1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:02,840 Speaker 1: Bugga, hold on tight, we got it for you. Here 2 00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:06,160 Speaker 1: it is the Strawberry letter, Thank you nephew. Subject no 3 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:09,960 Speaker 1: more loving, Just Stephen Shirley. I am fifty four year 4 00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:13,600 Speaker 1: old married man and I've been married for thirty six years. 5 00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:16,279 Speaker 1: My wife and I have twelve kids, so my wife 6 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:19,240 Speaker 1: has never worked a day in her life. Besides raising 7 00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:21,920 Speaker 1: our family. I've always done my best to keep us 8 00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 1: on track financially, working two or three jobs at times. 9 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,319 Speaker 1: I have always been the best dad I could be, 10 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:31,240 Speaker 1: and I make sure my family is well taken care of. 11 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:34,159 Speaker 1: My only problem is that my wife does not do 12 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:37,040 Speaker 1: her part by making sure I'm well taken care of. 13 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:39,960 Speaker 1: When I come in from work, she doesn't want me 14 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,720 Speaker 1: to kiss her or touch her lovingly. It's a peck 15 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:45,080 Speaker 1: on the cheek, and then she goes into the other room. 16 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:48,080 Speaker 1: When we're in bed together, we are just lying side 17 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:52,200 Speaker 1: by side, talking or watching TV. Then she glows straight 18 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:55,240 Speaker 1: to sleep. I don't get any kind of loving anymore. 19 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 1: She used to really enjoy the oral thing, but she 20 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:00,880 Speaker 1: hasn't done that in years. If I ask for a 21 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:06,680 Speaker 1: little bit of intimacy, excuse me, I'm sorry. Did was 22 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:09,080 Speaker 1: there something you wanted to say, all right, just heard 23 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:14,840 Speaker 1: you say years. I'm sorry, okay, yeah. Years. If I 24 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:17,240 Speaker 1: ask for a little bit of intimacy, she tells me 25 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:23,120 Speaker 1: heck no, and that I'm disrespect Hell no, I'm disrespectful 26 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:26,480 Speaker 1: and I only think of myself and my needs. We 27 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:30,000 Speaker 1: used to have some wild, freaky good times together, but 28 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:32,479 Speaker 1: now she won't even rub my back if I've had 29 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:34,800 Speaker 1: a long day at work. I have given her a 30 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:38,440 Speaker 1: nice six bedroom house, and we have four cars for 31 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:41,080 Speaker 1: her to choose from in the driveway. I let her 32 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:44,600 Speaker 1: control all of the money that's left over after we 33 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:48,760 Speaker 1: pay household expenses. She cooks most days because she enjoys 34 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:51,200 Speaker 1: cooking for the family. I would say that she has 35 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:53,400 Speaker 1: a great life, so she should be a little more 36 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:56,240 Speaker 1: excited to take care of me when I need some attention. 37 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:58,600 Speaker 1: I am still young and I have needs. How can 38 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:01,280 Speaker 1: I get the romance and sat back into our marriage? 39 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:07,320 Speaker 1: Please help? Well, I would say that on the surface, 40 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:10,320 Speaker 1: based on you know what you've written here, she is 41 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:12,840 Speaker 1: a great life too. Thirty six years of marriage to 42 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:16,000 Speaker 1: a very hard working man, sometimes two and three jobs, 43 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:19,600 Speaker 1: a good dad. You say, you know you give her 44 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:22,320 Speaker 1: the money, you try to take care of them financially 45 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:25,400 Speaker 1: and everything. You guys have twelve kids that she loves 46 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:28,639 Speaker 1: to cook for. She's never worked outside the house. Sounds 47 00:02:28,639 --> 00:02:30,680 Speaker 1: like that's a pretty good start. Seems like she would 48 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:34,480 Speaker 1: be happy with that. But clearly she's not. Something is 49 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:37,840 Speaker 1: wrong here. She's upset about something. She's going through something. 