Speaker 1: Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio
Speaker 1: and the Black Effects, And just like that we back
Speaker 1: on the air. Welcome back to yet another carefully reckless
Speaker 1: episode with your girl Jess. Hilarious. Right, So, look, today's
Speaker 1: going to be a little different. I know, I'm known
Speaker 1: for fixing people's mess and I'm known for reading their stories,
Speaker 1: or you know when I usually read when people submit
Speaker 1: or if people send in voice memos, I let y'all
Speaker 1: listen to them, and then I do my commentary, I
Speaker 1: give my advice and all of that. This is different.
Speaker 1: I want to tell y'all about somebody bringing me their
Speaker 1: mess in person. I did a show a few weeks ago,
Speaker 1: and I did a meet and greet, and I'm not
Speaker 1: going to say the name of the city because I
Speaker 1: don't want people to go find out, because honey, all
Speaker 1: I need to do is say what city I was in.
Speaker 1: They will go and find this guy. They will going,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like it's everything too, It's
Speaker 1: too much these days, people do too damn much. So
Speaker 1: I will keep this man as anonymous as I can.
Speaker 1: I did a meet and greet and this guy came
Speaker 1: up to me and he had asked me what would
Speaker 1: be the most effective and most safest way to come
Speaker 1: out to his friends and his family. And this guy,
Speaker 1: he was a younger gentleman. He told me that he
Speaker 1: was in his mid twenties. He was saying that he's
Speaker 1: known that he was gay for a long time. He's
Speaker 1: been knowing, he's been having these feelings and since he
Speaker 1: was about fourteen. He said that he did actually date
Speaker 1: a girl though, and he tried to date a girl
Speaker 1: even after he realized he was gay, because he didn't
Speaker 1: know if this was just a phase. He didn't know
Speaker 1: if this was just him being curious. You know, he
Speaker 1: didn't know if he was bisexual. He didn't know yet,
Speaker 1: and a lot of people have a hard time with that.
Speaker 1: You don't really know. It has to be a whole
Speaker 1: series of emotions or a whole process before you actually
Speaker 1: get to that point where you can look in the
Speaker 1: mirror and say, Okay, I am a gay woman a
Speaker 1: gay man. It has to be a whole bunch of
Speaker 1: feelings that you go through or you know that you
Speaker 1: haven't even probably processed correctly because you don't know, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. So he was telling me, there's
Speaker 1: a stigma being put on gays. So I'm scared, you know,
Speaker 1: and I'm scared for my profession as well. He was
Speaker 1: telling me that he works in waste, so he's a
Speaker 1: trash truck worker and he works with a lot of
Speaker 1: his friends that he actually grew up with, who has
Speaker 1: no idea that he's gay. He and his friends also
Speaker 1: went through college together, and that whole time he had
Speaker 1: to hide who he was. He was he was sleep
Speaker 1: with women and you know, take one for the team
Speaker 1: and you know, and really fight his gay feelings just
Speaker 1: so he could fit in with his straight friends, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. And that was his whole college life,
Speaker 1: he said. But he said he's tired of it. He's tired.
Speaker 1: He's tired of it. He graduated college at twenty two
Speaker 1: and for the past three years he's been thriving in
Speaker 1: his major and he is just tired of hiding who
Speaker 1: he is, or having to hide who he is. He
Speaker 1: has one friend who knows, and that friend is not gay.
Speaker 1: That friend is by and he wants to come out,
Speaker 1: but he just doesn't know how. He also is an
Speaker 1: avid Jess Hilarious fan, and he actually told me that
Speaker 1: he is aware that I helped Prince come out. Now,
Speaker 1: for those who don't know Prince, Prince was on Reckless
Speaker 1: Discussions season one. That is my brother and friend, and
Speaker 1: that's the guy that I call twin. Prince is not
Speaker 1: my real brother. He's not my real twin. He's not
Speaker 1: my biological friend. I mean, he's not my biological twin
Speaker 1: or brother. He is my real friend, though I call
Speaker 1: on my twin because we have the same birthday. We
Speaker 1: both share February thirteenth for our birthdays, and we just
Speaker 1: happened to hit it off as friends. Chemistry was always
Speaker 1: great from day one, and boom, here we are four
Speaker 1: or five years later. So yes, I helped Prince come out.
