1 00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:03,000 Speaker 1: Hi, everyone. We wanted to let you know that this 2 00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:07,000 Speaker 1: is our final episode of season four and Caroline Borega's story, 3 00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:10,879 Speaker 1: But don't worry, there's a lot more Betrayal coming your way. 4 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:13,760 Speaker 1: We will be returning on Thursday, August seventh with a 5 00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:17,600 Speaker 1: brand new season of Betrayal Weekly. Be sure to subscribe 6 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,360 Speaker 1: to make sure you never miss an episode, and there's 7 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:24,000 Speaker 1: more Betrayal news. If Betrayal is your must listen, you 8 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:28,040 Speaker 1: should subscribe to Beyond Betrayal, our new substack community. It's 9 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:31,280 Speaker 1: free to join impact with the extras we can't squeeze 10 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:35,040 Speaker 1: into the show. Our team shares behind the scenes conversations, 11 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:38,920 Speaker 1: never before seen videos, and personal essays from the survivors 12 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:43,159 Speaker 1: you've met on the series, including Caroline, Stacey, Ashley, and Me. 13 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:47,240 Speaker 1: Upgraded members can even jump into live chats with us. 14 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:50,360 Speaker 1: Ready to dig deeper, click the link in the show 15 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:54,400 Speaker 1: notes or visit Betrayal dot substack dot com, hit subscribe 16 00:00:54,480 --> 00:01:00,360 Speaker 1: and join for free today. Okay, now onto the show. 17 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:05,400 Speaker 2: There was a woman whose husband was eventually arrested for 18 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:10,640 Speaker 2: sexually abusing children in a school, and the police found 19 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:14,559 Speaker 2: all these stacks of child pornography sitting around his living 20 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 2: room in plain sight, and they interviewed his wife and 21 00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:24,720 Speaker 2: she said she did not see them. She could have 22 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:39,800 Speaker 2: her eyes on them and not see them. 23 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:43,679 Speaker 1: I'm Andre Gunning and this is Betrayal, Season four, Episode 24 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:54,400 Speaker 1: ten Courage. In our last episode, we closed the book 25 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:58,360 Speaker 1: on Caroline's story, but before we end our season, we 26 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:02,240 Speaker 1: wanted to dive deeper in to one aspect of Caroline's 27 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:03,640 Speaker 1: healing journey. 28 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:08,320 Speaker 3: Within a day of Joel's disclosure, I was seeking therapeutic 29 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:12,040 Speaker 3: intervention for myself and my kids, and I am grateful 30 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:15,200 Speaker 3: for that therapist. She definitely was there for crisis intervention. 31 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:21,639 Speaker 3: That being said, though there was never this term betrayal trauma, 32 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:27,000 Speaker 3: I never heard the term and our duration of therapy. 33 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:33,520 Speaker 3: I'm not faulting her, but I hadn't had anyone actually 34 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:39,280 Speaker 3: walk me through the emotions and that how I was 35 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:45,440 Speaker 3: feeling was actually a normal part of being betrayed. The 36 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:50,480 Speaker 3: reason why I wrote to the podcast was because listening 37 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:54,480 Speaker 3: to season one driving with my daughter was life changing. 38 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:57,480 Speaker 1: Caroline was on a road trip with Nicole when they 39 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:01,040 Speaker 1: came across our first season of Betrayal. This was the 40 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:05,240 Speaker 1: first time either of them heard a professional speaking about betrayal. Trauma, 41 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:06,720 Speaker 1: and I. 42 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:10,800 Speaker 3: Must have played that episode a dozen times. It was 43 00:03:10,919 --> 00:03:14,639 Speaker 3: just a description that was so empowering and so relatable, 44 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:17,520 Speaker 3: and I just wanted to continue to have that connection, 45 00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:20,600 Speaker 3: even if it was through a podcast. 46 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:27,000 Speaker 1: The shame, the guilt. Caroline thought she was alone in 47 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:30,440 Speaker 1: these feelings. She had no idea that there were others 48 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:35,880 Speaker 1: out there suffering from the same form of trauma. The 49 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:39,360 Speaker 1: people who've shared their stories in prior seasons and on 50 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:42,200 Speaker 1: the Betrayal Weekly podcast felt the same way. 51 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:44,760 Speaker 4: The person I had loved and been in a relationship 52 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:48,640 Speaker 4: with disappeared, and with him went three years of my 53 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:50,160 Speaker 4: life into a black hole. 54 00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:52,200 Speaker 2: I was like, what's wrong with me? 55 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,520 Speaker 3: I was just heartsick, gut sick, heartsick. 