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Speaker 1: This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.

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Speaker 1: Chris Harrison and Lauren Z mccoveany from the home office

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Speaker 1: in Austin, Texas love shows like Today because well, it's

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Speaker 1: about you, guys. We reached out and said, hey, what

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Speaker 1: questions do you have for LZ and I. It's always

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Speaker 1: a moment of trepidation excitement as we find out what's

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Speaker 1: on your mind and what you guys want to talk about.

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Speaker 1: Elsie one of the things that I know we got

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Speaker 1: questioned about and we can jump into it right away.

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Speaker 1: Merritt Street and how things are going? Where are you guys,

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Speaker 1: and how's the network going?

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Speaker 2: I know, And there's still this element of like, people

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Speaker 2: ask when are you going to be on merit and

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Speaker 2: I feel bad because we're working on it. We are

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Speaker 2: in the process of staffing up for our morning show.

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Speaker 2: I think we can give that update. We are interviewing

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Speaker 2: candidates for our morning show team and staff, and we

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Speaker 2: are in the process. Well why don't you give the

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Speaker 2: reality dating show?

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Speaker 1: The reality dating show? And people have asked more details

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Speaker 1: about it, and we're not going to get into the

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Speaker 1: concept of it yet, but what we will say is

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Speaker 1: we are starting the you know again, kind of like

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Speaker 1: the Morning Show, the production phase. We're going to get

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Speaker 1: into casting and putting the show together and then, you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm not sure. I hadn't thought about this when we

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Speaker 1: would talk about the concept and when all that stuff

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Speaker 1: will get out, But well down the road, I don't

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Speaker 1: think it is the time to know. It's definitely not yet,

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Speaker 1: but but we do. Yes, we're very very good. We

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Speaker 1: love the team we've put together, the people were working with,

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Speaker 1: the people were working for, the Merritt family has been

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Speaker 1: fantastic and Doctor Phil and Joel Cheatwood and everybody over

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Speaker 1: there Phil McIntyre. So it's just been more and more

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Speaker 1: exciting and I will have more and more Doctor Phil

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Speaker 1: episodes popping up. I'll let you guys know via social

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Speaker 1: media when I will be on. Who knows when you're

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Speaker 1: listening to this, but I know May seventh, there's one

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Speaker 1: coming up. We're talking about the Nil College deal, so

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Speaker 1: that one will be airing, so I'll let you guys know.

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Speaker 1: But exciting stuff, and everything's going phenomenally well over there.

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Speaker 1: That is the Merritt Street update. And by the way,

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Speaker 1: Elsie looks up our next question. You can download the

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Speaker 1: free app Merit Plus to watch free on any Apple devices.

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Speaker 1: And also you can go to merritt Street dot com

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Speaker 1: and then you can put in your zip codes. You

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Speaker 1: can find out how to watch on Dish, how to

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Speaker 1: watch on direct and as we are adding subscribers, you

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Speaker 1: can find out where you can watch. So there you go.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I'm going to dive in with a hot question.

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Speaker 2: Send an anonymously. This is a relationships question. How long

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Speaker 2: should you wait to have sex in a new relationship?

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Speaker 2: I have my answer.

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Speaker 1: Okay, you have a definite you have like a.

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Speaker 2: I don't have a number. I just have a formula.

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Speaker 1: Okay, formula that's even better.

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Speaker 2: I think it's proportionate to you and where you're at

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Speaker 2: in your life. Oh yeah, okay, And by that I

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Speaker 2: mean and it's also your age is another part of

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Speaker 2: that math equation. I do think, like I don't think

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Speaker 2: people in their late teens early twenties. I think that

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Speaker 2: at that age and I'm making a sweeping generalization, but

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Speaker 2: I think at that age a lot of people think, oh,

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Speaker 2: I can just took up with someone and like I

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Speaker 2: won't have any feelings. I also think there can be

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Speaker 2: a difference between how males and females really feel in

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Speaker 2: those situations. But if you're at that age and you're

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Speaker 2: I think you just need to be honest with yourself.

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Speaker 2: Are you convincing yourself, Oh, I can sleep with someone

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Speaker 2: right away, I won't get attached. I think at that

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Speaker 2: age of life you get more attached. Our feelings are big.

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Speaker 2: At that age you have big obsessions, big swings. Breakups

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Speaker 2: are hard. The older you get, the more in control

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Speaker 2: of your own feelings you hopefully become. If you're maturing

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Speaker 2: and growing and working on yourself. And I do think

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Speaker 2: the older you get, and especially as you know more

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Speaker 2: of what you want, it can be easier to lessen

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Speaker 2: how much time you become, like the length of time

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Speaker 2: which you wait to be come intimate with someone. What

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Speaker 2: do you think?

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Speaker 1: I think when it comes to having sex, buyer beware

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Speaker 1: you need to know yourself, is what I'm saying. Know

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Speaker 1: what you want out of this, And Lauren just hit

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Speaker 1: the nail on the head. You have to be honest

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Speaker 1: with yourself. I think we fool ourselves a lot and

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Speaker 1: think you can do something and there's going to be

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Speaker 1: no emotional tax. There is an emotional tax to it.

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Speaker 1: If you're just going to jump and sleep around, and

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Speaker 1: just know this. It does change things. The sex changes things.

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Speaker 1: And if you want more out of a relationship, if

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Speaker 1: you want this to go somewhere, if you think there's

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Speaker 1: a possibility of it being meaningful, then you need to

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Speaker 1: treat it as such. You need to have respect for it.

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Speaker 1: And I'm not being the old traditional you know, there's

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Speaker 1: no definite time stamp of two dates, three dates, five

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Speaker 1: dates a year, whatever. It's different for all of us,

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Speaker 1: but there is a level of respect you need to

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Speaker 1: have if you want something serious out of this relationship.

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Speaker 1: If you're going to just bop around on the first

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Speaker 1: date and you're going to be treated as such, well,

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Speaker 1: I don't be surprised when you are.

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Speaker 2: I think sex either makes things quickly less meaningful, like oh,

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Speaker 2: this is just a hookup, or it makes things quickly

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Speaker 2: more meaningful like oh what are we now? And now

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Speaker 2: we're intimate, and it accelerates things that.

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Speaker 1: Can go either way. So yes, just be what do

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Speaker 1: you want there be that can go either way for

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Speaker 1: the guy girl or.

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Speaker 2: Advice is when it comes to sex, buyer beware.

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Speaker 1: Yes, well it's all right.

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Speaker 2: Jimmy wants to know a little bit more a little

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Speaker 2: bit of a sex question. If your partner cheats on you,

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Speaker 2: do you think there is ever a chance of making

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Speaker 2: it work? Since I'm asking these questions, my answer is

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Speaker 2: a little more ready swall you think on it? I

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Speaker 2: do think so. I think I'm just a believer that

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Speaker 2: relationships people make mistakes. I don't know, I've never gone

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Speaker 2: into any relationship really Like, I'm not that person who's

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Speaker 2: like things are black or white and if you do this,

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Speaker 2: it's over forever. I think guy make mistakes. I think

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Speaker 2: everybody makes mistakes, and it's totally case by case in

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Speaker 2: a relationship. And what's always proportionate to me or meaningful

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Speaker 2: to me rather is one what was the intent when

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Speaker 2: the person messed up? Were they being totally careless with you?

