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Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen.

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Speaker 2: You are looking at a man, no matter how much

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Speaker 2: money I have or don't have in my pockets, if

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Speaker 2: I need help, I am going to ask, period.

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Speaker 3: That is a fact. And as his wife, I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: ask too. We both go double down and ask for help.

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Speaker 1: Dead ass.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 2: It all started with real talk, unfiltered, honest and straight

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Speaker 2: from the heart. Since then, we've gone on to become

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Speaker 2: Webby award winning podcasters in New York Times bestselling authors.

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Speaker 3: Dead Ass was more than a podcast for us. It

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Speaker 3: was about our growth, a place where we could be vulnerable.

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Speaker 1: Be wraw or but most apportly be us.

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Speaker 3: But as we know, life keeps evolving and so do we,

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Speaker 3: and through it all, one thing has never changed.

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Speaker 1: This is a severafters.

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Speaker 3: Because we got a lot to talk about.

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Speaker 2: All right, story time, So I'm gonna take y'all back

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Speaker 2: to twenty fourteen. I don't know if I told this

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Speaker 2: story specifically what I'm gonna tell it now. I'm training

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Speaker 2: at the gym. This is twenty fourteen. It's January. I'm

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Speaker 2: about to turn thirty. I say to K I'm like, yo,

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Speaker 2: I really want to focus on TV film like I've

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Speaker 2: been doing everything with the gym.

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Speaker 1: We built it up and making good money.

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Speaker 2: But I can't do what I really want to do

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Speaker 2: if I don't find a way to duplicate myself and

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Speaker 2: have more space and time to chase my dream. She

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Speaker 2: was like, what you want to do. I was like,

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Speaker 2: you know, I want to try to open up my

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Speaker 2: own gym. Because at the time we were paying crazy

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Speaker 2: rent to Aviator. They were also charging us per person

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Speaker 2: for each person that signed up for membership, and they

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Speaker 2: kept taking our field time away and they put us

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Speaker 2: in this back little corridor.

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Speaker 1: They'd removed us from the gym and put.

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Speaker 2: Us in this back little room that we made into

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Speaker 2: a gym. At this time, we had about three hundred clients.

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Speaker 2: So I went to Chase Bank because I was a

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Speaker 2: member of Chase Bank, and I was like, Yo, how

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Speaker 2: do I go about getting along right? And I'll never

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Speaker 2: forget And this is the Chase Bank on Rockaway, oh yeah,

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Speaker 2: and flat Land and the Rockaway Avenue L and I

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Speaker 2: went and how do I go about getting the bank?

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Speaker 2: And you know, they was like it was paperwork and

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Speaker 2: stuff like that. But she kind of smirked at me,

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Speaker 2: and she was just like like she was like you're not, like,

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Speaker 2: you're not gonna get it, and I was just like,

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Speaker 2: I have capital, you know, my business has solvency, and

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Speaker 2: she was just like so I was like, you know what,

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Speaker 2: freak this. I'm not even gonna go about this where

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Speaker 2: i'mna find my own way. Just so happens I meet

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Speaker 2: a man by the name of Marcel Vernon. Marcel Vernon

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Speaker 2: was senior VP at Cushman and Wake. He had just

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Speaker 2: left that job to do some other work somewhere else.

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Speaker 2: I think he was working in Boston, but his children

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Speaker 2: were training under Elite Prototype Athletics and he was like, yo,

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Speaker 2: I see what you're doing here.

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Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: Have you ever thought about scaling the business? And at

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Speaker 2: that moment, I said, this is a time for me

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Speaker 2: to ask for help. And the reason why I set

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Speaker 2: help is because he had capital. I didn't have capital.

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Speaker 2: Whenever you go to someone with a business idea, ultimately

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Speaker 2: you're asking would help with capital to help scale your business,

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Speaker 2: but you also have to give up part of your business,

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Speaker 2: which I was prepared for. And the reason why I'm

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Speaker 2: telling this story is because the help I got from

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Speaker 2: Marcel Vernon turned into me having autonomy over my time

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Speaker 2: because I got ownership in something that I never had

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Speaker 2: ownership before. Yes, I had to give up a small

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Speaker 2: percentage of my company, but the help was so valuable

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Speaker 2: because it came at a time where I had no

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Speaker 2: other options and I had to put my ego aside.

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Speaker 2: He also was able to show me how to grow

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Speaker 2: my business, not just give me the capital. And if

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Speaker 2: I had put my ego ahead of what I really needed,

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Speaker 2: I would still be sitting there trying to figure it out.

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Speaker 2: And on this episode, I want to talk to people

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Speaker 2: about how to ask for help and what to expect

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Speaker 2: when someone helps you, what to give back, because it's

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Speaker 2: not just the money that.

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Speaker 3: You got right now, break it down, baby.

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Speaker 2: So I noticed karaoke don't go with anything, but it

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Speaker 2: would make sense afterwards past.

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Speaker 3: Did I go da music? Let me jump fund? Where

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Speaker 3: did that come from?

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Speaker 4: It was random?

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Speaker 1: It was it was.

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Speaker 3: It was random that I was like, I got the

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Speaker 3: karaoke song for today.

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Speaker 2: I was like, okay, And I thought about this since

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Speaker 2: last night. And part of the reason why I went

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Speaker 2: with this song is because when you pass the Dutch,

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Speaker 2: people don't understand if you're not a part of smoke culture. Right,

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Speaker 2: you're helping someone, right, someone is sitting there waiting. They

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Speaker 2: don't have nothing.

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Speaker 3: Waiting to get lifted. Yes, that's what we're waiting.

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Speaker 2: When you passed the Dutch, there was often like a circuit.

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Speaker 2: You passed them, you have time to enjoy your process.

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Speaker 2: But the Dutch often does what.

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Speaker 1: Come back comes back.

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Speaker 3: It's like a susu Yes, right, understand, Pardner, when your partner.

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Speaker 2: Draw community economics of the marriage, juanna right, all right,

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Speaker 2: But that's why I chose the song, because it's just

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Speaker 2: let it keep circulating, just like the finances. I'm big

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Speaker 2: on group economics, past the Dutch, past the Green. Let's

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Speaker 2: keep circulating it so we all can win.

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Speaker 3: We only we can do that within our community. That's

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Speaker 3: when I'm talking about our black dollar in the black circle.

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Speaker 3: You know what my my carro was gonna be. It's

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Speaker 3: a little more wholesome. Lean on me strong, I help you, kyon.

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Speaker 1: I ain't gonna lie. You had those pants on, so

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Speaker 1: those pants reminded me.

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Speaker 5: Of the.

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Speaker 3: Well you know exactly what's that? I mean? Shoot, because

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Speaker 3: at some point we're all gonna need somebody to lean on,

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Speaker 3: right mm hmm, And we might have to lean on

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Speaker 3: y'all to go pay these bills. So let's take a

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Speaker 3: break and then we'll come back. We'll chat a little

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Speaker 3: bit more about story time and get into our new

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Speaker 3: favorite segment of the show. Op or no ops. Stick around, y'all,

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Speaker 3: we are back. So I feel like before, sorry, real quick,

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Speaker 3: just the story time made me think about how layered

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Speaker 3: this episode could potentially be because you talked about scaling

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Speaker 3: a business, you know, asking for help yes, some of

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Speaker 3: which would have to be monetary, yes. And I think

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Speaker 3: as a culture in general, we don't necessarily understand what

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Speaker 3: it means to start a company, grow it, scale it,

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Speaker 3: sell it, like that's something that is the aspiration when

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Speaker 3: you start a company and you have, for example, a

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Speaker 3: product line or just any business in general. So I

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Speaker 3: think this will be a great episode where we can

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Speaker 3: dig into some of that, where you can talk about,

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Speaker 3: you know, how Marcel was able to help you scale

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Speaker 3: your business essentially to make more money.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, I feel like this is important for our

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Speaker 2: community because we do have a lot of trauma, you know,

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Speaker 2: from you like to call it the scarcity mindset, right,

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Speaker 2: and we say it all the time that well we

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Speaker 2: don't say it all the time. But you hear it

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Speaker 2: online that for black people there only can be one

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Speaker 2: at the top, which is really not true. Why there

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Speaker 2: can be a whole bunch of us at the top,

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Speaker 2: like there's plenty, there's room for all of us. The

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Speaker 2: one thing I will say, though, to just drive home

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Speaker 2: this thing is when you do ask for help, you

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Speaker 2: have to understand that you don't just get to ask

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Speaker 2: for help and not have a plan. Right like anybody

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Speaker 2: I asked help for, I had a plan. I said

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Speaker 2: this on a previous episode. I was eight thousand dollars

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Speaker 2: short for our wedding to finish, and I went to

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Speaker 2: our friends Tiffinny and Steve and I said, hey, I

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Speaker 2: need to borrow eight thousand dollars. This is my plan.

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Speaker 2: You know, I make X amount of dollars per month.

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Speaker 2: I'll be able to give your money back within this

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Speaker 2: many days. And once I set the plan with them,

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Speaker 2: then I was like, okay, well here's the money. Not

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Speaker 2: only do you have to have a plan, give people

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Speaker 2: their money back, and then give them something for helping

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Speaker 2: you in that time of need. So for example, theyrow

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Speaker 2: I borrowed eight thousand dollars. My thing is, if I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna give your money back. I'm gonna give you that

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Speaker 2: plus ten percent because that's the least I can do.

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Speaker 2: If you were going to have that money, you would

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Speaker 2: have that money in investment or a stock and you

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Speaker 2: could have made money on that money.

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Speaker 1: But you decided to lend me that money. So you

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Speaker 1: know what I'm gonna do.

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Speaker 2: Here's eight thousand plus eight hundred dollars. I appreciate you

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Speaker 2: because you let me rock for three months.

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Speaker 3: Right, just a little sign of good faith. But to

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Speaker 3: pay people back then money facts Like, we don't want

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Speaker 3: to just talk about the plan and not actually pay

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Speaker 3: people back them money facts, because that's where things get

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Speaker 3: very hearing. Relationships tend to get dismantled after that. But yeah,

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Speaker 3: let's trickle all into op or no opp triuble. What

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Speaker 3: you got for us today?

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Speaker 5: Well, I got one thing today, Shador Sanders.

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Speaker 4: It's been in the news lately.

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Speaker 5: I think he had a little run in with the

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Speaker 5: press his first week at the Browns.

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Speaker 1: Sounds normal, that sounds about normal.

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Speaker 5: But that's not the reason why I wanted to bring

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Speaker 5: him up. He negotiated his deal with the Browns, and

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Speaker 5: he put in a clause called the prime equity clause

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Speaker 5: have you heard about it?

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Speaker 1: Yes, So this clause.

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Speaker 5: Gives him a share of revenue that the Browns generate

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Speaker 5: from his name, image, and likeness. Any content that he

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Speaker 5: makes he gets revenue from. He basically is like a

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Speaker 5: partner with the Browns. And I wanted to know if

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Speaker 5: y'all have an op or no op a about this.

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Speaker 3: You did the right thing, brother, You did the right thing,

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Speaker 3: because what's going to happen is that I don't know

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Speaker 3: much about all the semantics when it comes to football

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Speaker 3: and whatnot, but your likeness, okay, as a Sanders, Yes,

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Speaker 3: capitalize on that shit.

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Speaker 2: It's no differlutely no different than what Brownie did and

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Speaker 2: what Bryce James will have any child of a celebrity

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Speaker 2: who's going into the same sport, right, Bronnie James, even

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Speaker 2: though he was think taking in the second round, his

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Speaker 2: jersey sales for Rookie was number one, number one, which

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Speaker 2: means the company is making millions and millions of dollars.

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Speaker 1: And it didn't just start. Now.

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Speaker 2: I remember when I was playing in college, right, there

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Speaker 2: was a player by the name of Reggie Bush. If

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Speaker 2: you don't know who Reggie Bush is, go look up

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Speaker 2: Reggie Bush. Reggie Bush was the most famous football player

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Speaker 2: on the planet his last two years of college, won

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Speaker 2: the Heisman Trophy. Right well, also wanted a national title

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Speaker 2: until they lost to Texas, they would have won three

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Speaker 2: in a row.

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Speaker 1: But he goes to the NFL.

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Speaker 2: They do this whole expos about how his parents took

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Speaker 2: some money from an agent and they strip them of

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Speaker 2: his Heisman Trophy and they strip them of everything. Right Meanwhile,

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Speaker 2: USC gets to keep all of the money and everything

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Speaker 2: they generated off his likeness as an amateur. So when

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Speaker 2: I look at this new deal with NIL, It's like, Hey,

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Speaker 2: as an amateur, I'm still bringing value to the company

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Speaker 2: regardless of where I'm drafted. Because it doesn't matter where

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Speaker 2: Shador and Shiloh get drafted.

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Speaker 1: They are coming with a brand.

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Speaker 2: They're also coming with eyeballs because content is king, and

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Speaker 2: since they do contact, they're bringing a whole bunch of

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Speaker 2: people since they stream to watch the Browns.

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Speaker 1: So why not get a percentage of equity of what

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Speaker 1: I deserve?

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, since I'm bringing so much to the company. And

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Speaker 2: you know why the NFL said yes, because it is

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Speaker 2: a fact.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Like, what was their argument going to be to

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Speaker 3: counter that?

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Speaker 1: None know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: So, and I'm glad that this is on the like

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Speaker 2: we're talking about this because this is what we as

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Speaker 2: a people need to understand.

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Speaker 1: We can get equity in things when we know our value.

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Speaker 2: Because when you know your value, like we learn from Tyler,

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Speaker 2: you don't always accept the big cash upfront.

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Speaker 1: Give me equity so I can.

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Speaker 2: Continuously make money when I'm no longer playing, no longer shooting,

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Speaker 2: no longer you know, filming things.

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Speaker 1: So I'm excited about it. I think this is dope.

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Speaker 2: But I think a lot more athletes are going to

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Speaker 2: have to look into this when they go into play

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Speaker 2: professional sports or even on the film. You know, I

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Speaker 2: go into films now and it's like, what equity can

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Speaker 2: I get? Because I'm coming with my audience. We have

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Speaker 2: an Emmy Award winning podcast, we wrote books. Yeah, those

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Speaker 2: people are going to come support the film.

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Speaker 3: Okay, you said Emmy Award, Emmy award, you better speak.

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Speaker 2: There's also a thing I know if you say, I

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Speaker 2: am followed by whatever it is. Yeah, the power of manifestation.

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Speaker 2: I believe that wholeheartedly. So if we're coming that, we're

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Speaker 2: bringing that to projects.

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Speaker 3: Give me what I owe and what you'll mean give

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Speaker 3: me my money.

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Speaker 6: I'm glad you brought that up for because I saw

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Speaker 6: it online, but I wasn't too sure that it was

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Speaker 6: a real thing.

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Speaker 7: The equity clause.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and he named it after his father. Let's give it.

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Speaker 1: Ain't nothing. There's nothing much better than that, you know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I hope my boys do that.

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Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying. You know you just got.

