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Speaker 1: This week at the Parlor Live Comedy Club from last

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Speaker 1: comic Standing in Paradise Eliza's Lessenger April twenty fourth through

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Speaker 1: the twenty sixth. Tickets are available at Parlor Live dot

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Speaker 1: com and you can call four two five two eight

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Speaker 1: nine seven thousand on the twenty Hello, I was looking

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Speaker 1: for Tyler. Ah. Yeah, it's me Tyler. My name is

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Speaker 1: Casey Ryback from the Washington State Highway Patrol. Do you

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Speaker 1: have a few minutes? Uh? Yeah, yeah. You were pulled

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Speaker 1: over the other day for speeding correct, Yes, yes, I was. Well,

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Speaker 1: I'm calling to let you know that your license is

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Speaker 1: being revoked and you will no longer be able to

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Speaker 1: drive in Washington State. Excuse me, revolt? Yes, I don't

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Speaker 1: think I stuttered. There we're taking your license away, sir.

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Speaker 1: Wait wait, wait wait, I'm sorry I was I was

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Speaker 1: pulled over and I was given I would like go

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Speaker 1: with a warning. Sir. That is true. That is true.

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Speaker 1: But the officer who pulled you over informed me that

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Speaker 1: you lied to him. As a matter of fact, you've

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Speaker 1: been lying to everybody. I'm sorry. What is he saying

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Speaker 1: that I'm lying about? And what does that have to

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Speaker 1: do with me getting let off with a warning. It's

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Speaker 1: obvious that when you got out of the car you

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Speaker 1: were barely five ten and on your driver's license it

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Speaker 1: lists you as six foot Okay, is this funny to you?

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Speaker 1: Is this funny? I'm sorry, I don't know how. I

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Speaker 1: don't understand why that wouldn't get my license revoked. Sir.

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Speaker 1: You lied on your driver's license about your height. That

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Speaker 1: is falsifying a document, sir, and that's considered a misdemeanor

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Speaker 1: here in this state. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sir, but

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Speaker 1: that that's bull that's bulls. Sir. You know what I

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Speaker 1: think is bulls. I think you know what I think

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Speaker 1: is bulls. Being five nine and then telling people that

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Speaker 1: you're six foot tall, I think that's bull to matter, sir,

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Speaker 1: you're actually lucky. We're taking it easy on you. You

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Speaker 1: cannot revoke my license because my height it says two

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Speaker 1: inches taller than I really am. I'm sorry, you can't

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Speaker 1: do that. It's not just that. That's the tip of

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Speaker 1: the iceberg with you. You've listened on your license that

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Speaker 1: you're one hundred and eighty pounds. You're clearly over two

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Speaker 1: hundred pounds. What the hell are you talking about? Listen,

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Speaker 1: people's weight fluctuate. Not on my watch, Chubb Rock, all right,

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Speaker 1: excuse me, Rock? You heard me, Tubby, I said, not

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Speaker 1: on my watch. If you list yourself if whoa, whoa, whoa?

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Speaker 1: Excuse me. I don't understand this. I don't understand. You

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Speaker 1: can't be serious. What you need to understand is I'm serious,

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Speaker 1: and there is a new sheriff in town, and I'm

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Speaker 1: cracking down. You got no life if you're gonna come

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Speaker 1: after people about there, they're stupid, height in their weight,

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Speaker 1: if they look at what you're doing your job. I

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Speaker 1: may be a miserable person. There's better things for you

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Speaker 1: to do, sir. I may be miserable, but at least

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Speaker 1: I can drive somewhere, at least my license. Sir. I'm

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Speaker 1: keeping serious. I'm gonna ensue you. I'm not talking to you.

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Speaker 1: Don't understand need do you hear me? If you're upset

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Speaker 1: about not having license, feel free to apply in six

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Speaker 1: months and maybe we'll give it to you. Then this

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Speaker 1: can't be real, sir, I'm sorry. Ridiculous, Well, sir, Until

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Speaker 1: you can be honest about your height and weight, we

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Speaker 1: can't let you drive in this state. Okay, Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: want your number, sir, I want your number and your name.

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Speaker 1: Don't even make me get into your eye color. That's right,

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Speaker 1: the lie that you told about your eye color. Don't

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Speaker 1: even get me started on that officer. That's true, they

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Speaker 1: are brown, but on your license you failed to put

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Speaker 1: beautiful shade of brown. I mean just gorgeous. You got

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Speaker 1: some real show stoppers there. I'll tell you what, I

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Speaker 1: kind of want to lock you up just for having

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Speaker 1: those gorgeous eyes that you have. You know that should

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Speaker 1: be a league. Who is this? What's that? This is

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Speaker 1: actually jewel from Brook and Jewil in the morning, I'm

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Speaker 1: moving ninety two point five doing a phone app on you.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, your friend John Michael set you up.

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Speaker 1: He says that you got pulled over the other day

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Speaker 1: and he's always making fun of you because you lie

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Speaker 1: about your height on your license. Oh my god, your buddy,

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Speaker 1: your buddy actually did forward me a picture and I

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Speaker 1: want to do say you really do have gorgeous eyes.

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Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, yeah, thanks for a lot. I have

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Speaker 1: to Should I buy you a drink? Now? Wake up

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Speaker 1: every morning with Jubal phone taps weekday mornings on the

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Speaker 1: twenties point five