Speaker 1: And Prince was a barber. He was a really, really
Speaker 1: good barber, and that was a reason why he didn't
Speaker 1: want to come out as well. He was like, wow, man,
Speaker 1: I don't want to lose my clients. I don't want
Speaker 1: to lose my respect or my reputation as a barber
Speaker 1: because I'm gay, you know what I mean. And it
Speaker 1: was a lot of emotions that he had to go
Speaker 1: through too. You know, Prince also suffered suffered past tense
Speaker 1: from depression, you know, and it's very easy to slip
Speaker 1: in depression when you're battling who you are, constantly having
Speaker 1: to hide who you are every day just to fit
Speaker 1: into society, you know what I mean. So what I
Speaker 1: told him was keep your fucking head up. Fuck everybody,
Speaker 1: because if you live constantly for somebody else, you'll never
Speaker 1: ever be comfortable with yourself. You'll never ever step into
Speaker 1: who you are if you live in for everybody else.
Speaker 1: Then I asked him this, those people who you are
Speaker 1: living for or living to fit in with, are they
Speaker 1: living for you? Could you bet your last dollar on
Speaker 1: these same motherfuckers living for you hiding who they are.
Speaker 1: Imagine them hiding who they are to please you, just
Speaker 1: to fit in with you. Would you even allow something
Speaker 1: like that? And I bought tears to his eyes, not
Speaker 1: that that was something that I was trying to do,
Speaker 1: but I bought tears to his eyes because he actually
Speaker 1: felt what I was saying. Fuck everybody and how they feel.
Speaker 1: If they disagree with who you are, they only need
Speaker 1: to respect you. They don't need to agree with your lifestyle.
Speaker 1: They don't need to patch you on the back for
Speaker 1: coming out. They don't need to kiss your dick and
Speaker 1: balls for saying, yeah, I love men, they just need
Speaker 1: to respect you as a human being. And I remember
Speaker 1: I sat down at the Breakfast Lub a couple of
Speaker 1: weeks ago with trans woman Laverne Cox, and she was
Speaker 1: telling me, I don't know why people get so hung
Speaker 1: up on people having to respect them. No, people don't
Speaker 1: need to respect you. No, people don't need And I
Speaker 1: been fell out of that. If everybody, if I felt
Speaker 1: that way, if I felt the need for everybody to
Speaker 1: respect me, I wouldn't. I don't want to quote her
Speaker 1: a verbatim, because you know she was saying a lot
Speaker 1: of shit, but I totally disagree with that. No, you
Speaker 1: need to respect people as human beings. Yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: we do, Yes we do. Because before you are trands,
Speaker 1: before you are gay, before you are anything, you are
Speaker 1: a fucking human being, before you are black, before you
Speaker 1: are white, before you are anything, we are all the
Speaker 1: same as human beings. That's what we all have in common.
Speaker 1: We are human, We are people. So that's what we
Speaker 1: need to respect each other as first. Any of that
Speaker 1: other shit after that tweach their own, even the shit
Speaker 1: you can't control. You can't control you being gay, You
Speaker 1: can't control you being white. You can't control you being black.
Speaker 1: You can't control that. But we don't have to conform
Speaker 1: to any of that. We don't have to respect any
Speaker 1: of that. We just have to respect firstly as humans.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm always gonna stand on. I don't give
Speaker 1: a fuck. Okay, that's just what that is. So in
Speaker 1: that moment, I saw him as a human being, and
Speaker 1: he saw me as a human being. And I told him,
Speaker 1: not everybody is going to see you as a human
Speaker 1: being because people can't get past your sexuality. A lot
Speaker 1: of people can't get past you being gay. A lot
Speaker 1: of people ain't gonna get past it. But that's not
Speaker 1: your job to worry about the motherfucking people. It's your
Speaker 1: job to worry about yourself. Do what's in the best
Speaker 1: interest of you, for you and buy you. You can't
Speaker 1: have other people dictate your life. Don't hide behind who
Speaker 1: you are. Stand tall, walk in that shit. He was
Speaker 1: mainly worried about his profession, is what I got from it.