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Speaker 2: Clause you want to put you get the lawyer.

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Speaker 1: Get the lawyer on the phone.

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Speaker 3: This is also coming off of Jackson saying, like, guys,

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Speaker 3: I think I really like football. Now, I'm like, man,

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Speaker 3: these kids going to just drag us through every sport

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Speaker 3: until they decide which one that is going to surface

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Speaker 3: us the first one. So we got time. But that's dope.

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Speaker 3: I'm actually really happy to hear about that.

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Speaker 5: I think speaking of the Sanders and asking for help,

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Speaker 5: like we're talking about on this episode, I think Dion

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Speaker 5: Sanders recently had to have surgery to remove his bladder.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I did see that bladder.

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Speaker 5: Cancer issues, and uh, the person that decided to help

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Speaker 5: him through surgery was Caruccie.

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Speaker 1: What she really on the side, Yeah, she was.

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Speaker 7: That's what I was. I don't know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it was like a hard fact.

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Speaker 7: That's your business.

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Speaker 1: Promise the fact.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely. Yeah. I have no idea what the context of

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Speaker 3: the relationship is. But you know, hey, like Matt said,

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Speaker 3: he had there.

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Speaker 8: You know, I feel you what you think, Josh, I'll

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Speaker 8: be swiping away man, I already do.

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Speaker 7: I don't think I.

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Speaker 1: Care one thing. I will say.

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Speaker 2: I'm happy he talked about, you know, the project can

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Speaker 2: go through the process because one thing he said, and

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Speaker 2: this is what's more important.

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Speaker 1: Everyone was talking about.

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Speaker 2: Who was by his side, but not listening to the

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Speaker 2: fact that he was saying, go get checked. Yeah, you

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Speaker 2: know the reason why I'm here today is because they

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Speaker 2: found it early and I had good people by my

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Speaker 2: side to help me through the process.

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Speaker 1: That should be the lead story, you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: So I'm happy to promise stepping out here and letting

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Speaker 2: black men know, like yo, a fight and if you

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Speaker 2: don't go to the doctor, you could be at risk

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Speaker 2: in your family.

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Speaker 1: You won't be it for your family. So shout out

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Speaker 1: to Prime for that man for sure.

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Speaker 3: I love you man, all right? Cool? So asking for help,

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Speaker 3: any of y'all had to ask for help and got

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Speaker 3: turned down I'm horrible.

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Speaker 5: I'm actually really bad at asking for help. I'm glad

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Speaker 5: we're talking about this today.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So what's the apprehension. Is it a pride thing?

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Speaker 3: Is it that you don't want to bother people? Is

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Speaker 3: it that you know you won't have a way to

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Speaker 3: compensate them back or to pay back if it's something financial,

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Speaker 3: for example, you won't have the means to do it.

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Speaker 5: Well, I think, just in general, asking for money is

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Speaker 5: probably the last thing that I would ever do, unless

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Speaker 5: I'm asking my parents, But anything else, I'll just be

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Speaker 5: nervous that I'm gonna sound dumb, or the perfectionism issue

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Speaker 5: where I feel like I need to have all of

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Speaker 5: my ducks in a row before I ask anybody to

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Speaker 5: help me, or I'm like, oh, have I done everything

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Speaker 5: that I should do before? Have I exhausted my own

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Speaker 5: resources before I go ask somebody for theirs?

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Speaker 7: Well?

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Speaker 2: I think that that's part of it, though, right, I think, yeah,

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Speaker 2: all it was all valid. Yeah, that's say, that's all

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Speaker 2: like valid, Like if you haven't exhausted all your resources,

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Speaker 2: and how do you know if you really need help?

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Speaker 2: You have to exhaust them first, and then once you've

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Speaker 2: exhausted all of those things, and now you realize, like, wait,

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Speaker 2: I got all my ducks in a row. Still not there,

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Speaker 2: I've exhausted my resources, still not there all right? At

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Speaker 2: this point, I need to find out who can get

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Speaker 2: me over that hump.

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Speaker 3: But I think that's the that's the that's the whole

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Speaker 3: point of it, because when you do approach someone who

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Speaker 3: could potentially help you and then that you don't have

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Speaker 3: a plan or you haven't exhausted those options, then you

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Speaker 3: look like somebody that doesn't have it together. And I'd

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Speaker 3: be less likely to lend you money or to help

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Speaker 3: you through a situation if I don't fully believe that

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Speaker 3: A you're capable of seeing it through, B that you

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Speaker 3: even need the help you know legitimately, and see, like,

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Speaker 3: maybe you're gonna ghost me and I won't get my

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Speaker 3: joint back.

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Speaker 7: I like, I won't say saying or do you don't

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Speaker 7: even know what you want?

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Speaker 1: I was gonna say the same thing about being deliberate

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Speaker 1: about what you want.

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Speaker 7: But here's the thing, people, some people don't have it

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Speaker 7: all together. Right.

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Speaker 8: The help that we offer people doesn't necessarily need to

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Speaker 8: be monetarily all a full fledged sort of plan. It

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Speaker 8: is helping people get to that direction where they need

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Speaker 8: to be absolutely coming to you for you know, like, yo,

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Speaker 8: this is what I this is what I want to do,

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Speaker 8: or this is what I think i want to do.

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Speaker 8: I really don't know what I'm going to do. I

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Speaker 8: don't think you need to wait until you get all

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Speaker 8: your decks and roll always either. Sometimes the ducks are

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Speaker 8: going to get in a roll when you ask for

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Speaker 8: the help. That's all you need instruction to get to

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Speaker 8: that point.

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Speaker 3: So maybe trying to get motivation, Yeah, I think so.

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Speaker 8: When Trimple says she has to do all these things,

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Speaker 8: I think you mentioned like three things. I don't think

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Speaker 8: you need to wait all the time. It's good to

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Speaker 8: be conscious about those things, right, It's good to know, like, yo,

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Speaker 8: maybe I should be doing this, and that's a responsible person.

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Speaker 8: That's the way you want to lend money. Yes, it's responsible.

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Speaker 8: But sometimes people just don't know that they got to

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Speaker 8: do this, you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 3: That's fair. Remember someone had come to you and asked

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Speaker 3: for you to invest. I think it was like a

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Speaker 3: gym business or a startup with their gym business, and

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Speaker 3: you said, did you know that you have to have

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Speaker 3: this much amount of rent in capital so that when

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Speaker 3: you can pay your rent for the first six months.

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Speaker 3: Is that like you literally listed all of the things

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Speaker 3: that you needed in order to.

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Speaker 7: Start guys that that person needs.

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Speaker 3: And then they went back and was like, oh, shoot,

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Speaker 3: I don't have those things in place and that can

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Speaker 3: do the work.

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Speaker 1: They no longer ask me for the money.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because to your point, they didn't have all the

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Speaker 2: adducts in the row. And it was like, yo, coach Deval,

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Speaker 2: I want to do what you did. You know, I

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Speaker 2: want to borrow twenty five k to open up my gym.

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Speaker 2: And I was just like okay, because I told.

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Speaker 1: Them the story about how I borrowed money.

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Speaker 2: But I also told them, I said, you do realize

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Speaker 2: that you have to have first, last, and security deposit

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Speaker 2: for rent. You also have to have a duplicate of

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Speaker 2: that rent because you're doing an industrial space. So say

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Speaker 2: the rent is five thousand dollars, you have to have

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Speaker 2: twenty thousand dollars in your bank account just to be

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Speaker 2: qualified to get in the building to see it. And

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Speaker 2: they were like, oh, I didn't even know that, So like,

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Speaker 2: all right, let me get my money together first before

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Speaker 2: I come back to you.

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Speaker 1: But that goes back to what Matt was saying.

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Speaker 2: I think people when they're asking for her help need

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Speaker 2: to be deliberate about what they're asking for because that

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Speaker 2: also shows me that you have a plan. Right if

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Speaker 2: you come to me and you say, Hey, Deval, I'm

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Speaker 2: looking for help. It may not be financially, it may

415
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Speaker 2: be can you put me in contact with, for example,

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Speaker 2: a writer because I'm looking for something, Well, let me

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Speaker 2: see what you're working on.

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Speaker 1: Because I do have writers.

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Speaker 2: But I'm not going to put you in contact with

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Speaker 2: somebody when I look at what you have and you're

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Speaker 2: not even prepared to sit down with that person and

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Speaker 2: take time. So the biggest thing for me with people

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Speaker 2: asking help is once you get past the fear, make

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Speaker 2: sure you have a plan and you're deliberate about what

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Speaker 2: you're asking for because a lot of times the people

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Speaker 2: who are trying to help you would love to help

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Speaker 2: you if they knew how you know. And I think

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Speaker 2: that's why people feel like I don't want to sound dumb,

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Speaker 2: you know, because if you're not deliberate about what you're

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Speaker 2: asking for, and the person's looking at you with the

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Speaker 2: slow blink like.

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Speaker 1: What now, You're like, you know what?

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Speaker 2: I'm not asking nobody, but it's like, no, ask me,

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Speaker 2: but you're not being clear.

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Speaker 7: But also don't don't feel afraid to feel like to

436
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Speaker 7: feel like you're being dumb.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel you.

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Speaker 8: These hesitation as will hold you back absolutely shack people

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Speaker 8: come to for me, Like nobody's asking me for money.

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Speaker 7: That's a lie.

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Speaker 1: I know that's a lot. I know that's a lie.

442
00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:56,040
Speaker 8: But the make a lot of my a lot of

443
00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:58,040
Speaker 8: people coming to me for help, and that probably talking

444
00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:01,240
Speaker 8: from the creative process to feel like, yo, I want

445
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,320
Speaker 8: to start a podcast, or yo, I want to sell

446
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,280
Speaker 8: my photography business, or what I want to do this,

447
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:09,080
Speaker 8: And generally they're talking about like sometimes they coming to

448
00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:11,320
Speaker 8: me and they do sound dumb, but it's okay, Like

449
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:12,960
Speaker 8: y'all want to start a podcast, Do I need like

450
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,120
Speaker 8: a live audience or.

451
00:19:16,119 --> 00:19:18,720
Speaker 7: Right everybody's recording there.

452
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:22,119
Speaker 8: Like that Sometimes people need it, or like, yo, I

453
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,960
Speaker 8: want to start my photography business. You think I just

454
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:27,640
Speaker 8: charge five hundred dollars for a wedding, bro, don't even

455
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,000
Speaker 8: think about that, Like you're charge and go work with

456
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:32,040
Speaker 8: somebody for a few years. And that's some of the

457
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:34,720
Speaker 8: guidance that some people need. Sometimes they don't really understand,

458
00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:38,840
Speaker 8: like what's the path to go, And sometimes that that

459
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:42,560
Speaker 8: little that help and asking is sounding stupid, like you

460
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:45,040
Speaker 8: don't need that focus on this, that's the direction.

461
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,280
Speaker 3: So it's overall just like guidance.

462
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:50,520
Speaker 7: Yeah, I mean, help doesn't necessarily need to be the money.

463
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:52,840
Speaker 3: The money, Yeah, that's my thing.

464
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:55,840
Speaker 5: That's the last thing I'm thinking about, like is asking

465
00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:58,440
Speaker 5: somebody for money, But even just asking for help because

466
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:00,920
Speaker 5: I don't know something, I a lot of times learn

467
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:03,639
Speaker 5: the hard way because I don't ask for help.

468
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:04,320
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.

469
00:20:04,359 --> 00:20:08,040
Speaker 5: I learned by failing, and it takes me a lot longer,

470
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:12,560
Speaker 5: it's a lot more costly, and you know, I could

471
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:15,960
Speaker 5: have already gotten some help and probably did things more efficiently, quicker,

472
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,160
Speaker 5: and been more successful if I ask for help.

473
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:20,879
Speaker 2: See that's what I deal with now, even with my

474
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,120
Speaker 2: prototype kids who asked me about going to the next

475
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:26,119
Speaker 2: stage in life. What I've learned from a lot of

476
00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:28,720
Speaker 2: people is that sometimes when they ask for help, they're

477
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,520
Speaker 2: not happy with the help they get. Oh yeah, you know,

478
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:34,399
Speaker 2: And if you're gonna ask for help, you need to

479
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:37,720
Speaker 2: understand that if someone's going to help you, they're also

480
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,359
Speaker 2: going to be terms in which they're going to help you.

481
00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:41,040
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.

482
00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:44,000
Speaker 2: So, for example, if it's money, y'all, don't mind giving

483
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:46,080
Speaker 2: you this money back, but I need my money in

484
00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:47,080
Speaker 2: a certain amount of time.

485
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:48,920
Speaker 1: Then you get to, oh, you're gonna put a limit

486
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:49,119
Speaker 1: on it.

487
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:50,120
Speaker 7: Wha what? Wait? Wait?

488
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:53,399
Speaker 2: So I'm not allowed to create no boundaries or no

489
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:55,240
Speaker 2: guidelines for how I help you. And I see a

490
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:57,560
Speaker 2: lot of people nah nah nah, you're doing it, or

491
00:20:57,800 --> 00:20:59,800
Speaker 2: you lend a person of money, Now you have to

492
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:03,679
Speaker 2: ask ask them, Hey, why are you hounding me? Yeah,

493
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:07,600
Speaker 2: I'm not hounding you, bro' I'm asking you the same

494
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:08,560
Speaker 2: way you asked me for help.

495
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:09,119
Speaker 1: I'm asking you.

496
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:11,920
Speaker 6: I was in grant Cam and I went for a

497
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:15,560
Speaker 6: little photo walk on the beach. Excuse me, and a guy,

498
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:17,760
Speaker 6: a gentleman out there was arguing with his friend about something.

499
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:20,040
Speaker 6: Then they passing by me and YO, can we ask

500
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:22,480
Speaker 6: you a question like? Yeah, what's up? I lend long

501
00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:25,080
Speaker 6: story shot, I lend my boss some money. I need

502
00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:26,760
Speaker 6: to get paid and I need to go to ATM.

503
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:29,159
Speaker 6: He wouldn't let me go. My boss lent me some money,

504
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:31,479
Speaker 6: he said, and I said, I'll get it back to you.

505
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:34,000
Speaker 6: On Monday, so everything cool, perfect.

506
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:34,800
Speaker 7: Monday.

507
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:36,440
Speaker 6: Come he don't got the money for him because something

508
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,879
Speaker 6: popped up emergency, so he had to use the money

509
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:40,840
Speaker 6: he was going to give back that he lent him

510
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:43,399
Speaker 6: to cover the emergency. So he went to his boss like, yo,

511
00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:45,679
Speaker 6: I'll get you back the money in like two three days.

512
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,919
Speaker 6: His boss is like, that wasn't the deal. So now

513
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,680
Speaker 6: he tied. He like, yo, charge you interest on top

514
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:54,200
Speaker 6: of that. So the dude, he's mad as hell. He's like, yo,

515
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:56,200
Speaker 6: I don't think. I don't think he shouldn't be hounded.

516
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:59,440
Speaker 7: Men. Now, man, I'm like, bro, you you realize you agreed.

