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Speaker 1: Hey, lady, is doctor dom here. If you like this

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Speaker 2: On this week's episode in her Space, So we have

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Speaker 2: to think about what are our patterns and what are

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Speaker 2: we doing that's causing us to get in this space

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Speaker 2: in the first place. And if you really want to

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Speaker 2: experience transformation in that area, you really have to proactively

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Speaker 2: work on your habits. And it's not necessarily about how

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Speaker 2: much money you make. It's about what you do with

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Speaker 2: the money that you make. So you really have to

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Speaker 2: be intentional. You have to be aware, you have to

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Speaker 2: be willing to sacrifice, especially if you are in a

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Speaker 2: space where your income levels are a little bit lower.

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Speaker 2: But if that is the case, just know that you

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Speaker 2: have the capacity and the eagerness to do it, because

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Speaker 2: there's always ways where you can make money to supplement

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Speaker 2: what you need. Today's episode is sure to provide you

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Speaker 2: with motivation, inspiration, or even a fresh perspective. If you

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Speaker 2: have any AHA moments, or if you feel comforted throughout

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Speaker 2: the episode, lady, please leave us a review and tell

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Speaker 2: us what we're doing right so we can stay on track. Also,

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Speaker 2: we release episodes every Friday, so be sure to subscribe

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Speaker 2: on iTunes and visit herspacepodcast dot com and enter your

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Speaker 2: email address to get updates about our live events and

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Speaker 2: all the new beginnings that we have for this year.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting women

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Speaker 1: like you. We're your hosts, Doctor Dominique, a college professor

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Speaker 1: and psychologist.

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Speaker 2: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker. In a

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Speaker 2: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please

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Speaker 2: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from

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Speaker 2: fibroids to fake friends, and create a safe space where

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Speaker 2: black women can just be Hey, lady, it's Terry here

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Speaker 2: from the Heirspace podcast and I have some exciting news

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Speaker 2: for you. I just published my self help book, How

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Speaker 2: to Glow Up. As you grow up. Your go to

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Speaker 2: guide for overcoming obstacles and making lemonade. So if you've

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Speaker 2: ever experienced loss, childhood, trauma, a narcissistic partner, or depression,

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Speaker 2: this book is just for you. If you visit glowupbook

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Speaker 2: dot com again, that's glow upbook dot com, you can

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Speaker 2: order your copy today and you will surely be inspired.

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Speaker 2: So I hope that you decide to join me on

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Speaker 2: this journey and I'll see you soon. All right, lady,

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Speaker 2: today we have a very very very special guest today,

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Speaker 2: So get your pen and your paper out. Okay, you're

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Speaker 2: gonna thank us later, so get it out. Get ready.

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Speaker 2: Sophia Melanie the Debt Demolisher is a financial literacy advocate

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Speaker 2: and financial prosperity coach who offers workshops, seminars, keynotes, and

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Speaker 2: coaching to deliver the blueprint to debt freedom and financial abundance.

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Speaker 2: After single handedly paying off over eighty three thousand dollars

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Speaker 2: of debt and twenty one months while being a caregiver,

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Speaker 2: Sofia launched her business, Smash Debt, to help people strategize

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Speaker 2: on how to get out of debt, start building wealth,

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Speaker 2: and become leaders in their financial House, Sofia, welcome to

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Speaker 2: her space.

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Speaker 3: Hello, Hello, Hello lady.

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Speaker 2: I'm so excited to be here with you.

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Speaker 1: Guys, we hear it in your voice and we are

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Speaker 1: so excited to have you. So I'm going to take

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Speaker 1: us into our quote of the day. The real measure

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Speaker 1: of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if

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Speaker 1: you lost all your money. Now, Sophia, I took that

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Speaker 1: from your Twitter page. I just want to be transparent,

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Speaker 1: and so when you put that quote out there, what

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Speaker 1: came up for you, Like, what was resonating for you

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Speaker 1: that inspired you to tweet that?

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Speaker 2: Absolutely. So one of the things that's very important to me,

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Speaker 2: of course, and what I share with folks a lot,

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Speaker 2: is that it's not necessarily about what you have or

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Speaker 2: how much you have. The real measure of your wealth

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Speaker 2: is what would you have left over if you were

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Speaker 2: to lose everything that you had. So a lot of

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Speaker 2: times we tie our identity to the number that sent

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Speaker 2: our bank account, or we tie it to the things

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Speaker 2: that we have in terms of material sessions. But when

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Speaker 2: we think about it from a conceptual standpoint, it's really

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Speaker 2: about who you are and what you are designed to

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Speaker 2: be and live life.

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Speaker 1: I love that because to me, that speaks to our

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Speaker 1: psychological relationship with money absolutely, and it allows us to

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Speaker 1: kind of really think about the emotions that take hold

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Speaker 1: of us and come up for us around money, around finances,

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Speaker 1: around wealth. You know, because even saying the words finances

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Speaker 1: or wealth or money, like each of those words can

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Speaker 1: bring up different emotions in people. And so what inspired

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Speaker 1: you to kind of take this journey of getting out

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Speaker 1: of eighty three three thousand dollars worth of debt in

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Speaker 1: twenty one months.

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Speaker 2: Let me tell you my story is one that surprises

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Speaker 2: a lot of people. So in terms of my background, professionally,

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Speaker 2: I'm an accountant, so I deal a lot with numbers

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Speaker 2: and financial analytics and things of that nature. But behind

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Speaker 2: the scenes, my personal finances were a wreck. And the

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Speaker 2: reason being is because I grew up in a family

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Speaker 2: with a lot of scarcity and lack. We didn't have

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Speaker 2: a lot growing up. I had a lot of hand

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Speaker 2: me downs growing up, We had to get food from

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Speaker 2: food banks, We had times where we didn't eat. There

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Speaker 2: was just a lot of things that happened in my household,

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Speaker 2: and I was taught to survive and live off of

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Speaker 2: the little right And as I got older, and I

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Speaker 2: had to be responsible for my mom at a very

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Speaker 2: early age. As I got older, my mentality was, I

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Speaker 2: have to do this to take care of my family.

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Speaker 2: I have to work, I have to earn money. I

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Speaker 2: have to do this, And so I did all of

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Speaker 2: these things to earn this hefty salary. When you talked

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Speaker 2: about emotions and money, that is so, so so true,

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Speaker 2: because I had a dysfunctional emotional relationship with money because

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Speaker 2: of the things that I experienced in my childhood, and

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Speaker 2: because of those things, I had a lot of insecurity

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Speaker 2: within myself and that caused me to spend uncontrollably, not

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Speaker 2: have a good sense of relationship with my money, and

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Speaker 2: it triggered me to be in a whole lot of debt. Right,

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Speaker 2: I spent a lot on myself, and I spent a

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Speaker 2: lot on other people, and mainly it was other people,

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Speaker 2: and it took me by the age of thirty one.

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Speaker 2: That was the point in time where I realized, WHOA,

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Speaker 2: I need to do something different. I'm earning all of

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Speaker 2: this money and I don't have anything in the bank.

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Speaker 2: That's a problem for me. So where is my money going?

