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Speaker 1: I bought a DNA kit because of my suspicion, and

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Speaker 1: my mother's reaction made it even worse.

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Speaker 2: WHOA, that's crazy, Riley.

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Speaker 1: Well, Sophia, it's Inheriting too Much Drama Week on Okay

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Speaker 1: Storytime Podcasts. Well, we're uncovering the most hazy stories of greed, betrayal.

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Speaker 3: And you guessed it. Family Secrets Tells.

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Speaker 1: I'll have you questioning whether the people closest to you

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Speaker 1: actually have your best interest at heart, or they've been

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Speaker 1: waiting for the right moment to take all of your money,

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Speaker 1: because apparently, for some families, love has a cost. If

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Speaker 1: you're new here and looking for the story I became

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Speaker 1: a millionaire overnight and lost everything that actually mattered, just

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Speaker 1: click the link in the show notes below, or search

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Speaker 1: Inheriting too Much Drama Week, Okay Storytime wherever you get

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Speaker 1: your podcasts. So let's dive into this one.

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Speaker 2: But first, a quick two minute break for the sponsors

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Speaker 2: keeping this show.

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Speaker 1: Afloat I nineteen female, have always wanted to get a

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Speaker 1: DNA test after a weird suspicion that I might not

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Speaker 1: be related to both or at least one of my

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Speaker 1: parents my mom thirty nine, female Alexa had always treated

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Speaker 1: me and my brother differently. Our brother is eighteen Mel,

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Speaker 1: who's only a year younger than me. I would always

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Speaker 1: get more in trouble even if he did the same

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Speaker 1: bad thing. She was usually more affectionate with him than me.

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Speaker 1: He never got grounded for more than a day, whereas

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Speaker 1: I would be grounded for weeks on end. And by

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Speaker 1: the way, this comes from sigweb.

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Speaker 3: Oh one.

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Speaker 1: And if you want to spark and if you want

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Speaker 1: to spa your old stories, go to the r slash

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Speaker 1: okay story time subreddits.

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Speaker 3: I'm Riley, I'm Sophia. We're here to give good ad

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Speaker 3: my schoofully. That's our job.

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Speaker 1: Your job is to comment down below if you have

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Speaker 1: anything you want to add. You op says my dad

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Speaker 1: forty one. Mel has never had much of an opinion

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Speaker 1: of me taking a DNA test and is very nonchalant

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Speaker 1: about everything, mainly because Alexa controls him in some ways

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Speaker 1: that works for them. We aren't close and he was

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Speaker 1: barely present. I now live with my spouse a thousand

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Speaker 1: miles away from where I used to live for almost

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Speaker 1: two years do doo toxicity and not be happy there.

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Speaker 1: So finally I said screw it and paid for a

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Speaker 1: DNA kit. When me and my wife recently went to

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Speaker 1: visit my family for the holidays last month, we were

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Speaker 1: playing a card game and one of my cards said, drink,

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Speaker 1: have you ever gotten a DNA test? I drank slowly

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Speaker 1: just to see Alex's reaction. Her mood changed instantly to

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Speaker 1: your fing joking right. The table went quiet, and my

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Speaker 1: wife gave me the most scared look. I panicked and

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Speaker 1: said I was joking, and awkwardly left. I had thought

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Speaker 1: Alexa might feel differently about now, considering her oldest sister

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Speaker 1: got a DNA test done in August of twenty twenty

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Speaker 1: four which connected a relative that ended up being a

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Speaker 1: long lost sister, and none of them had ever known.

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Speaker 1: I guess it's different when it's her own daughter. I

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Speaker 1: sent out my kit mid December and was supposed to

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Speaker 1: get the results back around the beginning to mid February.

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Speaker 1: I also have different last names than any of my

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Speaker 1: family members extended included. Whenever I would question it, Alexa

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Speaker 1: would get defensive and never explain where it came from

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Speaker 1: or why I'm the only person from both sides of

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Speaker 1: my family with that last name. My father and brother

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Speaker 1: shared the same last name. I also don't share my parents' features.

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Speaker 1: My brother looks like a male version of my mom.

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Speaker 1: Both of my parents have freckles. I don't have any.

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Speaker 1: I have some green in my eyes. My whole family

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Speaker 1: has dark brown at it. Alexa's story about my delivery

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Speaker 1: room was always inconsistent. She first claimed nobody was there,

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Speaker 1: then later said her mom and two sisters were with her.

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Speaker 1: She also claimed my dad was in the delivery room,

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Speaker 1: and then years later told me they were broken up

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Speaker 1: when she was pregnant with me. Alexa also randomly told

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Speaker 1: me about how her ex boyfriend had tried reaching out

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Speaker 1: to her two to three years ago, and she blocked

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Speaker 1: it and ignored it. When I asked why he'd reached

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Speaker 1: out after all those years, she got defensive and shut

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Speaker 1: the conversation down. Another odd interaction was when I was

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Speaker 1: younger and asked Alexa about her boyfriends before my dad.

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Speaker 1: After I kept pushing, she told me she had an

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Speaker 1: almost with him. I made a silly joke and said,

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Speaker 1: imagine he's my dad. She got really angry and yelled

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Speaker 1: at me for saying stupid stuff.

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Speaker 3: Alexa has also been.

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Speaker 1: Very secretive about my documents whenever I needed them for school,

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Speaker 1: and always refused to give me my birth certificate because

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Speaker 1: I'd lose it and I'm irresponsible. She gave me all

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Speaker 1: of my other documents, but never the birth certificate, And

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Speaker 1: now that I think about it, I don't think i've

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Speaker 1: ever seen it.

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Speaker 2: Get a new one. Get a new birth certificate. You

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Speaker 2: also should have that as an adult, because OPI's what

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Speaker 2: twenty four now?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: No, no, no, I think nineteen.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, okay, okay, that's fair. Well you were nineteen,

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Speaker 2: so still pretty young. But definitely get a birth certificate.

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Speaker 5: Please.

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Speaker 2: Your mom's hiding something I don't know it.

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Speaker 1: So again, Option A not related to either parents, YEA.

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Speaker 1: Option B mother has an affair baby. Option CE dad

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Speaker 1: has an affair baby. What are we feeling out? It

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Speaker 1: went to A, It went to be funny, haha, then

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Speaker 1: it went to A. Now I feel like we're back

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Speaker 1: at B.

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Speaker 4: I feel like it's C.

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Speaker 2: She doesn't have any proof that she was even like

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Speaker 2: there when Op was born.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so I did get my last name fully changed

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Speaker 1: with me and my wife got married. This won't interfere

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Speaker 1: with the results. Note you do not need a birth

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Speaker 1: certificate to get married. All thing I asked was for

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Speaker 1: mine and my wife's proof of identification. We have a

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Speaker 1: small update. I took into consideration what most of you

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Speaker 1: said and ordered my own birth certificate. After texting Alexa

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Speaker 1: for mine and having to explain why I wanted it,

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Speaker 1: she said she would send it. It's been two days

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Speaker 1: and I haven't heard from her. She went on a

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Speaker 1: trip out of state and usually text me when she

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Speaker 1: takes off in lands. Because I worry, I have fear

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Speaker 1: of plants. I got nothing. She text my brother, who

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Speaker 1: doesn't even reply and when she texts him, but not

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Speaker 1: to me. So I ordered one myself estimated to arrive

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Speaker 1: February seventeenth. For everyone's telling me to have my brother

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Speaker 1: take a test, I will try my best. I know

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Speaker 1: he will do it for me when I explain in

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Speaker 1: depth why. He knows how Alexa is especially with me,

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Speaker 1: so he will do it if it is meant to

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Speaker 1: help me. My results should be in by February seventeenth.

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Speaker 3: I will update when they come in.

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Speaker 2: Oh boy, I need it. I need it right now.

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Speaker 3: Update two two weeks later.

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Speaker 2: Put in your final guesses. Guys, we got ABC A

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Speaker 2: adopted be a fair baby on mom side. See a

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Speaker 2: fair baby on dad's side. D kidnapping There you go?

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Speaker 2: Oh E switched at bird Update two. Hi, it's been

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Speaker 2: eleven days since my last post. I was supposed to

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Speaker 2: get my results today, but they got delayed for about

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Speaker 2: two more weeks. Alexa has goes to me since I

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Speaker 2: texted her asking for my birth certificate. It's been nearly

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Speaker 2: two weeks since we last spoke, which is not normal

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Speaker 2: for us. The most we'd ever go without talking to

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Speaker 2: each other was three days. She left on her trip

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Speaker 2: without texting me about fly or landing details, which she

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Speaker 2: always does because she knows I worry about flights. I

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Speaker 2: think she flew to Cuba. I think she left the country.

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Speaker 3: How bad is this?

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Speaker 2: I think that you're actually a lost princess and she

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Speaker 2: kidnapped you so that she could stay young forever.

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Speaker 1: She texted my brother instead, who doesn't even reply to her.

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Speaker 1: When she got back, she didn't even reach out to me.

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Speaker 1: She usually sends me short form content, probably ten times

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Speaker 1: a day. At least, she hasn't sent a single one.

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Speaker 1: I responded to one of a reposts the day after

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Speaker 1: our conversation about the birth certificate, and she left me

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Speaker 1: unseen called my brother, told him briefly what was going on.

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Speaker 1: I asked if I could buy him in the DNA test.

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Speaker 1: He said yes, he'd actually been wanting to do one.

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Speaker 1: We agreed I'd buy it and he'd do it when

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Speaker 1: he comes to visit me and my wife, so Alexa

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Speaker 1: wouldn't find out. My twentieth birthday is in two months,

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Speaker 1: and the last time we spoke on the phone, she

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Speaker 1: wanted to call back and arrange something to come see me.

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Speaker 1: She hasn't done that. I don't know if I want

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Speaker 1: to know what happened anymore. For now, I'll share any questions.

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Speaker 1: Update three DNA results Finally four days later.

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Speaker 2: This has taken too many updates. Just give me the DNA.

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Speaker 3: I need it.

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Speaker 1: This is literally your last chance. ABCD e F. I

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Speaker 1: feel like that's a good I think that's good.

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Speaker 3: Options.

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Speaker 2: There's too many.

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Speaker 1: If it doesn't hit on any of them, this would

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Speaker 1: be the wildest story.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. If it's like a totally different option, I'll be shocked.

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Speaker 3: You're actually we included Superman in one of them.

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Speaker 2: We did include Superman the options. Then, I think we've

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Speaker 2: covered all our bases all right, every.

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Speaker 1: Want to put your options in Hi, everyone. I got

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Speaker 1: my results yesterday at six am. As soon as my

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Speaker 1: wife saw the notification, she woke me up and I

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Speaker 1: haven't been able to sleep since.

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Speaker 2: This is me when I did a exams, wake up

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Speaker 2: at five to check your results.

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Speaker 1: When I opened my ancestry test, I immediately went to

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Speaker 1: matches and noticed that I only matched with people on

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Speaker 1: my mom's side that I recognized. But I matched more

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Speaker 1: with the woman on my father's side than I did

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Speaker 1: with my mom's sister. And I didn't recognize the name

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Speaker 1: at all.

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Speaker 3: What yep, I got it. I got it. I know

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Speaker 3: what happened. The aunt is her mom, that's my call. Okay.

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Speaker 1: Anyways, I reached out to my aunt and my dad's mom,

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Speaker 1: asking for anyone who had done a DNA test. My

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Speaker 1: aunt said yes, multiple of them had. My grandma and

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Speaker 1: Tea then said they talked to my parents and tell

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Speaker 1: them to call me. It had been two weeks since

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Speaker 1: my mom and I spoke, so I was terrified. Answered

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Speaker 1: my mom's call and she told me the truth with

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Speaker 1: my dad sobbing in the background. My mom explained that

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Speaker 1: my father is my father because he raised me and

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Speaker 1: loves me. But when she was nineteen, she got pregnant

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Speaker 1: by a man ten years older than her, so when

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Speaker 1: she meant on vacation. When she came back home, she

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Speaker 1: found out she was pregnant and told him over the phone.

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Speaker 1: There was another relevant comment, so was option B.

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Speaker 2: It was option B this whole time, the easiest option,

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Speaker 2: the most obvious option.

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Speaker 1: She didn't want him to be a part of my

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Speaker 1: life because he didn't take her seriously. She reconnected with

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Speaker 1: my dad around that time, told him they couldn't be

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Speaker 1: together because she was pregnant with another man's baby. My

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Speaker 1: dad stepped up, and my mom decided she wanted my

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Speaker 1: bio dad entirely out of the picture. My dad was crying,

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Speaker 1: asking if he was still my dad.

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Speaker 3: That broke me.

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Speaker 1: My biodad still lives in the state where they met

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Speaker 1: and has.

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Speaker 3: Two other kids. I have a little sister a.

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Speaker 1: Year younger than me, and an older brother who was

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Speaker 1: thirty years old. I've since been in contact with my

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Speaker 1: biodad and have been getting to know him and my siblings.

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Speaker 1: Things feel as if I'd known them my whole life.

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Speaker 1: The same features as all of them, and look identical

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Speaker 1: to both of them. I get my eyes from him.

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Speaker 1: I do need space for my mom for now because

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Speaker 1: it is a lot to process. I love her, but

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Speaker 1: it's just a lot. Okay, Okay, so Mom, she did,

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Speaker 1: Dad stepped up. Seemed like they worked it out. Now

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Speaker 1: you have to process it. I'm just pissed the mom

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Speaker 1: didn't say anything earlier.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I don't understand why she felt the need to

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Speaker 2: keep that such a huge secret because the dad already knew.

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Speaker 3: You know, just strange.

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Speaker 1: Why didn't the dad say anything too, because he has

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Speaker 1: every right to say it?

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Speaker 6: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Or is it because oh I'm not your biological father,

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Speaker 1: your mother has to tell you.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. I think the mom acted really weirdly.

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Speaker 2: Why was she behaving, you know, so meanly towards you

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Speaker 2: your whole life? Why was your dad okay with that

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Speaker 2: if he seems like he loves you. I don't understand

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Speaker 2: how they all acted in this.

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Speaker 7: But why did you call your mom by her first name?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? She actually is your mom?

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 7: Wait, yeah, why was the mom I'm coming up with

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Speaker 7: like really inconsistent lies?

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Speaker 2: She also Yeah, Van Campinator says mom didn't even cheat.

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Speaker 2: I don't.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't.

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Speaker 2: So she reconnected. They broke up and then she reconnected

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Speaker 2: with Op's dad. So why was this some huge secret

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Speaker 2: when she could have been like, yeah, like we broke

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Speaker 2: up and then I, you know, had a baby with

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Speaker 2: another guy and your dad really stepped up for us.

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Speaker 2: That would have been a lovely story. Why was this

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Speaker 2: a secret?

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Speaker 7: You should have like interrogated them, like, mom, how like

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Speaker 7: give me the first like week I was born? Dad,

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Speaker 7: give me the first week I was born, and to

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Speaker 7: see how their lines like.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so strange, but okay, I'm glad you figured it out.

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Speaker 2: But that's the end of that story, folks. And we've

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Speaker 2: got another one coming right up.

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Speaker 4: I told my girlfriend to be quiet in a museum

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Speaker 4: because she's being too loud. Girlfriends that twenty five male

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Speaker 4: was invited to go on vacation for a week with

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Speaker 4: my girlfriend twenty two female and her family father, mother, brother,

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Speaker 4: and his fiance. I don't know exactly what her is

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Speaker 4: her dad's issues are, but he's obviously gotten some sort

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Speaker 4: of intellectual disability. By the way, this comes from technical

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Speaker 4: Message eighty seven sixteen, And if you want to submit

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Speaker 4: your own stories, go to the r slash. Okay storytime,

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Speaker 4: supreddits And I'm Angie.

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Speaker 3: I'm Riley.

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Speaker 4: We're here to give good advice Goofily, but we don't

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Speaker 4: have all of the answers. We're just gonna guess what

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Speaker 4: we would do in these situations. So let us know

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Speaker 4: what you would do in the comment, and OHP says.

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Speaker 4: During our vacation, we've stopped at a few museums and

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Speaker 4: historical sites. Every single time, my girlfriend wants her dad

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Speaker 4: to walk in with us. At first I was fine

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Speaker 4: with it, but then I realized that he can't read.

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Speaker 4: At every stop, my girlfriend is narrating everything for her dad.

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Speaker 4: He's half deaf too, so she's either leaned right in

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Speaker 4: close to him or speaking loudly so he can hear.

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Speaker 4: Not only can he not read or hear, he hardly

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Speaker 4: understands what is being read to him, so my girlfriend

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Speaker 4: has to repeat half of it in simpler terms for

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Speaker 4: him to get. I'm a fast reader, so I'll be

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Speaker 4: ahead of them, but hearing my girlfriend yell out what

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Speaker 4: I just read three minutes ago, followed by her dad

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Speaker 4: saying what's that main and her spending another ten minutes

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Speaker 4: explaining what she literally just read, and him still not

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Speaker 4: getting it. This is why museums with narrated.

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Speaker 5: Tours give them through headsets.

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Speaker 4: I'm sure it disrupts other visitors as well, which is

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Speaker 4: why when we stopped today, I asked her not to

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Speaker 4: narrate everything.

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Speaker 5: She said that she had to for her dad.

