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Speaker 1: Motherfucking mini e ai Sel Mini episode. Motherfucking Mini e

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Speaker 1: a Sel.

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Speaker 2: Just give me the light and past the drove. What's

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Speaker 2: another bottle of mode? Welcome Little Mama's and gentiles alike

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Speaker 2: to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the

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Speaker 2: podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of black

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Speaker 2: conspiracy theories and we work to prove the conspiracies of

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Speaker 2: you the listeners. That's right, y'all, it's a motherfucking mini episode.

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Speaker 2: And come on, Champaul he had his script designation.

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Speaker 3: Or SA Paul. Yeah, Paul, he had it.

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Speaker 2: Man, come on, I loved it. You know what?

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Speaker 3: It was greaty huh? Was Shampaul? I think in a

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Speaker 3: beautiful way. Never made it about his attractiveness or sort

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Speaker 3: of like how he looked it. Truly was just about

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Speaker 3: Jamaican pseudo Jamaican music.

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Speaker 2: That was. That was an ass and big.

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Speaker 3: Old asses shaking and and we we never really gave

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Speaker 3: a fuck about Shampaul the human. We just liked Shampaul's

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Speaker 3: music and a big old buds.

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Speaker 2: It's kind of great. He was almost just like a

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Speaker 2: vessel to the islands more so than he was a person.

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Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, it's not I don't know anything about Shampaul.

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Speaker 2: I don't know his racial makeup.

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Speaker 3: Honestly, no idea.

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Speaker 2: And frankly, let's I know he had braids.

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Speaker 3: I know he had braids, and now I don't think

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Speaker 3: he has braids anymore. But if he had him again,

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't be surprised. Uh, let's play this game. How

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Speaker 3: old do you think Shampaul is?

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Speaker 2: He exists outside of time.

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Speaker 3: That's what I wonder.

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Speaker 2: The Cool three said, keep young.

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Speaker 3: Me, chicken up clock.

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Speaker 2: I know how he was when he came out, That's

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Speaker 2: what I'm saying. Man, I don't know anything about any hadids.

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Speaker 3: He has so many hits. If you told me Sean

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Speaker 3: Paul was sixty five years old, I'd be like, you're

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Speaker 3: absolutely correct. If you told me Champaul was twenty eight

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Speaker 3: years old, I'd be like, that's possible. That's not out

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Speaker 3: of the realm of possibility.

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Speaker 2: I also don't know. Is it like a shaggy sitution?

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Speaker 2: Is he from Jamaica?

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Speaker 3: No clue, man, no idea, he.

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Speaker 2: Says, I know he seems familiar with the culture.

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Speaker 3: Okay, let's let's answer some questions. Sean Paul drum Roll

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Speaker 3: is fifty one years old and now that seems fair.

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Speaker 3: His real name is Sean Paul Ryan Francis Enriquez Od.

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Speaker 3: He's a Jamaican rapper and singer who's regarded as one

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Speaker 3: of dance hall and reggae's most prolific artists of all time.

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Speaker 3: And he's been married since twenty twelve. His nationality is Jamaican.

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Speaker 3: He's only got two children. Hey, and yeah, he just

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Speaker 3: seems like a decent man who made good old booty

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Speaker 3: shaggy music. There's not a lot of his early life.

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Speaker 3: He grew up in Kingston. His mother was a painter,

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Speaker 3: and his end of Chinese Jamaican descent and his Portuguese

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Speaker 3: paternal great grandfather was a Sephardic Jew and so his

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Speaker 3: wow immigrated.

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Speaker 2: So people you would think would get on it. What

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Speaker 2: do you mean, Like if I was Chinese, I'd be

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Speaker 2: claiming Sean Paul.

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Speaker 3: Oh, you think that they should be like very emphatically

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Speaker 3: big Sean Paul fans.

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Speaker 2: He's a Chinese reggae man.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think that's maybe part of the trouble

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Speaker 3: is like the Chinese probably don't know how to prove

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Speaker 3: that that's their you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: Well, there's a there's an established there's Chinese Jamaican p.

