speaker 1: as soon as the kids live here, they do so

1112
00:58:57,480 --> 00:59:01,680
Speaker 1: much adversity and issues and both teasing or whatever. It

1113
00:59:01,840 --> 00:59:04,120
Speaker 1: is like I never want our kids to have fear

1114
00:59:04,160 --> 00:59:07,360
Speaker 1: coming home. Well that and fear and you know us

1115
00:59:07,400 --> 00:59:09,920
Speaker 1: together too. So it's like like that's why it's so

1116
00:59:09,960 --> 00:59:12,000
Speaker 1: important to like have like a healthy marriage or on

1117
00:59:12,040 --> 00:59:16,240
Speaker 1: your kids and to keep working together. So it's just

1118
00:59:16,400 --> 00:59:20,880
Speaker 1: both books, you know kind of um yeah so yeah,

1119
00:59:20,920 --> 00:59:25,360
Speaker 1: so no no perfect parents and vertical marriage. David Ann

1120
00:59:25,400 --> 00:59:29,840
Speaker 1: Wilson amazing, amazing people go get their books. Well, I

1121
00:59:29,880 --> 00:59:35,680
Speaker 1: guess that is uh, that's the show. Someone's in the

1122
00:59:35,680 --> 00:59:40,480
Speaker 1: waiting room back in again. Another surprising guest that maybe

1123
00:59:40,480 --> 00:59:42,320
Speaker 1: the same one from earlier. Let's bring it right now,

1124
00:59:45,720 --> 00:59:50,120
Speaker 1: just kidding, guys. We wouldn't end the show without um

1125
00:59:50,320 --> 00:59:55,040
Speaker 1: one last rumor mill that has been out and we've

1126
00:59:55,080 --> 00:59:58,400
Speaker 1: been peppered about that we've been I think I got

1127
00:59:58,400 --> 01:00:02,320
Speaker 1: like five text messages even I had buddies calling and

1128
01:00:02,400 --> 01:00:06,080
Speaker 1: texting me trying to get validation if it was true

1129
01:00:06,120 --> 01:00:08,280
Speaker 1: or false. There we are, So the Queen of all

1130
01:00:08,360 --> 01:00:12,320
Speaker 1: things Housewives is back because you need to, I guess,

1131
01:00:12,360 --> 01:00:15,600
Speaker 1: ask us a question of a rumor that's been going around.

1132
01:00:16,040 --> 01:00:18,400
Speaker 1: So when you started off with me like there's a

1133
01:00:18,480 --> 01:00:21,360
Speaker 1: rumor going around the internet, and I'm like, really, because

1134
01:00:22,040 --> 01:00:25,000
Speaker 1: I know the big rumor going around the internet. Now

1135
01:00:25,240 --> 01:00:28,320
Speaker 1: I just have to come out and ask you because

1136
01:00:28,320 --> 01:00:30,600
Speaker 1: I have my theories and I think I know. But

1137
01:00:31,400 --> 01:00:37,280
Speaker 1: are you guys filming the Real Housewives of Nashville? No?

1138
01:00:37,640 --> 01:00:42,560
Speaker 1: But are okay, we are not filming the real house

1139
01:00:42,640 --> 01:00:46,000
Speaker 1: of of of Nashville. We got asked to do a

1140
01:00:46,080 --> 01:00:50,280
Speaker 1: Real Houses of Nashville, um, and we said no like

1141
01:00:50,640 --> 01:00:55,240
Speaker 1: three times because you know me, like, I don't know

1142
01:00:55,880 --> 01:00:58,200
Speaker 1: much about the housewives. And the only reason I kind

1143
01:00:58,200 --> 01:01:01,320
Speaker 1: of entertained the one with Ted was because it could

1144
01:01:01,320 --> 01:01:03,440
Speaker 1: be fun to be like someone's like kind of sidekick,

1145
01:01:03,560 --> 01:01:06,560
Speaker 1: fun buddy that just kind of comes in the friend

1146
01:01:06,600 --> 01:01:09,760
Speaker 1: of the friend of Yeah, but to be when they

1147
01:01:10,200 --> 01:01:13,520
Speaker 1: were trying to cast the Real Housewives of Nashville, and

1148
01:01:13,560 --> 01:01:16,080
Speaker 1: they wanted they were interested in me as one of

1149
01:01:16,120 --> 01:01:20,440
Speaker 1: the characters. I was just like, no, like I you

1150
01:01:20,480 --> 01:01:23,520
Speaker 1: know me, Like I don't like girl drama. I don't.

