Speaker 1: This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 1: Chris Harrison and Lauren Z mccoveany from the home office
Speaker 1: in Austin, Texas love shows like Today because well, it's
Speaker 1: about you, guys. We reached out and said, hey, what
Speaker 1: questions do you have for LZ and I. It's always
Speaker 1: a moment of trepidation excitement as we find out what's
Speaker 1: on your mind and what you guys want to talk about.
Speaker 1: Elsie one of the things that I know we got
Speaker 1: questioned about and we can jump into it right away.
Speaker 1: Merritt Street and how things are going? Where are you guys,
Speaker 1: and how's the network going?
Speaker 2: I know, And there's still this element of like, people
Speaker 2: ask when are you going to be on merit and
Speaker 2: I feel bad because we're working on it. We are
Speaker 2: in the process of staffing up for our morning show.
Speaker 2: I think we can give that update. We are interviewing
Speaker 2: candidates for our morning show team and staff, and we
Speaker 2: are in the process. Well why don't you give the
Speaker 2: reality dating show?
Speaker 1: The reality dating show? And people have asked more details
Speaker 1: about it, and we're not going to get into the
Speaker 1: concept of it yet, but what we will say is
Speaker 1: we are starting the you know again, kind of like
Speaker 1: the Morning Show, the production phase. We're going to get
Speaker 1: into casting and putting the show together and then, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm not sure. I hadn't thought about this when we
Speaker 1: would talk about the concept and when all that stuff
Speaker 1: will get out, But well down the road, I don't
Speaker 1: think it is the time to know. It's definitely not yet,
Speaker 1: but but we do. Yes, we're very very good. We
Speaker 1: love the team we've put together, the people were working with,
Speaker 1: the people were working for, the Merritt family has been
Speaker 1: fantastic and Doctor Phil and Joel Cheatwood and everybody over
Speaker 1: there Phil McIntyre. So it's just been more and more
Speaker 1: exciting and I will have more and more Doctor Phil
Speaker 1: episodes popping up. I'll let you guys know via social
Speaker 1: media when I will be on. Who knows when you're
Speaker 1: listening to this, but I know May seventh, there's one
Speaker 1: coming up. We're talking about the Nil College deal, so
Speaker 1: that one will be airing, so I'll let you guys know.
Speaker 1: But exciting stuff, and everything's going phenomenally well over there.
Speaker 1: That is the Merritt Street update. And by the way,
Speaker 1: Elsie looks up our next question. You can download the
Speaker 1: free app Merit Plus to watch free on any Apple devices.
Speaker 1: And also you can go to merritt Street dot com
Speaker 1: and then you can put in your zip codes. You
Speaker 1: can find out how to watch on Dish, how to
Speaker 1: watch on direct and as we are adding subscribers, you
Speaker 1: can find out where you can watch. So there you go.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm going to dive in with a hot question.
Speaker 2: Send an anonymously. This is a relationships question. How long
Speaker 2: should you wait to have sex in a new relationship?
Speaker 2: I have my answer.
Speaker 1: Okay, you have a definite you have like a.
Speaker 2: I don't have a number. I just have a formula.
Speaker 1: Okay, formula that's even better.
Speaker 2: I think it's proportionate to you and where you're at
Speaker 2: in your life. Oh yeah, okay, And by that I
Speaker 2: mean and it's also your age is another part of
Speaker 2: that math equation. I do think, like I don't think
Speaker 2: people in their late teens early twenties. I think that
Speaker 2: at that age and I'm making a sweeping generalization, but
Speaker 2: I think at that age a lot of people think, oh,
Speaker 2: I can just took up with someone and like I
Speaker 2: won't have any feelings. I also think there can be
Speaker 2: a difference between how males and females really feel in
Speaker 2: those situations. But if you're at that age and you're
Speaker 2: I think you just need to be honest with yourself.
Speaker 2: Are you convincing yourself, Oh, I can sleep with someone
Speaker 2: right away, I won't get attached. I think at that
Speaker 2: age of life you get more attached. Our feelings are big.
Speaker 2: At that age you have big obsessions, big swings. Breakups
Speaker 2: are hard. The older you get, the more in control
Speaker 2: of your own feelings you hopefully become. If you're maturing
Speaker 2: and growing and working on yourself. And I do think
Speaker 2: the older you get, and especially as you know more
Speaker 2: of what you want, it can be easier to lessen
Speaker 2: how much time you become, like the length of time
Speaker 2: which you wait to be come intimate with someone. What
Speaker 2: do you think?
Speaker 1: I think when it comes to having sex, buyer beware
Speaker 1: you need to know yourself, is what I'm saying. Know
Speaker 1: what you want out of this, And Lauren just hit
Speaker 1: the nail on the head. You have to be honest
Speaker 1: with yourself. I think we fool ourselves a lot and
Speaker 1: think you can do something and there's going to be
Speaker 1: no emotional tax. There is an emotional tax to it.
Speaker 1: If you're just going to jump and sleep around, and
Speaker 1: just know this. It does change things. The sex changes things.
Speaker 1: And if you want more out of a relationship, if
Speaker 1: you want this to go somewhere, if you think there's
Speaker 1: a possibility of it being meaningful, then you need to
Speaker 1: treat it as such. You need to have respect for it.
Speaker 1: And I'm not being the old traditional you know, there's
Speaker 1: no definite time stamp of two dates, three dates, five
Speaker 1: dates a year, whatever. It's different for all of us,
Speaker 1: but there is a level of respect you need to
Speaker 1: have if you want something serious out of this relationship.
Speaker 1: If you're going to just bop around on the first
Speaker 1: date and you're going to be treated as such, well,
Speaker 1: I don't be surprised when you are.
Speaker 2: I think sex either makes things quickly less meaningful, like oh,
Speaker 2: this is just a hookup, or it makes things quickly
Speaker 2: more meaningful like oh what are we now? And now
Speaker 2: we're intimate, and it accelerates things that.
Speaker 1: Can go either way. So yes, just be what do
Speaker 1: you want there be that can go either way for
Speaker 1: the guy girl or.
