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Speaker 1: Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio

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Speaker 1: and the Black Effects, And just like that we back

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Speaker 1: on the air. Welcome back to yet another carefully reckless

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Speaker 1: episode with your girl Jess. Hilarious. Right, So, look, today's

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Speaker 1: going to be a little different. I know, I'm known

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Speaker 1: for fixing people's mess and I'm known for reading their stories,

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Speaker 1: or you know when I usually read when people submit

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Speaker 1: or if people send in voice memos, I let y'all

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Speaker 1: listen to them, and then I do my commentary, I

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Speaker 1: give my advice and all of that. This is different.

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Speaker 1: I want to tell y'all about somebody bringing me their

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Speaker 1: mess in person. I did a show a few weeks ago,

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Speaker 1: and I did a meet and greet, and I'm not

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Speaker 1: going to say the name of the city because I

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Speaker 1: don't want people to go find out, because honey, all

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Speaker 1: I need to do is say what city I was in.

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Speaker 1: They will go and find this guy. They will going,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like it's everything too, It's

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Speaker 1: too much these days, people do too damn much. So

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Speaker 1: I will keep this man as anonymous as I can.

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Speaker 1: I did a meet and greet and this guy came

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Speaker 1: up to me and he had asked me what would

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Speaker 1: be the most effective and most safest way to come

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Speaker 1: out to his friends and his family. And this guy,

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Speaker 1: he was a younger gentleman. He told me that he

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Speaker 1: was in his mid twenties. He was saying that he's

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Speaker 1: known that he was gay for a long time. He's

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Speaker 1: been knowing, he's been having these feelings and since he

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Speaker 1: was about fourteen. He said that he did actually date

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Speaker 1: a girl though, and he tried to date a girl

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Speaker 1: even after he realized he was gay, because he didn't

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Speaker 1: know if this was just a phase. He didn't know

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Speaker 1: if this was just him being curious. You know, he

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Speaker 1: didn't know if he was bisexual. He didn't know yet,

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Speaker 1: and a lot of people have a hard time with that.

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Speaker 1: You don't really know. It has to be a whole

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Speaker 1: series of emotions or a whole process before you actually

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Speaker 1: get to that point where you can look in the

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Speaker 1: mirror and say, Okay, I am a gay woman a

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Speaker 1: gay man. It has to be a whole bunch of

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Speaker 1: feelings that you go through or you know that you

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Speaker 1: haven't even probably processed correctly because you don't know, you

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Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. So he was telling me, there's

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Speaker 1: a stigma being put on gays. So I'm scared, you know,

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Speaker 1: and I'm scared for my profession as well. He was

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Speaker 1: telling me that he works in waste, so he's a

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Speaker 1: trash truck worker and he works with a lot of

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Speaker 1: his friends that he actually grew up with, who has

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Speaker 1: no idea that he's gay. He and his friends also

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Speaker 1: went through college together, and that whole time he had

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Speaker 1: to hide who he was. He was he was sleep

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Speaker 1: with women and you know, take one for the team

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Speaker 1: and you know, and really fight his gay feelings just

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Speaker 1: so he could fit in with his straight friends, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean. And that was his whole college life,

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Speaker 1: he said. But he said he's tired of it. He's tired.

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Speaker 1: He's tired of it. He graduated college at twenty two

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Speaker 1: and for the past three years he's been thriving in

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Speaker 1: his major and he is just tired of hiding who

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Speaker 1: he is, or having to hide who he is. He

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Speaker 1: has one friend who knows, and that friend is not gay.

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Speaker 1: That friend is by and he wants to come out,

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Speaker 1: but he just doesn't know how. He also is an

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Speaker 1: avid Jess Hilarious fan, and he actually told me that

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Speaker 1: he is aware that I helped Prince come out. Now,

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Speaker 1: for those who don't know Prince, Prince was on Reckless

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Speaker 1: Discussions season one. That is my brother and friend, and

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Speaker 1: that's the guy that I call twin. Prince is not

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Speaker 1: my real brother. He's not my real twin. He's not

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Speaker 1: my biological friend. I mean, he's not my biological twin

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Speaker 1: or brother. He is my real friend, though I call

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Speaker 1: on my twin because we have the same birthday. We

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Speaker 1: both share February thirteenth for our birthdays, and we just

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Speaker 1: happened to hit it off as friends. Chemistry was always

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Speaker 1: great from day one, and boom, here we are four

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Speaker 1: or five years later. So yes, I helped Prince come out.