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Speaker 2: And once I realized that all of my money was

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Speaker 2: going to debt payments. That's when I decided to transition

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Speaker 2: my personal relationship with money, and I realized that I

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Speaker 2: needed to get rid of the debt, and so I

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Speaker 2: just went headstrong and figuring out what was the process

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Speaker 2: that I needed to take, getting myself familiar with the

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Speaker 2: financial literacy side, because even though I was in accounting,

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Speaker 2: I didn't really understand the basics of household finances, personal finances,

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Speaker 2: and so I had to learn that on my own.

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Speaker 2: And I just started going at it like it was crazy,

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Speaker 2: and within twenty one months, I've paid off eighty three thousand,

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Speaker 2: and now it's been four and a half years and

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Speaker 2: I had paid off two hundred and forty seven thousand,

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Speaker 2: seventy one dollars and twenty five cents. So I'm still

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Speaker 2: paying stuff off, but it's been an amazing journey.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: Wow, Sofia, that is such an inspiring story and one

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Speaker 2: thing I want to do before we get into our

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Speaker 2: tips and strategies on demolishing that debt, can you talk

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Speaker 2: a little bit about you know, you talked about your upbringing.

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Speaker 2: Can you talk about sort of how you got into

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Speaker 2: the debt, because I feel like oftentimes many of us

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Speaker 2: in our community. We don't learn about this growing up, right,

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Speaker 2: And I think that when we do make those wrong

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Speaker 2: decisions and you know, we get into debt, there's a

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Speaker 2: lot of shame around that. And I remember getting my

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Speaker 2: first credit card in college and I was like, Oh,

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Speaker 2: I got this money I can just use. So can

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Speaker 2: we talk a little bit about, you know, how you

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Speaker 2: got into debt and what your mindset was like then,

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Speaker 2: and then we'll kind of walk through that journey. Yeah, absolutely,

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Speaker 2: I can do that. And to be quite honest and

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Speaker 2: quite frank, I was taught to borrow at a very

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Speaker 2: early age, and so, like I was saying, in my childhood,

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Speaker 2: we had experienced a lot of scarcity, and so in

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Speaker 2: order for my mom to feed us in certain cases

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Speaker 2: and order for us to be able to have some

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Speaker 2: sort of sense of living, she lived off of her

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Speaker 2: credit cards. And even before I remember, before I started

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Speaker 2: going to college, my mom said to me, up front,

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Speaker 2: you're gonna have to take out your own loans. I

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Speaker 2: don't have any money. I'm not going to pay anything

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Speaker 2: out of pocket, so you're gonna have to take out

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Speaker 2: your student loans and your own name everything. Anything that

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Speaker 2: I needed, I had to get it in my own name,

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Speaker 2: and so I was taught at an early age to

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Speaker 2: acquire debt. I had a mortgage in my name as

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Speaker 2: soon as I turned eighteen. So as soon as I

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Speaker 2: turned eighteen, my mom added me to the home mortgage,

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Speaker 2: and I was responsible for that once she stopped working,

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Speaker 2: and I was just trained to borrow, borrow, borrow, and

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Speaker 2: as a result, that led me to believe that that

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Speaker 2: was the way of life. So I had credit cards,

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Speaker 2: I had student loans, I had car loans, I had

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Speaker 2: my mom's mortgage, and then I had my own mortgage.

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Speaker 2: I had personal loans. So I had every kind of

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Speaker 2: debt that you could imagine, with the exception of payday loans.

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Speaker 2: That's probably the only type of debt that I didn't have,

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Speaker 2: But any other debt I had it because it was

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Speaker 2: ingrained in me to borrow. I felt like that was

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Speaker 2: the only way that I could get what I needed

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Speaker 2: or that I wanted to survive as an adult in life. Wow,

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Speaker 2: that is so interesting, and I can only imagine how

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Speaker 2: that shifted your relationship with money and how you interacted

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Speaker 2: with money. It was like, this is the way that

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Speaker 2: I live, like, you know, acquire debt, and it is

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Speaker 2: what it is. I live to work and pay off

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Speaker 2: this debt. Right, Yes, And that was the realization for me,

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Speaker 2: just seeing because I did this exercise at the ending

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Speaker 2: of twenty fifteen. We all know that we have our

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Speaker 2: New Year's resolutions that we said and we want to

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Speaker 2: start the new year fresh. And I was going through

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Speaker 2: this exercise of looking at every area of my life, right,

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Speaker 2: and when I got to the finances, I said, well,

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Speaker 2: let me look at my W twos because I was

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Speaker 2: I'm a person who worked like multiple jobs, so I

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Speaker 2: had like three jobs. And so I looked at all

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Speaker 2: of my W two's from twenty fifteen and I compared

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Speaker 2: that to my December twenty fifteen bank statement. And when

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Speaker 2: I looked at all of the money that I earned

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Speaker 2: between those jobs, and I looked at the balance that

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Speaker 2: was in my bank account, it was less than ten dollars.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, how in the world that I

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Speaker 2: gross over six figures and I only had nine dollars

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Speaker 2: and some change in the bank. It just didn't make

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Speaker 2: sense to me at all. And once I realized, like, whoa,

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Speaker 2: this is a dysfunctional relationship that I have. I have

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Speaker 2: over forty thousand dollars in credit card debt. I have

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Speaker 2: eighty thousand dollars in student loans. I have a car

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Speaker 2: loan that's about thirty, like twenty something thousand dollars. It

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Speaker 2: was ridiculous, and I said, there has to be a

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Speaker 2: better way. I said, there's no way that God has

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Speaker 2: put us on us earth for us to be paying

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Speaker 2: all of these bills and that's it, you know.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, as I'm listening to that, I'm like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I know that there are so many of us out

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Speaker 1: there that can relate to this, right, Because as you

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Speaker 1: were talking, I was thinking about, yeah, I have suit

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Speaker 1: and loans, Yeah I have credit cards, But I do

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Speaker 1: want to go back to like your upbringing, right, and

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Speaker 1: what you pointed out about this pattern, this historical pattern

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Speaker 1: of having to borrow. So you're in this space now

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Speaker 1: of we're going soil twenty fifteen. You're in this space

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Speaker 1: of like what you know is we borrow? What shifted

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Speaker 1: at the end of twenty fifteen when you're like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I have ten dollars left in my bank account. I

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Speaker 1: make over six figures and there's only ten dollars to

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Speaker 1: my name. What was the thought process there? Like what

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Speaker 1: was the next step? Like after you saw that number,

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Speaker 1: like what came next?

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Speaker 2: It was actually daunting to see the number because it

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Speaker 2: was over three hundred and sixty five thousand dollars, And

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Speaker 2: I said, how in the world did I, before the

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Speaker 2: age of thirty, amassed that much in debt? And I

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Speaker 2: had to make a choice, you guys, I had to

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Speaker 2: decide either I was going to live with this or

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Speaker 2: I was going to do something about it. And I

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Speaker 2: chose that I had to stop my patterns. I knew

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Speaker 2: that it was something that need to change within me,

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Speaker 2: and so I had once I faced the reality of

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Speaker 2: my situation by actually looking at all of the numbers,

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Speaker 2: that is what triggered me to shift and say, Okay,

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Speaker 2: I have to do something different, and now what is

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Speaker 2: that next step? And so what that looked like for

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Speaker 2: me was finding the resources that I did not know

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Speaker 2: or I was not able to learn growing up, by

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Speaker 2: listening to different podcasts, finding templates or different tools that

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Speaker 2: I can use to better educate myself on the basics

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Speaker 2: of positive spending habits, on the basics of budgeting, on

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Speaker 2: the basics of just being a better steward over the

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Speaker 2: resources that I was being blessed to acquire. And so

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Speaker 2: once you get to that space of realizing I want

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Speaker 2: something different from my life, you have to choose what

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Speaker 2: you need to change within your habit paradigm for it

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Speaker 2: to actually pivot and shift, to reposition your money so

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Speaker 2: that it can pay down the debt and not only that,

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Speaker 2: pay yourself so that you can begin to build your preserve.

