Speaker 1: Hey guys. Before we get into the episode, a quick note.
Speaker 1: We're looking for news stories of betrayal for our weekly
Speaker 1: Betrayal series, which returns in August. If you've experienced betrayal
Speaker 1: and feel ready to share your story, now is a
Speaker 1: great time to reach out. Email us at Betrayal Pod
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. That's Betrayal Pod at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2: I woke up just kind of feeling this heaviness on
Speaker 2: my chest, like it was difficult to take a deep
Speaker 2: breath in, and my eyes were burning, and you can
Speaker 2: smell the exhaust and you heard this rumbling sound. Where
Speaker 2: is that coming from? Is that his truck? Is that
Speaker 2: his truck rumbling?
Speaker 1: I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is Betrayal C Season four,
Speaker 1: Episode three, Revisionist History. April eleventh, twenty twenty two was
Speaker 1: Caroline's d day, the day that split her life in two.
Speaker 1: It was the day her husband, Joel Kern, told her
Speaker 1: that he had received oral sex in his police vehicle
Speaker 1: while on duty. It was also the day he was
Speaker 1: placed on leave pending termination, threatening the job their family
Speaker 1: had sacrificed so much for. For Caroline, this wasn't just
Speaker 1: about infidelity. It was about twenty years of lies, a
Speaker 1: picture perfect family that never truly was. To fully understand
Speaker 1: the impact of Joel's betrayal, we need to go back
Speaker 1: in time to a few key moments in Caroline and
Speaker 1: Joel's marriage. There were two realities happening, and we're going
Speaker 1: to show you the split screen, on one side what
Speaker 1: Caroline experienced in the moment, and on the other, what
Speaker 1: Joel was really doing behind the scenes. Let's start with
Speaker 1: the life Caroline thought she had with Joel before April eleventh,
Speaker 1: twenty twenty two.
Speaker 2: We had, in my opinion, what would be a fairy
Speaker 2: tale family for a law enforcement family. We made the
Speaker 2: best of everything. We were traveling together and we had
Speaker 2: these kids who were just rock stars. We were talking
Speaker 2: about what it was going to look like to retire
Speaker 2: and not have a care in the world for day
Speaker 2: to day life. We had this dream together. We were
Speaker 2: not perfect, but we damn sure lived a beautiful and
Speaker 2: blessed life before that day.
Speaker 1: But after April eleventh, I was lost.
Speaker 2: To say I was numb is an understatement, like I
Speaker 2: have been with this person for more than half my life.
Speaker 2: He is all I have known. It just was this
Speaker 2: feeling of what the hell am I going to do?
Speaker 1: In the days after D Day, Joel made a series
Speaker 1: of confessions. Every time he spoke with Caroline, he revealed
Speaker 1: new details about what he had done, and Caroline began
Speaker 1: to replay the tape of her own life with Joel.
Speaker 1: That process brought up old memories, Moments that had been
Speaker 1: buried deep in her mind now took on new meaning.
Speaker 1: Let's start back in two thousand and one. Caroline was
Speaker 1: twenty five years old when she and Joel got married,
Speaker 1: and in episode one, we shared that Joel's childhood friend
Speaker 1: read this passage at their wedding. Love is patient and kind.
Speaker 1: Love does not envy or boast.
Speaker 2: He invited a childhood friend to do a reading and
Speaker 2: she was excited to be part of the ceremony.
Speaker 1: Only six months after the wedding, something happened. It was
Speaker 1: two thousand and one and email communication was still new
Speaker 1: for some people. Caroline's aunt was using email for the
Speaker 1: first time, so Caroline decided to send her a message.
Speaker 2: As I logged on, I couldn't get into my email account.
Speaker 2: I noticed, though, that Joel's was already up, and so
Speaker 2: I thought, oh, she'll get a kick out of this.
Speaker 2: Even more because she'll think it's coming from Joel as
Speaker 2: well as myself.
Speaker 1: Caroline sent the email, but then she saw the preview
Speaker 1: lines to other emails Joel had recently received.
Speaker 2: And I noticed the friends who did their reading on
Speaker 2: our wedding. There were several email correspondences with.
Speaker 1: Her, and the preview lines made Caroline look twice.
Speaker 2: And so I clicked and started reading through them, and
Speaker 2: there was email after email exchange between the pair discussing
Speaker 2: what it would have been like had they married each other,
Speaker 2: or if they ever had a opportunity for romantic a
Speaker 2: and they got pretty graphic.
