WEBVTT - Episode 357 "Drew Sidora" 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:01.720 They get a little They called. 0:00:01.520 --> 0:00:09.360 Me broadcasting live from Atlanta, Georgia, walking to the Ball 0:00:09.400 --> 0:00:10.960 Alert show. I go by the name of Ferrari sim 0:00:11.080 --> 0:00:16.720 I go back there, you know, beat t J. How 0:00:16.760 --> 0:00:18.040 you doing, friends, I'm good? 0:00:18.079 --> 0:00:18.640 How you doing? 0:00:18.760 --> 0:00:25.040 Looking rather icy today? Yeah? 0:00:25.120 --> 0:00:26.320 Just bring a little sunshine? 0:00:26.480 --> 0:00:27.960 How you doing a little bright? 0:00:28.040 --> 0:00:30.240 I'm good, really really good. I'm happy to be here 0:00:30.240 --> 0:00:30.560 with y'all. 0:00:30.920 --> 0:00:33.040 Shot Town. This is your first time on the show, right. 0:00:32.960 --> 0:00:36.080 Shot townresenting? This my first time? What's up with that? 0:00:37.080 --> 0:00:39.560 Well, look now that you now that you came on here, 0:00:39.760 --> 0:00:41.640 you know what I'm saying, you can be a frequent guest, 0:00:41.680 --> 0:00:42.920 your friend at the show. 0:00:43.120 --> 0:00:44.360 I would love to have a lot of things to 0:00:44.400 --> 0:00:44.840 talk about. 0:00:45.080 --> 0:00:49.800 Okay, Well, first and foremost, first of all, you're dope. 0:00:50.200 --> 0:00:51.199 Oh my god, thank you. 0:00:52.159 --> 0:00:54.800 Let's can we start from the beginning. Yeah, okay, what 0:00:55.160 --> 0:00:57.720 made you want to get into acting? 0:00:58.920 --> 0:01:00.360 Hm? Hmm, maybe you want to? 0:01:00.400 --> 0:01:02.160 It was kind of like it was kind of like 0:01:02.160 --> 0:01:06.000 a Nate you know, like I used to take. 0:01:05.920 --> 0:01:07.399 When they had VHS. 0:01:07.600 --> 0:01:11.680 Yeah, I was like videotaping myself doing like monologues and 0:01:11.720 --> 0:01:14.399 doing different things on camera. So like I was videotaping 0:01:14.400 --> 0:01:16.920 over weddings, family reunions, getting in trouble. As a kid, 0:01:17.200 --> 0:01:19.840 it's like, okay, we need to like maybe pay attention 0:01:19.920 --> 0:01:22.800 to this. So I'm from Chicago. We are very heavy 0:01:22.840 --> 0:01:26.000 in theater. So I did the whole theater stuff, you know, plays, 0:01:26.160 --> 0:01:28.520 school plays, and it was just like something I was 0:01:28.600 --> 0:01:31.760 drawn to, you know. So it wasn't until I was 0:01:31.840 --> 0:01:35.760 eight years old auditioned for a movie that I booked, 0:01:35.880 --> 0:01:38.200 and then it was well, y'all don't go look this 0:01:38.280 --> 0:01:40.000 up now because it's kind of embarrassing. 0:01:40.560 --> 0:01:43.840 But it was for Fox. It was called Divas. Just 0:01:43.880 --> 0:01:44.319 leave that there. 0:01:44.360 --> 0:01:49.760 But Ni Corey, like I thought I would, I look back, 0:01:49.800 --> 0:01:51.600 I'm like, oh my god, what what is this? But 0:01:52.080 --> 0:01:54.840 it was like I'm here, I'm doing something I love 0:01:55.040 --> 0:01:56.280 and I'm getting a check from it. 0:01:56.320 --> 0:01:57.600 And I think that's when it clicked. 0:01:57.680 --> 0:02:00.200 How old were you? I was eight, Okay, said this 0:02:00.240 --> 0:02:00.600 is what. 0:02:00.520 --> 0:02:01.800 I this is what I want to do, this is 0:02:01.800 --> 0:02:03.320 what I'm meant to do. That's how it like clicked 0:02:03.320 --> 0:02:03.520 for me. 0:02:03.800 --> 0:02:06.080 Did your family push you to start getting into acting? 0:02:06.880 --> 0:02:09.680 So my sister Allison, she was a writer on Amen 0:02:09.880 --> 0:02:13.840 Rock Martin and she was the one living in la 0:02:14.000 --> 0:02:15.919 like you know, since she's doing all these things or 0:02:15.960 --> 0:02:18.560 having a desire, let's put her in some acting classes. 