517
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,600
Speaker 6: To borrow the money give it back to him on Monday.

518
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:03,560
Speaker 3: So now you didn't keep it, You're end of the bargain.

519
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:05,879
Speaker 3: And now you're mad that he is asking you and

520
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:07,840
Speaker 3: trying to hold you accountable to it. That's up.

521
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:09,760
Speaker 2: That to me, is why it seems like people don't

522
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:12,560
Speaker 2: like asking for help because once they they ask for help,

523
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:13,120
Speaker 2: they don't want.

524
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:16,000
Speaker 1: To be accounting the hook. They want it on their terms.

525
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:18,200
Speaker 2: And the truth is a lot of people who only

526
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,200
Speaker 2: want things on their terms. That's the reason why they

527
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:23,240
Speaker 2: need help. You gotta be uncomfortable to succeed in life.

528
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:25,600
Speaker 2: If you want everything to be on your terms, even

529
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:27,359
Speaker 2: how you ask for help, you're never gonna get to

530
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:30,720
Speaker 2: where you're going. Like the key to life is being uncomfortable,

531
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,159
Speaker 2: stepping out of bounds. Me and Matt talk about this,

532
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,960
Speaker 2: and me and Josh talking about this last night. If

533
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:38,400
Speaker 2: you want to do anything great in life, not status quo,

534
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:40,960
Speaker 2: you're going to have to step outside of what everyone

535
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,680
Speaker 2: else is doing to do it on your own right.

536
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:46,240
Speaker 2: More than likely there's going to be no road in

537
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,159
Speaker 2: front of you or no road map of how to

538
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:51,040
Speaker 2: do that. So you're going to be lost a lot.

539
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,920
Speaker 2: And it's okay to be lost a lot. But when

540
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 2: you lost and you see someone who may be able

541
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,359
Speaker 2: to shine a light on a little bit of road,

542
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:02,800
Speaker 2: you can't then be too egotistical to say I can't ask.

543
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:04,239
Speaker 6: I think you said it right there. I think all

544
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:06,760
Speaker 6: of it balls into a little bit of pride. You've

545
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:09,280
Speaker 6: got to put your pride to the side to just accident, right.

546
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:11,960
Speaker 3: And then also some people skip over the sacrifice portion

547
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 3: of it, like sometimes you're going to have to sacrifice

548
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:18,560
Speaker 3: one thing for the other. For example, someone had approached

549
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:23,000
Speaker 3: the val about borrowing money to propose to his girlfriend. Yeah,

550
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:27,679
Speaker 3: and it's like so it's like, okay, you have the

551
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:29,440
Speaker 3: idea and you want to propose, so clearly this is

552
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:31,159
Speaker 3: a plan that you want to put in action. So

553
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:34,239
Speaker 3: instead of asking me to borrow ten thousand dollars, how

554
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:38,040
Speaker 3: about you save five hundred each month until you're able

555
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:38,520
Speaker 3: to Then.

556
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:42,280
Speaker 7: Yo, nobody gets money for you.

557
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:46,280
Speaker 8: Don't borrow money for your wedding like brands I had

558
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:48,719
Speaker 8: to No. No, but you didn't borrow your friends money.

559
00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:52,880
Speaker 7: He did your friends money. Yeah, it was your parents.

560
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:58,560
Speaker 1: No, I bought Steve and Tiffany's the time.

561
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:03,280
Speaker 7: Clearly, I remember you said that. But that's us. You

562
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:03,840
Speaker 7: had a plan.

563
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:04,840
Speaker 1: You had a plan.

564
00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:06,000
Speaker 7: That makes sense.

565
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:08,879
Speaker 1: But bro, I had two separate people asked me the

566
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:09,360
Speaker 1: same thing.

567
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:12,160
Speaker 2: Yes, I let one bar the money and I didn't

568
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:15,800
Speaker 2: let the other one because one had a plan. One

569
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:20,919
Speaker 2: also had a record of paying me back consistently on

570
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 2: things that I didn't.

571
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:23,439
Speaker 1: Ask for, so it was easy for me.

572
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:25,919
Speaker 2: It was just a thing of capital he didn't have

573
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,280
Speaker 2: at the time, not that he didn't have money.

574
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:29,679
Speaker 1: He had a plan at everything.

575
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:31,239
Speaker 2: He's like, Yo, I don't got so and so, and

576
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:34,639
Speaker 2: I'm like, hell, yeah, take it. And even that person

577
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,320
Speaker 2: was trying to give me interest back on it, and

578
00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:39,680
Speaker 2: I was like, nah, bro, like you had the plan

579
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 2: you did this, I wouldn't have made that much money back,

580
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:41,879
Speaker 2: like go.

581
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:44,119
Speaker 1: Ahead, the other person, I said, absolutely not.

582
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:46,040
Speaker 2: I said, if this was your plan, the fact that

583
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:48,040
Speaker 2: I've lent you money before and you still haven't paid

584
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:49,679
Speaker 2: me the money back from then why would I give

585
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:50,280
Speaker 2: you money now?

586
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:52,080
Speaker 1: And they cussed me out, like.

587
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:53,359
Speaker 7: Those are two different people.

588
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:55,840
Speaker 3: Completely different people, the whole character different.

589
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:58,560
Speaker 2: And because I wouldn't help this person, the person cursed

590
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:02,480
Speaker 2: me out. And we don't talk like a dog. Yeah,

591
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:03,680
Speaker 2: we don't talk no more.

592
00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:05,399
Speaker 8: That's the type of people. You don't let money to

593
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:07,879
Speaker 8: it in the first place. See, but that happened for

594
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:10,880
Speaker 8: a reason. You don't need You're right, And I don't

595
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:11,920
Speaker 8: lose no sleepover it.

596
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 2: I don't because you and you think I took that

597
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:18,760
Speaker 2: curson and laid down to know I this ass?

598
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:21,800
Speaker 1: Who do you think man? Hold up? You sending me

599
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:23,520
Speaker 1: text messages? Now I'm getting on the phone. Who do

600
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:24,520
Speaker 1: you think you talking to?

601
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:24,720
Speaker 7: Like?

602
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:29,560
Speaker 2: Because I'm a nice person, but don't take advantage of that.

603
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:31,320
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, because I do honestly believe

604
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:34,200
Speaker 2: in group economics, I do honestly believe that no one

605
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:37,000
Speaker 2: who lives in abundance should be living in abundance and

606
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:37,920
Speaker 2: gatekeeping all.

607
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:38,760
Speaker 1: Of their resources.

608
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:42,359
Speaker 2: I honestly feel that because the people who are at

609
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:45,639
Speaker 2: a different level where I am have never gate kept

610
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:47,479
Speaker 2: their resources from me.

611
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:49,800
Speaker 1: The only reason why I'm here is because of people like.

612
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:53,080
Speaker 2: Marcel verning, people like IRVN and Mike at the gym,

613
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:55,960
Speaker 2: people like Tyler. I'm like, there's so many names that

614
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:58,720
Speaker 2: I can people like my dad. My dad helped me

615
00:25:58,760 --> 00:25:59,800
Speaker 2: when I needed the most.

616
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:02,120
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. I got friends Bo Sharif.

617
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:05,919
Speaker 2: Me and Sharif was both broke, both broke, and he

618
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,720
Speaker 2: looked together living together, looked in my eyes and could

619
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:11,840
Speaker 2: tell that it was like like I was going through it.

620
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:15,160
Speaker 2: And then at the time, our rent was fifteen hundred

621
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:18,960
Speaker 2: dollars and he just was just like yo, heare And

622
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:20,199
Speaker 2: I was like what's this. He was just like, yo,

623
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:23,560
Speaker 2: it's just fifteen just hold it. And I was just like, yo,

624
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:25,240
Speaker 2: I'll just put it on rent. He's like, no, I

625
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:26,240
Speaker 2: covered the rent.

626
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 1: And I was like.

627
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:31,200
Speaker 4: You right, you know.

628
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:37,600
Speaker 1: Me, you know I Yo, I tried because you.

629
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:42,320
Speaker 3: Just thought in that moment you felt seen like damn,

630
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:44,920
Speaker 3: like you really didn't have to. You don't got it neither.

631
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:48,200
Speaker 3: But something on his spirit was like, yo, I have

632
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:48,760
Speaker 3: you this month.

633
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 2: And my ego did not say no, Bro. My ego

634
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:55,560
Speaker 2: said thank you, and I hugged up man.

635
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 7: Bro.

636
00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:58,600
Speaker 2: I was just like, yo, you have no idea what

637
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:00,880
Speaker 2: you're just doing for me. I didn't ask for help,

638
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:02,200
Speaker 2: but I accepted the help.

639
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:03,760
Speaker 6: That's the big thing as well.

640
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:07,160
Speaker 8: People some people need help too. I think it also

641
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:11,720
Speaker 8: act like what's the word, what's a big word? It

642
00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:19,040
Speaker 8: behooves us uh tod.

643
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:22,080
Speaker 7: It was supposed to be bigger than that. I didn't

644
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:23,000
Speaker 7: realize it was that little.

645
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:27,600
Speaker 8: It's also responsibility for us, like you said, like too

646
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:29,920
Speaker 8: much as given much as required. Yes to also see

647
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:31,960
Speaker 8: when people do need help that we also reach out to.

648
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:34,160
Speaker 8: And I think I'm guilty of not helping people enough.

649
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:34,399
Speaker 1: You know.

650
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:37,200
Speaker 7: That's when I see that myself, Like, but.

651
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:37,840
Speaker 1: You know what it is.

652
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:40,840
Speaker 8: Sometimes you try to help people too, and people just

653
00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:43,080
Speaker 8: you realize that people don't need your help.

654
00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:44,720
Speaker 7: They I mean, they need to help, but they're just

655
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:45,520
Speaker 7: not willing to accept it.

656
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:46,080
Speaker 4: They don't want it.

657
00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:49,120
Speaker 2: And that's really what this episode boils down to, Right,

658
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:51,080
Speaker 2: you don't want to ask for help because you don't

659
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:52,800
Speaker 2: want to be on the hook, but also you don't

660
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:55,119
Speaker 2: want to feel like because we had another friend of

661
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:57,119
Speaker 2: our was saying, I don't like ask people help, especially

662
00:27:57,119 --> 00:27:58,840
Speaker 2: when people think that I'm the one that got it.

663
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 2: That's the problem. We're all thinking that other people are thinking,

664
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:06,320
Speaker 2: and other people are worried about themselves because we all

665
00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:09,560
Speaker 2: are out here struggling. Everybody everybody within.

666
00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:13,240
Speaker 8: Their absolutely Like I think people look at you guys

667
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:15,240
Speaker 8: and saying like, nah, y'all got it made, and y'all

668
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:15,840
Speaker 8: don't need help.

669
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:21,879
Speaker 3: You absolutely need know that, And it's all the people

670
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:25,199
Speaker 3: that were helping in the process. Like we're not just

671
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:28,120
Speaker 3: sitting back here just like yeah, we live in abundant No,

672
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:30,840
Speaker 3: we literally are supporting so many people.

673
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:33,680
Speaker 7: Help is basically community building.

674
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:36,919
Speaker 2: That's what it is because in turn helping us in

675
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:40,000
Speaker 2: different ways that it may not be financial. Right, you

676
00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:42,680
Speaker 2: can grab my kids for me, and I don't got

677
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:43,640
Speaker 2: to stress about that.

678
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:45,640
Speaker 1: Please go grab my cat.

679
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:49,200
Speaker 3: Talk about the power of delegation. Oh yeah, Like I

680
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 3: am the queen of you know what, I just don't

681
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:53,320
Speaker 3: have the capacity right now. Like I even think about

682
00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:55,600
Speaker 3: just help in terms of being a mother and being

683
00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:58,120
Speaker 3: a wife, being a new mom or a new dad.

684
00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 3: It's just like being able to say, Hey, this is

685
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:03,480
Speaker 3: what I need in this moment just to stay afloat

686
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:06,960
Speaker 3: or just to survive. Yeah, Like, it doesn't have to

687
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 3: be again money, it doesn't have to be big life

688
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:12,800
Speaker 3: changing things. Something as small as just lending a hand

689
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:15,840
Speaker 3: or doing a task can really be life changing for

690
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:17,200
Speaker 3: people on a daily basis.

691
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:17,960
Speaker 1: Spending time.

692
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 2: For me, some of the biggest help that I got

693
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 2: is when my boys come over and we work out,

694
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:25,200
Speaker 2: and we sit down and we smoke afterwards, and we

695
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 2: just talk about what we're going through and then we

696
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:29,479
Speaker 2: look at each other and be like, Yo, you're going

697
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:32,160
Speaker 2: through that too, how are you going through that? And

698
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:35,200
Speaker 2: we help each other through emotional hard times. It's like, oh,

699
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:37,840
Speaker 2: your wife is going through that, your kids are going

700
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 2: through this. A lot of times we need to ask

701
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:42,240
Speaker 2: each other help about that. How are you getting through

702
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,040
Speaker 2: this hard time emotionally or spiritually?

703
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:48,120
Speaker 1: And having friends that you can trust and sit down with.

704
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 2: That also breaks the ego because we've talked about it too,

705
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:53,640
Speaker 2: like don't ever be in a spot where there's six

706
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:55,800
Speaker 2: of us in the room and one of us is

707
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:58,560
Speaker 2: not doing well and the other five of us is

708
00:29:58,600 --> 00:29:59,000
Speaker 2: not going to.

709
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:00,600
Speaker 1: Be in a position to help them at one person.

710
00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:03,160
Speaker 2: Sure, but you only get that community when y'all help

711
00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:05,840
Speaker 2: each other and other things. You know, because I got

712
00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:08,040
Speaker 2: college buddies. Now we get together and they be like, yo,

713
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 2: so and so is going through it. You know what

714
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:11,000
Speaker 2: I'm saying, Like, Yo, let's all throw two grand in

715
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:13,560
Speaker 2: the pot and you can just throw somebody ten thousand

716
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,240
Speaker 2: dollars and they can just be settled. And then a

717
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:18,640
Speaker 2: couple months go buys your turn. He's like, man, I

718
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:20,200
Speaker 2: was looking to do this thing for the kids.

719
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:20,880
Speaker 1: But we can't travel.

720
00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:23,640
Speaker 2: And then now you just get a zelle from your

721
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,360
Speaker 2: homies and it's like, Yo, I got five stacks my

722
00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:28,680
Speaker 2: homies put together so I could take my kids on vacation.

723
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:31,560
Speaker 2: I have friend group that do that. You know what

724
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 2: I'm saying. I think that we all have to start

725
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 2: understanding that that's how you as a community grow so

726
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 2: that nobody's struggling, you know, And you're also not shaming people. Now, Nigga,

727
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:42,280
Speaker 2: we paid for your family to go on vacation. We're

728
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:45,160
Speaker 2: not doing that, neither nobody. And this is the thing

729
00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:50,640
Speaker 2: we tell in our groups, don't tell the wives. Let

730
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:53,920
Speaker 2: that man walk in his house and his wife understand

731
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 2: that he found a way to make sure they got it.