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Speaker 2: Were they trying to hurt you? Or were they traumatized

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Speaker 2: and hurt in some way themselves which created a mistake,

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Speaker 2: Like where's their heart at and what's the intent? And two,

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Speaker 2: what's the effort on them fixing what they did? How

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Speaker 2: committed are they? How much real work are they doing?

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Speaker 2: And whether it's cheating or I don't know, hiding a

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Speaker 2: gambling dead or abusing alcohol or whatever it is, I

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Speaker 2: think those two things always tell me whether you should

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Speaker 2: stay in a relationship.

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Speaker 1: This is another one that kind of, like the sex questions,

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Speaker 1: very age and experience dependent, right. I think when we're younger,

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Speaker 1: we have this kind of very black and white thought

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Speaker 1: of the world.

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Speaker 2: And cheaters are bad.

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Speaker 1: Well, it's it's almost like you see you're evil. You

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Speaker 1: see what some of the college kids are doing now

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Speaker 1: with their ideas and their thoughts and the kind of

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Speaker 1: revolution they got going on. It's like everything's very black

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Speaker 1: and white. Right. It's that's when you're younger. I think

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Speaker 1: you're able to have those things. As you get older,

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Speaker 1: you realize there's a big gray area in life and

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Speaker 1: you realize there's a lot of perspectives and you got

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Speaker 1: to take things in and like Lauren said, it kind

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Speaker 1: of depends. It really depends on the person and in

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Speaker 1: the experience and how they talk about it. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: I just would say life's not so black and white.

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Speaker 1: So the older you get, I think there is much

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Speaker 1: more of that ability.

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Speaker 2: I think what you're talking about too, is like knowing

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Speaker 2: what you don't know, which is a phrase you say

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Speaker 2: a lot, like, for example, I've said this for a

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Speaker 2: long time, part of the reason I would never say,

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Speaker 2: if you if you know this person, sheets be done

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Speaker 2: with them. I have no idea what it's like to

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Speaker 2: be in a marriage for thirty years, right, I have

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Speaker 2: no idea what it's like to be married to someone

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Speaker 2: who I don't know is I'm just I knowing has

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Speaker 2: been ill for many years. I don't know what arrangements

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Speaker 2: people have in relationships. I don't know what it's like

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Speaker 2: to be like. I do know people who have cheated

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Speaker 2: in situations where I'm sorry they were I knew that

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Speaker 2: they were in a marriage with someone who was deeply

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Speaker 2: mentally and emotionally abusive, like and eventually that marriage ended

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Speaker 2: and they were just trying to find a way out

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Speaker 2: and they were in a tough situation. Yeah, so I

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Speaker 2: just don't you know, you don't know what you haven't experienced,

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Speaker 2: I guess, and you have to try to be empathetic.

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Speaker 1: Definitely not a one size fits all answer.

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Speaker 2: I'll keep going, and then you should take over some

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Speaker 2: of these so that I don't have to be answering.

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Speaker 1: First, you're the best host. Wow, thanks all answer first

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Speaker 1: you can?

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Speaker 2: Okay, all right, let me throw it at you. Amy says,

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Speaker 2: are there any people from Bachelor Nation that you wish

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Speaker 2: you had maintained a friendship with who you didn't.

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Speaker 1: No, nobody that I wish i'd maintained. Because I have.

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Speaker 1: I've maintained these relationships. There are people I well, lots

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Speaker 1: of them that I wish I saw more. There are

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Speaker 1: so many, you know. One of the beautiful things about

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Speaker 1: our wedding was we got to see so many of

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Speaker 1: them because you know, Ashley and Jared, you know, Jade

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Speaker 1: and Tanner, like, we just don't get to see.

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Speaker 2: Them, especially because the pandemic yea Tristan Rossau just from

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Speaker 2: having events for so everybody's just spread around the country.

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Speaker 2: And so you know, Bob Getey, I don't even know

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Speaker 2: if he lives in America, somewhere in the Pacific Northwest,

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Speaker 2: I don't know, but I don't get to see him

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Speaker 2: enough and talk to you know, so we text and

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Speaker 2: we keep in touch. But I wish I could see

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Speaker 2: them more, because when we all do get together for

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Speaker 2: whatever reason, it's always such a lovely time. You know,

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Speaker 2: it was somebody who I think you'd loved but hadn't

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Speaker 2: kept in touch with as much. But we've reconnected with

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Speaker 2: a bit here and we need to see him again soon,

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Speaker 2: as Brad Walmack.

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Speaker 1: Yeah again. Yeah, I mean he's and he's right under

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Speaker 1: our nose here in Austin.

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Speaker 2: But I mean when we first moved here, we got

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Speaker 2: dinner and you were like, oh, it was so good

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Speaker 2: to see you. So let's call Brad Walmack.

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Speaker 1: Let's call Brad Walmack. Yes. You know, if there's a

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Speaker 1: takeaway from this podcast today, Brad, you're buying this dinner soon.

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Speaker 2: I don't think it's about it's all a wish that

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Speaker 2: we could see people more. You're right, I like sometimes

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Speaker 2: people pop up on Instagram and you feel like you're

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Speaker 2: seeing them, but that in person hang is always better.

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Speaker 2: But it's hard. Everybody's spread out everywhere and busy. But

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Speaker 2: it's great to be in a place where you want

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Speaker 2: to hang out with people and talk to them more.

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Speaker 2: Grace is wondering what is your least favorite and most

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Speaker 2: favorite job that you have had over the years.

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Speaker 1: What if it's the same one. I've had a lot

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Speaker 1: of jobs, man, I've had a lot of jobs. I

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Speaker 1: guess the craziest, happiest time of was beginning my sportscasting careers.

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Speaker 1: Just everything was new. I was starting the adventure of

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Speaker 1: launching this career. This is back in ninety three when

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Speaker 1: I graduated and I started working Oklahoma City, and it

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Speaker 1: was so new, and I was covering things for the

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Speaker 1: first time and doing things and making mistakes and learning

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Speaker 1: at such a high level. It was like drinking from

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Speaker 1: a fire hydrant. And luckily I had some amazing mentors

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Speaker 1: around me to teach me and and groom me, and

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Speaker 1: I worked hard at my craft. That was maybe my

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Speaker 1: most enjoyable time because it was so hard and fun

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Speaker 1: and just the reward, the risk reward was so high.

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Speaker 2: And it's good to build something.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, and again the Bachelor, We've talked about

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Speaker 1: it a lot. At the beginning it was wonderful, but

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Speaker 1: the beginning of it all was the best because you're

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Speaker 1: creating it all and it was so new and everything's

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Speaker 1: happening for the first time, and you know the travel

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Speaker 1: and even press and learning how to do it all

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Speaker 1: and handle it. That's exciting. What about you.

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Speaker 2: Least favorite job? Part time employee at Target In high

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Speaker 2: school and college, people are really mean to part time

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Speaker 2: employees at Darks. They are madam you and I didn't

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Speaker 2: know specific information and prices about every single object at

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Speaker 2: the store.

