WEBVTT - S4: EP 3 — Revisionist History 0:00:00.520 --> 0:00:03.680 Hey guys. Before we get into the episode, a quick note. 0:00:03.760 --> 0:00:06.360 We're looking for news stories of betrayal for our weekly 0:00:06.400 --> 0:00:10.840 Betrayal series, which returns in August. If you've experienced betrayal 0:00:10.880 --> 0:00:13.680 and feel ready to share your story, now is a 0:00:13.680 --> 0:00:16.959 great time to reach out. Email us at Betrayal Pod 0:00:17.040 --> 0:00:25.720 at gmail dot com. That's Betrayal Pod at gmail dot com. 0:00:25.880 --> 0:00:28.840 I woke up just kind of feeling this heaviness on 0:00:28.880 --> 0:00:31.760 my chest, like it was difficult to take a deep 0:00:31.760 --> 0:00:34.720 breath in, and my eyes were burning, and you can 0:00:34.760 --> 0:00:39.120 smell the exhaust and you heard this rumbling sound. Where 0:00:39.159 --> 0:00:43.479 is that coming from? Is that his truck? Is that 0:00:43.520 --> 0:00:44.519 his truck rumbling? 0:00:57.800 --> 0:01:00.640 I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is Betrayal C Season four, 0:01:00.800 --> 0:01:10.600 Episode three, Revisionist History. April eleventh, twenty twenty two was 0:01:10.640 --> 0:01:14.600 Caroline's d day, the day that split her life in two. 0:01:15.959 --> 0:01:18.600 It was the day her husband, Joel Kern, told her 0:01:18.640 --> 0:01:21.240 that he had received oral sex in his police vehicle 0:01:21.400 --> 0:01:25.120 while on duty. It was also the day he was 0:01:25.200 --> 0:01:29.160 placed on leave pending termination, threatening the job their family 0:01:29.200 --> 0:01:34.120 had sacrificed so much for. For Caroline, this wasn't just 0:01:34.160 --> 0:01:38.080 about infidelity. It was about twenty years of lies, a 0:01:38.120 --> 0:01:42.920 picture perfect family that never truly was. To fully understand 0:01:42.959 --> 0:01:45.800 the impact of Joel's betrayal, we need to go back 0:01:45.840 --> 0:01:48.680 in time to a few key moments in Caroline and 0:01:48.760 --> 0:01:53.880 Joel's marriage. There were two realities happening, and we're going 0:01:53.920 --> 0:01:57.480 to show you the split screen, on one side what 0:01:57.560 --> 0:02:01.680 Caroline experienced in the moment, and on the other, what 0:02:01.800 --> 0:02:05.520 Joel was really doing behind the scenes. Let's start with 0:02:05.560 --> 0:02:09.440 the life Caroline thought she had with Joel before April eleventh, 0:02:09.600 --> 0:02:10.480 twenty twenty two. 0:02:14.040 --> 0:02:17.720 We had, in my opinion, what would be a fairy 0:02:17.720 --> 0:02:21.680 tale family for a law enforcement family. We made the 0:02:21.680 --> 0:02:25.359 best of everything. We were traveling together and we had 0:02:25.360 --> 0:02:30.520 these kids who were just rock stars. We were talking 0:02:30.560 --> 0:02:33.040 about what it was going to look like to retire 0:02:33.840 --> 0:02:36.640 and not have a care in the world for day 0:02:36.680 --> 0:02:41.280 to day life. We had this dream together. We were 0:02:41.320 --> 0:02:45.840 not perfect, but we damn sure lived a beautiful and 0:02:45.960 --> 0:02:48.360 blessed life before that day. 0:02:48.840 --> 0:02:53.000 But after April eleventh, I was lost. 0:02:53.440 --> 0:02:57.120 To say I was numb is an understatement, like I 0:02:57.200 --> 0:02:59.359 have been with this person for more than half my life. 0:02:59.440 --> 0:03:02.200 He is all I have known. It just was this 0:03:02.560 --> 0:03:05.600 feeling of what the hell am I going to do? 0:03:07.880 --> 0:03:11.160 In the days after D Day, Joel made a series 0:03:11.200 --> 0:03:15.639 of confessions. Every time he spoke with Caroline, he revealed 0:03:15.680 --> 0:03:19.440 new details about what he had done, and Caroline began 0:03:19.520 --> 0:03:21.919 to replay the tape of her own life with Joel. 0:03:23.000 --> 0:03:26.720 That process brought up old memories, Moments that had been 0:03:26.760 --> 0:03:29.760 buried deep in her mind now took on new meaning. 