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Speaker 3: There's a lot of Chinese Jamaican people for sure, But

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Speaker 3: but I don't know that they're a very vocal party

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Speaker 3: of Jamaica, if that makes sense. Like I've never heard

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Speaker 3: how I've never heard anything about like their political leanings

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Speaker 3: or or what they got going on, other than that

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Speaker 3: they lived there and sort of talk very Jamaican, which

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Speaker 3: I think is how they prefer. I refer to it,

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Speaker 3: y'all talk at Jamaican, right. Yeah, His paternal great grandfather

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Speaker 3: sephardik Jew who immigrated from Portugal to Jamaica in the

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Speaker 3: seventeenth century, while his paternal grandmother was Afro Jamaican, so

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Speaker 3: he had a black a black great grandmother and a

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Speaker 3: Sephardic Portuguese great grandfather. And then they somehow got a

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Speaker 3: little Chinese mixed in there. And now Seanna Paul.

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Speaker 2: Man, they've been on the island. So he's Jamaican for real.

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Speaker 3: He's one of the founding members of Jamaica.

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Speaker 2: You know what I always you know what I always wonder

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Speaker 2: about Sean Paul. How deep is it like do Jamaicans

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Speaker 2: also love Sean Paul?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 2: Or is like being like or it's just like being like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I love country music. I love Shanaia Twine and people.

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Speaker 3: Are like, yeah, is he like cookie cutter sort of

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Speaker 3: entry level Jamaican music, or yeah there is the island

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Speaker 3: proud of what he did for them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I wonder because I do you like dance all?

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Speaker 2: I like dance.

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Speaker 3: I like dance all. I liked it especially during the

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Speaker 3: era of the Champaul, the Beanie Man, the Elephant Man,

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Speaker 3: you know what I mean, like like, yeah, there was

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Speaker 3: like a period where it was really hot in our

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Speaker 3: like sort of American music. That's when I like, I

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Speaker 3: don't think I like keeping up with the new versions

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Speaker 3: of dance all.

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Speaker 2: And what's going on now, like when did oh come out?

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Speaker 3: Oh I feel like twenty m damn twenty ten.

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Speaker 2: That was big? Or man, this is even embarrassing. I

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Speaker 2: had I had a Booju bent on ringtone once. Oh okay,

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Speaker 2: it is wildly inapproach yourself in four different ways, and

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Speaker 2: that's the come on. I had that Jamster plan and

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Speaker 2: I was like, let me get.

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Speaker 3: I used to scramble to put a new ring tone on.

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Speaker 2: Ooh, you had to have ringtone that not everybody had.

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Speaker 2: It was it was hard. People don't realize the difficulty

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Speaker 2: of picking out what was your best ring tone? Damn.

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Speaker 3: I think I knew early, and maybe this is how

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Speaker 3: I got into comedy. I knew that funny ringtones were

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Speaker 3: the best avenue. That's what I was I was almost doing.

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Speaker 3: I think by the time I was like in the

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Speaker 3: ringtone game, I was doing like weird memes and like

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Speaker 3: quotes and ship for ring tones more than like so

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Speaker 3: like songs. So I don't even remember what I thought

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Speaker 3: was funny back then, but I was doing funny stuff

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Speaker 3: that's so much smarter than me. And then sometimes I

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Speaker 3: do remember I used to do uh, I Want to

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Speaker 3: Be Your Man by Zap and Roger.

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Speaker 2: That was like, a that's also good because it's classic.

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Speaker 2: That's a good beat. Yeah, I was not. I was

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Speaker 2: not as enlightened as you.

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Speaker 3: What were you doing?

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Speaker 2: I think the best was that Bouju banton one, but

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Speaker 2: it was really weird, and nobody else that I was

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Speaker 2: hanging with like reggae, so people nobody heard it was

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Speaker 2: like is that what's your phone? What's your phone? Yelling

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Speaker 2: like a rocky Jamaican time Laid the Rest song? Have

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Speaker 2: you ever heard that song? It's like not super rhythmic.