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Speaker 1: Would be nice to those Those folks work in the

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Speaker 1: summer jobs at Target.

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Speaker 2: Well, I mean I was like, I'm a they I mean.

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Speaker 1: The next laurenz em Well, they just talk.

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Speaker 2: Down to you. They assume you're stupid, whether because you're

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Speaker 2: young or I I don't know. And yeah, they were

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Speaker 2: just really uh also so careless, Like would just drop

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Speaker 2: clothes on the floor and leave them in the clothing section.

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Speaker 2: I stupidly, as a teenager, thought, I like clothes, I'll

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Speaker 2: work in the clothing section. No, if you are getting

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Speaker 2: a part time job as a high schooler at a

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Speaker 2: place like a Target, be a cashier, the day goes

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Speaker 2: by so much faster and you just get to stand

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Speaker 2: in place and you were like running around and dealing

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Speaker 2: with a lot of people and it just goes by slowly.

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Speaker 2: So best best job I've ever had. I mean, I

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Speaker 2: loved doing Roses and Rose. Yeah, because that was this

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Speaker 2: combination of like doing news but making it funny and

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Speaker 2: giving it this comedic twist. And I don't think we've

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Speaker 2: said this, but I will say I I guess we

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Speaker 2: can reveal that part of our plan with the new

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Speaker 2: reality dating show would be that I will do an

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Speaker 2: after show for it. Oh yeah, much like Roses and Rose.

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Speaker 1: We definitely should say that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so that's the plan. Maybe we won't share the

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Speaker 2: concept yet, but the idea would be Chris will host

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Speaker 2: the show and I will do an after show. And

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Speaker 2: I will absolutely relish doing that again because I loved

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Speaker 2: and working on the Yeah, yes, but I loved like

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Speaker 2: that comedic spin. I love getting Truly, what makes me happy,

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Speaker 2: however I can do it, is making people happy. I

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Speaker 2: don't think I like that. I've realized that about myself.

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Speaker 2: I just love making people laugh. But you know you

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Speaker 2: need the right venue to do it in. It's like

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Speaker 2: even on the podcast. Someday, you know, we get like

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Speaker 2: more in depth here, but it's not the venue of

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Speaker 2: like that ridiculous side of me where I was drinking

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Speaker 2: wine and comparing the show to Game of Thrones and

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Speaker 2: like Taylor Swift albums and doing crossovers of everything I loved.

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Speaker 1: I forgot, I didn't say my worst. I was on

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Speaker 1: the sand and finished crew of a floor company at

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Speaker 1: French Brown Floors in Dallas, Texas summer job. When you

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Speaker 1: sand and finish floors like our hardwood floor, you just

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Speaker 1: hold this like seventy five pound machine as you're bent

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Speaker 1: over all day in a one hundred and eight degree

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Speaker 1: house because you can't have the air conditioning on because

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Speaker 1: of all the dust, and it's just a miserable job.

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Speaker 1: It's what kept me in college. I'm like, I will

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Speaker 1: get my degree. I will not do this.

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Speaker 2: That was But what's great is that you still remember

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Speaker 2: those skills and you yourself. I sand did and finished

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Speaker 2: our outdoor table, as I.

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Speaker 1: Didn't sand and finish anything like.

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Speaker 2: That, and I didn't trust him. I have to admit

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Speaker 2: He's like, I know what to do, and I'm like, babe,

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Speaker 2: that's an expensive table. I'm sure you know. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Maybe we should call someone. No, you knew what to do.

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Speaker 2: Any question of questioned you.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to ask this next question because it's kind

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Speaker 1: of sporty because the first Saturday and May is coming up.

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Speaker 1: They're going to the Kentucky Derby. We're not going this year.

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Speaker 1: But Elsie tips, well.

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Speaker 2: We're not going, and I shouldn't say we didn't have

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Speaker 2: a bad time and we got invited to.

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Speaker 1: Go, We got graduation, we had stuff, and we just

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Speaker 1: can't do it.

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Speaker 2: We just couldn't fit it in, but we were invited

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Speaker 2: and would have been happy to go again. So tips

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Speaker 2: enjoy it. I wish I'd put a little more time,

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Speaker 2: like I put time into the outfit, but put time

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Speaker 2: into the outfit. That's don't make it an afterthought, make

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Speaker 2: it a focus and the hat can I.

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Speaker 1: Ask a question on behalf of women that you need

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Speaker 1: to answer. What's the shoe situation? What should I be wearing?

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Speaker 1: Shoe wise?

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Speaker 2: That's what's so hard. You have to do a lot

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Speaker 2: of walking, Yeah, a lot of walking. Yet you want

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Speaker 2: to be wearing heels because your outfit's cute, whatever your

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Speaker 2: comfort is. You know, that's tough.

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Speaker 1: Because by the way, they do sell flip flops, Like

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Speaker 1: there's kids with flip flops right outside the door as

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Speaker 1: you walk out, because they know everybody walks out.

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Speaker 2: Yes, it's like a wedding when they have flip flops

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Speaker 2: after dancing, like you are gonna want to be. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: there's so much walking because it's so small where the

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Speaker 2: derby is and it's on all these tiny little streets

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Speaker 2: that like cars can't get to you, like you have

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Speaker 2: to walk to get out of it all. So yeah,

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Speaker 2: enjoy yourself and try what's the signature drink.

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Speaker 1: I forget the mint Julip.

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Speaker 2: Is it the mintulap? Yes, but they have like a

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Speaker 2: special way they do it.

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Speaker 1: I thought mint julip.

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Speaker 2: Can't remember, but give it a whirl.

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Speaker 1: That is the drink. And by the way, for your

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Speaker 1: handicapping tips, look at some of these races, the Arkansas Derby,

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Speaker 1: Louisiana Derby, the Florida Derby, Lot of Lot, and don't

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Speaker 1: just look at the winner of those races. Look at

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Speaker 1: who may have finished second, very close, may have had

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Speaker 1: a bad trip. Look at those races for those three

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Speaker 1: year olds coming up, have a blast. One hundred and

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Speaker 1: fiftieth Kentucky Derby's coming up. It is a milestone. It

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Speaker 1: is a trip to Louisville. You won't forget. For all

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Speaker 1: of our friends we made last year in Louisville, we

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Speaker 1: miss you, guys. Will we will be back, but we

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Speaker 1: just got some big family and life events coming up

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Speaker 1: that we just can't miss it for. But we'll be

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Speaker 1: watching on NBC. We appreciate it. Should I ask this

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Speaker 1: question from Mary, what are some IX like and I

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Speaker 1: mean like ikey like ooh ick, babe.

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Speaker 2: I don't think that you know what this is referencing.

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Speaker 2: So let me help you people today save the ick

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Speaker 2: like wh it gives me the ick? You know, no

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Speaker 2: one's saying ikey, but like you.

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Speaker 1: I just meant like I was trying to explain because

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Speaker 1: I didn't know if if you hear that, am I

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Speaker 1: enunciating it?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 2: So yes? So Mary's asking, what are some ix you

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Speaker 2: used to get from someone if they would say or

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Speaker 2: do something on the first few dates? So basically what

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Speaker 2: gave us the ick? Go ahead?