732
00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:59,800
Speaker 2: Not your boys had to give you money because maybe

733
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:02,200
Speaker 2: that was his turn to get the money. But you

734
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:05,080
Speaker 2: don't know how many times he's getting help to give

735
00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:07,959
Speaker 2: someone else. So for us, it's you know, amongst us

736
00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:10,920
Speaker 2: as men, sometimes let's get together, let's rock with each other,

737
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:12,760
Speaker 2: you know, let's create a bond so that we can

738
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:13,320
Speaker 2: all be good.

739
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:16,040
Speaker 3: Yeah. I love that support group because, like like he says,

740
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:18,240
Speaker 3: he always has you know, his friends over here, and

741
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:20,840
Speaker 3: the best way to kind of give help sometimes is

742
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:23,560
Speaker 3: just to lend an ear or to have advice or

743
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:25,640
Speaker 3: bro do you think about this same thing goes for

744
00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:28,760
Speaker 3: me and my girlfriend's handy a little guidance, Like it's

745
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:30,320
Speaker 3: it's it's really great when you do have that kind

746
00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:32,840
Speaker 3: of camaraderie, that brotherhood and sisterhood of people you can

747
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:37,240
Speaker 3: rely on. We right right right.

748
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:42,280
Speaker 1: You know I did how much that time because y'all

749
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:43,400
Speaker 1: talked about me crying.

750
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:45,000
Speaker 2: You know how many dudes on the set down on

751
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 2: that on that freaking balcony and cried, I mean the.

752
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:49,000
Speaker 1: Workouse was hard, but.

753
00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:52,320
Speaker 3: For different reasons.

754
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:55,120
Speaker 2: In the house, man, she's gonna ask me what's the dinner.

755
00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:58,880
Speaker 2: I'm like, bro, it's all right.

756
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 3: So we touched on the word gatekeeping, right, and and

757
00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:09,960
Speaker 3: I Devine I think recently mentioned like we don't understand

758
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:12,960
Speaker 3: why people gatekeep, or like, what's the feeling like you

759
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:14,560
Speaker 3: want to keep things to yourself?

760
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:15,000
Speaker 5: Right?

761
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:20,680
Speaker 3: What's you guys' idea about gatekeeping information? You know, your

762
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:23,240
Speaker 3: favorite nail tech? Like some people feel like I don't

763
00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:26,320
Speaker 3: want to share you know who I go to get

764
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:28,560
Speaker 3: things done a because they won't be available for me anymore?

765
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:30,160
Speaker 3: Or be it to st want anybody to have the

766
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:31,560
Speaker 3: experience I have? What did you say?

767
00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:33,400
Speaker 4: It was scarcity mindset?

768
00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:36,520
Speaker 5: People think that if I have it, it's there's not

769
00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:39,480
Speaker 5: enough for everybody. Or even I hate when girls be like,

770
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:42,360
Speaker 5: you know, she copied my haircut, Girl, you don't have

771
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:44,480
Speaker 5: an original idea, No.

772
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:46,880
Speaker 7: Copy you.

773
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 5: It's okay because even if they do have the same haircut,

774
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:52,440
Speaker 5: they can't do it like you because there's only one

775
00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:56,920
Speaker 5: of you. Yeah, but there's nothing there's there's enough for everybody.

776
00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:59,360
Speaker 5: And if you have what they say, you gotta closed

777
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:01,040
Speaker 5: fist you want have room for more.

778
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:01,960
Speaker 1: That's true.

779
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:04,560
Speaker 5: So people that have a scarcity mindset they don't want

780
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:07,120
Speaker 5: to give, but they also don't even have room to

781
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:07,800
Speaker 5: receive more.

782
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:09,040
Speaker 3: That's so true.

783
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:11,240
Speaker 7: Also, people want you to tell them everything. Man, I

784
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:15,400
Speaker 7: tell you everything, Son that everything.

785
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 3: People sometimes don't even read a caption that says go

786
00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:21,080
Speaker 3: to click the link in the bio, like ye, I

787
00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:23,240
Speaker 3: see questions sometimes that pop up and I'm like, did

788
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:25,960
Speaker 3: you even listen to the podcast episode? Did you listen

789
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:26,440
Speaker 3: to the clip?

790
00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:26,840
Speaker 7: Like?

791
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:28,560
Speaker 3: Why are you asking a question? You want me to

792
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:30,920
Speaker 3: go to Google and find this for you to send

793
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:33,200
Speaker 3: you the dress to put it in your shopping cart,

794
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:34,760
Speaker 3: to send it to your house to like.

795
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:40,040
Speaker 8: People will be like, yo, what kind of camera you use?

796
00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:42,440
Speaker 8: I tell you this, what kind of lends you use?

797
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:42,600
Speaker 4: All?

798
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:45,160
Speaker 8: I tell you this, what you do, like, how you

799
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,480
Speaker 8: process it? I tell you this at the end of

800
00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:49,240
Speaker 8: the day, Bro, if I want tell you everything, I'm

801
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:52,480
Speaker 8: not really gatekeeping, Like they just understand what gatekeeper actually is.

802
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:54,960
Speaker 8: That people are not going to give you every piece

803
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:58,040
Speaker 8: of information. I can tell you, you know what I

804
00:33:58,080 --> 00:33:59,840
Speaker 8: went through to get to it. But my road is

805
00:33:59,880 --> 00:34:03,200
Speaker 8: now your role like my gate at your gate son.

806
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 1: I have nothing to add to that.

807
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:08,439
Speaker 2: I agree, like your process and how you found out

808
00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:10,480
Speaker 2: is what made you learn how to do it. When

809
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:12,759
Speaker 2: you take away the process from them, just like a child,

810
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:14,960
Speaker 2: you take away the process, I'm not helping you if

811
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:17,160
Speaker 2: I just give you all the answers how to figure

812
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:17,440
Speaker 2: it out.

813
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:20,759
Speaker 8: And talked about the coconut the spot in Brooklyn with

814
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:22,840
Speaker 8: the coconuts, and was like, you're not going to just

815
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:25,600
Speaker 8: give you the supply. It's not a gatekeepro this is

816
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:27,319
Speaker 8: what this is my business.

817
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:30,040
Speaker 5: That is a fact, and that's a boundary more so

818
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:31,040
Speaker 5: than gatekeeping.

819
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:31,319
Speaker 2: Right.

820
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:35,680
Speaker 5: People ask me like oh, people will try to finesse

821
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:38,160
Speaker 5: and BM me like you know, I just got a

822
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:41,040
Speaker 5: couple of questions about podcasts and and I'm like you

823
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:46,960
Speaker 5: can click the link in and there's too much.

824
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:51,840
Speaker 3: Like you have to sign up for my I don't like.

825
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:54,200
Speaker 7: I don't like the term gatekeeper. It pisses me off. Man.

826
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:58,840
Speaker 8: It's making me can tell you can tell maeople do anything.

827
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:01,560
Speaker 8: You literally can do anything out here, bro. And people

828
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 8: be like yo, this person's gate keeping.

829
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:04,760
Speaker 7: End up giving me the information.

830
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:12,759
Speaker 8: Right time, cameras just like people hold back. People think

831
00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:14,680
Speaker 8: people are holding back, but I think the reality is

832
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:15,560
Speaker 8: people are not.

833
00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:16,920
Speaker 7: People are over sharing.

834
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:19,080
Speaker 1: If anything, I feel you on that I do.

835
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:20,920
Speaker 8: I do feel like you want my produce like you

836
00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:24,960
Speaker 8: want my producers information like some people just like I

837
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:26,960
Speaker 8: think what it like, what I think we should be

838
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:29,040
Speaker 8: doing is asking for help, but at the same time

839
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 8: doing You checked me on it yesterday, you be like, Yo,

840
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:36,120
Speaker 8: it's not just I'm hustling too, It's not just me

841
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:39,080
Speaker 8: doing that. People want to see you're you doing something

842
00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:41,640
Speaker 8: at the same time. So there's a happy balance in

843
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:45,200
Speaker 8: asking for help and doing the work because if you're

844
00:35:45,239 --> 00:35:47,719
Speaker 8: doing something, people are going to ask you, right, and

845
00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:50,040
Speaker 8: if that person is doing something as well, that's what

846
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:53,200
Speaker 8: makes the whole thing go together. This is a role, right,

847
00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:55,799
Speaker 8: And some people are on a moving train, and that

848
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 8: train you have some people are going slow than others,

849
00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:00,800
Speaker 8: and some people are going backwards. But if you're going backwards,

850
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 8: if my train is moving, how do you expect me.

851
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:03,440
Speaker 7: To help you?

852
00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:06,080
Speaker 3: And some people want the shortcut. Ultimately, people just want

853
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:08,759
Speaker 3: the shortcut. In a world of instant gratification, people want

854
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:10,879
Speaker 3: to skip the steps. Yes, tell me all the things

855
00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:12,560
Speaker 3: that you did so I could blow through that so

856
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:14,640
Speaker 3: I can get to where I think I want to be,

857
00:36:14,719 --> 00:36:16,759
Speaker 3: which is where you're at. When it's like yo, you're

858
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:20,759
Speaker 3: completely disrespecting the entire process of trying to do the

859
00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:22,799
Speaker 3: work required to get to where you want to go.

860
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:25,840
Speaker 1: That's where the people say you gay keeping that is

861
00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:26,280
Speaker 1: a fact.

862
00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:29,439
Speaker 2: I'm trying to find something to argue because.

863
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:34,480
Speaker 1: You see, I'm trying to look for something, but I

864
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:35,200
Speaker 1: can't because.

865
00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:38,040
Speaker 7: You absolutely how many trains, how many people you work with?

866
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:42,319
Speaker 8: Right, people only work with you, and you've only worked

867
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:45,400
Speaker 8: with people because your trains are moving in the same

868
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:46,439
Speaker 8: direction all the time.

869
00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:48,520
Speaker 7: It doesn't need to be moving at that same speed.

870
00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:49,680
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.

871
00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:51,279
Speaker 8: I could pick you up and you could jump on

872
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:53,360
Speaker 8: my train and we could just take this train together.

873
00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:55,920
Speaker 8: I'm helping you. But you talked about it with your

874
00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:59,120
Speaker 8: boy myself. It was a moving train. It was it

875
00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:00,759
Speaker 8: was a moving train. Because if you're going back to

876
00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 8: the business, if you were going back where he wouldn't.

877
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:07,520
Speaker 3: Right, right, if you were a flaky dude, if you

878
00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:09,480
Speaker 3: weren't building your own thing from the ground up, he

879
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:11,560
Speaker 3: just yeah, like Joshaid found the opportunity.

880
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:14,560
Speaker 2: You also brought up a good point. You got to

881
00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:16,719
Speaker 2: understand when something is in investment and something is helped,

882
00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:20,280
Speaker 2: because that's also a big difference, right, Yeah, if someone

883
00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:23,960
Speaker 2: invests in your idea, they expect a return on that investment.

884
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:27,000
Speaker 2: So yeah, they're going to be on you, like what's

885
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:29,920
Speaker 2: moving with the business. If someone's just giving you money,

886
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:32,319
Speaker 2: then that's a that's a favor, you know what I'm saying.

887
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:35,040
Speaker 1: People have to know the difference. With Marcel, it wasn't

888
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:35,480
Speaker 1: a favor.

889
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:37,840
Speaker 2: Our trains were going in the same direction because he

890
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:39,920
Speaker 2: was leaving Cushman Awake and he was looking to invest

891
00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:42,680
Speaker 2: in small businesses to build out his portfolio. So it

892
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:44,680
Speaker 2: was like he saw me go in this direction and

893
00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:45,560
Speaker 2: this is what we had.

894
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:47,840
Speaker 1: So you're absolutely right. People do need to know the

895
00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:50,400
Speaker 1: difference between an investment and a favor.

896
00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:53,360
Speaker 7: You mean people I've.

897
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:57,040
Speaker 8: Used in my business as either assistance or whatever, and

898
00:37:57,920 --> 00:37:59,759
Speaker 8: I know that they need help and they want to

899
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:01,880
Speaker 8: help me, Like they say they want to help me,

900
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:06,040
Speaker 8: they really want money, which is fine, right right, But

901
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:08,600
Speaker 8: I see a lot of times they're just not willing to,

902
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:12,960
Speaker 8: like I want to do this. It's not about earning

903
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:16,760
Speaker 8: something or whatever. They want to be putting a certain musician.

904
00:38:17,239 --> 00:38:18,799
Speaker 8: They want to feel like they're in a position and

905
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:22,000
Speaker 8: not realizing that the help that they're getting it might

906
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:25,080
Speaker 8: be menial, right, It might be just carry backs. It

907
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:27,320
Speaker 8: might be just standing at this photoboo from pressing his button.

908
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:28,759
Speaker 8: But yo, you're getting to help you need, bro.

909
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:32,040
Speaker 2: But you know why that that's disappeared in this demographic

910
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:37,480
Speaker 2: or age group. There's no more like trades and mentorship programs.

911
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:40,319
Speaker 2: Remember when we were growing up, you did things for

912
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:42,480
Speaker 2: somebody and didn't get paid because you wanted to learn

913
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:44,919
Speaker 2: how to do it. Now it's you got to pay

914
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:47,840
Speaker 2: me for my time even if I'm not qualified to do.

915
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:50,640
Speaker 2: And I feel like we're losing a lot of good

916
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:53,840
Speaker 2: hard workers because, yeah, you have no experience in this,

917
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:56,560
Speaker 2: and you expect to get paid sixty thousand dollars to

918
00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:58,279
Speaker 2: come here and have me teach you. Like I'm not

919
00:38:58,360 --> 00:38:58,799
Speaker 2: doing that.

920
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:00,399
Speaker 7: Nobody want to work or nothing.

921
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:01,440
Speaker 1: Man, That is a fact.

922
00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:01,839
Speaker 7: I've seen.

923
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:04,640
Speaker 8: I've seen a post on threads the other day where

924
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:08,920
Speaker 8: somebody posted like, this is you know this job is open,

925
00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:11,840
Speaker 8: it's not a paid position. All the comments in it

926
00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:14,000
Speaker 8: was this is if you're looking to be in this field.

927
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:16,160
Speaker 8: This is an opportunity for you. Now, I do know

928
00:39:16,239 --> 00:39:17,480
Speaker 8: people exploit other people.

929
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:18,160
Speaker 1: Absolutely.

930
00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:20,120
Speaker 8: Everybody in the comments was like, so you just want

931
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:21,680
Speaker 8: people work for free?

932
00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:22,320
Speaker 1: Yes?

933
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:24,320
Speaker 3: Do you know how many internships.

934
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:25,879
Speaker 7: You're going to learn SOMETHINGE?

935
00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:28,239
Speaker 8: You don't got to do this every weekend, but son

936
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:30,319
Speaker 8: take the experience, ya I did.