Speaker 1: Just months after their wedding, Joel was having an online
Speaker 1: sexual conversation with a woman who was part of their ceremony,
Speaker 1: a woman who had read the words.
Speaker 3: Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Speaker 1: Caroline was stunned. She left a note next to the
Speaker 1: computer letting Joel know that she had seen the emails.
Speaker 1: Then she fled to her parents' house. Eventually she returned
Speaker 1: home to confront him.
Speaker 2: I pull into the garage, opened the door, walked through
Speaker 2: the house and he's on his knees waiting for me,
Speaker 2: and he's crying and crying and over and over, just
Speaker 2: assured me that it was just merely for attention and
Speaker 2: that you know, look, I'll do anything. And then he said,
Speaker 2: you know, I'll go to counseling to assure you that
Speaker 2: I'll never let this happen again. And so I said, yeah,
Speaker 2: because at this point there's no trust.
Speaker 1: Joel said he was committed to showing Caroline that he
Speaker 1: was serious, and they found a marriage counselor. During counseling,
Speaker 1: Joel attributed his behavior to job stress and residual grief
Speaker 1: from his father's death three years prior. Joel said and
Speaker 1: did all the right things. He apologized with tears streaming
Speaker 1: down his face. He promised it would never happen again,
Speaker 1: and Caroline believed him. After all, it was only a
Speaker 1: few emails.
Speaker 2: I convinced myself there was no physical cheating, and so
Speaker 2: we were able to work through this. Early on, when
Speaker 2: he did this, I thought naively that this was going
Speaker 2: to make us stronger.
Speaker 1: After D Day, Caroline returned to this memory and she
Speaker 1: realized this was the first time she chose to see
Speaker 1: the best in Joel. Once Caroline forgave Joel, their love
Speaker 1: appeared to grow stronger. Just like she'd hoped, and a
Speaker 1: couple of years later, Caroline became pregnant with her first child.
Speaker 1: In the final doctor's appointment before she was due to
Speaker 1: give birth, Joel didn't show up. He said he had
Speaker 1: an important work lunch. But at that appointment, Caroline's doctor
Speaker 1: recommended she'd be induced right away, so she called Joel,
Speaker 1: begging him to meet her at the hospital. When he
Speaker 1: got there, he seemed off.
Speaker 2: Joel had been complaining he was super tired and it's
Speaker 2: hard to like confess and admit this now, and very
Speaker 2: few people know this. But when it came time to push,
Speaker 2: the doctor came in and sat me up and said,
Speaker 2: you know, here's what we're gonna do. What started explaining things,
Speaker 2: and Joel raised his finger and said, can you guys
Speaker 2: just all hold on for a minute so that I
Speaker 2: can use the bathroom, And everyone just got real quiet,
Speaker 2: and the doctor said, why don't you go ahead and
Speaker 2: take care of yourself and we'll stay with your wife.
Speaker 2: And the nurse who was in the room, she asked
Speaker 2: if I was okay and safe at home?
Speaker 3: It was humiliating.
Speaker 2: After our son was born. He said that he was
Speaker 2: just incredibly tired, that he had gotten no sleep because
Speaker 2: of work and said that he was going to go
Speaker 2: home and get sleep. Meanwhile, I was alone at the
Speaker 2: hospital with our newborn son.
Speaker 1: This is one of the most difficult memories for Caroline
Speaker 1: to revisit. The very first day of her son's life.
Speaker 1: Joel was mia.
Speaker 2: Starting bright and early in the morning. His colleagues and
Speaker 2: his coworkers were coming in to congratulate us, and Joel
Speaker 2: wasn't there. And so I called him and said, all
Speaker 2: of your coworkers are coming in and people are asking
Speaker 2: where you're at. Are you going to come to the
Speaker 2: hospital see the baby and I And so he said,
Speaker 2: I just really needed a night to catch up on sleep.
Speaker 1: Caroline assumed Joel really was exhausted, maybe he was overwhelmed
Speaker 1: by the reality of becoming a father. But now she's
Speaker 1: forced to look back and ask herself.
Speaker 2: Did he leave that night after I had our son
Speaker 2: to go be with someone or do something? I don't know.
Speaker 2: I would hope not. I hope that he went home
Speaker 2: just to get some sleep. But it's something now that
Speaker 2: I've replayed.
