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Speaker 1: All right time now for today's Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 2: And if you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,

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Speaker 2: and more. Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM

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Speaker 2: dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be

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Speaker 2: reading your letter live on the air, just like we're

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Speaker 2: going to read this one right here, right now.

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Speaker 1: It could be yours.

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Speaker 3: You never know, you never know. Buckle up and hold

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Speaker 3: on tight. We got it. Fight you here. It is Scrawberry.

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Speaker 2: Letter subject, What's the rush?

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley.

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Speaker 2: I've been with the same man for eleven years, and

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Speaker 2: he asked me to marry him four years ago. Now,

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Speaker 2: all of a sudden, he wants to set a wedding date,

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Speaker 2: but I do not want to. I met him in college,

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Speaker 2: and I thought we were destined to have a great

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Speaker 2: love story. I was twenty and he was twenty two,

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Speaker 2: and our chemistry was amazing. When I was twenty two,

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Speaker 2: I got pregnant and we moved in together. I got

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Speaker 2: a job while he got his master's degree, and he

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Speaker 2: told me he finished his degree, he was going to

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Speaker 2: make me his wife. On his graduation night. I got

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Speaker 2: pregnant again. He got a really good job, and I

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Speaker 2: started teaching school. I fell in love with my job

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Speaker 2: and raising our children, so I didn't really realize that

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Speaker 2: I was playing house and this man did not plan

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Speaker 2: to marry me. I went to stay with my mother

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Speaker 2: for a while so I could clear my head. He

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Speaker 2: begged me to come back home and he promised that

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Speaker 2: he was about to propose. Years passed by and he didn't.

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Speaker 2: His father overheard us fussing one day and he advised

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Speaker 2: his son to either marry me or let me go.

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Speaker 2: A few weeks later, he asked me to be his wife.

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Speaker 2: That was four years ago, and I was ready to

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Speaker 2: do it right then he kept stalling and asking me

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Speaker 2: what's the rush by? And moved past it now for

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Speaker 2: the marriage and I don't want him anymore. I don't

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Speaker 2: even wear my ring and he hasn't noticed. He invited

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Speaker 2: my mother over last weekend to talk about wedding dates

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Speaker 2: and I was checked out of the conversation. When my

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Speaker 2: mother left, I asked him, what's the rush? He hasn't

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Speaker 2: spoken to me in over a week because of my attitude?

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Speaker 2: How can I not be allowed to have an attitude?

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Speaker 2: Should I give the ring back or move on? Or

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Speaker 2: should I marry an old friend and baby day that

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Speaker 2: I don't love anymore.

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Speaker 1: Please don't do that if that's the truth.

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Speaker 2: I mean, why would you marry someone that you don't

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Speaker 2: love anymore? That makes about as much sense as him

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Speaker 2: walking around for more than a week not talking to

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Speaker 2: you because you said to him, what's the rush? The

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Speaker 2: man is too immature for you. I think you have

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Speaker 2: to let him, you know. I kind of blame it

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Speaker 2: on you a little bit because you've let him get

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Speaker 2: away with too much stuff in this relationship. He's not

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Speaker 2: kept his word on anything. And where does he think

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Speaker 2: you got what's the rush from? You got it from

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Speaker 2: he said it to you first, I mean, to the

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Speaker 2: real red flag. And it's a glimpse into what marriage

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Speaker 2: might be like with this man. I mean, this entire

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Speaker 2: letter is about your lives together. Since you were twenty

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Speaker 2: and twenty two years old, the main thing you wanted

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Speaker 2: was to marry this man. He kept putting it off

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Speaker 2: because there was no incentive to marry you. You already

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Speaker 2: had the babies early on, you were living together. He

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Speaker 2: had what he wanted right there without the benefit of marriage,

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Speaker 2: and now he sees you've changed, so he's trying to

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Speaker 2: step up.

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Speaker 1: But it's too late. You're over it. You say it,

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Speaker 1: at least the marriage part.

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Speaker 2: I mean. The sad thing is, you guys do have

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Speaker 2: two children, so you have to talk to each other.

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Speaker 1: You got to communicate.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I think this fairy tale you have, of

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Speaker 2: this great love story you want it, I think that's over.

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Speaker 2: The reality is eleven years later, you're miserable, you're ready

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Speaker 2: to walk, and you're writing us. I say, go in peace,

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Speaker 2: knowing that you died the bullet from not marrying this guy.

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Speaker 2: After all these years, I think you should get your

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Speaker 2: child support and move on. When you do fall in

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Speaker 2: love again with the right man the next time. When

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Speaker 2: he proposed a set of date, start planning immediately. Okay,

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Speaker 2: don't waste time, Steve.

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna in two and a half minutes, this is

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Speaker 4: what i'm gonna do. And then the second half I'm

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Speaker 4: gonna show you how this works. I'm gonna show you

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Speaker 4: about thirteen questionable statements in this letter. He asked me

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Speaker 4: to marry him four years ago. That's one, he want

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Speaker 4: to set a wedding date, but I do not. That's two.

