1 00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:03,680 Speaker 1: Hey guys. Before we get into the episode, a quick note. 2 00:00:03,760 --> 00:00:06,360 Speaker 1: We're looking for news stories of betrayal for our weekly 3 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:10,840 Speaker 1: Betrayal series, which returns in August. If you've experienced betrayal 4 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:13,680 Speaker 1: and feel ready to share your story, now is a 5 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,959 Speaker 1: great time to reach out. Email us at Betrayal Pod 6 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:25,720 Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. That's Betrayal Pod at gmail dot com. 7 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:28,840 Speaker 2: I woke up just kind of feeling this heaviness on 8 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:31,760 Speaker 2: my chest, like it was difficult to take a deep 9 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:34,720 Speaker 2: breath in, and my eyes were burning, and you can 10 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:39,120 Speaker 2: smell the exhaust and you heard this rumbling sound. Where 11 00:00:39,159 --> 00:00:43,479 Speaker 2: is that coming from? Is that his truck? Is that 12 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:44,519 Speaker 2: his truck rumbling? 13 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:00,640 Speaker 1: I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is Betrayal C Season four, 14 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:10,600 Speaker 1: Episode three, Revisionist History. April eleventh, twenty twenty two was 15 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 1: Caroline's d day, the day that split her life in two. 16 00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:18,600 Speaker 1: It was the day her husband, Joel Kern, told her 17 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:21,240 Speaker 1: that he had received oral sex in his police vehicle 18 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:25,120 Speaker 1: while on duty. It was also the day he was 19 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:29,160 Speaker 1: placed on leave pending termination, threatening the job their family 20 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:34,120 Speaker 1: had sacrificed so much for. For Caroline, this wasn't just 21 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:38,080 Speaker 1: about infidelity. It was about twenty years of lies, a 22 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:42,920 Speaker 1: picture perfect family that never truly was. To fully understand 23 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:45,800 Speaker 1: the impact of Joel's betrayal, we need to go back 24 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:48,680 Speaker 1: in time to a few key moments in Caroline and 25 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:53,880 Speaker 1: Joel's marriage. There were two realities happening, and we're going 26 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:57,480 Speaker 1: to show you the split screen, on one side what 27 00:01:57,560 --> 00:02:01,680 Speaker 1: Caroline experienced in the moment, and on the other, what 28 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:05,520 Speaker 1: Joel was really doing behind the scenes. Let's start with 29 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:09,440 Speaker 1: the life Caroline thought she had with Joel before April eleventh, 30 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:10,480 Speaker 1: twenty twenty two. 31 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:17,720 Speaker 2: We had, in my opinion, what would be a fairy 32 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:21,680 Speaker 2: tale family for a law enforcement family. We made the 33 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:25,359 Speaker 2: best of everything. We were traveling together and we had 34 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:30,520 Speaker 2: these kids who were just rock stars. We were talking 35 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 2: about what it was going to look like to retire 36 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:36,640 Speaker 2: and not have a care in the world for day 37 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 2: to day life. We had this dream together. We were 38 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:45,840 Speaker 2: not perfect, but we damn sure lived a beautiful and 39 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,360 Speaker 2: blessed life before that day. 40 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:53,000 Speaker 1: But after April eleventh, I was lost. 41 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:57,120 Speaker 2: To say I was numb is an understatement, like I 42 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,359 Speaker 2: have been with this person for more than half my life. 43 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:02,200 Speaker 2: He is all I have known. It just was this 44 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:05,600 Speaker 2: feeling of what the hell am I going to do? 45 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:11,160 Speaker 1: In the days after D Day, Joel made a series 46 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:15,639 Speaker 1: of confessions. Every time he spoke with Caroline, he revealed 47 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:19,440 Speaker 1: new details about what he had done, and Caroline began 48 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:21,919 Speaker 1: to replay the tape of her own life with Joel. 49 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:26,720 Speaker 1: That process brought up old memories, Moments that had been 50 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:29,760 Speaker 1: buried deep in her mind now took on new meaning. 51 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 1: Let's start back in two thousand and one. Caroline was 52 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:38,440 Speaker 1: twenty five years old when she and Joel got married, 53 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:42,640 Speaker 1: and in episode one, we shared that Joel's childhood friend 54 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:47,440 Speaker 1: read this passage at their wedding. Love is patient and kind. 55 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,200 Speaker 1: Love does not envy or boast. 56 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,520 Speaker 2: He invited a childhood friend to do a reading and 57 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,720 Speaker 2: she was excited to be part of the ceremony. 58 00:03:56,960 --> 00:04:00,960 Speaker 1: Only six months after the wedding, something happened. It was 59 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,880 Speaker 1: two thousand and one and email communication was still new 60 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:07,040 Speaker 1: for some people. Caroline's aunt was using email for the 61 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:10,760 Speaker 1: first time, so Caroline decided to send her a message. 62 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:14,480 Speaker 2: As I logged on, I couldn't get into my email account. 63 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,800 Speaker 2: I noticed, though, that Joel's was already up, and so 64 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:19,320 Speaker 2: I thought, oh, she'll get a kick out of this. 65 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:22,200 Speaker 2: Even more because she'll think it's coming from Joel as 66 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:23,120 Speaker 2: well as myself. 67 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:27,520 Speaker 1: Caroline sent the email, but then she saw the preview 68 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:31,800 Speaker 1: lines to other emails Joel had recently received. 69 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:34,919 Speaker 2: And I noticed the friends who did their reading on 70 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:39,600 Speaker 2: our wedding. There were several email correspondences with. 71 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 1: Her, and the preview lines made Caroline look twice. 72 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:48,120 Speaker 2: And so I clicked and started reading through them, and 73 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:53,360 Speaker 2: there was email after email exchange between the pair discussing 74 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:56,200 Speaker 2: what it would have been like had they married each other, 75 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:59,760 Speaker 2: or if they ever had a opportunity for romantic a 76 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:02,679 Speaker 2: and they got pretty graphic. 77 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:09,240 Speaker 1: Just months after their wedding, Joel was having an online 78 00:05:09,279 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 1: sexual conversation with a woman who was part of their ceremony, 79 00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:16,080 Speaker 1: a woman who had read the words. 