937
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:35,840
Speaker 5: I learned podcasting by working for free for like five years,

938
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:40,440
Speaker 5: making my own podcast, making other people's podcasts, not getting

939
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:42,960
Speaker 5: paid anything, and people would help me and do things

940
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:45,320
Speaker 5: for me for free. And now that I've started my business,

941
00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 5: like I produced my own my first live show twenty

942
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:53,200
Speaker 5: seventeen for my podcast, and I got people to like

943
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:56,840
Speaker 5: steal recording equipment from a recording.

944
00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:59,720
Speaker 1: Studio, Way.

945
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:06,759
Speaker 5: Who had just started her like taco catering business. She

946
00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:10,200
Speaker 5: did tacos and she sold them because I couldn't pay

947
00:40:10,239 --> 00:40:12,640
Speaker 5: for them. I didn't charge people to get in, but

948
00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:15,000
Speaker 5: I sold like raffle tickets. We did like a raffle

949
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:18,359
Speaker 5: and I hired a band, a five piece band, because

950
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:20,040
Speaker 5: I wanted it to look like a nightly show.

951
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:22,560
Speaker 4: And I had cameras.

952
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:27,319
Speaker 5: I had three cameras, five piece band, two interviews, and

953
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:29,600
Speaker 5: it was all recorded the band. I was like, y'all

954
00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:33,040
Speaker 5: can have whatever we make off the raffle. We made

955
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:36,000
Speaker 5: twenty five dollars and they had to split it between.

956
00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:39,360
Speaker 4: But this year, well last.

957
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:41,800
Speaker 5: Year, when I started my business, I started to need

958
00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:45,040
Speaker 5: somebody to make original music for me. So the girl

959
00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:47,520
Speaker 5: who made the music for my podcast and put together

960
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 5: that band.

961
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,520
Speaker 4: For me, I was able to hire her first project.

962
00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:53,560
Speaker 5: So that and she worked for free for me for

963
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:56,040
Speaker 5: all that time, and we just had fun because we

964
00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:58,719
Speaker 5: both had a desire to live off of our creativity.

965
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:01,520
Speaker 3: But you so you started to from the ground up.

966
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:04,279
Speaker 3: And we said before that too many people sometimes want

967
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:06,840
Speaker 3: to jump down the steps and to get to the

968
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:09,000
Speaker 3: person who's already at the top. And it's like, nah,

969
00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:11,680
Speaker 3: build with the people around you. Because what happened, you

970
00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:13,920
Speaker 3: had an opportunity to be able to pay her for something,

971
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:15,640
Speaker 3: and you then was like, yo, it was great to

972
00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:18,160
Speaker 3: work with her. She did a great job this time unpaid.

973
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:20,080
Speaker 3: Now I have somebody to throw her away to do

974
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:22,719
Speaker 3: something years later. You never know the impact you're going

975
00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:24,399
Speaker 3: to make on somebody when you do have a free

976
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:25,800
Speaker 3: opportunity to do her internship.

977
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:28,600
Speaker 2: And I want to say this too, man, it ain't

978
00:41:28,719 --> 00:41:31,200
Speaker 2: just they make it seem like, you know, they only

979
00:41:31,239 --> 00:41:34,160
Speaker 2: ask poor people or broke people to work for free, which.

980
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:34,600
Speaker 1: Is not true.

981
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:36,960
Speaker 2: Jonah Hill was one of the highest paid actors in

982
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:38,440
Speaker 2: Hollywood when.

983
00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:41,120
Speaker 1: He did Wolf of Wallstrouke, and he took.

984
00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:43,719
Speaker 2: An extremely high pay cut because he wanted to see

985
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:46,120
Speaker 2: what it was like to work on a set with

986
00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:48,759
Speaker 2: the Leonardo DiCaprio. He was like, this is just going

987
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 2: to change my career. So just being here, I think

988
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:52,360
Speaker 2: he got paid.

989
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:54,200
Speaker 1: His SAG minimum per day rate.

990
00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:55,839
Speaker 2: It was I here like, I think it was something

991
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:58,279
Speaker 2: like twenty six thousand dollars, which if you understand the

992
00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:01,200
Speaker 2: music industry, I mean that the movie industry at that time,

993
00:42:01,239 --> 00:42:03,760
Speaker 2: he was worth anywhere between ten to fifteen million dollars

994
00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:06,359
Speaker 2: per movie. But he took a job making twenty six

995
00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:08,880
Speaker 2: thousand dollars because he wanted to learn, but also getting

996
00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:11,400
Speaker 2: an experience. That goes back to what Josh is saying,

997
00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:12,680
Speaker 2: you see something.

998
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:14,120
Speaker 1: That's going to help you.

999
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:16,239
Speaker 2: You can't always get paid for stuff, especially if you

1000
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:18,880
Speaker 2: don't have experience. And if your response is going to

1001
00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:20,840
Speaker 2: be you expect people to work for free, the answer

1002
00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:25,200
Speaker 2: is yes, especially if you don't have experience. I just

1003
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:27,520
Speaker 2: did my last TV or a film project. By talks

1004
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:30,120
Speaker 2: about did my last film project, and I make a

1005
00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:31,560
Speaker 2: lot of money on TV, but I did it for

1006
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:34,680
Speaker 2: free because I had never worked in that space, doing

1007
00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:38,000
Speaker 2: that genre. So I felt like I didn't have to

1008
00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:39,640
Speaker 2: be compensated because I was not.

1009
00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:42,480
Speaker 1: What's talk about qualified.

1010
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:45,279
Speaker 2: I didn't think I was qualified to I thought I

1011
00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:47,520
Speaker 2: was qualified to act in the project, but I didn't

1012
00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:50,319
Speaker 2: think my value came enough. I had to learn some

1013
00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:52,359
Speaker 2: and I was willing to do that. And I think

1014
00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:55,000
Speaker 2: more people need to understand that your value in something else.

1015
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:56,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a sacrifice.

1016
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:58,280
Speaker 3: So even at this stage in the game, you still

1017
00:42:58,280 --> 00:43:01,719
Speaker 3: felt like, yo, I can do projects that are as

1018
00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:04,680
Speaker 3: an investment for me because I'm going to gain from that,

1019
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:07,319
Speaker 3: and the potential opportunity that are going to come from

1020
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:10,319
Speaker 3: it is contingent upon me taking this unpaid right now.

1021
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:14,000
Speaker 5: I have always refused to work for free, Yeah, when

1022
00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:16,640
Speaker 5: I wanted to. So I got into podcasting because I

1023
00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:19,239
Speaker 5: wanted to be a radio host, and in order to

1024
00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:20,520
Speaker 5: get on the radio, you got to work for the

1025
00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:22,920
Speaker 5: radio station for free. Radio stations really don't have a

1026
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:25,400
Speaker 5: lot of money. They always want interns they want people's

1027
00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:26,920
Speaker 5: street team people, and they want you to work for

1028
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:29,120
Speaker 5: free just to get your fucking foot in the door.

1029
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:32,279
Speaker 5: I was already a host for live events, and I

1030
00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:34,759
Speaker 5: was like, well, if I can do something on my

1031
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:38,759
Speaker 5: own that I can teach myself more skills that could

1032
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:41,520
Speaker 5: possibly pay off even more than just being a radio host.

1033
00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 5: And I would rather do it myself and use the

1034
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:47,279
Speaker 5: resources that I have available to me for free and

1035
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:51,360
Speaker 5: create something rather than just working toward creating something for

1036
00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:53,800
Speaker 5: somebody else. I can create something for myself. So I

1037
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:55,880
Speaker 5: feel like there is a way that you can do it.

1038
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:58,640
Speaker 5: If you don't want to work for free for somebody else,

1039
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:01,480
Speaker 5: that's you're putting all of your effort into creating somebody

1040
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:04,880
Speaker 5: else's dream. You can put your effort into creating your

1041
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:08,200
Speaker 5: own dream and learning and building your expertise. I read

1042
00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:11,759
Speaker 5: this book called The Defining Decade by doctor Meg ja

1043
00:44:12,440 --> 00:44:14,480
Speaker 5: Hy thirty is not the New twenties what it's called

1044
00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:18,160
Speaker 5: and it's about. She talks about this thing called identity

1045
00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:22,120
Speaker 5: capital and building your identity capital in your twenties so

1046
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:25,359
Speaker 5: that you can have a job that you are good

1047
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:27,080
Speaker 5: at and that you like. You go to college, you

1048
00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:28,480
Speaker 5: don't really know what you want to do with your life,

1049
00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:30,799
Speaker 5: and then you discover you might be into something else.

1050
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:33,520
Speaker 5: So you go out and you either you can find

1051
00:44:33,560 --> 00:44:37,120
Speaker 5: a mentor or take an internship or a free job fellowship,

1052
00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:39,759
Speaker 5: or you can teach yourself new skills that build your

1053
00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:42,919
Speaker 5: identity capital and make you a better candidate for things

1054
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:45,440
Speaker 5: that you want to do. But you don't have experience

1055
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:48,319
Speaker 5: in today, So I feel like you don't necessarily have

1056
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:51,560
Speaker 5: to work towards somebody else's goal, you know, if you're

1057
00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:53,759
Speaker 5: not going to be getting paid, because I think that

1058
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:56,600
Speaker 5: is it can be exploitation, especially when we're talking about

1059
00:44:56,600 --> 00:45:01,560
Speaker 5: certain industries. You can do it yourself, teach yourself like

1060
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:03,760
Speaker 5: there's nothing wrong with being self taught. And the internet

1061
00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:05,520
Speaker 5: is so fucking vast. You can learn how to do

1062
00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:10,319
Speaker 5: anything on YouTube. On people have put out free textbooks

1063
00:45:10,400 --> 00:45:12,239
Speaker 5: about anything you want to learn.

1064
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:13,400
Speaker 4: It's all there for you.

1065
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:15,640
Speaker 5: But you have to put the time in, which is

1066
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:18,000
Speaker 5: either it's going to cost you. You know, there's a

1067
00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:21,399
Speaker 5: cost associated with it. You got to decide what it's

1068
00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:22,399
Speaker 5: worth to you to do it.

1069
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:24,919
Speaker 2: I agree with you, but I do feel like there's

1070
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:28,239
Speaker 2: value in apprenticeship. I do too, absolutely not think that's

1071
00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:31,000
Speaker 2: the working for free aspect, because yeah, you can work

1072
00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:32,400
Speaker 2: for free and try to figure it out on your

1073
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:34,400
Speaker 2: own and that can take you five years, or you

1074
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:37,120
Speaker 2: can apprentice for someone for six months and learn all

1075
00:45:37,160 --> 00:45:41,280
Speaker 2: of that. Yeah, I'm the king of working for free

1076
00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:43,440
Speaker 2: or for six months to a year. I did that

1077
00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:46,279
Speaker 2: at Parici Speed School. I was making ten dollars an hour.

1078
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:48,760
Speaker 2: As a former NFL athlete. I was making five hundred

1079
00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:52,040
Speaker 2: thousand dollars a year coming out the NFL, and then

1080
00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:53,520
Speaker 2: they were like, Devale, we can pay you ten.

1081
00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:55,759
Speaker 1: Dollars an hour. I was like, cool, because I learned.

1082
00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:59,680
Speaker 2: I learned how I got my degree in kinesiology through them.

1083
00:45:59,719 --> 00:46:03,920
Speaker 2: I got my certifications for my Nation National Academy.

1084
00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:05,960
Speaker 3: Of Sports and Pride. Some companies will invest in you

1085
00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:09,200
Speaker 3: by putting you through these certification programs that you paid for.

1086
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:10,719
Speaker 1: They paid for my certifications.

1087
00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:13,120
Speaker 2: Plus I also just saw how the business worked, and

1088
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:16,120
Speaker 2: I realized, and I'll never forget this. I go in

1089
00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:17,960
Speaker 2: there to PEIZI and I'm speaking to them. I said,

1090
00:46:17,960 --> 00:46:19,600
Speaker 2: that's what we need to do. I just came out

1091
00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:21,560
Speaker 2: to the league. We get all these high end athletes, we

1092
00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:23,239
Speaker 2: can get these schools in that school, and they were

1093
00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:25,439
Speaker 2: just looking at me and they said, that's nice. They said,

1094
00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:29,719
Speaker 2: our demographic is between seven and eleven. And I was

1095
00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:31,719
Speaker 2: just like what I said, I can get. I can

1096
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:35,560
Speaker 2: get Calvin Johnson. That's my boy. I get this price,

1097
00:46:35,640 --> 00:46:38,239
Speaker 2: he said, Devalo. Those people do not pay the train.

1098
00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:41,040
Speaker 2: They're already elite athletes. They are going to come here

1099
00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:43,520
Speaker 2: for free. We need people who are going to pay

1100
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:45,879
Speaker 2: for training. You know who pays for training. The kid

1101
00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:47,799
Speaker 2: who wants to get faster, to be the fastest in

1102
00:46:47,840 --> 00:46:50,640
Speaker 2: their class. You know why, because that's all they want

1103
00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:53,520
Speaker 2: to do, seven to eleven. They don't care about Gucci

1104
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:56,200
Speaker 2: belts and sneakers. Mom, I just want to be the fastest.

1105
00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:58,160
Speaker 2: And then I realized, like, wait a minute, so y'all

1106
00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:01,640
Speaker 2: business model isn't dependent upon elite.

1107
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:04,440
Speaker 3: Athletes like no, it's dependent upon parents who need to

1108
00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:06,560
Speaker 3: send their kids somewhere and after school. I only learned

1109
00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:07,880
Speaker 3: one of them until they get tired.

1110
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:10,120
Speaker 2: And I only learned that through apprenticeship because if I

1111
00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:12,040
Speaker 2: would have tried to do it my own, I would

1112
00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:14,080
Speaker 2: have been fumbling and bundling how to get my friends

1113
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:15,080
Speaker 2: to join my gym.

1114
00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:18,759
Speaker 1: So that that alone just taught me like, sometimes it's

1115
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:19,560
Speaker 1: good to work for free.

1116
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:21,560
Speaker 3: Yeah. I did the same thing at MAC. I mean

1117
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:23,560
Speaker 3: it wasn't completely free, but I was working part time,

1118
00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:26,239
Speaker 3: self taught makeup, like you said, going online, you know,

1119
00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:29,000
Speaker 3: playing around in it a bit, and then finally getting

1120
00:47:29,080 --> 00:47:31,440
Speaker 3: hired and then realizing, oh, they're going to put me

1121
00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:34,160
Speaker 3: through training anyway, So I already had an act for

1122
00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:37,280
Speaker 3: doing makeup. Then I get some kind of formal training

1123
00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:39,919
Speaker 3: by going through their training process, and then I start

1124
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:42,320
Speaker 3: working with people, and then I start making relationships, and

1125
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:44,480
Speaker 3: then I started building clientele, and then I'm like, oh,

1126
00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:46,400
Speaker 3: I can do this outside of the store. Oh I

1127
00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:48,759
Speaker 3: could make X amount of dollars outside of the store.

1128
00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:50,680
Speaker 3: And that's how I was able to transition from being

1129
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:54,520
Speaker 3: in retail to having my own makeup business. You know.