0:02:18.639 --> 0:02:20.920 Let's you know, take it seriously, and this is how 0:02:20.960 --> 0:02:22.920 you can make it, you know, constructive for her. So 0:02:23.040 --> 0:02:25.960 getting a resume, headshots agent, I wouldn't have known that, 0:02:26.040 --> 0:02:27.680 you know, my mom wouldn't have known that. So having 0:02:27.720 --> 0:02:30.320 her was definitely a guide, and it helped to say, 0:02:30.320 --> 0:02:32.000 step by step, this is how you know you have 0:02:32.040 --> 0:02:33.360 to do it if you really want to do it 0:02:33.400 --> 0:02:36.840 for real. So we did it, and yeah, by age eight, 0:02:36.880 --> 0:02:38.080 I was like working. 0:02:38.040 --> 0:02:42.600 Don't stop peaking, going Now, what's what's the the big 0:02:42.639 --> 0:02:45.320 thing that happens earlier on that make you say, oh, 0:02:46.000 --> 0:02:47.200 I'm here, I've arrived. 0:02:47.520 --> 0:02:50.519 Oh you know, I really don't. It's crazy. I don't 0:02:50.520 --> 0:02:52.760 feel like I've arrived yet. Really, I really don't. 0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:55.440 It's like for me, I have so many more things 0:02:55.520 --> 0:02:58.800 I want to accomplish, so I appreciate the journey. I 0:02:58.800 --> 0:03:01.360 think sometimes I have to reflect back, like, wow, you 0:03:01.360 --> 0:03:04.200 know I did graduate high school early on a roll 0:03:04.320 --> 0:03:08.480 straight a's okay, saw me and daddy, you know, make 0:03:08.560 --> 0:03:10.600 them proud so that I could go to LA to 0:03:10.720 --> 0:03:11.320 pursue it. 0:03:11.919 --> 0:03:12.720 And that's what I did. 0:03:12.840 --> 0:03:14.919 I was fresh out of high school in LA trying 0:03:14.960 --> 0:03:18.040 to figure it out, slapping my car, did the whole 0:03:18.400 --> 0:03:20.720 you know, figuring it out, doing background work. 0:03:20.880 --> 0:03:23.760 Fun fact, I was a background dancer and ushers. 0:03:23.760 --> 0:03:25.480 You don't have to call video, you don't have to 0:03:25.520 --> 0:03:28.800 call you miss me, so you would never know. 0:03:29.080 --> 0:03:30.839 But I was there. I was there. 0:03:30.880 --> 0:03:34.399 But those type of experiences taught me like what it's 0:03:34.400 --> 0:03:36.520 like to be on set, you know, watching the director, 0:03:36.520 --> 0:03:37.640 watching how things happened. 0:03:38.000 --> 0:03:39.080 That was like my school. 0:03:39.240 --> 0:03:41.960 So it was just a matter of time before I 0:03:42.040 --> 0:03:44.840 booked Never Die Along, which was my first movie with DMX. 0:03:45.040 --> 0:03:47.840 Right, okay, so stop do you felt Do you feel 0:03:47.880 --> 0:03:51.760 like that that was necessary for you to appreciate when 0:03:51.840 --> 0:03:56.640 you got the first big gig the DMX. Absolutely, because 0:03:56.720 --> 0:04:00.720 the sleeping in the car, the you know, we eating 0:04:00.760 --> 0:04:02.240 Raymon noodles and stuff like that too. 0:04:02.440 --> 0:04:04.760 I was actually one of my friends who's like really 0:04:04.920 --> 0:04:07.040 successful actor now. We used to go to McDonald's and 0:04:07.120 --> 0:04:09.120 like be like all put our money there, like we 0:04:09.120 --> 0:04:10.520 can get a meal and we can. 0:04:10.440 --> 0:04:13.520 Split it, eat it real slow and we gonna be 0:04:13.560 --> 0:04:15.520 all right. It was like that Taco bell, you know, 0:04:15.640 --> 0:04:16.360 all the specials. 