80 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:20,760 Speaker 3: Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 81 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:25,359 Speaker 1: Caroline was stunned. She left a note next to the 82 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:29,720 Speaker 1: computer letting Joel know that she had seen the emails. 83 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:37,240 Speaker 1: Then she fled to her parents' house. Eventually she returned 84 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:38,600 Speaker 1: home to confront him. 85 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:43,720 Speaker 2: I pull into the garage, opened the door, walked through 86 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:48,640 Speaker 2: the house and he's on his knees waiting for me, 87 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:54,719 Speaker 2: and he's crying and crying and over and over, just 88 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:58,040 Speaker 2: assured me that it was just merely for attention and 89 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:00,839 Speaker 2: that you know, look, I'll do anything. And then he said, 90 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:03,120 Speaker 2: you know, I'll go to counseling to assure you that 91 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:06,560 Speaker 2: I'll never let this happen again. And so I said, yeah, 92 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:10,400 Speaker 2: because at this point there's no trust. 93 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:13,280 Speaker 1: Joel said he was committed to showing Caroline that he 94 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:18,000 Speaker 1: was serious, and they found a marriage counselor. During counseling, 95 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:22,280 Speaker 1: Joel attributed his behavior to job stress and residual grief 96 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:26,960 Speaker 1: from his father's death three years prior. Joel said and 97 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 1: did all the right things. He apologized with tears streaming 98 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:33,760 Speaker 1: down his face. He promised it would never happen again, 99 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:39,320 Speaker 1: and Caroline believed him. After all, it was only a 100 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:40,120 Speaker 1: few emails. 101 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:45,520 Speaker 2: I convinced myself there was no physical cheating, and so 102 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:49,000 Speaker 2: we were able to work through this. Early on, when 103 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:52,440 Speaker 2: he did this, I thought naively that this was going 104 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:53,360 Speaker 2: to make us stronger. 105 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:58,960 Speaker 1: After D Day, Caroline returned to this memory and she 106 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:03,279 Speaker 1: realized this was the first time she chose to see 107 00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:10,240 Speaker 1: the best in Joel. Once Caroline forgave Joel, their love 108 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:14,240 Speaker 1: appeared to grow stronger. Just like she'd hoped, and a 109 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:18,000 Speaker 1: couple of years later, Caroline became pregnant with her first child. 110 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:21,320 Speaker 1: In the final doctor's appointment before she was due to 111 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:25,160 Speaker 1: give birth, Joel didn't show up. He said he had 112 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:30,080 Speaker 1: an important work lunch. But at that appointment, Caroline's doctor 113 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:33,880 Speaker 1: recommended she'd be induced right away, so she called Joel, 114 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:36,800 Speaker 1: begging him to meet her at the hospital. When he 115 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:38,920 Speaker 1: got there, he seemed off. 116 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:44,520 Speaker 2: Joel had been complaining he was super tired and it's 117 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:50,720 Speaker 2: hard to like confess and admit this now, and very 118 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:56,040 Speaker 2: few people know this. But when it came time to push, 119 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,000 Speaker 2: the doctor came in and sat me up and said, 120 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:00,560 Speaker 2: you know, here's what we're gonna do. What started explaining things, 121 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:02,920 Speaker 2: and Joel raised his finger and said, can you guys 122 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,240 Speaker 2: just all hold on for a minute so that I 123 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:10,640 Speaker 2: can use the bathroom, And everyone just got real quiet, 124 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,640 Speaker 2: and the doctor said, why don't you go ahead and 125 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:18,640 Speaker 2: take care of yourself and we'll stay with your wife. 126 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:24,679 Speaker 2: And the nurse who was in the room, she asked 127 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:26,160 Speaker 2: if I was okay and safe at home? 128 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:33,480 Speaker 3: It was humiliating. 129 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:35,880 Speaker 2: After our son was born. He said that he was 130 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:40,520 Speaker 2: just incredibly tired, that he had gotten no sleep because 131 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,760 Speaker 2: of work and said that he was going to go 132 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:50,320 Speaker 2: home and get sleep. Meanwhile, I was alone at the 133 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:52,720 Speaker 2: hospital with our newborn son. 134 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:56,679 Speaker 1: This is one of the most difficult memories for Caroline 135 00:08:56,720 --> 00:09:01,040 Speaker 1: to revisit. The very first day of her son's life. 136 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:04,040 Speaker 1: Joel was mia. 137 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:06,880 Speaker 2: Starting bright and early in the morning. His colleagues and 138 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:12,160 Speaker 2: his coworkers were coming in to congratulate us, and Joel 139 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:17,000 Speaker 2: wasn't there. And so I called him and said, all 140 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:20,040 Speaker 2: of your coworkers are coming in and people are asking 141 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,400 Speaker 2: where you're at. Are you going to come to the 142 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:25,880 Speaker 2: hospital see the baby and I And so he said, 143 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:28,240 Speaker 2: I just really needed a night to catch up on sleep. 144 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:34,559 Speaker 1: Caroline assumed Joel really was exhausted, maybe he was overwhelmed 145 00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:39,120 Speaker 1: by the reality of becoming a father. But now she's 146 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,800 Speaker 1: forced to look back and ask herself. 147 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:45,880 Speaker 2: Did he leave that night after I had our son 148 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:50,640 Speaker 2: to go be with someone or do something? I don't know. 149 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,920 Speaker 2: I would hope not. I hope that he went home 150 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,320 Speaker 2: just to get some sleep. But it's something now that 151 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:56,000 Speaker 2: I've replayed. 152 00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:59,360 Speaker 1: Caroline knew what she was getting into when she married 153 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:03,080 Speaker 1: a cop. Her eyes were wide open. There would be 154 00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:06,280 Speaker 1: times when Joel would have to prioritize work and she 155 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:09,480 Speaker 1: would be the one to pull the weight. But when 156 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:12,800 Speaker 1: it came to big moments like the birth of their child, 157 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:17,200 Speaker 1: she thought surely the family would come first, and if 158 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:21,080 Speaker 1: anything ever happened to their children, she expected Joel to 159 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:25,760 Speaker 1: be by her side. We're going to fast forward to 160 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:29,560 Speaker 1: January of twenty nineteen, when their daughter, Nicole was admitted 161 00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:31,800 Speaker 1: to the hospital. She was thirteen. 