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Speaker 4: I suggested that he'd get just as much out of

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Speaker 4: looking at the artifacts and pictures, since he doesn't understand

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Speaker 4: half of what's going on anyway. Then she says that's

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Speaker 4: not true. He loves learning. He especially enjoys historical facts.

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Speaker 5: Like come on now.

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Speaker 4: He has to be constantly reminded if a museum is

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Speaker 4: interactive or not, because he will try to touch anything

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Speaker 4: and everything that's his mental functioning level. I told her

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Speaker 4: it's disrespectful and kind of obnoxious to the other visitors

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Speaker 4: for her to be talking out loud constantly while people

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Speaker 4: are trying to absorb what they're reading. After a bit

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Speaker 4: of back and forth, she told me that I could

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Speaker 4: walk way ahead of them so I don't get distracted,

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Speaker 4: but she was going to read to her dad. Then

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Speaker 4: at lunch, I thought she was past it since everyone

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Speaker 4: seemed to be in a good mood, but when we

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Speaker 4: sat to eat, she made a jab that no one

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Speaker 4: should talk so I don't get too distracted while I eat.

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Speaker 4: She's still pissed obviously, and now so am I that

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Speaker 4: felt totally out of line?

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Speaker 5: Am I the a hole?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Very much.

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Speaker 1: I don't think anyone enjoying a museum is going to

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Speaker 1: be upset that someone who may not be at the

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Speaker 1: same intellectual ability as them, Yeah, needs to hear something

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Speaker 1: a few times more.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think, like I can understand if people are like, oh,

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Speaker 4: why is this person like saying this so loud?

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Speaker 5: That's a little weird.

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Speaker 4: But then they turn around and they learn what's happening

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Speaker 4: because it's obvious, and then they're forgiving about it. Then

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Speaker 4: it's fine because like you're really just this is just

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Speaker 4: ablest At this point, you're just straight up like not

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Speaker 4: accepting someone's disabilities because you're embarrassed to be around them.

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Speaker 5: Like, listen to how that sounds. Please?

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Speaker 3: You're the a hole totally.

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Speaker 4: There are some relevant comments. Allergy mom says you're the

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Speaker 4: a hole ablest much. What would have been a reasonable

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Speaker 4: question to ask, is, Hey, the museum offers headsets and

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Speaker 4: audio accessible aids. Would that help all of us enjoy

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Speaker 4: the museum together? Parents' age parents need support when enjoying

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Speaker 4: family time. It's cool in all that you enjoy your

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Speaker 4: speed reading and rushing along, but this was a family

347
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Speaker 4: vacation for her family, and you treated her father like

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Speaker 4: an inconvenience on their family trip that you were invited

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Speaker 4: to join. Anyone of any ability deserves to enjoy learning

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Speaker 4: and exploring museums at their own pace. Most museums have

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Speaker 4: special aids to support people with different abilities. Most museums

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00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,560
Speaker 4: aren't silent as the tomb Nowadays. Art museums still have

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Speaker 4: that feel, but most history and other museums are much

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Speaker 4: more interactive and inclusive. I doubt your relationship will survive

355
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:46,880
Speaker 4: how callously you treated her father. Opie says. I never

356
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Speaker 4: said this in front of her dad, obviously. I said

357
00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:52,760
Speaker 4: it in a private conversation with her, letting her know

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Speaker 4: that it may be seen as disruptive and she should

359
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Speaker 4: be respectful of everyone. Then she brought it to the

360
00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:59,760
Speaker 4: attention of her family with that job at lunch. By

361
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Speaker 4: the way, I really struggle with distractions when reading.

362
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Speaker 5: Due to ADHD.

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Speaker 4: I didn't say this to her, but technically her accommodating

364
00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:08,399
Speaker 4: her dad the way she was does the opposite for me,

365
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Speaker 4: who also has a disability, and that could be the

366
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Speaker 4: same for others. A deleted commenter says, do you think

367
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:17,159
Speaker 4: insulting her dad was respectful? Opie says, how did I

368
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,679
Speaker 4: insult him? I never said anything to him about it,

369
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:21,840
Speaker 4: and it's not like I said he was an idiot.

370
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Speaker 4: I just suggested that since he doesn't understand it, would

371
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Speaker 4: it would be better to just let him enjoy looking

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Speaker 4: so it doesn't disrupt the whole museum. Impossible reason to

373
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Speaker 4: Oh four says, being ablest only in front of your

374
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Speaker 4: girlfriend and not her dad.

375
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Speaker 5: Isn't the flex you think it is. Opie says.

376
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Speaker 4: If that's ablest, how is it not also ablest for

377
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:44,480
Speaker 4: her to bring attention to my adhd struggles with her

378
00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:48,359
Speaker 4: little jab at lunch. Oh don't talk well, Opie is eating.

379
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:52,000
Speaker 4: He might get you distracted on that same topic. If

380
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:54,280
Speaker 4: what I said was so offensive, why bring it up

381
00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:57,159
Speaker 4: around her family at all? If her dad is to

382
00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:59,840
Speaker 4: be hurt by it, it's because she brought him into

383
00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:02,960
Speaker 4: it with that. Maybe she's not the saint everyone here

384
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:06,560
Speaker 4: seems to assume. Lang Starr says, why are you dating

385
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:08,840
Speaker 4: her if you don't like her? Hope He says, I

386
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,320
Speaker 4: do like her. I'm just confused at all the comments,

387
00:18:11,359 --> 00:18:14,240
Speaker 4: acting like she was an entirely innocent and passive party

388
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:16,679
Speaker 4: in this disagreement, Like if her dad was hurt by

389
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:19,000
Speaker 4: what I said, there's only one person the rest of

390
00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:21,320
Speaker 4: her family could have heard it from, and it wasn't me.

391
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:22,720
Speaker 5: Her job at.

392
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Speaker 4: Dinner makes it more likely that he'd be hurt if

393
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,640
Speaker 4: she was being nothing but kind and consider it. Why

394
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:29,720
Speaker 4: make a comment in front of her family that raises

395
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,920
Speaker 4: suspicions on something having been said.

396
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:33,480
Speaker 5: That's not very kind of her.

397
00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:36,960
Speaker 4: He's literally saying, well, she is not innocent because she

398
00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:40,879
Speaker 4: told people she relayed the message that I said. It

399
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,320
Speaker 4: is not kind of her to tell other people about

400
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:46,439
Speaker 4: the unkind words I said it was. I was gonna

401
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:49,159
Speaker 4: just leave it and say it behind his back.

402
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:52,879
Speaker 3: But no, this dude definitely has a punchable face.

403
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,160
Speaker 5: I would have to agree with you. We've got an

404
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:55,880
Speaker 5: update here.

405
00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:59,080
Speaker 3: We do guys. We're Angie and I are a little date.

406
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:02,040
Speaker 1: Well it workday, Yeah, we we we got donuts and

407
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:02,680
Speaker 1: were hanging out.

408
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:05,680
Speaker 5: We sure are we can we can choose the donuts

409
00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:06,840
Speaker 5: after this story? How about that?

410
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:09,280
Speaker 3: And was sex? She's like, would will we be able

411
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:10,639
Speaker 3: to eat the donuts.

412
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:12,880
Speaker 5: So I was like, how's this gonna work?

413
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:14,280
Speaker 6: But like, we'll figure it out.

414
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:17,400
Speaker 5: We'll figure it out. It's okay, we're getting there.

415
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:19,920
Speaker 1: But people want to talk to your girlfriend. I hope

416
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:23,240
Speaker 1: he's girlfriend. Please break up with this guy. This guy's

417
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:23,760
Speaker 1: an idiot.

418
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, you don't get it.

419
00:19:26,359 --> 00:19:30,080
Speaker 1: Okay, you're an idiot because not only are you trying,

420
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:32,360
Speaker 1: you're just not trying to understand.

421
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,000
Speaker 3: The situation whatsoever.

422
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:35,480
Speaker 1: No, not at all, and you're making you're making this

423
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,960
Speaker 1: crazy disability Olympic game.

424
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:41,240
Speaker 3: Yeah nowhere and then and you know what else he's doing.

425
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:43,320
Speaker 3: He's kind of blaming his girlfriend curely.

426
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,919
Speaker 4: Is because he's like focusing on the fact in the

427
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:52,440
Speaker 4: stretch that like she is possibly not innocent in this situation,

428
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:56,560
Speaker 4: and like with him saying that in itself.

429
00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:58,960
Speaker 5: Is like like he's just he said, how.

430
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:01,960
Speaker 4: Are people not seeing how she's not totally innocent in

431
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:05,199
Speaker 4: this situation, which kind of implies that she's not the

432
00:20:05,359 --> 00:20:08,040
Speaker 4: guilty party that you are also to blame a little

433
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,880
Speaker 4: bit at least, But then you're not taking any accountability

434
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,919
Speaker 4: for that, and you're only focusing on like what you

435
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:15,639
Speaker 4: think she did was wrong. You were just a I

436
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:17,720
Speaker 4: think you are a bad person. I think we have

437
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,920
Speaker 4: a bad person on her hands. You should take all

438
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,080
Speaker 4: of this personally, change yourself, you bad person.

439
00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:22,720
Speaker 5: We have an update.

440
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,159
Speaker 4: Everyone can stop commenting now I get it. I'm the

441
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:26,960
Speaker 4: biggest butt of all time. I may as well be

442
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:30,159
Speaker 4: the devil for having a private conversation with my girlfriend

443
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:31,600
Speaker 4: that she made public.

444
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:35,480
Speaker 5: So what's that make her? I admit I could have

445
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:38,280
Speaker 5: worded it better. I didn't mean to be offensive.

446
00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:41,040
Speaker 4: I was trying to find a solution so that everyone

447
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:45,720
Speaker 4: could enjoy the museums. But apparently that's a big thing. No, no,

448
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:50,160
Speaker 4: a relationship. Thought they were about compromise and working through issues,

449
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:54,800
Speaker 4: but obviously not. You all be real being happy to

450
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:57,720
Speaker 4: hear my girlfriend broke up with me, So you can

451
00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:02,080
Speaker 4: all stop with the I hope she but congrats you

452
00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:07,240
Speaker 4: got your fingerish Ye's together down the drain over one incident,

453
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:12,400
Speaker 4: one stupid comment is that how fragile relationships are? Now?

454
00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:16,520
Speaker 5: Are you all happy with that reality? This guy's eve.

455
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:20,880
Speaker 1: It was over one comment that had so many layers

456
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:23,480
Speaker 1: attached to it. Yes, that you.

457
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,639
Speaker 3: You will not ever be able to comprehend.

458
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,439
Speaker 5: That like is really like?

459
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,800
Speaker 4: This is kind of a stretch, but it's it's okay,

460
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:32,480
Speaker 4: this is really a stretch. These two things are on

461
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:35,920
Speaker 4: very different levels. But it's like the excuse where it's like, well,

462
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,800
Speaker 4: he hit me once, so now I have to leave

463
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:41,800
Speaker 4: him forever, and it's like yeah, yeah you do, Yeah

464
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,000
Speaker 4: you made this again.

465
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:46,360
Speaker 5: The very different levels, but like, oh, I made this.

466
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:49,520
Speaker 4: One comment and now I'm now all of these years

467
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:52,679
Speaker 4: are down the drain. Yes, because that one comment was

468
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,920
Speaker 4: just that bad. And it wasn't even just that one comment.

469
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:57,679
Speaker 4: It was everything that you were trying to do to

470
00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:01,280
Speaker 4: back up your your opinion. And that's the end of

471
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:04,000
Speaker 4: this story. We're going on to the next one.

472
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:06,760
Speaker 1: I would leave my boyfriend and run away with my

473
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:07,560
Speaker 1: affair partner.

474
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:10,520
Speaker 4: Ah, well I think you should leave your boyfriend because you.

475
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:11,160
Speaker 5: Cheated on him.

476
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:14,280
Speaker 1: Now, before anyone says it, yes, I already know. I'm

477
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:17,480
Speaker 1: a terrible person for what I did, and I'm not

478
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 1: here to justify anything just to get some advice to

479
00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:25,239
Speaker 1: me some female. I've been with my boyfriend Scollie not

480
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:27,800
Speaker 1: his real name, thirty four mal for a little over

481
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:31,440
Speaker 1: three years. We met through mutual friends and spent three

482
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:35,160
Speaker 1: straight days together, smoking, drinking, and just talking. By the way,

483
00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:37,840
Speaker 1: this comes from Full Highway fourteen and f you will

484
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:40,000
Speaker 1: spend your own stories. Who are the r slash Okay

485
00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:42,200
Speaker 1: Street some subred at I'm Riley.

486
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:42,520
Speaker 5: I'm Angie.

487
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:45,240
Speaker 1: We're here to just give good advice. Goofully, You're here

488
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:47,639
Speaker 1: to comment what you know down below. We'll love to

489
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:49,720
Speaker 1: read them. Ope, he says. On the third day, he

490
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:52,359
Speaker 1: asked if I wanted to have spicy sleep, and I

491
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:54,600
Speaker 1: was at a point in my life where I genuinely

492
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:58,159
Speaker 1: did not care or give any f's, so I agreed

493
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:02,160
Speaker 1: I will never forget him, saying that if I got preggers,

494
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:05,440
Speaker 1: he would be there, which I thought was cute when

495
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:07,480
Speaker 1: I was younger, but now it gives me the ick.

496
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:10,080
Speaker 1: Over the course of our relationship, I will admit that

497
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:13,600
Speaker 1: I have not been faithful. I've been having spicy sleep

498
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:17,080
Speaker 1: with my fair partner twenty six for about five years,

499
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,399
Speaker 1: and at the beginning I did try to turn that

500
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:24,159
Speaker 1: into a relationship. At the time, it did feel like

501
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:27,919
Speaker 1: he didn't really want one, so I kept it strictly

502
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:31,400
Speaker 1: spicy related. Bringing it back to my relationship with Scolly,

503
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:34,280
Speaker 1: I did not feel a strong attraction to him at first,

504
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:37,200
Speaker 1: but I love the way he treated me. We went

505
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:39,720
Speaker 1: on dates every Wednesday, and he was always there when

506
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:43,200
Speaker 1: I was in trouble, which made me genuinely enjoy his company.

507
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:46,879
Speaker 1: Eventually I started developing real feelings for him, so I

508
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 1: reduced to how often I saw my affair partner. Not

509
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:53,119
Speaker 1: long after, felt like Scolley suddenly did not want to

510
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:54,960
Speaker 1: have spicy sleep with me anymore.

511
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:56,680
Speaker 3: We used to have spicy sleep.

512
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:59,720
Speaker 1: Every time we saw each other, essentially daily, and while

513
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 1: I know that's not realistic long term, three times a

514
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:06,360
Speaker 1: week in my early mid twenties does not feel unreasonable.

515
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:10,399
Speaker 1: Every time I asked, I was met with later or

516
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:13,160
Speaker 1: not up for it. I assume something might be going

517
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:16,080
Speaker 1: on with his health and gently asked if he was

518
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:19,600
Speaker 1: dealing with EDE since he's older than me, but he

519
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:22,680
Speaker 1: refused to talk about it. Because of how my autism

520
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:26,240
Speaker 1: class ADHD brain works, I came up with what felt

521
00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:28,840
Speaker 1: like a simple solution at the time. I would keep

522
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:32,680
Speaker 1: my home life stable and my spicy leappe fulfilled, even

523
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:35,320
Speaker 1: if that meant getting those needs met elsewhere. If I

524
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:38,920
Speaker 1: tried to break down every issue Scholie and I have had,

525
00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:42,199
Speaker 1: this post would be endless. So I will list the

526
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:45,960
Speaker 1: main ones when I was a living girlfriend and did

527
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,399
Speaker 1: not work for over a year. Even though I handled

528
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 1: everything related to the house, he refused to communicate our

529
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:54,840
Speaker 1: financial situation to me. He would completely shut down anytime

530
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:57,520
Speaker 1: he felt questioned or thought we were arguing.

531
00:24:57,960 --> 00:24:59,680
Speaker 3: I also caught him talking.

532
00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:02,680
Speaker 1: To other women and offered to send them money while

533
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 1: I was donating plasma just defeat us both.

534
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:08,800
Speaker 4: That was like, very informational but also vague at the

535
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,800
Speaker 4: same time, send them money, spend like other women money

536
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:15,240
Speaker 4: for him money other women. So the boyfriend would send

537
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:18,679
Speaker 4: other women money even though OPI was donating plasma to

538
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 4: get money.

539
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:22,119
Speaker 5: Because they were broke. I guess this is weird. It's

540
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:23,280
Speaker 5: just a weird situation.

541
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:27,640
Speaker 1: Yes, I donated plasma for two years during our relationship.