Speaker 1: He kept going back to him being a trash truck worker.
Speaker 1: And he was just like, man, you know my friends
Speaker 1: that I work with, they have no idea and my profession.
Speaker 1: You don't see gay niggas every day, and it's just
Speaker 1: like it's I'm scared, you know, and I do a
Speaker 1: manly job, and a nigga. You can be a man
Speaker 1: asked gay man. That don't matter. Just because you gay
Speaker 1: on me, you ain't manly. We got some buffneck niggas
Speaker 1: fucking other niggas out here, and they doing it and
Speaker 1: doing it well. Oh, every gay is not flamboyant. Every
Speaker 1: gay nigga ain't the same. Some niggas you can look
Speaker 1: at and tell they gay. Some niggas you can't. Some
Speaker 1: niggas you can't. Some niggas you might want to fuck
Speaker 1: with just because you can't tell they gay, and they
Speaker 1: so goddamn fine. Like listen, there's no specific look to gay.
Speaker 1: It's either you all or you ain't. You know what
Speaker 1: I mean. And as far as his fucking job, I said, listen,
Speaker 1: you are a beautiful black man. Okay, you work and waste. Okay,
Speaker 1: you work with trash, you work in one of the
Speaker 1: most wealthiest fucking industries. Okay, you make money. You got
Speaker 1: your head on straight. I wish y'all could have seen
Speaker 1: what he had on his ass was swaggy and dapper
Speaker 1: at the same time. He looks so goddamn good, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, you worried about your fucking coworkers. Nigga, we
Speaker 1: work with trash. Y'all better accept that I'm gay and
Speaker 1: keep it the fuck moving. What the fuck are you
Speaker 1: gonna say, Oh, I don't want that gay nigga working
Speaker 1: around my garbage. Get the fuck out of here. You're
Speaker 1: gonna accept me because right now we all stank nigga
Speaker 1: because we working with trash. Ain't no way. I'm just
Speaker 1: a gay nigga working with trash. So it is what
Speaker 1: it is. And I had his ass laughing by the
Speaker 1: end of that fucking meet and greet man, And it
Speaker 1: was amazing to actually share that in person, you know,
Speaker 1: and it actually motivated me for season four of Carefully Reckless.
Speaker 1: I may just actually provide visual to this audio and
Speaker 1: actually sit down with people and work with them through
Speaker 1: their mess in person. I may I may do that,
Speaker 1: like I may want to do. I just I could
Speaker 1: not get past the fact that he was bold enough
Speaker 1: to come up to me, and he just he was
Speaker 1: vulnerable enough to talk to me about it. And then
Speaker 1: he actually he waited to the end of the meet
Speaker 1: and greet, the meet and greet line long as hell.
Speaker 1: He waited at the end and he was one of
Speaker 1: the first people on line, and I seen him kept
Speaker 1: going to the end of the line. I'm like, why
Speaker 1: is he doing that? You know? And he paid that
Speaker 1: forty dollars for that picture and set his ass down
Speaker 1: and talk to me, and we talked for like a
Speaker 1: good fifteen minutes. He laughed, he cried, nigga. I almost
Speaker 1: cried too. I was drunk too, you know, I drunk
Speaker 1: people be I almost cried with him, you know. And
Speaker 1: then we hugged and then that was it. I told
Speaker 1: him check back in with me, and I actually gave
Speaker 1: him some really good advice, and he said, I feel better.
Speaker 1: I honestly really do. I'm not just saying this because
Speaker 1: you're just hilarious. I feel better. I feel so much better.
Speaker 1: And yeah, I want to go talk to my friends.
