1 00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:09,520 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning, 2 00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:16,840 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:21,520 Speaker 1: tip is to stay in touch. While social media makes 4 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:24,119 Speaker 1: it easy to believe we are still in contact with 5 00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:29,000 Speaker 1: people from the past, more personal approaches are better for 6 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:36,720 Speaker 1: truly keeping a relationship strong. Modern communication is often strange. 7 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,440 Speaker 1: There are a few folks who I have met once 8 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:42,000 Speaker 1: or twice over the years, and I have followed them 9 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:45,239 Speaker 1: on social media as you do, and I feel like 10 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:48,360 Speaker 1: we have stayed in touch. But then when I bother 11 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:52,600 Speaker 1: to look back, I see it has been years since 12 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:56,240 Speaker 1: the last email we have sent to each other. I 13 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:59,440 Speaker 1: wouldn't fault them for not remembering who on earth I 14 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:03,880 Speaker 1: was if all I'm doing is liking their posts. But 15 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:06,880 Speaker 1: what's funny about that is that reading all of their 16 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:11,680 Speaker 1: posts and such took a reasonable amount of time. It's 17 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:17,120 Speaker 1: just that that time wasn't actually invested in building the relationship. 18 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:22,320 Speaker 1: Since it is easy to not stay in touch, it 19 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:25,840 Speaker 1: helps to be a bit more systematic about it. No, 20 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:29,720 Speaker 1: you don't have to be too systematic. Perhaps you have 21 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,920 Speaker 1: folks in your life who unfailingly contact you. At the 22 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 1: beginning of January the beginning of April, the beginning of July, 23 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:41,319 Speaker 1: and so forth. What's happened is they have probably created 24 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:44,679 Speaker 1: a schedule to reach out to everyone they know every 25 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:48,080 Speaker 1: ninety days, and that happens to be when your date 26 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:52,120 Speaker 1: comes up. It is kind of funny. But on the 27 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:56,520 Speaker 1: other hand, I will say that you probably remember these 28 00:01:56,560 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 1: people's names. That's more than we can say for most 29 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:05,560 Speaker 1: of us. To perhaps feel a bit more authentic about 30 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:08,800 Speaker 1: the process, it's best to just carve out some time 31 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:13,040 Speaker 1: every week or ideally each day to reach out to people. 32 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:16,880 Speaker 1: My friend Molly Beck wrote a book about doing just that. 33 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:22,440 Speaker 1: It's called reach Out, and each weekday she reaches out 34 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:26,679 Speaker 1: to one new person. Not all of these messages come 35 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:31,160 Speaker 1: to anything, but some do. I was the target of 36 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:34,760 Speaker 1: a reach out in twenty thirteen and we have stayed 37 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:38,440 Speaker 1: in touch ever since. She was recently a guest on 38 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:42,760 Speaker 1: my other podcast, Best of Both Worlds. But it's not 39 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:46,320 Speaker 1: just about reaching out to new people. I think Molly 40 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:48,720 Speaker 1: would tell you that reaching out in order to stay 41 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:52,880 Speaker 1: in touch with existing contacts is one of the most 42 00:02:52,919 --> 00:02:58,079 Speaker 1: efficient ways to do anything in this world. For instance, 43 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:03,399 Speaker 1: let's say you need to hire someone, especially if it's 44 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,560 Speaker 1: for the sort of job that people don't spend their 45 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 1: whole lives doing. You probably have a wide pool of 46 00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:12,239 Speaker 1: people you know who have worked with you in the past. 47 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:16,320 Speaker 1: If you have stayed in touch. That's how you can 48 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:19,280 Speaker 1: find someone you liked who might want to come back 49 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:22,560 Speaker 1: for a while. If you need to learn about a 50 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:24,720 Speaker 1: new topic or find a friend in a new town, 51 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:28,160 Speaker 1: the folks you've met in the past will be there 52 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:33,840 Speaker 1: to help out if you stay in touch. One way 53 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:37,080 Speaker 1: to stay in touch might be to use social media strategically. 54 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 1: Follow people as you normally would, but whenever you see 55 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:47,040 Speaker 1: someone post something interesting, write a personal note to them 56 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:50,480 Speaker 1: about it. It will stand out more than it would 57 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:55,120 Speaker 1: in a slew of comments and likes. Occasionally scroll through 58 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:58,880 Speaker 1: lists of people you follow. If you haven't heard from 59 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:01,720 Speaker 1: someone in a while, and especially if they haven't been 60 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:04,800 Speaker 1: posting much, reach out to see what they are up to. 61 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:08,680 Speaker 1: Sometimes it helps to have a reason to make this 62 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:11,560 Speaker 1: feel authentic, but I am sure you can come up 63 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:15,480 Speaker 1: with one if you need to. Hey, I just saw 64 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:17,880 Speaker 1: John from our dorm last week and it reminded me 65 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:22,120 Speaker 1: to say hello. Or I just went to Puerto Rico 66 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,880 Speaker 1: last month and I remembered that trip you took there 67 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:29,479 Speaker 1: when we were first working together. This is not rocket science. 68 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:34,600 Speaker 1: You can do this if it helps you stay accountable. 69 00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:37,640 Speaker 1: You can set this as a daily task, as Molly 70 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,800 Speaker 1: recommends doing, or write down the names of folks you've 71 00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:44,360 Speaker 1: reached out to in a notebook. Make sure that some 72 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:49,560 Speaker 1: of your messages aren't just responses. You are initiating outgoing 73 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:56,320 Speaker 1: ones two and don't expect miracles overnight from just staying 74 00:04:56,400 --> 00:05:00,040 Speaker 1: in touch. It helps to begin this discipline. When you 75 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:05,839 Speaker 1: don't actually need anything, you are just being sociable. You 76 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:10,680 Speaker 1: are just expressing interest in other people's lives. But when 77 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:14,920 Speaker 1: you do need something, you are not realizing that. Again, 78 00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:17,839 Speaker 1: you haven't reached out to someone in six years, and 79 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:25,359 Speaker 1: by the way, they've closed that mailbox. Whoops. In the meantime, 80 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:30,800 Speaker 1: this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making 81 00:05:30,839 --> 00:05:40,839 Speaker 1: the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to 82 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:43,839 Speaker 1: hear from you. You can send me your tips, your questions, 83 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:47,680 Speaker 1: or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, 84 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:52,599 Speaker 1: and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod that's b E the 85 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:57,320 Speaker 1: number four then Breakfast Pod. You can also shoot me 86 00:05:57,320 --> 00:06:01,680 Speaker 1: an email at Before Breakfast Podcast at iHeartMedia dot Com 87 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:04,240 Speaker 1: that before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters, 88 00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:06,960 Speaker 1: thanks so much, should I look forward to staying in touch. 89 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:16,839 Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts 90 00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:21,760 Speaker 1: from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever 91 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:25,640 Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.