Speaker 1: Caroline knew what she was getting into when she married
Speaker 1: a cop. Her eyes were wide open. There would be
Speaker 1: times when Joel would have to prioritize work and she
Speaker 1: would be the one to pull the weight. But when
Speaker 1: it came to big moments like the birth of their child,
Speaker 1: she thought surely the family would come first, and if
Speaker 1: anything ever happened to their children, she expected Joel to
Speaker 1: be by her side. We're going to fast forward to
Speaker 1: January of twenty nineteen, when their daughter, Nicole was admitted
Speaker 1: to the hospital. She was thirteen.
Speaker 2: She had a very severe bacterial infection that grew concern
Speaker 2: for her being septic, and so she was admitted to
Speaker 2: a children's hospital for about a week.
Speaker 3: That was one of the first times I ever saw
Speaker 3: my mom cry. I just was not doing well. I
Speaker 3: was weak and lost twenty pounds in a week.
Speaker 1: The timing couldn't have been worse for Joel. He'd just
Speaker 1: been nominated for the permanent public Information Officer position.
Speaker 2: Joel was insistent that he couldn't take any time off
Speaker 2: work to come stay with her because it would be
Speaker 2: a bad look.
Speaker 3: I wanted him around, but I just constantly had this
Speaker 3: notion in my head that my dad couldn't sacrifice work
Speaker 3: like he had to be there, and so I don't
Speaker 3: think it was even really a choice in my head
Speaker 3: that he could be there.
Speaker 1: They were used to Joel putting work first. He couldn't
Speaker 1: be there to support Caroline or care for his daughter.
Speaker 1: It was disappointing, but not surprising.
Speaker 2: I now know why he really wasn't there. I found
Speaker 2: very clear evidence later that he had made arrangements to
Speaker 2: meet someone for sex.
Speaker 1: When Caroline first told her mom she met the man
Speaker 1: she was going to marry, her mom said, Jesus Christ,
Speaker 1: you'd better not be a cop. But over the course
Speaker 1: of their marriage, he became incredibly close with Caroline's family,
Speaker 1: so close that when her mother passed away, he served
Speaker 1: as the executor of her estate. Among the assets passed
Speaker 1: down to Caroline was a rental property she didn't want
Speaker 1: to keep. However, Joel convinced her that it would be
Speaker 1: wise to hold onto it. It would provide passive income.
Speaker 1: He promised to manage it for her, and he did.
Speaker 1: He found the runners and handled all the communication with them,
Speaker 1: But unbeknownst to Caroline, he was using that property for
Speaker 1: another reason. We're going to go to April twenty twenty.
Speaker 1: When Caroline looks back on this day, she sees it
Speaker 1: as Joel's closest call, a near miss, A day that
Speaker 1: could have been her d day, but it wasn't because
Speaker 1: on this day, Joel was able to stay in control.
Speaker 1: Here's their son's memory of what happened.
Speaker 4: I was still in high school. I had to be
Speaker 4: sophomore junior year. I get home from school and I
Speaker 4: usually my mom will greet me or say something when
Speaker 4: I get home, but I didn't hear anything. And so
Speaker 4: I go up to the office and I see my
Speaker 4: mom just in tears, and she's beside herself, and she
Speaker 4: showed me. She said, look at what this person just
Speaker 4: messaged me on Facebook.
Speaker 1: The message claimed that Joel was sleeping with the tenant
Speaker 1: that was living in their rental property.
Speaker 4: And then my dad gets home and he's confronted with
Speaker 4: it by my mom and he denies it. And I
Speaker 4: remember confronting him and I told him, I said, if
Speaker 4: this is true, like we're done. I'm never fucking talking
Speaker 4: to you again.
Speaker 1: Joel told Caroline somebody was messing with them. Who and
Speaker 1: why he didn't know. But here's the thing about Joel.
Speaker 1: He didn't get anxious or crazy. He was calm. Caroline
Speaker 1: insisted on going to the rental property with Joel to
Speaker 1: get to the bottom of it. Not knowing what to expect,
Speaker 1: Caroline taped the encounter.
Speaker 2: Hello, what's going on? Well, you tell me.
Speaker 1: The tenant blamed her ex boyfriend, saying he was looking
Speaker 1: for revenge after their breakup. She strongly denied there was
Speaker 1: any relationship between her and Joel.
Speaker 3: Why.
Speaker 1: I don't know if he's just trying to get to
Speaker 1: me to hurt me. I had no idea, because the
Speaker 1: thing is I was trying to break up with him.
Speaker 1: We have art time's arguments, and then he's trying to
Speaker 1: be nice to Caroline was furious with the situation. How
Speaker 1: did her family get mixed up in the runner's drama
Speaker 1: and how did the runner's ex boyfriend even know who
Speaker 1: Joel was?