56 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 4: My whole body responded in All I could think of 57 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:01,480 Speaker 4: was who are you? 58 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:03,680 Speaker 2: How could you do this? 59 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:08,520 Speaker 1: All these people experience betrayal trauma. It's the thread that 60 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:11,960 Speaker 1: binds all the stories we tell. And we got the 61 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:15,240 Speaker 1: opportunity to speak to the person who coined the term 62 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:19,839 Speaker 1: betrayal trauma in the first place. She is a retired 63 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:24,360 Speaker 1: research psychologist who pioneered the field of betrayal trauma. So 64 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:27,320 Speaker 1: to close out our season, we wanted to share parts 65 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:28,600 Speaker 1: of our conversation with you. 66 00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:34,960 Speaker 2: My name is Jennifer Fried. I was a university professor 67 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:37,560 Speaker 2: at the University of Oregon most of my career, where 68 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:44,640 Speaker 2: I taught psychology and did a lot of research, specifically 69 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:49,600 Speaker 2: developing betrayal trauma theory, the concept of betrayal blindness all 70 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:53,839 Speaker 2: the way through to institutional courage. 71 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:58,280 Speaker 1: After going to graduate school for cognitive psychology, doctor Fried 72 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:00,520 Speaker 1: made her way to the University of Oregon. 73 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:04,760 Speaker 2: Some years into my time at the University of Oregon, 74 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:09,440 Speaker 2: I really changed pivoted the kind of research I was 75 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:12,080 Speaker 2: doing to the psychology of trauma. 76 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:16,560 Speaker 1: Doctor Fried started compiling research on a specific form of trauma, 77 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:20,120 Speaker 1: the kind you experience when someone close to you breaks 78 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:20,679 Speaker 1: your trust. 79 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:24,120 Speaker 2: At the time, in the early nineteen nineties, there was 80 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:31,440 Speaker 2: still within academic psychology a disbelief in the prevalence of trauma, 81 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:37,040 Speaker 2: particularly interpersonal, particularly sexual trauma, as well as its significance 82 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:41,600 Speaker 2: or importance. And I remember very well in around oh 83 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:45,360 Speaker 2: maybe nineteen ninety one, ish I gave a talk in 84 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:48,920 Speaker 2: my own department about my new research and ideas, and 85 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:52,479 Speaker 2: people were just like looking at me like I had 86 00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:53,880 Speaker 2: gotten nuts. 87 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:57,640 Speaker 1: Still, she kept going. She knew there was something here. 88 00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:02,479 Speaker 1: Eventually this pattern developed into a theory, a theory of 89 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:03,520 Speaker 1: betrayal trauma. 90 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:08,719 Speaker 2: A betrayal trauma is when somebody that you depend on 91 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:14,880 Speaker 2: and trust does something that harms you. It's that combination 92 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:19,200 Speaker 2: of harm with the nature of the relationship you have 93 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:22,840 Speaker 2: with the person the victim perpetrator relationships. 94 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:27,560 Speaker 1: Betrayal trauma theory accounts for how we process traumas differently 95 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:32,120 Speaker 1: when they're perpetrated by someone close to us. And there 96 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:36,920 Speaker 1: was always one aspect of processing betrayal at Intrigue, doctor Fried, 97 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 1: how people can block out experiences like childhood abuse or 98 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:45,880 Speaker 1: sexual assault, or how they can forget moments when they 99 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:47,320 Speaker 1: caught a partner and a lie. 100 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:53,359 Speaker 2: Betrayal trauma theory was always about understanding how and why 101 00:06:53,600 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 2: people could forget seemingly extremely important experiences and events in 102 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:03,000 Speaker 2: their life, very important traumas. 103 00:07:04,279 --> 00:07:06,920 Speaker 1: This is something we've seen over and over again on 104 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:11,360 Speaker 1: our show. We've received emails from people of all ages, professions, 105 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:14,080 Speaker 1: and backgrounds who say they didn't see what was right 106 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:18,080 Speaker 1: in front of them. Here's the thing, not seeing when 107 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:22,120 Speaker 1: someone close to you is betraying you. It isn't just denial, 108 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:27,000 Speaker 1: it's a very real psychological experience, one that doctor Fried 109 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:30,240 Speaker 1: has spent her career researching. She gave us an example 110 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:32,040 Speaker 1: she uses in one of her books. 111 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:36,600 Speaker 2: There was a woman whose husband was eventually arrested for 112 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:41,160 Speaker 2: sexually abusing children in a school. And the police raided 113 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:44,960 Speaker 2: his house and found all these stacks of child pornography 114 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:50,120 Speaker 2: sitting around his living room in plain sight. And they 115 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:55,840 Speaker 2: interviewed his wife, and she said she did not see them. 116 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,480 Speaker 2: She would look at the coffee table and she would 117 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:01,920 Speaker 2: not see them. She could have her eyes on them 118 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:03,120 Speaker 2: and not see them. 119 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:11,360 Speaker 1: When I read doctor Fried's book Blind to Betrayal, I 120 00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:14,360 Speaker 1: was struck by another story, a story of a woman 121 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:17,040 Speaker 1: who decided to visit her husband at his go to bar. 122 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:20,360 Speaker 1: She was waiting there to surprise him, and when her 123 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:23,440 Speaker 1: husband showed up, another woman approached him and kissed him. 124 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,720 Speaker 1: He explained it away, and the wife forgot about the 125 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:32,400 Speaker 1: kiss for years. At first, these two examples seem unbelievable. 