542
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:31,320
Speaker 1: Heavy drinking runs in his family, and when he gets stressed,

543
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:33,840
Speaker 1: he drinks to the point of paying the carpet and

544
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,320
Speaker 1: all over the bathroom. This behavior led to him getting

545
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:39,399
Speaker 1: a duhy while we were together, which was the second

546
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:42,320
Speaker 1: time going to jail during our relationship. I didn't even

547
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:44,639
Speaker 1: know about the first time because a family member told

548
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:47,239
Speaker 1: him not to tell me, thinking I would leave him

549
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:51,199
Speaker 1: if I knew. As unbelievable as it sounds, that is

550
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:55,080
Speaker 1: exactly what happened. Fast forward to about two weeks ago

551
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,640
Speaker 1: when rent was due. Since we moved into my new

552
00:25:57,640 --> 00:25:59,720
Speaker 1: place in July, he had been able to pay rent

553
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:03,080
Speaker 1: without issues because he works full time making eighteen twenty

554
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:06,200
Speaker 1: five an hour. Well, I started working in September, making

555
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 1: seventeen an hour for twenty six hours a week. Ever

556
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:11,720
Speaker 1: since I got it, ever since I got this job,

557
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:15,520
Speaker 1: he suddenly could not pay rent on time. I tried

558
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:18,600
Speaker 1: not to blame him entirely because people at his job

559
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:22,439
Speaker 1: were actively trying to get him fired, but once he

560
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:25,720
Speaker 1: was back working full weeks, I could not understand how

561
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:29,440
Speaker 1: he still had nothing for rent. I ended up having

562
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:32,399
Speaker 1: to make a payment plan with my landlord because I

563
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:36,040
Speaker 1: have been homeless before and refused to make that risk again.

564
00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:38,840
Speaker 1: I had school money from college that I wanted to

565
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 1: use to buy things for myself and update the house.

566
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:44,560
Speaker 1: Because of our history, I chose to set that money

567
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 1: aside and make sure rent was covered. He told me

568
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:49,960
Speaker 1: he did not have the full amount he owed, which

569
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:52,520
Speaker 1: was nine hundred dollars, and I said I would cover

570
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:55,439
Speaker 1: the rest since the total rent was nineteen fifty and

571
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:57,879
Speaker 1: he could pay me back. He then admitted he only

572
00:26:57,960 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 1: had two hundred dollars.

573
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,320
Speaker 4: I'm trying to bargain how much you're willing to cover.

574
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:04,679
Speaker 4: It's like, oh, well, since you're willing.

575
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:08,840
Speaker 5: To pay, I actually I actually only have two hundred hmm,

576
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:10,400
Speaker 5: that's crazy.

577
00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:12,440
Speaker 3: I want to ask where the rest went.

578
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:15,240
Speaker 1: He said he's spent it on random things and could

579
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:17,879
Speaker 1: not even explain what those things were. After that, I

580
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:21,280
Speaker 1: completely felt disrespected and decided to break up with him.

581
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:24,280
Speaker 1: Even though we still live together, he is taking it

582
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:26,720
Speaker 1: very hard and continues to act like we are still

583
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:29,879
Speaker 1: a couple despite knowing we are not. I want to

584
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:32,639
Speaker 1: move out because I am mentally checked out. But the

585
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,400
Speaker 1: day after the breakup, he reminded me of a warning

586
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:38,359
Speaker 1: his dad gave me early on. His dad told me

587
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:40,880
Speaker 1: not to leave Scully because he would pass away over

588
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:45,359
Speaker 1: this relationship. And I truly wish I were exaggerating. Gang

589
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,679
Speaker 1: involvement is part of his past and that fear is

590
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:49,560
Speaker 1: very real to me.

591
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:53,639
Speaker 5: Oh no, what do this mean? What?

592
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:54,200
Speaker 3: What does this mean?

593
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:57,200
Speaker 5: That means that his family is in a gang.

594
00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:00,199
Speaker 4: Probably so it might be dangerous if she leaves him,

595
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:03,040
Speaker 4: because people might try to convince her to stay.

596
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:06,440
Speaker 1: Gosh, I regret not sticking to my original plan and

597
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:09,520
Speaker 1: moving out while he was at work, but I could

598
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:13,360
Speaker 1: not handle pretending anymore. I could not tolerate someone believing

599
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:16,120
Speaker 1: they could treat me however they wanted and still have

600
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:16,800
Speaker 1: access to me.

601
00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:19,480
Speaker 3: You got a lot going on, Opie.

602
00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:20,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, a lot going on.

603
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:25,359
Speaker 4: I wonder if it's possible, if it's possible for you

604
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 4: to move out, do that, If it's possible to get

605
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:31,439
Speaker 4: him booted out and evicted from your apartment because he

606
00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:35,080
Speaker 4: can't pay rent. Yeah, possibly do that if I would

607
00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:37,240
Speaker 4: prefer you moving so that he doesn't know like where

608
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:40,560
Speaker 4: to find you. But this is crazy because it's also

609
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 4: weird that one statement before, like the gang involvement thing,

610
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:47,000
Speaker 4: that was like you have to never leave Scully because

611
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:50,720
Speaker 4: I'll pass away, right, Like that's what it said, that,

612
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:52,040
Speaker 4: like the dad would pass away.

613
00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:53,880
Speaker 1: His dad told me not to leave Scully because he

614
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:57,400
Speaker 1: would die over this relationship. And I truly wish he were.

615
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:00,680
Speaker 1: I truly wish I were exagg writing gang of allment

616
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:02,720
Speaker 1: is part of his past. That fear is very real

617
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:02,960
Speaker 1: to me.

618
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 5: So does she think that someone is like.

619
00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:08,640
Speaker 1: Threatening her or threatening him? I don't know, I'm kind

620
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 1: of confused it. It seems like there's a lot of

621
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:11,480
Speaker 1: confusing parts of this story.

622
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:13,800
Speaker 4: Seems like the threat is on him, But that would

623
00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:17,200
Speaker 4: be a weird threat to say, like, you better keep

624
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:19,600
Speaker 4: your son in that relationship, you better make sure that

625
00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:21,640
Speaker 4: your son's girlfriend doesn't break up with him, or else

626
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 4: I'm gonna get you.

627
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:24,760
Speaker 3: Yeah what, it's a little weird.

628
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:27,040
Speaker 4: It's all very weird. And I think it's good that

629
00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:28,960
Speaker 4: you broke up. Yeah, I think you should get out

630
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:29,840
Speaker 4: of here as fast as you can.

631
00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:32,720
Speaker 1: The breakup has not changed his behavior at all. He

632
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:36,280
Speaker 1: is still affectionate, still trying to have spicy sleep, and

633
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:41,480
Speaker 1: is touch genuinely, genuinely disgusted me. Meanwhile, my fair partner

634
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:44,200
Speaker 1: and I have developed real feelings for each other in

635
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 1: a way that feels organic and mutual. I want to

636
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:49,600
Speaker 1: be with my fair partner, but I do not know

637
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:53,120
Speaker 1: how to leave without skullly getting hurt or potentially unlived.

638
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:55,760
Speaker 1: Why did I stay with someone I clearly did not

639
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:58,760
Speaker 1: like that much? I should have left the moment he

640
00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:00,200
Speaker 1: admitted he approached me becau.

641
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:00,800
Speaker 3: Because of a bet.

642
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 1: I think I grew comfortable with him, and after his

643
00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:06,840
Speaker 1: father passed away. Some things did improve. Still, the financial

644
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 1: instability and booze mistreatment were things I cannot ignore anymore.

645
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:13,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're you're you got to get out of there.

646
00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 1: I don't like how you had somewhat you cheated them

647
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:19,920
Speaker 1: throughout the relationship. Yeah, but for your own safety, you

648
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:20,840
Speaker 1: just got to get out of there.

649
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:22,720
Speaker 5: And that's the end of this story.

650
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:26,440
Speaker 4: We're going on to the next one. My girlfriend prohibited

651
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:30,040
Speaker 4: me from buying a house with the money I religiously save.

652
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:31,520
Speaker 3: Maybe she's trying to buy you a house.

653
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:34,040
Speaker 4: I twenty nine male, have been dating my girlfriend, twenty

654
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:36,800
Speaker 4: five female for a little over a year. I don't

655
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 4: live with her, she doesn't work because she doesn't want

656
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:42,200
Speaker 4: to and relies on her parents. Things are mostly okay,

657
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:44,960
Speaker 4: but we're hitting a big disagreement that I can't shake.

658
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:46,600
Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from.

659
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:48,960
Speaker 4: New Break one And if you want to submit your

660
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,200
Speaker 4: own stories, go to the r slash Okay story dumb

661
00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:53,760
Speaker 4: sub reddit. And I'm Angie, I'm Riley, and we're here

662
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:56,080
Speaker 4: to give good advice. Goofily, But we don't have all

663
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:57,800
Speaker 4: the answers. We just know what we would do in

664
00:30:57,840 --> 00:30:59,640
Speaker 4: these situations. So let us know what you do In

665
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:03,640
Speaker 4: the comment, NOP says, I've been saving aggressively for a while,

666
00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:07,280
Speaker 4: and I've finally been and I'm finally in a position

667
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,440
Speaker 4: where I could buy a small house or townhouse on

668
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:12,240
Speaker 4: my own. Down payment is mine, mortgage would be in

669
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:14,760
Speaker 4: my name, and I'd be fully responsible for it. When

670
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:17,880
Speaker 4: I told my girlfriend, she immediately shut it down. What

671
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:21,040
Speaker 4: she says, it's a huge life decision that affects both

672
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:23,320
Speaker 4: of us, and that I shouldn't do it unless we're

673
00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:26,200
Speaker 4: married or buying together. She also said it would make

674
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:28,360
Speaker 4: her feel like she has no say in our future

675
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:30,520
Speaker 4: and that it puts pressure on her to move in

676
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:33,680
Speaker 4: on my term. From my side, I'm not asking her

677
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:36,440
Speaker 4: to pay anything. I'm not forcing her to move in.

678
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:39,240
Speaker 4: I see it as a smart financial move and something

679
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:41,200
Speaker 4: that I've worked hard for. I don't want to keep

680
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:43,720
Speaker 4: renting just because I'm in a relationship that may or

681
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:46,480
Speaker 4: may not last forever. I also don't like the idea

682
00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:49,880
Speaker 4: of delaying my goals waiting for some day. Now it's

683
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:52,800
Speaker 4: turned into arguments where she says I'm being selfish and

684
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:56,000
Speaker 4: acting single, and I feel like she's trying to control

685
00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:57,960
Speaker 4: what I do with my own money. I get that

686
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 4: it impacts the relationship, But I don't think that means

687
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:03,080
Speaker 4: that I need permission to buy property I can afford.

688
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:06,320
Speaker 1: She's afraid that you're gonna ask her to be his

689
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:09,640
Speaker 1: wife and you're not ready to settle down yet.

690
00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:11,480
Speaker 3: I'm getting that vibe.

691
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:13,120
Speaker 5: And that like she's not ready to settle down.

692
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:16,360
Speaker 4: I guess yeah, she's probably thinking that, like because she

693
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:18,520
Speaker 4: doesn't have her own money, then she's gonna have to

694
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:22,920
Speaker 4: move into wherever he is eventually, and she's like, whoa, whoa, whoa,

695
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:23,440
Speaker 4: I'm not.

696
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:24,120
Speaker 5: Ready for that.

697
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:27,680
Speaker 4: It's like, well, good thing, it's not happening because it's

698
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:30,360
Speaker 4: a smart investment to have house. Then he could sell

699
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:32,920
Speaker 4: the house and possibly get something that you both like.

700
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:34,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, this like does.

701
00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:36,719
Speaker 5: Not affect the relationship right now. It's crazy.

702
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 4: OPI says, what do I do? And there are some comments.

703
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:43,840
Speaker 4: Comment number one says things are mostly okay. I don't

704
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:46,520
Speaker 4: make big life decisions with someone who I view in

705
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:49,120
Speaker 4: that way. Might be time to move on, it's only

706
00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:51,920
Speaker 4: been a year. Comment two says yes, if that's the

707
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:54,520
Speaker 4: way O P describes as a relationship kind of tells

708
00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:57,120
Speaker 4: us everything, get the house, you can always sell it

709
00:32:57,160 --> 00:32:59,640
Speaker 4: and move into a different home if the relationship goes somewhere,

710
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 4: and three says, good for you for saving for a house.

711
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:05,440
Speaker 4: By the house super weird that she can't be happy

712
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:09,360
Speaker 4: for you, Opie says, I'm so excited for buying. I've

713
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:12,920
Speaker 4: been waiting for this moment. I'm also weirded out by

714
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 4: it as well. She seems so mad at me. Coming

715
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:18,600
Speaker 4: Number four says she wants you to wait until you're

716
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:21,480
Speaker 4: married so she can have partial claim or something. That's

717
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:25,040
Speaker 4: just my guess. Another response says mostly like this. I

718
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:27,440
Speaker 4: don't know where you live, Ope, but in many countries

719
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:30,720
Speaker 4: the standard asset structure for marriages is that you share

720
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:33,400
Speaker 4: fifty to fifty of everything that you acquire during the marriage,

721
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 4: but each spouse would keep one hundred percent of what

722
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:38,840
Speaker 4: they bought or brought into the marriage, like your house

723
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:41,960
Speaker 4: in case of divorce. Maybe she wants claim to half

724
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,160
Speaker 4: of your house if you ever get married then divorce

725
00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:47,400
Speaker 4: and there is an update. But that would be crazy

726
00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:51,240
Speaker 4: if that's her mindset. She's like, I'm already planning getting

727
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:53,920
Speaker 4: divorced from you in the future, so I don't want

728
00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:56,440
Speaker 4: you to have the house like what that might not

729
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 4: be it, But this.

730
00:33:57,720 --> 00:33:59,840
Speaker 3: Is very weird. That could be a play.

731
00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm having a hard time thinking of an assumption

732
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:05,840
Speaker 1: or like a something that could actually be happening.

733
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:08,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like an explanation for this, I don't have one.

734
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:10,440
Speaker 3: I just don't think she's ready to settle. That's my

735
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:10,879
Speaker 3: only thing.

736
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:12,280
Speaker 5: I think it's very possible.

737
00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:17,680
Speaker 4: I think she's probably scared for her future and maybe

738
00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:21,400
Speaker 4: threatened by how successful OP is, and she's like already

739
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:23,440
Speaker 4: put herself since she doesn't want to work. She's like

740
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:25,560
Speaker 4: already putting herself in the position of like a stay

741
00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:28,600
Speaker 4: at home mom or something and thinking like, well, when

742
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:31,399
Speaker 4: I am there, like even though you make the money,

743
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:33,839
Speaker 4: like you're still gonna have to consult with me on

744
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:37,080
Speaker 4: these decisions, and you're not showing.

745
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:37,920
Speaker 5: Me that that's what you're gonna do.

746
00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:40,560
Speaker 4: It's like, girl, you're twenty five and you're choosing not

747
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:43,000
Speaker 4: to have a job because you don't want to. Yeah,

748
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:45,479
Speaker 4: that's such a red flag, such a red flag, because

749
00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:45,839
Speaker 4: then if.

750
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:47,600
Speaker 5: You're living off your parents, you're gonna expect to live

751
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:49,200
Speaker 5: off of me. But we have an update here.

752
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:51,759
Speaker 4: I spent a long time reading through the responses and

753
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:54,200
Speaker 4: honestly just got overwhelmed at some point it hit me

754
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:56,640
Speaker 4: that this isn't just about a house. This is a

755
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:59,120
Speaker 4: much deeper issue than I wanted to admit. I didn't

756
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:01,800
Speaker 4: sleep at all U last night. I kept replaying everything

757
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:04,880
Speaker 4: and realizing how foolish I've been in this relationship. Around

758
00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:06,600
Speaker 4: the middle of the night, I had a full panic

759
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 4: attack and ended up driving to my parents' house. I

760
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:11,759
Speaker 4: woke them up and told them everything. They didn't even

761
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:13,879
Speaker 4: know most of this was going on. They've always seen

762
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:16,560
Speaker 4: me as independent and assumed I had things under control.

763
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:20,080
Speaker 4: Clearly I didn't. I had to admit some hard truths

764
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:23,640
Speaker 4: to myself. I don't really have friends. I was naive, depressed,

765
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:25,879
Speaker 4: and had low self esteem. I met the first woman

766
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 4: at a local bar who showed me affection, and I

767
00:35:28,239 --> 00:35:31,320
Speaker 4: clung to that, thinking that that was just how relationships worked.

768
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:34,080
Speaker 4: Deep down, the reason I was so unsure about everything

769
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:36,560
Speaker 4: is because of her lack of ambition and drive. And

770
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:39,440
Speaker 4: I hate to admit this, but I'm also at faults

771
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 4: because I tolerated it. I spent money I shouldn't have.

772
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:45,799
Speaker 4: I indirectly encouraged behavior I wasn't okay with a lot

773
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:48,280
Speaker 4: of you. Basically gave the wake up call that I needed.

774
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:51,359
Speaker 4: I've never really dated before. I kept my head down,

775
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:54,360
Speaker 4: got my computer science degree, landed a high paying job,

776
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:57,120
Speaker 4: and just kept grinding. The cost of that was my

777
00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:01,040
Speaker 4: social skills and emotional awareness. That pain built up quietly,

778
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:04,280
Speaker 4: and whenever it surfaced, my go to solution was calling

779
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:08,320
Speaker 4: her over so it would temporarily go away. It's obviously

780
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:09,440
Speaker 4: not a long term solution.

781
00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 1: Glad you're having this kind of reflection. Yeah, smart, it needed, Yes, Yeah,

782
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:16,680
Speaker 1: it sucks.

783
00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:20,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I mean you're definitely not alone in like

784
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:23,799
Speaker 4: having your first relationship, accepting bad things for how they

785
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:25,880
Speaker 4: are because you think that's just how it's done, and

786
00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:29,400
Speaker 4: then learning from it. Like the biggest group thing is

787
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:30,400
Speaker 4: that you're learning from it.