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Speaker 2: Because that was my issue. I didn't have any cash,

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Speaker 2: and if I did have cash, I would spend it

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Speaker 2: right away. And I want to share this as well.

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Speaker 2: One of the things that I learned while going through

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Speaker 2: this journey was that I had to learn to pay

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Speaker 2: myself first. And so growing up I was never taught that.

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Speaker 2: I was never taught to put money aside. I was

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Speaker 2: always taught to spend, spend, spend, And once I started

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Speaker 2: going through my debt freedom journey, I had that same

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Speaker 2: mentality of just spending everything by putting it on the

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Speaker 2: debt rather, so I never paid myself and I had

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Speaker 2: to realize that I have to start putting money aside

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Speaker 2: because when things happen, because life is going to happen

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Speaker 2: to us, it's not going to be a perfect ride.

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Speaker 2: There's going to be things that come up. There's going

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Speaker 2: to be things that have to be replaced, things that

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Speaker 2: have to be repaired, But are you positioning yourself to

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Speaker 2: have that cash flow there to fund those things? When

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Speaker 2: it happened, and when I started to notice, like my

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Speaker 2: tires started to go flat, I had to replace my tires,

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Speaker 2: I had to replace gutters, I had to replace major appliances.

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Speaker 1: In my home.

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Speaker 2: That stuff costs a lot of money, right that could

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Speaker 2: be thousands of dollars very quickly. And if you don't

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Speaker 2: have that in the bank, what do you have to do?

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Speaker 2: You put it back on your credit card. So the

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Speaker 2: debt that I was paying off, I was reaccumulating because

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Speaker 2: I wasn't planning ahead and thinking about those anticipated expenses

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Speaker 2: and putting that money to the side. So that was

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Speaker 2: another thing that had to shift in my paradigm by

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Speaker 2: learning to prioritize myself on the pay list, by paying

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Speaker 2: me first after paying my task. Sophia, I'm really curious

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Speaker 2: about your perspective on this. That was very powerful what

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Speaker 2: you shared, and I found that I'm going to be

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Speaker 2: transparent and dom you can tive it a few like

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Speaker 2: I have some selfish questions for you because this is

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Speaker 2: not something that I grew up learning. So I'm like,

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Speaker 2: hold up, let me see if I can ask Sophia

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Speaker 2: these questions. But honestly, what I realized I had to

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Speaker 2: have an honest conversation with myself years ago because I

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Speaker 2: realized that I was in this sort of cycle with

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Speaker 2: my finances where I would make money, max out or

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Speaker 2: rack up credit card debt just to pay it off,

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Speaker 2: and I'd be so accomplished, like, yeah, I paid it off,

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Speaker 2: and I'd just get into that same cycle of where

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Speaker 2: I can get up again and then I pay it off,

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Speaker 2: and then every once in a while I go on

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Speaker 2: this what do they call it retail therapy shopping spree,

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Speaker 2: and I realized, oh wait, I have an issue. No

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Speaker 2: matter how much money I'm making, I keep getting into

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Speaker 2: the cycle. So my question for you is how do

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Speaker 2: you find the balance between being gentle with yourself but

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Speaker 2: also holding yourself accountable and be like, girl, you need

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Speaker 2: to change and do something. How do you find that balance?

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Speaker 2: Because I feel like there is a balance there, right,

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Speaker 2: There is absolutely a balance, and the balance is necessary.

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Speaker 2: So Number one, you have to make sure that you

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Speaker 2: are carving out that space for you to have that

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Speaker 2: fun money is what I call it, right, So you

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Speaker 2: don't want to completely deprive yourself. However, you do want

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Speaker 2: to make sure that you are aware and that you're

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Speaker 2: cognizant of your behaviors. Another thing is you have to

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Speaker 2: have accountability. And I'm talking about accountability outside of you.

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Speaker 2: So sometimes we can try to hold ourselves accountable internally,

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Speaker 2: but you really aren't allowing anyone else to quote unquote

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Speaker 2: check you right or hold you accountable. So if you

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Speaker 2: feel like there's a lack of discipline in that area

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Speaker 2: where you really want to be able to say, hey,

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Speaker 2: this is my goal, this is my plan of attack,

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Speaker 2: this is what I want to do, and I want

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Speaker 2: you to hold me accountable to kind of check in

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Speaker 2: prime example. So I do group coaching, right, So I

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Speaker 2: do group financial coaching. And one of the things that

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Speaker 2: I tell my students anyone who comes into my class

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Speaker 2: is that it's very important to have an accountability partner

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Speaker 2: outside of you and outside of even your spouse, someone

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Speaker 2: in your household, because sometimes you need that external person

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Speaker 2: to be able to hold you accountable to what you

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Speaker 2: said that you want it. So I always tell them

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Speaker 2: to come together to we have of course, our private

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Speaker 2: Facebook group and things of that nature where we post

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Speaker 2: things and we say, hey, this is our goal for

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Speaker 2: the week, or this is my challenge for the month,

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Speaker 2: and this is what I'm planning to do, and we

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Speaker 2: even get vulnerable and share our weaknesses if we overspend

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Speaker 2: in an area, because that's a part of life, that's

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Speaker 2: a part of the cycle. But if you just become

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Speaker 2: aware of what your actions are and what your intentions

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Speaker 2: are and just being truthful with yourself, it will create

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Speaker 2: that balance for you over time. So that would be

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Speaker 2: my advice to share. Yes, I love it.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Now I like that idea of having an accountability partner,

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Speaker 1: right And I like how you pointed out, like, okay,

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Speaker 1: pick people outside of your household, But what other characteristics

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Speaker 1: would you say would be helpful in picking that accountability

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Speaker 1: partner Because one of the things that someone once told

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Speaker 1: me is you don't want to pick an accountability partner

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Speaker 1: who's in your same position, right, Like, you want to

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Speaker 1: pick someone who's at least a little bit ahead of

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Speaker 1: you so that you may be motivated to make progress.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, and I think the key there is not only

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Speaker 2: finding someone that's ahead of you, but also someone that's

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Speaker 2: in then with you. And so one of the things

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Speaker 2: that's important to do is either if you want to

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Speaker 2: get a coach or get someone who who could actually

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Speaker 2: help you guide you carry you along in that area,

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Speaker 2: that would be a good avenue, but you have to

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Speaker 2: find groups or different spaces, find people outside of that,

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Speaker 2: like different Facebook groups of people who are on the

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Speaker 2: same journey that can help hold you accountable. So outside

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Speaker 2: of finding maybe external coaching or maybe financial therapy, whatever

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Speaker 2: the case may be, you have different options. But you

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Speaker 2: do have to kind of think about who do you

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Speaker 2: want to invite into your space and who can trust.

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Speaker 2: And I think with that it kind of takes time

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Speaker 2: to kind of get to know people. And I think

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Speaker 2: with Facebook groups, a lot of times people share their

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Speaker 2: stories and they're willing to be authentic and sharing their truth.

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Speaker 2: And if you find someone who you can connect with,

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Speaker 2: you could always you know, connect and test the words

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Speaker 2: out in that regard. However, if you feel like you

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Speaker 2: want to reach out to someone that is maybe at

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Speaker 2: a higher level, like you said, don then I would

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Speaker 2: say maybe getting involved with a coach or some type

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Speaker 2: of coaching atmosphere.

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Speaker 1: Okay, not Sophia. What I want to do is like,

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Speaker 1: I want to pose all the questions because I know

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Speaker 1: that what happens is is that sometimes psychologically we might

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Speaker 1: be hearing this and we might not be in that

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Speaker 1: stage of change where we're ready to take action. Right,

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Speaker 1: So for our listeners, I want to pose those questions

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Speaker 1: that come up, like or those excuses that we might

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Speaker 1: think of to keep us from taking the next step.

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Speaker 1: So let's say that I only make fifty thousand dollars

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Speaker 1: a year, right, I can't afford a coach, and I

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Speaker 1: don't have time to be on a Facebook group. How

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Speaker 1: do I make this happen? How do I make these changes?

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Speaker 2: Well? Number one, Google and YouTube is your best friend.

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Speaker 2: And so if there is a way and even podcasts, right,

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Speaker 2: if there is a way for you to be able

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Speaker 2: to find the information that you need and find the

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Speaker 2: information that you want, you just have to be diligent

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Speaker 2: and take that step to carve out the time to

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Speaker 2: listen to the episodes, to watch the videos, to get

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Speaker 2: the resources. That's one of the things that I had

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Speaker 2: to do. Like in the beginning, I started this journey alone.

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Speaker 2: I didn't know what I was doing. I had to

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Speaker 2: educate myself and in order to do that, I started

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Speaker 2: to listen to different podcasts. I went on the internet.

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Speaker 2: I was just googling and searching things until I found

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Speaker 2: certain episodes or podcast shows that gave me the momentum

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Speaker 2: that I needed to shift from that space of uncertainty

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Speaker 2: or that space of feeling of temporary defeat. And another

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Speaker 2: thing as well is when it comes to coaching, there

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Speaker 2: are so many programs that the government offers or that

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Speaker 2: these nonprofit agencies offer for free. For free, you can

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Speaker 2: get free financial coach and you can get free financial therapy.

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Speaker 2: But if you're not willing to do the research or

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Speaker 2: to apply for these programs or put your information out there,

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Speaker 2: then you won't be able to get it. And another

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Speaker 2: thing is you have to make time for this. So

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Speaker 2: if you think that you don't have time to be

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Speaker 2: in Facebook groups, so if you feel like you don't

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Speaker 2: have time to watch these videos, then you're not going

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Speaker 2: to have time to do the work. Because to transition

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Speaker 2: your life, to pay off that amount of debt, or

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Speaker 2: to build a healthier relationship with your money, it's going

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Speaker 2: to require effort and it's going to require work on

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Speaker 2: your part. So this isn't going to be an easy

436
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:43,960
Speaker 2: microwavable popcorn success kind of thing. I'm gonna give you

437
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:47,960
Speaker 2: two steps and that's it. No, this is a journ

438
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:51,119
Speaker 2: need you have to actively work at it, and you

439
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:53,720
Speaker 2: have to be willing to put in the work, do

440
00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:57,200
Speaker 2: the research, reach out, do the mental work to work

441
00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:01,040
Speaker 2: on your mindset to help you shift to move into action.

442
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:04,960
Speaker 2: So it sounds like this is really a relationship with

443
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:08,320
Speaker 2: money for sure, it's just like any other relationship in life.

444
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:11,320
Speaker 2: Is something that I'm learning. But then also it's going

445
00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:15,120
Speaker 2: to take some time and it's a process, and as

446
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:20,560
Speaker 2: Dove always says, trust the process, right, yes, trust the

447
00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:24,240
Speaker 2: process yes. So it's a relationship, right, and it takes

448
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:27,439
Speaker 2: time and also an active decision, like you know, we

449
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:28,960
Speaker 2: often hear like we have to be the heroes of

450
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:30,960
Speaker 2: our own stories. I love that you brought up different

451
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:33,600
Speaker 2: ways that we can tap into other resources like podcasts

452
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,160
Speaker 2: and some of the grants and free offerings. So maybe

453
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:37,919
Speaker 2: we can get some of those from you, Sofia, and

454
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:41,159
Speaker 2: also add them in the show notes too. Absolutely, I

455
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:44,399
Speaker 2: can definitely share a few yes. And then when you

456
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:48,359
Speaker 2: think about you know, your journey, it's so inspiring. I mean, Sophia,

457
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:51,160
Speaker 2: you said three hundred and twenty five thousand dollars in debt?

458
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 2: Is that right?

459
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:54,080
Speaker 3: Three hundred and sixty five was?

460
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:58,679
Speaker 2: She said? Three hundred and sixty five? Okay? And the

461
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:00,639
Speaker 2: fact that you are where you are now and this

462
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:03,439
Speaker 2: has totally transformed your life as far as your financial journey,

463
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:06,680
Speaker 2: how did you manage to pay off such a massive

464
00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:09,560
Speaker 2: amount of debt in the midst of the stressors you

465
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:11,520
Speaker 2: were faced with? Because I know, Sophia, I've heard you

466
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:14,200
Speaker 2: speak at conferences and I know you've had I mean,

467
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,240
Speaker 2: this is just your financial journey we're talking about, but

468
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:18,800
Speaker 2: you had your own familiar journey, you know, as far

469
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:21,399
Speaker 2: as like with your parents and other stressors in life,

470
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:23,920
Speaker 2: So like, how were you able to be a caregiver,

471
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 2: work and then pay off debt at the same time.

472
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:30,320
Speaker 2: I'm hoping that you can offer some advice for folks

473
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:32,720
Speaker 2: that are in the midst of this pandemic, right and

474
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:34,880
Speaker 2: how they can kind of get their financial house in order.

475
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:35,160
Speaker 1: Now.

476
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:39,120
Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely, I will tell you right now. It took

477
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:43,360
Speaker 3: a lot of sacrifice and a lot of discipline. Let

478
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:45,639
Speaker 3: me tell you, I had to give up a lot.

479
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:48,080
Speaker 3: And the reason why I had to give up a lot,

480
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 3: like you said, is because I was managing to households,

481
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:56,480
Speaker 3: and so I had to make a choice to decide, Okay,

482
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 3: if I'm going to do this, I have to be

483
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:02,159
Speaker 3: willing to give up something temporarily, right, So it's a

484
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:04,879
Speaker 3: temporary sacrifice for long term gain.

485
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:08,479
Speaker 2: That's what I kept telling myself. And to start, I

486
00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:13,040
Speaker 2: had to number one, began to reprioritize where my money

487
00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:15,960
Speaker 2: was going. And so what that looked like was me

488
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:20,600
Speaker 2: identifying my spending patterns, looking at my income and looking

489
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 2: at my expenses and seeing what I could cut and

490
00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:28,320
Speaker 2: eliminate immediately. And so when I looked at the amount

491
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:31,560
Speaker 2: of money that I was spending on eating out, you guys,

492
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 2: I spent at least twenty to twenty five dollars a

493
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:39,800
Speaker 2: day on food breakfast in the morning at work, lunch

494
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:44,119
Speaker 2: during work, and that didn't even include the outings and

495
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:46,240
Speaker 2: things of that nature when I would meet up with

496
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,880
Speaker 2: friends or have dinner. So I was spending about five

497
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:52,800
Speaker 2: hundred dollars a month on eating out along. So you

498
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:55,080
Speaker 2: know what I did. I cut that out. That was

499
00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:57,480
Speaker 2: the number one expense that I cut out. And then

500
00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:00,359
Speaker 2: I started to think about, Okay, I have to be

501
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:05,480
Speaker 2: able to bring in multiple income sources. I cannot just

502
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:10,720
Speaker 2: rely on my nine to five salary to pay for this.

503
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:14,399
Speaker 2: I had to think bigger, and so I asked myself

504
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:17,240
Speaker 2: a couple of questions. What are the things that my

505
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 2: friends or that people come to me and ask me

506
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:24,480
Speaker 2: to do for free? So, prime example, I'm an accountant, right,

507
00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:27,360
Speaker 2: so that's my background. So I did taxes. So I

508
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:30,160
Speaker 2: would do my friends taxes for free all the time,

509
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:32,680
Speaker 2: their family members, everybody. They were be like, oh, because

510
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 2: I used to be an auditor, so they'd be like, okay,

511
00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:36,720
Speaker 2: well can you do my TAXI sure, I'm all about compliance.

512
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:38,240
Speaker 2: I just want to make sure your stuff is right.

513
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:40,960
Speaker 2: So I would do that taxes. But when I started

514
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:44,440
Speaker 2: this journey, I had to put a price on my gift.

515
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:47,560
Speaker 2: I was like, wait a minute, wait a minute, I

516
00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:49,920
Speaker 2: have to start charging. So I start charging for that.

517
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:54,240
Speaker 2: I'm relatively good with writing. I did resumes. People would

518
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:57,000
Speaker 2: ask me to redo their resumes, so I started to

519
00:28:57,120 --> 00:29:00,520
Speaker 2: charge for that. I started getting money. So I just

520
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:04,280
Speaker 2: started to think and extract and figure it out how

521
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:06,960
Speaker 2: I could put a price tag on my gift. And

522
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:09,640
Speaker 2: I started charging people and they started paying me. So

523
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:12,240
Speaker 2: I was getting my money from work. I was getting

524
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:16,240
Speaker 2: my money from outsourcing my gifts, and then as well,

525
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 2: I started to make phone calls to see how I

526
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:25,160
Speaker 2: could lower my expenses. What companies did I have business

527
00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:27,720
Speaker 2: with for a long time that I could say, Hey,

528
00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:31,200
Speaker 2: this is my favorite line. You guys. I would always

529
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:34,040
Speaker 2: call and say, I'm having financial hardship right now, I'm

530
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:36,360
Speaker 2: going to have to cut my expense. I'm going to

531
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:39,680
Speaker 2: have to cancel my service. These companies they don't want

532
00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:42,680
Speaker 2: to lose your service, right so they're going to figure

533
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:46,080
Speaker 2: out a way to help you to lower your bill

534
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:51,600
Speaker 2: and keep you as a customer. So every six months,

535
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:55,200
Speaker 2: every year, I would be calling all of my vendors.

536
00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:57,040
Speaker 2: On my mom's side, because I had to do her

537
00:29:57,080 --> 00:30:00,600
Speaker 2: expenses as well as my own, I would just say

538
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:03,440
Speaker 2: the same story every time, I'm having financial hardship, and

539
00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:05,320
Speaker 2: I would go from paying a two hundred and forty

540
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 2: two dollar bill to one hundred and thirty dollar bill,

541
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:10,280
Speaker 2: or I would go from one hundred and thirty dollar

542
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:13,880
Speaker 2: bill to a fifty dollar bill. Another thing that's huge,

543
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:19,240
Speaker 2: you guys, is watching your utility bills. So utilities, it's

544
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 2: a mandatory expense. It's a primary expense that you need

545
00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:25,640
Speaker 2: for your home. But one thing that we don't realize

546
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 2: is how many things that we have plugged up in

547
00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 2: our house that we don't use. So I did an experiment,

548
00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:33,840
Speaker 2: like I like to test things out. So I looked

549
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:37,480
Speaker 2: at you. So I looked at my electric bill for

550
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:40,640
Speaker 2: a period, and I was like, you know what all

551
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:42,840
Speaker 2: of this stuff is drawing current? I have all of

552
00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:45,400
Speaker 2: these sockets plugged in, all of these things plugged in

553
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:48,400
Speaker 2: lights that's not even in use. So I said, let

554
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:51,760
Speaker 2: me just do an experiment and just unplug everything to

555
00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:57,960
Speaker 2: see what happens. You guys, I had my electric bill

556
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,400
Speaker 2: on average was about one hundred and thirty hundred and

557
00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 2: forty dollars a month when I did this for a

558
00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:05,880
Speaker 2: thirty thirty five day window, because you know, you have

559
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:08,040
Speaker 2: to make sure that you know it gets the ranges

560
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:10,719
Speaker 2: for whatever the cycle is. The next time I got

561
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:14,320
Speaker 2: the bill, my lowest bill was thirteen dollars and ten cent.

562
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:15,800
Speaker 4: Just by one.

563
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:20,880
Speaker 2: I'm no lie, oh my no lies. Oh you got

564
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:25,880
Speaker 2: game game, Sophia. You better go ahead, girl, No listen,

565
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:26,880
Speaker 2: I need to know.

566
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:30,840
Speaker 1: I need to know because especially considering that, like all

567
00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:33,120
Speaker 1: of us are working from well not all of us.

568
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:36,240
Speaker 1: A lot of us are working from home or have

569
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:42,760
Speaker 1: kids at home, and there's appliances and things galore plugged in,

570
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:45,600
Speaker 1: and lights have to be turned on, and it's the

571
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:49,960
Speaker 1: summertime and so air conditioning and fans and all of that.

572
00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:52,640
Speaker 1: I need to break down.

573
00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:56,360
Speaker 2: Well, I think for me because I lived alone, so

574
00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,320
Speaker 2: I think for parents it'll probably be a little bit

575
00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:03,280
Speaker 2: more difficult with trying to manage that. So, for example,

576
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:05,120
Speaker 2: I told one of my clients to do the same

577
00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:07,720
Speaker 2: thing because she had an electric bill that was six

578
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:11,120
Speaker 2: hundred dollars. And yeah, it was I think it was

579
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:13,120
Speaker 2: five of them in the house. And then when we

580
00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:16,200
Speaker 2: were up, yeah, and I said, you know what, I said,

581
00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:18,560
Speaker 2: just look around. Go into an empty room right now

582
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:21,240
Speaker 2: and tell me how many things are plugged in. And

583
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:23,600
Speaker 2: when she went into the room, she saw that, you know,

584
00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:27,120
Speaker 2: the kids had the what is it, the iPhone charger

585
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 2: stuff plugged in, the lamps were plugged in, all of

586
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:32,520
Speaker 2: these things, but no one was in the room. And

587
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:37,120
Speaker 2: so I said, well, I know it's probably gonna seem taxing,

588
00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 2: but every time you see something you need to unplug it.

589
00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:42,400
Speaker 2: If it's not in use, unplug it if it's not

590
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:46,040
Speaker 2: in use, turn off the lights, whatever the case may be.

591
00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 2: In remind the kids as well. I mean, sometimes the

592
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:51,479
Speaker 2: kids are younger, so they may not necessarily remember. But

593
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:54,640
Speaker 2: she did that. She did that, and not during COVID,

594
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:57,560
Speaker 2: you know, but this was pre COVID. But she did that.

595
00:32:57,720 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 2: She was making sure that she was pulling things out.

596
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:04,680
Speaker 2: Per electric bill dropped to two fifty it was under

597
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:08,280
Speaker 2: three hundred dollars just by doing that. Wow, So it

598
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:11,960
Speaker 2: really it really makes a difference. Now, like I said,

599
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 2: it's probably going to be a hassle running behind the

600
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:16,840
Speaker 2: kids trying to unpluck stuff. But if that could save

601
00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:19,040
Speaker 2: you four hundred dollars, I mean, come on.

602
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:22,520
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, right, if it's saving four hundred dollars, I

603
00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:23,640
Speaker 1: will be behind.

604
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 2: Those kids right every second.

605
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:29,520
Speaker 1: Turn that light off? Did you unplug that charger? And

606
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:32,520
Speaker 1: as you're saying that, I'm looking around my space and

607
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:37,080
Speaker 1: I like to think that I'm generally good about these things, right,

608
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:40,880
Speaker 1: But I think what you're pointing out is that all

609
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:44,120
Speaker 1: of us have like little tweaks that we can make

610
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:46,240
Speaker 1: that could save us some money.

611
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, I'm thinking about for parents, how they might

612
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:53,680
Speaker 2: be able to depending on your kids, of course, like

613
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:56,200
Speaker 2: you might be able to even gamify this, right, like

614
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:59,520
Speaker 2: whoever can unplug the most stuff throughout the day or shoot,

615
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:02,440
Speaker 2: y'all have little high and seek day where it's like, Okay,

616
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:05,360
Speaker 2: today we're gonna unplug everything. We're gonna use some flashlights y'all,

617
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:07,880
Speaker 2: just to experiment to see, like how can it impact

618
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:10,879
Speaker 2: your household? That is so incredible. Thank you so much

619
00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:13,120
Speaker 2: for sharing that, Sophia. You're welcome.

620
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:14,000
Speaker 4: You're welcome.

621
00:34:14,239 --> 00:34:19,720
Speaker 2: Game changing. My mind is blown down. Oh my gosh, yes,

622
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:20,600
Speaker 2: nine too.

623
00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:23,120
Speaker 1: And so like, as we're thinking about like these game

624
00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:27,600
Speaker 1: changing tips, would you offer different advice to people depending

625
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:29,000
Speaker 1: on their income level?

626
00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:34,640
Speaker 2: I would, because depending on your situation, Like everyone's situation

627
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:37,000
Speaker 2: is not the same, and so sometimes you do have

628
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 2: to take different measures or different approaches. And so, like

629
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:44,440
Speaker 2: one of the strategies that I share with people is

630
00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:46,960
Speaker 2: you have to figure out a way to minimize the

631
00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:50,120
Speaker 2: interest that you're paying on your debts. And sometimes the

632
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:52,799
Speaker 2: only way to do that is by refinancing it out

633
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:56,960
Speaker 2: or transferring it over to maybe zero percent or finding

634
00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:58,640
Speaker 2: a lower interest rate in order for you to be

635
00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:02,160
Speaker 2: able to do that. But in some cases, people's credit

636
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:05,080
Speaker 2: scores is not in a position that will allow them

637
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:09,800
Speaker 2: to refinance or be able to get a zero percent

638
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:12,560
Speaker 2: interest on the balance transfer or something along those lines.

639
00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:15,760
Speaker 2: And so I do have to share different advice depending

640
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:19,080
Speaker 2: on where you are or where prospects may be or

641
00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:23,240
Speaker 2: people may be, because everyone's situation is not the same.

642
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:28,600
Speaker 2: But when it comes to the basics, the basics is habit, right,

643
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:32,759
Speaker 2: So what would really transform your relationship with money is

644
00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:38,120
Speaker 2: your habits around money. And I think everyone can put

645
00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:41,120
Speaker 2: themselves in a space to identify what their habits are

646
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:46,880
Speaker 2: and make proactive measures to shift and change those because

647
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:50,480
Speaker 2: what's going to happen is is even if you go

648
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:53,359
Speaker 2: through this process of following all of the steps, because

649
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:55,680
Speaker 2: if I give you a plan you pay off the debt,

650
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:57,760
Speaker 2: what's going to happen is you're going to get yourself

651
00:35:57,840 --> 00:36:01,279
Speaker 2: right back in that hole example. And I think you

652
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:06,319
Speaker 2: shared this too in the beginning. So we have to

653
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:09,600
Speaker 2: think about what are our patterns and what are we

654
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:12,440
Speaker 2: doing that's causing us to get in this space in

655
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:14,880
Speaker 2: the first place. And if you really want to experience

656
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:19,000
Speaker 2: transformation in that area, you really have to proactively work

657
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:22,200
Speaker 2: on your habits It's not necessarily about how much money

658
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:24,440
Speaker 2: you make. It's about what you do with the money

659
00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:28,000
Speaker 2: that you make. So you really have to be intentional.

660
00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:30,960
Speaker 2: You have to be aware, you have to be willing

661
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:34,239
Speaker 2: to sacrifice, especially if you are in a space where

662
00:36:34,239 --> 00:36:37,439
Speaker 2: your income levels are a little bit lower. But if

663
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:40,279
Speaker 2: that is the case, just know that you have the

664
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:45,000
Speaker 2: capacity and the eagerness to do it, because there's always

665
00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:49,040
Speaker 2: ways where you can make money to supplement what you need.

666
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:52,320
Speaker 2: So that would always be my advice. How can you

667
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:54,399
Speaker 2: find the money? Like you guys said, make it a gain?

668
00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:56,640
Speaker 2: How can you find the money? This is one thing

669
00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:58,360
Speaker 2: that I share with my clients as well as I

670
00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 2: have them you to lize as this CAP plan, I

671
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:04,960
Speaker 2: call it CAP. So it's what can you cut? Who

672
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:07,440
Speaker 2: can you ask or what can you acquire that you

673
00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:10,560
Speaker 2: could potentially leverage? And then the P stands for what

674
00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:14,280
Speaker 2: can you produce? And so what can you produce comes

675
00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:17,239
Speaker 2: through how can you use maybe your gifts, your talents

676
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:20,240
Speaker 2: to come up with a way to get the money

677
00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:22,880
Speaker 2: that you need to make up for the difference? And

678
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 2: who I like that? Cap? Okay, c AAP that's amazing.

679
00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:28,160
Speaker 2: We'll have to add that in the show notes for sure.

680
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:32,399
Speaker 2: That is so helpful. Sophia, Oh mg, and I want

681
00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:35,239
Speaker 2: you brought up financial therapy, which was a new term

682
00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:37,759
Speaker 2: for me. I'm like, oh, okay, I never thought about that.

683
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:40,120
Speaker 2: And then also, you know, I've heard of financial coaching.

684
00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:42,480
Speaker 2: But when you think about, you know, your first session

685
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:46,200
Speaker 2: with your you know, prospective clients or your new clients,

686
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:49,480
Speaker 2: what does the first session look like in financial coaching,

687
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:51,320
Speaker 2: Like what are some of the questions you ask or

688
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:55,000
Speaker 2: what do you discuss? And how does that look? Oh man,

689
00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:57,880
Speaker 2: I'll tell you right now. It can get heavy, it

690
00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:00,840
Speaker 2: can get really deep. I have several times when I

691
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:03,319
Speaker 2: speak to people for the first time, they always say,

692
00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:05,400
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, just feels like a therapy session. I

693
00:38:05,440 --> 00:38:07,439
Speaker 2: feel like I just need to pay you for this

694
00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:11,440
Speaker 2: because I do deep dive and I ask them those

695
00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:17,040
Speaker 2: tough questions about what do they desire? What do they want,

696
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:20,000
Speaker 2: what do they feel like it's holding them back? What

697
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:23,080
Speaker 2: are some of the obstacles or misconceptions that they may

698
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:27,160
Speaker 2: have seen or experience that's holding them from getting to

699
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:30,239
Speaker 2: that space of desire of where they would actually like

700
00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:33,160
Speaker 2: to be a year from today, two years from today,

701
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:36,600
Speaker 2: five years from today, and so we do tend to

702
00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:40,480
Speaker 2: get deep, we get heavy. I ask a lot of questions.

703
00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:43,760
Speaker 2: One of the things too, is I utilize a sentence

704
00:38:43,760 --> 00:38:46,600
Speaker 2: stem approach, and so it changes from time to time.

705
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:50,960
Speaker 2: So depending on what I'm hearing you say will drive

706
00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:54,400
Speaker 2: the questions or the sentence stem that I start and

707
00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:57,520
Speaker 2: I ask you to answer. And so it's a really

708
00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:02,400
Speaker 2: deep process. We explore a lot, and honestly, it ties

709
00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 2: back to our childhood. It it ties back to our fears,

710
00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:10,440
Speaker 2: It ties back to anxiety and what triggers us to

711
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:13,000
Speaker 2: operate in the way that we do. And one of

712
00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:15,680
Speaker 2: the things that I try to share with folks is that, yes,

713
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:18,640
Speaker 2: the strategy helps, but if you don't deal with the

714
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:22,319
Speaker 2: relationship piece, the strategies aren't really going to serve you

715
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:24,239
Speaker 2: because you're not going to execute it in a way

716
00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:27,280
Speaker 2: that you should in order to be able to achieve

717
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 2: long term results that you can sustain over time and

718
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:33,799
Speaker 2: then teach to your family and to your legacy and

719
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:37,439
Speaker 2: keep carrying that message forward as opposed to the bad

720
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:40,680
Speaker 2: habits that we normally pick up in our households. M

721
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:45,680
Speaker 2: m mmmm, I'm just taking that all that is powerful, right, don.

722
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:51,279
Speaker 1: Yes, Yes, I am loving this and so, Sophia, I

723
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:55,440
Speaker 1: know you said, you know, Okay, you tailor your approach

724
00:39:55,840 --> 00:40:04,200
Speaker 1: to each person's unique situation, and you identified the cap

725
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:12,240
Speaker 1: plan right. If our listeners today, outside of the cap plan,

726
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:19,840
Speaker 1: if they could walk away with a few key pointers,

727
00:40:20,719 --> 00:40:25,600
Speaker 1: what would you identify as those key pointers that universally,

728
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:30,440
Speaker 1: no matter what their situation is, would be helpful for

729
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:35,960
Speaker 1: them to transform their financial future.

730
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:41,120
Speaker 2: Absolutely so. Number one, you have to face the reality

731
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:43,920
Speaker 2: of your situation. So you have to be willing to

732
00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:47,200
Speaker 2: look at the numbers and face where you are. So

733
00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:50,760
Speaker 2: that means going in account by account, statement by statement,

734
00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:54,400
Speaker 2: looking at your debt balances and see exactly what you owe,

735
00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:57,839
Speaker 2: putting it on paper, tieling it up so you can

736
00:40:57,920 --> 00:41:01,839
Speaker 2: have your ultimate number. Once you do that, you have

737
00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:05,320
Speaker 2: to then look at your income that's coming in again

738
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:08,200
Speaker 2: to establish a budget so that you can tell your

739
00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:10,799
Speaker 2: money where to go as opposed to it telling you

740
00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:14,880
Speaker 2: where it's going to go. And then also the most

741
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:21,160
Speaker 2: important is to pay yourself first. If you want to

742
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:24,480
Speaker 2: transform your relationship with money and you want to keep

743
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:27,400
Speaker 2: yourself out of a space of being in debt or

744
00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 2: constantly in debt, you have to learn to pay yourself

745
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:32,560
Speaker 2: first so you can build your reserve. One of the

746
00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:35,000
Speaker 2: things that I always share to is that a lot

747
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:37,600
Speaker 2: of times we as people, we want to be wealthy,

748
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,799
Speaker 2: but we don't do what the wealthy people do. And

749
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:43,680
Speaker 2: we know that the wealthy people do these five things right.

750
00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:48,760
Speaker 2: They say, they dream, they invest, they give, and they plan.

751
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 2: And so out of some of the elements that I

752
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,960
Speaker 2: just shared, three of those are out of that five right,

753
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:57,479
Speaker 2: they give, they plan. So you have to make sure

754
00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:01,680
Speaker 2: that you are making space for them and putting yourself

755
00:42:01,719 --> 00:42:05,319
Speaker 2: in an environment where you can speak freely about where

756
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:07,480
Speaker 2: you are and your finances. I got to share this

757
00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:10,080
Speaker 2: too with you guys, because a lot of times we

758
00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:13,719
Speaker 2: have this fear of having a conversation around money. I

759
00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:16,080
Speaker 2: can't tell you how many clients who I've met with,

760
00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:19,560
Speaker 2: how many students who are in my class who had

761
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:22,640
Speaker 2: this fear of not even wanting to talk about where

762
00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:27,080
Speaker 2: they are in their financial situation. And it is so

763
00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:31,080
Speaker 2: important for us to have the conversations. Get rid of

764
00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:34,680
Speaker 2: the facade. Just tell the truth, right, tell the bold

765
00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:38,680
Speaker 2: truth about where you are and your money, because at

766
00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:41,560
Speaker 2: the end of the day, especially your kids need to

767
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:46,360
Speaker 2: see what is truly required in order to survive in

768
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:49,279
Speaker 2: this world. We don't want to have conversations with them.

769
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:51,520
Speaker 2: We don't want to be truthful with them. We don't

770
00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:54,959
Speaker 2: want to share what's necessary for them to be able

771
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:57,640
Speaker 2: to learn what they need to learn to effectively operate

772
00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:00,440
Speaker 2: from their resources. And so I think that from the

773
00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:03,440
Speaker 2: lack of conversation that not only happens in our household,

774
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:05,920
Speaker 2: but the lack of conversation that we just want to

775
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:09,240
Speaker 2: have period when it comes to our money and money.

776
00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:12,360
Speaker 2: It's a healthy conversation. Money is something that we should

777
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:15,279
Speaker 2: be talking about on a consistent basis. And I just

778
00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:18,880
Speaker 2: want to encourage everyone who is listening to be okay

779
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:22,279
Speaker 2: with being truthful about where you are and your finances

780
00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:25,760
Speaker 2: because you are not alone. There is no shame. Somebody

781
00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:28,759
Speaker 2: else then been where you are in worse places. So

782
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:31,800
Speaker 2: be willing to share your story and share your truth

783
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:34,919
Speaker 2: because you never know what you may share could lead

784
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:38,719
Speaker 2: ultimately to you helping someone else or them ultimately turn

785
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:40,600
Speaker 2: around and blessing and helping you.

786
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:44,000
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, thank you so much for that.

787
00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:47,840
Speaker 2: You're welcome now, Sofia, we're going to change up the

788
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:51,640
Speaker 2: energy of our interviews today. You've already dropped so many gems,

789
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:53,120
Speaker 2: so we just want to add a little bit of

790
00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:55,680
Speaker 2: fun and end this interview on a positive note. So, Sophia,

791
00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:59,800
Speaker 2: because we recognize and appreciate, and of course we celebrate

792
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:02,799
Speaker 2: the multifaceted woman, and we believe that it's okay to

793
00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:06,560
Speaker 2: be classy and ratchet and you can still be elegant

794
00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:09,400
Speaker 2: and dance to strip club music, we want to invite

795
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:13,120
Speaker 2: you to the oh you clatch it segment? So, Sophia,

796
00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:17,200
Speaker 2: do you take on the challenge? I will take on

797
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:19,480
Speaker 2: the challenge.

798
00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:25,120
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, we appreciate that excitement. So get ready, all right, oh,

799
00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:33,120
Speaker 1: all hight. The first question work for two steps?

800
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:38,799
Speaker 2: Oh two step? Two step A okay, okay, okay, got

801
00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 2: your drinking and two steps to drinking too, step. I

802
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:46,720
Speaker 2: love it. Okay, Sophia, what topic can you talk about

803
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:50,360
Speaker 2: all day? Oh my gosh, financial literacy. Yes. I was like,

804
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:52,960
Speaker 2: that's a given, that's a given, right, awesome, awesome. I'm

805
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:54,240
Speaker 2: going to hand it back over to Dome.

806
00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:56,880
Speaker 1: Yes, I kind of figured that was going to be

807
00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:59,680
Speaker 1: the answer to that would all right, so you got

808
00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:04,239
Speaker 1: your making your two step? Now what song will get

809
00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:07,920
Speaker 1: you to the dance floor to get into that two step.

810
00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:11,040
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, y'are probably gonna laugh at me, but

811
00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:13,239
Speaker 3: Frankie Beverly amazed before.

812
00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:18,879
Speaker 2: I let go of the Yes, that's the theme song

813
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 2: right there, the family reunion theme song.

814
00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:23,960
Speaker 4: That doesn't make sense.

815
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:25,759
Speaker 2: That does make sense to me.

816
00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:30,319
Speaker 1: I have a party without Frankie Beverly a maid.

817
00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:36,359
Speaker 2: That's right. Okay, So, Sophia, what is your biggest pet peeve? Oh,

818
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:42,440
Speaker 2: my gosh, biggest pet peeve. It's probably the chimes on

819
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:45,719
Speaker 2: my phone. So my phone. I have two phones and

820
00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:48,960
Speaker 2: they go off like crazy, and I get so annoyed

821
00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:52,160
Speaker 2: when every time I hear ding ding ding, so nine

822
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:56,919
Speaker 2: times I out of ten, my ringers off. I hear that,

823
00:45:57,640 --> 00:45:58,120
Speaker 2: I hear that.

824
00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:05,080
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, okay, one final question. What would your stripper

825
00:46:05,239 --> 00:46:05,799
Speaker 1: name be?

826
00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:07,160
Speaker 2: Oh?

827
00:46:07,239 --> 00:46:12,560
Speaker 1: My goodness, yeah, yeah, we were going there.

828
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:13,759
Speaker 2: You said you were up for it.

829
00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:21,080
Speaker 3: Oh oh, I'm you're right saying the debt demolishing.

830
00:46:22,719 --> 00:46:25,200
Speaker 2: The stage, the debt demolisher.

831
00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:34,320
Speaker 1: We're hurt by taking your coins.

832
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:41,160
Speaker 2: As bob A, we just want to thank you so much, lady,

833
00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:43,880
Speaker 2: for your gift, for the work that you do, for

834
00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:46,840
Speaker 2: you just being an inspiration and all the gems in

835
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:49,279
Speaker 2: the game that you've dropped today for our listeners. Thank

836
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:52,239
Speaker 2: you so much. We would love to know where our

837
00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:55,000
Speaker 2: listeners can find you online and reach out to you

838
00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:58,960
Speaker 2: for some financial services and any other offerings that you have. Yes,

839
00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:00,160
Speaker 2: absolutely so.

840
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:03,240
Speaker 3: I can be found of course on my website Sophiamlanie

841
00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:07,600
Speaker 3: dot com. That's my personal branding website, or you can

842
00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:11,040
Speaker 3: reach me on my company's website, which is smash Debtinc

843
00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:15,960
Speaker 3: dot com, and of course on social media platforms Instagram, LinkedIn,

844
00:47:16,520 --> 00:47:18,320
Speaker 3: and I am Sophia Melanie.

845
00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:23,080
Speaker 4: Hey lady, it's doctor Dom here from the Herspace podcast.

846
00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:25,399
Speaker 4: Do you have a burning question you're dying to get

847
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:29,080
Speaker 4: feedback on? Do you want an unbiased perspective on a

848
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:33,720
Speaker 4: situation you're facing? If so, visit her Space podcast dot

849
00:47:33,760 --> 00:47:38,120
Speaker 4: com and click ask doctor Dom under the start here option.

850
00:47:38,640 --> 00:47:41,400
Speaker 4: Every Tuesday, I'll choose a few questions and answer them

851
00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:45,560
Speaker 4: at random. Thanks for joining us today in her Space.

852
00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:51,480
Speaker 4: Please note that our show may contain conversations about self help, advice,

853
00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:55,279
Speaker 4: self empowerment, and mental health, but it is by no

854
00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 4: means meant to be a substitute for an ongoing formal relationship.

855
00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:04,000
Speaker 4: They trained mental health provider. If you or someone you

856
00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:07,720
Speaker 4: know is in need of mental health care. Please visit

857
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:12,400
Speaker 4: the Therapy for Black Girls directory Psychology today or contact

858
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:13,560
Speaker 4: your insurance provider.

859
00:48:14,080 --> 00:48:15,759
Speaker 2: If you liked what you heard and want to keep

860
00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:19,160
Speaker 2: the conversation going, connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and

861
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:24,120
Speaker 2: Twitter at her space podcast or check out our website

862
00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:28,400
Speaker 2: at herspacepodcast dot com. And before we meet again, repeat

863
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:32,200
Speaker 2: after me. I am not limited by any past thinking.

864
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:34,759
Speaker 2: I choose my thoughts with care.

865
00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:42,839
Speaker 4: We'll see you next week, Lady