1151
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:25,240
Speaker 1: I don't want to be a part of it. I

1152
01:01:25,240 --> 01:01:27,400
Speaker 1: don't want to feed into it. I don't want to

1153
01:01:27,480 --> 01:01:29,840
Speaker 1: like I don't even want to be the runt of

1154
01:01:29,880 --> 01:01:31,640
Speaker 1: it where I like to make the girls felt like

1155
01:01:31,680 --> 01:01:34,160
Speaker 1: I just I don't. It's not me. I don't like

1156
01:01:34,280 --> 01:01:37,959
Speaker 1: it and it's not my it's not I can't stress enough,

1157
01:01:38,080 --> 01:01:41,440
Speaker 1: like when my I can't imagine yours because my d

1158
01:01:41,600 --> 01:01:43,640
Speaker 1: ms were flooded, and like I want to try back

1159
01:01:43,640 --> 01:01:46,520
Speaker 1: and be like I mean, off the top of my

1160
01:01:46,560 --> 01:01:50,560
Speaker 1: head no, because like it's so not you. But reality

1161
01:01:50,600 --> 01:01:53,919
Speaker 1: TV is you just not that kind? Yeah, so what

1162
01:01:53,960 --> 01:02:00,640
Speaker 1: it is is that what it is. So look, we

1163
01:02:00,720 --> 01:02:04,520
Speaker 1: are not saying no to reality TV. We know a

1164
01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:08,200
Speaker 1: lot of people have asked us to do a reality show.

1165
01:02:09,080 --> 01:02:11,280
Speaker 1: It's just about what kind of show it is, because

1166
01:02:11,280 --> 01:02:14,280
Speaker 1: I don't want it to be the like girls, you know,

1167
01:02:14,360 --> 01:02:16,439
Speaker 1: I don't want it to be like attacking girls. I'm

1168
01:02:16,480 --> 01:02:19,920
Speaker 1: fine with them coming in seeing our marriage, you know,

1169
01:02:20,080 --> 01:02:22,080
Speaker 1: the ins and outs and then how we kind of

1170
01:02:22,240 --> 01:02:25,760
Speaker 1: work through it and but still showing the drama. So

1171
01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:30,960
Speaker 1: we did film something, and you know, it's just a presentation.

1172
01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:33,040
Speaker 1: I don't know if he'll ever get picked up. And again,

1173
01:02:33,080 --> 01:02:35,120
Speaker 1: I don't even know if that's something that at the

1174
01:02:35,240 --> 01:02:37,520
Speaker 1: end of the day, if we will really do, because

1175
01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:41,000
Speaker 1: it's that's a you know, I mean, I know, I

1176
01:02:41,000 --> 01:02:43,000
Speaker 1: know we share so much on the podcast and so

1177
01:02:43,080 --> 01:02:46,439
Speaker 1: much here, but it could it's sometimes it's a kiss

1178
01:02:46,440 --> 01:02:48,560
Speaker 1: of death. So that's something that we have to also

1179
01:02:48,720 --> 01:02:53,720
Speaker 1: think about and you know, be careful of because we

1180
01:02:53,800 --> 01:02:57,280
Speaker 1: are like trying. You know, it's scary, it's a lot.

1181
01:02:57,320 --> 01:02:59,280
Speaker 1: And I also feel like depending on like you know,

1182
01:02:59,320 --> 01:03:01,400
Speaker 1: like you said, who picks it up, what network kind

1183
01:03:01,400 --> 01:03:03,000
Speaker 1: of shapes the way it goes in, Like is it

1184
01:03:03,040 --> 01:03:06,520
Speaker 1: going to be a fun couples series where this or that,

1185
01:03:06,680 --> 01:03:09,800
Speaker 1: or is it going to be like drama drama drama? Yeah,

1186
01:03:10,080 --> 01:03:12,400
Speaker 1: because again, like we're fine sharing our fights and stuff

1187
01:03:12,440 --> 01:03:14,680
Speaker 1: on here, but in front of millions when we're still

1188
01:03:14,720 --> 01:03:17,040
Speaker 1: trying to be like because our whole thing too is

1189
01:03:17,480 --> 01:03:20,320
Speaker 1: yes we have issues, No we're not perfect, but this

1190
01:03:20,400 --> 01:03:23,600
Speaker 1: is how we're getting through it. And I don't know