788
00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:32,799
Speaker 5: That's awesome, So proud of you.

789
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:35,120
Speaker 1: You gotta do the friend method. If you're having oh,

790
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:37,560
Speaker 1: this is how relationships should work. Would you want your

791
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:39,960
Speaker 1: friend to go through that? Would you say something if

792
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:42,440
Speaker 1: your friend went through that? Yeah, say something to yourself.

793
00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:44,200
Speaker 3: That's what you're going through right right.

794
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:45,120
Speaker 5: Absolutely.

795
00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:47,840
Speaker 4: I did try therapy before, but I didn't feel comfortable

796
00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:49,959
Speaker 4: with my therapist and I ended up dropping it. After

797
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:52,239
Speaker 4: last night, I realized that I need to try again

798
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:54,640
Speaker 4: with someone else. I called her in the late morning

799
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:56,440
Speaker 4: and asked her to come to my apartment tomorrow.

800
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:57,520
Speaker 5: Actually meeting at.

801
00:36:57,440 --> 00:37:00,200
Speaker 4: A public place like a park might be a better idea.

802
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:03,759
Speaker 4: I'll change my plans for an important discussion. I'm going

803
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 4: to break up with her tomorrow. I need today to

804
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:09,640
Speaker 4: calm down, collect my thoughts, and stop spiraling. I'm still

805
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:12,920
Speaker 4: moving forward with buying my house soon. This whole thing hurts,

806
00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:15,640
Speaker 4: but I feel like I'm finally choosing myself instead of

807
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:19,360
Speaker 4: avoiding discomfort. There are some comments come at. One says, oh, p,

808
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:23,200
Speaker 4: I'm so glad for you. It's painful but necessary. Dating

809
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:25,960
Speaker 4: someone who doesn't have the same values and goals or heck,

810
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:27,000
Speaker 4: any goals.

811
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:29,200
Speaker 5: Will never work. Leave this relationship and then work on

812
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:30,480
Speaker 5: your relationship with yourself.

813
00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:33,719
Speaker 4: Come your own best friend, make plans, execute goals, hit

814
00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 4: the gym and do some wellness stuff. Dating will come

815
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:39,320
Speaker 4: and you'll meet someone fantastic as.

816
00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:40,600
Speaker 5: You learn to treat yourself.

817
00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:43,680
Speaker 4: Either way, wait and you'll meet someone fantastic as you

818
00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:46,680
Speaker 4: learn to treat yourself better, which is the way we're

819
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:49,839
Speaker 4: with the love that you've been giving someone ungrateful. One

820
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:53,400
Speaker 4: more comment, Comment two says that girls' parents have failed

821
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:55,719
Speaker 4: and still are failing her. She is an adult now,

822
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:57,880
Speaker 4: so she is to blame for her decision, good decision

823
00:37:57,880 --> 00:37:58,799
Speaker 4: to move forward and.

824
00:37:58,719 --> 00:37:59,279
Speaker 5: Break up with her.

825
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:00,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely agreed.

826
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:02,839
Speaker 5: I mean, yeah, she's definitely using you.

827
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 3: She was, and she was being so weird about everything.

828
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:09,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, very much like the fact that she's just planning

829
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:13,560
Speaker 4: to like mooch off of you when that hasn't even happened,

830
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:15,799
Speaker 4: that you haven't even asked her to move in, it

831
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:17,520
Speaker 4: might not happen. It was kind of like a self

832
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:20,040
Speaker 4: fulfilling prophecy. She was like, I need to be able

833
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:21,799
Speaker 4: to make these decisions so that he doesn't break up

834
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:24,319
Speaker 4: with me, and then in that she gave him a

835
00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 4: reason to break up with her.

836
00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:27,840
Speaker 3: Guys, you're broken up. Yep. I think you did the

837
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:28,720
Speaker 3: right choice, Sophie.

838
00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:31,040
Speaker 4: And that's the end of this story. We're going on

839
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:31,759
Speaker 4: to the next one.

840
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:35,279
Speaker 1: I refuse to let my boyfriend move in with me

841
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 1: because he just likes my dog.

842
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:39,560
Speaker 5: That's pretty important. You gotta like all the roommates.

843
00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:43,400
Speaker 1: I twenty eight female live alone with my dog. Well female,

844
00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:46,760
Speaker 1: let's call her Nina. She is my baby. I found

845
00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:48,799
Speaker 1: her and her siblings when they were about two weeks

846
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:51,279
Speaker 1: old and cared for them, for only two of them

847
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:54,240
Speaker 1: to survive sadly, but I have to admit I spoiled

848
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:57,239
Speaker 1: her since the beginning because she barely made it. By

849
00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:58,920
Speaker 1: the way, this comes from Purple Hair eighteen and if

850
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:00,000
Speaker 1: you were to being your old stories, go to the

851
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:02,560
Speaker 1: arsash okay short, I'm suber at it, I'm Riley.

852
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:03,879
Speaker 5: Amanngie, and we're here to give good advice.

853
00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:06,960
Speaker 3: Goofuley, not real advice. If you guys got any real advice,

854
00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:08,319
Speaker 3: do his favor and put it down.

855
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:11,799
Speaker 1: In the comments, Opie says, my boyfriend, thirty Mel still

856
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:14,960
Speaker 1: lives with his mom, which is not abnormal in our culture,

857
00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:18,080
Speaker 1: but lately they've been fighting a lot because his sister

858
00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:21,239
Speaker 1: moved back in with her with her kids, and he

859
00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:22,440
Speaker 1: doesn't have much space.

860
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:24,520
Speaker 3: He has a very good job, so.

861
00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:27,319
Speaker 1: He can realistically move out and be alone, but he's

862
00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:30,120
Speaker 1: very insistent in wanting to move in with me. We've

863
00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:32,640
Speaker 1: been only dating for eight months and I don't think

864
00:39:32,719 --> 00:39:35,960
Speaker 1: we're there yet. Also, every time he visits he complains

865
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:38,680
Speaker 1: about something Nina does. He got mad the other night

866
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:40,960
Speaker 1: because he wanted to sleep over and wanted me to

867
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:43,400
Speaker 1: punt Nina out of the bed and I refuse, And

868
00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:45,400
Speaker 1: I told him before if he doesn't like it, he

869
00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:48,160
Speaker 1: can literally just break up with me. I'm not changing

870
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:50,759
Speaker 1: mine or Nina's life just because he doesn't want to

871
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 1: move out alone. Well, on Friday, he got into a

872
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:56,040
Speaker 1: big fight with his family because one of his nephews

873
00:39:56,080 --> 00:40:00,080
Speaker 1: grabs his Nintendo switch and damaged it or something, and

874
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:02,919
Speaker 1: he came back to my place with all his things packed,

875
00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:06,680
Speaker 1: pretending to just stay over without telling me, and immediately

876
00:40:06,719 --> 00:40:09,520
Speaker 1: trying to change things around. He said, Nina can sleep

877
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:12,160
Speaker 1: in the floor in our room or in the living room,

878
00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:13,280
Speaker 1: but he ain't living.

879
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:14,560
Speaker 3: With a dog who is on the furniture.

880
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:17,160
Speaker 1: Wow, he's getting a lot of demands for God, they

881
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:18,160
Speaker 1: ain't got nowhere.

882
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:20,560
Speaker 5: To go, absolutely, I guess.

883
00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:23,120
Speaker 4: I like, at the very least, you got to sleep

884
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:25,880
Speaker 4: on the couch now. Sorry, my dog's sleeping embedded me.

885
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:27,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's that's how it goes.

886
00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:32,440
Speaker 5: Skin your own place, guy, Yeah, all over a broken switch.

887
00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:33,120
Speaker 5: Come on.

888
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:35,719
Speaker 1: To make the long story short, I came out and

889
00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:37,520
Speaker 1: told him he never even asked if he can come over,

890
00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:40,840
Speaker 1: and Nina lives here, he doesn't. He yelled a lot

891
00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:43,320
Speaker 1: and got even more mad when I didn't react, you

892
00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:46,160
Speaker 1: left and has been texting me from a hotel telling

893
00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:49,840
Speaker 1: me he's losing money because I mean and a bad girlfriend.

894
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:52,279
Speaker 1: I told him we'll talk again once he gets his

895
00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:55,160
Speaker 1: own place. I told my friends about it, and some

896
00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:57,400
Speaker 1: of them were on my side. The other said I

897
00:40:57,480 --> 00:41:01,000
Speaker 1: was patronizing, but other said I was prioritizing a dog

898
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:04,480
Speaker 1: over a human, And yes, maybe, but is that wrong?

899
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:08,680
Speaker 1: I started doubting myself. But I'm not really willing to

900
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:11,440
Speaker 1: make my dog suffer because he can't adopt her or

901
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:12,360
Speaker 1: find his own place.

902
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:13,520
Speaker 3: So am I the a hole?

903
00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:14,040
Speaker 8: Yeah?

904
00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:15,000
Speaker 3: You're not the ahole?

905
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:17,920
Speaker 4: No, definitely not, because I don't really think that would

906
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:21,239
Speaker 4: make your dog suffer, like not sleeping in bed with

907
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:24,400
Speaker 4: you and sleeping somewhere else. But it's definitely like still

908
00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:26,760
Speaker 4: not cool. I mean, this is how you were choosing

909
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:29,400
Speaker 4: to live your life with the dog that you have

910
00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:32,439
Speaker 4: chosen and taken care of, and he's just like coming

911
00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:34,360
Speaker 4: in here and trying to make all of these demands

912
00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:36,399
Speaker 4: when he didn't even tell her that he was coming

913
00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:39,080
Speaker 4: over or ask Yeah, he just showed up and started

914
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:41,920
Speaker 4: boston her around, Like, no, this is how you want

915
00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:42,600
Speaker 4: to live your life.

916
00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:45,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, you gotta get out of there. We're gonna read

917
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:47,799
Speaker 1: one comment here or two comments here, comment five. Those

918
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:51,239
Speaker 1: friends who think you were overreacting are wrong. They're rather

919
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:54,040
Speaker 1: dumb too, and they probably think the same way as

920
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:57,000
Speaker 1: you're sued to be ex about your dog. That idiot

921
00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:59,359
Speaker 1: you were dating is not a good person. I can

922
00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:03,280
Speaker 1: promise you he is entitled, controlling, immature piece of crap.

923
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:05,399
Speaker 1: He wants to move in with you so you can

924
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:08,000
Speaker 1: cook for him, clean after him, do his dishes, wash

925
00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:10,479
Speaker 1: his clothes, et cetera, et cetera. He needs a woman,

926
00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:13,239
Speaker 1: you to play mommy to him. I also promise you

927
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:15,480
Speaker 1: that he will never ever help you with anything in

928
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:19,040
Speaker 1: the house. Don't that trash. Never ever betray your dog,

929
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:22,279
Speaker 1: especially not over a filthy, worthless piece of garbage like

930
00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:23,560
Speaker 1: your boy friend. I was about to say, I feel

931
00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:25,239
Speaker 1: like he wants to move in with her so he

932
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:27,279
Speaker 1: can so she can take care of him because he

933
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:29,360
Speaker 1: live with his mom and his mom's doing all this

934
00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:29,920
Speaker 1: stuff for him.

935
00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:31,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then I was like, oh, I need I

936
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:32,640
Speaker 3: need a mom. Now tell me.

937
00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:35,120
Speaker 6: He's like, oh nohew, he broke my sweat.

938
00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:37,040
Speaker 2: God, I was gonna play that all day.

939
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:39,280
Speaker 5: Tomorrow in all week because they don't have a job.

940
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:40,800
Speaker 5: I don't know if he doesn't.

941
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:42,439
Speaker 3: Have a job, but yeah, he has a very good one.

942
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:45,279
Speaker 5: Okay, well, but he can't live on his own neck.

943
00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:46,680
Speaker 3: He says. Honestly, it surprised me.

944
00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:49,160
Speaker 1: He thinks I'll do chores because he knows I won't

945
00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:52,400
Speaker 1: do it unless I don't have any other options. Oh, PI,

946
00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:55,279
Speaker 1: on your dog Nina. She is as big as a

947
00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:59,560
Speaker 1: Corgie and very round, brownish grayish hair with points of ears,

948
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:02,920
Speaker 1: and she has eyebrow so she is very expressive. Loo

949
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:05,799
Speaker 1: and we have an update eight days later. To make

950
00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:07,600
Speaker 1: a very long story short, I.

951
00:43:07,600 --> 00:43:08,359
Speaker 3: Broke up with him.

952
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:10,719
Speaker 1: Good good, you were about to play mommy for the

953
00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:13,040
Speaker 1: next however long if you did have him come in.

954
00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:13,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, I didn't.

955
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:16,120
Speaker 1: Feel like being a mature person, so I sent him

956
00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:19,240
Speaker 1: a text back and then blocked him again. He decided

957
00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:21,359
Speaker 1: it was a good idea to get wasted and tried

958
00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:23,520
Speaker 1: to break into my building and I had the security

959
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:26,560
Speaker 1: pun him out. I already removed him from the visitors list,

960
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:29,080
Speaker 1: so there's no issue there, and I decide to talk

961
00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:31,320
Speaker 1: to my boss just in case he tries anything stupid

962
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:34,799
Speaker 1: as Ernina. She's spoiled as ever even more now we're

963
00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:38,040
Speaker 1: preparing for the fireworks on Christmas and New Year's. I

964
00:43:38,080 --> 00:43:40,799
Speaker 1: have some blankets, ear plugs, and her favorite treats just

965
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:45,320
Speaker 1: in case. And that's the update. Nothing particularly dramatic, just immature,

966
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:48,120
Speaker 1: I guess loo, I think that's all for now. And yeah,

967
00:43:48,239 --> 00:43:50,000
Speaker 1: I mean the fact that he got drunk to try

968
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:51,439
Speaker 1: to come over to your place, what the heck?

969
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:54,399
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, he's just dangerous too, and you're just giving

970
00:43:54,440 --> 00:43:56,680
Speaker 4: me more reason to think that we should.

971
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:56,960
Speaker 5: Be broken up.

972
00:43:57,160 --> 00:43:58,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, honestly.

973
00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:00,440
Speaker 4: And that's the end of this story. We're going on

974
00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:04,680
Speaker 4: to the next one. Hey, it's Angie, your favorite Riley's

975
00:44:04,719 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 4: girlfriend is here.

976
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:07,600
Speaker 5: We're going to get back to the stories.

977
00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:10,080
Speaker 6: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

978
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:15,000
Speaker 2: My coworker kept pushing his alpha behavior, so I clap back.

979
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:17,120
Speaker 2: What you all fib bro am I the a hole

980
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:20,840
Speaker 2: for showing my coworker what just being honest can be. Like,

981
00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:23,120
Speaker 2: I don't know how else to put it, because it

982
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:26,200
Speaker 2: is a weird situation. By the way, this comes from

983
00:44:26,239 --> 00:44:28,480
Speaker 2: No Reflection seven one four nine. And if you want

984
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:30,880
Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay, storytime,

985
00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:33,600
Speaker 2: supard it. I'm Sophia and I'm Vincent, and we're here

986
00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:34,200
Speaker 2: to give good advice.

987
00:44:34,239 --> 00:44:35,640
Speaker 6: Goofley, But we don't have all the answers.

988
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:36,319
Speaker 5: We only know what.

989
00:44:36,239 --> 00:44:38,040
Speaker 2: We'd do, So let us know what you would do

990
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:42,440
Speaker 2: in the comments and op sets. I twenty six females,

991
00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:45,680
Speaker 2: started working at my job six months ago, and I

992
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:49,600
Speaker 2: immediately realized it was a horrible work environment. The men

993
00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:52,440
Speaker 2: act like they are still in a frat house or something.

994
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:55,680
Speaker 2: There's one guy in particular who feels like they're evil leader.

995
00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:59,200
Speaker 2: Let's call him Jake thirty ish. He claims he's just

996
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:02,880
Speaker 2: honest and always talks about free speech or how he

997
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:04,920
Speaker 2: just is the first thing that comes to his mind.

998
00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:08,640
Speaker 2: According to me, he is simply disrespectful and a bad person.

999
00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:11,520
Speaker 2: I started looking for a new job three months ago,

1000
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:14,040
Speaker 2: but have not had any luck finding one with the

1001
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:17,239
Speaker 2: same pay, so I'm still here. As I said, he

1002
00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:20,960
Speaker 2: is cruel and mean with everyone, especially women and a

1003
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:24,360
Speaker 2: couple of guys who are not alpha enough. For more context,

1004
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:26,880
Speaker 2: I have ADHD and other issues, and I struggled a

1005
00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:29,200
Speaker 2: lot as a teen and in my early twenties to

1006
00:45:29,239 --> 00:45:32,759
Speaker 2: be kind to people. And myself. I still sometimes have

1007
00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 2: the impulse to say all the mean things that come

1008
00:45:35,200 --> 00:45:37,600
Speaker 2: to mind, but I worked hard in therapy to stop

1009
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:40,960
Speaker 2: those thoughts and redirect myself elsewhere. Because of that, his

1010
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:43,880
Speaker 2: behavior hits a nerve for me. Anyway, I decided to

1011
00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:47,080
Speaker 2: give him the same treatment he gives everyone after he

1012
00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:50,239
Speaker 2: told the pregnant coworker that he couldn't understand that her

1013
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:52,799
Speaker 2: husband hadn't cheated on her yet because she's a cow

1014
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:55,799
Speaker 2: Now I started about three weeks ago. He came to

1015
00:45:55,840 --> 00:45:58,239
Speaker 2: talk to me and told me I'm basically a duke

1016
00:45:58,280 --> 00:45:59,640
Speaker 2: because I don't have a chest.