0:04:16.360 --> 0:04:18.880 I took advantage of all those specials, Like you had 0:04:18.880 --> 0:04:21.479 to be creative to figure out how to survive because 0:04:21.760 --> 0:04:24.640 it's very expensive, you know, to live in LA and 0:04:24.640 --> 0:04:27.640 then you're entering into an industry that you can't really 0:04:27.720 --> 0:04:28.680 like prepare for. 0:04:28.800 --> 0:04:30.920 You gotta live it and see it and learn it. 0:04:31.080 --> 0:04:33.280 And being I was a teenager at the time away 0:04:33.320 --> 0:04:37.440 from my family, I'm seeing stuff that I'm like, WHOA, unbelievable. 0:04:37.480 --> 0:04:42.560 Where's your sister? My sister now is at this particular moment, at. 0:04:42.440 --> 0:04:45.240 This particular moment when I graduated, she was living in 0:04:45.320 --> 0:04:48.200 LA First, when I moved to LA she had met 0:04:48.200 --> 0:04:49.200 an NBA player. 0:04:48.960 --> 0:04:51.960 And got married, and so she was back in Chicago 0:04:52.040 --> 0:04:52.719 played for the Bulls. 0:04:53.240 --> 0:04:54.920 Yeah, so she was like that ain't no point in 0:04:55.000 --> 0:04:55.680 me working no more. 0:04:55.800 --> 0:04:58.360 She was like, I'm married now, but she's like, I'm 0:04:58.400 --> 0:05:00.200 still here. You know, she's still to this day in 0:05:00.240 --> 0:05:03.240 my life. She's on my team and just my big 0:05:03.279 --> 0:05:05.120 sister that you know we kind of see our dreams through. 0:05:05.120 --> 0:05:07.200 But yees, she at this point she had a baby, 0:05:07.360 --> 0:05:08.719 raising her family back. 0:05:08.560 --> 0:05:13.080 And yeah, right, what's some of the big challenges about 0:05:13.160 --> 0:05:15.640 you know, getting into the film and industry that a 0:05:15.680 --> 0:05:18.000 lot of people don't understand yo. 0:05:18.160 --> 0:05:23.560 It's like it's so many no's, it's more knows than 0:05:23.640 --> 0:05:26.359 yes is. It's like you wait for the yes because 0:05:26.360 --> 0:05:28.640 that yes is what changes your life. So you get 0:05:28.640 --> 0:05:31.240 into it thinking, Okay, I'm around these people, I'm in 0:05:31.279 --> 0:05:33.839 these rooms. But then it's like I didn't get that 0:05:34.000 --> 0:05:36.920 job and it was I think a year almost two 0:05:37.000 --> 0:05:38.880 years before actually booked my first job, and that can 0:05:38.880 --> 0:05:39.600 get discouraging. 0:05:39.720 --> 0:05:41.440 So it's like, am I meant to do this? 0:05:41.760 --> 0:05:44.200 But it's like no after no, after no after no, 0:05:44.600 --> 0:05:46.799 And then you get that yes and you're like, wow, okay, 0:05:47.000 --> 0:05:48.159 it's the opportunity now. 0:05:48.480 --> 0:05:49.800 So and then you still get nose. 0:05:49.880 --> 0:05:53.120 Even for me, I'm like I'm decades in now and 0:05:53.160 --> 0:05:54.880 I still get it. I'm like I thought it was gonna, 0:05:54.920 --> 0:05:57.000 you know, be up from here. But I think that's 0:05:57.040 --> 0:05:58.640 the beauty of the journey because you can never get 0:05:58.680 --> 0:06:02.200 too comfortable as an actor. You can't really say Okay, 0:06:02.600 --> 0:06:04.840 this is forever, or you can't guarantee your next job. 0:06:04.960 --> 0:06:07.000 You know, you really have to wait for it, and 0:06:07.080 --> 0:06:08.560 so you have to be smart. You have to save 0:06:08.600 --> 0:06:09.960 your money, you have to continue to work, you have 0:06:10.000 --> 0:06:11.960 to open up other avenues which is so amazing that 0:06:12.120 --> 0:06:14.800 we have different outlets, you know, and that's why I'm 0:06:14.839 --> 0:06:16.479 also music acting. 