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Speaker 1: And Prince was a barber. He was a really, really

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Speaker 1: good barber, and that was a reason why he didn't

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Speaker 1: want to come out as well. He was like, wow, man,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to lose my clients. I don't want

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Speaker 1: to lose my respect or my reputation as a barber

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Speaker 1: because I'm gay, you know what I mean. And it

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Speaker 1: was a lot of emotions that he had to go

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Speaker 1: through too. You know, Prince also suffered suffered past tense

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Speaker 1: from depression, you know, and it's very easy to slip

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Speaker 1: in depression when you're battling who you are, constantly having

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Speaker 1: to hide who you are every day just to fit

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Speaker 1: into society, you know what I mean. So what I

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Speaker 1: told him was keep your fucking head up. Fuck everybody,

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Speaker 1: because if you live constantly for somebody else, you'll never

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Speaker 1: ever be comfortable with yourself. You'll never ever step into

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Speaker 1: who you are if you live in for everybody else.

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Speaker 1: Then I asked him this, those people who you are

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Speaker 1: living for or living to fit in with, are they

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Speaker 1: living for you? Could you bet your last dollar on

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Speaker 1: these same motherfuckers living for you hiding who they are.

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Speaker 1: Imagine them hiding who they are to please you, just

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Speaker 1: to fit in with you. Would you even allow something

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Speaker 1: like that? And I bought tears to his eyes, not

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Speaker 1: that that was something that I was trying to do,

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Speaker 1: but I bought tears to his eyes because he actually

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Speaker 1: felt what I was saying. Fuck everybody and how they feel.

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Speaker 1: If they disagree with who you are, they only need

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Speaker 1: to respect you. They don't need to agree with your lifestyle.

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Speaker 1: They don't need to patch you on the back for

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Speaker 1: coming out. They don't need to kiss your dick and

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Speaker 1: balls for saying, yeah, I love men, they just need

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Speaker 1: to respect you as a human being. And I remember

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Speaker 1: I sat down at the Breakfast Lub a couple of

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Speaker 1: weeks ago with trans woman Laverne Cox, and she was

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Speaker 1: telling me, I don't know why people get so hung

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Speaker 1: up on people having to respect them. No, people don't

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Speaker 1: need to respect you. No, people don't need And I

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Speaker 1: been fell out of that. If everybody, if I felt

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Speaker 1: that way, if I felt the need for everybody to

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Speaker 1: respect me, I wouldn't. I don't want to quote her

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Speaker 1: a verbatim, because you know she was saying a lot

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Speaker 1: of shit, but I totally disagree with that. No, you

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Speaker 1: need to respect people as human beings. Yes, yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: we do, Yes we do. Because before you are trands,

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Speaker 1: before you are gay, before you are anything, you are

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Speaker 1: a fucking human being, before you are black, before you

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Speaker 1: are white, before you are anything, we are all the

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Speaker 1: same as human beings. That's what we all have in common.

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Speaker 1: We are human, We are people. So that's what we

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Speaker 1: need to respect each other as first. Any of that

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Speaker 1: other shit after that tweach their own, even the shit

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Speaker 1: you can't control. You can't control you being gay, You

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Speaker 1: can't control you being white. You can't control you being black.

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Speaker 1: You can't control that. But we don't have to conform

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Speaker 1: to any of that. We don't have to respect any

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Speaker 1: of that. We just have to respect firstly as humans.

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Speaker 1: That's what I'm always gonna stand on. I don't give

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Speaker 1: a fuck. Okay, that's just what that is. So in

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Speaker 1: that moment, I saw him as a human being, and

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Speaker 1: he saw me as a human being. And I told him,

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Speaker 1: not everybody is going to see you as a human

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Speaker 1: being because people can't get past your sexuality. A lot

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Speaker 1: of people can't get past you being gay. A lot

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Speaker 1: of people ain't gonna get past it. But that's not

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Speaker 1: your job to worry about the motherfucking people. It's your

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Speaker 1: job to worry about yourself. Do what's in the best

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Speaker 1: interest of you, for you and buy you. You can't

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Speaker 1: have other people dictate your life. Don't hide behind who

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Speaker 1: you are. Stand tall, walk in that shit. He was

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Speaker 1: mainly worried about his profession, is what I got from it.