1017
00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:04,680
Speaker 8: That's hr right away? Is out of that company?

1018
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:09,040
Speaker 2: Yeah? Absolutely, And I replied, Jake, are you balding? Or

1019
00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:12,120
Speaker 2: was your forehead always that inhumanly big? And so on?

1020
00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:18,200
Speaker 8: My man's dreaming and imax nice nice soapee. Yes, we

1021
00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:19,160
Speaker 8: love it, we love it.

1022
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:22,080
Speaker 2: Yesterday we were talking with a few coworkers about all

1023
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:24,040
Speaker 2: the food I cooked for New Years. Because I tend

1024
00:46:24,040 --> 00:46:27,000
Speaker 2: to go overboard, they were impressed with my dinner. He

1025
00:46:27,080 --> 00:46:31,560
Speaker 2: came over started saying nonsense and throwing insults. So I said, see,

1026
00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:34,239
Speaker 2: this is exactly why your daddy left you. And then

1027
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:37,279
Speaker 2: I continued with my conversation, like nothing happened. He went

1028
00:46:37,320 --> 00:46:39,400
Speaker 2: to HR, and now I have an appointment with them

1029
00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:43,080
Speaker 2: on Thursday. If he can go to HR and complain

1030
00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:45,719
Speaker 2: about your comments, then perhaps we could have gone to

1031
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:46,640
Speaker 2: HR first.

1032
00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:49,200
Speaker 8: Yeah, and I think you should go to HR. You

1033
00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:51,319
Speaker 8: should go to that meeting and be like, well, yeah,

1034
00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:53,560
Speaker 8: he's kind of an on my nerves because he's been

1035
00:46:53,719 --> 00:46:55,680
Speaker 8: making comments about my body.

1036
00:46:55,760 --> 00:46:58,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, and other women's bodies in the office like that.

1037
00:46:59,239 --> 00:47:01,960
Speaker 8: Oh you should. You could totally flip this back on

1038
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:02,680
Speaker 8: this guy.

1039
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:02,839
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1040
00:47:03,120 --> 00:47:05,680
Speaker 2: However, my coworkers said they would support me, and they

1041
00:47:05,719 --> 00:47:10,360
Speaker 2: decided to file complaints against Jake and formally document his behavior.

1042
00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:13,560
Speaker 8: Heck, yeah, absolutely love it. Also, you don't want to

1043
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:16,520
Speaker 8: what's the most alpha move running to someone when they

1044
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:21,640
Speaker 8: hurt their Fhe yeah, I'm telling on you to me,

1045
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:26,040
Speaker 8: I'm alpha, a big I'm a big dog me.

1046
00:47:26,640 --> 00:47:29,680
Speaker 6: My daddy will get involved if he was here, but

1047
00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:30,319
Speaker 6: he was me.

1048
00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:34,480
Speaker 2: Apparently they had already complained before, but HR just gave

1049
00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:37,320
Speaker 2: him a slap on the wrist. Now they're angry because

1050
00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:40,600
Speaker 2: HR suddenly wants to talk to me. So vast I

1051
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:43,440
Speaker 2: am not particularly scared about the appointment, but I do

1052
00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:46,279
Speaker 2: wonder if I went a little too far. Yes, he

1053
00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:48,880
Speaker 2: started it, but I usually do not lower myself to

1054
00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:51,640
Speaker 2: bullies levels. At the same time, I really did not

1055
00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:54,680
Speaker 2: see any other way when HR never did anything about

1056
00:47:54,680 --> 00:47:57,520
Speaker 2: the complaints. I do not really want to apologize to him,

1057
00:47:57,920 --> 00:48:00,600
Speaker 2: but I will if I crossed a line. As I said,

1058
00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:02,920
Speaker 2: I work hard in therapy to be as decent to

1059
00:48:03,040 --> 00:48:05,080
Speaker 2: human as I can be, and maybe this was not

1060
00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:07,440
Speaker 2: the best way to handle of this. So am I

1061
00:48:07,520 --> 00:48:10,240
Speaker 2: the A hole? And there are some comments.

1062
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:10,640
Speaker 6: But what do you think?

1063
00:48:10,840 --> 00:48:14,239
Speaker 8: I think if HR has been told this before, you

1064
00:48:14,480 --> 00:48:18,480
Speaker 8: have a potentially million dollar case on your hands. I

1065
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:20,759
Speaker 8: agree with multiple people.

1066
00:48:20,520 --> 00:48:25,320
Speaker 2: Harassment claims right there, especially because you are only reacting

1067
00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:28,960
Speaker 2: after finding like you know that where with the knowledge

1068
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:31,919
Speaker 2: that HR has done nothing when faced with complaints about

1069
00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:34,920
Speaker 2: this guy before. You're completely absolved.

1070
00:48:34,640 --> 00:48:38,040
Speaker 8: From multiple other people too. You Oh, you are in

1071
00:48:38,080 --> 00:48:42,040
Speaker 8: a position mm hmm to just take these people for

1072
00:48:42,080 --> 00:48:42,799
Speaker 8: whatever they're worth.

1073
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:46,920
Speaker 2: Yep, Danabsa says, not the A hole. If HR requires

1074
00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:50,200
Speaker 2: an apology, you can always worry the apology properly. I

1075
00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:52,759
Speaker 2: am sorry I made fun of your large forehead. I

1076
00:48:52,800 --> 00:48:55,400
Speaker 2: see now that going bald is making you uncomfortable, and

1077
00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:56,880
Speaker 2: I will not mention it again.

1078
00:48:57,600 --> 00:48:58,680
Speaker 8: I like the pettiness of that.

1079
00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:02,719
Speaker 2: That yeah, I got nothing, says also, I'm genuinely sorry

1080
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:06,480
Speaker 2: your father left you. Danukian says, I'm very sorry both

1081
00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:09,319
Speaker 2: your father and your hair left you. It seems to

1082
00:49:09,360 --> 00:49:13,160
Speaker 2: be a pattern, a male pattern. I'm so sorry. Electric

1083
00:49:13,239 --> 00:49:16,799
Speaker 2: Speculum says, I'm glad that you're willing to take unsolicited

1084
00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:20,160
Speaker 2: comments about body parts seriously, especially since mine was in

1085
00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:23,840
Speaker 2: response to him making a particularly hurtful and unsolicited comment

1086
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:27,880
Speaker 2: about my body. This feels like harassment, and I was

1087
00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:31,279
Speaker 2: attempting to show Jake how it feels without commenting on

1088
00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:35,279
Speaker 2: his private parts, so he would cease his repeated and

1089
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:40,360
Speaker 2: unwanted intimidation. Angela Kax says, HR reacted because you're a woman.

1090
00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:43,360
Speaker 2: Called them out. Ask them to explain why you're getting

1091
00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:47,160
Speaker 2: this response when he's been walking around terrorizing everyone since

1092
00:49:47,200 --> 00:49:53,160
Speaker 2: he started. Use the terms hostile work environments, some bullying,

1093
00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:56,640
Speaker 2: and personal grievance. Before you go in, speak to an

1094
00:49:56,640 --> 00:49:59,400
Speaker 2: employment lawyer because you do have rights, and if you

1095
00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:01,600
Speaker 2: can't get one before the meeting, then go in and

1096
00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:04,600
Speaker 2: say that you're recording this meeting for your lawyer to review,

1097
00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:08,480
Speaker 2: not the ale. Yeah, there is an update seven days later, but.

1098
00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:10,520
Speaker 8: All of that, all of that, yeah, all of that,

1099
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:16,600
Speaker 8: record everything. Get as much information from other coworkers as well. Yeah,

1100
00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:19,759
Speaker 8: who've dealt with this. The more evidence you come to them,

1101
00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:24,399
Speaker 8: the more they're gonna get scared. Yeah, and they should be. Yeah.

1102
00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:27,399
Speaker 2: Use all those words these commenters said, attack them.

1103
00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:28,239
Speaker 8: Ha hah.

1104
00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:32,839
Speaker 2: Update seven days later. Well, I had my meeting with HR,

1105
00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:35,600
Speaker 2: and it went relatively okay. First of all, I went

1106
00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:38,000
Speaker 2: on detective mode and I found out one of the

1107
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:41,800
Speaker 2: HR guys, Dylan, was related.

1108
00:50:41,200 --> 00:50:47,919
Speaker 9: To Jake collusion. Ooh, you just found a really big little.

1109
00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:50,200
Speaker 8: Golden nugget conflict of interest.

1110
00:50:50,920 --> 00:50:53,680
Speaker 2: Their moms are cousins, so they don't have the same

1111
00:50:53,760 --> 00:50:56,799
Speaker 2: last name or anything. But I found Jake's mom's Facebook

1112
00:50:56,880 --> 00:50:58,200
Speaker 2: and then a picture.

1113
00:50:57,880 --> 00:51:01,040
Speaker 6: With Jake's mom, Dylan and his mom.

1114
00:51:01,400 --> 00:51:04,120
Speaker 2: I screenshot at it and I talked to my supervisor

1115
00:51:04,560 --> 00:51:06,880
Speaker 2: and he decided to come with me to the meeting.

1116
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:11,520
Speaker 2: In the meeting, there was Dylan, his boss, Jake, my supervisor,

1117
00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:14,280
Speaker 2: and me. Dylan tried to lead the meeting and suggested

1118
00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:18,319
Speaker 2: immediate termination, but my supervisor told him we will have

1119
00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:21,560
Speaker 2: our meeting with the other guy because I deserved a

1120
00:51:21,640 --> 00:51:25,840
Speaker 2: neutral meeting and showed both of them the picture. Dylan's

1121
00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:28,680
Speaker 2: face dropped, but he didn't say anything else after that

1122
00:51:28,840 --> 00:51:31,359
Speaker 2: and just left the room. The other HR guy talked

1123
00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:33,440
Speaker 2: to me and my supervisor, and I gave him my

1124
00:51:33,520 --> 00:51:35,960
Speaker 2: story and I gave him twelve notes signed by my

1125
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:39,640
Speaker 2: coworkers where they talked about their experiences with Jake. The

1126
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:43,280
Speaker 2: HR guy called a couple of them, including my pregnant coworker,

1127
00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:46,760
Speaker 2: in his office too after dismissing me, and on Friday,

1128
00:51:46,840 --> 00:51:49,000
Speaker 2: I had another meeting, but it was only me and

1129
00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:52,160
Speaker 2: the HR guy. I talked about how uncomfortable I felt

1130
00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:54,480
Speaker 2: and now everyone tried to do the right thing by

1131
00:51:54,560 --> 00:51:56,920
Speaker 2: reporting him, but they never did anything about it. He

1132
00:51:57,040 --> 00:52:00,160
Speaker 2: said he understood and sadly Dylan was not impartial in

1133
00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:02,960
Speaker 2: his actions by covering for Jake, but that it was

1134
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:05,200
Speaker 2: dealt with. He said I wasn't going to get ridden

1135
00:52:05,280 --> 00:52:07,440
Speaker 2: up or anything and that I'm in the clear. But

1136
00:52:07,480 --> 00:52:10,000
Speaker 2: he asked me to not repeat this, and I told

1137
00:52:10,080 --> 00:52:12,360
Speaker 2: him I wasn't planning on doing it again, and he

1138
00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:16,759
Speaker 2: just told me to go to him if something else happens. Hmmm, Okay, No,

1139
00:52:17,040 --> 00:52:20,040
Speaker 2: that doesn't feel like they really are doing anything about Jake.

1140
00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:23,080
Speaker 8: No, they like you might be in the clear, op,

1141
00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:27,360
Speaker 8: but they are not. They just tried to get you fired. Yeah,

1142
00:52:27,400 --> 00:52:31,920
Speaker 8: that's big, that's really big. You should go after them

1143
00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:35,760
Speaker 8: for that. They tried to go after your job. That's major.

1144
00:52:36,719 --> 00:52:41,840
Speaker 8: If you come to HR with an issue, they cannot retaliate. Yeah,

1145
00:52:41,840 --> 00:52:45,120
Speaker 8: so that is you can. Oh and then that in fact,

1146
00:52:45,360 --> 00:52:46,799
Speaker 8: you're supervisor there with you.

1147
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:47,279
Speaker 9: Yeah.

1148
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:49,759
Speaker 8: Oh, take them for all you get. You're going to

1149
00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:52,880
Speaker 8: get a new job yet one because that settlement is

1150
00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:53,799
Speaker 8: going to be incredible.

1151
00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:56,319
Speaker 2: Get all your money. Yes, yesterday I got to the

1152
00:52:56,320 --> 00:52:59,480
Speaker 2: office and everything was normal, But at noon, my supervisor

1153
00:52:59,520 --> 00:53:02,760
Speaker 2: came to fire me and my pregnant coworker and told

1154
00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:04,759
Speaker 2: us that Jake and Dylan were LECGA.

1155
00:53:04,880 --> 00:53:05,840
Speaker 6: At least that happens.

1156
00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:08,040
Speaker 8: Okay, that's good, positive movement.

1157
00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:10,960
Speaker 2: And Dylan might have some legal troubles with the company,

1158
00:53:11,040 --> 00:53:13,560
Speaker 2: but he couldn't discuss that and asked us not to

1159
00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:15,680
Speaker 2: say anything about it to anyone else and that people

1160
00:53:15,719 --> 00:53:20,279
Speaker 2: would realize about Jake anyway. My coworker kept pushing his

1161
00:53:20,520 --> 00:53:23,520
Speaker 2: alpha behavior, so I clap back what you all fight,

1162
00:53:23,640 --> 00:53:25,960
Speaker 2: bro am I the a hole for showing my coworker

1163
00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:29,320
Speaker 2: what just being honest can be like. I don't know

1164
00:53:29,400 --> 00:53:32,360
Speaker 2: how else to put it, because it is a weird situation.

1165
00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:35,080
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from no Reflection seven one

1166
00:53:35,160 --> 00:53:37,040
Speaker 2: four nine. And if you want to submit your own stories,

1167
00:53:37,080 --> 00:53:39,279
Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay storytime. Subreed it. I'm

1168
00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:41,600
Speaker 2: Sophia and I'm Vincent, and we're here to give good

1169
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:43,400
Speaker 2: advice goofley, But we don't have all the answers. We

1170
00:53:43,440 --> 00:53:45,279
Speaker 2: only know what we'd do, So let us know what

1171
00:53:45,320 --> 00:53:48,719
Speaker 2: you would do in the comments and op sets. I

1172
00:53:49,120 --> 00:53:52,640
Speaker 2: twenty six females started working at my job six months ago,

1173
00:53:52,880 --> 00:53:56,400
Speaker 2: and I immediately realized it was a horrible work environment.

1174
00:53:56,960 --> 00:53:59,280
Speaker 2: The men act like they are still in a frat

1175
00:53:59,320 --> 00:54:02,160
Speaker 2: house or something. There's one guy in particular who feels

1176
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:05,680
Speaker 2: like they're evil leader. Let's call him Jake thirty ish.

1177
00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:09,560
Speaker 2: He claims he's just honest and always talks about free

1178
00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:11,680
Speaker 2: speech or how he just is the first thing that

1179
00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:14,600
Speaker 2: comes to his mind. According to me, he is simply

1180
00:54:14,640 --> 00:54:17,719
Speaker 2: disrespectful and a bad person. I started looking for a

1181
00:54:17,760 --> 00:54:20,799
Speaker 2: new job three months ago, but have not had any luck.

1182
00:54:20,880 --> 00:54:23,479
Speaker 2: Finding one with the same pay, so I'm still here.

1183
00:54:24,080 --> 00:54:27,160
Speaker 2: As I said, he is cruel and mean with everyone,

1184
00:54:27,360 --> 00:54:29,719
Speaker 2: especially women and a couple of guys who are not

1185
00:54:29,920 --> 00:54:33,680
Speaker 2: alpha enough. For more context, I have ADHD and other issues,

1186
00:54:33,719 --> 00:54:35,719
Speaker 2: and I struggled a lot as a teen and in

1187
00:54:35,719 --> 00:54:38,840
Speaker 2: my early twenties to be kind to people and myself.

1188
00:54:39,239 --> 00:54:41,839
Speaker 2: I still sometimes have the impulse to say all the

1189
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:44,279
Speaker 2: mean things that come to mind, but I worked hard

1190
00:54:44,320 --> 00:54:47,600
Speaker 2: in therapy to stop those thoughts and redirect myself elsewhere.

1191
00:54:47,719 --> 00:54:50,600
Speaker 2: Because of that, his behavior hits a nerve for me. Anyway,

1192
00:54:50,680 --> 00:54:53,600
Speaker 2: I decided to give him the same treatment he gives

1193
00:54:53,640 --> 00:54:57,080
Speaker 2: everyone after he told the pregnant coworker that he couldn't

1194
00:54:57,160 --> 00:54:59,719
Speaker 2: understand that her husband hadn't cheated on her yet because

1195
00:54:59,719 --> 00:55:02,719
Speaker 2: she's a cow Now. I started about three weeks ago.