Speaker 2: Advice is when it comes to sex, buyer beware.
Speaker 1: Yes, well it's all right.
Speaker 2: Jimmy wants to know a little bit more a little
Speaker 2: bit of a sex question. If your partner cheats on you,
Speaker 2: do you think there is ever a chance of making
Speaker 2: it work? Since I'm asking these questions, my answer is
Speaker 2: a little more ready swall you think on it? I
Speaker 2: do think so. I think I'm just a believer that
Speaker 2: relationships people make mistakes. I don't know, I've never gone
Speaker 2: into any relationship really Like, I'm not that person who's
Speaker 2: like things are black or white and if you do this,
Speaker 2: it's over forever. I think guy make mistakes. I think
Speaker 2: everybody makes mistakes, and it's totally case by case in
Speaker 2: a relationship. And what's always proportionate to me or meaningful
Speaker 2: to me rather is one what was the intent when
Speaker 2: the person messed up? Were they being totally careless with you?
Speaker 2: Were they trying to hurt you? Or were they traumatized
Speaker 2: and hurt in some way themselves which created a mistake,
Speaker 2: Like where's their heart at and what's the intent? And two,
Speaker 2: what's the effort on them fixing what they did? How
Speaker 2: committed are they? How much real work are they doing?
Speaker 2: And whether it's cheating or I don't know, hiding a
Speaker 2: gambling dead or abusing alcohol or whatever it is, I
Speaker 2: think those two things always tell me whether you should
Speaker 2: stay in a relationship.
Speaker 1: This is another one that kind of, like the sex questions,
Speaker 1: very age and experience dependent, right. I think when we're younger,
Speaker 1: we have this kind of very black and white thought
Speaker 1: of the world.
Speaker 2: And cheaters are bad.
Speaker 1: Well, it's it's almost like you see you're evil. You
Speaker 1: see what some of the college kids are doing now
Speaker 1: with their ideas and their thoughts and the kind of
Speaker 1: revolution they got going on. It's like everything's very black
Speaker 1: and white. Right. It's that's when you're younger. I think
Speaker 1: you're able to have those things. As you get older,
Speaker 1: you realize there's a big gray area in life and
Speaker 1: you realize there's a lot of perspectives and you got
Speaker 1: to take things in and like Lauren said, it kind
Speaker 1: of depends. It really depends on the person and in
Speaker 1: the experience and how they talk about it. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I just would say life's not so black and white.
Speaker 1: So the older you get, I think there is much
Speaker 1: more of that ability.
Speaker 2: I think what you're talking about too, is like knowing
Speaker 2: what you don't know, which is a phrase you say
Speaker 2: a lot, like, for example, I've said this for a
Speaker 2: long time, part of the reason I would never say,
Speaker 2: if you if you know this person, sheets be done
Speaker 2: with them. I have no idea what it's like to
Speaker 2: be in a marriage for thirty years, right, I have
Speaker 2: no idea what it's like to be married to someone
Speaker 2: who I don't know is I'm just I knowing has
Speaker 2: been ill for many years. I don't know what arrangements
Speaker 2: people have in relationships. I don't know what it's like
Speaker 2: to be like. I do know people who have cheated
Speaker 2: in situations where I'm sorry they were I knew that
Speaker 2: they were in a marriage with someone who was deeply
Speaker 2: mentally and emotionally abusive, like and eventually that marriage ended
Speaker 2: and they were just trying to find a way out
Speaker 2: and they were in a tough situation. Yeah, so I
Speaker 2: just don't you know, you don't know what you haven't experienced,
Speaker 2: I guess, and you have to try to be empathetic.
Speaker 1: Definitely not a one size fits all answer.
Speaker 2: I'll keep going, and then you should take over some
Speaker 2: of these so that I don't have to be answering.
Speaker 1: First, you're the best host. Wow, thanks all answer first
Speaker 1: you can?
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, let me throw it at you. Amy says,
Speaker 2: are there any people from Bachelor Nation that you wish
Speaker 2: you had maintained a friendship with who you didn't.
Speaker 1: No, nobody that I wish i'd maintained. Because I have.
Speaker 1: I've maintained these relationships. There are people I well, lots
Speaker 1: of them that I wish I saw more. There are
Speaker 1: so many, you know. One of the beautiful things about
Speaker 1: our wedding was we got to see so many of
Speaker 1: them because you know, Ashley and Jared, you know, Jade
Speaker 1: and Tanner, like, we just don't get to see.
Speaker 2: Them, especially because the pandemic yea Tristan Rossau just from
Speaker 2: having events for so everybody's just spread around the country.
Speaker 2: And so you know, Bob Getey, I don't even know
Speaker 2: if he lives in America, somewhere in the Pacific Northwest,
Speaker 2: I don't know, but I don't get to see him
Speaker 2: enough and talk to you know, so we text and
Speaker 2: we keep in touch. But I wish I could see
Speaker 2: them more, because when we all do get together for
Speaker 2: whatever reason, it's always such a lovely time. You know,
Speaker 2: it was somebody who I think you'd loved but hadn't
Speaker 2: kept in touch with as much. But we've reconnected with
Speaker 2: a bit here and we need to see him again soon,
Speaker 2: as Brad Walmack.
Speaker 1: Yeah again. Yeah, I mean he's and he's right under
Speaker 1: our nose here in Austin.
Speaker 2: But I mean when we first moved here, we got
Speaker 2: dinner and you were like, oh, it was so good
Speaker 2: to see you. So let's call Brad Walmack.
Speaker 1: Let's call Brad Walmack. Yes. You know, if there's a
Speaker 1: takeaway from this podcast today, Brad, you're buying this dinner soon.
Speaker 2: I don't think it's about it's all a wish that
Speaker 2: we could see people more. You're right, I like sometimes
Speaker 2: people pop up on Instagram and you feel like you're
Speaker 2: seeing them, but that in person hang is always better.
Speaker 2: But it's hard. Everybody's spread out everywhere and busy. But
Speaker 2: it's great to be in a place where you want
Speaker 2: to hang out with people and talk to them more.