1130
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:58,799
Speaker 8: So I would say, don't it's not really working for free.

1131
00:47:59,440 --> 00:48:03,160
Speaker 8: Don't work for free if you're gonna get it transaction. Yeah,

1132
00:48:03,239 --> 00:48:07,080
Speaker 8: if it's transactional and you're learning something, fine do that,

1133
00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:10,040
Speaker 8: but and make sure it's short term. Don't go to

1134
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:13,359
Speaker 8: nobody's job and just be working for free. If you're

1135
00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:15,520
Speaker 8: getting something from it and it's going to help you

1136
00:48:15,680 --> 00:48:16,319
Speaker 8: in what you're doing.

1137
00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:17,480
Speaker 7: In your learning. Do that.

1138
00:48:17,719 --> 00:48:21,239
Speaker 8: But yeah, nobody, do not work for don't go to

1139
00:48:21,320 --> 00:48:26,200
Speaker 8: Wendy's for free, don't do that, don't do anything you

1140
00:48:26,280 --> 00:48:27,959
Speaker 8: don't enjoy doing for free.

1141
00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:30,640
Speaker 3: To be somewhat mutually benefitical usanity.

1142
00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:33,800
Speaker 5: Capital is just as valuable as I wouldn't say just

1143
00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:37,120
Speaker 5: as valuable, but it's valuable in terms of like pain.

1144
00:48:37,520 --> 00:48:40,600
Speaker 5: So if it is you're getting pain and experience, that's

1145
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:43,680
Speaker 5: going to help you to expand your career, do more

1146
00:48:43,719 --> 00:48:46,680
Speaker 5: of what you love, do something better, then that is

1147
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:47,880
Speaker 5: worth your effort.

1148
00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:52,200
Speaker 1: That's my just got my moment, I just got my

1149
00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:53,040
Speaker 1: moment of truth.

1150
00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:54,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know where I think is one of the

1151
00:48:54,960 --> 00:49:01,520
Speaker 3: biggest ecosystems of help. Essentially working at Tyler Perry Studios,

1152
00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:05,439
Speaker 3: I was able to see it firsthand filming this first

1153
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:08,320
Speaker 3: season of the show Divorces This because I realized that

1154
00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:12,920
Speaker 3: people who had positions like the reader or just the PA,

1155
00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:17,280
Speaker 3: you know, they are so vital to the bigger picture,

1156
00:49:17,719 --> 00:49:19,080
Speaker 3: but so many of them are like, you know, I

1157
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:20,440
Speaker 3: want to be an actress too. I want to be

1158
00:49:20,440 --> 00:49:22,399
Speaker 3: an actor, like I want to be this, I want

1159
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:24,960
Speaker 3: to be that. So while you're doing reading with me

1160
00:49:25,280 --> 00:49:28,520
Speaker 3: and you're grabbing my coffee. You have a front row

1161
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:32,759
Speaker 3: seat to seeing how every aspect of the production is done.

1162
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:35,680
Speaker 3: And I think that that is a valuable situation where

1163
00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:38,040
Speaker 3: you can get paid because you technically are working and

1164
00:49:38,160 --> 00:49:41,400
Speaker 3: it maybe won't be a lot, but the interactions you

1165
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:44,120
Speaker 3: have with people. It's an industry where people never forget

1166
00:49:44,200 --> 00:49:46,040
Speaker 3: a face. So if you have a really good interaction

1167
00:49:46,160 --> 00:49:48,320
Speaker 3: with someone, it may lead to something else in the future.

1168
00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:51,200
Speaker 3: If you have a very poor interaction with folks, then

1169
00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:53,399
Speaker 3: it may not lead anywhere. But it's nice to see

1170
00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:54,920
Speaker 3: that there are people who are willing to say, you

1171
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:56,440
Speaker 3: know what, I want to start from the bottom up

1172
00:49:56,480 --> 00:49:59,439
Speaker 3: and see how every bit of this production works. Because

1173
00:49:59,480 --> 00:50:02,080
Speaker 3: you also then get to understand what you like and

1174
00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:03,719
Speaker 3: what you don't like. You might have thought you wanted

1175
00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:05,400
Speaker 3: to be a cameraman and then you're like, you know what,

1176
00:50:05,520 --> 00:50:07,200
Speaker 3: I actually don't want to touch a camera. I want

1177
00:50:07,239 --> 00:50:09,480
Speaker 3: to do this instead, you know. So that was an

1178
00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:11,880
Speaker 3: interesting dynamic to be in in that capacity for the

1179
00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:14,440
Speaker 3: first time because it was really like an intensive for

1180
00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:16,440
Speaker 3: whatever you want to do within that field.

1181
00:50:17,960 --> 00:50:21,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, I've been I need that Tyler Perry help.

1182
00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:23,400
Speaker 7: I knew that was coming.

1183
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:25,759
Speaker 1: Once the season.

1184
00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:40,160
Speaker 3: Right now, be there, Gate, just don't say we sent

1185
00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:45,439
Speaker 3: you all right, all right, now, we can't keep these bills.

1186
00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:47,160
Speaker 3: Let's go pay some bills, and we're going to come

1187
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:50,080
Speaker 3: back with listen to another episode for today, So stick

1188
00:50:50,120 --> 00:51:07,480
Speaker 3: around all alrighty then are we back? We're back, all right,

1189
00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:10,560
Speaker 3: We're back with our listener letter episode, well not episode.

1190
00:51:10,680 --> 00:51:13,160
Speaker 3: I love the listener episode sidebar, but this is not that.

1191
00:51:13,719 --> 00:51:16,040
Speaker 3: We just have one for today. I feel like I've

1192
00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:18,240
Speaker 3: been sitting on the couch right next to y'all, nodding

1193
00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:20,799
Speaker 3: my head, laughing and taking notes every time I listen.

1194
00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:24,120
Speaker 3: I appreciate how honest and layered your conversations are, especially

1195
00:51:24,120 --> 00:51:26,839
Speaker 3: when it comes to identity, family growth, and marriage, even

1196
00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:29,359
Speaker 3: though I'm not married yet. Thank you. You both are

1197
00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:32,040
Speaker 3: a mara for how I think and feel. I'm a

1198
00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:34,759
Speaker 3: twenty five year old creative entrepreneur building my brand and

1199
00:51:34,840 --> 00:51:38,440
Speaker 3: business from the ground up with photography, media, digital products

1200
00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:43,880
Speaker 3: all under my brand z MF Studios. I'm a minimalist

1201
00:51:43,960 --> 00:51:46,839
Speaker 3: with a big vision, and I've always walked with walked

1202
00:51:46,840 --> 00:51:49,279
Speaker 3: a little differently from the people around me. I'm the

1203
00:51:49,520 --> 00:51:53,680
Speaker 3: quote unquote quiet storm in my family, observant hardworking, deeply

1204
00:51:53,800 --> 00:51:56,960
Speaker 3: self aware, but also loud with my dreams, and always

1205
00:51:57,000 --> 00:52:00,400
Speaker 3: seeking more, not just financially but emotionally, in space virtually.

1206
00:52:00,840 --> 00:52:03,960
Speaker 3: That's awesome. The episode you guys did on perfectionism hit

1207
00:52:04,080 --> 00:52:07,359
Speaker 3: me hard because I often feel like I'm doing life

1208
00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:11,520
Speaker 3: quote unquote wrong, simply because I do it differently, moving

1209
00:52:11,600 --> 00:52:14,680
Speaker 3: in silence, focusing on long term over flashy quick winds,

1210
00:52:15,080 --> 00:52:17,560
Speaker 3: taking time to heal and grow even when folks around

1211
00:52:17,600 --> 00:52:21,640
Speaker 3: me don't understand. I stay low key, but I'm always

1212
00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:25,080
Speaker 3: building something. Still, I struggle with feeling misunderstood and over

1213
00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:28,719
Speaker 3: responsible for everyone's expectations of me. How do I show

1214
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:32,000
Speaker 3: up as my full, unique self, especially in a household

1215
00:52:32,120 --> 00:52:34,960
Speaker 3: or environment that doesn't get it. How do I balance

1216
00:52:35,040 --> 00:52:38,080
Speaker 3: honoring the way I think with being open to growth

1217
00:52:38,200 --> 00:52:42,520
Speaker 3: when I feel like the odd one out? Yep, I

1218
00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:45,879
Speaker 3: can already tell. Also, as a fellow creative, I gotta

1219
00:52:45,920 --> 00:52:48,839
Speaker 3: say I love seeing how you support black artists. It's

1220
00:52:48,880 --> 00:52:52,200
Speaker 3: inspiring to see black creators being uplifted in spaces like yours.

1221
00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:53,920
Speaker 3: I hope to be on that level one day. And

1222
00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:56,480
Speaker 3: if y'all ever need a fresh creative eye or someone

1223
00:52:56,560 --> 00:52:58,839
Speaker 3: behind the lens with love and intention. I'd be honored

1224
00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:01,560
Speaker 3: to connect. Thank you offer being real and keep doing

1225
00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:05,120
Speaker 3: and keep doing, keep doing what you do. Wow, that

1226
00:53:05,280 --> 00:53:07,200
Speaker 3: was awesome. I get ready to tell that she's destined

1227
00:53:07,200 --> 00:53:07,600
Speaker 3: for greatness.

1228
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:10,680
Speaker 5: Let me just interject, because she's not gonna be great

1229
00:53:10,719 --> 00:53:14,600
Speaker 5: if she keeps trying to take my job, though, it's.

1230
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:18,040
Speaker 4: Gonna be a great gonna be a great ass trying

1231
00:53:18,080 --> 00:53:18,640
Speaker 4: to take my job.

1232
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:20,240
Speaker 7: Was about to say this, she drop an Instagram.

1233
00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:26,120
Speaker 3: She hit her hit her, you hit her email address,

1234
00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:28,280
Speaker 3: so we can't conte.

1235
00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:33,640
Speaker 7: Her photography name on it was she put it by.

1236
00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:34,960
Speaker 1: The contact asked triple for what.

1237
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:38,160
Speaker 3: B b L Studios.

1238
00:53:42,200 --> 00:53:42,799
Speaker 7: Studios.

1239
00:53:44,040 --> 00:53:46,400
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, baby, you are destined for greatness. I

1240
00:53:46,440 --> 00:53:51,120
Speaker 3: could already tell you're misunderstood. Who was successful?

1241
00:53:51,480 --> 00:53:54,360
Speaker 1: Tyler said, this is season one. He was just like

1242
00:53:54,960 --> 00:53:58,560
Speaker 1: I asked him what do I have to do to

1243
00:53:58,680 --> 00:54:01,440
Speaker 1: be like the greatest? And he's like, what do you mean?

1244
00:54:01,680 --> 00:54:02,920
Speaker 2: And I was just like, I want to be the greatest.

1245
00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:04,040
Speaker 2: I want to be the biggest. I want to be

1246
00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:06,320
Speaker 2: the biggest star I can be in this generation. And

1247
00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:08,800
Speaker 2: he was just like, be prepared to be lonely, be

1248
00:54:08,960 --> 00:54:12,480
Speaker 2: prepared to be misunderstood. Be prepared to take chances when

1249
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:15,279
Speaker 2: no one else sees your vision, and be prepared to

1250
00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:17,440
Speaker 2: sit in that. It seems like she's going through that

1251
00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:20,440
Speaker 2: right now and doesn't know what that feels like. But

1252
00:54:20,520 --> 00:54:22,879
Speaker 2: I tell you every step of my life. I walked

1253
00:54:22,920 --> 00:54:24,720
Speaker 2: on the hospital when I had a scholarship the Stony

1254
00:54:24,760 --> 00:54:27,040
Speaker 2: Brooks people said I was stupid. I tried out to

1255
00:54:27,080 --> 00:54:28,520
Speaker 2: be a free agent for the lines. When I had

1256
00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:31,080
Speaker 2: a job offer from Hostital, people said I was stupid.

1257
00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:34,439
Speaker 2: Then I left the NFL and started doing social media

1258
00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:34,799
Speaker 2: and TV.

1259
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:38,320
Speaker 1: People said I was stupid. But I just had my

1260
00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:39,960
Speaker 1: own vision and I just didn't care.

1261
00:54:40,400 --> 00:54:43,480
Speaker 7: I think you get motivated with people call you stupid.

1262
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:45,960
Speaker 7: I think you need people to call you stupid to

1263
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:46,680
Speaker 7: get stuff done.

1264
00:54:47,120 --> 00:54:48,000
Speaker 1: You know, it's funny.

1265
00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:51,560
Speaker 2: Time you want to tell de Val you want to

1266
00:54:51,560 --> 00:54:54,160
Speaker 2: see the valve do something, telling me can't do it.

1267
00:54:55,080 --> 00:54:56,520
Speaker 2: That's but that's how most great people.

1268
00:54:56,920 --> 00:54:59,360
Speaker 3: I can't get on this plane and go on vacation

1269
00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:00,600
Speaker 3: with me calling too.

1270
00:55:00,960 --> 00:55:03,040
Speaker 7: You can't give me a million dollars stupid.

1271
00:55:04,239 --> 00:55:05,879
Speaker 2: See how they do me, guys. I need new funds,

1272
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:11,400
Speaker 2: I need a new wife. I'm putting it. Yeah, get

1273
00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:12,080
Speaker 2: what I'm saying.

1274
00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:14,359
Speaker 3: Now, You're absolutely right. What I'm saying absolutely right.

1275
00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:18,360
Speaker 2: And everything she's feeling that uncomfortable feeling of working on herself,

1276
00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:21,120
Speaker 2: and no one understands, no one should understands your vision.

1277
00:55:21,239 --> 00:55:24,759
Speaker 1: God gave you your vision. If God gave everybody your vision,

1278
00:55:24,800 --> 00:55:25,279
Speaker 1: it wouldn't be.

1279
00:55:25,320 --> 00:55:27,120
Speaker 3: Yours, it wouldn't be your will be doing it.

1280
00:55:27,239 --> 00:55:29,760
Speaker 2: The fact that it feels uncomfortable means you are exactly

1281
00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:30,799
Speaker 2: where you're supposed.

1282
00:55:30,440 --> 00:55:32,800
Speaker 3: To be, so right, Yeah, And that discomfort that you

1283
00:55:32,960 --> 00:55:35,440
Speaker 3: feel is probably people around you who are probably going

1284
00:55:35,520 --> 00:55:39,040
Speaker 3: to remain stagnant. They're probably existing in a space of

1285
00:55:39,160 --> 00:55:42,080
Speaker 3: mediocrity that they may be okay with. But I would

1286
00:55:42,120 --> 00:55:44,279
Speaker 3: say protect your energy as well. Like a part of

1287
00:55:44,320 --> 00:55:47,080
Speaker 3: the process too, is not trying to convince others to

1288
00:55:47,239 --> 00:55:49,439
Speaker 3: believe what you believe or to see what you see,

1289
00:55:49,560 --> 00:55:51,239
Speaker 3: or feel like they can get what you're going to get.