162 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:37,200 Speaker 2: She had a very severe bacterial infection that grew concern 163 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:39,360 Speaker 2: for her being septic, and so she was admitted to 164 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:42,240 Speaker 2: a children's hospital for about a week. 165 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:46,080 Speaker 3: That was one of the first times I ever saw 166 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:50,520 Speaker 3: my mom cry. I just was not doing well. I 167 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:54,040 Speaker 3: was weak and lost twenty pounds in a week. 168 00:10:54,559 --> 00:10:57,720 Speaker 1: The timing couldn't have been worse for Joel. He'd just 169 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:01,520 Speaker 1: been nominated for the permanent public Information Officer position. 170 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:05,199 Speaker 2: Joel was insistent that he couldn't take any time off 171 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:08,599 Speaker 2: work to come stay with her because it would be 172 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:09,160 Speaker 2: a bad look. 173 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:13,480 Speaker 3: I wanted him around, but I just constantly had this 174 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:18,079 Speaker 3: notion in my head that my dad couldn't sacrifice work 175 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:22,720 Speaker 3: like he had to be there, and so I don't 176 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:25,600 Speaker 3: think it was even really a choice in my head 177 00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:27,000 Speaker 3: that he could be there. 178 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:31,280 Speaker 1: They were used to Joel putting work first. He couldn't 179 00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:34,000 Speaker 1: be there to support Caroline or care for his daughter. 180 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:37,679 Speaker 1: It was disappointing, but not surprising. 181 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:41,960 Speaker 2: I now know why he really wasn't there. I found 182 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:46,320 Speaker 2: very clear evidence later that he had made arrangements to 183 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:48,600 Speaker 2: meet someone for sex. 184 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,080 Speaker 1: When Caroline first told her mom she met the man 185 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:18,000 Speaker 1: she was going to marry, her mom said, Jesus Christ, 186 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:23,040 Speaker 1: you'd better not be a cop. But over the course 187 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:26,520 Speaker 1: of their marriage, he became incredibly close with Caroline's family, 188 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:30,600 Speaker 1: so close that when her mother passed away, he served 189 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:34,720 Speaker 1: as the executor of her estate. Among the assets passed 190 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:37,440 Speaker 1: down to Caroline was a rental property she didn't want 191 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:40,920 Speaker 1: to keep. However, Joel convinced her that it would be 192 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:45,559 Speaker 1: wise to hold onto it. It would provide passive income. 193 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:48,839 Speaker 1: He promised to manage it for her, and he did. 194 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:52,400 Speaker 1: He found the runners and handled all the communication with them, 195 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:56,960 Speaker 1: But unbeknownst to Caroline, he was using that property for 196 00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:03,400 Speaker 1: another reason. We're going to go to April twenty twenty. 197 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:07,040 Speaker 1: When Caroline looks back on this day, she sees it 198 00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:11,280 Speaker 1: as Joel's closest call, a near miss, A day that 199 00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:15,040 Speaker 1: could have been her d day, but it wasn't because 200 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:19,200 Speaker 1: on this day, Joel was able to stay in control. 201 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:21,880 Speaker 1: Here's their son's memory of what happened. 202 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:24,440 Speaker 4: I was still in high school. I had to be 203 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:27,920 Speaker 4: sophomore junior year. I get home from school and I 204 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:31,120 Speaker 4: usually my mom will greet me or say something when 205 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:34,000 Speaker 4: I get home, but I didn't hear anything. And so 206 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,600 Speaker 4: I go up to the office and I see my 207 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:41,960 Speaker 4: mom just in tears, and she's beside herself, and she 208 00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:44,640 Speaker 4: showed me. She said, look at what this person just 209 00:13:44,679 --> 00:13:45,840 Speaker 4: messaged me on Facebook. 210 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:49,439 Speaker 1: The message claimed that Joel was sleeping with the tenant 211 00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:51,160 Speaker 1: that was living in their rental property. 212 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:56,480 Speaker 4: And then my dad gets home and he's confronted with 213 00:13:56,520 --> 00:14:02,240 Speaker 4: it by my mom and he denies it. And I 214 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:07,880 Speaker 4: remember confronting him and I told him, I said, if 215 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:09,920 Speaker 4: this is true, like we're done. I'm never fucking talking 216 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:10,400 Speaker 4: to you again. 217 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:15,360 Speaker 1: Joel told Caroline somebody was messing with them. Who and 218 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:19,040 Speaker 1: why he didn't know. But here's the thing about Joel. 219 00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:25,880 Speaker 1: He didn't get anxious or crazy. He was calm. Caroline 220 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:28,560 Speaker 1: insisted on going to the rental property with Joel to 221 00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:31,840 Speaker 1: get to the bottom of it. Not knowing what to expect, 222 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:34,080 Speaker 1: Caroline taped the encounter. 223 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:42,000 Speaker 2: Hello, what's going on? Well, you tell me. 224 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:46,240 Speaker 1: The tenant blamed her ex boyfriend, saying he was looking 225 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:49,840 Speaker 1: for revenge after their breakup. She strongly denied there was 226 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:51,880 Speaker 1: any relationship between her and Joel. 227 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:52,720 Speaker 3: Why. 228 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:54,240 Speaker 1: I don't know if he's just trying to get to 229 00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:56,480 Speaker 1: me to hurt me. I had no idea, because the 230 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:57,720 Speaker 1: thing is I was trying to break up with him. 231 00:14:57,920 --> 00:14:59,640 Speaker 1: We have art time's arguments, and then he's trying to 232 00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:03,320 Speaker 1: be nice to Caroline was furious with the situation. How 233 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,800 Speaker 1: did her family get mixed up in the runner's drama 234 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:09,200 Speaker 1: and how did the runner's ex boyfriend even know who 235 00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:09,920 Speaker 1: Joel was? 236 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:13,560 Speaker 2: So you said something, You said something to make some 237 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:16,120 Speaker 2: psychopath think this about. 