0:03:32.880 --> 0:03:36.040 Let's start back in two thousand and one. Caroline was 0:03:36.040 --> 0:03:38.440 twenty five years old when she and Joel got married, 0:03:39.640 --> 0:03:42.640 and in episode one, we shared that Joel's childhood friend 0:03:42.960 --> 0:03:47.440 read this passage at their wedding. Love is patient and kind. 0:03:48.200 --> 0:03:50.200 Love does not envy or boast. 0:03:50.480 --> 0:03:53.520 He invited a childhood friend to do a reading and 0:03:53.800 --> 0:03:55.720 she was excited to be part of the ceremony. 0:03:56.960 --> 0:04:00.960 Only six months after the wedding, something happened. It was 0:04:01.000 --> 0:04:03.880 two thousand and one and email communication was still new 0:04:03.920 --> 0:04:07.040 for some people. Caroline's aunt was using email for the 0:04:07.040 --> 0:04:10.760 first time, so Caroline decided to send her a message. 0:04:11.080 --> 0:04:14.480 As I logged on, I couldn't get into my email account. 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:17.800 I noticed, though, that Joel's was already up, and so 0:04:17.839 --> 0:04:19.320 I thought, oh, she'll get a kick out of this. 0:04:19.360 --> 0:04:22.200 Even more because she'll think it's coming from Joel as 0:04:22.240 --> 0:04:23.120 well as myself. 0:04:23.720 --> 0:04:27.520 Caroline sent the email, but then she saw the preview 0:04:27.560 --> 0:04:31.800 lines to other emails Joel had recently received. 0:04:31.680 --> 0:04:34.919 And I noticed the friends who did their reading on 0:04:34.960 --> 0:04:39.600 our wedding. There were several email correspondences with. 0:04:39.680 --> 0:04:43.960 Her, and the preview lines made Caroline look twice. 0:04:44.000 --> 0:04:48.120 And so I clicked and started reading through them, and 0:04:48.640 --> 0:04:53.360 there was email after email exchange between the pair discussing 0:04:53.520 --> 0:04:56.200 what it would have been like had they married each other, 0:04:56.680 --> 0:04:59.760 or if they ever had a opportunity for romantic a 0:05:01.080 --> 0:05:02.679 and they got pretty graphic. 0:05:05.720 --> 0:05:09.240 Just months after their wedding, Joel was having an online 0:05:09.279 --> 0:05:13.080 sexual conversation with a woman who was part of their ceremony, 0:05:13.839 --> 0:05:16.080 a woman who had read the words. 0:05:16.200 --> 0:05:20.760 Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 0:05:22.400 --> 0:05:25.359 Caroline was stunned. She left a note next to the 0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:29.720 computer letting Joel know that she had seen the emails. 0:05:30.040 --> 0:05:37.240 Then she fled to her parents' house. Eventually she returned 0:05:37.240 --> 0:05:38.600 home to confront him. 0:05:39.839 --> 0:05:43.720 I pull into the garage, opened the door, walked through 0:05:43.720 --> 0:05:48.640 the house and he's on his knees waiting for me, 0:05:50.760 --> 0:05:54.719 and he's crying and crying and over and over, just 0:05:54.760 --> 0:05:58.040 assured me that it was just merely for attention and 0:05:58.080 --> 0:06:00.839 that you know, look, I'll do anything. And then he said, 0:06:01.200 --> 0:06:03.120 you know, I'll go to counseling to assure you that 0:06:03.160 --> 0:06:06.560 I'll never let this happen again. And so I said, yeah, 0:06:07.400 --> 0:06:10.400 because at this point there's no trust. 