Speaker 2: Grace is wondering what is your least favorite and most
Speaker 2: favorite job that you have had over the years.
Speaker 1: What if it's the same one. I've had a lot
Speaker 1: of jobs, man, I've had a lot of jobs. I
Speaker 1: guess the craziest, happiest time of was beginning my sportscasting careers.
Speaker 1: Just everything was new. I was starting the adventure of
Speaker 1: launching this career. This is back in ninety three when
Speaker 1: I graduated and I started working Oklahoma City, and it
Speaker 1: was so new, and I was covering things for the
Speaker 1: first time and doing things and making mistakes and learning
Speaker 1: at such a high level. It was like drinking from
Speaker 1: a fire hydrant. And luckily I had some amazing mentors
Speaker 1: around me to teach me and and groom me, and
Speaker 1: I worked hard at my craft. That was maybe my
Speaker 1: most enjoyable time because it was so hard and fun
Speaker 1: and just the reward, the risk reward was so high.
Speaker 2: And it's good to build something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, and again the Bachelor, We've talked about
Speaker 1: it a lot. At the beginning it was wonderful, but
Speaker 1: the beginning of it all was the best because you're
Speaker 1: creating it all and it was so new and everything's
Speaker 1: happening for the first time, and you know the travel
Speaker 1: and even press and learning how to do it all
Speaker 1: and handle it. That's exciting. What about you.
Speaker 2: Least favorite job? Part time employee at Target In high
Speaker 2: school and college, people are really mean to part time
Speaker 2: employees at Darks. They are madam you and I didn't
Speaker 2: know specific information and prices about every single object at
Speaker 2: the store.
Speaker 1: Would be nice to those Those folks work in the
Speaker 1: summer jobs at Target.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean I was like, I'm a they I mean.
Speaker 1: The next laurenz em Well, they just talk.
Speaker 2: Down to you. They assume you're stupid, whether because you're
Speaker 2: young or I I don't know. And yeah, they were
Speaker 2: just really uh also so careless, Like would just drop
Speaker 2: clothes on the floor and leave them in the clothing section.
Speaker 2: I stupidly, as a teenager, thought, I like clothes, I'll
Speaker 2: work in the clothing section. No, if you are getting
Speaker 2: a part time job as a high schooler at a
Speaker 2: place like a Target, be a cashier, the day goes
Speaker 2: by so much faster and you just get to stand
Speaker 2: in place and you were like running around and dealing
Speaker 2: with a lot of people and it just goes by slowly.
Speaker 2: So best best job I've ever had. I mean, I
Speaker 2: loved doing Roses and Rose. Yeah, because that was this
Speaker 2: combination of like doing news but making it funny and
Speaker 2: giving it this comedic twist. And I don't think we've
Speaker 2: said this, but I will say I I guess we
Speaker 2: can reveal that part of our plan with the new
Speaker 2: reality dating show would be that I will do an
Speaker 2: after show for it. Oh yeah, much like Roses and Rose.
Speaker 1: We definitely should say that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so that's the plan. Maybe we won't share the
Speaker 2: concept yet, but the idea would be Chris will host
Speaker 2: the show and I will do an after show. And
Speaker 2: I will absolutely relish doing that again because I loved
Speaker 2: and working on the Yeah, yes, but I loved like
Speaker 2: that comedic spin. I love getting Truly, what makes me happy,
Speaker 2: however I can do it, is making people happy. I
Speaker 2: don't think I like that. I've realized that about myself.
Speaker 2: I just love making people laugh. But you know you
Speaker 2: need the right venue to do it in. It's like
Speaker 2: even on the podcast. Someday, you know, we get like
Speaker 2: more in depth here, but it's not the venue of
Speaker 2: like that ridiculous side of me where I was drinking
Speaker 2: wine and comparing the show to Game of Thrones and
Speaker 2: like Taylor Swift albums and doing crossovers of everything I loved.
Speaker 1: I forgot, I didn't say my worst. I was on
Speaker 1: the sand and finished crew of a floor company at
Speaker 1: French Brown Floors in Dallas, Texas summer job. When you
Speaker 1: sand and finish floors like our hardwood floor, you just
Speaker 1: hold this like seventy five pound machine as you're bent
Speaker 1: over all day in a one hundred and eight degree
Speaker 1: house because you can't have the air conditioning on because
Speaker 1: of all the dust, and it's just a miserable job.
Speaker 1: It's what kept me in college. I'm like, I will
Speaker 1: get my degree. I will not do this.
Speaker 2: That was But what's great is that you still remember
Speaker 2: those skills and you yourself. I sand did and finished
Speaker 2: our outdoor table, as I.
Speaker 1: Didn't sand and finish anything like.
Speaker 2: That, and I didn't trust him. I have to admit
Speaker 2: He's like, I know what to do, and I'm like, babe,
Speaker 2: that's an expensive table. I'm sure you know. I don't know.
Speaker 2: Maybe we should call someone. No, you knew what to do.
Speaker 2: Any question of questioned you.
Speaker 1: I'm going to ask this next question because it's kind
Speaker 1: of sporty because the first Saturday and May is coming up.
Speaker 1: They're going to the Kentucky Derby. We're not going this year.
Speaker 1: But Elsie tips, well.
Speaker 2: We're not going, and I shouldn't say we didn't have
Speaker 2: a bad time and we got invited to.
Speaker 1: Go, We got graduation, we had stuff, and we just
Speaker 1: can't do it.
Speaker 2: We just couldn't fit it in, but we were invited
Speaker 2: and would have been happy to go again. So tips
Speaker 2: enjoy it. I wish I'd put a little more time,
Speaker 2: like I put time into the outfit, but put time
Speaker 2: into the outfit. That's don't make it an afterthought, make
Speaker 2: it a focus and the hat can I.
Speaker 1: Ask a question on behalf of women that you need
Speaker 1: to answer. What's the shoe situation? What should I be wearing?
Speaker 1: Shoe wise?