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Speaker 1: I just remember the one I got the ick from

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Speaker 1: was a bad conversationalist, someone who didn't ask me one

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Speaker 1: question the entire night, didn't ask one question. I just

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Speaker 1: which is odd because I did this to you, or

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Speaker 1: maybe you did this to me. I'm not sure which,

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Speaker 1: but I'm glad we made it through that ick stage.

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Speaker 1: But uh, someone who doesn't ever ask about you and

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Speaker 1: they just talk incessantly about themselves, that's an ick.

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Speaker 2: That's funny. I was gonna say the same thing. That's

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Speaker 2: my ick in romantic relationships and friendships and work relationships.

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Speaker 2: That's my human ick. If a person never can go like,

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Speaker 2: I want to know about you, And Chris is saying,

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Speaker 2: if you haven't heard us tell this story. On our

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Speaker 2: first date, I and I always say give people a

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Speaker 2: second date. I think the first date's an interview. It's hard,

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Speaker 2: people are nervous.

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Speaker 1: So airs wasn't perfect.

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Speaker 2: No, it was great. But I'll usually give people a

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Speaker 2: second date if they I mean not anymore. But you know,

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Speaker 2: if there were one or two things off, I'd still

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Speaker 2: give a second date because first dates are weird.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's funny, we both have the same ick.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, But on our first date, I felt like Chris

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Speaker 2: did talk about himself quite a lot. But we talked

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Speaker 2: about it later and he said, I felt like you

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Speaker 2: wanted to interview mode and asked me a million questions.

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Speaker 2: So that might have been my fault. And by the way,

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Speaker 2: I have an awareness. I tend to do that. I

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Speaker 2: like love people's stories, and so I asked them all questions.

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Speaker 2: But I'm not looking for a lot back. I'm not

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Speaker 2: looking for the same level back. But if you don't

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Speaker 2: give me even a how are you, where are you from,

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Speaker 2: or what do you do for work, I'm very turned off.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to interact with that person anymore because

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Speaker 2: to me, any relationship is a two way straight any

401
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Speaker 2: physical x oh I have a physical I really hate

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Speaker 2: someone has they I guess they must feel they have

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Speaker 2: food in their mouth or something, and they reach back

404
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Speaker 2: into their mouth and dig food out of their teeth.

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Speaker 2: And again, I mean that anytime anywhere, Like, I don't

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Speaker 2: ever want to see that. It's so gross. Yeah, it's disgusting,

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Speaker 2: and I've seen people do it in very public situations

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Speaker 2: and maybe I'm weird. Is it socially.

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Speaker 1: Acceptable to this? Is if someone goes, hey, you got

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Speaker 1: some like youth, you pull out your phone and you're like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: please tell.

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Speaker 2: Me, or tell me if I have lipstick on my teeth.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. Am I wrong? Is this acceptable to do?

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Speaker 1: I can't even stand to hear people.

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Speaker 2: Is there any physical it you had? What about like

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Speaker 2: the way people dressed? I will say if a guy

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Speaker 2: showed up in like more brands than me, like looking

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Speaker 2: really flashy or something, it would give me a bit

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Speaker 2: of an egg.

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Speaker 1: I would rather that. I don't like. And I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: get on the guys about this. I don't like guys

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Speaker 1: that don't dress to the occasion. Don't go to the

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Speaker 1: steakhouse with your hat on backwards and your golf pullover

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Speaker 1: and your jeans and like just guys that don't put

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Speaker 1: the effort in and you just think the college sweatshirt

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Speaker 1: or the golf pullover fits for every occasion. It doesn't,

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Speaker 1: especially when you see your wife or your significant other

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Speaker 1: make an effort. Try to match that effort. And if

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Speaker 1: you screwed up, which by the way, I've done that before,

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Speaker 1: We're going to an event and you'll come out and

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Speaker 1: it may not even be a big deal, but you'll

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Speaker 1: come out just looking super cute. And I realize, oh,

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Speaker 1: I have not I'm not at this level, and I

434
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,040
Speaker 1: go back and I'll grab a jacket, I'll put on

435
00:20:55,119 --> 00:21:00,119
Speaker 1: a different shirt. You should match the level of your's.

436
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,880
Speaker 2: True someone showed up like in a hoodie for a date.

437
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,040
Speaker 2: It's like, okay, well, where's the effort. You're not even trying.

438
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:10,160
Speaker 1: Even if I don't think the moment warrants that I'm

439
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:12,200
Speaker 1: going to match you better to be overdressed in y

440
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:15,440
Speaker 1: I always agree with that. This is an interesting question.

441
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:18,600
Speaker 1: I really want your opinion on ALI. Is it a

442
00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:21,560
Speaker 1: red flag if my boyfriend doesn't like or let me

443
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,080
Speaker 1: post bikini photos on social media?

444
00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:27,040
Speaker 2: I think it's one hundred percent of red flag. Why

445
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:30,280
Speaker 2: you yes, okay, go oh you and I feel you know,

446
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:31,840
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I just remember this from when we

447
00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:35,800
Speaker 2: were dating. Yes, this is funny. Yes, I think it's

448
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:40,720
Speaker 2: a red flag because it feels like an ownership factor,

449
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:44,040
Speaker 2: like you can't tell me what to do with my

450
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:46,520
Speaker 2: body and I'm going to post a bikini photo if

451
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:47,880
Speaker 2: I want, and it feels controlling.

452
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:52,560
Speaker 1: I think, Ali, It depends on if you're asking, is

453
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:55,240
Speaker 1: it a red flag? If my boyfriend doesn't like it,

454
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 1: is it a red flag? If my boyfriend doesn't let

455
00:21:57,280 --> 00:22:00,320
Speaker 1: me it is It's not even a red flag. It's

456
00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:02,840
Speaker 1: a deal breaker if he won't let you. If he's

457
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:07,719
Speaker 1: that controlling and has, as Lauren said, ownership over you,

458
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:10,639
Speaker 1: that's not a thing. So you need to nip that

459
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:12,400
Speaker 1: in the butt. You need to have a serious conversation

460
00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:14,880
Speaker 1: because nobody should control you to that level. You need

461
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,800
Speaker 1: to do what you want to a certain degree. Now,

462
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:20,600
Speaker 1: if he doesn't like it, that's not a red flag.

463
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:24,600
Speaker 1: That just that could very well mean he just loves

464
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:28,440
Speaker 1: you and really wants you for himself and he has

465
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,600
Speaker 1: this intimacy connection with you and he doesn't want to

466
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,960
Speaker 1: share that part of you to the world. Again, there's

467
00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:38,240
Speaker 1: varying degrees of bikini picks too. How sexy are you being?

468
00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:41,359
Speaker 1: How you know there's there's different levels. But if he

469
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:44,119
Speaker 1: doesn't like it and he says that to you, no,

470
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:47,080
Speaker 1: I think that's admitting your feelings and it's being honest,

471
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:49,360
Speaker 1: and that's a very good conversation to have and that's

472
00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:53,240
Speaker 1: something that's very normal. Again, if he crosses that line

473
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 1: and says I forbid you, then get in your car.