0:06:16.600 --> 0:06:19.200 You know. It's like it's no boundaries, you know. 0:06:19.560 --> 0:06:21.280 Thank you for saying that, because I was gonna that's 0:06:21.279 --> 0:06:25.440 gonna be my next question, making money, saving money, preparing 0:06:25.560 --> 0:06:28.919 for you know, moments where it's not going to be 0:06:28.960 --> 0:06:32.600 any gigs when you want them to come. Did you 0:06:32.640 --> 0:06:34.720 have to figure that out on your own or did 0:06:34.760 --> 0:06:36.600 someone try to warn you and then you'd be like, yeah, 0:06:36.640 --> 0:06:38.719 I'll be all right, I'm good, Or how did that 0:06:38.760 --> 0:06:39.159 work out? 0:06:39.360 --> 0:06:42.360 Like account is in the negative? How this happened? Oh 0:06:42.520 --> 0:06:43.800 oh my god? What am I going to do? 0:06:44.120 --> 0:06:44.320 You know? 0:06:44.520 --> 0:06:48.320 It was literally me having to learn, like make every 0:06:48.360 --> 0:06:52.159 mistake to grow from that. So I always tell people 0:06:52.160 --> 0:06:53.760 like if I can help you, you know, and I 0:06:53.839 --> 0:06:55.880 love giving back, you know, the young girls. I'm like, 0:06:55.960 --> 0:06:58.600 let me help you because I literally went through everything. 0:06:58.640 --> 0:07:00.159 I can tell you what not to do with. 0:07:00.200 --> 0:07:03.040 This point, but I can say that it's shaped me, 0:07:03.120 --> 0:07:05.320 it helped me, it grew me, and now I'm a 0:07:05.320 --> 0:07:08.400 lot smart, Like I'm so risk adverse, like I save, 0:07:08.560 --> 0:07:10.800 I saved. I'm I'm not spending money on that, you know, 0:07:10.880 --> 0:07:15.120 because it's just not guaranteed, but I do, you know, 0:07:15.240 --> 0:07:18.280 appreciate the opportunity now to get more into producing and 0:07:18.320 --> 0:07:20.560 directing and just really opening up outlets for other people. 0:07:20.640 --> 0:07:22.960 So that's kind of the beauty. And when you are 0:07:23.040 --> 0:07:24.880 up against the wall, I think COVID taught like the 0:07:24.880 --> 0:07:27.240 whole world that, you know what I mean, Like we 0:07:27.320 --> 0:07:30.720 got to create our own tell our stories. And that's 0:07:30.800 --> 0:07:32.080 just the season I'm in right now. 0:07:33.040 --> 0:07:35.840 Well, got a segment of the show. It's called do 0:07:36.080 --> 0:07:38.480 you Like Me? Okay, this is the part where you 0:07:38.520 --> 0:07:40.480 look at that camera and you shot at your crush. 0:07:40.480 --> 0:07:43.000 Do you have a crush? It's somebody crushing on you. 0:07:43.000 --> 0:07:44.520 You want to shot them out. This is the this 0:07:44.600 --> 0:07:46.160 is the moment that if you have it crush, you 0:07:46.160 --> 0:07:49.880 shot out that significant person, him, her or them, however 0:07:49.880 --> 0:07:51.000 they classify themselves. 0:07:51.120 --> 0:07:54.720 I think y'all all know my crush is us h 0:07:54.720 --> 0:07:55.200 g R. 0:07:57.560 --> 0:07:59.840 That's my god, that's my man in my head usher, 0:08:00.120 --> 0:08:01.120 I mean childhood crush. 0:08:01.280 --> 0:08:03.200 So wait, you know we've had us on the show. 0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:06.320 He watches the show, So if he sees you, if 0:08:06.320 --> 0:08:09.360 you watches this episode, what would you tell him right now? 0:08:09.800 --> 0:08:15.920 I would say I loved that cherry. Oh, oh my god, 0:08:16.000 --> 0:08:16.760 is it hot in here? 0:08:18.720 --> 0:08:20.440 What else? Right? 0:08:20.480 --> 0:08:20.600 Now? 0:08:22.560 --> 0:08:23.920 We're right there. 0:08:24.040 --> 0:08:28.200 That's boy too, by the way, Oh my gosh, dog. 0:08:30.320 --> 0:08:30.600 Listen. 0:08:30.720 --> 0:08:32.680 Yeah, that's like I mean, I was that girl that 0:08:32.720 --> 0:08:35.760 had like the usher posters on her wall. Actually had 0:08:35.760 --> 0:08:38.480 the opportunity to sing for him. I was like thirteen. 