126 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:35,280 Speaker 1: How can people fail to see what's right in front 127 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:38,920 Speaker 1: of them or forget experiences entirely? 128 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:43,719 Speaker 2: How does that happen? And why does that happen? And 129 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:48,240 Speaker 2: the answer that I provided that I came to call 130 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:54,640 Speaker 2: betrayal blindness was that it's a survival mechanism. 131 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 1: Doctor Fried explained that our brains block out information that 132 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,439 Speaker 1: could threaten vital relationships. 133 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:06,520 Speaker 2: We are programmed to fall in love with people we 134 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:09,720 Speaker 2: take care of, and people we take care of are 135 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:12,880 Speaker 2: also programmed to fall in love with us. We have 136 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,679 Speaker 2: a really strong attachment system, and it's a good it's 137 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:20,199 Speaker 2: a beautiful thing. It makes life worth living. Is this 138 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:23,480 Speaker 2: love that we feel? I mean, it keeps us alive. 139 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:27,920 Speaker 1: Think of a child relying on a parent. The child 140 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:31,720 Speaker 1: depends on that parent for love, food, and shelter, and 141 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:34,480 Speaker 1: the child trusts the parent to continue to care for them. 142 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:38,560 Speaker 2: But here's the problem. What happens if you've got an 143 00:09:38,559 --> 00:09:44,360 Speaker 2: abusive parent? What happens if the parent is the betrayer. 144 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:51,120 Speaker 2: If you withdraw or confront, you risk not getting your 145 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:55,240 Speaker 2: survival needs met at all, or you may get more abuse. 146 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:59,360 Speaker 2: It's not safe. The solution out of that is what 147 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:05,320 Speaker 2: I came to call betrayal blindness. The attachment system matters more. 148 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:09,800 Speaker 2: It's great to detect betrayal, but attachment matters more if 149 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:10,880 Speaker 2: it's keeping you alive. 150 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:16,000 Speaker 1: Our brains are constantly making choices about what information matters. 151 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:23,559 Speaker 2: Most humans are amazing in how they filter information. We 152 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:28,160 Speaker 2: do it all the time. We sort information out as 153 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:31,400 Speaker 2: it's coming into the eyes and the ears and the nose. 154 00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:36,480 Speaker 1: That filtering happens subconsciously. We don't notice it, but we've 155 00:10:36,559 --> 00:10:39,840 Speaker 1: all experienced it. Like when you're in a crowded room. 156 00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:44,160 Speaker 2: Even though there's twenty people talking at the same time, 157 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,640 Speaker 2: you're not going to hear other parts of the conversation, 158 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,679 Speaker 2: but suddenly your name pops out you or you know, 159 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 2: if there's a really juicy topic they're talking about, some 160 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:54,920 Speaker 2: good gossip over in the corner, you might suddenly be 161 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:59,040 Speaker 2: aware of that conversation. All that time, your brain has 162 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:02,360 Speaker 2: been filtering out the information coming in and kind of 163 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:06,480 Speaker 2: deciding which parts of it to be aware of. Because 164 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:08,040 Speaker 2: we can't be aware of everything at once. 165 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:12,319 Speaker 1: It can be unsettling to think about, but our brains 166 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:16,560 Speaker 1: are always selecting what we perceive and how we interpret 167 00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:21,200 Speaker 1: that information, and when terrible things happen, our brains work 168 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:26,880 Speaker 1: to preserve important relationships. We can subconsciously delete information, or 169 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:31,080 Speaker 1: sometimes even when we know the information, when we saw 170 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:35,800 Speaker 1: and experienced something firsthand, our brain can create an entirely 171 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:37,439 Speaker 1: new story It's. 172 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,560 Speaker 2: Not just that we can block out information and not 173 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:42,160 Speaker 2: see things right in front of us or not remember 174 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:48,080 Speaker 2: things that happen. There are other ways we can twist reality. 