0:06:10.920 --> 0:06:13.280 Joel said he was committed to showing Caroline that he 0:06:13.360 --> 0:06:18.000 was serious, and they found a marriage counselor. During counseling, 0:06:18.160 --> 0:06:22.280 Joel attributed his behavior to job stress and residual grief 0:06:22.440 --> 0:06:26.960 from his father's death three years prior. Joel said and 0:06:27.000 --> 0:06:30.640 did all the right things. He apologized with tears streaming 0:06:30.680 --> 0:06:33.760 down his face. He promised it would never happen again, 0:06:34.560 --> 0:06:39.320 and Caroline believed him. After all, it was only a 0:06:39.360 --> 0:06:40.120 few emails. 0:06:41.040 --> 0:06:45.520 I convinced myself there was no physical cheating, and so 0:06:45.960 --> 0:06:49.000 we were able to work through this. Early on, when 0:06:49.160 --> 0:06:52.440 he did this, I thought naively that this was going 0:06:52.480 --> 0:06:53.360 to make us stronger. 0:06:55.000 --> 0:06:58.960 After D Day, Caroline returned to this memory and she 0:06:59.120 --> 0:07:03.279 realized this was the first time she chose to see 0:07:03.320 --> 0:07:10.240 the best in Joel. Once Caroline forgave Joel, their love 0:07:10.320 --> 0:07:14.240 appeared to grow stronger. Just like she'd hoped, and a 0:07:14.280 --> 0:07:18.000 couple of years later, Caroline became pregnant with her first child. 0:07:18.680 --> 0:07:21.320 In the final doctor's appointment before she was due to 0:07:21.360 --> 0:07:25.160 give birth, Joel didn't show up. He said he had 0:07:25.240 --> 0:07:30.080 an important work lunch. But at that appointment, Caroline's doctor 0:07:30.160 --> 0:07:33.880 recommended she'd be induced right away, so she called Joel, 0:07:34.200 --> 0:07:36.800 begging him to meet her at the hospital. When he 0:07:36.840 --> 0:07:38.920 got there, he seemed off. 0:07:40.560 --> 0:07:44.520 Joel had been complaining he was super tired and it's 0:07:44.520 --> 0:07:50.720 hard to like confess and admit this now, and very 0:07:50.760 --> 0:07:56.040 few people know this. But when it came time to push, 0:07:56.200 --> 0:07:58.000 the doctor came in and sat me up and said, 0:07:58.040 --> 0:08:00.560 you know, here's what we're gonna do. What started explaining things, 0:08:00.640 --> 0:08:02.920 and Joel raised his finger and said, can you guys 0:08:02.960 --> 0:08:05.240 just all hold on for a minute so that I 0:08:05.240 --> 0:08:10.640 can use the bathroom, And everyone just got real quiet, 0:08:13.960 --> 0:08:16.640 and the doctor said, why don't you go ahead and 0:08:16.680 --> 0:08:18.640 take care of yourself and we'll stay with your wife. 0:08:21.440 --> 0:08:24.679 And the nurse who was in the room, she asked 0:08:24.680 --> 0:08:26.160 if I was okay and safe at home? 0:08:27.960 --> 0:08:33.480 It was humiliating. 0:08:32.640 --> 0:08:35.880 After our son was born. He said that he was 0:08:36.120 --> 0:08:40.520 just incredibly tired, that he had gotten no sleep because 0:08:40.520 --> 0:08:42.760 of work and said that he was going to go 0:08:42.800 --> 0:08:50.320 home and get sleep. Meanwhile, I was alone at the 0:08:50.360 --> 0:08:52.720 hospital with our newborn son. 0:08:54.040 --> 0:08:56.679 This is one of the most difficult memories for Caroline 0:08:56.720 --> 0:09:01.040 to revisit. The very first day of her son's life. 0:09:01.280 --> 0:09:04.040 Joel was mia. 0:09:03.480 --> 0:09:06.880 Starting bright and early in the morning. His colleagues and 0:09:06.920 --> 0:09:12.160 his coworkers were coming in to congratulate us, and Joel 0:09:12.240 --> 0:09:17.000 wasn't there. And so I called him and said, all 0:09:17.040 --> 0:09:20.040 of your coworkers are coming in and people are asking 0:09:20.080 --> 0:09:22.400 where you're at. Are you going to come to the 0:09:22.400 --> 0:09:25.880 hospital see the baby and I And so he said, 0:09:25.880 --> 0:09:28.240 I just really needed a night to catch up on sleep. 0:09:28.960 --> 0:09:34.559 Caroline assumed Joel really was exhausted, maybe he was overwhelmed 0:09:34.600 --> 0:09:39.120 by the reality of becoming a father. But now she's 0:09:39.120 --> 0:09:41.800 forced to look back and ask herself. 