0:08:38.640 --> 0:08:42.480 He was in Chicago filming lighted up and he was 0:08:42.480 --> 0:08:44.400 at a basketball game, and so after the game was over, 0:08:44.880 --> 0:08:46.600 they set it up for me to sing for him, 0:08:47.040 --> 0:08:48.000 and he looked at me. 0:08:48.240 --> 0:08:51.280 I was so nervous. I was so nervous. I'm like, 0:08:51.320 --> 0:08:52.680 this is like, I love him. 0:08:53.480 --> 0:08:56.679 I hit every sharp and flat no at the same time, 0:08:56.720 --> 0:08:58.800 and he was like, all right, you love to sing 0:08:58.840 --> 0:08:59.199 him like. 0:08:59.160 --> 0:09:01.320 I too love to sing. He's like, do you go 0:09:01.360 --> 0:09:02.600 to church. I'm like, yeah, I go to church. 0:09:02.640 --> 0:09:04.839 He was like, you know, it's important to go back 0:09:04.880 --> 0:09:07.160 to church, get in the choir, and continue to work 0:09:07.200 --> 0:09:09.440 on your craft. And I was like all right, and 0:09:09.480 --> 0:09:11.280 then that was it, and I was like what just happened? 0:09:11.320 --> 0:09:13.880 But I did take his advice. I went, I got 0:09:13.880 --> 0:09:16.840 in the choir, you know, and that's like my training literally, 0:09:16.960 --> 0:09:20.640 So I took that advice, and you know, no putting 0:09:20.640 --> 0:09:22.640 out the album. So I like to think he helped 0:09:22.679 --> 0:09:26.240 me along my journey as well. But yeah, like he's 0:09:26.280 --> 0:09:28.599 a dope artist. Think you know longevity. 0:09:28.720 --> 0:09:32.200 So okay, well, now of the mushy stuff is out 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:35.720 the way, It's time on. You got me fucked up? 0:09:35.880 --> 0:09:36.040 Now? 0:09:36.040 --> 0:09:38.040 What are some things that get on your damn nerves? 0:09:38.040 --> 0:09:39.640 It could be now on a person place or a 0:09:39.679 --> 0:09:48.120 thing that got you fucked up. It could be traffic, FaceTime. Yeah, 0:09:48.160 --> 0:09:50.400 people that owe you money that you've fucked up. What's 0:09:50.400 --> 0:09:52.680 something that just grind your gears? 0:09:52.720 --> 0:09:54.800 My strange husband some to the X. 0:09:57.360 --> 0:09:59.760 Oh can we unpack it? Friend? Or is that is 0:09:59.800 --> 0:10:00.760 that you gonna give us? 0:10:00.800 --> 0:10:03.120 I'm going through a divorce, so that's just what it is. 0:10:03.520 --> 0:10:04.520 You got you fucked up? 0:10:04.800 --> 0:10:05.959 This is going on two years. 0:10:06.760 --> 0:10:08.320 Why does divorces take so long? 0:10:08.760 --> 0:10:09.240 Not mine? 0:10:09.720 --> 0:10:14.080 Who's I'm like, what advice. 0:10:15.400 --> 0:10:20.360 On top of my wife Tiian? But I do I 0:10:20.400 --> 0:10:24.120 do wonder? Yeah, one time for my wife Tnian happened 0:10:24.120 --> 0:10:26.679 to I was just planning. I was just saying, uh, 0:10:26.800 --> 0:10:28.520 you know, if you had assets, you have to divide 0:10:28.559 --> 0:10:30.160 them and all that stuff, right, So. 0:10:30.200 --> 0:10:32.280 I'm learning, like, you know, you you fall in love 0:10:32.400 --> 0:10:34.520 it's all the beauty. It's like the kisses and you 0:10:34.559 --> 0:10:36.840 build a family and then you go through something like 0:10:36.880 --> 0:10:42.720 this and it becomes complete business. It's like paperwork, negotiations, division. 0:10:42.840 --> 0:10:45.320 You have to accept it or not. I don't accept that. Well, 0:10:45.720 --> 0:10:48.160 you have mediation, all types of you go. 0:10:48.080 --> 0:10:49.360 Again and gets continued. 0:10:49.400 --> 0:10:52.880 You got to schedule your schedules. Crazy. His schedule might 0:10:52.920 --> 0:10:55.160 be all over the place, all the way down to 0:10:55.200 --> 0:10:57.240 the dog you guys, pets and stuff like that. 0:10:57.559 --> 0:11:00.920 It's down to the recliner chair to listen. 