1191
01:03:23,640 --> 01:03:25,800
Speaker 1: if they would show that side of like this is

1192
01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:28,240
Speaker 1: how we're getting through it. And I'm sick of already

1193
01:03:28,280 --> 01:03:30,200
Speaker 1: the comments about how much wear train wreck, So I'm like,

1194
01:03:30,240 --> 01:03:32,320
Speaker 1: I don't want to read even more. And Sarah, I

1195
01:03:32,440 --> 01:03:35,480
Speaker 1: was when we were filming the thing, I kept asking

1196
01:03:35,520 --> 01:03:37,680
Speaker 1: the producers and cameraman if we could turn it into

1197
01:03:37,680 --> 01:03:40,439
Speaker 1: a mockumentary so I can start looking at the camera

1198
01:03:40,520 --> 01:03:43,960
Speaker 1: like Jim in the office. I kept doing it, and

1199
01:03:44,600 --> 01:03:48,040
Speaker 1: you weren't having I was just like They're like, um no,

1200
01:03:48,760 --> 01:03:51,680
Speaker 1: the camera, we can't use it, like pretend we're not here.

1201
01:03:51,680 --> 01:03:55,600
Speaker 1: I'm like, my bad wanted to so bad, so they

1202
01:03:55,640 --> 01:03:58,840
Speaker 1: wanted They filmed kind of like a fight of ours,

1203
01:03:58,880 --> 01:04:01,080
Speaker 1: like what a fight would look like. And it was

1204
01:04:01,160 --> 01:04:04,919
Speaker 1: so funny because Mike was like, so they're like, hey,

1205
01:04:05,240 --> 01:04:08,680
Speaker 1: go in and you know, um, you know kind of

1206
01:04:09,280 --> 01:04:10,880
Speaker 1: you know, poke a little bit. So I'm like, okay,

1207
01:04:10,840 --> 01:04:14,320
Speaker 1: I got this. You're like easy, yeah, done, Okay. So

1208
01:04:14,360 --> 01:04:22,960
Speaker 1: I go in and I'm like, hey, so we walk

1209
01:04:23,000 --> 01:04:25,240
Speaker 1: in or I walk in, and it was about like

1210
01:04:25,280 --> 01:04:27,080
Speaker 1: kind of him leaving the golf trips. I'm like, hey,

1211
01:04:27,120 --> 01:04:29,120
Speaker 1: like are we are we clear with all the boundaries

1212
01:04:29,160 --> 01:04:33,400
Speaker 1: and stuff and you know. Mike's like, absolutely, honey, and

1213
01:04:33,440 --> 01:04:35,160
Speaker 1: I keep trying to like, you know, because I'm gonna

1214
01:04:35,200 --> 01:04:36,760
Speaker 1: I'm like I can act this to like I know

1215
01:04:36,800 --> 01:04:38,800
Speaker 1: how our fights are, but like I can act how

1216
01:04:38,800 --> 01:04:42,240
Speaker 1: our fights usually are. So I'm like I keep kind

1217
01:04:42,240 --> 01:04:45,480
Speaker 1: of poking him and he's like, oh, honey, absolutely, I

1218
01:04:45,640 --> 01:04:49,520
Speaker 1: when thousand percent agree with you. And I was like, Okay,

1219
01:04:49,720 --> 01:04:53,760
Speaker 1: cut because this isn't to say, this is not how

1220
01:04:53,800 --> 01:04:56,840
Speaker 1: you are when the cameras are around. So we're going

1221
01:04:56,880 --> 01:04:59,000
Speaker 1: to cut this right now because I'm not going to

1222
01:04:59,120 --> 01:05:00,720
Speaker 1: look like just the crazy d one and you're going

1223
01:05:00,760 --> 01:05:02,960
Speaker 1: to look the same because you are like, I'm like,

1224
01:05:03,200 --> 01:05:06,840
Speaker 1: not happening. I was like, no, cut, and we're redoing

1225
01:05:06,880 --> 01:05:12,240
Speaker 1: this again. Was not surprised, but it wasn't like it

1226
01:05:12,320 --> 01:05:14,600
Speaker 1: wasn't like a conscious thing because cameras are rolling. It

1227
01:05:14,680 --> 01:05:18,160
Speaker 1: was more just like you know, we've we had already

1228
01:05:18,240 --> 01:05:20,680
Speaker 1: kind of talked about it, so and through all the

1229
01:05:20,680 --> 01:05:23,400
Speaker 1: therapy we've done, I'm trying to practice what a therapy says.