Speaker 2: So you said something, You said something to make some
Speaker 2: psychopath think this about.
Speaker 1: My husband, and here's Joel defending himself in the moment.
Speaker 5: This psychopath is got me on the road to a divorce.
Speaker 5: My kids want me out of the house.
Speaker 1: Remember this was the before times. Caroline and the kids
Speaker 1: believed Joel had nothing to do with the tenant.
Speaker 4: He proved his innocence, Seemingly to us.
Speaker 1: Joel was able to keep his family together and put
Speaker 1: this mix up behind them. That didn't change how their
Speaker 1: son felt when he first heard about the accusation.
Speaker 4: I mean, I was an asshole to him after this,
Speaker 4: and I remember we were in the car together driving,
Speaker 4: and this was a very memorable moment for me, because
Speaker 4: it kind of takes gall to admit when you're wrong
Speaker 4: or are seemingly wrong.
Speaker 1: Initially, their son didn't believe Joel. In fact, he came
Speaker 1: at Joel pretty hard, but after the renter cleared it up,
Speaker 1: he felt guilty for attacking his father and he humbled himself.
Speaker 4: I was in the passenger seat and it was just
Speaker 4: us in the car, and I apologized to him for
Speaker 4: how I treated him, and he accepted my apology and
Speaker 4: said thank you for saying that. But no, come to
Speaker 4: find out all of it was true.
Speaker 1: On the day Caroline and her kids confronted Joel in
Speaker 1: the RV, he admitted that he had in fact been
Speaker 1: having sex with the renner where we.
Speaker 2: Got and you had sex.
Speaker 4: At the We're in the house.
Speaker 2: In the basement, so you go down to that dirty,
Speaker 2: filthy basement and then had sex, unprotected sex.
Speaker 1: The entire scene at the rental property was pure theater
Speaker 1: Joel and the tenant played their parts.
Speaker 2: Well. We asked you, did you do this?
Speaker 1: Did you do this?
Speaker 5: You said no.
Speaker 1: Nicole couldn't believe it.
Speaker 2: Joel admitted that he contacted told her she got her
Speaker 2: not say anything to me.
Speaker 1: So when Caroline went to the rental property to investigate,
Speaker 1: Joel had already told the tenant to keep her mouth shut.
Speaker 1: Joel had sex on numerous occasions with the renter, but
Speaker 1: stood by while she took all the heat and he
Speaker 1: played the victim. It's a stark example of the split
Speaker 1: screen reality. The family has Joel on tape, at first
Speaker 1: playing the victim and then years later confessing in a cold,
Speaker 1: flat tone. Caroline has lived through this dichotomy many times.
Speaker 1: After D Day, Joel admitted to lies that were so disturbing.
Speaker 1: They weren't just a betrayal of his marriage vows. They
Speaker 1: were a trail of his oath as an officer. In
Speaker 1: episode one, we mentioned the George Floyd protests of twenty twenty.
Speaker 1: Joel told Caroline he was on the front lines as
Speaker 1: tensions escalated.
Speaker 2: People were throwing frozen water bottles or rocks, and he
Speaker 2: would say, oh, look look at this bruise that popped up.
Speaker 2: This was from a frozen water bottle. Years later, he
Speaker 2: confessed to me that all of the bruises that I
Speaker 2: was massaging or rubbing icy hot on were not a
Speaker 2: result of the riots at all. He admitted to me
Speaker 2: that he had been having an affair during those hours
Speaker 2: with a coworker, and he was having sex with her
Speaker 2: at their offices, at the police department, in various areas
Speaker 2: of town, or in his police car, and the marks
Speaker 2: and bruising were a result of his escapades.
Speaker 1: He accepted her sympathy and care, all the while knowing
Speaker 1: that he actually got the bruises from having rough sex
Speaker 1: with a coworker. We're going to come back to this coworker,
Speaker 1: but before we do, there's one more example of Joel
Speaker 1: using work as a cover of how low Joel was
Speaker 1: willing to go to avoid the truth.
Speaker 2: January of twenty twenty two, he had a moment where
Speaker 2: he was called out to an accident in the middle
Speaker 2: of the night, and he said it was a fatal
Speaker 2: accident and that he would be out for a little bit.
Speaker 2: This was uncommon.
Speaker 1: Part of Joel's job duties entailed supervising the major accident unit.
Speaker 1: This required him to go out to the scene of
Speaker 1: fatal accidents and oversee the investigation. He was called at
Speaker 1: all hours day or night.