Speaker 2: That's what's so hard. You have to do a lot
Speaker 2: of walking, Yeah, a lot of walking. Yet you want
Speaker 2: to be wearing heels because your outfit's cute, whatever your
Speaker 2: comfort is. You know, that's tough.
Speaker 1: Because by the way, they do sell flip flops, Like
Speaker 1: there's kids with flip flops right outside the door as
Speaker 1: you walk out, because they know everybody walks out.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's like a wedding when they have flip flops
Speaker 2: after dancing, like you are gonna want to be. Yeah,
Speaker 2: there's so much walking because it's so small where the
Speaker 2: derby is and it's on all these tiny little streets
Speaker 2: that like cars can't get to you, like you have
Speaker 2: to walk to get out of it all. So yeah,
Speaker 2: enjoy yourself and try what's the signature drink.
Speaker 1: I forget the mint Julip.
Speaker 2: Is it the mintulap? Yes, but they have like a
Speaker 2: special way they do it.
Speaker 1: I thought mint julip.
Speaker 2: Can't remember, but give it a whirl.
Speaker 1: That is the drink. And by the way, for your
Speaker 1: handicapping tips, look at some of these races, the Arkansas Derby,
Speaker 1: Louisiana Derby, the Florida Derby, Lot of Lot, and don't
Speaker 1: just look at the winner of those races. Look at
Speaker 1: who may have finished second, very close, may have had
Speaker 1: a bad trip. Look at those races for those three
Speaker 1: year olds coming up, have a blast. One hundred and
Speaker 1: fiftieth Kentucky Derby's coming up. It is a milestone. It
Speaker 1: is a trip to Louisville. You won't forget. For all
Speaker 1: of our friends we made last year in Louisville, we
Speaker 1: miss you, guys. Will we will be back, but we
Speaker 1: just got some big family and life events coming up
Speaker 1: that we just can't miss it for. But we'll be
Speaker 1: watching on NBC. We appreciate it. Should I ask this
Speaker 1: question from Mary, what are some IX like and I
Speaker 1: mean like ikey like ooh ick, babe.
Speaker 2: I don't think that you know what this is referencing.
Speaker 2: So let me help you people today save the ick
Speaker 2: like wh it gives me the ick? You know, no
Speaker 2: one's saying ikey, but like you.
Speaker 1: I just meant like I was trying to explain because
Speaker 1: I didn't know if if you hear that, am I
Speaker 1: enunciating it?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: So yes? So Mary's asking, what are some ix you
Speaker 2: used to get from someone if they would say or
Speaker 2: do something on the first few dates? So basically what
Speaker 2: gave us the ick? Go ahead?
Speaker 1: I just remember the one I got the ick from
Speaker 1: was a bad conversationalist, someone who didn't ask me one
Speaker 1: question the entire night, didn't ask one question. I just
Speaker 1: which is odd because I did this to you, or
Speaker 1: maybe you did this to me. I'm not sure which,
Speaker 1: but I'm glad we made it through that ick stage.
Speaker 1: But uh, someone who doesn't ever ask about you and
Speaker 1: they just talk incessantly about themselves, that's an ick.
Speaker 2: That's funny. I was gonna say the same thing. That's
Speaker 2: my ick in romantic relationships and friendships and work relationships.
Speaker 2: That's my human ick. If a person never can go like,
Speaker 2: I want to know about you, And Chris is saying,
Speaker 2: if you haven't heard us tell this story. On our
Speaker 2: first date, I and I always say give people a
Speaker 2: second date. I think the first date's an interview. It's hard,
Speaker 2: people are nervous.
Speaker 1: So airs wasn't perfect.
Speaker 2: No, it was great. But I'll usually give people a
Speaker 2: second date if they I mean not anymore. But you know,
Speaker 2: if there were one or two things off, I'd still
Speaker 2: give a second date because first dates are weird.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's funny, we both have the same ick.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But on our first date, I felt like Chris
Speaker 2: did talk about himself quite a lot. But we talked
Speaker 2: about it later and he said, I felt like you
Speaker 2: wanted to interview mode and asked me a million questions.
Speaker 2: So that might have been my fault. And by the way,
Speaker 2: I have an awareness. I tend to do that. I
Speaker 2: like love people's stories, and so I asked them all questions.
Speaker 2: But I'm not looking for a lot back. I'm not
Speaker 2: looking for the same level back. But if you don't
Speaker 2: give me even a how are you, where are you from,
Speaker 2: or what do you do for work, I'm very turned off.
Speaker 2: I don't want to interact with that person anymore because
Speaker 2: to me, any relationship is a two way straight any
Speaker 2: physical x oh I have a physical I really hate
Speaker 2: someone has they I guess they must feel they have
Speaker 2: food in their mouth or something, and they reach back
Speaker 2: into their mouth and dig food out of their teeth.
Speaker 2: And again, I mean that anytime anywhere, Like, I don't
Speaker 2: ever want to see that. It's so gross. Yeah, it's disgusting,
Speaker 2: and I've seen people do it in very public situations
Speaker 2: and maybe I'm weird. Is it socially.
Speaker 1: Acceptable to this? Is if someone goes, hey, you got
Speaker 1: some like youth, you pull out your phone and you're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: please tell.
Speaker 2: Me, or tell me if I have lipstick on my teeth.
Speaker 2: I don't know. Am I wrong? Is this acceptable to do?
Speaker 1: I can't even stand to hear people.
Speaker 2: Is there any physical it you had? What about like
Speaker 2: the way people dressed? I will say if a guy
Speaker 2: showed up in like more brands than me, like looking
Speaker 2: really flashy or something, it would give me a bit
Speaker 2: of an egg.