474
00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:59,240
Speaker 2: Well, have that conversation and see what is issue with

475
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:04,199
Speaker 2: it is why? Okay, So when we were first dating,

476
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:08,359
Speaker 2: I hope I'm telling the story right. I think I

477
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:10,800
Speaker 2: sent you a bikini pick.

478
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:14,000
Speaker 1: Yes, you did, and you loved it, a red bikini pick.

479
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:16,080
Speaker 2: I texted it to you, and then you were like

480
00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:18,359
Speaker 2: you told me later that you kind of wondered if

481
00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:20,520
Speaker 2: I was going to post it on social and that

482
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:22,199
Speaker 2: you were glad I never did that. I had just

483
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:24,520
Speaker 2: sent it to you because so what was the thinking there?

484
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:29,199
Speaker 1: Well, my thinking was several fold here. Strategicy is what

485
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:32,520
Speaker 1: I was thinking. Okay, she sends me this pick, which,

486
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:33,880
Speaker 1: in guys, it wasn't.

487
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:36,280
Speaker 2: A nude I just said it was a bikini I know,

488
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:38,320
Speaker 2: but it was a bikini pick, But why did you

489
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 2: need to declare?

490
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,399
Speaker 1: Well, but it was it was sexy, Okay, So you

491
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:43,439
Speaker 1: sent me and I thought it was sexy, and so

492
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:45,600
Speaker 1: I thought and I said so, and I was like,

493
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:48,080
Speaker 1: I really loved it. And it made me think, oh,

494
00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:51,240
Speaker 1: she's thinking of me, she likes me. This is going

495
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:54,880
Speaker 1: well like me, this is going well. I'm feeling these

496
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:57,639
Speaker 1: things too, and now it's being reciprocated. We're being flirty

497
00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:01,679
Speaker 1: and fun. If she had taken that same picture that

498
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:05,639
Speaker 1: I thought was special, I thought was meant for me

499
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:08,719
Speaker 1: and was taken with me and mine, now it's not.

500
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 2: So it would have taken ful to you. It would

501
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:13,480
Speaker 2: have felt like a way I thought, We don't know.

502
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:14,240
Speaker 2: I see what you're saying.

503
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:17,040
Speaker 1: You're saying hurtful, less meaningful. Now I realize it wasn't

504
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 1: meant for me. You don't care. It was a first

505
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:21,360
Speaker 1: trap and I want everybody to comment on it. Got

506
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:23,560
Speaker 1: it and instead of I just wanted to see what

507
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:25,800
Speaker 1: you would say about it. By sending it to you,

508
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:28,120
Speaker 1: I wanted to turn you on and make you think

509
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:31,480
Speaker 1: of me, which it did. But then if I see, oh,

510
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:32,840
Speaker 1: by the way, I think I look so hot, I'm

511
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,600
Speaker 1: gonna send it to the world. Yeah, it just takes takes.

512
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:37,960
Speaker 2: I see that because basically what you're talking about is

513
00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:41,679
Speaker 2: like and honestly, I think there I'm getting. Specifically, there

514
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:45,879
Speaker 2: might be a difference in like posing it also like

515
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,320
Speaker 2: posting a photo where like you're on the beach with

516
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,159
Speaker 2: your girlfriends on your girls trip and everybody's in a

517
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 2: swimsuit versus like a super sexish posed bikini photo. Yeah,

518
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:57,360
Speaker 2: so maybe there's a difference there. Yeah, And I see

519
00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,159
Speaker 2: what you're saying, because ultimately it is about like there

520
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:02,520
Speaker 2: is an element of the person you're dating or your

521
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:05,000
Speaker 2: partner feeling like, well, are some parts of you and

522
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:07,399
Speaker 2: some sides of you like special just for us? And

523
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:09,040
Speaker 2: I do think that's important in relationships.

524
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:12,000
Speaker 1: And Ali, I understand kind of where you're leading this to,

525
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:17,000
Speaker 1: which is insecurity and jealousy. Those are difficult subjects because

526
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:19,679
Speaker 1: some of that I think is healthy and okay, and

527
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:24,720
Speaker 1: you should want a certain level of discretion and confidence

528
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:27,160
Speaker 1: between the two of you, things that you guys just share.

529
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:31,399
Speaker 1: But then those things can go across that line, and

530
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:34,520
Speaker 1: again there's always that gray area of jealousy can also

531
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:38,680
Speaker 1: be a toxic thing and controlling and those things can

532
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:41,240
Speaker 1: be bad. You have to moderate them and have those

533
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:43,480
Speaker 1: discussions to find out what you're comfortable with and what

534
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:44,320
Speaker 1: he's comfortable with.

535
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:46,560
Speaker 2: God, I'm realizing we probably could do a whole podcast

536
00:25:46,560 --> 00:26:01,080
Speaker 2: episode about posting bikini picks. We could, all right, next

537
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:05,600
Speaker 2: question though, Lucy says, well, yes, we haven't talked about

538
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,400
Speaker 2: this yet. Lucy says, the first Golden Bachelor couple got

539
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,879
Speaker 2: a divorce. What do you guys think Does the Golden

540
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:13,040
Speaker 2: Bachelor have the potential to be a success?

541
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:16,439
Speaker 1: Sure, it does, Yeah, I mean I don't know these

542
00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 1: pe Well, here's the question.

543
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:20,200
Speaker 2: You know what, the question is success in what way?

544
00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:22,720
Speaker 2: Success is a show success? In relationships?

545
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 1: It's true because as the Bachelor, you know, the show

546
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:28,880
Speaker 1: was never predicated on the fact that it was successful

547
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:31,800
Speaker 1: all the time with the marriage, with the marriages, right,

548
00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:35,399
Speaker 1: ratings matter and you know, advertisers buying space on your

549
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,680
Speaker 1: show matters, so that is a success, but also people

550
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:41,199
Speaker 1: getting married on your show. I mean, overall, the show

551
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:44,320
Speaker 1: in that regard was not a success and so far

552
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:47,280
Speaker 1: the Golden Bachelor's Oh, for one, they made it a

553
00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:50,719
Speaker 1: month and so but can it work? Sure? And if

554
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:53,720
Speaker 1: you're talking about a couple coming successful out of it. Sure,

555
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:56,160
Speaker 1: it can. You have you know, it's lightning in a bottle.

556
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,320
Speaker 1: You have to get really lucky. A lot of things

557
00:26:58,359 --> 00:27:01,800
Speaker 1: have to happen when you're talking about one couple, and

558
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:04,560
Speaker 1: so you know, I'll defend the show in this way

559
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:08,119
Speaker 1: because you know, Bachelor in Paradise, for example, it was

560
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,680
Speaker 1: a lot easier to form couples because we have thirteen

561
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:14,199
Speaker 1: guys thirteen girls. Well, we have thirteen opportunities to make

562
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:16,720
Speaker 1: it work, and the pressure is not on you. I

563
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:19,480
Speaker 1: don't know the gentleman's name, whoever the Golden Bachelor was,

564
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:24,160
Speaker 1: but that's one guy. He you have one shot, well, right,

565
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 1: but they all get it work and that's it.