238 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:19,120 Speaker 1: My husband, and here's Joel defending himself in the moment. 239 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,400 Speaker 5: This psychopath is got me on the road to a divorce. 240 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:24,040 Speaker 5: My kids want me out of the house. 241 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:28,560 Speaker 1: Remember this was the before times. Caroline and the kids 242 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:31,600 Speaker 1: believed Joel had nothing to do with the tenant. 243 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:36,720 Speaker 4: He proved his innocence, Seemingly to us. 244 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,360 Speaker 1: Joel was able to keep his family together and put 245 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:42,680 Speaker 1: this mix up behind them. That didn't change how their 246 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:45,720 Speaker 1: son felt when he first heard about the accusation. 247 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:49,320 Speaker 4: I mean, I was an asshole to him after this, 248 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:53,200 Speaker 4: and I remember we were in the car together driving, 249 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:56,920 Speaker 4: and this was a very memorable moment for me, because 250 00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:01,480 Speaker 4: it kind of takes gall to admit when you're wrong 251 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:03,120 Speaker 4: or are seemingly wrong. 252 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:07,920 Speaker 1: Initially, their son didn't believe Joel. In fact, he came 253 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:11,960 Speaker 1: at Joel pretty hard, but after the renter cleared it up, 254 00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:17,440 Speaker 1: he felt guilty for attacking his father and he humbled himself. 255 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:19,880 Speaker 4: I was in the passenger seat and it was just 256 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,560 Speaker 4: us in the car, and I apologized to him for 257 00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:25,720 Speaker 4: how I treated him, and he accepted my apology and 258 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:29,400 Speaker 4: said thank you for saying that. But no, come to 259 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:30,800 Speaker 4: find out all of it was true. 260 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:34,920 Speaker 1: On the day Caroline and her kids confronted Joel in 261 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:39,240 Speaker 1: the RV, he admitted that he had in fact been 262 00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:42,160 Speaker 1: having sex with the renner where we. 263 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:43,240 Speaker 2: Got and you had sex. 264 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:46,440 Speaker 4: At the We're in the house. 265 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:52,520 Speaker 2: In the basement, so you go down to that dirty, 266 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:55,800 Speaker 2: filthy basement and then had sex, unprotected sex. 267 00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:59,280 Speaker 1: The entire scene at the rental property was pure theater 268 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:01,760 Speaker 1: Joel and the tenant played their parts. 269 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:04,879 Speaker 2: Well. We asked you, did you do this? 270 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:05,760 Speaker 1: Did you do this? 271 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:07,200 Speaker 5: You said no. 272 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,720 Speaker 1: Nicole couldn't believe it. 273 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:15,679 Speaker 2: Joel admitted that he contacted told her she got her 274 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:16,720 Speaker 2: not say anything to me. 275 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:20,680 Speaker 1: So when Caroline went to the rental property to investigate, 276 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:24,479 Speaker 1: Joel had already told the tenant to keep her mouth shut. 277 00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:29,480 Speaker 1: Joel had sex on numerous occasions with the renter, but 278 00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:32,520 Speaker 1: stood by while she took all the heat and he 279 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:37,840 Speaker 1: played the victim. It's a stark example of the split 280 00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:41,600 Speaker 1: screen reality. The family has Joel on tape, at first 281 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:45,920 Speaker 1: playing the victim and then years later confessing in a cold, 282 00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:51,440 Speaker 1: flat tone. Caroline has lived through this dichotomy many times. 283 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:55,720 Speaker 1: After D Day, Joel admitted to lies that were so disturbing. 284 00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:59,520 Speaker 1: They weren't just a betrayal of his marriage vows. They 285 00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:04,560 Speaker 1: were a trail of his oath as an officer. In 286 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:08,399 Speaker 1: episode one, we mentioned the George Floyd protests of twenty twenty. 287 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:12,200 Speaker 1: Joel told Caroline he was on the front lines as 288 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:13,520 Speaker 1: tensions escalated. 289 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:17,359 Speaker 2: People were throwing frozen water bottles or rocks, and he 290 00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:19,760 Speaker 2: would say, oh, look look at this bruise that popped up. 291 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:22,879 Speaker 2: This was from a frozen water bottle. Years later, he 292 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,560 Speaker 2: confessed to me that all of the bruises that I 293 00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:30,960 Speaker 2: was massaging or rubbing icy hot on were not a 294 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:34,639 Speaker 2: result of the riots at all. He admitted to me 295 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:38,160 Speaker 2: that he had been having an affair during those hours 296 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:43,720 Speaker 2: with a coworker, and he was having sex with her 297 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:48,119 Speaker 2: at their offices, at the police department, in various areas 298 00:18:48,119 --> 00:18:51,320 Speaker 2: of town, or in his police car, and the marks 299 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,679 Speaker 2: and bruising were a result of his escapades. 300 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:58,520 Speaker 1: He accepted her sympathy and care, all the while knowing 301 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:02,399 Speaker 1: that he actually got the bruises from having rough sex 302 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:07,200 Speaker 1: with a coworker. We're going to come back to this coworker, 303 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:10,320 Speaker 1: but before we do, there's one more example of Joel 304 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,600 Speaker 1: using work as a cover of how low Joel was 305 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:15,479 Speaker 1: willing to go to avoid the truth. 306 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:21,520 Speaker 2: January of twenty twenty two, he had a moment where 307 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:23,720 Speaker 2: he was called out to an accident in the middle 308 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:25,240 Speaker 2: of the night, and he said it was a fatal 309 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:27,680 Speaker 2: accident and that he would be out for a little bit. 310 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:29,000 Speaker 2: This was uncommon. 311 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:33,960 Speaker 1: Part of Joel's job duties entailed supervising the major accident unit. 312 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:36,920 Speaker 1: This required him to go out to the scene of 313 00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:41,600 Speaker 1: fatal accidents and oversee the investigation. He was called at 314 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,280 Speaker 1: all hours day or night. 