Speaker 2: I was awake because he needed to get up to
Speaker 2: get ready to go out. He said goodbye to me,
Speaker 2: give me a kiss goodbye, and I said, you know,
Speaker 2: be safe. I'll see you when you get home.
Speaker 1: Like many families, they shared an app called Life three sixty,
Speaker 1: which helped them keep track of each other's locations.
Speaker 2: Why I couldn't go back to bed, I couldn't fall asleep,
Speaker 2: and so I'm sitting there kind of scrolling through social media,
Speaker 2: and then I see from one of the news sites
Speaker 2: that the accident that he was called out to had
Speaker 2: actually been cleaned up an hour hour and a half
Speaker 2: before that. It was already moved and done. So I
Speaker 2: looked at our Life three sixty and I saw him
Speaker 2: in just kind of this random location, not too far
Speaker 2: from our home. I texted him and I said, hey,
Speaker 2: where are you at. He didn't text back, and so
Speaker 2: I thought that's strange, because even if he was at
Speaker 2: some type of accident or call for service, almost always
Speaker 2: within minutes he would text back or you know, do
Speaker 2: an auto reply from his watch or something and say,
Speaker 2: can't talk right now, But I didn't get anything. So
Speaker 2: then I got a little concerned and I called him.
Speaker 2: He put me to voicemail immediately, and so I waited
Speaker 2: for a little bit, and then I texted him again
Speaker 2: and I said, Hey, I'm a little worried about you.
Speaker 2: And then he texted me back and said, I'm at
Speaker 2: a second accident scene. I'm headed to the hospital right
Speaker 2: now to help. I'll be home in a little bit.
Speaker 2: And so as he's saying this, I'm literally watching the
Speaker 2: phone where I can see him speeding to our house.
Speaker 2: He's not at another accident, he's not at the hospital,
Speaker 2: He's coming from somewhere. And so when he got home,
Speaker 2: I said, are you lying to me? And he said,
Speaker 2: what are you talking about?
Speaker 1: His location on the app didn't match what he told her.
Speaker 1: He was saying one thing and she was seeing another.
Speaker 1: Joel blamed the technology.
Speaker 2: That must be a cell phone tower pinging wrong. I
Speaker 2: was at the hospital. Oh my god, do you think
Speaker 2: I want to be out in the middle of the
Speaker 2: night any longer than I have to be? And so
Speaker 2: he just kept saying this to me to the point
Speaker 2: where I started feeling terrible. I felt guilty for questioning him.
Speaker 1: It's hard to look back on those moments, because when
Speaker 1: you love someone and believe in their love for you,
Speaker 1: you accept answers you believe.
Speaker 2: After we learned about his true colors and what he
Speaker 2: was really doing, I asked him about that night and
Speaker 2: he said, yeah, I had met someone on the internet
Speaker 2: and we arranged to meet at an exit close to
Speaker 2: the Air Force Academy and that's where I was at,
Speaker 2: and you caught me.
Speaker 1: The data didn't lie, Joel did. This punctured Caroline's perception
Speaker 1: of her husband. She used to see him as a
Speaker 1: hero to their community. Now she sees him as nothing
Speaker 1: but a liar. As for that coworker, Joel confessed to
Speaker 1: having sex with the one he actually got the bruises from.
Speaker 1: Caroline found her number and texted her, and to her surprise,
Speaker 1: she responded. Caroline was able to make contact with the
Speaker 1: woman that Joel had an affair with at CSPD via text,
Speaker 1: and she shared those texts with us.
Speaker 2: And so I wrote, Hi, this is Caroline Kern, the
Speaker 2: wife of whose husband you've been fucking. I look forward
Speaker 2: to discussing your affair that you started and conducted during work.
Speaker 2: Hours with internal affairs investigators.
Speaker 1: Caroline wanted the CSPD to know that this affair was
Speaker 1: going on during work hours on the taxpayer's dime. His
Speaker 1: former mistress responded.
Speaker 6: No, sorry, I ended what he started because he said
Speaker 6: he was leaving you and he was lying to everyone
Speaker 6: about himself. That was almost two years ago. Now I
Speaker 6: don't know what has happened or why he lost his job,
Speaker 6: but I'm not involved, nor have I talked to him
Speaker 6: since twenty twenty.
Speaker 7: Ish.
Speaker 6: You should look at getting HIV and HPV tested after
Speaker 6: his being involved in all that. I'm really sorry for
Speaker 6: whatever has happened, but he is a total lying piece
Speaker 6: of shit and you deserve better run.