175 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:53,240 Speaker 2: So for some people, the way they engage in betrayal blindness, 176 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:57,760 Speaker 2: they see the events happening, they remember it, but they 177 00:11:57,840 --> 00:12:04,480 Speaker 2: twist around who's response, so they blame themselves, not the 178 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:05,720 Speaker 2: person who's harming them. 179 00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:10,760 Speaker 1: Like doctor Fried explained, this is a survival mechanism. That's 180 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:15,679 Speaker 1: why she first conceptualized betrayal blindness using the parent child relationship, 181 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:20,400 Speaker 1: because it's an essential relationship for that child survival. But 182 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:23,080 Speaker 1: adults experience betrayal blindness too. 183 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:30,200 Speaker 2: For many people, their intimate marriage or partnership relationships have 184 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:35,240 Speaker 2: these same dynamics, where one party feels very dependent on 185 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:38,839 Speaker 2: the other. They may be financially dependent, they may be 186 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:42,920 Speaker 2: emotionally dependent, they may have been betrayed themselves in childhood, 187 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:49,040 Speaker 2: whatever it is. Adults can also have terrible betrayal blindness, 188 00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:54,040 Speaker 2: and sometimes that is also serving a major survival benefit. 189 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:57,240 Speaker 2: If you are dependent on your partner and your partner's 190 00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:02,320 Speaker 2: betraying you and you confront her with draw, you risk 191 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:07,640 Speaker 2: potentially losing access to resources you need. It's serving an 192 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:14,000 Speaker 2: enormous survival benefit for many people in many situations, but 193 00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:17,800 Speaker 2: it does come at a cost. If you don't see it, 194 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:20,559 Speaker 2: it's hard to stop it, it's hard to get help, 195 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:24,240 Speaker 2: it's hard to get justice if you don't see it. 196 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:45,240 Speaker 1: Doctor Jennifer Fried is the leading expert on betrayal trauma, 197 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:48,600 Speaker 1: but she also has researched the psychology of people that 198 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:53,320 Speaker 1: commit betrayals. She has identified common tactics that perpetrators use 199 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:57,920 Speaker 1: to keep victims quiet. She calls this collection of tactics DARVO. 200 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:04,520 Speaker 2: DARVO is an acronym that stands for deny, attack, and 201 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:09,640 Speaker 2: reverse victim and offender, and it's a tactic that perpetrators 202 00:14:09,679 --> 00:14:15,200 Speaker 2: can use when they're being held accountable for a misbehavior. 203 00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:19,480 Speaker 1: We asked doctor Fried to break down the elements of DARVO. 204 00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:25,200 Speaker 2: The denial typically is aggressive, a little over the top, 205 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:31,680 Speaker 2: very angry denial. The attack is often an attack on credibility. 206 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:35,360 Speaker 2: It often takes the form of saying you know you 207 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:39,680 Speaker 2: are drunk, or you're mentally unhealthy, or they're sitting wrong 208 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:43,760 Speaker 2: with your memory. And the RVO is the most insidious part. 209 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:47,360 Speaker 2: This is reversing victim and offender, and this is when 210 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:51,440 Speaker 2: the true victim gets put into the offender role by 211 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,800 Speaker 2: daring to, you know, make this accusation. 212 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:59,520 Speaker 1: Even just hearing this description, we thought of Caroline's story 213 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:02,720 Speaker 1: like the time she heard about Joel having an affair 214 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:07,160 Speaker 1: with their tenant. Joel denied the accusation, and he even 215 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:09,080 Speaker 1: went with Caroline to confront her. 216 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:12,800 Speaker 5: This psychopath is got me on the road to the divorce. 217 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,400 Speaker 5: My kids won't be out of the house. 218 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:19,720 Speaker 1: Instead of taking accountability, he made himself the victim. Then 219 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:23,680 Speaker 1: there was the moment Caroline confronted Joel about lying about 220 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:26,280 Speaker 1: where he was in the middle of the night. He 221 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:29,240 Speaker 1: said he was at an accident scene, but his location 222 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:33,680 Speaker 1: on Life three sixty told a different story. Caroline described 223 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:37,200 Speaker 1: Joel exhibiting the first element of darvo denial. 224 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:40,080 Speaker 4: Oh my god, that had to be a wrong cell 225 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:43,320 Speaker 4: phone tower pinging and I was not even close to their. 226 00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:46,720 Speaker 1: Then the second element, Joel attacked her. 227 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:48,920 Speaker 2: Why would you say that? Don't you think I want 228 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:49,440 Speaker 2: to be home? 229 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:54,160 Speaker 1: And finally the third element, Joel reversed the victim and offender. 230 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:58,280 Speaker 1: He made her feel as though she had done something wrong. 231 00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:03,040 Speaker 4: I start feeling guilty for asking him something that I 232 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:06,280 Speaker 4: factually see and then I start doubting myself and almost 233 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,200 Speaker 4: believing could a self on. 234 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,400 Speaker 3: Tower being wrong on life three sixty? 