0:09:42.280 --> 0:09:45.880 Did he leave that night after I had our son 0:09:46.200 --> 0:09:50.640 to go be with someone or do something? I don't know. 0:09:50.840 --> 0:09:52.920 I would hope not. I hope that he went home 0:09:53.000 --> 0:09:55.320 just to get some sleep. But it's something now that 0:09:55.360 --> 0:09:56.000 I've replayed. 0:09:57.040 --> 0:09:59.360 Caroline knew what she was getting into when she married 0:09:59.400 --> 0:10:03.080 a cop. Her eyes were wide open. There would be 0:10:03.160 --> 0:10:06.280 times when Joel would have to prioritize work and she 0:10:06.320 --> 0:10:09.480 would be the one to pull the weight. But when 0:10:09.480 --> 0:10:12.800 it came to big moments like the birth of their child, 0:10:13.640 --> 0:10:17.200 she thought surely the family would come first, and if 0:10:17.240 --> 0:10:21.080 anything ever happened to their children, she expected Joel to 0:10:21.120 --> 0:10:25.760 be by her side. We're going to fast forward to 0:10:25.840 --> 0:10:29.560 January of twenty nineteen, when their daughter, Nicole was admitted 0:10:29.559 --> 0:10:31.800 to the hospital. She was thirteen. 0:10:32.760 --> 0:10:37.200 She had a very severe bacterial infection that grew concern 0:10:37.280 --> 0:10:39.360 for her being septic, and so she was admitted to 0:10:39.480 --> 0:10:42.240 a children's hospital for about a week. 0:10:42.880 --> 0:10:46.080 That was one of the first times I ever saw 0:10:46.200 --> 0:10:50.520 my mom cry. I just was not doing well. I 0:10:50.880 --> 0:10:54.040 was weak and lost twenty pounds in a week. 0:10:54.559 --> 0:10:57.720 The timing couldn't have been worse for Joel. He'd just 0:10:57.800 --> 0:11:01.520 been nominated for the permanent public Information Officer position. 0:11:02.280 --> 0:11:05.199 Joel was insistent that he couldn't take any time off 0:11:05.320 --> 0:11:08.599 work to come stay with her because it would be 0:11:08.640 --> 0:11:09.160 a bad look. 0:11:09.600 --> 0:11:13.480 I wanted him around, but I just constantly had this 0:11:13.640 --> 0:11:18.079 notion in my head that my dad couldn't sacrifice work 0:11:19.080 --> 0:11:22.720 like he had to be there, and so I don't 0:11:22.720 --> 0:11:25.600 think it was even really a choice in my head 0:11:25.679 --> 0:11:27.000 that he could be there. 0:11:27.880 --> 0:11:31.280 They were used to Joel putting work first. He couldn't 0:11:31.320 --> 0:11:34.000 be there to support Caroline or care for his daughter. 0:11:34.920 --> 0:11:37.679 It was disappointing, but not surprising. 0:11:38.240 --> 0:11:41.960 I now know why he really wasn't there. I found 0:11:42.960 --> 0:11:46.320 very clear evidence later that he had made arrangements to 0:11:46.360 --> 0:11:48.600 meet someone for sex. 0:12:11.600 --> 0:12:14.080 When Caroline first told her mom she met the man 0:12:14.160 --> 0:12:18.000 she was going to marry, her mom said, Jesus Christ, 0:12:18.240 --> 0:12:23.040 you'd better not be a cop. But over the course 0:12:23.080 --> 0:12:26.520 of their marriage, he became incredibly close with Caroline's family, 0:12:27.200 --> 0:12:30.600 so close that when her mother passed away, he served 0:12:30.640 --> 0:12:34.720 as the executor of her estate. Among the assets passed 0:12:34.720 --> 0:12:37.440 down to Caroline was a rental property she didn't want 0:12:37.480 --> 0:12:40.920 to keep. However, Joel convinced her that it would be 0:12:41.000 --> 0:12:45.559 wise to hold onto it. It would provide passive income. 0:12:46.160 --> 0:12:48.839 He promised to manage it for her, and he did. 0:12:49.360 --> 0:12:52.400 He found the runners and handled all the communication with them, 0:12:52.960 --> 0:12:56.960 But unbeknownst to Caroline, he was using that property for 0:12:57.000 --> 0:13:03.400 another reason. We're going to go to April twenty twenty. 