566
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:27,600
Speaker 2: But they also spend a lot of time picking that

567
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 2: one person. I mean, there should be a lot of

568
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:31,800
Speaker 2: time in thought into casting that one person. I will

569
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:35,000
Speaker 2: say this, I thought about it. I heard the news.

570
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:37,280
Speaker 2: Obviously you didn't miss the news, but I we didn't

571
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:39,760
Speaker 2: watch the show at all. So I'm I'm weighing in

572
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:42,240
Speaker 2: on this without having seen even a clip from this show.

573
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:46,080
Speaker 2: I don't know if the show was like portrayed, very

574
00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:49,280
Speaker 2: wholesome or if it was very drama E. I didn't

575
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:50,800
Speaker 2: know how they were going to approach it, since it's

576
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 2: these like older people who and who have been through

577
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:57,159
Speaker 2: a lot, if it was wholesomey like I will say,

578
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:00,399
Speaker 2: I mean, this marriage did not last long. It was

579
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:04,000
Speaker 2: like a Kim Kardashian a couple months situation.

580
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:05,399
Speaker 1: A carton of milk that's lasted longer.

581
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:07,400
Speaker 2: But that did not look good.

582
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:10,040
Speaker 1: And I think our perception of this show, and I

583
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:12,359
Speaker 1: think everybody's perception was it would be this wholesome. Of

584
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,800
Speaker 1: course it's going to work. Everybody's here for the quote

585
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:17,359
Speaker 1: unquote right reasons in this golden phase of right.

586
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:19,679
Speaker 2: And there are people who've been many people widows and

587
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:22,240
Speaker 2: I mean widowers, no widows because there was more women.

588
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:25,200
Speaker 2: But so you would think that these older people would

589
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:29,040
Speaker 2: have like some perspective on life and really be looking

590
00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:32,200
Speaker 2: for for the person. So the fact that it only

591
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:35,680
Speaker 2: lasted a couple months, I thought, Okay, that doesn't look

592
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:39,160
Speaker 2: good for like what the what I thought the vibe

593
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 2: of the show was. Now that being said, I don't know,

594
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:45,800
Speaker 2: maybe the fact that it only lasted a couple months

595
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:48,480
Speaker 2: means older people can be just as dramatic as younger people,

596
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:50,160
Speaker 2: and maybe it's going to be a really good dramatic show.

597
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 2: So I don't know.

598
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:52,720
Speaker 1: I was gonna say maybe the lesson in the takeaway

599
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:58,240
Speaker 1: here is with age doesn't come wisdoms necessarily necessarily all

600
00:28:58,280 --> 00:28:58,640
Speaker 1: the time.

601
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:02,560
Speaker 2: Rebecca, Oh, this is an interesting question. I've never asked

602
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:06,840
Speaker 2: you this, Chris, who did you like on the Bachelor franchise,

603
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:10,040
Speaker 2: even though America might have hated that person.

604
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:12,840
Speaker 1: I'll give you a guy and a girl. The guy

605
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:18,800
Speaker 1: Brad Womack. Brad, Yeah, because he didn't choose anybody, and

606
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:23,520
Speaker 1: he did it twice and left h solo of both times. Yeah,

607
00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 1: so he just got a bad rap and and and

608
00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:30,040
Speaker 1: and he was. He's such a sweet guy, maybe one

609
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:31,880
Speaker 1: of the nicest guys that's ever come through the show.

610
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:34,400
Speaker 1: You know, We've talked to nauseum about what a good

611
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:37,160
Speaker 1: guy is and how we are close friends. He's somebody

612
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 1: that I tried to defend and I will defend another

613
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:42,360
Speaker 1: one who got a bat herap. She's definitely come around

614
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:45,640
Speaker 1: as America's sweetheart and favorite now. But Michelle Money at

615
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:49,000
Speaker 1: the time, she wasn't the bacherette, but she was on. Ironically,

616
00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:52,360
Speaker 1: I think she was on Brad Womack's show. She was

617
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:55,960
Speaker 1: kind of seen as this kind of snarky. She came

618
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,920
Speaker 1: off her sense of humor came off wrong, and she

619
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:03,440
Speaker 1: was really really vilified early on, and I had to

620
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:05,320
Speaker 1: defend her at the Women tell All because she was

621
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:08,280
Speaker 1: getting crushed. And I always thought she was a really

622
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:11,160
Speaker 1: lovely woman. We've been very good friends. And now her

623
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:14,200
Speaker 1: and Mike Weir are life partners, the golfer the pro golfer,

624
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 1: which yeah they are. They got married. And she's just

625
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:21,680
Speaker 1: a real gem of a human being and a giver

626
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:24,160
Speaker 1: and a lover, and she always was but her. I

627
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:26,840
Speaker 1: always appreciated her smart ass sense of humor. It didn't

628
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:27,880
Speaker 1: go over well on America.

629
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,840
Speaker 2: That's like why they say that comedies are hard to

630
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:35,120
Speaker 2: translate into different countries because comedy is so interpretive, like

631
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:37,320
Speaker 2: versus action movies. So I could see that how a

632
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 2: sense of humor could especially because things are cut and

633
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:42,920
Speaker 2: edited and shortened. Did she get along well with the

634
00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 2: other women she was on the show?

635
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:47,040
Speaker 1: Some? I mean some that usually yeah, paint you know

636
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:48,440
Speaker 1: how it is at the tell all, you they kind

637
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:51,360
Speaker 1: of turn on her. Then later they're like, oh, she's great. Well,

638
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:53,400
Speaker 1: but they were crushing her at the tell All though.

639
00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:55,840
Speaker 2: Again I didn't watch that season. It's funny because I

640
00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:58,200
Speaker 2: only knew Michelle, like since you and I started dating,

641
00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:01,000
Speaker 2: as being so lovely, so sweet, and I knew you

642
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:03,240
Speaker 2: were friends and I one thing I appreciate about you

643
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:06,520
Speaker 2: is that you show up for people like both your

644
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:09,480
Speaker 2: and you really stick by people even if they are

645
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:12,960
Speaker 2: being crushed by others. Like you told me later, didn't

646
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:15,400
Speaker 2: you go and do some charity stuff like from Michelle's dad?

647
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:16,080
Speaker 2: What was that?

648
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:20,800
Speaker 1: Way too young? And so we all went to Salt

649
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:24,840
Speaker 1: Lake City and appeared for her and supported her for

650
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:28,120
Speaker 1: that charity. It was phenomenal. And yeah, so she's a

651
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,280
Speaker 1: real gem and but she's somebody her and her and

652
00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:32,000
Speaker 1: Brad Walmeck. I was trying to think of others that

653
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:34,440
Speaker 1: have been vilified over the years that I've kept in

654
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:37,440
Speaker 1: touch with, and I was wondering if you could think.

655
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 2: Of any uh, well, some I think they were vilified

656
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:41,560
Speaker 2: at the time, but now they've just grown up and

657
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:43,400
Speaker 2: so it's nice to see them get a second chapter.

658
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 2: But so I don't think it fun.

659
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:47,960
Speaker 1: I mean, even Mesnik was crushed, but you know everybody

660
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:51,160
Speaker 1: once I think he realized, well, I'd put.

661
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 2: Both Mesnick and Ari in those categories are lined. I crushed.