Speaker 1: The woman may have been really sorry, but when my
Speaker 1: producer eventually contacted her, she didn't seem to have much
Speaker 1: sympathy for Caroline. What she did say, though, was illuminating.
Speaker 1: We recorded our conversation with the woman, and we've distorted
Speaker 1: her voice to protect her privacy. Oh yeah, she won't
Speaker 1: let this go.
Speaker 7: We'll see.
Speaker 1: She told us what she thought she knew about Caroline.
Speaker 7: Everybody seems to know Caroline and know what like. Everybody
Speaker 7: says that she's kind of a problem. And I'm not
Speaker 7: sure what that means. I'm wondering how much of a
Speaker 7: background you've done on her, because from what I understand,
Speaker 7: it wasn't and this is not coming from him. From
Speaker 7: what I understand is that you know, she was very
Speaker 7: controlling and not nice and something with some other family members.
Speaker 7: Shouldn't let him talk to his mom or something like that.
Speaker 1: This description went against everything we've heard about Caroline from
Speaker 1: her friends and family, and it helped us put together
Speaker 1: another piece of the puzzle how Joel kept his double
Speaker 1: life secret. You see, Colorado Springs isn't that big. One
Speaker 1: way to keep anyone from telling Caroline the truth was
Speaker 1: to paint her as the problem, and it seems like
Speaker 1: Joel did exactly that. Did you ever meet his wife? No,
Speaker 1: this coworker turned mistress wasn't the only one who heard
Speaker 1: similar things about Caroline at the department. It seemed that
Speaker 1: everyone at CSPD knew Joel's wife was kind of a problem.
Speaker 1: Here's a former CSPD officer we're calling Dan.
Speaker 8: Other officers I think that were much closer to him
Speaker 8: socially would always make some comments about like how maybe
Speaker 8: he had to get permission to just do anything with
Speaker 8: anyone else from her before he could do that. And
Speaker 8: you know, she kind of wore the pants in the house.
Speaker 8: That seemed to me to be somewhat common knowledge in
Speaker 8: the department.
Speaker 1: Joel's coworker was under the impression that he was leaving
Speaker 1: Caroline because that's what he told her. He lied to Caroline,
Speaker 1: and he lied to his mistress, and eventually she figured
Speaker 1: it out. Previously, I told you about Joel having a
Speaker 1: mental health episode. He and Caroline were attending their son's
Speaker 1: high school sporting event. It should have been a fun
Speaker 1: time out, but Joel was distracted.
Speaker 2: He became extremely withdrawn and very agitated. And so this
Speaker 2: is about twenty nineteen, now fast forward, after our life
Speaker 2: blew up. He actually admitted to me why he was
Speaker 2: desponded and behaving the way he was. It was because
Speaker 2: he had broken up with him. It wasn't anything to
Speaker 2: do with our son and driving and the concern or
Speaker 2: anything like that.
Speaker 1: The woman who texted Caroline saying I ended what he
Speaker 1: started had ended their relationship. Within a year of the affair,
Speaker 1: he planned an elaborate bow renewal. He stood before family
Speaker 1: and friends and professed his love for his wife.
Speaker 2: First time around, we did church bows. This time around,
Speaker 2: we're going to speak from the heart. And so we're
Speaker 2: before our friends and family out in this beautiful setting
Speaker 2: on the beach, and when he gets ready to start
Speaker 2: his vows, he gets down on one knee and he says,
Speaker 2: you know, over twenty years ago I impulsively asked you
Speaker 2: to marry me, and this time I want to do
Speaker 2: it right. Would you marry me all over again? And
Speaker 2: has this new, big, beautiful ring. And it was just
Speaker 2: such a shock and the surprise. I mean, I felt
Speaker 2: like life was perfect.
Speaker 1: On the day of his revelations. What was once a cherished,
Speaker 1: loving memory was destroyed. Here's their son.
Speaker 4: That was their firsthand and I witnessed the whole val
Speaker 4: renewal ceremony. But I don't think you can look at
Speaker 4: his actions now and say there could be any truth
Speaker 4: in it. Maybe he thought there was truth, but and
Speaker 4: his actions absolutely not. It's just you feel betrayal and
Speaker 4: just kind of a phoniness to it. And so to me,
Speaker 4: there's no point in even thinking back on it, because
Speaker 4: it was rooted in a lie.