1196
00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:04,719
Speaker 2: He came to talk to me and told me I'm

1197
00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:07,320
Speaker 2: basically a dude because I don't have a chest.

1198
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:12,360
Speaker 8: That's hr right away. He is out of that company.

1199
00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:16,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, And I replied, Jake, are you balding or

1200
00:55:16,840 --> 00:55:19,799
Speaker 2: was your forehead always that inhumanly big? And so on?

1201
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:22,120
Speaker 8: My man's dreaming and imax.

1202
00:55:21,880 --> 00:55:26,239
Speaker 2: Nice nice soapee, Yes, we love it.

1203
00:55:26,320 --> 00:55:26,839
Speaker 8: We love it.

1204
00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:29,719
Speaker 2: Yesterday, we were talking with a few coworkers about all

1205
00:55:29,760 --> 00:55:31,640
Speaker 2: the food I cooked for New Years. Because I tend

1206
00:55:31,719 --> 00:55:34,640
Speaker 2: to go overboard, they were impressed with my dinner. He

1207
00:55:34,719 --> 00:55:39,520
Speaker 2: came over started saying nonsense and throwing insults. So I said, see,

1208
00:55:39,520 --> 00:55:41,920
Speaker 2: this is exactly why your daddy left you, and then

1209
00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:44,960
Speaker 2: I continued with my conversation like nothing happened. He went

1210
00:55:45,000 --> 00:55:47,120
Speaker 2: to HR, and now I have an appointment with them

1211
00:55:47,120 --> 00:55:50,760
Speaker 2: on Thursday. If he can go to HR and complain

1212
00:55:50,800 --> 00:55:53,440
Speaker 2: about your comments, then perhaps we could have gone to

1213
00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:54,280
Speaker 2: HR first.

1214
00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:56,880
Speaker 8: Yeah, and I think you should go to HR. You

1215
00:55:56,880 --> 00:55:59,040
Speaker 8: should go to that meeting and be like, well, yeah,

1216
00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:02,440
Speaker 8: he's kind of an online because he's been making comments

1217
00:56:02,520 --> 00:56:03,320
Speaker 8: about my body.

1218
00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:06,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, and other women's bodies in the office like that.

1219
00:56:06,920 --> 00:56:09,600
Speaker 8: Oh you should. You could totally flip this back on

1220
00:56:09,680 --> 00:56:10,080
Speaker 8: this guy.

1221
00:56:10,320 --> 00:56:10,760
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1222
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:13,359
Speaker 2: However, my coworkers said they would support me, and they

1223
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:18,000
Speaker 2: decided to file complaints against Jake and formally document his behavior.

1224
00:56:18,440 --> 00:56:21,239
Speaker 8: Heck, yeah, absolutely love it. Also, you don't want to

1225
00:56:21,280 --> 00:56:24,239
Speaker 8: what's the most alpha move running to someone when they

1226
00:56:24,280 --> 00:56:29,319
Speaker 8: hurt their phone. Yeah, I'm telling on you. To me,

1227
00:56:29,760 --> 00:56:33,719
Speaker 8: I'm alpha, I'm a big I'm a big dog me.

1228
00:56:34,320 --> 00:56:37,360
Speaker 2: My daddy will get involved if he was here, but

1229
00:56:37,440 --> 00:56:41,319
Speaker 2: he was me. Apparently they had already complained before, but

1230
00:56:41,600 --> 00:56:44,080
Speaker 2: HR just gave him a slap on the wrist. Now

1231
00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:45,040
Speaker 2: they're angry.

1232
00:56:44,719 --> 00:56:46,600
Speaker 6: Because HR suddenly wants to talk to me.

1233
00:56:47,040 --> 00:56:50,600
Speaker 2: So vast. I am not particularly scared about the appointment,

1234
00:56:50,719 --> 00:56:53,799
Speaker 2: but I do wonder if I went a little too far. Yes,

1235
00:56:53,880 --> 00:56:56,440
Speaker 2: he started it, but I usually do not lower myself

1236
00:56:56,480 --> 00:56:59,160
Speaker 2: to bullies levels. At the same time, I really did

1237
00:56:59,200 --> 00:57:02,360
Speaker 2: not see any way when HR never did anything about

1238
00:57:02,360 --> 00:57:05,239
Speaker 2: the complaints. I do not really want to apologize to him,

1239
00:57:05,600 --> 00:57:08,280
Speaker 2: but I will if I crossed a line. As I said,

1240
00:57:08,320 --> 00:57:10,600
Speaker 2: I work hard in therapy to be as decent to

1241
00:57:10,719 --> 00:57:12,719
Speaker 2: human as I can be, and maybe this was not

1242
00:57:12,840 --> 00:57:15,120
Speaker 2: the best way to handle all this. So am I

1243
00:57:15,160 --> 00:57:17,760
Speaker 2: the a hole? And there are some comments, But what.

1244
00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:20,600
Speaker 8: Do you think I think if HR has been told

1245
00:57:20,640 --> 00:57:25,440
Speaker 8: this before, you have a potentially million dollar case on

1246
00:57:25,520 --> 00:57:26,040
Speaker 8: your hands.

1247
00:57:26,040 --> 00:57:31,200
Speaker 2: I agree with multiple people harassment claims right there, especially

1248
00:57:31,320 --> 00:57:35,360
Speaker 2: because you are only reacting after finding like you know that,

1249
00:57:35,480 --> 00:57:38,400
Speaker 2: where with the knowledge that HR has done nothing when

1250
00:57:38,480 --> 00:57:42,520
Speaker 2: faced with complaints about this guy before, you're completely absolved.

1251
00:57:42,320 --> 00:57:43,960
Speaker 8: From multiple other people too.

1252
00:57:44,160 --> 00:57:44,280
Speaker 2: You.

1253
00:57:44,760 --> 00:57:48,400
Speaker 8: Oh, you are in a position mm hmm to just

1254
00:57:48,640 --> 00:57:50,439
Speaker 8: take these people for whatever they're worth.

1255
00:57:50,600 --> 00:57:50,840
Speaker 4: Yep.

1256
00:57:50,920 --> 00:57:55,240
Speaker 2: Dnabsa says, not the a hole. If HR requires an apology,

1257
00:57:55,320 --> 00:57:58,520
Speaker 2: you can always worry the apology properly. I am sorry

1258
00:57:58,600 --> 00:58:00,680
Speaker 2: I made fun of your large four head. I see

1259
00:58:00,720 --> 00:58:03,200
Speaker 2: now that going bald is making you uncomfortable, and I

1260
00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:08,520
Speaker 2: will not mention it again. That yeah, I got nothing

1261
00:58:08,560 --> 00:58:12,520
Speaker 2: says Also, I'm genuinely sorry your father left you. Danukian says,

1262
00:58:12,720 --> 00:58:15,440
Speaker 2: I'm very sorry put your father and your hair left you.

1263
00:58:16,360 --> 00:58:19,240
Speaker 2: It seems to be a pattern, a male pattern. I'm

1264
00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:23,240
Speaker 2: so sorry. Electric Speculum says, I'm glad that you're willing

1265
00:58:23,280 --> 00:58:27,280
Speaker 2: to take unsolicited comments about body parts seriously, especially since

1266
00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:30,080
Speaker 2: mine was in response to him making a particularly hurtful

1267
00:58:30,160 --> 00:58:34,960
Speaker 2: and unsolicited comment about my body. This feels like harassment,

1268
00:58:35,080 --> 00:58:37,600
Speaker 2: and I was attempting to show Jake how it feels

1269
00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:42,160
Speaker 2: without commenting on his private parts, so he would cease

1270
00:58:42,200 --> 00:58:47,200
Speaker 2: his repeated and unwanted intimidation. Angela Kax says, HR reacted

1271
00:58:47,240 --> 00:58:49,640
Speaker 2: because you're a woman called them out. Ask them to

1272
00:58:49,720 --> 00:58:53,120
Speaker 2: explain why you're getting this response when he's been walking

1273
00:58:53,160 --> 00:58:57,680
Speaker 2: around terrorizing everyone since he started. Use the terms hostile

1274
00:58:57,760 --> 00:59:03,520
Speaker 2: work environment, bullying, and personal grievance. Before you go in,

1275
00:59:03,760 --> 00:59:06,400
Speaker 2: speak to an employment lawyer because you do have rights,

1276
00:59:06,640 --> 00:59:08,680
Speaker 2: and if you can't get one before the meeting, then

1277
00:59:08,720 --> 00:59:11,040
Speaker 2: go in and say that you're recording this meeting for

1278
00:59:11,120 --> 00:59:14,600
Speaker 2: your lawyer to review, not the ale. Yeah, there is

1279
00:59:14,600 --> 00:59:16,520
Speaker 2: an update seven days later, but all of.

1280
00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:19,720
Speaker 8: That, all of that, Yeah, all of that, record everything.

1281
00:59:19,880 --> 00:59:24,280
Speaker 8: Get as much information from other coworkers as well. Yeah,

1282
00:59:24,320 --> 00:59:27,439
Speaker 8: who've dealt with this. The more evidence you come to them,

1283
00:59:27,560 --> 00:59:32,080
Speaker 8: the more they're gonna get scared. Yeah, and they should be. Yeah.

1284
00:59:32,280 --> 00:59:34,440
Speaker 6: Use all those words these commenters said.

1285
00:59:34,400 --> 00:59:39,080
Speaker 2: Attack them. Ha ha ha. Update seven days later. Well,

1286
00:59:39,160 --> 00:59:42,280
Speaker 2: I had my meeting with HR and it went relatively okay.

1287
00:59:42,400 --> 00:59:44,760
Speaker 2: First of all, I went on detective mode and I

1288
00:59:44,800 --> 00:59:48,720
Speaker 2: found out one of the HR guys, Dylan, was related

1289
00:59:48,840 --> 00:59:50,400
Speaker 2: to Jay collusion.

1290
00:59:51,320 --> 00:59:56,240
Speaker 9: Ooh, you just found a really big little golden nugget.

1291
00:59:56,400 --> 00:59:57,840
Speaker 8: Conflict of interest.

1292
00:59:58,600 --> 01:00:01,360
Speaker 2: Their moms are cut so they don't have the same

1293
01:00:01,440 --> 01:00:04,480
Speaker 2: last name or anything. But I found Jake's mom's Facebook

1294
01:00:04,560 --> 01:00:06,680
Speaker 2: and then a picture with Jake's.

1295
01:00:06,280 --> 01:00:08,720
Speaker 6: Mom, Dylan and his mom.

1296
01:00:09,080 --> 01:00:11,800
Speaker 2: I screenshot at it and I talked to my supervisor,

1297
01:00:12,240 --> 01:00:14,560
Speaker 2: and he decided to come with me to the meeting.

1298
01:00:14,960 --> 01:00:19,160
Speaker 2: In the meeting, there was Dylan, his boss, Jake, my supervisor,

1299
01:00:19,280 --> 01:00:21,960
Speaker 2: and me. Dylan tried to lead the meeting and suggested

1300
01:00:22,040 --> 01:00:26,000
Speaker 2: immediate termination, but my supervisor told him we will have

1301
01:00:26,040 --> 01:00:29,240
Speaker 2: our meeting with the other guy because I deserved a

1302
01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:33,520
Speaker 2: neutral meeting and showed both of them the picture. Dylan's

1303
01:00:33,520 --> 01:00:36,400
Speaker 2: face dropped, but he didn't say anything else after that

1304
01:00:36,480 --> 01:00:39,040
Speaker 2: and just left the room. The other HR guy talked

1305
01:00:39,040 --> 01:00:41,120
Speaker 2: to me and my supervisor, and I gave him my

1306
01:00:41,200 --> 01:00:43,600
Speaker 2: story and I gave him twelve notes signed by my

1307
01:00:43,680 --> 01:00:47,320
Speaker 2: coworkers where they talked about their experiences with Jake. The

1308
01:00:47,560 --> 01:00:50,920
Speaker 2: HR guy called a couple of them, including my pregnant coworker,

1309
01:00:51,000 --> 01:00:54,440
Speaker 2: in his office too after dismissing me, and on Friday,

1310
01:00:54,480 --> 01:00:56,640
Speaker 2: I had another meeting, but it was only me and

1311
01:00:56,720 --> 01:00:59,880
Speaker 2: the HR guy. I talked about how uncomfortable I felt,

1312
01:01:00,040 --> 01:01:02,160
Speaker 2: and now everyone tried to do the right thing by

1313
01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:04,600
Speaker 2: reporting him, but they never did anything about it. He

1314
01:01:04,680 --> 01:01:07,760
Speaker 2: said he understood, and sadly Dylan was not impartial in

1315
01:01:07,840 --> 01:01:10,600
Speaker 2: his actions by covering for Jake, but that it was

1316
01:01:10,640 --> 01:01:12,840
Speaker 2: dealt with. He said, I wasn't going to get ridden

1317
01:01:12,920 --> 01:01:15,080
Speaker 2: up or anything, and that I'm in the clear. But

1318
01:01:15,160 --> 01:01:17,680
Speaker 2: he asked me to not repeat this, and I told

1319
01:01:17,760 --> 01:01:20,000
Speaker 2: him I wasn't planning on doing it again, and he

1320
01:01:20,160 --> 01:01:22,520
Speaker 2: just told me to go to him if something else happens.

1321
01:01:22,760 --> 01:01:24,880
Speaker 8: Hmmm, Okay, No, that.

1322
01:01:24,920 --> 01:01:27,720
Speaker 2: Doesn't feel like they really are doing anything about Jake.

1323
01:01:28,040 --> 01:01:30,760
Speaker 8: No, they like you might be in the clear, op,

1324
01:01:31,280 --> 01:01:35,000
Speaker 8: but they are not. They just tried to get you fired. Yeah,

1325
01:01:35,040 --> 01:01:39,560
Speaker 8: that's big, that's really big. You should go after them

1326
01:01:39,600 --> 01:01:43,440
Speaker 8: for that. They tried to go after your job. That's major.

1327
01:01:44,400 --> 01:01:49,480
Speaker 8: If you come to HR with an issue, they cannot retaliate. Yeah,

1328
01:01:49,520 --> 01:01:52,800
Speaker 8: so that is you can. Oh and then that in fact,

1329
01:01:52,840 --> 01:01:54,480
Speaker 8: you're supervisor there with you.

1330
01:01:54,720 --> 01:01:54,959
Speaker 9: Yeah.

1331
01:01:55,440 --> 01:01:57,440
Speaker 8: Oh, take them for all you get. You're going to

1332
01:01:57,480 --> 01:01:59,960
Speaker 8: get a new job. Yeah, better need one, because that's

1333
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:01,480
Speaker 8: settlement is going to be incredible.

1334
01:02:01,520 --> 01:02:02,280
Speaker 6: Get all your money.

1335
01:02:02,520 --> 01:02:05,520
Speaker 2: Yes, yesterday I got to the office and everything was normal.

1336
01:02:05,720 --> 01:02:08,640
Speaker 2: But at noon, my supervisor came to find me and

1337
01:02:08,720 --> 01:02:11,560
Speaker 2: my pregnant coworker and told us that Jake and Dylan

1338
01:02:11,560 --> 01:02:12,080
Speaker 2: were let go.

1339
01:02:12,560 --> 01:02:13,520
Speaker 6: At least that happens.

1340
01:02:13,600 --> 01:02:15,640
Speaker 8: Okay, that's good, positive movement.

1341
01:02:15,480 --> 01:02:18,640
Speaker 2: And Dylan might have some legal troubles with the company,

1342
01:02:18,720 --> 01:02:21,240
Speaker 2: but he couldn't discuss that and asked us not to

1343
01:02:21,240 --> 01:02:23,360
Speaker 2: say anything about it to anyone else, and that people

1344
01:02:23,360 --> 01:02:27,000
Speaker 2: would realize about Jake anyway. By the way, I hope

1345
01:02:27,040 --> 01:02:29,360
Speaker 2: you guys realize that you can listen to full episodes

1346
01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:32,920
Speaker 2: with stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

1347
01:02:33,000 --> 01:02:36,360
Speaker 2: or iHeartRadio and search up. Okay, storytime, there is a

1348
01:02:36,360 --> 01:02:37,560
Speaker 2: little bit left to this story.

1349
01:02:37,560 --> 01:02:38,880
Speaker 6: But do you have any final thoughts.

1350
01:02:38,880 --> 01:02:40,960
Speaker 8: I think the company did the right thing by getting

1351
01:02:41,040 --> 01:02:41,720
Speaker 8: rid of this guy.

1352
01:02:41,880 --> 01:02:43,680
Speaker 6: He's well, they're definitely covering their butts.

1353
01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:46,280
Speaker 8: Oh definitely, yeah.

1354
01:02:45,720 --> 01:02:47,320
Speaker 6: Especially don't talk about Jake.

1355
01:02:47,400 --> 01:02:49,640
Speaker 8: By the way, ye don't don't let this get out

1356
01:02:49,680 --> 01:02:52,560
Speaker 8: because it could come back on them really hard. I

1357
01:02:52,560 --> 01:02:56,240
Speaker 8: would still be curious if you can get anything out

1358
01:02:56,240 --> 01:02:59,360
Speaker 8: of it. Yeah, grievances and like especially like the whole

1359
01:02:59,360 --> 01:03:00,920
Speaker 8: group of people you go one together.

