WEBVTT - Two Things Can Be True At The Same Time: Part 3 [The Mini-Series] (Outweigh) 0:00:00.440 --> 0:00:04.520 I won't let my body out be outwait everything that 0:00:04.640 --> 0:00:07.960 I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change. 0:00:08.680 --> 0:00:12.479 I'm learning to love who I am. I get I'm strong, 0:00:12.880 --> 0:00:18.759 I feel free, I know every part of me. It's beautiful. 0:00:19.480 --> 0:00:24.639 And then will always out way if you feel. 0:00:24.360 --> 0:00:27.880 It, but you are She'll some love to the hy 0:00:28.000 --> 0:00:31.520 have there. Take you one day and did you and 0:00:31.720 --> 0:00:33.199 die out. 0:00:33.000 --> 0:00:35.800 Way happy Saturday? 0:00:35.840 --> 0:00:36.160 Outweit. 0:00:36.440 --> 0:00:39.959 I am Amy Brown, I'm Leanne Ellington, and we are 0:00:40.000 --> 0:00:43.360 on part three of a mini series called Two Things 0:00:43.400 --> 0:00:45.440 Can Be True at the Same Time, and today we 0:00:45.479 --> 0:00:48.600 are focusing on how you can be on the journey 0:00:48.600 --> 0:00:52.720 to self love and self worth and still have really 0:00:52.760 --> 0:00:57.680 crappy thoughts about yourself show up technical term crappy thoughts. Yes, 0:00:57.920 --> 0:01:01.080 I mean it's not like a oh I am healed 0:01:01.320 --> 0:01:05.160 and my brain never goes down that road again. And 0:01:05.200 --> 0:01:09.119 I'm thinking, as it's July first, when this episode's coming out, 0:01:09.319 --> 0:01:11.399 if you're listening on time, if not, maybe you're listening 0:01:11.440 --> 0:01:14.680 on the second, third, July fourth is this coming week, 0:01:14.920 --> 0:01:18.120 and I feel like that's always a time for me. 0:01:18.200 --> 0:01:19.920 I don't know why, because I think in the past 0:01:20.080 --> 0:01:22.920 that's something I always is like, oh, barbecue, What am 0:01:22.959 --> 0:01:23.520 I going to eat? 0:01:23.720 --> 0:01:27.200 What am I going to do? Getting there? Yeah? 0:01:27.280 --> 0:01:28.960 What am I? Yeah? Am I gonna have to be 0:01:29.000 --> 0:01:30.160 in a swim zoo or whatever? 0:01:30.200 --> 0:01:31.520 Everything other than being present? 0:01:31.920 --> 0:01:35.120 Yeah, exactly, or maybe even just solely missing out that 0:01:35.240 --> 0:01:38.800 not even going staying home, because that's safer, yep, than 0:01:38.880 --> 0:01:41.200 all the thoughts that were in my head. And so 0:01:41.760 --> 0:01:44.760 if you're listening to Outweigh, I feel as though. 0:01:45.080 --> 0:01:47.280 You're on the journey because you're curious. 0:01:47.360 --> 0:01:50.400 So either you're already in some sort of recovery or 0:01:50.400 --> 0:01:53.120 maybe you're in the throes of some very disordered behaviors, 0:01:53.160 --> 0:01:55.640 but you're putting some tools in your toolbox and this 0:01:55.800 --> 0:01:58.880 is one of those things, one of many that you. 0:01:59.080 --> 0:01:59.880 Have access to. 0:02:00.520 --> 0:02:03.760 But just know that it's always a journey. Yeah, And 0:02:03.840 --> 0:02:07.160 like I still even I need to get the exact math. 0:02:07.400 --> 0:02:10.160 I know that it was twenty twenty, so we'll just 0:02:10.160 --> 0:02:14.840 say three years three months, probably three years three months, Yes, 0:02:15.000 --> 0:02:18.080 after I really committed to the work to be like, 0:02:18.120 --> 0:02:19.320 I'm done with this. 0:02:19.760 --> 0:02:20.560 I'm exhausted. 0:02:20.600 --> 0:02:24.760 I don't want to have these disordered behaviors or thoughts anymore. 0:02:25.160 --> 0:02:29.520 But guess what the behaviors have disappeared, but the thoughts 0:02:29.520 --> 0:02:32.240 still creep back up. Which if I were to entertain 0:02:32.280 --> 0:02:34.680 the thoughts more and more and more, then the behaviors 0:02:34.680 --> 0:02:38.560 would come back, because about the thoughts become the behaviors. 