Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central. What can you do to
Speaker 1: fight back against the injustices of today? Obviously, there's no
Speaker 1: better activism than listening to a podcast. It's time to
Speaker 1: join the resistance against a tyrannical, divisive elementary school principle.
Speaker 1: Along with your hosts, Johnny, Tommy, and Isabelle, this is
Speaker 1: Pod Save Little Creek Elementary. Hello, and welcome to another
Speaker 1: episode of Pod Save Little Creek Elementary, the five and
Speaker 1: nineteen podcast in our growing network. We are the podcast
Speaker 1: by the resistance and for the resistance inside Little Creek
Speaker 1: Elementary School and Fairfax, Virginia. I'm Johnny, I'm Isabella, and
Speaker 1: I'm Tommy. We're in fourth grade and we have so
Speaker 1: much to discuss this week, including Principal Welsh's outrageous decision
Speaker 1: to shorten recess by fifteen minutes. This is not normal.
Speaker 1: We also have plenty more about Principal Welsh's efforts to
Speaker 1: build a wall between Little Creek Elementary and Santa Pueblo
Speaker 1: Middle School. Your parents tax dollars hard at work. Later
Speaker 1: in the pod, we have an interview with Miss Stone.
Speaker 1: She's a substitute teacher who we think should be the
Speaker 1: next principle of Little Creek Elementary School. She made a
Speaker 1: lot of ways last week when she let us have
Speaker 1: two snack times. So excited for that. Before we get
Speaker 1: going some housekeeping, we're recording a live episode of Pod
Speaker 1: Save Little Creek at Jackson's Night birthday party on Saturday.
Speaker 1: If you like to attend the taping, get your mom
Speaker 1: to R s v P to Jackson's mom. There's gonna
Speaker 1: be laser tag Tommy. We also have some news about
Speaker 1: our sister podcast. Yes, our sister podcast has a new
Speaker 1: interview with my sister. Her name is Victoria. She's in
Speaker 1: eighth grade and she's really mean to me. Check out
Speaker 1: Pod Save My Sister on iTunes. Also, this episode of
Speaker 1: Pod Saves Little Creek is bought to you by glue Apron.
Speaker 1: Glue delivered straight to your cubby hole. Are you tired
Speaker 1: of constantly running out of glue? I know I am.
Speaker 1: Glue Apron is your new source for all things glue, crazy, glue,
Speaker 1: whatever sment you name it. Last week I got an
Speaker 1: amazing glue stick from glue Apron. It's purple. I'm obsessed
Speaker 1: love glue Apron. I especially like their edible glue. I
Speaker 1: don't think any of their glue is edible. I have
Speaker 1: to go to bathroom glue apron. It's paste modernized. Let's
Speaker 1: get to the news. This week, Principal Welsh announced an
Speaker 1: escalation is shade war, banning the trade of all Pokemon cards.
Speaker 1: He said, quote, I'm calling for a total and complete
Speaker 1: shutdown of all snore lax ducks until we figure out
Speaker 1: what's going on. A few questions. First of all, can
Speaker 1: the principle do this? Absolutely not. He is way beyond
Speaker 1: his authority here. It's mind blowing. For years, the foundation
Speaker 1: of our elementary school can take two unmistakable truths. First,
Speaker 1: everybody needs a coot distraught, and second that free trade
Speaker 1: is essential to the health of this school. Isabella, I
Speaker 1: want to turn to you. Why aren't any teachers speaking
Speaker 1: up about this clear abusive power. Well? Did the teachers
Speaker 1: speak up when Principle Welch appointed Timmy Johnson Hall Martyr
Speaker 1: even though he's the biggest bully in fifth grade? Did
Speaker 1: the teacher speak up when he tried to ban all
Speaker 1: finger painting because one kid ate the paint again it
Speaker 1: looked like it was edible. We know this about the teachers.
Speaker 1: They are complicit. They are egotistical and they are Isosceles.
Speaker 1: Can I just say something? This is the principal who
Speaker 1: is stoking divisions. He's making us learn long division. Every
Speaker 1: phone has a calculator, and can I just say it? Now?
Speaker 1: They're thing there's no reason we should be learned to
Speaker 1: play the recorder. This is a Bologney instrument. Let's get
Speaker 1: back on track. I think we need to face the
Speaker 1: facts here. And this is unpleasant to admit, but the
Speaker 1: Principle is a fart face. This is the principle who
Speaker 1: has showed time and time again that he's a fart face,
Speaker 1: but all of his enablers are too afraid to say,
Speaker 1: Principle Welch is a fart face. It's almost like calling
Speaker 1: someone a fart face is worse than actually being a
Speaker 1: fart face. Speaking of fart faces, how is the Principal
Speaker 1: Welchi Soung got student of the month? You're talking about
Speaker 1: Principal Welsh Jr. Yeah, he doesn't even know what a
Speaker 1: fraction is, and all of a sudden he's doing morning
Speaker 1: announcements and getting straight a's. It's part of a larger
Speaker 1: pattern of corruption. I mean, why is it that Principle Welch.
Speaker 1: It's forcing us to learn cursive. No one writes cursive anymore.
Speaker 1: It's because Principal Welsh is a right supremacist. He's an
Speaker 1: out and out right supremacist. This is not normal. Let's
Speaker 1: all so not forget that Principal Welch has repeatedly committed adultery.
Speaker 1: And Tommy remind our listeners what adultery is. Adultery is
Speaker 1: when you ask an adult why they're doing something and
Speaker 1: they say, because I'm an adult and you aren't. I
Speaker 1: hate adultery. My dad always commits adultery When I ask
Speaker 1: why he gets to ice cream for dinner. My dad
Speaker 1: also committed adultery, and now I get to Christmas is Isabella.
Speaker 1: What could our listeners due to fight back against Principal Welsh.
Speaker 1: There are so many awesome organizations out there. You can
Speaker 1: go to vote Save Little Creek dot org for lists
Speaker 1: of opportunities. We are currently looking for volunteers to tp
Speaker 1: Principal Welch's office. That's a great event for a great cause.
Speaker 1: You should also check out our friends at Swing Left
Speaker 1: and how can our listeners find Swing Left on the playground.
Speaker 1: It's the swings on the left next to the Monkey Bars.
Speaker 1: Another great organization and a very fun swing. Okay, we'll
Speaker 1: be right back after this word from our sponsors. Great,
Speaker 1: I'm going to go to the party. POD Save Little
Speaker 1: Creek is brought to you by Progressive Mommy Insurance. Did
Speaker 1: you accidentally call your teacher Mommy? Did you start crying
Speaker 1: as everyone laughed at you? I've done that several times. Well, Tommy,
Speaker 1: you need Progressive Mommy Insurance, which can protect you in
Speaker 1: the case of a mommy accident. Progressive Mommy Insurance will
Speaker 1: tell other students you did actually save Mommy and that
Speaker 1: you were just crying because you had dusted your eye.
Speaker 1: Question what this work if I called Mr Thompson Dad
Speaker 1: and hypothetically peed my pants during the school talent show.
Speaker 1: Absolutely Progressive Mommy Insurance also covers dad accidents for no
Speaker 1: additional cost. Wow, where was this all of second grade?
Speaker 1: Progressive Mommy Insurance don't talk to your teacher without it? Hello,
Speaker 1: Pod Save Little Creek Elementary Listeners, I'm Tom Steyer. If
Speaker 1: you're like me, you're concerned about the direction of Little
Speaker 1: Creek Elementary School under Principal Welch. That's why I'm spending
Speaker 1: twelve million dollars of my own money on podcast ads
Speaker 1: to announce my candidacy for Principle of Little Creek Elementary.
Speaker 1: I support progressive school policies like more flavors of milk
Speaker 1: in the cafeteria and a band on dodgeball. Whether you're
Speaker 1: a third grader or a pe teacher, I'd appreciate your support.
Speaker 1: And now back to the pod. I guess today is
Speaker 1: someone that we believe should be the next Principle of
Speaker 1: Little Creek Elementary. She was a substitute teacher last week.
Speaker 1: Please welcome miss Stowed High kids this podcasting city. It
Speaker 1: was so cool. Did your parents are you kidding? My
Speaker 1: parents are so behind the times. They communicate via text message. So,
Speaker 1: miss Stone, you are an amazing substitute teacher. We were
Speaker 1: supposed to take a geography quiz. You let us play
Speaker 1: board games. We were supposed to learn long division. You
Speaker 1: let us watch Chicken Run. Let's start at the beginning.
Speaker 1: Why were you inspired to become sub Let's see I
Speaker 1: got fired from Old Navy for running in a legal
Speaker 1: casino in the fitting rooms. The next day I saw
Speaker 1: pop up at for a substitute teacher, Nasty to let
Speaker 1: makeouts dot Com and two days later, boom, I'm teaching
Speaker 1: fourth graders inspiring. Tell me, miss Stone, what would your
Speaker 1: first act as principal of Little Creek Elementary School? B hmm.
Speaker 1: I would probably turn the music room into an illegal casino. Okay,
Speaker 1: what else? I guess the performing arts theater. I would
Speaker 1: also talk to an illegal casino. We were hoping you
Speaker 1: had some ideas that would make the school better for us,
Speaker 1: the students. Okay, okay, okay, um. You know I've got
Speaker 1: problems with principal. Welch, we hear that. For example, why
Speaker 1: do you fourth graders have so much homework? Sing it sister?
Speaker 1: In fact, why you have to come to school at all?
Speaker 1: I'm loving this. You could make plenty of money as
Speaker 1: a blackjack dealer in my illegal casino. Okay, ms Stone,
Speaker 1: You've given us in our listeners a lot to think about.
Speaker 1: Thank you for coming on the pod. Thank you for
Speaker 1: having me. Do you validate parking? Parking is free? This
Speaker 1: is a public elementary school. Well then who did that
Speaker 1: pick hew? No. I think she could be the future
Speaker 1: of this elementary school. Yeah. I mean, I have some
Speaker 1: concerns about the illegal casino part of her platform, but
Speaker 1: there's no such thing as the perfect candidate for principle.
Speaker 1: This is not normal? What's not normal? Sorry my mom
Speaker 1: forgot to cut the cross off my p B and J.
Speaker 1: That's all for today's episode of Pod Dave Little Creek Elementary.
Speaker 1: Be sure to tune in next week when we will
Speaker 1: have an interview with Mr Weaver. He is another candidate
Speaker 1: for principal who is running on a promise of Coody
Speaker 1: shots for all. No students should go into debt because
Speaker 1: they cannot afford a Coody shot. That's next week on
Speaker 1: Pod Save Low Creek Elementary. Until then, we hope to
Speaker 1: see what Jackson's birthday party this Saturday. Let's unfudge this
Speaker 1: Elementary school. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.