235 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:10,880 Speaker 5: Is that? 236 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:15,960 Speaker 2: Is that even possible? We found that one of the 237 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:19,240 Speaker 2: consequences of being darvoed when somebody does that to you 238 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:23,880 Speaker 2: is blaming yourself. When people blame themselves, they're much more 239 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:27,800 Speaker 2: likely to go silent, and so if the perpetrator's goal 240 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:31,600 Speaker 2: is to get the victim to be silent, darvo has 241 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:32,760 Speaker 2: that effect too. 242 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:37,720 Speaker 1: This strategy worked on Caroline. It kept her doubting herself 243 00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:42,160 Speaker 1: instead of doubting Joel and darvo is not just a 244 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:47,000 Speaker 1: tactic used interpersonally. It's commonly used in trials. 245 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:52,000 Speaker 2: It's often a technique used by defense attorneys in say 246 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:56,560 Speaker 2: a sexual abuse case, where the defense attorney will very 247 00:16:56,880 --> 00:17:01,080 Speaker 2: consciously deny on behalf of their client the event happened 248 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:05,200 Speaker 2: and attacked the credibility of the victim, and then reverse 249 00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:09,919 Speaker 2: victim and offender by painting the true victim as the 250 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:11,120 Speaker 2: offender in the situation. 251 00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:14,399 Speaker 1: This also made us think of Joel and how he 252 00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:17,520 Speaker 1: shifted the blame onte his home life during his internal 253 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:21,520 Speaker 1: Affairs interviews. We played Doctor Fried this tape from when 254 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:24,680 Speaker 1: he was investigated for sexually harassing reporters. 255 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:35,000 Speaker 5: I'm sorry, right, things were good at home, and I 256 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:39,280 Speaker 5: think I fell into the trap of, you know, being 257 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:40,480 Speaker 5: excited about the attention. 258 00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:47,280 Speaker 2: What he does in the clip is really puts himself 259 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:51,680 Speaker 2: into the victim role, you know, that crying and the 260 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:56,280 Speaker 2: way he's painting himself. You know, he's a person who 261 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,960 Speaker 2: we might want to feel sorry for. He sort of 262 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,600 Speaker 2: put himself in the position of the one being wronged. 263 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:08,120 Speaker 1: In this next clip, Joel goes even farther. When internal 264 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:11,560 Speaker 1: affairs demanded accountability for having sex in his police car, 265 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:16,400 Speaker 1: he put the responsibility of his rehabilitation on the police department. 266 00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:20,800 Speaker 1: In his interview as part of the IA investigation, he 267 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:23,439 Speaker 1: said the following, we pay a lot of. 268 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:27,240 Speaker 6: Loop service about our employees as our family and all that. 269 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:30,880 Speaker 6: But I like to maybe somehow believe in that and 270 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:35,880 Speaker 6: recognize that I've had issues, and I've had issues for 271 00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:42,040 Speaker 6: a long long time, and every day is a struggle 272 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:43,120 Speaker 6: and I want help. 273 00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:48,320 Speaker 2: There may be a truth to all that, in the 274 00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:51,520 Speaker 2: sense that he has issues and it's been a traumatic job, 275 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:55,760 Speaker 2: but it's a way to deflect responsibility regarding his own 276 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:58,679 Speaker 2: behavior in a police car with this woman. 277 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:04,119 Speaker 1: Fried can't speak to Joel's specific psychological profile, but she 278 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:07,359 Speaker 1: says in her research she's learned a lot about the 279 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:09,600 Speaker 1: kinds of people who use DARVO. 280 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:15,160 Speaker 2: People that use darvo are quite a bit more likely 281 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,919 Speaker 2: to also engage in sexually harassing behaviors. 282 00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:23,080 Speaker 1: Once again, Joel appeared to align with the profile Doctor 283 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:27,320 Speaker 1: Fried developed. You may recall from an earlier episode, his 284 00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:31,240 Speaker 1: behavior had grown so disruptive that he was eventually banned 285 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:35,840 Speaker 1: from the family doctor's office. Caroline learned the truth when 286 00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:38,119 Speaker 1: she went to get tested for STDs. 287 00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:42,560 Speaker 4: And so she does a full exam and she leaves 288 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:44,439 Speaker 4: the room, and when she came back in, she just 289 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:48,119 Speaker 4: had this horrible kind of fearful look on her face. 290 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:52,720 Speaker 4: And I just was sobbing, and I said, you can 291 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:54,840 Speaker 4: tell I have something, can't You can already tell I 292 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:58,280 Speaker 4: have something? And she shook her head and she said no, 293 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:02,720 Speaker 4: And she said she was debating on telling me that 294 00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:07,560 Speaker 4: Joel had essentially been blacklisted from seeing her because he 295 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:11,080 Speaker 4: had come in four different appointments before and had been 296 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:15,320 Speaker 4: and appropriate with his commentary. I'm very sexualized with his 297 00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:18,480 Speaker 4: commentary toward her, and I was mortified. 298 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:23,639 Speaker 1: Doctor Fried offered more details about people who use darvo. 