Speaker 1: You know. They my coworker is just but they are
Speaker 1: my friends. And that's when I calmed down a little bit,
Speaker 1: because I was I was over there, like, whoa, what
Speaker 1: the fuck? They act like they shit, don't stank, and
Speaker 1: y'all working around shit every day. Get the fuck out
Speaker 1: of here, you know, And he was like, nah, these
Speaker 1: my boys, man like, these are my friends, my real friends,
Speaker 1: and I just needed this extra carriage. I needed this
Speaker 1: extra courage to tell them. You know, you gave me that,
Speaker 1: and I just was happy. I was happy that I
Speaker 1: was able to do that for him. So if you're
Speaker 1: listening right now, baby, I love you, and I'm waiting
Speaker 1: for you to check back and with me because I
Speaker 1: don't know when I'm gonna see your finance again, So
Speaker 1: you know, check back in with me. If you love me,
Speaker 1: you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right
Speaker 1: back moving on. This is actually someone that wrote to me. Okay, hey, Jess,
Speaker 1: I've been a big fan of yours for a long time,
Speaker 1: and I happen to be a trans woman and have
Speaker 1: seen all the controversy surrounding your thoughts toward us. I
Speaker 1: recently watched the episode where you were on Breakfast Club
Speaker 1: and spoke about Britney Griner standing up for trans women
Speaker 1: playing sports in the WNBA. You have no idea what
Speaker 1: it's like being a trans woman. Our girlhood is different,
Speaker 1: and the fact that y'all just can't accept that y'all
Speaker 1: are not the only women in this world is so cruel.
Speaker 1: I still love you so much, but I strongly encourage
Speaker 1: you to educate yourself on the trans community and everything
Speaker 1: about it before you speak about us again. I'm team
Speaker 1: Brittany on this one. Okay. So, first of all, thank
Speaker 1: you so much for writing me. I know you must
Speaker 1: have worked up a bunch of courage to hit me
Speaker 1: up and talk to me following what you just saw.
Speaker 1: And I love you too. Thank you. I love you
Speaker 1: first as a person. Like I just told the guy
Speaker 1: in the previous story and told all my listeners, I
Speaker 1: respect people as people and that is it. That is all.
Speaker 1: I respect you as a human being. First of all,
Speaker 1: I want to be very careful with you, not because
Speaker 1: you are trands, but just because you already feel that
Speaker 1: I don't like you. Guys. I know you didn't say that,
Speaker 1: but I feel like that's what you are trying to say,
Speaker 1: that I have some type of something against you. Guys.
Speaker 1: I do not. I do not. I'm gonna be careful
Speaker 1: for you only because you think that. But I'm gonna
Speaker 1: tell you this. When you said I have no idea
Speaker 1: what it's like being a trans woman, no I do not.
Speaker 1: I will never know what it's like, and neither will
Speaker 1: I ever want to know what it's like. You know why,
Speaker 1: I don't have to know what it's like because I'm
Speaker 1: a real woman. I'm a real woman, a biological woman.
Speaker 1: I was born with these parts. I'm going to die
Speaker 1: with these parts. I will not change my parts. I
Speaker 1: have no desire to change who I am, and that
Speaker 1: goes for gender, personality, sexuality. I have no desire. I
Speaker 1: know who I am and I'm standing on that because
Speaker 1: I have the parts to prove who I am, Okay,
Speaker 1: to prove what I was born as. I will always
Speaker 1: be a woman, a biological woman, a real woman. And
Speaker 1: I never thought that I would see the day where
Speaker 1: I have to preach the fact that I am a
Speaker 1: real woman to somebody who is not and who will
Speaker 1: never ever be a real woman. You have no idea
Speaker 1: what it's like being a woman. Okay, you have no idea.
Speaker 1: You will never know what that's like. You will never
Speaker 1: know what that's like. Yes, y'all, girlhood is different because
Speaker 1: y'all are trans girls. It's always gonna be different always.
Speaker 1: That's what y'all have to accept. We don't have to
Speaker 1: accept that, y'all have to accept that every trans woman,
Speaker 1: every trans man, y'all have to accept the fact that
Speaker 1: you are chasing something that you will never catch. And
Speaker 1: I need for y'all to understand. I respect y'all and
Speaker 1: I love y'all as people, but I'm never going to
Speaker 1: ever ever minimize myself me as a real woman, So
Speaker 1: y'all could feel better about y'allselves. Never will I do that.
Speaker 1: And I still love you so much, even after having
Speaker 1: to put you in your place. I love you, really do.