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Speaker 4: When I was twenty two, I got pregnant and we

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Speaker 4: moved in together. That's three. I got a job while

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Speaker 4: he got his master's degree and told me as soon

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Speaker 4: as he finished his degree, he was gonna make me

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Speaker 4: his wife.

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Speaker 3: That's four. The fifth statement was I fell.

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Speaker 4: In love with my job and raising our children, so

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Speaker 4: I didn't realize I was playing house and this man

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Speaker 4: did not plan to marry me.

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Speaker 3: That's five. The next statement was I.

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Speaker 4: Tried and wanted to clear my head, so I went

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Speaker 4: to stay with my mama, me to come back. And

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Speaker 4: now he promised that he was going to about to propose.

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Speaker 4: That's six years go buy and his father overheard us

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Speaker 4: fussing one day and he advised his son either.

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Speaker 3: Married me or let me go.

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Speaker 4: That's seven. That was four years ago. A week later,

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Speaker 4: he asked me to be his wife.

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Speaker 3: That's eight.

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Speaker 4: That was four years ago, and I was ready to

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Speaker 4: do it right. Then he kept starting and asking me,

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Speaker 4: what's the rush.

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Speaker 3: That's nine.

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Speaker 4: I cried and moved past it. Now I'm over the

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Speaker 4: marriage and I don't want him anymore.

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Speaker 3: That's ten. I don't wear my ring and he hasn't notice.

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Speaker 3: That's eleven.

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Speaker 4: He invited his mother over to my mother over last

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Speaker 4: weekend to discuss wedding dates. I was checked out of

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Speaker 4: the conversation when my mother left. I asked him what

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Speaker 4: was the rush? That's twelve. He hasn't spoken to me

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Speaker 4: in over week because of my attitude? So how can

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Speaker 4: I not be allowed to have an attitude? Should I

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Speaker 4: give the ring back and move on? Or should I

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Speaker 4: marry an old friend and baby daddy that I don't

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Speaker 4: love anymore? That's thirteen in a one page letter.

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Speaker 3: I just read to.

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Speaker 4: You, thirteen very questionable statements.

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Speaker 3: Do this sound like marriage to you?

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Speaker 1: Not at all?

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Speaker 4: If you don't love somebody, I can promise you marriage

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Speaker 4: is out of the question.

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Speaker 3: Right because you don't need that mode.

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Speaker 4: And money, because I'm telling you, man, money don't keep

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Speaker 4: a relationship together.

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Speaker 3: Love can overcome a multitude.

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Speaker 4: Of sins, but if you ain't in love, it's no

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Speaker 4: way you can get married and stay married.

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Speaker 2: All right, Steve, hang on, we're waiting for part two

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Speaker 2: of your response, coming on.

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Speaker 3: I got an drives hours all.

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Speaker 2: Right, title of this strawberry letter? What's the rush? We'll

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Speaker 2: find out more when we come back.

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Speaker 1: Right after this.

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Speaker 2: You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show.

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Speaker 4: and lots of space.

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Speaker 2: All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter,

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Speaker 2: the subject what's the rush?

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Speaker 4: We just went through this letter about all these reasons

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Speaker 4: that this woman don't need to marry this man. I

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Speaker 4: gave you thirteen questionable statements.

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Speaker 3: At the end of the letter.

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Speaker 4: This lady just said, should I marry an old friend

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Speaker 4: and baby daddy that I don't love anymore? They've been

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Speaker 4: together for eleven years, and he been lying about getting married, stalling,

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Speaker 4: putting it all and false promises over and over and

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Speaker 4: over and over.

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Speaker 3: This man.

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Speaker 4: You realize, after you had two children and found a

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Speaker 4: school teaching job you love that this man was just

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Speaker 4: playing house and did not pretend he ain't even want

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Speaker 4: to get.

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Speaker 3: Married, because I've told you all, ladies about this.

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Speaker 4: The wedding day may be the day of your dream,

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Speaker 4: but the man does not have a wedding day as

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Speaker 4: the day of his dream. We only dream of the

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Speaker 4: chick of our dream. And if he can get you

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Speaker 4: without the day, what's to rush? And he just proved

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Speaker 4: what I've been saying for years, So he has you.

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Speaker 4: What's to rush?

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Speaker 3: Ladies?

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Speaker 4: This is what I want to do. Call her, surely

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Speaker 4: let me have you run divided attention. Please, we're going

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Speaker 4: to do a reenactment. I am gonna be mister what's

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Speaker 4: to rush? I don't care what you asked me. I'm

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Speaker 4: gonna find a way not to get married. You can

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Speaker 4: make it sound as wonderful as you like. Just make

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Speaker 4: a statement, and I am the person that don't want

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Speaker 4: to get married, and I will give you reasons why

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Speaker 4: we can't get You don't have to worry about this

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Speaker 4: letter Shirley and calling. You can ask me anything you want,

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Speaker 4: any happy remark about a wedding day, about what your

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Speaker 4: plans are. You can do anything, and I'll just tell

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Speaker 4: you why we can't do it.

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Speaker 3: Ready said here it.

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Speaker 2: Is, honey, I just got my wedding dress. I'm so excited.

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Speaker 4: Oh man, that's real nice man. Wedding dresses? Is they

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Speaker 4: so nice?