299 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:29,919 Speaker 2: They are more likely to hold beliefs that blame women 300 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:34,800 Speaker 2: for being victims, and they are more likely to have 301 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:39,840 Speaker 2: certain personality characteristics three in particular that are often called 302 00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:44,520 Speaker 2: the Dark triad narcissism, machia, alianism, and psychopathy. 303 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:49,360 Speaker 1: People with Dark triad characteristics can be cunning, self interested, 304 00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:53,240 Speaker 1: and manipulative. They often lack empathy and are willing to 305 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:55,440 Speaker 1: exploit others to achieve their goals. 306 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:58,639 Speaker 2: It doesn't mean if somebody uses darvau they are for 307 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:01,960 Speaker 2: sure any of those things, just it's just much more likely. 308 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:06,880 Speaker 1: Doctor Fried's research does offer one encouraging insight. 309 00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:11,960 Speaker 2: We find if we educate people about darva, it reduces 310 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:16,159 Speaker 2: the power of darvaux. If people know that this is 311 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,639 Speaker 2: a pattern, they're not as swayed by it. 312 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:40,560 Speaker 1: We've been talking to betrayal trauma researcher doctor Jennifer Fried. 313 00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:45,840 Speaker 1: Her groundbreaking work has transformed how we understand and support 314 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:49,760 Speaker 1: victims of betrayal. One reason we wanted to speak with 315 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,840 Speaker 1: her for this season is her focus on a concept 316 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,360 Speaker 1: she's termed institutional betrayal. 317 00:21:56,359 --> 00:22:01,160 Speaker 2: Institutional betrayal in its broadest sense, is when the perpetrator 318 00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,359 Speaker 2: of a betrayal is just something larger than one person. 319 00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:08,560 Speaker 2: So families are little tiny institutions. It can be a family, 320 00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:11,760 Speaker 2: it can be you know, the workplace. It can be 321 00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:15,119 Speaker 2: the church, or the school, or the government. It's the 322 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:19,960 Speaker 2: larger entity that is betraying somebody who is dependent on 323 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:24,959 Speaker 2: that institution, cares for it, very often loves the institution. 324 00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:31,360 Speaker 2: So the dynamics of betrayal trauma all apply to institution betrayal. 325 00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:37,359 Speaker 1: After Joel was exposed, no one in the department came 326 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:42,399 Speaker 1: to Caroline's aid. She felt shut out and alone. Doctor 327 00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:47,200 Speaker 1: Fred's research confirms this added layer of betrayal can be devastating. 328 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:52,720 Speaker 2: People are very vulnerable to being hurt by institutions they 329 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:57,240 Speaker 2: trust it and depend on fail to protect them, fail 330 00:22:57,320 --> 00:23:00,840 Speaker 2: to respond well. When they've been harmed in that institution, 331 00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:03,720 Speaker 2: it's a whole new level of harm. I sometimes think 332 00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:07,000 Speaker 2: about like the second concussion, where you know it's bad 333 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:08,879 Speaker 2: to be hitting the head once, but then you go 334 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:12,720 Speaker 2: and you hit the head again. That's, you know, way worse. 335 00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:18,119 Speaker 1: Doctor Fred explains the way we depend on institutions is 336 00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:20,600 Speaker 1: a lot like the way we depend on people in 337 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:21,240 Speaker 1: our lives. 338 00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:25,760 Speaker 2: Almost everyone has some institution they love. Most people love 339 00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:29,760 Speaker 2: their family, most people love their church if they have one, 340 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:34,520 Speaker 2: or their school. They have emotional attachments, and the institutions 341 00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:37,280 Speaker 2: can't actually love you back. But it doesn't stop people 342 00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:41,000 Speaker 2: from loving the institutions. And that's not a bad thing 343 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:44,000 Speaker 2: that we love institutions, just a very human thing, but 344 00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:47,120 Speaker 2: it does make us vulnerable to the harm of betrayal. 345 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:51,960 Speaker 1: Doctor Fried found this idea of institutional betrayal deeply troubling, 346 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,520 Speaker 1: but it also felt like an exciting issue to tackle 347 00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:59,160 Speaker 1: when doctor Fried and her students could have a real 348 00:23:59,240 --> 00:23:59,880 Speaker 1: impact on. 349 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:03,520 Speaker 2: It's actually easier to think about fixing an institution than 350 00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:07,879 Speaker 2: fixing all the interpersonal violence in the United States, and 351 00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:13,879 Speaker 2: we developed steps one can take to make institutions less betraying. 352 00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:18,280 Speaker 1: These steps and the idea that institutions can prevent further 353 00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:23,879 Speaker 1: betrayal big up doctor Fried's theory of institutional courage. One 354 00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:27,000 Speaker 1: of the main steps is transparency. 