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Speaker 1: This is the most traumatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.

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Speaker 1: Chris Harrison coming to you today with a very special playbook.

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Speaker 1: It is special because of my guest LZ is not

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Speaker 1: with me today, but I have Meredith Marks and the

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Speaker 1: Real Housewives of Salt Lake City joining me to open

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Speaker 1: up today's playbook.

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Speaker 2: First of all, it's so good to have you here.

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Speaker 3: Thank you. I'm so happy to be here.

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Speaker 2: I appreciate it.

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Speaker 1: We did a big interview and by the way, if

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Speaker 1: you did not listen to the Meredith Marks interview, go

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Speaker 1: back check it out. It's There was a couple days

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Speaker 1: before we jumped on this one, but I wanted to

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Speaker 1: keep you on to do a playbook because this story

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Speaker 1: broke that It just came out about Jada Pinkett Smith

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Speaker 1: and Will Smith and they announced that they have been

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Speaker 1: separated since twenty sixteen, So, if my math is correct,

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Speaker 1: seven years that they've been a part that know, they

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Speaker 1: didn't tell anybody they did, Nobody knew. We've seen them together,

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Speaker 1: but technically they've been apart. Kind of a huge revelation.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean big revelation. I can understand it. It's

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Speaker 4: very relatable for me, you know, not all that different

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Speaker 4: from what Seth and I went through.

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Speaker 1: So you and Seth were separated living separately or do

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Speaker 1: you all stay together?

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Speaker 2: Well, so we were separated.

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Speaker 4: On and off over you know a period of years,

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Speaker 4: and at times we lived together, at times we lived separately,

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Speaker 4: but we didn't really live separately until the tail end

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Speaker 4: because nobody knew we were separate. Our children didn't know

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Speaker 4: we're except nobody.

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Speaker 2: Your kids didn't know.

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Speaker 3: They did not know.

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Speaker 2: Wow, how did you guys keep that alive and keep it?

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Speaker 4: I think that it actually caused an immense amount of

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Speaker 4: marital discord. And I don't advise anyone else necessarily doing it.

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Speaker 4: I understand why it was, you know, a choice that

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Speaker 4: I made. I felt like our children were very close

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Speaker 4: to being out of the house, and you know, I

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Speaker 4: came from a divorce family and I knew how hard

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Speaker 4: that was for me, and I didn't want them to

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Speaker 4: go through that. So I felt like, well, it's not

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Speaker 4: going to be that long. Let's just you know, band

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Speaker 4: aid this until they leave and then we'll see what happens.

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Speaker 3: And probably not the best way to do things, but well.

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Me, I can kind of relate in that, you know,

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Speaker 1: when I was going through my divorce. We didn't tell.

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Speaker 1: My kids were young too, so when you tell them,

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Speaker 1: it's not like you could bring them in as adults

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Speaker 1: and go, hey, guys, mom and dad are kind of

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Speaker 1: working on stuff. It's neither you are. You aren't at

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Speaker 1: that age, so we kind of kept it quiet. We

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Speaker 1: didn't tell anybody because again, we didn't want the press.

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Speaker 1: That's always the difficult thing too, is life is hard

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Speaker 1: enough and these situations are hard enough. And I imagine

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Speaker 1: for Will and Jada that was part of it as well.

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Speaker 1: They are superstars, like worldwide, global superstars. If you let

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Speaker 1: the world in on that, it's a show.

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Speaker 4: Oh I think that that could have easily been the

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Speaker 4: end right death nail.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's over.

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Speaker 1: And so on a much smaller scale, you and I

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Speaker 1: can kind of relate to that.

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Speaker 2: At least.

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Speaker 1: I didn't want anyone to know I was going through

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Speaker 1: and it was really And it's funny when things come up.

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Speaker 1: I remember ABC was I forget who it was was

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Speaker 1: doing like a Valentine special or whatever. It's like, hey,

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Speaker 1: we want you to come and talk about love and

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Speaker 1: how it and making it work in Hollywood, And I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: can I not do that special now right now, I'm

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Speaker 1: on the verge of signing divorce papers. And so for

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Speaker 1: a long time nobody knew. And I remember we were

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Speaker 1: about to announce it. I think we released it to

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Speaker 1: People magazine. I was heading to d Brevnik, Croatia for

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Speaker 1: Emily Maynard season of The Bacheorette, and I was taking

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Speaker 1: the kid and so I said, look, let's drop it

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Speaker 1: on a Friday. It's where we always dump our bad

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Speaker 1: news on a Friday. And I was on a plane.