0:13:04.760 --> 0:13:07.040 When Caroline looks back on this day, she sees it 0:13:07.080 --> 0:13:11.280 as Joel's closest call, a near miss, A day that 0:13:11.480 --> 0:13:15.040 could have been her d day, but it wasn't because 0:13:15.080 --> 0:13:19.200 on this day, Joel was able to stay in control. 0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:21.880 Here's their son's memory of what happened. 0:13:23.040 --> 0:13:24.440 I was still in high school. I had to be 0:13:24.960 --> 0:13:27.920 sophomore junior year. I get home from school and I 0:13:28.120 --> 0:13:31.120 usually my mom will greet me or say something when 0:13:31.120 --> 0:13:34.000 I get home, but I didn't hear anything. And so 0:13:34.080 --> 0:13:36.600 I go up to the office and I see my 0:13:36.720 --> 0:13:41.960 mom just in tears, and she's beside herself, and she 0:13:42.040 --> 0:13:44.640 showed me. She said, look at what this person just 0:13:44.679 --> 0:13:45.840 messaged me on Facebook. 0:13:46.720 --> 0:13:49.439 The message claimed that Joel was sleeping with the tenant 0:13:49.520 --> 0:13:51.160 that was living in their rental property. 0:13:51.880 --> 0:13:56.480 And then my dad gets home and he's confronted with 0:13:56.520 --> 0:14:02.240 it by my mom and he denies it. And I 0:14:02.280 --> 0:14:07.880 remember confronting him and I told him, I said, if 0:14:07.880 --> 0:14:09.920 this is true, like we're done. I'm never fucking talking 0:14:09.920 --> 0:14:10.400 to you again. 0:14:11.400 --> 0:14:15.360 Joel told Caroline somebody was messing with them. Who and 0:14:15.440 --> 0:14:19.040 why he didn't know. But here's the thing about Joel. 0:14:19.480 --> 0:14:25.880 He didn't get anxious or crazy. He was calm. Caroline 0:14:25.920 --> 0:14:28.560 insisted on going to the rental property with Joel to 0:14:28.600 --> 0:14:31.840 get to the bottom of it. Not knowing what to expect, 0:14:32.560 --> 0:14:34.080 Caroline taped the encounter. 0:14:36.400 --> 0:14:42.000 Hello, what's going on? Well, you tell me. 0:14:43.240 --> 0:14:46.240 The tenant blamed her ex boyfriend, saying he was looking 0:14:46.240 --> 0:14:49.840 for revenge after their breakup. She strongly denied there was 0:14:49.880 --> 0:14:51.880 any relationship between her and Joel. 0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:52.720 Why. 0:14:52.760 --> 0:14:54.240 I don't know if he's just trying to get to 0:14:54.280 --> 0:14:56.480 me to hurt me. I had no idea, because the 0:14:56.520 --> 0:14:57.720 thing is I was trying to break up with him. 0:14:57.920 --> 0:14:59.640 We have art time's arguments, and then he's trying to 0:14:59.640 --> 0:15:03.320 be nice to Caroline was furious with the situation. How 0:15:03.320 --> 0:15:05.800 did her family get mixed up in the runner's drama 0:15:06.400 --> 0:15:09.200 and how did the runner's ex boyfriend even know who 0:15:09.280 --> 0:15:09.920 Joel was? 0:15:10.280 --> 0:15:13.560 So you said something, You said something to make some 0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:16.120 psychopath think this about. 0:15:15.800 --> 0:15:19.120 My husband, and here's Joel defending himself in the moment. 0:15:19.440 --> 0:15:22.400 This psychopath is got me on the road to a divorce. 0:15:22.640 --> 0:15:24.040 My kids want me out of the house. 0:15:24.720 --> 0:15:28.560 Remember this was the before times. Caroline and the kids 0:15:28.640 --> 0:15:31.600 believed Joel had nothing to do with the tenant. 0:15:31.880 --> 0:15:36.720 He proved his innocence, Seemingly to us. 0:15:37.080 --> 0:15:39.360 Joel was able to keep his family together and put 0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:42.680 this mix up behind them. That didn't change how their 0:15:42.720 --> 0:15:45.720 son felt when he first heard about the accusation. 