1230
01:05:23,720 --> 01:05:25,440
Speaker 1: And the producers like, no, you gotta give us like

1231
01:05:25,520 --> 01:05:28,320
Speaker 1: understand too. I'm like, you guys are just setting me

1232
01:05:28,360 --> 01:05:31,520
Speaker 1: back therapy right now, Like all ben't working on for years.

1233
01:05:31,520 --> 01:05:33,479
Speaker 1: You guys are gonna set me back. But it's still

1234
01:05:33,520 --> 01:05:35,800
Speaker 1: like we don't do it perfectly. So it's like showing

1235
01:05:35,840 --> 01:05:37,800
Speaker 1: that like those because I'm like, when have you ever

1236
01:05:37,880 --> 01:05:41,200
Speaker 1: done that? That's the thing. He's never done that. But again,

1237
01:05:41,280 --> 01:05:43,120
Speaker 1: but again, when we're filming it, I was like talking

1238
01:05:43,160 --> 01:05:45,080
Speaker 1: to you like this, and I'd be like, look at

1239
01:05:45,080 --> 01:05:51,080
Speaker 1: the camera like no, like like, okay, I hope we

1240
01:05:51,120 --> 01:05:53,640
Speaker 1: can see this footage one day or the other because

1241
01:05:53,880 --> 01:05:57,800
Speaker 1: I just feel like, like you're so natural. I feel

1242
01:05:57,840 --> 01:06:01,720
Speaker 1: like like we would all be like, wait, what's happening?

1243
01:06:01,840 --> 01:06:04,560
Speaker 1: Why is he an eye going to the left, Like

1244
01:06:05,080 --> 01:06:07,520
Speaker 1: there's no way, my kid ignore the cameras at least

1245
01:06:07,600 --> 01:06:11,080
Speaker 1: like during that part. But it was fun. I mean

1246
01:06:11,080 --> 01:06:13,920
Speaker 1: it was fun to kind of see, you know, just

1247
01:06:14,040 --> 01:06:15,560
Speaker 1: kind of feel that and kind of be like, okay,

1248
01:06:15,600 --> 01:06:18,120
Speaker 1: like this is going This would be what we would

1249
01:06:18,120 --> 01:06:20,160
Speaker 1: be doing, you know, and the cameras would be here

1250
01:06:20,160 --> 01:06:22,040
Speaker 1: while we're having this fight. But if he but if

1251
01:06:22,080 --> 01:06:24,640
Speaker 1: he is like pretends to be a saint in conversations,

1252
01:06:24,680 --> 01:06:28,560
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm out, I'm not because I'm like I

1253
01:06:28,640 --> 01:06:29,840
Speaker 1: just want to be able to look at the camera.

1254
01:06:29,880 --> 01:06:34,080
Speaker 1: Why can't we just acknowledge them, you know what I mean,

1255
01:06:34,800 --> 01:06:38,640
Speaker 1: it's not reality because they're not supposed to be. No.

1256
01:06:38,760 --> 01:06:40,840
Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of house husbands get like that,

1257
01:06:40,920 --> 01:06:44,400
Speaker 1: Like in the first season, everything's all calm and cool,

1258
01:06:44,440 --> 01:06:46,480
Speaker 1: but then as soon as like you get comfortable and

1259
01:06:46,480 --> 01:06:48,240
Speaker 1: you know, the cameras are gone, then it's like, Okay,

1260
01:06:48,280 --> 01:06:50,360
Speaker 1: the gloves come off, like you forget everyone's always on

1261
01:06:50,360 --> 01:06:53,240
Speaker 1: their best behavior. I feel like, because you're so aware.

1262
01:06:53,400 --> 01:06:56,400
Speaker 1: Even Catherine, you know, James manager, will say, we'll like

1263
01:06:56,680 --> 01:06:59,720
Speaker 1: watch our interactions, like when we're getting ready before we

1264
01:07:00,000 --> 01:07:03,080
Speaker 1: already filming. She's like, this is when we need the cameras. Yeah,

1265
01:07:03,240 --> 01:07:05,560
Speaker 1: She's like, we need him before you actually get on camera,

1266
01:07:05,600 --> 01:07:09,200
Speaker 1: because then I'm just like, cameras wrong. You're like, yes, Hannah, absolutely,

1267
01:07:09,320 --> 01:07:13,120
Speaker 1: I totally understand. I'm like, okay, whatever the love of

1268
01:07:13,160 --> 01:07:18,120
Speaker 1: my life needs to make her feel safe, I will do. So. Yeah.