315 00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:46,320 Speaker 2: I was awake because he needed to get up to 316 00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:48,560 Speaker 2: get ready to go out. He said goodbye to me, 317 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,560 Speaker 2: give me a kiss goodbye, and I said, you know, 318 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:52,439 Speaker 2: be safe. I'll see you when you get home. 319 00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:56,280 Speaker 1: Like many families, they shared an app called Life three sixty, 320 00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:59,200 Speaker 1: which helped them keep track of each other's locations. 321 00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:01,879 Speaker 2: Why I couldn't go back to bed, I couldn't fall asleep, 322 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:05,600 Speaker 2: and so I'm sitting there kind of scrolling through social media, 323 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:08,760 Speaker 2: and then I see from one of the news sites 324 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,800 Speaker 2: that the accident that he was called out to had 325 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,600 Speaker 2: actually been cleaned up an hour hour and a half 326 00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:19,719 Speaker 2: before that. It was already moved and done. So I 327 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,800 Speaker 2: looked at our Life three sixty and I saw him 328 00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:25,120 Speaker 2: in just kind of this random location, not too far 329 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:28,359 Speaker 2: from our home. I texted him and I said, hey, 330 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:31,240 Speaker 2: where are you at. He didn't text back, and so 331 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,960 Speaker 2: I thought that's strange, because even if he was at 332 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,800 Speaker 2: some type of accident or call for service, almost always 333 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:39,919 Speaker 2: within minutes he would text back or you know, do 334 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,240 Speaker 2: an auto reply from his watch or something and say, 335 00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:47,359 Speaker 2: can't talk right now, But I didn't get anything. So 336 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:50,400 Speaker 2: then I got a little concerned and I called him. 337 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:54,359 Speaker 2: He put me to voicemail immediately, and so I waited 338 00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:56,520 Speaker 2: for a little bit, and then I texted him again 339 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:58,560 Speaker 2: and I said, Hey, I'm a little worried about you. 340 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,160 Speaker 2: And then he texted me back and said, I'm at 341 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:04,280 Speaker 2: a second accident scene. I'm headed to the hospital right 342 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:07,120 Speaker 2: now to help. I'll be home in a little bit. 343 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:11,399 Speaker 2: And so as he's saying this, I'm literally watching the 344 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:15,919 Speaker 2: phone where I can see him speeding to our house. 345 00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:20,200 Speaker 2: He's not at another accident, he's not at the hospital, 346 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:24,119 Speaker 2: He's coming from somewhere. And so when he got home, 347 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:27,440 Speaker 2: I said, are you lying to me? And he said, 348 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:28,399 Speaker 2: what are you talking about? 349 00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:32,040 Speaker 1: His location on the app didn't match what he told her. 350 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:35,560 Speaker 1: He was saying one thing and she was seeing another. 351 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:38,320 Speaker 1: Joel blamed the technology. 352 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:42,719 Speaker 2: That must be a cell phone tower pinging wrong. I 353 00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:45,840 Speaker 2: was at the hospital. Oh my god, do you think 354 00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:47,080 Speaker 2: I want to be out in the middle of the 355 00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,639 Speaker 2: night any longer than I have to be? And so 356 00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:51,840 Speaker 2: he just kept saying this to me to the point 357 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:58,560 Speaker 2: where I started feeling terrible. I felt guilty for questioning him. 358 00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:01,920 Speaker 1: It's hard to look back on those moments, because when 359 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:05,240 Speaker 1: you love someone and believe in their love for you, 360 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,920 Speaker 1: you accept answers you believe. 361 00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:15,840 Speaker 2: After we learned about his true colors and what he 362 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:18,480 Speaker 2: was really doing, I asked him about that night and 363 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:21,359 Speaker 2: he said, yeah, I had met someone on the internet 364 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,679 Speaker 2: and we arranged to meet at an exit close to 365 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:27,560 Speaker 2: the Air Force Academy and that's where I was at, 366 00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:28,320 Speaker 2: and you caught me. 367 00:22:29,359 --> 00:22:34,760 Speaker 1: The data didn't lie, Joel did. This punctured Caroline's perception 368 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:37,560 Speaker 1: of her husband. She used to see him as a 369 00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:41,000 Speaker 1: hero to their community. Now she sees him as nothing 370 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:45,560 Speaker 1: but a liar. As for that coworker, Joel confessed to 371 00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:49,200 Speaker 1: having sex with the one he actually got the bruises from. 372 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:54,320 Speaker 1: Caroline found her number and texted her, and to her surprise, 373 00:22:55,840 --> 00:23:21,480 Speaker 1: she responded. Caroline was able to make contact with the 374 00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:24,760 Speaker 1: woman that Joel had an affair with at CSPD via text, 375 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:28,920 Speaker 1: and she shared those texts with us. 376 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:31,199 Speaker 2: And so I wrote, Hi, this is Caroline Kern, the 377 00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,880 Speaker 2: wife of whose husband you've been fucking. I look forward 378 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:36,880 Speaker 2: to discussing your affair that you started and conducted during work. 379 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:39,000 Speaker 2: Hours with internal affairs investigators. 380 00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:43,240 Speaker 1: Caroline wanted the CSPD to know that this affair was 381 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:47,720 Speaker 1: going on during work hours on the taxpayer's dime. His 382 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:50,199 Speaker 1: former mistress responded. 383 00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:55,760 Speaker 6: No, sorry, I ended what he started because he said 384 00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:58,560 Speaker 6: he was leaving you and he was lying to everyone 385 00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:02,960 Speaker 6: about himself. That was almost two years ago. Now I 386 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,480 Speaker 6: don't know what has happened or why he lost his job, 387 00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:08,840 Speaker 6: but I'm not involved, nor have I talked to him 388 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:09,879 Speaker 6: since twenty twenty. 389 00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:10,320 Speaker 7: Ish. 390 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:14,639 Speaker 6: You should look at getting HIV and HPV tested after 391 00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:18,760 Speaker 6: his being involved in all that. I'm really sorry for 392 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:21,760 Speaker 6: whatever has happened, but he is a total lying piece 393 00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:25,520 Speaker 6: of shit and you deserve better run. 394 00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:31,560 Speaker 1: The woman may have been really sorry, but when my 395 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:35,040 Speaker 1: producer eventually contacted her, she didn't seem to have much 396 00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:39,640 Speaker 1: sympathy for Caroline. What she did say, though, was illuminating. 