0:02:38.840 --> 0:02:41.720 Yeah, and we're not our thoughts, you know, So I think, 0:02:41.840 --> 0:02:43.760 you know, first of all, coming back to the two 0:02:43.800 --> 0:02:45.280 things can be true at the same time. You can 0:02:45.320 --> 0:02:48.080 be on this amazing journey and still present day, like 0:02:48.120 --> 0:02:50.880 we're both raising our hands, have these crappy thoughts show up, 0:02:50.919 --> 0:02:53.040 because it's not this one and done thing, because you're 0:02:53.040 --> 0:02:55.600 a human twenty four hours a day, right, So I 0:02:55.639 --> 0:02:58.920 think setting ourselves up for the expectation that like healing 0:02:59.200 --> 0:03:04.280 and constantly having just human thoughts, they can coexist. But 0:03:04.320 --> 0:03:07.880 it's about having the tools to be aware when they're happening, 0:03:08.040 --> 0:03:10.919 not take you down rabbit holes, not send you down 0:03:10.960 --> 0:03:14.160 these downward spirals. Because the other thing that's really important 0:03:14.160 --> 0:03:16.400 to mention is we say we are not our thoughts, 0:03:16.400 --> 0:03:18.960 but like we feel a certain way, and it's our 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:20.480 thoughts that are creating the feelings. 0:03:20.560 --> 0:03:21.679 Right, we have a circumstance. 0:03:21.720 --> 0:03:24.200 So for example, with my clients, you know, if they 0:03:24.200 --> 0:03:25.760 come to me and they're like oh, like I feel 0:03:25.800 --> 0:03:28.000 so badly about my body, or I've gained weight, or 0:03:28.040 --> 0:03:31.079 I'm the heaviest I've been. That's the circumstance. But their 0:03:31.160 --> 0:03:35.480 thoughts about their circumstance is what's creating the emotion that 0:03:35.520 --> 0:03:41.240 they're feeling, whether it's shame, comparison, regret, disappointment, embarrassment versus 0:03:41.560 --> 0:03:45.640 the same circumstance, same body, just having acceptance. And one 0:03:45.640 --> 0:03:48.320 of my favorite acceptance thoughts and beliefs is like, hey, 0:03:48.320 --> 0:03:50.880 I don't have to like this, but the sooner I 0:03:50.880 --> 0:03:52.560 can accept it, the sooner I can actually go do 0:03:52.600 --> 0:03:54.840 something about it. And just finding we don't have to 0:03:54.840 --> 0:03:56.880 go to roses and butterflies like, oh my gosh, I 0:03:56.920 --> 0:03:59.440 love my body. No, that's not real your self image 0:03:59.440 --> 0:04:01.440 isn't gona believe that if you're going from I hate 0:04:01.480 --> 0:04:04.160 my body too, I love my body, right, but the 0:04:04.720 --> 0:04:06.800 acceptance of just like, hey, I don't have to like it, 0:04:06.840 --> 0:04:08.400 but this is what I weigh right now, or this 0:04:08.440 --> 0:04:09.880 is what I look like, or this is the shape 0:04:09.880 --> 0:04:11.920 and size of my body right now, And the sooner 0:04:11.960 --> 0:04:14.480 I can accept that this is what's happening, the sooner 0:04:14.520 --> 0:04:16.799 I can move through it. Because as Byron Katie says. 0:04:16.880 --> 0:04:20.000 She says, when we argue with reality, we suffer. When 0:04:20.000 --> 0:04:22.600 we argue with reality, we suffer. So again coming back 0:04:22.640 --> 0:04:25.120 to this idea of our thoughts. Yes, you're not your thoughts. 