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Speaker 2: He's it's like yelling. He's like, did I'm yes, I'd

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Speaker 2: be like, oh shit, my mom's calling.

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Speaker 3: I was like, it feels like it would get me

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Speaker 3: so much anxiety every time my phone rang. I don't

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Speaker 3: need that kind of stress.

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Speaker 2: He says, there's no life being nowhere style. I know that.

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Speaker 2: He says, up bad, it's crazy, it's an insane thing.

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Speaker 2: And then my second best one, uh probably popping my

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Speaker 2: collar by three six.

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Speaker 3: Mafia that that's not bad.

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Speaker 2: It's a pretty decent pick and nobody had it. Really.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we're calling upon you because, uh, we have we

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Speaker 4: have new merch.

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Speaker 5: We have very exciting merch that we are now selling

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Speaker 5: and it's it's fucking great.

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Speaker 3: We love it so much.

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Speaker 2: Just sleek, it's sexy on.

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Speaker 5: You want to tell them what we have?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we have three different types of hats, which is

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Speaker 2: really fun. We have a two tone hat, an alien

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Speaker 2: dad hat, the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then

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Speaker 2: we have the enamel pin with an alien who has

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Speaker 2: a koofie on it since my mama told me. And

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Speaker 2: then we have t shirts that say proud little Mama,

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Speaker 2: which is who you are.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, you can buy the merch now, go to my

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Speaker 5: mama told me dot merch table dot com. It's a

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Speaker 5: brand new name, but it's the same old merch and

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Speaker 5: we would love for you to get some if you

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Speaker 5: haven't got it already, and we want you to have

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Speaker 5: all the sweet stuff, so get it.

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Speaker 2: I always wished that. I remember, this is embarrassing. I

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Speaker 2: remember at one point buying a pretty ricky ring tone

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Speaker 2: and even knowing I was like, nobody's gonna this isn't

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Speaker 2: gonna work.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, nobody like.

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Speaker 2: I bought it and I didn't implement it.

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Speaker 3: Fuck, You're like, this is a mistake, this is this

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Speaker 3: is I'm gonna I'm gonna have to bury somewhere in

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Speaker 3: the field.

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Speaker 2: I'm just gonna eat it. I just, I just I

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Speaker 2: wish I was. I think I could pull pretty ricky

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Speaker 2: right now, but in O six I ain't have it

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Speaker 2: like that.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna say this, and I think that that maybe

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Speaker 3: this is a little bit controversial. Certainly the powers that

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Speaker 3: be will not agree with me, but I think that

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Speaker 3: the government should have to pay us back for ring tones.

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Speaker 3: I think that that the go on. I think that

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Speaker 3: we've spent I've spent hundreds of dollars on on ring

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Speaker 3: tones that I not only don't have access to anymore,

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Speaker 3: but couldn't use even if I did. Right that, Like

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Speaker 3: literally they were snippets of songs that I was meant

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Speaker 3: to put on my phone and now I can't put

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Speaker 3: them on my phone. And even if I could put

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Speaker 3: them on my phone, there's a social sort of like

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Speaker 3: unacceptable aceptibility inside of it that like we are owed

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Speaker 3: some version of dare I say reconciliation for for THEO

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Speaker 3: This is the reparations that we that we are old, frankly,

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Speaker 3: and we're not going to get the reparations because of

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Speaker 3: being black in America, but certainly as purchases or purchasers

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Speaker 3: of ringtones that we can't use, we are owed something.

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Speaker 2: Give me my money back for purchasing kiss Me through

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Speaker 2: the phone's. I didn't know it was polyphonic, that it

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Speaker 2: was the real tone. That's the other thing. Did you

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Speaker 2: ever do that?