662
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:56,920
Speaker 2: At the time, you probably knew behind the scenes they

663
00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,200
Speaker 2: were good dudes, but they'd made mistakes in one of them.

664
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:03,680
Speaker 1: Jason married Molly and we had that very public televised

665
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:06,520
Speaker 1: wedding and everybody was like, Okay, this is this is

666
00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:08,880
Speaker 1: working and this you know what he initially did with

667
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 1: Melissa kind of it was the same with Ari. You

668
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 1: know what he did with Beca. It didn't go over well.

669
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:16,600
Speaker 1: And then you see he and Lauren have forty kids

670
00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:18,600
Speaker 1: and they're living their life and they're doing well and.

671
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:21,080
Speaker 2: Ari, I think you know. And by the way, I

672
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:23,480
Speaker 2: was one of the people who was like critiquing Ari

673
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:25,720
Speaker 2: at the time on my show Roses and Rose. I

674
00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 2: was because but I look back now and I think

675
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:31,160
Speaker 2: he was like thrown into the show late. He didn't

676
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:32,600
Speaker 2: know he was going to be with the Bachelor for

677
00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:35,240
Speaker 2: very long. He wasn't like prepared to go be on

678
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:37,320
Speaker 2: reality TV again, and I think you could see that

679
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 2: in the show. And yeah, now him and Lauren are

680
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 2: one of the success stories, and you officiated their wedding.

681
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,560
Speaker 2: But I appreciate that you stood by him too and

682
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:45,720
Speaker 2: defended him all.

683
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:48,280
Speaker 1: The way to the altar. Yeah, married them in Hawaii.

684
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:50,320
Speaker 1: That was a beautiful wedding. And he was one of

685
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:54,600
Speaker 1: the most tumultuous, kind of controversial choices of Bachelor because.

686
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:56,040
Speaker 2: Everyone went who.

687
00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:58,440
Speaker 1: Well, we were going back and forth on who it

688
00:32:58,480 --> 00:32:59,440
Speaker 1: was going to be, and.

689
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:02,440
Speaker 2: At some point point, I'd love for you to share.

690
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:05,240
Speaker 2: I don't know if you can. I'm not telling you

691
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:07,680
Speaker 2: to do it now. No, it's just there. I know

692
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:10,120
Speaker 2: there are people over the years, like in those moments

693
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:12,480
Speaker 2: when it was like who, because there were these front

694
00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:16,240
Speaker 2: runners and guys or women people loved for the leads,

695
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:19,160
Speaker 2: and then they didn't become the lead. And I know

696
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 2: that the franchise never I mean as a journalist covering it,

697
00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:24,680
Speaker 2: they would never like say, and I don't know if

698
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 2: it was for privacy reasons for these people or what,

699
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 2: but they would never really answer why like this beloved

700
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:32,480
Speaker 2: guy who seemed to be a fan favorite and seemed

701
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:35,120
Speaker 2: to have it all wasn't chosen for the Bachelor. Yeah,

702
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:38,240
Speaker 2: can you give an a general response to why the

703
00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:39,600
Speaker 2: fans didn't get those answers?

704
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:43,080
Speaker 1: There were a lot of reasons because there's so many

705
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 1: chefs in the kitchen. First of all, you're dealing with

706
00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:49,560
Speaker 1: a couple of people at the top of the show,

707
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,080
Speaker 1: you know, the creator of the show, the head of

708
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:53,400
Speaker 1: the network, and then it would go all the way

709
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:55,200
Speaker 1: to the president of the network, and so this person

710
00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:57,960
Speaker 1: deciding the lead, Yeah, deciding the lead, and so so

711
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:01,320
Speaker 1: many people would have an initial say and then another say,

712
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:03,560
Speaker 1: and so again there were just so many chefs in

713
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:07,760
Speaker 1: the kitchen that eventually sometimes the soup turns out great.

714
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:10,160
Speaker 1: Sometimes there's too much crap thrown in it and it

715
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:10,800
Speaker 1: gets ruined.

716
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:13,120
Speaker 2: I see what you're saying, and that you know, maybe

717
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:16,920
Speaker 2: one person who's like maybe closer to the show and

718
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:19,880
Speaker 2: working on it more regularly, is like the fans love

719
00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:21,360
Speaker 2: this person and they're great, but then what by the

720
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:23,880
Speaker 2: time it gets up to someone at the top, Yeah, they're.

721
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:26,319
Speaker 1: Like, but he doesn't have you know, but he doesn't have.

722
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:28,279
Speaker 2: A doctorate, and we want someone smart this season, and

723
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:30,120
Speaker 2: they're making those kinds of way in Yeah, And.

724
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:33,600
Speaker 1: There's and there's some TV reasons of sometimes maybe a

725
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:35,880
Speaker 1: person we've shown you and how they were edited on

726
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:38,640
Speaker 1: the show is not maybe how we think they would

727
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:41,200
Speaker 1: be as the bachelor of Bacherette, and someone is a

728
00:34:41,239 --> 00:34:42,920
Speaker 1: better talker or better.

729
00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:45,200
Speaker 2: Better contestant than they would be a lead.

730
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:47,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, And so there's a difference between being a good contestant,

731
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:50,480
Speaker 1: being a good lead, and carrying the show. And there's

732
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:53,560
Speaker 1: there's so many factors that go into it. You know.

733
00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:55,799
Speaker 1: I always said when people got mad, I'm like, I'm

734
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:57,640
Speaker 1: glad you get mad, because that means you care about

735
00:34:57,680 --> 00:34:59,680
Speaker 1: the show and you're vested in it, and that's wonderful

736
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:02,279
Speaker 1: that you have an opinion. But just know that there's

737
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:05,200
Speaker 1: so much that goes into it and it's not and

738
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:08,560
Speaker 1: I hate to use this phrase because it's it drives

739
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:11,239
Speaker 1: me crazy sometimes, but it's nothing personal. A lot of

740
00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:13,400
Speaker 1: times it wasn't It wasn't personal. It's you know, there

741
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:16,200
Speaker 1: was a business decision or who they thought, you know,

742
00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:19,439
Speaker 1: was getting maybe two out of hand and they could

743
00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:21,880
Speaker 1: control better, who they could produce better.

744
00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:26,520
Speaker 2: Were there ever things when people were cleared to be contestants,

745
00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:28,640
Speaker 2: But then I don't know if there's an extra layer

746
00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:31,839
Speaker 2: of like digging deep on them before they became lead,

747
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:33,800
Speaker 2: and then like what things came to light and stuff

748
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:34,120
Speaker 2: like that.

749
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:39,440
Speaker 1: For sure, there was one very definite case where everybody

750
00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:44,160
Speaker 1: really thought and wanted one person and then I was

751
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:47,440
Speaker 1: told later for legal reasons, this person cannot be the Bachelor.

752
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:51,439
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, gotcha, And so we had to move off,

753
00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:55,759
Speaker 1: and you can't say that. You can't say why that

754
00:35:55,840 --> 00:36:00,279
Speaker 1: person was excluded, and you can't explain it for legal reasons.