0:04:25.160 --> 0:04:27.200 But even when the thoughts come up, like not arguing 0:04:27.240 --> 0:04:30.359 with them, not making them wrong, not shaming yourself for 0:04:30.440 --> 0:04:33.240 having them, not shaming your shame even right, just being 0:04:33.320 --> 0:04:35.640 aware of when they come up, noticing what you're noticing, 0:04:35.680 --> 0:04:38.719 but also having the tools to not take yourself down 0:04:38.720 --> 0:04:41.240 these rabbit holes, or at least cut down the rabbit 0:04:41.240 --> 0:04:42.240 holes as they come up. 0:04:42.760 --> 0:04:46.040 I'm listening to for the second time, breaking the habit 0:04:46.080 --> 0:04:50.239 of being yourself Jodaspenza. Yes, yes, and a quote from 0:04:50.520 --> 0:04:56.000 that book is warning, when feelings become the means of thinking, 0:04:56.520 --> 0:04:59.719 or if we cannot think greater than how we feel, 0:05:00.040 --> 0:05:03.640 can never change. To change is to think greater than 0:05:03.640 --> 0:05:07.200 how we feel. To change is to act greater than 0:05:07.240 --> 0:05:09.880 the familiar feelings of the memorized self. 0:05:09.960 --> 0:05:12.279 Yes, it's such a good way of putting it. Memorized self. 0:05:12.320 --> 0:05:14.640 You know, one of my friends always says, feelings are 0:05:14.640 --> 0:05:17.679 not facts, right, They're not the truth. They're not always 0:05:17.680 --> 0:05:20.760 telling you the truth, right, They're just a memorized experience 0:05:20.800 --> 0:05:23.560 in our nervous system that get fired and wired off 0:05:23.600 --> 0:05:25.360 the back of these thoughts. And a lot of times 0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:29.520 of the thoughts are on repeat. Right, then we've memorized. 0:05:29.520 --> 0:05:31.839 We got a lot of fired and wired memorization going 0:05:31.880 --> 0:05:32.240 on there. 0:05:32.400 --> 0:05:35.400 They know, over and over and over. It's a great 0:05:35.440 --> 0:05:38.080 way to put it. Which you know, I've heard two 0:05:39.040 --> 0:05:42.000 your thoughts on this, Like, feelings they're part of our 0:05:42.400 --> 0:05:44.760 our being, Like they're going to feel them, but they 0:05:45.520 --> 0:05:47.560 write shotgun not in the driver's seat. 0:05:47.760 --> 0:05:50.760 Yeah, they are an effect and a symptom of the 0:05:50.839 --> 0:05:53.960 thoughts that we're thinking, we are creating, like they do 0:05:54.080 --> 0:05:56.919 live downstream. Right, there's the circumstance and then there's the 0:05:56.960 --> 0:06:00.039 thoughts about the circumstance that are causing the feelings. But 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:01.560 the other side of it, two things can be true 0:06:01.600 --> 0:06:04.760 at the same time, right, Like, feelings aren't inherently good 0:06:04.839 --> 0:06:06.080 or bad, right or wrong. 0:06:06.120 --> 0:06:07.040 They all have a place. 0:06:07.080 --> 0:06:09.080 So like, even when I'm feeling shame, that doesn't mean 0:06:09.080 --> 0:06:12.960 it's an air quotes negative emotion, right, but it's labeled negative. 0:06:13.000 --> 0:06:13.880 It's just an emotion. 0:06:13.960 --> 0:06:16.200 It's just an experience that I'm feeling and that shame 0:06:16.279 --> 0:06:16.960 can also. 0:06:16.760 --> 0:06:20.400 Teach me something. It can Is it information? It's information, 0:06:20.680 --> 0:06:22.080 it's data. Yeah. 0:06:22.440 --> 0:06:25.120 So I think there's there's so many different, you know, 0:06:25.160 --> 0:06:27.760 angles to this, but you're right now. The question is 0:06:27.760 --> 0:06:30.240 is like, are are they riding shotgun and being like 0:06:30.279 --> 0:06:33.400 carjacked and somebody else's driving the car, or are they 0:06:33.480 --> 0:06:36.400 riding shotgun and you're mindfully and intentionally like learning how 0:06:36.400 --> 0:06:38.320 to drive and coming back to the two things can 0:06:38.360 --> 0:06:40.280 be true at the same time. I can't tell