1269
01:07:18,280 --> 01:07:20,400
Speaker 1: So I don't know. The bottom line is, I don't

1270
01:07:20,440 --> 01:07:22,880
Speaker 1: know if we will. But we did film something and

1271
01:07:22,920 --> 01:07:25,200
Speaker 1: it was a presentation for a certain network, so we

1272
01:07:25,200 --> 01:07:28,640
Speaker 1: shall see. But I will not be on a housewives show.

1273
01:07:29,160 --> 01:07:32,200
Speaker 1: Yeah you heard it here. I'm so glad we got

1274
01:07:32,200 --> 01:07:36,000
Speaker 1: to clear this up, because even I message you, I'm like,

1275
01:07:36,160 --> 01:07:38,560
Speaker 1: that doesn't look like housewives lighting. And I don't know

1276
01:07:38,600 --> 01:07:40,680
Speaker 1: if they set up craft services in your garage, but

1277
01:07:40,720 --> 01:07:45,920
Speaker 1: I couldn't be wrong. Well, thanks for coming back on

1278
01:07:46,000 --> 01:07:48,440
Speaker 1: to clear up that rumor. I mean, this is what

1279
01:07:48,480 --> 01:07:53,080
Speaker 1: I'm really here for. Let's be like, let's be very clear. Well,

1280
01:07:53,160 --> 01:07:55,120
Speaker 1: now I know now I can sleep, Like now I

1281
01:07:55,160 --> 01:07:57,920
Speaker 1: can go by my day because I thought, how did

1282
01:07:57,960 --> 01:08:00,760
Speaker 1: I forget to bring up the biggest news? It's no

1283
01:08:01,240 --> 01:08:05,479
Speaker 1: biggest news is your babes in the belly? All right, Sarah? Okay, guys,

1284
01:08:06,960 --> 01:08:10,240
Speaker 1: that's so funny. Yeah, but it is something that we'll

1285
01:08:10,280 --> 01:08:14,120
Speaker 1: have to discuss because I think you like kind of

1286
01:08:14,160 --> 01:08:15,560
Speaker 1: like what you said, Like the hardest part about if

1287
01:08:15,560 --> 01:08:19,880
Speaker 1: we did do a reality show is because we come

1288
01:08:19,880 --> 01:08:26,760
Speaker 1: on here and we want to show it's like, how

1289
01:08:26,800 --> 01:08:29,160
Speaker 1: how would they portray us, you know, like just a

1290
01:08:29,200 --> 01:08:31,280
Speaker 1: total train wreck. Well that's not fair because that's not

1291
01:08:31,320 --> 01:08:34,240
Speaker 1: how we like. Yeah, we have train wreck moments, but

1292
01:08:34,360 --> 01:08:37,320
Speaker 1: we're not always like we we have fights. Yeah, we

1293
01:08:37,400 --> 01:08:41,400
Speaker 1: fight and they're not perfect, but we get through them

1294
01:08:41,439 --> 01:08:43,200
Speaker 1: and we get stronger and we grow and we and

1295
01:08:43,560 --> 01:08:47,680
Speaker 1: we do better in most of our arguments now, you know,

1296
01:08:47,760 --> 01:08:49,920
Speaker 1: do you sit down in every argument and say yes, honey,

1297
01:08:49,960 --> 01:08:52,639
Speaker 1: absolutely like you did in front of the cameras that day. No,

1298
01:08:52,800 --> 01:08:56,439
Speaker 1: not at all. Neither do I. But we we have

1299
01:08:56,560 --> 01:08:59,320
Speaker 1: more than those than we did in the past, So

1300
01:08:59,439 --> 01:09:02,080
Speaker 1: I think that I think people just need to creatively

1301
01:09:02,120 --> 01:09:04,520
Speaker 1: think differently, and we need to make it a documentary.

1302
01:09:05,439 --> 01:09:10,439
Speaker 1: Can just let me look at the crops? Sure? Well,

1303
01:09:10,479 --> 01:09:12,519
Speaker 1: that's a show for us today, See you next week.

1304
01:09:12,800 --> 01:09:13,000
Speaker 1: Later