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Speaker 1: He kept going back to him being a trash truck worker.

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Speaker 1: And he was just like, man, you know my friends

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Speaker 1: that I work with, they have no idea and my profession.

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Speaker 1: You don't see gay niggas every day, and it's just

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Speaker 1: like it's I'm scared, you know, and I do a

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Speaker 1: manly job, and a nigga. You can be a man

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Speaker 1: asked gay man. That don't matter. Just because you gay

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Speaker 1: on me, you ain't manly. We got some buffneck niggas

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Speaker 1: fucking other niggas out here, and they doing it and

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Speaker 1: doing it well. Oh, every gay is not flamboyant. Every

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Speaker 1: gay nigga ain't the same. Some niggas you can look

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Speaker 1: at and tell they gay. Some niggas you can't. Some

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Speaker 1: niggas you can't. Some niggas you might want to fuck

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Speaker 1: with just because you can't tell they gay, and they

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Speaker 1: so goddamn fine. Like listen, there's no specific look to gay.

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Speaker 1: It's either you all or you ain't. You know what

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Speaker 1: I mean. And as far as his fucking job, I said, listen,

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Speaker 1: you are a beautiful black man. Okay, you work and waste. Okay,

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Speaker 1: you work with trash, you work in one of the

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Speaker 1: most wealthiest fucking industries. Okay, you make money. You got

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Speaker 1: your head on straight. I wish y'all could have seen

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Speaker 1: what he had on his ass was swaggy and dapper

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Speaker 1: at the same time. He looks so goddamn good, and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, you worried about your fucking coworkers. Nigga, we

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Speaker 1: work with trash. Y'all better accept that I'm gay and

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Speaker 1: keep it the fuck moving. What the fuck are you

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Speaker 1: gonna say, Oh, I don't want that gay nigga working

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Speaker 1: around my garbage. Get the fuck out of here. You're

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Speaker 1: gonna accept me because right now we all stank nigga

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Speaker 1: because we working with trash. Ain't no way. I'm just

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Speaker 1: a gay nigga working with trash. So it is what

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Speaker 1: it is. And I had his ass laughing by the

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Speaker 1: end of that fucking meet and greet man, And it

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Speaker 1: was amazing to actually share that in person, you know,

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Speaker 1: and it actually motivated me for season four of Carefully Reckless.

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Speaker 1: I may just actually provide visual to this audio and

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Speaker 1: actually sit down with people and work with them through

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Speaker 1: their mess in person. I may I may do that,

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Speaker 1: like I may want to do. I just I could

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Speaker 1: not get past the fact that he was bold enough

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Speaker 1: to come up to me, and he just he was

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Speaker 1: vulnerable enough to talk to me about it. And then

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Speaker 1: he actually he waited to the end of the meet

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Speaker 1: and greet, the meet and greet line long as hell.

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Speaker 1: He waited at the end and he was one of

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Speaker 1: the first people on line, and I seen him kept

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Speaker 1: going to the end of the line. I'm like, why

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Speaker 1: is he doing that? You know? And he paid that

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Speaker 1: forty dollars for that picture and set his ass down

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Speaker 1: and talk to me, and we talked for like a

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Speaker 1: good fifteen minutes. He laughed, he cried, nigga. I almost

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Speaker 1: cried too. I was drunk too, you know, I drunk

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Speaker 1: people be I almost cried with him, you know. And

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Speaker 1: then we hugged and then that was it. I told

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Speaker 1: him check back in with me, and I actually gave

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Speaker 1: him some really good advice, and he said, I feel better.

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Speaker 1: I honestly really do. I'm not just saying this because

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Speaker 1: you're just hilarious. I feel better. I feel so much better.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, I want to go talk to my friends.