1360
01:03:01,360 --> 01:03:04,040
Speaker 6: Yeah, maybe like talk to an employment lawyer.

1361
01:03:04,120 --> 01:03:08,240
Speaker 8: Yeah, because you might still have grounds for something there.

1362
01:03:08,560 --> 01:03:11,480
Speaker 8: But that is completely out of line. And that guy

1363
01:03:11,760 --> 01:03:13,640
Speaker 8: that they got rid of, they got rid of that

1364
01:03:13,800 --> 01:03:17,200
Speaker 8: HR guy because they put the company in a very

1365
01:03:17,240 --> 01:03:19,640
Speaker 8: bad position. Yep, that you can capitalize on.

1366
01:03:19,880 --> 01:03:21,800
Speaker 2: Yes, but I'm glad that they got rid of those

1367
01:03:21,800 --> 01:03:23,720
Speaker 2: two guys. Yes, and there is a little bit left.

1368
01:03:23,800 --> 01:03:27,280
Speaker 2: I also have a second interview in another company next week.

1369
01:03:27,480 --> 01:03:28,760
Speaker 6: Good awesome.

1370
01:03:28,840 --> 01:03:32,440
Speaker 2: I'm hopeful, but also nervous because I had interviews before,

1371
01:03:32,560 --> 01:03:34,919
Speaker 2: but it didn't go anywhere at the end, and that's all.

1372
01:03:35,120 --> 01:03:37,680
Speaker 2: It was more dramatic than I expected. I thought they'd

1373
01:03:37,720 --> 01:03:40,479
Speaker 2: fire me and keep Jake or something. But I feel

1374
01:03:40,520 --> 01:03:42,920
Speaker 2: great finding out Dylan was covering for Jake because their

1375
01:03:42,920 --> 01:03:45,760
Speaker 2: family relationship helped me tremendously. Thank you for the advice.

1376
01:03:45,880 --> 01:03:46,880
Speaker 2: It was really useful.

1377
01:03:47,120 --> 01:03:49,240
Speaker 8: I think the company did the right thing by getting

1378
01:03:49,320 --> 01:03:51,480
Speaker 8: rid of this guy'll.

1379
01:03:50,640 --> 01:03:52,440
Speaker 2: They're definitely covering their butts.

1380
01:03:52,040 --> 01:03:53,880
Speaker 8: Oh definitely. Yeah.

1381
01:03:54,000 --> 01:03:56,360
Speaker 6: Especially don't talk about Jake by the way.

1382
01:03:56,320 --> 01:03:58,720
Speaker 8: Yeah, don't don't let this get out because it could

1383
01:03:58,840 --> 01:04:01,600
Speaker 8: come back on them really hard. I would still be

1384
01:04:01,720 --> 01:04:05,120
Speaker 8: curious if you can get anything out of it, Yeah,

1385
01:04:05,120 --> 01:04:08,240
Speaker 8: your grievances and like, especially like the whole group of people,

1386
01:04:08,240 --> 01:04:10,320
Speaker 8: if you go one together, Yeah, maybe.

1387
01:04:10,120 --> 01:04:12,320
Speaker 6: You like talk to an employment lawyer.

1388
01:04:12,400 --> 01:04:16,520
Speaker 8: Yeah, because you might still have grounds for something there.

1389
01:04:16,840 --> 01:04:19,720
Speaker 8: But that is completely out of line. And that guy

1390
01:04:20,040 --> 01:04:21,920
Speaker 8: that they got rid of, they got rid of that

1391
01:04:22,080 --> 01:04:25,480
Speaker 8: HR guy because they put the company in a very

1392
01:04:25,520 --> 01:04:27,920
Speaker 8: bad position. Yep, that you can capitalize on.

1393
01:04:28,160 --> 01:04:30,080
Speaker 2: Yes, but I'm glad that they got rid of those

1394
01:04:30,080 --> 01:04:32,000
Speaker 2: two guys. Yes, and there is a little bit left.

1395
01:04:32,040 --> 01:04:35,560
Speaker 2: I also have a second interview in another company next week.

1396
01:04:35,760 --> 01:04:39,720
Speaker 2: Good awesome. I'm hopeful, but also nervous because I had

1397
01:04:39,760 --> 01:04:42,400
Speaker 2: interviews before, but it didn't go anywhere at the end,

1398
01:04:42,560 --> 01:04:45,040
Speaker 2: and that's all. It was more dramatic than I expected.

1399
01:04:45,280 --> 01:04:47,720
Speaker 2: I thought they'd fire me and keep Jake or something.

1400
01:04:47,920 --> 01:04:50,360
Speaker 2: But I feel great finding out Dylan was covering for

1401
01:04:50,480 --> 01:04:53,320
Speaker 2: Jake because their family relationship helped me tremendously. Thank you

1402
01:04:53,400 --> 01:04:55,840
Speaker 2: for the advice. It was really useful. But that is

1403
01:04:55,880 --> 01:04:57,280
Speaker 2: the end of that story.

1404
01:04:58,120 --> 01:05:01,439
Speaker 8: Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite good yas I'm boy host here.

1405
01:05:01,680 --> 01:05:03,080
Speaker 8: We're going to get back to the stories.

1406
01:05:03,120 --> 01:05:05,320
Speaker 3: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1407
01:05:06,040 --> 01:05:08,920
Speaker 8: I think my coworker is interested in me, but I

1408
01:05:08,960 --> 01:05:10,440
Speaker 8: don't know how to confirm it.

1409
01:05:10,760 --> 01:05:11,400
Speaker 2: Ask him.

1410
01:05:11,720 --> 01:05:14,280
Speaker 8: I twenty two female have been working with my company

1411
01:05:14,320 --> 01:05:17,200
Speaker 8: for about five years now. Two years ago I moved

1412
01:05:17,240 --> 01:05:19,000
Speaker 8: to a different city and was lucky enough to get

1413
01:05:19,040 --> 01:05:21,840
Speaker 8: a position with the same company here where I've been

1414
01:05:21,880 --> 01:05:24,440
Speaker 8: growing really close to my coworkers. A little bit about

1415
01:05:24,480 --> 01:05:27,320
Speaker 8: my work environment is that this place has a lot

1416
01:05:27,520 --> 01:05:30,880
Speaker 8: of man but they're all in their thirties and forties,

1417
01:05:30,880 --> 01:05:33,640
Speaker 8: and they treat me like their own child friend. By

1418
01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:35,960
Speaker 8: the way, this comes from using name Sleeping Tammy. And

1419
01:05:36,040 --> 01:05:38,160
Speaker 8: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

1420
01:05:38,200 --> 01:05:41,640
Speaker 8: the r slash storytime subreddit. I'm Vincent, I'm Sophia, and

1421
01:05:41,680 --> 01:05:44,000
Speaker 8: we're here to give good advice goofy, but we don't

1422
01:05:44,040 --> 01:05:46,680
Speaker 8: have all the answers, so go ahead and give us

1423
01:05:46,920 --> 01:05:50,040
Speaker 8: what you would do. In the comments, Opie says, I

1424
01:05:50,160 --> 01:05:53,120
Speaker 8: technically work with a different company, but we use this

1425
01:05:53,200 --> 01:05:56,440
Speaker 8: company's office to do everything. I personally don't know the

1426
01:05:56,480 --> 01:05:59,600
Speaker 8: people who I work with in my actual company, except

1427
01:05:59,600 --> 01:06:02,440
Speaker 8: for the p people I have trained. I only know

1428
01:06:02,640 --> 01:06:05,600
Speaker 8: my boss HR and the accounts manager. I don't even

1429
01:06:05,680 --> 01:06:08,520
Speaker 8: know who is scheduled when I don't work. I hope

1430
01:06:08,560 --> 01:06:11,520
Speaker 8: this helps give some context. A few months ago, we

1431
01:06:11,600 --> 01:06:14,560
Speaker 8: had some new hires and one of them, let's call

1432
01:06:14,640 --> 01:06:17,640
Speaker 8: him George twenty two mail joined. The funny thing is

1433
01:06:17,920 --> 01:06:21,000
Speaker 8: he's just two months younger than me. I'll admit I

1434
01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:24,160
Speaker 8: didn't like him much at first. That's how all love stories.

1435
01:06:23,800 --> 01:06:26,160
Speaker 6: Start enemies to lovers woohoo.

1436
01:06:26,680 --> 01:06:29,360
Speaker 8: And I also can't even remember why now, but that

1437
01:06:29,480 --> 01:06:33,400
Speaker 8: changed pretty quickly. He's incredibly hard working, sweet and respectful

1438
01:06:33,480 --> 01:06:36,880
Speaker 8: towards everyone. Since we're the only young ones here, we

1439
01:06:37,080 --> 01:06:40,400
Speaker 8: naturally started talking more. He would always sing song my

1440
01:06:40,640 --> 01:06:46,080
Speaker 8: name whenever he saw me. Fast forward to mid August,

1441
01:06:46,160 --> 01:06:48,400
Speaker 8: when I was about to go on vacation. Everyone at

1442
01:06:48,400 --> 01:06:50,480
Speaker 8: work knew I was going to be gone for a while,

1443
01:06:50,800 --> 01:06:53,880
Speaker 8: so they were telling me to have fun and enjoy myself.

1444
01:06:54,040 --> 01:06:57,960
Speaker 8: George seemed genuinely disappointed that I was leaving. When I

1445
01:06:58,320 --> 01:07:01,240
Speaker 8: was saying my goodbyes send I worked the day before

1446
01:07:01,320 --> 01:07:04,920
Speaker 8: I left for vacation, he gave me a really long hug.

1447
01:07:05,120 --> 01:07:10,520
Speaker 8: He's super tall, like six two, so it definitely stood out.

1448
01:07:10,720 --> 01:07:14,000
Speaker 8: He also asked for my Instagram and we started texting

1449
01:07:14,080 --> 01:07:16,800
Speaker 8: after that. While I was traveling, he kept checking in

1450
01:07:16,840 --> 01:07:21,600
Speaker 8: and asking if I landed safely. Girl girl, yep. He

1451
01:07:21,720 --> 01:07:25,440
Speaker 8: commented on my stories and he told me he was

1452
01:07:25,520 --> 01:07:28,560
Speaker 8: happy that I was having fun. After I came back,

1453
01:07:28,640 --> 01:07:31,000
Speaker 8: I got sick and couldn't go to work for a bit,

1454
01:07:31,280 --> 01:07:33,880
Speaker 8: but he kept texting me to ask if I was okay.

1455
01:07:34,040 --> 01:07:35,720
Speaker 8: And if I needed anything.

1456
01:07:35,720 --> 01:07:36,880
Speaker 4: Come man.

1457
01:07:37,720 --> 01:07:40,680
Speaker 8: He even said that he missed me. Every time I

1458
01:07:40,720 --> 01:07:42,880
Speaker 8: thought I was better and texted him saying that I

1459
01:07:42,880 --> 01:07:45,320
Speaker 8: would come in, I ended up not going. There was

1460
01:07:45,360 --> 01:07:48,320
Speaker 8: also a week where I was having scheduling issues, which

1461
01:07:48,320 --> 01:07:51,560
Speaker 8: made it difficult for me to get my hours back.

1462
01:07:51,680 --> 01:07:54,920
Speaker 8: The day I was finally scheduled, I didn't text him

1463
01:07:54,920 --> 01:07:57,720
Speaker 8: that I was coming in because I want to surprise him.

1464
01:07:57,920 --> 01:08:00,560
Speaker 8: When I returned to work, I was met with a

1465
01:08:00,600 --> 01:08:03,120
Speaker 8: surprise of my own. I was sitting in my office

1466
01:08:03,160 --> 01:08:06,200
Speaker 8: doing some paperwork when George suddenly came into the room

1467
01:08:06,440 --> 01:08:08,960
Speaker 8: to grab a pair of keys and some other things

1468
01:08:09,040 --> 01:08:12,600
Speaker 8: from inside. It's a key card only rooms, so not

1469
01:08:12,840 --> 01:08:15,600
Speaker 8: everyone has access to it. He came up behind me

1470
01:08:15,640 --> 01:08:18,160
Speaker 8: and hugged me from behind. I was a little stunned,

1471
01:08:18,640 --> 01:08:23,000
Speaker 8: but he seemed genuinely happy, and he missed me. Juy

1472
01:08:23,040 --> 01:08:25,519
Speaker 8: doy a hug from behind, not even a hello.

1473
01:08:25,720 --> 01:08:28,759
Speaker 2: That's my ow much. He's tall, he's sixty two.

1474
01:08:28,920 --> 01:08:31,360
Speaker 8: He's six to two. That's a very intimate thing. Yeah,

1475
01:08:31,439 --> 01:08:32,880
Speaker 8: a hug from behind, that's.

1476
01:08:32,760 --> 01:08:33,320
Speaker 2: A big deal.

1477
01:08:33,479 --> 01:08:35,519
Speaker 8: I don't know if he likes I just don't know.

1478
01:08:35,680 --> 01:08:38,120
Speaker 8: Later that day, when I was working he hugged me

1479
01:08:38,160 --> 01:08:40,800
Speaker 8: again in a big bear hug. Since that day, he's

1480
01:08:40,840 --> 01:08:44,200
Speaker 8: been super clingy. He'll buy me my favorite food once

1481
01:08:44,240 --> 01:08:47,400
Speaker 8: in a while or get me hot chocolate, especially on

1482
01:08:47,560 --> 01:08:49,479
Speaker 8: days when we have to stay in the office until

1483
01:08:49,520 --> 01:08:52,559
Speaker 8: one am. What do you do? He would even hold

1484
01:08:52,560 --> 01:08:55,400
Speaker 8: my hand a little too long when we high five.

1485
01:08:55,720 --> 01:08:58,840
Speaker 8: A few times. He has caressed my cheek when he

1486
01:08:59,040 --> 01:09:01,920
Speaker 8: arrives at work when he greets me. We have been

1487
01:09:01,920 --> 01:09:05,240
Speaker 8: planning to hang outside of work hours, and we're finally

1488
01:09:05,280 --> 01:09:07,920
Speaker 8: able to do that. I finished my classes and we

1489
01:09:07,960 --> 01:09:10,280
Speaker 8: went to a really cute photo booth.

1490
01:09:10,080 --> 01:09:11,519
Speaker 2: Date day day day date.

1491
01:09:11,680 --> 01:09:14,640
Speaker 8: That's a date. Date, that's a date. After that, we

1492
01:09:14,680 --> 01:09:17,400
Speaker 8: got Asian food and bubble tea. That's a date and

1493
01:09:17,479 --> 01:09:20,400
Speaker 8: it was really nice, and We've been planning on catching

1494
01:09:20,439 --> 01:09:24,560
Speaker 8: a movie next month since I'm very busy with university.

1495
01:09:24,880 --> 01:09:28,479
Speaker 8: One side of my best friends has been gushing and

1496
01:09:28,600 --> 01:09:31,080
Speaker 8: telling me that I totally went on a date and

1497
01:09:31,120 --> 01:09:34,040
Speaker 8: this wasn't just something friendly. The other side says it

1498
01:09:34,040 --> 01:09:36,400
Speaker 8: could just be that he's very friendly and since we're

1499
01:09:36,400 --> 01:09:39,439
Speaker 8: the only ones who are twenty two, he might want

1500
01:09:39,479 --> 01:09:41,880
Speaker 8: to be close to someone in his age group.

1501
01:09:42,040 --> 01:09:43,880
Speaker 2: Those friends are also oblivious.

1502
01:09:44,040 --> 01:09:45,560
Speaker 8: Yeah, girl, No one's.

1503
01:09:45,240 --> 01:09:47,559
Speaker 2: Caressing just because they want a friend in the group.

1504
01:09:47,720 --> 01:09:47,960
Speaker 7: Yeah.

1505
01:09:48,000 --> 01:09:48,639
Speaker 2: Who is their age?

1506
01:09:48,800 --> 01:09:52,360
Speaker 8: When someone no matter what gender, yeah, puts this much

1507
01:09:52,400 --> 01:09:56,360
Speaker 8: attention into you and that much effort. They're into you.

1508
01:09:56,400 --> 01:10:00,040
Speaker 8: They're into you, They're into you. So reddit this. This

1509
01:10:00,160 --> 01:10:02,800
Speaker 8: is my question. Is this just a friendly gesture or

1510
01:10:02,840 --> 01:10:05,680
Speaker 8: does it sound like he's actually interested in me? I

1511
01:10:05,720 --> 01:10:08,880
Speaker 8: really don't want to misread the situation, especially since we

1512
01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:12,160
Speaker 8: work together. I'd love to hear what you all think.

1513
01:10:12,360 --> 01:10:16,679
Speaker 8: Is this a crush or just a really close friendship energy?

1514
01:10:16,880 --> 01:10:18,360
Speaker 8: We have some comments.

1515
01:10:18,080 --> 01:10:21,680
Speaker 5: He's into you, he's into you, he's into you.

1516
01:10:21,720 --> 01:10:23,960
Speaker 8: I don't know what else you want to you can

1517
01:10:24,040 --> 01:10:27,400
Speaker 8: tell you what would it take for OP to be like, yes,

1518
01:10:27,479 --> 01:10:28,040
Speaker 8: he is into me.