355 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:35,520 Speaker 2: Betrayal really loves secrecy and really doesn't survive transparency very 356 00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:41,080 Speaker 2: well at all. In families where you've got institutional betrayal occurring, 357 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:45,080 Speaker 2: there's almost always secrets. They're things that aren't known, can't 358 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:49,600 Speaker 2: be talked about and most therapists of healthy family systems 359 00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:52,720 Speaker 2: will tell you that secrets are bad for families, and 360 00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:56,320 Speaker 2: the more that can be shared openly and transparently the better. 361 00:24:56,760 --> 00:25:01,320 Speaker 2: The more transparency, the less likely these betraying things will occur. 362 00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:05,760 Speaker 1: This made us think of Caroline too. She made the 363 00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:09,040 Speaker 1: choice to be very transparent with her children about what 364 00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:12,800 Speaker 1: Joel had done. We asked doctor Fried for her opinion 365 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:13,200 Speaker 1: on this. 366 00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:16,720 Speaker 2: It's interesting because if you were talking about eight to 367 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:21,200 Speaker 2: nine year olds, this would be a tougher issue. With children, 368 00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:24,520 Speaker 2: you know, you have to be sensitive to their developmental 369 00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:27,919 Speaker 2: stage and not overwhelm them with information they may not 370 00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:32,119 Speaker 2: really have a way to understand. By the time you're sixteen, 371 00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:36,240 Speaker 2: that's no longer really an issue. Sixteen, seventeen, and certainly 372 00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:41,720 Speaker 2: nineteen twenty year olds are fully capable of understanding these 373 00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:45,640 Speaker 2: sources of issues and are only going to benefit from 374 00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:49,840 Speaker 2: honesty and only going to suffer from secrets. 375 00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:53,359 Speaker 1: She also brought up that this isn't just a question 376 00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:58,119 Speaker 1: of knowing or not knowing. Transparency in this case is 377 00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,920 Speaker 1: key to ensuring the cycle of trail ends with Joel. 378 00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:09,720 Speaker 2: Secrecy is corrosive. Secrecy allows dysfunctional harmful patterns to repeat 379 00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:13,600 Speaker 2: over and over again. One way to think about this 380 00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:18,679 Speaker 2: is in terms of what's the probability that our teenager 381 00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:22,520 Speaker 2: who grows up in a family like this goes on 382 00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:28,560 Speaker 2: to repeat this dynamic as an adult, versus the probability 383 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:31,240 Speaker 2: they go on to have a healthy relationship when they 384 00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:38,440 Speaker 2: develop their own family. The more things are hidden, unspoken secret, 385 00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:42,320 Speaker 2: the more likely they are to just repeat it. One 386 00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:45,560 Speaker 2: of the best ways to kind of innoculate people from 387 00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:50,960 Speaker 2: repeating dysfunctional family dynamics is to really shine a light 388 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:55,760 Speaker 2: on them and be fully honest about what was messed up, 389 00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:59,479 Speaker 2: giving people that conscious awareness so they can choose not 390 00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:00,360 Speaker 2: to repeat that. 391 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:04,600 Speaker 1: We played Doctor Fried a clip of Caroline Son speaking 392 00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,320 Speaker 1: about this issue. 393 00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:10,199 Speaker 2: I wanted to know everything. The truth hurt, but it 394 00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:13,600 Speaker 2: was powerful and it was needed. That was the only 395 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:18,760 Speaker 2: way to move forward. One of the things that struck 396 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,680 Speaker 2: me in that clip was how much courage this young 397 00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:24,560 Speaker 2: man has as well. It's not like he wants to 398 00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:29,000 Speaker 2: learn that his father's done harmful things. It takes courage 399 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:33,080 Speaker 2: to learn that, but it does make it possible for 400 00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:38,119 Speaker 2: him to support the other family members in a really 401 00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:41,679 Speaker 2: meaningful way, and for him to go and develop his 402 00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:45,920 Speaker 2: own life without repeating this harmful pattern. 403 00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:52,320 Speaker 1: The need for transparency also applies to larger institutions. Doctor 404 00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:55,560 Speaker 1: Fried pointed to the issue of sexual assault in the military. 405 00:27:56,640 --> 00:28:01,080 Speaker 2: What people who've experienced that very often say is that 406 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:06,000 Speaker 2: when they went to the authorities in the military to 407 00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:11,600 Speaker 2: report what had happened, what happened after that from the 408 00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:16,440 Speaker 2: authorities of the military was even worse than the sexual 409 00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:17,800 Speaker 2: assault in the first place. 410 00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:22,840 Speaker 1: When victims aren't taken seriously or investigations are dropped or 411 00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:25,200 Speaker 1: covered up, it adds to the pain. 412 00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:29,800 Speaker 2: We've compared groups of military sexual trauma survivors who went 413 00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:33,200 Speaker 2: on to have an institutional betrayal experience versus ones who didn't. 414 00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:36,880 Speaker 2: Everybody you know had bad effects from the sexual trauma, 415 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:40,080 Speaker 2: but the ones who went on to have institutional betrayal 416 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:43,040 Speaker 2: on top of that, we're doing much worse. In fact, 417 00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:46,880 Speaker 2: we're even more likely to attempt suicide. That's how bad 418 00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:50,960 Speaker 2: it is. So we know from now dozens of studies 419 00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:57,280 Speaker 2: that institutional betrayal harms people over and above the interpersonal 420 00:28:57,480 --> 00:28:59,120 Speaker 2: betrayals they've experienced. 