1290
00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:54,640
Speaker 3: Sometimes you have to be the proof, you have to

1291
00:55:54,719 --> 00:55:57,200
Speaker 3: be the example. And if there are people who want

1292
00:55:57,200 --> 00:55:59,160
Speaker 3: to follow suit and eventually to bring it back to

1293
00:55:59,200 --> 00:56:01,960
Speaker 3: the topic ask you for help because they've seen the

1294
00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:03,600
Speaker 3: fruits of your labor, then it's up to you to

1295
00:56:03,680 --> 00:56:06,320
Speaker 3: decide if you want to be that person not to gatekeep,

1296
00:56:06,520 --> 00:56:08,600
Speaker 3: but instead to help another person alone.

1297
00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:12,319
Speaker 1: You need to talk more. That first part you said

1298
00:56:12,480 --> 00:56:13,560
Speaker 1: was so profound.

1299
00:56:14,320 --> 00:56:17,160
Speaker 3: Thanks, Like, seriously, when the spirit moves me, you.

1300
00:56:17,200 --> 00:56:20,040
Speaker 1: Know, forget the spirit. Well, don't forget the spirit.

1301
00:56:20,080 --> 00:56:23,640
Speaker 3: God, that's all there is no But that was really really.

1302
00:56:23,520 --> 00:56:27,000
Speaker 2: Good advice, especially in the beginning, about understanding where you're

1303
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:28,680
Speaker 2: supposed to be and leaning into that. A lot of

1304
00:56:28,719 --> 00:56:31,279
Speaker 2: people run from that you're saying and protecting your energy.

1305
00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:34,000
Speaker 2: Like that's a good point. People see you and see

1306
00:56:34,040 --> 00:56:36,880
Speaker 2: your strength, and they may be okay with their mediocrity,

1307
00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:39,520
Speaker 2: but then when they see you moving beyond, oh they

1308
00:56:39,680 --> 00:56:42,560
Speaker 2: consider your standard that they have for you, that's when

1309
00:56:42,560 --> 00:56:43,440
Speaker 2: they get uncomfortable.

1310
00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:46,279
Speaker 1: That to me is so profound, Like you need to

1311
00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:46,719
Speaker 1: talk more.

1312
00:56:47,040 --> 00:56:49,560
Speaker 3: People want to hold you. People want to hold you

1313
00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:52,560
Speaker 3: though to where they get where they see you, where

1314
00:56:52,600 --> 00:56:54,799
Speaker 3: they first met you. Think about it. We just spoke

1315
00:56:54,800 --> 00:56:56,239
Speaker 3: about this, and I think we'll probably make this a

1316
00:56:56,280 --> 00:57:01,239
Speaker 3: podcast episode eventually. But someone had said somewhere. I don't

1317
00:57:01,239 --> 00:57:02,640
Speaker 3: know if somebody must have sent me the comment or what,

1318
00:57:02,800 --> 00:57:06,280
Speaker 3: but someone said that they unfollowed you and I because

1319
00:57:06,840 --> 00:57:11,200
Speaker 3: they felt like we were losing our authenticity and people

1320
00:57:11,280 --> 00:57:13,759
Speaker 3: were going back and forth in the comment threat or whatever,

1321
00:57:14,520 --> 00:57:16,000
Speaker 3: and I was just like, Man, are we losing our

1322
00:57:16,040 --> 00:57:18,640
Speaker 3: authenticity or is it that people just want us to

1323
00:57:18,720 --> 00:57:21,800
Speaker 3: stay where they met us in that Brooklyn apartment that

1324
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:24,680
Speaker 3: is holding the iPhone up, doing the videos with the kids.

1325
00:57:24,800 --> 00:57:26,480
Speaker 1: I see those comments. I like y'all betting when y'all

1326
00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:26,800
Speaker 1: was in the.

1327
00:57:26,800 --> 00:57:30,600
Speaker 3: Apartment, right, And it's just like, so, we're not supposed

1328
00:57:30,640 --> 00:57:32,920
Speaker 3: to grow. The reason we started doing this was in

1329
00:57:33,120 --> 00:57:36,160
Speaker 3: order to grow and to you know, create a lifestyle

1330
00:57:36,240 --> 00:57:39,280
Speaker 3: for ourselves and our family, for us as both talents

1331
00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:41,720
Speaker 3: and being wanted to be actors, being on screen.

1332
00:57:41,800 --> 00:57:41,840
Speaker 5: Like.

1333
00:57:42,080 --> 00:57:43,960
Speaker 3: The reason we started all of this was to do that.

1334
00:57:44,640 --> 00:57:47,160
Speaker 3: So the people who can no longer feel like they

1335
00:57:47,200 --> 00:57:49,800
Speaker 3: can relate to us or they felt like they liked

1336
00:57:49,880 --> 00:57:52,640
Speaker 3: us better when we were doing those things. Unfortunately, everybody

1337
00:57:52,680 --> 00:57:54,320
Speaker 3: can't go with you, you know, and you have to

1338
00:57:54,360 --> 00:57:56,640
Speaker 3: be comfortable knowing your people are going to find you,

1339
00:57:57,160 --> 00:58:01,120
Speaker 3: and you'll also find like minded individuals who can now

1340
00:58:01,200 --> 00:58:03,840
Speaker 3: be your new circle of people or your circle of support.

1341
00:58:04,320 --> 00:58:06,400
Speaker 3: So don't be afraid of that. You know, you have

1342
00:58:06,560 --> 00:58:08,520
Speaker 3: to be true to who you are and standing your

1343
00:58:08,520 --> 00:58:11,240
Speaker 3: purpose because everyone's not going to understand it, and not

1344
00:58:11,280 --> 00:58:12,920
Speaker 3: everybody's going to want to be alone for the ride.

1345
00:58:12,960 --> 00:58:15,000
Speaker 3: They might want to get off that train. As Josh

1346
00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:18,480
Speaker 3: talked about trains earlier and trains being parallel and moving alongside,

1347
00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:21,919
Speaker 3: sometimes you have to turn off and take that other route.

1348
00:58:21,960 --> 00:58:24,440
Speaker 1: So good stuff, though, you did that.

1349
00:58:24,920 --> 00:58:27,800
Speaker 3: Thanks, you really did that. Yeah. But I'm excited when

1350
00:58:27,880 --> 00:58:31,040
Speaker 3: I hear from someone, you know, at a tender age

1351
00:58:31,080 --> 00:58:33,680
Speaker 3: of twenty five, who seems to like get it, you know.

1352
00:58:34,160 --> 00:58:36,160
Speaker 3: I think it's such a blessing because at twenty five,

1353
00:58:36,840 --> 00:58:38,080
Speaker 3: I didn't know what I was trying to do. I

1354
00:58:38,080 --> 00:58:39,280
Speaker 3: had an idea, you know.

1355
00:58:39,480 --> 00:58:41,920
Speaker 1: But you knew what you were doing.

1356
00:58:42,240 --> 00:58:42,800
Speaker 3: I had an idea.

1357
00:58:42,920 --> 00:58:45,160
Speaker 1: You was really focus and you just had to get

1358
00:58:45,200 --> 00:58:46,480
Speaker 1: out of the scarcity mindset.

1359
00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:46,640
Speaker 3: That.

1360
00:58:46,880 --> 00:58:48,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, that about.

1361
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:51,320
Speaker 3: Mindset what people think of you being. You know, when

1362
00:58:51,400 --> 00:58:52,960
Speaker 3: I told my mom and dad that I was not

1363
00:58:53,120 --> 00:58:55,680
Speaker 3: going to go away to college for my first semester

1364
00:58:55,800 --> 00:58:59,920
Speaker 3: because I was conflicted about doing nursing or doing communication,

1365
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:03,000
Speaker 3: and I went to middle high school in Brooklyn. I

1366
00:59:03,080 --> 00:59:05,120
Speaker 3: went to Brooklyn College across the street for a year,

1367
00:59:05,360 --> 00:59:06,920
Speaker 3: and my mom was like so embarrassed.

1368
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:09,360
Speaker 2: That was mature, though, because for you to be eighteen

1369
00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:12,760
Speaker 2: and to say, like you were a valedictorian and in

1370
00:59:12,960 --> 00:59:15,520
Speaker 2: Bethlehem you finished with a ninety something average at Midwood,

1371
00:59:15,520 --> 00:59:16,880
Speaker 2: And for you to say, I don't care what people think.

1372
00:59:16,880 --> 00:59:18,720
Speaker 2: I'm going to go to Brooklyn College even though people

1373
00:59:18,840 --> 00:59:21,200
Speaker 2: expect me to go to like a duke. Yeah, yeah,

1374
00:59:21,320 --> 00:59:23,760
Speaker 2: that was you saying I'm stepping outside of what y'all

1375
00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:26,200
Speaker 2: want me to do. So you've been You've been very

1376
00:59:26,280 --> 00:59:28,240
Speaker 2: profound and very self aware, even from.

1377
00:59:28,200 --> 00:59:29,360
Speaker 1: Eighteen giving that.

1378
00:59:29,520 --> 00:59:31,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I'm looking back now and I'm just like,

1379
00:59:31,120 --> 00:59:33,000
Speaker 3: that was something that I said. You could go and

1380
00:59:33,120 --> 00:59:37,160
Speaker 3: drop thirty grand a year on this private institution because

1381
00:59:37,160 --> 00:59:39,640
Speaker 3: you want people to say, my daughter's going here while

1382
00:59:39,680 --> 00:59:42,600
Speaker 3: I'm figuring things out to take liberal arts courses, or

1383
00:59:42,640 --> 00:59:45,080
Speaker 3: I can go across the streets for another year, figure

1384
00:59:45,120 --> 00:59:48,640
Speaker 3: that shit out. Yeah, get my GPA up and.

1385
00:59:48,760 --> 00:59:50,840
Speaker 2: Then but imagine your eighteen year old comes to you

1386
00:59:50,920 --> 00:59:52,640
Speaker 2: and say, hey, I'm gonna save you thirty thousand. I'm

1387
00:59:52,640 --> 00:59:54,560
Speaker 2: gonna go to this community college while I figure it out,

1388
00:59:54,600 --> 00:59:57,720
Speaker 2: then get a scholarship to transfer to Hostra. Like you,

1389
00:59:58,640 --> 01:00:01,160
Speaker 2: I have always been self aware, even the self awareness

1390
01:00:01,200 --> 01:00:02,600
Speaker 2: for you to be like when people are saying, like

1391
01:00:02,680 --> 01:00:03,800
Speaker 2: you and Devias staying together.

1392
01:00:03,840 --> 01:00:05,400
Speaker 1: He's a place football, and you be like, I don't

1393
01:00:05,400 --> 01:00:07,960
Speaker 1: care what y'all think. Really, you've always been very self.

1394
01:00:09,120 --> 01:00:10,600
Speaker 3: So he could pay rent, and I could pay rent

1395
01:00:10,680 --> 01:00:13,040
Speaker 3: to fund somebody else's dream when we could just live

1396
01:00:13,120 --> 01:00:14,920
Speaker 3: together and focus on the stuff that we want to

1397
01:00:14,960 --> 01:00:15,320
Speaker 3: focus on.

1398
01:00:15,520 --> 01:00:18,320
Speaker 5: Like I swear, I didn't even know money was real

1399
01:00:18,400 --> 01:00:21,200
Speaker 5: until like last year. I was not thinking about how

1400
01:00:21,280 --> 01:00:24,960
Speaker 5: much college costs. When I was in trible last year,

1401
01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:27,440
Speaker 5: I was like, damn, oh, money, that's the thing.

1402
01:00:27,640 --> 01:00:28,080
Speaker 3: That's a thing.

1403
01:00:28,520 --> 01:00:31,680
Speaker 1: Eighty eighty thousand dollars right now to go to college

1404
01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:33,439
Speaker 1: for four years.

1405
01:00:33,480 --> 01:00:35,160
Speaker 2: Now they're saying you have to stay for five years,

1406
01:00:35,240 --> 01:00:37,720
Speaker 2: get a master's to even be bachelor's is nothing.

1407
01:00:38,120 --> 01:00:40,200
Speaker 3: Well, I got to spend a half a million dollars

1408
01:00:40,760 --> 01:00:42,800
Speaker 3: just to be like on a level playing field with

1409
01:00:42,920 --> 01:00:46,600
Speaker 3: people ought to be replaced by AI, right, And that's

1410
01:00:46,840 --> 01:00:47,600
Speaker 3: just today.

1411
01:00:47,920 --> 01:00:48,640
Speaker 4: That's just today.

1412
01:00:48,720 --> 01:00:52,160
Speaker 5: With the dismantling of the Department of Education and education

1413
01:00:52,280 --> 01:00:54,800
Speaker 5: being privatized, it's gonna be way get it.

1414
01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:56,520
Speaker 1: But that's the way it always was supposed to. This

1415
01:00:56,600 --> 01:00:57,440
Speaker 1: is a whole different podcast.

1416
01:00:57,480 --> 01:01:00,360
Speaker 2: But remember we talked about this before the elites created

1417
01:01:00,440 --> 01:01:02,600
Speaker 2: college for a place for all of their kids to

1418
01:01:02,680 --> 01:01:06,240
Speaker 2: go and learn how to run their businesses, and all

1419
01:01:06,320 --> 01:01:08,320
Speaker 2: of the people who weren't elites were supposed to just

1420
01:01:08,400 --> 01:01:11,600
Speaker 2: learn how to work at those companies. Once they realized

1421
01:01:11,640 --> 01:01:14,400
Speaker 2: that other people who weren't elites wanted to go to college,

1422
01:01:14,680 --> 01:01:16,960
Speaker 2: they just write them them prices up and like put

1423
01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:18,800
Speaker 2: them in debt, put them in debt, make it so

1424
01:01:19,000 --> 01:01:21,400
Speaker 2: expensive that they can't get there, that even if they go,

1425
01:01:21,760 --> 01:01:24,720
Speaker 2: they're gonna have to job to pay off that education.

1426
01:01:24,800 --> 01:01:29,680
Speaker 2: They're gonna work for our kids anyway, That's always been man. Man,

1427
01:01:30,200 --> 01:01:31,600
Speaker 2: we could go podcasts about that.

1428
01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:33,880
Speaker 3: Look at that. Just from out of that listener letter,

1429
01:01:33,920 --> 01:01:36,040
Speaker 3: we got to potential podcasts that we can do just

1430
01:01:36,160 --> 01:01:39,000
Speaker 3: around the overarching topic of just growth, you know, people

1431
01:01:39,200 --> 01:01:42,200
Speaker 3: meeting you where they are, you know, knowing how to

1432
01:01:42,320 --> 01:01:43,600
Speaker 3: just work and put your head down and not be

1433
01:01:43,640 --> 01:01:46,360
Speaker 3: concerned with everybody else. So good luck to you and

1434
01:01:46,400 --> 01:01:49,760
Speaker 3: your endeavors. And if Triple goes on probation, at least

1435
01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:53,120
Speaker 3: we know we have someboda, we have somebody else back up.