Speaker 1: I would rather that. I don't like. And I'm gonna
Speaker 1: get on the guys about this. I don't like guys
Speaker 1: that don't dress to the occasion. Don't go to the
Speaker 1: steakhouse with your hat on backwards and your golf pullover
Speaker 1: and your jeans and like just guys that don't put
Speaker 1: the effort in and you just think the college sweatshirt
Speaker 1: or the golf pullover fits for every occasion. It doesn't,
Speaker 1: especially when you see your wife or your significant other
Speaker 1: make an effort. Try to match that effort. And if
Speaker 1: you screwed up, which by the way, I've done that before,
Speaker 1: We're going to an event and you'll come out and
Speaker 1: it may not even be a big deal, but you'll
Speaker 1: come out just looking super cute. And I realize, oh,
Speaker 1: I have not I'm not at this level, and I
Speaker 1: go back and I'll grab a jacket, I'll put on
Speaker 1: a different shirt. You should match the level of your's.
Speaker 2: True someone showed up like in a hoodie for a date.
Speaker 2: It's like, okay, well, where's the effort. You're not even trying.
Speaker 1: Even if I don't think the moment warrants that I'm
Speaker 1: going to match you better to be overdressed in y
Speaker 1: I always agree with that. This is an interesting question.
Speaker 1: I really want your opinion on ALI. Is it a
Speaker 1: red flag if my boyfriend doesn't like or let me
Speaker 1: post bikini photos on social media?
Speaker 2: I think it's one hundred percent of red flag. Why
Speaker 2: you yes, okay, go oh you and I feel you know,
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I just remember this from when we
Speaker 2: were dating. Yes, this is funny. Yes, I think it's
Speaker 2: a red flag because it feels like an ownership factor,
Speaker 2: like you can't tell me what to do with my
Speaker 2: body and I'm going to post a bikini photo if
Speaker 2: I want, and it feels controlling.
Speaker 1: I think, Ali, It depends on if you're asking, is
Speaker 1: it a red flag? If my boyfriend doesn't like it,
Speaker 1: is it a red flag? If my boyfriend doesn't let
Speaker 1: me it is It's not even a red flag. It's
Speaker 1: a deal breaker if he won't let you. If he's
Speaker 1: that controlling and has, as Lauren said, ownership over you,
Speaker 1: that's not a thing. So you need to nip that
Speaker 1: in the butt. You need to have a serious conversation
Speaker 1: because nobody should control you to that level. You need
Speaker 1: to do what you want to a certain degree. Now,
Speaker 1: if he doesn't like it, that's not a red flag.
Speaker 1: That just that could very well mean he just loves
Speaker 1: you and really wants you for himself and he has
Speaker 1: this intimacy connection with you and he doesn't want to
Speaker 1: share that part of you to the world. Again, there's
Speaker 1: varying degrees of bikini picks too. How sexy are you being?
Speaker 1: How you know there's there's different levels. But if he
Speaker 1: doesn't like it and he says that to you, no,
Speaker 1: I think that's admitting your feelings and it's being honest,
Speaker 1: and that's a very good conversation to have and that's
Speaker 1: something that's very normal. Again, if he crosses that line
Speaker 1: and says I forbid you, then get in your car.
Speaker 2: Well, have that conversation and see what is issue with
Speaker 2: it is why? Okay, So when we were first dating,
Speaker 2: I hope I'm telling the story right. I think I
Speaker 2: sent you a bikini pick.
Speaker 1: Yes, you did, and you loved it, a red bikini pick.
Speaker 2: I texted it to you, and then you were like
Speaker 2: you told me later that you kind of wondered if
Speaker 2: I was going to post it on social and that
Speaker 2: you were glad I never did that. I had just
Speaker 2: sent it to you because so what was the thinking there?
Speaker 1: Well, my thinking was several fold here. Strategicy is what
Speaker 1: I was thinking. Okay, she sends me this pick, which,
Speaker 1: in guys, it wasn't.
Speaker 2: A nude I just said it was a bikini I know,
Speaker 2: but it was a bikini pick, But why did you
Speaker 2: need to declare?
Speaker 1: Well, but it was it was sexy, Okay, So you
Speaker 1: sent me and I thought it was sexy, and so
Speaker 1: I thought and I said so, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I really loved it. And it made me think, oh,
Speaker 1: she's thinking of me, she likes me. This is going
Speaker 1: well like me, this is going well. I'm feeling these
Speaker 1: things too, and now it's being reciprocated. We're being flirty
Speaker 1: and fun. If she had taken that same picture that
Speaker 1: I thought was special, I thought was meant for me
Speaker 1: and was taken with me and mine, now it's not.
Speaker 2: So it would have taken ful to you. It would
Speaker 2: have felt like a way I thought, We don't know.
Speaker 2: I see what you're saying.
Speaker 1: You're saying hurtful, less meaningful. Now I realize it wasn't
Speaker 1: meant for me. You don't care. It was a first
Speaker 1: trap and I want everybody to comment on it. Got
Speaker 1: it and instead of I just wanted to see what
Speaker 1: you would say about it. By sending it to you,
Speaker 1: I wanted to turn you on and make you think
Speaker 1: of me, which it did. But then if I see, oh,
Speaker 1: by the way, I think I look so hot, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna send it to the world. Yeah, it just takes takes.
Speaker 2: I see that because basically what you're talking about is
Speaker 2: like and honestly, I think there I'm getting. Specifically, there
Speaker 2: might be a difference in like posing it also like
Speaker 2: posting a photo where like you're on the beach with
Speaker 2: your girlfriends on your girls trip and everybody's in a
Speaker 2: swimsuit versus like a super sexish posed bikini photo. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so maybe there's a difference there. Yeah, And I see
Speaker 2: what you're saying, because ultimately it is about like there
Speaker 2: is an element of the person you're dating or your
Speaker 2: partner feeling like, well, are some parts of you and
Speaker 2: some sides of you like special just for us? And
Speaker 2: I do think that's important in relationships.
Speaker 1: And Ali, I understand kind of where you're leading this to,
Speaker 1: which is insecurity and jealousy. Those are difficult subjects because
Speaker 1: some of that I think is healthy and okay, and
Speaker 1: you should want a certain level of discretion and confidence
Speaker 1: between the two of you, things that you guys just share.
Speaker 1: But then those things can go across that line, and
Speaker 1: again there's always that gray area of jealousy can also
Speaker 1: be a toxic thing and controlling and those things can
Speaker 1: be bad. You have to moderate them and have those
Speaker 1: discussions to find out what you're comfortable with and what
Speaker 1: he's comfortable with.