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Speaker 1: I was taking the kids out of the country, so

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Speaker 1: we weren't going to face anything, and my ex could

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Speaker 1: leave and she could go to Dallas and be with

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Speaker 1: her sister, and so we almost pulled off the ultimate caper.

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Speaker 1: And then we got a call from the publicist and

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Speaker 1: they said, hey, whatever magazine is hearing that you and

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Speaker 1: you're you know, significant other getting a divorce and is

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Speaker 1: this true? And I was like, well, yeah, it's coming

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Speaker 1: out in a couple hours. And I thought I was

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Speaker 1: going to get out of town. But and so nobody

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Speaker 1: knew and people were just flummox just flabbergas.

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Speaker 2: They had no idea. And so you guys went through

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Speaker 2: the same thing.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, it's well, we weren't television when we

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Speaker 4: went through the large majority of our separation. You know,

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Speaker 4: that was a tail end during season one, so it

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Speaker 4: was a lot more private and a lot easier to

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Speaker 4: keep it private, right, But yeah, it's so it's definitely

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Speaker 4: different because I was not in the public lights.

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Speaker 1: So that timeline is really interesting. So you entered into

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Speaker 1: the show separated. Technically, y'all weren't quite back together. Did

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Speaker 1: you know you were going to do?

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Speaker 3: Were separated?

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Speaker 4: And during that first season we actually like separated and

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Speaker 4: reconnected more than once, like we had. That was a

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Speaker 4: very tough time for us, and we kept going in

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Speaker 4: and out and we kept like wanting to be together

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Speaker 4: but not being able to set aside the hostility and

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Speaker 4: the anger and all of that to be able to

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Speaker 4: have like positive communities.

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Speaker 1: To do the passionate hookups and then the breakups. The

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Speaker 1: passionate hookups like you kind of needed the comfort because

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Speaker 1: you did love each other deep down, and so you'd

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Speaker 1: have these passionate, hot hookups and then when reality set

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Speaker 1: in and it wasn't so sexy, you like, oh, I'm

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Speaker 1: still kind of pissed.

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Speaker 2: And resentful, And yeah, I mean that's very typical.

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Speaker 4: You know. It's it's the it's like hot and cold,

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Speaker 4: but it's it's all fueled with emotion.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, and it's all very heavy.

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Speaker 2: You seek that comfort and you go back to it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, because at the end of the day, Soath and

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Speaker 4: I always, you know, truly loved each other and still do,

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Speaker 4: you know.

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Speaker 1: But but Bravo had no idea. So Bravo thought you

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Speaker 1: were just happily married.

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Speaker 3: And no, no, no, no, no, they knew.

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Speaker 4: They didn't know until until we got very close to filming,

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Speaker 4: because prior to that we were like we didn't know

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Speaker 4: where we would land, and we were just we didn't

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Speaker 4: tell anyone. And then we're like, well, we're we're on

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Speaker 4: a reality show. I guess it's time to speak up.

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Speaker 2: It seems like a great it seems like a great idea.

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Speaker 1: We are in the middle of hell, let's get on

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Speaker 1: a reality show and like break this thing up.

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Speaker 4: I mean, it's crazy though, because for us it was

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Speaker 4: a huge positive. It was like, you know, I do

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Speaker 4: honestly think, like everything else in life, you get back

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Speaker 4: what you put in, and if you go in with

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Speaker 4: a lot of negativity, you're going to get a lot

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Speaker 4: of negativity back. If you go in trying to make

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Speaker 4: the best of anything and get positive results back from something,

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Speaker 4: you'll get positive stuff. You know.

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Speaker 1: The Will and Jada of it all is very interesting.