397 00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:43,600 Speaker 1: We recorded our conversation with the woman, and we've distorted 398 00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:48,280 Speaker 1: her voice to protect her privacy. Oh yeah, she won't 399 00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:49,000 Speaker 1: let this go. 400 00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:49,840 Speaker 7: We'll see. 401 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:53,800 Speaker 1: She told us what she thought she knew about Caroline. 402 00:24:54,840 --> 00:25:01,720 Speaker 7: Everybody seems to know Caroline and know what like. Everybody 403 00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:05,360 Speaker 7: says that she's kind of a problem. And I'm not 404 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,520 Speaker 7: sure what that means. I'm wondering how much of a 405 00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:13,080 Speaker 7: background you've done on her, because from what I understand, 406 00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:15,960 Speaker 7: it wasn't and this is not coming from him. From 407 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,320 Speaker 7: what I understand is that you know, she was very 408 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:30,760 Speaker 7: controlling and not nice and something with some other family members. 409 00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:33,600 Speaker 7: Shouldn't let him talk to his mom or something like that. 410 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,880 Speaker 1: This description went against everything we've heard about Caroline from 411 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,960 Speaker 1: her friends and family, and it helped us put together 412 00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:45,320 Speaker 1: another piece of the puzzle how Joel kept his double 413 00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:49,920 Speaker 1: life secret. You see, Colorado Springs isn't that big. One 414 00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:53,000 Speaker 1: way to keep anyone from telling Caroline the truth was 415 00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:56,080 Speaker 1: to paint her as the problem, and it seems like 416 00:25:56,200 --> 00:26:02,959 Speaker 1: Joel did exactly that. Did you ever meet his wife? No, 417 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:08,400 Speaker 1: this coworker turned mistress wasn't the only one who heard 418 00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:12,240 Speaker 1: similar things about Caroline at the department. It seemed that 419 00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:17,280 Speaker 1: everyone at CSPD knew Joel's wife was kind of a problem. 420 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:20,600 Speaker 1: Here's a former CSPD officer we're calling Dan. 421 00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:24,200 Speaker 8: Other officers I think that were much closer to him 422 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:28,600 Speaker 8: socially would always make some comments about like how maybe 423 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:30,879 Speaker 8: he had to get permission to just do anything with 424 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:34,000 Speaker 8: anyone else from her before he could do that. And 425 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:37,840 Speaker 8: you know, she kind of wore the pants in the house. 426 00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:43,000 Speaker 8: That seemed to me to be somewhat common knowledge in 427 00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:43,680 Speaker 8: the department. 428 00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:47,560 Speaker 1: Joel's coworker was under the impression that he was leaving 429 00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:51,520 Speaker 1: Caroline because that's what he told her. He lied to Caroline, 430 00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:55,479 Speaker 1: and he lied to his mistress, and eventually she figured 431 00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:59,399 Speaker 1: it out. Previously, I told you about Joel having a 432 00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:02,880 Speaker 1: mental health episode. He and Caroline were attending their son's 433 00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:05,840 Speaker 1: high school sporting event. It should have been a fun 434 00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:08,359 Speaker 1: time out, but Joel was distracted. 435 00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:14,000 Speaker 2: He became extremely withdrawn and very agitated. And so this 436 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:18,200 Speaker 2: is about twenty nineteen, now fast forward, after our life 437 00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:21,280 Speaker 2: blew up. He actually admitted to me why he was 438 00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:24,960 Speaker 2: desponded and behaving the way he was. It was because 439 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:29,679 Speaker 2: he had broken up with him. It wasn't anything to 440 00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:32,240 Speaker 2: do with our son and driving and the concern or 441 00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:33,040 Speaker 2: anything like that. 442 00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:37,919 Speaker 1: The woman who texted Caroline saying I ended what he 443 00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:43,639 Speaker 1: started had ended their relationship. Within a year of the affair, 444 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:47,680 Speaker 1: he planned an elaborate bow renewal. He stood before family 445 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:50,880 Speaker 1: and friends and professed his love for his wife. 446 00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:55,240 Speaker 2: First time around, we did church bows. This time around, 447 00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:59,120 Speaker 2: we're going to speak from the heart. And so we're 448 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:02,480 Speaker 2: before our friends and family out in this beautiful setting 449 00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:05,720 Speaker 2: on the beach, and when he gets ready to start 450 00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:11,360 Speaker 2: his vows, he gets down on one knee and he says, 451 00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:15,199 Speaker 2: you know, over twenty years ago I impulsively asked you 452 00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:17,119 Speaker 2: to marry me, and this time I want to do 453 00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:21,280 Speaker 2: it right. Would you marry me all over again? And 454 00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:26,920 Speaker 2: has this new, big, beautiful ring. And it was just 455 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:31,280 Speaker 2: such a shock and the surprise. I mean, I felt 456 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:32,760 Speaker 2: like life was perfect. 457 00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:37,080 Speaker 1: On the day of his revelations. What was once a cherished, 458 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:41,040 Speaker 1: loving memory was destroyed. Here's their son. 459 00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:46,000 Speaker 4: That was their firsthand and I witnessed the whole val 460 00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:49,720 Speaker 4: renewal ceremony. But I don't think you can look at 461 00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:55,320 Speaker 4: his actions now and say there could be any truth 462 00:28:55,360 --> 00:29:00,600 Speaker 4: in it. Maybe he thought there was truth, but and 463 00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:07,080 Speaker 4: his actions absolutely not. It's just you feel betrayal and 464 00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:11,640 Speaker 4: just kind of a phoniness to it. And so to me, 465 00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:15,120 Speaker 4: there's no point in even thinking back on it, because 466 00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:22,320 Speaker 4: it was rooted in a lie. 467 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:25,680 Speaker 1: After April eleventh, as Caroline was going through Joel's emails, 468 00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:29,280 Speaker 1: she found confirmation he had been sexting with someone just 469 00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:32,880 Speaker 1: eight days after the vow renewal. It was with a 470 00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:37,080 Speaker 1: person he'd