0:11:02.320 --> 0:11:02.960 Who gets that? 0:11:03.640 --> 0:11:05.880 So you have to say who gets Yes, you have 0:11:05.920 --> 0:11:12.880 to agree on it, an agreement yes. So that shit 0:11:12.960 --> 0:11:13.679 got you fucked up. 0:11:15.679 --> 0:11:17.880 And this when I'm like take it all Like, you 0:11:17.920 --> 0:11:19.520 get to that point too where you're like I don't 0:11:19.520 --> 0:11:22.080 want to fight, you know, and you really learn like 0:11:22.360 --> 0:11:25.560 these things don't matter, you know, because the headache or 0:11:25.640 --> 0:11:26.960 just give it up and I'll get it back. 0:11:27.920 --> 0:11:29.080 Some people be petty too. 0:11:29.600 --> 0:11:32.479 Some people just gets petty when it's when the emotions 0:11:32.480 --> 0:11:36.080 and the love is gone and people don't care and 0:11:36.080 --> 0:11:39.360 it's fucked up. I always feel like that shouldn't be 0:11:39.840 --> 0:11:41.679 It shouldn't be like that, because you know you were 0:11:41.720 --> 0:11:43.880 once in love with that person, So let's just keep 0:11:43.920 --> 0:11:47.520 it as amicable as possible, exactly. But when it's not 0:11:47.559 --> 0:11:50.559 like that, it's it could be evil. It becomes yes, 0:11:50.880 --> 0:11:54.319 which leads me to our next segment. It's called the 0:11:54.360 --> 0:11:59.800 mental health checking. Yeah. Man, so we're big mental health advocates. 0:12:00.559 --> 0:12:03.280 You know, I got I got a wife, two baby, moments, 0:12:03.320 --> 0:12:08.200 five kids. Uh so I go to therapy. It's important. 0:12:09.160 --> 0:12:11.920 Essential what I'm saying, it's essential, and I do things 0:12:11.920 --> 0:12:15.320 where I set boundaries in my life. That's one time 0:12:15.360 --> 0:12:18.920 for my little bro right here. He I feel like 0:12:18.960 --> 0:12:21.400 I've introduced him into the mental health work space where 0:12:21.440 --> 0:12:24.560 you have to decompress at the end of the day. 0:12:24.920 --> 0:12:28.000 You can't run the whole day. You're running the whole day. 0:12:28.679 --> 0:12:31.280 That sh it is terrible for your mental health. You 0:12:31.440 --> 0:12:35.439 gotta turn it off. So when Drew's having a moment, 0:12:35.480 --> 0:12:37.840 because I learned from Money Long, you can't say someone's 0:12:37.880 --> 0:12:39.600 having a bad day. Some people may have moments, they 0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:43.640 don't bad days. So if you're having a moment, or 0:12:43.679 --> 0:12:45.559 if you call it a bad day, what do you do? 0:12:45.559 --> 0:12:47.680 Do you talk to somebody and are you in therapy? 0:12:48.280 --> 0:12:51.840 I definitely, you know, love the conversation you a little 0:12:51.840 --> 0:12:54.720 close to the microphone me because we got to hear this. 0:12:55.160 --> 0:12:58.880 I call it mental health mishaps, you know, because it's 0:12:58.960 --> 0:13:01.439 just like you said, it's a moment and you mess up. 0:13:01.520 --> 0:13:03.880 You know, it's a oops, it's a okay. And I 0:13:03.880 --> 0:13:05.800 think we all have a certain level of mental health. 0:13:05.800 --> 0:13:06.920 That's why it's so for for us to. 0:13:06.840 --> 0:13:07.439 Take care of it. 0:13:07.720 --> 0:13:10.760 Like we work out our bodies, you know, but we 0:13:10.840 --> 0:13:12.440 have to work out our brain because you can't see it. 0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:15.120 So I actually had a brain scan. Shout out to 0:13:15.120 --> 0:13:15.880 the aim and Clinic. 