0:15:46.600 --> 0:15:49.320 I mean, I was an asshole to him after this, 0:15:50.480 --> 0:15:53.200 and I remember we were in the car together driving, 0:15:53.840 --> 0:15:56.920 and this was a very memorable moment for me, because 0:15:57.520 --> 0:16:01.480 it kind of takes gall to admit when you're wrong 0:16:01.880 --> 0:16:03.120 or are seemingly wrong. 0:16:04.000 --> 0:16:07.920 Initially, their son didn't believe Joel. In fact, he came 0:16:07.960 --> 0:16:11.960 at Joel pretty hard, but after the renter cleared it up, 0:16:12.440 --> 0:16:17.440 he felt guilty for attacking his father and he humbled himself. 0:16:17.920 --> 0:16:19.880 I was in the passenger seat and it was just 0:16:19.960 --> 0:16:22.560 us in the car, and I apologized to him for 0:16:22.640 --> 0:16:25.720 how I treated him, and he accepted my apology and 0:16:25.800 --> 0:16:29.400 said thank you for saying that. But no, come to 0:16:29.440 --> 0:16:30.800 find out all of it was true. 0:16:32.240 --> 0:16:34.920 On the day Caroline and her kids confronted Joel in 0:16:34.960 --> 0:16:39.240 the RV, he admitted that he had in fact been 0:16:39.280 --> 0:16:42.160 having sex with the renner where we. 0:16:42.080 --> 0:16:43.240 Got and you had sex. 0:16:44.520 --> 0:16:46.440 At the We're in the house. 0:16:48.200 --> 0:16:52.520 In the basement, so you go down to that dirty, 0:16:52.560 --> 0:16:55.800 filthy basement and then had sex, unprotected sex. 0:16:56.560 --> 0:16:59.280 The entire scene at the rental property was pure theater 0:17:00.040 --> 0:17:01.760 Joel and the tenant played their parts. 0:17:01.800 --> 0:17:04.879 Well. We asked you, did you do this? 0:17:05.080 --> 0:17:05.760 Did you do this? 0:17:06.640 --> 0:17:07.200 You said no. 0:17:08.560 --> 0:17:10.720 Nicole couldn't believe it. 0:17:11.160 --> 0:17:15.679 Joel admitted that he contacted told her she got her 0:17:15.720 --> 0:17:16.720 not say anything to me. 0:17:17.640 --> 0:17:20.680 So when Caroline went to the rental property to investigate, 0:17:21.280 --> 0:17:24.479 Joel had already told the tenant to keep her mouth shut. 0:17:26.160 --> 0:17:29.480 Joel had sex on numerous occasions with the renter, but 0:17:29.560 --> 0:17:32.520 stood by while she took all the heat and he 0:17:32.560 --> 0:17:37.840 played the victim. It's a stark example of the split 0:17:37.880 --> 0:17:41.600 screen reality. The family has Joel on tape, at first 0:17:41.680 --> 0:17:45.920 playing the victim and then years later confessing in a cold, 0:17:46.080 --> 0:17:51.440 flat tone. Caroline has lived through this dichotomy many times. 0:17:52.200 --> 0:17:55.720 After D Day, Joel admitted to lies that were so disturbing. 0:17:56.440 --> 0:17:59.520 They weren't just a betrayal of his marriage vows. They 0:17:59.560 --> 0:18:04.560 were a trail of his oath as an officer. In 0:18:04.600 --> 0:18:08.399 episode one, we mentioned the George Floyd protests of twenty twenty. 0:18:09.240 --> 0:18:12.200 Joel told Caroline he was on the front lines as 0:18:12.320 --> 0:18:13.520 tensions escalated. 0:18:13.920 --> 0:18:17.359 People were throwing frozen water bottles or rocks, and he 0:18:17.359 --> 0:18:19.760 would say, oh, look look at this bruise that popped up. 0:18:19.800 --> 0:18:22.879 This was from a frozen water bottle. Years later, he 0:18:23.000 --> 0:18:25.560 confessed to me that all of the bruises that I 0:18:25.920 --> 0:18:30.960 was massaging or rubbing icy hot on were not a 0:18:31.040 --> 0:18:34.639 result of the riots at all. He admitted to me 0:18:34.760 --> 0:18:38.160 that he had been having an affair during those hours 0:18:38.400 --> 0:18:43.720 with a coworker, and he was having sex with her 0:18:43.960 --> 0:18:48.119 at their offices, at the police department, in various areas 0:18:48.119 --> 0:18:51.320 of town, or in his police car, and the marks 0:18:51.400 --> 0:18:53.679 and bruising were a result of his escapades. 