1519
01:10:28,120 --> 01:10:30,479
Speaker 2: What is there for him to say I have a

1520
01:10:30,479 --> 01:10:31,080
Speaker 2: crush on you.

1521
01:10:31,280 --> 01:10:34,400
Speaker 8: Yeah? But he could kiss her yeah and be like

1522
01:10:35,040 --> 01:10:37,759
Speaker 8: was it a friendly kiss? We made off for five minutes,

1523
01:10:37,800 --> 01:10:41,320
Speaker 8: but it felt friendly friendly, It could be friendly. Come

1524
01:10:41,360 --> 01:10:45,000
Speaker 8: on comments comment number one, sis for real, this guy

1525
01:10:45,280 --> 01:10:50,880
Speaker 8: sounds incredibly interested. We call this behavior sniffing around where

1526
01:10:50,880 --> 01:10:54,040
Speaker 8: I'm at. And, in case you're wondering, my quote unquote

1527
01:10:54,080 --> 01:10:57,800
Speaker 8: work husband aka might soon to be actual husband and

1528
01:10:57,920 --> 01:11:00,599
Speaker 8: I worked together a year before we got to It

1529
01:11:00,600 --> 01:11:03,360
Speaker 8: was enough time for us to realize we were each

1530
01:11:03,400 --> 01:11:07,360
Speaker 8: other's forever. It doesn't work for everybody, but it works

1531
01:11:07,400 --> 01:11:10,400
Speaker 8: for us. I love working with him, waking up with him,

1532
01:11:10,479 --> 01:11:13,360
Speaker 8: carpooling with him, being with him twenty four to seven.

1533
01:11:13,439 --> 01:11:16,280
Speaker 8: He is the biggest and best risk I've ever taken,

1534
01:11:16,360 --> 01:11:20,240
Speaker 8: and I will never regret it. OPI, omg, I've never

1535
01:11:20,360 --> 01:11:23,680
Speaker 8: heard of this term before. I assumed he was just

1536
01:11:23,720 --> 01:11:26,240
Speaker 8: super friendly, which is what some of my friends said,

1537
01:11:26,439 --> 01:11:29,680
Speaker 8: and the others said it was just a date, So

1538
01:11:29,840 --> 01:11:33,200
Speaker 8: I'm kind of confused. Comment number two. I'd say, he's

1539
01:11:33,240 --> 01:11:37,240
Speaker 8: into you, but census involves work. Be careful, look up

1540
01:11:37,280 --> 01:11:40,599
Speaker 8: workplace policy on dating coworkers, if there is any think

1541
01:11:40,640 --> 01:11:43,519
Speaker 8: about how this may look professionally, and if it will

1542
01:11:43,560 --> 01:11:47,639
Speaker 8: impact your career, if you're planning on staying here long

1543
01:11:47,800 --> 01:11:51,280
Speaker 8: term or not, if the relationship ends, how to impact

1544
01:11:51,360 --> 01:11:53,519
Speaker 8: your work. I would say the safe thing to do

1545
01:11:53,840 --> 01:11:56,400
Speaker 8: would be to focus on the long term friendship first.

1546
01:11:58,200 --> 01:12:06,160
Speaker 8: I he's datorrying boo because boring, not because I get

1547
01:12:06,200 --> 01:12:08,960
Speaker 8: where comment is coming from. It's like, make sure that

1548
01:12:09,000 --> 01:12:14,280
Speaker 8: you're good friends first. I goes but yes or yeah,

1549
01:12:14,520 --> 01:12:16,120
Speaker 8: or we could cuss. We could be friends, so we.

1550
01:12:16,080 --> 01:12:18,920
Speaker 6: Could cut friends and kisuse.

1551
01:12:18,080 --> 01:12:20,160
Speaker 8: Some friends, kis some friends first of a hot chalk,

1552
01:12:20,200 --> 01:12:23,040
Speaker 8: lit of a hot chocolate and Bobati. Once you understand

1553
01:12:23,080 --> 01:12:26,400
Speaker 8: each other as people and not just as romantic interest,

1554
01:12:26,680 --> 01:12:29,840
Speaker 8: it may make it clear whether you're a good fit

1555
01:12:29,920 --> 01:12:32,559
Speaker 8: for a serious relationship or not. It's okay to be

1556
01:12:32,600 --> 01:12:36,320
Speaker 8: patient and just enjoy each other's company without rushing into labels.

1557
01:12:36,400 --> 01:12:38,640
Speaker 8: I agree with that. Yeah, yeah, I get to know

1558
01:12:38,680 --> 01:12:40,400
Speaker 8: each other a little bit first, I know the person,

1559
01:12:40,520 --> 01:12:43,880
Speaker 8: keep going on date? Yeah, OPI Hi, thanks for the comment.

1560
01:12:44,000 --> 01:12:46,160
Speaker 8: I am unsure if we have a dating policy, since

1561
01:12:46,240 --> 01:12:48,680
Speaker 8: I got this job only for earning money while I

1562
01:12:48,720 --> 01:12:52,200
Speaker 8: studied and is nowhere close to what I want as

1563
01:12:52,280 --> 01:12:54,760
Speaker 8: a career. It's part time as well, but I work

1564
01:12:54,840 --> 01:12:57,559
Speaker 8: full time during the summers and eight hour shifts on

1565
01:12:57,640 --> 01:12:59,000
Speaker 8: certain days in the week.

1566
01:12:59,280 --> 01:13:01,400
Speaker 2: Okay, so that's definitely. I don't think you have any

1567
01:13:01,439 --> 01:13:04,240
Speaker 2: issue my job wise. This isn't a place you're going

1568
01:13:04,320 --> 01:13:08,360
Speaker 2: to stay at, nor does it seem like you really care. Yeah,

1569
01:13:08,439 --> 01:13:10,360
Speaker 2: but longevity here out on your mind.

1570
01:13:10,600 --> 01:13:13,679
Speaker 8: Yeah, and yeah, if it's part time, I think there's

1571
01:13:13,720 --> 01:13:15,960
Speaker 8: definitely still look up the rules, but there's the ways

1572
01:13:15,960 --> 01:13:18,240
Speaker 8: you can get around the rules. Got fun. It's kind

1573
01:13:18,240 --> 01:13:21,200
Speaker 8: of fun get around the rules. The job market sucks here,

1574
01:13:21,320 --> 01:13:24,519
Speaker 8: so I have remained with the same company for five

1575
01:13:24,640 --> 01:13:27,200
Speaker 8: years since it's hard to get other jobs, even if

1576
01:13:27,240 --> 01:13:30,120
Speaker 8: after putting in multiple applications. He also works for the

1577
01:13:30,160 --> 01:13:32,599
Speaker 8: other company, and I have no idea on what their

1578
01:13:32,680 --> 01:13:35,760
Speaker 8: dating policy is as well. We haven't told anyone that

1579
01:13:35,800 --> 01:13:38,720
Speaker 8: we hung out one on one and took pictures, but

1580
01:13:39,360 --> 01:13:42,439
Speaker 8: one of my colleagues with whom I've worked closely for

1581
01:13:42,479 --> 01:13:45,720
Speaker 8: the past few years, somehow found out loll and has

1582
01:13:45,760 --> 01:13:49,000
Speaker 8: been teasing me about it. Also, he has kind of

1583
01:13:49,040 --> 01:13:52,600
Speaker 8: been shipping the two of us for a while now, haha.

1584
01:13:52,800 --> 01:13:56,760
Speaker 8: Comment number three. He's into you. The behind hug, the

1585
01:13:56,880 --> 01:14:00,000
Speaker 8: cheek caress, the planning, the one on one quote, unquot

1586
01:14:00,320 --> 01:14:04,640
Speaker 8: dates are way beyond just friendly, especially from a male coworker.

1587
01:14:04,760 --> 01:14:08,920
Speaker 8: This is classic crush behavior. Op. He is a pretty

1588
01:14:08,920 --> 01:14:11,800
Speaker 8: affection with people he is close to. I don't want

1589
01:14:11,840 --> 01:14:14,200
Speaker 8: to confuse it as him crushing over me. I know

1590
01:14:14,280 --> 01:14:16,840
Speaker 8: he doesn't have a girlfriend, and he did say that

1591
01:14:16,920 --> 01:14:22,960
Speaker 8: relationships were annoying, so yeah, which is why I'm pretty confused. Reply. Uh,

1592
01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:24,880
Speaker 8: he might be doing that just for attention if he

1593
01:14:24,920 --> 01:14:28,920
Speaker 8: thinks relationships are annoying. False, like one of those people

1594
01:14:29,000 --> 01:14:33,280
Speaker 8: who only get into situationships and can't commit. Just guessing, though.

1595
01:14:33,479 --> 01:14:36,760
Speaker 8: I do think the dating and having a crush pre

1596
01:14:36,760 --> 01:14:40,400
Speaker 8: relationship time is fun, So maybe just keep going on

1597
01:14:40,479 --> 01:14:42,800
Speaker 8: dates until you feel like you have to do to

1598
01:14:43,000 --> 01:14:46,160
Speaker 8: outright ask him what you are I think that's fair.

1599
01:14:46,360 --> 01:14:48,559
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I think that's fine. I don't think that's

1600
01:14:48,560 --> 01:14:50,920
Speaker 2: what he's doing, but I think their suggestion is fine.

1601
01:14:51,000 --> 01:14:53,720
Speaker 8: Yeah, I think he's definitely into I also agree with like,

1602
01:14:53,760 --> 01:14:55,800
Speaker 8: you don't need to rush into it, so just keep

1603
01:14:55,880 --> 01:14:58,920
Speaker 8: letting it grow right now? Ohp. The thing is he's

1604
01:14:58,960 --> 01:15:01,400
Speaker 8: not the one to get into such relationships lol. He

1605
01:15:01,520 --> 01:15:05,000
Speaker 8: is super innocent and basically a big teddy bear. He

1606
01:15:05,080 --> 01:15:08,280
Speaker 8: too has never had a girlfriend or been intimate with anyone,

1607
01:15:08,400 --> 01:15:11,879
Speaker 8: and he kind of believes that he should be intimate

1608
01:15:12,040 --> 01:15:16,719
Speaker 8: after marriage. He is religious. Okay, okay, like a lot. Yeah,

1609
01:15:16,760 --> 01:15:18,840
Speaker 8: and we have an update, but your thoughts right now?

1610
01:15:18,880 --> 01:15:21,040
Speaker 2: I think just hanging out as long as you enjoy it,

1611
01:15:21,080 --> 01:15:23,080
Speaker 2: you don't have to you don't have to worry about like, oh,

1612
01:15:23,120 --> 01:15:25,080
Speaker 2: what does he think? But BA just like hang out

1613
01:15:25,120 --> 01:15:26,920
Speaker 2: together and if it gets to a point where you're like,

1614
01:15:27,000 --> 01:15:29,240
Speaker 2: I need to know answers, then you can ask.

1615
01:15:29,400 --> 01:15:31,760
Speaker 8: Yeah. And I definitely feel like I don't know where

1616
01:15:31,960 --> 01:15:34,960
Speaker 8: OPI is at religiously, but if he's very religious, I'm

1617
01:15:35,040 --> 01:15:36,920
Speaker 8: kind of siding on the side of just enjoy it

1618
01:15:36,920 --> 01:15:40,400
Speaker 8: for right now, keep learning each other as people and

1619
01:15:40,479 --> 01:15:43,280
Speaker 8: make sure your guys' value aligned, because if religion is

1620
01:15:43,320 --> 01:15:45,200
Speaker 8: really important to him, that's gonna be a thing that

1621
01:15:45,439 --> 01:15:47,479
Speaker 8: you're gonna if you have a relationship, that's gonna be

1622
01:15:47,479 --> 01:15:49,080
Speaker 8: a thing that's gonna be a facet of it.

1623
01:15:49,200 --> 01:15:49,639
Speaker 2: Agreed.

1624
01:15:50,000 --> 01:15:53,400
Speaker 8: Yeah, but we have an update too. So here's what's

1625
01:15:53,400 --> 01:15:56,600
Speaker 8: happened since day after my last post. George and I

1626
01:15:56,760 --> 01:16:01,120
Speaker 8: kept getting close. We still text every day, usually with

1627
01:16:01,200 --> 01:16:04,320
Speaker 8: him starting the conversation, and he still does little things

1628
01:16:04,320 --> 01:16:06,880
Speaker 8: like bringing me coffee or snacks when he knows I'm

1629
01:16:06,920 --> 01:16:10,240
Speaker 8: working late. He also started something new. He would walk

1630
01:16:10,280 --> 01:16:12,479
Speaker 8: with me to the bus stop, which is about two

1631
01:16:12,520 --> 01:16:16,120
Speaker 8: minutes away from our office, and wait with me until

1632
01:16:16,120 --> 01:16:20,080
Speaker 8: the bus came, specifically if it was like ten or

1633
01:16:20,120 --> 01:16:22,960
Speaker 8: eleven at night. We also went to see that movie

1634
01:16:23,000 --> 01:16:26,760
Speaker 8: we talked about, and yes, it totally felt like a date.

1635
01:16:27,400 --> 01:16:30,960
Speaker 8: He paid for my ticket and food, and he was

1636
01:16:31,160 --> 01:16:35,000
Speaker 8: definitely more affectionate. He held my hand and even brushed

1637
01:16:35,040 --> 01:16:39,080
Speaker 8: my hair behind my ear. After the movie, he admitted

1638
01:16:39,080 --> 01:16:41,800
Speaker 8: that he really liked me and had been trying to

1639
01:16:41,800 --> 01:16:44,360
Speaker 8: show it without making things weird at work. He said

1640
01:16:44,400 --> 01:16:46,679
Speaker 8: he didn't want to cross any lines since we technically

1641
01:16:46,720 --> 01:16:50,280
Speaker 8: worked together, but he couldn't help getting attached. He said

1642
01:16:50,320 --> 01:16:53,400
Speaker 8: he genuinely enjoys being around me and feels like we

1643
01:16:53,760 --> 01:16:57,439
Speaker 8: just click, and that he hasn't seen someone as smart

1644
01:16:57,680 --> 01:16:59,960
Speaker 8: or as hard working as me. For contacts I made

1645
01:17:00,080 --> 01:17:03,439
Speaker 8: during in a criminology honors program with a minor in

1646
01:17:03,520 --> 01:17:09,400
Speaker 8: political science, and he found that extremely fascinating and attracting.

1647
01:17:09,960 --> 01:17:10,519
Speaker 2: So hot.

1648
01:17:10,640 --> 01:17:14,480
Speaker 8: You're into criminology, You're into fighting crime.

1649
01:17:14,240 --> 01:17:15,759
Speaker 2: Man, criminal minds over here.

1650
01:17:16,720 --> 01:17:20,080
Speaker 8: I love it. I was extremely shocked by everything and

1651
01:17:20,439 --> 01:17:23,840
Speaker 8: didn't really know what to say. Internally, I was screaming

1652
01:17:24,560 --> 01:17:25,600
Speaker 8: any thoughts.

1653
01:17:25,640 --> 01:17:28,320
Speaker 2: It's all good, My thoughts are all good. I knew

1654
01:17:28,320 --> 01:17:31,479
Speaker 2: this was coming, We knew this was coming, and I'm

1655
01:17:31,520 --> 01:17:32,599
Speaker 2: glad it did come.

1656
01:17:32,800 --> 01:17:35,320
Speaker 8: Congratulations on catching up to where we all were.

1657
01:17:35,880 --> 01:17:36,679
Speaker 2: I'm so happy.

1658
01:17:36,920 --> 01:17:39,200
Speaker 8: I'm happy for you. This is an exciting time for you.

1659
01:17:39,400 --> 01:17:43,400
Speaker 8: Let's go. Since then, we've been taking things slow. We're

1660
01:17:43,439 --> 01:17:46,120
Speaker 8: not officially dating yet, but we're definitely more than just

1661
01:17:46,200 --> 01:17:49,800
Speaker 8: coworkers or friends. Now. We've talked about keeping things professional

1662
01:17:49,880 --> 01:17:52,639
Speaker 8: at work, and so far it's been fine. We did

1663
01:17:52,760 --> 01:17:57,559
Speaker 8: inform our respective supervisors and they were super chill about it.

1664
01:17:57,720 --> 01:18:02,160
Speaker 8: Only one colleague, and the one who always shipped us,

1665
01:18:02,160 --> 01:18:05,400
Speaker 8: knows we're more than just friends or co workers and

1666
01:18:05,520 --> 01:18:07,000
Speaker 8: has kept it a secret.

1667
01:18:07,520 --> 01:18:07,720
Speaker 7: Yeah.

1668
01:18:08,400 --> 01:18:11,320
Speaker 8: See good and a good on you guys for taking

1669
01:18:11,320 --> 01:18:14,120
Speaker 8: a slow and telling your supervisors. So to everyone who

1670
01:18:14,240 --> 01:18:17,439
Speaker 8: said it wasn't just friendly energy, you were right. Thanks

1671
01:18:17,439 --> 01:18:20,320
Speaker 8: for helping me open my eyes. Turns out sometimes it

1672
01:18:20,400 --> 01:18:22,400
Speaker 8: really is what it looks like.

1673
01:18:23,240 --> 01:18:26,479
Speaker 4: That is ay, and that's the end of the story.