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Speaker 1: For seven years, so clearly they are just they're living

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Speaker 1: their lives. They're off living their lives, and they are

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Speaker 1: such megastars that I mean, it's odd. So Will Smith

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Speaker 1: and I were the member of the same we're members

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Speaker 1: of the same country club. So I actually saw Will

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Speaker 1: and Jada not a ton, but quite a bit. They'd

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Speaker 1: be out playing golf. They would sneak out in the

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Speaker 1: afternoons evenings and everyone would leave them alone. And I

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Speaker 1: saw them in the parking lot a lot, and they

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Speaker 1: would be coming and going, and so they seemed, you know,

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Speaker 1: very happy together. They spend time together. They obviously have

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Speaker 1: children together. So I think I can kind of see

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Speaker 1: they've just come to terms of, Look, we're not meant

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Speaker 1: for each other. We're going to go our separate ways,

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Speaker 1: but we're always going to be intertwined.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, but you know, they during those years,

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Speaker 4: it may have been somewhat of what you were saying

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Speaker 4: cold and maybe they were together at times and not

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Speaker 4: together at others, I don't. I find it hard to

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Speaker 4: believe that they were just completely separated for seven years

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Speaker 4: silently like that. I don't get what the point of

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Speaker 4: that would be, Like you have to be kind of

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Speaker 4: figuring it out, or why wouldn't you just be public

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Speaker 4: about it? Right?

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Speaker 2: Well?

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Speaker 1: And my thing and again, I'll take them out of it.

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Speaker 1: I'm just thinking of myself and trying to relate this

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Speaker 1: to all of us in the real world. And my

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Speaker 1: thought is, you're living in purgatory. And that's if I

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Speaker 1: had a friend who was saying this, I would say,

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Speaker 1: you're not living.

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Speaker 2: You think you are.

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Speaker 1: You think you're taking care of the kids, you're thinking

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Speaker 1: you're doing what's better, but you're not. If you're not happy,

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Speaker 1: you're not being fulfilled. There's no chance you're finding love

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Speaker 1: because you're tied into this thing still. And I would say,

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Speaker 1: either you know, do it or don't. I agree.

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Speaker 4: I think that that's living in purgatory is a very

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Speaker 4: good analogy. I think that it's like very I mean,

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Speaker 4: I know for me, I just was very numb. I

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Speaker 4: shut down my emotions and that was my way of

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Speaker 4: handling it. And when they come back, they come back

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Speaker 4: in full force, and then of course.

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Speaker 3: I'm on reality TV for that part.

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Speaker 2: Thank god.

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Speaker 1: Mount Vesuvius, Meredith, Mount Vesuvius, Mount Meredith. Yeah, it's it

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Speaker 1: is a very interesting thing to go through and how

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Speaker 1: we all act. You said, you shut down. Some people

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Speaker 1: get very emotional and there's no perfect way to do it. Many,

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Speaker 1: many couples, a lot of people listening go through it.

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Speaker 2: You're not alone, like.

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Speaker 1: You're just it's hard. Love is hard, Relationships are hard.

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Speaker 1: When you throw kids in, i'd be interested now that

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Speaker 1: your kids are older, have they opened up and said,

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Speaker 1: maybe we didn't know, but we kind of knew, like

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Speaker 1: the because kids are smart, they're savvy.

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Speaker 3: So when our kids.

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Speaker 4: You know, found out about our separation, or when we

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Speaker 4: told them, I guess I should say they didn't find out.

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Speaker 3: We told them, Yeah, they had.

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Speaker 4: They were all adults, and their reaction was kind of like, well,

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Speaker 4: we just want you guys to be happy, whatever that means,

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Speaker 4: and if that means you're not together, that's fine. Do

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Speaker 4: what you need for yourself. So they were very mature

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Speaker 4: about it, you know, more so than I was.

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Speaker 2: You look fantastic, thank you.

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Speaker 1: I love the Sheik Denim crushing it.

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Speaker 2: I would expect.

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Speaker 1: Nothing less of Meredith Marks from something exciting. Thank you

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Speaker 1: for opening up the playbook with me, Thank you for

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Speaker 1: joining me this week. Of course, you can see Meredith

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Speaker 1: out Meredith on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and

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Speaker 1: if you can't get enough of Meredith like me new

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Speaker 1: podcast with your husband Seth, which.

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Speaker 3: Is hanging by a thread with Seth and Meredith.

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Speaker 1: Marks, as we all are. We're all hanging by a thread.

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Speaker 1: We're just doing the best we can everybody, and that's

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Speaker 1: all we can do. But be kind, be graceful, have

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Speaker 1: some love, take care of yourself and take care of

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Speaker 1: each other. And thank you so much for listening. Always

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Speaker 1: appreciate it, and we'll do it again next time. Of course,

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Speaker 1: we have a lot more to talk about.

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Speaker 2: Thanks for listening.

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Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram at the most dramatic pod ever

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Speaker 1: and make sure to write us a review and leave

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Speaker 1: us five stars. I'll talk to you next time.