0:18:54.680 --> 0:18:58.520 He accepted her sympathy and care, all the while knowing 0:18:59.040 --> 0:19:02.399 that he actually got the bruises from having rough sex 0:19:02.960 --> 0:19:07.200 with a coworker. We're going to come back to this coworker, 0:19:07.680 --> 0:19:10.320 but before we do, there's one more example of Joel 0:19:10.440 --> 0:19:13.600 using work as a cover of how low Joel was 0:19:13.640 --> 0:19:15.479 willing to go to avoid the truth. 0:19:16.320 --> 0:19:21.520 January of twenty twenty two, he had a moment where 0:19:21.520 --> 0:19:23.720 he was called out to an accident in the middle 0:19:23.760 --> 0:19:25.240 of the night, and he said it was a fatal 0:19:25.320 --> 0:19:27.680 accident and that he would be out for a little bit. 0:19:27.920 --> 0:19:29.000 This was uncommon. 0:19:29.600 --> 0:19:33.960 Part of Joel's job duties entailed supervising the major accident unit. 0:19:34.920 --> 0:19:36.920 This required him to go out to the scene of 0:19:36.960 --> 0:19:41.600 fatal accidents and oversee the investigation. He was called at 0:19:41.640 --> 0:19:43.280 all hours day or night. 0:19:44.359 --> 0:19:46.320 I was awake because he needed to get up to 0:19:46.359 --> 0:19:48.560 get ready to go out. He said goodbye to me, 0:19:48.600 --> 0:19:50.560 give me a kiss goodbye, and I said, you know, 0:19:50.880 --> 0:19:52.439 be safe. I'll see you when you get home. 0:19:53.160 --> 0:19:56.280 Like many families, they shared an app called Life three sixty, 0:19:56.640 --> 0:19:59.200 which helped them keep track of each other's locations. 0:19:59.720 --> 0:20:01.879 Why I couldn't go back to bed, I couldn't fall asleep, 0:20:02.480 --> 0:20:05.600 and so I'm sitting there kind of scrolling through social media, 0:20:05.840 --> 0:20:08.760 and then I see from one of the news sites 0:20:08.800 --> 0:20:10.800 that the accident that he was called out to had 0:20:10.880 --> 0:20:13.600 actually been cleaned up an hour hour and a half 0:20:13.640 --> 0:20:19.719 before that. It was already moved and done. So I 0:20:19.760 --> 0:20:21.800 looked at our Life three sixty and I saw him 0:20:21.800 --> 0:20:25.120 in just kind of this random location, not too far 0:20:25.160 --> 0:20:28.359 from our home. I texted him and I said, hey, 0:20:28.400 --> 0:20:31.240 where are you at. He didn't text back, and so 0:20:31.400 --> 0:20:33.960 I thought that's strange, because even if he was at 0:20:34.000 --> 0:20:36.800 some type of accident or call for service, almost always 0:20:37.240 --> 0:20:39.919 within minutes he would text back or you know, do 0:20:39.960 --> 0:20:42.240 an auto reply from his watch or something and say, 0:20:42.440 --> 0:20:47.359 can't talk right now, But I didn't get anything. So 0:20:47.440 --> 0:20:50.400 then I got a little concerned and I called him. 0:20:51.000 --> 0:20:54.359 He put me to voicemail immediately, and so I waited 0:20:54.359 --> 0:20:56.520 for a little bit, and then I texted him again 0:20:56.560 --> 0:20:58.560 and I said, Hey, I'm a little worried about you. 0:20:59.160 --> 0:21:01.160 And then he texted me back and said, I'm at 0:21:01.160 --> 0:21:04.280 a second accident scene. I'm headed to the hospital right 0:21:04.320 --> 0:21:07.120 now to help. I'll be home in a little bit. 0:21:08.040 --> 0:21:11.399 And so as he's saying this, I'm literally watching the 0:21:11.480 --> 0:21:15.919 phone where I can see him speeding to our house. 0:21:17.320 --> 0:21:20.200 He's not at another accident, he's not at the hospital, 0:21:21.080 --> 0:21:24.119 He's coming from somewhere. And so when he got home, 0:21:24.400 --> 0:21:27.440 I said, are you lying to me? And he said, 0:21:27.440 --> 0:21:28.399 what are you talking about? 