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Speaker 1: You know. They my coworker is just but they are

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Speaker 1: my friends. And that's when I calmed down a little bit,

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Speaker 1: because I was I was over there, like, whoa, what

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Speaker 1: the fuck? They act like they shit, don't stank, and

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Speaker 1: y'all working around shit every day. Get the fuck out

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Speaker 1: of here, you know, And he was like, nah, these

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Speaker 1: my boys, man like, these are my friends, my real friends,

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Speaker 1: and I just needed this extra carriage. I needed this

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Speaker 1: extra courage to tell them. You know, you gave me that,

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Speaker 1: and I just was happy. I was happy that I

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Speaker 1: was able to do that for him. So if you're

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Speaker 1: listening right now, baby, I love you, and I'm waiting

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Speaker 1: for you to check back and with me because I

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Speaker 1: don't know when I'm gonna see your finance again, So

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Speaker 1: you know, check back in with me. If you love me,

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Speaker 1: you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right

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Speaker 1: back moving on. This is actually someone that wrote to me. Okay, hey, Jess,

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Speaker 1: I've been a big fan of yours for a long time,

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Speaker 1: and I happen to be a trans woman and have

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Speaker 1: seen all the controversy surrounding your thoughts toward us. I

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Speaker 1: recently watched the episode where you were on Breakfast Club

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Speaker 1: and spoke about Britney Griner standing up for trans women

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Speaker 1: playing sports in the WNBA. You have no idea what

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Speaker 1: it's like being a trans woman. Our girlhood is different,

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Speaker 1: and the fact that y'all just can't accept that y'all

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Speaker 1: are not the only women in this world is so cruel.

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Speaker 1: I still love you so much, but I strongly encourage

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Speaker 1: you to educate yourself on the trans community and everything

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Speaker 1: about it before you speak about us again. I'm team

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Speaker 1: Brittany on this one. Okay. So, first of all, thank

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Speaker 1: you so much for writing me. I know you must

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Speaker 1: have worked up a bunch of courage to hit me

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Speaker 1: up and talk to me following what you just saw.

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Speaker 1: And I love you too. Thank you. I love you

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Speaker 1: first as a person. Like I just told the guy

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Speaker 1: in the previous story and told all my listeners, I

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Speaker 1: respect people as people and that is it. That is all.

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Speaker 1: I respect you as a human being. First of all,

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Speaker 1: I want to be very careful with you, not because

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Speaker 1: you are trands, but just because you already feel that

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Speaker 1: I don't like you. Guys. I know you didn't say that,

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Speaker 1: but I feel like that's what you are trying to say,

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Speaker 1: that I have some type of something against you. Guys.

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Speaker 1: I do not. I do not. I'm gonna be careful

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Speaker 1: for you only because you think that. But I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: tell you this. When you said I have no idea

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Speaker 1: what it's like being a trans woman, no I do not.

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Speaker 1: I will never know what it's like, and neither will

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Speaker 1: I ever want to know what it's like. You know why,

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Speaker 1: I don't have to know what it's like because I'm

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Speaker 1: a real woman. I'm a real woman, a biological woman.

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Speaker 1: I was born with these parts. I'm going to die

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Speaker 1: with these parts. I will not change my parts. I

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Speaker 1: have no desire to change who I am, and that

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Speaker 1: goes for gender, personality, sexuality. I have no desire. I

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Speaker 1: know who I am and I'm standing on that because

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Speaker 1: I have the parts to prove who I am, Okay,

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Speaker 1: to prove what I was born as. I will always

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Speaker 1: be a woman, a biological woman, a real woman. And

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Speaker 1: I never thought that I would see the day where

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Speaker 1: I have to preach the fact that I am a

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Speaker 1: real woman to somebody who is not and who will

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Speaker 1: never ever be a real woman. You have no idea

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Speaker 1: what it's like being a woman. Okay, you have no idea.

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Speaker 1: You will never know what that's like. You will never

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Speaker 1: know what that's like. Yes, y'all, girlhood is different because

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Speaker 1: y'all are trans girls. It's always gonna be different always.

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Speaker 1: That's what y'all have to accept. We don't have to

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Speaker 1: accept that, y'all have to accept that every trans woman,

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Speaker 1: every trans man, y'all have to accept the fact that

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Speaker 1: you are chasing something that you will never catch. And

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Speaker 1: I need for y'all to understand. I respect y'all and

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Speaker 1: I love y'all as people, but I'm never going to

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Speaker 1: ever ever minimize myself me as a real woman, So

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Speaker 1: y'all could feel better about y'allselves. Never will I do that.

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Speaker 1: And I still love you so much, even after having

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Speaker 1: to put you in your place. I love you, really do.

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Speaker 1: Hold up. Hold up, I noticed shit getting good. But

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Speaker 1: listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If

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Speaker 1: you love me, you'll listen now. For the Britney Grinder thing,

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Speaker 1: Brittany Grinder said that it's a crime that trans women

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Speaker 1: are discriminated against as far as sports goes, and she

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Speaker 1: said it's a crime that they can't play sports with women.