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Speaker 3: I think, I think Langston, you finally did it. You

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Speaker 3: found the perfect ringtone. When Bump Bump Bump comes on,

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Speaker 3: everybody is going to stewing. The ladies around you are

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Speaker 3: going to become immediately wet, and then it comes on me,

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Speaker 3: and then you just got to explain to your mom

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Speaker 3: why the bill is different this month because you wanted

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Speaker 3: to impress some some fucking high school girls.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you gotta lie about it. I don't know. Mobiles trip,

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Speaker 2: that's crazy.

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Speaker 3: They charged you, that's crazy. We gotta look good at that.

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Speaker 2: But mean while you got that stupid Gummy Bear song

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Speaker 2: or whatever. Yeah, you know they say people got rich

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Speaker 2: off those Ringtones too.

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Speaker 3: That's what Soldier Boy says, that that's where he made it.

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Speaker 3: He was in the Ringtones.

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Speaker 2: I don't you. He did his best work in the

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Speaker 2: ring Tones.

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Speaker 3: I'm a big Soldier Boy fan, so I'm not gonna

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Speaker 3: I'm not gonna be smirch his name.

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Speaker 2: I'm not besmirching. I'm saying that's what I'm not perspecting.

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Speaker 2: I think.

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Speaker 3: I think he did beautiful work in all forms of

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Speaker 3: artistry that he's committed to, including making Nintendo games and

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Speaker 3: shoot shot shoes. I think he killed people good. I

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Speaker 3: think God, Yeah, I think I'm just a big fan.

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Speaker 2: All right, all right, that's cool.

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry to get.

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Speaker 2: No, it's okay, it's okay. Your music tastes are vast

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Speaker 2: and strange.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they Draco is one of those the things I

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Speaker 3: have a sweet taste for.

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Speaker 2: From Big Draco to Bruno Mars to shere.

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Speaker 3: Khan, come on, all evil.

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Speaker 2: I was so mad. I ran that ship by my

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Speaker 2: girl yesterday and she was like, she was like in

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Speaker 2: agreeance with you. It made me very angry.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, nice lady. I like her.

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Speaker 2: Wow, she's not her last legs. No, she I love it.

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Speaker 2: She's great. Okay, full disclosure, we did not read a

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Speaker 2: listener's email, So what you're gonna assume me? Fucking sue me?

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Speaker 2: Sue legs and I ain't got it like that. But

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Speaker 2: either way, we did a deep dive on Sean Paul

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Speaker 2: and to me that is its conspiracy in and of itself,

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Speaker 2: like skin Jamaican man, what's going on? Plus we deserve

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Speaker 2: reparations for past ringstones. So you know here it is

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Speaker 2: mini episodes, Bory. You want to tell them where they

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00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:19,120
Speaker 2: can find you? Cool got joke Sati seven on Instagram

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Speaker 2: to come to the Comedy Store Sunday, May fifth and

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Speaker 2: seven for our show for the Netflix is a Joke Festival.

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Speaker 5: And as always you can follow me at Langston Kerrman

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Speaker 5: on all the social media and and yes, please come

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00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:35,560
Speaker 5: to that live show, and more importantly, if you want

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00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,320
Speaker 5: to send us your own drops, if you want to

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Speaker 5: send us your own conspiracy theories, send it all to

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Speaker 5: Mamma pod at gmail dot com. Go buy merch and

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Speaker 5: Mamama told me dot merch table dot com. It's a

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Speaker 5: brand new name, but it's the same old merch and

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00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:52,800
Speaker 5: we would love for you to get some if you

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Speaker 5: haven't got it already. And as always, like subscribe, do

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Speaker 5: whatever things you need to do to help the algorithm serve. Uh,

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Speaker 5: that's the whole shebang.

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Speaker 2: Bye bitch, motherfucking Mini ever Sew.

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Speaker 1: Mini episode, motherfucking Mini ever Sew, motherfucking Mini ever Sew

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Speaker 1: Mini Episode, Moll the fucking Mini ever sw