0:21:28.960 --> 0:21:32.040 His location on the app didn't match what he told her. 0:21:32.640 --> 0:21:35.560 He was saying one thing and she was seeing another. 0:21:36.760 --> 0:21:38.320 Joel blamed the technology. 0:21:39.400 --> 0:21:42.719 That must be a cell phone tower pinging wrong. I 0:21:42.840 --> 0:21:45.840 was at the hospital. Oh my god, do you think 0:21:45.880 --> 0:21:47.080 I want to be out in the middle of the 0:21:47.160 --> 0:21:49.639 night any longer than I have to be? And so 0:21:50.040 --> 0:21:51.840 he just kept saying this to me to the point 0:21:51.880 --> 0:21:58.560 where I started feeling terrible. I felt guilty for questioning him. 0:21:59.119 --> 0:22:01.920 It's hard to look back on those moments, because when 0:22:01.920 --> 0:22:05.240 you love someone and believe in their love for you, 0:22:06.200 --> 0:22:08.920 you accept answers you believe. 0:22:10.240 --> 0:22:15.840 After we learned about his true colors and what he 0:22:15.960 --> 0:22:18.480 was really doing, I asked him about that night and 0:22:18.560 --> 0:22:21.359 he said, yeah, I had met someone on the internet 0:22:21.800 --> 0:22:24.679 and we arranged to meet at an exit close to 0:22:24.720 --> 0:22:27.560 the Air Force Academy and that's where I was at, 0:22:27.640 --> 0:22:28.320 and you caught me. 0:22:29.359 --> 0:22:34.760 The data didn't lie, Joel did. This punctured Caroline's perception 0:22:34.840 --> 0:22:37.560 of her husband. She used to see him as a 0:22:37.600 --> 0:22:41.000 hero to their community. Now she sees him as nothing 0:22:41.160 --> 0:22:45.560 but a liar. As for that coworker, Joel confessed to 0:22:45.560 --> 0:22:49.200 having sex with the one he actually got the bruises from. 0:22:50.200 --> 0:22:54.320 Caroline found her number and texted her, and to her surprise, 0:22:55.840 --> 0:23:21.480 she responded. Caroline was able to make contact with the 0:23:21.520 --> 0:23:24.760 woman that Joel had an affair with at CSPD via text, 0:23:25.400 --> 0:23:28.920 and she shared those texts with us. 0:23:28.000 --> 0:23:31.199 And so I wrote, Hi, this is Caroline Kern, the 0:23:31.200 --> 0:23:33.880 wife of whose husband you've been fucking. I look forward 0:23:33.920 --> 0:23:36.880 to discussing your affair that you started and conducted during work. 0:23:36.880 --> 0:23:39.000 Hours with internal affairs investigators. 0:23:40.200 --> 0:23:43.240 Caroline wanted the CSPD to know that this affair was 0:23:43.280 --> 0:23:47.720 going on during work hours on the taxpayer's dime. His 0:23:47.880 --> 0:23:50.199 former mistress responded. 0:23:51.440 --> 0:23:55.760 No, sorry, I ended what he started because he said 0:23:55.760 --> 0:23:58.560 he was leaving you and he was lying to everyone 0:23:58.560 --> 0:24:02.960 about himself. That was almost two years ago. Now I 0:24:03.000 --> 0:24:05.480 don't know what has happened or why he lost his job, 0:24:05.560 --> 0:24:08.840 but I'm not involved, nor have I talked to him 0:24:08.880 --> 0:24:09.879 since twenty twenty. 0:24:09.960 --> 0:24:10.320 Ish. 0:24:11.160 --> 0:24:14.639 You should look at getting HIV and HPV tested after 0:24:14.680 --> 0:24:18.760 his being involved in all that. I'm really sorry for 0:24:18.800 --> 0:24:21.760 whatever has happened, but he is a total lying piece 0:24:21.800 --> 0:24:25.520 of shit and you deserve better run. 0:24:29.040 --> 0:24:31.560 The woman may have been really sorry, but when my 0:24:31.640 --> 0:24:35.040 producer eventually contacted her, she didn't seem to have much 0:24:35.080 --> 0:24:39.640 sympathy for Caroline. What she did say, though, was illuminating. 0:24:40.240 --> 0:24:43.600 We recorded our conversation with the woman, and we've distorted 0:24:43.600 --> 0:24:48.280 her voice to protect her privacy. Oh yeah, she won't 0:24:48.359 --> 0:24:49.000 let this go. 0:24:49.119 --> 0:24:49.840 We'll see. 0:24:50.520 --> 0:24:53.800