you 0:06:40.320 --> 0:06:42.680 how many times a client of mine has had just 0:06:42.720 --> 0:06:46.600 like such miraculous breakthrough in their emotional home, like living 0:06:46.839 --> 0:06:49.640 in an emotional home of depression, anxiety, sadness, shame, and 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:51.520 then just living and again not like. 0:06:51.480 --> 0:06:53.480 Oh my gosh, I bro, this is some butterflies, but just. 0:06:53.440 --> 0:06:57.400 Like peace and calm and freedom and acceptance and belief 0:06:57.440 --> 0:06:59.240 in themselves or just like the starts of it, right, 0:06:59.560 --> 0:07:01.840 and then they have something happen in their life aka 0:07:01.839 --> 0:07:04.960 a circumstance that causes a thought that causes a feeling, 0:07:05.520 --> 0:07:07.080 and then they come to me like, oh my gosh, 0:07:07.160 --> 0:07:08.960 I'm back where I started. I thought I was doing 0:07:09.000 --> 0:07:10.560 so well, but I guess I really have it and 0:07:10.640 --> 0:07:12.800 I'm and one of the things I have to remind 0:07:12.840 --> 0:07:16.600 them is that just because you are like temporarily regressed 0:07:16.840 --> 0:07:20.520 or so to speak, regressed, doesn't mean that you have regressed. 0:07:20.960 --> 0:07:22.840 And so that's where it comes back to this, like 0:07:22.880 --> 0:07:24.680 you can be on the journey but also have really 0:07:24.680 --> 0:07:28.120 crappy thoughts come up for yourself because we're always creating thoughts, 0:07:28.120 --> 0:07:29.640 we're meaning making machines. 0:07:30.200 --> 0:07:31.320 And even you know. 0:07:31.320 --> 0:07:33.760 I've said this before on the podcast New Level, New Devil, 0:07:33.800 --> 0:07:36.640 that that quote because like you can, you know, have 0:07:36.800 --> 0:07:38.760 air quotes old problems and you're like, oh, I don't, 0:07:38.800 --> 0:07:40.800 I don't have that problem anymore. But as you're up 0:07:40.840 --> 0:07:43.080 leveling to the next level of yourself, you're gonna create 0:07:43.120 --> 0:07:45.680 new problems and therefore new beliefs and new feelings and 0:07:45.720 --> 0:07:46.320 all the things. 0:07:47.080 --> 0:07:49.600 So when it comes to recognizing the cycle, this loop, 0:07:50.160 --> 0:07:55.480 simply put, a situation arises fourth of July. Yeah, let's 0:07:55.600 --> 0:07:58.200 just bring it back, bringing it back to fourth of July, 0:07:58.320 --> 0:08:00.120 And then I want you to touch on what do 0:08:00.200 --> 0:08:02.960 we do when these thoughts pop into our head, Like, yes, 0:08:03.000 --> 0:08:03.840 they're going to happen. 0:08:03.840 --> 0:08:04.640 Two things can be true. 0:08:04.640 --> 0:08:06.520 I can still have these thoughts, but hey, what's the 0:08:07.400 --> 0:08:09.360 I don't want to sit with them for too long. 0:08:09.560 --> 0:08:10.440 And that's one thing too. 0:08:10.480 --> 0:08:12.920 When you're doing this work, what's really, really, really exciting 0:08:13.120 --> 0:08:15.640 is you can start to catch how quickly you recover 0:08:15.720 --> 0:08:18.800 from some stuff. Stuff that used to spiral me for days. 0:08:19.320 --> 0:08:22.000 Now I'm like, WHOA got over that in thirty minutes? 0:08:22.040 --> 0:08:22.480 What off? 0:08:22.640 --> 0:08:22.920 Yeah? 0:08:23.040 --> 0:08:24.360 And I celebrate it. Yeah. 0:08:24.360 --> 0:08:28.000 So recognizing the cycle simply put A situation arises and 0:08:28.040 --> 0:08:31.000 we have thoughts about the facts of that situation. Those 0:08:31.000 --> 0:08:34.120 thoughts trigger feelings, and based on those feelings, we engage 0:08:34.160 --> 0:08:38.360 in behaviors, which in turn impact the situation, either positively 0:08:38.600 --> 0:08:40.880 or negatively, and the cycle continues. 