Speaker 1: After April eleventh, as Caroline was going through Joel's emails,
Speaker 1: she found confirmation he had been sexting with someone just
Speaker 1: eight days after the vow renewal. It was with a
Speaker 1: person he'd met online. The person was asking for nudes. Instead,
Speaker 1: Joel sent them a selfie. In it, he's staring at
Speaker 1: the camera, lying back on the family couch. Caroline was
Speaker 1: so disturbed at the thought of their home being in
Speaker 1: Joel's pictures that she sold all the furniture in their
Speaker 1: living room. In the months before Joel was placed on leave,
Speaker 1: he could see the writing on the wall. He knew
Speaker 1: for months that he was being investigated work, but he
Speaker 1: kept that to himself. While Caroline was reflecting on her
Speaker 1: dual realities, she told us about an experience that happened
Speaker 1: just months before d Day. We weren't sure what to
Speaker 1: make of it, but it affected her so deeply. We
Speaker 1: wanted you to hear what happened.
Speaker 2: In November of twenty twenty one, our daughter had left
Speaker 2: for school for something very early in the morning. Joel
Speaker 2: had told me that he too was going to go
Speaker 2: into work early that day and that he'd semulater that night.
Speaker 2: I'm still in bed. He comes and kisses me goodbye
Speaker 2: and tells me to have a great day. And I
Speaker 2: was asleep still, and when I woke up, I woke
Speaker 2: up just kind of feeling this heaviness on my chest.
Speaker 1: It was hard to breathe. She was disoriented, Their daughter
Speaker 1: was already at school. Caroline was alone in the house.
Speaker 2: Like it was difficult to take a deep breath in,
Speaker 2: and my eyes were burning, and I heard this rumbling sound.
Speaker 2: Where is that coming from? Is that his truck? Is
Speaker 2: that his truck rumbling?
Speaker 1: Caroline's bedroom is on the first floor, just down the
Speaker 1: hallway from the garage.
Speaker 2: And so I got up and the auxiliary door to
Speaker 2: our garage.
Speaker 5: Was just a little open, and when I opened it,
Speaker 5: it was like a rush of fire almost hit my face,
Speaker 5: just kind of this warmth just hit me. The truck
Speaker 5: had been left running in our garage.
Speaker 2: I was panicked and didn't know what to do, and
Speaker 2: so I hit the garage open, and I went out
Speaker 2: to the driveway and I'm kind of walking around trying
Speaker 2: to get my sense about me, and I'm trying to
Speaker 2: take a big deep breath in, and uh, you know,
Speaker 2: I'm finally able to gather my bearings and I go
Speaker 2: over to open his truck to shut the engine off,
Speaker 2: and I can't open it's locked.
Speaker 1: So she ran back into the house to get the
Speaker 1: spare key.
Speaker 2: We have a key ring holder where we put all
Speaker 2: our keys. His police car was gone, and our daughters
Speaker 2: were gone, but his truck keys were hanging there, and
Speaker 2: so I got the truck keys down I was able
Speaker 2: to open the truck. I opened the truck and I
Speaker 2: turn off the engine, and I'm sitting there for a second,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, what the heck just happened.
Speaker 1: She had no idea how long the exhaust from Joel's
Speaker 1: truck had been seeping into the house. Caroline called Joel,
Speaker 1: flustered and upset.
Speaker 2: I said, you left the truck running with the garage
Speaker 2: door close and the door between the garage and the
Speaker 2: house just a little open. And he said I did.
Speaker 2: And I said, yeah, you did. And he was like, well,
Speaker 2: there's no way I did that. And I said, how
Speaker 2: would that happen? Then then he started saying that his
Speaker 2: truck keys must have been in his pocket and he
Speaker 2: must have accidentally hit the off start when he was
Speaker 2: pulling away in his cop car in the morning. I said,
Speaker 2: there's no way you could have done that. Both sets
Speaker 2: of truck keys are hanging on the keyring, and so
Speaker 2: we went back and forth, and he had me convinced
Speaker 2: that it had to be a manufacturer defect or something
Speaker 2: something happened.
Speaker 1: If it was a defect, it was one that could
Speaker 1: have lethal consequences. They never figured out how the car started.
Speaker 1: Caroline now wonders if she had really been safe in
Speaker 1: her home. That brings us to Sunday, April tenth, twenty
Speaker 1: twenty two. It was the day before their lives would
Speaker 1: change forever. Little did Caroline know the two worlds she
Speaker 1: didn't realize she was living were about to converge. During
Speaker 1: this time. One constant for Caroline and the kids had
Speaker 1: been their faith. Here's Nicole, I.
Speaker 3: Have my own little path I suppose with my religion,
Speaker 3: and so I was going to Mass pretty frequently before that.