421 00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:04,600 Speaker 1: The institution can counteract this by taking accountability for the 422 00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:09,320 Speaker 1: wrongs for being complicit or even directly eating in betrayal. 423 00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:13,080 Speaker 2: If they have the courage to really look at what's happened, 424 00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:15,480 Speaker 2: then they can move forward in a healthier way. 425 00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:21,200 Speaker 1: This examination is especially needed when the perpetrator walks away. 426 00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:25,200 Speaker 2: One of the things that can really help healing is 427 00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:30,840 Speaker 2: having a community that validates the reality. Even if the 428 00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:35,880 Speaker 2: betrayer never fully discloses or fully takes account a community 429 00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:36,480 Speaker 2: around them. 430 00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:40,680 Speaker 1: Ken Caroline may never get that validation from the CSPD, 431 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:44,320 Speaker 1: but doctor Fried says Caroline is doing what she can 432 00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:46,760 Speaker 1: to take healing into her own hands. 433 00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:49,760 Speaker 2: There's a wonderful quote that I won't get exactly right 434 00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:57,400 Speaker 2: from trauma therist Judith Hermann. The antidote to despair is activism, 435 00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:02,520 Speaker 2: and activism can take many pass It sounds like in 436 00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:08,320 Speaker 2: Caroline's case, her telling her story is activism because she's 437 00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:14,840 Speaker 2: being courageous. She's sharing her vulnerability, her personal pain, all 438 00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:19,160 Speaker 2: with the hope that it will help other people. 439 00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:30,080 Speaker 1: Thank you to doctor Jennifer Fried. If you want to 440 00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:33,800 Speaker 1: learn more about betrayal trauma, we highly recommend her book 441 00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:37,400 Speaker 1: Blind to Betrayal. You can also check out the Center 442 00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:42,440 Speaker 1: for Institutional Courage, a nonprofit founded by doctor Fried. It's 443 00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:46,680 Speaker 1: dedicated to understanding institutional betrayal and the steps needed to 444 00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:51,400 Speaker 1: prevent and counteract it through institutional courage. We've linked the 445 00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:56,000 Speaker 1: book and the nonprofit in the show notes. This is 446 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:59,600 Speaker 1: the final episode of season four, Caroline Story. If this 447 00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:02,480 Speaker 1: story resonated with you, or if you have a betrayal 448 00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:05,040 Speaker 1: experience of your own to share, you can write to 449 00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:08,040 Speaker 1: us at Betrayal Pod at gmail dot com. We'll be 450 00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:12,239 Speaker 1: back with new weekly stories starting August seventh. Thank you 451 00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:14,960 Speaker 1: for listening to Betrayal season four. If you would like 452 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,000 Speaker 1: to reach out to the Betrayal team, email us at 453 00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:20,720 Speaker 1: Betrayal Pod at gmail dot com. That's Betrayal Pod at 454 00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:23,640 Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Also, please be sure to follow us 455 00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:27,240 Speaker 1: at Glass Podcasts on Instagram for all Betrayal content, news 456 00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:29,960 Speaker 1: and updates. One way to support the series is by 457 00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:33,280 Speaker 1: subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. Please rate and 458 00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:36,800 Speaker 1: review Betrayal. Five star reviews help us know you appreciate 459 00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:40,480 Speaker 1: what we do. Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, 460 00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:44,280 Speaker 1: a division of Glass Entertainment Group and partnership with iHeart Podcasts. 461 00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:47,880 Speaker 1: The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fason. 462 00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:51,840 Speaker 1: Betrayal is hosted and produced by me Andrea Gunning, written 463 00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:55,600 Speaker 1: and produced by Kerry Hartman and Caitlin Golden, story editing 464 00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:59,600 Speaker 1: and producing by Monique Labourd, also produced by Ben Fetterman. 465 00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:04,160 Speaker 1: Our associate producer is Kristin Melcury. Our iHeart team is 466 00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:07,880 Speaker 1: Ali Perry and Jessica Crincheck. Audio editing and mixing by 467 00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:12,280 Speaker 1: Matt Ovechio, editing by Tanner Robbins, and special thanks to 468 00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:16,400 Speaker 1: Caroline and her family. Betrayal's theme is composed by Oliver Baines. 469 00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:20,960 Speaker 1: Music library provided by my Music and For more podcasts 470 00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:24,640 Speaker 1: from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever 471 00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:27,920 Speaker 1: you get your podcasts,