755
00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:03,880
Speaker 1: You can't explain it either for defamation and all these

756
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:06,680
Speaker 1: other issues. And so there's those things where you just

757
00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 1: have to swallow it, and legally you got to move

758
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:13,200
Speaker 1: on and pick another bachelor Bacherette, and so, but there's

759
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:16,480
Speaker 1: also those things where I thought, this is the worst

760
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:18,040
Speaker 1: choice in the world, and this is going to be

761
00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:20,680
Speaker 1: a boring season, and then Sean Loh turns out to

762
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:24,000
Speaker 1: be the best Bachelor ever, and so you just you

763
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:26,640
Speaker 1: just never know. You never know what's going to resonate.

764
00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:29,600
Speaker 1: Which leads me to maybe our last question. That's really

765
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:31,920
Speaker 1: good and I find this interesting because I want to

766
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:35,240
Speaker 1: know what you think. Bo asked a very poignant question.

767
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:38,120
Speaker 1: Do you worry that your new show won't live up

768
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:39,200
Speaker 1: to expectations?

769
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:41,440
Speaker 2: Gosh, what do you think the expectations are?

770
00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:43,800
Speaker 1: Drama?

771
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:45,960
Speaker 2: If you've do you have an answer? It sounds like

772
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:47,440
Speaker 2: you've been thinking about it for a second.

773
00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:50,000
Speaker 1: I've thought about this and though it's a great question.

774
00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:51,920
Speaker 1: I think it's a wonderful question, and I think this

775
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:55,200
Speaker 1: says a lot about the way I think about things. No,

776
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:57,600
Speaker 1: I don't worry about it living up to expectations. I've

777
00:36:57,680 --> 00:37:02,520
Speaker 1: never I don't do things worrying if they're going to fail.

778
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:06,840
Speaker 1: I live life actually kind of daring to fail. And

779
00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:09,040
Speaker 1: I think that's an important distinction to make, and it's

780
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:12,200
Speaker 1: a great way to live doing things like what would

781
00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:13,879
Speaker 1: you do if you knew you couldn't fail? That's how

782
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:17,759
Speaker 1: I live. And so this show could fail, it could

783
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:20,239
Speaker 1: be bad, it could also be the greatest show ever

784
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:24,800
Speaker 1: it's or somewhere in between. You can't do things only

785
00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:28,319
Speaker 1: if you know they're going to succeed, or thinking I'm

786
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:30,200
Speaker 1: only going to do it if it wins, because then

787
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:32,720
Speaker 1: you're just going to guard yourself against failure all the time.

788
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:35,200
Speaker 1: And that's not how great things are made. That's not

789
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 1: how great art is made.

790
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:38,960
Speaker 2: You just hit the nail on the head. I think

791
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:41,440
Speaker 2: that's such a topic in Hollywood period right now, not

792
00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:44,440
Speaker 2: just for us. I've seen so many headlines lately, people

793
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:48,360
Speaker 2: like Emily Blunt weighing in and saying that like Hollywood

794
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:51,280
Speaker 2: is in such a dangerous spot right now, because literally

795
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:54,640
Speaker 2: whether shows are greenlit or not is being decided by algorithms. Yeah,

796
00:37:54,719 --> 00:37:58,560
Speaker 2: like streamers saying, well, we plugged it into our algorithm

797
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:00,480
Speaker 2: and we don't think that will be a hit. So no,

798
00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:04,640
Speaker 2: And if Hollywood had operated like that for the past

799
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:09,000
Speaker 2: hundred years that it's been around, Citizen Kane, a three hour,

800
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:11,800
Speaker 2: you know, black and white movie about a sled, wouldn't

801
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:13,719
Speaker 2: have been made, The Godfather.

802
00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:14,960
Speaker 1: Wouldn't have been made, Shawshank Redemption.

803
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:20,120
Speaker 2: I mean, all these movies that are classics and TV

804
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:25,560
Speaker 2: shows wouldn't have been made. And art is about touching people,

805
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:27,520
Speaker 2: and I don't think an algorithm can read into how

806
00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:30,279
Speaker 2: to do that. And I think you're so right that

807
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,160
Speaker 2: you have to make something that you feel as good

808
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:36,040
Speaker 2: and then hope that it resonates with people. You can't

809
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:39,000
Speaker 2: make something trying. It's like trying to make a clip

810
00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:40,960
Speaker 2: go viral, Like that's going to be a lot harder

811
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 2: than just you captured a really emotional, incredible clip and

812
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:44,880
Speaker 2: it touched people.

813
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:48,399
Speaker 1: And bo I have made things that I thought were

814
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:51,319
Speaker 1: unbelievable in my mind, and I left thinking they were

815
00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:53,439
Speaker 1: great and they didn't go well, and then I've made

816
00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:55,480
Speaker 1: things that I thought were just okay, and they turned

817
00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:58,160
Speaker 1: out to be the biggest shows in television history. So

818
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:00,440
Speaker 1: it's just, you know, that's the other thing. There's no

819
00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:03,120
Speaker 1: way to predict, and so you have to do what

820
00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:05,719
Speaker 1: you think is right. You make those choices as a producer,

821
00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:08,879
Speaker 1: as a host, and that goes into music, it goes

822
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:10,880
Speaker 1: into everything. You have to dare to be great and

823
00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:14,000
Speaker 1: take those shots. And then that's the kind of the

824
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:16,840
Speaker 1: scary thing about our business is then you just you

825
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:18,960
Speaker 1: wake up the next morning and you hope people watched.

826
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:22,160
Speaker 1: And I also know that you know people are going

827
00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:24,799
Speaker 1: to take shots at it. People come after you when

828
00:39:25,120 --> 00:39:28,359
Speaker 1: you know heavy as head that where's the crown? Well,

829
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:30,480
Speaker 1: that's what happens too. People are going to take shots.

830
00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:36,480
Speaker 1: And that's fine. That emotion and that fervor from people

831
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:40,400
Speaker 1: is a good thing. I want you to feel something

832
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:43,480
Speaker 1: about it. All good art makes you feel something. It

833
00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:47,160
Speaker 1: might make you feel angry, excited, mad, sad, whatever it is.

834
00:39:47,239 --> 00:39:50,759
Speaker 1: Empathy is what kills. I want that feeling so bo.

835
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:54,120
Speaker 1: That is a great deeper question and I very much

836
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:58,719
Speaker 1: appreciate it. Good note to end on, everybody, go out there.

837
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:02,240
Speaker 2: And make something you love, make something you feel good about.

838
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:03,799
Speaker 1: What would you attempt to do if you knew you

839
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 1: could not fail?

840
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:06,960
Speaker 2: I know you have that on them. I do a

841
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:10,120
Speaker 2: right over there quote on our desk from next to

842
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:12,600
Speaker 2: the picture of your grandfather exactly. She's very swirting.

843
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:15,640
Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much, Thank you, We love you,

844
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:19,360
Speaker 1: love the questions. Really appreciate it, and we will do

845
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:21,759
Speaker 1: it again next time because we have a lot more

846
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:24,840
Speaker 1: to talk about. Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram

847
00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:27,360
Speaker 1: at the most dramatic pod ever, and make sure to

848
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:30,080
Speaker 1: write us a review and leave us five stars. I'll

849
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:30,960
Speaker 1: talk to you next time.