0:08:41.000 --> 0:08:43.760 Yeah, you're always creating a result, but what changes the 0:08:43.840 --> 0:08:46.800 trajectory of it is your is your thoughts right? 0:08:46.880 --> 0:08:50.600 That changes the trajector Sorry, let's use fourth of July 0:08:50.640 --> 0:08:51.240 as a situation. 0:08:51.280 --> 0:08:53.080 Even though it's a podcast, some people might be listening 0:08:53.080 --> 0:08:56.719 into simmer right, but whatever it is that's coming up. 0:08:56.800 --> 0:09:00.959 Let's say I'm getting ready for the day, the event, whatever, 0:09:01.040 --> 0:09:03.920 and thoughts start to come in, and I know everybody's 0:09:03.920 --> 0:09:07.319 thoughts are all over the map. They could be totally different, 0:09:07.400 --> 0:09:11.200 and also everybody's aha, moment with it all is going 0:09:11.280 --> 0:09:14.880 to look different because again, we've worked for you may 0:09:14.920 --> 0:09:17.520 not work for me at all. But is there sort 0:09:17.559 --> 0:09:20.400 of a blanket we could put on this or a 0:09:20.440 --> 0:09:23.960 starting point from some for some people if they know 0:09:24.080 --> 0:09:27.199 that they're on the path to healing and they're confused 0:09:27.200 --> 0:09:29.560 by some of these thoughts. So when the thoughts come up, 0:09:29.800 --> 0:09:31.640 what's what's a cool thing to do with them? 0:09:31.760 --> 0:09:32.120 Yeah? 0:09:32.160 --> 0:09:35.160 Absolutely, And so come into the summertime thing. A lot 0:09:35.160 --> 0:09:37.280 of you know, body insecurity is a big one for 0:09:37.280 --> 0:09:41.120 summertime because skimpier clothes and hotter weather and all of that. 0:09:41.240 --> 0:09:44.400 So a lot of our body insecurities and you know, 0:09:44.440 --> 0:09:46.000 the body image stuff tends to come up. 0:09:46.040 --> 0:09:47.280 So that's a perfect example. 0:09:47.640 --> 0:09:49.880 But again just kind of actually coming back to what 0:09:49.960 --> 0:09:52.560 we talked about a few minutes ago about accepting the 0:09:52.640 --> 0:09:55.960 reality of what's happening and not sugarcoating it, but just 0:09:56.080 --> 0:09:58.560 moving through acceptance is really the first step. So I 0:09:58.559 --> 0:10:01.559 talk about this idea of the the data versus the drama. 0:10:01.679 --> 0:10:03.960 So the first thing is really just noticing the drama. 0:10:04.080 --> 0:10:06.480 For me, it showed up in the drama of oh 0:10:06.480 --> 0:10:09.520 my gosh, I look fat, or I would call myself labels, 0:10:09.559 --> 0:10:11.960 I'd shame myself. Oh my gosh, everybody's gonna judge me. 0:10:12.000 --> 0:10:14.840 What can I have nothing to wear? Drama, drama, drama, 0:10:14.840 --> 0:10:17.640 fill in the blank, right, So, noticing the drama, bring 0:10:17.640 --> 0:10:20.320 yourself back to the data. The data is I feel 0:10:20.360 --> 0:10:23.120 uncomfortable in my body right now. The data is my 0:10:23.160 --> 0:10:25.560 clothes feel a little bit tight right now. The drama is, 0:10:25.600 --> 0:10:27.520 Oh my gosh, what's wrong with you? You're gross, You're discussing. 0:10:27.559 --> 0:10:30.040 Do you see the difference? So noticing the drama, bringing 0:10:30.040 --> 0:10:32.559 yourself back to the data is step one. The data 0:10:32.679 --> 0:10:35.200 is and we're not sugarcoating the data. We're just being 0:10:35.240 --> 0:10:38.600 truth tellers about it. And then the only thing that 0:10:38.640 --> 0:10:40.840 I invite people to do with it is not turn 0:10:40.880 --> 0:10:43.120 it into a positive, not fake it till we make it, 0:10:43.200 --> 0:10:46.920 not sugarcoat it, but move through acceptance, which is accepting 0:10:47.280 --> 0:10:49.440 what the new truth is. So I don't have to 0:10:49.679 --> 0:10:51.680 like the data. I don't have to like the fact 0:10:51.720 --> 0:10:53.280 that my clothes feel tight right now. I don't have 0:10:53.320 --> 0:10:55.079 to like the fact that I feel like I don't 0:10:55.120 --> 0:10:56.880 have anything to wear. I don't have to like the 0:10:56.920 --> 0:10:58.880 fact that I'm feeling shame about my body. Right now, 0:10:59.120 --> 0:11:01.719 but this is what's happening. And the sooner I can 0:11:01.760 --> 0:11:04.080 accept that this is what's happening and just breathe through it. 0:11:04.200 --> 0:11:06.520 The sooner I can actually go do something about it. 0:11:06.840 --> 0:11:09.320 Because what that does is it creates a pattern, interrupt it. 0:11:09.360 --> 0:11:12.080 First of all, stops the rabbit hole. It makes our 0:11:12.080 --> 0:11:15.880 brain acknowledge like, oh, I'm creating the feeling because of 0:11:15.920 --> 0:11:19.200 my thoughts, I'm creating drama. And it causes you to 0:11:19.200 --> 0:11:21.959 create a new thought, which is just data. And again 0:11:22.000 --> 0:11:23.920 we're not painting roses and butterflies on it. We're not 0:11:23.920 --> 0:11:26.679 saying like, oh, everything in my closet magically fits. But 0:11:26.720 --> 0:11:30.240 the thought that I have absolutely nothing to wear, that's 0:11:30.320 --> 0:11:32.959 drama because you could go in a robe, you know 0:11:33.000 --> 0:11:34.960 what I mean, Like, it's not true, it's not fully true. 0:11:35.160 --> 0:11:36.040 You have something right. 0:11:36.520 --> 0:11:38.920 But the data is I feel like I have nothing 0:11:38.920 --> 0:11:40.559 to wear, or my clothes feel tight right now, or 0:11:40.559 --> 0:11:42.040 I don't like how I'm feeling in my body, and 0:11:42.080 --> 0:11:44.240 just start being a truth teller instead of a drama 0:11:44.280 --> 0:11:47.040 maker to yourself and then moving through acceptance of that 0:11:47.120 --> 0:11:50.320 truth but not sugarcoating it, not having to like it. 0:11:50.400 --> 0:11:53.360 So again the go to I teach my clients is 0:11:53.400 --> 0:11:55.360 I don't have to like X. I don't have to 0:11:55.520 --> 0:11:57.680 like the fact that I'm feeling shame right now. I 0:11:57.679 --> 0:12:00.240 don't have to like the fact that my body feels 0:12:00.280 --> 0:12:02.680 uncomfortable right now. But the sooner I can accept that 0:12:02.679 --> 0:12:04.200 this is what's happening, and the sooner I can move 0:12:04.240 --> 0:12:06.360 through it, because you have to start with acceptance when 0:12:06.400 --> 0:12:09.520 you want to shift it right, And it does create 0:12:09.559 --> 0:12:11.680 that pattern interrupt to keep you from going down that 0:12:11.760 --> 0:12:15.000 rabbit hole. And it just like really takes some it 0:12:15.040 --> 0:12:16.000 takes it off the boil. 0:12:16.880 --> 0:12:19.800 And I would say celebrate every time you're aware of 0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:24.440 the crappy thoughts, because I think there was five decades 0:12:24.880 --> 0:12:28.320 of my life were crappy thoughts for the norm Yeah, 0:12:28.400 --> 0:12:31.600 so I barely even recognize them. That was just the 0:12:31.640 --> 0:12:34.800 way of living, right, And so once you get to 0:12:34.840 --> 0:12:36.920 a point where you and be like, oh, that was 0:12:36.960 --> 0:12:41.720 a crappy thoughts, yeah, I need to redirect, right, celebrate. 