Speaker 2: God, I'm realizing we probably could do a whole podcast
Speaker 2: episode about posting bikini picks. We could, all right, next
Speaker 2: question though, Lucy says, well, yes, we haven't talked about
Speaker 2: this yet. Lucy says, the first Golden Bachelor couple got
Speaker 2: a divorce. What do you guys think Does the Golden
Speaker 2: Bachelor have the potential to be a success?
Speaker 1: Sure, it does, Yeah, I mean I don't know these
Speaker 1: pe Well, here's the question.
Speaker 2: You know what, the question is success in what way?
Speaker 2: Success is a show success? In relationships?
Speaker 1: It's true because as the Bachelor, you know, the show
Speaker 1: was never predicated on the fact that it was successful
Speaker 1: all the time with the marriage, with the marriages, right,
Speaker 1: ratings matter and you know, advertisers buying space on your
Speaker 1: show matters, so that is a success, but also people
Speaker 1: getting married on your show. I mean, overall, the show
Speaker 1: in that regard was not a success and so far
Speaker 1: the Golden Bachelor's Oh, for one, they made it a
Speaker 1: month and so but can it work? Sure? And if
Speaker 1: you're talking about a couple coming successful out of it. Sure,
Speaker 1: it can. You have you know, it's lightning in a bottle.
Speaker 1: You have to get really lucky. A lot of things
Speaker 1: have to happen when you're talking about one couple, and
Speaker 1: so you know, I'll defend the show in this way
Speaker 1: because you know, Bachelor in Paradise, for example, it was
Speaker 1: a lot easier to form couples because we have thirteen
Speaker 1: guys thirteen girls. Well, we have thirteen opportunities to make
Speaker 1: it work, and the pressure is not on you. I
Speaker 1: don't know the gentleman's name, whoever the Golden Bachelor was,
Speaker 1: but that's one guy. He you have one shot, well, right,
Speaker 1: but they all get it work and that's it.
Speaker 2: But they also spend a lot of time picking that
Speaker 2: one person. I mean, there should be a lot of
Speaker 2: time in thought into casting that one person. I will
Speaker 2: say this, I thought about it. I heard the news.
Speaker 2: Obviously you didn't miss the news, but I we didn't
Speaker 2: watch the show at all. So I'm I'm weighing in
Speaker 2: on this without having seen even a clip from this show.
Speaker 2: I don't know if the show was like portrayed, very
Speaker 2: wholesome or if it was very drama E. I didn't
Speaker 2: know how they were going to approach it, since it's
Speaker 2: these like older people who and who have been through
Speaker 2: a lot, if it was wholesomey like I will say,
Speaker 2: I mean, this marriage did not last long. It was
Speaker 2: like a Kim Kardashian a couple months situation.
Speaker 1: A carton of milk that's lasted longer.
Speaker 2: But that did not look good.
Speaker 1: And I think our perception of this show, and I
Speaker 1: think everybody's perception was it would be this wholesome. Of
Speaker 1: course it's going to work. Everybody's here for the quote
Speaker 1: unquote right reasons in this golden phase of right.
Speaker 2: And there are people who've been many people widows and
Speaker 2: I mean widowers, no widows because there was more women.
Speaker 2: But so you would think that these older people would
Speaker 2: have like some perspective on life and really be looking
Speaker 2: for for the person. So the fact that it only
Speaker 2: lasted a couple months, I thought, Okay, that doesn't look
Speaker 2: good for like what the what I thought the vibe
Speaker 2: of the show was. Now that being said, I don't know,
Speaker 2: maybe the fact that it only lasted a couple months
Speaker 2: means older people can be just as dramatic as younger people,
Speaker 2: and maybe it's going to be a really good dramatic show.
Speaker 2: So I don't know.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say maybe the lesson in the takeaway
Speaker 1: here is with age doesn't come wisdoms necessarily necessarily all
Speaker 1: the time.
Speaker 2: Rebecca, Oh, this is an interesting question. I've never asked
Speaker 2: you this, Chris, who did you like on the Bachelor franchise,
Speaker 2: even though America might have hated that person.
Speaker 1: I'll give you a guy and a girl. The guy
Speaker 1: Brad Womack. Brad, Yeah, because he didn't choose anybody, and
Speaker 1: he did it twice and left h solo of both times. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so he just got a bad rap and and and
Speaker 1: and he was. He's such a sweet guy, maybe one
Speaker 1: of the nicest guys that's ever come through the show.
Speaker 1: You know, We've talked to nauseum about what a good
Speaker 1: guy is and how we are close friends. He's somebody
Speaker 1: that I tried to defend and I will defend another
Speaker 1: one who got a bat herap. She's definitely come around
Speaker 1: as America's sweetheart and favorite now. But Michelle Money at
Speaker 1: the time, she wasn't the bacherette, but she was on. Ironically,
Speaker 1: I think she was on Brad Womack's show. She was
Speaker 1: kind of seen as this kind of snarky. She came
Speaker 1: off her sense of humor came off wrong, and she
Speaker 1: was really really vilified early on, and I had to
Speaker 1: defend her at the Women tell All because she was
Speaker 1: getting crushed. And I always thought she was a really
Speaker 1: lovely woman. We've been very good friends. And now her
Speaker 1: and Mike Weir are life partners, the golfer the pro golfer,
Speaker 1: which yeah they are. They got married. And she's just
Speaker 1: a real gem of a human being and a giver
Speaker 1: and a lover, and she always was but her. I
Speaker 1: always appreciated her smart ass sense of humor. It didn't
Speaker 1: go over well on America.
Speaker 2: That's like why they say that comedies are hard to
Speaker 2: translate into different countries because comedy is so interpretive, like
Speaker 2: versus action movies. So I could see that how a
Speaker 2: sense of humor could especially because things are cut and
Speaker 2: edited and shortened. Did she get along well with the
Speaker 2: other women she was on the show?
Speaker 1: Some? I mean some that usually yeah, paint you know
Speaker 1: how it is at the tell all, you they kind
Speaker 1: of turn on her. Then later they're like, oh, she's great. Well,
Speaker 1: but they were crushing her at the tell All though.
Speaker 2: Again I didn't watch that season. It's funny because I
Speaker 2: only knew Michelle, like since you and I started dating,
Speaker 2: as being so lovely, so sweet, and I knew you
Speaker 2: were friends and I one thing I appreciate about you
Speaker 2: is that you show up for people like both your
Speaker 2: and you really stick by people even if they are
Speaker 2: being crushed by others. Like you told me later, didn't
Speaker 2: you go and do some charity stuff like from Michelle's dad?
Speaker 2: What was that?
Speaker 1: Way too young? And so we all went to Salt
Speaker 1: Lake City and appeared for her and supported her for
Speaker 1: that charity. It was phenomenal. And yeah, so she's a
Speaker 1: real gem and but she's somebody her and her and
Speaker 1: Brad Walmeck. I was trying to think of others that
Speaker 1: have been vilified over the years that I've kept in
Speaker 1: touch with, and I was wondering if you could think.
Speaker 2: Of any uh, well, some I think they were vilified
Speaker 2: at the time, but now they've just grown up and
Speaker 2: so it's nice to see them get a second chapter.
Speaker 2: But so I don't think it fun.
Speaker 1: I mean, even Mesnik was crushed, but you know everybody
Speaker 1: once I think he realized, well, I'd put.
Speaker 2: Both Mesnick and Ari in those categories are lined. I crushed.
Speaker 2: At the time, you probably knew behind the scenes they
Speaker 2: were good dudes, but they'd made mistakes in one of them.
Speaker 1: Jason married Molly and we had that very public televised
Speaker 1: wedding and everybody was like, Okay, this is this is
Speaker 1: working and this you know what he initially did with
Speaker 1: Melissa kind of it was the same with Ari. You
Speaker 1: know what he did with Beca. It didn't go over well.
Speaker 1: And then you see he and Lauren have forty kids
Speaker 1: and they're living their life and they're doing well and.
Speaker 2: Ari, I think you know. And by the way, I
Speaker 2: was one of the people who was like critiquing Ari
Speaker 2: at the time on my show Roses and Rose. I
Speaker 2: was because but I look back now and I think
Speaker 2: he was like thrown into the show late. He didn't
Speaker 2: know he was going to be with the Bachelor for
Speaker 2: very long. He wasn't like prepared to go be on
Speaker 2: reality TV again, and I think you could see that
Speaker 2: in the show. And yeah, now him and Lauren are
Speaker 2: one of the success stories, and you officiated their wedding.
Speaker 2: But I appreciate that you stood by him too and
Speaker 2: defended him all.
Speaker 1: The way to the altar. Yeah, married them in Hawaii.
Speaker 1: That was a beautiful wedding. And he was one of
Speaker 1: the most tumultuous, kind of controversial choices of Bachelor because.
Speaker 2: Everyone went who.
Speaker 1: Well, we were going back and forth on who it
Speaker 1: was going to be, and.
Speaker 2: At some point point, I'd love for you to share.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you can. I'm not telling you
Speaker 2: to do it now. No, it's just there. I know
Speaker 2: there are people over the years, like in those moments
Speaker 2: when it was like who, because there were these front
Speaker 2: runners and guys or women people loved for the leads,
Speaker 2: and then they didn't become the lead. And I know
Speaker 2: that the franchise never I mean as a journalist covering it,
Speaker 2: they would never like say, and I don't know if
Speaker 2: it was for privacy reasons for these people or what,
Speaker 2: but they would never really answer why like this beloved
Speaker 2: guy who seemed to be a fan favorite and seemed
Speaker 2: to have it all wasn't chosen for the Bachelor. Yeah,
Speaker 2: can you give an a general response to why the
Speaker 2: fans didn't get those answers?
Speaker 1: There were a lot of reasons because there's so many
Speaker 1: chefs in the kitchen. First of all, you're dealing with
Speaker 1: a couple of people at the top of the show,
Speaker 1: you know, the creator of the show, the head of
Speaker 1: the network, and then it would go all the way
Speaker 1: to the president of the network, and so this person
Speaker 1: deciding the lead, Yeah, deciding the lead, and so so
Speaker 1: many people would have an initial say and then another say,
Speaker 1: and so again there were just so many chefs in
Speaker 1: the kitchen that eventually sometimes the soup turns out great.
Speaker 1: Sometimes there's too much crap thrown in it and it
Speaker 1: gets ruined.
Speaker 2: I see what you're saying, and that you know, maybe
Speaker 2: one person who's like maybe closer to the show and
Speaker 2: working on it more regularly, is like the fans love
Speaker 2: this person and they're great, but then what by the
Speaker 2: time it gets up to someone at the top, Yeah, they're.
Speaker 1: Like, but he doesn't have you know, but he doesn't have.
Speaker 2: A doctorate, and we want someone smart this season, and
Speaker 2: they're making those kinds of way in Yeah, And.
Speaker 1: There's and there's some TV reasons of sometimes maybe a
Speaker 1: person we've shown you and how they were edited on
Speaker 1: the show is not maybe how we think they would
Speaker 1: be as the bachelor of Bacherette, and someone is a
Speaker 1: better talker or better.
Speaker 2: Better contestant than they would be a lead.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And so there's a difference between being a good contestant,
Speaker 1: being a good lead, and carrying the show. And there's
Speaker 1: there's so many factors that go into it. You know.
Speaker 1: I always said when people got mad, I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: glad you get mad, because that means you care about
Speaker 1: the show and you're vested in it, and that's wonderful
Speaker 1: that you have an opinion. But just know that there's
Speaker 1: so much that goes into it and it's not and
Speaker 1: I hate to use this phrase because it's it drives
Speaker 1: me crazy sometimes, but it's nothing personal. A lot of
Speaker 1: times it wasn't It wasn't personal. It's you know, there
Speaker 1: was a business decision or who they thought, you know,
Speaker 1: was getting maybe two out of hand and they could
Speaker 1: control better, who they could produce better.
Speaker 2: Were there ever things when people were cleared to be contestants,
Speaker 2: But then I don't know if there's an extra layer
Speaker 2: of like digging deep on them before they became lead,
Speaker 2: and then like what things came to light and stuff
Speaker 2: like that.
Speaker 1: For sure, there was one very definite case where everybody
Speaker 1: really thought and wanted one person and then I was
Speaker 1: told later for legal reasons, this person cannot be the Bachelor.
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, gotcha, And so we had to move off,
Speaker 1: and you can't say that. You can't say why that
Speaker 1: person was excluded, and you can't explain it for legal reasons.
Speaker 1: You can't explain it either for defamation and all these
Speaker 1: other issues. And so there's those things where you just
Speaker 1: have to swallow it, and legally you got to move
Speaker 1: on and pick another bachelor Bacherette, and so, but there's
Speaker 1: also those things where I thought, this is the worst
Speaker 1: choice in the world, and this is going to be
Speaker 1: a boring season, and then Sean Loh turns out to
Speaker 1: be the best Bachelor ever, and so you just you
Speaker 1: just never know. You never know what's going to resonate.
Speaker 1: Which leads me to maybe our last question. That's really
Speaker 1: good and I find this interesting because I want to
Speaker 1: know what you think. Bo asked a very poignant question.
Speaker 1: Do you worry that your new show won't live up
Speaker 1: to expectations?
Speaker 2: Gosh, what do you think the expectations are?
Speaker 1: Drama?
Speaker 2: If you've do you have an answer? It sounds like
Speaker 2: you've been thinking about it for a second.
Speaker 1: I've thought about this and though it's a great question.
Speaker 1: I think it's a wonderful question, and I think this
Speaker 1: says a lot about the way I think about things. No,
Speaker 1: I don't worry about it living up to expectations. I've
Speaker 1: never I don't do things worrying if they're going to fail.
Speaker 1: I live life actually kind of daring to fail. And
Speaker 1: I think that's an important distinction to make, and it's
Speaker 1: a great way to live doing things like what would
Speaker 1: you do if you knew you couldn't fail? That's how
Speaker 1: I live. And so this show could fail, it could
Speaker 1: be bad, it could also be the greatest show ever
Speaker 1: it's or somewhere in between. You can't do things only
Speaker 1: if you know they're going to succeed, or thinking I'm
Speaker 1: only going to do it if it wins, because then
Speaker 1: you're just going to guard yourself against failure all the time.
Speaker 1: And that's not how great things are made. That's not
Speaker 1: how great art is made.
Speaker 2: You just hit the nail on the head. I think
Speaker 2: that's such a topic in Hollywood period right now, not
Speaker 2: just for us. I've seen so many headlines lately, people
Speaker 2: like Emily Blunt weighing in and saying that like Hollywood
Speaker 2: is in such a dangerous spot right now, because literally
Speaker 2: whether shows are greenlit or not is being decided by algorithms. Yeah,
Speaker 2: like streamers saying, well, we plugged it into our algorithm
Speaker 2: and we don't think that will be a hit. So no,
Speaker 2: And if Hollywood had operated like that for the past
Speaker 2: hundred years that it's been around, Citizen Kane, a three hour,
Speaker 2: you know, black and white movie about a sled, wouldn't
Speaker 2: have been made, The Godfather.
Speaker 1: Wouldn't have been made, Shawshank Redemption.
Speaker 2: I mean, all these movies that are classics and TV
Speaker 2: shows wouldn't have been made. And art is about touching people,
Speaker 2: and I don't think an algorithm can read into how
Speaker 2: to do that. And I think you're so right that
Speaker 2: you have to make something that you feel as good
Speaker 2: and then hope that it resonates with people. You can't
Speaker 2: make something trying. It's like trying to make a clip
Speaker 2: go viral, Like that's going to be a lot harder
Speaker 2: than just you captured a really emotional, incredible clip and
Speaker 2: it touched people.
Speaker 1: And bo I have made things that I thought were
Speaker 1: unbelievable in my mind, and I left thinking they were
Speaker 1: great and they didn't go well, and then I've made
Speaker 1: things that I thought were just okay, and they turned
Speaker 1: out to be the biggest shows in television history. So
Speaker 1: it's just, you know, that's the other thing. There's no
Speaker 1: way to predict, and so you have to do what
Speaker 1: you think is right. You make those choices as a producer,
Speaker 1: as a host, and that goes into music, it goes
Speaker 1: into everything. You have to dare to be great and
Speaker 1: take those shots. And then that's the kind of the
Speaker 1: scary thing about our business is then you just you
Speaker 1: wake up the next morning and you hope people watched.
Speaker 1: And I also know that you know people are going
Speaker 1: to take shots at it. People come after you when
Speaker 1: you know heavy as head that where's the crown? Well,
Speaker 1: that's what happens too. People are going to take shots.
Speaker 1: And that's fine. That emotion and that fervor from people
Speaker 1: is a good thing. I want you to feel something
Speaker 1: about it. All good art makes you feel something. It
Speaker 1: might make you feel angry, excited, mad, sad, whatever it is.
Speaker 1: Empathy is what kills. I want that feeling so bo.
Speaker 1: That is a great deeper question and I very much
Speaker 1: appreciate it. Good note to end on, everybody, go out there.
Speaker 2: And make something you love, make something you feel good about.
Speaker 1: What would you attempt to do if you knew you
Speaker 1: could not fail?
Speaker 2: I know you have that on them. I do a
Speaker 2: right over there quote on our desk from next to
Speaker 2: the picture of your grandfather exactly. She's very swirting.
Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much, Thank you, We love you,
Speaker 1: love the questions. Really appreciate it, and we will do
Speaker 1: it again next time because we have a lot more
Speaker 1: to talk about. Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram
Speaker 1: at the most dramatic pod ever, and make sure to
Speaker 1: write us a review and leave us five stars. I'll
Speaker 1: talk to you next time.