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Speaker 1: Trans women can't play sports in WNBA. I think she

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Speaker 1: was a bit dramatic with that. I don't think it's

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Speaker 1: a crime, like I said on Breakfast Club, and I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna say from now on, no, it's not a crime, Brittany.

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Speaker 1: It's not whether she's trans or not. She stands with

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Speaker 1: trans women and that's totally fine, and nobody's like abolishing

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Speaker 1: her for that. We're not trying to destroy you, brittany Where.

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Speaker 1: Nobody's saying that trans women shouldn't be allowed to play sports.

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Speaker 1: I totally disagree with them playing sports with biological women,

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Speaker 1: though you know why because you still have strength of

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Speaker 1: a man. I think, and what I said and what

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Speaker 1: I know this person also heard me say on Breakfast Club,

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Speaker 1: get youall own sports. The trans community should have their

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Speaker 1: own sports, just like they should have their own bathrooms.

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Speaker 1: They should have their own everything. Y'all got your own pronouns.

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Speaker 1: Y'all got your own everything. Now y'all should have y'all

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Speaker 1: y'all got your own encyclopedia or your own books or

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Speaker 1: some shit LA. I think no, I think that's the gaze.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know, but what I do

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Speaker 1: know is that it's completely unfair for trans women to

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Speaker 1: play sports with regular women, with real women, with biological women.

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Speaker 1: Ain't no goddamn way. No. I will never stand for that.

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Speaker 1: And at the same time, I don't stand against trans

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Speaker 1: but I don't stand for y'all playing sports with biological women,

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Speaker 1: and I don't not the same way, and vice versa.

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Speaker 1: I don't think that a transman should be playing sports

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Speaker 1: with biological men. Baby, you can still get hurt. Somebody

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Speaker 1: tackle your ass. You out of there. Seriously, you were

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Speaker 1: born a woman, so your testosterone ain't the same as

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Speaker 1: these biological men on this field out here. Okay, And

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Speaker 1: that's just facts, that's just what the fuck that is.

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Speaker 1: I ain't got to be no scientists. I ain't gotta

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Speaker 1: be no no, no, no, no, no, no, no genetics specialists.

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Speaker 1: I don't gotta be nobody working in no fucking lab

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Speaker 1: to say that, because that's facts, that's factual. With that

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Speaker 1: band said, we're gonna wrap this episode up, but before

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Speaker 1: I do go, I want to say this. I want

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Speaker 1: to say for Britney grind Or, I am glad that

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Speaker 1: she is back home. I'm glad that she's back home.

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Speaker 1: I'm glad that she's staying, that she is standing up

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Speaker 1: for her beliefs and what she believes in. I'm happy

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Speaker 1: that we got our own back, you know, a fellow American,

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Speaker 1: African American, but a fellow American. She's not stuck in

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Speaker 1: Russia anymore. I buy ass won't go back over there,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, or break any laws in

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Speaker 1: any other countries. You know that was a learning lesson,

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Speaker 1: but I really feel like she didn't get what she deserved,

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Speaker 1: because nobody deserved to be treated the way she was

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Speaker 1: treated in another country in prison. You know, I will

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Speaker 1: never ever say that she got what she deserved. That's

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Speaker 1: fucked up. But I think it was a learning lesson

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Speaker 1: and I am happy that she is home. And I

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Speaker 1: do want to also say, whether y'all think I do

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Speaker 1: or not, I'm letting you know I love all people.

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Speaker 1: I love all people, whether you're gay, your trance, you're street,

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Speaker 1: you're white, you're black, your other, whatever the fuck you are.

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Speaker 1: I love you because you are another person. You're another

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Speaker 1: human being, and you were born into this world and

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Speaker 1: you did not ask to be here. So that's why

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Speaker 1: I love you. And just like that, we come to

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Speaker 1: the end of another Just Fix My Mess segment on

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Speaker 1: Carefully Reckless with your Girl just hilarious. Catch this podcast

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Speaker 1: each and every Wednesday, and in my deepest Pam voice, peace.

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Speaker 2: The class takes man a name.

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Speaker 1: Can't. Fully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The

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Speaker 1: Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,

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Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows,