WEBVTT - Pod Save Little Creek Elementary

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to Comedy Central. What can you do to

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<v Speaker 1>fight back against the injustices of today? Obviously, there's no

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<v Speaker 1>better activism than listening to a podcast. It's time to

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<v Speaker 1>join the resistance against a tyrannical, divisive elementary school principle.

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<v Speaker 1>Along with your hosts, Johnny, Tommy, and Isabelle, this is

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<v Speaker 1>Pod Save Little Creek Elementary. Hello, and welcome to another

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<v Speaker 1>episode of Pod Save Little Creek Elementary, the five and

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<v Speaker 1>nineteen podcast in our growing network. We are the podcast

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<v Speaker 1>by the resistance and for the resistance inside Little Creek

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<v Speaker 1>Elementary School and Fairfax, Virginia. I'm Johnny, I'm Isabella, and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Tommy. We're in fourth grade and we have so

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<v Speaker 1>much to discuss this week, including Principal Welsh's outrageous decision

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<v Speaker 1>to shorten recess by fifteen minutes. This is not normal.

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<v Speaker 1>We also have plenty more about Principal Welsh's efforts to

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<v Speaker 1>build a wall between Little Creek Elementary and Santa Pueblo

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<v Speaker 1>Middle School. Your parents tax dollars hard at work. Later

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<v Speaker 1>in the pod, we have an interview with Miss Stone.

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<v Speaker 1>She's a substitute teacher who we think should be the

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<v Speaker 1>next principle of Little Creek Elementary School. She made a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of ways last week when she let us have

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<v Speaker 1>two snack times. So excited for that. Before we get

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<v Speaker 1>going some housekeeping, we're recording a live episode of Pod

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<v Speaker 1>Save Little Creek at Jackson's Night birthday party on Saturday.

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<v Speaker 1>If you like to attend the taping, get your mom

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<v Speaker 1>to R s v P to Jackson's mom. There's gonna

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<v Speaker 1>be laser tag Tommy. We also have some news about

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<v Speaker 1>our sister podcast. Yes, our sister podcast has a new

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<v Speaker 1>interview with my sister. Her name is Victoria. She's in

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<v Speaker 1>eighth grade and she's really mean to me. Check out

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<v Speaker 1>Pod Save My Sister on iTunes. Also, this episode of

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<v Speaker 1>Pod Saves Little Creek is bought to you by glue Apron.

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<v Speaker 1>Glue delivered straight to your cubby hole. Are you tired

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<v Speaker 1>Glue Apron is your new source for all things glue, crazy, glue,

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<v Speaker 1>whatever sment you name it. Last week I got an

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<v Speaker 1>amazing glue stick from glue Apron. It's purple. I'm obsessed

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<v Speaker 1>love glue Apron. I especially like their edible glue. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't think any of their glue is edible. I have

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<v Speaker 1>to go to bathroom glue apron. It's paste modernized. Let's

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<v Speaker 1>get to the news. This week, Principal Welsh announced an

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<v Speaker 1>escalation is shade war, banning the trade of all Pokemon cards.

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<v Speaker 1>He said, quote, I'm calling for a total and complete

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<v Speaker 1>shutdown of all snore lax ducks until we figure out

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<v Speaker 1>what's going on. A few questions. First of all, can

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<v Speaker 1>the principle do this? Absolutely not. He is way beyond

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<v Speaker 1>his authority here. It's mind blowing. For years, the foundation

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<v Speaker 1>of our elementary school can take two unmistakable truths. First,

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<v Speaker 1>everybody needs a coot distraught, and second that free trade

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<v Speaker 1>is essential to the health of this school. Isabella, I

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<v Speaker 1>want to turn to you. Why aren't any teachers speaking

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<v Speaker 1>up about this clear abusive power. Well? Did the teachers

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<v Speaker 1>speak up when Principle Welch appointed Timmy Johnson Hall Martyr

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<v Speaker 1>even though he's the biggest bully in fifth grade? Did

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<v Speaker 1>the teacher speak up when he tried to ban all

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<v Speaker 1>finger painting because one kid ate the paint again it

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<v Speaker 1>looked like it was edible. We know this about the teachers.

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<v Speaker 1>They are complicit. They are egotistical and they are Isosceles.

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<v Speaker 1>Can I just say something? This is the principal who

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<v Speaker 1>is stoking divisions. He's making us learn long division. Every

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<v Speaker 1>phone has a calculator, and can I just say it? Now?

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<v Speaker 1>They're thing there's no reason we should be learned to

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<v Speaker 1>play the recorder. This is a Bologney instrument. Let's get

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<v Speaker 1>back on track. I think we need to face the

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<v Speaker 1>facts here. And this is unpleasant to admit, but the

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<v Speaker 1>Principle is a fart face. This is the principle who

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<v Speaker 1>has showed time and time again that he's a fart face,

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<v Speaker 1>but all of his enablers are too afraid to say,

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<v Speaker 1>Principle Welch is a fart face. It's almost like calling

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<v Speaker 1>someone a fart face is worse than actually being a

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<v Speaker 1>fart face. Speaking of fart faces, how is the Principal

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<v Speaker 1>Welchi Soung got student of the month? You're talking about

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<v Speaker 1>Principal Welsh Jr. Yeah, he doesn't even know what a

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<v Speaker 1>fraction is, and all of a sudden he's doing morning

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<v Speaker 1>announcements and getting straight a's. It's part of a larger

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<v Speaker 1>pattern of corruption. I mean, why is it that Principle Welch.

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<v Speaker 1>It's forcing us to learn cursive. No one writes cursive anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>It's because Principal Welsh is a right supremacist. He's an

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<v Speaker 1>out and out right supremacist. This is not normal. Let's

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<v Speaker 1>all so not forget that Principal Welch has repeatedly committed adultery.

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<v Speaker 1>And Tommy remind our listeners what adultery is. Adultery is

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<v Speaker 1>when you ask an adult why they're doing something and

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<v Speaker 1>they say, because I'm an adult and you aren't. I

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<v Speaker 1>hate adultery. My dad always commits adultery When I ask

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<v Speaker 1>why he gets to ice cream for dinner. My dad

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<v Speaker 1>also committed adultery, and now I get to Christmas is Isabella.

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<v Speaker 1>What could our listeners due to fight back against Principal Welsh.

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<v Speaker 1>There are so many awesome organizations out there. You can

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<v Speaker 1>go to vote Save Little Creek dot org for lists

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<v Speaker 1>of opportunities. We are currently looking for volunteers to tp

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<v Speaker 1>Principal Welch's office. That's a great event for a great cause.

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<v Speaker 1>You should also check out our friends at Swing Left

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<v Speaker 1>and how can our listeners find Swing Left on the playground.

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<v Speaker 1>It's the swings on the left next to the Monkey Bars.

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<v Speaker 1>Another great organization and a very fun swing. Okay, we'll

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<v Speaker 1>be right back after this word from our sponsors. Great,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to go to the party. POD Save Little

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<v Speaker 1>Creek is brought to you by Progressive Mommy Insurance. Did

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<v Speaker 1>you accidentally call your teacher Mommy? Did you start crying

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<v Speaker 1>as everyone laughed at you? I've done that several times. Well, Tommy,

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<v Speaker 1>you need Progressive Mommy Insurance, which can protect you in

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<v Speaker 1>the case of a mommy accident. Progressive Mommy Insurance will

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<v Speaker 1>tell other students you did actually save Mommy and that

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<v Speaker 1>you were just crying because you had dusted your eye.

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<v Speaker 1>Question what this work if I called Mr Thompson Dad

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<v Speaker 1>and hypothetically peed my pants during the school talent show.

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely Progressive Mommy Insurance also covers dad accidents for no

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<v Speaker 1>additional cost. Wow, where was this all of second grade?