met online. The person was asking for nudes. Instead, 471 00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:40,400 Speaker 1: Joel sent them a selfie. In it, he's staring at 472 00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:44,640 Speaker 1: the camera, lying back on the family couch. Caroline was 473 00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:47,040 Speaker 1: so disturbed at the thought of their home being in 474 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:50,440 Speaker 1: Joel's pictures that she sold all the furniture in their 475 00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:54,720 Speaker 1: living room. In the months before Joel was placed on leave, 476 00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:58,040 Speaker 1: he could see the writing on the wall. He knew 477 00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:01,560 Speaker 1: for months that he was being investigated work, but he 478 00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:05,600 Speaker 1: kept that to himself. While Caroline was reflecting on her 479 00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:09,120 Speaker 1: dual realities, she told us about an experience that happened 480 00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:13,280 Speaker 1: just months before d Day. We weren't sure what to 481 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:16,360 Speaker 1: make of it, but it affected her so deeply. We 482 00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:17,720 Speaker 1: wanted you to hear what happened. 483 00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:24,160 Speaker 2: In November of twenty twenty one, our daughter had left 484 00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:28,560 Speaker 2: for school for something very early in the morning. Joel 485 00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:30,200 Speaker 2: had told me that he too was going to go 486 00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:33,680 Speaker 2: into work early that day and that he'd semulater that night. 487 00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:38,080 Speaker 2: I'm still in bed. He comes and kisses me goodbye 488 00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:40,800 Speaker 2: and tells me to have a great day. And I 489 00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:48,640 Speaker 2: was asleep still, and when I woke up, I woke 490 00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:51,040 Speaker 2: up just kind of feeling this heaviness on my chest. 491 00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:55,440 Speaker 1: It was hard to breathe. She was disoriented, Their daughter 492 00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:59,400 Speaker 1: was already at school. Caroline was alone in the house. 493 00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:01,920 Speaker 2: Like it was difficult to take a deep breath in, 494 00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:06,680 Speaker 2: and my eyes were burning, and I heard this rumbling sound. 495 00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:11,680 Speaker 2: Where is that coming from? Is that his truck? Is 496 00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:12,880 Speaker 2: that his truck rumbling? 497 00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:16,000 Speaker 1: Caroline's bedroom is on the first floor, just down the 498 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:17,720 Speaker 1: hallway from the garage. 499 00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:21,840 Speaker 2: And so I got up and the auxiliary door to 500 00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:23,840 Speaker 2: our garage. 501 00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:28,880 Speaker 5: Was just a little open, and when I opened it, 502 00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:32,200 Speaker 5: it was like a rush of fire almost hit my face, 503 00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:35,840 Speaker 5: just kind of this warmth just hit me. The truck 504 00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:38,080 Speaker 5: had been left running in our garage. 505 00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:40,920 Speaker 2: I was panicked and didn't know what to do, and 506 00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:45,240 Speaker 2: so I hit the garage open, and I went out 507 00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:48,320 Speaker 2: to the driveway and I'm kind of walking around trying 508 00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:50,440 Speaker 2: to get my sense about me, and I'm trying to 509 00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:53,360 Speaker 2: take a big deep breath in, and uh, you know, 510 00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:55,720 Speaker 2: I'm finally able to gather my bearings and I go 511 00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:59,360 Speaker 2: over to open his truck to shut the engine off, 512 00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:00,760 Speaker 2: and I can't open it's locked. 513 00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:03,640 Speaker 1: So she ran back into the house to get the 514 00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:04,200 Speaker 1: spare key. 515 00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:07,719 Speaker 2: We have a key ring holder where we put all 516 00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:11,640 Speaker 2: our keys. His police car was gone, and our daughters 517 00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:16,680 Speaker 2: were gone, but his truck keys were hanging there, and 518 00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:19,320 Speaker 2: so I got the truck keys down I was able 519 00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:21,080 Speaker 2: to open the truck. I opened the truck and I 520 00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:23,800 Speaker 2: turn off the engine, and I'm sitting there for a second, 521 00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:25,960 Speaker 2: and I'm like, what the heck just happened. 522 00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:30,280 Speaker 1: She had no idea how long the exhaust from Joel's 523 00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:35,240 Speaker 1: truck had been seeping into the house. Caroline called Joel, 524 00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:37,120 Speaker 1: flustered and upset. 525 00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:40,719 Speaker 2: I said, you left the truck running with the garage 526 00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:44,040 Speaker 2: door close and the door between the garage and the 527 00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:46,840 Speaker 2: house just a little open. And he said I did. 528 00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:49,840 Speaker 2: And I said, yeah, you did. And he was like, well, 529 00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:52,320 Speaker 2: there's no way I did that. And I said, how 530 00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:56,640 Speaker 2: would that happen? Then then he started saying that his 531 00:32:56,720 --> 00:32:58,560 Speaker 2: truck keys must have been in his pocket and he 532 00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:01,640 Speaker 2: must have accidentally hit the off start when he was 533 00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:04,680 Speaker 2: pulling away in his cop car in the morning. I said, 534 00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:06,280 Speaker 2: there's no way you could have done that. Both sets 535 00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:09,560 Speaker 2: of truck keys are hanging on the keyring, and so 536 00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:12,440 Speaker 2: we went back and forth, and he had me convinced 537 00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:15,840 Speaker 2: that it had to be a manufacturer defect or something 538 00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:16,840 Speaker 2: something happened. 539 00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:20,120 Speaker 1: If it was a defect, it was one that could 540 00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:24,600 Speaker 1: have lethal consequences. They never figured out how the car started. 541 00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:28,000 Speaker 1: Caroline now wonders if she had really been safe in 542 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:34,920 Speaker 1: her home. That brings us to Sunday, April tenth, twenty 543 00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:37,640 Speaker 1: twenty two. It was the day before their lives would 544 00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:41,040 Speaker 1: change forever. Little did Caroline know the two worlds she 545 00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:47,600 Speaker 1: didn't realize she was living were about to converge. During 546 00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:50,720 Speaker 1: this time. One constant for Caroline and the kids had 547 00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:53,760 Speaker 1: been their faith. Here's Nicole, I. 548 00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:59,040 Speaker 3: Have my own little path I suppose with my religion, 549 00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:05,320 Speaker 3: and so I was going to Mass pretty frequently before that. 550 00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:08,680 Speaker 2: This is something that the kids might did together. He 551 00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:11,960 Speaker 2: never went. He had always been a proclaimed atheist. And 552 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,320 Speaker 2: as our daughter and I are getting ready, he emerges 553 00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:15,320 Speaker 2: and says he's going. 