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Speaker 3: You know?

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Speaker 4: But you know, spending all that money for what you

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Speaker 4: know what I mean a dress?

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Speaker 3: You ain't got no dresses?

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Speaker 1: Guess what? My friend is getting married and I just

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Speaker 1: got her save the date in the mail.

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Speaker 3: So exciting.

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Speaker 1: Wait to go to her wedding.

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Speaker 4: That's cool. I can't wait to go to her wed

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Speaker 4: in neither say that date? So yeah, yeah, let's say

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Speaker 4: that date. That's beautiful. Man, that's good. I'm with that.

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Speaker 1: Man mark this day down.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I got it her sixteen, Yeah it done, got it,

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Speaker 4: December sixteenth, Special day.

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Speaker 1: Okay, when are.

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Speaker 3: We gonna go shopping? And what we gonna wear?

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Speaker 4: Like?

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Speaker 3: Oh we can wear all that babe? What baby, babe?

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Speaker 3: What you want to wear? What are you wear?

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Speaker 1: Anything?

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Speaker 3: You want to separate wearing dress? You know you wear.

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Speaker 1: Anything you want to Honey, you better not.

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Speaker 2: I'm pregnant again. Man, as well, make an honest woman

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Speaker 2: out of me.

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Speaker 4: Marry me, baby, baby. One of their main characteristics that

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Speaker 4: I love about you is your honesty. I don't you

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Speaker 4: know you've been honest with me the whole time with

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Speaker 4: how you are. That's the beautiful thing. But you're already

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Speaker 4: an honest person. Man, you need all that to prove

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Speaker 4: to somebody you an honest woman.

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Speaker 3: You know you've already had the baby.

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Speaker 4: You don't done all the tricky stuff anyway, anybody seem

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Speaker 4: to believe you honestly. You know, you know you can

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Speaker 4: set up here and done all this here and now

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Speaker 4: you want somebody to believe you honest, you know, like

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Speaker 4: you honest what you know we'd have done to due

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Speaker 4: now you know, baby coming, everybody know you and all

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Speaker 4: that honestly, you know me, you know, you.

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Speaker 1: Know you know. But let's seal the deal.

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Speaker 3: Let's seal the deal. Seeing it that right there? See

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Speaker 3: that sounds like stealing you. You don't be talking and

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Speaker 3: talking to Lord about stuff like that. You know we're

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Speaker 3: gonna seal the deal. Yess what.

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Speaker 4: That's why I love the church I go to, you know,

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Speaker 4: because they try to keep us seeing free.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 4: Now we've done already, been in sining, been made, you know,

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Speaker 4: have come you know, you know, cobotulating and all this before. Man,

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Speaker 4: Now all of a sudden, you know you gonna go

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Speaker 4: seal the deal. You know, just like go to hell.

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Speaker 4: You know, it don't make no sense.

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Speaker 2: Calling all right, So we've been talking all this stuff

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Speaker 2: about wedding.

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Speaker 1: When are we gonna set our day? Because I have

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Speaker 1: some dates in mind?

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Speaker 2: So do you want a summer wedding, Christmas winter wedding?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? I was thinking more like a leap year wedding.

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Speaker 3: I love it. I love it.

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Speaker 1: I want to wait that lot.

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Speaker 3: But see that'd be good.

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Speaker 4: Then, you know, could you give us time to plan

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Speaker 4: and everything like that? So that's the date I'm looking

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Speaker 4: forward to next time we have leap yet he'll go ahead.

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Speaker 2: Well, honey, I talked to the pastor and he said

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Speaker 2: he's ready. All we have to do is get back

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Speaker 2: with him and let him know when we're ready. So

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Speaker 2: he's he's set to officiate our ceremony, and I'm just

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Speaker 2: so excited.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 4: Well that's all good, But I just changed churches last week. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: so we don't even go there no more. That ain't

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Speaker 4: even my pastor no more. So we gotta line. We

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Speaker 4: got to get on this new past this list. Go ahead, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: we gotta start this process over bagans. We don't even

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Speaker 4: go there no more.

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Speaker 3: Go ahead.

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Speaker 1: You want to go to Vegas.

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Speaker 3: We can just go to Vegas. Get hell.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I want to go to Vegas, many Vegas. But

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Speaker 4: you know what they say, what happens in Vegas stays

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Speaker 4: in Vegas. So ain't no need us trying to come

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Speaker 4: back with no happy news.

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Speaker 2: Honey, honey, I'm so happy. Dad was ill, you know,

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Speaker 2: he was sick, but he's better now. And he said

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Speaker 2: he will wave you down the aisle.

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Speaker 1: He's ready. Yeah, he's gonna walk me down.

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Speaker 2: My dad, My dad, Dad, he's no longer sick, he's well.

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Speaker 4: You think I'm gonna be standing up there and watch

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Speaker 4: something happen to him on his way down.

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Speaker 3: IM I can do that.

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Speaker 2: Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter. It's Steve Harvey

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Speaker 2: FM on Instagram and on Facebook, and check out the

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Speaker 2: Strawberry Letter podcast on demand.

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Speaker 1: You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.