50 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:43,200 Speaker 1: I heard you talk a lot about what you do 51 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:45,440 Speaker 1: for the family and the work and the kids and 52 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:48,000 Speaker 1: financially and all of this. You want her to rub 53 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:52,760 Speaker 1: your back. And your wife's told you now that you're 54 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:56,760 Speaker 1: disrespectful and that you only think of yourself and your needs. Now, 55 00:02:56,800 --> 00:03:00,840 Speaker 1: this makes me think that you know, in this letter 56 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,000 Speaker 1: you said a lot of wonderful things, but I didn't 57 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:07,080 Speaker 1: hear anything about you know, date nights or or or 58 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:11,760 Speaker 1: I didn't hear that she has any me time for herself, 59 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:15,720 Speaker 1: a girl's night out, or any any place or any 60 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:18,000 Speaker 1: time where she can just be alone and just do 61 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,440 Speaker 1: her Maybe she needs to get away, you know, on 62 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,760 Speaker 1: a on a trip or something to rejuvenate her. You know, 63 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,799 Speaker 1: she needs to get out of the house. I mean, 64 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:30,240 Speaker 1: you know, it could be something else. It could be 65 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:33,120 Speaker 1: that she's going through depression. It could be you know, 66 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:36,840 Speaker 1: her libido is low. It could be a lot of things. Menopause, 67 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:39,320 Speaker 1: it could be a lot of things. I think that, um, 68 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:43,720 Speaker 1: what I'm feeling though about this letter is that she 69 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:47,800 Speaker 1: she just needs some me time. She just needs to, um, 70 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:52,080 Speaker 1: go to the spot something like that. She she what 71 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:54,520 Speaker 1: you said about her gave me the clue you only 72 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:58,160 Speaker 1: think of yourself and your needs. So maybe she doesn't 73 00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:02,000 Speaker 1: feel like you're really kate to her needs. Yes, you've 74 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:05,160 Speaker 1: given her all these things, but sometimes you know she 75 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:08,040 Speaker 1: just wants you. You're you're away from the house a lot, 76 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:12,040 Speaker 1: I'm assuming if you're if you're working two or three jobs, 77 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:15,040 Speaker 1: so maybe she's just tired when you come home. Maybe 78 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 1: you know, you guys need some counseling, because it sounds 79 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:20,640 Speaker 1: like that's what it is. I mean, I think the 80 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:23,600 Speaker 1: two of you need to reassess your marriage and do 81 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:27,000 Speaker 1: some counseling. It's not just about the intimacy right now. 82 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:30,880 Speaker 1: You guys need to work on your marriage. And I 83 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:34,640 Speaker 1: think that's where the problem is. Steve, I got it. 84 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:37,600 Speaker 1: I see this whole problem. I saw it from the 85 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:41,719 Speaker 1: very beginning of the letter. Shirley. See the advantage I 86 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:45,159 Speaker 1: have is when a dude writes a letter I have 87 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 1: an advantage because I happen to be a guy. I 88 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:52,760 Speaker 1: think you have the advantage, Shirley, when women write letters, 89 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:55,039 Speaker 1: because you have a special insight to how women think 90 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:57,920 Speaker 1: and feel. Well, I have a special insight when men 91 00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:01,279 Speaker 1: write how they think and feel. Here's what the whole 92 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:04,080 Speaker 1: problem is, and he tells it to us in the beginning. 93 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:07,159 Speaker 1: This Stephen Sherley, I'm a fifty four year old married man. 94 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:10,920 Speaker 1: I've been married for thirty six years. You do the math. 95 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:15,279 Speaker 1: They got married at eighteen. My wife and I have 96 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:24,400 Speaker 1: twelve kids. Twelve so my wife has never worked a 97 00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:32,880 Speaker 1: day in her life besides raising our family. Popped her breaks, homie, 98 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:38,279 Speaker 1: did you hear what you just said? You said that 99 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:42,800 Speaker 1: your wife has never worked a day in her life 100 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:49,440 Speaker 1: besides raising our family dog. Y'all got twelve kids. This 101 00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:54,279 Speaker 1: woman been pregnant since y'all been married. This woman has 102 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:59,640 Speaker 1: either been pregnant or about to get pregnant the entire 103 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:07,400 Speaker 1: time y'all been married. Y'all got twelve kids. She didn't 104 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 1: worked every day of her damn life. The problem is 105 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:18,000 Speaker 1: you don't recognize that right fast. The problem with this 106 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:20,960 Speaker 1: damn ladder heck gun, Steve hold that thought, we'll be 107 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:25,760 Speaker 1: back subject no more loving. Let's go. Like I said, 108 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,720 Speaker 1: I only got a short way in this letter. That's 109 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,600 Speaker 1: fifty four year old man married for thirty six years, 110 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:32,680 Speaker 1: which means he'd been married since he was eighteen to 111 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:36,520 Speaker 1: the same woman. My wife and I have twelve kids. 112 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:39,159 Speaker 1: Then he says, so my wife has never worked a 113 00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:43,880 Speaker 1: day in her life besides raising our family. Hold up, partner, 114 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:49,719 Speaker 1: that's all she's ever done is work. Anybody that just 115 00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:54,839 Speaker 1: stayed home with folk kids? Three kids? Two kids? Hell, 116 00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:59,480 Speaker 1: one kid? She been at the house with twelve vote 117 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:04,080 Speaker 1: And then you say never worked a day in her 118 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,839 Speaker 1: life besides raising. That's to be getting or what's wrong 119 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:09,680 Speaker 1: with this letter? And then all of this stuff you 120 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,280 Speaker 1: say is good is coming from you. I've always done 121 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:14,720 Speaker 1: my best to keep us on track financially, working two 122 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,960 Speaker 1: three jobs at a time. Well, you was making babies. 123 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:25,560 Speaker 1: Though you made twelve kids, you got you know, there's consequences. 124 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:28,400 Speaker 1: Now you got to go work to three jobs. I 125 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:31,680 Speaker 1: have always been the best day I could be, and 126 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:33,920 Speaker 1: I make sure my family is well. Take it care. 127 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:37,960 Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure she's been the best mom she could be. 128 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:41,480 Speaker 1: And I guarantee you she's making sure all of y'all 129 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:45,080 Speaker 1: have been taken care of. My only problem is that 130 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:48,760 Speaker 1: my wife does not do her part in making sure 131 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:52,200 Speaker 1: I'm well taken call. Wait a minute, whole of dog. 132 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:54,400 Speaker 1: Are you? Did you read the letter? Fo you send 133 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:58,560 Speaker 1: it to us. Everything you're saying of this letter is 134 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:02,400 Speaker 1: about you. The only problem is that my wife does 135 00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:06,800 Speaker 1: not do her part. And what she got twelve kids? 136 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:11,280 Speaker 1: She didn't had what else you wanted to do? Though 137 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:15,200 Speaker 1: you've been getting sex leven, get a lot of sex. 138 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:17,200 Speaker 1: You gotta have a lot of sex made twelve kids. 139 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:21,680 Speaker 1: You have sex a lot so that that ain't the problem. 140 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:25,160 Speaker 1: So you've been getting taking care of pardon proudly. Now 141 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:27,720 Speaker 1: when I come home from work, she don't want me 142 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:32,840 Speaker 1: to kiss her and touch her. You want to touch 143 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:37,280 Speaker 1: her lovingly now because it could lead to another damn baby, 144 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:41,360 Speaker 1: Your damn hands off fu me. We got twelve, I 145 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:45,079 Speaker 1: don't want thirteen. It's to peck on the cheek and 146 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,640 Speaker 1: this she off to the other room. Now when we 147 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:50,160 Speaker 1: are in bed together, we just laying side by side 148 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:52,960 Speaker 1: talking to watch the TV. Then she goes straight to sleep. 149 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:56,120 Speaker 1: I don't get any kind of loving anymore. That she 150 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:58,800 Speaker 1: used to really enjoy the old thing, but she ain't 151 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:02,000 Speaker 1: done that in year. Okay, let's let's let's let's talk 152 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:05,400 Speaker 1: about this line right here. She used to really enjoy 153 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:07,960 Speaker 1: the old thing, but she ain't done that in years. 154 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:11,720 Speaker 1: That anything about you in this letter. That's what she 155 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,720 Speaker 1: told him when the last time you didn't enjoy doing 156 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:21,199 Speaker 1: something to her for her. Oh and it got quiet, 157 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:24,600 Speaker 1: but she ain't done that in years. No, because you 158 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:29,360 Speaker 1: ain't been doing nothing in years. If I ask for 159 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:31,640 Speaker 1: a little bit of intimate she tells me, hell no. 160 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:34,920 Speaker 1: And now this is where Shirley nailed you. She tells 161 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:37,920 Speaker 1: me hell no, and that I'm disrespectful and I only 162 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:40,680 Speaker 1: think of myself and my needs. And I think she's 163 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:43,520 Speaker 1: absolutely correct, because to just be honest with you, bro, 164 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:46,520 Speaker 1: that's all you've talked about in this letter is you, 165 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:50,240 Speaker 1: your needs. What she don't do for you, what you've 166 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,960 Speaker 1: done for the family. She ain't never worked a day 167 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,520 Speaker 1: in her life besides raising the family. You don't think 168 00:09:55,559 --> 00:09:59,960 Speaker 1: that's hard job, dog raising twelve kids? Let me come on, man, Damn, 169 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:02,040 Speaker 1: I ain't just jumping on you, bro, But you gotta 170 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:05,480 Speaker 1: look at this letter you wrote. Man, This ain't a good. Look, 171 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:09,560 Speaker 1: now we used to have some wild, freaky good time together. Yeah, 172 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,400 Speaker 1: you're twelve kids, Dog, I told you had a lot 173 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,960 Speaker 1: of sex. I've told you that. I didn't I say that, 174 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:17,480 Speaker 1: But now she won't even rub my back if I 175 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,959 Speaker 1: had a long dead work. I have given her a 176 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:24,120 Speaker 1: nice six bedroom house, old man, don't you stay there right? 177 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:27,800 Speaker 1: I've given her a nice six bedroom house, and we 178 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,880 Speaker 1: have four cars for her to choose from in the drawway. 179 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:36,160 Speaker 1: Don't you drive off for I mean a six bedroom 180 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:43,760 Speaker 1: house and folk cars on versus the twelve kids she gave. Dog, y'all, 181 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:48,199 Speaker 1: you can you add six bedrooms and folk cars. That's 182 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:50,960 Speaker 1: still ain't but ten items she gave you twelve kids. 183 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:55,760 Speaker 1: You're shot, bro, You're shot anywhere you do the bath 184 00:10:55,880 --> 00:11:00,240 Speaker 1: on this party? I mean, dog, I mean really. I 185 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:03,160 Speaker 1: let her control all the money. Well you got to 186 00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:06,920 Speaker 1: you at three jobs. You ain't at the house that's 187 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:11,280 Speaker 1: left over after we pay household oh oh oh. I 188 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:14,600 Speaker 1: let her control all the money that's left over after 189 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:19,800 Speaker 1: we pay household expenses. She cooks most days because she 190 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:22,959 Speaker 1: enjoyed cooking for the family. I would say that she 191 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:25,640 Speaker 1: has I would say that she's got a great life, 192 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:27,800 Speaker 1: so she should be a little more excited to take 193 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:30,959 Speaker 1: care of me when I need some attention. I'm still 194 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:33,440 Speaker 1: young and I have needs. How can I get the 195 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:35,520 Speaker 1: romance and sex back in the man? Why don't you 196 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:38,439 Speaker 1: put it back in there, you know while she cooking 197 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:40,520 Speaker 1: and enjoying for the family. Maybe if she feels like 198 00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:43,800 Speaker 1: the family appreciator, you've lost appreciation for your girl. You 199 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:47,000 Speaker 1: keep making demands on her without fulfilling none of her knees. 200 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:52,559 Speaker 1: She's just not a baby maker dog. She is a woman. Sorry, 201 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:55,000 Speaker 1: all right, wrong on this one, homie. I tell you 202 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:58,760 Speaker 1: later and thank you. Steve. It's always post. You're coming 203 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,880 Speaker 1: some Today's Strawberry Let on Instagram and Facebook. At Steve 204 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:05,160 Speaker 1: Harvey FM and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. 205 00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:08,160 Speaker 1: You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.