0:13:15.960 --> 0:13:18.839 They did a brain scan because I wanted to know 0:13:18.960 --> 0:13:22.680 like the trauma and what to do about it. So yeah, 0:13:22.720 --> 0:13:25.600 they work with like football players, you know, bac concussions 0:13:25.640 --> 0:13:27.800 and things of that nature. But I found out, you know, 0:13:27.920 --> 0:13:31.920 everything about my brain and the therapy that I specifically need. 0:13:32.200 --> 0:13:34.240 So when you talk about a therapist, like my therapist 0:13:34.240 --> 0:13:35.480 has it and he's like, this is what we need 0:13:35.520 --> 0:13:38.600 to talk about, you know specifically, And I think that's important. 0:13:38.640 --> 0:13:40.800 I think we have to normalize the conversation because we 0:13:40.840 --> 0:13:43.400 see so many people that appear to be normal, and 0:13:43.480 --> 0:13:46.320 we have to eliminate that because then you're surprised when 0:13:46.440 --> 0:13:48.520 they're no longer they take their life or you know, 0:13:48.559 --> 0:13:50.880 they fall, you know, to addictions. 0:13:50.880 --> 0:13:53.000 So it's like, let's talk about it as. 0:13:53.240 --> 0:13:55.680 Actually our community more than ever because we used to say, 0:13:55.679 --> 0:13:58.679 oh they crazy, Oh they crazy. No, you know, now 0:13:58.679 --> 0:14:00.199 I'm like, you know they say like the old the 0:14:00.240 --> 0:14:02.040 elderly would be like, oh they see now, well my 0:14:02.160 --> 0:14:05.880 dad had Alzheimer's. It's like that is actual diagnosis that 0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:08.959 requires like medical attention. So, you know, I think it's 0:14:08.960 --> 0:14:11.080 really important for me. I pray a lot. You know, 0:14:11.120 --> 0:14:13.760 I'm God fearing. I have a very strong mother that 0:14:13.800 --> 0:14:17.760 instilled that in me, and also therapy, therapy and really 0:14:17.800 --> 0:14:20.520 taking care of myself holistically, because you can't take care 0:14:20.520 --> 0:14:22.240 of one body function without taking care of the others. 0:14:22.240 --> 0:14:25.760 So physically finding time to take care of myself, mentally, emotionally, 0:14:26.080 --> 0:14:28.600 you know, spiritually, all of that I think goes together. 0:14:29.240 --> 0:14:34.080 So that's important. So well, I had to go through everything, 0:14:34.120 --> 0:14:36.760 you know what I'm saying, where you're completely broken, you like, Okay, 0:14:36.760 --> 0:14:37.200 how do I. 0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:39.600 Put this back together? And literally this has been the 0:14:39.640 --> 0:14:40.840 journey for the last two years. 0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:42.440 You know that I have to do and I have kids, 0:14:42.480 --> 0:14:45.480 so it's important for them to see me as healthy 0:14:45.520 --> 0:14:46.360 as possible too. 0:14:47.080 --> 0:14:50.520 Because being a mom is a lot, a lot, a lot. 0:14:50.600 --> 0:14:53.680 I don't think moms get enough credit. My wife. My 0:14:53.720 --> 0:14:57.560 wife put me through the She put me through it 0:14:57.600 --> 0:15:01.520 on this in a positive way. Most recent baby, she 0:15:01.640 --> 0:15:03.160 was like, look, you will have a baby because I asked. 0:15:03.200 --> 0:15:05.360 I actually asked her to have this last recent baby, 0:15:05.640 --> 0:15:08.480 she's on one years old. She was like, look, you 0:15:08.600 --> 0:15:11.880 gonna be there all the time. He'd be laughing at me. 0:15:11.880 --> 0:15:13.840 I'm like, bro, I'm changing diapers right now. Bro, Because 0:15:14.200 --> 0:15:16.680 she put it on me and I kept saying, yo, 0:15:17.760 --> 0:15:20.120 I don I don't have one if it was like 0:15:20.200 --> 0:15:23.040 all this, so I say that to same. I didn't know. 0:15:23.880 --> 0:15:25.960 I was ignorant to the fact of how much it 0:15:26.000 --> 0:15:30.880 takes to raise a child, let alone multiple ones. This 0:15:30.920 --> 0:15:34.920 is me at forty one admitting that. Damn. I'm over 0:15:34.960 --> 0:15:38.040 here thinking, oh, yeah, she got it. She good listen. 0:15:38.160 --> 0:15:43.080 And therapy has also encouraged me to be transparent. Ooh, 0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:47.160 so I did again. I'm healing shit that I dealt 0:15:47.200 --> 0:15:52.080 with fifteen twenty years ago. But I can talk about 0:15:52.120 --> 0:15:54.040 it now because I'm over here because I had to 0:15:54.080 --> 0:15:56.960 admit it. I tell you. I'm a re I'm a 0:15:57.120 --> 0:16:01.320 reg this guy. See me in my worst and Mama drama. 0:16:01.520 --> 0:16:06.360 She was all over I'm drinking, I'm smoking and alcohol 0:16:06.440 --> 0:16:09.120 at the same time. I'm leaving. I'm looking for the 0:16:09.240 --> 0:16:12.000 I'm looking for the I'm looking for everything. I'm over here. 0:16:12.680 --> 0:16:17.360 I don't even go out unless it's a highly paid situation. Anyway. 0:16:17.360 --> 0:16:18.760 I say that because you're fulfilled. 0:16:20.320 --> 0:16:22.720 I didn't know how rich I was. That had nothing 0:16:22.720 --> 0:16:26.400 to do with money exactly. So again, I'm just sharing 0:16:26.440 --> 0:16:30.120 this because I could feel the energy. It's positive and 0:16:30.360 --> 0:16:33.160 maybe maybe you needed to hear it too, But I 0:16:33.200 --> 0:16:35.240 could tell you're a good mom. 0:16:35.600 --> 0:16:36.280 Thank you. 0:16:36.280 --> 0:16:40.040 You're doing the best that you can to handle what's 0:16:40.120 --> 0:16:42.640 around you. So if I could you know what I'm saying. 0:16:43.200 --> 0:16:46.520 That and to you, because that's real big and that's 0:16:46.520 --> 0:16:46.960 real deep. 0:16:47.080 --> 0:16:48.720 Well, you know, man, we're not taught to talk to 0:16:48.720 --> 0:16:52.080 express our feelings. So I think I don't know your 0:16:52.080 --> 0:16:54.640 ex husband, but I don't. I just I feel like 0:16:55.280 --> 0:16:58.440 once we learn how to express ourselves, we could communicate 0:16:58.480 --> 0:17:02.040 that because I'm learning. I learned with my baby mamas 0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:06.919 that I didn't communicate correctly. I fucked that up. We 0:17:06.960 --> 0:17:09.359 could have ended the relationship, but I didn't communicate well. 0:17:09.520 --> 0:17:11.760 One of them was my high school girlfriend, my second 0:17:11.800 --> 0:17:14.679 one was a college but I never communicated I was cheating, 0:17:15.119 --> 0:17:18.040 cheated on both, but I didn't communicate that I wanted 0:17:18.080 --> 0:17:19.640 to leave. I just was like, all right, cool whatever, 0:17:19.840 --> 0:17:22.399 let me just do my thing. Wow. And then I 0:17:22.400 --> 0:17:24.200 don't give a fuck about how she feels. And then 0:17:24.240 --> 0:17:26.040 it led into a whole bunch of drama, all type 0:17:26.040 --> 0:17:28.720 of shit. I could have prevented all that. Yeah, So 0:17:28.840 --> 0:17:32.440 you know, again, we're not taught to express ourselves like shit, 0:17:32.520 --> 0:17:36.960 this shit ain't working. I want to leave, Yes, tell 0:17:37.000 --> 0:17:39.960 you that, Yes, you know what I'm saying, don't tell 0:17:40.000 --> 0:17:42.200 it to you. But again, this is me. I don't 0:17:42.280 --> 0:17:44.480 even think we I didn't learn to use my feelings 0:17:44.560 --> 0:17:48.160 until I met my wife. Wow, and that's at thirty two. 0:17:50.400 --> 0:17:52.760 I didnet did so much bullshit and drama and lied 0:17:52.840 --> 0:17:55.000