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<v Speaker 1>Progressive Mommy Insurance don't talk to your teacher without it? Hello,

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<v Speaker 1>Pod Save Little Creek Elementary Listeners, I'm Tom Steyer. If

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<v Speaker 1>you're like me, you're concerned about the direction of Little

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<v Speaker 1>Creek Elementary School under Principal Welch. That's why I'm spending

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<v Speaker 1>twelve million dollars of my own money on podcast ads

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<v Speaker 1>to announce my candidacy for Principle of Little Creek Elementary.

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<v Speaker 1>I support progressive school policies like more flavors of milk

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<v Speaker 1>in the cafeteria and a band on dodgeball. Whether you're

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<v Speaker 1>a third grader or a pe teacher, I'd appreciate your support.

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<v Speaker 1>And now back to the pod. I guess today is

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<v Speaker 1>someone that we believe should be the next Principle of

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<v Speaker 1>Little Creek Elementary. She was a substitute teacher last week.

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<v Speaker 1>Please welcome miss Stowed High kids this podcasting city. It

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<v Speaker 1>was so cool. Did your parents are you kidding? My

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<v Speaker 1>parents are so behind the times. They communicate via text message. So,

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<v Speaker 1>miss Stone, you are an amazing substitute teacher. We were

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<v Speaker 1>supposed to take a geography quiz. You let us play

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<v Speaker 1>board games. We were supposed to learn long division. You

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<v Speaker 1>let us watch Chicken Run. Let's start at the beginning.

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<v Speaker 1>Why were you inspired to become sub Let's see I

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<v Speaker 1>got fired from Old Navy for running in a legal

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<v Speaker 1>casino in the fitting rooms. The next day I saw

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<v Speaker 1>pop up at for a substitute teacher, Nasty to let

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<v Speaker 1>makeouts dot Com and two days later, boom, I'm teaching

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<v Speaker 1>fourth graders inspiring. Tell me, miss Stone, what would your

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<v Speaker 1>first act as principal of Little Creek Elementary School? B hmm.

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<v Speaker 1>I would probably turn the music room into an illegal casino. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>what else? I guess the performing arts theater. I would

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<v Speaker 1>also talk to an illegal casino. We were hoping you

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<v Speaker 1>had some ideas that would make the school better for us,

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<v Speaker 1>the students. Okay, okay, okay, um. You know I've got

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<v Speaker 1>problems with principal. Welch, we hear that. For example, why

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<v Speaker 1>do you fourth graders have so much homework? Sing it sister?

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<v Speaker 1>In fact, why you have to come to school at all?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm loving this. You could make plenty of money as

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<v Speaker 1>a blackjack dealer in my illegal casino. Okay, ms Stone,

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<v Speaker 1>You've given us in our listeners a lot to think about.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you for coming on the pod. Thank you for

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<v Speaker 1>having me. Do you validate parking? Parking is free? This

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<v Speaker 1>is a public elementary school. Well then who did that

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<v Speaker 1>pick hew? No. I think she could be the future

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<v Speaker 1>of this elementary school. Yeah. I mean, I have some

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<v Speaker 1>concerns about the illegal casino part of her platform, but

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<v Speaker 1>there's no such thing as the perfect candidate for principle.

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<v Speaker 1>This is not normal? What's not normal? Sorry my mom

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<v Speaker 1>forgot to cut the cross off my p B and J.

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<v Speaker 1>That's all for today's episode of Pod Dave Little Creek Elementary.

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<v Speaker 1>Be sure to tune in next week when we will

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<v Speaker 1>have an interview with Mr Weaver. He is another candidate

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<v Speaker 1>for principal who is running on a promise of Coody

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<v Speaker 1>shots for all. No students should go into debt because

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<v Speaker 1>they cannot afford a Coody shot. That's next week on

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<v Speaker 1>Pod Save Low Creek Elementary. Until then, we hope to

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<v Speaker 1>see what Jackson's birthday party this Saturday. Let's unfudge this

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<v Speaker 1>Elementary school. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.