554 00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:19,839 Speaker 1: With us again. This was Sunday, April tenth, when Joel 555 00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:23,400 Speaker 1: suddenly showed interest in going to church that day. Nicole 556 00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:25,240 Speaker 1: was excited and. 557 00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:28,200 Speaker 2: Our daughter said, Daddy, are you serious, You're really going 558 00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:30,560 Speaker 2: to go? To church with us, and he said, yes, 559 00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:32,279 Speaker 2: I want to go with you guys. I want to 560 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:35,160 Speaker 2: be with you guys. And I think that maybe it's 561 00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:36,960 Speaker 2: time I give church a chance. 562 00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:41,240 Speaker 3: I thought like, maybe this is the beginning of something 563 00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:45,440 Speaker 3: new or something. I was really happy that he wanted 564 00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:46,879 Speaker 3: to have family time. 565 00:34:47,640 --> 00:34:50,640 Speaker 1: The family thought Joel may have been reconsidering his relationship 566 00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:55,560 Speaker 1: with religion, but in reality, his secrets were teetering on 567 00:34:55,640 --> 00:35:01,719 Speaker 1: the edge of exposure. Cole reflects on that day. Now 568 00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:04,640 Speaker 1: she sees Joel's desire to go to church in a 569 00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:06,080 Speaker 1: completely different light. 570 00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:13,800 Speaker 3: Looking back on it. Maybe it was his last resorts, 571 00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:15,560 Speaker 3: a call upon the Big Man. 572 00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:19,440 Speaker 1: I suppose call it a hail Mary. Or maybe Joel 573 00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:22,800 Speaker 1: wanted to remind the family about the virtue of forgiveness. 574 00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:26,840 Speaker 1: But at the time it felt like a lovely family. 575 00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:30,759 Speaker 2: Sunday, we went to breakfast together after church, and I 576 00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:33,000 Speaker 2: still have silly pictures we took at the coffee shop 577 00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:37,640 Speaker 2: we were at. We even went to Costco together. We 578 00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:40,520 Speaker 2: just had this really good day together and I just 579 00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:46,000 Speaker 2: remember thinking to myself how thankful I was that Joel 580 00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:48,480 Speaker 2: was wanting to be healthy, and that maybe some of 581 00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:50,920 Speaker 2: these changes that felt scary, were about ready to be 582 00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:53,359 Speaker 2: just really positive things for him. 583 00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:57,640 Speaker 1: It was the last good day they'd ever have as 584 00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:04,400 Speaker 1: a family. Joel's deception didn't just destroy his career, his marriage, 585 00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:08,280 Speaker 1: or his family. They destroyed Caroline's memory of her entire 586 00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:12,040 Speaker 1: adult life. Even the best memories, like the birth of 587 00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:17,400 Speaker 1: her first child, are tainted forever. No memory is sacred, 588 00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:19,600 Speaker 1: you know, At. 589 00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:23,360 Speaker 2: Random, we'll see a picture and it's like, oh, gosh, 590 00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:27,200 Speaker 2: there we were at Disney World together, and then my 591 00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:31,040 Speaker 2: brain goes too, God, that was such a great trip. 592 00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:34,280 Speaker 2: But what were you doing when we weren't looking. 593 00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:43,840 Speaker 1: On the next episode of Betrayal, we'll take you inside 594 00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:47,560 Speaker 1: CSPD Internal Affairs on the day Joel's double life finally 595 00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:48,319 Speaker 1: caught up with him. 596 00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:51,279 Speaker 7: The slip up proves that you're unable to keep track 597 00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:54,200 Speaker 7: of all your lives, and quite frankly, I question how 598 00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:56,240 Speaker 7: many other women are out there that may bring forward 599 00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:57,440 Speaker 7: allegations in the future. 600 00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:02,600 Speaker 1: The department finally realizes what they've got in Lieutenant Joel Kern, 601 00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:07,120 Speaker 1: But how do you catch a master manipulator and a 602 00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:12,920 Speaker 1: lie Thank you for listening to Betrayal Season four. If 603 00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:14,800 Speaker 1: you would like to reach out to the Betrayal team. 604 00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:18,080 Speaker 1: Email us at Betrayal Pod at gmail dot com. That's 605 00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:23,239 Speaker 1: Betrayal Pod at gmail dot com. Also, please be sure 606 00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:26,440 Speaker 1: to follow us on Instagram at Betrayal Pod and me 607 00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:30,160 Speaker 1: Andrea H. Gunning for all Betrayal content, news and updates. 608 00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:32,719 Speaker 1: One way to support the series is by subscribing to 609 00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:36,400 Speaker 1: our show on Apple Podcasts. Please rate and review Betrayal 610 00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:40,200 Speaker 1: five star reviews help us know you appreciate what we do. 611 00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:44,400 Speaker 1: Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of 612 00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:48,680 Speaker 1: Glass Entertainment Group, in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show 613 00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:52,719 Speaker 1: is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fason. Betrayal 614 00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:55,840 Speaker 1: is hosted and produced by me Andrea Gunning, written and 615 00:37:55,880 --> 00:38:00,160 Speaker 1: produced by Kerrie Hartman, also produced by Ben Fetterman. Our 616 00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:04,600 Speaker 1: associate producers are Kaitlyn Golden and Kristin Melcury. Our iHeart 617 00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:08,520 Speaker 1: team is Ali Perry and Jessica Crincheck. Story editing by 618 00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:13,080 Speaker 1: Monique Leboard, Audio editing and mixing by Matt Alvecchio, editing 619 00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:17,840 Speaker 1: by Tanner Robbins. Special thanks to voice actors Kitlin Golden 620 00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:21,400 Speaker 1: and Rocky All, and special thanks to Caroline and her family. 621 00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:26,120 Speaker 1: Betrayal's theme is composed by Oliver Baines. Music library provided 622 00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:29,439 Speaker 1: by my Music and For more podcasts from iHeart, visit 623 00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:33,480 Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.