1436
01:01:53,640 --> 01:01:54,960
Speaker 1: We got you. Let me see what.

1437
01:01:57,600 --> 01:02:00,680
Speaker 2: ZMF ZMF Studios baby were coming the UZMS.

1438
01:02:04,880 --> 01:02:06,320
Speaker 3: All right, y'all, if you want to be featured as

1439
01:02:06,360 --> 01:02:08,160
Speaker 3: a listener letter here on the show, be sure to

1440
01:02:08,320 --> 01:02:11,160
Speaker 3: email us at the Elisadvice at gmail dot com.

1441
01:02:11,440 --> 01:02:13,720
Speaker 1: That's th h E E L L I S A

1442
01:02:13,840 --> 01:02:16,960
Speaker 1: d V I C E at gmail dot com.

1443
01:02:17,040 --> 01:02:19,280
Speaker 3: All right, who wants to kick off moment of truth time?

1444
01:02:19,480 --> 01:02:20,040
Speaker 1: I got mine?

1445
01:02:20,480 --> 01:02:20,800
Speaker 3: Okay?

1446
01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:26,680
Speaker 2: Hopefully this helps people with asking for help. You don't

1447
01:02:26,760 --> 01:02:29,240
Speaker 2: have to go to help and just beg be beggy, beggy.

1448
01:02:29,880 --> 01:02:35,000
Speaker 2: You can offer services in exchange for help, like apprenticeship.

1449
01:02:35,800 --> 01:02:38,320
Speaker 2: This way, you don't have to feel as if you're

1450
01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:40,280
Speaker 2: owing somebody, because a lot of it is people have

1451
01:02:40,360 --> 01:02:43,720
Speaker 2: scarcity mentality when you go and ask for help, have

1452
01:02:43,800 --> 01:02:47,560
Speaker 2: a plan, but offer something if you're asking for something,

1453
01:02:47,640 --> 01:02:50,440
Speaker 2: and even if you're asking for something monetarily, if you

1454
01:02:50,480 --> 01:02:52,800
Speaker 2: can offer services in the meantime to help that at

1455
01:02:52,880 --> 01:02:55,560
Speaker 2: least take the guilt office that you're getting something for nothing.

1456
01:02:56,080 --> 01:02:57,919
Speaker 2: And it was having all of you guys talk about

1457
01:02:58,000 --> 01:03:00,920
Speaker 2: the mindset of what people go through, no disrespect for

1458
01:03:00,960 --> 01:03:03,120
Speaker 2: people going through that. I just never had that mindset,

1459
01:03:03,200 --> 01:03:05,960
Speaker 2: So hearing y'all talk about it made me be like, oh, shoot,

1460
01:03:05,960 --> 01:03:07,760
Speaker 2: people really be thinking that so then that's that's just

1461
01:03:07,840 --> 01:03:08,320
Speaker 2: never been me.

1462
01:03:08,680 --> 01:03:10,400
Speaker 1: I've just been the dude like her to jump out

1463
01:03:10,440 --> 01:03:11,880
Speaker 1: the window. I'm gonna ask for hell, can you help me?

1464
01:03:12,240 --> 01:03:14,760
Speaker 2: But I understand how people could feel like guilt, you

1465
01:03:14,800 --> 01:03:16,360
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying, So you know what, I don't want.

1466
01:03:16,200 --> 01:03:18,320
Speaker 1: To feel guilty. Yeah, can you help me?

1467
01:03:18,920 --> 01:03:21,760
Speaker 2: I can offer these services. I can come clean your

1468
01:03:21,840 --> 01:03:24,400
Speaker 2: car to you know every week. I can I can

1469
01:03:24,520 --> 01:03:26,800
Speaker 2: watch your kids. I can is it something for your business?

1470
01:03:27,120 --> 01:03:29,120
Speaker 2: I can do clerical work. There's always a way to

1471
01:03:29,200 --> 01:03:33,240
Speaker 2: help someone. So yeah, come with a plan and be yes,

1472
01:03:33,400 --> 01:03:33,840
Speaker 2: be willing.

1473
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:37,520
Speaker 3: Yes, all right, Matt, what you got I need help?

1474
01:03:38,080 --> 01:03:39,040
Speaker 7: That's my motive, the truth.

1475
01:03:39,920 --> 01:03:45,400
Speaker 6: If there's anybody out there that's has experiencing curating galleries, uh,

1476
01:03:45,640 --> 01:03:49,280
Speaker 6: curating photo books, I'm trying to do it. I don't

1477
01:03:49,320 --> 01:03:51,400
Speaker 6: know what I'm doing, but I'm trying to keep making

1478
01:03:51,440 --> 01:03:54,640
Speaker 6: I have exhibits ready to go, but I need help.

1479
01:03:54,480 --> 01:03:55,840
Speaker 7: On that part. So that's my job.

1480
01:03:55,920 --> 01:04:00,680
Speaker 3: Man, there exactly anybody can cure galleries. Help me that out.

1481
01:04:00,880 --> 01:04:01,920
Speaker 1: Watch watch and I.

1482
01:04:01,960 --> 01:04:05,040
Speaker 2: Hope hey, whoever's cutting this clip, cut that clips. We'll

1483
01:04:05,080 --> 01:04:07,400
Speaker 2: posted on social so we can get out there. Because

1484
01:04:07,560 --> 01:04:09,120
Speaker 2: I don't want that. Just live in the patreon.

1485
01:04:09,240 --> 01:04:12,200
Speaker 3: We want that to go, so come on man, Yeah

1486
01:04:12,400 --> 01:04:14,560
Speaker 3: it works too, Joshua, do we in.

1487
01:04:16,480 --> 01:04:18,680
Speaker 8: My moment with the truth is just keep asking for help, man.

1488
01:04:19,240 --> 01:04:21,120
Speaker 8: You you never really know where your help is coming

1489
01:04:21,160 --> 01:04:24,280
Speaker 8: from and when it will come. People will always people

1490
01:04:24,280 --> 01:04:26,720
Speaker 8: are everyone's hustling and everybody's trying to get their own

1491
01:04:27,120 --> 01:04:29,600
Speaker 8: So sometimes people don't have time to help you. But

1492
01:04:30,360 --> 01:04:33,880
Speaker 8: keep helping, keep asking, and also why you're doing it.

1493
01:04:34,120 --> 01:04:36,200
Speaker 8: Exhaust all your resources. Make sure you're taking care of

1494
01:04:36,320 --> 01:04:38,520
Speaker 8: what you need to do so that when your time

1495
01:04:38,600 --> 01:04:41,800
Speaker 8: comes up, you are absolutely prepared to receive that help

1496
01:04:42,200 --> 01:04:44,640
Speaker 8: and also give and be of service to somebody else.

1497
01:04:45,320 --> 01:04:46,720
Speaker 6: Stay ready so you don't got to get ready.

1498
01:04:46,760 --> 01:04:48,440
Speaker 7: There you go, short person.

1499
01:04:48,640 --> 01:04:49,560
Speaker 1: I love it, Love it.

1500
01:04:51,040 --> 01:04:54,720
Speaker 5: You know, learn how to sit in discomfort. You know

1501
01:04:54,840 --> 01:04:58,720
Speaker 5: that that phrase that goes don't let temporary feelings make

1502
01:04:58,800 --> 01:05:02,160
Speaker 5: permanent decisions. Yes, when you're asking for help, you might

1503
01:05:02,320 --> 01:05:05,960
Speaker 5: have to let temporary feelings help you to make permanent

1504
01:05:06,080 --> 01:05:08,520
Speaker 5: decisions that are good for you. So if you're scared

1505
01:05:08,560 --> 01:05:12,840
Speaker 5: of feeling judged, you're scared of feeling stupid, you're scared

1506
01:05:12,880 --> 01:05:14,920
Speaker 5: of like what somebody might say, when you ask for help,

1507
01:05:15,040 --> 01:05:17,320
Speaker 5: just remember that the help that you receive in that moment,

1508
01:05:17,520 --> 01:05:19,760
Speaker 5: in that moment of discomfort, is going to be a

1509
01:05:19,920 --> 01:05:21,880
Speaker 5: lasting It's going to make a lasting impact.

1510
01:05:22,640 --> 01:05:23,320
Speaker 1: That's life good.

1511
01:05:23,520 --> 01:05:25,640
Speaker 3: I like that. I think two things came to mind

1512
01:05:25,680 --> 01:05:27,040
Speaker 3: for me from my mown of truth. The first thing

1513
01:05:27,160 --> 01:05:30,840
Speaker 3: is initiative. Initiative comes hand in hand with help. If

1514
01:05:30,880 --> 01:05:32,520
Speaker 3: you're going to ask for help, you have to take

1515
01:05:32,520 --> 01:05:35,560
Speaker 3: the initiative to say, hey, what's my plan? Am I

1516
01:05:35,640 --> 01:05:37,640
Speaker 3: coming with a well thought out plan? Maybe I'm not

1517
01:05:37,760 --> 01:05:39,960
Speaker 3: coming with that, so maybe I need to have advice

1518
01:05:40,080 --> 01:05:42,960
Speaker 3: or exee guidance from someone. So taking the initiative is

1519
01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:45,120
Speaker 3: something that people can see, especially when you're going to

1520
01:05:45,200 --> 01:05:46,400
Speaker 3: ask for help, because it's like, you know what, I'm

1521
01:05:46,400 --> 01:05:48,080
Speaker 3: going to be more inclined to help you because I

1522
01:05:48,160 --> 01:05:50,400
Speaker 3: see that you have the ambition and you're taking the

1523
01:05:50,440 --> 01:05:54,200
Speaker 3: initiative to come with a planned and also if you

1524
01:05:54,320 --> 01:05:57,320
Speaker 3: are in a position to help, pay it forward, Like

1525
01:05:57,440 --> 01:05:59,200
Speaker 3: that's something that Deval and I do all the time,

1526
01:05:59,280 --> 01:06:02,200
Speaker 3: Like we think about how much help we've received, not

1527
01:06:02,360 --> 01:06:04,960
Speaker 3: monetarily per se, but even just people who've supported us,

1528
01:06:05,000 --> 01:06:06,920
Speaker 3: who've invested in us. We don't take for granted our

1529
01:06:06,960 --> 01:06:10,080
Speaker 3: Patreon gang, who you guys are helping to help us

1530
01:06:10,520 --> 01:06:12,560
Speaker 3: to do our content and to put things out there

1531
01:06:12,600 --> 01:06:14,600
Speaker 3: and to help our make our dreams come true. And

1532
01:06:14,800 --> 01:06:17,480
Speaker 3: we take a responsibility very heavily to pay it forward,

1533
01:06:17,520 --> 01:06:20,160
Speaker 3: and we do that. So I encourage anyone else who's

1534
01:06:20,160 --> 01:06:21,760
Speaker 3: in a position to help to pay it forward.

1535
01:06:22,000 --> 01:06:25,080
Speaker 6: Thank you, Patreon. You're not just helping them, You're helping us, Tooks.

1536
01:06:26,880 --> 01:06:29,080
Speaker 1: We love y'all. Patreon gang gang, Gang Gang Gang.

1537
01:06:29,200 --> 01:06:32,120
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yes. And I guess if you're not on

1538
01:06:32,200 --> 01:06:33,800
Speaker 3: Patreon yet, or if you have some friends who are

1539
01:06:33,880 --> 01:06:36,440
Speaker 3: lingering in the abyss and they're debating about joining Patreon,

1540
01:06:36,880 --> 01:06:40,040
Speaker 3: they can see Ellis After content, Ellis ever After content,

1541
01:06:40,560 --> 01:06:44,080
Speaker 3: the After Show, as well as more exclusive Ellis Family content,

1542
01:06:44,320 --> 01:06:45,840
Speaker 3: and then you can find us, of course on social

1543
01:06:45,880 --> 01:06:49,960
Speaker 3: media at Ellis ever After. I'm Kadeen, I am I

1544
01:06:50,080 --> 01:06:51,160
Speaker 3: am deval on the.

1545
01:06:51,160 --> 01:06:54,040
Speaker 8: Score on Matt Ellis, and I am Joshah Duwayne, who

1546
01:06:54,120 --> 01:06:56,320
Speaker 8: is sick and tired of that young lady who keeps

1547
01:06:56,440 --> 01:07:02,520
Speaker 8: asking where's the video miss that comes out on Friday?

1548
01:07:03,360 --> 01:07:04,000
Speaker 8: Name Josh.

1549
01:07:06,680 --> 01:07:09,720
Speaker 5: We're not gonna put your own blastes, but Friday could

1550
01:07:09,760 --> 01:07:12,920
Speaker 5: she be acting like we post the podcast just for her.

1551
01:07:13,160 --> 01:07:16,200
Speaker 4: She's like, guys, I've told you before.

1552
01:07:16,080 --> 01:07:17,640
Speaker 1: I don't like the audio.

1553
01:07:18,840 --> 01:07:20,080
Speaker 3: I'm polightly asked.

1554
01:07:20,800 --> 01:07:23,200
Speaker 1: I don't want to listen to our heart. I want

1555
01:07:23,240 --> 01:07:25,280
Speaker 1: to keep the video.

1556
01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:30,440
Speaker 4: I'm at trips, the Cool t R I B b Z.

1557
01:07:30,720 --> 01:07:31,960
Speaker 4: That's cool on everything.

1558
01:07:33,560 --> 01:07:36,240
Speaker 2: And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, be sure to rate,

1559
01:07:36,800 --> 01:07:40,200
Speaker 2: review and subscribe. Shout out to my man Leonny Green

1560
01:07:40,920 --> 01:07:41,880
Speaker 2: from Quiet.

1561
01:07:43,360 --> 01:07:44,960
Speaker 3: Oh, and we're going into the fall, y'all, so be

1562
01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:47,720
Speaker 3: sure to get your vintage. At this point collector's item

1563
01:07:48,760 --> 01:07:51,600
Speaker 3: Dead Ass Hoodies. They're going back on sale, so don't

1564
01:07:51,600 --> 01:07:55,120
Speaker 3: forget to grab yours in the merch section. And hopefully

1565
01:07:55,240 --> 01:07:57,920
Speaker 3: soon we can have some Ellis ever After merch out.

1566
01:07:57,960 --> 01:07:59,440
Speaker 3: We just want to make sure it's perfect for y'all.

1567
01:07:59,480 --> 01:08:01,200
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, It's gonna be fire.

1568
01:08:03,360 --> 01:08:08,720
Speaker 5: Got Ellis ever After is an iHeartMedia podcast. It's hosted

1569
01:08:08,760 --> 01:08:13,360
Speaker 5: by Kadeen and Deval Ellis. It's produced by Triple Video,

1570
01:08:13,480 --> 01:08:17,960
Speaker 5: Production by Joshua Duane and Matthew Ellis, video editing by

1571
01:08:18,080 --> 01:08:18,880
Speaker 5: Lashawan Rowe.

1572
01:09:04,320 --> 01:10:04,200
Speaker 1: To Gift, Hoping and Waiting