0:12:41.200 --> 0:12:43.480 That absolutely, and what it does. 0:12:43.480 --> 0:12:45.240 Then you're going to recognize them more and more because 0:12:45.240 --> 0:12:47.280 your brain celebration lean tell me. 0:12:47.800 --> 0:12:50.800 And what you just said of recognizing it, it enables 0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:53.280 you to hold space so that you can be emotionally 0:12:53.280 --> 0:12:56.240 available to yourself in those moments, rather than ignoring it, 0:12:56.600 --> 0:12:59.960 numbing it, like you know, pretending it's not there, or 0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:01.760 just take yourself down a rabbit hole. So when you 0:13:01.800 --> 0:13:03.120 say I don't have to like the fact that I'm 0:13:03.120 --> 0:13:05.280 feeling shame, what that does for your brain is it 0:13:05.320 --> 0:13:07.319 holds space for the fact that you're feeling shame. 0:13:07.960 --> 0:13:10.640 And also something that just came to mind. If you're 0:13:10.640 --> 0:13:14.240 a journaler, maybe if you're not, everybody can make a 0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:17.520 list whatever event it is that you have coming up 0:13:17.640 --> 0:13:20.679 or whatever party and maybe again maybe it's summer, maybe 0:13:20.720 --> 0:13:25.520 it's Christmas, but what are you looking forward to about 0:13:25.520 --> 0:13:29.839 that event instead of the crappy thoughts that come in 0:13:29.880 --> 0:13:32.559 and then spending time with those I saw this whole 0:13:32.640 --> 0:13:35.360 thing on anxiety, Like if you're flying in an airplane 0:13:35.760 --> 0:13:38.400 and it's really difficult for you to get on that 0:13:38.520 --> 0:13:40.560 the whole time, be making a mental note of where 0:13:40.559 --> 0:13:42.280 you're going, why you're excited to go there, who you're 0:13:42.280 --> 0:13:44.640 going to see, what it's going to be like, how 0:13:44.679 --> 0:13:47.120 much fun you haven't seen this person so long, and 0:13:47.160 --> 0:13:50.839 start going through that list of things that you are 0:13:50.880 --> 0:13:51.679 looking forward too. 0:13:52.040 --> 0:13:56.920 Absolutely, that positive anticipation versus negative anticipation is anxiety. 0:13:57.559 --> 0:13:59.240 Yeah, such a great point. 0:13:59.280 --> 0:14:03.040 You can literally choose what you want to project nice. 0:14:03.720 --> 0:14:06.000 Okay, Well, you can be on the journey to self 0:14:06.000 --> 0:14:08.920 love and self worth and still have really crappy thoughts 0:14:08.920 --> 0:14:09.840 about yourself. 0:14:09.840 --> 0:14:12.480 And now you know about holden space for them. 0:14:13.160 --> 0:14:14.400 Leanne where can people find you? 0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:15.199 Absolutely? 0:14:15.280 --> 0:14:17.640 We talk about a lot of this stuff inside the 0:14:17.640 --> 0:14:20.520 Stressless Eating webinar. So if you are interested in learning 0:14:20.600 --> 0:14:23.520 how to you know, really influence your thoughts and heal 0:14:23.600 --> 0:14:26.200 your self image through your brain, you can check it 0:14:26.240 --> 0:14:28.640 all out at Stressless Eating dot com. 0:14:28.440 --> 0:14:32.160 And I am at Radio Amy on Instagram and we'll 0:14:32.160 --> 0:14:36.240 see you next Saturday. For part four, we'll be talking 0:14:36.240 --> 0:14:39.760 about healing from your disordered eating and having a healthy 0:14:39.800 --> 0:14:46.520 relationship with food and still loving food, sugar, pleasure, joy, 0:14:46.960 --> 0:14:52.280 and still having food stuff that you're continually working through 0:14:52.720 --> 0:14:53.160 all the. 0:14:53.040 --> 0:14:56.600 Three things at the same time. Part four is get 0:14:56.600 --> 0:14:59.600 a little risky with youth. We're going wild. We'll see 0:14:59.640 --> 0:15:03.040 for that Saturday. Bye bye 0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:09.000 MHM.