Speaker 1: Hold up. Hold up, I noticed shit getting good. But
Speaker 1: listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If
Speaker 1: you love me, you'll listen now. For the Britney Grinder thing,
Speaker 1: Brittany Grinder said that it's a crime that trans women
Speaker 1: are discriminated against as far as sports goes, and she
Speaker 1: said it's a crime that they can't play sports with women.
Speaker 1: Trans women can't play sports in WNBA. I think she
Speaker 1: was a bit dramatic with that. I don't think it's
Speaker 1: a crime, like I said on Breakfast Club, and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say from now on, no, it's not a crime, Brittany.
Speaker 1: It's not whether she's trans or not. She stands with
Speaker 1: trans women and that's totally fine, and nobody's like abolishing
Speaker 1: her for that. We're not trying to destroy you, brittany Where.
Speaker 1: Nobody's saying that trans women shouldn't be allowed to play sports.
Speaker 1: I totally disagree with them playing sports with biological women,
Speaker 1: though you know why because you still have strength of
Speaker 1: a man. I think, and what I said and what
Speaker 1: I know this person also heard me say on Breakfast Club,
Speaker 1: get youall own sports. The trans community should have their
Speaker 1: own sports, just like they should have their own bathrooms.
Speaker 1: They should have their own everything. Y'all got your own pronouns.
Speaker 1: Y'all got your own everything. Now y'all should have y'all
Speaker 1: y'all got your own encyclopedia or your own books or
Speaker 1: some shit LA. I think no, I think that's the gaze.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know, but what I do
Speaker 1: know is that it's completely unfair for trans women to
Speaker 1: play sports with regular women, with real women, with biological women.
Speaker 1: Ain't no goddamn way. No. I will never stand for that.
Speaker 1: And at the same time, I don't stand against trans
Speaker 1: but I don't stand for y'all playing sports with biological women,
Speaker 1: and I don't not the same way, and vice versa.
Speaker 1: I don't think that a transman should be playing sports
Speaker 1: with biological men. Baby, you can still get hurt. Somebody
Speaker 1: tackle your ass. You out of there. Seriously, you were
Speaker 1: born a woman, so your testosterone ain't the same as
Speaker 1: these biological men on this field out here. Okay, And
Speaker 1: that's just facts, that's just what the fuck that is.
Speaker 1: I ain't got to be no scientists. I ain't gotta
Speaker 1: be no no, no, no, no, no, no, no genetics specialists.
Speaker 1: I don't gotta be nobody working in no fucking lab
Speaker 1: to say that, because that's facts, that's factual. With that
Speaker 1: band said, we're gonna wrap this episode up, but before
Speaker 1: I do go, I want to say this. I want
Speaker 1: to say for Britney grind Or, I am glad that
Speaker 1: she is back home. I'm glad that she's back home.
Speaker 1: I'm glad that she's staying, that she is standing up
Speaker 1: for her beliefs and what she believes in. I'm happy
Speaker 1: that we got our own back, you know, a fellow American,
Speaker 1: African American, but a fellow American. She's not stuck in
Speaker 1: Russia anymore. I buy ass won't go back over there,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, or break any laws in
Speaker 1: any other countries. You know that was a learning lesson,
Speaker 1: but I really feel like she didn't get what she deserved,
Speaker 1: because nobody deserved to be treated the way she was
Speaker 1: treated in another country in prison. You know, I will
Speaker 1: never ever say that she got what she deserved. That's
Speaker 1: fucked up. But I think it was a learning lesson
Speaker 1: and I am happy that she is home. And I
Speaker 1: do want to also say, whether y'all think I do
Speaker 1: or not, I'm letting you know I love all people.
Speaker 1: I love all people, whether you're gay, your trance, you're street,
Speaker 1: you're white, you're black, your other, whatever the fuck you are.
Speaker 1: I love you because you are another person. You're another
Speaker 1: human being, and you were born into this world and
Speaker 1: you did not ask to be here. So that's why
Speaker 1: I love you. And just like that, we come to
Speaker 1: the end of another Just Fix My Mess segment on
Speaker 1: Carefully Reckless with your Girl just hilarious. Catch this podcast
Speaker 1: each and every Wednesday, and in my deepest Pam voice, peace.
Speaker 2: The class takes man a name.
Speaker 1: Can't. Fully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The
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