Speaker 2: This is something that the kids might did together. He
Speaker 2: never went. He had always been a proclaimed atheist. And
Speaker 2: as our daughter and I are getting ready, he emerges
Speaker 2: and says he's going.
Speaker 1: With us again. This was Sunday, April tenth, when Joel
Speaker 1: suddenly showed interest in going to church that day. Nicole
Speaker 1: was excited and.
Speaker 2: Our daughter said, Daddy, are you serious, You're really going
Speaker 2: to go? To church with us, and he said, yes,
Speaker 2: I want to go with you guys. I want to
Speaker 2: be with you guys. And I think that maybe it's
Speaker 2: time I give church a chance.
Speaker 3: I thought like, maybe this is the beginning of something
Speaker 3: new or something. I was really happy that he wanted
Speaker 3: to have family time.
Speaker 1: The family thought Joel may have been reconsidering his relationship
Speaker 1: with religion, but in reality, his secrets were teetering on
Speaker 1: the edge of exposure. Cole reflects on that day. Now
Speaker 1: she sees Joel's desire to go to church in a
Speaker 1: completely different light.
Speaker 3: Looking back on it. Maybe it was his last resorts,
Speaker 3: a call upon the Big Man.
Speaker 1: I suppose call it a hail Mary. Or maybe Joel
Speaker 1: wanted to remind the family about the virtue of forgiveness.
Speaker 1: But at the time it felt like a lovely family.
Speaker 2: Sunday, we went to breakfast together after church, and I
Speaker 2: still have silly pictures we took at the coffee shop
Speaker 2: we were at. We even went to Costco together. We
Speaker 2: just had this really good day together and I just
Speaker 2: remember thinking to myself how thankful I was that Joel
Speaker 2: was wanting to be healthy, and that maybe some of
Speaker 2: these changes that felt scary, were about ready to be
Speaker 2: just really positive things for him.
Speaker 1: It was the last good day they'd ever have as
Speaker 1: a family. Joel's deception didn't just destroy his career, his marriage,
Speaker 1: or his family. They destroyed Caroline's memory of her entire
Speaker 1: adult life. Even the best memories, like the birth of
Speaker 1: her first child, are tainted forever. No memory is sacred,
Speaker 1: you know, At.
Speaker 2: Random, we'll see a picture and it's like, oh, gosh,
Speaker 2: there we were at Disney World together, and then my
Speaker 2: brain goes too, God, that was such a great trip.
Speaker 2: But what were you doing when we weren't looking.
Speaker 1: On the next episode of Betrayal, we'll take you inside
Speaker 1: CSPD Internal Affairs on the day Joel's double life finally
Speaker 1: caught up with him.
Speaker 7: The slip up proves that you're unable to keep track
Speaker 7: of all your lives, and quite frankly, I question how
Speaker 7: many other women are out there that may bring forward
Speaker 7: allegations in the future.
Speaker 1: The department finally realizes what they've got in Lieutenant Joel Kern,
Speaker 1: But how do you catch a master manipulator and a
Speaker 1: lie Thank you for listening to Betrayal Season four. If
Speaker 1: you would like to reach out to the Betrayal team.
Speaker 1: Email us at Betrayal Pod at gmail dot com. That's
Speaker 1: Betrayal Pod at gmail dot com. Also, please be sure
Speaker 1: to follow us on Instagram at Betrayal Pod and me
Speaker 1: Andrea H. Gunning for all Betrayal content, news and updates.
Speaker 1: One way to support the series is by subscribing to
Speaker 1: our show on Apple Podcasts. Please rate and review Betrayal
Speaker 1: five star reviews help us know you appreciate what we do.
Speaker 1: Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of
Speaker 1: Glass Entertainment Group, in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show
Speaker 1: is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fason. Betrayal
Speaker 1: is hosted and produced by me Andrea Gunning, written and
Speaker 1: produced by Kerrie Hartman, also produced by Ben Fetterman. Our
Speaker 1: associate producers are Kaitlyn Golden and Kristin Melcury. Our iHeart
Speaker 1: team is Ali Perry and Jessica Crincheck. Story editing by
Speaker 1: Monique Leboard, Audio editing and mixing by Matt Alvecchio, editing
Speaker 1: by Tanner Robbins. Special thanks to voice actors Kitlin Golden
Speaker 1: and Rocky All, and special thanks to Caroline and her family.
Speaker 1: Betrayal's theme is composed by Oliver Baines. Music library provided
Speaker 1: by my Music and For more podcasts from iHeart, visit
Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.