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Speaker 1: Two hopeless daters, one dating app that dares you to

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Speaker 1: swipe right.

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Speaker 2: The question is whose love life is more tragic. It's

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Speaker 2: Battle of the Tender Dates.

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Speaker 3: It's the dating game show that's sold out of vibrating pens.

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Speaker 3: Apparently they were all sent to a B Foxes.

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Speaker 2: I think it's brad Fa. You gotta find some way

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Speaker 2: to smile. I guess it's better than vibrating forks.

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Speaker 3: It's days where two of our listeners go head to

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Speaker 3: heead to find out whose dating life is the most tragic.

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Speaker 3: We'll explain the rules in just a second. First, let's

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Speaker 3: meet today's contestants. In this corner, he's spent hours watching

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Speaker 3: National Geographic so he could perfectly imitate the mating call

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Speaker 3: of an African honey badger Wow. That's why the ladies

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Speaker 3: know him as orin warrin Wow Hello, Hello, Hello.

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Speaker 2: Honey Badger high.

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Speaker 3: And in the other corner, he says there's only one

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Speaker 3: musical group that he trusts to put on his bedroom playlist,

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Speaker 3: and they set the mood every time.

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Speaker 2: Meet Bone Thug. Do we meet you at the crossroads?

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Speaker 1: Hey, guys works.

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Speaker 3: One contestant is gonna start by telling one of their

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Speaker 3: worst dating stories, and then the other will try and

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Speaker 3: counter with a nightmare story of their own. We're going

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Speaker 3: back and forth with three rounds till we declaire a winner.

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Speaker 3: We're gonna start things off with Rorin Warren.

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Speaker 2: Okay, let's go.

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Speaker 4: Okay. So this date was in a jiu jitsu class day.

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Speaker 1: Is that something you and her did already?

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Speaker 4: Well, she definitely had.

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Speaker 5: We hadn't done it together, and I'm not a big

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Speaker 5: jiu jitsu guy.

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Speaker 2: All right, Okay, how'd that go?

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Speaker 4: It was little intimidated at first, Like, she's a brown

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Speaker 4: belt in so that was interesting.

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Speaker 5: So she just beat you up. Well, I'm bigger than her,

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Speaker 5: and so like she kept yelling like attack me, attack me.

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Speaker 2: You guys think I'm aggressive on the first day.

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Speaker 3: You haven't said that on a first day, So what

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Speaker 3: would you do?

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Speaker 4: I wasn't doing anything at first. They didn't want to

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Speaker 4: hurt her.

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Speaker 5: And then her teacher or her sense or whatever, he

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Speaker 5: started calling me like a coward and things like that.

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Speaker 2: Hello, they do that, that's the way of martial arts.

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Speaker 2: What did you do?

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Speaker 4: Basically, I went for it.

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Speaker 5: I closed my eyes and I hit her and I

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Speaker 5: pumped her in the throat.

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Speaker 2: I don't think that's what you're supposed to do. Man,

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Speaker 2: you're supposed to defend it. You're a black belt. You

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Speaker 2: didn't even know it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it was to say that the date was over

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Speaker 4: when the ambulance came.

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Speaker 2: Oh, you didn't kiss her after that? Oh the ambulance

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Speaker 2: had to get called.

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Speaker 3: From zero to one.

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Speaker 2: We're going over to Doug. I popped a vocal cord. Doug,

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Speaker 2: can you hit back? No pun intendant?

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Speaker 1: All right. So I'm having a chill night with a

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Speaker 1: girl in my apartment and we ordered some Uber eat.

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Speaker 1: So the driver gets there, she goes to the door

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Speaker 1: and she started flirting with it. So at first I said,

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Speaker 1: you know, maybe she'd just be a nice but then

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Speaker 1: she invites him in to hang out getting weird. Did

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Speaker 1: he come in? Yeah, and he was a better looking

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Speaker 1: guy than I am. They end up sitting on the

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Speaker 1: couch talking together all night. I ended up being a

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Speaker 1: third wheel in my own plate and he ate my fries.

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Speaker 2: That's probably all after you added the tip to four

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Speaker 2: star rating on that around two Warren, What do you got?

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Speaker 5: So my date shows up to the restaurants and I

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Speaker 5: know she had like a file folder with her No

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Speaker 5: big deal.

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Speaker 4: I thought she had just had papers.

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Speaker 5: From work or something like that. No, it's a bit

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Speaker 5: more shocking than that. She proceeds to pull out all

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Speaker 5: this background information on me and basically grilled me about

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Speaker 5: some things, and she said she needs to ask me

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Speaker 5: a bunch of questions.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, Alexis, you went out with Warren. She

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Speaker 2: just keeps it in her head.

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Speaker 1: My car, you got a counter, so s one girl

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Speaker 1: btes me over and when I get there, I see

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Speaker 1: that she made those dinosaur chicken.

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Speaker 3: Nuggets also as with Alexis.

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Speaker 1: And you know, I'm not a snob. I thought that

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Speaker 1: was fine, but then she took my shirt off and

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Speaker 1: she put ketchup on me and started pretending that the

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Speaker 1: dinosaurs were eating me.

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Speaker 2: I fell into a geyser. It's my belly button. We

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Speaker 2: could call the game right there, but we got to

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Speaker 2: go on the round three Roaring Warren, last chance, let's go.

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Speaker 5: So I'm on another inner date and everything's going fine,

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Speaker 5: and she gets some to go to the restroom, and

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Speaker 5: then I noticed my phone was gone, So I'm looking

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Speaker 5: everywhere for dead drop it.

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Speaker 4: And she comes back and now my phone's back, and so.

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Speaker 5: I'm thinking that maybe she transferred some money or some

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Speaker 5: money on my accounts or something like that.

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Speaker 2: That is kind of a classic move lately, did she no?

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Speaker 5: Turns out she actually unfollowed every girl on my Instagram

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Speaker 5: and changed my on screen to like my junk pick.

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Speaker 2: Whoa to see yourself?

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Speaker 5: That's a.

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Speaker 4: Jokes on you, guys. I married her?

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Speaker 2: Oh wait, what what the heck?

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Speaker 3: Someone passed there for everyone but phones Doug, Doug, this

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Speaker 3: is the last shot, let's hear it.

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Speaker 1: So I'm ad for the girl. We're both in the cars,

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Speaker 1: she tells me on the day, I want to show

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Speaker 1: what I'm working on. So I met her outside this

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Speaker 1: junk yard, and I'm expecting to see, you know, like

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Speaker 1: a quiet like like a Mustang or you know, charges.

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Speaker 1: But she has this old Honda accord. If he tells

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Speaker 1: me we're gonna play a game, we could climb over

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Speaker 1: the gate first and steal the most parts that she needs.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she literally just needs someone to help her with

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Speaker 2: the heavy car park steal him. It's not her accord either,

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Speaker 2: I think who won that company?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, there's the final bell that means the match is over.

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Speaker 3: We need to score this, So judges alexis, who are

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Speaker 3: you gonna give it to.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna go Doug having the third wheel in his own.

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Speaker 3: House, dog Brook dude, for sure, Doug, I was going

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Speaker 3: with the car theft girl.

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Speaker 2: Congratulations, bone Thug Doug of the Week.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not sure I want to win, but thank you.

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Speaker 4: Laura doesn't count.

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Speaker 2: He married one of his bad dates, that's his prize. Congratulations.

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Speaker 2: So all that's Battle of the Tinder Dates. We got

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Speaker 2: phone Tap coming up next